#also. i would just get too emotionally attached to them tbh

[justpollux]

i need to work. but all i can think of is. go nitro

#go nitro #maybe i can crochet go nitro related things #like go nitro bunny peeps #or go nitro ghosties #but i have to be able to sell them #and not only could i Not do that bc it's v niche #but i can't emotionally sell stuff based on it #pokemon is one thing #tiny singular author is another #also. i would just get too emotionally attached to them tbh #pollux posts

[intimidatingpuffinstudios]

I'm not sure if this is a spoiler question or if I am just dumb, but could you please tell me why is Manny so accepting of this whole soulmate bond thing? xd like shouldn't he be the one resisting the bond with all his might and looking for all the ways to break it? (You said that there is a possible way for MC to break it, so shouldn't he be able to do it too?) After all, it was forced on him bcs of the gods he resents, no?

Also in the novel, if i remember correctly, the moment he finds out that MC is his soulmate, he says something along the lines of, "I never imagined this, but now that it's happening, hell yeah". Shouldn't he be, idk, resentful? Not cooperative? Unwilling, at least for a while? It's not like MC is some kind of hot catch for him, so why just not get rid of them before the bond even forms?

Again, sorry if you have answered this, or if it's so obvious to everyone else that there is no need for that and i am just slow lol xp (is our bbg just so lonely? I can't tell :c)

I could write a whole essay about this, tbh, but no one wants to read that lol!😆

Essentially, what it boils down to is that, at least in the beginning, that super intense urge to be with someone is something totally novel and unexpected for him.

He has never been in love or gotten emotionally attached to another person.

The newness and intensity of the feeling thrills him because he has been feeling numb for a long time.

He never thought he'd love anyone or even want to, but in that moment where he experienced true desire for the first time, he found he liked it. So trying to kill the MC would be like cutting off his own nose to spite his face.

Then, as time progressed, what he felt for the MC became deeper and was not just because of the bond.

So now he's head over heels and not trying to deny it or hide from it.

Say what you want about him, but self-delusion is not one of his flaws.

#the soul stone war #tssw #manerkol #interactive fiction

[serenequeenofeverything]

What your teams of lights wants you to know? A self tarot reading.

Group i, ii, iiii, iv

But before we move on onto the reading, i want you to understand what teams of light is.

Now I won't go into details, but if you want a separate post on this, let me know in the replies. I would be more than happy to teach you more.

This is a direct quote from Laura lynne Jackson, the author of "signs: the secret language of the universe" :

" We all have a Team of Light on the Other Side. These teams send us signs.

These signs come from three distinct forces:

1. We receive signs from God energy, which is what I mean when I say signs from the universe. This is the highest and most powerful source of love, and we are each directly connected to it, and also to one another through it.

2. We receive signs from our spirit guides / the angelic realm.

3. We receive signs from our loved ones who have crossed."

Now here is the thing, you don't need me to deliver these messages to you. You receive them yourself everyday, but you might simply dismiss it. Im here to tell you what you already probably know but also probably choose to ignore or not pay much attention to.

Now shall we begin?

Just breath in and out. Let's begin.

Group i

You are not stuck as u like to think. You know your way out of this thing (a good majority of you already made it out of this situation) tbh i mostly see a relationship but it could also totally be something related to finances and just money in general.

Here is what you need to hear tho, whoever and whatever this situation was, you will do so much better without them. You are more than capable of handling this alone. And ur teams of light are more than willing to help you, to make this easier for you. So ask for help, but within not from the outside. U have so much within urself that the world outside is nothing but a failed attempt to reflect what you already have.

This song came in so strong, listen to it.

Group ii

Very similar message to group i, kinda the same theme but while theirs revolved around trusting the self, and working through their situation alone, yours is more about collaborating with others to solve this. Now i know this may have failed for you before, but this time try differently, maybe with a different person (s).

Ur luck is about to be better but here's what i (and you teams of light) need you to do, 1. Have stronger boundaries 2. Dont get emotionally attached to these people (person) this is business, not friendship. 3. Just this time try, i promise it will go better.

Group iii

Honestly this is the group that i feel most horrible for. This group seems to be going through a lot financially speaking, some of you might even be on the verge of going homeless. Listen up my babe, you know your situation better than i do, u actually know way too well that bad your situation is or can potentially become, and it's stressing you out beyond measures.

Your teams of light is clearly saying "go there" "go back", it's something about relying on another person or maybe even the government, maybe a shelter or a father figure (I definitely see a dad) to help you in this. This is the best thing to do. Trust me, this time reach out for your own sake and safety.

Group iv

Wow and here I thought only group iii situation was bad. um.. so do u struggle with some sort of addiction? Or do you feel like you are in a home or a situation that's crumbling to the group but u r stuck and you cannot get out? If that's not you then this is not your group(altho i still suggest u read the advice section in case it might somehow be exactly what u need to hear).

Okay, if you know this is your group, then let me tell you that there's a way out. Something will come up, idk what it is but it will be big. Most probably a guy will come in, they will offer you something, an idea maybe? (Altho be fucking careful, this whole situation is very effy). I genuinely dont know what's happening... like legit this group confuses the fuck out of me, so idk if u should take this offer... dont get desperate and i know u r desperate but it's almost like the cards are telling me to tell you to not trust this person but to use their idea. Almost like listen to their advice and take their advice but not with them in the plan..

Im gonna give u an example so u understand; you live in an abusive household, and u wanna escape it. But u cannot find the way out, then boom this guy comes in and is like I'll help you but long term if u go with them u will end up in a very bad situation. But here's another way to do it, this person tells u how they will help you, like their plan to get u out, what i need u to do is do as their plan minus them( the guy).

Hopefully this makes sense, english is my third language so i find it hard to tell u exactly how it is.

-----------------------------------------------

Anyways, this is it. I hope this helps you.

Also follow me bc... im too good.

And also u can totally suggest what my next reading should be on by simply replying to this post (altho i dont take personal readings right now)

#pac reading #pick a card #pick a pile #free tarot reading #tarot cards #daily tarot #love reading

[76blades]

I can no longer stay silent.

