#also i know what the last one aimed at. and i could explain it. but i dont see why i should justify myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loving-barnes · 4 months

Text

LOGAN HOWLETT - 'HELL'

A/N: And here I am, still writing and I am here for it. I am actually trying a lot here.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

Warning: mentions of blood and torture

Summary: Y/N shares how she escaped 'hell'.

Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story includes mentions of abuse.

Words: 4300+

Important note: Again, Logan is a tall MF, because they fucked up in the movies. Also, Hugh Jackman!Wolverine.

A TOUCH OF HOPE MASTERLIST | Chapter One

LOGAN HOWLETT - 'HELL'

Y/N was lying on the grass, enjoying the warm sunlight rays. Her right hand was in the air as she tried to make the force come out in a ball-shaped form. She finally made some progress.

Charles helped her train in his office. He aimed to teach her to make a protective shield around another person. Two weeks in, she made some progress. But the goal was still far away. On the other hand, she did learn something new.

The ball-shaped forcefields were bewitching. Y/N could admire her power up close. It was a thin blue layer of radiant energy with a hint of silver sparkles. Beautiful. She hoped to get better and become useful. Now, she had the chance after all those years. It brought tears to her eyes for many reasons.

If only I could get you out.

The nightmares appeared every night. They changed, playing twisted games in her sleep. It was hard to close her eyes. Her past, her present, it all got mixed. They were suffocating her. And his face kept coming back to her.

“How’s it going with her training?” Hank asked the Professor. He was standing at the window, watching Y/N in the distance from the office.

Some of the teachers, the X-Men, were present, discussing the newest addition. The last one who entered the conversation was Logan, smoking his cigar. One look from the Professor, and he extinguished it against his palm. He gritted his teeth when he felt the burning sensation on his palm.

“She’s making progress,” said Charles with a smile. “We still have a lot of work to do.”

Storm walked to a window, watching the kids enjoy the sunny afternoon outside. And there, far away, she noticed Y/N practising her little forcefields. “Her ability is convenient, powerful. She would be great on missions.”

“That is the plan. I want Y/N to be able to protect other people, too. She can create the forcefield around herself and in smaller forms. It might take us more time before she reaches her goal,” said Charles.

“I don’t like her,” Scott confessed to them. “There’s something off about her.” Everyone’s eyes were on him.

“What, that she doesn’t want to let anyone in because she doesn’t trust easily?” Storm glared at her friend.

“She’s not telling us something.”

“Would you tell your life story to a group of strangers you know for two weeks?” Kitty added. “If there is something off about her, the Professor would tell us.”

Charles sighed and turned to his friends. “There is something I need you all to know.”

“He, there it is,” Scott grinned.

That single sentence got everyone’s attention. Charles wheeled into the middle of the room, eyes looking at every person present. Logan frowned. Storm was intrigued, and others kept their faces neutral.

“Years ago, when I had been searching for more mutants, I managed to find Y/N. At that time, she was a teen who happened to discover her mutation. The plan was to bring her here. I wanted to send Hank to get her.”

“Why didn’t you?” Logan asked.

The Professor sighed. “She kept slipping off.”

“What do you mean?” Jean asked, confused.

“When I wanted to find her location, she was nowhere to be found. Not as a mutant or a human,” Charles explained. “I thought she died. And then, months later, I stumbled upon her again. As I tried to reach her, she slipped again.”

“Oh, right,” Hank said. “I remember you thought there was something wrong with Cerebro.”

“The Cerebro was fine. Until this day, I have no idea how it kept happening.”

“So, she’s a telepath?” Bobby asked.

Charles shook his head. “There was a time when I believed she was. It would make perfect sense. Only strong telepaths can shut their minds. That would explain why I couldn’t reach her.”

“So, when you saw her the first time since Logan brought her, you knew who she was. You didn’t need to read her mind?” Storm chimed in. Her eyes kept staring at the Professor.

“That is true. However,” Charles turned to face Logan. “The fact that you found her was a mere coincidence. You two happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

He didn’t comment on it, only shook his head in disbelief. “Is that all, Charles? Or is there more to this story?” He suspected that the Professor wasn’t telling them the whole truth.

“This is all you need to know, now.”

Groans echoed around the office. That answer didn’t bring enough satisfaction. What was he not telling them? Logan was ready to push his buttons. He needed to know more. Everyone deserved the truth. With a sigh, he stood back. “Why so mysterious?”

“I will tell you more once I have more answers,” said Charles calmly. “For now, all we need to do is to help her train. She wants to be better. She suffered enough, and she wants to turn her life upside down.”

“She asked you not to read her mind,” Jean raised a brow.

“I don’t need to read her mind. We talk a lot when I teach her. I promised not to look in. When I met her, it all came screaming at me. All you need to know is I trust her.”

Scott scoffed and shook his head in disbelief. “That’s it?”

The meeting ended shortly after that. Everyone dispersed around the school. Logan’s legs brought him outside, his eyes quickly finding the young woman far away, resting on the grass.

For the last two weeks, he didn’t talk to her much or see her for that matter. He observed from afar. Logan noticed how she started to open up to some of his friends. She tried to get to know each member of the school. Storm, Kitty and Rogue spent most of their time with her. With them, she was able to laugh freely and smile. Damn, that smile. He wanted to see it more.

He frowned. Why did he think that?

He saved her ass, and now she felt like a magnet. He tried to resist, but it was hard. Would it be that bad to know her more? He brought her here, where he promised she’d be safe. And from what he had learnt, Charles knew about her existence for a long time.

Sighing, he moved forward. He took out the cigar that he hadn’t finished and smoked on his way to her. His eyes lingered on her body, eyeing her from head to toe. Compared to their first unexpected meeting, she seemed relaxed and happy. The bruises were gone. Only faint scratch marks remained.

Her hand was still in the air, creating small forcefields. The need to talk to her got stronger. As if she were a water that would extinguish Logan’s thirst. Fuck, he wanted to know her more.

“Hey, kid. How’s the trainin’ going?” he asked when he was close enough for her to hear him.

Y/N turned her head to the side, eyes locking with his. “It’s fine, I guess,” she said with a fleeting smile. “I am trying to figure out how to make a forcefield around another person,” she explained.

“Any luck?” he leaned against the nearest tree. He held the cigar with his fingers.

“No,” she sat up. “I got better at creating it in the shape of a ball. It still does glitch. But it’s a step forward. If only I knew how to project it around another person.”

“It cannot be that hard,” he raised a brow. “It looks so easy.”

She laughed at that. “If only. It requires a lot of concentration and energy. I can protect a person if they are next to me. I can wrap us into the forcefield. That’s about it.”

A gentle smile appeared on Logan’s face. “Like you did when I took you out of that dive bar.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh yeah,” she nodded. “I forgot about that. It was wild. I remember fragments of that day. Shit, the last days before you brought me here are kind of hazy.” She stood up from the grass and wiped off her lower back and ass.

Logan’s eyes followed her every move. “Wanna walk with me?” the question was out before he could think about it. Even he was surprised he had asked that.

“Sure,” she nodded. “I wanted to explore the estate a little more.”

Side by side, they walked away from the school and the noise. The estate reminded her of a gigantic park filled with trees, surrounded by nature and peace. She noticed there were well-trodden pathways. The students must have walked around the place many times.

“How did you get to that bar anyway?” he had to ask.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I kept walking until my feet brought me there. All I knew was to get as far away as possible.”

He took a deep breath. “What happened to you?”

Y/N bit her lower lip and looked somewhere away. “Um,” she hesitated. Was it wise to share it already? “I escaped a lab. I was a guinea pig for five years,” she admitted.

“What?” It was hard to believe what she said. Why was he so surprised? He had his suspicion about this before.

“Yeah,” her eyes were focused on the ground, ashamed of the story. “I’m surprised they didn’t kill me. Five years to keep a mutant for an experiment is a long time. Before you ask, I have no idea how I managed to survive the torture and imprisonment for that long. Those years are a blur.”

“Shit,” he sighed. “Sounds like a hell of a life.”

Y/N lifted her head, scanning Logan’s face. “The Professor didn’t say anything to you?” When he shook his head, she was impressed. “And here I thought you would already know about everything.”

“It’s your story to tell, Y/N. It’s up to you if you want to share it with us,” said Logan.

Out of nowhere, she started to giggle. Logan didn’t understand what was funny. “You know, you don’t seem that kind of a guy who does this a lot. But it’s nice.”

“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes. He took another drag of the cigar. And Y/N laughed a little more. “When did you discover your mutation?”

The smile disappeared. “I was around fifteen when it happened,” Y/N replied. “And it started a life full of misery and darkness.” One of her hands reached for a tree, mapping its texture with her fingertips. After all those years locked up in a lab, she never thought she would feel nature under her hands again.

Logan didn’t question further. He noticed it was a heavy topic for her. She wasn’t ready to give him the details. Somehow, Logan felt he was the only person, except Charles, who got information about her past.

“What is your mutation?” It was her turn to ask questions. She wanted to know more about Logan. Even though his rough exterior told the story of a withdrawn, grumpy man, he had the softest eyes. Were they green? They seemed like it.

They stopped walking. Logan turned to her and brought his hand to his chest. When he closed it, three metal blades slid out of his skin.

Y/N’s mouth opened. “Shit,” she cursed. “Does it hurt?”

“Every time. I’m used to it by now,” Logan said. “They are made of adamantium.”

“Adamantium?”

“One of the strongest metals on Earth.”

Her fingers reached to the claws. Logan’s eyes followed her moves. She wanted to touch them. Before she could, she put her hand away. “Sorry, it’s just fascinating.”

Logan’s heart skipped a beat. “Well, that’s a first,” he commented. “No one said anything like that before.”

“I’m sorry,” she took a step back. “I didn’t want to overstep. Never had much opportunity to admire other mutations.”

“It’s fine.” The claws retracted into his skin. Y/N’s eyes noticed the wounds instantly close and disappear. Her hands quickly reached for his hand, fingers caressing the spots where the lesions would be.

Logan couldn’t believe what he had witnessed. It’s been a while since he felt such a gentle touch on his skin. Her hands were soft and delicate. He cleared his throat. “I heal quickly. In a matter of seconds,” he explained before she could ask.

Her eyes lingered on his hand until she realised what she was doing. “Oh, sorry,” she let him go and hid her hands behind her back. “That was rude. I am so sorry.”

She made him feel things he hadn’t experienced in a long time. It made him flustered. “That’s okay, kid.”

The intense moment ended, and they moved forward. Y/N’s face was burning hot, embarrassed by what she did. Her mind focused on the trees and the pleasant weather around them. The air was warm even though it was autumn. The leaves were sparkling with a range of colours, coming from green to yellow. Some of them were red. It was her favourite season of the year.

“I’ve heard you save mutant children,” she changed the topic as they approached the school grounds.

“Charles finds them, and some of us would collect them,” he explained. “I was on a mission to get a child that needed our help. Unfortunately, it was a failure. The facility was a trap. I was glad I got out. Later that night, I stumbled upon you.”

Y/N pressed a hand against her chest. “What facility?”

“The one hidden in Salem,” he replied. “Why?”

Y/N felt as if her soul left her body. All colour drained from her face. “Oh god,” she brushed her fingers into her hair. “It’s my fault,” and then she hid her face in her palms.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he turned his body to her. “What are you sayin’ there, kid?”

It took her three deep breaths to look him in the eye. He wasn’t angry. It looked like he was concerned. “I was locked there, in the lab, for some time. I escaped a few days before we met.” Panic bubbled inside of her. “I know who you were looking for. I know the kid.”

That night, that moment, it all came rushing back. It was like a movie, reflecting in front of her eyes. She felt it all: the pain, the horror happening in front of her eyes. She knew the child. He helped her escape. And she couldn’t take him with her. His screams echoed inside her mind.

Logan gripped her shoulders. “Y/N, look at me.” He said her name for the first time. That did the trick, and she looked up, eyes meeting his. “There you go. Take a deep breath.” He could see she was listening.

“I have to tell you what happened,” she whispered. “You need to know. It’s my fault you went to a trap.”

Logan brought her inside the school. His hands rested on her shoulders as he walked with her through the hallway. When something happened, all the teachers would gather around immediately. Professor X would call them to his office.

He helped Y/N take a seat on an armchair. A bottle of water appeared in front of her. It was levitating in the air. It was Jean’s doing.

“What’s going on?” Hank was the last one coming inside, closing the door behind him. He had a white lab coat on him, and his glasses were on the tip of his nose.

“This better be good,” Scott scoffed. His hands were wrapped around Jean’s shoulders, holding her close.

“Stop being a dick, dude,” Remy scowled. “Keep your mind shut.”

Y/N glared at Scott. He was the only person who didn’t sit right with her. That’s why, most of the time, she would ignore him. Luckily, he was sweet to Jean.

She grabbed the floating water bottle and took a sip. “Logan told me about the failed mission,” Y/N started to talk. Her voice was low and timid. “He told me he went there to get out a child. He went to a facility that was in Salem - the same place where they held me.”

Charles tilted his head, listening carefully. His face remained neutral. No one could read what he thought.

“I know the kid,” she told them. “His whole body can stretch as he wishes.”

“Elasticity,” Hank stated.

“How did you escape?” Kitty’s voice interrupted the stream of Y/N’s thoughts.

“There were five of us locked in that lab. We were in cells designed to suppress our mutations. It made sure we wouldn’t harm anyone or try to escape. That changed when they brought in JJ.”

“JJ?” Logan questioned that name.

“Jerome Junior,” she explained. “For an eleven-year-old, he was cunning. Because he was the youngest, he had the most energy. The rest of us were barely holding on.

“Never underestimate a child. That’s the greatest advice I’ve learnt in there. I don’t know what happened or how he did it, but the doors to our cells opened. Somehow, he was able to get us out. That’s when hell on Earth started. To get out, we destroyed the place.”

Y/N could feel the smell of chemicals and fire around her. As if she was back there, trying to get out of prison.

The pain in her body was excruciating. After all those years of experiments and torture, she was almost free.

There were bodies on the floor - killed guards and scientists as well as two other mutants who shared the hell with her. They got them before she could put a forcefield out to protect them. So much blood was on her hands and face. When she looked down, there were red puddles. The smell was nauseating.

“Let’s go,” one of the mutants shouted. The man was bleeding from his thigh and arm.

“Where’s JJ?” Y/N asked, looking for the kid. She lost him during the fight. “I’m not leaving him here.”

“We don’t have time to get the kid. They’ll kill us if we don’t leave!”

She was turning around, trying to find a way to get to him. “I said I am not leaving!”

“Fuck this, I’m out,” said the mutant and fled the scene without anyone else.

Limping, Y/N ran out of the destroyed lab and walked through the hallways until she found a swarm of guards holding the child. Guns pressed against the boy’s head as they put a collar on his neck. It beeped once, and a tiny light turned green.

JJ’s eyes found Y/N standing on the other side of the room. He did one last thing before they packed him into a truck - he shook his head. It was a sign for her to leave. Her vision blurred as tears hit her eyes. The boy got them out, and she couldn’t save him.

“I tried to get him, save him, but they took him away,” her voice broke. She let the tears fall. “He was eleven, for fuck’s sake. He somehow got us out. I wanted to do the same thing for him, and I couldn’t.”

“How do you know it was him?” Jean asked.

Y/N thought back, trying to get to the point when she realised he opened the cells. “I remember him stretching his fingers. He must have found a trigger on the table that opened the doors.”

Ororo reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly. “You did your best. You tried.”

“It’s not enough,” she shook her head. “Even now, I feel like a traitor.” The story was not over. “When I left the building, I wandered for a few days,” she continued. “I got some old clothes and hid everywhere - in the woods, old buildings. Without energy, I happened to injure myself more. I even took a fall before I found the dive bar. My body was in pain, my head a mess, and I don’t remember much when Logan got me out.”

Silence spread around them. They all let the information sink in.

“When I came to the facility,” Logan started to talk. The attention was on him. “Many soldiers were guarding the place like their own eyes. They were ready to kill anyone who approached the building. I managed to get in but never got far away,” said Logan. “The place was a mess. As if a bomb exploded inside.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Kitty spoke up. “Why would they keep the place highly secured if it got damaged and took the child away? Think about it. Maybe they’ll use it as a cover-up. No one would think that the lab was still active.”

“Kitty’s right,” said Bobby. “In the end, there are only two options. Either they did take him away, or he’s there, well hidden from the world.”

“They did it to evoke confusion,” Jean added to the conversation.

“Scott, Jean, try to find as much information as possible about the facility in Salem. We’ll be better prepared to take him out of there,” Charles gave instructions.

Y/N jumped on her feet, letting the water bottle drop on the floor. “I’ll go with you.” All eyes were back on her.”I have to get him out.”

“You need to train more,” said Scott strictly. His hands fell off Jean. “You’ve been here for what two weeks? Forget about it. You’re not going on this mission.”

“Mind your tone, Scotty,” Logan warned him with a snarl.

“She doesn’t know how to fight or use her ability. She’s a newbie, a trainee. I will not put anyone’s life in danger because of her,” he pushed himself from Jean and approached Y/N. “If we go to get the boy, she’s staying here. Period.”

Logan was close behind Y/N, ready to step in. But she stood her ground, not afraid of the Cyclops.

Jean reached for Scott’s shoulder. “That’s enough, Scott.”

Y/N approached Scott with one long step, glaring at him. “I survived a lot of things in my life. You don’t know what I am capable of, so don’t underestimate me, Cyclops. And don’t be a dick. I’ve never been rude to you, never did anything to you. So don’t raise your voice at me. I am not afraid of you.”

“Oh yeah?” he challenged her. “You better start talking about your past life then. We know nothing about you.”

Her fists clenched hard until her knuckles were white. There was a lot of anger building inside of her. And it showed. The forcefield started to glitch around her.

“You can’t even control your power, Y/N,” Scott mocked her. “Look what you are doing.”

“Y/N, please, calm down,” said Charles calmly. “Same goes for you, Scott.”

She closed her eyes and took a step back, relaxing her posture. She knew better than to get riled up. When her blood pressure lowered, she looked at Scott again, shaking her head in disbelief. What a dick!

Turning on her heel, Y/N left the office without another word. Her walk was brisk, taking long steps to be outside as soon as possible. Of course, there would be a person who would make her freedom difficult.

I will get you out.

She wrapped her arms around herself and walked through the driveway to the estate’s main gate. She didn’t want to leave. She needed to walk and think.

Y/N wanted to get little JJ out of that hellhole before it was too late. Fear crawled through her back, tapping on her head. What if they kill him before they get there? He saved her life. He helped her escape. It’s her turn to return the favour and secure him a better life here in a school for mutants.

There was another thing that drove her to save the boy. But she didn’t want to open that door. After all those years, it was painful to think about it.

Fucking bitch! How could you?! Cries were echoing in her mind. Psycho! Murderer!

“Y/N,” she heard Logan’s voice behind her. That made her halt and sigh. “You okay?”

She pressed the bridge of her nose. “Yes,” she said.

“You are full of shit, ya know that?” he laughed. “Just admit that you are pissed.”

She spun around. Her eyes could kill. “I’ll get JJ with or without help. I don’t give a shit what you say. I will be the one who will get him out of that place.”

“I know,” Logan nodded, understanding. “I won’t be the one who’ll stop you. If I were you, I’d do the same thing. And I would punch Scott in the face.”

She couldn’t help but giggle. “You have your way with words, Logan.”

“I was thinking about becoming a motivational speaker,” he shrugged and smiled at her when he made her laugh again. “Bobby was right. We only have two options, and we must prepare before we leave to get the kid. I was there. I saw how many guards were securing the facility. One or two people won’t do it. We need a strategy.”

“All I want is to help, get him out of there so he can have a better life than I ever had. I don’t want him to experience that much torture. I need…” she started to choke on words. “I need…” Tears escaped her eyes as she felt the pain inside her soul. Was this a panic attack? Her heart was beating fast. The world was crumbling down.

Logan was quick enough to close the distance. His hands found her shoulders. “We will get him out. You hear me, bub? I can’t tell you when. We must prepare for the mission and gather information. We won’t make it far without a strategy.”

She gripped his flannel shirt tightly, holding for dear life. “I worry he’ll be dead.”

He shook his head. “You said he was cunning. He’ll find a way to survive.” Without thinking, he pressed her body against his, holding her. “While we are planning, you’ll be training your power and how to fight.”

She closed her teary eyes. As much as the hug was unexpected, it was comforting. “Promise me I’ll go with you.”

Logan nodded twice. “I promise.”

#Logan Howlett x female reader #Logan Howlett x reader #Wolverine x reader #Wolverine x female reader #James Logan Howlett x reader #Logan Howlett x female mutant reader #A touch of hope #Marvel fanfiction #Wolverine fanfiction

341 notes · View notes

elsa-fogen · 1 month

Note

Oh, thinking more

What if the hunter that shot Alastor was Vox?

Like, I doubt it, but we "know" they had dogs, so I was thinking about who if any has anything resembling dogs? And the only one I can think of is Vox, like he had two sharks in the show plus some dog-shark creature in the insta stories

So, what if he was pretty young, loved radio and any new technology, so he was a fan of Alastor's. In addition, he had just started to learn how to hunt and wanting to impress his parents went out late to practice, took the dogs so that he could just say he went out with them if anyone asked

Then out in the woods, the dogs start to bark and he readies his gun, mostly just to better his aim, not intending to shoot. Then he sees the figure rise, he can't fully comprehend it before he takes the shot. He can hear a thud. He got it? He got it! He shot a deer!

Oh.

That's gonna be hard to hide.

Should he tell dad that he was able to shoot a deer? Like, yay, he did it! But also, no, he went out with dads gun without permission.

