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gaypiratepropaganda · 4 months

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Izzy's apology in the finale seems to have taken some people by surprise. During the break between seasons, I tried a few times to politely bring up the fact that Izzy was technically abusing Ed. Not because I wanted anyone to stop liking him (you can like a character who's doing abuse! it's not real. who cares), but because I was worried about the reaction when season two came out. I love this show very much and I know how tumblr can get. Most importantly, I love fucked up fictional relationships and cannot abide people making these two boring. So here we go. (I also love lists)

First. Emotional abuse can occur in intimate relationships, family relationships like father and son, or in the workplace (Ed/Izzy triple threat!). Second, it has to be an ongoing thing. Someone doing one of these things once is not abuse. Abuse is a pattern of cruel and frightening behavior in order to control the victim.

(Don't feel bad if you didn't notice this stuff! It's relatively subtle and we're kind of trained to ignore and forgive it, especially from characters like Izzy. I wasn't 100% sure I was right about this either until season two confirmed it. I think a lot of people don't even know what emotional abuse is, at least where I live.)

Below are some pretty solid warning signs (this said "criteria" before but I changed it to be more accurate) for emotional abuse, followed by examples:

•Monitoring and controlling a person’s behavior, such as who they spend time with or how they spend money.

One of Izzy's main motivations in season one was trying to force Ed to act more like his image of Blackbeard. To achieve that, he bullied, belittled, and threatened Ed. He attempted to kill Stede because Ed was spending too much time with him and he felt that Stede was a bad influence.

• Threats to a person’s safety, property, or loved ones

He tried to kill Stede (Ed's loved one) or get him killed several times. Once trying to get Ed to do it himself with the doggy heaven situation, once directly with the duel, and once by calling in the navy.

He didn't directly threaten Ed's safety until episode ten, but he did seem to have Ed convinced that the crew would kill him if Izzy wasn't there to protect him and then when Ed did things he didn't like, Izzy threatened to leave. It's indirect, but has the same result: Ed felt he was unsafe unless he did what Izzy wanted.

• Isolating a person from family, friends, and acquaintances

Izzy seemed to keep Ed isolated from the crew, act as a go-between, and control their perceptions of each other to a certain extent. In the first few episodes, Ed was always shown alone in his goth cabin with Izzy as his only contact. When he started to make new friends Izzy tried to make him kill them.

After Izzy was banished, he secretly sent Ed's ex in to manipulate him and get him away from his new community. Then he got them all arrested, culminating in the deal he made with the English that would have made Ed his prisoner. Not sure that was on purpose, but it was so fucked up I had to mention it.

The bit that really got me, for some reason, was when Frenchie asked after Ed and Izzy told the crew he was sick.

• Demeaning, shaming, or humiliating a person

Izzy is often shown berating Ed and yelling at him. The way Ed reacts suggests to me that he may be used to this kind of treatment from people in general, or from Izzy in particular. He never leaves or asks him to stop, he just takes it.

• Extreme jealousy, accusations, and paranoia

He was so jealous of Ed's relationship with Stede that he got the literal military involved. His explanation to for why Ed enjoys spending time with Stede was that he has "done something to [Ed's] brain." Like, what magic powers do you think he has, Izzy?

• Making acceptance or care conditional on a person’s choices

Izzy made it very clear that he would only support Ed if he conformed to the Blackbeard persona. He also seemed to have Ed convinced that there was no way he could survive without Izzy's support.

I just realized that if you subscribe to the headcanon that Izzy acts as a sort of caretaker to Ed (I do not) then all of this is way more fucked up.

• Constant criticism, ridicule, or teasing.

In season one he criticized everything Ed did, all his plans, even while telling him to come up with more plans. He ridiculed Ed and called him names pretty often: "twat, namby-pamby, insane." Even in season two when he's doing better, most of their interactions consist of Izzy teasing and making fun of Ed for being mopey or in love.

