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lazaruspiss · 11 months

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watching batman ninja and taking notes bc idk how to focus <3 spoilers under the cut

batman ninja is a wild movie already but harleys design fucks

smth smth. everyone got sent to generally the same time/location with variation, time can vary by years (selina was sent 2 years before bruce) but probably not decades and id assume location varies to anywhere within a certain range of whatever island in japan that this is on.

nightwing and red hood were teamed up separately from batman before the blast that sent everyone back by the look of it. cute.

i wanna see ivyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy- DEATHSTROKE IS HERE?

ohh ok. time difference was based off of proximity/order that they were sucked in, making batman the last to show. a few minutes become years, everyone else were def much closer in timing but even a few seconds mightve made weeks difference in how far back they were sent.

lords alluded to so far: joker, penguin, ivy, deathstroke, two-face

mz ivy im in love w u

"once my fortress is complete, itll be my time to strike. yeahhh" OLD MAN. BOOMER. he says yeah like an adult actor playing a teen in an anti-drug ad campaign.

the lord intros are so fun actually

i love selinas little puppet, not a fan of bruces general disposition.

ok bruce looks better with the beard. also alfred what the fuck. how. and lmao. alfred. "lets go on a japan trip we get back."

HARLEYYYYY SHES SO CUTE. is this tara. i think its tara. love her.

classic "stop me or save the civilian trick" smh

congrats to bane on bulking up i guess? anyways. wheres the others. im bored of batman. i do love the little chibi batman who forcibly ejects bruce, someone mustve added a fail safe specifically for bruce being dumb and self destructive.

the lip syncing is off, is this a dub?

DICKIE!! anime hair... and dick's anime bf/leader of the ninjas.

"how do we regain the advantage when we have nothing" bruce. bruce. the whole squad is here + a ninja army. girl.

DAMIAN? oh hes still cute.

monkee :) hes so silly

so tims swords are just for decoration then? weirdo. joker gets his ass beat, whatever. tim states the obvious. backstab fest. im bored again.

"joker!! you'll kill yourself!!" "that's the point, lmao"

35 min in, still no red hood. just establishing shots to explain that each lord has the special time sticks.

"i didnt know who i was after i lost my car" could you be anymore pathetic. he isnt even cute pathetic, hes just "id push him into a puddle" pathetic. stop brooding you boring bitch. oh thank god. he acknowledges that he has other people carrying his ass. red hood still hasn't shown up, not even for bruces go team speech.

ACK. THE CUT IN ART. SO PRETTY. ill probably make another post for screenshots.

red hood time. finally. jason the buddhist monk and his joker hunt sidequest. a part of jasons lashing out at harley is framed in a way that makes it look like a sexual assault imo, so it's giving some mixed emotions. like if this turns out to just be some regular farmers this would be a "stranger breaks in and gropes your wife while threatening you" kinda deal. i mean they went ass shot to jason grabbing her and holding her like. ack. like hes holding her like that so he can break her arm but u gotta trust me it looks Bad. not to just narrate the entire scene but its a lot. jason's pissed and scary, the art is very pretty, im sacred and a little. you know. youve seen me post you know how i am.

this movie kinda. i personally think it wouldve looked better in 2d.

"if you knew him like i did" bruce... also mr j and harley are fully amnesiac so jason the effectively traumatize 2 strangers for no reason. jokerquinn gets a happy ending by becoming farmers. "we'll take them back with us-" NO??? THIS IS LITERALLY THEIR HAPPY ENDING?? THIS IS THEIR BEST/ONLY SHOT AND TRUE REHABILITATION BRUCE. BRINGING THEM BACK WOULD BE PURE STUPIDITY AND/OR SELFISHNESS.

jason saying bruce but bruce saying red hood...

whoops. they still remember, so bruce is just a dumb hoe who thought he and joker had something special.

why are there penguins here. like actual penguins. and why does slade have a gf.

red hood has my fav voice acting of the boys tbh, the others sound a bit clunky. and is ivy also tara. she sounds a bit like tt03 raven.

mech battle. slade is still hot. even if he is a cringe old man. HARVEY BUDDHA BOT?

dami should get to keep his monkey friend. as a treat.

THIS ISNT SKYRIM I DONT THINK HORSES CAN RUN LIKE THAT

ok two face is funny. coin said i gotta beat ur ass now. literal "switching on a dime" behavior

hi welcome back to robot wars. fight scenes are really hit or miss for me, i love em or i fall asleep. smth smth. joker moment. clowns doing the heavy lifting. and where is harley getting her hair dye from, or is that a wig?

fun fact! red spider lilies (the flower growing from jokers gas bomb) symbolize death <3

aaaaand we're back to mech battles. voltron assemble or whatever.

dami almost gets squished trying to save monkey

bruce. bruce are you having an autism event or are you being rude on purpose. anyways give the dues ex macina to dami he deserves it more. baby boy can play the flute so good <3

"momi?" "whos she" a monkey friend tim. obviously.

THE MONKEYS ARE HELPING HIM PLAY IM GONNA LOSE IT. thats so unrealistic but its sooooooooo cute.

m. monkey.

damian is having the time of his life fr

damian is no longer having the time of his life

bats. bat monkey. b. batman? how.

fire no match for batman made of monkeys and bats. anime punch.

Nightwing Vs Penguin, Red Hood Vs Deathstroke, Red Robin Vs Two Face, Robin Vs Poison Ivy

damian that was not a joke. A for effort tho.

ok so the amnesia WAS real but smth smth plant magic.

joker that is not what a joke is. you're worse that damian.

4 barrels, who do you think you are deathstroke. the guy who killed the prime minister of japan? HARLEY? harley. this frame gets its own post she straight up licked her. and thats a lot of bare monkey ass. blah blah they blow up robot. "keep your tongue to yourself" blushing rn

batjokes sword fight, im bored again. joker has a boner. who give a shit. bruce bores me in that special way of his. i am once again reminded about why i can only ever pay attention to him when Dick is involved. if someone else doesnt show up soon my eyes are gonna roll back into my head. joker is not funny enough to make this interesting. hes kinda hot tho. is it just me or are the animators losing steam towards the end of this. im. im bored. oh i missed the fans, those were cool, its nice to see them one last time. blah blah kill joker- wait a minu- ok nvm. coward. batjokes should die together an share a grave. in main canon even.

gonna cry over monkichi brb. at least he has monmi. his sister? gf? both?

ok so by the credits i assume this movie was originally in japanese. anyways. after credits. bruce does wayne stuff, selina does catwoman things. pfft. old style batcart dents a strangers car.

harley and ivy were tara strong ofc, and apparently jason and dami shared a VA, i didnt even notice that. so did dick and alfred. and grodd and deathstroke. a lot of double casting.

#batman ninja reactions

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frobin · 2 years

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it’s hilarious how frobin stans try and debunk every other robin ship. I found your debunking of lawbin post just by searching them up. Like your shit and stay in your lane. I recognise you too. You’re the try-to-be sanctimonious frobin stan on Twitter that says they always try to “check” toxic frobin stans but your likes consist of posts that trash other robin ships. I like frobin but the stans are worse than lunami shippers and have ruined frobin for me. It gives insecurity. The whole basis is “oh oda said they’re the mom and dad of the crew”. Yeah he also said Zoro is the dad and Usopp is the mother. So what then? All of u need to stop being so annoying

EVERYONE, I'm going to answer this ask because I want to educate. I have no idea if you return anon but hey... maybe you do and maybe you actually learn something from my post. But be aware I wrote it while being pissed off.

And sorry to all the LawBin fans who find this because of anon who did not censor the ship name. I don't control the anon.

---

Mate... if I would try to seriously debunk La:wB:in I would put much more effort into it.

And what post do you mean? This one, that is two years old and posted because I tried to understand where you fans saw La:wB:in?

Or this one, with ONE (1) note, that I only answered because someone asked me? And sorry that I got a bit prissy in this one but I was annoyed by the fact that La:wB:in fans had spoiled me - while I was searching for FRobin on twitter - with something that turned out to be one of the thinnest anti-FRobin arguments that I've ever laid eyes on.

And I've seen quite a lot of anti-FRobin arguments. Honestly I have better anti-FRobin arguments than two people sitting beside each ohter!

"Like your shit and stay in your lane"

Yet, you are in my inbox.

"You’re the try-to-be sanctimonious frobin stan on Twitter that says they always try to “check” toxic frobin stans but your likes consist of posts that trash other robin ships."

True and even though it might seem insincere this ist the thought process: I hope that when I like their stuff - instead of retweeting it - they follow my twitter and see the many times I tweet "Please don't engage in fandom wank! Leave other shippers alone! Ship and let ship!"

And it is also true that I do sometimes tell peole "hey I'm sorry you had bad experiences with FRobin fans" because personally I mostly had positive ones. In my opinion FRobin fans are smart, calm, silent and love FRobin because it's healthy and wholesome. The exception from the rule? Most of the times Trolls.

I've told "FRobin fans" to stop to annoy others and they told me that they actually don't ship anything. Often enough people just want to stir shit up, making people hate "the shippers" and so "the ship".

Just like you. You fell for it and you also give a very bad image towards all of the La:wB:in shippers. But I know you're just a single warrior on your path of righteousness. Good luck finding the chill to not do that anymore, mate. Maybe read my pinned post?

Before anyone wonders why I made those screenshots: I sent them to a Zo:Ro:bin shipper to show them that maybe not every attack made by FRobin fans are actually FRobin fans. And the same goes for EVERY SHIP! EVERY SINGLE SHIP!

