#and his feelings regarding these two

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer OT3 Week, Day Two: The Cool Kid, The Jock, And The Nerd

OT3 Week (as per @ot3-week) continues with a prompt that definitely seemed suited for a High School AU -- "The cool kid, the jock, and the nerd!" I think we can all agree that would be Smiler, Alice, and Victor respectively. :p At any rate, here's a high school version of the trio hanging out together at lunch -- with Victor having a rather important question for Smiler...

--

“...why do you hang out with me?”

To Victor’s horror, Smiler looked up from their sandwich, confirming that he had indeed said that out loud. “Because...I like you?” they said once they’d finished chewing and swallowing. “Do I need a better reason than that?”

“I – um, it’s just...” Shut up shut up shut up – but now that the door had been opened, Victor found himself plunging onward, needing to know. “You’re easily the popular, well-liked person in this school. The coolest of the cool kids. People think you’re the greatest – and you are!” he hastened to add, waving his hands. “You’re funny, and friendly, and you really s-seem to take an interest in e-everyone – anybody and everyone likes to hang out with you! You could be friends with anyone! And – and I’m–” Victor swallowed, trying to find the words. “I’m – n-not that. I’m – me.”

Smiler gave him a long look – the kind of look that suggested some kind of “Victor Is Having Self-Esteem Issues Again” alarm was going off in their head. Then they put down their sandwich in favor of taking his hand. “And I like you,” they repeated, looking Victor in the eye. “Even if you’re nothing like me. Especially since you’re nothing like me! I don’t need another me in my life – I’ve already got me! But I didn’t have a ‘you’ until I met you. And now I do.” They shot him one of those stunning grins. “And I’m very happy about that.”

“I...” Victor pulled at his tie, trying not to think about how warm Smiler’s hand felt against his. This wouldn’t be half as hard if I hadn’t had a very enlightening dream about my romantic tastes last night, he groused to himself. Why couldn’t this have happened before I realized I had a crush? “I just – don’t get it? W-why you would want a me?”

“Well, for starters–”

“What’s going on?”

Victor looked up as Alice (aka the other person that he was crushing on, and who hopefully would never find out that fact) came over, carrying a tray. “I mean, I can guess from context that Victor just had a self-loathing moment, but fill me in on the specifics,” she continued, sitting down.

“Not much to fill in – Victor just asked me why I hang out with him, and I’m in the process of reminding him that he doesn’t have to be one of the ‘cool kids’ for people to like him,” Smiler told her.

“Ah.” Alice picked up a chip and popped it into her mouth. “Well, allow me to second the sentiment. I personally find ‘cool’ is often overrated.”

“Maybe, but...I-I just have a hard time seeing the a-appeal of me,” Victor said, looking between them. “Especially – Smiler, like I said, you’re already the most popular kid in school. You don’t need to hang out with someone like me if you want company. And Alice – you’re smart, you’re witty, you have an amazing imagination – oh, and you’re an incredible fencer. The absolute star of the team!”

“I’m also the girl who most people avoid because she spent the majority of her childhood in supervised hospitalization after her family died in a horrific house fire,” Alice retorted, taking a swig from her bottle of soda. “And the one who still talks to invisible creatures on the regular, because so far every medication I’ve tried has had side effects that just are not worth it. Just because I’m like, three percent jock doesn’t mean my social life is any better than yours.” She jerked her head to the side. “Do you think I understand why Smiler’s here? They could do damn better than hanging out with the local loony, that’s for sure.”

“What do I have to do to make you both understand I like you and that’s the end of it?” Smiler grumbled, folding their arms.

“Go back in time and stop the murder of my parents and sister,” Alice replied, waving a fry at them.

“Somehow convince my mother that I’m not a complete failure of a human being,” Victor muttered, looking at his feet.

Smiler sighed. “You two sometimes...look,” they said firmly, leaning across the table. “I think you’re both awesome people, all right? Alice, I agree with everything Victor said – you’re intelligent, you’ve got a great sarcastic sense of humor, and you’re frighteningly good with a sword. I respect that a lot. And Victor – you’re kind, and artistic, and really smart yourself! You know so much about butterflies, you could write your own encyclopedia! I’ve learned a lot, hanging around you!”

“Not to mention your piano skills,” Alice said, shooting Victor a little smile that made his stomach do flip-flops. “I know your parents have got you thinking that you’re not worth anything, but – you really are. To us, at least.”

“Yeah – so could you please stop trying to understand why we’re friends with you and just accept it?” Smiler added, reaching over and giving Victor’s wrist a little squeeze. Then they shot him a disarming grin. “Or do I have to kiss you silly to get that to happen?”

Victor felt himself go beet red as a certain bit of a certain dream started replaying itself in his head. “I – uh – you – um–”

“Who put you in charge of kissing him?” Alice asked, with a playful smirk that did not do anything for the images inside his brain. “Maybe I want a go at it.”

“Maybe we should just do it both at once then,” Smiler joked back. “That’d probably reset his brain.”

“...really?”

This time it was both Smiler and Alice blinking that alerted Victor to the fact that, once again, he’d said that out loud. He dropped his head, wincing. Oh no – that’s it, that’s the bridge too far, it doesn’t matter what they said before, me blurting out that I’d be open to kissing both of them at once is sure to make them –

There was another squeeze on his wrist, and he looked up to see Smiler and Alice looking at him with – not disgust, like he’d feared, but simple surprise. And – just perhaps, if he wasn’t seeing things – a bit of interest? Could they possibly... ? “Well,” Smiler finally said with a little wink. “Think that’s a discussion we should have after school.”

Hope alighted in Victor’s heart, chasing all the dark thoughts away. “Yes,” he breathed. “After school.”

