#and i don’t like how some folks downplay those angry at it

[hypaalicious]

One thing I will say about the A.I. art ish is that it glaringly shows how the general public doesn’t have an eye trained for art.

This is important to note because the general public is who A.I. is catered to and will give it legitimacy through ignorance.

I’ve seen regular people fawn over how good A.I. art looks. Or share random images because it “looks cool”. Some may not even know that it’s A.I.

It’s not because A.I. is actually that good; in fact, most A.I. art is downright nightmare fuel. But it’s because the average person only glances at something shiny for a maximum of 5 seconds before hitting share or like. They don’t look at details or sit in quiet appreciation of the masterpiece in front of them. If they did, they’d notice the uneven eyes, extra limbs, disconnected lines, soulless composition and sloppy rendering.

But this is how these A.I. tech enthusiasts are gonna continue to slip under the radar. They’re taking advantage of people’s blind spots and low attention span and combining that with the instant gratification of “with a few keywords and button push, you too can make beautiful art”!

I believe that’s going to be a harder hurdle to get over moreso than the other valid points folks are making about security risks from uploading pics to random software that can use them however they like (cause in the age of social media and smartphone apps especially, people don’t care what company has their face when it’s already out there), or the ethical ramifications that harm real artists (cause a lot of people simply never respected artists in the first place outside of what they output).

And it won’t stop with art. Voice actors are having their voices digitized for future use to cut costs of hiring actual VAs for projects. People are experimenting “writing” books with A.I. All of these efforts suck in quality but do you think the general public will notice or care? The same public whose attention span is collectively bout the size of a goldfish? The same public with at most a 5th grade reading level? The same public who is trained to consume media spoonfed to them algorithmically at the speed of light?

#I’m just sayin it’s not looking too good for us creatives outchea #it may take years for it to really have any sort of major impact outside of outrage #but whew I get why artists are upset asf over this #and i don’t like how some folks downplay those angry at it #like what do you want? a big fat ‘we’ve been trying to tell you and you didn’t listen’ when AI gets out of control? #but art and media literacy I think is the biggest roadblock creatives will face here in the future #and ofc capitalism even making it possible for tech like this to be used immorally

[kalinara]

So there’s one element of Nate-criticism that I’ve largely stayed away from and that’s Nate kissing Keeley.  Mostly, because I think it’s a genuinely complicated issue.  I also don’t think that people necessarily argue in good faith.

I don’t really want to get into an argument with folk about whether or not, for example, kissing someone without consent is a form of sexual assault.  Because it’s one of those things where I think it does meet the technical definition of the term, and it certainly CAN be a traumatizing and violating experience, but I also think that people use the term “sexual assault” in very bad faith in this conversation.

Nate did a bad thing, yes.  But he’s not a rapist.  There is a difference.  And it’s an important one, especially when we’re talking about a man of color and a white woman.  

I think that there are points of legitimate criticism to be when it comes to the way that the show has utilized Keeley in season 2.  Specifically with both Jamie’s confession and Nate’s kiss.  I think it’s fair to point out that Keeley’s point of view is getting buried beneath the perspective of the men.  Both Jamie’s confession and Nate’s kiss are presented as something in terms of both men’s relationship to Roy rather than Keeley, and that’s not great.

But I think it’s also fair to say that there are certain members of this fandom who specifically and deliberately ignore the emotional responses that Keeley DOES show us.  For example, Keeley’s response to Nate’s kiss is sympathy and compassion, not anger or violation.

Now of course, there’s room to converse about Keeley’s response and whether or not she SHOULD feel angry or violated.  But as someone who is female adjacent and has been in a situation like this, I can say that, sometimes, it’s actually not a big deal.  It CAN be.  I am certainly not trying to downplay or dismiss anyone else’s reaction to this situation.  But for me, like Keeley apparently, it wasn’t particularly traumatizing or dramatic.  It was just really really awkward.

When Keeley talks about the kiss with Roy, she calls it a misunderstanding.  She says it wasn’t a big deal.  Maybe she’s lying, but it doesn’t seem like it.  She tells Roy about it the day it happens, without distress or fanfare.  She’s clearly a lot more perturbed by Jamie’s confession, which she kept quiet about for far longer.  

I definitely think having the men apologize to Roy but not Keeley was a misstep of the show.  But I think we need to be careful about how we talk about this with regard to Nate.  I probably don’t need to remind anyone how the idea that we have to protect white women from predatory men of color has been used, and is still used, to justify some truly horrific actions.  And that’s definitely something that should stay in the back of our minds when we discuss this kind of plot point.

#ted lasso #nate shelley #keeley jones

[mysticaltora8276]

Break Down of A Scene

Oh boy. I found this lovely thing and felt the need to break this down. Not sure exactly where it's from but if I had to guess I'd say this is from Sacrifice from Legends written by my least favorite writer of Star Wars media Karen Traviss. Here we go.