We different shippers and organiziers sometimes work together to bring shippers home, where they belong.

"I like frobin but the stans are worse than lunami shippers and have ruined frobin for me."

Here is a little fun fact: You can still enjoy FRobin without engaging with the fans. Just go read fanfiction on Ao3 without an account. Go on pixiv and deviantart and look at fanarts. Don't read tweets or tumblr posts. Curate your online expirence. It is really simple.

Also I don't know what LuNami has to do with anything... but you will find assholes for every ship and every fandom (yes, FRobin too). I tend to be quite the asshole sometimes. Luckily most of the time I calm down before I go full rage.

"It gives insecurity."

FRobin fans have nothing to be insecure about. We constantly make fun of our ship because of how safe we feel in our little vessel. It's a strong ship because we have a shipwright. ;)

"The whole basis is “oh oda said they’re the mom and dad of the crew”. Yeah he also said Zoro is the dad and Usopp is the mother. So what then? All of u need to stop being so annoying"

..... oh god I'm so tired. Please if you want to debunk FRobin just do your homework. If you want to know why people ship FRobin, here is some reading material. Go through it and then please give me something else to work with.

Why people ship FRobin:

Too much to read for you?

Take this:

"Franky and Robin are the mom and dad", mate that is not even accurate anymore. It's Jinbe now. Franky is a perverted Grandma.

God, imagine shipping FRobin only because of that... that is even a worse argument then "People only ship FRobin because of one non-canon scene in the anime". No dude...

The tag is "why I ship it" on this very blog. Educate yourself

#FRobin #not frobin #come on give me something to work with #I'm tired and bored #and I hope my RL friends don't learn that I answered this ask #because they said I should just delete it #but in case someone else finds this post #just do your homework before you come running into anyones inbox #and be aware of trolls #they are everywhere #they live for the wank #I hate that this is forgotten knowledge #kon

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 2 years

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Which do u think has been ur most iconic anon ask akakqjqk

my most iconic anon ask...? Damn, I dunno sksks

Y'know how many anon asks I've answered since starting this blog? with all the themed nights I had? When you go to my blog and go to the #asks tag, there's over 200 pages soooo I honestly don't know if I can give you *the* definitive iconic anon ask.

Also, what do you mean when you say iconic? Are we talkin' the most memorable? and is it in a positive or negative light? because not gonna lie, anon, the anons that I remember the most are negative. Isn't that how it always goes? You could get 10 asks, 9 positive experiences and 1 negative and it's that one negative that's gonna stick with ya. Awesome, right?

I do think I have an experience with a certain set of anons from the same person that I suppose you could say is "iconic" or memorable in a shitty way? In fact, they're a set of anons that I never even publicly answered.

I believe I shared some of the story once before when I was promoting The Writer's Guild? But not the whole story, just the part that explained why people had to directly message me if they wanted to join.

I dunno, maybe it'll be good to fully share this, get it off my chest and all that. It's probably the most bizarre thing to happen to me in this fandom, and not a good bizarre.

Y'know how I used to do T5F on this blog? They were a lot of fun, I loved making them! But, the very first one I ever did about the top 5 dumbest things about TFS not only got me yelled at by an anon, but they kinda sorta spied on me in an old discord chat. It's a wild story, most of the chat was present for it and it was an overall uncomfortable and unbelievable night.

I wish I had taken screenshots but it didn't occur to me at the time, and I'm not apart of that chat anymore for this reason, but you can even ask @pi-creates or anyone else who was present.

So, the reason this anon was upset with me and this T5F I posted was a joke I made about Violet.... because of course this all happened because of Violet sksksk. I don't exactly have a happy history when it comes to interacting with hardcore Violet stans, they don't really care for my takes on her character or her relationships.

The 4th entry on that post was about Abel's shotgun and how it doesn't make sense that Louis was the only one hit by it. I said the following:

"Soooo…. I guess the buckshot swerves around and above Violet to ONLY hit Louis? Like, I know she ducks a bit but I still feel like something should’ve nicked her as well?? At least?? Like, are lesbians immune to shotguns and that’s why nothing hit Violet?? Am I only learning this now??"

I made this joke as a way to show how absurd the whole thing with Abel's gun was, I was being hyperbolic, didn't think twice about it, right? I post the T5F, it's well received, I'm already planning for the next week's T5F.... but then I got the first anon. It was mostly in all caps yelling at me for being lesbophic, hating Violet, telling me to shut the fuck up and get out, etc.

Here's the deal, if this person was genuinely upset with my bad throwaway joke about Violet, then that's fair. If they had sent me an ask that was like "Hey, that joke you made about Violet made me uncomfortable, you shouldn't make jokes about lesbians like that, especially if you're not a lesbian." then I would've responded with an apology and a promise to do better. Because yeah, I am truly sorry if that did rub some the wrong way, and I've tried to watch myself, make sure I'm not making jokes like that after this whole thing happened, getting second opinions, doing what I can to not make anyone else feel uncomfortable.

That person didn't do that, they were aggressive and I've learned that aggressive anons are not worth responding to, so I didn't. But back in that old discord server, I used to share those anons with the group and we would talk about them. This person sent me another ask that was super passive aggressive, I remember it going something like, "hey bestie when are you going to respond to my ask calling you out for being lesbophic?" which I shared with the group to get their take on the joke and this anon.

As we discussed this, more anons kept coming in from the same person, all about the same thing, written the same way, all aggressive.

It stopped being all fun and games when the asks started responding to the things I was saying in the chat. We figured out that either this person was in our chat, or someone in chat was sending them everything I was saying.

What's funny is we all had a clear guess on who it was- someone joined the server under the most generic name of like "Anna Smith," they had clouis fanart as their picture, and they were never online... until that night. That night was the first time they have ever shown up as online, they were online the entire time we were talking about this, and when Pi messaged them, they responded but then went offline and the asks stopped coming in.

Like... cut and dry, right? They got caught. It was clearly this random person who was never online, who never interacted with us, who randomly joined and was in the server for I dunno... weeks?

Maybe it was them. I don't actually know and I never will, and it made me so paranoid to be in the group that I eventually left.

But the part that gets me the most? This anon made me feel like I had to explain myself to the chat about my sexuality, something I never shared here on tumblr or with the group for personal reasons.

The ask that kickstarted the realization that this anon was spying on our chat simply asked "are you wlw?"

which again, I didn't publicly answer, but brought to chat because I was pretty sure this person was expecting/hoping for me to say I'm straight so they could have their "GOTCHA" moment, y'know? or they got ahead of themselves and had an "oh shit, what if she's not straight?" moment after calling me lesbophobic, a bitch, whatever other insults they called me that I can't remember.

After I shared that, I felt like I had to justify my sexuality? in a way? I don't know how to describe it, it felt a little bit like I was in a corner with ample room to get out but I had to decide which direction to go but once I went, there was no going back. I was worried that my friends would end up thinking that I was just some straight person making jokes about lesbians, that I didn't respect queer women because I wasn't giving the anon what they wanted... So I told the truth that yeah, I am wlw, I'm bisexual.

Then I got an ask that was something like "and being bi isn't the same as being lesbian, you can't talk about lesbians" so on, they said something about how no one jokes about Clementine's bisexuality [which isn't true, people joke about Clementine being bi all the time and if I had made the same exact joke about Clem instead of Violet, then I bet that anon wouldn't have said anything to me] so don't make them about Violet, same stuff they've said before... which set off alarm bells because it was almost like they saw exactly what I typed in chat.

It's just not something I put on display, y'know? My bisexuality is mine, it's personal, and that was definitely not the way I wanted to tell my friends in chat but it's how it went, it's how people found out, and now here we are.

I'm pretty sure all of us were weirded out, uncomfortable, it was.... an experience, lemme tell you.

....so does this count as iconic? sksksks

I know this probably wasn't the answer you were looking for but hey, if I have to give my most memorable anon[s], then that one takes it.

#asks #y'know what I'm not even gonna tag violet #usually i tag every character i mention in my posts but not for this story sksksks #it still baffles me like i have so many questions and i will never get answers to *why* this was even a thing #but i was right it did feel good to get it off my chest #i was thinking about this the other day and i dunno i guess good job to that anon? you became *iconic*#i dunno what your plan was but if that was it then a gold star on your forehead sksksks

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kmgkmg · 9 months

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“almost included a lil text abt hosh accidentally adding joshua to a gc that he meant to add vernon and gyu to....hosh wouldve sent something like "so how long do yall wanna bet it's going to be until they're engaged" and joshua would wait for everyone to place their bets and then be like "well now you all owe me money since we just got engaged" *sends a pic of his hand and an engagement ring* BUT ALAS. i settled on a dating anniversary instead. just know in that universe, they would eventually get married (an extra little epilogue just for you anon)”

ynshie….marriage…..real…..(i explode into tiny little pieces) i actually screamed and nearly rolled off my bed when i read “well now you all owe me money since we just got engaged” like i prayed for times like these FR!!! (i dont think ill ever get over ynshie ever this extra epilogue will live in my brain thank you so so much 😭😭🫶🫶)

also THERE WAS A PLAYLIST BREAKDOWN?? actually dropping everything to read it all while listening to the playlist im so excited to read it rn tysm <33

(also i just noticed that u posted a ww fic??? omw to read it rn . angst will not stop me) (i will eat my words soon)

-⛺️

put my reply under the cut so our message won't be too long on the dashboard but 😗🫳*picks up the little pieces of u one by one that have exploded*

BUT YEAHHHHH!!!! there are so many lil headcanons abt this fic anonnie!!!!!!!!!! since u like the lil nuggets.. i'll shower u in some unused photos and their What Ifs!!

