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hetaoren · 7 months
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A (probably rambling) Lan Qiren Appreciation Post
Ok, let me start by saying I'm fully aware that he isn't a "perfect" person. He is a human and comes with human flaws, however, I often find that he gets reduced to nothing but rules and anger, which in my opinion isn't fair. Many seem to forget all the things he has gone through and accomplished, seeing only a strict man obsessed with rules and filled with anger, a hindrance for his nephew and his husband. It's true that he is strict and does like the rules, just as he often appears angry too, but that's not all he is.
(Chapters the "facts" come from are ch. 64, 68, 79, 111 and 117.)
Anyway, let's start from the beginning. We all know Lan Qiren is the younger brother of Qingheng-jun (QHJ), the previous Lan sect leader. It's fair to assume that QHJ was trained and moulded to become a sect leader from childhood, becoming a renowned cultivator with an impressive reputation from an early age, so I bet everyone assumed he'd be a great sect leader, one who would fulfil his duty well. Then, at twenty, he suddenly announces his marriage and goes into seclusion, pretty much throwing all the responsibilities of a sect leader on his younger brother, Lan Qiren, overnight. At this time, LQR is at the oldest nineteen (though I hc him as 18), but since we don't know the actual age gap between QHJ and LQR, we can't know for sure how old he is. However, he is a teen that suddenly finds himself being a sect leader in everything but name. Not only that, he pretty much lost his brother too, since QHJ went into seclusion and unless he visited him there (if it was even allowed), he wouldn't see him.
Like this isn't enough, he becomes an uncle twice within a few years (here too, we don't know the exact age gap between LXC and LWJ, as well as how long after the marriage LXC was born). Although the babies are raised by others at first, they are handed over to LQR "once old enough to be taught and raised", so LQR was their de facto parental figure. And suddenly LQR has a sect to run and two sect heirs to raise and he himself is most likely still under 25. He also wasn't trained for this the same way QHJ was, but the Gusu Lan Sect still flourishes. Yes, it was most likely already doing well before him, but he continued that and also ended up becoming a renowned teacher. On top of that he raised two boys into becoming two of the cultivation world's most renowned members, and let's be honest, both LXC and LWJ are good people. If LQR was such a horrible parental figure, then I doubt both of them would've turned out as well as they do. I'm not saying he's doing everything perfectly (no parents or parental figures ever do), but he did well.
Yes, he was strict with them and the reason was how their mother's crime had caused QHJ to throw away his life (as well as abandoning his duty) and LQR feared his nephews might do the same thing unless he was strict with them. In other words, he didn't want them to do something impulsive that would then ruin their chance of happiness (and maybe because it might also lead them to lose the ability to be with their family, like for QHJ). It might not be the best way to show care, but for a Lan who saw his accomplished brother throw away everything for a woman that didn't return his love, it makes sense. He also wouldn't be the only uncle who shows affection through irritation and scolding, would he? (Yes, Jiang Wanyin, I'm looking at you.)
Another thing that's good to keep in mind is that we often get to see LQR from WWX's point of view, unless someone is speaking about LQR, and WWX is chaos, so obviously anything strict will appear stricter. I don't say that's necessarily the truth, but it might be good to keep in mind.
Let's continue to a less than happy part, LWJ hiding WWX. Firstly, it was LXC who fetched LQR and the elders out of worry, but LQR too was worried, albeit showing it as frustration. I don't think corporal punishment is okay, however in this world, it is and LWJ did severely injure 33 elders of his clan, in the view of that, the punishment does make sense. It also makes sense that LQR is the one sentencing the punishment, since it's only him or LXC who can do it and I believe that LQR doesn't want LXC to have to punish his own brother. I do not see this as LQR not caring about his nephew, as I know many do. I fully believe that whipping LWJ did emotionally hurt LQR, but rules are rules.