He approaches the deer, trying to figure out what to do with it, only to freeze when he gazes upon it.

It's not a deer.

It's a-

He-

This is bad.

That was the last time he went hunting. He can't get the image out of his head. He'll never forget that face.

The worst part was, he knew who it was. He had figured it out when he saw a missing poster of his favorite radio host.

He still liked technology, and to drown out the past that's where all his focus went. He wanted to be a big part of TV just like Alastor had been a big part of Radio. It was his way of honouring Alastor.

Still, sometimes it was hard to listen to the radio, that's why his focus was on the TV. They where practically the same, just some extra visuals, distractions, it was practically an upgrade. He just knew Alastor would agree, that man was always on the forefront of what was new in radio.

Surely, if he was alive, then he would have obviously pivoted towards TV after realizing the benefits of the medium

___

Imagen then how Vox would reach when seeing Alastor for the first time in hell. Like he doesn't know if Alastor is aware that it was Vox, but if he does maybe he won't recognize Vox? He has a TV for a head now, not really a human feature. Still though, he can't help but want to spend time with Alastor, tell of all that has happened in the world and share with him how Amazing the TV had become

DAMN BAEWSBNFSDYGUFKDGHFS

ANONS ARE FEEDING ME GOOD TODAY WTF?

✨✨✨THE TRAUMA✨✨✨

THIS IS INSANE remember the "sad and complicated" IT KINDA FITS LOL AHAHA-- THIS EXPLAINS WHY VOX IS SO OBSESSED WITH ALASTOR

IMAGINE JUST IMAGINE, NEXT SEASON THEY ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT AND VOX SAYS SOMETHING LIKE, I KILLED YOU ONCE, I'LL KILL YOU AGAIN AND ALASTOR'S JUST WHAT AND EVERYTHING STOPS WHILE BOTH REALISE WHAT WAS JUST SAID

That would be such a cool turn, like. Vox clinging to Alastor in pathetic attempt to apologise for killing him and make up for it, and get waht they could have in life if he haven't killed him. And Alastor just doesn't understand Vox's behavior nor the reasons for it

AND WHEN VOX SAYS THAT HE KILLED HIM IN LIFE EVERYTHING BECOMES CLEAR AND ALASTOR JUST LAUGHS LIKE, HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE, HE'S NOT EVEN ANGRY, BECAUSE VOX JUST BECOME EVEN MORE PATHETIC IN HIS EYES. HE KILLED HIM AND THEN WAS IN SHOCK HIS WHOLE LIFE WHILE ALASTOR KILLED MUCH MORE AND NEVER FELT REMORSE FOR A SINGLE ONE

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #sudden ask lol #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #human alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor the radio demon #the radio demon #radio demon

180 notes · View notes

absolutekillswitch · 5 months

Text

no alarms and no surprises (please)

pairing: luke castellan x thanatos!reader

tw: major TLO spoilers (honestly tho if u haven’t read it yet, begone), major character death, discussions of blood and death, Luke was reader’s first kiss, mentions of past manipulation, lots of crying, and also i made [REDACTED] take way too long to die for the sake of dialogue. Sorry. Also! she/her pronouns are used, but I tried to steer clear of descriptors outside of that so this SHOULD be woc friendly

word count: 3.4k

It was cruel, this end he was facing. Y/N had felt it long before she’d seen it, that deep intrinsic tug within her, that sixth sense that had begun to go haywire since New York had fallen asleep, since the final countdown for western civilization had officially started running. The tug that alerted her to a new death in her vicinity. The curse bore by the children of death, the chained god, to feel the string of fate being cut, to sense lost souls being carried to the underworld by their father. To mourn, but not to see. She’d never felt it as frequently as she did now, feeling like threads tugging her in countless directions, so much so that her aim with her sword was affected. She’d been coined the best swordsman back at camp, after the previous titleholder had vacated the position, but now, it was like she was jittery, like a newborn zebra with a sword in their grasp, trying to learn how to stand and fight all at once, her battle senses being overridden by the unavoidable emotional pain of the fact that every tug she was feeling, was the feeling of a fellow demigod dying.

But then she’d felt that one.

The strength of this particular tug wasn’t lost on her. It was stronger than any she’d faced yet— stronger than the tugs of those she’d slain herself, and stronger than the tugs of those who had been close to her, when they were alive. It was so strong that the metaphysical tug had felt like a real, physical one, like she was physically being pulled in its direction. The proof of it is the crude slash on her forearm, where the kid she’d been fighting back had gotten a lucky shot on her due to her presently distracted nature.

It had to have been him.

She wasn’t sure just who she’d been fighting, and in the end, she doesn’t think it really mattered all that much, if they were a former camper; a demigod, or if they were an armored monster, as with a wave of her hand, the ground rumbles, opening up under their feet, boney, decayed hands dragging them into the earth, only for the ground to close up on them halfway through their forced descent. Y/N didn’t even notice, nor did she really care. All she knew was that she’d put an end to her own fight, allowing her feet to carry her to his side, numbness flooding her body, with a whispered command to her undead soldiers,

“Protect them.”

She’s not even sure how she found him, exactly. She’d just always been able to find him like that. Now seemed to be no exception to the rule, as she followed what she would consider to be the string of fate to his side. The sight she sees when she does is an unwelcome one, however. There’s three of them— she sees Percy and Annabeth crowded around a figure on the ground. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who it is.

“Oh, Gods,” Y/N whispers, hesitating to get closer. She doesn’t know if she can. At the sound of her voice, Percy turns. He looks pale, eyes ringed in red. It looks like he’d been crying, exhausted, eyes wide, as if he were afraid he’d collapse if he even blinked. Y/N wouldn’t blame him, if he did.

“Y/N—“ He hesitates to speak, to try and explain, but Y/N doesn’t let him. She’s already marching over, ignoring the dread building in her gut, the tears in her eyes. And that’s when she sees him.

“Luke,” She whispers, the single word bordering on a gasp. Internally, she’s vaguely aware that this is the first time she’d used his name in years, preferring to call him by his last name, or traitor, at best, or whatever random curse she could think of at the time, at worst. She’d gotten pretty good at it, honestly— the coming up with insults to hurl at him every time they’d crossed paths since his betrayal. But now, all of that is gone. It seems that at that moment, Annabeth and Percy disappeared. It’s just them as she crumbles, falling to her knees before he can even protest. It’s him, not Kronos, she knows. They’d all learned how to tell the difference between the two, when Kronos had taken Luke’s face. Kronos had a colder air about him, eyes golden. Just pure evil that seeped into your bones, that seemed to change even the people around you. But this? This was Luke Castellan. Soft, soulful brown eyes, and a welcoming air about him. This was the guy who had been like all of Camp Half-Blood’s big brother. This was the guy Y/N had been in love with ever since she’d arrived at camp, even if she realized it far too late. Even if he was currently trying to get Percy to make her leave, not wanting her to see him like this. Never like this. Her eyes take stock of his appearance against her will. He looked just as bad as Percy did— worse, actually, given he was bleeding, Annabeth’s knife clattering from his hand to the marble below him. It makes her heart ache, the picture in front of her painted so clearly, even if she hadn’t been present to see it herself.

A hero’s soul, cursed blade shall reap.

They’d realized what the prophecy meant, clearly. Luke had to be the one to take Kronos— and to an extent, himself— out. And when Luke had done it, when he’d touched his own Achilles heel, Kronos had run. So now, Luke Castellan was dying. Alone.

Well— not alone.

She was still here. She always would be, even if he’d insist otherwise. He hated how she always had made him want to be a better person. Even now, as he lay dying, covered in sweat, blood, and ash. If she tries hard enough, she can almost pretend that they’re back at camp, that they’d had an extremely rough day playing capture the flag, that the pair of them are in the infirmary, making up ridiculous stories for the scars they’ll have as a result of their adventure, shedding tears from their short lived pain in the name of glory but laughing anyway as they stitched each other up, letting the Apollo kids deal with those who didn’t have someone to back them up like Y/N and Luke did— someone to dote on them, and someone to dote on in return. But it gets hard, keeping up this fantasy. They’re both far too battle-worn, both with eyes that had seen far too much, faces years older than they were the last time they’d seen each other. And in spite of it all, all she can find herself thinking is,

‘Oh, love, you grew up without me’.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Luke tells her plainly, his brown eyes fighting to focus on her through his tears that he’s fighting to push back. Had they always done that?

“Yet I’m here anyway. Deal.” She responds, brows furrowing, focusing on the wound in his side. Prophecies be damned, she won’t let him die. He sits up straighter, slumped uncomfortably against a marble wall at the sudden pressure to his side, the daughter of Thanatos trying to staunch the blood flow, trying to give him more time, tears clouding her own vision, hands shaking. She knows deep down that it’s all in vain, but she won’t let him go. Not like this. She’ll fight her father back herself, if she had to.

“Y/N…” He whispers uncomfortably, hating how blood spurts past his lips, onto his chin, as he utters her name. He’s going to die, he knows, he can almost feel the fates beginning to prepare to cut his thread, but there’s some things he can’t leave unsaid. “My— my heart, it was always yours. You know that, right?” He notices how she flinches, expression troubled. “Take care of it, for me. I know you’ll do better with it than I ever had.” It’s true— his entire time at camp, since she’d arrived, he’d stupidly ignored it. He let hate and anger and jealousy cloud his mind for so long, he never really appreciated what was in front of him. It was just unfortunate it was taking his death to realize that.

“Don’t— don’t say that, not to me,” she sobs, shaking hands still covering his wound, stupidly, naively, believing she could still save him. “Don’t make it sound like you’re dying. You’re not dying, damn it,” she still sounds determined, one hand leaving his wound to touch his face, holding his cheek, accidentally staining it with his own blood. “Don’t— don’t leave me here, please, I just got you back,” she pleads, glassy eyes blurring with tears. She thinks, honestly, that this is the first time she’s talking to just Luke, free of Kronos’ influence, since he’d stolen that lightning bolt from Olympus years ago. It’s the Luke she remembers, the one she so sorely missed.

He laughed quietly, reaching up to touch her fingers. Even now, as she was sobbing over him, unable to look him in the eye, she’s the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Her lips were so plump — as if made to be kissed, even in this moment of peril. “The gods might not want me, but I’m glad they’ve given you to me,” he whispered, squeezing her hand in his again. “I’m dying, Y/N. You can’t save me.” This makes her squeeze her eyes closed, shaking her head lightly, as if she isn’t listening. She isn’t, not really.

“No, nononono— stop that,” She cries, her eyes squinting shut in an effort to banish her tears, but it doesn’t work. “I’m— I’m the daughter of Thanatos, damn it, what good am I if I can’t do this? If I can’t keep just one person alive?” She seems to be talking mostly to herself, not giving up her mission on keeping him with her. Not after everything that’s been said, not with everything that’s being left unsaid. “I know this isn’t what I do, that I’m not a fucking sunshiney Apollo kid who can heal someone on a whim. But this is kinda my thing, is it not? Just… Just one. Please, let me save just this one. I’ll never ask for anything again.” She’s looking up at the sky— praying, it looked like, while blinking away her own tears. She couldn’t remember the last time she prayed to the gods for anything, but she was now. To anyone who would listen, though Luke gets the sneaking suspicion she’s talking to her father. The one she blamed, for being unable to save anyone. She couldn’t heal, the best she could do was sit by and watch.

Luke laughed again, but it’s humorless— and it was so cruel, to die when he could feel his heartbeat quickening as Y/N was so close, her lips so near to his, her eyes so lovely. He wished he could kiss her right now, in this moment, on the marble floor, with blood running over his fingers and the dagger still next to them.

“Y/N, promise me one thing?”

“Anything,” Y/N nods softly, her attention turning back to him. She hates how the simple act of saying her name still affected her so much, after all this time. Her tears were cutting through the grime on her face from a hard fought battle, covered in her own and the blood of others, trembling. Still, she finds it in her to make a promise to the dying boy she loved. “Anything. Just—“ she drifts off, nodding, knowing they don’t have time. Luke took a breath, his eyes fluttering shut. For the first time in his life, he genuinely felt like a young man. A teenage boy, holding his girlfriend's hand and wanting nothing but her to keep safe. For a moment, he can pretend. But only for a moment. His breath hitched, and slowly, he felt the life fading from his body — as if it was being drawn from him like water in a cup. He hesitates to speak, but knows he’s running out of time. He can feel it, being sapped from his bones. But in spite of that, he’s not… afraid. He isn’t angry. He almost isn’t even in pain. He thinks it’s her, that it’s Y/N’s aura as a daughter of Thanatos, that no one in her vicinity will feel pain, a divine remainder of her father’s power flowing in her veins, the guide to the underworld, before they’d meet the ferryman. A walking shot of morphine. He’s heard stories from his spies, about how when Camp would lose a camper during their fight with Kronos— with him—, Y/N would stay with them until they passed, holding their hand, telling stories, bringing them peace, so they would go out with a kind face. Much like she was doing now, for him. The Thanatos of the waking world, the guiding light to death. It’s much more than he deserves, and he knows it.

"Promise me.... you'll meet me again... at the River Styx," He whispered.

“I’ll find you in Elysium.” She promises softly through sniffles, brushing his hair out of his face, a forced soft smile on her own face. She wants him to go out peacefully, wants to remember her smiling, even if she wants to scream at the sky and cry until she couldn’t breathe anymore. She’d been pretty good at it, feigning calmness and serenity with the campers they lost on their own side. It made their passing easier. But this? With him? She doesn’t know if it does. He’d always been far too good at reading her, for that. “I swear it, on the Styx, that I’ll find you in Elysium.” She sounds sure of herself, that even after everything he’d done, he’d earned a hero’s afterlife. That’s what the prophecy said, after all, right? Somehow, she knows she, too, will find herself with a hero’s death. Life wouldn’t be so kind to allow her to die of old age. She’d die hard, with a sword in her hand, and anger in her heart. Luke's eyes flickered open to meet the softness of hers, of lips he wanted to taste, of skin he wanted to cover with kisses. For a moment, he allowed himself the luxury of mourning the future he could’ve had with this girl, if he hadn’t been so hellbent on his never ending quest for glory.

Kleos. The word feels like poison, now. Maybe it always had been.

"No —" He whispered, head shaking lightly, "I won't be in Elysium. I’ll go to Asphodel—" He choked. That's where he'd likely be, being punished for his treason. It’s the least he deserved, after everything he’d done. "— and then the Fields of Punishment. But promise me... that you will wait for me, at the River."

“No,” Y/N shakes her head, adamant. He should probably take her word for it— she’s the daughter of the god of death, after all. She had a sense for these things. “Elysium. I’m sure of it. You’ve earned it.” She promises, tone soft. She doesn’t mention how she’d never let her father live it down if anything else took place. She’d tear Hades apart herself, find his soul and bring him back, somehow. Like Orpheus and Eurydice, except she’d succeed. “Regardless— it doesn’t matter. I’ll always find you. No matter where you are, I’ll find you. I swear it.”

He laughed, and it was a sad one. He was so weak, so very weak, his eyes flickering once more, his hand squeezing hers as tightly as he could, wanting to burn her imprint into his flesh. "You are so stubborn, you know that? You always have been," he whispered. Images flash through his mind against his will— her face, always her face. When she’d learned of his betrayal, then later when he’d attempted to sway her to his side. When they would train together in the arena— camp’s two best swordsmen. When she’d have nightmares, constant images of the dead trying to use her, both for her powers and as revenge on her father, who they felt claimed them from the mortal plane far too soon, to crawl their way back to the world of the living, and how, terrified of closing her eyes again, she’d crawl into his bed with him, the only place she felt safe enough to fall back asleep. When she’d kissed him for the first time, on her seventeenth birthday. Because ‘most demigods don’t get to make it to seventeen, so I’m making seventeen count’, as she’d put it. Then, later that night, after his surprise wore off, when he had kissed her. It pains him to think about how he’d only been manipulating her, back then. Had he loved her? Sure, but his mission always seemed more important at the time. He’d do it for them, he’d told himself. The gods would regret every unclaimed child, and every claimed child resigned to the Hermes cabin because they weren’t born with the luxury of having a parent that had a throne on Olympus, one of the big twelve. For kids like Y/N. His hand slipped from hers, and he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes. Instead, he'd watch her, as if he could lock her into his memory. "Will you... will you stay here with me, until my life..." He couldn't finish the sentence.

“Until the very end.” She promises softly, her voice cracking with the effort not to cry. She’d almost given up on trying to staunch the bleeding, one hand resting on his face, brushing languidly, lovingly, over his cheek, just around the edge of his scar. She’s not sure what possessed her in that moment, as she leans down, placing a soft, chaste, yet romantic kiss to his lips. After all, he’d been her first kiss, it felt fitting that she would also be his last. As she pulls away, she whispers against his lips, “I love you, Luke Castellan.”

He was breathless, the kiss like a dagger to the chest, biting deeper than the blade that will end up taking his life. In a matter of minutes, his heartbeat would skip its last beat, and her face will be the last he sees, the last thought on his mind. His hand came up to the back of her neck, holding her as he whispered in return, "... I love you too." He managed only that, before his heart failed him. He was gone, and he didn't make a sound.

Gone with a whimper, not a bang.

The blood that fell from his wound was now staining the pristine marble flooring beneath them, the last remnants of life and love, of devotion and betrayal. Y/N hoped that it would stain forever, a constant reminder of his sacrifice.

Y/N felt his final breath fan across her face, and she knew he was gone. Her eyes remained closed, steady tears rolling down her face, their foreheads pressed together. She can feel him growing cold as she sobs. “No,” She whimpers, his hands, now gone limp, still in hers. “No, please no—“ Vaguely, she’s aware of the rumbling of the ground under her feet, a telltale sign of her powers coming out to play, a throng of undead soldiers aching to burst past the earth’s mantle, to await her command. Her face screws up into an expression of anguish, though she forces the feeling down, knowing that if she didn’t reel in her own emotion, her legion of death wouldn’t hesitate to grab every demigod in her vicinity and drag them into the earth, to take their place in the afterlife. Maybe they’d take her, too. Maybe she hoped they would.

The thing about being the daughter of death, was that when a soul left a body and you were near enough to it, you could feel them leaving the mortal plane, accompanied by her father to the underworld. She could feel it, feel him, Luke’s soul leaving his body. She always did, with the campers they lost during the war, but this one hits too close to home. It’s a startling, chilling, terrifying feeling, that only makes her sob harder, knowing the boy she loved was now in her father’s hands, and out of her own. This was always the hardest part. “Take care of him for me, pops,” she whispers, voice trembling, knowing her father was with Luke’s soul right now, the pair watching over her mourning over Luke’s body. As that realization passes over her, she sits up straight, a ragged scream of mourning threatening to tear her vocal cords apart. In the background, she’s vaguely aware of the voice of Percy Jackson speaking,

“We need a shroud. A shroud for the son of Hermes.”

Notes: and with that, we’re done. This was super fun! I feel like I could go on forever about Luke x Grim Reader (I’m calling them deadwings/grimwings), and if there’s enough of a demand, I just might. Feedback is obviously appreciated !! Drink some water, hug a friend, and don’t forget to pirate PJO 🫶

#JAZZ HANDDSS #happy Friday have some soul shattering angst #and for my next trick I’ll disappear into obscurity never to be heard from again #jk #unless???#pjo x reader #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan angst #luke castellan x you #PJO angst #x reader #PJO imagine

349 notes · View notes

dreamauri · 10 months

Text

♪ — 𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗬, 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗠𝗬 𝗪𝗔𝗬 kimi räikkönen x fem! photographer! reader (fluff) “. . . you try to capture kimi's smile but you capture his heart instead.”

( main masterlist ) ( requests )

joining formula one

Bustling. That's what he'd describe the track on such a day. Pushing through the people, Kimi didn't have the patience and to stop and apologize. You didn't neither, but you still repeated the same phrase trying to squeeze through the crowd with a polite smile.

You looked . . . Kimi was to busy watching to think about that. His eyes followed you as you clutched your camera, trying to frame a moment before your dead line. You had this . . . bubbly-like aura that kimi couldn't quite put a finger on. The way you smile and apologized, the way you helped give people directions or explain things even though your clock was ticking.

He's heard about you from his mechanics. The new intern who seems to be practically towing the joy and warmth sun behind wherever she goes. He had to agree with them on that, you sure were . . . something.

Click.

He was too concentrated to realize it was him you were pointing the lens at until it was too late. And he didn't like that. A bright smile made its way to your lips as you looked down at your product, proud of the moment you captured.

You looked up, ready to push yourself in the direction of where you last saw the Finnish boy, only to find him gone already. He'd walked away without sparing you a second glance.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Kimi!" You tried to get his attention. Well you did, but not long enough for him to make eyecontact with the camera lens. You smiled nonetheless at your product. "Still no eyecontact?"

You yelped in surprise at the new voice only to relax upon realizing your new friend. "You know, I'd look in the camera and pose for you any time." Fernando Alonso said cheekily as he leaned his shoulder on the wall next to you, watching you blush as he gently held your chin.

Kimi did not like what he was seeing. Watching you pull away from Fernando, shyly brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. But why? Was it because he knew the Spaniard's intentions were only going to take away your innocence. Or maybe because he wanted to keep the joy you radiated all to himself.

You were aiming to get his attention after all. The only thought that now ran through his head was that he also wanted to see the pictures you took.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"BOO!" Kimi turned to look at you unamused as you tried to get his attention ( successfully ). A squeel rang through your throat as you jumped in place from excitement. Finally!

The sun was practically in your eyes as you stared at the new addition to your camera roll, feeling mesmerized by the beauty of a singular man. Unaware of his presence, Kimi stood behind you also staring at the pictures you took, putting a hand on his waist sighing deeply.