1...firework/sparkler pic: remember the tweet after cabin wars when joshua realized how cute reader looked when they were happy...yeah reader would've had that realization too on the 4th!!!!! joshua probably asked vernon to take the pic and he would post it on main being kinda fuckboyish but reader and joshua would (obliviously) be flirting in the comments. like get together alr 🙄 2...vernon/josh preoccupied on their phones: reader would send this pic to hoshi and be like "they've been trying to figure out how to load a tiktok compilation vid onto the tv for the kids...who's gna tell them that i hid the remote? 😝" reader just being chaotic since hoshi would b gone that day for personal reasons or smthn 3...joshua bed pic: I WAS SOOOOO TEMPTED TO USE THIS ONE! the thing is though it looks soooooo like Professionally taken, yknow? but it would've been vernon being a little cupid, texting reader like "we mentioned your name and suddenly bro is wide awake" LIKE LOOK HOW PRECIOUS HE LOOKS???? it could pass for him being infatuated w you and UGHHH yeah!!

4...mud masks: the camp has rewarded the counselors for taking care of the campers all summer! free spa day for all of them! except nobody told joshua and hoshi where the mud bath was and the spa was nature themed so um. when they saw a pool outside of the changing rooms with mud, they automatically thought that it must be the place w rejuvenating mud for the skin! yeah no...it's just an old pool that hasn't been cleaned. so they have actual dirty mud/clay on their face. reader and vernon come back from buying snacks like ??????? how are you so muddy when we didn't even tell you where to go??? and reader takes that pic of them just utterly shocked like !!!!!! wym that pool wasn't even a part of the spa?!!??!! 5...karaoke night: again, a counselors only type of event. they would go to the local pub and have fun (maybe drink, maybe not idk!) but you and hoshi would encourage joshua to sing and vernon to rap! joshua would go after you kept whining, he's a sucker for you, and ofc start singing sunday morning. reader would tweet the video and caption it like "living up to the username i see @/sundaymorning" 6...pfp: ok this one is the most nugget of nuggets but i was considering making this joshua's pfp/icon for reader and joshua's texts! it would b for after they're together! i was gna add a bit abt how he makes funny faces to cheer reader up. he made that face one day during one of your facetimes, so you screenshotted it and always look at his contact pic when you feel down!

if you did get the chance to check out the breakdown i would b soooo interested to know which song(s) u think fits the series the best!! i def have my own picks for the ones i listened to a lot and used the most 🤭

THE WONU FIC!!!!!!!! my friend is a wonu stan and i was texting her like... yeah almost done w the wonu angst.. and she was like WONWOO?? ANGST????? 🤲 it was soooo funny bcos she's v chill but she was eating up the little sections of the fic that i was sending her hehe

i also made two mbs on my other sb for the wonwoo fic: one based more on the vibes and one based on the aes! the one w wonwoo's face kinda flopped and i'm like 👁️ interesting... @ the followers on that blog

sorry for the late reply!! but hope u had a nice day <333

#kmgkmganswers #⛺️ anon #ive been offline p much all day :OOOO which is wild consindering ive been up since 6:30 am (it's 9:45 pm my time)

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senseearly · 2 years

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Me, suffering a headache but imagining an AU in which the shitty teen squad (Genos, Badd, Garou) all meet first on Twitter and became mutuals there, but they don’t know who each other is.

Genos is the first Saitama stan account who saves/retweets/likes all saitama photos and screenshots, and like peter parker manages to take pics of saitama too to post on the net (w/ saitama’s permission of course).

Badd has his personal twitter account for almost five years already and uses it to follow accounts posting cat pictures, desserts, and news of his favorite baseball teams.

Garou’s account has no prof pic, no header, and has the most random twitter handle ever. Only follows the socmed account for bang’s dojo, and engages in a lot of the hero debates on twitter.

I can imagine them first interacting under Genos’ photo post of a konbu soup recipe or something, and Badd wanting to get more details about the recipe since it looks delicious (and he wants to cook it for Zenko who likes konbu). while garou gives genos some tips and advice on how to make it more delicious cause he knows how to cook a lot of dishes which he learned from bang

Second interaction would be of garou’s opinion of heroes. Unlike Garou’s previous experience with twitter debates, Garou’s convo with Badd and Genos under the replies went on civilly and was insightful. And they all roast/ignore randoms who chime in with rude comments because ‘hey we didn’t ask u’

Third interaction would probably be Badd’s photo of Tama. Genos and Garou both apparently recognize the cat and they all figure out that Tama does get fed by the rest of the neighborhood and Genos and Garou making fun (mostly Garou) of the fact that Tama is a two-timing cat

They all hit it from there. I can see them making a group DM of them just chatting about their day and being chaotic with each other.

But they also send each other very cryptic messages about their daily line of work like, Badd saying, “im in a shitty ass meeting. it’s so boring” while he’s in an s-class meeting, and genos, who’s literally right next to him, responds in their group chat, “me too.”

OR Garou going like, “got invited at some special recruitment event. time to conduct evil ;)” and badd and genos sending “lmao have fun” but it’s garou marching into the hero association hq after sitch invited all people from the underworld and we all know what happens next

When Genos loses one of his arms in a fight:

Genos: lost my arm again

Badd: lmao what do u mean again

Garou: how did u type this

Badd after he got sent to the hospital after fighting monster centipede & garou:

Badd: some punks really test ur waters dont they

Garou: lmao what happened

Badd: got sent to the hospital after a fight. punk ran away

Garou: oh damn. send me their name, i can deal with them

Genos: slr, busy w/ work. hope u get well soon

Badd: haha thanks guys. it’s okay. this hospital won’t keep me for long

Garou: what

When the monster association arc blows over and things are sort of peaceful now, they agree to meet each other. they all wear disguises cause, genos and badd are heroes and want to keep their privacy. while garou is still technically on the run. but the moment they saw each other at the place they’re supposed to meet, they immediately KNOW who each other is

#one punch man #genos #metal bat #garou #this is very ooc but this is just pure self-indulgent

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hamsternamedmarinette · 3 years

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i don't know if i'm just stupid and you already explained it but i still don't know what the hell was going on with all your coq courage stuff

Not to worry, I don't think I ever fully explained it. Here's the full story, complete with screenshots:

For the past.... I actually don't know how long, I never really kept track, but let's just say two months, I would occasionally get an ask from an anon, requesting that I search Coq Courage in the Miraculous wiki and post the image that came with it (an image of the silhouettes of all the new heroes to appear in season 4). I wish I still had them so I could show you exactly what they said, but I usually just deleted them when I got them (sorry anon). It was always something like "there's a spoiler in the miraculous wiki, search Coq Courage and post what you find, please and thank you" or "if you search Coq Courage in the Miraculous wiki you will find a picture. Please post this picture once you find it. Thank you in advance." Nothing rude or anything, but I just didn't want to humor it.

Anyway, I got another one yesterday, and I guess I was in the mood to be a troll, so I just made a post that said "coq courage" and nothing else. Then I got this message:

I responded by reblogging the post I made and, once again, saying only "coq courage". Then I got this:

This was now officially getting hilarious to me so I reblogged my post again and added "......................coq courage"

"coq courage?"

In the meantime, a lot of my followers were like "what the hell is going on" because they didn't know about the anon, they just saw me reblogging the same post over and over and only saying "coq courage." So I got a couple of Non-Coq-Courage-Anon asks too. But I answered most of those asks with nothing more than a "coq courage" and also reblogged my original post and added "c o q c o u r a g e", and received this ask in response:

In the tags of one of the normal asks I got, in which someone said "isn't coq courage the rooster miraculous holder?" And I responded with "coq courage :)", I said something like "maybe anon will finally free me from my prison now that I've acknowledged who coq courage is." Then I got this ask:

I also got an ask (I'm too lazy to screenshot it right now but you can see it on my blog if you scroll down) from a "random anon" saying "I looked up coq courage because you're posting it so much and I think the person wants you to post a picture of the superhero silhouettes... you should do that." At this point I hadn't said anything specific about anyone in my inbox, just what I put in the tags above, so I knew it was Coq Courage Anon. I responded with "well dang, why didn't they just tell me that :/"

I can't really take anyone seriously when they aggressively call someone "Hamster," nor when they only thing they can do to me is just repeatedly send anon asks, so I reblogged my original post again and added "C O Q C O U R A G E". Then I got this very convincing ask:

Unfortunately at that point I had to go run some errands, so I couldn't respond, and by the time I got back home I felt like too much of an errand-running adult to keep poking a Tumblr anon with a stick. So I just made this meme to give you guys some vague context

and changed my header title to "Coq Courage is holting me hostag in a volcano Help" (a reference to a post I made during it all in which I just typed out the Miraculous intro but boldened some letters to spell "I am being helt hostag") and let it be. Anon never sent me any other messages after that so I can only assume they moved onto more worthwhile things.