Time for WWX's return. As we all know, LQR falls into a coma after trying to play Evocation for NMJ's arm and LXC later states to WWX after they return from the Cultivation Conference that LQR has just woken up. I read somewhere that it was about a month between Evocation and the Cultivation Conference, meaning that LQR has been in a coma for 3-4 weeks. No matter your golden core, that got to take a toll on you, which seems to be true as he is the one leading the Lans during the second siege of the Burial Mounds and he "stood before the crowd, looking considerably more aged. There were even streaks of white in his hair." Yes, this might be due to the stress of finding out that one of his nephews is with the returned WWX and the other nephew is gone (in the claws of JGY), plus the fact that Lan Juniors have been kidnapped. However, if this were the case, he would've aged a lot during the Sunshot Campaign and the First Siege of the Burial Mounds. I firmly believe it's the resentful energy that put him into a coma that took its toll on him. Anyway, no matter why, here he is, maybe a week or so after waking up after a nearly month long coma, leading a group of Lan cultivators. And no, it's not just to fetch LWJ, because he shows care for those under his command:
"Lan Qiren hadn’t wanted to go in, at first. He would rather have remained outside and fought until the bitter end. However, he was not waging this battle alone—there were many Lan and Jin Clan cultivators under his command, and they were not the main force in the fight. He did not want to treat the lives of those disciples with such disregard. If there was a thread of hope for survival, he was compelled to seize it."
As stated later, LQR is not a reckless man. He will do what the rules say is right and what will benefit the most people, even if he disagrees on a personal level (in this case wanting to fight, but knowing others might die if he does, since they would remain as well). He is also not so proud and petty that he won't let WWX speak his mind, instead he remains silent and listens. Many others would not.
He then again, despite probably not being in full strength since the coma and definitely not from all the fighting he's already done and without spiritual power, charges in with killing force to protect people when Su She breaks the barrier into the cave and the fierce corpses attack a again. Though this clearly comes with a prise as he afterwards coughs up a lot of blood and needs to mediate to regulate his breathing (and since LWJ is willing to give him spiritual energy, I have a feeling it's a tad worse than he wants to tell, but since his core is still sealed off, LWJ giving him qi would not help anyway, as LQR states himself).
Now to the aftermath of Guanyin Temple. He asks LXC what's the matter with him and LXC says he doesn't want to talk about it. LQR could press him, he probably could force him to tell him, but he doesn't. Yes he is angry, but the novel also declares that "both were now sources of worry" and it is after also saying that "neither of these two previously flawless pupils would heed him anymore", but I don't think it's just about smudged reputation or control that has him worried. I do believe he is genuinely worried that LXC and LWJ have thrown away their lives. The way he speaks and the way he's irritated with the situation shows signs of someone who acts with anger when stressed (similar to JC). I'm not saying this is the best way to react, but it is a part of our fight or flight reaction. We also can't forget that he did see his brother throw away his life due to an impulse decision and breaking the rules, a life that seems to have been generally happy before that.
And to end it all, after the family banquet:
"Wei Wuxian stroked his chin. If that was the case, they couldn’t blame Lan Qiren for punishing them like this. The man loathed wickedness in all forms. In fact, to be copying texts while doing handstands…they were getting off pretty light."
This is the juniors getting punished for going night-hunting with Wen Ning and if WWX thinks they're getting off pretty lightly, then they most likely are. To me this shows that although LQR adds rules and follows them, he does know there is a degree to them. He knows Wen Ning wouldn't hurt the juniors and that he isn't really evil or bad, but the rules state they shouldn't spend time with him, so he has to punish them, so he does so in a way that clearly is a punishment, but also not as harsh as it technically should be.
This became a long post. All in all, Lan Qiren is more than anger and strictness. He does not lack compassion, he does care about his nephews and I think people forget everything he has gone through and accomplished and that he deserves some more love and recognition (and not to only being the butt of the joke).
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peachyutdr · 5 months
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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c6jpg · 2 months
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genshin impact ❖ teyvat storyline, 4/?