#ot3week #valicer #prompt #fanfic #high school au #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler alton #I mean you kind of have to do a High School AU with this prompt #fortunately I already have a High School AU for this trio over on my RP blog #so I was prepared XD #fun fact I originally wrote this from Smiler's POV #but for some reason it just didn't work from that angle #I think it needed the peek into Victor's head to bring home why Victor was asking this #and his feelings regarding these two #like 'you're both amazing so why are you here with ME' #I can confirm from the old Smiler POV version that Smiler DOES have a 'Victor Is Having Self Esteem Issues' alarm in their head #you spend enough time around Victor you get one installed automatically :p #fortunately they're only too happy to help him over these hurdles #Alice too #especially when it leads to potential relationship upgrades ;) #queued

[shorthaltsjester]

the venn diagram of people who actually understand pelor’s complexity and the people who understand vex’s character is a circle and a very small one at that

#it’s about them both being secretly kind hearted with harsh and dickish exteriors to protect the things that matter to them #like. please rewatch c1 and the info we get about pelor in it #where it is reiterates time and time again that pelor faced a significant brunt of the calamity. who watched ioun get struck down. #who shares a plane with sarenrae after her believers were essentially extinguished #and tell me again how his actions (of which we have. still very little info) are unreasonable #they are Absolutely asshole actions #but yknow. vex was also inclined towards asshole actions when her loved ones/the stability of her life was threatened #anyway this isn’t discourse this is just how i feel about two of the fandom things that irritate me the most and their correlation #honestly i don’t super want anymore vm cameos for a While but also i would love a vex one if it was regarding pelors champion stuff #especially now that we won’t have deanna around #vex’ahlia #pelor #the dawnfather #vex’ahlia de rolo #critical role #my posts

[bobbinalong]

i just cannot stand the way bendis writes. if 40% of the page is covered in speech bubbles, maybe cut down the fucking dialogue, dear god

#i'm reading losh 2019 (and finishing it this time so help me god) and i think it's so far the worst here #nothing is happening! all they do is talk! #i'm on issue 9 and two. TWO. in-universe days have passed #everything feels like set-up and the pay-off is a battle that lasts for a page and a half #do not read this #stare at a white wall instead it's more fun #i also read some of his superman and ac which are. not just as bad but also not good in that regard #i think the only thing of his i read and liked is ultimate spider-man. tho i can't remember why i didn't finish this #maybe he was getting annoying. maybe i just got distracted #either way brian michael bendis might be my new worst enemy

[boyfridged]

You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.

Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.

I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.

Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.

oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.

tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.

and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.

first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.

i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.

bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)

i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"

this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.

so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.

the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."

the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.

but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.

so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.

that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.

we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.

the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.

and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.

which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.”  to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.

#AHHH this took me so long for no reason at all. so sorry anon <3 #anyway. i'm obsessed with your observation regarding bruce's focus on robin in the two-face storyline #i've already briefly considered it but you made me go back and reread it #and i just stared at these panels of jason in bed all day for like good 5 minutes thinking. jesus christ. jesus christ #“you spare me *this*?” <- this line is making me feel SICK TO MY STOMACH. #so maybe bruce is right when he says that he made jason like this in tfz. #and jay is of course even more right when he says that he didn't make him. he raised him #also don't apologise for bringing in gotham knights #i actually talked about it some before because it is a very good illustration of bruce projecting on jay #<- i didn't include it here bc my post was getting insanely long. #anyway back on the topic. i think it's so deeply sad that jay genuinely has no idea #that this is what bruce thinks #i think he would be DEVASTATED if he knew the way bruce fixated on the idea of his anger #hm. normal now. #thank you so much for this ask. you can tell i was delighted to answer it <3 #i actually already had a draft about it when you sent it... but i'm sooo slow with editing my word vomit #outbox #jay.zip #jay.txt #dc #jason todd #core texts

[randomwriteronline]

Ko-Wahi was a short variety of generally not necessarily pleasant things: it was desolate, cold, harsh, and - when the winds didn't rush after one another through the icy peaks with low howling shrieks, cutting through the frigid aether like claws of an enormous Rahi reaching out to grasp any wayward Matoran foolish enough to dare wander in its territory - it was abnormally quiet.

So it reasoned that if Kopaka, Toa of Ice and Hating Being Around People, was not found anywhere else, he had to have secluded himself to a place that at the very least resembled the environment he had first felt at home in.

He didn't even flinch at the rush of air that accompanied the stomps which suddenly stopped by his side.

"You're late," he only commented.

The jovial jab Pohatu had ready for him froze in his throat, and he tilted his head slightly in genuine confusion: "Late?" he repeated.

"I expected you to be here five minutes ago," Kopaka replied.

"You were expecting... Me?"

"Of course I was," the other replied matter-of-factly: "If there's something I can depend on, it's the fact you'll chase me down to the ends of the silver sea just because."

The Toa of Stone blinked quickly a few times, eventually smirking back: "And if there's something I can depend on, it's that I'll always find you somewhere snowy and deserted."

He then leaned a little closer and proceeded to add, in a goofier tone: "Like your heart."

The gentle elbow punted in his side made him snicker as he successfully evaded it the first time; he cackled a bit louder when the second jab actually hit.

His friend did not dignify his amusement with any verbal response. Instead, he extended his finger.

Pohatu followed where it was pointing, staring at the same vast expanse of white he had just sped through (luckily without having to skid through any frozen snow - perhaps one of the very few things he certainly did not miss about the island of Mata Nui), and found nothing.

At first.