"I like this one." He pointed, pointing at the screen. You jolted surprised, looking up at the finish man with a shy blush. He raised an eyebrow waiting for you to reply or do something but you didn't. "Are you going to keep staring at me or . . . ?" He tilted his head waiting.

You could feel your face redden even deeper as you looked up at him. "I— I was thinking . . . You'd look way better if you took those of. Cause you know— you have—" You stuttered over your words as you gently reached and pulled his glasses off gently, staring deep in his eyes. ". . . Very pretty eyes." You found yourself whispering, like it was a secret.

Kimi hummed, titling his hear the other way, staring deep into your sole which only made you shrink and tense further. "I'll think about it." You couldn't catch it, but the smallest curl of a smile made its way to his lips as he took his sun glasses from you softly, his skin brushing against yours as he tool his leave.

God you loved Finnish men. Blond Finnish men. Blond Finnish men who drive fast cars. Blond Finnish men who were Kimi Räikkönen.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Kimi didn't like early mornings. At all.

He grumbled as he walked down the semi-empty paddock with his hands in his pockets. The sun was blazing brightly and he didn't like the new see through sunglasses.

Well, he didn't like them until he saw you sitting on a motor home's roof ( how you got up there he didn't think he wanted to know). He stood there, watching you swing your legs and hum a song's melody as you cleaned your disassembled camera.

He didn't want to interrupt you, but he also wanted your . . . attention? It took you a few moments to look down confused at the none moving human. All it took was your wide smile and laugh to make Kimi Räikkönen feel lighter and brighter as he waved up at you hello.

"You got new glasses!" You cheered, throwing your hands up happily. Oh how you loved his eyes. This would do nicely, you thought as you dismounted. You couldn't stop the giggles as you jogged to where kimi was standing waiting for you.

"Do I look camera worthy?" He chuckled, the smallest smile curving on his lips as he leaned a hand on his hand on his hip, tilting his head down for you to get a closer look.

"Camera worthy? I can get you an a magazine." You giggled happily, holding your hands together. The sun shone brighter and Kimi smiled all the way, gently ruffling your hair as he continued his walk through the paddock.

You found that smile on his face time and time again each time he noticed your camera pointed at him. He didn't bother looking away and smiled at you, watching you work and jump in excitement with each perfect shot.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He lost the glasses ( on purpose, but you didn't need to know that ) and shrugged about it when you asked about it. "It's better for you." He waved off, ruffling your hair and patting your back ( gently ).

You watched as he pushed power cameras and hid his face from them. But to your camera, he presented himself, posing even. Giving the smile that induced your own. The smile that was only for you, genuine and heart stopping. You were his designated photographer at this point. Not only in formula one but in commercials, marketing businesses, and third party events.

He was never that far from you, always by your side, watching you go through the camera roll from a top your head. You enjoyed the small smile and hearing his chuckle from behind you as you held up the screen to show a photo you personally liked. But he wasn't watching them, he was watching you.

You felt your heart flutter and face redden as he offered simple gestures. You'd often find Kimi brushing your hair out of your face or typing it in a loose ponytail, sometimes putting his team cap on your head during sunny days. The way he pulled you to walk under his umbrella when it rained or helped apply the sunscreen to your back when he invited you to out to his yacht in Monaco.

Kimi wasn't big with words or conversations, but you knew what he was asking you when asked you turn around. You felt him gently drape the expensive necklace around your neck with KR7 pendant, clipping it into place. You loved the soft smile that covered his face when he leaned down to connect your lips with his.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

thank you, formula racing

"Kimi, love." You held his hand, pulling him still in his tracks. He gave his immediate and all of his attention to you. This was unusual. You weren't smiling or radiating your halo of joy and warmth. You were dragging along a cloud atop your head, with an uncertain and hesitant look.

Kimi didn't hesitate to cup your cheeks, turning you right and left and around, checking for injuries or bruises. "What happened? Whats wrong?" You closed your eyes, leaning into his soft hands that you've come to love so much.

"I— Remember that magazine photo shoot about 'Schumacher's nightmare'? I . . . I Got a job offer with hypercar. My boss is forcing me to go."

That was great news! Hypercar! Endurance races, night races, 24 hours of le mans! Porsche, Ferrari, McLarwn, Mercedes and more! More money and experience! Lots of new things! Different circuits and calender as well!

. . . different circuits and calender.

You didn't dare to open your eyes and see your boyfriend's reaction. But the way he ran his thumb across your cheek, you couldn't look away from his eyes.

He was stoic. The same way you saw him for the first time. Same way he didn't give a shit about anything outside you. You furrowed your eyebrows, silently begging him to say something.

But this was kimi we were talking about. His hands slowly pulled away from you, and if you closed your eyes, you could still feel him. He hesitantly and simply nodded, holding his hand out for you to shake.

You eyes teared up as you looked down at his open palm. You tried blinking your tears away as you shook his hand gently before watching him pull away and carry on with his previous task.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

welcome home

"Kimi." You whispered. You missed his name on your lips. The quiet man snapped his head up at the familiar voice. Kimi found himself smiling widely upon finding your face, leaning his head on your hand. He could recognize your voice anywhere, in a crowded room after years of being apart.

The gaze in his eyes said everything as you waved a hello and he mounted back one to you. You weren't holding up your camera but Kimi still found himself looking and smiling at you.

You were still beautiful and innocent, your halo and warmth were still intact. Especially your smile, oh how he missed your smile. The way you made him feel, relaxing as he stared at you like a teenager in love. He hasn't felt this at ease in years, and he was glad you were back.

He didn't get the chance to catch you after the press conference, but he found you sitting on the balcony of his garage, legs swinging down the edge. He stood behind you, listening to you hum a melody as you looked at the pictures from today.

You must've been too into your little word to notice him crouched behind you, looking through your pictures with you. A soft smile on his face as he admired your concentrated face. "Baby," He held your chin gently turning you to face him. "Look my way."

Pink dusted your cheeks as you looked at him shyly. "Hi." You whispered barley loud enough for him to hear. "Hi." He glanced down at your lips, not giving it a second thought before leaning down upon seeing the necklace he's gifted you years ago.

968 notes · View notes

theresattrpgforthat · 3 months

Note

It would be awesome if you could recommend some solo ttrpgs! I've been getting into them a lot lately and want to know more of what's out there. Especially journalling ones, as I enjoy creative writing. So far I've looked into (and will probably buy soon) Firelights, Apawthecaria, and Fox Curio's Floating Bookshop.

Also, I love this blog a ton. Already there have been some awesome games I've learned about from you, including the one you're currently working on. Excited to give it a try sometime! Keep being amazing 💜.

Theme: Solo Journalling Games

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm certainly excited to run Protect the Child for folks, play-testing it so far has been really fun!

As for your ask, solo games and journalling go hand in hand. These next few games are just a sampling of what I've added recently to my Solo Games folder on Itch.

Cats Know Things, by Mushroom Witch Games.

CATS KNOW THINGS is a light-hearted game meant to tell a humorous story of intrigue, all while pretending to be a very nosy cat.

But you are no ordinary cat.

You are a very special feline who, through some magic you cannot explain, can communicate with your human, an individual who wishes to make their mark in society by any means necessary. The two of you decide to start a society page, (a very fancy type of tabloid newspaper dedicated to a particular location) revealing the glitz, glamour, and inner turmoil of the town’s most notable individuals.

Use a d6 and a d10 to generate numbers, and sneak into places to listen into secret or private conversations. Then bring this news to your human companion, so that they may relay this gossip in the local society page. You need to find 6-8 scintillating stories before the week is up, so that your human has enough to print.

If you want a game full of scandal and cute furry little rumour-mongers, this might be the game for you!

Lingering, by Meghan Cross.

The last thing you remember, you were dying.

Now, breath fills your lungs once more and your eyes open, slowly shifting side to side as you attempt to regain your bearings. You are alive. But you are…changed. Your human form is gone, and in its place is one that is different, foreign, animal…

In Lingering, you play as a person who has died, only to find yourself alive again in an animal form, unable to move on to your eternal rest until you settle business left unsettled from your life.

Throughout the course of a game, you will make several attempts to communicate with a chosen human, hoping to convey a message to them so they can assist you and help you move on once and for all.

This game uses a deck of cards and some guiding adjectives to determine how your attempts at communication will go. Over eight rounds, you’ll flip cards while guessing as to whether each card will be higher or lower than the previous one, and a successful guess means a successful interaction. The details of those attempts are what you’ll be journalling, and Lingering provides a number of questions that you might try to answer with each attempt.

This game takes place over eight rounds, so it’s excellent if you want a short, contained game. It also has a two-player option if you want to try this game out with a loved one.

Dragon Dowser, by HatchlingDM.

Dragon Dowser is a solo journaling RPG using the Carta SRD by Peach Garden Games. You play a mysterious character known as a 'Dowser'. Your aim is to locate abandoned dragon eggs and return them to your Sanctuary. If you succeed before expending your resources, the hatchling you rescue will be reared to change the kingdom forever!

This is a lovingly crafted game that uses card suits to represent four different kinds of ways your character will be tested, as they interact with different cultures, explore new landscapes, and dea with various conflicts, both human and nature-made.

You’ll travel across a grid of cards that provide you with journaling prompts as you travel. You’ll expend resources to overcome obstacles, looking for a dragon egg, represented by an Ace! Once you return this egg to a sanctuary, you’ll journal about your experience of raising the hatchling. Based on the games you’ve mentioned so far, I think Dragon Dowser is right up your alley.

EDEN, by blasez-faire.

You are Judaiah Clark, the Head Botanical Researcher at the Southern Sector of Eden. You are here for exactly 10 days, and were a last minute choice after the sudden disappearance of ■■■■■■ ■■■■■, the last person to hold this position. You are not here for work. Investigate.

EDEN is a single-page game that takes place over the course of 10 in-game days, with two questions that you will have to answer in your journal for every day. You are expected to write up a report with detailed notes, so much of the extrapolation taken from each pair of questions is going to come from your own imagination. To help with this you might want to come up with names for other characters, draw a map of the Southern Sector, or go into detail about the plants that this research station grows.

One thing is for sure - this is going to be a horror story. If you like games that give you a lot of room to stretch your creative wings, and you also like writing terrible endings for your characters, you might like this game.

Black Mountain Numbers Station, by Simon de Vet.

You wake one morning to the sound of a voice on the radio reading a series of numbers. On impulse, you jot them down. These numbers will become your life.

Black Mountain Numbers Station is a one-page, solo-journaling game about a mysterious broadcast, and about finding patterns in randomness. Using a unique dice mechanic to prompt you to describe your journey, you will tell a short story of obsession, frustration, and discovery.

This game is uses a 6x6 grid with boxes that you’ll need to fill when you roll a pair of dice. You’ll trigger evens when you roll doubles or find a certain pattern on the grid as you fill it, and in both of these cases, you’ll write special journal entries. The game ends when you fill your Frustration track, which symbolizes listening for too long without learning anything new. What exactly you learn, however, is up to you.

Bound, by K Ramstack.

Bound is a single player setting agnostic game about the connection between two people as they travel to a destination through the destruction of the world on a journey they will most likely not complete.

You will create two characters, their relationship to one another, the destruction that haunts them, and the motive for them to move forward.

During the game, you will be asked to write scenes in first person, switching perspectives between characters, and using their personality traits and subjective conceptualizations of each other to answer prompts.

Bound has a single and two-player version, and uses two decks of playing cards, one for each character. Each card will relate to a prompt on the prompt table, but only the highest ranked prompt will be answered. Each prompt will ask a question about the relationship, and how it changes.

If you want a deeply emotional game with a beautiful layout and lovely art, this is the game for you.

The Narrator Paradox, by psychound.

The Narrator Paradox is a one page solo-narrating game where you try to tell a story … if your protagonist will let you. In it, you determine the five acts of your story based on an oracle, then make rolls for your plot beats to see if you can wrangle your protagonist into the prescribed narrative. If you can't, they defy you and take the story into their own hands. Wrestle the story into shape against a rebellious hero, or lose them forever and have to finish the story without them in it.

Using the Major Arcana of a tarot deck, two six-sided dice and a coin, The Narrator Paradox has a number of different ways that you’ll try to keep your story on track. However, with so much randomness, your protagonist is sure to have a mind of their own. This feels very much in tune with how many writers talk about their characters as if those characters have their own desires, so if you’ve ever related to that you might enjoy this game.

Also Check Out...

My Solo Games tag! I use this tag for every recommendation post specifically for solo games.

#tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #game recommendations #dnd #asks #indie ttrpg #solo games

152 notes · View notes

biteofcherry · 11 months

Text

to find the light, we must first touch the darkness

Please also check out @bluepinkangel’s amazing hot moodboard for this universe 🖤

dark mafia!Steve Rogers x female reader

summary: When you unexpectedly are appointed to run a health center, you foresee many struggles along the way, but not one in the form of a merciless mob boss. Steve Rogers’ core aim is to own and he won’t take no for an answer. To any of his demands.

warnings for this chapter: dark!Steve Rogers; power imbalance; forced relationship; D/s undertones; public humiliation; groping; dirty talk

I did warn you this Steve is dark 😜

word count: 4k

Touch the Darkness Masterlist

Main Masterlist

5. Breaking ice

~ * ~

You’ve never been more annoyed with a sunny day and warm lightness filling your bones than you felt the day after the apothecary incident. Extra bounce to your step as the sun stroked your face and corners of your lips threatening to curl up irked you immensely.

Every other minute you tried to force yourself into a stormy mood.

Into an expected reaction to what has happened.

You faced direct danger, witnessed people being killed in cold blood, you were trapped in a relationship with a fucking mobster, who - on top of it all - screwed your body and mind in a most wicked, deranged way.

You shouldn’t be feeling cheery. That reaction was inadequate to the situation and to the moral norms you thought you possessed.

Either Rogers had that strong of an impact that you quickly bent to his dark whims, or the spine you thought you had always been a noodle not a steel rod.

How otherwise explain the fact repulsion at his manhandling transformed into thrill and arousal?

Last night, when you finally went to bed after taking a thorough scrubbing shower (and crunching a few cranberry pills to pray the UTI away), the images of being fucked with a gun resurfaced in a colorful burst.

The crystalline blue frozen in ice of Steve’s irises, the soft pink of his lips inches away from yours, the black of the gun against your floral dress.

It made you sticky instead of sick.

You had some knowledge of the psychological aspects to rough sex fantasies, or bdsm preferences, even consensual non-consent role play; but they all were considered normal when consented and previously explored.

You did not give Steve your verbal consent. Yet you didn’t exactly fight him. Convincing yourself it was because he had a gun and could kill you with it fell poorly since your pussy clenched at the memory of the barrel against your skin.

What has your life become - cranberry pills and getting wet from being violated.

You were angry, yes, but not at what you should be. Your annoyance with Rogers was peaking, but the true resentment wasn’t only toward his actions. It was directed at yourself for not being outraged by what happened.

When the next day at work Natalie asked you about the meeting, you gave her the short version - a trap being set up and Rogers coming to save you. The part about coming all over his gun was left unspoken.

You told yourself it’s to spare yourself further humiliation, but a part of you simply feared you’d get turned on thinking about it again.

Really, that should be a topic to pick at a therapy session, but you couldn’t do that either. You had enough common sense to know going to a psychotherapist was out of the question, not with the man who was about to become your husband. You couldn’t tell all the truth in a session (to not risk a therapist’s life) and going there only to lie and omit had no sense.

So you decided to channel everything onto the job.

Focusing on work meant not allowing your thoughts to roam around Steve fucking Rogers, as well not giving your body reasons to stir with arousal.

You caught up on paperwork, made a few phone calls - including those less important, just to occupy yourself; you visited the new speech therapist in their office. Being busy enhanced the sense of lightness, which you preferred to read as having no space to overthink and stress, instead of wondering if getting debauched was the sole cause of your serenity.

However, the lull of denial burst the moment Natalie came into your office with lunch.

Lunch you didn’t order, and a couple trailing behind her with creepily bright smiles on their faces.

“Miss Leigh Parrish and Mister Elias Asher are here for you.” Natalie informed you, professional as always, though you noticed the barely constrained eye roll. “And they brought you lunch, apparently.”

“What?” You looked at the set of neat three boxes with delicious looking food then at Natalie and at the pair behind her.

The two walked in with confidence, as if they were about to take over your office. The woman, Leigh, had a pad in her hand and a huge binder under her other arm. The man held some small kind of measure tape and a little blue notebook.

If they were some new donors, or a company who wanted to start a program with your health center, they sure were the very first to start negotiations this way. Usually you were invited to lunch, not have it brought. People meeting you were also more reserved and polite, instead of barging in with some wacky energy.

“Lunch is from Mister Rogers, we’re just delivering since we were going to be here anyway,” said Leigh, her toothpaste-commercial grin not changing for a second.

Instantly your mood dropped, your eyebrows creasing into a hostile frown.

“And why are you here?” Your tone remained calm, but you made sure displeasure in it was audible.

Steve randomly buying you lunch was a worrying problem you stored to resolve later; though you had a feeling he wouldn’t care that these nice gestures annoyed you, as they clashed with the picture of a ruthless mobster you were adamant on hating forever.

The two cheery people coming in unannounced - at the direction of Steve, undoubtedly - became the aim of your irritation and distrust.

“To help you plan your wedding, of course.” They both beamed in unison and you almost groaned at how overtly sweet the woman’s tone has become.

“Mr Rogers mentioned you’re fighting nerves, which is absolutely understandable,” Leigh cooed and your fingers twitched, ready to reach for something to throw it at her. “Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially an impromptu one. But that’s why I’m here! I’m the best wedding planner in the city and I’ll make sure it surpasses all your dreams.”

Your reluctance toward the wedding wasn’t something you hid from Rogers. Quite the opposite, you announced it any chance you had; within limits of reason, to avoid being disposed of.

Him sending in an actual wedding planner was a move you did not expect. At all.

You’d sooner anticipate him dragging you in your pajamas in front of a forced registrar to get it over with.

Ah, but that would be too easy. Not enough torment for you. Not enough room for you to show how obedient of a wife you’d be.

We both know you will be a good girl for me, Princess, his voice resounded in your head, a decadent richness that softened your limbs for a split of a second before your resistance kicked in.

Having you organize the wedding, or at least actively participate in it, was a lesson - that you would follow his orders even if you hated them.

“The best wedding planner in the city has a free slot to organize a wedding in a month?” You arched a single eyebrow, studying the woman. “What skeletons are in your closet that my fiance managed to blackmail you?”

You didn’t doubt she was one of the best, but those had their schedules booked for three years in advance. To have her clear it for you meant there was more than just money at stake for Miss Leigh Parrish.

Her smile faltered for a second, but she regained her composure fast. She ignored your question, walking instead toward your desk and placing her huge binder on it.

“Since we have the venue covered, with Mr Rogers estate being more than enough to host the event,” she went on, “there are only details to talk over. Let’s start with the wedding rings, so that Elias can begin working on them right away.”

Her companion stepped forward. The tiny measuring tape in his hand now made sense, as it apparently was to measure the circumference of your finger to match a ring size.

“Let’s start-” you interrupted, pushing your chair back- “with you leaving my office.”

Interesting how you managed to maintain your poised self, professionally cool as you delivered the polite fuck you, while that composure quickly dissolved around Rogers.

You kinda stepped on eggshells around him at first (and still, sensing when the crossing line was too near), but then his demands lit your fuse. Somehow you dared to stomp your foot, be loud in your outbursts and acts of rebellion. And it wasn’t because Steve provided safe space, oh no. He was far from safe.

“What?” The man blinked, confused, while his friend blanched.

“We have to get it done. As soon as possible.” Still trying to sound sweet and soft, Leigh made the mistake of allowing a tremble to shake her voice.

“Then get it done, I don’t really care.” You shrugged.

It was the truth. You didn’t care for the ceremony at all.

You had a brief thought about hating it, if it was some overused boho or retro theme in a barn, but then again you would hate it anyway, since you didn’t want to marry Steve. Besides, it could be funny to see his face if someone told him to wear suspenders and a flat cap for aesthetics.

“You, um, you don’t want to participate in preparations for your own wedding?” Leigh frowned, utterly surprised. “Not even pick a dress?”

“I can wear a t-shirt and flip-flops for all I care.” You probably wouldn’t go that far, but you really didn’t care.

If Rogers didn’t order you to wear a wedding dress, you’d do it anyway just to please your parents who were going to be completely oblivious to the truth behind your speedy wedding. You preferred to keep it that way, playing someone so dumbly in love she was ready to marry a few weeks after meeting the guy. You didn’t want to worry your parents.

Natalie snorted at your words, for the very first time so openly showing amusement. She even grinned when you glared at her, then turned on her heel and walked outside.

“The, um, the wedding rings?” Elias cleared his throat.

“Barbed wire would be fitting,” you snorted under your breath, but he didn’t seem to hear it. You suspected he might’ve fainted if he did.

“Whatever Mister Rogers wishes,” you shrugged. “As a matter of fact, why don't you go and consult with him?”

To underline that you were done with this whole shit-show, you opened one of the lunchboxes and dug a fork into it. You didn’t lift up your eyes from the delicious food until you heard the door closing.

You ate your lunch while idly browsing the internet, just to get your thoughts off the wedding completely. It was approaching with each passing day and you preferred not to accept the fact.

Though you weren’t sure denial would work once there was an actual ring on your finger.

It seemed it wouldn’t work even before that, because not a half hour after you dismissed the wedding planner the door to your office opened with impetus.

Steve strode inside, a force of a thousand storms contained in a man’s body.

His heavy boots and the hem of his tight jeans seemed to be freshly stained with something wet and dark. The rest of him was perfectly clean, not a smudge of dirt on his hands. You tried not to think of blood splashing on his shoes and legs as a lifeless victim fell at Steve's feet.