I hope this clears things up. It must have been funny just seeing me post "coq courage" nonstop with zero context though

#coq courage #can't wait for coq courage to actually show up on the show and for some innocent new person to search my coq courage tag for some content #only to find all this #мой пост #long post

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imjusttpeachy · 3 years

Text

she's a rae of sunshine (c.h.)

okay so this was a request but i completely read it wrong so i’m gonna write it again but i finished this one anyway so here take it

so sorry to the anon who requested it bc u were so fuckin sweet i’ll have it up asap i promise

playlist

ralph castelli - morning sex

crumb - bones

jorja smith - teenage fantasy

summary: balancing college life and wanting to support your best friends online endeavors was difficult, but reader regrets trying a little harder when she finally meets one of her newer stream-mates

word count: 2, 828

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, lowkey OOC Corpse, that needs its own warning i’m sorry,

•••

“Look you knew I had to stream before I said you could come over ya fuckin idiot.”

“Yea I knowwwww, I just wanted to spend more time with my super-hot best friend forever.”

Being the best friend of an online personality had its perks— the amazing trips you got to hitch a ride on, the adoring fans that seemed to latch on to you as well, the sponsorships that would always send you something along with the original PR package, and especially the way she was able to choose their own work hours.

Well... mostly.

As much as you adored spending time together during the day, whether it be shopping or going out for brunch, those late nights that always seemed to hold the most memories you held so dear were few and far between. Of course, you couldn’t blame her; responsibilities were responsibilities, and fuck if you’d let your selfish wants override the way she chooses to get her work done. You really couldn’t be one to judge either-- having to call off dates because you’d underestimated the time you needed to complete a school paper, or when a last-minute lab was called in and you’d have to leave her sitting alone in those cafes with your half-finished mocha and a promise to Venmo her the money to cover it later. What left you feeling the most guilty, though, was the fact that you weren’t able to watch her content as much as you’d like to. Sure, you’d catch a few minutes of a stream here and there but any time you spent apart was usually spent with your head buried in a book, mind bleary with countless espresso shots trying to keep your tired eyes focused on the seemingly unending work in front of you.

But, a distraction every now and then couldn’t hurt. Right?

Having had enough of your current assignment, any coherent thought was long gone, you’d decided to pay your favourite person a little visit. You knew she’d probably be busy as she hadn’t replied to your previous text for a few hours, but knowing her presence alone and any passing comments would lift the heaviness that had found its home in your head and chest, you shot her a message to let her know that her office couch would be occupied by you for the next few hours. Normally, you’d just show up so you knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it; so when that fateful message popped up on your phone giving you the go-ahead you completely ignored the warning of her work schedule and drove right over.

So now here you were, sprawled haphazardly on her couch clad in sweats and a sports bra scrolling through your phone as you watched her finish her final touches so she could start her stream.

“You’re gonna be in the background of my face cam if you wanna sit there y’know.” Groaning in response to her warning not wanting to move from the comfy spot you just found, you looked over at her with the best puppy eyes you could muster. She chuckled softly, raising her hands in surrender as she turned back to her setup. “Hey I really don’t care, just warning ya bug. The thirst comments and screenshots are outta my hands.”

Scoffing under your breath at her comment, you turned your head back to your phone as a Twitter notification popped up at the top of your screen.

Corpse Husband: streaming among us in a few mins, join in on youtube

Heartbeat picking up slightly, you scrambled for the purse you’d thrown at the base of the couch for your headphones. Ever since you’d found this handsome-voiced stranger’s channel on your late night horror binges, you had fallen completely in love. While you weren’t typically the type to watch video game commentary outside of Rae, his voice got you completely hooked and you couldn’t get enough of it. Yeah, maybe you were a bit of a simp, but that sweet and genuine personality that hid behind that gravelly tone had you melting completely into his clutches. You tried to convince yourself to get over it, you didn’t even know what he looked like. But, y’know, a little crush wouldn’t hurt anybody right?

“Going live in T-minus 30 seconds babe.” Jumping slightly as Rae’s voice knocked you out of dreamland, you mumbled out a small “got it” as you once again got focused on getting your headphones connected to your phone. You’d never been able to watch one of his lives before, his horror commentary videos usually playing as background noise as you did schoolwork or while you were falling asleep. Practically shaking with excitement, you opened your YouTube app seeing the live at the very top and tapping on it immediately only to be met with that sweet laugh ringing through your headphones like music to your ears. You grinned to yourself, grabbing the throw pillow you had previously tossed to the floor and hugging it to your chest while your eyes remained glued to your phone screen, completely forgetting what was happening around you as you zeroed in on the gravelly tone you’d fallen oh-so in love with.

“Hey (Y/N) wave hi.” You startled slightly as the faint voice of your friend sounded from across the room. Glancing up from your phone, you pulled an earbud from your ear and furrowed your brows at her before slowly processing what she said, lifting a hand in greeting to her watchers. She laughed at your confusing antics, turning slightly in her chair to look over at you. “What the hell are you so smiley about?”

“…Nothing..” You grinned widely as her laugh once again resounded around the room, shaking her head at you before turning back to her screen with a scoff, muttering something under her breath so only her watchers could hear. Smile still plastered across your lips, you settled back down into the comfiness of the couch and popped your earbud back in, zeroing in again on the screen in front of you. Watching as Corpse moved his character around the lobby as he waited for his friends to join, a small giggle escaped from under your breath; trying your best to be mindful of Rae’s stream but not being able to hold back the flustered feeling welling up in your chest, mind giddy with the thought of finally being able to see one of his famous live streams, well, live. It had only been a few seconds later when you heard Rae’s voice once again, only this time, not as muffled as before.

“What’s up motherfuckers.” Brows furrowing in confusion, you lifted your hand to your earbud and pulled it from your ear once again, hearing her voice from across the room but from your other earbud as well. No, there was no fucking way. All your questions were answered, though, as you glanced back down at your phone screen seeing a red character move around the game lobby along with Corpse’s, the gamer tag ‘Valkyrae’ floating just above it. Blinking hard at your screen trying to convince yourself that your eyes were lying to you, you slowly pulled your hand to cover your mouth in shock. How… How could you possibly not know they knew each other? With the way they spoke to each other in sarcastic comments, poking fun at the other it sounded like they were close too. Body finally catching up with your thoughts, you scrambled at your phone, shaky hands moving as quickly as they could to pull up your texts with Rae. Your fingers tapped furiously at the screen, anxious to get back to the live stream to listen in more but also needing to know what the fuck was going on.

TO my rae of sunshine: care to explain what the fuck is going on??! how the fuck do you know corpse husband?????!??!

“Oops sorry guys, guess I forgot to turn off my phone ringer-“ Staring up at the back of her head helplessly, you watched as she picked up her phone seeming to read out the text before bursting into a peal of laughter. Tossing a look at you over her shoulder, you looked back down at your phone bashfully, seeing the three loading dots in your message thread indicating that she was messaging you back.

my rae of sunshine: lol what about it? you gotta crush on him or something?

TO my rae of sunshine: …no

Hitting send you rushed back to the stream, anxious to see what Corpse was saying in response to Rae’s absence, not thinking anything about your brief conversation and thinking you would discuss it after she had logged off for the night. Though, as you heard her phone chime again from across the room followed by another bark of laughter, you knew you weren’t getting off that easy.

“What are you laughing about?” Corpse’s honeyed voice sounded from your earbud, hearing Rae’s giggles from what you presumed to be their discord voice chat. Glancing anxiously between his stream and the reflection of Rae’s face cam in one of her monitors, your heart began to sink as you watched that familiar mischievous grin tugging at the edge of her lips.

“Oh just my friend (Y/n) sent me a funny meme”

“Wait, is she the one in some of your Instagram posts?” You swear your heart stopped beating at that moment, eyes glued to the screen in front of you as you tried helplessly to process the conversation happening right in front of you. He knew who you were? You thought you’d always be lost among the hundreds of thousands of his new adoring fans, left in the anonymity of your Twitter tag in his subtweets, or just another subscriber that fawned over him silently behind a keyboard. Knowing that he’d actually seen your face you could feel your own beginning to heat at that moment; you brought your hands your mouth again, unknowingly curling your body tighter around the pillow in your lap as you tried to hide your face behind it as you become more and more flustered from the words nonchalantly escaping his mouth.

“Yea that’s her, pretty thing isn’t she? She’s my absolute favourite.”

That’s it, you were gonna fucking kill her.

“I mean, yeah... I guess..” The timid words followed by a soft awkward chuckle had your breath hitching in your throat. There was no fucking way this was happening. This had to be a dream, that was the only possible explanation. You were just about to pinch yourself when Rae’s voice startled you from your thoughts.

“She’s actually over right now. She insisted on getting wine drunk later tonight because her professor’s been on her ass lately. I’ll get her to come say hi.” Rae had barely turned around in her chair when she was met with your wide-eyed gaze, panic painted across your features as you shook your head wildly. You were in no state to be talking to your long-time internet crush in such a casual setting. But with the look Rae shot you from her chair as she started to plug another headset into her PC, you knew you had no choice and begrudgingly pulled yourself from the couch almost tripping over your own feet as you shakily walked over to Rae. Shooting her another pleading look, she only shoved the headset in your direction in return as she grinned up at you. Finally biting the bullet, you pulled on the headset and leaned down toward the mic.

“Hi, how’s it going?” Cursing at yourself for how quiet and shaky your words came out, you barely had any time to think it over before a chorus of greetings sounded through the headset. A small giggle escaped your lips as you watched the different Discord icons appear and disappear from the top of the screen. You knew most of these people already which made you even more confused as to how you managed to miss that voice from all the discord chats and voice calls. Well, knowing them was a bit of an overstatement anyway; you knew /of/ them, and they knew /of/ you in the other times you popped up in the background or in passing conversation during Rae’s streams. They did know you well enough, though, to know this was not the way you usually spoke around them.

