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#and creators have to work fast to get “content” out while people are still paying attention
queerxqueen · 3 months
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this is random but there is nothing more humbling than the fic you are proudest of writing having the least kudos of your fics on ao3.... fool me once byler u will always be famous To Me
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truthem · 1 year
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Korean Learning Resources
These are my personal favorite resources that I use in order to self-study Korean!
(if a link doesn’t work pls lmk)
YouTube Channels
빅키샘Miss Vicky
Miss Vicky has helped me tremendously with learning Korean. I use her videos mainly as a review but if I don’t understand something that I get from my main learning source (I’ll get to that in a bit!), I run over to her channel, find a video regarding that topic, and she clears everything right up. Her content is so thorough and I love the way she explains things (especially grammar). She’s also a native Korean speaker, so it’s comforting to know that she’s a reliable source. (maybe Im just a bit too suspicious…)
Hailey _Your Korean Friend
Hailey is the #1 YouTuber I recommend to beginners who are struggling with 한글 (Korean writing system/“alphabet”). Her explanations are amazing and I never got bored watching her videos. I don’t use her videos as often anymore unless I want to find some quick vocab words that I want to study because her content seems to be more geared towards beginner beginners. Her 한글 lessons are fast and easy and she makes it so you’re not getting overwhelmed with information at the start. She helped me a lot with pronunciation and with 받침! (last consonant in the Korean syllable… 받침 is still lowkey my greatest enemy)
Minji Teaches Korean 민지 티치 코리안
I’ve only personally used one of her videos but she gives a lot of examples and she explains very well. Minji seems to reach out to different levels of Korean, but I mainly see beginner lessons. She also hasn’t posted in 5 months… but she’s still a great creator that I recommend checking out!
Websites
TTMIK
TTMIK is my main learning source. I feel like everyone knows about this website, but it’s genuinely such a good resource for Korean. The only downside is that it focuses on grammar and rarely gives new vocabulary so, you kind of have to go out of your way to find vocab to study, but I don’t quite mind because it means I can decide what topics I want to learn. (they do have a YouTube channel in which they post like “500 must know Korean vocab” videos) TTMIK also has pretty affordable textbooks and workbooks. I personally don’t use them because I feel like I can learn Korean fine without spending money on a textbook but if you’re one of those people who like having a physical workbook/textbook, I’ve heard excellent things about their books!
HowtostudyKorean
This website is another well known one. I don’t usually use this website because I don’t like how disorganized it is, and I don’t personally understand the explanations. They also don’t teach 존댓말 (formal language) right off the bat and I personally believe that it’s beneficial to learn 존댓말 as a beginner due to how important it is in Korean culture. However, that’s just personal beliefs and preferences. They supply a really good amount of vocab to learn in each lesson and I really appreciate that.
I think that both TTMIK and HTSK are excellent websites and it’s truly up to personal preference as to which one you use!
Apps
Quizlet
Quizlet is one of the best vocab studying apps that I’ve tried. A while ago they added a subscription which is really annoying so the only thing you can really do it’s like flash card things and matching games?? It definitely downgraded the app but I can understand 😅
Drops
Drops is a very fun app for me. It helps with vocab studying so much. You can only use it for like 5 minutes a day unless you pay for a subscription, but even those 5 minutes a day are super useful. They have different topics such as Food, Numbers, Colors, K-pop, Daily routine, etc… It has other languages, too, so if you aren’t learning Korean or are learning other languages, you can choose to use Drops in your other target language! (They currently have over 40 languages if I remember correctly)
Naver Papago - AI Translator
I know there’s a lot of stigma around translators, but Papago is a dictionary based translator. I don’t know if that’s that correct term or what not, but basically, if you type in a sentence and translate it into Korean, it not only gives you the translation but also breaks down the words used in the sentence and gives further sample sentences with those words. I find this very fun and useful, and so far, Papago has been very accurate. (Just please don’t rely on Papago or any other translator if you’re genuinely learning a language, trust me 🙏)
DeepL Translate
Unlike Papago, DeepL translates sentences like how you would say them in an actual conversation. Additionally, it adds different ways to say everything you translate. The only downside is that the app doesn’t really explain anything you see in the sentence. As I said, Papago breaks down the sentences and gives you different examples as to how to use the words, and you can see different conjugations… etc. It really depends on personal preference as to which one you wanna use, they’re both great apps.
Langblr Blogs
a pop of korean
I personally love this blog especially to review after I’ve gone over things in TTMIK and even after I watch Miss Vicky. The explanations are incredibly easy for me to understand and the examples given are really clear for me.
dreamer hangugeo
I actually just recently found this blog but I really enjoy the explanations they give, too. I’m literally always scrolling through A Pop of Korean and Dreamer Hangugeo when I need a quick refresher or if I need clearance on something. It’s definitely worth checking these blogs out if you haven’t already.
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speed-seo · 5 months
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Visitor Attention Spans Optimisation List For Better Website Engagement!
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With more competition online than ever before businesses need to prioritize user engagement by recognizing how technology has affected our attention spans. While some may mock claims about goldfish having longer attention spans than humans- even if recent studies debunked this myth- one thing is clear: internet use has changed how we consume information and perceive time. To stand out among competitors online requires website optimization strategies such as integrating visuals (graphics and videos) utilizing easy to use interfaces via tabs or buttons instead of links for navigation purposes all while utilizing white space to strategically direct users' eyes. As consumers, we have become accustomed to having information at our fingertips and expect quick results. If you want your marketing efforts for your product or website or even your pitch for an idea to be successful- then knowing how best to grab people’s attention is half the battle won. What is the Attention Span of humans? The attention span of an individual refers to the duration for which they can focus on a single task without getting sidetracked by other thoughts or distractions. Attention is a key element in any successful marketing strategy - after all, you can't sell your product or service if nobody is paying attention! But with the average human attention span hovering between just 8 and 12 seconds, capturing and holding onto your audience's interest can be a daunting task. What is a Short attention span, for example? This is a good example of attention span; The power of attraction and holding someone's attention cannot be underestimated. It was evident when a man glanced at an ad while talking to a beautiful girl. However, the real challenge lies in engaging the person for long enough so that your message sticks with them and prompts them to act on it. In the world of marketing, keeping an audience engaged is key. This passage offers up tips that are both practical and easily digestible, providing a roadmap for how to hold someone's attention for longer than a mere second. What is a shorter attention span? As technology advances at lightning speed, our ability to focus appears to be dwindling at an alarming rate. According to Times a research made by Microsoft over two decades ago, the average person had an attention span of 12 seconds - but today, that number has dropped down significantly. Online users now have an attention span shorter than even a goldfish - just eight seconds! This means marketing professionals and content creators must work tirelessly to create high-quality material and ensure it immediately captures the viewer's interest. Fortunately, there are various strategies to overcome this challenge. By tapping into the latest trends producing eye-catching visuals, and focusing on captivating storytelling, businesses can still create content that resonates with their audience. Check the video below for a general overview of attention span: https://youtu.be/hDOKX-umAJQ What is Attention Span | Explained in 2 min Attention Span Research - Shortened Attention Span? When it comes to marketing in today's fast-paced digital world, where everyone seems to have a million tabs open at all times - capturing someone's interest can seem like a daunting task! A recent article by Psychologist Today sheds light on the impact the pandemic and constant screen time are having on our already dwindling ability to stay focused. But fear not! According to CNN, "Your attention span is shrinking, studies say. Here’s how to stay focused" The key then is knowing how to hook your audience early so they don't switch tabs. Recent studies show that if you can keep people's attention past the initial 7-10 second mark, they're likely to stay on your website for up to 17 minutes! Reason for Attention Span Shortened Our modern digital landscape is undeniably fast paced - information comes at us from all sides; notifications pop up constantly; news cycles run 24/7. It can feel like we're always on high alert ready to jump from one task or source of stimulation onto another. But according to Dr Nick Morgan, PhD, the issue isn't necessarily that our collective attention spans are shrinking - rather than have disappeared entirely due to these factors. Instead he suggests much of the problem lies with how we consume media today: with so many different stimuli competing for our focus simultaneously, it can be difficult (if not impossible) to remain fully present and engaged with any one task or activity for an extended period of time. For businesses seeking to make an impact online this reality presents a considerable challenge. How do you capture the attention of visitors to your site and keep them engaged while also providing valuable content? One approach is to keep things simple and straightforward in terms of your messaging. Avoid using overly complex language or jargon that can quickly turn off readers. Instead focus on clear concise statements that convey your message in a way that's easy to understand. Another key strategy is to incorporate eye catching visuals like graphics or videos into your website design wherever possible . These types of media can help break up longer blocks of text, making it easier for people to consume and digest information. Finally be sure to optimize your site for mobile devices so that users can easily access your content via their smartphones or tablets. This is especially important given the increasing number of people who rely on these devices as their primary means of accessing the internet. By taking these steps and focusing on creating a seamless user experience you can improve engagement levels among visitors to your site while boosting loyalty over time! What is your attention span? As individuals, our attention span only lasts for approximately 8 seconds. During this brief moment, our brain processes information and retains it as a memory. Therefore when attempting to engage with website users it is important to keep messages brief and easy to understand. How can you do that? Selling products or services through an online platform comes with its own set of challenges- one of which is capturing the user's interest amidst all the noise on the internet. But worry not because we have some tips for making sure you get noticed! One of them involves highlighting specific images or text portions that are important in communicating value propositions effectively. While there are numerous creative ways to achieve this goal using contextual cues such as incorporating subtle elements like cutlery besides fruit images has proved successful in grabbing users' attention without being too pushy. Remember- keeping things simple yet effective should always be your top priority while designing your website. Making Your Website More Attention Grabbing The world of marketing can be overwhelming when you’re just starting out. Nonetheless crafting gripping content is crucial for achieving success. Enticing traffic to your website and keeping them engaged demands delivering something intriguing and valuable. To accomplish this goal, it's wise to ponder over the following 10 elements: - Offer valuable content. - Use images, videos, infographics and other visual aids to make your site more attractive. - Create a layout that is easy to navigate. - Your headings must catch the eye. - Important information should always be above the fold. - The value offered must be found immediately by your visitors. - Call-to-actions buttons must be used logically. - Use eye-catching graphics. - Always use enough white space or free space. - Arouse the interest of your visitors. In order to help you understand how enhancing your website could augment visitors’ focus span lets explore each of these elements in detail. 1. Offer rich quality content: Modern marketing depends heavily on one key principle: capturing your audience's interest quickly and effectively. This maxim extends not only to traditional methods but also to search engine optimization (SEO). Our society nowadays has an extremely limited attention span because there's so much information competing for space in our minds. Poor quality content - whether it comes in the form of images or articles - only exacerbates this issue by failing to hold people's attention beyond a few passing moments. Consequently, its incumbent upon creators alike must ensure that they create meaningful and engaging materials which immediately capture visitors' interests. 2. Use images, videos, infographics and other visual aids to make your site more attractive: Crafting engaging content may seem like a straightforward task - until you realize just how many factors go into making something truly successful! From understanding modern marketing strategies to knowing exactly who your target audience is, there are many pieces of the puzzle that must fit together just right if you want readers' eyes glued to the page (or screen). With that in mind, it's crucial to always stay informed about the latest industry trends and best practices. What works today may no longer be effective next month, so you need to be nimble and adaptable. Remember: brevity is key! Get your message across clearly and concisely to keep readers engaged from start to finish. 3. Create a layout that is easy to navigate: Gone are the days when desktop computers were our only option for browsing content – thanks to smartphones and tablets! Yet these convenient gadgets have caused us some trouble: namely, lower attention spans. But don't lose heart just yet! You can enhance user engagement by crafting an intuitive website design that streamlines navigation. When users feel empowered to find what they need easily on their phones/tablets, it's likely that their interest will remain piqued for longer periods of time. 4. Your headings must catch the eye: Your landing page headlines are like a virtual handshake with readers – they set the tone for what follows. So it's critical that your headlines grab attention quickly. Keep them snappy - ideally five words or less (aside from the intro). Here are seven tips to help you optimise your headlines and boost engagement: - Give your headline the same importance as your page title. - Keep your headlines short and concise. - Include a call to action for your readers, e.g. "read more" or "learn more". - Do not be afraid to use subheadings to break up the text. - Use meaningful words in your headings. - Use words that convey a feeling in your headings. - Capitalise H2 headings if this makes sense based on the design of your page. 5. Important information should always be above the fold: Whenever someone visits your website, it's crucial that they're able to quickly spot any important details, such as exclusive offerings or limited-time deals, before navigating away from it. Make sure this key information remains visible as users scroll down by placing it above the fold - aka. The hero section, which encompasses everything visible upon landing on a webpage. 6. The value offered must be found immediately by your visitors: It's important not to confuse this with our earlier fifth point; although they share some similarities there are notable differences between them. What we mean by optimizing website layout is making sure users remain interested and invested during their visit. Ultimately what you want is for users to find what they're looking for quickly and efficiently - so every area of your webpage should introduce or further elaborate on what makes it worth visiting in order worth a users attention span. The footer is no exception to this rule. 7. Call-to-actions buttons must be used logically: Effective website design requires capturing visitors' attention immediately by highlighting key offers and services and explaining company branding and its services. Visitors should not have to click around aimlessly; instead, strategically placed call-to-action (CTA) buttons should guide them through their site journey. For example, offering various options like filling out a contact form via phone or email is an effective way of using CTAs wisely while giving visitors convenience as well as choice. It's important to enhance CTA visibility by using contrasting colours too. Research reveals that people can only retain up to three things at once: therefore, having a variety of designs makes A/B testing effective. 8. Use eye-catching graphics: Want to make your website stand out from the crowd? One simple way is by adding compelling images that really pop. Studies suggest that sharp, colourful visuals are far more likely to capture people's attention than bland or uninspired ones – after all, our eyes love vibrant hues, striking contrasts, and dynamic motion. But it doesn't stop there: research has shown that images with emotional impact – whether they portray joy or fury – can further entice visitors and encourage them to explore your site further. If you're curious about this topic (and why wouldn't you be?), dive into the full study here. Effect of Emotional Facial Images on Perceptions of News Content Bias and Source Credibility in Social Media 9. Always use enough white space or free space: The impactfulness of any website depends largely on how much thought has been given towards creating a peaceful and composed visual landscape which encourages users to remain focused on relevant information without unnecessary distractions. Presenting a cluttered or frenetic web page could indicate disarray, which may lead prospective clients or readers astray from exploring beyond the home page itself! Therefore, employing plentiful amounts of white space, which imparts feelings of calmness through minimalism, helps reinforce attention in desired areas while resonating aesthetically with current design trends. 10. Arouse the interest of your visitors: To attract and retain your web visitors, it's crucial to captivate their interest and curiosity with captivating information on each webpage. Be it new content or special deals, ensure your website offers something worthwhile. Stale or irrelevant content can drive visitors away, so regularly updating your website with fresh news is necessary. These are the ten best practices when it comes to keeping your visitors interested: - Offer exclusive content that is not offered anywhere else, e.g. videos or articles that cannot be found anywhere else on the internet. - Have a good design with an attractive layout and use the right colours. - Use eye-catching headlines and captions that summarise the content. - Offer your visitors new information regularly, e.g. by publishing a blog post or a newsletter. - Change your layout frequently to keep it interesting. - Create an interactive experience with polls, quizzes, competitions and other fun activities for the whole family. - Use pop-up windows with information about the article you are reading. - Offer an active live chat on your website so visitors can talk to you and other visitors. - Offer a multilingual option so visitors can read your content in their native language. - Display your social networks, e.g. Facebook and Twitter. Determines how many minutes your website visitors' attention span lasts Maximizing visitor attention spans requires an understanding of how long they typically stay on your website. By accessing Google Analytics, you can easily uncover this information and start optimizing accordingly. A greater number of minutes spent on your site indicates higher engagement levels and better overall performance. Here's how to find out exactly how long visitors are sticking around: - Log into Google Analytics and click on the property you would like to analyse. - On the left-hand side of your screen, click Audience > Overview. - Scroll down until you reach the "Avg Session Duration" section. Averaging less than two minutes, low session durations point to a lack of visitor attention and interest. To prevent losing out on potential conversions, websites need to prioritize engagement optimization. Long Attention Span: A Step-By-Step Guide. Does the idea of enhancing your website's attention span seem overwhelming and confusing? Fear not, as we have just what you need - a comprehensive list of steps to take: Step one: Effective marketing articles demand an enthralling topic at its core. It's imperative to pick something that hooks in readers right from the start. A great way of doing this is by selecting a subject matter close to your heart - like your favourite hobby- as people are often drawn in by others' passions and interests. This way, they will likely continue reading with keen interest until the end of the piece. Step two: Why Your Hobby Might Be the Key to a Killer Headline It's no secret that titles matter – they're often what draw readers in (or turn them away). But coming up with one that stands out can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. That's why it can be helpful to start by focusing on something close to home: your hobby. Whether you're into cooking or mountain biking, or bird watching, using that as the foundation of your headline will give people an immediate reason to check out what you have to say. As marketing guru Jay Baer advises: "Make sure headlines are specific and highly relevant." Step three: Write a short paragraph describing what you are going to write about. The opening lines of any piece can be daunting - they have to set the tone for everything that follows and capture your reader's interest right off the bat. Step four: Whether or not readers continue on with an article often depends on its opening sentence making it a critical component of any piece. This is how crucial your article introduction is for your blog articles. Do not ignore the fact that a great introduction will also make your readers return to your website. Step five: Effective Marketing forms one cornerstone upon which any successful business must always rest on its laurels. By making efforts to understand what their customers desire- companies can then create products/services tailored specifically to their needs. However, as customers are exposed to a vast array of new products and services each day, organizations must look beyond just the bare product and create a unique selling point that demonstrates why they should choose your product over competitors. In this essay on marketing, we will explore what is commonly known in the industry as the four Ps of Marketing: Problem Identification, Promise formulation, Proof establishment- by providing evidence for benefits delivery or need satisfaction - and Proposal creation. Each of these elements forms an integral aspect of building an effective marketing strategy capable of winning over new customers by providing value that speaks directly to their pain points. Step six: It isn't easy running a business; there's never-ending work involved! But at least one thing is clear: without successful marketing campaigns, the competition will quickly get ahead, leaving your firm behind in dust. However, marketing today has grown beyond basic selling techniques often used traditionally; few other fields have evolved as rapidly as this domain has recently. Marketing requires researching customer behaviour patterns in detail to utilize this information effectively enough while creating captivating campaigns using creative approaches that resonate well with consumers. Of course, catching people's attention is just the start; a successful marketing campaign must be able to influence their decision-making process. Recently digital marketing has exploded in popularity, enhancing marketing campaigns further through various social media channels. Read the full article
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socialmediaupdatesnow · 6 months
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What I learned from being a marketing influencer; More Failures! (2023)
To give context; I work in social media marketing, and being a marketer + influencer at the same time helped me a lot.