#genshin#genshinedit#genshinet#genshin impact#mondstadt#liyue#inazuma#sumeru#m:gfx#m:*#m:gfx:all#flashing tw#trying something different :> although it nearly killed my laptop for good in the process#i've been wanting to do something representative of the archon quests for a while#and then i rediscovered those stamps from last year's new years web event and wanted to use them#but that's also why fontaine isn't here because it doesn't have one OTL sorry fontaine enjoyers#i considered making the stamp myself but i'm too lazy and this whole thing was already a lot of effort#the scenes i tried to balance it between like. key/memorable moments + different characters + cohesive compositions#(e.g. nothing too chaotic with movement and angles like most fight scenes tend to be)#the quotes similarly were ones i personally found really memorable and/or representative of the archon quest in question#i didn't even realize all of them except inazuma had their nation's theme (freedom contracts wisdom) in them until i put this together#so i skimmed through for an eternity one for inazuma but honestly i couldn't find any i wanted to use more than the ambitions one#and ambitions is a major theme the inazuma quest focused on that tied a lot into the themes of eternity anyways#if i had included fontaine the quote i chose would have balanced it out since that one doesn't explicitly say justice either#it was gonna be neuvillette's line#you are a devious one focalors. things as being as they are... surely you know that i could never again declare them to be 'guilty'
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grumpysunfish · 5 days
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Can we like. Stop projecting modern day western class discussions into mdzs. Or better yet stop talking about class altogether since so many of you are clearly ill prepared for it.
I love mdzs for how complicated and different it is from what I'm used to and seeing all of that get whittled down into the same old tired money/power = bad when it is so much more than that. It's a completely different system and culture. Western capitalist critiques isn't going to cut it people.
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I'm desperate now, absolutely desperate to find more information specifically on the conservation of the Peglar Papers but thus far, there seems to be next to nothing out there...
Who the fuck conserved them and how? I demand to know!
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cpunkhobie · 1 year
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I LOVEEE how with each iteration splinter has slowly gotten less and less sensei and more and more dad . Look at him. Look at this fucking guy and tell me that he does not love his sons so fucking much and that he loves and cares for them all equally and tell me he is not a good fucking dad
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This guy taught his kids NOOOO fucking ninja skills except for maybe the bare minimum to keep them safe and alive and i stand by that. He was too busy wearing a pink apron and making lunches and playing monopoly and finding donnie a pair of glasses 2 give a fuck abt being a sensei or a master or yadda yadda.
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I also think it's nice that they made Camilla a sci-fi nerd and Luz a fantasy nerd. They're genres that are often seen as completely opposing one another by many people, which is what we're led to believe about Luz and Camilla in season 1. Luz is silly, nerdy, frequently in over her head and irresponsible and loves the boiling isles. We're led to believe that Camilla is the normal, conventional TV mother who'd be disgusted and terrified by the demon realm if she saw it.
Then yesterday's lie gives us a lot of nuance to this, and we realize that while they're still very different and now on opposite sides of a conflict, both mother and daughter are incredibly kind people (seen in their treatment of Vee) who love each other but struggle to make the right choices without hurting one another.
Then thanks to them drops all this Camilla characterization and we realize! She was a nerd too this whole time! The wedge between Camilla and Luz is motivated by past traumas and grief! and for the future has them switching sides on the central conflict of where Luz should stay (Camilla now wanting Luz in the demon realm because it's what's best for her, and Luz believing that staying in the human realm is what's best for the people she loves). They finally talk and realize that, like Willow pointed out earlier in the ep, the two are so alike. Camilla reveals that she's a secret nerd too! That she had a hard time growing up and accidentally hurt Luz trying to save her from the same fait! It's so important to me that Camilla keeps calling Luz a good witch. It's affirming her interests and goals, reminding her that she's just as good as the hero of her favorite story. And Luz finally only realizes that she wants to be understood...when she's finally able to understand her mom. When she realizes that the woman she loves and admires is just as much of a nerdy screw-up as her and that there's hope for her. Her palismen ends being multiple animals at once, showing both how Luz making unconventional choices (like carving an egg) keeps paying off for her and how her potential is limitless now that she finally knows and accepts her own goals, but to me it also reminds of the fact that Camilla is a vet and passed a love of all the weird and unliked animals (like wolves, possums, snakes, etc) to her.