His pinprick pupils, so used to the desert sun, struggled a little more, trying to tighten even harder or widen ever so slightly: even with the clouds shielding his eyes from the sunbeams turned blinding as they were reflected on the candid coat of snow, the uniformity of the colors confused and unified all that supposedly existed before him with only few exceptions. There was snow, snow, snow, more snow, a leftover Visorak web, even more snow, another patch of snow, something looking vaguely disgusting half covered in snow, some more snow, a lance of light reflected from a point just outside the clouds' range, a vast amount of snow, a smaller amount of snow, snow, snow, and one last puff of snow over there. Riveting!

But Kopaka seldom pointed at nothing at all just to stretch out his finger; and once he truly focused on the exact location he was indicating, Pohatu saw.

He saw a jagged thing, sharp end splintered and jutting towards the sky like a blade, ever so slightly greyer than the pallor surrounding it; he saw its missing half laying mournfully among the powdery ground, defeated, cracked, open wide.

He saw its entrails, eroded by the weather, far too small to properly distinguish one object from the other from this distance - still they glittered grey and blue in the lack of color as if to remind in silent screams of their existence, once, as tools and furniture and inventions of scholars, before they'd found themselves abandoned in the wake of their master's leave as strange crystalline gore only partially hidden away in the haste of a half hearted burial.

He saw dozens of the jagged corpse's kind - once pillars, columns, immense bastions, now nothing more than ruins. Enormous animals frozen in place, never to thaw awake once more.

He saw frail, beautiful exoskeletons awaiting with such tiredness to be crushed, replaced by larvae in the bowels of which knowledge would thrive.

The wind passed between them without strength, not even lifting a snowflake.

"Breath-taking, isn't it," Kopaka murmured.

Pohatu nodded in silence.

They simply stood there for a long time, side by side, looking upon the carcasses of Ko-Metru's knowledge towers.

Looking upon what was left of a city of legends.

There had never been a Matoran called Kopaka, in the Turaga's tales.

He had never competed with Ehrye as they rushed to run errands for the seers in the hopes of one day being allowed to stand beside them at the top of those magnificent crystal constructions, spending days pondering and reading stars, uncovering the secrets of the future to the point of turning the very idea of tomorrow into such a mundane thing; he had never known Nuju, never looked at him with awe, or respect, or burning envy. He had never walked those streets, or skied down those slopes, or travelled to the Colosseum inside of a protodermis chute.

And yet he had found his chest aching as he had listened to those descriptions, from a nostalgia that wasn't his own. As though Vakama and his stories had handed him a coal that had long singed the Turaga's hand, still weakly sizzling, that now burned his palm in turn.

Mata Nui had been all he'd ever known as far as he was concerned. There had been nothing before; and if there had been, it wasn't the land the Matoran had been forced away from.

Yet despite knowing as much, despite the attempts to soothe the dull pain that had no place in his logical mind, in the long last hours he'd gotten to spend on the chiling peaks surrounding Mount Ihu the Toa of Ice had been unable to keep himself from wandering away from the material world into absentminded daydreams, trying to construct a memory that had never been there, a life he had never lived.

He had imagined Ko-Metru many times. He had imagined Metru Nui as a whole many times, the orderly archives, the silvery canals, the smoky furnaces, the dangling cables, the unmoving statues - a world for smaller eyes (like his never had been) to see. He had imagined the Colosseum, its inner mechanisms, even the Vahki guards, despite their presence being nothing but an annoyance at best and a source of uneasiness and dread and outright danger at worst. He had imagined himself getting in trouble with them often - who would they have been, to tell him what to do? What made them any different from a Bohrok?

He had imagined them often, but he had never seen them. Never whole. Never alive.

As he stared at what remained of a city of seers, he ached to have been there. Maybe he would have understood better. Maybe it would have hurt more. Maybe it would have felt more like home.

But would he have noticed? Any of the beauty, the lack of strife? Would he have liked a life such as this, spent either pondering on who knows what, or reading pages of history before they were even written, or running around tirelessly for people who did both former and latter? Would this sight have stirred something deep in him now, or would his amnesia have kept his feelings at a distance?

His chest hurt. Something inside it ached terribly, pushing hard against his muscle and metal, like a fish suddenly rushing to break the still frozen surface of a lake in a bout of claustrophobia.

He felt strange, uncomfortable.

Like something misplaced.

Kopaka's eyes wandered over the crystal towers, suddenly overwhelmed. He let out a shuddering, watery breath, as quiet as he could.

He needed not worry about being heard.

Pohatu was too enthralled by the sight before them to notice his momentary frailty.

He gazed on, unable to tear his his eyes from what his brother regarded as an enormous grave he could not mourn properly, and beheld only a thing of beauty.

It was not the vast expanse of Po-Wahi's desert, nor the infinite lushness of Le-Wahi's jungles, the burnt forests of Ta-Wahi, the Ga-Wahi reefs, the cavernous labyrinths of Onu-Wahi - it could not even compare to the frigid landscape of Ko-Wahi despite all their similarities, and he could tell from a first glance.

Ko-Metru and its siblings could have never been what the Koro of Mata Nui had been - they were not a breathing nook interwoven in the world around them: they were carefully constructed bubbles, encased, entrapped within themselves, the wild nature that once had run through it tamed carefully only to cry out despite its weakened form once the binds upon it had been snapped to pieces and left to rot.

It was not beautiful in the way he knew a land to be; it was not open and grand to the point of being frightening. It was shut on itself, broken, a pale imitation of what it had been.

And yet he found it all so gorgeous.

It had embarrassed him at first - not feeling. Remaining still and unfazed as the Turaga had longingly described what the Toa of Stone should have regarded as home, a field of statues tirelessly carved by artisans of his people. He had struggled to imagine it properly, managing only hazy scorches of some undefined place, like a mirage in the desert; and hearing his brothers and sisters wonder aloud, so curious, of how they would have expected their Metru to be, he'd been all but mortified at his own lackluster enthusiasm.