You definitely tried to ignore a wave of heat that washed over you at the thought.

You forced your eyes to stay on the devil’s angelic face, drowning in the hues of blue, so that your gaze wouldn’t slide across Steve’s body in search of a gun holster.

“Princess.” Steve sighed, but there was an undertone of amusement in his voice.

He walked toward you with purposeful steps; his mass seemingly changing the gravity inside your office, so that all light fractured to disappear in his approaching darkness.

Or maybe it was your attention discarding anything in your peripheral to focus on him, as if he was the center of your world.

You abruptly stood up and shuffled back instinctively, bumping into a bureau. Steve caged you against it, blocking any route of escape with his arms on both sides of you. It was only then that you tilted your chin up, tapping into the remnants of your steel defiance.

“Why am I hearing that you’re scaring off the wedding team?” Steve tilted his head to the side and chuckled. “They’re here to take the planning burden off your shoulders, so that you can focus on your work. And your future role…”

You swore that if he said anything about wifely duties, you’d kick him.

“I told them they can plan whatever they want. As long as they do it far away from me,” your mocking sweet smile combined with your sneer.

Perhaps your tone provoked it, or maybe a challenging fire in your eyes, but Steve’s lips curved into a wolfish grin.

“Oh, Princess,” he cooed, brushing a thumb over your bottom lip, “look at your cute yip, yet there’s no real bite to it.”

It was very dangerous to do anything to antagonize Rogers, especially when he was this close and could snap your neck with his bare hands, but you acted before a reasonable thought settled in.

You opened your mouth and caught his thumb between your teeth, clenching your jaw enough to cause pain, but not drawing blood.

Steve’s eyes hardened, the blue of his irises darkening. Time froze for a split second; you could almost hear the ice cracking beneath your feet and the murky depths awaiting to swallow your dead body.

Suddenly your eyes widened, when instead of backhanding you, Steve pushed his thumb further between your lips.

Your teeth released their grip, his digit easing into your mouth and pressing against your tongue. Saliva pooled around it and you instinctively hollowed your cheeks.

Twisted satisfaction igniting in his eyes and the subtle thrust of his thumb along your tongue stirred you from stupor. Scorching shame filled you to the roots, though you hoped it didn’t show.

You pulled back, turning your face away from Steve as you swallowed remnants of his taste. He tilted your chin with his wet thumb, forcing you to look him in the eye again. What the fuck was with this man and maintaining eye contact?

“Let’s get it over with, shall we?” He smoothed a hand down your arm and wrapped his fingers around your wrists.

Next thing you knew Steve was calling for Elias Asher, as he stretched your arm out; thumb pressing into your palm to make your fingers stretch.

Elias stumbled inside and almost tripped over his own feet at the sight the two of you displayed - you pressed against the bureau with Rogers’ intimidating size looming over you, your hand offered on a silver platter.

“You mentioned you need measurements for the ring size,” Steve intoned conversationally, “do what you must.”

You glared daggers at Steve, which he accepted unbothered. The jeweler’s fingers didn’t shake as he wrapped a small measuring tape around your finger and wrote down the result in his notebook. However, all the while he was staring either at your finger or his notes, never up at either of you.

That way it was easier to pretend the scene before him wasn’t close to intimate, or that he didn’t suspect you were being forced into marriage.

“What type of metal?” His voice wavered slightly.

“White gold,” came Steve’s decided reply.

Something told you that while he was giving you free will to organize the wedding however you liked, Steve had already chosen how your permanent shackle looks like.

You peeked at his hand, gaze sliding across the rings adorning his thick fingers. You noticed there was none on the finger on which a wedding band is worn. He was going to make sure that your rings matched the set he was already wearing.

“Pure and fierce, like my fiancée.” Steve added, with a mocking tilt.

“And the cut?” Elias scribbled down, not lifting his eyes at either of you even once.

Steve’s eyes sparked mischievously. His right hand moved up your thigh, squeezing your thick flesh through the fabric of your skirt.

“Cushion?” Steve mused aloud.

Then his touch moved upwards, along your ribcage and ghosting over the swell of your breast.

“Round?” He cupped your tit indecently, causing you to gasp in outrage that he dared to do it in front of someone.

That he dared to do it at all!

“No. We know which suits you best, right?” Steve’s hand ventured north, brushing your collarbone before his fingers curled around the front of your neck.

“A princess cut.”

Ringed fingers wrapped around your throat loosely, but it was a firm enough gesture to boil your blood and weaken your knees.

You couldn’t blame it on the fear of being strangled, because not a single thought about it entered your mind when Steve did that. Neither when he did it the first time, in his kitchen, nor now.

What you thought about was the power he spread over you and how it melted your resolve into an obedient puddle. Against all reason.

Unable to look away from Steve, you didn’t notice the jeweler leaving your office in a hurry, undoubtedly ready to drink away what he tried not to witness. You didn’t even hear the door close, your ears were filled with the sound of your own heart pounding in a quickened rhythm as Steve’s hold on you continued.

Slowly (it seemed reluctant, too), Steve loosened his grip. He didn’t move it away, though, shifting it only slightly, so his hand splayed like a necklace above your sternum.

You took a shaky breath in, cogs in your brain starting to turn anew.

“Why can’t we just sign the papers without this wedding party fuss?” You asked quietly, gaze shifting from Steve’s hold on your hand to his face.

He brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles before he let go of it and took a step away from you. He swiped a hand over his mouth then gave you a blank, almost condescending look.

“Because I need everyone convinced I’m here after your cute ass, Princess. Blind with love or lust, or whatever people want to believe in,” he winked at you, as if you were supposed to agree with his cynical assessment.

You thought quite the opposite. That no one sane would believe Steve Fucking Rogers was interested in you.

“Who would even believe that?” You snorted, frowning.

It wasn’t about insecurities of any kind; you were mildly confident both in your looks and your worth. However, men like Rogers didn’t even circle around women of your kind.

Men of power; men who rode the thin line of morality, mostly treading through the dark side; they went for women who craved such things. Women who suited that lifestyle. Women rotten at the core, or greedy (whether for wealth, or for power and influence). Or at least for women who looked really fucking good on their arms, like models and escorts.

No one, none of Steve’s rivals surely, would believe that he was simply courting you. You beside him made zero sense.

Steve laughed. Actually laughed. A warm, sparkling burst of amusement that made his handsome face gain impossible boyish charm.

“That a man got addicted to a sweet pussy?” He looked down at you, still grinning. But that grin transformed into a sly curve.

“Everyone, Princess.” He leaned closer, again; voice nearly purring as his lips brushed your cheek. “I can assure you that even at this moment they’re thinking I’m balls deep inside you.”

You couldn’t help the shiver that rocked your body. Judging by the way Steve’s eyes dragged down and up your frame, he noticed your reaction.

“I’m kinda thinking about it, too.” He licked his lips, drawing your hungry attention to them.

But the ire at his crude words snapped you out of daze. Your fingers curled in a fist and you pounded it against Steve’s chest when he pressed his weight into you.

“In your dreams!” You hissed.

Your small fist made no real impact against Steve’s hard chest. It didn’t deter him and it seemed he didn’t even feel any pain from the hit.

His hands returned to your body, boldly gripping your hips and holding you in place as he licked along your jaw. He flicked your earlobe with his tongue - a lewd tease that should disgust you, but instead made your pussy tingle.

“I’m dreaming of our wedding night.” Steve whispered before pulling away with a low chuckle at your wheeze.

“There will be no wedding night!” You pounded two of your fists against his chest. Futilely.

Steve regarded you with a look one may give to a small kitten trying to appear intimidating toward a wolf fifty times its size.

“I’ll make you a deal, Princess,” he tucked both thumbs beneath the hem of your blouse, his touch nearly scorching against your skin.

“On our wedding night, if I touch your sweet pussy and it’s dry, I’ll let you pick a bedroom for your own. So you can live in solitude, unbothered by my presence.” He sounded sincere, like it was a business deal he was really willing to propose.

Then his hips were pressing against yours, bulge in his pants prominent as he rocked it into you. Steve’s eyes flashed a dark gleam; his sensual lips parting enough to reveal a row of sharp teeth ready to take a hefty bite.

“But if I find your cunt leaking, as I know it is now-” his deep growl resonated straight to your clit.

“I’ll take a pound of flesh. And I’ll be taking you over and over and over again, until you lose your voice from screaming my name.”

You clutched at his shirt where your hands rested on his chest. You wanted to be able to shove him away, to punch away the beam of smug victory off Steve’s face. Reasonably, you knew you couldn’t do that without serious repercussions happening.

You were also too busy with the inner battle, fighting some fucked up, primal need to have Steve do to you exactly what he threatened.

The bastard was unfortunately right, you were soaked. Something you’d never admit to him.

Even if he pushed his big hand up your skirt and dipped his fingers straight into your dripping cunt, you’d deny it to his face. You’d deny it to yourself. Forever.

Thankfully, Rogers didn’t push further. He seemed satisfied with his stupid bet and that you didn’t fight back (even if you kept your mouth closed in fear of releasing a whimper). Steve let go of you, only lifting one hand to cup your chin.

“Now be good, Princess,” he commanded. “I don’t have time to deal with hysterical wedding planners.”

You grimaced - eyebrows drawing in a frown, nose scrunching up. You weren’t interested in dealing with wedding planning either, but you were aware Steve considered the topic closed. If you reopened it, he might do more than just bend you into obedience in front of a stranger.

“Then why did you come here?” You asked instead.

“I came for my distressed fiancée,” Steve’s grin was cheeky as he used his grip on your chin to slightly shake your head.

He squeezed a tad tighter and when your lips puckered he pecked them.

“You’ll get a big girl kiss when you start acting like one,” he added at your indignant glare.

Then released you and simply turned around to leave. You cursed him and called him names in your head. You prayed that one day you’ll get reckless enough to throw something at him, consequences be damned. For now, you still liked to be alive.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x you #dark!steve rogers #dark mafia!steve rogers #dark mafia!steve rogers x reader #dark mafia!steve rogers x female reader #dark steve rogers #touch the darkness #my writing

646 notes · View notes

bobsyourdylan · 7 months

Text

Okay, so – a few thoughts on Izzy’s death. I’m sure other people have also laid this out, but I haven’t stumbled across it yet, so this is partially for me to get my thoughts organized. For the record, I love Izzy – he fascinated me (in a horrified sort of way) in season 1, and then he grew on me significantly in season 2. What a weird little guy. But also – I’m fine with them killing him off, and also with how they did it, because I think it makes sense for the story. But I know that a lot of people are super upset about his death, and also about the way he died. So, a few semi-coherent thoughts on that:

Why not a sacrifice play?

This writer’s room is so self-aware, so deliberate about engaging with tropes – there is no possible way that they sat around breaking the story of Izzy’s death and no one said “woah, wouldn’t it be symbolic and gut-wrenching if he sacrificed himself for Ed? Or Stede?” No way. So why didn’t they go that route?

Izzy’s arc in season 2 has been all about becoming his own man, separate from Ed/Blackbeard. Like – that’s what he’s worked towards, this whole season. That is his growth. It would be insulting to take that away from him at the last minute, and make his death purely about Ed and Stede.

Listen, I love a sacrifice arc as much as the next person. But Izzy’s life isn’t about sacrifice anymore – that’s the whole point of his season 2 arc. He has spent decades sacrificing both himself and Ed to the altar of Blackbeard. No more.

It also means that Ed and Stede’s mourning doesn’t have to be tinged with the guilt of “he sacrificed himself to save me/my partner.” They can mourn Izzy purely for himself, because he is worth mourning. This, I would argue, is the send-off that Izzy’s character deserves.

Izzy’s death wasn’t accidental on Ricky’s part – it wasn’t a stray bullet.

We see from the scene when the crew is locked up in Spanish Jackie’s that Ricky recognizes Izzy. We know from their conversation that, for Ricky, Izzy is the epitome of piracy – Izzy, not Blackbeard, is the legend.

The thing is – Ed and Stede are both in the scene where Izzy dies (I’m not sure if you can see Stede on screen, but the bts photos show Rhys’ position, on what would be the far right of the shot). Arguably, Stede would have been the easier shot – Ricky wouldn’t have had to complete a full 180-degree turn before he could pull the trigger. So why doesn’t he go for Stede, who abandoned him to the tender mercies of Spanish Jackie in the first place? Or Blackbeard, arguably the greatest/most famous pirate alive, with the possible exception of Zheng, who he’s already targeted? Sure, you could argue that he’d going for Ed here… but I don’t think he is. The shot’s too low to be accidentally aimed for Izzy – it would hit Ed’s knee or something, probably. I think that yes, it’s a panicked shot, not well-aimed at all. But if it’s aimed at anyone, I think it has to be Izzy. And at the very least, the symbolism of it is very much not accidental.

For probably the first time since they created Blackbeard, Izzy isn’t just a stand-in for Ed. His significance is his own in this scene – in all of his interactions with Ricky. He’s not targeted because he’s Blackbeard’s first mate (why go for the first mate when you could go for Blackbeard?). He’s targeted because he’s Izzy Hands – because he is significant, powerful, famous, respected in and of himself.

And more than that – this is an arc about the end of piracy. And Izzy Hands is piracy – the show has been telling us from the beginning that piracy is a mixed bag, full of the good and the bad, and Izzy represents that – represents both the toxic, violent side of piracy, and the side of piracy that he grows into, that he explains to Ricky – piracy as family, home, belonging. Izzy dies, and it hurts, because not only is he a great character, but he represents in one person all of the complicated, hilarious, heartbreakin, violent, loving aspects of piracy – and of the show. But it is so, so important that Izzy dies as himself – not as a symbol or shield of Ed, or Stede, or Blackbeard. Not even as a symbol of piracy, but instead as the active embodiment of piracy – as something/someone who grows, changes, ends. Not as static or passive, but as better than when we first met him, as transformed as Buttons in his own way.

Izzy’s death sets up a possible revenge arc:

We know that everything in this show ties back to the main relationship between Ed and Stede. Izzy’s death is, I think, significant on its own, for him as a character – but it is also, by necessity, significant to Ed and Stede’s relationship. Namely – it sets up an interesting conflict for season 3 re: a potential revenge arc for Ed.

Now, clearly they’ve carefully ended season 2 on a relatively high note in case we don’t get a season 3. But we know they’re gonna be terrible at running an inn, and we know there’s unfinished business with Ricky. Ed’s current strategy of dealing with everything that’s happened seems to be “I don’t want to be a pirate, get me out of here” – which, while fair enough, won’t last, because that’s the nature of unfinished business. So, at some point, Ed and Stede are going to need to confront Ricky again. And, if the writers decide to lean into the revenge arc, I’d say the odds are pretty high that, when Ed lays eyes on Ricky again, we get a flashback to Izzy’s death.

And this sets us up for a pivotal, and necessary, moment in Ed’s character arc: when confronted with pain, loss, negative emotion in general – can Ed deal with it without losing himself? Ed needs a balance between the Kraken, Blackbeard, and Edward, and we see at the end of season 1 and beginning of season 2 how challenging that balance is for him to find, especially when confronted with loss or pain. We can see Ed working towards that balance when he’s interacting with Low – Low’s taunts don’t push Ed to violence, but instead get to Stede. But comparatively, Izzy’s loss is a much greater blow, and at some point, Ed is going to need to confront that.

Plus – we know the writing team are thinking of Izzy’s death at least partially in terms of the mentor/mentee arc, which often confronts the question of revenge – after the mentor’s death, the mentee is required to choose on their own how to go on, what kind of person they want to be. And this often requires a confrontation with both the mentor’s loss and a decision about how far they want to take their desire for revenge.

Why not a cooler death?

Okay — I get this criticism. I do. Izzy is an amazing fighter, we all love that about him. And you can keep most of the above symbolism and still have him die fighting two dozen British soldiers.

But — again — we are back to the root of this show: Ed and Stede.

Izzy has two deaths this season: one in the premiere, one in the finale. The first is Stede’s fantasy. Cool swordfight, and Stede triumphs, obviously — but the premise of the fight is that Izzy’s a great swordsman and Stede bests him because now Stede’s a great pirate. This is Stede’s ideal pirate fantasy.

But Izzy’s actual death is not like this. It is messy and inelegant and painful and no one gets any glory from it at all and Ed is crying with Izzy dying in his arms, and Stede wants to help, goes for bandages, but he doesn’t know what to do and it’s not enough anyways — And this is not a fantasy anymore. This is piracy, and this is the piracy that Ed wants to escape. And it’s important that Stede sees this, sees what Ed is done with.

And it’s also important that Stede tries to save Izzy. Izzy isn’t just a symbolic barrier between Stede and Ed anymore, to be sacrificed to Stede’s reunion fantasy. He’s his own person, with his own death, and Izzy has grown, yes, but so has Stede.

And by using Izzy’s death to make this point, we both get Stede learning the reality of piracy and growing beyond his fantasy, and the glorious fantasy fight kiss i love you reunion between Ed and Stede (if Ed and Stede had reunited by fighting off dozens of British soldiers, but Izzy had died doing the same, the dissonance would have messed with both the death and the reunion, because we the audience wouldn’t be able to distinguish between the fantasy and reality worlds). And getting both of these is the premise of the show — fantasy and reality both.

And sure — you can be mad that the show used Izzy in this way. But that is the show’s premise — everything is in service of the protagonists and their relationship. This is not a surprise— it’s been openly talked about since day 1.

You don’t have to like what the writers did. You don’t have to agree that it was the correct choice. But they have proven to us, time and time again over the last year, that they are self-aware and careful with this show that they know we love so much. So we absolutely owe it, to them and to ourselves, to ask why they made a choice that not everyone may agree with. What is the payoff? Why did they decide to do this thing that they knew would upset fans? Because we know it’s not that they hate us. So what is it? You don’t have to agree that the payoff is worth it. But do the writers, and the show, and yourself the favor of recognizing that there is a payoff here.

#screaming into the void #as someone who studies and teaches literary analysis for a living #i am begging everyone to please at least try to think through the reasons for this arc #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #the izcourse #ofmd s2 meta #ofmd meta #our flag means death #our flag means death s2 #i’m gonna regret getting involved and i know it #but i just had to get this off my chest

271 notes · View notes

riririnnnn · 4 months

Text

Warning: Anime Spoilers.

I think about this panel a lot:

And this one too:

I don't understand why people think that Sae changed after Spain. I mean, that boy has always been blunt and rude. After calling Rin incredible the day the younger Itoshi barged into his soccer match, Sae never actually praised Rin; that boy literally said, "If it's you, then you can be the best after me." He had always criticised Rin's play/goals and was never really like, "Ooh, my cute patootie lil otouto."

Also, this:

Imagine coming back home after 4 years, and your little brother accuses you of changing. Further, this was the first time, when Rin talked back to his Nii-chan; we need to get Sae's perspective of this flashback too.

Sae literally had his suitcase with him when he came to that field; that boy's ass landed and the first thing he did is to go to his little brother.

And:

Of course, Sae would bet like this. Rin himself said, "Nii-chan doesn't like losing." Also, is that just drawing style or those are eyebags/dark circles under Sae's eyes? And Rin literally pointed out, "Have you lost weight?" It's clearly visible that whatever happened in Spain, Sae wasn't in his happiest state.

It also wasn't like Sae jumped onto Rin on sight. The older Itoshi had tried to explain how different is the world stage and lalalalala, it was Rin himself who was acting naïve and immature, and didn't give Sae proper time to explain himself.

But this:

I agree is really harsh, but if we take in account of the fact that Sae has been a rude person from the start, then what he said isn't really wrong. Rin's inner monologue was literally, "Can I be cool like Nii-chan too?" when he barged into the soccer match.

It isn't/wasn't completely Sae's fault for Rin to idolise him.

Also, I don't blame Sae for hating Japan's soccer/football (whatever you call it) because imagine being treated as a nation's treasure at the age of 13 years old, only to find that you ain't shit in the world (as pointed out by Sendou, Sae is only a reserve in Royale Madrid/Re Al).

To sum everything up, I do think that Sae got a really harsh slap from reality in Spain, and he really didn't want Rin to go through the same. That's why he tried to explain Rin about everything only to realise that Rin's main aim was never to be the best striker in the world, it was just to be with his Nii-chan, and it irked Sae. After whatever happened in Spain, Sae must've made some kind of safe place in Rin that he could see his dream come true through his younger brother, but Rin wasn't heading to that direction especially when he couldn't even defeat Sae and there are, as stated by Sae himself, better player in the whole world than him— must've been a hard hit for Sae to know that his dreams have really ended; maybe that's why he was so interested in Blue Lock? He could finally see someone who could make his dream be true after all; maybe that's why he is so obsessed with passing to the best striker in world (I'm referring to his wish to make the best pass to the best striker in the world if it were to be his last day on Earth) because he is seeing his own dream in that person.

This post might seem jumbled and it is jumbled, but it's my first time trying to make some kind of theory, so please be kind.

Edit: Sae isn't a reserve in Royale Madri/Re Al. He is a second division player. Sorry, I misread some things.

#blue lock #bllk #itoshi rin #itoshi sae #blue lock theory #bllk theory #idk how tags work #雪 ranting

154 notes · View notes

carabalism · 1 year

Text

baby

pairing(s) twd x teen!reader, rick grimes x teen!reader (platonic)

synopsis y/n went through hell and back for a baby she didn’t even know the name of. but now she finally meets the father of the baby.

warning(s) canon-typical violence/gore

masterlist

“you’re gonna be okay.. shhh..” y/n whispered to the baby wrapped to y/n’s chest securely with a sheet covering her. y/n had rubbed her body with the guts of a walker to camouflage amongst the walkers, but she couldn’t bring herself to put any of it on a baby, “we got this baby.”

y/n had judith hidden under the sheet, so that her scent would be covered too. she was relieved that the baby made little to no noise, occasionally crying when she needed something, but this wasn’t such a fussy baby.