It's just so so sweet and it really shows how much love and thought the crew put into this mother daughter storyline (FTF haters are not welcome on this page, respectfully). I can't wait to see how both of these misunderstood but healing women (who radiate "little/big sister" and "mom" energy respectively) are gonna interact with a) the lonely, easily manipulated and well intentioned but ignorant collector (a mix of both their interests as a magic being with a space motif! I just realized that lol) and b) the nasty puritan white man who's really obsessed with conforming to society's norms even when it literally doesn't benefit him at all.
Anyway, I believe in noceda( AND clawthorne 👀) family supremacy 💙
#the owl house#toh#toh spoilers#luz noceda#camilla noceda#this isn't proofread so if there's words missing or misspellings or somethings unclear feel free to mention#but this is just a messy thought dump#I have a ROUGH WEEK. I wish there was a more positive vibe in the fandom rn (although i kinda get it but also :( sad)#but there isn't one i will create it#tentatively I don't have a responsibility to do that I just wanna talk about things i noticed and like#i am going to post reqs just u wait. bitch!#also uhhhh other things i thought while making this post but couldn't include:#hunter and gus being fantasy trekkies is really funny and cute but also fits really well with both of their characters#gus has always been in love with the human realm and this is the ultimate neat little bow on that.#he's dressed as a character he relates to (captain avery trying to get back home to the family he loves) and his interest is uniquely human#bc sci-fi is kinda uniquely rooted in/associated w/ the human realm in toh. even in something like Belos' steampunk tech#SPEAKING OF. hunter oh my GODDD#he gets so attached to the human realm in TTT bc he's finally somewhere safe (he's always been entrenched in the most-#-toxic parts of the demon realm and it's culture which is ironically propelled forward by one humans influence)#and it's like a part of him is reclaiming his weird split heritage. he loves magic and he loves sci-fi and he's silly abt both#he's not a witch or a human and he's happy. or at least he will be#anyway. i love this shows relationship to fiction it is sweet and comforting and funny
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poppy-nightshade · 2 months
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taz-writes · 9 months
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here's a hot take for today
the narrative function of sex is the same as the narrative function of fight scenes is the same as the narrative function of songs in a musical
no i will not explain
#taz talks#writing#actually i WILL explain but i'll do it in the tags#these each serve the same function within their respective appropriate genres#each one is a kind of revelation#they heighten the connection between 2+ characters and highlight relationships and feelings and needs#they are out of place in genres where they do not belong and/or as curveballs when the narrative did not provoke them from the start#but they have the same sort of emotional/dramatic build-up#talk -> sing -> dance (talk -> yell -> stab) ((talk -> flirt -> You Know))#and they are all expressions of intense physicality and intimacy through physical gesture and interaction#they are fundamentally empty and boring if there is not a deeper purpose or drive behind them#although they can still occasionally be entertaining on their own if your audience is specifically seeking that experience out#people who do not like them will be very unhappy to encounter one where it isn't supposed to be#it is very easy to ruin the mood with poor word choice#many people have an inherent sense for terrible ones but it's often difficult or complicated to explain precisely why a bad one fails#when executed properly they are a very raw and intimate expression of a character's most fundamental needs and desires#the fluff is stripped away and there is nothing left but a series of needs. conflicting or cooperating.#and even when you're lying during one it's still a form of truth#none of these things are remotely necessary to tell a powerful or compelling story but if you're going to use them you need to do it right#also all 3 of these things are difficult if not impossible to write if you are not both interested in them and personally invested#this post brought to you by me trying to write smut about my dnd characters and failing because i generally hate /reading/ smut#so i have none of the vocabulary or instinct for it that i do for. say. graphic violence (or lyrical poetry)
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secret-bug-pain-blog · 2 months
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The fun part about stress is that when you're under a particularly large amount of stress from a single source, it's really hard to actually buckle under that One Thing. Even if it's a really, really big thing, that is threatening to ruin your entire life in one fell swoop, it's hard to fully get yourself to wrap your head around it. Big Things, in our experience, almost always take a good chunk of time to chew on and fully digest. You don't give way under the weight, you simply have to chew on it. Work through it. Maybe not directly work on it, but you don't really shatter from it. It just sort of hangs over your head, like a single massive weight.