I always feel bad for venting out loud, whether it be publicly or to my Twitter circle (which I have been doing a lot lately, and I’m sorry if it’s been distressing (…my point exactly)). But things have not been ok, nor have shown any significant chances of getting better anytime soon. I know I’m gonna be beating myself up later for posting this, but I’m sick and tired and I can’t stay quiet. I’m desperate for change.

For those who don’t know, Winter’s family (and job) has been severely mentally and emotionally abusing her, and it’s not just because of her gender identity. They’ve threatened and harassed her over her showing any negative emotions, her body, her interests, the food she eats, you name it. Granted, it’s not my tale to tell, but it has been BAD as of late for her, and it definitely has affected me. I might be going through some similar stuff with my dad, but he’s nothing compared to them.

Speaking of, for those who don’t know about my dad, he’s a slightly better version of Winter’s parents; a well-intended asshole but still an asshole. He has caused me to question my sanity and safety several times, and he refuses to acknowledge my anxiety as anything serious, and believes it’s something I can easily control and/or an act I put on. He’s been trying to pull me into college even though I’ve told him several times that I don’t want to, and he’s told me several times that if I don’t follow his advice then I’m only gonna end up nowhere. He certainly doesn’t believe anything regarding Winter’s situation either, and views it all with rose-tinted glasses. 

He also demands to know my entire schedule for the week, that I laugh at his jokes or smile when I don’t want to; and he even touches my shoulders and back without my consent, and he’ll get mad when I express my discomfort. I was dreading having to move back in with him because I knew this would all be happening, only for it to be so much worse. I don’t even feel comfortable recording when he’s home because I’m afraid of him yelling and/or making fun of me. And yet, it’s funny and sad how he’s an absolute saint compared to Winter’s family.

Winter and I have been breaking our backs trying to save up for a new home, but our jobs have been cruel to us on top of our families. We’re being overworked and underpaid, and a good chunk of our paychecks goes towards food and travel expenses. And while we’ve been trying our best to push our comms, we’re still a far way from freedom.

I don’t ever want to come off as a beggar for money, attention, etc., and I feel anxious whenever I boost my comms because of that, and yet I also feel like that’s exactly what I’m doing here. But I need to be transparent with you all about my and Winter’s situation. I am truly afraid that one of might truly snap, with the little remaining of our sanity vanishing in an instant. Tbh I feel like that person is more likely to be me than her. 

Regardless, I’m unsure of what else to do right now other than to keep boosting commissions and whatnot (and I might make a Ko-Fi goal too, idk), but I want to keep finding affective (and healthy) ways to spread awareness of our situation and help bring us a few steps closer to where we want to be.

I know I’ve said that I feel like I’m waiting for a miracle that won’t come, but maybe you all could help us bring that miracle to life. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this and support us.

I will be attaching links to my comms and Ko-Fi, as well as Winter’s. If you have any questions or would like to consider commissioning us, feel free to DM or Email either of us.

TLDR: Winter and I are being abused. We're desperate to leave our perspective toxic environments, and we need some extra help.

My Commissions | My Ko-Fi | Winter's Commissions | Winter's Ko-Fi

[sleepyistinky]

Here's a little snippet from a fic I'm working on!!

If there’s one thing Jason has promised himself, it’s that he would not end up like Bruce. 

He wouldn’t be an emotionally closed-off bastard, he wouldn’t drag kids into this fucked up family business, and he certainly wouldn’t let Joker get away with traumatizing a kid the same way Joker traumatized him and his family.

He also promised himself not to get attached to any kids, period.

So why, pray tell, is he standing here with an unconscious teenager (God, he’s so small, is he even a teenager? He looks thirteen at most) in his arms. Both of them are covered in a familiar toxic green liquid, and the corners of Jason’s vision are tinged the same color. The kid is only in some sort of high-tech super-suit, possibly even more high-tech than Jason’s helmet or the batmobile, and the kid’s gripping what Jason assumes is the kid’s mask in his hand. Not to mention the bulky ass backpack that is way too big for the kid hanging from his elbow. And god, does the kid look like Dick so much. The kid’s got these freckles covering his cheeks, his skin tanned with barely noticeable scars here and there. It’s obvious he’s not from Gotham. Metropolis, maybe. He’s also got the same shock of white stands in the front of his hair, and Jason’s willing to bet he’s also probably got some bright green eyes behind those closed eyelids as well.

If Jason begins to follow in Bruce’s footsteps when it comes to collecting kids who have the same anger (well, kinda) as him? Well, he’ll let it slide this once. He’s sure Dick will be excited to be a kinda-sorta-maybe uncle.

-

Basically, just all those other Spider-Man gets sent to Gotham EXCEPT I am not planning anything out and it's going to be Tom Holland's Spide-Man, ATSV Miles, Gwen, Pav, margo, and Hobie. I'll probably have Jason punch Miguel at some point tbh

#dc comics #dc universe #dcu #jason todd #batfam #across the spiderverse #tom holland peter parker #peter parker #miles morales #gwen stacy #spider gwen #pavitr prabhakar #hobie brown #spiderman atsv #atsv miguel #atsv hobie #atsv miles #atsv gwen #atsv pavitr #margo kess #atsv margo #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #nightwing #dick grayson #richard grayson #richard dick grayson #jason todd and peter parker #why is that not a tag #fanfic

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

@thegoatsongs asked about my Jonathan Is Too Human To Be A Man In This Culture hypothesis and i have to like restrain myself from developing it at length or getting too attached to it as of yet because tbh i have never actually watched any dracula adaptation so i’m going off second- and thirdhand impressions + cultural osmosis.  but (vague spoilers herein!) there seems to be consensus among jonathan enjoyers who have partaken of adaptations that our friend jonathan is poorly served by them on the whole, suggesting that, at the very least, dracula adapters are mostly not looking at this guy and saying as we have declared here “hey this dude is a compelling protagonist on which to focus narrative energy more or less as he appears in the original text.” which has bothered me for like almost a full year now because like i can kind of see how you would get there from the castle portion but i don’t get how you get there from the castle portion PLUS like… everything that happens in october. like, jonathan enters the book as a gothic heroine, but he leaves it on very firm footing as more or less an action hero. i like many people on this website find this insanely viscerally compelling even just at face value as a fun juicy emotionally engaging pulpy fictional narrative. The Culture At Large meanwhile seems to have totally left it on the table over the course of 6 million adaptations.