“we’ll get to terminus,” y/n mumbled, every inch of her body ached, burned, hurt. her eyes stung with every blink they took, her eyelids heavy from her lack of sleep and her throat dry. the weight of two bags was getting to her, but she urged her body to move on. for baby.

y/n had found the prison, destroyed and littered with walkers. but she also found judith, alone and screaming with walkers approaching. y/n saved judith. the teenage girl had saved the baby’s life and dedicated everything she had to return the baby to its family. no matter how long it took. she was determined to find out what her name was - “baby” didn’t seem like such a good guess.

explosions.

up the track there were explosions.

up the track was terminus.

a newfound energy kicked into y/n’s body and she began running towards the explosions. tears stung her tired eyes as she ran, holding judith as closely as she could. this was her last hope. terminus was supposed to be it.

a small cabin caught her eye and she decided that it would be a good place to hide out until she could be sure the coast was clear. with her gun raised she swung the door open quickly, ready for anything. what she found was a man tied up on the ground and another man with a beanie on, leaning against the wall.

“what the hell is going on here?” y/n glared at both the men, her gun pointing at the man not tied up.

“put the gun down, it’s not what it looks like.” tyreese raised his hands, “he’s from terminus… terminus isn’t what it seems.”

y/n eyed tyreese suspiciously, but one look at the smirking man on the ground, she could tell who the real threat was.

“i don’t want to have to hurt any of you, i’m just trying to find someone.” y/n explained, her gun still raised and aimed at the tied up man.

“i’m tyreese, if you put the gun down i’ll help you look for them as soon as this is over,” he smiled, his words sounding sincere. y/n wondered how he had survived so long but remain kind. she didn’t remember the last time a stranger was nice to her.

“i’m y/n…” y/n looked down at the dirty blanket covering judith, she lifted it slightly to show tyreese her head, “this is baby.”

tyreese’s eyes widened and he looked at y/n in complete shock, “is she..”

“can’t believe there’s kids having kids now and calling them baby! what a joke.” the man tied up on the ground laughed.

“she’s not mine, asshole.” y/n rolled her eyes, “i woke up one day and heard explosions, when i got there everything was already gone… it was a prison.”

“a prison?” tyreese’s voice shook, the realisation hitting him that judith was alive, “judith..?”

y/n looked at tyreese in shock, “judith?”

“judith grimes,” tyreese nodded, he seemed slightly dazed, but happy, “can i see her?”

y/n hesitantly pulled the blanket off judith and revealed the baby to the man, “you know her? do you know her parents?”

“this is so touching,” a scoff left the man’s lips and he rolled his eyes.

“you speak again and i’ll kill you.” y/n glared at the hostage.

“big guy over here won’t let you.”

“no one has to get hurt.” tyreese sighed, not wanting the teenage girl to shoot the man. especially not a kid.

“do you know baby’s parents?” y/n repeated her question, “sorry- judith.”

“her father… i knew him, but i haven’t seen him since the prison fell, we were hoping to find him at terminus if he made it. that’s where he would go if he made it.”

y/n sat down on a chair in the corner of the cabin, she unwrapped judith from her midriff. rocking her back and forth, y/n whispered to the baby about how she’d see her father again.

“you realise you’re going to have to kill me right?” the man spoke up again, making y/n roll her eyes.

“we don’t.” tyreese stared at y/n, silently pleading with her, “we don’t.”

“c’mon man, he’s tied up and you said he’s bad people,” y/n argued, “keeping him alive is doing no good to anyone. he’s a threat.”

“he’s tied up, you said yourself, he can’t hurt us.” tyreese pleaded.

everything felt heavy. there was a constant ringing that y/n couldn’t get rid of, her body moved on its own as her vision went in and out of focus. a shiver ran down her spine and in response a sob leapt out of her mouth as she hugged the baby close, tucking judith’s head under her chin.

blood stained her hands and each glimpse of red that she caught, the more she sobbed.

“hey.. hey, look at me,” y/n heard a distant voice, “look at me, hey!”

y/n stared into tyreese’s eyes and choked on a sob, “i’m s-sorry.”

the prisoner the two kept had inevitably attempted an escape and when tyreese couldn’t put a stop to him, y/n did. she gutted the man. stabbed him repeatedly. and finally a stab to the head to permanently end him.

“don’t be sorry.” tyreese shook his head, holding y/n by the shoulders as he crouched down in front of her, “you did good. you saved judith.”

“i-is she o-okay?” y/n tried to speak, but each word was almost impossible for her to say. she kept gasping for more air between words.

“she’s fine, she’s okay, we’re all okay.” tyreese smiled, “we have to get up now, you can finally meet her father.”

“really?” y/n whispered, she was slowly slipping out of her daze and noticed the group of people standing a few metres away.

“yeah,” tyreese grinned and helped her up, despite her shakiness she walked with tyreese to the group of people. a boy ran to her and immediately took judith from her grasp and hugged her. a man wasn’t so far behind and when he reached her he wrapped his arms around her and engulfed her in a tight hug.

“thank you,” the man cried, “thank you.”

y/n hugged the man back, a smile on her face. she had returned baby back to her family. she completed her mission.

“if she responds to the word baby sometimes, that might be because i started calling her that.” y/n smiled nervously as the man pulled away.

“i can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done,” he shakes his head in disbelief, grabbing judith from the boy and holding her close, pressing a kiss on her head and holding his tears back, “how old are you?”

“I’m fifteen? maybe sixteen..” y/n paused to think, “i’ll go with sixteen.”

“how many walkers have you killed?” he asked, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“a lot, never kept track though,” y/n shrugged.

“how many people have you killed?” rick questioned.

y/n’s face immediately turned sour, the question caught her off guard and made her mind flash memories she wanted to forget.

“two.”

“why?”

y/n looked down at judith who had fallen asleep in her father’s arms, “they tried to kill your baby.”

rick nodded, taking in the girl’s words, “i understand. i’m sorry you had to do that.”

“i wouldn’t have done anything different, i wanted to learn her name rather than calling her baby all day,” y/n smiled softly at judith, “she’s great company too.. totally nails the small talk.”

rick laughed and smiled at his son, who was smiling back at him, holding onto judith’s hand.

“i’m rick grimes, this is my son carl,” rick introduced himself and carl, “you already know judith of course.”

“she’s told me a lot about you guys,” y/n smirked.

“she spoke?” carl’s eyes widened. rick pulled his son into a side hug and just laughed.

“she was joking,” he whispered to carl.

“the others are michonne, maggie, glenn, daryl, carol, tara, abraham, rosita, sasha and eugene,” rick pointed everyone out, “you’re free to join us, i owe you.”

“i’m y/n,” y/n grinned, “i’m glad i found you.”

#twd x reader #twd x teen!reader #rick grimes x teen!reader #rick grimes x reader #twd fanfiction #the walking dead #twd

755 notes · View notes

roseofhybrids · 10 months

Text

Something I've been thinking about after the "solver is taking over Uzi and she might have to get mercy killed just like her mom" development

A tense situation to be sure, these drones are definitely gonna have a lot to go through with these last 2 episodes. But we can all guess it'll turn out ok in the end on the basis that, that's just how stories tend to go. A meta, non-diegetic reason not to worry.

But I'm looking for a little in universe hope that they'll manage to fix this, and I think I've found one. To explain it, we need to first take a look at Tessa and V. (prepare for a lot of reading, sorry in advance)

So, Tessa has made her thoughts pretty clear during her talk with N. This is a "for the greater good" scenario, it's either kill Uzi or the Absolute Solver kills everyone. Painful but understandable.

But then we have V. When she carries Uzi back to the others, she insists they leave right then and there, and waits for N to join her.

But he hesitates because of what Tessa has told him. V is let in on this fact when Tessa tells him she hasn't been honest with V yet. The fact Tessa says this while comforting N as he hesitates tells V that Tessa said something to him to plant doubt in his mind. It also implies, to N, that V doesn't know the gravity of the situation. But that just isn't true V has just witnessed what Uzi is capable of first hand in the operating room. Hell, she's witnessed a lot of the solver's power first hand. Such as when Uzi attacked her in episode 4, and when CYN mutated her in 5. She knows this thing is dangerous. The look she gives before they leave the operating room, and her reaction to Uzi trying to her powers when they find Doll's trap, says as much.

When Tessa offers to take a look at Uzi. V immediately shows hostility towards her over not controlling the sentinels like she said she could. Then there's her line after Tessa tells N she hasn't been honest with V. It makes sense for her to be mad after Tessa implies she's been keeping something from her. But rather than directing her next question at Tess, and saying something like: "Not honest about what?" or "What haven't you told me?". She instead turns to N and asks, "What did she tell you?" Her tone isn't just angry, it's accusatory. They're interrupted by Uzi waking up, and we get this look between Tessa and V.

A blank stare met with anger and fear.

This scene seems to put Tessa and V on separate sides.

Tessa believes there's no other option but to kill off the infected drones. She doesn't want to kill Uzi, but leaving her alive puts the universe at risk. Tessa's seen what the solver did with CYN. She's seen what it did to her parents, to the other drones, to the Earth, possibly what it did to other planets, and she can't let that happen again.

V on the other hand is protecting Uzi, something that would be pretty uncharacteristic of her before. When Uzi first shows she has her solver powers at the end of episode 3, her first reaction is to take aim with her gun. And in 4, she is shown to be terrified when Uzi turns that arrow into a flesh monster. V was still willing to kill Uzi because she was showing signs of solver infection. She only stopped when N got Uzi to calm down during her rampage. After that she was willing to cover up that Uzi ate her classmates, and now she's willing to give up interrupting CYN's plan, just so they can get an injured Uzi out of there.

Tess is 100% up for killing Uzi if it means saving everyone. V, not so much. It's hard to say that she'd let the universe get destroyed to protect her new friend. But, at the very least, V seems in favor of trying to find another solution.

It's a basically the trolley problem. Tessa's answer is - flip the switch so that only 1 person dies. V's answer is - isn't there another way?

This leaves N in between the two. Where he might have to make that choice (read might as definitely going to, because that's just how stories tend to go).

Do nothing and let 5 people die, or flip a switch so only 1 person dies Do nothing and let the universe be destroyed, or kill your best friend (read friend as love interest, like this is a historical account of two "very good friends". Because while it hasn't been outright been said aloud, that's just how stories tend to go).

So who is N to side with?

And to get what I think will be the answer, we need to look at V's says at the very end of the episode. Her final words to N and Uzi before the elevator falls.

N is yelling out for her to come with them, that they need her. V dismisses this with a simple "nah." Not even a proper no. She just brushes off the idea that they need her to come with them. Up till now, she's been trying to protect N from the truth (she did this in some pretty nasty ways, but that was her intent). But now he knows about the Absolute Solver and what happened back at the manor. He's stood up to both J and V, he's not going to go down without a fight. N doesn't need any protecting, she's willing to let him handle this alone.

Then she turns to Uzi and simply says: "Uzi, I trust you." I think is V saying she trusts that Uzi won't turn out like CYN did. She trusts her to find a way to fix this.

It's because of this that I believe the show is building up to have N side with V on this.

So they'll to stick together, move forward together, or not at all. They can work together to fix this instead of all the murder.

Ok, that's enough quoting the other episodes for parallels

So there you have, just some ideas to hold on to till we see this season end

#murder drones #episode 6 #murder drones episode 6 #media analysis #i think?#could just be rambling #you were wrong about the raptors Tess you can be wrong about the murder too

259 notes · View notes

redbatchedcumbermayned · 6 days

Text

I have recorded different versions of my name, and the last time I was told it was Haynrix and I was like, really? Haynrix? - Interviewing Chris Tester part 3

We contiune talking about the transformative power of fanworks, a bit more about romancing Heinrix, how Heinrix is pronounced actually, what a dream come through project would be for Chris and why a stage production of Crime and Punishment was his most memorable work to date and his newly discovered interest in playing D&D.

Part 1 of the interview

Part 2 of the interview

This is the final part of the interview. Thank you so much for reading and listening! (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.

F: It's very transformative. You take a game and you get your own stories after the game or with the people you interact with. It's very creative. Because Heinrix is very much an archetype, as you said, he has this duality about this very authoritative man with so much trauma underneath. There is a lot to explore, and that speaks for Olga's writing as well, because only a very well written character would draw you in like that into a story.

CT: I mean, it's a crazy balancing act, definitely. And at any time, it could close off, you shut him down, or he shuts you down. And you're like, Oh, okay.

F: And it was incredibly funny that the first romance lines straddled the line between workplace harassment and flirting. And he is so unnerved and then it doesn't like to cordon you off and say, well, you were too aggressive. Game over.

CT: Yeah.

You can switch to this closeness path like in a real relationship, you are maybe very flirty, very teasy at the beginning, and then things get real and you get real and it changes. And that was very dynamic. I never experienced that before. BioWare writes great romances, but they are often very one note in their games.

CT: And there's still the kind of like, okay, so are we sleeping together? Yeah. Or we do not. All right. No, okay, great, fine. God, I had to go through all the different fucking options just to go like, Is this, is that, no, no, okay, fine, right, yeah. So in terms of nuance and dynamic, it's you've got your issues over there, but regardless, can I just say the right thing? Uh, or not, you know, or be pure, or whatever. Garrus was always a favourite for me.

F: Oh yeah, Garrus, Garrus is great.

CT: Yeah, yeah. I'll be honest I didn't really appreciate quite how subtly all of the pieces are put together until I played through bits of the game and watched bits of the game afterwards [this relates to Rogue Trader]. Because there are so many different moving parts, but also so much is recorded out of order, it's very difficult to get a full appreciation of the whole, and it's the credit of the directors to just be able to give you enough for you to get it in two or three takes, because we gotta move on because time is money is time.

And so that's kind of crazy, where you've got to just act in faith in the moment and trust that the people who are listening on the other end feel as if they're getting what they need. Obviously the more you record, the more you get a sense of what the character is about and the palette and the playfulness and all of those kinds of things. But because there are such a multitude of choices anyway, no one can explain to you exactly the context of what it is because that's all such a movable feast as it is anyway.

F: That's a huge credit to voice actors to still get it right in three or four takes.

CT: Well, the aim is to give them options so that they can trial it out and be able to have a playfulness about things. It's always nice when you go like, I'm just going to try this different take on how this might traditionally be read as or something, and then you maybe hear that in the game and go like: Oh, okay, that's a little bit of whatever.

Because quite often you'll probably be told to read a line no more than three times, and the first time that you read a line, that you read it out loud is the first time that you read the line at all. So, you don't read it in advance, and sometimes that goes in. It's normally the second or third take, I would say, but that depends very much on the voice actor. Because quite often, the whole point is to be quite good at sight reading, and sometimes there's a spontaneity in the reading of something for the very first time, which might give something a little bit unexpected, or a little bit fresher.

And then you realise halfway through, there's a word I have no idea how to pronounce. Is it von Valancius? Von Valancius as it's written or von Valen and you're just like, the hell? Okay. And then you need to go back.

F: Or his name actually, because as a German, we have Heinrich as a first name. So is it Haynrix? Is this Hainrix? But we can say it's Low Gothic, so it doesn't matter.

CT: I have recorded different versions of my name, and the last time I was told it was Haynrix and I was like, really? Haynrix? Okay. Sure? But I've not had a definitive conversation about that, so I don’t know whether or not they change it or, or whatever.

F: I settled on, it's Low Gothic and not the German version and it's fine because that's a fantasy language. It doesn't matter. And I know from other voice actors that sometimes you don't get any directions on how something is pronounced.

CT: Quite often we're just taking an educated guess. I mean, they're very good in terms of some pronunciations, but if no other character is saying this word except you, then there's probably not a guide for it in which case you just make sure that you record it somewhere. So, it's consistent. So, if you're saying it more than once, at least you're saying it wrong consistently. So that becomes the new, right?

F: What was your most memorable work to date? Stage or voice acting?

CT: Stage or voice acting or whatever? God, I would say one was a production of Crime and Punishment. There you go. It was a three-person adaptation of the massive book really condensed into about 90 minutes, essentially. Quite a radical adaptation, but it was a beautifully written adaptation, and I think I did it probably about 2017, 2018. That was wonderful storytelling because it had so much of the original flavour in it and also this ambiguity of character. A much more ambiguous character than someone like Heinrix. Someone who is so eminently fallible and flawed, and yet trying to find a through line through it and a making of sense and the justification for the reasons why people do bad things. That is pretty iconic for me as an experience.

I do feel lucky that a lot of the things that I'm able to explore in the video game or in the voiceover world generally are completely new and unexpected things. Whereas on stage, unless you're doing a lot of new writing, the vast majority of the time, it's a role that you're familiar with or have seen or have heard about. It's pre-existing. Whereas with some of these video games, you get to create that whole original world or character and that kind of stuff. Which is why if anybody asks me, what role do you want to play? I'm like, the role that I don't know exists yet, and Heinrix is very much one of those. Like, I had no idea and neither did I have any idea that it would develop in the way that it did.

But the whole process itself is a lot of fun and you work with very cool people to tell a completely new and original story. But having that ambiguity, having that tension within the character, every actor has to find that for themselves anyway, just to keep creatively engaged and alive, but have that so vividly running as an undercurrent and for it to be able to go in different ways, that's such a cool kind of thing. I'm just so up for more of those kinds of opportunities. Maybe hopefully in the future, we'll see.

F: Has voicing Heinrix opened any doors? Did you notice an uptake in offers?

CT: I think it means that a few more people probably know who I am, and that's cool. A few more people. Yeah, it's definitely been referred to. Other than that, I don't know. But it certainly doesn't hurt being involved in such a high profile and well respected, well-loved game. I mean, for me as well, because I've done various different aspects of stuff in that world. That doesn't hurt.

I love the whole Warhammer 40k universe, at the same time I don't want to just be like, I'm a 40k actor and that's all I do because that world also probably doesn't need just another white middle-class man in it, even if that is like 70 percent of the world. Like you say, they're trying to broaden it out and diversify it and necessarily if it wants to get to a bigger audience and have a healthier ecology on so many different kinds of levels. So, I don't want to go all in on just that, even if it's a very rich world. So, it was a real pleasure.

F: Would you want to broaden your repertoire into radio plays, because I know on your LinkedIn, you write, you're the voice when Cumberbatch is busy and listening to you, there are undertones of Benedict Cumberbatch in your voice, and Benedict before he became really popular, he did something like Cabin Pressure, which is so fun.

CT: Yeah.

F: Would you be open to doing radio plays like that?

CT: Definitely. I've just recently come from a voiceover conference in the UK and did a couple of workshops and that reminded me of what the work is that I want to actively seek out. And there's a lot of audio drama stuff floating about, a lot of that is available via social media or is operated in the U.S. as opposed to in the UK., though there are some great ones in the UK. as well, and it's tricky to know why and how to validate some of those things. So, it's something that I would love to explore doing more of as well as, you know, you can do these audio drama things, which are kind of like shorter versions of audio books, almost essentially with not so many voices. And I think those medium and short form ways of storytelling would be lovely. It would be great because I'm not right for a lot of video games.

I don't think I'll ever be actually a very prolific video game actor if that makes sense because I'm okay at shouting and I can play some monsters and I've got a couple of accents in the bag and that kind of thing in terms of doing voices. People will say it's about the acting Chris, it's not about voices, but doing some voices and being able to nail certain things there are people that are brilliant at that. But there are people who have probably a wider palette of voices than I will ever have.

I never started out as a voice actor. I'm very much an actor who uses the voice, and I'm trying to broaden that out a little bit more as I keep on going. But I want to open myself up to more different types of stuff to be creatively fulfilled. The prospect of going into a recording session and screaming “grenade” and “bang” is not very fulfilling. I did that for a few games, and then I'm done with that. Like the money's not good enough for me to do that. I mean, never say never. If the money does become good enough, then we can talk. But you push your voice and it's a different kind of acting, I'll put it that way.

F: So, last question. What would be a dream come true project for you?

CT: A dream come true project? Probably something entirely original that I can't imagine. I would love to be able to work on an audio project where I'm working with other actors in real time. I would love to be able to work with most of the cast in Rogue Trader, for example, but I’d love it for us to be able to have dialogues where you're actually responding to each other as opposed to insert A, B or C here, that kind of thing. Because that's the one thing I kind of miss so much from the audio side of work is you getting something unexpected from the other person and then riffing off it. You have to self-generate as a voice actor that a director will go do you want to try it like this? Or maybe like this, it's supposed to be funny. Try it dead pan, that kind of thing.

But quite often that kind of spontaneous element of discovery only comes from when someone gives you a line in a way that you really didn't expect, and maybe it makes you laugh, when it's supposed to be tragic or whatever, those kinds of things. The biggest thing I miss about stage work is when you're working with an actor at the top of your game and they raise you up to their level. It's terrifying, but in the best way. Some actors can do that effortlessly because they're so in the moment, because they don't know what they're going to do next, even though they can find their light and make sure that the audience is still seeing their brilliant acting at the same time. Clever, clever bunnies. That feeling because they don't know exactly where they're going, you're kind alive to the moment in a way that quite often you're not, and if there was a way to be able to replicate that in an audio way and a long form storytelling way, then that would be cool.

I've just started playing a little bit of D&D and I don't know if I'll ever get good at that, especially in terms of like, so I've got to come up with words. Oh my God. Whereas I will never watch a D&D playthrough for four hours on YouTube myself, personally, life choice, I can start to understand the appeal of that because there's an element of that spontaneity and playfulness, but in a group. So, if there was a way to do that with actually scripted drama, I'd be all in on that. That would be amazing. Or some kind of hybrid. So I don't know exactly what that is, but that kind of thing would be quite cool.