“Dad, was the Empire really a reign of terror?”

-Yes it was what with all the threats of extermination, orbital bombardments, forced labor camps, forced conscription, slavery for non-humans, suppression of rights...just to name a few.

“Just a bit…”

-What? Uh Luke? What? WHAT?! No! You should be denouncing it with the strongest vehemence considering you fought against in a Rebellion!

“I know you and Uncle Han and Aunt Leia had a rough time of it, but what about ordinary people?”

-Define "Ordinary people" Ben Skywalker. Really I'd love to hear what you'd say to all the Ithorians, Wookiees, Twi'leks, Bothans, Neimoidians, Lasat Jedi just to name a few who were actively persecuted against and discriminated against in the Empire. So yes the ordinary people did have it bad.

Mara chewed with slow deliberation, her gaze in slight defocus on a point in the mid-distance. “You might want to ask Alderaan. No, wait—it’s gone, isn’t it? Oops. That’s what happened to ordinary people, and I know better than most.”

-Yes because you participated in it and now would be a good time to tell him that since he clearly understands that implication....

Because you did some of it. Luke faced up to the fact that he couldn’t expect Ben to believe a word either of them said to him.

-So you're just going let him believe in this nonsense instead of correcting him? You are his FATHER! Speak up!

They’d both done things that they were telling him he couldn’t do now.

-Opposing a fascist government....Why aren't they encouraging that? It doesn't make sense. Why is opposing a fascist ideology bad?

“But most people didn’t really notice, did they?” Ben seemed to be fixed on course.

-Yes they did. Some joined the Rebellion because of Alderaan. But quite a few were too terrified to do anything. I mean wouldn't you be if you know that the government is willing to blow up a planet on a whim?

“Their lives went on as before."

-No it didn't....unless they were in with those in power. Most were scared of being next.

"Maybe a few people who were political got a midnight visit from a few stormies, but most folks got on with their lives, right?”

-Ah Ben, way to say "how I am fascist without saying "I am fascist." " See that's the lie of fascism. The idea that if you just shut up and keep your head down then you won't disappear....That's a lie. It doesn't matter because all it takes is just you getting an official angry or existing if you’re the local target of abuse by the government which the case of Star Wars existing as a non-human or a Jedi. So no Ben they lived in fear of being next.

“Right,” Mara conceded. “But living in fear isn’t living at all.”

-Thanks Mara....Now elaborate a little please?

“It’s better than dead.”

-AKA I can't be bothered to help out people and instead tacitly support an institution that murders people on a whim. And what do you mean “it’s better than being dead “? Are you basically saying that you’d rather live under a fascist regime because it supposedly “leaves normal people like me” alone then get killed fighting for democracy? Ben your father opposed a fascist government and for that matter. Luke, you want to pip in at any time? You've seen the abuses and aftermath. Ugh I hate this kind of straw manning

“You think the Empire was okay, Ben?” Luke asked.

-That's not what I had in mind. Seriously Luke what?

“I don’t know. It just seems that a handful of people can think they have the duty—the right—to change things for everybody else."

-Which is what your cousin is doing right now. Literally. I mean seriously. Even in canon the Empire apologists acknowledge the wrongs of the Empire even if they downplay the severity of it. Heck why isn't Luke shutting down this thought train? He'd know better then most.

"It’s a big decision, rebellion, isn’t it?"

-Yes.

"But most decisions that affect trillions of beings get made by a few people.”

-Again your cousin is doing precisely that with....GAG(Appropriate). Also in a properly functioning democracy or republic that isn't the case....

Luke and Mara looked at each other discreetly and then at Ben. He’d acquired political curiosity somewhere along the line.

-This isn’t political curiosity this is strawman arguing basically say I support a fascist regime because I’m one of the “normal People”. It’s one of the most insidious and dumb arguments you can make but unfortunately quite a few people listen to this.

Whatever mission Jacen had sent him on—and he had, Luke was certain—it had made the boy think. "

-Like a fascist. Sorry but I saw this clip in another post and while it was critical of it I felt the need to break down the issues I personally have with this. This is a poor argument and while I'm not a big fan of post Endor EU save for Zahn whose writting I think shines the best this is just plain bad.

#anti karen traviss #what is this #Luke what even? #Mara Jade Skywalker you should be putting a better argument then this. #star wars legends

[lettersnorth]

For What Ails You

Bertram arrives within the Heartwood clinic with all of the silence that one would expect for a man with the epithet 'Windshadow'. Of course, it wasn't precisely polite to go sneaking around unannounced in proper company, so Bertram produced a quick pair of raps upon the door as he slipped through. He took a moment to glance around the room in search for who might be present. He'd been told that he could find Aislinn here but he was still uncomfortable removing his visor in unfamiliar company.