and like, on the other hand i don’t ever wanna make definitive over-determined claims and i think it’s always worth keeping in mind that adaptations influence future adaptations and once even one adaptation exists future go-rounds are almost never reacting solely to the original source text and are influenced not only by other adaptations but by other cultural trends and developments etc etc etc. but on the other hand i got 5 hours of sleep last night and am Posting through it and we’re all on tumblr to be bisexual eat hot chip and speculate in wild overgeneralizations about The Culture so given all those caveats i will say that especially given that the book’s been fully in the public domain since fucking 1962 and given that its popularity remains such that two separate New Take On Content From The Novel Dracula movies came out this year alone, it’s hard for me not to get a little But Why re: the jonathan of it all, and it’s also hard for me not to feel like part of the issue here is that people don’t know what to make of a male character who is so profoundly vulnerable and victimized, who is shown in moments of terrible weakness both narratively (through his powerlessness and at times literal paralysis in the castle) and emotionally (through his delicate and frazzled post-castle state in which mina must take care of him)…. and who is also shown to be a competent, decisive, courageous, knife-sharpening vampire-slaying badass.

i don’t think this is necessarily unique to jonathan in the cast of dracula or in the culture at large (one thing i’ve been meaning to revisit is megan abbott’s paper on how screen depictions of philip marlowe smooth out the “troubled masculinity” that jumps off the page in chandler’s novels), and i also don’t think the problem of “this whole ass human is breaking gender” is limited to male characters (absolutely unhinged and derangedly niche reference to make but i got five hours of sleep last night: i did think while writing this out that it reminded me of the ways animorphs ghostwriters kind of reduced rachel to a tormented badass while failing to capture her clearly established vulnerability and compassion). but jonathan is a character that i have thought about a lot in this regard simply because i find him so appealing for frankly unsophisticated reasons.

somewhere in there also is floating the thing about straight men responding with incredulity to the fact that any woman might find timothee chalamet hot when meanwhile many women are like “uh guys who look like consumptive orphans are my number one type and always have been hello???” like, something something the assumption that there’s an inherent contradiction between weakness and masculine appeal when many women attracted to men know it’s The Opposite. (what is the castle sequence if not something that would get tagged “whump” on ao3? what did stoker do to jonathan if not break the cutie?) but again (1) this is not a well developed or articulated theory i am simply Posting please no one @ me about coherence or evidence at this time (2) legit i slept like 5 hours. probably less.

#dracula daily #dracula spoilers #sorry for referencing tv tropes in 2023 you can’t get mad at me on this the day i am so sleepy

[weaselbeaselpants]

The 'Quinton v Nebula'clique' drama

[[[ DO NOT BOTHER THE PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS POST]]]

I saw on Twitter that Quinton had filmed a response to one of his critics whom he had a more personable interaction with. After going through all the info laid out by non-biased, non Wikitubia sources that aren't gushing abt shit that doesn't matter, as well as I guess what we'll call the "opposing sides" here's what I can surmise:

A yt named FlowersGothic had some kind of parasocial interest in Quinton and really wanted to be his solo editor and more* irl

-> Quinton himself also has/had his own parasocial attachments to people, namely Lindsay Ellis and Sarah Zed, I think. I def remember how the two expressed publicly that they aren't into working with him after (I think???) he trauma dumped and was waaay to emotionally volatile when asking to be their friend, which naturally turned them away and creeped them out. Whether or not he was definitely creeping on either women is unclear but yeah I get why they were uncomfortable.

All parties involved here already know this, but it's not Lindsay and Sarah's responsibility for Quinton's validation or feelings of rejection. they don't have to be friends w him when they feel like he pushed their boundaries. I do feel like, frankly, a lot of these receipts are being presented as worse than they are by the 4chan/KiwiFarmers doing the digging...if Quinton's going to be called a creeper, it better be by the ppl he hurt and not randos who don't even like Sarah or Lindsay abt how they should feel...

-> Flowers took her job as editor waay too personally and also messaged Quinton drunk twice, on Halloween saying she wanted to be more than friends

-> Quinton said no. Like Ellis and Zed, he's not responsible for Flowers' feelings and validation, just her paycheck which he said did pay her fill on

-> Flowers did a 180 and said she now hated him, apparently blamed him for her emotional problems and state and started to compile a list of grievences she's had and spit that back at Quinton.

-> Flowers has been presenting these receipts as absolutes for awhile now

-> Quinton for the first time responds on his second channel to Flowers accusations; presenting his side and also saying Flowers' is using half-truths and sometimes straight up lying

-> Dan Olson and Lady Emily, friends of Lindsay and Sarah respectively have vague tweeted today very obviously abt Quinton. Don't know exactly what Olson said, but Emily def is implying that Quinton = bad

-> people are now wondering if Flowers is somewhat responsible the schism and that the 'Nebula Clique' is siding with her and other people's own biased thoughts against Quinton as fueled by their own less than positive circumstances with him.

It's sad. I haven't watched anything by Flowers. I think I would, actually, but these are some very heavy things she's accusing here and things she's being accused of. I don't actually know any of these people exactly, but none of them seem like liars -if anything I see Quinton as being a little bit waywaywaay too honest sometimes? Not understanding like Contrapoints, I guess, but you know- tmi?

As an outsider, this looks like a matter of a lot of hut feelings and neurodivergents' judging other neurodivergents' behavior based on their own bad experiences.

I hate calling the Nebula crowd a 'clique', tbh. As someone who is always on the outside of other friend groups and so know the feeling of jealousy and exclusivity, I think it's easy to just look as any gang of well-netted creators as a "clique" when they could very well just be protective of each other. Considering the bs Sarah and all the former TGWTG-folks had to deal with I get their apprehension of Quinton.