F: That's what the BBC did with Cabin Pressure. I attended one live recording and it was just amazing. You have all the other actors [apart from Benedict Cumberbatch] that are household names. And to see them act and how little takes they actually need for the lines and everything is amazing.

CT: Yeah, there's an appreciation of the craft, but it's also the fact that it's not into a void. It's not like, okay, we've done three. Is that okay? We're onto the next. I think in many ways it can make the work much easier, because you're using your imagination, but in a different way, because you're operating with a stimulus. And that's always exciting.

F: And good D&D is just like improv theatre.

CT: Yeah, exactly.

F: Really good players are spontaneous. Just very creative.

CT: That should be celebrated and I think harnessing more of those kinds of things would be fun, because in all honesty, still probably about 60, 70 percent of the work that I do is in the corporate and business sphere. That's just because of how I sound. I didn't go out to court that work particularly, but in terms of the stuff that pays the bills regularly, that's the kind of stuff that I do. Even then, you're trying to find levels of playfulness or colour so that you're not just coming over with: “in a world where you can trust a big corporation to take your money.” So, there's any kind of nuance or subtlety to that, that will be a good thing. So that's the kind of stuff that I crave as a result.

F: Thank you for your time.

CT: Oh, my pleasure.

F: It went by so fast. We went over time; I still have a lot more questions.

CT: Oh, sorry.

F: No, no, no, no, no, no. That, that's, that's absolutely fine. Thank you.

#chris tester #heinrix van calox #rogue trader #warhammer 40k #rogue tradercrpg #owlcat games

54 notes · View notes

a-world-with0ut-dr34ms · 10 months

Text

Ghost x City Girl Reader

You expected Ghost to leave you before the morning; he usually does. However, you're surprised to see him rush to your aid after being woken up by violent night terrors. A sweet and unexpected moment between you, that only ends as quickly as it began.

Tags: Romance, Drama, slight Hurt/Comfort, slight Angst, Intimacy, Fluff that turns sour, Mask-Kissing, Arguing, Swearing, Enemies to Lovers, FWB, Jealousy, Toxic Relationships, "Couples", Arguing, Swearing, A Little Melodramatic, I'm aiming for something more real though, Reader is somewhat bratty and immature, Ghost is bad at communicating his feelings, Damaged people not knowing how to talk to each other and let their walls down, reader has night terrors, I wanted representation!

WC: 4.5k~

Author's Note: I'm back from Vegas! I was on a drunken bender on Fremont St. partying with my brother for his birthday this week (I talked to a lot of interesting people too 😏). This chapter might be a little different, I don't know? I'm not gonna lie, after this chapter, the tone is about to take a shift. Please enjoy~

Also, thank you so much @argella1300 for helping me out when I asked. Your insight was greatly appreciated and it really meant a lot! 💞

Masterlist

It came in the dim shade of dusk, tucked in by shadows of your hall -- the abnormally tall silhouette of a man. Stalking you. Haunting you.

He looms at the brink of your hallway, expressionless, unmoving, and yet somehow inching forward all at once. With each step he closes between you and himself, an encroaching darkness fills the room behind him within the blink of an eye.

Who was he? It's a question you've had since adolescence. The answers never felt as true as his unsettling existence.

The world around you is silent, fogged as though you were being held underwater, your mind racing at an incoherent speed. The only sounds you hear are that of your own screaming. You knew what was happening; your body and mind had just been unable to control it.

Night terrors.

You've never told anyone about them before; you've never felt any need to. It's not exactly a hot topic of discussion, nor something you could even put forth any real value into if asked; you can't explain something you don't understand.

They haven't been anything beyond a waking three-minute inconvenience. An on-and-off occurrence throughout your life. But once it happens, there'd be no avoiding it.

They send your body into a mindless, cold panic, the only emotion coursing through your veins being the unknown fear that first woke you. Your arms thrash frantically as you scream, your body feeling as though it were being grabbed by a million hands...

Don't touch me, your mind cries out. Don't touch me. Don't touch me...

...Until you've felt the one, very real hand touch your shoulder, taking with it the darkness you'd thought had all but swallowed you whole and replacing it with the waking world around you.

The morning returns, as do the rest of its unpleasant realities.

"Hey." That deep and raspy Manchester voice is the first sound you finally register, and for once in your life, it couldn't have sounded any sweeter. "Hey," Ghost says again, placing both hands gently over your shoulders to wake you. "Everything's OK. You're in your living room."

Your chest heaves shallow breaths when sitting up on your couch, taking in your surroundings. That's right, you're still in your living room. You'd almost forgotten you'd passed out on your couch last night, now catching the breaking dawn which pooled through your windows.

It always takes you a moment to regather yourself after it happens, having to make sense of what had been real versus some strange in-between with you and your REM state. In those moments, everything felt real, and fake all at once.

Even the shattering and reforming of reality around you could not take your mind from Ghost's hand, which remained wrapped protectively over your arm, fingers trembling with the hesitancy of his own actions.

"Are you alright?" His dark eyes look your face up and down, taking in every twinge your lips made and how your eyes seemed to look in every direction but his own, still glossed over and dazed from sleep. "You just started screamin' out of nowhere."

Once his words run through your head a few more times, you realize that you'd made a scene right in front of the one person you hadn't wanted to know this about you, a new detail he no doubt did not expect from you at all.

Ghost has known you to be many things -- seductive, witty, cold, distant, and near every other synonym in between. He's heard your voice moan in pleasure more times enough to recognize it within a crowd; he's heard you hurl enough insults his way to send even the hardest of soldiers home crying and insecure.

Never has he heard you scream like this before, with such fear and strife. In fact, he can't think of a single time you've ever been so frightened around him. To see a glimpse of that had been more unsettling than he wished to let on.

He'd only woken up a few minutes shy of you, having slipped away to fix himself up and reset his balaclava. His lips had still felt stained by your kiss from last night, the skin on his face tingling off the memory of your touch alone.

Nearly two months he's spent with you in this odd, little fling and he's never actually kissed you like he had last night before. Never for so long. Never so deeply. He wouldn't allowed himself to. Kissing just for the sake of it always felt like a step beyond casual, as much as he often craved your lips on his most exhausting days.

Ghost must have stared at himself in the mirror longer than he should have, just chasing that feeling again, making himself sick with it. He debated on leaving before you woke, though he'd keep that to himself, having heard your screaming once he'd rounded the corner. In which case, Ghost ran to your aid without question.

His first thought had been that you were in danger; perhaps someone had broken in, or worse, you'd been hurt. You might get on the man's nerves, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't care about your well-being at least somewhat. He never wished any harm to you, and he damn sure wouldn't let anything happen to you if he can help it.

The archway between your hall and you had felt as foreign and distant as space itself, however. When Ghost found you on your couch, your arms writhing, and wide eyes locked on him with confusion and terror, he had frozen in place.

For a split second, he thought that fear had been caused by the sheer sight of him. And then, the strangest thing had happened -- it tore him to pieces being given a glimpse of a reality he didn't know he feared most of all. One where the sight of him brought you complete anguish.

Your screaming didn't stop when he approached you, nor had it stopped when he knelt beside you, saying your name and asking what was wrong, only falling on deaf ears.

Nothing had stopped your screaming, nor these emotions that ripped at him, until his hand had touched your shoulder, and you both felt the sensation of one another.

Your features calmed, your gaze softening at the sight of him, now having been pulled from that sudden trance. In a matter of seconds, you'd just barely managed to get your breathing to a more manageable pace, your heart not drumming so loudly in your ears. You played his words in your head, again and again, until you've slowly regained composure. Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

Had you noticed he had this effect on you? Ghost imagines you'll only carry on as though it were just another thing; the kindest of gestures are often the hardest to notice in the moment, and you never did like to dwell. It only took years' worth of tragedies for Ghost to be able to recognize them himself. Though every now and then, it isn't something he can catch either. He only wishes this hadn't been one of those times.

Embarrassment and shame flood within you like a crashing wave, though you mask it in an annoyed groan, turning your body away from Ghost in hopes he'd take the hint and give you some space. You always hated when this happened around others, most of all around the men you slept with. Slowly, you prepared yourself for your usual dose of reactions.

"I'm fine," you say. "I just... I'm fine." You rub your hands over your face in defeat, before sinking your head into them with a low groan.

There had been reasons you didn't sleep over or have others do the same often, this being one of them. You didn't need to have another guy slowly ghost you because you scared him awake at 2am in a frantic panic; the best way to avoid it would be to not put yourself in the situation at all, right?

But what happened last night hadn't been like any of your normal nights with Ghost. Last night had been something... not quite the same. There had to be some reason you haven't sent him home yet otherwise. You wondered if it had been the same reason why he hadn't gone home yet either.

"Fuckin' hell," Ghost sighs. "You might've woken the neighbors with that one."

"It's nothin' they're not used to," you say casually, though the second you do, you wish you hadn't been so cavalier about it. You hadn't meant to invite him into your world like this.

However, no one had been more understanding of these sorts of troubles than he; Ghost knew what a pain it could be feeling as though you needed to explain emotions you had no control over. So he wouldn't ask you what that was about, or why you think it may have happened. He didn't need to know anything beyond the fact that you were OK.

"Well," Ghost sits down beside you on the couch with a dramatic "oomph", huffing to himself with a certain contentment to it. "I've been there."

"I'm sure you have," you groan. You couldn't help being sly with him, even now. It came out of you impulsively, knowing he'd always reward you with some form of attention you both could get something out of. Something you both let sit at the back of your minds all day.

You stretch your arms over your head feline-like, your body now finally feeling as though you'd slept in your living room instead of your bed. Your shoulder ached dully, your back already popping at each stretch you made with your body. The wonderful joys of aging.

"That's one way to get the blood pumpin' in the mornin', yeah?" Ghost jokes, he always did feel a little humor could lighten any mood. "You never scream like that with me."

"Perhaps you should do a better job then," you tease.

"Don’t tempt me, love."

Love. He doesn't call you that often. Only in your most intimate of moments. You hadn't felt your face smiling, but you knew you were.

You looked so innocently up at him after without even thinking. "Tempt you, Manchester?" You give the man a rather tired but still lurid look, bumping his shoulder playfully with your own. "Perish the thought," you say. "As if it's that hard to do."

"Oh, fuck off." Ghost sighs, and you can practically feel the man smiling beneath his mask. A smile that felt as warm as a heater come after a snowstorm.

Wind chimes clung lightly outside your window, the finches gathered at your bird feeder chirping blissfully. You both laugh lightly to yourselves, your arms faintly brushing at every small exhale from your noses. And you both sat there even after the laughter, simply looking off ahead of yourselves, with eyes still heavy from waking.

It had felt suddenly a tremendous task to look over at Ghost. Once you've worked up the courage, you catch him gazing out your window aimlessly, peacefully, his body settled into your couch as though he'd been with you the day you bought the thing.

And then he looks down at you. Maybe he felt you staring, but you never noticed how brown his eyes are, or how deep they could look in a dimly lit room. Similarly, he's never noticed how animated your own eyes are, always moving and observing some small, unknown detail. It made his skin crawl delightfully. Ghost would have thought that feeling to be a bad thing, and yet it had been quite the opposite.

Why don't we ever do this? You asked him that last night, and though he'd answered you, it hadn't been the entire truth.

A sudden burst of energy springs from you, pulling you from your seat and inviting yourself onto Ghost's lap, who leans back and lets you do so without question. Your legs settle over his boulderous thighs, humming lightly as he rests his hands back against your hips, sighing pleasantly to himself and looking back up at you.

Ghost did his best not to squirm around too much with you on top of him. It hadn't been the worst thing you two have done together. However, it wasn't common for things to feel so... easy. He could stay like this all morning if you let him.

Something tells him you felt the same way; you don't usually take this long to start getting to the point of things physically.

"What is it?" he asks.

"I'm surprised you're still here."

You watch your comment bring him to a short pause and find yourself now at the edge of your seat, arms resting gently over his shoulders and not being used to this sudden anticipation towards his answer.

Ghost had thought about being completely honest with you, admitting that he'd been equally surprised. That's when he woke up and saw you still sleeping on the couch next to him, it had been the hardest thing to even excuse himself to the restroom.

Your arms had been entangled around him, cuddled against his large shoulder like a giant pillow. You slept soundly beside him, peacefully, having felt so at ease with letting your guard down, all things considered. An innocent sight too far and few between bitter exchanges.

He's never slept over after before, nor has he ever held you in his arms like this. Yet, it had felt like the most sensible thing to do now, something as natural as breathing or blinking.

He found himself just watching you sleep for a while, still. In the early morning light that crept through your living room window, he sees all these details to you he's never had the chance to; you are beautiful. Truly. And he hadn't meant it in ways that were superficial or lustful. Genuinely, he really did find you a stunning woman. He's always found you so, even behind the toxicity.

Seeing you next to him had made him happy, and all at once, it hurt him the same, knowing this time would always be finite. You'd bore of him soon enough, only to call him later as another passing thought. Maybe one of these days, he'll gather the strength to stop answering.

Even now, with you over him like this, it's odd. He doesn't want to get up, and yet he does. He wants to pull you in closer, and he wants to leave. He can feel himself breathing, yet the sight and touch of you made the air catch in his lungs each time he went to inhale.

Maybe he could just blame that on the smoking.

"Good thing I was 'ere, yeah?" he finally quips.

"Right," you lean forward, letting your nose brush the tip of his just faintly enough for him to long for its sensation beneath his mask. You watch the blond of his lashes flutter innocently, with eyes wrapped up in you even more than they had been last night. "My knight in shining armor. You won't hear me complaining."

"That's a first," he teases.

"Fuck you."

Your kiss is what truly wakes him that morning, your lips sculpting the shape of his mouth through his mask and gently planting slow, light pecks. His arms hug around you warmly, with strong fingers gently grazing their way up your back. He always did like these rare occasions where you'd treat him softly; he liked to think it had been a side of you that only he had seen. Even as he knew it wasn't true.

You continue to kiss him for a little while, the man's hands only remaining comfortably at your back to keep you over him. Ghost wasn't sure how much more he could take of you wiggling about on his lap before he gave you what you were clearly looking for. But it wasn't until you started reaching for his mask that he felt a sudden bolt of lightning strike him.

Both his hands shoot up to grab yours, large fingers hooping across your wrist like cuffs, keeping you just out of reach from the brim of his mask. His sudden hesitancy makes you smirk, and already does he know that you're about to push his buttons.

"Aw," you tease, purposefully rocking your hips into him. It makes you giggle when he huffs to himself. "Feeling shy?"

"Not shy," Ghost says. "Just..." Vulnerable. Anxious. Wary. Careful. "...You know how it is."

"Aww," you start to pout mockingly. "Is that honor only reserved for the special girls in your circle?" you ask. "Or just the ones you don't fuck?"

"For the ones actually interested in sticking around," he says. "Instead of just being some fling."

You can't help but scoff, and Ghost can't help but tense up afterward, already preparing himself for an outburst. You certainly were good for them, and Ghost hadn't wanted to kid himself here either; this would all end soon enough.

It wouldn't be long now... and he knows he should pull away before that day comes. He's lost enough people in his life to recognize not to get close to something that won't last long enough to really matter. So he won't hold back his words with you. You can't have your cake and eat it too, he thought.

But some small, sad part of himself wanted you to fight his words, however harsh that storm would be, just like you always do.

Your shoulders slouch and your eyes drift off somewhere into the room. You couldn't make it more obvious that what he said had stung, in ways you hadn't even known you'd been capable of feeling towards him.

A fling. A piece of meat. That's how you liked to present yourself -- it's how you've viewed others too -- most of the time. So you can't get mad if that's how he sees it.

Yet every time that truth is brought to attention, it can't help but make your gut twist up in knots. As if some delusional part of you felt you could continue to sleep with Ghost and see other men as well without him caring.

You've been in a losing battle with Ghost since you first slept together. You knew on that night that any real formalities between you two were forever gone; you'd already spoiled so many of the first joys of being with someone, and it often left this feeling of things being too late to change. What you have now will probably always be what it is. So why can't you enjoy it for that while you still can? Why must he complicate things?

"I just wanted to kiss you," you admit.

It's the honest truth. You dreamed about his lips; his kiss had felt that good. You never expected him to have left such an effect on you, yet you've woken up, and the want to taste him has not subsided.

Ghost takes his eyes from you, dark orbs lowering to your lips as though to telepathically share the same thoughts as you.

"I..."

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Your eyes turn to the thunderous rumbling of your cell phone against your hardwood coffee table. A phone call.

Ghost looked back at you, expecting you to sit up and answer it. You merely turn back to him, letting it buzz until the call finally drops. You could always call them back.

As you've opened your mouth to speak, however, the phone begins to buzz again. Another phone call. It's this time that you've decided to sit up and see who it is; you freeze once you read the caller ID. Shit!

"Who is it?" Ghost regrets asking the second his voice lets the words rumble out.

"It's uh..." You stumble on your words, purposefully being coy, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

"Your boyfriend?" Ghost answers for you, and your silence after speaks volumes.

Your boyfriend. Mr. Sweet and Super Understanding himself. This supposed "doomed" second relationship that has been nothing but highs since you've known him, if anything you told Ghost last night had been true. It figures he would call you so early this morning, you two had seemed close after all.

And like the strike of a match, his entire demeanor runs from cold to ticked off. Ghost can do nothing more than laugh to himself, shaking his head as though you'd just pulled the rug from underneath him and blown the ceiling off the roof of your prior delusions.

After all, you got exactly what you wanted here from him. He fixed your car, fucked you after, and now you get to send him on his merry way while you spend some real time with someone else.

Grumbling to himself, almost without him even knowing, he mutters, "I don't know what else I fucking expected-"

"He's not-" You struggle to find the right words to say, feeling as though every sentence spoken made a true difference between Ghost walking out of your life for good or not. The thought made you start to panic all of a sudden. "I'm not with him like that. You know this already."

You're right; he does know this. You haven't lied about a single thing since he drove over to jump your car. "Besides," you start to argue. "Why does it matter anyway? Why do you care? It's not like you want to be with me. You won't even let me look at you! You've said it yourself; I'm just some "slag" you sometimes like to fuck. Why the fuck do you care if I'm seeing someone who doesn't think that way about me?"

Because he hadn't felt that way about you. Not anymore. Not ever.

Never has he met a woman able to push his buttons so effectively, in ways all too familiar to his childhood. But at the same time, this woman, this human who unknowingly held so much power over him without even being aware, you equally found the littlest of ways to creep into his mind and bring him a bittersweet peace he had not felt since his youth.

But if he said that to you would you listen? Would you even understand? You've never been a woman to be tied down. He's known this. Who was he to think he'd be the difference when what you say is true. He has not been kind to you, not until it was too late, and now you've one foot out. How could he blame you for that?

And yet Ghost stands up, a bubble now having been burst. "As though you're so innocent," his voice raises, emotions finally starting to tip. He matches your hostile energy, his dark eyes glaring down at you, a mirror of wounded gazes. "How many times have I been here for you, only for you to cast me aside like an old toy you can just play with when you're bored? All I've ever been to you is an easy out; you've never cared what I've thought-"

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Ghost's eyes shoot down to your phone ringing in your hand, and you swear you've never seen him more upset.

A passing fear of him stepping over and snatching your phone from your hand passes over you, and your entire body language subliminally shifts in response. You instinctively take a step back from him, lightly turning your body to keep your phone from his reach. You'll be damned if he thinks he can try that.

He notices this small action, and a part of himself felt akin to his father, recognizing that fear in your eyes from his mother, even as you hide it behind a biting glare. That feeling alone could have done him in for good.

Though Ghost wanted nothing more than to answer that call and tell that other man to fuck off already, he had more self-composure and respect than that, along with his own moral obligations.

Still, it didn't take long for the conversation to take a turn, and from that point, it had been as though everything this morning had been but a slow build-up to an inevitable argument between you two. It always did come naturally.

It started out antagonistic from the jump. You questioned and belittled his sudden emotional flare-up, criticizing every one of his reactions and ignoring the obvious signs that you really needed to back off and just let him go. Or it would be better to say you didn't care for it.

To be frank, you didn't understand his frustrations. If other men had been such a problem, why does he keep coming back? What is it that he keeps seeking here?

Ghost hadn't been interested in spending his whole morning arguing with you, and physically feeling a grave be dug for the remains of your tarnished relationship. He moves around you and begins gathering his things, needing the air now more than ever.

"Hold up-" you approach him, throwing any caution or personal space out the window, as you've stopped a few steps shy of him. "Where are you going?"

"Back home." Ghost starts to put his boots on, the frustration he controlled in his voice being taken out by the aggression he used to tie his laces. "It's time I've made myself scarce."

"You're just gonna run off now? Just like that? I didn't take you for such a pussy, Manchester-"

"Don't push me, Spice," Ghost warns you. "I mean it."

"Or what? You'll leave?" you taunt. "I'll do whatever the fuck I want to."

"And that's the problem," Ghost says, standing up on his two feet and towering over you. "All you ever do is what you want. You never care how your actions affect others or what someone might think of them."

"What do you want from me, Simon?" You finally ask him, voice starting to rise, your chest puffing up aggressively. You'd curse him for getting you so emotionally riled up this morning.

What do you want from me? What do you want? A simple question that had been impossible to answer, because answering it would mean being honest with himself about what's happened with him here. It would mean being vulnerable.

"Stop calling me," Ghost says. "Stop seeing me. Stop being with me. We should never have done this in the first fucking place... This has to stop."

No longer did he wish to feel this way, to feel as though the worst parts of himself came at a constant full display with you. No longer did he want to feel himself slowly start to care for you, knowing that at any moment you could be gone. He's not sure he could handle something like that again.