Aislinn appeared to be in the middle of something that took a good portion of her concentration. She stood at the stove, her back to the door. Spread across the clinic's counters were a variety of jars that stored everything from herbs to aethersand and perhaps even an animal part or two. Currently, she was flipping between two open recipe books with one hand while the other continually stirred a mixture that was simmering in a double boiler on the stove.

At the sound of someone knocking, her expression cleared and she glanced over her shoulder. "Bertram." she greeted, albeit a bit absently. "Alright, there?"

"Keeping myself together in one piece." He answered with a subtle smile, a hand rising up to rub at the back of his neck idly before his attention shifted to the work that Aislinn was doing at the bench. His hand shifted from his neck to his visor as he moved. There's a quiet 'click' as he removes the device from his face and focuses his good eye upon the various reagents. "You certainly seem ... busy?" He then turns his attention back to Aislinn with a slightly risen brow.

"One piece is always preferable." she nodded, her hand never pausing in the stirring of the pot. "Ahh..." she looked back to the accoutrements she had spread out across the counter. "Just...trying a new potion." she said blithely. Perhaps a touch too blithe, to be honest. "But once it's done simmering it has to sit awhile, so not too terribly busy. You've caught me near the end."

Bertram nodded his head slowly, his attention shifting back to the potion-in-progress with a curious expression. "Is it ... for anything in particular ..." his attention flicks back to Aislinn, "... or is it just some exploratory alchemy?" He offers the woman a light smile.

Aislinn paused at the question, reaching up to brush away a wayward strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes. She considered and immediately discarded half a dozen lies she could have told him. In light of certain events that would have made quite the hypocrite of her.

"I'm still having a bit of trouble. With..." she trailed off, tapping a finger against her breastbone. "That issue I told you about earlier. Those attacks that make me feel like I might burn up from the inside out. It hasn't happened half as much since...well, since we dealt with all the Red Argos business but it's still there." she was quiet a moment as she stopped stirring the concoction and moved the pot off the stove to cool. "It's a bother." she said simply though that was certainly downplaying the issue. "So I'm trying this to see if it helps or not."

Bertram furrowed his brow slightly as Aislinn explains the purpose of the concoction. The man glances off to the side for a moment as he takes in a slow breath and then he's back to leveling his attention upon the pot. "It's ... not getting worse, is it?" He asked, sounding noticeably concerned, "Do you have theories as to what it might be that's causing it?"

Setting down the whisk she had been using, she takes up a towel from the rack and wipes her hands. "It...doesn't happen as often but...it feels as though it's become more intense." Again, an understatement. The other night she been crippled by it, unable to rise from the rug in her room until it had passed.

She busied herself with cleaning up the open jars, screwing the tops back on and moving to place them back on the shelves. As though if she just kept moving it would make the subject loom that much less in her mind. "Not as easy to shake off. But..." Theories. She had a few. Though that would require regaling Bertram with tales of what had happened to her while living in Ul'dah and she was less than inclined to do such a thing. "I don't really know. Nothing concrete. Though if this doesn't work I was thinking I would go and see the monks."

Bertram slowly turns his attention toward Aislinn as she offers up her back-up solution. It was, of course, easy to see the concern within his expression. Though that wasn't necessarily a surprise given the circumstances. "... do you think the Fist's'll have the answers?" He asked quietly, a bit like a dolt. Of course she did Bertram, why would she go otherwise? He cleared his throat and shook his head, side glancing to the cooling pot. "If there's anything I can do for you in that regard ...I'll do whatever I can."

Aislinn finished wiping down the counter. At those particular words, her lips compressed a moment in a flat line before she managed a tight smile she didn't feel. She flicked the towel at him before hanging it back over the rack. "It's the monks. I think I can remember my way there, I'll be fine." she said, neatly declining his offer. With a sigh, she settled against the counter and folded her arms across her chest. "But you came by the clinic for a reason of your own, didn't you?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

Bertram lifted his hands up in a faux-defensive gesture as the towel is flicked in his direction. A quiet laugh and bow of his head conceding to her point. "You're ... right of course. You usually are." He clears his throat, "But, all the same, I just want to make sure you know I've got your back if you need it." There's a pauses as she turns the questioning around on him. "Yes ... well ... I was hoping to find some ointments for ..." He looks embarrassed, "Bug bites?"

She gave a single, non-committal nod in reply to his assertion that he would be there if she needed. But as he explained his true purpose for stopping by, her face became more expressive as she raised a skeptical brow. "What sort of bug bites? Let me see."

"I ... ah ... midges, I think?" He tries to offer though he seems entirely unsure about that situation. "I honestly didn't get a very good look at them." He lets out a quiet, nervous laugh as he shakes his head and lifts up an arm and begins to roll back a sleeve. And ... sure enough, the arms is peppered with a small constellation of angry looking red dots. Nothing life threatening, of course, but ... boy did it look uncomfortable.