I also tho really get Quinton as someone dealing w similar issues as him, and I'd be heartbroken to find out he's lying or even just accusing someone else of lying.

Gosh I hope this blows over and gets resolved and doesn't reach the pos drama channels out there.

#quinton reviews #sarah zed #sarah z #lindsay ellis #breadtube

[pommunist]

Hello, I'm another anon that is also kind of scared to keep posting about the situation. Actually, I've reblogged a couple of posts actually of the situation but, not too much of it. I don't want to come across as too negative and I try to be careful of what I reblog about it. Though, I also fear that people might think that I'm perfectly fine or okay with Dapper/Pomme and the french cc's being gone because I don't express my outward opinion on it (which it does make me depressed). I try to liveblog as normal when I watch my streamer in the QSMP and not think about it because I know that it will just send me in a downward spiral, but it upsets me to think that some people might believe that I or other blogs that are quiet about their opinions - would not be depressed over it or upset. The whole situation surrounding Dapper and Pomme has made me cry, I was so emotionally attached to these eggs. I'm glad they're out of that shitty treatment though, even if I miss them a lot. It also makes me depressed that the french cc's on the server are going to be gone and that the QSMP Studios didn't even care to keep them on by communicating to Pomme and leaving her in the dark for three weeks. Quackity should have been more involved into his own project, and communicating with ALL of his employees, he's the boss, he should have checked so that this terrible worker situation wouldn't have happened to begin with - maybe that's unrealistic of me and just my emotions talking but it's how I feel. Dapper shouldn't have been hired, I don't know if that's a hot take or not but I haven't seen many people talk about it? They were hired as a minor, where people make constant sex jokes and have a sex club - it just makes me uncomfortable that they were exposed to that and to working conditions that they should have never been in. It also makes me uncomfortable to see that there's still admins working in the QSMP like cucurucho or mr.reaper because their situation still isn't fixed? I haven't seen anyone else talk about this either and it just sits so weirdly to me. If the admins are being put on a break so that they can restructure QSMP, why is there still a few there working? It's just a lot of my thoughts, sorry for the vent but I felt that I needed to get my emotions out there without being known for it (blog wise)

At the end of the day anon, your blog is your blog, you should express yourself on it the way YOU want.

Don’t worry about what people may think, do what feels right for you and if there are some who may find it annoying or whatever, then they’ll just block tags and not see what they don’t want to see anymore.

I worried a lot about bothering people at first and then started thinking that if it’s the case, they can just block me, no hard feelings, and I can keep sharing what I want on my blog, and they don’t have to see it. win win situation !

As for the rest, about Dapper’s admin being hired as a minor tbh it’s true that they shouldn’t have been hired. I know they were close to turn into an official adult when they were hired, and I wouldn’t want anyone else to play Dapper, but Qstudios should have been very strict on this stuff.

As for some admins still being on the server, it was to expect when they reopened it, if only because if there are players on QSMP, you at least need someone who will help with bugs, server maintenance, making sure someone doesn’t break something important…

I think once during a recent BBH stream, you could see the « government names » of the admins (QNPCXX). When asked about them, Lea said that these were high ranked admins (and one of them was a « bad » one). So yeah chances are that admins that currently have access to the server are high admins/people who weren’t volunteers.

#discourse

[spicedfink]

Someone posted their opinion on tophabe and I'm not going to @ them since people are apparently being weird but it did make me want to voice my tophabe take because tbh it made me feel insecure and like I needed to explain myself because they were right and so real for what they said.

My thing with (s2) episode 8 is first off I can only process parts of it at a time because that episode made me uncomfortable Second is there is one major factors I take in when thinking about tophabe and a few minor factors: The biggest thing is Joan the canon end game love interest as far as we have been shown tried to point blank kill everybody which is objectively worse. As for minor factors I'll use bullet points: - Cleo also manipulates Abe not to that degree but for longer - All the cast are kind of bad people but the show only framed Topher's actions as bad which I found weird when I really thought about it then they said Harriet was a theater kid and I stopped caring about what the writing was meant to convey - Him giving good advice first in s2e8 reminds me of how I used to give a friend of mine bad advice as a joke when they kept ignoring my real advice and for some reason they took my joke advice seriously. - Topher wasn't in the classroom with Abe so he didn't know the teacher had been hitting on him so it feels like he's just making shit up on the spot - I don't see how Topher would have seen this working. Like it shows him being right there when it starts but like how? I know it's just because the plot said so but the actual "go sleep with this gross person" seems more like a "oh Abe would never actually do that" line of thought - like it reads more as "if I can get Abe insecure he won't ask Joan out" then "Abe will defiantly go for this" (still shitty but less) - It's a cartoon and their actions are exaggerated - s2e8 was such a horribly done episode all around that I can't do anything other than cherry pick it - poor mental health is hardly an excuse but man do I believe his therapist isn't doing him any favors (which is why I have his change therapist in my fanfics) - The fact they're still shitty high schoolers meaning they all have the most room for growth and I'm projecting my own journey of because and actual good person and figuring out my sexuality onto him (obviously wasn't his level of shitty but I said dumb shit and did weird emotionally charged things thanks to how I was raised and poor mental health) - Episode 1 of season 2 Topher got the t-rex arms so I attached myself to his character right then and there ("he's autistic just like me") - I like happy things. The show gave a character who they made clear was suppose to be disliked and bullied for being horrible and didn't show him do anything actually that bad until episode 8 out of 10. And before that ranges from normal weird teenager things he'd logically grow out of, trying too hard to be socially accepted and being mentally ill??? Like no. No I'm personally not going to think this character is a horrible person incapable of growth... And this is why my serious non one sided tophabe headcanons are all for when they are older because I really think Topher would, you know grow up and regret his past actions. Also since I see Topher as queer: internalized homophobia and the such are a bitch (speaking from experience)

I don't actually have a good reason for why Abe would like Topher back past I just think it'd be fun. If Abe gets with Joan and is friends with Cleo I think he should still be friends with Topher though

#clone high #tophabe #topher bus #a lot of my hcs are me working through my own shit #projecting traits you feel bad about having/that you had onto a character is helpful #epically if you write them a redemption arch #or forgive them for the flaw #no but people who hate topher are so real and right #like 100% they are taking what the show wants you to take away #I just started relating to him episode 1 over nothing then projected from there #also making him mentally ill really didn't help make me think he's a bad person #maybe stop making mentally ill characters villains/bad people?? #I don't care if people want to share their takes with/at me #it probably won't change how I feel about it #but go ahead if you like #long post

[callingacode]

What’s your ultimate medfet fantasy

So... This is going to be a long answer so prepare yourself. But first a bit of a background to me...

