#and also how to organize with people you don't always 100% agree with

[maryrouille]

Toxic romanticization of studying

In a word of introduction, my profile partly shows that studying and exploring is wonderful. But as a person involved in science*, I would like to show healthy and true patterns of this beautiful adventure in acquiring knowledge.

The inspiration for writing this post this time was not the phenomenon from Tumblr (although you can also observe it here), but from Pinterest. There you can come across cycles composed of quotes and photos whose aim is to motivate young girls to learn, succeed and get good grades. These images often also show examples of characters from movies, TV series or real life that you can aspire to be like. Overall, I have to agree that it really works! But I would like to draw attention to certain elements that need to be verified.

1. You shouldn't get up at 5am

First of all, the correct amount of sleep is one of the most important factors affecting the proper and effective functioning of our brain. During sleep, nerve cells regenerate, organize information acquired during the day and consolidate memory traces, which is directly related to learning. Lack of sleep increases impulsivity, deepens negative thinking and slows down the body's reaction time!

2. You can be a genius without good grades

Of course, good grades are a pleasant confirmation of our knowledge and praise for hard work. However, sometimes it is worth considering whether the structure of exams themselves, especially those with closed questions, affects the results. We often study for one specific exam, the knowledge of which may be very… limited and sometimes not useful, so it is worth prioritizing the topics that we study hard.

3. It's not cool to think you're better than others

We are different and have different priorities in life. It is also worth considering how many people escape from the rat race and start a slow, stress-free life. So we have to agree that judging people based on grades or responses under stress (sic!) is not cool.

The good thing about romanticizing studying

As I have already said, these types of collages are really motivating. So let's talk about what's great about them and what's worth highlighting and saving for later.

1. Knowledge is beautiful, but your outfit and surroundings can also be

We know that we should never judge a book by its cover, but… the issue of social perception painfully confirms that we do and will continue to do so because this is how our brains work. And isn't it nice when someone looks at us and thinks this girl is so classy?

Moreover, a nice outfit that makes us feel good gives us a lot of self-confidence. There are also many studies confirming the positive impact on motivation and concentration of a neat and aesthetic workplace.

2. Not just cramming, but also discovering

Broadening your horizons is easier with passion and real commitment. And to achieve this, the topics must really interest us. Not everyone has yet found something that they are extremely passionate about in science, so that is why you have to dig deeper and discover different areas.

3. Don't be afraid to use your knowledge in practice

Schools and universities, unfortunately, have their own rules and they do not always allow you to show your 100% potential. Thus, share your knowledge with others externally, write essays, blog and social media. This form of activity also makes you learn things faster and easier. In addition, contacts with others will expand your knowledge.

Therefore, I must say that it is worth choosing your inspirations carefully. Nothing helps you enjoy studying better than a clear head and lack of prejudices.

*This post was inspired by my own experience with studying. If anyone is interested, I think I can share my mistakes that did not help me in an academic adventure :)

#study aesthetic #healthy studying #study motivation #studyblr #dark academia #light academia #studyspo #study inspiration #study inspo #study blog #studying #productivitytips #studyblr community

[lastoneout]

the whole guilt-tripping language in posts about important topics paired with how I'm still getting bitches in my notes talking about why it's actually good to tell "bad" people to kill themselves continues to prove to me that a lot of people have absolutely no concept of social justice or activism outside of assuming the worst of and then viciously attacking strangers on the internet

#the worst part too is this is just the logical conclusion of the hyper-individualistic society #that thrives on isolating us from each other and our communities #anyway pls get out and go volunteer to clean up litter or at the soup kitchen or something #y'all need to see that your actions can have both good and bad real world consequences #and also interact with people who share your values but come from different walks of life #and also how to organize with people you don't always 100% agree with #so yeah hang out at the farmer's market or smthn y'all really need to connect with your communities

[tossawary]

Part of the problem with discussing how racism manifests in fandom and in fan organizations is that to present a nuanced and thorough take on a complicated problem, which actually consists of a number of different complex issues with lots of different potential solutions each, you have write really, REALLY long posts about it.

And people don't read long posts.

Or they read the first part and get stuck on one point they don't agree with or can't 100% agree with. So they get caught up in proving one point wrong instead of at least expressing sympathy or sharing the parts they do actually agree with.

(Or people make fun of you for caring about "people being mean in fanfiction communities" as an issue. Because caring is cringe, apparently. Racism in hobbies like book clubs and local knitting groups and kid sports leagues is also important, even if it's "not that big of a deal" in the grand scheme of things in your opinion.)

Which can have (unintentional or intentional) vibes of telling fans of color to shut up about racism. Which is rude and understandably upsetting to people who have experienced this kind of harassment. Saying "go make your own archive" implies that the affected fans of color have not been a part of building the OTW or in running AO3 and don't belong there as writers or readers, which is untrue and unkind.

Now, I know that people have a kneejerk defensive reaction to any form of "We Need To Ban The Bad Fic That I Don't Like". I have that too. And I won't deny that this is a conversation partly about content moderation. And I won't deny that within this broad conversation between lots of different people who want to do something about fandom racism, there are probably some people who are calling to ban everything they find even a little problematic. They're always popping up. I don't agree with those people.

I didn't reblog End OTW Racism's Call to Action post the first time that I saw it because my brain wanted to chew on the thoughts it inspired. I thought a lot about how exactly to write detailed policy that could explicitly ban the worst examples of fanfiction used as intentional hate speech provably for the purpose of targeted harassment, while still ensuring the protection of the queer content, the problematic darkfic, and the explicit kinky fiction that the archive was created to host (which EOTWR also cares about). I do want fans to be able to explore some disturbing and distasteful topics, even if they don't always write it well, without being censored. And yet I also thought a lot about the "Paradox of Tolerance" as a social contract and what it meant to be "Fair to Unfair Voices".

I also thought a lot about how AO3 volunteers can never review every single thing posted to the website (which was not being suggested). And about how this issue intersects heavily with the structural issues that leave some AO3 volunteers overworked and underappreciated. And the structural issues that leave some AO3 volunteers feeling isolated, neglected, ignored, or mistreated. And also how AO3 is shockingly enormous now for being the result of volunteer work on a budget that's small compared to other non-profit organizations.

And honestly, I was fucking exhausted from my job that day and I cynically thought to myself, "I'll read through the links later, but I don't really see how changing the names on a bunch of fics is going to inspire great change within an organization."

(And the people behind this online protest are pretty open about the fact that they didn't expect their awareness campaign - and that's what it is: it's just an awareness campaign - to do anything on the front of "Solving Institutional Racism Immediately".)

But then I thought to myself, "Okay, but I do believe in antiracist action. And even if I don't think some of these suggestions are workable with the current state of things, or that the OTW will ever agree to some things here, there has got to be something here that could be done right now to make things a little better."

I kind of like the idea of expanding the required archive warnings so that more well-meaning people will opt-in to tagging triggering material, which is a form of content moderation. Like the way that the "Graphic Depictions of Violence" tag works already. Major Archive Warnings are left up to the author's best judgement unless reported. And even if people repeatedly refuse to use any relevant warning tags when writing blatantly racist stories, when they get reported for not even using "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", then we'll be pretty sure that they're doing it to be a jerk, and AO3 volunteers can suspend or ban them for it.

I like the idea of expanding the abuse policy and clearly defining its terms so that Policy and Abuse volunteers can still retain some freedom of best judgement, but also be more consistent about recognizing when someone is being a racist jerk in the comment section or being racist by gifting violently racist fic to fans of color or otherwise behaving badly. And I like the idea of improving the reporting system while keeping potential misuse in mind. And giving PAC volunteers better admin tools and other resources.

Even if you believe that AO3 is largely run by well-meaning queer women, I personally don't 100% trust that every single volunteer will be great at recognizing the many varied forms of racism, or antisemitism, or transphobia, or prejudice against bisexual or asexual or polyamorous people, or against mentally ill or physically disabled people. And part of this discussion is about when individual members of the PAC team have failed to address malicious behavior that is already explicitly covered by AO3's existing anti-bullying policy. Or that can't be solved by just blocking and muting someone.