Had he really grown so self centered? All the world seemed to feel as though it had only started existing with his birth upon that fateful shore.

A city of legends on the other side of the sea... He could not have ever pictured it.

But now he was there, walking upon its streets, traveling across its lands, and it looked nothing like it had been described: it looked shattered and lost, and broken, and rusted, and standing still where it had once stood so proud and shining only to spite the cruelty of time that wanted it to bend and turn leveled.

Pohatu had lost himself between scattered remains of monumental statues, details sanded down until unrecognizable, or filled with what little life could make its home in such a crevice. He has searched between the broken Kanohi nobody had ever melted down again, seeing his and his siblings' likenesses over and over and over and over, he had followed broken cables back to the towers from which they had once served a purpose, raced along empty canals to make a sense of them, peeked into tunnels the roofs of which had been torn open like dissected anthills.

Metru Nui had never been whole, not for him.

It had always been this gorgeous wreck, this beautiful ruined landscape. He could not imagine it as anything less; he could not see it as anything mournful, or dead, or ugly.

Each toppled building was where it should have been. Each destroyed spire was exactly as the Great Spirit had intended it to be.

Such a frail, stubborn, lovely, wild thing.

A tragedy and a celebration.

Glowing brighter than the twin suns with every ounce of its incomplete, breath-taking beauty.

Kopaka felt something tug very gently at his arm. When he turned, he noticed Pohatu still hadn't taken his eyes away from the shimmering remains of the towers.

"Did you want to show me this?" the Toa asked, quietly, quietly.

His friend looked back to the sight before them and swallowed a heavy knot in his throat: "I did," he replied.

The grip on his limb tightened ever so slightly.

Comfortingly.

"Thank you." Pohatu whispered.

Kopaka did not answer.

They looked on.

#bionicle #pohatu #kopaka #metru nui #random writing #second hand nostalgia vs finding beauty in ruins: fight (the opponents start kissing each other tenderly) #in other news hi ive read 7 bionicle books in abt a month and im not even remotely mentally stable about these guys #both of these feelings in regards to the past are ones i experience and consequentially im feeling them abt bionicle too #it was never properly alive for me so im entranced by the story and the works and the fans and everything as someone from After It Happened #but at the same time i feel an ache to have been there at the beginning even though i physically couldnt have been #anyways sorry if stuff is ooc. i love these two lads but ive never written for em before #big shoutout to my friend rabid. i love you. thank you for letting the Fleshy Annotations swallow me whole

[himbeaux-on-ice]

@Canes: A young Caniac lost his ice cream, so Max Pacioretty decided to make it better ❤️

#CANES ADMIN HAS NO REGARD FOR MY HEALTH WELLBEING OR SANITY #if anyone needs me i will simply be passing away. he brought two of his sons along with him. i will not survive #max pacioretty #carolina hurricanes #canes #canes lb #canes said merry shitscram we are gonna shitkick the flyers and nuke your feelings from orbit #also none of you have the context for this but: when i nail a characterization i fuckin NAIL it huh #nobody look at me i am unwell and deceased

[artheresy]

An argument over whether or not Dan Heng is Dan Feng seems to have begun getting sparked again in certain parts of the Fandom and it does nothing but hurt my head to no end

Both sides cherrypicking or treating it like a strange situation, making false equivalents. "Yknow governments don't consider people who've lost their memories to be separate people" that's a flawed argument to use in favorite of DH = DF because it's not just he lost his memories. He literally grew up, experienced his own childhood, had a whole identity cultivated based on those experiences and that life and continues to live his own life. To treat the situation like it's just him getting a bit of amnesia is wild to me

But also I hate when people continue to insist he's running from Dan Feng and his past and how he's miserable and shouldn't ever confront the past and deal with it as if his and Blade's whole stories aren't centered around rebirth and karma, paying for your past life's karma. He needed to confront the past to ensure a freer future! He literally has!! And he will continue to do so because he realizes this, DH isn't dumb and he's grown since we first saw him. He understands

But yeah uh I'm so tired

This whole thing feels very Ship of Theseus. What makes the ship what it is, the physical aspects of its planks, its sailing history, or both?

For him, the question is what makes someone who they are? Is it the body that makes them up and any inherent genetic factors (like traits)? Is it their experiences, how they've grown up, and the identity they've developed in that time? Or is it both factors mixed together?

Personally in the case of Dan Heng, I think it's both! Yeah he has a lot of traits from Dan Feng. There's a lot inherently there. But we can't disregard his own experiences and the identity that has formed based on his history and what he's seen.

Again I can't stress this enough... It is a false equivalent to compare him to people who lose their memories or get amnesia, he didn't just lose those memories. He started life from the beginning, a whole different kind of life. And even then, the amnesia topic comes with its own debates. Isn't there a whole other thought experiment regarding someone put to trial who ends up with amnesia and what their verdict should be?

I guess in the end, it's all up to people's own philosophical beliefs after what constitutes a person. My personal belief that DH and DF will always be connect but the separation between them is also meaningful is something based on my own ideas of what consisitutes a person and their individual identity, similar situation with how I see Rukkhadevata and Nahida as connected but still not the same person exactly. At the end of the day again, it's personal beliefs

But what I can't stand and can't stand by, is someone acting all high and mighty like they're perfectly right and everyone else is wrong, especially when they're cherrypicking or not holding all their evidence to the same standard. According to some ppl, apparently it's better in the CN fandom where instead of treating it like "I'm right you're wrong" people have divided themselves into "DF and DH one person" and "DF and DH two people" groups and most importantly of all, they treat both like theories and just keep to their space and tag which they believe when it's relevant. Why can't we just do that? Why can't we follow in their footsteps instead of bringing up this argument every so often with the same tired flaws from both sides?