• Refusing to allow a person to spend time alone

I didn't think of this until now, but Izzy is often around when Ed thinks he's alone. He knows about things that happen in scenes he isn't in. Izzy's always sort of lurking, though? And he does it to everyone. So I'm not sure if we should count this one.

• Thwarting a person’s professional or personal goals

He's ok about piracy related goals, but as soon as Ed tried to do something other than that he got so weird about it. "This crew is so talented, why are we even being pirates?" is what got Izzy to threaten Ed. Which is interesting because he was fine with the retirement idea before, when he thought he'd get to be captain.

• Instilling feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness

"insane unpleasant shell of a man merely posing as blackbeard." "I should have let the English kill you. This... whatever it is you've become is a fate worse than death."

• Gaslighting: making a person question their competence and even their basic perceptual experiences.

He called Ed insane and implied that the crew would mutiny if he wasn't there to stop them. This is clearly untrue, as we were already shown that his method of "massaging the crew" consisted of calling Ed half insane and pulling Fang's beard even though Fang hates that. The fact that he calls Ed insane more than once while at the same time trying to get him to act more insane seems like basic gaslighting to me. Then again, Izzy's definition of "insanity" may be like, depression, crying, showing emotions, loneliness, and enjoying softness.

[can't find a gif of this so just imagine Ed in the gravy basket with Hornigold saying "you're worried you're insane."]

Something that wasn't on this specific list but is generally considered part of emotional abuse is manipulation: the use of indirect tactics to change someone's thoughts, feelings, or behaviors in an attempt to influence them for personal gain.

I think Izzy often tries to be manipulative. He's not the greatest at it, but it's the thought that counts. He manages to be surprisingly successful through persistence and repetition.

He's got Ed convinced from the first time we see them that he is useless as a captain without Izzy. That's why Ed feels like he needs him. He tells him that the only thing standing between Ed and a crew constantly on the brink of mutiny is Izzy. Then he tells him that he will leave if he can't live up to his expectations.

He has a pattern of lying to Ed or not telling him the whole truth. He threatens him directly and indirectly in an attempt to influence him and control his behavior. He wants power, whether he gets it by becoming a captain when Ed retires or by making sure Ed remains powerful by any means necessary.

this is what he was apologizing for, along with the years of being terrible to Ed before Stede came into the picture. I never expected him to admit it so clearly like that. He fed Ed's "darkness," poked at his trauma for so long because he needed Blackbeard. It was something they did together, and he enjoyed Blackbeard's dominance and cruelty.

Of course there are other things that can be part of this kind of abuse, like infantilization, silence, and harassment. There are more examples of abusive behavior from Izzy at the start of season two, especially in the scene where Ed's asking Izzy to kill him. but I am not ready to get into that right now.

Anyway, Ed and Izzy's storylines in season two only make sense to me with this in mind. Ed is recovering from not only the suicide attempts but also this fucked up situation he was in, whether he realizes it or not. Izzy learns to stop being such a shitboy and admits he was wrong. ~growth~

if you interpret their relationship differently that's obviously fine. but I think this is the most interesting interpretation, as well as what was intended. It's no fun for me when people make them both equally awful to each other. I like it better as it is in the show: Ed fighting back against Izzy's emotional abuse with physical violence, which only ends up traumatizing him further. It's such a unique and fascinating story.

#our flag means death #Ed Teach #izzy hands #ed/izzy #blackbeard #ed/stede #tw abuse #abuse cw #@piratecaptainscaptainpirates #I should have posted this a long time ago but #I was kind of afraid you guys would kill me lmao #I think we're good now #we can talk about this #if you think of anything else I'll add it #one more thing I didn't know how to fit in here #is the way Izzy really wants Ed to be violent #to other people but also to him #when Ed doesn't want to do that #and is specifically triggered by being violent #also the first thing that really made me go #hey wait a minute #about Izzy was when he apologized to Ed for calling him a 'shell of a man' while he was 'leaving'#Ed said 'no. you were right. about all of it.'#and then Izzy immediately went back to being a dick to him two episodes later #reminds me so much of what one of my friends went through #wow this is so long