Like, this discussion is about racism, and it's worth caring about solely for how it affects fans of color, but optimizing the abuse policy and protocols against harassment would better protect everyone. (And also, please do not assume that fans of color are not also older fans and/or queer fans who care about censorship.)

Some of End OTW Racism's offered solutions are suggestions originally made by AO3 itself back in 2020. A huge part of this discussion is just some fans (they're only, like, 5 people) trying to make some noise so that the OTW will give all users a thorough update on their progress. They are trying to raise awareness to keep the conversation about fandom bigotry going and recruit people to show up to OTW Board meetings to ask what obstacles need to be tackled. They want volunteers trying to change things internally to feel supported and for some more transparency on this subject to externally hold people accountable to their promises.

And I also thought, "Fuck it. This post is worth reblogging if only to remind people that AO3 needs work, to educate new fans on the history and present of fandom racism in general, and to maybe make one person out there feel less alone and connect them with some new friends. Fans of color don't have to be perfect to be heard."

I believe that AO3 has gotten bigger than ever anticipated and management of the OTW has only gotten harder. And I think hiring a diversity consultant, as per AO3's own suggestion back in 2020, sounds like a good idea to curb harassment of all kinds and improve the working conditions of volunteers. Outside contractors have been hired before and these professionals have no effect on OTW's non-profit status. A temporary consultant's job would be to identify where the organization is getting stuck and give suggestions on how to fight bigotry, and the OTW Board can just pick the solutions they think will work in practice with their mission statements.

Honestly, I kind of think it might be a good idea to also hire a security consultant of some kind after some of the harassment of AO3 volunteers in recent years. And if hiring some programming contractors would help the coding volunteers build better admin tools and make tag blacklisting happen sooner, then I support that as well. But that's all up to the OTW Board. And I want the OTW volunteers to know that I support their original suggestion to hire some outside professional help, so that fandom can begin to address some of these ongoing problems beyond just acknowledging that they exist, even if it simply starts with AO3 explicitly calling for more volunteers to get the planned work done.

Saying that there's nothing to be done is defeatist. Saying that the affected fans of color and their allies sound too angry or too serious or too ungrateful, or that everyone involved just doesn't understand how hard these things are, is pretty rude. I don't expect perfect solutions on the first try. I don't expect them immediately. I expect some of these things to take the OTW... years, honestly. I don't always feel very optimistic. I find this entire discussion discomforting and depressing. I'm not ungrateful to the OTW and AO3 when the community has been an undeniably good experience for me personally over the past 10 years. I want people to be able to escape into fandom at the end of a shitty day.

End OTW Racism's awareness campaign is one small part of a much broader discussion and you don't have to agree 100% with everything that they say. Or with what other people talking about fandom racism say (and some people, including academics and journalists and media critics and video essayists, have been talking about fandom racism for a long time). And you definitely don't have to 100% agree with what I've said here.

You don't have immediately volunteer all of your time to the OTW to fix these problems to be a good person. We all have other shit going on in our lives. Just... keep some of the points being made in mind moving forward, yeah? If you have a moment, maybe listen to some of the frustrations with an open mind, and maybe show a little extra love to your fellow fans who are going through it.

And if you have the energy to tear down what you think just one of EOTWR's suggestions is as bad - and they are NOT calling for every single fic on AO3 to be reviewed for problematic tropes or racial slurs before posting, that would be ridiculous, and it's disingenuous to misinterpret them that way - are you also separately talking about and supporting any of the antiracist actions and other harm reduction policies that you think are genuinely viable?

#end otw racism #tossawary ao3 #long post

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

So this woman asked reddit if she was in the wrong for joking about her husband in front of their colleagues after he refused to socialize.

She started out mentioning that she received a promotion at work to a more senior position than what her husband has. She said that while he was happy for her, she thinks he's embarrassed that she's his superior now.

They went to a work related social event ( It was supposed to be an opportunity to build team cohesion and that sort of thing.) . The husband didn't really want to go, said he had a migraine and she added that he's pretty introverted. She told him that it would be weird if he didn't go, that people would think he's jealous of her, and after some time, she was able to convince him to go. She said he greeted a few people but mostly sat in the corner and only talked to a few people at a time.

She said she was in a large group when someone, who had not yet seen my husband there, asked where he was and jokingly asked if he was as serious and mysterious at home as he was at work.

I told them he was the complete opposite at home. I said that while at work he seems organized, at home he’s a bit of a slob. I joked about how he always leaves his laundry all over the floor and I mentioned things like how he complains too much about random trivial things like the neighbors' kids sometimes playing on our lawn.

I also mentioned how he has a fear of heights and how he was shaking the entire time when we crossed a rope bridge during our honeymoon. I did say a few other things like how I sometimes feel like I’m his parent.

Everyone was interested and surprised to hear all of this, and we did share many laughs together. At some point, my husband walked into the conversation and quickly pieced together what we were talking about. The rest of the conversation was awkward after that.

On the drive home, my husband was not speaking. When I asked him if everything was alright, he said that I surprised him. I was annoyed by him being vague, so I told him that I knew that he wasn’t feeling 100%, but that he was acting childish for not socializing and acting offended.

He said that it was childish and rude that I was sharing his personal details with our colleagues. I then told him that he was blowing things out of proportion, but he didn’t respond, and the rest of the ride was silent.

When we got home, we argued again about the night's events. My husband said my behavior was appalling and that he questioned if I had any respect for him. I was angry by his outburst so I told him that he was only being sensitive because I was technically his superior now and that what was really bothering him. The argument ended there, as my husband didn't want to "waste any more time" and went to bed.

This morning, I texted my younger sister what happened, and she accused me of being insensitive.

So it was pretty unanimous that she was in the wrong. I definitely agree with that verdict. There's a lot to unpack here so let's go:

The first red flag that stands out to me is her manipulating him into going to the social event. I don't know if that's something that would look bad on him if he didn't go, not because of her reasoning but because it's just something you should do for whatever type of work they're in. But even if he had to go, I would think a migraine is enough to stay behind. I've never experienced one myself but I hear they're brutal. And then for her to insist that he go out sounds kinda cruel. Why put him in a position for it to possibly worsen?

The fact that she told him he had to go or it would make people think that he's jealous of her made me question the validity of her assumption that he's jealous of her. A lot of people in the comments didn't believe that either, with some speculating that she just feels a sense of superiority over him. Why else is that your thought? And then you have her reasoning that he was only upset because of her position and not because she humiliated him in front of co-workers.

But even before we get to that part, she was upset with him for not socializing the way she wanted him to. He only talked to a few people at a time, staying in a corner on his own. But again, he did have a migraine so he probably didn't want to be where there was a bunch of noise (i.e. in a group with people talking). But according to her he's also pretty introverted. It's no surprise he's not gonna be up for all that.

She even downplays what she did by calling it joking. But that is not what it was. This wasn't playful, it feels like she was trying to get even with him. She completely put him down, belittled and embarrassed him in front of co-workers. It would be bad enough if she did that in front of friends and family, but this could affect the dynamic between him and those other people.

And there's no way to soften it. She disrespected him by airing out all those things. You don't just tell people your partner's fears and bad habits to make jokes at their expense. What she did, you can't take back. Especially not with "I'm just joking!"

It's also extremely unprofessional. She's showing her colleagues that she's not the kind of person who should bein that position. I mean, if she publicly humiliates someone under her, someone she's married to, then what would she do to someone else? That's what other people are likely to question.

She did respond to a few people, but I wanted to specifically highlight this one:

This was in response to someone who didn't believe OP's claim that her husband was jealous at all.

This kind of floors me. She's assuming and interpreting all this instead of just having a conversation with her husband before everything blew up.