Despite my lack of relationship experience, When it comes to any sort of kink dynamics, I consider myself much much more of a "switch" and so alot of my ultimate fantasies when it comes to any sort of kink scenario are scenarios where i would be equally happy/fulfilled on either side, dominant/submissive, patient/doctor, owner/pet, caregiver/little etc... I have a very... Feminine interaction and relationship with kinks, whereby alot of what makes them fun is the emotions and intangible aspects of them that make them amazing. For a quick example (not an answer to the question), sure it's fun to give CPR to someone or to have it done on you, but what makes it REALLY hot is the urgency of CPR, the passion that goes into someone forcing a heart to beat, the intimacy of breathing for someone and closely watching and feeling their body for any improvement to their condition. So for me, any link scenario for me, is perfect where it brings out the exact emotions and feelings that I want expressed.

A good thing about cardiophillia and medfet at large is, I feel it has a lot of crossover to many other kinks I am into, and it becomes very very hard for me to describe a singular scenario as my absolute favourite.

Now, I'm not into dark cardiophillia stuff, and tbh I'm not into alot of "darker" kinks, like CNC, humiliation, degredation, torture... Stuff like that, I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum - I LOVE LOVE LOVE, the gentle tenderness and intimacy that (for medfet) comes with looking after someone and being looked after yourself. To be so closely looked after and monitored to make sure you're well looked after etc etc.

Off the back of that, I think, one of my favourite (purely fantasy) medfet scenarios, would be one of:

Recovery room/ICU after an extremely long and difficult surgery.

Either side of this scenario provides me the most emotional and physical fulfilment. Physically, all the different equipment that I am attached too, to monitor me and my heart, breathe for me (potentially), push different medications into me. Or, on the other side, it's going through and checking each of these machines individually, pushing different medications, checking for signs of recovery. All the different senses that that room would also fill in, hearing them, feeling them. If I was a nurse checking on you/the patient, maybe I'd also have to wear additional gowns/gloves when I go into the patients room. Maybe you're my only patient so your wellbeing and recovery becomes my sole responsibility. Every time I have to lean into you and gently press my stethoscope onto your chest, being especially delicate with you while I check your vitals...

In a scenario where it's just 1:1 patient to doctor/nurse, it's gets all the intimacy/gentle caring vibe and feelings that I love to receive and to give in kinks broadly.

This isn't the scenario I hold above all else, just one example that I feel would be able to emotionally and physically fulfill me - there are loads of others I could have described that would be emotionally/physically fulfilling in a very similar way, but this is just one where I feel it's easier to explain.

[pumpkinpie59]

random hot takes i have cause i’m bored and emotionally dead:

-i literally cannot stand any leo ship other than leolotus, especially if it involves 87 leonardo. i’m sorry but it has made me physically nauseous before. shipping as a joke or a small crush on someone else is fine but pls don’t bother me about other leo ships it’s too much for me. ((i won’t hate u if u ship other ships dw <3 i just ask not to be bothered by it)

-i’ve already ranted about this so i won’t go into depth but i hate the 2012 season 4 finale (moreso requiem than owari but owari still bothers me). i think in general? i think 2012’s writing is mindbogglingly bad after they leave the farmhouse in season 3, but that doesn’t mean i don’t still enjoy a lot of it. just don’t expect me to drop the issues that bother me. season 1 is my baby tho and i’ll defend it to my dying day.

-2012 apritello is good. they just had to go through character development. my only issue with it is that their entire situation was pushed to the background so ppl only notice their development if they’re paying attention to april and donnie the whole time (like i do).

-1987 treats its girl characters better than the other shows which is shocking.

-capril sucks. i have literally never liked it or was just neutral to it. i got close to liking them in idw but then casey became a jerk.

-that said i don’t like shipping casey or april with the turtles with the one exception of 2012 apritello.

-i think 03 casey and splinter are annoying.

-2012 casey is best casey :p

-2012 michelangelo pisses me off. he has some good lines here and there and sometimes has fun dynamics with other characters but in general he’s just an ableist representation of adhd and he literally never faces consequences for his mistakes and instead everything works out for him so he never grows. like literally he stays the same throughout the show. also i dislike his actor sorry :p and his entire dynamic with renet just ruins renet as a character and it bothers me.

-i forget rise exists most of the time tbh. it’s good but like. i forget. also rise leo and donnie’s writing bothers me anyway-

-1987 content needs to sTOP mischaracterizing raphael PLS PLS PLS. “michelangelo is the jokester and raphael groans at his jokes” NO!!! raphael is the jokester so he gets upset when his brothers make stupid jokes bc that’s HIS thing !!!!!! and he’s not angry in the same way other raphaels are except in red sky when he was angry that they became villains in society’s eyes!!! but otherwise he’s emotional and whiny but not angry!!!

-leonardo is best when he’s a dork. he wants to do the right thing but will be a frickin idiot about it but - oh wait buddy don’t do that no wait put the sword down hold on-

-the turtles should never have blue eyes but especially not michelangelo.

-ramona is great but it’s okay for them to just be friends too. either way they slay <3

-lotus blossom and jhanna are the most under appreciated characters in tmnt give them some respECT-

-i think howie should come back. not bc he’s a good character i just wanna see what would happen.