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felsdumpsterfire · 11 months

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Contrary to popular belief, I am fully convinced D'arce was the last to officially join the poly because of A) unrequited love for pretty Frenchman but also in respect to Celeste. So Cahara had to really put all his Lovehara into bagging the cute knight who could bench press him

#not a reblog.#my art.#fear and hunger #funger #funger poly #cahara #d'arce #ragnvaldr #enki #le'garde #i just really think she should like #be allowed to ditch the french twink to be with three tall guys + a hot lady #anyway #I am addicted to putting -hara at the end of everything and it is ONE SPECIFIC comics fault #iykyk #ALSO THE FERAL URGE TO DRAW ADULT THINGS WITH THEM BUT NOT HAVING ANYWHERE TO POST IT IS KILLING ME

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arsenicflame · 1 year

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i Do Not Trust people who make Mary the bad guy in their stories when the show went out of its way to specifically show us how she was suffering just as much as stede was in their marriage and that shes, yknow, a good person

#mary is specifically framed in a sympathetic light in all of her appearances. the show switches to following her narrative so we can see #how much better her new life is for her too!!! like yes she tries to kill stede but we are shown in the narrative WHY she makes that choice #and that she struggles with it and we see stede understanding this too! he supports her decisions and her new life and is happy for her!!!#at no point are we shown anything that makes mary a bad person or bad mother- honestly i generally like mary far more than stede anyway #but even if you dont you should be able to acknowledge... that if u make her the bad guy??? w. what did you take away from the show??#idk it has the vibes of. the girl character all the fans hate because she gets in the way of their precious little gay ship #or whatever. you know what i mean #ofmd #our flag means death #mary bonnet #mary allamby bonnet #everyone whos a mary hater is also an izzy hater bc theyre coded the same character type. betrayed wives my beloved #(this is a joke.)#uh. this might be one to add in the tags on again sorry gang i have too many thoughts

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lazycranberrydoodles · 6 months

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through a cruel twist of fate, the brocade immortal escaped again!! and now it is ESSENTIAL to the PLOT that they wear maid dresses. follow for more clownery <3

HUA CHENG IS NOT TAKING THE MAID ROLEPLAY SERIOUSLY!!! relatedly go read the practical use of good stamina by @fullmetalpotterhead its hilarious

#its so important to me to provide hualian silly guy representation #xie ��try setting a limit of 5 eye rolls a day’ lian and hua ‘if youre so interested in ghosts why dont you kill yourself’ cheng #but also. im a simple man. i wanted to draw blorbos in maid outfits #and i missed maid dsy </3 #look below the cut for me not being able to shut up about them #why does hua cheng want to wear a maid dress? 1. he likes experimenting with his look. 2. hes genderfucked #3. specific new flirting scenarios. 4. maid dresses are cute #and most importantly; 5. gege asked him to #the antics and tomfoolery that was going on in the brocade immortal arc. unprecedented #cringetober 2023 #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #maid outfit #hob #heaven official’s blessing #art #my art

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satsuha · 1 year

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table manners (based on some tavern banters)

read right to left!

#octopath traveler 2 #octopath traveler ii #satsuhart #hikari ku #temenos mistral #throne anguis #castti florenz #osvald v. vanstein #partitio yellowil #ochette #agnea bristarni #(specific banter spoilers in tags so stop reading if you care)#i think its kinda funny that temenos eating a fish rly cleanly was called 'elegant'??#feel like if i saw that id just think damn you were hungry huh #same w throne im..! not sure how knife (killing people) skills translates to better table manners but like love that for her #but i mean shes also the most city girl... technically #hikari is self explanatory #castti and osvald would just be very um normal i think... osvald might have a few bad manners but nothing appalling #but the mans also been in prison for like 5 years so #partitio is pretty normal too but he has such a Surrounded by Guys childhood that i imagine he has some overly casual habits(??)#like putting ur feet on chairs or whatever... manspreading (im kidding #agnea is mostly passable like u wouldnt notice it until she messes up #well her and ochette the banter says it all really #i like how castti is like a mom to osvald too #but shes also been mistaken as rita by him already so. well. whatever goes #octo2