There was also this comment from someone who was on her side:

First of all, people would think something of it. They'd be all over it, saying he's toxic and abusive and that his wife should leave him ASAP. Regardless of what she feels, it doesn't give her the right to talk crap about him like that. It doesn't give anyone the right. He's not weak for being upset at her for talking about things that should have been kept private. Anyone in his place would understandably be upset. You don't treat your spouse the way OP did. It doesn't matter if they have bad habits like the laundry thing or not. You speak about that stuff at home and not a social event.

#mens rights #male victims of abuse #male victims #relationships

[polvuz]

just watched tazercract's last vod (in prison) and omfg. we might've finally got a opening to destroy the federation.

tbh I never was very fond of walter bob or any other minion, because to me that's all they're— federation minions. but this stream opened my eyes.

they are Not just minions, they are their own person. I've seen many people saying they the inhabitants gave some minions personality (like walter bob getting his name and appearance because of them) and yes I totally agree! but also, the prison guards already have a personality. and as far as I know, they first direct contact with sentient beings was with tazercraft, in prison. like backpack guard saying his name is classified? I don't watch many povs, so it could be news to only me, but since when the federation workers have names? since when they have -or rather, known- their existence as a Living Being With Consciousness? without having to be Given by others? hell, even cucurucho doesn't have a name. he tolerated to be called like that because humans, especially, crave significance, so obviously they'd give him a name. and he is even gone far by acknowledging and taking it as his own.

but that's all because of human interference.

now, at the end of the stream.

walter bob frequently did Not reciprocate mike's (numerous) hugs tentative throughout the entire episode, but in the end he Did hug mike back. this, to me, show how organic, alive, and emotional walter bob is. completely opposite of cucurucho.

if it was cucurucho, rather than any other minion, then it would've been 100% less emotional. "I want to escape!" "no." and so on. if walter bob was like cucurucho, then he would NEVER do anything. pac and mike want to escape? who cares. they feel sorry for breaking rules? no one asked.

the guards are, too, different. they were playing and talking lightly with tazercraft and walter bob whenever they felt like. pac talked so fondly of pancho that backpack guard decided to give him a whole PIE even though pac wasn't hungry anymore! the pan guard always listened to tazercraft! and even thought they were aggressive and violent against the prisoners, it's clearly they are alive.

when walter bob was took away, he was looking at tazercraft, as if either saying goodbye or for help. may be my mind, but he looked in despair to find out his first ever opportunity of being happy was teared away from him. and then the guard's message: "this is for my partner, you will not see your friend again." this has so many emotions. grief. anger. frustration. pain. revengeness and even denial. he is Not like cucurucho. he is like everyone else. he has feelings, he has a personality, he has a soul and a consciousness.

and where do I want to go with this? well, knowing all of this, the inhabitants might have a chance against the federation. the federation is strictly -might even say religiously- rational. everything done is done for a bigger, logical reason. no action is taken before being planned, calculated and accepted. not a single detail is left out and if it is, its for a reason. but they lack emotion. they lack life. and the inhabitants -the order- is full of it. they have emotions, they have life, they have logic, they have death. they have everything in balance. we have walter bob, who doesn't not want to be on the federation's side anymore. we have backpack guard, that despite developing an hatred towards pac and mike, he might be coerced to go against the federation (it's not like cucurucho will console him or treat respectably his grief, so he might turn his back at them).

and yes, I know this is little comparing to the federation size, ammo, technology, etc. but fuck it. you don't overthrow someone without doing little by little.

#qsmp #qsmp federation #fuck cucurucho #tazercraft #down with the federation #im emotional #the federation sucks #BRING WALTER BOB BACK!!!!! #PIECE OF SHITS!!!!

[fatuismooches]

The idea was originally for my dottore fic but it got a but too long so I had to scrap it... So where else to share it than to you ofc (and the other dottore likers here)

I've always like the idea who works with/for Dottore. (This means you've been experimented/modified to keep you from dying, similar to the modifications he's made onto his own body) Ofc you would, you're his most trusted assistant among all others! Working with him though meant you partially work for the Fatui as well... As per order from the Jester himself, and sometimes Dottore, you're sent out on missions, but they're never big enough to take you too long.

One day though, after returning from a mission, you stumble inside Dottore's laboratory, all bloodied and littered with injuries. Of course, upon seeing your state, the segments go on a frenzy of panic, concern and rage. Everything else is forgotten and they're all immediately on you, and it was prettyyy overwhelming... Some of them are asking with concern if you're okay, and what hurts and if you could walk, others are scolding you for being reckless enough to get badly hurt from your mission. But you could tell they were all so concerned for you and they HATE to see you covered with YOUR own blood :(

I'm pretty sure you'll do fine, you have a bunch of doctors fretting and caring for you. A few segments are patching you up, disinfecting your woulds and wiping away your blood, while some are (mildly) testing your body and fixing the wires and mods attached to what's left of your organic parts... They're all soooo gentle and soothing, when you flinch or hiss from the pain, they're all frowning and muttering silent apologies and promising you'll feel much better afterwards.. Then they're 100% all making mental notes to make the people who hurt you for... No other reason :3

And then when you finally go to Dottore's office, covered in bandages, he's so fussy that you didn't call for him for his help. You try to reassure him the segments took care of you but... Yeah, he's pretty jealous and upset because he can take care of you 1000x better than all of them combined (he personally did all the modifications on ur body after all), but he's so glad ur okay and he's not letting you go outside of his lab for at least a month or so 😭😭😭

I just think there's something so intimate on dottore fixing your parts and body x3

OH MY GOSH YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THIS.... ME AND THE OTHER DOTTORE ENJOYERS ARE LOVING THIS

Aww yes,,, ;( I so completely agree, I feel like having *the* Dottore work on your body is such a huge show of trust between the two of you! Like, you know what he's done to other people, but you aren't scared of what he'd do you to at all, because you really do trust and love him that much. It makes me think of that moment in your Dottore drabble that I really loved, when he put his hands around reader's neck but they weren't scared at all, being more curious and sassy than anything, i LIVE for displays of affection (which, to normal people, would not be 💀) between these two like that 🤭 Okay moving on- yes yes I agree... sometimes Dottore wishes he kept you a secret because he doesn't like how the Fatui just steals you away from him at all. But he and the clones deal with it.

For the most part, you never needed to worry about injuries, as you were quite strong. It kind of comes with being the Doctor's lover... unfortunately, you aren't as calculating as he, and sometimes things go haywire. Such as this time... For the most part, you really have nothing to worry about, you have a bunch of clones of one of the most knowledgeable men in Teyvat healing you with NO rest or stopping at all. What other injured person could say they've been treated that well? That's right, there is none. Ahhhh... but they also don't have to deal with all of the segments talking at once and doing 10 different operations and treatments on you and asking you 15 questions per minute, and also them swearing to do *censored bad things* to the people who did this to you, and then them fighting with each other for asking you dumb questions and "stressing you out". Yes, indeed overwhelming, but... at least they are cuties and they genuinely care for you.

OMGGG IDEK WHAT I CAN ADD FOR THE SEGMENTS TREATING YOUR WOUNDS THAT'S SOOOO CUTE 😭❤️❤️❤️ I am just. Disintegrating. Them turning soft just for you and giving you that royalty treatment fr ;( ahhh my heart <33 It's not everyday you see the segments working in harmony together, but you know it's a serious matter when they are!