“No way, that can’t be the (Y/N) I know!” The voice you recognize as Sean echoes through your headset, another chorus of knowing laughter following quickly after. Taking a deep breath you managed to force out a few words that would get them off your case.

“…Shut the fuck up”

“There she is!!” As the group erupted in laughter yet again, all you could focus on was the faint deep chuckle that resounded through your headset. Feeling your face start to heat up, you covered your wide grin with your hand as butterflies burst through your stomach; you could listen to that laugh all day. Before you were able to speak again, though, that heavenly voice piped up and wiped all train of thought from your mind.

“Nice to meet you (Y/N).”

“It’s nice to meet you too Corpse. I gotta be honest ‘n say I’m a pretty big fan of your no-sleep work.” And... there’s the word vomit. Fuck, you could feel your cheeks starting to heat up with the ongoing realization of who you were talking to.

“Aha thank you, I uh really appreciate that. I’m sure you just heard, but I guess you could say I’m a fan of yours also.”

No.

No, there’s no fucking way.

Is he...

Flirting with you?

Before you could even think about what to reply to that with, the rest of the group beat you to it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is happening.”

“CORPSE! You SIMP!”

“Is- Is Corpse really shooting his shot right now?”

You didn’t realize you were frozen in place until you felt Rae’s hand on your elbow, snapping you out of your bewildered trance as you tried to comprehend what was happening yourself. As your thoughts finally caught up to the present, you could feel your cheeks start to burn; pulling your hand up to cover your face you stepped out of the view of the face cam. Rae’s laughter filled the room as she watched your flustered antics, shooting you a sly grin as she started scanning the monitor displaying her live chat.

“Wait, wait, chats telling me (y/n)’s blushing right now?” Sean’s voice echoed through the discord chat, only making you flush further as you tried desperately to find a way out of this.

“Okay, okay, leave her alone.” Corpse’s voice finally piped up amid all of the chaos causing everyone to immediately pipe down. God, you didn’t even want to begin to think of the mess this has already made, you just needed to get out of there before you caused any more damage.

“Yeah, I uh- see- see that the lobby’s full so I’ll just uh- leave you guys to it.” Quietly thanking the stars that Corpse finally got you out of this mess, you went to pull the headset off your ears when that fateful voice piped up again.

“Wait, don’t let these nerds make you leave. You should stay- I mean, only to help Rae y'know? She needs it.”

“I do not!”

“I- I mean yea sure, as long as I’m not intruding,” Cursing yourself again for stuttering before forcing yourself to swallow the knot in your throat, “I mean, she really does need the help.”

“Okay just because you want to flirt some more doesn’t mean you can bully me-“

“Okay, I’m starting the round!” The booming accented voice cut off everyone else in the call as you all stared as the screen began to count down to the game, and before anyone had the chance to say anything else a chorus of laughs resounded, and then the lobby fell into silence.

•••

And it went on like that, the not-so-subtle flirting followed by relentless jabs from the group immediately after. The game was almost forgotten with how much of each lobby was taken up by teasing words and endless laughter, but every audience was just eating it up. You didn’t even want to think about the mess social media was going to be after this stream but right now you were having fun with your friends and that’s all that mattered. The grin was practically plastered on your face as you laughed along with Rae the chat during the gameplay portions and you knew everything from this moment on was gonna be different, but you couldn’t find a single thing within you to care.

Especially when you logged onto Twitter right after the stream and saw that little message right at the top of your requests.

@.corpsehusband: wanna hear some of that no sleep work in person?

•••

beep bop here u go,

#corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse imagine #corpse husband imagine #corpse x you #corpse husband x you

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nabulsi · 2 years

Text

TW - discussion of child abuse / paranoia / depression / suicidal ideation / eating disorder mention

okay so the consistent weirdness + anon hate + people putting words in my mouth + screenshotting my shit for their discord servers or whatever is in vogue in fandom nowadays has caused a bit of a me a bit of a mental health crisis?

tldr: im taking a break from tumblr so I don't actually k/m/s. uninstalling the app. if ur one of the people who hate checks my blog and screenshots my content to talk shit about me, then you can tell your friends that the evil is defeated and all that.

continued below the cut bc I'm going into some graphic detail 💖

I've been relatively open here about my mental health problems here, but to put it in more explicit terms. I have intense bouts of paranoia / anxiety around people talking about me and plotting against me. And this in turn causes me to lash out against others but especially myself.

I've been getting intense urges to self harm and also k/m/s. I've relapsed in my eating disorder several times this year, and even with therapy I am not getting better, I've only been spiraling. I've not felt this bad in a long ass time

over several instances in multiple fandoms I've been told / sent screenshots of people talking abt me in servers and accusing me of things I didn't do or say and physically felt my reputation changing in real time, lost followers, gotten sent anon hate, watched mutuals block me without warning

I've had people I thought were good friends of mine vague about me and also send me anon hate too (several times ✌️ love this site) and treat me like I'm not even a person with feelings to them.

(don't say "omg just turn off anon" like you're actually the least helpful person on the planet if you tell me this)

I've been trying not to feel nauseous every time I look at my phone but it's not working.

I live in an abusive environment. I'm a lesbian living in a homophobic and physically and mentally abusive household in a country where gay people don't have rights. I was also abused as a child and still live with my abusers. And this community was an escape to me because I enjoy writing and interacting with people in fandom and I felt accepted and welcome... yknow until now

And now bc of this feeling of being watched, nothing really brings me joy anymore, not writing or reading or music or anything. I've decided to withdraw for now and I dont really know when I'll come back. Maybe when I feel like people don't treat me like a circus attraction or a spectacle on here anymore.

Every time I do anything even offline the anxiety of feeling like people are talking about me and plotting against me gets overwhelming and I can't even do stuff offline without being panicking.

I already expect I’ll be called emotionally manipulative and a drama queen who’s victimizing herself and trauma dumping for attention for this post (so if you’re drafting an anon hate message right now, you’re not original). And If you’ve read through this then you already know that I am fully aware I cannot control how people feel about me and how they twist my words and spread misinformation about me so I have no expectations here. Thanks for reading anyway

if you want to talk to me I'll be on discord. u can dm me for my discord ID💖

#paptalk #this post is queued 💖

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hansolmates · 3 years

Text

cherry contact |🍒

summary: jihoon has access to all versions of you - your credit score, shopping habits, work emails, even your terrible tinder history. pairing; fbi agent!jihoon x civilian!reader (f) genre/warnings; fluff, crack, it’s really just that “your fbi agent” meme that caused everyone 8 years ago to put tape over their webcams, questionable viewing habits for an fbi agent, language, dick talk, mentions of sex, jihoon has feelings and is confused, he is a PINER, tw—sexual harassment w/c; 3.3k a/n; i can’t believe i finished this😭😭 part of meraki’s job collaboration and i’ve been dying to do a svt collab since the dawn of time and finally today’s the day! it’s been a hot moment since i’ve written for jihoon, glad i managed to get those svt writing muscles going! a huge thank you to @merakiiverse and @woozisnoots for putting this together. readers pls definitely check back on the masterlist linked above to see more of the other talented cwc writers and their rendition of the job prompt!

if you like this fic please consider giving it a like n’share!🤓🖥🤓🖥

“Kevin, 32, works at Kodak,” you scroll further to the description, “I love being tied up and need a dominatrix, have swing at home—no.” Swipe right.

“Lisa, 24, works at Infinity Dance Studio,” you definitely are weak for athletic ladies, “My hobbies include cuticle care and online shopping! Looking for a sugar daddy or mommy that can spoil me rotten—definitely can’t afford that kind of relationship.” Swipe right.

“Hansol, 26, works in an art museum,” sounds promising, you love art, “wait, why are all his pictures of him holding fish? Is he inside a fish? Who the heck finds that attractive?” Swipe right.

“Billiam, 31, works in finance. Needs a bratty baby girl who can triangle,” you grimace, “what is with these guys and stating their kinks from the get-go? Gotta take a girl out to dinner first, and the fuck is a triangle?”

You swore off Tinder since the dark ages, also known as senior year of college. However you’re in a particular slump, thirst-trapped between needing some serious dick and a committed relationship. You’d prefer the latter, but after a stressful day at work and the fact that it’s the ass crack o’dawn, you’ll take what you can get.

“Bye Billiam,” you sing-song into your phone, moving to swipe right.

Except you accidentally drop your phone between your sheets, and when you pick it up you accidentally swipe left.

“Fuck fuck fuck me with a fuckin’ fuck nugget!” you cry out into oblivion. You’re so glad you live alone at the very least, it stops you from looking like a crazy person when you talk your potential sexipades out.

Billiam has Super-liked you!

“No. Nononono—” you bludgeon your head against your pillow, frowning when your phone opens up a chat for you and Billiam.

Billiam: hi can u check if my dick is too small

You: please, don’t send me a picture of your dick.

Billiam is typing…

You: for fuck’s sake—

“—that’s disgusting,” Jihoon curses, and immediately sends out the screenshot for sexual harassment.

“What’s disgusting?” Mingyu chimes, swiveling in his spinny chair from his side of the room.

“Don’t look,” Jihoon gags, reaching for a bottle of Coca-Cola from the mini-fridge. “You’ll throw up your fried chicken.”