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hypogryffin · 5 months

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TELL US ABOUT THE PRINCESS KNIGHT AU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PL

ok sorry its been like two months but anyways lets talk abt the princess/knight au!!!

haru is a princess, specifically the only heir to king kunikazu. yusuke is sort of a knight, but it's more that he's haru's personal bodyguard!

his mother was a court painter. she was pretty physically weak and fell ill a lot, and after she had yusuke, she realised that, while her and her family were able to live with the royal family for now due to her work, if and when her sickness claims her, her son would no longer be welcome in the castle. since she was all the family yusuke had, that would mean hed likely live the rest of his life on the streets, and as a young child, he wouldnt have the means to make that rest of his life a very long one.

so she made a deal with the king, haru's father, and it was decided he would grow up as harus retainer.

[image ID slash written text for those who cant read my handwriting (😔):

(servant, holding a 1 year old haru in their arms): do you see him, princess? [a shot of a small baby sleeping] his name is yusuke. from now on, his job will be to protect you.

a note next to the drawing of baby haru reads "yusuke is a year younger than haru, as in canon, but it was decided very early on in his life that he would be haru's personal guard!"

a drawing of a young yusuke and haru with another note that says "he began learning how to wield a sword and bow basically as soon as he was physically able, but until he was learned enough to protect haru, he just acted sort of as an escort to her {while a retinue guarded both of them}"

end id.]

its a good thing it was decided so early, too: yusukes mother succumbed to illness before yusuke was even three years old. (he has no memory of her. haru doesnt either, but she DOES remember the funeral that was held.)

(one of the last pieces yusukes mother ever painted was of a young haru holding a baby, a man who would one day become her guard. it became a pretty significant piece for the okumura kingdom for a while, actually: it was used to mean "serve the royal family and it shall serve you, in turn". its hung up on the stairwell into the castle guards' quarters.)

anyway, so yusuke and haru grew up together. they were paired so early on into their lives that neither of them have any memory of a time without each other: for all it matters to them, they were born hand-in-hand with their roles set in place.

they were very close as children, especially before yusuke was considered sufficiently trained in his weapons. it was very common for them to walk around the castle holding hands, and they barely ever separated, only ever doing so for things like sleep or bathing, or lessons-- though the last of those wasnt always true. yusuke would have lessons alongside haru in things like etiquette, of course, but could also be found in the room for things such as history, or her music lessons. likewise, haru would watch yusuke train, though she wasnt allowed to wield a sword or bow herself and could only cheer him on.

(not until they were a bit older, when yusuke taught her how to fight with a sword himself. even then, they used wooden swords, so that haru wouldnt get hurt.)

yusuke was the only boy other than the king himself allowed in harus bedroom, since the only others given access were the handmaids responsible for things like cleaning her room, dressing or bathing her, et cetera. he used to enter as he pleased as such, and only got into the practice of properly knocking and announcing his presence as they got older. hes all-together almost completely stopped actually going into her room, opting instead to stand at her door until she leaves, herself.

as they grew up, they were steadily more and more discouraged from being as physically affectionate as they were as children. yusuke was punished for doing things like holding her hand if they were seen, and was taught to instead be a silent presence to her side or two paces behind her, seen and not heard, the way a "guard" ought to be. at the same time, harus etiquette lessons taught her the necessary decorum to be a princess and one day a queen, and there was no room for a friendship with a retainer, even if it was yusuke. though they care for each other just as much as when they were children, perhaps even more devoted, youd be fair to miss it, since neither of them are able to be open with each other anymore.