LMFAO I bet you'd walk into Dottore's office like "honey im home! <3" and he'll look up and see you just smiling with a bunch of bandages and he'd just be .... blank for a few seconds. Oh he is so fussy. Mad you got injured, mad at the people who hurt you, mad at the Jester for sending you out which got you hurt, mad at the segments who got to treat you instead, mad that he let you get hurt... reader get ready because you're not leaving the lab for a bit! Ahaha !!! 😅😅😅

#smooches talks #moots: kai <3 #dottore love notes <3 #banger idea from you as per usual 😤 #the segments r so cute i canttttt #nahhh cuz no matter how much u beg ur staying by his side for a while 😭 #and uhh be ready to cough up the details of the ppl who hurt you! 😅 though he'd just find them himself even if u refused

[softpine]

I'm still thinking about your characters and what their valentines day would look like currently where your story is so can I ask what everyone would be doing? I imagine Austin bringing flowers to Elaine and she loses it. Would Matt text Stevie? Mickaela and Dan pegging. Casper and Coco 👀????? Alisa messing with Jada. Stevie maybes annoying KD asking her what she's doing for v-day

omg i'm sorry my answer is so late 😭 if this were just a normal valentine's day and nothing life-threatening was happening to anyone, then what you said is exactly how everyone would be spending it ;-;

stevie annoying KD on valentine's day is sooooo true oh my god i can only imagine how insufferable she would be. she would bake a bunch of cookies and bring them into work like "here's a cookie for you! and here's a cookie for your...... partner? 🤨 and here's a cookie for your..... child? 👀 and here's a cookie for your..... other child? 🤔 just tell me when to stop. here's a cookie for your... dog? 🧐 here's a cookie for...."

coco is BOOKED for valentine's day. sorry to anyone who wishes they could make plans with her, she goes all out for this!! not even for monetary gain (it's actually a pretty slow day for sw), it's just always been her favorite holiday and she loves the decorations & outfits. although this would be the first time she's been 100% single since she was a teenager, so that would be tough, but that's all the more reason to throw herself into her work. casper is not part of this equation, he's going on a failed tinder date and making his mom sad because she was sure this would be the one sjkfjsd

definitely agree about austin buying elaine flowers, but really all elaine wants is a heartfelt card attached to them 🥺 she also organizes galentine's day (asa counts as an honorary gal) every year 💖

matt would fumble his way into some awkward misunderstanding with stevie, probably involving another goddamn stuffed animal fjskjfsd

jada would literally call off work on valentine's day. she is NOT emotionally prepared for whatever hell alisa would bestow upon her 😭 and since her dad is dating again she'd probably be alone but that's perfectly fine with her. a moment of peace is better than a valentine

finn would do something so sappy for valentine's day if here were here ughhhhh :( he'd have to step it up since he's already given asa flowers a few times and of course the unbeatable gift that was the antlers... the greatest gift asa could give to finn would be to chill the fuck out and not break the universe for one singular day lol

caroline starts getting cynical about love around valentine's day because so many people come into her shop asking for their bf/gfs name tattooed and she has to turn them away because she's not going to be complicit in bad decisions (DON'T ask her what tattoo she had covered up on her back 👿) but then she comes home and beth cooks dinner for her and lights one of their good candles and she believes in love again 😌

and we must not forget mikaela/danny pegging, as if they ever need a reason lmao. they're doing some convoluted roleplay that only they understand, making good use of their repertoire of spirit halloween costumes

#hopefully this answer being so long makes up for it being so late </3 #asks #anonymous #nonsims #brandi answers

[dangermousie]

For a drama that was clearly filmed on a shoestring budget, they have some really pretty shots - the way QL is shot looking at Ling snap and then come out of it, is gorgeous.

And it's so telling that her main reaction is not fear of him but worry for him. In many another set-up, I'd call her naive but for her, with her issues, it is normal people that is terrified of and also while she has never snapped the way he does, she can understand going after a tormentor because that is what she wishes she could have done. His violence is not off putting for her because she wishes she could be like that.

One of the things I like about Mars is what they do with Qing Mei, who'd be the insane secondary girl in many a drama - she tried and she snapped and then she got over it. And here she is giving QL Ling's address. She is CAPABLE OF MOVING ON.

Ling's hovel is definitely a hovel and it's an unpretty dump. I love that it's almost aggressively ugly - more shows should do that for their broke characters. But also, here is QL who started the show literally flinching from anyone in any proximity, feeling safe enough to wait for Ling as he showers right there. It's both progress for her character (we earlier saw her stand up to girls in school) and because she feels safe with him.

Oooofff! This is a convo they have where he says his father never lifted a hand to him/lost his temper at him and she comments he's a good man and Ling responds that is not the case, he's just afraid of him and QL is incredulous, how can a man be afraid of his own son. I really really like that they both have severe trauma but it's a very different one and that is why they react differently and their triggers are different. And then they come to the crux of it. This is the MOST vulnerability and honesty we've seen him show anyone by a factor of a 100:

And then being himself, he tries to go "psych!"

And you can see her be relieved "what kind of parent would treat their kid that way" and the thing is, he could have just left it at that but he cannot. She is past all his shields and he's rather desperate.

God, I love this! And it makes so much sense, as I mentioned before, that she's afraid of "normal," not of someone genuinely out there because she's been abused over and over by normal. (And she doesn't mention her stepfather but she clearly wants to, and he's smart enough to catch she's omitting something.)

OK, I don't remember stuff about his mom that well but if I remember correctly, she tried to kill him at some point. And it's so interesting that Ling doesn't remember that (between his age and suppressing the trauma), but his subconscious does somehow...

Notice something - he leans in, she is uncomfortable and suggests going for a walk and he just pulls back, no hesitation or word of complaint. The violent kid who was involuntarily committed respected her boundaries the way all those praiseworthy members of community did not.

Watching them on a date is such a delight. They don't just talk out issues, they genuinely have so much fun together.

This is only barely related to the above but I wanted to talk about it - I love that always in their relationship, they meet each other where the other person is at, they don't try to change the other person, they just decide if they can live with it or not - sometimes they can't (when she decides to agree to live with her abuser, he goes "I am out,") but they don't really try to change each other - they do change each other and for each other, but this is organic and voluntary. They grow tremendously, but they never force the other to do so.

It really comes to a head with Ling's choice of being a motorcycle racer - it's an insanely dangerous profession. His bio father died from it. The whole story opens with his visiting a mentor who just lost a leg doing so. QL is very much aware how dangerous this is. And for her, Ling is her whole life - her family are dead or monsters. When he almost dies (from other stuff), she loses it. And yet, she never not once asks him to quit or even thinks about how good it would be if it was. Her father even posits it to her and she rejects it. She could get him to quit for her - I mean later on, he agrees to his father's demands in order to save her, and that wasn't even her asking. And she knows that but she won't. Because she loves him the way he is and she wants him to do what makes him happy, not to constrain himself for her. He set her free and she cannot constrain him as a return. They are both their best and their freest and their truest to themselves with each other and I love it so.

God, I love them so so so much!

#twdrama #mars #barbie hsu #vic chou

[crappymixtape]

❤ tarot readings

i've been drawn to tarot for a long time, probably started in college, but because i was raised catholic i wouldn't let myself explore it at all. i'm no longer practicing / part of the catholic church or any kind of organized religion and finally in 2019 i allowed myself to bend a little. pick a deck up in a store and look through the cards. felt them speaking to me and that was when i bought my first deck.

cue COVID 😵‍💫

as horrible as 2020 was, it was a huge breakthrough for me. i felt moved and called to by this practice ( tarot ) and i started reading for myself with the guidance of lindsay mack and her podcast and damn. it was life-changing.

flash forward to now and i'm reading for others and it is is so rewarding 😩 when i say i love doing this for people, i mean it. wholeheartedly. and i would love to offer this to you too :) please read more on how to request a reading under the cut! xoxo

🂠 TAROT READING GUIDELINES 🂠

you can request a reading from me, but please read the following on what i need from you before you submit an ask:

WHAT DECK DO I USE? i normally gravitate toward uusi's pagan otherworlds deck, but also have their supra oracle, alba balesta gonzalez's white numen tarot, the stranger things tarot, and kim krans' wild unknown tarot!

HOW TO SUBMIT -> please submit your ask / inquiry through the "ASK" button on my page! just like you would for a fic. i do ask you don't submit under anon ( or via DM! ) so that i can send it to you privately and respect your information!