Aislinn leaned forward and took a look at his arm. It was indeed, a right mess. Pushing herself off the counter, she carefully took hold of it and peered a bit closer at the bites. "Nymeia's Blood, Bertram, did you go for a joy-walk through a swamp?" she tsked. Releasing his arm, she turned for the cabinets that lined the clinic's counter and began rifling through the various pots and jars located within.

"Luckily, we're a fully stocked clinic. No telling what the members of Heartwood are going to get themselves into. Always best to try and prepare for a little bit of everything."

Bertram was quick to clear himself out of Aislinn's way as she set course for the cabinet behind him. He couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh as he swapped ends of the bench with Aislinn. "Just a bit of good samaritan work ... though I might have gone a bit overboard ... given the circumstances."

"Sometimes folk forget that the Elementals are always watching out here. Even if they aren't as potent as before."

"Well, no good deed goes unpunished." Aislinn murmured as she pulled a porcelain blue salve jar from the cabinet. She paused, her hand gripping the wide cork top, as though she just realized what she said. With a shake of her head and a soft snort, she continued, pulling the lid from the salve and giving it a whiff. "This is it." re-corking the jar, she turned and held it out to him. "Was it worth it? The good Samaritan work?"

Bertram laughs quietly at Aislinn's first comment, his head bobbing to the side amusedly before accepting the jar with a grateful smile. His brow furrows slightly at the question that she left him with as he lifts the jar to get a whiff himself. "I'm not sure I'd be a very good 'good samaritan' if I went around judging people I help like that." He teased quietly before taking a sample size of the salve and beginning to spread it on a small patch on his arm in test. "But ... they seemed like a nice enough person. Just seemed a bit ... new to the area, honestly. They were grateful at the very least."

Aislinn tilted her head, seeing that he had missed her point. "Not asking you to judge them, but I'm glad it all seemed to end up well enough. Aside from the run-in with the midges. The Elementals seem a bit touchy lately. That or there are quite a few more people than normal wandering the Shroud who are new to the area."

Bertram blinks quietly at the opening to her response, looking a bit caught off guard and suddenly second guessing what she meant from before. He gets caught up in his mind for a prolonged moment before clearing his throat, "... oh, yeah. Seems like there're more people that usual out and about. Maybe refugees?" He glanced off to the side again before looking down to his arm. He wasn't positive but the salve certainly seemed to be doing the trick. It was a distinct relief. "You're running into folks running awry of the Elementals too?"

"Maybe refugees." she nods in agreement. Leaning over the stove, she checked in on her cooling pot of potion and tested it by shaking the pot gently by the handle. Not quite ready. "But Cravendy apparently had a run in after some target practice of hers went awry. She says her aim still needs work. Can see how something like that might miff the Elementals." she said with a wry twist of her lips. "I may have possibly been chased out for that a time or two back when I was new."

Bertram laughs quietly and shakes his head, idly poking at the bites that he had covered in the salve; testing to see if they would be easily re-aggravated into itchiness. Fortunately the medicine seemed to be doing an *excellent* job. "They ... definitely aren't exactly used to gunfire being anything other than overtly hostile in ninety percent of cases, that's ... probably true." He looks back up at Aislinn with a grateful smile, "This seems to be doing the job." Bertram gives a slightly wry smile. "Maybe there should be a class."

Aislinn gave a pleased smile as he informed her the salve was working. Then a short laugh. "A 'Welcome to Gridania, Mind the Elementals' Class?" she shrugged. "Suppose it wouldn't hurt. Not sure Cravendy would have paid attention though."

Bertram bobs his head to the side slightly, "Yeah, something like that ..." He pauses as Aislinn further explains Cravendy's unlikelihood of actively benefiting from it. He can be shake his head gently with a soft amusement. "A bit of a stubborn streak then?"

In reply to his question she let go another brief laugh but this one lit up her whole face with amusement. "A bit of an understatement, that." she shook her head. "Though I suppose I'm not really one to talk." she tossed a knowing look his way that said she knew he'd agree with her.

Bertram cannot contain that easy and gentle laugh the rose up from his lungs as she gave him the pointed look. Once he'd managed to find more rein upon his faculties he gave a conceding dip of his head to her point. "Well ... if there's anything that I have a lot of experience with, Lin, it's being around stubborn personalities." He gave Aislinn a pointed look in turn. She and Barengar might be two different brands of stubborn, but ... they were *definitely* stubborn. "Maybe I'd have some luck if I taught the class."

One corner of her lips pulled upward at that. "Probably save yourself any more problematic bug bites from all that good samaritan work if you did." once again, she reached over and checked the pot. It had appeared to have settled into a consistency she was satisfied with and she reached for an empty potion jar from the shelves. "Go ask the Adders, I'm sure they're tired of rescuing people as well. They'd probably let you do it if it ended up saving them some work."

Bertram suddenly looks as though he might *actually* be seriously considering the idea that he had initially brought up as a joke. He blinked several times before looking at Aislinn with a decent measure of surprise. And then a quiet laugh as he silently talks his himself down ... for the time being. "Maybe ..." he grins slightly, "... I probably do with a more steady living situation than being an transient in the forest. I ... can admit to that."