Some of you may be familiar with my posts in this community about “what happened in marketing”.
1/ Content isn’t about value.
I was also like all the marketing gurus saying producing valuable content is the key. No, it’s not, true on both the influencer and marketing sides.
Valuable Content is undisrupted, it’s only feeding your audience more dosage of dopamine. It’s like after a while an addict forgets the difference between good vs bad sh*t.
It’s all about behavioural tracking, your job is to know your audience and then use metaphors, subjects to bring them to your brand story.
Spoiler Alert; I failed at this, I was so deep into give them more value stuff. The audience forgot how to value future products & launches.
That’s why I believe it’s important to do the math of your valuable content to know where your audience is headed.
2/ Escape Strategy
Most influencers have an escape strategy after the virality is gone. They will either choose formats & niches that last long. Ex- Beauty Tips, Fitness, cooking & Fashion.
Kind of goes the same for influencers in marketing. For longevity you have to transform into Speakers and LinkedIn influencers. I didn’t, A mistake from Money POV.
If you ask the audience, they want the influencer to stay the same. But to get paid, influencer marketers demand formats because It’s still a young space filled with many beginners.
To a huge extent, Influencer marketing is 99.9% video marketing. Because who’s tracking influence? Unless you trust & understand the influencer.
3/ User Behaviour; F**k man.
I do think you can stop growing as a influencer or marketer on apps like LinkedIn or Instagram. The Algorithm is designed to only bring Yes, Yes to your content.
And Platforms like Reddit & Twitter, even TikTok can demotivate you. But you should learn from critics and trolls. Ignore trolls and appreciate critics as much as you can.
But the biggest lesson was how the behavior changes when the same follower of yours on Reddit moves to Instagram. Anonymity changes behaviour, people act different.
UI/UX changes user behaviour, which in exchange helps or impacts the sales growth of a business. I wish I had the resources to experiment more & survey creators.
4/ Are Influencers overpaid?
I use a factor called “audience fatigue”, it is simple. Everytime an influencer promotes something that audience buys into, the audience goes into fatigue and needs time to recover for next promotion.
Internet moves fast, the audience consumes a lot. The audience grows out of fatigue, just look at the latest Tube Girl. More than 10-20 collaborations in past 2-3 weeks.
I use it, most marketers don’t. Influencers aren’t overpaid but the budgets are structured wrong to lead marketers to hell.
In 2023, This quote; Any type of exposure is good exposure doesn’t apply. Any type of exposure isn’t exposure at all on social media. It’s like a wind, Gone in milliseconds.
Brands should structure influencers into three categories:
Demand Influencer; The ones answering questions and raising discussions. Choose them for purposeful marketing. Pay: $$
Trend Born Influencers; These were born from a trend, use them for integration marketing. Be early to partner with them. Pay: $
Residents of Social; Long-time influencers, these are expensive but best for product launches. Pay: $$$
Small Thoughts;
Influencers build up their own word of mouth and branded search. Like I did with my newsletter, but not a single brand expect Ahrefs mentioned they were trying to build WOM.
Follower counts & engagement is becoming more and more of a vanity metric as users consume more content. The idea of engagement is changing.
It doesn’t start a creating better content, you need to create basic content too for authority and niche building.
PS; feel free to ask me anything about influencer marketing and state of B2B influencers.
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mermaidsirennikita · 2 years
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Fuck. They worked so hard to get HBO MAX to be the next big thing, a true contender to stand out from all others and this penny pincher is going to burn it all down?
Other companies are going to see this. They might be worried because a failure can reflect badly on everyone else. But maybe they will reach out to everyone who's getting screwed over, even copy and perfect what the mission was.
I wonder who will do it first. My money is on Disney. Netflix if they feel desperate enough to risk it.
If peacock does though, then we'll definitely know it's game over.
Seeee, y'all trash the 'cock, but it's actually doing kinda well lol. They started out with that free ad tier, which tbh??? Kinda is a great way to lure people into paying for the ad tier with more content, because it's so fucking cheap. Whereas Netflix started without ads, is getting progressively more expensive while pissing people off, and will be introducing a tier with ads, and Disney+ has introduced an adless platform and now you'll have to downgrade to save money and watch ads. As much as I don't love ads, I think setting realistic expectations and going from there is smarter in the long term.
Plus, they've actually been investing in interesting content that has kinda gone under the radar, but suggests that they have good taste and can expand as the big guys fuck up. Girls 5Eva is fucking hilarious and well-received critically, The Resort has been a really interesting mystery I see people getting drawn into in a sleeper hit sense (again, critically well-received), Dr. Death suffered from an excess of Alec Baldwin but was otherwise good and timely, and opened up the opportunity for an anthology which they're taking... They have The Best Man: The Final Chapters coming, which is going to satisfy a fandom that has been waiting for a conclusion for years (and has proven that they're willing to come back in droves and pay to see the content a decade later). I think the 'cock could ultimately end up winning big. They're just slow and steady wins the raise, which tbh??? May be good, if the issue with Netflix is that they went too big too fast.
And while, who knows, prices will probably go up, Peacock starts out so cheap that you can still set it and forget it. I upgraded from the free tier to watch the Olympics. Then I just didn't notice it (the way I'd notice things like Hulu and Netflix) and they actually started doing things I liked. There's some logic to that.
Disney and Netflix seem most likely to go in for the carcass of HBO Max, because Disney is big and a fucking machine, and Netflix is desperate for good press. However, Prime has the Amazon money and Hulu has actually been doing pretty well for itself, though it's not very flashy. Apple also has a lot of money, though I find their programming largely dull with some exceptions (Loot). The thing is that as good creators feel betrayed or unsure about WB, everyone else should court them hard.
We'll see!
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inthelittlewood · 2 years
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Over the years as a content creator, how have you adapted with the changing platform?
As well as the rise, decline, and rejuvenation of minecraft?
Was it hard?
Honestly, my channel very nearly died out at one point because I'm a stubborn bugger!
My channel was born from Minecraft but I soon felt the pinch, much like everybody else where new maps and mod experiences entered a dry spell and my peers all had their established groups, deeply entrenched in whatever SMP they had going. So I was just nearby, floating on my own little rock. Between that and the pressures of being PG in all my content, I needed to diversify my game roster and loosen the reins a little for my own sanity.
The variety period of my channel was really fun but it really highlighted the cold hard fact that YouTube was evolving in to a single topic success store, but that just wasn't for me. I'd rather have transitioned out the industry enjoying my final days as opposed to getting caught in a one game rut. I was doing radio before this and I was confident I could return to it.
This went on for a while, to slowly declining numbers. When I reached the 1.3m subscriber mark, it all screeched to a halt and I plateaued HARD!
In late 2018 / early 2019 my channel was almost dead. Yogscast were floating me some months when CPM (ad money) was low and I'd pay them back on stronger months, I'm eternally grateful for that. I resorted to making a Patreon and told myself I'd only do it for a set period and if it was still a dependency by the end of that time, I'd close up shop. I was looking to get married, have a kid and I needed more stability then aaaaall of a sudden, BOOM, one of the games in my roster blew up. Fortnite, and not even at the beginning of its life either. This was nearly 2 years in to Battle Royale.
My stubbornness had paid off for once. Others were hiding 30 seconds of info in 10 minute videos to get pre-roll advertisements and I was NEVER going to do that.. Mine were 50 seconds: "Hey how ya doing, here's your info, catch ya later" and people respected that. Fast forward to now and that's still my main bread winner, it's nuts.
Is it creatively fulfilling? No. Does it pay the bills and keep sponsors happy, heck yeah!
I stayed active in the Minecraft scene via streaming, cameos in other people's content and was in good standing with Mojang (so much so that I got to host Minecon Live, that was fun!! Remember the first Grid Runners map?).
I dabbled in casual speedrunning and was there for the Minecraft Championship's inception which I snapped at the chance at to play in as I'd championed the Noxcrew's work since 2012. So in a weird way, it feels like my stubbornness and commitment to quality didn't go unnoticed by the current leaders in the field. Those middle patches of MCYT weren't for me, the 'lets be a group of creators and by an empty mansion, leaning our gold plaque against the wall on the floor next to our 2 pairs of sneakers' and going uber kid friendly or entering roleplay wasn't appealing to me.
This new wave of Minecraft through.. Where improv comedy and a little bit of skill are praised. This is where I'm meant to be. I'd demonstrated all these skills through projects like the ADVENTure and the Noxcrew Gameshow but they were in some ways, a little too ahead of their time. I just had to survive long enough to be here for the right 'phase'.
3L/LL has breathed life in to my 'second channel' which, let's be honest, is my Minecraft channel, calling it second isn't fair and MCC springs my name up to the new gen. Creators blowing up now might have watched me as kids or other OGs will give a knowing nod but I certainly still feel like I'm floating in the aether not knowing juuuust quite where I fit in, similarly to before. I'm sure it's partly imposter syndrome but also my lack of commitment to the game for 4/5 years will be why I feel this pinch.
So that's my next goal, finding a new MC space to call home, being a stubborn fuck as always and pushing myself creatively. Let's see how it goes
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theblogtini · 3 years
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"Did you ever think that their fall from grace would be as fast as this"
So when they first got married, had everything worked out great, they probably would've stopped dominating headlines, being in the news 24/7 like they were, when George went to university because then he would be reported on like crazy, just like with William. So about 12-13 years and it wouldn't have been a "fall from grace," just a "everyone likes them but they just aren't the most reported on now" like Edward and Sophie.
When they stepped back in January, I assumed that this timeline would be pushed forward a few years, so maybe 8 years or so? When they announced Netflix and Spotify, I thought that would be their way of staying relevant because COVID had shown that they weren't able to do so without being royal. And it still wouldn't have been a "fall from grace."
Now though, I would say they would be lucky if this doesn't happen by the end of next year. And that's the latest I would push it, honestly thinking it will be end of this year. The people have gotten all the drama they're going to get. So they don't care.
Looking back, I have no idea why they did the Oprah interview how they did it. Not what they said, (well, telling the truth would've been better bc then the press has less to object to, but then it wouldn't have been a very interesting interview) but why they didn't come out with podcasts and Netflix news. The world has a pretty short attention span and you HAVE to capitalize on it. Had they released content or launched a social media there would have been VERY different results for them and the BRF. But they pretty much just did the interview and disappeared (while the royals kept on carrying on) until Philip died (which made H/M look terrible bc it was obviously not unexpected- and gave the RF a lot of support) and then Harry did Dax and Oprah, which honestly weren't good looks for them. And then they named their kid for the Queen (which left people's heads spinning) and then disappeared again.
And we aren't supposed to get Netflix content anytime soon. They don't even have a set title or content director for the animated program. The recycled Invictus doc is about the May (?) 2022 games so filming for that won't wrap until at least next summer, with post-production the absolute earliest it could be released would be early 2023. This is why they NEED to use Spotify in the meantime. Maybe his book could give them something but it's not going to be released until next fall and I'm not sure how much support they're going to have then. People just kind of think he's spoiled and annoying.
IMO, New York/TIME was supposed to be their big relaunch, look at how much news we've gotten in the weeks since. But they are too late. And I (meanly) am wondering how they are handling the hard truth that is The Crown Always Wins Against Spoiled Brats.
Every single thing you said! The complete lack of content is mind-boggling. Like... they are being paid to be content creators these days, that's the ONLY thing they're actually being paid for - and none of it is landing anytime soon. You would think since they spent so much time plotting their exit they would have had some shit in the works. And why - WHY - is there nothing on Spotify? We know the two of them adore the sound of their own voices, so why are they having so much trouble with the podcast... I mean FFS I never was a princess who lived in a palace and traveled the world and was a Hollywood actress who is best friends with Oprah, Amal Clooney, and Serena Williams but I could come up with enough interesting shit to say to fill an episode a day if someone was paying me millions of dollars. FFS I could probably find enough interesting stuff to say if someone was paying me attention, nevermind money 🤣
But also I agree. The NY thing was supposed to be a "re-launch" -- a "look hey remember us, we're ROYAL" but as you said, too little too late. No one cares anymore. There was zero context behind the visit and it made no sense - it was just so weird.
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straighttohellbuddy · 3 years
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how the light gets in {Corpse Husband}
2. you’ve gone way too fast for way too long.
Summary: Supernatural Creatures AU. Them/Them Reader. After the success of your first stream, you find yourself wanting to get back to your YouTube roots, and what better way to do that than with a cover by one of the bands who holds a special place in your heart? And maybe you’re using it to distract yourself from thinking about how coming back to YouTube means coming back to the things - the people - you’d left behind. 
Maybe it’s selfish, but Corpse kind of wishes you hadn’t come back to YouTube; honestly, if anyone else had taken the world by storm, he wouldn’t complain half as much, except it’s you and he’s still mostly convinced that you might be an angel like him... Except better. Because of course you would be a better angel, you’re talented and driven and personable and essentially everything an angel should be, and - bar the talented bit, Corpse at least knows some of his worth - you’re everything he’s pretty sure he’s not. Except it seems like everyone loves you, and he doesn’t exactly have a good enough reason to be bothered by you the way he is, so he has to act like he isn’t. Which is a lot easier said than done, when you barely say a word to him and it feels like all of his suspicions are confirmed. 
A/N: 8471 words. Reader in the fic is stated to be 24. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SUPERNATURAL THE TV SERIES. me, trying to walk the line between 3rd person omniscient narrator and trying to make the narration feel like its somewhat coming from the POV character?? it’s more likely than you think! as always, i really appreciate feedback.