(yusukes still slightly more touchy-feely than whats probably expected of a guard. its not really physical affection in the same way, but he'll do things like brush dust or pluck lint off of haru's dresses himself or adjust her hair or jewelry or clothes-- of course, only to make sure her highness looks her best, so its forgiven to the outside observer, but still something technically not of his station.)

haru is a lot different that she was when they were children. proper etiquette is extensive, obviously, and the young girl that was considered the country's daughter, kind and open whenever seen in processions, has long since been stripped for parts. her public face has matured quite a bit by necessity, though her kindness and permanent smile remains-- it's simply that it's more of a part she plays, at this point, any of her natural disposition worn to steel, as a certain amount of control is necessary for a woman of her station.

she doesnt regret the person shes become, even if somewhat conniving-- after all, she needs a certain amount of cunning to keep her head above water in the political scene. or its more that she's not able to regret it, as she's never had any other option than to become as jaded as she is today.

still, it's hard not to yearn for the old days, when they were innocent children. shes not quite aware of it, herself, but she certainly misses yusuke, her friend. its just hard to figure that out when to this day, yusuke, her guard, remains as staunchly by her side as her best friend always has.

when i made the initial drawings for the princess/knight au, i wrote the beginning of a short story of a yusuke pov that i unfortunately must have tossed it because i dont have it anymore, but his character is defined by his devotion. hes never known anything other than being haru's, after all, and considers everything he does a labour of love for her. every moment he spends training is for her, every injury for her sake, every callous a simple, unavoidable byproduct of his servitude. he keeps the posture he learned in his etiquette classes even in private, because erring once is to live with the knowledge of his erring forever, and more than that, risking forming the habit of being anything less than the perfect knight for his lady is something he can't bear the thought of.

luckily, there isnt much danger living in the castle, so yusuke only trains as ardently as he does as precaution for the most part, but there was one incident in which the castle was attacked by royal detractors. haru wasnt actively targeted, being only 8 years old at the time, but there was a spot of trouble where he had to protect her. yusuke, being 7, wasnt fully learned in his swordsmanship yet, and sustained a few scars, including but not limited to one on his eyebrow he hides behind his hair, but considers himself barely harmed, especially considering that that was the incident that took many other castle guards' lives, as well as the life of the queen, haru's mother.

king kunikazu and the kingdom at large is currently pretty uneasy due to a war brewing just a bit away; neither the kingdom nor any of its current allies are being actively threatened, but its one of already many due to one kingdom's ancient rome-esque conquering of a path of smaller countries, and the "okumura" kingdom looks as if it will be on the warpath sooner or later. due to this, the kingdom's engaged with an alliance with a comparatively smaller kingdom that it neighbours. the alliance is going to be officiated with a marriage: haru is kunikazu's only heir, but due to some societal stuff, as a woman she's considered unfit to rule as a monarch. so, she's now to be married with one of the sons of said neighbouring kingdom, who will act as ruler with her at his side:

akira is the son of the king and technically an eligible heir to the kurusu kingdom, but due to his place as the 4th son, he's not a crown prince/not considered to be in line for the throne-- or at least, not to his home nation, as he's now set to be the king of the okumura kingdom.

he seems to be of the same mind as haru: uninterested in her in a romantic sense, but has accepted the marriage for the sake of his country. however, he also seems completely uninterested-- or perhaps actively against-- the prospect of being king, not of his own country and not of the okumura kingdom. it seems that hes grown up acting as more of a free spirit; hes pretty crafty, and has a reputation amongst his own retinue for always managing to sneak off, running away as soon as hes left unattended by his father or instructors, or disappearing overnight (much to the grief and distress of his caretakers), though he's always returned, apparently rather aware of his own limits, or at least capable of getting himself out of whatever trouble he ends up getting into, without drawing the ire of either the common people or his father, the king.

because of his nature, he either sees himself as unfit for king, or merely feels stifled by the idea of the position, and in private talks has disclosed to haru that hed much rather her take her (in his words) rightful place as the queen and head of the nation, and is more than alright with her being the brains/power of the operation, even if in the end it has to be him giving speeches when necessary.

however, while disliking the idea of being a king in general, and also disinterested in haru as anything more than a confidant (having also privately disclosed to her that he does have his eye on someone), he seems attached to the arrangement of this marriage, for “some unknown reason”.