#Lore discussion in this community can be so tiring #I wish more people would be open to their viewpoint being challenged instead of believing they can never ever be wrong #And seeing people throw out wild accusations #Like someone saying people are transphobic if they believe dh is df like what? #I get it if you identity with dh and read it as a trans narrative personally even if I dont #Doesn't mean you can call people transphobic over it #I dunno I'm tired #Everything I see this topic I get mad #“He says you're my past in the ichor of two dragons!!” #He also says right after “But you won't follow me into my future” so your point is? #Additionally if we're being 100% real that animation feels like it's less about his rejection and eventual acceptance of DF specifically #It feels more so like his rejection of the role of Imbibitor Lunae given what I've talked about about the DF being there would never say #Any of those things how it's based on his biased view of him and is a projection of things he was told growing up likely #So I'm tired #One of the only good arguments I've ever seen to say DH is DF is in regards to how he clings to DF's old stuff #I have things to say about it personally #But it's a MILES better argument than some of the other ones I've seen and even then my arguments against it would still be an up for #Interpretation kind of thing like the initial argument rather than pointing out someone is looking at the full picture #Again I respect how people see it! Believe what you want to believe about it again it's all about our own perspectives #Just don't be a dick to people on either side if you don't agree with them #Dan heng #Dan feng #Hsr #Honkai star rail

[electoons]

guys this "keeping myself busy with distractions so I don't get sad" thing isn't working

#my mom is basically scrubbing the house of all traces of her bc thats how she copes. thats what she did when dad died #like two days later she was cleaning out all his medical equipment and stuff #i guess thats a way of dealing with it :( just doesnt really work for me because it makes me feel their absence even harder #like for me i personally wanted to keep Dad's stuff around for a while because. idk i guess it just felt like he was still kind of there #in a way. i guess. i dunno #obviously losing a pet is easier to deal with than losing a parent but it still blows dude i hate this #(* a parent that you had a good relationship with. i know that im very fortunate in that regard. not everyone had that and i need to count #my blessings) #idk this feels harder than losing my childhood dog because jojo was basically my constant companion for the past several years #after dad died i got suicidally depressed and didnt leave the house and was unemployed for a good chunk of time and she kept me company #taking her for walks and hikes was the only thing i enjoyed doing and the only thing that got me out of the house. she was always there #(also there's probably some psychological component to the fact that we adopted her specifically to be a companion for dad #when he was wheelchair-bound and couldnt go anywhere. so she kept him company. and then after he died she did the same for me #so. idk. like.... i feel like theres something there lol) #mia.txt #animal death

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

Almost all of the "criticism" (i.e., hatred, bashing) thrown at Disney Princesses comes directly from a fundamental misunderstanding, misinterpretation and misreading of the core message of their stories and their respective characters and journeys.

#disney princesses #disney #meta #disney meta #txt #thankfully dp hate isn't as common now thanks to the multiple defense essays that have been done about them there are still people who #spread nonsensical exaggerated and false narratives about them #don't even get me started on the disney princes #if the disney princesses are unfairly lambasted the disney princes are basically burned alive just because they are the love interest #and everything that is said about them is based primarily on the first two princes and even a bit of phillip #but ever since eric they've been pretty damn unique in their own way (except for john because i don't like him but i don't even think he #should count anyways considering the historical basis of his character. anyways that's another topic for another) #i feel like this specially applies to the first 6 who get the most hatred #specially in regards to cinderella and ariel who are undoubtedly the most misunderstood of all #and they also happen to be two of the most popular princesses #if you think all they have ever thought little girls is to be pretty and wait for somebody to “win” them as their trophy wife you are #pretty damn stupid. how the hell do y'all reach these types of conclusions? #the disney princess has always been defined for her HEART the physical beauty just ACCENTUATES their beautiful soul #they have different ways to show it some are tougher and some are softer but at the core they are all good people #if you don't get that about them ofc you are gonna f*cking hate them with every fiber of your very being #this also has to do with the bastardization of the princess archetype being painted as a spoiled brat as opposed to a kind-hearted selfless #and brave individual #also it's kind of funny that they complain about that when they constantly tell women that all they have to do is be pretty and don't have #to do a damn thing because their existance alone is enough and they don't have to do sh*t in the relationship #SO WHICH ONE F*CKING IS IT????????????? JESUS CHRIST #anyway. rant over

[wonder-worker]

I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the death of her family name.

I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.

Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.

All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:

“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”

Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.

#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die) #elizabeth woodville #woodvilles #my post #to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not) #I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way #writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about #and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually: #the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another; #her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months; #how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old); #how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress; #and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft #(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was) #the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized #what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her. #(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether) #nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens #and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented #and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened #I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be? #apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared' #and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund) #rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least) #more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead #it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly #anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break #her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it #it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall #makes for a great story tho

[liloinkoink]

for lamplight treebark reqs perhaps a little bit of ren coping with and/or coming to terms with that the fact that his love for his paladin is not the expected sort of love that a god would feel for their follower. the differences between the love of a deity and a worshipper and the far more personal, mortal way he loves martyn, beyond his oath and devotion

ty for sending me a lamplight treebark req. this is quite short and only… sorta addresses what you said, but i present it to you nonetheless

The thing about Ren is he wasn’t meant to be a god.

Ren had been born mortal, and though he hadn’t died one, his heart hasn’t changed.

Back during Ren’s prime, Ren had only built a single temple, just so his people knew where to find him. He hadn’t bothered with titles, either—Dogwarts had called him Ren, and his followers had called on him to fix broken fences and enchant children’s toys.