Your mouth opens, and then it closes, and then you frown. Ghost thought you wouldn't say anything to him. He thought you might even cry. But no, you never were one to just leave things at that. You always had to say the last thing in an argument, and you never minced words.

"Then fucking go already," you say. "Get out. You won't have to worry about me calling you ever again."

Ghost didn't say anything after that, though he had looked at you for a little while longer. If you hadn't known him as well as you think you did, you'd say his brown eyes looked rather sad.

He moves away from you, making his way to your front door and unlocking it. He makes sure not to look back as you see him out. The man wouldn't be able to stomach the sight.

He remained on the other side of the door after you'd slammed it, feeling the wind hit his back and the sharp silence that it brought with it. Ghost then cocks his head back and closes his eyes, sighing in defeat. He felt the warm, morning air hit the little parts of his skin left bare for the air to kiss, and as though his mood couldn't drop any lower, he remembered he still had to go to work with you this morning.

Part Seven Coming Soon. Stay Tuned~

Since I'm trying to explore toxic relationships, I wanted to delve into the complexities a little (while not being so on the nose about it). They have their ups and they have their downs; they blend and happen all at once and take each other's places at every positive or negative interaction. You can have genuine moments of care and empathy with people you simultaneously butt heads and take issue with I feel; nothing is ever just black and white. I'm rambling and probably not making a lot of sense.

But, now that Ghost and the Reader are in the pits, they've gotta look within themselves and fix their shit if it's meant to be. I want to write them in a way where it's clear if they could just sit and figure out what it was they wanted from each other, then this could be something real if they let it. However, life waits for no one, and they're about to be in for a doozy. The mission i have planned for them is gonna be 👺👺👺

Taglist: @cabreezer0117, @homicidal-slvt, @deadbranch, @argella1300, @poohkie90, @glitterypirateduck , @sarraa-26, @quincessimus, @0-444-4444, @crazymela, @13thprogenitor, @joce2fine, @sapszilla, @dmitriene, @justherebecauseafarisucks, @zevrajalexxandra, @corvusmorte

#call of duty #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost #modern warfare ii #call of duty modern warfare ii #mwii #mw2022 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #no good men left to spare #Spotify

198 notes · View notes

delicateflowerss · 1 year

Text

Don't Worry, Darling: Three

After marrying the love of your life, Rafe Cameron, you thought you couldn't be happier. But when a murder shakes the island, you learn you don't know your husband as well as you thought. When does Paradise become Hell?

Warnings: 18+, eventual NON-CON, verbal/domestic abuse, dark!Rafe, mentions of murder, mentions of pregnancy/having kids, kook!reader, non-canon ages

Word Count: 3.9k

Series Masterlist

“So, let’s go over that again. You left the office around 11:30, correct?”

Shoupe’s stare is set on Rafe, almost like he’s waiting for your husband to blink at him wrong, anything to show he isn’t telling the truth.

“It was around that time. I don’t remember exactly.”

You can tell Rafe is fighting the urge to tell the police to fuck off, given the heavy annoyance lacing his tone. You worry he might, his impulse control only lasting so long.

Their incessant questions don’t help, going over every detail of the night Rafe last saw Chase alive.

It’s a strong case of déjà vu for you, Shoupe and the same officer as last time, sitting in the exact same spot on your couch. Except, you can feel the gravity of the situation now. A man you know has been killed.

“And nothing struck you as odd about Chase that night? All he said was bye as he was leaving?”

“That’s all I remember. How many times do I have to tell you I barely saw him that night?”

Whatever Rafe was holding back, he isn’t anymore, his anger getting the best of him. It doesn’t sit right with either officer, their meaningful glances toward each other telling you more than they’ll ever say.

As your eyes rake over your husband, you don’t know why he seems nervous, unable to stop the shake in his leg.

You reach your hand out, the denim of his pants rough under your skin as you stop the uneasy movement.

“I think what Rafe is trying to say, is he’s answered all of your questions, more than once,” you placate. “You seem to be wanting an answer he just doesn’t have.”

Rafe watches you, an appreciation shining in his eyes that he wouldn’t know how to voice to you.

“We would love to help any way we can. But he’s told you everything he knows.”

Shoupe mulls over your words, seeming almost annoyed that you’re making a good point.

“Fine,” he concedes, looking over both you and Rafe. “But if there’s anything you could possibly think of, you know where to find us,” he adds, standing up.

“Of course,” you reply, showing them the way out.

“It’s important to us you find whoever did this,” you say, giving Rafe a pointed look, motioning toward the officers, needing him to show his support.

When he spots this, he nods. “Catch this guy before something else happens. Don’t put our tax dollars to waste.”

He keeps his eyes on Shoupe, his mouth fighting a smirk.

You don’t understand the exchange between the two men, Shoupe’s stare also heavy.

“That’s what we’re trying to do,” Shoupe finally retorts after a few tense moments. He’s the first one to look away, nodding toward you. “Have a good day, Mrs. Cameron.”

Once they’re gone, your eyes find your husband, brows pulled together.

“What was that about?” You ask, trying to find an explanation for his rude behavior.

“What?” Now his unpleasant mood is aimed at you, lips parted, brows matching yours, and you almost regret saying anything. “He’s wasting his time with me. He’s wasting my time. He could actually be out there, catching the person who did it.”

You take in his explanation, arms crossed, eyes glancing to the floor before meeting his.

“I get it. But they’re just doing their job,” you explain. “I mean Chase was murdered, Rafe. You know, the guy you used to see at work every day and liked to invite us over for dinner.”

You try to make it clear to him why he should think about someone besides himself.

He swallows at that, now it’s him who can’t meet your gaze.

You sigh, deciding it’s best to drop it. You know how Rafe is, how difficult it is for him to not only process his own emotions, but others as well.

You step closer, your hand finding his by his side, fingers threading together. You feel the cool touch of his gold, signet ring against your warm skin, along with his wedding ring.

He doesn’t move away, and you can’t help but think he looks like a scolded little boy as he finally looks up at you, hair failing into his eyes.

“I know this has been a lot for you,” you start. “You know you can always talk to me. About anything.”

You watch him, hoping he’ll finally open up to you about this whole situation.

Instead, he just nods, his hand falling from yours before he walks to the kitchen, finding his phone.

You have to stop yourself from sighing, showing your disappointment.

“I talked to my dad earlier,” he calls out, walking toward you with his phone in his hand. “He wants us over for dinner on Sunday. Something about wanting everyone together since Sarah’s back for the summer,” he mumbles the last part, and you can tell he’s trying his hardest not to roll his eyes.

“Oh, that should be nice. We haven’t been over there in a while.” You keep your tone optimistic, hoping it will influence his own outlook.

But by the look on Rafe’s face, it’s not working. He seems more distracted than anything else.

“I gotta take this,” he holds his phone up, excusing himself to his office upstairs.

You’re more than aware of Rafe’s strained relationship with his family. Part of you wants to tell him to forget about his father, thinking it would be best for him to release himself from the shackles of desperately vying for his father’s approval.

But you also know that this house didn’t pay for itself. Even if the name Cameron holds weight in certain places, you’d be lying if you said Rafe could get a job anywhere, especially as good as the one he has now.

You thought Rafe having to work for his father could only help the relationship, and it does seem like they’re friendlier to each other, Ward seeing his son as somewhat competent. But the pressure still lies on Rafe to be good enough.

So, all you can do is keep the peace.

Maybe you have your own motives to keep things nice between Rafe and his family. Sometimes, they feel like the only family you have, even if it’s a bit dysfunctional.

You’re an only child, and your parents decided when you moved out that they were going to spend most of their time on vacation, seeing the world they didn’t get to when you were growing up.

Right now, they’re on a Caribbean cruise, the last time you saw them being your wedding.

You miss them, but you don’t really blame them. Maybe you’ll feel the same one day, when your own children are grown up and married.

They were always extremely supportive of your relationship with Rafe, never seeing any issues. Their happiness at the possibility of their daughter marrying into the Cameron’s blinded them.

You’re glad they didn’t see the things you saw because they might not have been as forgiving. You saw firsthand how hard Rafe worked to clean up his addiction, and to stop the tendency to get into fights with Pogues.

But you wonder if they had known, would they have even batted an eye?

JJ doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to sitting in your kitchen. He thinks you’re only pretending not to notice how much he stands out, because you never seem bothered by it. You just smile as you hand him an ice-cold drink. This time, it’s iced tea.

You were folding laundry when you heard JJ slip into the backyard. This time, he didn’t put up a fight, letting you invite him in.

“So,” you say, sitting across from him at the kitchen table. “I heard Sarah’s back for the summer. Is she still with John B?”

“I thought you were her sister-in-law or whatever, wouldn’t you know?” He asks, taking a long sip of his drink.

“Yeah, well, Rafe and Sarah don’t really talk.”

JJ raises his eyebrows, humming, an understanding washing over his face.

“They’re still together. She’s over at The Chateau almost every day now,” he answers.

You smile, nodding. “So, you still see your friends a lot?”

You were pretty removed from the people Sarah started hanging out with during her high school years. They were younger…and they were Pogues. But you cared about her enough to want to know about her friends.

You also knew them for other reasons, ones having to do with a dumb rivalry stemming from your husband’s hatred of Pogues.

You never got to know any of them, talking to John B the most out of all of them.

Until now.

“Yeah. Everyone’s doing their own thing now, but we get together all the time,” he casually says.

“I’m glad to hear that. I remember you all being so close.”

“Hm.” He stops, his brow furrowing. “You remember that before or after we would get the shit kicked out of us by Rafe?”

Your smile falters, eyes finding the surface of the table.

Before you can say anything, he continues, “but he’s different now. So, I should just forget about it.”

Sarcasm drips from his tone, using your own words against you. He raises his eyebrows again, taking another sip, making his point.

“I never said you should forget about it,” you scoff. “I know what Rafe did was wrong. Do you hold what he did against Sarah too?”

“You can’t choose your family,” he shrugs. “I mean she barely talks to him as it is. You married him.” He pauses, blue eyes staring into you. “That means you looked at all that, and thought, I want to be with this guy for the rest of my life.”

He immediately begins to feel bad when you frown. He sighs, realizing he took it too far.

“I’m sorry, okay?” He apologizes bluntly. “You seem nice and all, I just can’t trust someone who’s married to Rafe Cameron,” JJ explains.

“You don’t have to trust me,” you level with him. “And I can apologize for all of Rafe’s wrongdoings over and over again, because I am sorry. But is that really going to make you feel better?”

He looks to his lap, bottom lip between his teeth. He knows you’re being sincere, your eyes genuinely curious.

“You’re right, there’s no point in holding it against you,” he admits quietly.

You nod, taking a moment before saying, “Good, because I actually like talking to you, for some reason,” you add the last part with a smile on your face.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that to me before,” he says with a smile, the same joking tone.

You’ve been to Tannyhill more times than you could count, and it never fails to impress you.

Rafe has told you more than once, usually when he has a few drinks in him, that one day it will be “ours.” You think it’s somewhat morbid that he’s waiting for the day his father can’t physically have it anymore. But you also can’t help but feel a glimmer of anticipation about being able to call it yours.

As you walk side by side, you can feel the nervousness radiating off of Rafe, even if he tries his hardest to stamp it down.

You say his name, stopping a few feet from the front door, turning toward him.

He looks at you, a question in his eyes.

Before he can say anything, you bring your hands to his firm chest, smoothing out the black polo shirt he’s wearing. You feel him let out a sigh.

“Babe-.”

You cut him off with a kiss, lashes fluttering against his cheek.

“I just wanted to do that before we went in there,” you quietly say against his lips when you break apart.

You get your satisfaction when his lips turn up into a smile.

But your attention is quickly moved when you hear the door creak open.

“Dad said to get the door,” Wheezie says timidly, eyes shifting around.

You meet Rafe’s eyes again, both of you hiding your laughs.

“Hi, Wheezie,” you greet, walking into the cool air of the house.

You hear Rafe say the same right behind you, shutting the door.

“Are you still taking me shopping before Midsummers?” She doesn’t waste a second to excitedly ask you. “Sarah’s too busy and I’d rather go with you than Rose.”

She grimaces at the mention of her stepmother.

“I’ve been looking forward to it. Why don’t we go sometime this week?”

You don’t notice how Rafe watches you make plans with his little sister, an indescribable emotion swimming in his blue eyes.

“We were wondering when you’d get here,” a booming voice announces.

Ward walks into the room with a grin on his face.

“How you doing, sweetheart?” he asks, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m doing good. Nice to see you, Ward,” you reply, still smiling.

As he steps away from you, you notice how Rafe shifts a little, standing up straighter.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Son,” is all Ward says, patting Rafe on the back, his smile more tight-lipped now.

They share a look, something wordless between them before Ward turns to you.

“Rose is in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. And Sarah should be down soon. I’m just going to borrow Rafe for a few minutes. I hope you don’t mind,” he checks with you, eyebrows raised.

“No, go ahead,” you nod, watching them head toward his office.

“I’ll go see what Sarah’s doing,” Wheezie says, also going upstairs, leaving you to wander into the kitchen.

It’s not uncommon for Ward to pull Rafe aside to have a conversation, usually about work. But the glance they gave each other was tense, a seriousness there that you don’t know the reason for.

“This looks delicious, Rose. You’ll have to give me the recipe,” you comment, staring at the sauce she’s stirring.

“My mother used to make this all the time. One of my favorites,” she remarks before being interrupted by Sarah barreling her way toward you.

“There’s my favorite sister-in-law,” she calls out, wrapping her arms around you.

“I’m your only sister-in-law,” you say, laughing, squeezing her back.

“Well, I still think if you really wanted to see me all the time, you didn’t have to marry Rafe to do it.” Amusement dances on her lips. “You could’ve saved yourself a lot of trouble,” she says, trying not to burst out laughing.

“What? You mean, I didn’t have to do that.” Your tone matches hers, and she’s the first one to laugh as you step away from the heat of the kitchen.

“So, tell me all about your first year at UNC?” You ask, eyes on her.

“It was good,” she says with a lack of truthfulness, her furrowed brow giving her away.

“Are you sure?”

She shakes her head, looking around to make sure she’s out of Rose’s earshot.

“I don’t know. I’m just not sure if college is for me,” Sarah says quietly. You nod and she continues, “I just would rather be doing something else with my life. Not being stuck in a classroom with a bunch of other rich kids who are just going to end up working for their fathers.”

You raise your eyebrows, the implication of her words not lost on you.

“Sorry,” she draws back. “That was harsh.”

“No, I get it. You want something different.”

“Yeah. And I want to be with people I actually like.”

“Like John B?”

An involuntary smile makes her lips twitch as she looks down, her cheeks turning rosy.

“Yes, like John B,” she admits, not fighting her smile anymore. “And before you say anything, I know what it sounds like,” she pauses, staring directly at you. “But I won’t be dropping out of college for a boy. It’s for a lot of reasons.”

“I mean, even if that were the case. I can’t really judge you, can I?” You ask, thinking of your own past, and how picking a school was completely dependent on Rafe. “I think you should do what makes you happy.”

“Can you explain that to my dad now?” She jokes, but her smile is appreciative, like it’s all she needed to hear.

Rafe didn’t say much by the time he came back from his dad’s office, just sitting down for dinner like everyone else. You want to ask him about it, but you know it’s best to let him tell you first.

You all eat under incandescent lighting from the chandelier, shining off the silverware and fine china. There has been slight small talk, but things shift when Ward clears his throat from the head of the table, setting down his fork.

“I just want to say, how grateful I am to have the whole family here, together. The year’s not even close to over, and I don’t know if I can express how proud I am.”

Emotion seeps through his words as his eyes rake over the table, everyone intently listens.

“Sarah just completed her first year at college, with straight A’s,” he adds, his smile only growing bigger. Sarah returns the expression, but you can see the slight insincerity to it.

“We also, officially, welcomed Y/N to the family. Of course, I would say she’s been part of this family for years.”

You sheepishly smile, catching Rafe’s eye.

“And Rafe,” he pauses, staring at his son. “Rafe has been working very hard in his position at Cameron Development. Harder than almost anyone, and I’m not just saying that.” He laughs a little. “That’s why, I’ve decided to make him Cameron Development’s new Chief Operating Officer.”

Your lips part with surprise, quickly turning into a smile as you put an arm around Rafe’s shoulders, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whisper, catching the happiness in his eyes.

“I won’t let you down,” he tells his dad.

Wheezie smiles, thinking it must be a big deal, Sarah doesn’t look impressed, and Rose just casually sips her wine.

“Now, I’m not saying I’m expecting any, but maybe an announcement about a grandchild before the end of the year would be nice,” Ward says, half-jokingly.

Your first instinct is to tense up, even if you try not to, your arm moving so just your palm lies on Rafe’s back.

“I think that very well could happen,” Rafe practically promises.

Your face falls a little, trying to keep a sense of lightheartedness in your voice.

“Well, maybe not this year.”

Rafe turns to you at that, giving you a look only you can see. But he bites his tongue from saying anything.

Ward doesn’t push further, saying he’s happy as long as he gets a grandchild. But the damage is done, Rafe not meeting your eyes for the rest of dinner.

Another silent car ride, this time, you can feel the minutes pass by. Rafe doesn’t say a word to you, and honestly, you’re grateful, knowing you don’t want to argue while he’s behind the wheel.

You dread the moment you get home, but at this point, you should be angrier than he is.

He’s still not talking to you when you get home, setting his things down before going upstairs.

He’s almost casual in his actions, but you can tell by the tightness of his jaw and how he can’t look at you, that he’s upset.

You follow him upstairs, repeating his name.

“Rafe,” you call out. “You’re going to have to talk to me. You can’t just give me the silent treatment.”

You find him in the bedroom you two share, slipping off his shoes.

He finally looks at you, and his eyes are ablaze.

“Did you have to say that?” He bitterly asks.

“Say what? The truth?” Your tone matches his. “I just don’t understand why you’re mad. Do you really not want your family to know we’re waiting?”

His teeth sink into his bottom lip, like he doesn’t believe what you’re saying.

“It’s embarrassing, Y/N,” he spits out.

“Embarrassing?” You ask, unsure if you heard him correctly. “It’s embarrassing that your wife gets to decide when she wants to have a baby?”

“That’s not what I meant.” He shakes his head but doesn’t explain further.

“Then what do you mean?” You press.

“It-It’s embarrassing that it looks like we’re not on the same page,” he finally explains, flexing his fingers.

“I agree, Rafe. Then why did you say that? Why did you agree with him when you know I want to wait?”

“Exactly. You want to wait.”

You’re left speechless by his implication, lip almost trembling while you take in his words. This is the first time you’re hearing of this, but you realize certain comments you brushed off might have meant he wanted a baby sooner than later.

“Honestly, it sounds like you don’t want kids at all,” he continues. His face is twisted up, pacing back and forth away from you.

“What?” You ask, your brows knitted together. “I do, you know I do. I just want to be able to grow my career before we have any. You know that.”

“What career?”

You start to feel your chest getting tighter.

“What?”

“You sit at a computer a few times a week. How is that stopping you from having a baby?”

You can feel your eyes starting to sting, not being able to remember a time where Rafe said something so hurtful to you.

“Rafe…” You start.

He shrugs his shoulders. “It sounds like an excuse to me.”

You shake your head, eyes getting glassy.

“Just because you got promoted, doesn’t mean you get to tell me my job doesn’t mean anything.” Rage runs through your voice. “And I hate to say it, but you only have that job for one reason. At least I got my job through my own hard work.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, regret fills you.

Somehow his eyes harden even more as he steps closer to you.

“You mean the job you barely get any money from?” He asks, getting closer until you have no choice but to step back, your body hitting the wall behind you. “Remind me, who paid for this house? Or for your clothes? Or for-for that stupid soap you insist on ordering from France?”

He’s almost spitting in your face as you feel your shoulders dig into the wall.

“Who paid for all of that?” His voice is loud as he asks again, his fingers still flexing and unflexing as you look up at him with tearful eyes.

It feels like an eternity before you answer.

“Your father,” you rasp out.

You watch in fear as he takes a step back from you, his breathing getting rougher before his fist collides with the wall next to your head.

You flinch, moving your face away as you feel his arm almost graze you.

Tears fall freely from your eyes as he tries to steady his breathing, glancing at his red knuckles.

Finally, you see the realization hit him, his eyes softening at your cowering figure right next to the hole in the wall he made.

“Y/N-.” He begins, stepping closer to you.

“Don’t,” you yell, holding up a hand and stopping him.

He tries to say something, but you speak instead.

“Just go away,” you urge him, and after a moment, he does, leaving you at the scene of the crime.

Tags:

@fangirlwithlou @thebuttofcaptainamerica @lovedetlost @kkmstblog @whorefordrew @gillybear17 @alinaharlow @coriellesmarya

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist for this series!

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #obx #outer banks #dark!rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader

471 notes · View notes

imagine-you · 10 months

Text

These Wolves Keep On Scratching At My Heart [Isaac Lahey/Reader] (1/?)

Summary: Growing up as a human in the Hale pack wasn't easy, but you wouldn't have traded it for anything. When you're twelve, a fire takes away most of your family, except for your father and two of your cousins. You're adopted by a kind deputy and officially become a part of the Stilinski family since your father can't care for you and your cousins have fled town. You think life can't possibly get any more complicated until you're eighteen and your brother's best friend gets bitten by a rogue alpha out in the preserve. Word Count: 3.9k Notes: Reader is Peter's daughter (I'm pretty sure Malia won't exist in this fic) and there's a lot of story to tell here, so please be patient with me! I promise I will explain everything. If you like this, letting me know would make my day! Read on AO3 The splintering of wood and the roar of the flames was deafening. Smoke had engulfed the house, leaving everything hazy and disorienting.