Aislinn tilted her head from one side to the other as if considering his point. "So, start with that. Unless you're enjoying the transient life in which case I'm sure you could still convince them of your merits." she poured the potion carefully into the jar and held it up, carefully giving it a final swirl before corking it. Setting the jar aside, she picked up the pot and scooted around him to place it in the sink at his back.

"Perhaps ..." He murmurs thoughtfully, quietly shifting and moving out of Aislinn's way again as he goes about applying more of the salve to his arms. He gives her a curious look that was saddled with a touch of anticipation. "Did it ... turn out alright?" He asks in regards to the potion.

Aislinn glanced over at the jar in question, the deep blue liquid growing darker the longer it cooled. "Maybe. Won't really know until I'm in need of it." She tried not to let on how apprehensive that made her.

Bertram attempted to do the very same. There was a certain discomfort in not knowing if something you were counting on saving you ... just doesn't. The rich blue liquid remains within his gaze for several moments. He'd just have to have faith in Aislinn's formulas. It was about all he could do in this case. He looks back to Aislinn with a quiet smile, putting on his best brave face, "I'm sure it'll help."

"Is there anything that I can do to help around here?" He asks as he begins to roll his sleeves back down. "Seems ... only fair for using your guys' salve." He manages a warm smile.

Aislinn nodded in the face of his assertion that her potion would work but her hand wandered up to her neck, fingers pressing against the dip in her throat. A worried gesture. "At the very least, I'm certain it won't kill me. So there's that." she said as she let go a breath and a half-hearted laugh. Turning to look around the clinic, she considered his request. "Well..." she began thoughtfully. "I noticed we were running low on some herbs. Maybe you've seen enough of the Shroud for awhile but if you're up for it, you could help me restock?"

Bertram does his best to keep on that convinced expression, even as the expectations were brought down to a rather *bare* minimum in his eyes. As Aislinn mused upon how he might be able to return help for help proffered he gave an eager nod of his head. "I think I'd like that quite a bit." He glances toward one of the windows, "I honestly find wandering around out there to be ... pretty calming."

Aislinn inhaled a breath and, upon realizing what she was doing, quickly dropped her hand from her throat. "Right. Let me get changed and then we can go." She picked up the jar off the counter and made her way for the door. "Take the salve with you. Bring it back once the bites are gone." she said over her shoulder. "I'll meet you outside in a few."

Bertram offers Aislinn a small smile before nabbing his visor and 'clicking' it back into place. One he's tucked the jar of salve away he follows behind the woman on the way out of the clinic. "I'll be ready when you are, Lin," he offers with a gentle bob of his head before pausing, "and thanks."

Aislinn waved his thanks off as she passed through the door. "Of course. What else is a clinic for?"

#ffxiv rp #balmung rp #rp snippets #Bertram Windshadow #Aislinn North

[diaryofanangryasianguy]

(1) So just found out my mom voted for trump. She really hates the CCP and thinks they’re the most evil in the world. I guess she thinks Trump and Pompeo and whomever else has a tougher position on China. She was like, “I hope you don’t hate me. I’ll love and support you no matter what!” Lol, yea I don’t know. I’m disappointed and I’m not. Her family’s house was raided during the revolution and casted into poverty. Her dad was forced into doing labor and died from stomach cancer...

(2) Reminded me of the article you posted that most AAs will vote Biden but don’t actually support him. Just thought how a lot of immigrant parents don’t see the problems the younger generation see in the US. And the communication barrier adds to those problems being misunderstood. I don’t expect her to know anything about UBI, cash relief, medicare for all, abolishing student debt, etc, some policies that are currently gaining bipartisan support. Or anything about the trump administration...

(3) But damn, trump? Wth? I feel bad if I think I’ll just wait till the older generation dies. But arguing is pointless, too. You got family or friends like that?

History and family definitely plays a role in the way older Asian generations vote. Like for example, a lot of older Chinese and Vietnamese folks love trump because what happened during the cultural revolution in China or the Vietnam War. If you’re someone that grew up where you saw your own people brutalize and commit genocides against your own friends and family, then it’s understandable why you might hate your country of origin and want to move somewhere else and adopt someone else’s values. I’m not saying neither is okay but I understand where they’re coming from.

Like you said, most of the older generation (and even recent immigrants) don’t understand all the complex structures and policies in the US. What they see is someone who’s tough and trash talks against their country of origin, which aligns with their own views. So that’s who they end up supporting even though trump supporters in general are still racist to them.

As for my household, we’re all anti-trump lol. My mom hates trump and especially mitch mcconnell. Like even my aunties and whoever voted for biden. Even my fiancé’s family (they’re Filipino) make fun of trump. So I guess I could say I’m fortunate on both sides. But of course, we didn’t vote for biden because we wanted him to win. We just wanted trump to lose.