INVESTMENT -> this part always feels funny to me because i just genuinely love helping people and providing reassurance and guidance, but payment helps me to support myself and my family too! in general, pay-what-you-can is wonderful, but a minimum of $20 is so appreciated ♥️

WHAT TO INCLUDE IN YOUR FORM: + WHAT ARE YOU INQUIRING ABOUT? past / present / future? an upcoming decision or big shift / change in your life? guidance from an ancestor or spirit? give me as much ( or little! ) detail as you can – anything is wonderful. + WHAT DECK WOULD YOU LIKE USED? select from the decks outlined above ( pagan otherworlds, supra oracle, white numen tarot or wild unknown tarot ) and be sure to listen to what your gut is telling you – which one is speaking to you? + PLEASE SUBMIT PAYMENT AFTER YOU SUBMIT YOUR FORM and please use my kofi account for payment! thank you! you'll receive your reading package after your payment comes through.

HOW WILL I GET MY READING BACK? a great question! i put a lot of time and effort into making your reading and message from spirit look beautiful and easy to digest. please find a few sample pages below! i have three different spread options and each reading ( no matter which spread you choose! ) will come with a secondary in-depth write-up page and images of the cards pulled. please ask if you have any questions about this! happy to answer them.

QUESTIONS / CONCERNS? please don't hesitate to DM me on this! i welcome conversation and i know we can talk through whatever it is you're hesitant or wondering about.

okay! i think that's it! i appreciate each and every single one of you for being here and love the community i found on this silly little platform. y'all are my favorites, xoxo.

DISCLAIMER -> ANYONE RECIEVING A READING FROM ME SHALL AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING : tarot readings are subject to interpretation and should not be taken as absolute! a tarot reading is never 100% accurate. all tarot readings given by me are for pleasure / interest purposes only, and no guarantee can be given as to the accuracy of a reading. a tarot reading does not replace professional medical/legal/business opinion and/or advice. it will not force you to follow a particular course of action, or attempt to exert any form of control over your free-will and common sense. the contents of a tarot reading are not legally binding. any decisions made, or actions taken by you as a result of your reading are your sole responsibility and have not been forced upon you, by me, your tarot reader. i assume no legal liability for any damages, losses, or other consequences of any client decisions, subsequent to, or based on, my tarot readings.  please use your own common sense and judgement at all times! it is only with the complete understanding and acceptance of the above that your reading will take place – thank you!

#tarot reading #tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #tarot witch #divination #witchcraft #witchblr

[hieronymph]

Hey, so I saw your most recent post and I don't want to argue because I completely get where you're coming from, I'm not trying to change your views or your mind, I'm just trying to show you a Hindu perspective :)

The reason people celebrate Hindu holidays so much in India is because that's a part of the culture, EVERYTHING is celebrated big. I do agree it's too much sometimes most of the time, and I also firmly believe governments should not be religious ANYWHERE, but the reason for this is because Indian Hindus are really really happy to finally be able to express their culture again! When the Mughals came, you were killed if you didn't convert, and being Hindu was frowned upon. When the British came, being anything but white, and most of all Hindu, was atrocious. We were killed and tortured and our history was erased all because of that. More people have died in the Bengal famine curated by the British than Jews in the Holocaust. That's how much we've lost. That's the reason India is in such a shitty place right now. In terms of numbers, India has lost more to colonization than ANY other country, and people want to avenge that by celebrating! I'm not saying it's an excuse, but I'm saying it's justified in a way.

Also, about Rama just saving Sita for pr and then leaving her, that isn't actually part of the Ramayana. And also, it was written to criticise Rama, and it was to show how powerful Sita was. She was able to walk through fire in that story, because she was so pure. In the beginning of the Ramayana, the reason her dad wanted to see who could lift the bow was because Sita lifted it when she was a baby. She was able to survive under the kidnapping of a man who took armies to defeat.

Once again, you're very much entitled to your opinions, but I do want to share my personal thoughts on behalf of the Hindus™ :))

I am literally a born Hindu 😂

We have been able to express our religion much better than other people at least in our country.

I am an atheist now after realizing how awful our religion is to women and people of lower castes.

The amount of victimization and supposed oppression you are talking about is not even a thing of today or at least for the past 100 years. Hindus have always been a majority in India.

I am in no way doubting Sita's strength. I'm calling out the supposed pure and noble God to be a deadbeat husband. It doesn't matter if he was forced or misled. He had enough power to support his wife and he didn't. If anyone does that in today's time, we would wholeheartedly be angry at them.

I don't know who you are fooling with such delusional thoughts. The government nor the religion has your back. They are as bad as organized crime.

Believing in Hindu Gods is one thing and celebrating supposed festival to such an extent that it causes people problem is another. Especially, when the supposed festival is clearly a PR move for vote bank politics by Modi who is very famously anti secular.

#asks #anon asks #desiblr #hindutva nonsense #the noise pollution is on next level #i can't even sleep #my head's aching #my grandma's tired too with all the nonsense

[lol-jackles]

But why are are actors expecting to work for few years and be able to get residuals or money from that work for lifetime? Normal jobs don't work like that? We work for few years with an organization, get our salary, and when we leave our jobs we get nothing more from that company. I've never understood why actors expect to keep getting something for life? Am I missing something? I'm not from US so I don't know how the normal blue/white collar salary structure works there. I can understand if an actor is paid less for a job and they want to be paid more for that specific time/contract. But to keep on making money from one time job for life? I just don't get it.

You sound like a studio executive back in the 1950s. Back then, actors didn't make anything beyond what they made during production.   The main argument for residuals is studios are re-selling the same product over and over again for years, decades even. If you made one unique lemonade that was so good that your boss keeps selling and re-selling your one lemonade for years and pocketing the profit, wouldn't you feel you should get a cut of the profit too?

Ronald Reagan was the SAG President back in the 1950s and he was able to negotiate residuals for TV actors, but movie studios executives said a hard no. Why? Because television was killing the movie industry. Today studios are complaining that less people are going to movie theaters since Covid.  Same thing was happening in the 1950s, theater attendance fell by 65% thanks to television. 

Studio executives told Reagan, "Why should any employee be paid more than once for the same job?". So Reagan had to up the ante and authorized the actor strike of 1960.  After 5 weeks of high-stake contentious showdown with studio executives, they finally agreed on residual systems for all films produced from 1960 and onward, and retroactive residuals for most but not all films pre-1960, meaning Reagan would not be getting residuals for some of his early films.

Since 1960, about $8 billion in residuals have been paid out to actors and their heirs and supported the middle class for the next 50 years. And, thanks to Reagan and the strike he engineered, working actors are also eligible for both health insurance and a pension. This is one of the reasons why I always had a soft spot for President Reagan (for non-American readers, Reagan went on to become U.S President in the 1980s and was one of the most popular President in history).

"I've never understood why actors expect to keep getting something for life?"

The short answer is actors are paid 60% of their salary during the first few years of the show, banking on they will be paid the rest after 4 years when the show is syndicated, and if they're lucky they'll make 60% more than their previous salary. So if you were only paid 60% of your salary for the first 3 or 4 years of your job, you bet you would want to be paid the rest through residuals that will push your salary over 100%. And if your show is a hit, your pay raise will go though the roof.

Actors outside of the U.S system are usually paid upfront. A few European actors during the '90s and '00s tried to convince their colleagues to convert to the residual systems, but most actors couldn't conceive the idea for waiting for the rest of their salary a few years down the line even if they can reap far larger fiscal benefits.

However you may think of the residual system, for 50 years it supported the middle class in Hollywood. The middle class is what prevents a country from de-evolving into a third world country. Now Hollywood has become a third world country with just the rich and the working class, like a less fun version of Veronica Mar's life in the town of Neptune.