-i hate koya. so much.

-mondo/mikey makes me rlly uncomfortable. it feels exactly like leo/venus since they mutated in the same place so mondo feels like a long lost sibling …

-this is literally just my take and i don’t expect others to agree but like. the 1987 team is the only version of tmnt where i feel like every turtle is equally likable and works as a unit best. like i like 03, but i don’t especially get attached to mikey? he’s good but compared to the other 03 turtles he’s just not my fav. same with 2012 but more extreme since it has rlly good raph, donnie, and leo,, but like i said i really dislike mikey. and then i’m not rlly attached to the rise turtles except mikey. the 87 team tho is all great.

-while i rlly love rise casey, i think waiting to reveal she was casey was a bad idea. i think she should’ve been introduced as casey or should’ve been a different character,,,

-i like red sky but the last episode was a disappointment,, also where are all my fav side characters 😭

-the turtles should never be tall they will always be lil guys to me. they should be under 5 ft plsssss

-not a hot take just a hc that was recently revealed to me and i think it’s genius: the 5th turtle kirby (like from 90s concept art) should be the donatello clone from 1987. like hello??? that’s genius pls watch the clone donatello episode

-if i see yall reducing mm april to just be shipped with leo i will end yall.

-lotus blossom is an interesting character even without her connection to leonardo and i wish everyone would notice !!!!

-not a hot take but rob paulsen should be in every tmnt thing we should make it tradition.

#pumpkin stuff #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt mm #rottmnt #tmnt hot takes

[aegidiusrex]

Being aromantic but emotionally intense myself as a person, characters who don’t feel love normally or straightforwardly and/or experience attraction in an unconventional way really grip me, and Gil & Luis hit that spot for me so well… sometimes I think I simplify them down to a “mutually unrequited love/mutual emotional constipation but secretly they’re in love” kind of dynamic purely for ease of communication, because communicating in trope speak is effective in fandom spaces, but that’s not what they are tbh.

Gil’s feelings for Luis are like, I have soft humiliating feelings for the human that you are, but I hate the figurehead you also are, and those two sides of Luis’ persona have no hard dividing line so he feels those things for Luis very much together at the same time. He’s also attracted to/aroused by the opportunity to dominate Luis BECAUSE he often dislikes Luis and feels powerless under him, so he’s not exactly repulsed by Luis’ cruel side either. Gil is also riddled with Stockholm syndrome and he knows it, he knows that his feelings are muddied by his literal dependence on Luis as his master & captor, he NEEDS Luis’ continued favor or he will literally die, so he can’t even trust his own feelings or his attachment to Luis as being from a genuine place in his heart. And when he does feel some genuine longing for something real with Luis, he feels so much guilt and self loathing about it that it makes him feel better to just withhold this from Luis to the point of hurting Luis with his detachment. He knows Luis wants to make a real connection with him and he denies him because he wants Luis to suffer a little bit too. So it’s not exactly that he’s uncommunicative about his true feelings because he’s embarrassed, or because he believes they’re completely unrequited, but because he knows he can’t have anything with Luis anyway so he might as well dangle that out of Luis’ reach. The one thing he has the power to deny Luis is his heart.

Which is the thing Luis wants the most! Deliciously! Luis’ feelings for Gil are based on this strong attraction he has to authenticity, new experiences, adrenaline, a relationship he could never have with anyone else. The nature of Gil’s feelings matter very little to him. Gil’s hatred is just as valuable as Gil’s love because it’s real and it’s for Luis specially and exclusively. Luis spends so much energy trying to draw out ANY genuine reaction from Gil because he loves seeing that kind of authenticity directed at him, as someone who is constantly surrounded by disingenuous manipulators. Luis himself is a disingenuous manipulator. He has never known anything else. So when Gil looks at Luis with the undisguised intent to kill him, Luis is immediately addicted to it. Many people hate him and would love to see him dead but they smile and play nice and pay him empty compliments. He loves the unique danger of going to bed with a man who could, and would very much like to cut his throat in his sleep. It’s not really clear if Luis just doesn’t have the perspective to take this danger seriously or if he is subconsciously self destructive. I think the latter fits very well with his character. Luis is the type of person who sees a priceless porcelain vase that’s very significant to its owner and has this compulsion to smash it. And I think since he sees himself as this valuable commodity, since that’s the only way anyone has ever seen him, there is something attractive to him about being broken and defiled by somebody who sees no inherent value in him at all. He could not ask anyone but Gil to fuck him the way he wants to be fucked, and on top of that, Gil gets just as much out of it as Luis does. Fucking is the surest way for Luis to draw out Gil’s true nature. But Luis is greedy and he wants to know that Gil’s heart is all his, too, whatever is in it, and Gil will never give him the satisfaction (of knowing that it absolutely is.)

#gillou #otp ramblings #chewing on them chewing on them chewing on th

[dem0nguy]

RAMBLETIMERAMBLETIMERAMBLETIMERAMBLETIME

(Thanks @spinningbagel for persuading me to ramble lol)

Ok so I’m gonna ramble about Sheriff (and a bit of Ryan), and how much I headcannon/theorize he was traumatized throughout his childhood and the effects of that later on.

Starting it off strong, WHERE THE FUCK ARE SHERIFF AND RYAN’S PARENTS??

Like we just have these two silly boys, living on a pig farm, all by themselves??

They had to have parents at some point right? So where they at???

(Unrelated but I find the 2D flashback style in this show aesthetically pleasing, it’s just so smooth and nice looking :>)

I think that their parents just owned the farm, and made Jim and Ryan do all the damn work while they sit on their asses doing nothing all day.

That would explain Ryan’s need to join the army, and to take Sheriff with him. Because he knew damn well that their parents weren’t gonna take care of Sheriff.

I don’t think their parents outright abused the two of them though, I think it was just child neglect (yippee)

Sheriff was still pretty young when Ryan joined the army (probably like, in his early teens) and being in that environment took a major toll on him. It’s likely what made him such a cocky asshole tbh.