{ m a s t e r l i s t }
Taglist: @nanasort @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @theboywhocriedlupin @taikalinna @jaychirps @bingusmode @divine-artemis @realmejay @lovemelikepercy @balla-deer @miniritzcrackers @loraleiix @ppopty @easygoingtheatre @insanedeathwish @siriuslystupid @losvertown @janiathecat @wineandionysus @moonlightsimp @allylyew @chokingonflxwers @sicnesa @xxniksxx @mishisamess @preciousskye @yashinosakura @meleekabenjamin @whatamievendoinghere01 @lxurxn-02 @liljennyx3 @the-fusionist @benjaminka @lilysdaydreams @a-lonely-bic @letsloveimagines @melmachh @tama-chan-suneater @shio-yuki @fairywriter-oracle @easygoingtheatre @pixelbxtch @dreammoutlouddd @abysshaven @mediocrearistophanes @tsukishimawh0re @inkbyajm @jordiee95 @honkcorpse @kaiihaan @takenbyheartstrings @mrtony-stank1 @dangeroustreebread @xibrokensunriseix @corpseglider @artsyally @ellsbells2143 @machine-gun-casie @marvelsmurphy @bigmac-papi @danielle143 @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @starstruckllamapuppy @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @fee-btheweeb @parkerpeanuts @fanfictionenthusiast @evans-dejong @pancakebinnie @minbunbun @sabrinarahaman @thefangirl05 @jades-bullshit @fo-love @roses-and-grasses @thirstyfangirl @lovelysmp @325575 @wrongcielo @lukathecrime @lunariasilver @delicrieux @rebloogggs @kookiesandtae7 @mizxkii @effielumiere @happyyyandcrazyyy @teenageguitarist @prettylittlealiengirl @aroyalharknessblr @kylie-writes-stuff @annshit @haunteddeputymugpersona 
taglist is always open! message me if you’d like to be added xx
----
The day after your song drops, it’s on Spotify’s Top 50 Viral playlist, it’s charting on iTunes, it’s splattered across the internet, according to your manager, who sees fit to text you, congratulating you on what she assumed to be a masterful marketing tactic; releasing the song and immediately streaming alongside huge YouTube creators who have a wide and diverse fanbase, all plugging your music. She thinks it was a carefully calculated move, which makes you feel all kinds of scummy, like you were using your new friends. Thankfully, when you fire a somewhat defensive response about how you had no ulterior motive, that all you wanted to do was have fun and make friends, your tone apparently reads loud and clear, as you receive an apology a few moments later. Backtracking, she simply mentions that, even unintentionally, you had great timing, and she’s glad you had a good time, which is better, and you try not to dwell on your initial assumption. Years of your life had been spent worrying that the people you were close to just thought you were using them for views or fame; her words did little to quell that worry, so instead you tried to distract yourself, or at the very least, focus on the good that yesterday had brought about.
The best, of course, was Sykkuno, the hellhound who’d endeared himself to you almost immediately. Something about him makes you feel safe, though perhaps it’s that you’re unused to someone feeling so familiar; you like to think you’re a good judge of character, so for now, you’re trusting in your instincts, trusting in Sykkuno. The next best thing was a tie, between friends and freedom. Yesterday you’d been doing what you wanted to do, not what you thought you should be doing, not what was on brand, or carefully scripted; you were messy, stumbled over your words, and you laughed and deceived your friends as was the aim of the game, it was so freeing to be unfiltered. People kept saying it was nice to see you smile, to hear you laugh again. Huh. Part of you really doesn’t like that you know exactly what they mean, and more importantly, why people are saying that at all. But things are different now, are freer now; your brand was built on you, it’s nice to get back to that.
By mid-morning, you’d been sprawled out on your sofa for almost an hour, glad to be alone, to not have to worry about being seen, as you’ve phased your tail back into reality, and have it holding up your phone as you scroll through Twitter with one hand and fidget idly with the other. More and more you’re seeing supportive comments from people gushing about the few bars you’d sung of 5 Seconds of Summer’s Youngblood on stream yesterday. First your chat had loved it, now it seems the general consensus was that people would love for you to cover more than a few bars. While you tried not to listen too much to what other people wanted, you couldn’t help but admit that it was something you definitely wanted too.    
When you text your manager, new idea already taking hold of your focus, your earlier unsavoury text conversation seemingly forgotten, your manager reminds you that you should be working on your new album, putting together the tracklist for your EP. Ugh. 
It’s not that you didn’t have ideas, quite the opposite; you’re exploding with ideas, brimming, overflowing with them, for songs you wants to write and feelings you can’t express any other way, but the songs and collaborations you’ve already completed, their mp4 files sitting neatly on your desktop, you wanted to save them for the full album, like it was some sort of penance for getting to collaborate, getting to become friends with people you looked up to, people who inspired you. To you, their contribution was worthy of your full album. 
Well, that was part of the reason, the other part was that the songs you had designated for the album had a different vibe to your EP songs; albumtouralbumtour and imposter syndrome had both been written in lockdown, about very specific concerns you were having at the time. The EP was shaping up to capture a very specific moment in time, while the album was so much more than that. You couldn’t put read at five am on the EP, the collaboration you’d done with Troye, a lyrical-lament with a dissonant, upbeat melody, an apology for when you’re the one who cuts off contact with someone you’re close to and don’t know how to say why, and don’t know how to come back; yes, the fact that you and Ethan are talking again means that the song is technically relevant to this period of time, but it’s three years of regret and indirect apology compressed into in three minutes. It’s going on the album. 
But being stuck at home all day for months had made you all nostalgic for your roots, for when you’d started uploading all the way back in 2012, at 16, with no idea what a few videos would lead to. You missed covering songs you loved, the songs other people had written and that you had still connected with, the songs that made you want to write your own. Yes, you loved your own content, obviously, but from idea to video publishing, you knew a low-effort cover would take you maximum a day and a half if you were particularly inspired, which you clearly were. By now, you’d been doing this for so long that you knew the legality of it all like the back of your hand, and were in a stable enough place to be more than happy to pay royalties to the band you’d co-headlined alongside for your first international tour.
“What if I call the boys and ask them?” You decided to just call your manager directly, tail curled securely around your phone where you’d put her on speaker, pottering around your kitchen trying to find something to eat. Alison, on the other end of the line, sighed deeply, having been fielding these sorts of calls from you about once a fortnight since lockdown had started.
“Have you finished moment before impact yet?” She countered, and you wrinkle your nose; its as if she can hear the expression through the phone with the way she continues on, not giving you a moment to cut in, “listen, I won’t tell you what to do, but you need to make a decision about your EP tracklist soon, okay? The label’s breathing down my neck, you know you have more than enough songs for it.”
“Alison, the vibes -”
“The vibes, Y/N, I know,” she sighed deeply, but you could hear the faintest smile in her voice.
“I promise I’m working on my own stuff; I think moment before impact is gonna be a collab, but I’m not sure who with yet, but if it makes you happy, once I record this 5SOS thing, I’ll work on a demo of moment for the EP,” you concede, and you hear her hum in approval, “I promise I have all the songs in my head, I just gotta make sense of which ones are the right ones for now, you know?”
“I really don’t,” you could hear her actually smiling now, so you let yourself relax for a moment, hands braced on your kitchen counter as you looked to your phone, “but I suppose that’s why you’re the musical one and I’m the manager.”
“My favourite manager,” you told her sweetly, and her answering laugh is more of a snort. 
"Call the band, maybe they can work something out for you regarding royalties, if you plan to monetise it," she suggested, and you hummed, "keep me updated, okay? Make sure you're still working on your own stuff though."
"Alison you're a national treasure," you tell her feelingly; you don't even have to see her to know she's rolling her eyes.
But you take her advice, sending 'what if I covered Youngblood and posted it to YT? I'll pay you royalties' to the mostly dormant WhatsApp group you have with 5 Seconds of Summer, despite it being about six in the morning in Australia. Callum sends back a thumbs up almost immediately. Its all the confirmation you need to get started.
As you’re hunting through your house for a pick, turning over cushions, looking through junk drawers, you hear your phone go off, and you take a moment to check, surprised by what you see. A message from Sean. Huh.
[I see you’ve finally decided to join us in the gaming community, took you long enough 😊 If you ever wanna play something, just gimme a yell, you know Id be glad to have ya on my team.]
Considering the fact that it had been three years since you and Sean had properly been in contact, you find the message both surprising, and strangely heartwarming. There were a few people you’d purposefully fallen out of contact with, plagued by your own fears and self doubts. The people who you’d seen in person almost daily were the ones who you’d felt the absence of the most, but Sean, just by his close association with those people, along with a few other international friends, had been regretfully left behind also. Here and now, you can feel just how much you’ve missed him, how guilty you feel for giving in to your own anxieties and the negativity spewed by others. 
But you know you can’t dwell on the past, on your mistakes, all you can do is be grateful for the opportunity to reconnect, and take it.
[ID: A tweet and reply conversation between @yourtwitter and @goldeny/n, followed by a single tweet by @ZeRoyalViking, and a tweet and reply conversation between @yourtwitter, and @5SOS.
@yourtwitter: someone yell at me for doing another cover instead of my original stuff. quarantine got me feeling 17 again. might do the cinnamon challenge next. or finally do that Roast Yourself trend 4 years too late. | @golden_y/n: BRUH YOU BEST NOT BE PULLING OUR LEGS | @golden_y/n: I would empty my bank account to see you roast yourself. | @yourtwitter: Please Don't Do That YouTube Is Free | @golden_y/n: 😳💀💖
@ZeRoyalViking: stream today with some familiar and not so familiar faces!!
@yourtwitter posted an image of Griffin McElroy from the My Brother My Brother & Me TV show. Griffin is a Caucasian man wearing glasses and a blue checked shirt. He is visible from the chest up and is sitting behind a desk with one arm in front of him, with his thumb out, as if counting. The image’s subtitles have been edited, now reading ‘My friends are very much into the following: Bullying me on TikTok.’ | @yourtwitter: @luke5SOS is just mad im gonna sing his song better than him. he doesn’t use twitter anymore so i have the upper hand here. | @5SOS replies with a gif of Jason Momoa, who is incredibly muscular, with dark hair down to his shoulders, a black tank top, and sunglasses on, holding a microphone, standing in a confrontational manner, captioned ‘No, no, no. By all means, speak your mind. You got a problem with my boy?’ | @yourtwitter: HE WENT LIVE UNPROMPTED TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT HOW I WROTE NOTIMETOSLEEP IN THREE DAYS WITH NO ACTUAL SLEEP, OPENED FOR THEM IN ARIZONA, AND IMMEDIATELY PASSED OUT FOR 16 HOURS AFTER WALKING OFF STAGE | @5SOS: we just miss you tho... and it is kind of funny. | @yourtwitter: the minute im allowed to safely leave lockdown im coming to australia to german supplex the lot of you. ❤️
End ID.]
Corpse’s whole ‘not thinking about you’ plan goes down a lot smoother when you’re not actively stealing his friends- what kind of Angel goes around stealing another person - another Angel’s, no less - friends?! Except, right, he doesn't actually have proof that you're an angel, just a hunch he’s apparently committed to... and, okay, you don't know you're stealing them... Sykkuno and Rae are allowed to have more than one friend. Obviously.
"Honestly, I'm still kind of riding the high from yesterday's stream," Sykkuno’s all kinds of elated in the voice chat, and Rae's quick to chime in, matching his tone, his energy, as she agrees.
"I cannot believe Y/N played with us! I’m sorry you missed it, Corpse, I think you'd love them," Rae is adamant, to which Corpse, from behind the safety of his monitor, makes a face.
"What makes you say that?” Even as he says it, as he tries to keep the negativity from his voice, his nose wrinkles, the expression shifting his eyepatch just a little.
“I don’t know, just something about...” Rae’s voice turns thoughtful as she considers, though Sykkuno takes the chance to pipe up, voice brimming with his trademark sincerity.
“You guys have weirdly similar vibes, like kind of a similar energy?” He tries to explain before a faintly embarrassed laugh escaping him, even with Rae humming in agreement, “not the exact same, obviously, but like, I don’t know, I think you’d really like them.” The problem with having Sykkuno for a friend is that he’s almost always trying to be genuinely kind or helpful. The problem is that Corpse can tell he believes what he’s saying. 
An angelic ability that often goes overlooked, even by angels themselves, is the innate ability to tell whether or not someone’s lying. It’s like a faint buzzing, low grade tinnitus, at the sound of a lie, something that can actually be pretty effectively ignored and forgotten, but right now, the lack of buzzing with Sykkuno’s words is frankly irritating. Not that Corpse can say that, he has no real reason to be jealous of your fast forming friendships with his friends, well, not any reason he can admit to on stream.
"You know what,” Sean muses, finally joining the conversation, “It’s been a while since I properly spoke to them, but I totally get what you mean,” fucking great; of course he agrees, “did anyone invite them to play; would love to have them here if they’re up for it.” 
"I think they're working on a thing today, but I can message and ask?" It’s Sykkuno who speaks up, the barest hesitation in his voice, and to that Rae makes a proud little noise in the back of her throat. 
"You met yesterday on the stream that I organised, and suddenly you're all best buddies? Gonna be honest, I’m a little jealous,” she admits, to which Sykkuno huffs a soft laugh, uncertain of what to say, though Rae’s tone is fond and she continues on, “seriously though, good for you, dude, finally getting the recognition you deserve -"
And on the one hand, yes, Corpse would agree that Sykkuno deserved infinitely more recognition and praise than he currently received, but on the other, the speed at which you two had aparently become close - a day! It had been a day! - sets Corpse’s teeth on edge. It was all he could do to keep quiet as the others chimed in, all their sentiments mirroring Rae’s.
All this frustration and resentment was almost definitely unhealthy, he was more than aware, but something about you had fixed in his mind; if it had been anyone else, anyone less talented or personable or productive, he could have probably handled it, but you...
All he gets is two games worth of peace before Sykkuno announces that he’s gotten a reply. Aparently you’re in the middle of recording a cover. Something about knowing that fills Corpse with discomfort, with envy, like he should be working on his music instead of being here. 
"But they say they're gonna take a break in an hour or say, so they might join us for a few games," Sykkuno’s tone betrayed his bright smile, and suddenly the voice chat was flooded with excitement from almost all in attendance. 
"Wait, really? Just like that, we'll be playing with Y/N?" Leslie sounds disbelievingly hopeful, but thankfully it’s only a few moments until the next game beings. While none of the others had picked up on Corpse’s silence, his chat seemed confused. Purposefully ignoring their questions and comments on the matter, he instead gives a few comments on the game, trying to come off lighter than he was feeling. 
He’s not quite sure what he’s going to do if you join the stream, he’d never actually considered that he might one day talk to you, have to confront the person whose very existence got under his skin, who might very well be the only other person like him on this side of the world. Unsurprisingly, his head’s not in the game.
"Did you get enough sleep last night?” Rae feels the need to ask when whatever response he’d given in a meeting had just come out as an incoherent mumble. Of course he straight up laughs at her question, which is answer enough, and she clicks her tongue disapprovingly, “you’re impossible.”
“Have you drunk any water today -?”
“Sykkuno you’re dead,” Sean interrupts Sykkuno, who had broken one of the main rules of the game simply to question Corpse about his health; he’s far too caring for his own good, but moments like this make for good entertainment, “dead people can’t talk,” Corpse is grateful for all of five seconds before Sean turns on him, reiterating Sykkuno’s question like a traitor; “Corpse, have you drunk water today?” In lieu of a proper response, Corpse groans, playing at being annoyed.
“I say we vote him out because if he is the imposter, we win, and if he isn’t, he has time to go drink a glass of water,” Rae proposes matter-of-factly, which just leaves Corpse spluttering with disbelief.
“That’s fucking stupid; I’m not the imposter, you’re basically throwing the game -” but the votes are already popping up, and unfortunately, for the first time all stream, everyone seems to be in agreement.
“Drink water, Corpse,” Rae, clearly the leader of this mutiny, orders, as Corpse watches his character get flung into lava, and very begrudgingly heeds her words. He takes his sweet time drinking a full glass of water and refilling it to take back with him, intermittently glaring from his kitchen at his computer, despite the game still going on; he’s got several tasks left, if they don’t catch the imposters, they’re doomed, and honestly he doesn’t care. Once the game ends, with the crewmates’ loss, as he’d suspected, they all find themselves back in the lobby. Maybe they’re waiting for him. They can wait longer.
As he settles himself back into his office chair, he pulls on his headphones in time to hear -
“- earlier than I thought because of a whole thing on TikTok and then Twitter, and then my manager texted me telling me-” It’s like he’s turned twenty again at the sound of your voice; you, bright, earnest, rambling to probably Sykkuno or Sean or Rae, probably not even aware of him, but he’s never been more aware of you. Not that he’d ever admit it to anyone, but your second EP, hyperfocus, had been in heavy rotation on his Spotify since he’d discovered it, since he’d listened to the crack in your voice, the exhaustion with which you spoke on i’m going through some stuff when Lofi had just been taking off as a genre. He’s... conflicted, going through an internal crisis while you keep talking, blissfully unaware, “- anyways, I think she’s just worried that I’ll end up threatening to German Supplex Harry Styles, or the late, great, Prince, and I’ll end up cancelled.”
“Y/N,” your name sounds equal parts amused and concerned as Sykkuno says it, with the air of someone who’s been privy to you and your antics far longer than just one day. The response you give is just as bright and cheery as your rambling had been, assuring him that you wouldn’t threaten to German Supplex Prince.
“You sure about that?” Sean was obviously grinning, judging by his fond tone, “sounds like something you’d try -”
“I’ve changed, Jack- Sean- fuck,” your muttered swear undercuts your attempt at earnestness after you correct yourself, clearly not used to calling him by his actual name. To that, Sean gives a fond chuckle, before going right back to ribbing you.
“I’m pretty sure there’s still video evidence of you trying to square up with Mark in person,” Sean points out, to which you grow huffy and defensive, playing up your frustration. 