#residuals #sag aftra #SAF AFTRA strike #wga strike

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

I'm a bit surprised how many people are against the UK billboard! I did donate, but I never expected this billboard to have the same effect or visibility as the Times Square one... And of course, I also don't expect it to have real impact on whether we get picked up or not. I thought we might get a few news articles about it in the UK and a morale boost from it.

I understand the concerns about the fundraiser transparency, of course. I don't know how other fandoms have done these fundraisers, whether they've been better at organizing them... There's certainly a lot to learn!

I've seen some people suggest that we shouldn't buy another billboard because... we already had one? I was just reading about the Wynonna Earp campaign and apparently they bought over 250 billboards between s3 and s4 when the show ran out of funding (I also found a Twitter thread with pics of 100 Times Square billboards they bought). If they had that many, then how is 2 billboards for OFMD overkill?

This fandom gets hate for the campaign no matter what we do, even for just tweeting about the show... Isn't visibility exactly what our campaign needs, though? Are we going to tone down the campaign just so we don't get harassed? I don't really see the point in trying to protect the fandom, when the only way to really do that is to completely shut up about the show. And I certainly won't be shutting up about it :D

Anyway. These are just my thoughts on the subject. I'm very curious to see the new billboard! We'll probably learn a lot from it, from how it affects the fandom and how the press reacts to it (if they do)... And of course, how DJ reacts to it.

OMG IM SO SORRY ANON! Yesterday blew up and I never got a chance to get back to you!

I'm with you-- I'm sure there is always something more to learn! I had read the transparency policy a few times right before it was announced (cause I was asked to put it up on my repository), and it seemed like it was pretty straight forward-- but obviously some things needed to be clarified! From what I've seen on the Save OFMD Crew Discord since then, they're working on taking feedback and are going to be updating it to make it more clear.

I also saw that there was a vote going on about leaving the website the same, and I think that passed, but dont quote me on that.

HOLLLY SHIT 250 billboards!? WOW. Well I'm glad they found some funding, jeez! And hey-- it worked right? I think they got their renewal, or at least they're getting a finale.

I respect your thoughts on the subject and I really apreciate you reaching out and expressing them! It's good to hear multiple points of view on it. I definitely agree that there's always going to be someone mad about the fandom. It's just hard I think for our friends who have been around and probably have PTSD from all the hate by this point. I think that means we, the folks still able to do it, should be the front liners on all this and help fight that hate back.

I offer this freely-- if I have the time, and you are running into problems with hate inside the fandom, hit me up. I enjoy being a polite menace and talking through things with people. I got my degree in International Studies/Relations so I have a lot of experience with talking through things-- and I'm more than happy to help if I can!

I am excited to see what happens with the billboard, come good or bad. Thanks anon for writing in, and so sorry again for the delay!

Sending love <3

#ofmd #our flag means death #billboard #hoist the ads #asks anon #asks

[teaveetamer]

i read through a lot of your analyses and i still can't tell what some of your stances are, but i just wanted to know how much you agree with my own stances on edelgard and dimitri/3H.

3H is obviously not a well thought-out political treatise on the ramifications of war and different styles of political change. it just isn't. it ends far too quickly and is too simplistic to ever be anything similar.

what 3H is incredible at is character writing. this is why i simply don't understand why people "hate" edelgard OR dimitri. neither of these people are saints. they've both done horrific things. but they both portray trauma in such fascinating and complex ways that you rarely see in videogames. the parallels they have and the way they see the world are just so compelling to me that i actually avoid finishing CF/SS/AM because it always leaves me feeling so emotional afterward and sometimes i just want a nice comfort game.

that being said, i do take issue with the way dimitri's arc resolves. i think it's extremely unrealistic how he just "snapped out" of his intense mental problems. as someone who has also struggled with mental health, it's a very slow process and often it feels like one step forward, two steps back. i wish that they had left his recovery a lot more incomplete, or that the game had lasted longer so his recovery felt more organic.

this is why i prefer edelgard purely as a character because i think the way she represses her emotions completely and is slowly corrupted by her inability to trust or love herself is a story that makes a lot more sense to me.

I'm not sure in which respects my stances are unclear, but I'm always happy to clarify if you just ask! Keep in mind that this blog is like three years old at this point so if you go back far enough you'll probably find contradicting things, as my opinions have developed and changed over the years. So if that's the problem just assume the most recent stuff is the most accurate.

I will say that while 3H can have some very good character moments, I also think it's incredibly disappointing in a lot of ways. The plot, writing, and worldbuilding being so messy just doesn't give the characters a good foundation to stand on, so character moments often come across extremely hollow to me.

I could name countless examples but I think the most obvious one that everyone picks up on is Gronder Field. First, we're told that this is extremely sad and difficult for all of the characters involved, despite never or almost never seeing the students from different houses interact with each other at any point during the main story. If you don't recruit then it's entirely possible to go the entire Academy portion of the game without seeing a single cross-house interaction beyond the house leaders.

They all point to the feast they had after the battle of Eagle and Lion in the Academy part, but that happens entirely off screen. It's not even really described beyond "it was fun" and "we were all sitting together". Emblem Claude in Engage gives a better idea of what happened there than 3H ever does. A piece of DLC for a completely different game in the series describes what is supposed to be a key interaction better than the game it was actually from!

And then you actually get there and it's contrived AF. There's literally no reason for the BL and GD to be fighting each other at any point but they all kill each other anyway. There's no fog of war. Characters will even recognize each other before they fight and then continue fighting each other anyways despite having absolutely no reason to?

And then it just ends and we're all told to feel very sad about it, but why should we? It's not earned. These characters don't know each other or care about each other, most of them weren't even on opposite sides. It comes across as feeling dumb and unearned, which makes the characters reacting to it completely 100% straight as if it were this huge but unavoidable tragedy come off as confusing and overwrought.

Edelgard's writing as an entire other can of worms that I've gotten into too many times to count, so I'll try to keep this short.

I'll preface this by saying I don't have a problem with people liking or relating to Edelgard in any way. Also, just because something has problems doesn't mean you can't have found meaning in it. I can tell you really enjoy the character anon, and that's great! I wouldn't want to take that away from you.

Buuuuuut since I'm giving my opinion here... I don't agree with her being a well written depiction of trauma. I feel like, especially now, the fandom tends to engage with the Edelgard we all wanted instead of the one we actually got.

Again I'll use a specific example (well actually two) to illustrate my point.

It's hard to take her trauma seriously when it's immediately undercut by her doodling pictures of her crush, getting embarrassed about it, and getting teased. This happens twice. They do this twice! Once in the explore section immediately after Ladislava and Randolph literally die right in front of her, and once after you could have potentially killed Claude and she's talking about being locked in a fucking dungeon!

Like it blows my mind that more people don't talk about this, especially the latter example. You have just potentially killed someone. She's sitting there. Talking about being locked in a dungeon, tortured, and experimented on. And then your character's reaction is to tease her for doodling a picture of you. And they did this two times, so it's not like it was an accident!

So like how am I supposed to read this, exactly? Either the entire scene is bunk and you're not really meant to take the trauma portion seriously, it's all just a big joke, or... or you're supposed to find teasing someone going through a genuine trauma response endearing and enjoyable..? It's just. I've been looking at this scene and the numerous other Edelgard scenes like it and I just don't get there. I don't understand how to read this in a way that isn't incredibly belittling or sexist or SEVERELY undercutting what should be a serious character moment.

But people want it to be this serious, well-written character moment for her. I don't blame anyone for that, because that's what I would have wanted too! But it's just... it's so crazy disrespectful on every level, to treat a female character's trauma like it's a funny quirk or an opportunity to flirt/tease? I can damn well guarantee that no male character would be treated with that amount of disrespect, and we know that because Dimitri exists and at no point is his trauma ever played for a joke or undercut like this! It's not perfectly written, but it's written with respect to the subject and the character.

There's an absurd degree of sexism baked into the writing of 3H that just doesn't get addressed by the fandom at large, so I kind of find it frustrating.