((thats right baby its ALSO a kitashu au get fucked))

akira and haru are officially engaged at the time of the story, and are in the midst of planning for the wedding! they tentatively become friends, since theyre both kind of stuck with each other presumably for the rest of their lives. hes seemingly made a goal to make haru let her guard down, and has even convinced her at some point to sneak out of the castle with him (at a point where he and his father were visiting) to explore the surrounding town without their retinues-- something that gave yusuke specifically about 7 heart attacks, as its something harus never done before.

oh yeah, and by the way, yusuke fucking hates akira.

haru really liked seeing the town without her guards, and without having to put on the air of princess. it was freeing to act as a commoner, and the first time shes been able to strip herself of her etiquette-- something she cant do around anyone in the castle, not even yusuke, at least not to the extent she has to to blend in with the townspeople. she liked it so much that it becomes a regular thing whenever akira is at the castle and not in his own country.

some of harus caretakers have noticed her disappearances, including yusuke, who is at her side in almost every waking moment: he greets her in the morning to escort her to breakfast and brings her to her room at night. when hes not standing at her side, hes guarding the room shes in, and only leaves her when its time for him to turn in for the night, as well. obviously hes noticed this sudden habit of disappearing, and more than that, HES the one who ends up tasked with discouraging harus maids from disclosing this to king kunikazu, since haru isnt aware theyve figured her out, and their social standing disallows them from discussing it with her themselves. haru asked yusuke to keep her and akira's outings a secret from her father when he confronted her after the first time, so its his duty to make sure its a secret.

its not that yusuke resents akira for giving him more work-- hes more than happy to do something as trivial as this for haru, his princess, but its more that this means yusukes forced to be idle while distinctly aware that haru, who hes spent his entire life protecting and caring for, is off somewhere unknown, could be in danger or could be physically harmed, and hes not only none the wiser but also complicit, by allowing her to do this. though he cant ask her to stop, because its clear haru is happier with these momentary escapes. its a miserable position to be in, and he fully blames akira for being the one to put him there

(and resents him for the fact that akira is an outsider and a newcomer. despite this, its clear that hes doing something for haru that yusuke hasnt been able to, not since they started growing up. hes making her happy, and comfortable.

its anxiety over harus safety, and an intense, burning jealousy that hes not really able to identify in the same way)

[text id:

yusuke looking angry as he says "my lady's happiness is of the utmost importance to me. it is for this reason alone that i will allow these escapades to go on, without reporting them to the king or your father." "this marriage will be essential to this country's future, and i have no intention of interfering in your relationship with your fiancée, even considering my role as her loyal servant."

the second drawing reveals him to have cornered akira, seemingly pinning him to a wall, as he continues "however, if i find you to ever, ever put the princess's life in danger, then this country as well as your own be damned, i will strike you down myself, and i swear on my life to make your death ten thousand times as painful as whatever harm you have caused to her highness. do you understand, my lord?"

akira is blushing heavily, knees cowed slightly. he stutters out a "uh. uh-huh" like he's in a trance. an arrow points to him with a note that reads "his gay ass is NOT listening!"

end id]

for some actual story…

during a banquet held in celebration of akira and haru's engagement, king kunikazu suddenly collapsed and lost his life in that room. it was discovered that the cup he was drinking from was poisoned.

no one has any idea who assassinated the king-- it could very well be some of the many citizens that disliked the king's rather strict policies. the taxes are high, and punishment for crimes tend to be much stricter than in other countries. however, a common rumour among many of the townsfolk is that it was the world of the neighbouring kingdom: a ploy to get prince akira in power in order to take over the nation and subsume it as part of the kurusus' country.