“Well, that was for a completely reasonable reason!”
“Which was?”
“I thought it would be funny,” tone flipping completely, the words come out so sincere and bright it’s almost tooth rotting; if he didn’t know any better, Corpse would probably find himself being endeared by it, “and it was! Plus,” though here you give pause, and something about the tone of the conversation shifts as you chew on the words you’d almost said without thinking, “it was funny,” you said, softer this time. Sean, sensing the shift, does his best to pick the mood back up, reminding you that both you and Mark lost the competition you’d been taking part in anyways, and asking if you really had changed.
Before you had time to answer, however, Rae spots Corpse’s avatar moving ever so slightly, and immediately jumps on him.
“Corpse! Did you drink water?” She asks. He unmutes so they can all hear his deep, beleaguered sigh. “I can and will bully you into taking care of yourself,” her heart’s in the right place, and it is mostly a bit, so he can’t be too put out by the fact that she cares.
“I can’t believe you all voted me out because of it,” he chooses to respond instead, and Rae’s cackle echoes through the voice call.
“She also was the imposter, so...” Ze trailed off, a little sheepishly, to which Corpse rolled his eyes, not that anyone can see. Of course she was. But he’s not even given a moments before -
“You must be Corpse!” The moment the words leave your lips, every single goddamn nerve in Corpse’s body feels like it’s alight; everything overwhelming, unfamiliar,. white-hot, he’s suddenly desperately trying to keep his various abilities in check, since he really doesn’t want to short out his whole system, end the stream early, and probably cause his building to go into a blackout, just because of whatever this is. The whole world has changed with four words; better and worse and more more than anything. It’s... it’s a confirmation of some kind, and he tries to hold onto that vindictive feeling in his chest. You are familiar, you are something he recognises like no-one else he’s ever met before; you are like him. Is it better or worse now he knows it’s the truth?
“Must I be?” He manages to respond, keeping his voice as level as he’s able, shooting for vaguely amused and trying not to let any of the past few seconds sudden overwhelming panic and triumph bleed into his voice. But the moment you hear him, there’s a sharp gasp; that same something, understanding, recognition he’d felt, you feel it too.
“Y/N, you okay?” Ze had asked, and you made a vaguely muffled noise of unconvincing confirmation. Out of sheer, idle curiosity, Corpse opened a new tab and searched up your YouTube channel where you were streaming.
“Maybe we should have warned ya’,” Sean offers with a light laugh, before lowering his voice, immitating and announcer as best as he could, “warning! Corpse is about to speak!” Which at the very least got Corpse to laugh, though he refused to give anything away as your stream loaded, and the banter continued in his ears.
“Har har,” you muttered sarcastically into the voice chat, right as the stream finished loading, and - you. Well dressed, face in your hands, heels of your palms pressed against your closed eyes; honestly, he doesn’t exactly have any prominent initial thoughts about you, watching you scrunch your face up in your hands, dealing with the same thing he had to, though your face was live to thousands. Beside you, the text chat for your stream was going almost too fast to read, but he managed to follow a few threads of thought here and there.
[an eye thing! they’ve got an eye thing!] [someone @ y/n_creature_spec on twt!!] [who has an eye thing??] [lmao love that they were so shocked hearing corpse that it set off their eye thing] [hello!! vampire here!! we have eye things!!] [u cant be a vampire it’s the middle of the day] [THERE ARE COUNTRIES OTHER THAN AMERICA YOU KNOW] [i am willing to put MONEY on the idea of them being fae of some kind.] [^^yeah they just didnt want us to see their eyes sparkling like an anime character.] [that feels like smthn corpse could bring out in people]
And then you’re blinking back to reality, bringing him from his thoughts as for one terrifying moment, it’s as if his gaze locks with yours. Expression so bright and inviting, despite the way your eyes were watering just a little, you hold eye contact with your camera for a moment before looking at your screen, mumbling something about an eyelash in your eye; Corpse lets out a shaky breath. Chat seems unconvinced, but at least the other streams take you on your word. For a few more moments, he quietly watches you, watches the way your eyes roam your screen as you order your thoughts, and for all that he’s thought of you, he’s never properly looked at you. It’s taken him until now to acknowledge that there was definitely a reason for your success beyond just your talent; certainly you could have become successful from your music alone, but your career certainly wasn’t hindered by the fact that you’re actually quite- suddenly, Corpse is overcome by the sense that he’s intruding, exiting out of the window immediately, even going so far as to push back from his desk, fingers spread wide, braced against the edge, trying not to think too hard about... any of it. If he thought too hard about what it meant to have another angel in LA, he would drive himself mad.
“Well, Corpse, it’s good to meet ya, been told great things,” to him and him alone it’s so clear you’re trying so hard to play it cool, though Corpse couldn’t fault you for that, doing the exact same thing; again, when you speak to him, it’s like his whole being is hit with a rush of warmth; it’s less overwhelming this time, somehow scalding but bearable now.
“I see Sykkuno’s been spreading lies about me,” Corpse fires off instinctually, to which Sykkuno splutters protests at the implication, despite your bright laughter, and Sean’s shout to the contrary.
“Don’t be mean, Corpse, Sykkuno would never lie about you,” Sean is adamant, and Corpse can tell he’s being honest, just as the tell-tale ringing in his ears knows the next words from Sean’s mouth are utter lies; “me on the other hand? Y/N whatever you do, do not listen to Corpse’s music, it’s just the worst.” Before the implication, the reality of what he’s saying sinks in, for just a moment, Corpse feels a rush of affection for Sean, so clearly and earnestly plugging his music, right before your voice re-joins the chat and Corpse remembers exactly who Sean is plugging his music to.
“Fuck you, J- Sean, I do what I want,” while you played along, amused and light, Corpse himself was at a loss for words. You ask him - him specifically, he knows, he knows with absolute certainty you’re asking him - if he’s a musician, and everyone else chimes in before he can even think about finding his voice.
“Don’t search him on Spotify! Don’t do it!” Sean, on the verge of laughter, seems delighted by the turn this conversation has taken as the sound of aggressive typing fills the chat from your end. What the fuck. What the fuck?! No matter his thoughts and opinions about you and your possible supernatural origins, you were still Y/N, literal Grammy winner and Golden Child from the Golden Age of YouTube, playing along as Sean used the world’s worst reverse psychology on you to get you to listen to his music. Oh fuck, this is not how today was meant to go.
“I don’t wanna hold up the game, I’ll listen as I play,” you tell them, almost painfully polite, though Ze agrees to start the next game. If Corpse’s mind wasn’t in the game before, there’s no way in hell it was now.
Three minutes into the first round and he’s failing miserably at card swipe when he chances a look at his chat; people were spamming lyrics from Miss YOU! and Cat Girls Are Ruining My Life! which was sweet but nerve wracking, since he’s pretty sure it means you’ve already listened to one and moved on to the next. If you’re an angel, and you know he’s an angel, what in the hell would you think of his music? Honestly, even if you weren’t an angel, you’re still you, and his music was... well...
When the first meeting is called, and it’s discovered that you’ve been murdered, there’s a strange sense of relief that comes with it, even as he’s being accused of your murder. He’s got a solid alibi, so they end up voting out Sean, and the game continues. Despite the brief reprieve from your possible judgement, his heart still feels as though it’s skittering erratically around his ribcage. 
Rae comes along when he’s doing Simon Says, and shoots his little avatar. The moment he becomes a ghost, he lets out a long breath, giving himself a moment to relax, to collect his thoughts, catching back up with some questions with chat  he hadn’t quite realised he’d been holding, and chances a look at his chat again.
“Of course I’m tense,” he finds himself musing quietly to his chat while the remaining players were arguing over the top of each other in a meeting, “pretty sure most of hyperfocus has been in my Spotify wrapped every year since it was released,” for a few moments, it doesn’t even occur to him what he’s said, or that he’s said it out loud, but when it hits him- oh, oh no, it feels like too much to admit, and he has no idea what to say next, how to backtrack, how to at least pretend like he doesn’t think about you or your music any more than any other person would. However much he may resent certain aspects of it, he still knows he has a reputation to uphold, and panic and denial have never been a part of his reputation.
So he keeps his mouth shut, bites down on the half-hearted excuses and explanations that keep springing to mind, keep pressing against his teeth. He does his tasks quietly, thanks the people donating, and pretend it never happened until the round ends, heart in his throat. He knows, the same way a human survivor in a zombie apocalypse movie knows, that he’s just putting off the inevitable, and that someone’s definitely already clipped it and is probably uploading it to Twitter or Tumblr faster than he could protest.
“Y/N I’m so sorry!” Sean’s the first one to talk when they’re back in the lobby, which leads to your laughter filling the voice chat, telling him it’s okay.
“I didn’t even care, honestly I was just vibing,” the smile in your voice is almost enough to distract from the strained edge to your words, something not quite right, but so faint Corpse isn’t sure if it was really there, and he’s not quite sure anyone else heard it either. Except -
“Y/N?” Sykkuno says your name like it means something that no-one but you and him can decipher, something concerned, almost a question, checking in without being too obvious. 
“Yeah?” There’s that strained tone, just a little more audible this time, before you process who’s talking, how he’d said your name, and - “yeah,” firmer, calmer, a reassurance. 
“Vibing?” And he says it like that was his question all along, like the two of you hadn’t had a full conversation in three words. When the others started asking about what you thought of the music, it’s clear none of them have picked up on the hint of strangeness that had been in your tone, and you deliberate before answering.
“Am I- is it- it’s weird if I quote it, isn’t it -?”
“Jacksepdicy how I whip that!” Sean practically yells into his microphone, cutting you off and somehow making the line sounding even more Irish than he himself did naturally, which startles a laugh from Corpse, “it’s my name in a song, I think about it daily,” he announces, voice oozing pride, and despite the situation and headspace he found himself in, Corpse feels his heart grow warm knowing that even a line like that had brought Sean joy.
“I thought,” you pause for a moment, presumably to double check which song you were about to reference, “I thought Miss YOU was a whole mood,” you admit, the faintest smile in your voice, and something tightens in Corpse’s chest at that.
“You not gonna quote it?” Rae teased.
“Too nervous to follow Sean,” you fired back.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get there one day, Y/N,” Sean laughs fondly, and you all joke around, playing up the bit, while Corpse’s mind is stuck on the fact that you never once addressed him when talking about his music. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it meant he didn’t have to deal with the sudden, fiery sensation your voice brought with it, so not bothered, persay, if anything he’s glad to know you liked it... But it’s weird that he knows so acutely -
“Hey,” and you don’t even say his name, but there’s that feeling again. Each time it grows less intense, like he’s been inoculated, and no instead of his nerves being ablaze, it’s as if he’s suddenly sitting beside a bonfire, each and every time you speak to him. The others voice their confusion at your sudden vaguness, but Corpse answers without even thinking, because of course he knows.
“Yeah?” 
A few moments pass, while the others carry on amongst themselves for the moment. The two of you sit in this one moment together, neither quite sure how to feel about it.
“You’ve been awfully quiet,” you point out, though there was only the barest him of the earlier strangeness in your voice, now overpowered by something that made it almost sound like you were pleased. At this, however, even more confusion arises when the others figure out that Corpse had ‘guessed’ correctly, that you’d been talking to him. But he can’t really hear them, or, well, he finds himself tuning them out, swallowing hard before he pushes to talk.
“Am I not allowed to enjoy the moment?” He asked, trying to ignore the weirdness of it all, keeping his tone light.
“I’m just surprised; it’s your music after all.” 
“You like hearing my voice?” Despite the surprisingly cocky way with which he speaks, he regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, wincing internally. Of all the people he could have said that to...  
“I never said that,” and though your own tone matched his, something teasing, something that could almost be misconstrued as flirty in the right circumstances, he’d heard the faint thread of discomfort, feeling it all too much himself. But your words, and thankfully your tone, was overshadowed by both Sykkuno and Sean jumping in to assure Corpse that they enjoyed hearing his voice.
“If you and Y/N ever collaborated, you know it’d break the internet, right?” Rae interjects, all kinds of smug and knowing, followed by a chorus of approving voices all broke out in unison as the rest of the lobby considered the possibility.
“Rae, you know our Twitter mentions are going to be going off for the next month now, don’t you?” You groaned.
“Maybe it’s a sign!” Rae exclaimed, delighted, before her tone turns teasing and fond, “and besides, aren’t your mentions always going off?”
[ID: The first four posts on Y/N’s Tumblr dashboard.
blueheart-anon hearing y/n and sean interact again after like 3 years unlocked memories like im a fucking sleeper agent. having war flashbacks to 2017′s ‘y/n is septiplier’s kid’ phase. how do i lock the memories up again im going to die of embarrassment why were we like that [tagged: #y/n #y/n y/l/n #jacksepticeye #sean mcloughlin #i WILL NOT add the ship tag i mentioned #blue talks] [7 notes] [▶️🗩↪️🖤]
fangloriousbastard  ↪️fangloriousbastard fangloriousbastard Rae: Y/N & Corpse Collab When? Y/N: 🔪 - fangloriousbastard Y/N IMMEDIATELY MURDERING RAE AND THEN CORPSE I- - fangloriousbastard Y/N MUTTERING THE JACKSEPDICY LYRIC WHILE MURDERING HIM WTF IS HAPPENING?? - fangloriousbastard SYKKUNO NO BBY IM SO WORRIED - fangloriousbastard Y/N IM BEGGING U TO STOP SAYING CORPSE LYRICS BEFORE U KILL UR FRIENDS - fangloriousbastard WAIT WHAT Y/N AND SYKKUNO BOTH VOTING FOR THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF EACH OTHER - fangloriousbastard “ride or die guess im gonna die” y/N PLEASE U MET HIM YESTERDAY - fangloriousbastard y/n’s still listening to corpse’s music we love to see it - fangloriousbastard WAIT NO ZE KILLED SYKKUNO IN FRONT OF THEM AND THEY WON OMG SO MUCH IS HAPPENING DID THESE MOTHERFUCKERS QUOTE AN ACTUAL THE OFFICE MEME AT EACH OTHER - fangloriousbastard Y/N: YOU KILLED MY BOY Ze: you’ve known him A Day! Y/N: you don’t have all the facts Ze: which are? Y/N: I love him. Y/N: Not in a weird, shippy way tho, but like, come on, man, look at him! Sykkuno’s avatar: 🌱                          👁👄👁 Sykkuno irl: 🥰 - fangloriousbastard ahem anyways corpse & y/n collab when? - y/n 🔪❤️ - fangloriousbastard 👁👄👁 - fangloriousbastard aren’t you supposed to be streaming?? [tagged: #HEWWO??? #among us lb #why do i only remember they’re following me when i post outrageously stupid content #btw y/n if u kill sean again i’ll cry] [43 notes] [▶️🗩↪️❤️]
fyahproof-y/n  ↪️ selkiey/n selkiey/n y/n’s explicit ‘i love him but not in a weird shippy way’ is the LOUDEST fandom vague i’ve ever heard in my life [286 notes] [▶️🗩↪️❤️]
crpshsbnd  ↪️ 221b-theres-a-bee crpshsbnd hope corpse is feeling okay he’s been kinda quiet this stream - 221b-theres-a-bee if someone suggested i make music with a grammy award winning artist i might be kind of quiet too - crpshsbnd asjdskldfjkdsf u right, still, hope that’s the reason. [tagged: #how do i always forget they won a grammy #actually i know why i keep forgetting #because every time i remember they won a grammy i remember the video where they jousted corndogs with joe sugg #and the winner had to deepthroat theirs for the camera #and y/n won but felt like an asshole for making joe deepthroat his corndog alone #and they ended up almost throwing up because they went too far with it #so hot #so talented #so very stupid sometimes] [3 notes] [▶️🗩↪️🖤]
Twitter is kind of a hellscape, Corpse decides, scrolling through his notifications as the stream’s winding down, seeing about a thousand different people tagging both you and him, asking for a collab, or seeing fit to show you both every single time one of you had mentioned the other in stream. Or had simply interacted. He’s not quite sure how to feel about hearing you mutter ‘make it rain, leave her wet, like a snowflake’. Unsurprisingly, a considerable few people had thought to clip the interaction where he’d apparently instinctively known you were talking to him, which he thoroughly regrets. There’s enough speculation about him online already, he doesn’t need people cluing into the fact that he might not be entirely human as well.
So now, he’s sitting idle in the lobby of the game as everyone’s thanking each other, discussing when they might get together to stream again; he’s quiet, disconnected from it all even though he knows he’s still live, he can’t help but stare at his phone, frown at your Twitter profile. You’re not following each other. A lot of his friends follow you, are mutuals with you, but you and he are not following each other, and he’s not sure if he’d like to change that. But it would make sense, right? It’s what’s expected.