Compared to everyone else in the series, Sheriff is the most emotionally immature. Aside from the fart jokes, he is a genuine egotistical asshole half the time. He even gets on Shooter’s nerves, and Shooter isn’t nearly as bad as him when it comes to this. (Shooter’s just a little bit of a dumbass, but its ok, we still love him <3)

This does make sense in relation to Sheriff randomly proclaiming himself as leader of La Résistance though. His only real adult figures were army men who order people around and get whatever they want. So he must’ve taken after them when given the opportunity to “lead.”

It is possible that he picked up a few good things from Ryan, but I think that was greatly overshadowed by everything else.

Later on down the line when the Big Fart happened and Sheriff lost Ryan, I imagine that it took an incredible toll on him. Ryan was Sheriff’s only friend, and only family, and he just lost that in the blink of an eye.

After that, Sheriff wandered aimlessly for a while, waiting for the mutation to overtake him. When he realized it wasn’t overtaking him, he decided to find a new purpose.

That purpose was likely something along the lines of “Ryan would want me to keep going.” Because honestly, he really didn’t have jackshit else to keep going for.

He also 110% has an unhealthy attachment to the star Ryan gave him. He doesn’t go anywhere without it.

He was probably a loner for a while too, he became a treasure hunter(thief) to get by, and then racked up debt with Brutux by stealing from the land he had claimed.

Knowing Sheriff, he definitely knew it was Brutux’s territory and thought he could get away with stealing.

(This reminds me, i need to ramble about Brutux at some point, because my guy is a gang leader and it’s just never addressed???)

I think Shooter was the first person Sheriff had trusted in a while, because although he definitely seemed hesitant at first, he also seemed gullible. He was willing to trust someone he met not a few hours ago.

He was desperate to be around people again, to have someone like Ryan to trust and rely on. Shooter did take quick advantage of that though, which I feel like should’ve hurt Sheriff more than it did.

(Another reminder, i need to ramble about Sheriff and Shooters gayness. (SLOW ROMANTIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS DURING THAT SCENE ABOVE, I SWEAR IT. ALSO JUST LOOK AT HOW SHOOTER LOOKS AT HIM! ITS SO GAY!!!))

Anyways I think thats all I got folks, hope you enjoyed the rambling! :3

#ramblings #ramble time #mutant busters #sheriff #ryan #shooter #sheriff mutant busters #ryan mutant busters #shooter mutant busters #help my sanity #traumatizing characters yippee

[quietbluejay]

Notes for the crack Loyalist!Lucius AU

Once again just copied with minimal editing from discord. Does it make sense? eh. Is it in character? probably not. Is it silly? yes. Was it fun to play around with? Absolutely.

I'm still thinking about the loyalist!lucius au where eidolon turns him down because it's so much in eidolon's character to do that also after finding out loken somehow survived isstvan iii that means that other people could also have survived, in theory

malcador: im recruiting you to be part of a secret elite unit lucius: i like "elite" malcador: you will get no glory and no recognition lucius: ahkay im out

malcador keeps sending him on extremely flashy suicide missions and lucius keeps surviving the way malcador gets him to agree to the missions is that they're high risk high reward and because they're high visibility impossible missions his name is out there iirc in the original version of this he became Slaanesh's champion anyways, just fighting on the opposite side lucius to various imperials: im going to teach you all about the power of rock like hm realistically tho malcador would try to kill him like not just via suicide mission but more immediately if he went chaos even crackier idea where malcador kills lucius, succeeds and now lucius is malcador

now, this would be an absolute disaster on every possible level especially given this lucius is slaanesh's champion BUT it would be extremely funny but back to the main au idea thinking further on "why malcador wouldn't just kill lucius" he and loken became besties after surviving for months (years???) alone together on isstvan iii

even more crackily he ends up getting an anti-chaos blade i dunno i feel like such a thing SHOULD exist ...eldar weapon this is the man who used a giant alien murder spider leg (very sharp) as a sword when he got trapped on murder spider planet (and got yelled at for it, because it was alien) also a lot of the good magical artefacts/swords have morality requirements and lucius is nnnnnnot going to pass those the most "realistic" way he gets the sword is by killing a craftworld but, tbh, i do not wish to reward this behaviour

…he should derail the plot of Angel Exterminatus from what I understand it involved eldar things and Fulgrim using a whole bunch of eldar soulstones (and also part of Perturabo's soul) to turn himself into a daemon (maybe i should not actually make these plans without reading the book. oh well.)

malcador: your primarch and also perturabo are trying to do something suspicious are you a bad enough dude to stop them? lucius: absolutely malcador: i have every faith that you will succeed after lucius leaves malcador: there's a 99% chance he'll die. FINALLY. maybe lucius gets the soulstones and accidentally trades them to the eldar for the sword like he survives but he's too injured to actually do anything here which is how he gets thanked and they say, lucius' hearts grew three sizes that day

he also wasn't really attached to the sword and then malcador told him not to get rid of it "you're not my real dad!" he said, clutching the sword "no," muttered malcador, "your real dad is trying to turn into a sexy snake" "i have many questions," said loken, who was currently being ignored in the corner.

so in canon loken kind of snapped due to being alone on isstvan iii surrounded only by the bodies of his former comrades is….is lucius somehow his emotional crutch i mean having one person to talk to is loads better than being alone even if that person is someone who hates you and you don't particularly care for either would lucius be the type of person who would like someone being emotionally dependent on him (especially given the beef) or would he be "ew clingy"

lol okay this is a more serious part of the au, i think lucius would have a lot of time for uncomfortable introspection on isstvan iii maybe that's how some of his character development happens

oh no look it's one of my favourite character dynamics garviel loken and lucius, starring in: this is our get-along virus-bombed planet

#lucius the eternal #warhammer 40k

[morkofday]

17.7.2023 - One Palm Distance

(shaking screaming crying throwing up, i'm so normal about them, i'm so normalllll- )

If they had to choose one picture to drop that would drive us all wild, it would be this one. I like how after all the darkness of Day's house, after him hiding himself away as the trailer made us assume he will, we finally see him and Mork outside. Tbh I had to think for a while why this picture feels so different but it's indeed the light and them being outside. They feel freer, comfier. Makes me think that as much as MorkDay meet inside Day's house and begin their relationship there, that relationship will grow the further they drift from the confines of that building. Maybe that is also why they have made the house so dark and colored it blue/gray.