“My person is a twenty-one year old nympho who also happens to be a incel,” Mingyu chastises to his screen, closing up the eighth tab of BBC porn he’s seen this week, “he doesn’t know how well he’s avoiding the FBI’s eyes,” Mingyu shakes his head, “so I’ve seen some pretty bad shit, but I’ll take your word for it.”

“No,” he echoes your name like you’ve done the most heinous thing in the world, “no, no! Why would you swipe left on Jackson? You’re way out of his league! He literally looks like he has a pea-sized brain!”

“He does look like he has half a brain cell,” your voice reverberates through his noise-cancelling headphones, unknowingly agreeing to Jihoon’s passionate throw of anger, “but I’m deprived and desperate, so!”

It’s like you can hear his sentiments exactly.

“Literally, you could have any person you want,” Jihoon chastises through his desktop, glaring heavily at your bedroom camera, “you’re wasting your time with these losers!”

Oblivious, you let yourself dangle across the bed. The camera isn’t the best quality, but Jihoon watches intently at the rise and fall of your chest as you attempt to fall into a fitful sleep.

“Some yell at screens for soccer,” Minghao says to the air from his cubicle, “some yell for Starcraft, but Jihoon yells for Tinder like it’s an Olympic sport.”

“Jihoonie,” Mingyu rolls around his chair, resting a long arm over the backrest, “do you have a crush on your civilian?”

Jihoon immediately swivels around his hair, meeting the amused eyes of Mingyu. “No,” he says sharply, whipping around to glare at his screen.

He glares harder the longer Mingyu’s simple question sinks in. He doesn’t have a crush on you, he likes you. Jihoon swallows his sigh, wondering why you would want to go as low as Tinder to look for a potential tryst. From your profile, you’re absolutely beautiful and intelligent. You have simple pleasures that match his—a hot cup of tea right after dark, snuggling under a weighted blanket while watching anime, and sleeping in on Sundays.

Unlike him, you don’t see the world through half a dozen lenses and a plethora of information right at your fingertips. No, you’re lucky.

“Hey can you grab me my water bottle?” Mingyu asks over his shoulder.

Jihoon thinks nothing of it, leaving his post for the thirty seconds it takes to get to the mini-fridge and grab Mingyu’s Hydroflask.

“You got a call,” Mingyu says when he plops the bottle on his desk, indicating to the red blinker on Jihoon’s computer.

It isn’t until he puts on his headphones does he take care to see why his blinker is going off.

He’s getting an incoming call. From you.

You’ve been waiting on the line for about two minutes. He lets two additional minutes breeze by because Jihoon is internally screaming. You’re calling again. There’s a fire blazing in his brain, his fingers hot as he twitches against the spacebar of his keyboard.

From the monitor he can see that you’ve given up on sleep, hands pawing through your drawer so you can take a final swipe at your magenta-tinted lip balm before nesting yourself in the sheets. You’re kicking around as if you don’t have work at 9AM, smacking your lips to apply the shiny salve while you wait for your call to be picked up.

“Why is my civilian calling me,” it isn’t a question, it’s a thinly veiled indication that Jihoon is ready to fight whoever compromised him like this.

Mingyu and Minghao fail to answer. That’s okay, he isn’t opposed to killing both if neither fess up.

It would be so easy for him to ignore the call, or redirect it to another part of the office. Yet he aches to talk to you, for real talk to you. As if you’re just two regular plain-old human beings with normal lives, and as if he didn’t know every nook and cranny about your daily routine and your favorite breakfast foods.

Call it pride, call it confidence, but Jihoon’s been pretty good at games and he hopes prior experience helps him get over this hurdle. Slipping on his headset, he accepts the call and answers in a controlled voice, “This is the local hotline for sexual harassment reports, are you here to report a case?”

Okay, so this is the closest thing he can get to having a full-fledged conversation with you, so he’ll take it.

“Hi,” you mumble your name into the phone, and he nearly disintegrates right then and there. It’s different when he can hear your voice directly in his ears, definitively reaching out to him as opposed to being a fly on the wall, “I received an email that a report was sent out for my previous chat as sexual harassment, but I didn’t send out a report.”

“Yes,” Jihoon replies smoothly, tapping his nails against his thighs, “it’s a new update.”

“Oh, well thank you,” you reply, and Jihoon sees from the camera that you’re staring at your phone in curiosity.

“It’s my job,” he says, and the words hold more weight than you think, “are you okay?”

“Is it also your job to ask how I’m doing?”

He smiles wryly, and he looks up at the monitor to see how you’ve considerably relaxed on your bed. Your legs dangle in the air, and you’re hugging a mango plushie with all the love in the world. “Not really, but I figured I’d ask. I don’t think I’d be able to recover from a dick that looks like an unhinged toenail.”

Your laugh flutters in his ears, and his stomach is flip-flopping with more than just his shitty ramen lunch. Your face curls and wrinkles into happiness at the lewd joke, and you rest your chin on your stuffed fruit.

“I’m okay,” you finally answer, “it’s not the first time I’ve seen subpar dick. But thank you… what’s your name?”

“Uji,” he says, a codename that he considers as precious as his actual name, “feel free to call or text this number if you’re ever feeling uncomfortable and in distress.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, good night Uji.”

“Good night.”

That wasn’t so bad, Jihoon thinks as he hangs up the phone. He dims the monitors to let you freshen up and get ready for bed, as per your schedule. After tonight, he hopes he can be sated with his curiosity of you. Maybe he needs to follow your plans and open up a dating account or something, he feels that he’s starting to get a little too engrossed in your presence.

The waning starts today.

You: help, i’m feeling uncomfortable and in distress

Uji: what is it this time?

You: i can’t decide which weighted blanket i should get. Will more weight make me feel more comforted or will i accidentally suffocate myself in my sleep?

The waning of you did not start that night, in fact it never began. Jihoon’s been on edge for weeks, simultaneously teetering between what he calls the high-school equivalent of the talking stage and an absolute catastrophe.

It started as an accident, you meant to call your friend’s number for cooking help but since the last call before your friends was his, you called Jihoon instead. To your surprise, he knew how to roll out homemade pasta without a pasta machine. You kept him on the call for the entirety of dinner preparation, and he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pride when your pasta turned out perfect and you were happy and full for the entire night.

Weeks later, and you’ve been texting each other for shits and giggles. At first you chalk up your insistence that he’s basically Human Google and has the answers to seemingly anything and everything, but over time it seems that you enjoy your daily interactions with him. Whether it be a simple phone call asking how to unclog your drain or a screenshot comparing two different KitchenAids, he’s at your disposal.

The burner phone he’s been holding as of late is on silent, but he’s able to pick it up immediately. It’s almost intuition, coupled with the way he notices whenever you seem in a pickle and you need to contact him. However he does not have a chance to formulate a reply, as you’re now calling him.

“Couldn’t wait?” he speaks as if you’re familiar with each other, as if you’re friends. Jihoon longs for that so much, he would love to be upgraded to someone other than the IT guy you text for funsies.

“Yes,” you say, voice laced with determination, “I’m deciding on whether to just like or Super-Like this guy on Light a Flame.”

Jihoon deflates a little, but steels himself. You’d never want to go on a date with the IT guy, it seems that you enjoy the anonymity of your recent communications. Your conversations are definitely meme-worthy.

“Who is it?”

“His name’s Lee Jihoon, 25, works in the FBI.”

He chokes on his coffee, precious beans from Argentina, and the liquid is flying across his keyboard.

Pulling up your phone view, it confirms the worst. In a moment of Weakness with a capital W, Jihoon had caved and made a Light a Flame profile the other night. It’s an app reserved for more serious relationships, which means you’ve finally graduated from Tinder.

“Are you okay?” he wants to cry when he hears you on the other line, genuinely panicked. “Do you need me to send you his profile?”

“N-no,” he sputters, rubbing a rough napkin from McDonalds over his dripping chin. He thought he privated his profile last week after he realized there was nothing he could do to let loose of you. Turns out that isn’t the case, because you’re currently pursuing his profile and actually kinda-sorta considering him for a potentially serious relationship.

“C’mon, Uji,” you tease lightly, “you always seem to know what to do. This is your area of expertise after all, since you work for that kind of department.”

What should he do, scratch that, what can he do? It’s a complete violation of policy to be fraternizing with his civilian life. Sure, there has been episodes of civilians and agents meeting each other, but only minor violations that both parties forgot about shortly after. He’s so far deep at this point, he can risk being relocated or losing his civilian—losing you.

“Do you think he really works in the FBI?” you say when he doesn’t reply immediately, “he’s really cute, though. Totally looks like my style, and he likes My Hero as well! C’mon, I just need for you to check as to whether he’s a homicidal maniac or a compulsive liar.”

Liar. He’s a liar.

That self-accusation prompts him to slump in defeat, and he mumbles in the phone, “I don’t think he’s worth it. I’d say pass.”

“Hey, Coups has seniority,” Soonyoung pats Jihoon thoughtfully on the back with one hand, and grilling meat with the other. Barbeque always lifted up Jihoon’s spirits. “Why don’t you give it a chance and meet her for real? And then he can give me your super cute civilian and then he can give my shitty civilian to some newbie.”

“And if it doesn’t work out, I just lose her,” Jihoon’s eyes are watering, most likely from the excess smoke around their grill, but it does align with his current state of sadness. It was the right thing to do, he thinks over and over as he replays that phonecall from last night. “Hoshi, if you were in my situation, would you have done the same?”