Your pinned tweet is the single you released yesterday, which he still hasn’t listened to. The cover is cute; you’re - fuck. He refreshes the page. In the few moments since he’d clicked on your profile and now, you’d tweeted, thanking everyone for joining the stream, while you’re still in his ear, alongside everyone else, distinctly not addressing him. Maybe he should DM you, be upfront, ask about what you are, if his suspicions are true.
He hits the back button and goes back to scrolling through his mentions. 
“Hey.” Your voice, soft and earnest despite that warmth that crackles through him; he’s half distracted, hand moving instinctively to push-to-talk, and -
“Yeah?” God fucking damn it. Not again. He’s really gotta stop answering on instinct just because he knows you’re talking to him. He hates that he knows.
“Good to meet you, Corpse,” and there was a strange sincerity in your voice, and he responds in kind, but his heart’s not in it. There’s too much on his mind, too conflicted in his heart to tell the truth; his own words makes his ears ring. He can’t even lie to himself.
So he says his goodbyes, waits for the lobby to clear out and chatters away to his stream about when he might be on next. Upon ending the stream, he immediately opens the latest email from his producer, his latest project glaring back at him from the screen. 
Yes, his various ailments have his body aching, but the interactions he’s had with you are giving him a headache when he thinks too hard about them, and he feels woefully unproductive. Never Satisfied stares back at him, so close to being finished, mocking him. Scowling harder, he listens to what he has so far, making tweaks and notes, glad for the distraction, glad that his producer had as chaotic of a sleep schedule as he did. This was the home stretch; one more all-nighter and it would finally be done.
He texts Heartful that he’s getting to work.
It’s four in the morning when he finally stops for a break, his good eye starting to itch from staring at a screen for so long. With a yawn, he leans forward, out of his chair, groaning as he straightens up to a mostly standing position. Hands braced against the edge of his desk, he lets out a resigned sigh and wills his wings into existence. The weight of them curled up tight against his back, as was customary for them to be when non-corporeal, has him leaning a little further forward. Another yawn and he lets them uncurl, lets them stretch out behind him, knocking over an empty microphone stand as they went. He’d get that later. A grateful groan escapes him, it’s been far too long since he’d even had a half-assed stretch like this, wings helping to stretch all the aching muscles in his back that were simply impossible to stretch otherwise, no matter how much he’d twist. Even so, his studio wasn’t big enough to properly stretch them, and he really didn’t feel like laying on his living room floor right now; he’s kind of concerned he’d just fall asleep there. Instead, he kicks his chair to the side and hits shuffle on one of his Spotify playlists, doing what he can for himself in the limited space, and finally going to forage through his cupboards for something resembling a meal. Maybe drink water, Rae’s damn voice in his head.
At least with his wings around he didn’t need to bother turning on any lights; he’s gotta find joy in the little things.
Today, or well, the past twenty-four hours, was a series of cruel jokes, he decides, all leading to the moment he curls up his wings and sits back down at his desk. The moment he puts his headphones back on, he’s greeted by your voice, and he almost jumps a foot in the air, concerned that you’d called him.
"- who I became, dreading when the music stops, what if I just fade away?” In the split second he’s realised that it was just a song, just your voice, crooning, gentle and sad against a soft beat and the sound of rain, as i’m going through some stuff playing in his ears, it’s too late. Already his aura had gone off, and his computer cuts out, as his monitor cuts to darkness, so suddenly all he can see is his own, exhausted reflection in the monitor, backlit by his own wings... Not exactly flattering. 
Thankfully, it was only his computer that was affected, as he can still hear his refrigerator humming in the other room, so he wedges himself beneath his desk to reset the breaker for the power board that his whole system was connected to, grumbling to himself the whole time. 
If he was being honest, however, he was glad he didn’t have to hear more than a few seconds of your song. For a long time it had been one of his favourites, though at this point he’d rather die than admit that. Yes, it’s a good song, but it’s the last thing he needs to hear right now. If he listened to you voice half the fears he still tried to ignore, well right now it may kill him, and he was so close to being finished with Never Satisfied. So close.
Instead, he gives himself the moment in which his system is rebooting to scroll through Twitter and Instagram on his phone, checking his mentions for good fanart to appreciate, only to stumble across one of your stan accounts tagging both you and him in a clip that he hadn’t seen earlier. He’s not sure what possesses him to click it.
“Don’t follow me baby, swear I’m going to hell,” Corpse’s own words leave your lips as you’re focused on the game, on being imposter, leading Sykkuno into electrical to fix lights, and something about it sounds wrong and he can’t quite put his finger on it. He’d heard other lines of his leave your mouth, clips from the stream he’d been tagged in, and it always manages to surprise him. When you sing his songs, even just a little bit, something in the back of his mind, something that had appreciated you as an artist all this time, it’s grateful, it’s excited, it’s overwhelmed. He wouldn’t deny that part of himself, he couldn’t, it didn’t feel right, but upon hearing this line, that grateful part was overshadowed by a visceral bitterness.
The line had been a moment of self deprecation, the only Angel he knew of who, granted it was by some of his own choices, was almost certainly going to Hell, if you believe in that sort of thing of course. But you? Every single part of you seemed to be the exact antithesis to him; you’re what an Angel should be, and him? Well, the line said it all really. It’s just... it feels like you’re mocking him at every turn now that he knows, or well, strongly suspects. With evidence. Which you’re probably not; if you’re an Angel, you wouldn’t go out of your way to mock another angel, so now he’s all in his head, frustrated at himself for being frustrated at you for just... liking his song? 
He really should message you about earlier, clear things up, get out of his own mind and stop jumping to conclusions. Finding another angel was big, no matter his personal reservations, he should try and take this opportunity, right? Except that you hadn’t reached out to him either.
Damn it; he knows he needs to stop thinking about you and focus on his own shit. He turns off his phone and gently tosses it to the floor, out of sight out of mind. 
Maybe he’ll feel better when he finishes his song, feel more productive, feel... complete for just a few moments. Maybe he’d stop comparing himself to you. Maybe.
[ID: Two tweets, one from @sp00kybihh, and one from @yourtwitter, followed by a retweet and reply conversation between @ashton5sos, @yourtwitter, and @y/nirwin.
@sp00kybihh: why did y/n’s smile every time corpse just knew they were talking to him without them having to say anythign make me feel things?? u no we love day 1 ride-or-die y/nkunno, but corpse & y/n just seem to get each other wtf 🥺🥺
@yourtwitter: australians are asleep post forbidden youngblood cover
(Thumbnail of Y/N sitting in front of the camera, dressed casually, visible from the chest up. There is a black microphone on a stand in front of them that they’re holding. Their mouth is open, as if halfway through singing, their eyes are closed, their background is a simple, white wall. Above Y/N, in black, VCR font, is the word ‘youngblood’. There is a large play button in blue and white in the middle of the thumbnail, to indicate that it is a link to a video.
Link: youngblood - 5 seconds of summer | y/n y/l/n cover i miss my boys. i miss people. thank you 5sos for being cool about me covering this <3</i> twitter: @yourtwitter 🔗youtube.com)
@ashton5sos retweeted the link and commented: Y/N you said it was gonna be low effort, this is killer! All it’s missing is some drums. Reminds me, I’m still sad we never got to record that thing we wrote in New York. | @yourtwitter: ASHTON IT IS 8AM I HAVE HAD NO SLEEP AND WAS NOT EXPECTING SUCH A QUICK RESPONSE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU | @yourtwitter: also lmfao i forgot about that ny thing that was good, from what i remember. do u still have that recording of us?? i may or may not have forgotten everything about that night apart from it being a blast #bringbacknewyork | @ashton5sos: Calum has it but also its 2am and he’s asleep, which you should also do. You know the boys are gonna love this... #bringbacknewyork | @y/nirwin: thank u both i have decided to pass away effective immediately #bringbacknewyork
End ID.]
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Ikevamp headcanons after watching Hamilton
Quick disclaimer: Yes I know this is a show about people who had owned slaves and slavery is bad. Having said that there's a reason why we suspend disbelief for a couple of hours and just allow ourselves to be swept into the story. I also love Phantom of the Opera but I also am aware that this is a story that involves an abusive and toxic relationship. The point is that I am aware that there are problems that needs to be discussed, but I still love the music, the story and the shows okay. This is just fan content not meant to be taken seriously and is just for fun. Okay? Now let's proceed.
I'll be doing Will and Arthur first since I'm currently doing Shakespeare's route and was inspired to do this after MC watches Romeo and Juliet with Vincent and I was wondering how Will would react to watching Hamilton. And Arthur is here because he is my husband/main lover. I might do Mozart and Napoleon next.
SPOILER ALERT: For anyone who hasn't seen the Disney Plus version of Hamilton, there might be some spoilers here (unless you already saw the show or know the story that is).
General Scenario:
You don't know how but Le Comte was able to get the filmed version of Hamilton, a musical which you've told Sebastian that you've been dying to see but was never able to because tickets were always sold out and entering the lottery was going to be a little too expensive for someone who lives in Japan and who doesn't exactly have the money or the time to simply fly to New York if in case she won. You were also excited because apparently Le Comte was able to modify the 21st century tech room that you use for your online classes and was able to get a wide screen and high quality surround sound which made you appreciate his efforts. A part of you was also curious as to how the other residents would react. You were scared that some of them might take offense, especially Napoleon who knew one of the characters in the show in real life. Would they react weirdly for seeing people different from them portray people that they knew? You were also wondering if they might even appreciate some of the 21st century slang that you and Sebastian would sometimes slip back into whenever it was just the two of you alone. After talking it out with everyone and explaining a few more things (like how its probably going to be different since it is a series of captured pictures-or at least that's your closest analogy- being played super fast with the synchronized sound of the actors- or what you were almost tempted to call "Techno Magic") during a dinner in which Shakespeare had decided to be present in, they were actually interested in what this show is about. Napoleon convinced you that he's fine and actually someone else playing Lafayette might even help with the suspension of disbelief since its been awhile since he has last met him anyway. Will even mentioned that while he has read and heard about stories from America, this is probably going to be the first story or production he's going to see from it. The only one who showed any hesitation - to no one's surprise - was Mozart, since he is attached to the kind of music he is familiar with (aren't we all?). But after prodding from both Jean, Le Comte and you giving him the puppy eyes, he finally relents. The day comes when everyone was once again free and for practicality everyone decided to have a meal first so that they won't be hungry during the show and also for you, Le Comte, and Sebastian to explain a few things everyone else may need to know to truly appreciate the show (like how the Presidential system and elections worked during the setting, what the word "Rewind" means, what is beatboxing, etc). So finally everyone gathered into the tech room after the meal, the lights were dimmed and once everyone was settled, you hit play. And as self-predicted of you, you find yourself crying in the end.
William Shakespeare (I'm still doing his route so please don't hate me if I get him wrong. Also no spoilers please).
- He was a bit shocked at first by how exactly up close you could see the facial expressions of the actors as well as the various ways it would cut to another person. He could now understand why you struggled with trying to explain how its played in a theatre but not exactly like the theatrical experience. But as you saw in your periphery, by the time Philippa Soo sings her first line, Will had already adjusted and allowed himself to be an audience and shut off his director and actor mindset (for the most part at least).
- While he didn't specialize in musicals, he found himself paying attention to the story of "the ten dollar founding father without a father." He knows how music could help both the actors and the audience in succumbing to their emotions in a scene and to suspend disbelief from reality. In his productions the words are not overwhelmed by any score but rather complemented to bring out the emotion he wants to evoke and for actors to show. Since many parts of the show has been influenced by the spoken word style without completely removing it from being sung, he has become enlightened with how powerful a show can be when it is done right.
- He not only enjoyed the story (especially the flow of it) and the production (especially some of the more technical details that the other residents hadn't noticed as far as a stage production is concerned), he loved that even the ensemble members had good acting and some of the onstage humor. One of the meta things he enjoyed was the obvious reference to his most superstitious work.
- Once you've seen how he loves analyzing the technical details of the production, you excitedly tell him about a special member of the ensemble who is known as "The bullet" among fans of the show. You could see him being enlightened as he watches the show with you again (this time with just the two of you) and he now sees "the bullet" and the way she interacts with the characters in a whole different light. He was so impressed with this idea that he may have adapted it into one of his new original plays (its not a copy paste of Hamilton's "bullet" but he definitely adapted assigning a member of the ensemble to have a special role that may not be significant at first, but he heavily notes that this member would have to be unique in interacting with any of the other characters).
- He didn't know what to expect from a 21st Century production but he found himself impressed with the prose and writing of various raps and songs. His favorite from Act 1 in terms of rhyme schemes was "Right Hand Man" and from Act 2 it was Jefferson's rap in "Washington by your side". And after settling down a bit his favorite emotional parts were "History has its eyes on you", "Hurricane", and "It's quiet uptown".
- He was impressed with how the double roles was given and how it actually is true for both of their roles in both acts. Ambiguity is one of his favorite things to have in a work, and he gives props to Lin for all the ambiguity he later realizes was in several parts of the show. If he and Arthur had been a little bit more closer, they probably would have bonded over the ambiguity Hamilton's comma in his letter to Angelica (see kids, grammar matters).
- A part of his brain wonders how the real life Hamilton would react to this and if him and Burr would still be enemies. But after some thinking he decides its not worth his efforts of asking anyone to bring them back since a wonderful production of their life has already been made even if it may not necessarily reflect who they truly are. He of all people knew what it's like to be inspired by great figures, it was fortunate that Lin Manuel Miranda decided to make a show about them before he had the chance to.
- You explain that in America Hamilton is one of the lesser known founding fathers of their nation and how it may be because his political opponents later on became Presidents and therefore was able to form the narrative. He becomes inspired by it and begins to search out people or stories who are hidden gems who may not be historically famous but had much more interesting stories than some of the ones he has heard of.
- Afterwards once you are sure that he has gotten comfortable enough with the genre you show him various videos of people rapping to his works and his reactions range from impressed to amused to "that's not what I mean when I wrote that" and you had to calm him down and explain that they can't hear him anyway after he started giving serious critiques on what the text means.
Arthur Conan Doyle
- While he was knowledgeable about many things, America's founding fathers was not one of them. He along with the other residents have gotten used to any rumors or exaggerated accounts of their lives and you and Sebastian have already warned that this is just a fictionalized production of the real person. As a writer of some historical fiction books he argued that he of all people was aware that any work based on history will speak more about the creators rather than the actual people they are writing about most of the time. He was nevertheless interested as to why you have become fascinated with the treasury secretary (and maybe it was with a twinge of jealousy that you began to expressly show admiration to another man even if he wasn't among the residents in the mansion). After all unlike many other residents of the mansion, on the surface it seemed that Hamilton was similar to Theo who mainly played a supporting but crucial role to his brother. He was thankful that you didn't hold it against him and was comforted that you were in a similar place. You even told him that the only thing you really knew about Hamilton before listening to the soundtrack and watching "Animatics" was that he was in the ten dollar American bill.
- And as someone who has delved into writing historical fictions, this was probably one of the most entertaining productions about a historical figure he has seen. He's going to be honest with you in that at first he was wondering if revealing Burr shot Hamilton in the opening was going to hinder him from enjoying the show; but he was pleasantly surprised that this was not the case at all. As a matter of fact it now made him want to find out who the real Hamilton was (although a part of him doubts if the real Hamilton had any regrets at all). According to him, this is why as a fictionalized historical work, the show is a success because it makes you want to find out more about the events and figures of the story (even if it means looking at darker realities that they did). And while the real Hamilton may be a lot different from what was shown, with all the things he went through and all the things he has done (for better or worse), he now wonders why exactly Le Comte hadn't approached him since he seems to be no better or worse than the average resident ("He and Newt could probably discuss mathematics all day."). You then explained that his political rivals (Jefferson and Madison from the show, and Monroe who wasn't shown in the musical) had later on become Presidents and was able to shape the narrative away from Hamilton. "Ron Chernow made Hamilton's biography because he was the lesser known founding father who was fading into obscurity among Americans and Lin read the book and recognized the story of someone who has risen through his writings. And to Lin that was also the story of hiphop." While he wasn't involved in politics as much as Hamilton was, Arthur had enough experience to know what it feels like to have those kinds of people in power. He also knows just how powerful it is to be in "the room where it happened" and how sometimes the real decisions weren't being made in an office but rather in either a private party or the right bar when people in power had their guard down and were more susceptible to being influenced.