As for friends or acquaintances, I actually know more that would vote for trump than my own family so it’s surprising since I’m part of the millennial generation. And we all know how Asian folks flock to the medical field, what is even more surprising is how some nurses or other medical workers vote for trump. Like he’s literally the reason why they’re so overworked right now. He downplayed the virus and we’re almost a year into the pandemic yet these trumpers still think it’s a hoax.

Angry Asian Guy

#anon #ask #long reads #tw sensitive material

[anotherdarkiboi]

Love Hurts- Bing/Google

Warnings: injuries, blood, medical mentions, getting beaten up, insults, fighting, mild cursing, one sided pining turned guilt.

"Walk it off," Bing mumbles to himself, "walk it off."

The swollen black eye and bruises littering his body ache, making it difficult for him to see and move. He wouldn't be surprised if a rib or two was fractured and his left ankle (or whatever android equivalent he had) hurt enough for him to think it might be twisted.

"Walking it off" hurt like a bitch.

Bing slowly limps to Dr. Iplier's office and makeshift bedroom with every step shooting pain up his left leg. He squints his one good eye to adjust to the darkness of night, peering around the hallway corners and making sure there was no one around before progressing. Bing doubted anyone would be wandering around in the middle of the night, but many of the egos were either insomniacs or didn't require sleep, so he checked to be safe. He doesn't want to be seen like this.

He keeps one arm along the wall for support, the other arm clutching his trusty skateboard. He licks his upper lip experimentally: it was split, tasting like iron and rust. Bing winces at the sting, the movement further straining his injured mouth. At least I'll get a sick looking scar from this, he thinks.

Bing softly knocks on Dr. Iplier's door. "Hey Doc, you in?" he stage whispers.

There is a sound of something heavy falling to the ground and a string of unintelligible cursing on the other side.

"I swear, if this is another one of those late-night skateboarding incidents-" The door opens to reveal a sleep deprived doctor. "What happened to you?"

Dr. Iplier grabs Bing's skateboard and helps him into the room, maneuvering the android's arm over his shoulder to distribute the weight off Bing's left ankle. The doctor then eases Bing upright onto the hospital cot.

The android could feel Dr. Iplier's gaze scanning him and the splotches of neon orange blood on his skin. Bing doesn't answer the doctor's question.

"Close the door," Bing says.

The doctor complies, his worry growing. He's instantly by Bing's side again, assessing his many injuries. The bruises and broken skin look like the result of punches: the black eye too. It was obvious that it was intentional. Especially with the android's uncharacteristically shady behavior, there was definitely someone else involved.

Dr. Iplier grabs a bottle of antiseptic and some bandages to work on the worst of the wounds. He also got ice for Bing's ankle and black eye and cream for the split lip. The doctor glances at Bing worriedly, who hasn't made eye contact ever since he was admitted into the makeshift clinic. Dr. Iplier dabs carefully at the wounds with a white cloth. Bing sharply inhales in pain.

"Bing... Who did this to you?"

-------------------------

It was obvious to everyone that Google hated Bing. They were made by opposing companies after all, and their personalities clashed like baking soda and vinegar in a science fair volcano: it was explosive. It was a Cold War for the most part, with petty bickering and casual insults attacked from both fronts and their anger simmering below the surface.

Google didn't seemed bothered by it. He was a very left-brained individual: cold, cool, and calculating. Google was blunt in his insults and no matter how hard Bing tried, nothing he said seemed to hurt Google as much as he wanted to. Sometimes Bing doubted the android had the ability to feel emotions other than annoyance and pride.

Bing wasn't similar. Sure, he had thick skin. He was as much of an android as Google and it was rare for him to feel the emotional extremes. Bing was mellow a solid 95% of the time, hence why most people upon first meeting him thought he was always high. He tried not to let Google's creative and scarily accurate insults get to him. Google even refused to touch him, 'lest he "tarnish his hands from Garbage: Personified". Bing had to admit, that one stung.

Of course, it wasn't like he could say anything about it. He'd lose the one source of interaction he had with Google and admit defeat by stopping now. It was far too late to back out or tone things down: his feelings had been hurt too much already. And besides, Bing liked messing with Google. He enjoyed the attention even if it was negative, because for the most part that was the only attention he got.

Bing liked him, maybe a bit more than he wanted to admit. He knew he didn't have a chance. Google hated his circuits after all, and they've been fighting too much to be able to reconciliate. Bing wanted to be Google's friend, maybe even more than that. He knew he should stop, he should stay away, he should just leave Google alone or at least settle for being rivals instead of holding onto this hopeless desire. But somehow he couldn't. Even so, Bing hated Google, and hated himself for not being able to hate Google more.

Bing found himself in Google's room that night, interrupting his recharge cycle. Google was running on 1% battery so he was a little loopy and out of sorts: never a good thing if you're an android bent on destroying mankind.