And worse, sometimes when you try to engage with that and critique it you're shouted down or treated as if you are the problem, like I somehow spoke the sexism of the game into existence just by pointing it out.

I could go on but I'll cut myself off here

[punkinspice]

If you don't mind my asking, are you still Christian? I have seen your posts over time about leaving cults and whatnot, and I was curious how that impacted your faith.

Hello! I don't mind you asking at all, and I am happy to talk about it, it's just that it's a very touchy, complicated, controversial and long answer that I don't always know how to answer it in a way that makes sense. (this may get really deep)

If I were to be 100% honest, I will admit that I personally no longer believe in or identify with being a Christian or the Christian faith.

As to what I believe in currently, or what I'd call myself now? I really don't have an answer to that. I guess you could say I'm currently leaning more towards being an agnostic and sometimes atheist? But honestly, the things I may agree with today, may change tomorrow. and I'm sure the things I will believe in currently will be completely changed in a year. And.... I am ok with that. I want to be questioning and to have an open mind to things, opinions and questions and to have the permission to be wrong and to change my mind on things as I learn new or more information.

This is not a choice that I've come to easily, or glibly. It's been a process I've been in the past 3 maybe 4 years of my life, and I think in the last year is when I've chosen to leave the faith. It's a place I never thought I would be in and it's involved a lot of pain, confusion and trauma and healing in my life. There is a whole ton more I could go more deeply into, but I don't feel this is the right post to do that, and I don't quite have words yet to explain or describe everything.

As far as the cult thing goes, there were and are a lot ways that I was raised and taught to believe in, that by definition, was a cult. There were a lot things that were abusive and still traumatize and cut into me deeply and I am in the process of recovering from and untangling the things that were taught to me and it still brings up a lot of trauma for me, of which I am thankfully getting help for.

I also joined a well known Christian organization around the age of 21/22, and was in it for over 2 years, until Covid hit and I had to go home. And the more time I was out and after a ton of research and studying, I will be honest and say that that organization is a cult, and it did leave a lot of mental and financial wounds on me that I am going to be recovering from for a long time. Did I learn a lot from that experience and grow from it? Yes I did, but it is an experience and chapter of my life that I am glad is over.

I know that from the short examples that I've given it's really easy to say that that really wasn't true Christianity, or it was just people poorly misrepresenting the word and love of God, or worse, blaming me and saying that I was never a Christian to begin with, which I can't even begin to explain how much and how deeply into the faith I truly was, and how hurtful that allegation is.

...And maybe all of that is true... And maybe it isn't....

There is a lot of pain, betrayal, anger and grief that I am still healing from and will be healing from for years to come. I don't want to live in a state of bitterness and anger and blame of the things that were done to me. But I also want to admit and be honest about the wrongs that were done to me and the abuse that was done to me in the name of Love.

I need time and separation, but mostly I need love and understanding. It's one of the most painful and isolating experiences I've ever gone through in my life, and so utterly earth shattering and life changing and most of the time you can't even talk to your family or friends about it because you are so afraid of the way they will react and what they will take away from you.

A lot of this is very surface level of my journey through this "deconstruction" of faith if that's what you want to call it. There's so much more that I could go in depth in, but again I don't always have the words or mental fortitude to really get into a lot of things.

If you still have questions I'll try my best to answer. I know this is a really sad and hard thing for a lot of people to hear, and yeah.

It is sad. It's devastating.

There are days I wish could go back to the way it was, or that I could fully go back into the faith.... but I can't. And, despite the excruciating pain and grief that I've been going through, I ironically feel so much more freedom and peace than I ever did in religion. Which I know is hard to comprehend... it's hard for me to explain.

I'm sorry for the ramble and the heaviness. But I guess now's as good a time as any to finally admit this about myself and where I am at.

My final thought is to please have so much grace and understanding to people in your life who are going through a similar process to me. If you have friends or family in this same process, please just be kind to them. They didn't ask for any of this, and many times these doubts and questions came from things out of their control, and they're simply trying and surviving the best they can. There is so much pain there that I'm sure they haven't expressed to you because they are afraid of losing everyone and everything that they love, simply because they do not believe in the same thing anymore. So just love them, and hold space for them and don't argue or defend, as that will only push them away further. And also be open to them. They may have very important and valid insights to things that you may have become blind to. If you really believe in a loving, kind and gracious God then he would be doing those things for these people 10 fold.

#OOF #this was a lot heavier than i intended but I think it needed to be said #its been........ a very very long journey that i am still coming to terms with #but its also a journey that i am so glad to be on #faith #deconstruction #cults #christianity #tw trauma #sorry op #long heavy sigh #welp #here goes nothing #if you have more questions or just wanna chat my dms are open

[dawnfelagund]

Thank you so much for such a detailed and well reasoned reply! That makes me feel a lot more educated on the subject. Out of curiosity, since ao3’s popularity and ubiquity seems to have bred its insularity and lack of accountability, what do you think they would have to do, promise, or change to become more credible again, or to excise this issue? (While preserving their mission, as AO3 is not a moderated site like SWG). Because I do like their mission statement, and some of their operations seem transparent, but as you said, the zero commentary and progress (outside coding) for three years is ridiculous. And if this is outside the realm of something you can or want to answer, that’s okay! No sweat.

It's really hard to say, to be honest! I'm not very familiar* with how the OTW runs (aside from knowing that it is a registered nonprofit in the U.S. and therefore follows the law where that is concerned), and really, I think the question of what needs to be done to regain credibility is really up to individual users/fans to decide. Like the AI thing? Kind of eye-rolly as indicative of dysfunction because of the lack of communication within the upper echelons of the organization and the inability to quickly get about even a basic reassurance that AI scrapers were blocked. Probably not something I'm going to leave over, though. But End OTW Racism? Especially if I was a fan impacted by racist harassment who felt the site had been made off-limits to me as a result?? Every day of silence would make it hard for them to win back my trust, I'd imagine. I wasn't even involved in the protest but find myself pissed, as we approach a week with no response after the protest ended, by the complete lack of response.

* Though it seems that not many people are familiar with how the OTW runs. I recently read this post, which does go into organization-level changes (and Chestnut is in a much better place to speak on this topic than me), which also has a number of comments from OTW volunteers along the lines of, "Well, I was a volunteer for x years but I'm not 100% sure how this is handled in the org." Which is interesting to me that even long-term volunteers--some of whom were quite high in the hierarchy!--lacked that big picture understanding.

The [lack of] communication piece seems quite big to me. In my experience, that torpedoes an organization quite quickly. In my work running the SWG but also as a teacher-leader (someone who takes on leadership roles in my school and district while remaining in the classroom), I have found that better communication always makes things better. Even just saying, "Hey, I know this is a thing. I'm working on it," makes a difference. My experience is that people tend to be pretty understanding. It's the radio silence that is hard to handle. People feel unseen and unheard. Like right now ... there was just a massive antiracist protest against the OTW and still there is nothing on their news page about their promises three years ago, much less a response to that movement. How can that be?? It's hard not to hear in that, "We don't care." It's hard not to see the lack of response as the response.

I wonder too to what extent this dysfunction is going to be endemic in an organization of this size that is run almost entirely by volunteers. Over the weekend, in writing this post about the SWG archive, I realized that we recently reached 5,000 fanworks. Then while checking the OTW news page to see if there were any updates on antiracist actions going forward, I saw that AO3 recently hit 11 million fanworks. 11 MILLION. I know what goes into an archive of 5,000 fanworks and cannot imagine scaling up more than 2,000 times that on volunteer power alone. I also know that the most difficult and time-consuming work the SWG mods do is moderating our Discord server (which is, again, relatively small and friendly!), and while I don't agree with the argument that "AO3 is no longer an archive but a social site and should be moderated accordingly" (i.e., throw out their ideals around serving as a universal archive), I do wonder if we, as fans, need to accept that a site of that size will not be able to do an adequate job of even the limited moderation they do and socialize/interact elsewhere. Which again takes us back to a "small internet" with sites and groups that function as communities and can be moderated by members of those communities. If people want that, let's do it! Let's build those places again. But as I said in my last post, that task isn't on the OTW/AO3, it is on us.