- He could relate a lot with Hamilton on many things that he's only comfortable allowing either you or Theo to see. From being just so much more aware of death's inevitability coming for every living thing to survivor's guilt even though a part of him knows its irrational (but sometimes the emotional nonsense just overtakes our perspectives and actions). It's why he could understand Hamilton's need to write as much as he can before he dies. It's why for a time in his human life he had deviated from writing about Holmes and ventured into other genres. He could also relate to the need to prove what type of person he was, and how to go beyond his tragedies to serve people in their own ways. Hamilton did it as a soldier and the creator of America's financial system. And he is doing it as an informally practicing doctor and as a writer. It's a need that he's trying to mitigate since you've repeatedly told him that he doesn't need to prove anything to you or to anyone and to write whatever he pleases. But he also can't deny that it's still somewhere lodged in the back of his head.
- Just like William Shakespeare, in terms of the wordplay found in rap and the ambiguity present in the show and how those things were executed made him amazed and momentarily speechless. He was especially fanboying about "The comma after dearest" and how this essentially shows how important grammar was. It went to the extent that afterwards whenever he would write to you he would address you either as "My dearest, Y/N" or "My darling, Y/N" with special emphasis on the comma (sometimes you could see how there's more ink in the comma than some of the actual words. That's how much he wants to emphasize that you hold the title of dearest or darling). And you excitedly share with him some of the trivia knowledge of the show (like how in real life it was Angelica who originally made the comma mistake by writing to Hamilton as "My dear, sir" in one of her letters and it was Hamilton who was asking her what the comma means and even replied with "Ma chere, soeur") and how Angelica really did reference the Icarus metaphor in one of her letters to Eliza. And even though he wasn't a major musical nerd (he sang for fun), he would now join you in watching Howard Ho's Hamilton videos musically analyzing Hamilton (and would probably try to find a way to use this knowledge to annoy Mozart in some way).
- Speaking of music: Maybe it's because he's biased in his love for you but aside from Sebastian he's probably the one who has no qualms about the hiphop genre and was immediately into the various wordplays that rapping allowed. And because of this his favorite characters in terms of rapping are the ones played by Daveed Diggs (probably more than Hamilton himself even though you've explained that Lin is the one who wrote the whole thing). He even adapts to how Daveed as Jefferson would say Isaac's third law and incorporated it into his "let's tease Newton" kit. That's when you know he really loves Daveed Diggs ("Every action has an equal opposite -" "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING IT THAT WAY?! I didn't mind the first few times but this is ridiculous Arthur" "It must be nice, it must be nice to have a Newton on your side"). And his favorite character emotionally was Angelica (her raps in Schuyler Sisters and Satisfied may have helped).
- Speaking of the Schuyler Sisters, after watching it with you another time (this time with just the two of you) one of his favorite things to say is that you've got the best of all three sisters within you (Angelica's wittiness and intelligence, Eliza's cares for the more important things in life, and Peggy's humor) with the sexiness of Maria Reynolds. But because he sees all 4 of them in you he has the benefit of not needing to choose among them. Having said that there will be a period wherein he teases you if he makes you "Helpless" or "Satisfied" (and you respond either by kissing him or singing "That would be enough").
- Whenever you would sing as one of the Schuyler sisters he will join you as any of the male characters the moment he masters the soundtrack and could even sing it without the music. His favorite rap songs are "Guns and Ships", "Washington on your side", and of course "Satisfied". He also really loves "Non-stop", "the 10 duel commandments", and "The room where it happened". But his favorite sequence is from "the Winter's Ball" all the way to "Wait for it". Since it has romance, a shocking revelation, and gives insight to the perspective of the antagonist. He's also one of the first people to attempt to learn the choreography whenever he's in one of his mental blocks in writing. Of course he makes sure not to injure himself.
- He posts song lyrics to keep himself motivated in his times of mental block "There's a million things I haven't done. But just you wait" and "I'm not throwing away my shot" frequently appear around his desk.
-And whenever he's feeling low or insecure, just like Eliza you remind him to "Look around, Look around, how lucky we are to be alive right now."
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tiptapricot · 3 years
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I’ve been having a lot of Evil Robo BnT thoughts recently, so here’s a bunch of them! This ended up pretty long just as a forwarning djjdjd
Post DeNomolos, Evil BnT are forced to do a lot of self exploration and discovery
They’re two robots from the far future, stuck in the past with each other and the two humongously important historical figures they were not only sent back to kill, but also physically made to look and sound exactly like, with no way back to their own time and no further reason to carry out the mission they were created for
It’s a lot to adjust to
(Three uses of the f-slur near the end in a canon compliant/reclaimed usage context, and implied sexual content, but extremely mild)
It still doesn’t have much of an impact on them at first though, besides some anger and annoyance. They don’t feel emotions in the same way or to the same depth that humans do, so they kind of fall back on: this sucks and that guy was a dick, guess we have to live in the stupid past now, and that’s the extent of it
But they’re also AIs, and AIs learn and grow
They hide out in a cheap apartment for the first few months or so back, going out to steal money to pay for rent and to pick up movies and stuff, but it’s exposure to the world, it’s living. And the more they interact with people, the more media they consume, the more the rigid walls of their programming break down and expand
And that’s when things start getting complicated
Because that’s when things like morals, sense of self, purpose in life, and, to their horror, real emotions start coming into play
Their evil edges start corroding, things stop being as straightforward, and they start developing into their own complex people
Being Bill and Ted with a few glorified descriptors stuck on the front starts feeling… weird, especially when they inevitably end up running into them again and being around them more
Because they’re supposed to be Bill and Ted, but they aren’t, and yet they can’t completely deny the parts of themselves that are….. it’s frustrating
As a first step in both asserting and exploring their individuality, they choose their own names
Evil Bill chooses Willis, or Will for short, and Evil Ted goes with Theoneous, Theo for short
It’s different enough to feel like their own thing, while still appeasing the ingrained itch to take BnT’s place
There are gaps like that, a disconnect/mental dissonance between their consciousnesses and the knowledge that they’re robots, circuitboards and wires and code, like a separation between what they feel is them and what they feel is the robot
That’s an experience that continues as they grow, especially as they try and figure out what to do with their lives. It’s tough sometimes, to figure out where the programming ends and where their own wants and drives begin
They’re the only ones familiar enough with future tech to help each other when they experience technical issues or need repairs, and the only ones they feel comfortable being that physically vulnerable with
It leads to them being kind of codependent, but it’s warranted in a lot of ways
They also naturally stick closer to each other, because even though they grow to have emotions and are able to care about people, they aren’t totally mushy
They don’t get as upset about things, or as excited, and while they form their own kind of love for the people they end up caring about (without admitting it), they’re still never able to connect with humans in the same way they connect with each other
It’s this inherent wall, a difference in how they experience the world
Their forms of affection are machine based, just like how humans are human based. They’ll give each other cold packs when it’s hot or they’ve been moving a lot, they’ll do evening maintenance on each other, chatting while one of them has their hand in the other’s chest cavity, and they jump on each other or bang their shoulders together super hard, because they can’t feel a thing and they’re durable enough for it, and that’s fun to them
That doesn’t really carry over to human interaction though, and a lot of times they end up coming across as cold or mean
They generally have a rougher seeming relationship than most humans. There’s a lot of teasing and insults and slapping, which turns most people off from them, but that’s how they show they’re comfortable (it’s also how they show they don’t like people, but there’s a subtle and meaningful difference there, AKA that they won’t purposefully try to harm the former party)
Robots process sound differently too, for them it’s more of a physical experience than just listening
Will’s guilty pleasure is that he likes to listen to piano (secretly), especially Debussy and other classical that sounds similar. Something about it makes his circuitry feel good and fuzzy and calms him down
He doesn’t feel comfortable telling Theo about it, it still feels like a dumb pussweed thing to be into (plus it continues to make him have some most non metal thoughts about kissing and That’s DEFINITELY not something he can share)
They also both really like death metal. Though they were loosely programmed with the knowledge of BnT’s music taste, it’s not quite their style, and they lean towards the more intense stuff
They do that in most fields though, since it usually takes higher energy stuff to get them going/excited/into something
That’s why they roughhouse a lot, and mess things up, and drive recklessly, it forces their mechanics to process more things more quickly, and as a result gives them their own form of dopamine/adrenaline
Sometimes things backfire, they’ve fucked themselves up accidentally on more then one occasion when stuff goes too far or isn’t what they expect, but they’re always there to patch each other up
When their synth skin gets ripped or torn they don’t always bother to repair it, and underneath there’s a layer of see through hard plastic and their bodies look like those clear case electronics that were popular in the 90s (idea cred to @juiceboxfrog !)
They also have inspector gadget-like telescoping stretch arms at their wrist and ankle joints, but they don’t use those much because they’re unsettling to most humans. Definitely a leg up when they want to climb places the shouldn’t, though (idea cred to @showbiz-za !)
Theo is more prone to needing fix ups than Will, since the extra wiring that was installed for the time and space spanning camera DeNomolos gave him made him more susceptible to short circuiting, over heating, and other glitches
After awhile he just takes his left eye out and leaves it like that, keeping his hair in his face to cover it. It doesn’t do anything for the internal parts of it he still has, but it’s not like it’s a loss. The connection port kept sparking, and it was uncomfortable and kept fucking with his vision, so it wasn’t worth it
Plus he didn’t really like that it used to be a camera… or still could be
One of the things Will and Theo both have to get used to is actually valuing their own privacy and autonomy
When DeNomolos was around they were just his tools, tools that he didn’t even like
They honestly grow to resent him pretty fast, both with his treatment of them, and, when their emotions are especially out of control, his creation of them
They don’t talk about it much, or when they do it’s mainly anger, not addressing or showing the more raw parts they do feel, because that’s still foreign to them, and their circuits weren’t designed to process or understand more complex stuff
Complex stuff like how being around Ted more makes Theo develop a certain… insecurity
It’s not like the connections are hard to make: he looks like Ted, he sounds like Ted, he was meant to be Ted, Ted has a dickweed of a dad, and Theo had a dickweed of a creator, Ted has Bill and Theo has Will
But Theo doesn’t have Deacon
And while he doesn’t want to be exactly like Ted, part of him also does (it was made to). Part of him wants to be human, to have those natural connections and someone to watch over
But he doesn’t and it’s weird*
He tries to ignore it, chalks it up to his drive still attempting to put him on his original track of replacing Ted, and therefore making him more aware of the family roles Ted has
For all he knows that is what it is, he’s just a robot after all
Even though they aren’t really ones for mushy love, Will and Theo do love each other
You can’t not when you know the other person inside and out, literally
They joke a lot about that when they’re doing repairs (“Dude you’re holding my heart, pretty faggy of you.”), and though they laugh, there’s an unspoken intimacy to it, something that sits warm in their wires and goes beyond platonic; something (though they would never describe it as such) loving about getting to take care of each other, and getting to get taken care of
The jokes also stop being jokes after awhile and take on a charge, morphing into unofficial flirting
Eventually that charge sparks, and their relationship becomes a different kind of physical. That’s new, too, a type of exploration neither of them are familiar with, but it’s nice, it’s good, and it’s easier to write off as casual and not meaningful than anything else (for the record I do think this works/plays out different for them than it does for humans, but I will nOt get into that here or anywhere lmao)
That arrangement doesn’t last forever, though, because one night Theo has a bad malfunction that cause him to completely power down, and it sends Will into a panic
It takes him almost an hour to fix the problem and for Theo to reboot, and when he comes back Will can’t stop touching him and checking in and it’s weird
“Why are you so worked up dude, this’s happened plenty of times.”
“Yeah I know you just… you fritzed out and went limp and it freaked me out dude.”
“So? You know this is nothing to worry about. I don’t get why you’re kinda acting like such a pussweed dude.”
“I didn’t know what was wrong! That’s plenty of reason to be fucking worried!”
“Not for you! Not for us! Why the hell do you care so much this time?”
“Because I love you, asshole!”
And then there’s silence, and staring, and then Theo cracks a smile
“Heh, fag.”
Kissing after a confession, as it turns out, makes both of them short circuit, and they wake up three days later still tangled up on top of each other, half falling off the apartment couch
“Y’know… I think we’re both fags now dude,” Will whispers, and they chuckle in the space between their mouths. “I did it first though.”
*he does get this later with Billie and Thea, but that’s a whole separate post
(As one last thing wanted to add that Love Came Along by Pansy Division perfectly encapsulates the vibes of Will n Theo’s relationship to me, AKA something casual and almost humorous while still being super intimate and emotional, so def check it out if you’re ok with suuuuper explicitly sexual lyrics bfgjgfdfg)
Headcanons masterpost
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peace-coast-island · 3 years
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Diary of a Junebug
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The trail of the Whispering Winds 
The Moonlit Woods transforms into a different place after midnight. It's still as eerie as ever, but in a different way though - as in different vibes. I hardly venture out here for good reason so when I do, it's usually with a group, preferably those versed in magic and supernatural stuff.
Last time I came to the Moonlit Woods was with Team Magic - Pippa, Mariposa, Angie, and Willow. While hunting for gyroids we came across an old travel log and found a cocostar tree, which is super rare, so we struck gold with that discovery. Being with the girls made me feel a bit more confident about venturing into the woods so since then, planning out my next adventure has been in the back of my mind.
Speaking of Team Magic, the girls are looking forward to coming back for another gyroid event. Mariposa's been working with Daisy Jane on gyroid designs since then and they're pretty much ready to go. We just haven't been able to set a date yet because the girls are busy with school and college apps but they're hoping to drop by sometime in the near future.
Instead of Team Magic, we have a new group accompanying us in the woods. They don't have an official name but they have been working as a team for years. There's Taiki, a freelance exorcist who comes from a family that has dealt with the supernatural for generations. He's a friend of Miki's, having gone to the same university together.
Nene's his best friend from his hometown - she actually spent a semester at Tome U so she also got to know Miki a bit. She's also the artist Rika has been following, the one who just set up a Patreon and is in the process of getting her webcomic, Seven Wonders, published.
Haru is what they call an untethered spirit. He used to haunt the halls of the school Taiki and Nene went to before it was demolished. Basically Taiki contacted Miki who contacted her brother and his friends at the consultation center so they can find a way to keep Haru around. I only know this because Mikayla asked for some sparkle stones and essences a while back.
Then I got curious and decided to do a bit of research. Turns out there's a lot of different kind of procedures that have varying results. So what Taiki and the others did was no easy feat and they succeeded either by luck or some other factors. In other words, Haru's still a ghost or a spirit, but now he also has a physical form. He looks young - 13 or 14 at the most - but he's obviously a lot older than that - though for the most part he's like any other guy as far as I can tell.
Nene is an artist and the author of Seven Wonders, a webcomic about a girl who befriends a spirit who resides in her school. The story's loosely based on her life - as well as Taiki and Haru's. She started writing it a few years ago, originally a side project to keep herself busy. Then she began updating it regularly and grew a following, prompting her to expand the story. The webcomic then reached international audiences when Taiki offered to translate her work into English so that's when it really started taking off.
The three of them go way back, having first met almost a decade ago. Nene managed to summon Haru in hopes of granting a wish, similar to what happens with the main characters in Seven Wonders. The two end up in a series of misadventures that result in them being bonded by a curse, resulting in Nene being connected with the spirits of the school. Then Taiki came along with the intent of exorcizing spirits such as Haru, only to end up befriending him.
They've been through a lot together, even defying fate (Haru's words) so they can have this future they're living in right now. From what I've heard, dealing with the supernatural - willingly or not - always has a price to pay. It's one of those things where no matter how lightly you tread, you'll step on a landmine either way.
In other words, there's always something to lose.
Taiki was never one to have a "normal" life considering that he comes from a family of exorcists. He has an older brother and younger sister, both who are powerful and pretty well known back home. Miki mentioned that he hasn't really spoken to his family much since moving out. According to Nene and Haru, Taiki was close to his brother, having looked up to him a lot back in the day. Nene and Miki have both speculated that the rift between Taiki and his brother was probably one of the reasons why he decided to stay in Mina Creek instead of going back to Inazuma.
Nene stuck around Inazuma before deciding to join Taiki. Even after graduating she stuck around the school to see Haru, working as a janitor so she'd have an excuse to be there. But when Taiki graduated the following year, the trio didn't see much of each other. Taiki went abroad to Tome University and while Nene still visited Haru and the other spirits, she had to focus on her studies.
Then Nene signed up for a study abroad program, which happened to take her to Miki and Taiki's school. I remember Miki talking about helping out this freshman who was an international student. She said he was struggling quite a bit so it was lucky that they ran into his old friend - his senpai, as he called her back in the day. During her time there while reminiscing with Taiki, Nene was inspired to write Seven Wonders so that's how it all began.
Nene ended up dropping out of university after that semester so she became an artist/content creator while working as a school janitor. Along with that she was also the bridge between the living and the spirits, a role she carried since becoming Haru's assistant when they first met.
In the years that followed, Nene and Haru got involved in supernatural affairs while Taiki offered his assistance once in a while. Things were going well until the school had to close due to financial problems. If that wasn't bad enough, the city was going to demolish the school and a bunch of other old buildings in that area. So Haru was in a tight spot as he would have nowhere to go since he couldn't be outside of the school. And as for Nene, she didn't really have anywhere to go either since being a janitor was what kept her afloat.