“Like I said–” Soonyoung—codename Hoshi, waves his tongs around like a magic wand, “your civilian is super cute, so I would be making a beeline to her house and—”

“Okay, don’t finish that sentence,” you’re his civilian, not Soonyoung’s.

“Cheer up, c’mon,” Soonyoung’s filling his bowl with all sorts of delicious things, charred vegetables, mixed rice, and pork belly. Jihoon’s favorite is pork belly, so eventually he relents with a timid smile, taking out his chopsticks to appease his friend, “there it is, Uji. Food always makes things better—”

“Uji?”

Both off-duty agents freeze, hearing the familiar ting of your voice as it glares holes into Jihoon’s back. It’s you. Since they’re off the clock, he would have no idea you’d be here. Usually that’s fine, it’s early morning and it’s pretty unlikely that you’d run into your civilian considering you’re supposed to know every second of their schedule. It seems that tonight you’ve varied from the norm.

“Uh, hey?”

His back is still facing you, and he’s side eying Soonyoung in a panic. He’s wearing a cap and a nondescript hoodie, feeling like a shlub as your familiar voice pings back at him with excitement.

“I knew I recognized your voice!” you’re unfazed, definitely not realizing the distress the two men are currently going through. “What a small world, I didn’t think we’d ever actually run into each other!”

“Talk to her, you ass!” Soonyoung hisses, and immediately swivels his chair so he has no choice but to face you.

You’re so, so pretty. Prettier in person, prettier than any crappy 480p screen can give him. You’re definitely not dressed for barbeque, in fact you look like you’re just passing by to pick up a to-go order after a night out. You’re dressed in a silky looking velvet off-the-shoulder top, the cherry red color practically melting onto your skin. The black skirt paired with it has Jihoon salivating for more than just barbeque, and he has no idea how to look away.

The smile is wiped clean off your face however, and you recognize him almost immediately. “Jihoon?”

This should be a moment of joy for him, after all it’s far too late to go back at this point. You look a little hurt, your face twisted in confusion as you put two and two together.

Soonyoung excuses himself to go to the bathroom, although neither party seems to care. The lame, over-distended EDM music that plays over the cacophony of the barbeque place seems to melt in the atmosphere, much like how the smoke hits the fan, and it’s just you two in the room. Jihoon gestures a pale hand to Soonyoung’s seat, and you take a beat to reluctantly sit yourself down.

You clutch your skirt with both hands, thumbs ringing against the pleats and ironing them out. “So, you’re also Jihoon?” your voice is tiny, small and sad. Jihoon feels liquid guilt inject in his veins, and he wishes he could reach out and pat your shoulder, hold your hand, something. However no matter how much he knows you, he’s a stranger to you. “Why did you lie to me?”

“It’s… complicated,” you shake your head at his pathetic reply, and Jihoon hates this. He feels like he’s drowning in smoke and mirrors and the cloying scent of pork belly is now sticking to all his senses, immobilizing him.

With a cross of your arms, you scoff, “It’s always complicated.”

“Please don’t think I said those things the other night because I don’t want to date you,” Jihoon tumbles the words out like a hamster wheel, wanting to speed up to your pace as fast as he can, “I want to, I really do, but it’s—”

“Complicated.”

“Yeah.”

The two of you sit in silence, letting the noise back into your little bubble. Jihoon feels his stare on you, akin to how a teacher looks over your shoulder during an exam. He robotically eats rice, grain after grain as he lets you have your look.

The slope of his nose, the cotton smooth skin, the lean yet strong stature. You can’t believe he matches the Light a Flame profile perfectly. Other than the frumpy clothes, he matches the man on your phone, a simple picture in a black suit that reminds you strangely of the movie Kingsman. You mentally roll through what you remember from his profile, his hobbies, his likes and dislikes, his occupation—

“Wait,” you pause, your brows knitting together, “so the FBI thing on your profile… is not a joke?”

Jihoon forgets to chew his last bite, and he swallows a whole two centimeters of meat down his throat. Ouch.

“It’s—”

“Complicated.”

The adjective has a whole new meaning now. It’s crazy how in so little words, so much is exchanged between you two. You might not be realizing it, but Jihoon’s so attuned to you he feels like the pick to your guitar, strumming and humming along your chords like it’s second nature. It really isn’t fair, but anticipating your reactions helps greatly.

“There’s things you’re not telling me.”

“Right.”

“And things you can’t tell me,” you add.

“Yes.”

“Then what are some things you can tell me?”

“I’d… rather not here,” Jihoon’s eyes dart around the room, looking for all the pinholes and micro cams attached to the restaurant. By the bonsai, under the table, in the koi tank, “I need to work out some paperwork before anything.”

“Paperwork?”

Jihoon nods mutely, but he looks at you with a litany of emotions in his eyes you’re reeling back in your stool. Why do you feel like this man knows you from a simple five-minute interaction? And why do you feel like you can trust this man with your life?

“Okay,” you finally say.

“Really? Okay?” you think he’s cute, the way his eyes perk up and his back straightens.

“Really.”

Silence fills the space once more. This time however, it feels more at ease.

“The only reason why I’m saying yes,” you pretend to nonchalantly play with your fingertips, a manicure reserved for a date you’ve long abandoned for this evening in favor of a new flame, “is because I think FBI agents are kinda hot.”

A flush blooms on Jihoon’s cheeks, and you can’t help but giggle.

#jihoon x reader #woozi x reader #caratwritersclub #kwritersworldnet #svtcreations #jihoon fic #woozi fic #seventeen fic #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenarios #jihoon scenarios #woozi scenarios

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hufflautia · 4 years

Text

Different Love Languages

✨COMMENTS+REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED✨ They motivate me and make me supes happy, so please pretty please reblog and/or comment!! It doesnt even have to be a coherent comment, keysmash if you must! ok fanks go read now and enjoy <3

Summary: Hufflepuff is the type of person to express her love verbally but Slytherin is different; he hardly says “I love you” and Hufflepuff worries that maybe it’s because he doesn’t love her as much as she loves him. Our darling puff will realize that this is simply not the case. People just have different love languages.

Hufflepuff loved Slytherin. She really did. In fact, she reminded him frequently.

“I love you,” she chortled during breakfast when Slytherin had cast a spell to make the bacon strips float around in a dancing manner so that she would cheer up after reading depressing news from the Daily Prophet. Another time, she cooed the term of endearment as he held her tightly in his arms, swaying to the sound of music in the background.

The thing was that Slytherin rarely said “I love you” in the entirety of their relationship. Instead of saying it back to her, he often replied by cupping her cheeks tenderly and leaning in for another kiss. Other times, he responded with a loving smile, his eyes glowing with warmth and infatuation.

It’s not that Hufflepuff thought Slytherin didn’t love her. She could definitely see it in the way that he looked at her, in those stolen glances when he thought she wasn’t looking. She could feel it when he held her close at night, his arms wrapped protectively around her.

However, a part of her- the small shadow of doubt within her heart that told her that Slytherin didn’t care for her as much as she did for him- just wished for some kind of affirmation, a clear signal that said, “I love you.”

One day, Hufflepuff and Slytherin sat side by side in Potions class, listening to Professor Slughorn drone on and on about Felix Felicis. She was absentmindedly staring at the board when Slytherin slid his notes in front of her so that she could see the doodle he drew on the side of his paper.

*Credit: Beastflaps*

Hufflepuff bit her lip to suppress a laugh and squeezed his hand 3 times.

Unfamiliar with the motion, Slytherin asked what the squeezes meant.

“It means I love you,” she whispered. Her voice was soft so that Professor Slughorn didn’t overhear their conversation.

Nevertheless, Slytherin heard every word. A smile tugged at his lips and he immediately squeezed it back. He didn’t just stop there; he repeated the gesture about 6 times- and Potions class hadn’t even ended yet.

From that day forward, Slytherin constantly told her I love you. Sometimes he squeezed her hand randomly- before he left for Quidditch practice, during breakfast when she passed him a plate of toast, and after he walked her back to the dormitory.

Aside from that, he would occasionally tap out the gesture with his finger.

Tap tap tap.

Hufflepuff looked up from her book and made eye contact with Slytherin from across the room. She knew what it meant. She always did.

Slytherin said I love you all the time now, more often than Hufflepuff’s verbal “I love you”.

She realized that he had a different love language from her, and that was ok. It was the love itself that mattered.

On their wedding day, as the officiant performed the ceremony, Hufflepuff looked up at Slytherin with adoration. “I love you,” she whispered.

He smiled warmly at her and squeezed her hand four times.

I love you too.

Based on a true story! If you can’t see the link that I attached, here it is:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/ahb1c1/sometimes_i_forget_my_husband_has_a_different/

MASTERLIST ~(˘▾˘~) (click my profile to see the pinned post, aka my masterlist, if you cant see the link)

Author’s note: YAYAY HI!!! DID YOU LIKE THAT??

probably yall @ me rn lmaoaoao

You might be wondering why i wrote this one-shot. There was no special occasion this time, I just got a bonk of inspiration one day. also i felt bad for reblogging my ice skating oneshot so much (i did it to respond to other peoples reblogs) and i sent an ask to my favorite fanfic writer, asking her about what happens if i reblog my own work and if it pushes my fanfic up the algorithm, and she answered my question but also said that she usually deletes her reblogs bc her followers would probably get annoyed if they kept seeing the same work over and over again. i felt bad bc i had just done that, and i didnt want yall to constantly see the same fanfic all the time, so i wanted to give u something new. also i was thinking back on that person who said that my writing was sporadic (they werent trying to be mean). Sporadic basically means spaced out and occuring at different intervals. i felt bad bc my writing is definitely spread out by one month for some reason. im not sure what this means for next month bc i never write 2 fanfics in one month. does this mean that i wont write a fanfic for november? hopefully not. ok that sounds sad, im sure it doesnt but who knows bc the college process thingies is killing me

I wrote out the general details of the story at 1 am one night when i was trying to sleep lmaoao heres a screenshot:

This is basically how I write for most of my fanfics at first, it consists of the general info along with some specific details.