The thing about these sorts of weights, of course, is that this adds to the stress from other things. You don't break down about the Big Things directly. When it happens, it won't be the Big Weight of, say, that cloying medical problem. It'll be the little things. That big weight is too big to really wrap your head around, too heavy to comprehend in one piece - so what gets you is, instead, the little things. The stuff that reminds you of it, in a way that's ever so more tangible.
Because you don't just think about, say, your future potential inability to financially support yourself. You go on with your life. You keep acting as normal. You work as you are, for as long as you can. And then that straw comes along.
You go out to a club with your friends. You think of buying drinks together. All of a sudden, you remember your bank account. Every penny spent on gin feels like a risk, a waste. You're irresponsible. You're wasting your savings away. How long can you sustain this? Everything you buy, and everything your friends buy, feels like abrasions on an invisible plane. Thinking about it makes you feel sick, and the more you stay, the worse you feel.
It's not spending two dollars on a beer, realistically, that's causing you the stress. It's the looming spectre behind it. The problem, showing itself in symptoms, so much more easily grasped. Your phone slips from your hands, and you think of the nerve problems that will only compound, and all of a sudden the mere idea of picking it up and dropping it again makes you feel sick. Your friend texts you something just north of warm, and all of a sudden you're spiralling worrying if your continuing problems have finally alienated them.
It's easier to grasp the smaller things, you see. It's easier to have one little thing happen and realize that you'll have to grapple with that for the rest of your life than it is to go through the symptoms list, because it's simple and immediate. Thinking of your future is too big to wrap your head around, but thinking of having to rely on someone to hold your hand just to walk you to the bathroom, over and over for the rest of your life - that thought scares you, more than any thought of the underlying cause ever would. It's not she's dead, it's how will i water the roses without her? or what will i do on tuesday now that she's gone? or how do i ever care for her pets?
Small is easy to grasp. Easy to think about. Easy to worry about. Easy to have happen, and have the horrible, bleeding spectre of its underlying cause crash into you, and leave you shaking and struggling to pull yourself together on the floor. A forced windows update might not scare you, but the looming fear of forced obsolescence will, the horror of not even being able to choose to opt out on a should-be-optional update.
Which is to say: it's not being forcibly turned into a werebeast that really gets you. Not the blades at your heels, or the blood on the floor, or the immediate knot of emotions when you realize your teammate's just seen you behead someone without even meaning to do it. It's not the injury, or the inability to walk, or the burning like boiling oil trickling down your muscles hours afterwards. What really gets you, once everything's over and done with, is sitting down and realizing that your only pair of shoes has been slashed to ribbons because of your own cursed body's spur blades.
Because it might not be the boots, on their own, causing the problem. But that, in and of itself, makes it worse. Because even if it's not the core of the problem, it's still the part that you'll fixate on, because it's faster, because it's simpler, because it's so much easier to grasp than wrapping your head around all that's been done to you, and crying over something as horribly, horribly trivial as boots makes you sound - well, it makes you sound like an immature fool, doesn't it?