#the otw mess #fandom archives

[crystalelemental]

Alright, Unicorn Overlord apparently has my full attention.  I picked it up kinda on a whim, because it sounded neat and I wanted something new, and just like the last two times this happened, it was a knockout success.  So I'm definitely getting it, but from the demo at least, some preliminary thoughts.

I'll start with the easiest point to talk about: characters and story are absolutely nothing special.  It is...very bare bones basic storytelling at this point.  In truth, I don't mind it.  I think it's serviceable, and at the very least it's not detracting from the game.  I think that's something people miss a lot.  Clamoring for a good story makes sense, but I think in attempting it, sometimes people without really creative ideas just make something that's overly focused on cutscene and shitty, to the detriment of otherwise fun gameplay.  I think Unicorn Overlord is doing fine right now.  It can get more complex later if it wants, but I don't think it has to.

I will spare a brief thought for the whole discourse that seems to be going on about localization.  It reminds me of the Three Houses situation, where the fan translations all clearly have their own angle and no one agrees on anything.  The dialogue is serviceable.  Nothing that I've heard from the game has felt stilted or force, it feels natural and organic for the vibe they're going for, it at times maybe a little flowery.  But I do honestly feel like this is a non-issue.

That out of the way, meat of the game: the actual gameplay.  This game is fun.  Ridiculously so.  You have your units, you have your parties.  You start with three teams of two, and using Honors gained over time, you can expand to have up to ten teams of six.  The farthest I got was five teams of three.  I think I reached a point in the demo where I needed a sixth, given how many party members dropped, but also just gained the ability to add a fourth unit to a group, so...gonna play with that one a bit when I can.

I really like how the game plays.  It's mostly automatic, with the bulk of your preparations being done by setting equipment, setting a leader with a desired skill, and setting up...I forget what they call them, but they're Final Fantasy XII gambits.  You set actions, alternate their order, and set conditions under which they are used, with up to two conditions being applied, checking (I assume) first condition, then for second.  This was super important for my healer, whose initial tactics are set to "Heal if ally under 100%," and thus always heals the frontliner with her 1PP, resulting in someone in my back line getting very preventably dead.  I'm still fiddling with understanding the first and second condition thing, but it's a nice setup.  I didn't really get much time to play with it.

"What do you mean you didn't get to play with it?"  They don't tell you about these tactics until basically the end of the demo.  The last major map of this phase of the game is when they tell you about this.  You get the healer in the opening like half hour, and the archer is the first you recruit.  These tactics are life-changing, like you really want to have access to these.  It's kinda wild that they wait so long.  I did find out before then, but not enough to fully figure out first and second conditions and re-organization of skills.  There's a lot I'll need to play with.

The matchup system is interesting.  Armor is specifically bad against magic, horses are good against infantry but fliers are good against cavs.  Bows are good against fliers, and Soldiers can have attacks good against cavs.  You also have situations where archers are specifically excellent against Thieves, because they cannot miss.  It's a fairly organic system, with a couple of specific considerations, but nothing that's overbearing, and no one class has felt too overpowered.  General combat against the random parties is fairly quick and easy.  A lot of the time, with a decent matchup, I could clear the fight in one round of combat.  Bosses, however, could be a lot trickier, depending on the boss.  Some still went down easy, some were...considerably more annoying about it.

On that note: one frustrating thing is that half the time, when I encounter a fight that's taking like no damage, I can't figure out why.  The final boss of the demo is a good example.  I did figure him out eventually, he blocks two attacks and retaliates with lowering attack and Poisoning you, and with a 2AP move that drops everyone to 1HP.  It is, in fact, kinda bullshit, and outright requires more than one party to handle as far as I can tell.  But there are other situations where things don't make sense to me.  Like the boss just before that.  The first fight, my party took like 14 damage, and took out 89 HP of their roster, including a full opponent.  The second fight, they killed my Brigand before going down by swinging for, apparently, 59 damage.  I do not understand how they did this.  Like yes, I see the skills pop up, but I do not comprehend what they mean half the time.  Reading over the enemy's stuff is extremely time-consuming, if you want a full understanding of how this all works.  Fortunately, it only ever seems to matter for is bosses.  The most confounding situation of this was once I had a good amount of damage, then applied the 3VP Lord skill to give everyone First Strike, and somehow my damage went way down and we were eating more damage.  I don't remember the conditions, but that is baffling.  My best guess is I landed Poison or Burn, and that enemy's priority would've taken them out before some of my attacks, which would've done more to back row?  Literally no idea.

There are a couple of tactics I'd really like to improve on.  One is leaders.  I feel like I could be doing a lot better about Leadership duties.  Usually I go with the cavs and fliers because mobility, but I do recognize that something like the armored knight would've been good against the Rock Rat map with all the archer spam.  Or using archers, mages, or healers for tower support.  I really need to work on that.  The last map was so clearly setting up "use this tower for support," and my party might have had a better time of that one with some support.  Valor is another.  I keep forgetting they have like...overworld effects.  Same map, Rock Rats, completely forgot about the ability to blow away barricades with 1VP move.  Would've saved me a lot of time, since I backpedaled into mining Divine Shards for Ochlys as my solution.  Barricades cannot stop flight.  The last is messing with team composition.  I feel like I clung really strongly to only one or two comps, and they are going to fail me over time.  I'm really reliant on Travis Dodge to manage one team, and it goes about as well as you could expect.  And eventually, Josef is going to fall off as a tank man.

Classes don't feel especially overpowering, although they do matter.  The bigger contribution is really team composition.  Which.  I have some that I like, and some I'm really not a huge fan of.  Once I get the game proper I'll spend more time reconfiguring and trying stuff out, because right now I'm not super attached?  The only team I really like is Ochlys/Bruno/Sharon/Auch.  And I admit, that's like 50% because Ochlys.  She's so good.  Though Auch's fire magic and Burn status is divine.  I dunno, I just...I feel like there are some options I need to work with more than I do.  I'm getting through the game fine, but I feel like the higher difficulty would kick my ass.  I also really like Fran for her horse-smiting ways and full row attacks.  Go figure, fliers and mages, just like my Fire Emblems.

At present I'm sitting on a ton of money I haven't spent, because I don't know how finite it will be moving forward.  I did wind up getting some nice equipment for characters, but not as much as I potentially could.  I'm just very...conservative about the whole situation.  And the majority of my problems feel like they come more from turn order than raw damage, with the first major boss being solved not through sheer damage output, but through status and multi-strike from Auch.  I think it's more a matter of figuring that stuff out than strictly getting bigger numbers, because most upgrades I could make are like 1-2 points, which is...not significantly interesting.

As for how far I made it...the first time though I just went for the ending once my time was running out, and it was brutal.  Missed a few characters, final boss was incredibly difficult but we did make it through.  Auch is my entire solution, turns out.  But I did replay it while skipping scenes for stuff I'd seen before, which it turns out saves a shitload of play time, and let me clear out everything in the south.  I didn't push north past Auch's map, when maps turned to level 10 challenges.  I really wanted to get Scarlett and the others first to keep them at a commensurate level.  I did, however, fuck around and find out by KOing all the roaming enemies and exploring, getting a lot of extra resources and an absolutely kickass sword.  Oh, and I repaired a bridge that apparently takes me to like...near the end of the game?  I assume that's what "recommended level 40" is, since they were talking about the heart of the empire and all.  Would love to know if this game can be sequence broken that hard.

That's all my thoughts for now.  I'm really excited to play this one.  I even took the day off work to pick it up and just play through it.  Always a good sign.  I think I needed something outside of my usual, and this game has been a ton of fun.  Looking forward to its release.

#unicorn overlord