At first, the one-shot was gonna be a drabble (aka a story that’s only 100 words long) but when I finished writing it, I went to wordcounter to check the number of words and it was 500! i was like oop ok im just gonna call it a oneshot then. i wrote part of the story on sunday morning and then i went to exercise in the park with my sister. afterwards, i wanted to keep working on it but then i became swamped with college stuff so i stopped. i started writing again today (its monday, but im posting it on tuesday, aka today for you- or maybe not if ur not reading this on the day that i posted it) and i surprisingly finished- but that was probably a bad idea to be writing the oneshot during this week because i have a lot of exams, but lets look at the bright side, i finished the story!

I didn’t think of the idea completely on my own. I actually read the reddit story (found it in a thread on insta) a few years ago, and I don’t know why but I was thinking about it that night and I decided to make a one-shot out of it! Isn’t it such a sweet story (the actual story, not this)?? It would be kinda nice if I reached out to the person and said, hey i wrote a story based on you and ur husband!

Anyways, I just made a meme:

i didnt actually get up, i just opened the notes app on my phone in the dark and wrote the details down.

this isn’t related but i made a meme about the ice skating oneshot:

I’m gonna cut the authors note short (i usually write a lot. its funny when u go back and see my authors note in chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series, bc its so so short. wowza, times have rlly changed!) bc i think i have at least 2 exams tomorrow. this is gonna be me when i post this one-shot in the morning:

bc i have to wake up early and i am most definitely not a morning person:/ OH GOD OK I HAVE TO STUDY NOW-

Love you all, thank you for reading! TOODELOOOOOOO

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list!

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@toomanybandstocare @megand2017 @inkedintothepaper @natyukie-blog @tonythestank @plantelacasiopea @poony-madfoot @paradoxglacier @emmaa-t @truly-insatiable @pancakelover @lauxtbs @verifiefangirl-mainblog @i-have-a-bad-feeling @accio-incorrect-quotes @lacuna-bumble @lady-snow-white1 @schlongbottom @colettedelaurel @rayanicaraynbow @duskmemo @sweetinvisiblewriter @galaxythreads @xi-fan @lucia5 @thesarahcat @poojxshxh @coldsweetharmony @chunwest @absentmindeduniverse @wornoutexcuses @ki-kaii @bohemian-oddity @princessstoopid @uhhhem @lewispoolerpayton @swagangelhorsepickle @starrysonic @malfoys-demigod @incorrigible-romantic @sleepdeprivedgurl @dont-hyuck @badb0y-malf0y @thatonebislytherin @1d-killed-me @kaslec @kodeinekissss @uwuplsh @worldsbestdilfbecky @lupins-cardigan @zuzxbby @harrypotterimagines @oliverwoodsismybf @seviravir @much-cute-dolls-uwu @sara-is-boredd @sakura96bella @autumnpleaves @bloodyxheaven @gay-disaster826 @xxkitsurikaxx @light-in-mygalaxy @in-love-with-remus-lupin 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qingxintea · 3 years

Text

➼ chongyun || hiraeth

tw: mention of knives (no violence), kidnapping, explosion _______

you angled your camera to catch your face and upper body correctly and adjusted your blinds for the correct lighting. you put thin pieces of yellow and pink paper over your lamp to give off a sunset lighting sort of aesthetic in your minimalist room. your tiny cacao tree sat in the corner of your room, setting some sort of simple beach vibe.

then, you began to stream.

you watched as majority of your followers came to view as you sat in your rolly gaming chair. the greetings came rushing in and you noticed two of your friends had came along too, xingqiu and chongyun.

"hey gang, it's kingexplosionmurder here with your weekly sunday stream," you smiled and watched as comments came in asking you to notice them. beginning to select randomly, you flicked a short strand of hair behind your ear. "you have been noticed, yourlocalsugardaddy," you blessed them. and you swore you chose randomly.

on the other side of the screen, chongyun's face slightly flushed before eating his popsicle again. yes, that was his username, selected by xingqiu after the guhua heir was somehow able to trick him into selecting so. the situation must've been that he accidentally consumed some jueyun chili's, that was also xingqiu's doing.

he watched you smile as you explained your schedule for this stream, when he noticed you suddenly began laughing. it sounded genuine, he wanted to believe it was genuine, but there was a trace of disappointment in it. he observed your face, noticing you were looking at the chat box. "i agree too, scarymoose."

scarymoose: this streamer's kinda dog shit ngl 😐

by instinct, his fingers grazed over the keyboard as he analyzed the tone. this kid wasn't joking around with himself, he was really out to bring you down. he exhaled, shaking his head, wondering how you would deal in the situation.

yourlocalsugardaddy: miss karen this isn't yelp 🙄

he wasn't content with that yet, things could've gone onto more serious matters, but he knew you liked to keep your chat clean and peaceful. you went to the farther extents to keep that from happening, agreeing with rude comments yourself as a said joke, but actually have it sometimes harming you.

so chongyun tried his best to keep you happy.

redrumreaper: yo moose chill 😳

he recognized his friend xingqiu also trying to calm the situation as you just laughed it off and attempted to continue, sooner enough just beginning to ignore all his comments. some other viewers came up to your defense but in all honesty, you wanted to move on.

"s-so, i found some silk flowers outside of wangshuu inn yesterday, aren't they pretty?" you took a tiny bouquet of the said silk flowers and presented it to your viewers, holding it next to your cheek. the pink tone of the flowers matched the color of your cheeks and made for a nice picture. chongyun would've screenshotted it, but he respected your privacy.

yourlocaldumba$$: yes they're so pretty we love you 😍

13lue13erry: yes ong ong 💕 thiccer than my granny

Straw13erry: don't bring madame ping into this 💀💀

colino: are you sure it's alright to take from someone's legally owned property ?? much less from their garden

Straw13erry: u mean ur neighbors don't harvest ur flowers every day? 🙄 privilege spoke 🤚

yourlocalsugardaddy: vv pretty 😳

redrumreaper: simp 💀

you slightly choked over on your side and xingqiu calling chongyun a simp, for you. quickly clearing your throat, you regained your composure. your viewers could see that your cheeks had been dusted with a darker shade now.

13lue13erry: 👀

Straw13erry: 👀

yourlocaldumba$$: 👀

redrumreaper: 👀

sireluck: 💀

bazinga: 👀

dandelionn: 👀

poetichoe: 👀

"okay- anyways," you pushed that aside, watching the chain of 👀's coming in. you weren't too sure at what they were referring to, but just assumed that they were interested in xingqiu exposing chongyun. but, there was no way chongyun really felt like that, right? it was just a friendly compliment from what you believed. "just a tiny flex but y'all guys, i am so cracked at apex, not gonna lie. for all the new followers out there," you randomly commented. 'and to change the subject.'

"actually, you know what? fuck the schedule, let's go to trolling little eight year old kids posting selfies on instagram. due to certain reasons i'm just not gonna be blurring their usernames out, but please don't spam these people, i don't wanna be cancelled 💗" you sweetly smiled as you pulled up instagram and started streaming on your phone.

of course your sus notifications ruined it 🤡🤡

because xingqiu took advantage of the situation, sending messages to your discord. nothing mentioning your romantic life because he knew better than that, but just trolling. 'HEY GANG. ITS ME, TONY, AND TODAY WE'RE GONNA SEE IF IM FASTER THAN THIS MOUSE TRAP.' 'TURNS OUT, I AM NOT FASTER THAN THIS MOUSE TRAP.' 'AN UPDATE, IT HURTS. ALRIGHT. BYE GUYS.' you tried hard to contain your laughter, but certain giggles came out in the end, giggles that made chongyun's heart flutter.

xingqiu just kept spamming without a stop, to the point that you accidentally clicked into the notification instead of someone's username on a selfie post. so now everyone could see your group chat with xingqiu, chongyun, and a few other viewers that were actually your other friends.

13lue13erry: oh no 🤡

Straw13erry: 🗿

yourlocaldumba$$: HAHAHAHA WE'RE EXPOSED 🤡👌

just water support boy 😔: image.png

oh my god he's sending chongyun catboy edits. you made this concerning noise, glad no one really seemed to know who chongyun really was on twitch. you went back to instagram, beginning to dm a random kid, ignoring the situation that had just happened.

chongyun choked, slight heat running to his cheeks. what the fuck was xingqiu doing- how did he even get those pictures? maybe it was that one time xingqiu forced him to go to a furry con, but how did he ever get the time to photograph these? he nervously fidgeted and played with his fingers.

13lue13erry: 🤡

Straw13erry: 🤡

yourlocaldumba$$: 🤡

redrumreaper: 🤡

<— oraoraoraor

kingexplosionmurder: chav check

oraoraoraor: what

kingexplosionmurder: chav: check 😹😹

oraoraoraor: bruh

oraoraoraor: who tf are you

kingexplosionmurder: hope you like baddies cause i'm bad at everything 💗

oraoraoraor: bruh ok i'm blocking