A cruelty, perhaps, that the emotional state at which you'll cry over boots isn't one where you can put the source of the problem together. But really, knowing that it's the werebeast thing doesn't make you feel any less stupid. Because now you're the kind of person who cries over boots, and stupid, material possessions, when you have so many more problems, when a slip of your sleeve could get you arrested. And that, more than anything, makes you feel a tiny bit more helpless than before.
They were good boots, too.
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another-goblin · 2 months
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Why Ratio isn't in Genius Society - theories
Nous regarded him and decided that he's doing fine without them.
Or because he isn't a genius. When he calls himself mediocre, it isn't a humblebrag. He's just a normal human with average intelligence. He achieved everything through hard work (in one of his character stories, his old professor talks about how, even as a kid, he'd wake up very early, exercise, and spend the whole day studying).
That's why he's often frustrated with his students. Like, guys, you are provided with all these opportunities to learn, you can surpass me, why are you squandering them? Or, I sacrificed my childhood and youth to science, why isn't everyone else willing to do the same? (turns out most people only become students to finally enjoy adult life away from their parents and maybe acquire some minimal knowledge and credentials to have a chance of a cushy job in the future.)
BTW, as a teacher, isn't he a self-made emanator of erudition? Not in a mystical Aeon-related sense, but literally—he spreads knowledge.
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aoitakumi8148 · 5 months
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...𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒮𝒽𝓇𝑒𝒹𝓈 𝒜𝓇𝑒 𝒩𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒞𝑜𝓁𝒹... 𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝑅𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝒴𝑜𝓊.
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vargaslovinghours · 7 months
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The unusual but no less hard-hitting 10½! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9)
So as it turns out, I did so many Blank Slate/Have you lost your mind? doodles that I ComPletely broke the last sketchdump lol, so it gets it’s own! Who could’ve figured that making basically a full comic of Chapters 2 and 3 would’ve made just a few too many sketches lol
Because of that, I’d strongly recommend reading what I've posted of Have you lost your mind? so far before this! Spoilers and author’s notes/behind the scenes warnings and all that haha
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Concept sketch for Scriabin - I always love having visual signifiers to denote timeline/AU/etc. differences so you can tell at a glance where you are :) His silhouette gets to be correct! The details, well, sorry we forgot those ♪
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And concepts for Edgar! I've drawn him in different glasses before so it was a bit of an excuse, using these new/old glasses to do so again haha
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But in the end I went for a reference! Remember when I drew Edgar's glasses tiny?
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And I mean, if he hadn't worn them in a while, maybe they're just a bit small on him! Lol
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Poor memory-less Edgar's musings, it's not just sad to be forgotten, it's sad to forget :(
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Early concept of Scriabin freaking out by himself in the bedroom. I'm glad I got to keep it :D
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Always gotta draw 'em reacting to something just out of frame
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Poor Scriabin, he wants to be close despite knowing Edgar doesn't remember him. He has to face this whole Being Human thing completely alone! Edgar just doesn't understand!
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He doesn't know how good he's got it haha, if I was really mean I'd have let him keep his glasses instead. There's a bunch of fun themes either way, but stealing from Edgar while hiding in his own hair is as good as any hehe <3
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Blank-faced Edgar, I ended up with a lot of these, unsurprisingly. Doesn't help that he's cute haha
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As usual, starting from the middle - it's just easier to get ideas flowing around a core! Also that note pointing at Edgar of "Put Todd to bed" was all the everything of the prep work I did for writing that little section, but the rest Absolutely Needed storyboarding lol
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He might come to resent you if you manhandle so much right after meeting for the "first" time
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Scriabin actually touches him in the original draft, but after I thought about it, it'd probably take a bit to cross the touch barrier comfortably again! Scriabin's still weird about Edgar but Edgar is wary, it's an interesting dynamic
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I won't show off every panel, but panels like these where I think they turned out especially cute Have to be included haha <3 I dunno what it is but Scriabin pouting always turns out adorable ♥
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Floof harder! Edgar's innocent expressions ahh <3
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Starting to lay the groundwork, but still a bit nervously! It is quite fun how they skirt each other, not quite sure what the other knows - how many lies can Scriabin get away with before he gets caught!