Thankfully Taiki and the others were able to come up with a solution or else Nene and Haru wouldn't be here with us. Taiki made the offer for Nene to join him in Mina Creek, something which she was understandably on the fence about. She says she's been adjusting to the move a lot better than she thought, probably because she has been here before so it's not too drastic of a change.
However, it's a big leap for Haru considering that he's been restricted inside a school for years and now he's in a foreign country surrounded by a lot of unfamiliar things. He does seem to be a fast learner - Nene and Taiki were surprised at how quickly his English's improving and if I didn't know, I'd think he'd been studying the language for at least a year or so. Taiki's obviously quite fluent while Nene's sorta in between - Taiki serves as an interpreter when they need a bit of help, which is pretty much what he does during his non-exorcist job.
So far Nene's enjoying life at Minai Creek, though she admits to missing home. She finds the change in scenery intimidating but also necessary. On one hand she's sad to leave the school and the other spirits but at the same time she feels it's probably for the best. Haru's holding his own, though Nene worries about him as the changes they're going through can't be easy on him. She's also worried about Taiki too, especially since it seems like he's completely cut off his ties from his home - by that she means his family.
Nene definitely comes across as a big sister/mom friend. Taiki sometimes calls her onee-chan, which is a way one addresses their older sister in Japanese. I've met Taiki a few times before and I see a different side to him when Nene's around. Or maybe it's because this is the first time I've really gotten to know him? He just seems more ...himself? open? ... when he's with Nene and Haru. It's sweet how much he looks up to Nene - whenever he talked about her in the past you can tell how much he respects and admires her - and now that I finally meet her, I can see it. I think Nene and I are gonna be good friends.
Taiki's had his eye on the Moonlit Woods for a while as there's a section that's kinda dangerous to tread if you're not well versed with spirits and such. Only the bravest exorcists venture there to help clean up the place a little and contain the bad karma by doing what's necessary. He did his research extensively before considering going to that place due to rumors of seasoned exorcists being ill prepared and becoming corrupt, which is the worst case scenario.
Since strength lies in numbers, Taiki needed a reliable team to keep things under control and make a speedy retreat if necessary. Haru and Nene's connections to the spiritual world are valuable, especially since Haru has a bit of a pull with certain higher status spirits that can come in handy in case things go south. As for me and the campers, we're kinda the brute force, serving as the muscle and sort of an anchor to keep the others grounded. Something about certain spirits having an effect on those who can see and interact with them and taking advantage of that by blurring the lines between reality and delusion so we have to keep them from straying.
I don't know how the trio does it, especially Taiki and Nene. To live between mortals and spirits is not easy, more of a curse than a blessing to many. For people like them, they have no choice but to fulfill their roles - Taiki in damage control and Nene in being the communicator. And for Haru, being a spirit who voluntarily chose to stay in the world of the living after being bound to one through a curse, I can't imagine that being easy on him either. There's a lot to unpack with these three and whether I'll get to know the full story or not, it's clear that there's a lot on their shoulders.
Like I said, there's always a price to pay when it involves things beyond our understanding. I just hope that it was worth it. Me being cautiously optimistic, I'd like to think it was or else they wouldn't be together.
The Whispering Winds trail, as expected, was full of perils. On one hand, it was kinda good that I was kept in the dark in an ignorance is bliss sorta way. But that also makes it a bit harder to know exactly what's going on. In a place where the spirit world and mortal world becomes blurred, it gets disorienting, to put it simply. We know we're there when us mortals can see some spirits so it's important to keep our guard up.
There's a reason why they call this trail the Whispering Winds. I heard voices from all around - it wasn't a pleasant experience, to say the least. It was jarring at first but then I grew numb to it. Still, it was an unsettling feeling - 0/10 do not recommend. This is why it's best to go in a group because unexpected things will happen so it's better to be (over)prepared.
In between exorcism rituals we did a bit of sightseeing, which helped lighten the mood. Haru introduced us to some spirits he knew to be harmless and they served as guides through areas they were familiar with. Taiki and Nene did most of the heavy lifting when it came to the rituals while the rest of us stood guard. From what I've seen, it looks like a lot of work - the kind of thing you should leave to the professionals.
All around us were these blue light orb things - spiritual remnants that serve as trail markers according to Haru. Depending on the traces the remnants can leave behind, Nene can manipulate them to open up new pathways. The deeper we go into the trail, the harder it is to navigate as it's supposed to be like that for good reason. Nene's the only one who can directly interact with stuff like that so people like her are the ones who really are granted access to forbidden parts such as these. According to Haru, he and Taiki can't touch them because it can cause trouble due to their blood - meaning it's off limits for exorcists and spirits.
The light orbs also gave us some much needed visibility as well as an eerie glow. When things got quiet, it sorta felt like we were just walking down a long, dimly lit path. When things start to get a bit hazy, that's when it was time to investigate. The feeling is heavy, almost suffocating - a heavy burden to bear indeed. When the heaviness is gone, we move forward, going as far as we can before hitting a dead end. From there, our trek is over and instead of venturing a different path, we go back the way we came, careful not to disturb the newfound peace.
It was an interesting experience - again, it's probably for the best that I don't know too much about it. There's a whole 'nother world out there with exorcisms, spirits, psychics...as curious I am about these sorts of things, I respect that it's not my place when it comes to certain aspects. It's a fascinating world out there but we can't experience or begin to understand certain things that are beyond our scope. It sucks sometimes being just a bystander or outsider but it is what it is.
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fyeahtashirokun · 3 years
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[UPDATE] Tashiro-kun, Kimi tte Yatsu Wa Drama CD Cast Interview + Pictures!
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We’re back with a fun new update; the cast interviews for the Tashiro-kun drama CD have been released by the BLCD CEL Twitter and the B-Boy P Tashiro-kun website! They said it’s to commemorate Ebihara’s birthday, which is 11/26 (today), so happy birthday to everyone’s favourite cute stubborn shrimp boy! o(≧▽≦)o 🦐🎂🧡 Keep reading for photos and the full interview! (machine-translated with me tweaking it as best as I could 🙌 )
First photo (from the left): Toshiki Masuda (Tashiro) and Yoshitsugu Matsuoka (Ebihara) | Second photo: Tomokazu Sugita (Bannai) and Yusuke Shirai (Sega) | Third Photo: Chiharu Sawashiro (Shikaku) and Koutarou Nishiyama (Maru)
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Interview:
—Please tell us your impressions of the Tashiro-kun drama CD!
Yoshitsugu Matsuoka (Ebihara): The original manga was very interesting, and I was wondering how the CD would turn out, but the recording was also so much fun (laughs). For a moment, I felt like my younger self again. I felt like I fully brought out my real personality.
Toshiki Masuda (Tashiro): By the time I realized I had gotten attached to Ebihara-kun, played by Matsuoka-san, the recording was already over! There are some exciting scenes, but the mood of the funny playful scenes that start suddenly are comfortable. Maru and Shikaku are a must-see in both the manga and the drama CD! Also, Matsuoka-san and I were discussing the mystery of Bannai’s hairstyle. When I looked at the cover of the original comic and saw what was inside later...I was shocked! Overall, it was a memorable and fun recording that went by quite fast.
Yusuke Shirai (Sega): It’s very fun, with a lot of gag taste. I’m playing someone in a university setting, but I never went to university myself, so I was doing the recording while thinking, “this looks fun.” It was a bit regrettable that although the recording was with 4 people (me, Sugita-san, Nishiyama-san & Sawashiro-san,) due to COVID-19 and the studio’s safety precautions, I did my recording in a separate booth from everyone else. I could hear their voices but it was lonely since I couldn’t see them. It can’t be helped...(laughs). However, it was a lot of fun because the four of us could still talk to each other during this time.
Tomokazu Sugita (Bannai): It was a wonderful recording that made the best use of each of the actors’ strengths. Regarding the content, there were some character-specific biases, such as Comiket, the manga research club, and doujinshi. It was a task to bring my real intentions and feelings to the character of Bannai.
Kourarou Nishiyama (Maru): It was really fun. When I first saw the character Maru, I kept wondering what kind of voice I should make. He looked really cute, so I thought it would be nice if I did it with a slightly deformed atmosphere.
Chiharu Sawashiro (Shikaku): I enjoyed playing the character Shikaku. I don’t usually play these types of characters, so it was a good experience. I had a lot of fun!
—Please give us your impressions of the character you played.
Matsuoka: No, I understand, I understand!* (I believe here he means he understands Ebihara’s stance) but Tashiro-kun isn’t a bad guy, so why not be a little more careful with him? It feels a little childish like that. Again, I understand his feelings, but no need to get so mindlessly angry! He felt like a passionate person who was always worried. I thought it was cute for me as an actor.
Masuda: He has a slight communication disorder, but it’s fine because he can still speak to people politely. I’m not good at speaking myself, so I can understand how nervous he is. He also can’t help but get nervous in front of his favourite person. Even so, how is he such a rich guy?
Shirai: Sega is so handsome that everyone calls him “Handsome-kun,” but he’s found to have a pretty bad mouth, yet he’s a charming and funny character with a wide range of mood swings. When I read the manga, there was a part where Sega said a tsundere-like line to Bannai, and I thought, “Oh, yeah, Sega likes Bannai...”. Oh, it was just for a moment, but I found out later that wasn’t the case at all, and that he was instead attracted to Ebihara-kun...(laughs).
(*This next part was translated really weirdly, so I tried to make out the general idea as best as I could.)
Sugita: Bannai’s a leader, and so I was asked to give a play of leadership, but I was consciously putting together the performance so that it wouldn’t be heard as an advisor or teacher. On the contrary, I adjusted it while thinking that playing with calmness seems to be getting old (in an bad way.) It’s boring to think that’s something’s interesting just because it’s a gag, so I played Bannai with that in mind.
Nishiyama: As you can imagine from the name Maru* (means circle/round in Japanese) his appearance matches his name. He has a healing atmosphere, kinda like a mascot, and in a good way, I felt like he was a character I could stay at my own pace with. There was a scene where I had to sing an idol song, but when I consulted Chiharu-kun, I was able to sing it very happily. Thanks to this scene, I think that our good teamwork showed, including Maru, Shikaku and Bannai who made it exciting (laughs).
Sawashiro: Since he’s an introverted yet hardcore character, Shikaku’s heart is quite rosy, but I was conscious of not exposing it too much. In the song scene that Nishiyama mentioned earlier, I thought it would be great if I could jump over a little and make it an interesting scene, so I hope you’ll pay attention to it.
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—Great! Give us your recommended points for listening in the CD.
Matsuoka: I would like you to thoroughly hear all the exchanges with Tashiro-kun! I think you’ll laugh a lot. If you listen to it with the manga in mind, I think you’ll get a synergistic effect (laughs).
Masuda: Somehow I love it, but I’m a little nervous. There are many nerve-wracking scenes, but it’s a work with a lot of playful points, so please pay attention to that as well! It’s very interesting to hear the important points and the atmosphere!
Shirai: I think the axis of this work is the exchange between and Ebihara and Tashiro, or more specifically the change in Ebihara’s emotions, who initially aggressively refused Tashiro-kun, then comes to accept him. Amongst them, Sega’s meddling is one of the factors that affects the relationship between those two, so I hope you enjoy that part as well. When I first saw the cast list, I thought, “Wow, all the roles are so fitting!” Sugita-san fit Bannai very nicely, Kotarou has a round voice like Maru, and Chiharu has a square voice like Shikaku, so I really thought everyone would fit nicely (laugh). It’s a work where you can enjoy every other character alongside the main two, so I hope you’ll enjoy it as a whole.
Sugita: Asking the for voice actor’s favourite listening spot would kinda feel like negligent promotion. I think it’s more appropriate to have the original creator give their opinion on which lines you’d want to hear most. If the voice actor decides, there are people who will take it to heart and pay attention to only that, and as a result there’s a bias. When you say “this part,” everyone will think “only this part,” since it creates this persuasive power. On the contrary, if the listeners themselves send their own impressions with opinions like “this is the best part to listen to” to the creator, it’ll go through more clearly, so please send them.
Nishiyama: I think that the harmonious and fun atmosphere of this work will be very healing in this tense situation, so I hope everyone will enjoy the mood.
Sawashiro: Even if you see the the mellow atmosphere of the Manken,* (Manga research club) it will be soothing, so I hope you enjoy the loose feeling.
—“I’m a [blank] otaku!” Please tell us what kind of otaku you are and why!
Matsuoka: I’m a car otaku. Mainly for car contents. I’ve been collecting a lot of car magazines since I was a junior high student, so I’m kinda obsessed when it comes to cars. But I don’t have a driver’s license.
Masuda: Body otaku. I want to have fun and lose weight, so I tend to gather information to enjoy everyday. Before I noticed, I began to gain trivia-like knowledge about the body, so I think I’m more familiar with it.
Shirai: I wonder if I’m a green otaku. I really like the color green. Especially for clothes. I search up the color green on the net. If I find my favourite green coloured place in the city, I’ll be fascinated by it. I feel like this obsession is getting stronger year after year, and I’m afraid that the whole house will turn green at this rate. However, I think it’s better to be particular about what you like, so I’d like to continue to be a green otaku.
Sugita: I don’t really like the word “otaku.” I try not to label myself based on what I like or love. It’s different when it comes to “look at yourself playing a game,” and “look at yourself when you’re talking about your favourite idol.” When there’s differences, the essence of what you want will change, so I don’t like using these words too much.
Nishiyama: Soybeans are what I always consume in my daily life. I really like beans, so I eat natto, tofu, soy milk, and isoflavones. That’s why I choose soy milk over milk (laughs). I feel like I’m made of bean ingredients...I’ve just noticed that that’s another connection to Maru* (laughs). (I think he means because beans are round, like Maru.)
Sawashiro: I’m not an otaku, but I like natto and kimchi. Ever since I was a student, I’ve been eating natto and kimchi with everything my mother makes at home. Then, my mother told me “you don’t care about my seasoning...” with a sad face (laughs).
—Please give a message to your fans.
Matsuoka: The cast members also gathered with unique people (laughs). I hope you can enjoy this romantic comedy to your heart’s content by laughing and laughing again when feeling sad! Thank you!
Masuda: I expressed the humor I felt reading the original with my voice as much as possible. I hope you can enjoy the occasional thrilling development of people who are so unique with the drama CD!
Shirai: I don’t want to force you guys. Rather than aiming for perfection, I was conscious of finishing it first. If the doujinshi drawn by Bannai wasn’t something he wants to draw from the bottom of his heart, he wouldn’t be so happy. As the years go by, these memories become more and more interesting when I look back. I feel something close to the CD and I want to cherish it. If you listen to this CD after 10 or 20 years, it should be absolutely interesting, so about 30 years later, it’ll be like “Tashiro-kun, Kimi Tte Yatsu Wa UPRISING,” so let’s meet then.
Nishiyama: I had a lot of fun doing it. It’s really easy for BL beginners to get into, and I think it’s a very healing work. To be honest, I’m full of feelings for this series, where I really wanna do the continuation, see it and listen to it. I hope everyone enjoys it a lot and tells us what they think. Thank you.
Sawashiro: It’s the story of a college student, and I’m really young. I think you can really understand that we are absorbed in what we want to do and that all the characters have something glittering inside. I hope you can feel youthful while listening to this. Thank you.
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—Thank you to the whole cast! The drama CD “Tashiro-kun, Kimi Tte Yatsu Wa.” will be released on January 20th, 2021! The second volume of the manga will also be released on the same day. Please look forward to it ♪
I hope you guys enjoyed this interview! Again, I tried translating it the best I could with the help of Google, so I hope you guys were able to get the gist of it. I’ll also be posting the audition videos in a bit (untranslated, unfortunately) so stay tuned for that! Are you guys as excited as I am for the CD? All the voices sound so great so far, it’s gonna be great (≧∀≦)
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another-sonic-blog · 4 years
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The Fanfictioner
Prologue
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Synopsis: Amy Rose secretly writes fanfiction out of the not so famous 'Sonic Boom' show in which she and her friends are the main actors. Everything was fine, filming the show and then writing. However, everything changed when the famous actor, Shadow the Hedgehog, showed up to participate in the show. Just like Amy, Shadow hides a secret. He loves to read fanfiction but will never admit that out loud. Shadow one day stumbles upon Amy's fanfiction and without knowing, they develop a friendly bond over comments, likes and messages of support. On work, Shadow and Amy have a normal co-worker relationship that will never develop more than that.   They fight in real life but are best-friends online. Will they ever find out each other's identities? And if they do, will things change between them?