You didn't know how the fire started or where everyone went, but there was only one person you had on your mind as you stumbled towards your bedroom door.

"Dad? Dad?!" You called, panic leaking into your voice.

Everything felt like it was abruptly tilted to the side and you didn't realize that you were falling until you hit the floor.

"I've got you. You'll be alright," you heard a voice say before arms scooped you up off the floor. You were cradled against someone's chest as you coughed, attempting to take a breath. "You'll be alright," the person repeated, attempting to reassure you, even though their voice was fearful and strangled.

The next thing you heard was the sound of breaking glass before you felt like you were flying. You let out a cry of anguish when you felt yourself fall, the sight of your father's face watching you from the window the last thing you saw before you hit the ground.

"Y/N! Y/N, c'mon, wake up. You're having that dream again."

You jolted awake, the smell of smoke seemingly lingering in your room before you focused on your brother.

"What?" You groaned, attempting to shake off the nightmare and focus on Stiles.

"You were screaming in your sleep," he told you, his expression a mix of worry and dismay. "Again."

That didn't really surprise you. Whenever you dreamt of the fire, it always brought up memories and feelings you wished would stay buried. But since the fire had swept away your whole life, leaving you to rise from the ashes and start over, it was hard to ignore the effect it had on you.

"I'll be alright," you assured Stiles, unknowingly echoing the last words you ever heard your father speak. "What are you doing up right now? Isn't it late?"

"I was going to Scott's, since Dad's on a call and you were asleep. I was on my way out when I heard you."

Even in the dark of your bedroom, you could see Stiles fidgeting. Either he was nervous about something or he was up to something. Knowing your brother, it was probably a bit of both.

"Why are you going to Scott's so late? You do remember school starts back up tomorrow, right?"

Stiles rolled his eyes before flopping down onto your bed, ignoring your grunt of protest. "Yeah, but winter break was boring, and I've got something fun and adventurous in mind for tonight."

You narrowed your eyes at Stiles, knowing that whatever he had in mind was likely something that would get him into trouble. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Stiles denied, tone light and mischievous. "Want to come with me? See for yourself that I'm going to be an upstanding citizen and simply have some fun with my best bud?"

You knew Stiles was up to no good, but you also hoped that if Scott was along for the ride, then he would keep your brother out of trouble.

"Go," you sighed, settling back into bed. "At least one of us should be well-rested for tomorrow."

"That's why you're the genius of the family," Stiles told you, barely avoiding the pillow you aimed at his head, before he was rolling off your bed. You heard him groan as he hit the floor before he bounded up, shooting you a grin. "See you later," he said before he hurried towards your bedroom door. He paused just before he reached it and turned to look at you. "Maybe it's time you go visit your dad again," he offered, his voice low and cautious. "You were calling for him in your sleep."

"Yeah," you agreed, trying to keep the longing out of your voice for Stiles' sake. "I'll go after school tomorrow."

"Good," Stiles said before nodding at you, as if he was giving you his seal of approval, and then left your room.

You closed your eyes, attempting for a few minutes to go back to sleep, but you knew it was useless. Sleep would elude you until you quieted the maelstrom of memories and fears that plagued you from when you were only twelve years old.

You didn't remember much about the fire. It seemed like one night you went to bed and by the time you woke up, you lost a family and were on your way to gaining a new one. You remembered waking up to smoke and flames, before trying to get to your bedroom door to look for your dad. All you wanted in that moment was your dad, because you knew he would make it all okay.

Once the police and firefighters arrived, you were found half-hidden in a pile of debris and leaves, knocked out with a broken arm. No one could figure out how you ended up outside the house or why no one else tried to leave. Most of your family had been found in the basement, and you knew they must have been going for the tunnels, but it didn't make sense to you why they couldn't get out. Nothing about the fire made any kind of sense and you knew there were mysteries to unlock.

The only other survivor of the fire was your father, but he was in no position to take care of you. He was currently in a care facility, since his injuries from the fire were so extensive. You tried to visit him at least once a week, but it didn't make it any easier on you to see him like that when you remembered the man who had taken care of you your whole life. He never spoke about your mom, but from what you gathered, you were better off without her.

When Derek and Laura fled town, not even bothering to tell you goodbye, you didn't realize it was the last time you would hear from them. You were never sure if they were running from something dangerous or if they simply couldn't handle living in the same town that had robbed them of their pack, but you never quite forgave them for practically abandoning you.

The kind deputy who found you shivering and lost amongst the debris had taken pity on you that night. After realizing you lost most of your family in the fire and had no one else to care for you, he decided to make you a part of his family. You supposed there might have been another pack out there who respected your aunt enough to take you in, but you wouldn't have wanted to leave Beacon Hills. Not as long as your dad was still there.

The Stilinskis had made you feel like a part of their family from day one and you couldn't have been more grateful for them.

Over the past six years, the fire and events surrounding it had weighed heavy on your mind. None of it made any sense to you and even though people wanted to dismiss it as a tragic accident, you knew it wasn't anything as simple as an electrical fire.

The only person who seemed to really agree with you was Mr. Stilinski and while he tried his best to hide the evidence from you, you knew he was still trying to force the pieces back together so he could finally see the whole picture.

But you had a feeling he would never see the whole picture. Not unless he discovered all the supernatural ties that were holding Beacon Hills together.

You didn't even realize you had managed to finally doze off before you were woken by the sound of your dad berating Stiles.

"What the hell did you think you were doing going out in the woods by yourself at this time of night? At least you had the sense not to drag Scott into it. Really, what kind of kid hears there's a body in the woods and then decides to go looking for it?"

"I was just trying to help you and the force out! I mean, it's a big preserve! It really could've been anywhere."

"Nice try," you heard your dad sigh. "Just get to bed, alright? You've got school tomorrow and I'm not letting you skip because you're too tired."

"I would never," Stiles scoffed before you heard his bedroom door close.

You waited until you heard your dad's door close before you got out of bed, keeping your steps light as you crossed your room. You opened your bedroom door, poking your head out cautiously, making sure the hallway was actually empty, before you stepped out of your room. You made your way to your brother's room, barging in before quickly closing the door behind you.

"Y/N? What the hell?" Stiles exclaimed, turning quickly in his computer chair to face you. "I could've been doing something that would have been incredibly traumatizing for both of us if you witnessed it!"

"Please," you sighed, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. "You're shameless, but you at least manage to lock the door if you're going to do something like that."

"Fine," Stiles groaned, reclining back in his chair. "Weren't you going back to sleep?"

"I was," you admitted, giving Stiles an unimpressed look. "Weren't you going to hang out with Scott and respect the law or something?"

"I was," Stiles argued, affecting an innocent tone. "I totally respected the law and didn't get into trouble at all."

"You went looking for a dead body in the woods," you reminded him.

“Oh," Stiles scoffed, trying to wave it off. "You heard about that, huh?"

"It's a little hard to ignore when our dad is berating you for something like that. What the hell were you thinking? You could have been hurt or killed or any number of terrible things." Stiles didn't know about the things that could be found out in the preserve, but you certainly did. You remembered the lectures from your dad when you were just a kid, telling you it wasn't safe for a human out alone in the woods at night. "And what about Scott, huh? What happened to him?"

"He might still be out there, actually," Stiles admitted with a sheepish shrug of his shoulders. "But he's a smart kid. He'll be fine."

"Fuck," you hissed, standing up. "Call him. Now," you told Stiles. "See if he's alright."

Stiles groaned before pulling out his phone, typing away a text instead of bothering to call his best friend to see if he was alive. After a few moments, he made a sound of triumph before waving his phone at you. "He made it out! He's totally fine."

"Okay," you sighed, choosing to trust your brother. "Just...next time you decide to go out into the woods, tell me, alright? I'll go with you."

"Got it," Stiles agreed, focused on his phone yet again.

You rolled your eyes, before reaching forward to pat Stiles on the shoulder. "Good talk," you told him before leaving his room. You were still worried about Scott, but you knew that Stiles would never let anything bad happen to his best friend. So, you went back to your room and climbed into bed, hoping that sleep would claim you soon.

When you woke in the morning, you were less than excited to start the last semester of your high school career. Stiles would be starting the second half of his junior year, but once June hit, you would be done with high school. You would have to figure out where you wanted to go to college and what you wanted to do with your life and the thought of that opened up a deep pit of dread and anxiety in your gut.

You groaned as you rolled out of bed, mindlessly going through your usual morning routine of styling your hair, putting on your clothes, eating breakfast, and then brushing your teeth.

Stiles' jeep was already gone by the time you walked outside. You were sure he had already left to pick up Scott, which gave you more hope that Scott was actually okay and not currently wandering around the preserve.

You climbed into your own jeep, a newer model than Stiles' with half the sentimental value. You got the car when you were sixteen and a lawyer contacted Mr. Stilinski to let him know that your dad had set aside a fund for you to be able to get your dream car when you got your license.

When you were a kid, you had wanted any and every flashy car that would let you go fast. Your dream car changed at least once a month and your dad had promised you that he would buy you whatever you wanted as soon as you got your license.

It hit you pretty hard when you realized your father had made preparations for your care in the event that he wasn't around to see you grow up. Even though you were grateful he was still alive, it still hurt that he couldn't speak and couldn't respond to anything you told him. You wondered if it hurt him too to watch you grow up and get older and live a whole life without him.

You didn't think much of the night before until you got to school and noticed Scott and Stiles standing outside. Stiles was in the middle of his usual fruitless attempt to get Lydia Martin's attention as you approached the pair. Scott seemed worried about something, which prompted you to sling an arm around his shoulders and ruffle his hair.

"What's with the long face, McCall?"

"He's freaking out about some animal that bit him last night," Stiles said, waving it off as if it wasn't a big deal. "There's not even a mark on him. It was probably a mosquito."

You tried to keep the alarm off your face, because it really could have been nothing. But curiosity would always get the best of you and you couldn't help but fish for more information. "Animal? What did it look like?"

"I didn't get a good look," Scott admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. "It was big and had red eyes. It bit me and I ran away. I think it was a wolf?" Scott's voice went high and confused on the last word as he sent an unsure look at Stiles.

"Bud, I told you, there are no wolves here. It was probably a rabid rabbit or something," Stiles dismissed, urging you and Scott towards the building. "Now, c'mon, let's go get this shitshow over with."

Your mind was spinning as you tried to get through your classes. All you could think about was a rogue alpha out in the preserve, biting people and leaving behind a trail of confused omegas in its wake. Beacon Hills had been relatively quiet on the supernatural front since the fire. The only thing even remotely supernatural around town was your dad, but he hadn't left the care facility in years. You supposed Deaton counted, but if Deaton posed a threat, then you supposed you did as well.

Halfway through your anatomy class, you pulled out your phone, shooting a text to Deaton.

'We've got to talk. It's important.'

Knowing Deaton, you wouldn't hear from him until it was a little too late, so you had to do something before the situation got completely out of control.

You thought the day couldn't get any worse until word about the new girl started floating around school.

"She's so pretty. Think she'll go out with me?"

"Her family moves around a lot. Maybe her dad's in the military."

"I heard her last name is Argent. I wonder if she's French."

All anyone seemed to want to talk about was the new girl including Scott and Stiles.

"Look, she's already been sucked into Lydia's orbit," Stiles pointed out with a groan. "You have no chance, buddy," he told Scott, giving him a consoling pat on the back.

"Well, Y/N's friends with Jackson, right? Can't you put in a good word for me?" Scott wondered, turning to you with a hopeful grin.

You shook your head, watching Allison, wary of any move she might make. "No," you answered Scott, finally tearing your gaze away from the new girl. "You should stay away from her."

"But--" Scott tried to object, but you were already walking away. You didn't have a good explanation for why Scott shouldn't go near Allison and you certainly couldn't figure out how to tell Scott he was probably a werewolf.

You passed Allison, Lydia, and Jackson, ignoring Jackson's nod of acknowledgement in your direction. You didn't have the energy to deal with Jackson, even though you would hear all about how you ignored him later. There were just too many things going wrong in too short amount of time and you were starting to feel like you couldn't breathe.

You opted to skip your last class of the day and head right for the care facility. The nurses knew you by now and most took the time to smile at you and ask how you were doing as you passed them.

Seeing your dad helpless and catatonic never got any easier, but you couldn't deny it helped knowing he was still there for you.

"A lot has happened since last week," you started, taking a seat in front of his chair. You reached out to take his hand, glad for the physical assurance that your dad was still with you.

When you were younger, the doctors and nurses explained to you that talking to your dad on a regular basis might help with his overall recovery, so you made sure to visit him as often as you could. "I started the last semester of my senior year today. I should be graduating in June." You glanced down, unsure how to continue. You didn't want to say anything that would worry your dad, but the only other person you could talk to was Deaton and that was bound to be more annoying than helpful.

"So, I've talked about Stiles and I've mentioned his best friend Scott. His mom works in the hospital and he's like a brother to me too." You let out an incredulous laugh, not even sure you could believe what you were about to tell your dad. "Last night, Stiles and Scott went looking for a dead body in the preserve. I don't know if they ever found it, but something did find Scott. I think...," you trailed off, wondering if there was any possibility where you could be wrong. Maybe it was a rabid animal and Scott simply needed a series of shots. But no, your life had never given you much luck, so it wasn't about to start now. "I think he was bitten by an alpha."

You weren't sure if it was just wishful thinking, but you could have sworn that your dad's hand twitched in yours. You glanced down at it, but it was still and unmoving as usual, filling you with a guilty disappointment.

"And now I've got to worry about my brother's best friend turning into a werewolf, but I've also got to worry about the new girl. She's an Argent," you explained with a wince. "Why are there hunters in town? Are they looking for the alpha or are they trying to settle down here? I don't like any of this," you sighed, trying to fight the tears that wanted to fall. You didn't know how to fix any of the messes that had sprung up just in the past day. If you were still part of the Hale pack, then your aunt would have taken Scott in and showed him the ropes. She would have hunted down the rogue alpha and sorted them out before hunters could converge on your territory. None of this was anything you were capable of fixing alone and you suddenly felt so lonely that you couldn't stand it.

"Dad," you pleaded, your voice breaking on the word. "I don't know what to do."

Your phone buzzed with an incoming text just as a tear escaped down your cheek. You hastily wiped it away before pulling your phone from your pocket.

'Want to help me and Scott search for his inhaler in the woods? Doofus dropped it last night running from Thumper.'

"Shit," you groaned, moving to stand up. You let your dad's hand slip from yours, trying to fight off the usual guilt you felt whenever you left him. "I have to go. I'll see you later," you told him as you stood. You gave him a kiss on the cheek and grabbed your bag, not letting yourself look back at him all alone in his room, since you knew it always broke your heart to leave him.

Stiles had sent you the location where he parked his jeep, and it wasn't long before you pulling up next to his car.

Scott gave you a wave when he saw you and it hit you all at once that loveable, dorky Scott was likely turning into a werewolf.

"Hey, guys," you said, joining Stiles and Scott near the hood of Stiles' jeep. "What happened to your spare inhaler?" You asked Scott, watching his expression fall.

"That was my spare inhaler and mom's gonna kill me if I lose it. You know how expensive those things are?"

"Well, no one wants to make Melissa mad," you mused, thinking of the last time she really got pissed off with Scott and your brother. Her anger had nearly boiled over until it hit you and you would do just about anything to avoid Melissa McCall's wrath. "Let's get this over with," you sighed. "I don't want to be out here once it gets dark."

"Yeah," Stiles laughed, bumping companionably into Scott's side. "Wouldn't want to run into whatever took an imaginary bite out of Scott. Although, I have some theories about that, y'know. Wolves and bites and howling and all that."

"What? What are you talking about?" Scott's voice went high and panicked, but you knew your brother all too well.

"You've got a disease, Scotty," Stiles started, turning a grim look towards Scott. "It's called lycanthropy."

"What is that? Is it bad? Am I gonna die?"

"No, not bad," Stiles said, shooting you a grin. "Just comes around once a month...during the full moon." Stiles threw his head back and howled before giving way to laughter. "Lycanthropy, Scott. It means you're turning into a werewolf."

Even though you knew your brother was kidding, hearing the words coming from him still sent a shiver down your spine. If only he knew the danger was all too real and you were quickly running out of time before Scott became a huge problem.

"Stiles, come on, this is serious," Scott groaned, kicking aside some leaves in an attempt to find his inhaler. "What if I have rabies or something? What if I've got an infection?"

"Scotty, you're fine. If it was something serious, you would've been in the hospital by now."

Scott started arguing with Stiles, but you noticed an eerie stillness fall over the little pocket of forest you were standing in. You didn't realize you were being watched until you looked up and saw him for the first time in six years. A whole host of emotions fell over you, ranging from anger to betrayal to longing to happiness, before settling on confused.

"Derek," you found yourself muttering, your tone fused with disbelief.

What the hell was he doing back in Beacon Hills?

#teen wolf #isaac lahey #isaac lahey x reader #teen wolf imagine #isaac lahey imagine #twkosamh fic #reader insert #reader is a hale #reader is a stilinski #isaac lahey x you #my fic

168 notes · View notes

distantlaughter · 9 months

Text

THE SECRET NICO ROSBERG (IN HIS KARTING DAYS) TOLD BY DINO CHIESA

originally written by Luca Barnaba for TKART magazine 5 March 2022 (x)

The 2016 F1 world champion as you've never seen him before. Through the anecdotes (which are about destroyed hotel rooms, prostitutes and much more!) of those who knew him well, before he became a star.

After winning the Formula 1 world championship in 2016 and retiring from racing at the end of that same season, Nico Rosberg has shed his driver's shoes to take on those of an entrepreneur-influencer. In recent years, the former Mercedes driver has been involved in a variety of areas, such as promoting projects aimed at environmental sustainability, creating teams that participate in international electric racing series (such as the Rosberg X Racing team in Extreme E), and posting vlogs, track analyses, and stories on social media and about his life and memories. In short… About what Nico Rosberg is today, one really knows or can know everything.

But to know who Nico Rosberg was before F1, world triumph and fame, one has to rely on the stories of the people who saw him grow up and take his first steps in karting, people who know him well, like few others. Dino Chiesa is one of them. A prominent figure in the world of karting, founder of Kart Republic, over the years he has been manager and mentor to some of the promising, later to become undisputed stars, in karting and beyond, including: Alex Zanardi, Vitantonio Liuzzi, Lewis Hamilton and… Nico Rosberg himself.

Of Nico's karting period there are several "stories," especially about the emergence of the friendship-rivalry with Lewis Hamilton (another phenomenon of that generation), but very little is said about who (and how) young Nico was.

It is Dino Chiesa himself who reveals: "I remember him as a child, perhaps smaller than others his age. In the sense that he was more innocent than other peers: 'mannered,' polite." Kids, you know, at 10 to 12 years old begin to develop their character, on and off the track. And, basically, they divide into two groups: those who are less…mischievous and those who…are a little more so. If of Nico we can safely say that he fell into the former, his friend and teammate at the time, Lewis Hamilton, just as quietly we can say that he was part of the latter: "I have an episode that explains how Nico was, even compared to Lewis. I picked them up at the airport. When we arrived in Padua, before dropping them off at the hotel, we passed through a street where there are several prostitutes. Nico, naively, asked me 'What are those women doing there'. And I, considering that he was only 13 years old, replied 'They are waiting for the bus.' Nico did not reply. After a few seconds, however, Lewis said 'Can I take the bus tonight?'"

The genuineness of Nico's era, goes hand in hand with his goodness, which, according to the manager, could also be a flaw, especially when it related to races and competitions, although "Like all good people," Dino Chiesa recounts, "he later bursts."

"And he goes further, erring twice. The first time because out of his goodness he suffered. The second time because by blurting out he then overreacts."

If the portrait of little Rosberg you are getting from these stories looks a lot like a blond angel, know that it is not so. Even Nico - as a teenager - had a chance to show himself reckless: "One morning," Chiesa says, "he comes to the track before the race, makes me promise not to say anything to anyone, and shows me a wound on his foot. I ask him, 'How did you do that?' He said, 'Lewis started hitting me with pillows last night. I responded and we ended up throwing mattresses at each other outside the window of our hotel room. To avoid getting caught by my father and you we went to get them back only to climb over a net…I cut my foot!' I couldn't bring myself to scold him!"

A "naughty" little boy, like many others, then. Unlike many, however, Nico had to handle an unusual challenge early on, that of carrying a "heavy" last name on his shoulders: "Certainly having a father like Keke must not always have been easy. Every time, especially as a child, the comparison was automatically triggered, even though Nico was someone who never abused his surname and did not seek advantages just because he was famous.

"Indeed, as I know him, he is someone who would even go and sleep in a 2-star hotel without necessarily needing to have the suite. Also because, to be honest… He is someone who is very careful about spending."

His distinguishing features over the years have not changed: "For me he is still Nico, the kart guy. He hasn't changed. As he was then he is now, so much so that we talk very often by text or phone. And I for him, in my opinion, am still the one in the kart, his boss. So much so that he still calls me 'boss' today." Also because in his interpersonal relationships he has always maintained that good dose of genuineness: "He's not one of those people who has to have his friends who are soccer players or who are stars. If there is a need to go for a bike ride to train, he even goes with his neighbour."

Impossible, however, to talk about Nico Rosberg without putting his innate talent under the magnifying glass: "I put him among the best in the dry lap! In behaviour, however, he is a gentleman. One of those who does no improprieties, never over the top. Fast, but correct. Not a common thing." But his strong point was undoubtedly working on the kart and finding the best set-up: "He was The Best. In the sense that he was the first to do the dirty work, to prepare the material, to do whatever was necessary to develop chassis and engines."

#nico rosberg #nicology

168 notes · View notes