regardless of whether or not that has any merit or is simply baseless rumour, the wedding has been temporarily postponed so that the country-- and haru-- may focus on the investigation. akira, at the least, seems more than willing to help. if it really the scheme of his nation, or of his father, he seems both unaware and unwilling to be a part of it, offering every aid he can to haru, even if it ends up only effectively being an open ear.

yusuke remains by her side, as he always had and as he always will-- perhaps a bit more protective of her, somehow, but the entire castle is on edge, so its not as if thats unexpected. as a knight, a simple extension of his lady's will, he cant do much for her to solve her problems, not possessing the intelligence to solve the case of her father's murder, the political knowhow to aide her and her fathers advisor who's acting as regent pro tempore in ruling, nor a magical ability to bring king kunikazu, someone who he had come to see as his own father in some form, himself, back from the land of the dead. still, he is harus humble servant, and devoted to her above all else, and whatever his lady needs, he will do his best to provide.

the story is about the political aspect of haru and akiras ascension to ruling and of trying to find a culprit, but also about the relationship between the three of them: akira getting closer to both of them, and yusuke and haru reconnecting. :)

#asks & requests #yusuharu #...should i tag? other stuff? hrm #p5 #akira kurusu #...i guess.#im not sure if i imagine any pairing as 'endgame' in the actual story #but yusuharu would be certainly the most prominent and i can only imagine thered be a lot of fuel both kitashu & shuharu throughout lol #....so i guess the endgame would be shuharukita? somehow?#if i actually wrote about the story past the setup i KNOW id get way too into worldbuilding and political intrigue #but im appealing this as a yusuharu au so i dont know if anyone would actually care if i went on abt that aspect lmaao #also sorry for putting you in an arranged marriage and also killing your dad again haru. i cant promise it wont happen again #at least this time ur fiance is a stand-up guy!👍#chef recommended #<i think im big brain. for lots of things but for this au specifically i like this one

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peacereturnedtothevalley · 3 months

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remembering a thought I had back when I was listening to hieron, which was like “wow none of these guys have secret super tragic backstories they’re just causing their own very bad problems on screen in front of me”

Which applies to most of the pcs across seasons I think. I just think it’s neat

does anyone have a deep dark sad past in fatt in this nature bc I can’t remember any

#mostly I was reminiscing about old fatt things and also the number of dead wife backstories in other contemporary(?) aps #specifically the dead wife (gay) reveal on that other show happening the same day blue j came out #or like #the other guy on that other show who’s whole family died tragically when he was a child or something #is it just in the nature of dnd to have untethered orphaned sad person so they have reasons to go find a group of other similar people #and go on heroically presented killing sprees #much to think about

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chiquitin-o · 3 months

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what i like about the aphmau community, specifically mcd fans, is that we most likely watched her series when we were young. now that we’re older, we have the ability to create ourselves and make pretty fuckin’ sick things too

#like artwork i’m thinking specifically #i saw on tiktok a drawing of mcd zane and my jaw literally dropped it was grogeos. gorgis. fuck #you get what i mean #also just me #like i looked back on my VERY old aphmau fanart and i was like YIKES…#compared to the “i think we’re gonna have to kill this guy garroth” i like that way more #even if i did struggle relearning how to draw him #and we also can fuck around i like that too. like make “mature” jokes and stuff #minecraft diares #mcd #i don’t support aphmau

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jacksprostate · 4 months

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Bob in female fight club au. Thoughts

Probably named Marge

Rather than doing a direct inversion (ie making the character the exact opposite, much tits -> no tits, etc) I think sort of an analogue would work better riffing off the motherly role Bob has, in combination with the group being for uterine cancer/ovarian cancer

The women come together, and they cry, cry, cry, over lost husbands, who left them because they got cancer, because overwhelmingly, men leave if their wife gets cancer, over lost relationships with children, who stayed but resent them, over lost Motherhood, that thing you were told was your worth but now you are told you're shit. Remaining Women Together. Despite. Despite despite despite.