Ren had been a neighbor long before he’d been a god, and he’d preferred it that way. Even as the people he grew up alongside grew old without him, even when the children he watched play became adults, even when those adults introduced him to children of their own.

The first person to call him My Lord is his paladin, and this is only because Ren can’t tell the man his real name.

Unlike most of Ren’s people, Martyn thinks of Ren first and foremost as a god.

He isn’t devout, not really, but Martyn is the first to try holy devotion. He promises offerings from his meals, as transparent as he is with holding back the best for himself. He offers conversation he calls prayer, and it means everything to a lonely flame. He offers an oath, and with it Ren has purpose in a world bereft of the thing he lived and died for.

Martyn believes himself to be paladin to the God of Dogwarts, the once-city’s protector and patron. There are plenty of reasons which Ren thinks him incorrect, but they boil down to a difference in domain.

Ren has not been God of Dogwarts since he lost it—For twenty years, Ren has not been anything at all. Not until a soon-to-be paladin found his tomb and dragged him back from his could-not-be death.

Ren has remade himself once, a god for a city abandoned. He remade himself again, flame without light. Martyn remakes him a third time—revives him, gives him purpose.

These days, Ren fancies himself God of Martyn.

And, well. Ren may be a god, but his heart is still the same as when it was mortal. The blood he bleeds is not ichor, and it runs red as anything that dies—or it used to, anyway, back when he had blood to shed.

Martyn may love Ren as a god, but Ren loves him the only way Ren’s ever known how—like a mortal. Ren has never wanted for offerings or temples or worship. What Ren’s human heart wants from Martyn is simply to stay at his side.

Still. Ren will be his god, as long as Ren can be his.

#lamplight au #i like this ask. i don’t know if Ren quite worries about these kinds of things so it was rlly fun to examine what he DID worry about in #in regards to his godhood and to how he feels about Martyn #anyway this is. so stupid dramatic. but sometimes you just gotta say dramatic shit. that’s what happens when you end up in Ren pov #for the record this took two days bc i kept writing lines and going. that’s too much actually. #and then saving the draft and going to do something else #oink asks #lew writes #lew library

[harukakitous]

Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger | #18:

"Goodness, that's just unfair."

#ohsama sentai kingohger #kingohger #ohsama sentai king ohger #king ohger #gira husty #kaguragi dybowski #suzume dybowski #super sentai #tokusatsu #tokuedit #my gifs #my edit #kagugira real?!?! #i feel like gira has a sense of idolization towards kaguragi #he's willing to call him out on his bs but he still holds him in high regard because he sees him underneath the mask #and kaguragi allows the mask fall just a bit because of that... at least that's what i think #with racules kaguragi has to be toady bc that's the game but with gira there is no game to play #it's just vvvv interesting to unpack because these two are very unconventional as a duo and i want more obviously #there's just something so romantic about having a secret conversation while cherry blossom trees are blooming the background... #tag rant

[kasumikoujou]

everyday i see tieria love and any other innovade hate from the same person, my hate for tieria grows stronger and my love for all other innovades goes off the charts btw

#the sumi rambles #i need to draw them all again!!!!!! not tieria #edit this happens way too often also 😭😭😭😭 this is very personal but i feel like its much easier to like some other innovades- #-compared to tieria so i honestly dont really get it. nena has a fanbase so where's hilings. why doesnt anew have more fans #did revive being the longest lived bar ribbons in s2 mean nothing to you. did ribbons besides as oh hes a good villain mean nothing to you #did bring and divines sympathy for their species and each other (tieria lacking both up until literally s2 end) mean nothing to you #and this is even only regarding the anime. laetitias meant to be the brand new meister and i see people drawing graham in his meister- #-position but not laetitia 😭 i only ever see ppl draw him if other 0988s are there too #while i get it its nice to draw them all together #i dont even think i saw anyone draw laetitia not with another 0988 except for my own drawings and.one (2) more people 😭 #edit edit i cant type in last tag i meant two (2) im stupid and i woke up not long agp its 8am 🙏🙏🙏

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Mmmmmm thinking about Nine the fox walking around with his two bodyguards (Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic) again

The fox and his most devoted halberds who are also possessive bitches

No but like but like I need you to understand

Chaos Sonic who was originally revived to take Sonic's place, to fill the hole in a frienship Nine came to believe as fake, and yet clearly held onto so dearly. Chaos Sonic, who was supposed to be the same as before, except made to be Nine's devoted best friend who would never betray him.

Alpha Grim Sonic who Nine reportedly modeled after the hedgehog he (foolishly) thought of as a friend. A robot copy of Sonic who would not talk back, who would not think, who was only made to serve and protect Nine.

Chaos Sonic, whose time spent with Nine turned programmed allegiance and care into some form of love (obsession and possessiveness)

Alpha Grim Sonic, who was not supposed to think and feel. And yet, with time spent serving Nine and opposing Shadow, he begins to feel and to think (a budding soul forming within his metal frame and existing beyond his programming). A robot created to protect and serve, whose feelings for his creator and master begin to grow over time.

When did his internal drive shift from playing the role of Nine's best friend? When did he begin to resent Sonic for what he did to Nine? When did he begin to want to see Nine happy and safe and accomplished (rather than just simply alive and able to complete his goals)? When did he begin to crave Nine's attention and to make him stop thinking about Sonic?