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When the romantic movie ended, Amy just couldn't stop thinking about the great acting in 'The Forest of Dreams.' Her friends and she had decided to get together for a well deserve movie night after battling Eggman for the whole week. With the hopes that he wouldn't burst into Hedgehog Village as he usually does. "It's a shame that we ended up seeing that indie movie ..." Sonic said as he opened the door to exit the movie theater. "I wanted to see Chao in Space!" "Yeah, too bad they ran out of tickets. Critics say that it is one of the best movies in the last decade." Tails looked around his group of friends, making sure that no one was missing. Nonetheless, he noticed that his pink friend was awfully quiet, looking at the ground. "Everything alright Amy?" As if his words didn't reach her ears, Amy kept looking down at the ground, silent. This time, Sonic noticed Amy's unusual mannerism and decided to investigate. "Amy?" Sonic's voice was all that she needed to get back to reality. The rosette hedgehog snapped her head and met emerald eyes. "Yes?" "You are very quiet ... That's not like you." Sonic said. Team Sonic had already begun their journey to go back home. It was late at night but the village's light poles gave them enough illumination to know their path. Walking through the village, they encountered a few Mobians still out, doing their thing and helping the atmosphere to be more vivid. "Sorry, I was just thinking about the movie ... The acting was amazing, wasn't it?" The pink one had a soft smile placed on her face, showing her excitement. "The actors were so young too, they look around our age ... 17 and they are so talented already." "I have to admit that batgirl was very beautiful." Knuckles let out an enamored sigh. "Yes and her acting was admirable," Amy said. "But the one that got my interest was that black hedgehog ... He indeed will become a great actor soon." Without the pink hedgehog knowing, Sonic rolled his eyes in annoyance. There was only one hedgehog she could fangirl about and that was him. "He was alright, I could do better," Sonic said. "I mean he was in an indie movie that's no big deal. I am sure we could all do it ... Right Sticks?" Sonic looked over at his badger friend who was way too quiet. Such an unusual thing of her. "Don't look at me, I fell asleep during the whole movie," Sticks said. "But if we ever become actors, I would love to be in Chao in Space." The team had come to a sudden stop, they had reached the end of the village. This is where they would part ways to their own perspective homes. "Good luck with that, I read that the casting process to get actors for Chao in Space is extremely difficult," Tails said as he faced his friends. "Two years ago, the directors conducted castings all over the world .. Out of thousands of participants only three main actors made it." "Ha, see Ames! There's no way that black hedgehog with average acting skills would be in a movie like Chao in Space." The blue hedgehog looked at the pink one and for the first time in a long time, he saw that Amy was utterly offended. For someone that she doesn't even know nonetheless. "I see great potential in him!" Amy said, her voice raises a little. "I bet he will become a great actor! I dare to say he will be in Chao In Space 2!"
. . . When the pink one got home, she immediately showered, got into her pajamas, and laid on her comfortable bed with her laptop on her lap. She began to browse more things on the 'The Forest of Dreams.' She found interesting things. For example, the name of the beautiful bat protagonist was Rouge the Bat. And then the black hedgehog's name appeared ... Shadow the Hedgehog. He was the co-protagonist and in all honesty, it was been a while since Amy felt such admiration for someone. Could you blame her? Shadow was an excellent actor. His profound words as he confessed his undying love to the protagonist were just ... So pure. It wasn't only the dialogue but the way he delivered the message. More than anything, Amy felt her heart skip a beat at each word he said. As if his confession was meant for her.
His words were strong and too real ... way too real. As if Shadow the Hedgehog was actually in love with Rouge the Bat.
And so this began.
Amy of course knew of the many wonders of the internet. One of them were fandoms and within fandoms were content creators.
The pink one wasn't unaware that many content creators wrote fanfiction. After all, Team Sonic had its own base of fans. They were the heroes of the village and Mobius nonetheless, always defending it against Eggman and other villains. So, it was natural that stories about them would be written. She read many of them especially the SonAmy ones, her guilty pleasure.
Although she had never written a fanfiction, Amy felt different about this one. In 'The Forest of Dreams' the ending was a cliffhanger. Amy desired more than anything than to provide a good conclusive ending. She had written before but only for school projects like essays and creative writing but never like this ... Never for a fandom.
Was it strange? That she wanted to see more of the exceptional romantic development between Rouge and Shadow?
Amy didn't care, it was just for fun. What was the harm in that?
And so ... Amy began to write.
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"Shadow, what are you doing?"
On the other side of the island, a tiny wooden house in the middle of the forest emitted enough light to be seen in the night.
"Reading a story."
The black hedgehog responded, not leaving his eyesight away from his phone.
"Since when do you read?"
"Someone has to do it in this house."
The black hedgehog who was comfortably sitting on his sofa was greeted suddenly by the warmness of a beautiful blue-eyed bat.
"Our movie was released a few weeks ago ... Do you think we did well?" Rouge asked as she tried to get a peek of Shadow's phone but she was slow and Shadow was fast to close the internet tab.
"We won't know until next week when our producer calls us ... Hopefully, we get enough money to repair Omega." Shadow said as he looked over to the dining table where robot parts laid scatter across the wooden table. Shadow frowned as he saw Omega's head, immobile and without life. He was still inside there but Omega won't be the way he was until reparations were made.
"We really messed up on the last mission ... Didn't we?"
Rouge's voice was soft and she showed such concern that it made the black hedgehog's heart shrink a bit. Shadow let out a heavy sigh, he hated to see the white bat like that and although he would often disagree, there was no option but to affirm her assumption this time.
"We did ... That's why we are never going to steal again ... Never." Shadow said as he felt Rouge leaning her head on his shoulder and he didn't mind the act at all.
"... I wanted to steal a Chaos Emerald."
The black hedgehog let out a small smirk as he placed his arm around Rouge's shoulders. "I promise that one day I'll give you a Chaos Emerald and I'll give Omega one of those lie detectors he wants."
"Hopefully, this acting thing comes out alright ... I mean all of those years acting to survive and steal must pay off in this movie we made."
   Small memories crossed the white bat's mind. She remembers all of those times as a child that she and Shadow acted on street plays to get a few coins to eat something. More recent memories of them acting like business people, politicians, and regular folks also popped in her mind. All of that just so their stealing missions could go smoothly and unnoticed.
How Rouge, Shadow, and Omega met was a very interesting story, one that will be told at another time.
"Let's hope for the best."
   A few minutes passed in which Shadow and Rouge shared it in complete silence. The dark hedgehog looked over his shoulder in which he found Rouge completely asleep. With his phone still on his hand, he opened once again the previous internet tab he had before.
It was just a matter of time before his curiosity overtook him. As far as the internet said, 'The Forest of Dreams' was an excellent film even if it was an independent movie. Even art and small stories were already created in honor of the film.
Eventually, he found himself on a page called fanxfiction.com. An internet page where writers could write whatever they wanted online and others could interact with these authors by liking, sharing, and commenting on their work.
Shadow scrolled through the webpage and a story caught his interest. The synopsis was captivating , the tale was about an alternative ending to the movie's original ending.
The Forest of Dreams: A Love Story.
By A Rose Without Thorns
And so ... Shadow began to read.
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A/N: I want to thank @redsunlight​ for the amazing artwork! Please go check out her artwork! 
The first chapter is coming out in a couple of minutes I just need to upload it in here. I recommend following me on Wattpad since Tumblr can be complicated at times and won’t let me upload. 
Also there’s a new chapter coming out for ‘By Accident’ really soon!
Next: https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/621393925974999040/the-fanfictioner-ch1 
Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/PeachesAndReams 
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My take on feminine enbodyment and female empowerment
This concept of modern feminism and pushing men out of the picture affects me differently than the average woman, because I was raised without a dad. When my mom adopted me and my other siblings, she never got married and instead asked her best female friend to step in and help raise all four of us. I was very loved, but I felt that absence of a father all my life. It affected nearly every part of my childhood and teenage years, and it continues to affect my adult life. I wanted to get a boyfriend and eventually get married, but the only constant guy in my life was my older brother. Therefore, I had very few examples of what respectful, good, masculine men looked like.
When I was a sophomore in college, my roommate at the time showed me a YouTube channel called Blimey Cow, and they had made a video called “Ten Ways to get the Right Guy to like You.” I hadn’t thought about this video or this channel in a few years, because they primarily make Christian content.  I’m not a Christian anymore, nor do I agree with all the beliefs of Christianity. However, I decided to go back to this video two days ago, because I remembered how these creators directly challenged how our culture defines female empowerment. Specifically they used this video to present that challenge, with an emphasis on noting the difference between female liberation and female objectification. Some of the suggestions they made to help girls find the right guys included showing interest in their hobbies, supporting their local chivalry, letting the guys in their lives know they appreciate them, putting less emphasis on how much skin they show and more emphasis on who they are as a person.  As a 20 year old college kid, these young content creators made a bigger impact on my views on men, women and the hyper-sexual movement than I would have thought. As a result, their video gave me the nudge to dive deeper into this topic through writing.
When you first learn of the term “female empowerment”, it sounds attractive enough: women being seen as a force to be reckoned with, authoritative, strong leaders who are goddesses in nearly every way. Rather than being stuck at home to take care of the kids, women are encouraged to pursue their career dreams, step into more masculine leadership roles and “be the boss”, for lack of a better term. It all sounds appealing until you start to dig deeper into what’s behind the phrase “female empowerment.” One big part of how I discovered this occurred last summer.
In July of 2020, I chose to invest a serious amount of money to an online holistic sex course. It was called Well-F*cked Woman, created by a woman named Kim Anami. Through using the tools learned through this six week course, Kim claims to have helped thousands of people all over the world, especially women, to connect with the untapped power of their sexual energy. She believes that a big reason why people are as stressed, unhealthy and unhappy as they are is because they’re not having the right kind of sex. Moreover, they’re not having the right kind of sex often enough. Whether you’re in a couple or single makes no difference. If you want to gain body confidence, get orgasms or even heal ancestral trauma, Kim claims this course would teach you how to obtain all those things by utilizing your sexual energy.
When I read the information on it, I became very intrigued. After several days of listening to her podcasts and reading her blogs, I became more convinced that this course could be a big help for my personal well-being.  At the time, my goal was to use the course to heal some of the imbalanced sacral energy I still had. Hopefully, it could even heal some ancestral wounds I carried in my DNA. If I achieved that, finding a romantic partner would be more of a bonus than a direct goal. So when I received the stimulus check from the government, I used that money to pay for the course and one of Kim’s jade yoni eggs.
For each of the six weeks, we would get a video with a written syllabus to discuss different topics, most of which revolved around sex. One week we would focus on self-love practices, one week we would talk about the relationship between sex and money, another week we learned about food, etc. In that first week, I began the exercises easily enough. However, I also started to feel very conflicted about the information we received in this course. For example, in the syllabus about self-love, one of the first statements Kim made about women is that “most have rape fantasies.” Admittedly, I didn’t really understand what that meant or what it was, until a friend told me. Once I did understand it, it bothered me deeply, to say the least. As someone who claimed that her work helped heal women’s sexual trauma, to hear Kim make such a statement right off the bat made me feel uneasy.
In a separate journal, I had written down my progress of the course and some of the conclusions I had made about what it taught and about the woman who taught it. In one entry, I had observed that it seemed to take a lot of money to become a “well-f*cked woman”, by Kim’s standards. If needed, it could possibly add up to hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars. For instance, if you wanted to use a jade egg as a sexual healing tool, that cost $300. The six week course itself cost almost $1000. Kim also recommended using therapy injections to change your neural pathways, if you were a victim of sexual trauma.  Just getting one injection is expensive enough, but if you “need” more than one injection or appointment, that will add up fast. Sadly, such treatments are not easily accessible to everyone who wants sexual healing. It certainly wasn’t for me.
Additionally, a recurring message that came up in the course was that it’s important for couples to have sex more than once a week. In this case, it wasn’t talking about the faster paced sex described as being numb and fleeting. On the contrary, Kim wanted us to aim for the slower, orgasmic, breath focused sex where you’re working to maintain and build up a flow of sexual energy. While in some ways, this course educated people on sex differently than our modern culture, some aspects seem pretty similar to me. For example, one night stands are still seen as acceptable situations to practice generating this energy. We were encouraged to practice sex acts two to three times a week, to the point of becoming sex addicts. Also, even though Kim frowned upon pornography, we were still taught to utilize BDSM as a way to create polarity in our relationships. This was to make sure that “spark of passion” was maintained for the long term. Lastly, Kim would sometimes demonstrate problematic double standards when it came to showing examples of how to respect your partner. In one of her stories about “helping” her partner become confident with himself, she talked about making a point to touch his private parts in public, whether he was okay with it or not. If not, she claimed “it was his problem.” In my opinion, if they’re genders had been switched, she would have been called out for her disrespectful behavior immediately among the group.
In this class, Kim discouraged us from using substances like alcohol and drugs during the practice, because of how they damage the body. On the other hand, she promoted addictions to sex as something positive, as something to attain for as a human being. Whether you are in a couple doing the act or you’re a single adult who’s just masturbating, you were encouraged to have some kind of sex several times a week. According to Kim, it needed to get to the point where you felt you couldn’t go about your day without generating this energy. “What an addiction does is that it causes you to stop thinking,” says Michael Knowles, who was a guest on the Candace Owens Show discussing modern feminism.  “It enslaves you. It makes you prone to certain behavior, and when you’re not thinking, that’s when the people who want to grab power can come in and force it on you.” Too much of anything can be detrimental for your well-being, on all levels.  During a time where protection of boundaries for my spiritual life had become very important, this way of thinking pushed me to discover what kind of boundaries I had and to stick to them. In this case, it lead me to the conclusion that if being like Kim meant being addicted to sex, disrespecting the men I care about, and using methods of sexual control for the sake of “polarity”, then I would rather not be like her at all.
With all that being said, I believe the big question is this: how exactly does the WAP culture of free sex and female empowerment differ from the holistic sex culture I learned about in the summer of 2020? How does our pop culture differ from the Well-F*cked Woman course, in how we’re being educated about sex? In my opinion, one culture pushes the more superficial, fleeting benefits of sex in our faces, while the other pushes for using sex and sexual energy as a way to harness untapped power. This power can, supposedly, be used to energize us, heal our bodies, and manifest things into our lives. Regardless, both cultures seem to be more concerned with using sex to gain power than using it as a means to express true love.  Both cultures seem to encourage women to “embrace their femininity” by leaving their underwear off more often. Both cultures seem to promote double standards on how partners should respect each other and their boundaries. Both cultures still push us to become addicted to sex in order to have a fulfilled, happier life, because according to them, every aspect of our lives will disintegrate without it.
As a result of the lockdown, last year turned out to be most isolating time for us, and it was intense enough to put many people into a deep state of depression. At a time when everyone is stuck online and forced to keep further apart, this is when people in the online sex business—holistic or otherwise—will benefit the most from that loneliness. They can use it to make those profits and fill their own pockets. This becomes more obvious when you observe their marketing tactics, including the ones I noticed for Kim Anami’s website: unless you give me your money and do what I tell you to do, you will never be “well-f*cked.” Everything in your life will deteriorate unless you become “well-f*cked.” You will be a brainwashed zombie forever, easily manipulated, unless you become “well-f*cked.”As my friend Lee Yun would say, “These tactics are designed to create an empty void in people that can’t be filled.” In the cases of some individuals, even if they were to try, it would cost them more time, money and energy than they were lead to believe.
For those of you who wonder if I still keep up with the practices I learned from this course, I haven’t. At least, I haven’t kept up to the degree that would be necessary. My jade egg is sitting on my altar collecting dust, even as I write this. Because of the amount of money I spent to buy the egg, this is not something I’m proud to admit. A jade egg is a sacred, special tool that deserves to be put to use for the highest good, and eventually, I will find a teacher that can help me do so. I just don’t want to have to conform to this holistic “WAP” standard to get there.
Surprisingly, by reflecting on my past through watching Blimey Cow’s videos, I realized there are still some values about sex, intimacy and femininity that I learned as a teenage Christian that matter to me now as an adult witch. In my opinion, sex is something very sacred that should not be taken so lightly, because of how it connects you to your partner in an intense, physical and spiritual way. For me, I take it seriously enough to still choose to wait until I get a husband and to choose not to masturbate. Additionally, when I do have sex with my lifelong partner, it will be as much about him as it will be about me. This means respecting and honoring him as a man as well as I know how. In my opinion, if you encourage people to use something like sex to attain higher spiritual goals, but neglect to show basic respect to your partner’s boundaries about his body, then in the words of Jordan Taylor from Blimey Cow, “you’re doing it wrong.”
 Michael Knowles interview with Candace Owens on the Candace Owens Show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejWIEMs8ecg
Blimey Cow’s YouTube video, “Ten Ways to Get the Right Guy to Like You”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqF_PtugyBk
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