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Scriabin using some informed guesswork in conjunction with what he definitely knows, he is rather intelligent :) You can also see Edgar's unfocused eyes well in this one, I tried to draw them fuzzy behind those glasses hehe
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These are all lined up like this on the page :D Really happy with his hand expressions here, and his face haha
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This was one of my favourite lines - he keeps making excuses for Nny! Edgar no! - I fully admit that it's also partially influenced by how cute Edgar turned out haha, the poor thing - but he's so wonderfully fluffy!
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I love this line as well, Scriabin utterly convinced that all his hard work must have gotten through to Edgar somewhere in there, he said it often enough, he must have listened to him at least once-!
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And then Edgar completely cuts him off and redirects him haha, they’re both hopeless <3
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So mad at himself and Edgar, comedy = pain + time, but this is still fresh! Give yourself some time!
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That last line in particular is so insidious because he did that, Scriabin was the one who put him in that situation, and now he’s trying to turn it back around on him! He's the worst ♪
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Guilty Edgar <3 Still pressing on (changing the subject so he doesn't have to linger on the feeling hehe), he does have his own questions
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These kinds of exchanges were especially fun to look back on from their individual perspectives since I only drew it once, starting with Edgar. How honest can Scriabin really be? He can't explain everything and not be kicked out for being a potential danger to Todd or Edgar! He's gotta play his cards Just So
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Edgar is also quite intelligent! Catching Scriabin out in a lie, even when he's trying so hard to skirt the truth!
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Scriabin so mad about being called out, gotta rub it in just a little bit that he's Totally Right lol, what a brat <3
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Scriabin is legally and morally and emotionally and spiritually obligated to mess with Edgar sexually in literally every iteration of his existence, it is a core tenant of his being and also he really really wants to (lol) ♪ Drawing Edgar all blushed up is just a bonus, who does this stranger think he is! What has he forgotten! He's not some easy man! Haha, if you only (still) knew, Edgar
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Whatever he was going to say would just hurt Scriabin's feelings, better to just cut him off before another reminder gets laid out
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Probably my least favourite dialogue that I had to change was making "?" into something that flowed better in just-text, it's not the same! Lots of little notes about word choice actually haha. Love them reaching for each other even like this <3
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Edgar has all these feelings to contend with! My favourite shot is easily the last one, Scriabin's relaxed mouth while Edgar's heart is beating out of his veins right into his ear ♥
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Pls o////ò;
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Existence is exhausting
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Even without knowing him, he's just a cautious guy :) And he wants to be gentle with him! He doesn't realize what he's doing, what his actions would mean to Scriabin if he could see them, and he does them all the same 💕
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Pretty lad <3
Technically backtracking, to Ch. 3! POV shifts are fun lol
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Zarla mentioned Scriabin curling up into a ball in the blankets and I thought it was a cute visual haha ♪ Haven't had a use for it yet but never say never hehe
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I wanted to go for some high perspective shots to drive home the uncanny feeling of being really truly alone for the first time ever. That, and he's dramatic anyhow haha
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His posing was very important to me! Since Edgar knocks on the door while he's still leaned against it, the contact points would Feel a specific way
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Scriabin got a lot of「bracket notes」for his section, usually as digs lol, where does Scriabin get off saying that Edgar has no tact haha
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More blank-faced Edgar! These were actually drawn separately - could be chalked up to how each of them remember the event! Edgar sees himself as more put-together and Scriabin as more foolish haha ♪
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That horrible sinking feeling
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I pick on him a lot but this really would be incredibly scary and sad! He's alone, expelled, and the only person who Knows him now doesn't even recognize him! This was probably the one scene I wanted to be just a bit longer, really feel the weight, hmm
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But he's also quite resilient haha, he has to be <3 He has enough tenacity, thank goodness haha
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One of those examples of panels basically repeating lol, I can only fit so much text per pose! Plus it's fun to see the little body language differences :)
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Another bracket note lol, Scriabin has to be the best at everything!