Now, when it comes to this scene here, I am not making any assumptions. I've seen ppl on Twt bemoaning about them changing the scene in the garden where Mork asks about Day's vision to this, but how do we know when and why this is happening? I'm not too emotionally attached to how those scenes from the trailer look, or in what settings they happen, I just hope the feelings remain the same. I adore the way the Last Twilight trailer just radiates comfort, warmth, and most of all, hope. I want that same vibe to stay and I bet it will.

I am very curious about Day's link to aquariums tho. It seems like one of the elements they've brought up more than they did in the trailer. Yes, we had Day and Mork visiting a big aquarium there but now we've seen pics of Day having an aquarium in his room and now this. There's something significant about it. I cannot really put my finger on it and I refuse to get sucked into theories, but I do love this continuous theme. Let's see what becomes of it ^^

#last twilight #lt filming #they're doing the thing!!! #and i think they filmed the bed scene the other day #you know the one from the trailer #and it was in blue and i lost my mind #the way this show will carve my heart out of my chest with a spoon #and i will thank them for it #also is it now confirmed that sea cameo in only friends? 👀 #we are hoping

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

i'm not sure if you've read tsukasa's most recent event too, but just in case, they had met a shy but talented actor named Bakuno Reki there. He had invited WxS to apply to be extras in the movie he was going to star in, which the troupe was accepted for. The original plan was to show up to set, learn more about movie production, be background characters for like two scenes, and then peace out. This is not what happened.

The director ended up inviting WxS to join the team part time as stagehands, assisting with props, set-up, and minor tasks. They decided to accept in order to learn even more about a new style of acting and production.

It was pretty hard work, tbh. The director was quite strict with expectations and it's just hard in general, but they all found the work to be rewarding. Tsukasa and Nene enjoyed learning more about the differences in acting through film (non-chronological, which requires different approaches to displaying growth and emotional connection), and Emu learned a lot about scheduling and administration! Rui wants to learn more about directing, but it's a bit hard to do from the sidelines.

A little ways into the project, the director realizes Rui's passion for directing and drive to absorb every piece of information like a sponge. He decides to accept Rui as a directing assistant for the rest of the project. It's even harder work, but Rui accepts without a second thought.

Nothing really major happens until the day they film the climax. The story they are filming is an adaptation of a novel about a boy, depressed and unsatisfied with daily life, who wants to disappear into the sea, suddenly having his life flipped upside down by a mysterious girl claiming to be his long-lost sister. Slowly, through the light of her joy, he learns to love life, piece by piece. The climax scene occurs at an airport, after the sister leaves with no warning. The boy follows her there and asks why, why would she go, why abandon him after everything? (She has a terminal illness and thought leaving like this would be the most painless way to separate. She hadn't meant to get so attached to him when she first contacted.) It's a pretty emotionally heavy scene- one they can't get right. They tried all sorts of re-directions, edits, angles, but nothing managed to capture the true expression they were going for. The shoot was called of and postponed for the next day.

Rui took it upon himself to try and figure out exactly what's wrong with the scene. He pretty much shut himself in a room with the director to pour over the script (and also skipped a meal, for the second mentioned time this event.) They could not figure it out.

Suddenly, the door opens, and a strange, kinda shady former "friend" of the director walks in. He pretty much compliments the work in a very backhanded, passive aggressive way and acts all chummy towards the director, who is not having it at all. The strange man says something about. something weird. I don't actually remember. but it leaves a sort of impression on the both of them. (Later, the director mentions the fact the strange man is an old college "friend" and current stage director.)

The next day, Rin pops by to check in on the troupe, only to immediately notice Rui Did Not Sleep. He spent the entire night rewatching the current footage, past recordings of Reki's old performances, anything that could possibly help. He didn't get anywhere still.

Emu, Tsukasa, and Nene run up to Rui and hand him a bento box (though it's left unsaid, it's because they know he isn't taking care of himself and want to help him, in whatever way they can.) Emu starts talking about how fun it is they have so many different options for bento, so that everyone can grab the things they like! And, wouldn't it be so cool if they could find a way to personalize each bento to each person!!

Then Rui got it. That's why the scene was off. Though the script works well in the book, it's not suited for a performance. It's not suited for Reki. He runs off to go tell the director his revelation (never having actually accepted the bento offered to him).

Rui explains his thought process to the director, only to find he had already come to his own conclusion. He applauds Rui for making it this far, especially having only done film directing for a short while, but the change that is truly necessary is a step above what Rui suggested. Rather than change the dialogue, he wants to remove it all together. They shoot the change. It was perfect.

The event concludes with WxS watching the initial screening of the movie, really happy with the final product. The rest of the troupe is super impressed with how much Rui helped, even when he feels like he didn't contribute much at all. He wasn't able to fix the scene, after all.

After the screening and WxS's departure, the strange "friend" pops by the theater. He forces the director to show the movie, again simultaneously berating and praising it. He also asks about that "strange young kid you were working with. What's his name, Kamishiro?". He has a feeling their paths may cross again...

Overall, a pretty decent event! Not as earth-shattering as curtain call, but still carries a lot of meaning to Rui's character. It really highlighted his self-sacrificial nature and drive to learn, and how much WxS means to each other. It also sets up a potential new conflict with this mysterious shady guy. Excited to see more of him!

OH MY GOSH, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! ah this is. wow, yeah, very helpful actually!! i KNEW that guy had shit vibes...

i saw people talking about Rui's "self-sacrificing" nature but didn't know where it had come from until now!! and aww... Emu indirectly solving the problem? there's so much that can be said about how Emu and Rui are a fantastic duo who bring out the best in each other... rotating in my mind...

#asks answered by ace :)