Wasn't he programmed to be no more than an unfeeling robot, a set of algorithms designed to allow him to fight, protect, serve, and strategize only as needed? Why does he want to hurt Shadow so much (is it really just out of the drive to protect Nine, or is it to make the hedgehog pay?)? He'd follow Nine's orders to the ends of the earth, but why does he worry about Nine when they’re separated? Why has he started to covet Nine's smiles and bouts of happiness? Why does he feel annoyance when Nine converses with Chaos Sonic like he's also not there? Why is he starting to understand why Chaos Sonic resents Sonic, beyond the fact that Chaos Sonic has always fancied replacing him? Alpha Grim Sonic has never wanted to replace the real thing, never understood why Chaos Sonic would, but he's starting to understand jealousy (in the way one begins to feel things they cannot put words to).

Chaos Sonic would tell you it's because he and Nine are best friends. Alpha Grim Sonic would tell you that it's because Nine is his master. Yet, deep down, the two have begun to want to be useful and important to Nine. They want to protect him and see his goals through past any loyalty programming. It does not matter whether such an outcome was inevitable or not (based upon their programming or the holes Nine made them fill in his life), only that they believe that they'd choose this even if Nine tried to let them go.

And Nine... Nine who creates distance between himself and the two robots almost instinctively, as if he's trying not to grow attached (ironic, given the roles he placed the two in, the holes in his life he made them fill after he believed that Sonic had backstabbed him). And yet, just as much as he insists that Alpha Grim Sonic is cold and unfeeling and programmed to serve or that Chaos Sonic is just like that (given the personality programmed into him and his similarities to Sonic) and was programmed to follow orders, he finds himself beginning to value the two as more. He should see them as tools, he tries to think of them as tools. And, yet, over time, the two become irreplaceable agents of his will. He can’t allow himself to believe they really care about them, but he wants them to know that he likes having them around, that no other robot can fill the roles he programmed them for, and no real mobian could be as effective as them (even if it's embarrassing to admit). They become...a comforting presence, especially when he's stuck in the Grim post canon, practically alone, closed off from being able to see Sonic again

Do you get me do you get me?

#sonic prime #sonic the hedgehog #miles nine prower #nine sonic prime #nine the fox #chaos sonic #alpha grim sonic #chanine #nine x alpha Grim sonic #alpha grim sonic x nine #nine x grim sonic #grim sonic x nine #chaos sonic x nine #nine x chaos sonic #crystalbondshipping #crystalbond #For now that's my on the spot Alpha Grim Sonic/Nine ship name #i just be ramblin #Gaaaaah I'm just lowkey obsessed with these relationships that only exist in my head #What's more delicious is that none of these three really know much about love (and Nine and Chaos Sonic barely have a leg up in having some #sort of understanding of best friendship) #So all three of them just have complicated feelings regarding each other. All the robots know is that they want Nine to be happy and healthy #and safe‚ all Nine knows is that he doesn’t want to see them destroyed #‚ and while Nine is coming to terms with wanting those two at his side always‚ the other two know they just want to be beside Nine as long #as they live #And by god the ways Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic mirror and foil each other gets me‚ even down to their design differences and the way #Chaos Sonic was intended to be like Sonic‚ while Alpha Grim was intended to be without personality and feeling #Or even just the way that Chaos Sonic and Alpha Grim resent and have a thing for fighting Sonic and Shadow respectively #But just as much as there's fun in Nine embracing his devoted robots (power thruple)‚ there's inherent tragedy in those two being unable to #escape or surpass Nine's memory and feeling for Sonic the Hedgehog

[raeofgayshine]

At this point I’m starting to think Tim Drake is actually an idiot for how long it took him to figure out he’s bi.

#ravenpuff rambles #Tim Drake #conner kent #Kon El #TimKon #Tim had such a fucking crush on Conner and he didn’t even realize it oh my fucking god #why did dc ever try to convince us he was straight again???? #twice. he did this twice!! in two separate comics published years apart #Tim thought he was dying and just went ‘I wish I could talk to Conner again’ #in YJ (98) #and then in Red Robin he just goes ‘Will I see Conner again? Hope So.’ #i adore Tim. i adore their friendship. but oh my god this is gay. #Tim was in the middle of a breakdown because Bruce was dead and he’s more excited to see Conner in the afterlife? #love this fucking disaster what a guy #also I made this meme entirely for my friends who are into dc stuff but haven’t read a lot of Tim comics #they follow other Batfam members and understandable Tim is just the one that stuck in my head first #I’ve been reading the Red Robin comics and this is part of me chronicling my feelings on the series #of which I have so many oh my god Tim what the fuck #the first half is just an extended breakdown. #so far the second half has just been making me question if he has any regard for his life at all #Kid needs fucking therapy oh my god #i mean I’m glad he’s happier but also he is so fucked up #Though shout out to Alfred who continues to sympathetic to Tim punching Damian in the face #Damian isn’t in this a lot but he is such a little shit whenever he is and I love him so much #ngl I really do want to read the Batman and Robin run with Damian and Dick now because seeing pieces of them work together is so #interesting and I want to see more of it it seems fun

[skoulsons]

hello sorry im still thinking and it’s nearing midnight which means Emotion TM and Rot TM o’clock

this is about ahsoka because I’m incapable of having any other thoughts about anything

also im sorry this is. so long. my Rot never sleeps nor does it care about the word count

Thinking about the “Shin, release her.” “Shin.” But also their relationship in general

Now, we don’t know how long Shin has been with Baylan. I’m not aware of any sort of timeline for how long someone stays as a ‘padawan’ (though, yes, baylan and shin aren’t jedi and aren’t following it the typical way), but shin could be with him for 5+ years at this point. Or maybe just 2 or less, we don’t know.

But what I find so interesting is the trust that’s there. Back in the first episode, Morgan sends Shin to Lothal on her command. Shin is like… master what. And baylan reassures her and tells her to go to Lothal and that she is “looking for Sabine Wren.” Shin gets excited when she hears that, and episode 4 gives a little more context into that.