Google was annoyed at Bing for preventing his "sleep", which spurred into the two of them arguing about what is more important than sleep. Surprisingly their bickering was more muted, borderline playful banter. Maybe it was because Google was tired and Bing was tired of fighting. It was the first time that Google spoke to Bing on somewhat equal footing.

Bing noticed.

He vaguely remembered making a joke at Dark's expense and Google rolling his eyes dramatically without his usual malice. Bing remembered smiling, a lot. Bing remembered wishing that things could always be like this, that they could talk together without being at each other's throats all the time.

"How is it that someone as low as yourself can be so popular?" Google commented elusively.

Bing chose to ignore the downplayed insult. At first he thought Google was trying his hand at sarcasm. Google stared at Bing directly in the eyes (making Bing uncomfortable) and spoke with genuine conviction. He wasn't joking.

Bing didn't consider himself popular by any means. He was default, which meant he hung around the humans more and was better adapted to them. Even though Google was the superior search engine technologically (Bing would never admit it), he still maintained the same icy personality that he had ever since he was first programmed.

Bing had some friends, sure. Some of the Ipliers and the Septiceyes for one, especially his "bro away from home", Chase Brody. But for the most part, people found him annoying and left him alone. People only asked for him out of necessity; everyone knew that Google's processors were much faster and more efficient.

If Bing was "popular", then what was Google? Bing didn't recall Google having any friends and outside of their daily bouts of arguing, giving status reports to Dark and Dr. Iplier, and running around the house to install new tech (the origins of which are unknown- everyone assumes that Google buys them for their own safety), Google rarely left the property.

It hit Bing rather suddenly. For all of Google's pride/borderline god complex, Bing finally figured him out. Google was lonely. This line of thinking only took a few seconds to go through Bing's processors. Bing responded.

"Folks like me because I'm cool. Why? You jealous?" Bing taunted. Google glared at him with glowing red eyes. Bing smirked. Payback, bitch.

"I don't have the capacity to feel such emotions," Google responded in his usual monotone. The subtle gritting of his teeth and clenching of his jaw didn't escape Bing's watchful gaze. That and the piercing death glare and the fact that Google's eyes glowed red was a strong indicator of the contrary.

"Bullshit!" Bing exclaimed, dramatically pointing his index finger at Google like an Ace Attorney lawyer. All his pent-up frustration tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop and feel regret.

"You think you're so high and mighty, but your processors just can't handle the truth. Us androids were built to resemble humans and we both know how you suck ass at it bro. I think you're just jealous 'cause you could never get anywhere close to my level. No wonder you have no friends: you can't feel love, can't feel happiness, can't feel anything, man. You think you're good at everything but really you're just good at being a huge-"

Before Bing could finish, he was pummeled in the face with over 400 pounds of blunt force. The impact of Google's fist knocked Bing backwards, making him trip on his skateboard. He fell to the ground, hard, the air getting knocked out of his lungs. A seering pain traveled up Bing's leg from his left ankle where he tripped.

Bing forced his eyes open to look up at Google, holding his hands up apologetically. "Woah man, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that."

He meant it. Bing did not expect Google to react that strongly and like Google said, he didn't even think the other android was able to feel emotions to that extent. That was literally the last thing he wanted to say. It threw all his hopes and dreams into a blender, burned them to ashes, and scattered them into the ocean.

Bing fucked up.

Google stared down at Bing with contempt. He was pissed, more pissed than Bing's ever seen him. Whatever cold façade Google had left came crashing down to reveal a very angry (and hurt) android. Guilt knotted itself in Bing's stomach.

Google bent down and straddled Bing, pushing him to the floor with one hand on his shoulder. In any other circumstance Bing would have welcomed it, but he knew that whatever hope he had left of that happening for real was going to be literally beaten out of him.

This is going to hurt, Bing thought.

With his other hand, Google continued punching and hitting Bing wherever his fist could reach.

Bing hated being right.

On one hand, Bing was happy that Google actually felt comfortable touching him, even if it was with an  excessive amount of strength. On the other hand, it hurt. A lot. His body stung, ached, and burned everywhere. The 200-ish pounds of android pinning him down wasn't helping much either.

Bing was sure he deserved it. He did say some hurtful shit (but so had Google) and he did do some things to spur Google on (and Google did the same), so Bing decided not to fight back. If punching his guts out made Google happier, so be it: Bing could stand it. A little pain never killed anybody, right?

Bing tried to be as quiet as possible to not alert the other other egos in the house, but he knew it was only a matter of time before they figured out something was wrong. He wasn't planning on ratting Google out, he was going to take what he thought was the "high road" and protect the other android, no matter the cost. At least then there was the tiniest sliver of hope that Google would forgive him, or at least not hate him so much.

I wouldn't mind if you killed me now, Bing thought morbidly.

Bing squeezed his eyes tight and bit his lip hard, braced for the endless barrage of pain. He tried to use his hands and arms to at least try to block the brunt of the energy from colliding with his face. Bing vaguely wondered if the liquid running down his cheeks were tears, blood, or both.