What is it, about purposes. Want to see misery, see women fed their own physical oppression as lost salvation.

Marge, whatever her name is, her husband divorced her, left her with the kids and medical bills stacked as high as she is tall. She is thankful she still has her kids, it makes her feel like she's still worth something. She's had to try and get back into the workforce. No one wants to hire dear former stay at home mother Marge. She shows you her kids in her wallet in her purse and there are no pictures of her. There's a picture of her old husband, which she keeps to show her kids if they ask. They're old enough to go to school now, which is good, because it gives her more time to work. Life is hard, but she's doing her best.

Marge, who is on hormone therapy so she doesn't get those "side effects" she's heard about from other total hysterectomy patients, the future of early dementia and degeneration and horror. Who does pelvic floor exercises in hopes it will minimise the fallout of the surgery. Who carefully rips every hair out of her upper lip and chin because even if it would be normal for a woman, a woman whose gone through menopause, a woman at all — she knows, it's probably the estrogen tipping back over into testosterone, and she can't handle any more losses. She compensates. They all do.

The support group is her Me Time. It is the single hour plus half hour commute she can afford once a week for herself. So she gets here, and she cries, cries, cries, and the others cry with her, all over how their lives have fallen apart since they got ovarian cancer, got breast cancer, and their lives derailed because they can't be proper women anymore.

They cry in their waterproof makeup. Another product to promise womanhood. Identify yourself via consumption. Identify yourself by covering yourself up.

And when she finds fight club. When she finds something that says, jesus fuck. You are more than your children. You are more than your ability to have kids. You aren't a failed woman, that's a sack of shit you've been sold wholesale. When she finds something that promises her she will grow, achieve personhood, not because she was the ultimate martyr mother, not because she played the game of human or woman, but because it promises a freedom from all that, identification and repulsion of such sickening chains. When she stops worrying about her slightly deepened voice, and works to keep her dose even keel for her health, to avoid the toxic highs of accidentally juicing, rather than the lesser effects of a black lip hair or two. When she has a photo, not of herself in her wallet, but of the things she makes with other women from fight club, of the one view of the sunset from that one parking lot that she always thought was wonderful, when she has things in her wallet for her and her enjoyment. When she has corded muscle and a built up spine, when she sits her kids down and explains why they only see dad one weekend every other month, all the fun holidays, because dad decided staying with her through cancer was too hard even when she stayed with him through four lost jobs pissed away in alcohol and lottery tickets.

And Marge, who gets shot by the police on a regulation chill-and-drill assignment for Project Mayhem. Whose obituary in the newspaper talks about the children she left behind, how she battled cancer and kept caring for them, how she was such a strong mother, whose kids would now be shipped off to their grieving father who is so, so brave and stunning for standing up and taking care of the kids he made and dropped as soon as his live-in servant had a few issues. Her name is Marge Paulson, and she was forty-eight years old. She was a person. She will be remembered in the annals of Project Mayhem, lest what little there was of her be stolen from the world. She was killed by Project Mayhem, but they're the only ones who will remember Marge Paulson.

#fight club #female fight club au #like. it's about how the male castration being the worst thing that could happen to a man as per gendered ideals gets reflected here.#being very clear; the motherhood focus should seem as immensely disturbing and disproportionate. if not much more tbh. as how the guys are #because like. yeah the male focus on balls is immense but the pressure to consider your entire worth and personhood and status as a being a #your reproductive capacity is Insane for women. and i think that would be uhhh highly relevant in female fight club #both as the logical mirror to the castration/emasculation thing #and also because it's inextricable from any sort of feminism demanding a backbone #yadda yadda yadda #the end is also interesting #the death and the name thing just cant quite be the same #its still horrifying because the Project did kill her #but god. so many women die and no one fucking remembers them #just what they did as mothers or servants #so. her name is marge paulson. would be important.#this is very specific and dear 2 me.#its not about hating the kids or saying fuck them or anything either #its just. shes a person. womanhood is not some step below (man) personhood

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