Baylan knows Ahsoka. He mentions in episode 4 that Anakin spoke of her. And I’m sure Baylan, after getting close with Shin, has probably shared stories of his time in the Order, Jedi he knew/met, his own master, among other things. Now, also in episode 4, Baylan knows of Sabine. How her family was killed, etc. How he does I have no idea. But, again, something he could’ve told Shin as it relates to Thrawn bc of Ezra and all that good stuff.

But to go back, Shin gets excited when Baylan does confirm and tell her to go. Also, kind of knowing Shin’s character, could’ve been a sort of ‘thrill of the hunt’ going out and looking for her. Either way, Baylan trusts Shin to send her out on her own.

Next is when Morgan does the whole star map shenanigans and Morgan talks about where Thrawn is banished and what the goal is. After Morgan leaves, Shin asks him questions about it. “What happens when we find Thrawn?” Baylan mentions war in response. Then, which is still a line that has me short circuiting bc im insane, Shin asks “what about us?” SOMETHING ABOUT THE US AND STICKING TOGETHER AND IDK FOUND FAMILY THINGS 🤠 and Baylan responds with “Power. Such as you’ve never dreamed.” It still follows along the trust lines. Shin follows him, obviously, as he’s the master and so she feels the need to ask him like, “hey, this has been going on for a little while, what’s our future goal?”

Then, in episode 4, there’s that scene (forgive me mis-quoting) where the four of them are on Seatos and Morgan mentions something about stalling (??) and Baylan says that “but you will” line to Shin and, without needing to say anymore, gives her the go ahead to go into the forest and track down Ahsoka and Sabine with Marrok. He has a trust and faith in her that she’ll do what is needed while he stays with Morgan

THEN, of course ahsoka ‘kills’ Marrok and runs to Baylan, Shin eventually comes back after running from Sabine. Shin makes it to Baylan and Ahsoka and immediately Ahsoka thinks Sabine is dead. Right after Huyang asked them to stay together and they’re getting back into their master and padawan rhythm and Sabine was left with the girl who stabbed her through like less than a week prior. So Ahsoka goes after Shin while Baylan isn’t immediately in front of her and force throws her into the one pillar and knocks her out cold. Baylan gets pissed and uses very powerful swings to push Ahsoka to the edge when she was already weak from picking up the map.

When Baylan has Ahsoka over the cliff, he says “it didn’t have to come to this” which had me THINKING. He has that line in episode 2 (??) about “It’ll be a shame (to kill Ahsoka). There are so few jedi left.” Baylan also still holds a lot of respect for the Jedi, and I think that especially shows through in the fact that Shin has a padawan braid. Baylan then continues with (forgive my misquote again I think) “but you know no other way”. Like. I cannot believe he would’ve pushed her to the edge of the cliff and eventually set her off if she didn’t throw Shin. I think that was Baylan, over anythin, fighting for his padawan and seizing the opportunity he had over Ahsoka to go through with something that he didn’t originally plan to do. But that’s my personal opinion and view rn. That could change.

And then, of course, Shin wakes up after Baylan and Sabine have their little chit chat and she starts to force choke Sabine. Baylan, immediately, is like ‘no no stop I told her I wouldn’t harm her and gave her my word, what are you doing, child’. He says, not in a super commanding or harsh tone, “Shin, release her.”

Now. How many people has Shin force choked in front of Baylan when Baylan didn’t want her to? My bet is zero, probably. Maybe one, idk.

Now we know I love analyzing, especially overanalyzing which is evident by my TLOU ones. But Baylan doesn’t freak out when he notices what Shin is doing. He’s not upset, either, because he knows her. But the very simple ask of “release her” really gets me. It tells me that they’ve built up such a trust and respect there that something small like that is enough to get her to stop and/or stand down. There’s enough there for Baylan to say it and for Shin to know it and drop it. There’s enough there that that’s all Baylan should need to say for her to stop.

Also- rabbit trail- but Shin’s immediate reaction to waking up and seeing Baylan stand, actually somewhat comfortably, across from Sabine probably sent raging signals through Shin because that’s the enemy, so she immediately goes to go after Sabine. Again, personal take, I think it’s on behalf of Baylan and protecting him and not just Shin’s personal vendetta (pretty much, at this point) against Sabine. But maybe that’s my brainrot talking. Idk protecting the other is so 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 but I also think it can fit in this context

But she doesn’t. Not at the first one. Understandable, honestly. The run-ins she’s had with Ahsoka and Sabine haven’t been the kindest and also she’s right across from Baylan and he’s not trying to kill her. So she keeps force choking her and disregards Baylan’s first ask.

But, again, going back to there being enough there. ALL it then takes it is for Baylan to go “Shin.” for her to look at him and stop. Baylan isn’t demanding anything. He’s not loud or aggressive or anything. His tone is very reminiscent of saying “trust me” without the words. And so Shin drops Sabine. Reluctantly, considering the look she gives him, but she trusts him enough to know that it’s fine and that he’s already worked it out.

THEYRE JUST SO. THEY GET ME. THEY GET ME ON A LEVEL I DIDNT KNOW EXISTED 🤮🤮🤮

#I don’t even know if this made sense #if it did then yay #I feel like they’ve been my caffeine the past two days #I’ve been like extra jumpy and smiley just THINKING about them #I cannot wait for the coming weeks #also #hi don’t ship them please you guys are disgusting #saw some. uh. stuff yesterday regarding them #in a very not platonic setting SOOOOO #anyway yeah they’re killing me 🥰🥰🥰 #ahsoka spoilers #baylan skoll #shin hati #ahsoka tv