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And another, have I mentioned that Kaggie is my favourite of the two? ✨ I'd still like to give both K and D a more sizeable reference sometime! Scriabin continues to be the cutest when he pouts, agh <3
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Touchy touchy touch ♥
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I do love the phrase "feeling himself" right after the last panel lol - it can be both literal and metaphorical! And that's what you get for not cleaning up after yourself! I swear that lightswitch panel confused me so many times on reviewing notes lol
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He's not even careful pfft. Then again if he was, he wouldn't have a mess to grumble about in the first place!
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A familiar face while Scriabin's already feeling small on his lonesome, ~it's symbolic~
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Ough, it hurts to think that Edgar might actually be able to watch Zeitgeist, not knowing the deeper implications. The thought of him inviting Scriabin to see it! 💔
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The most important question, and he hasn't come to a conclusion yet :) I wonder what his answer will be once he stops hiding from it!
Hhhh this has been a really fun AU to write for, I'm glad that I finally put it to words since it had been rolling around in my head since early 2021 - there are so many fun and insidious things to explore! Especially on Scriabin's side, though I still think it's the most fun to be stuck behind Edgar's eyes, an aware audience knowing what Scriabin is up to while Edgar doesn't hehe ♪ Hopefully I'll have some time to return to it after a bit! :D
#💟#Doodles#Art#Sketchdump#Blank Slate AU#Scriabin#Edgar#Hhhhhhhwhy did I make so many of these lol ♪#I finally utilized the method I'd heard about for fic writing of doodling out scenes for visualization#And then it comes back on me like this! Lol#And this still isn't even all of them!#Cough Patreon plug cough cough cough lol#But most of them are featured here :) I was happy with a lot of them! :D#In general as a fic it's been quite easy-going haha#It feels a little ironic to me but it's my in-between fic - since I'm not rereading it's detail-light/non-specific#I guess I'm just thinking of it as a first draft until I reread haha ♪ I'm just sharing it while I'm here! :)#I think it'd be a fun read-along to find which panels go to which scenes hehe#Although I'm also a big advocate for ''seeing'' fics on your own first!#Sometimes the imagery is different and inspires! I've had several times where I'll read and then draw#And /then/ go look at the accompanying art and it's quite different! Translation through medium! :D#So I always recommend getting your thoughts out first haha you can always return later :)#I know I said so already but having at-a-glance differences to show where we're at ah <3#And that it's to do with both of their glasses! How they see each other but literally! Hehe!#It really is such a fun concept to play in ♪ Similar in some ways to And Also With You#But one-sided! I also really love the trope of ''The one who should know Doesn't''#Oh and did you catch the Loved and Wanted reference? It's subtle haha#Always pulling little things from everywhere >:3c Blink and you miss it fun!#Pls do stick with me if you like it so far :D I have more ideas just you wait ♫
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letdibtravel · 1 month
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Put him in hazbin hotel
Hazbin Hotel Cover, Hazbin Hotel
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mossy-rot · 3 months
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reading about autistic meltdowns is crazy. in retrospect maybe that time i ended up sobbing self isolating and lashing out at people because I couldn't figure out how to set up my laptop the same way it had been before might've been because of The Autism
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natreads · 4 months
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I don't think I've ever mentioned it here but I'm trying to move out of my parents' house lmao and it's BRUTAL out here, the rents are crazy. BUT I found one with an acceptable rent that I can afford if I make sure to finish my projects quicker (it's possible, I'm just very unmotivated) or, you know, get another job which I've been trying to do for the past year and a half. anyway. it's in a good location and partly furnished and the bedroom and kitchen are in alcoves which I prefer. also five minutes from my bookstore job. I sent a message about being interested so now we cross our fingers. I'd move in feb/march so I can prepare a bit too. aahhh I really want it
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