The punches slowed to a stop. Bing peeked his eyes open. Google panted from his systems overheating with his glasses uncharacteristically askew. He stared at Bing with shaking fists, some of the knuckles split and bleeding blue. Google's brows were furrowed and his expression was one and hurt and distress.

"Why do you make me feel like this?" he muttered glitchily.

Google then promptly collapsed onto Bing's chest. A voice emanating from Google's unconscious body spoke in a monotone: "insufficient battery level to run primary functions. Powering down".

At least he wasn't dead. Bing summoned whatever strength he had left in his arms to roll the other android off him. Google's head hit the floor with a dull thump. Bing mumbled an "oof" in sympathy.

He slowly sat up with a sharp inhale. Everything hurt. One of Bing's eyes felt stiff and puffy and his torso ached every time he moved. He picked himself up off the floor with the unsteady legs of a newborn deer. And like a newborn deer, he was world-weary, in emotional and physical pain, and covered in blood.

Bing spared a glance at his tormentor. Google lay face up with his limbs sprawled on the floor. He had a serene expression, a sharp contrast to his previous  tumultuous appearance. He was too far away and too heavy for Bing to move to the charging port so Bing grabbed a throw blanket and gently draped it on top of Google's "sleeping" form. Bing hoped that he wouldn't remember anything the next morning.

Bing really [E̷̟͝R̶̥͘R̶̡̊Ö̵̲́R̷͚̍ ̸̪̉4̵͚̇0̷̣̽4̵̢͐ ̴͙̋W̵̱̊o̸̰͒r̶̳͊d̵̞͒ ̴̣̓N̸̝̑o̵̞̾t̸̡̋ ̸̜̈F̷̢̑ȯ̷̩u̸͍͛ń̶̟d̸̳̑] him.

-------------------------

Bing smiles, answering Dr. Iplier's question. It hurt his face to do it, but he did so anyways to prove his point. The doctor pauses, awaiting the android's response with unease and uncertainty.

"No one did this to me," Bing says, practically beaming to the point of physical pain, "It's not that bad, Doc. I'm fine with it."

He meant it.

#bingle #bingiplier #googleplier #bing/google #google/bing #bingiplier/googleplier #googleplier/bingiplier #bing x google #google x bing #markiplier egos #markegos #markiplier tag #markiplier tag2 #markiplier fanfiction #markiplier ego fanfiction #markiplier fanfic #markiplier ego fanfic #bingiplier x googleplier #dr. iplier

[ariainstars]

Sorry, But I Don’t Support Minorities (Any More)

For a start: I will not use inclusive language in this text. (I usually don’t, only in this case I want to make sure it’s known from the start.)

Secondly, if you identify as trans or non-binary and / or are a huge Harry Potter fan, I am warning you: don’t read this.

If you do want to hear me out, be respectful in your comments or hold them back altogether. I won’t tolerate bullying merely because I am expressing my own opinion. Though the topic touches a sore spot in me, too, I will be as objective as I can.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am not and never was a fan of J.K. Rowling and her works. I found the Harry Potter hype strongly exaggerated, the books mildly unoriginal and biased, the films ok until they became so overloaded with derivation from other sources (dragons, elves, magic wands, brooms, unicorns, centaurs, phoenixes, basilisks, flying horses - stories like Star Trek or Star Wars at least have their own world-building) and later so dark that they were no fun anymore. In my opinion an average writer was lucky because she tapped into a trend and was at the right place and right time with her stories. I daresay years from now many fans will wonder why they liked these stories so much and realize that they just jumped on a train, having been too young and naïve to question it.

I don’t own any of Rowling’s books or DVDs or merchandise and I never have been part of the fandom. So, I come from a different corner when I say that I have my own attitude about the current shitstorm regarding J.K. Rowling now being coded as “transphobic”. This is due to personal reasons of my own.

  1. The Discussion Can Add Confusion

Rowling stated that in her youth she had problems with her own identity due to her father having wanted her to be a boy. I can understand that because I went through a long period in my late teens and early twens where I had difficulties identifying with the sex I was born with. At times I also felt physically attracted to females. In my case, it turned out to merely be a phase: I am an average cis woman. I can understand that for some people, such doubts may turn out to be more than a phase. But I know what Rowling refers to because I have been there. And I am grateful that there was no gender discussion when I was young because it would have confused me even more than I actually was, and I already had more than enough other problems. I was and I am a “common” woman, but there was a time in my life when I did not like it very much. That time was bad enough, combined as it was with other aspects in my life I had to come to terms with, which at times almost drove me to despair to the point where I contemplated suicide. So, I am glad that in my time being gay / straight / trans / cis / non-binary or other was not such an issue, at least not where I grew up. With my confusion and disorientation, well-meaning people might have taken the opportunity to encourage me to “embrace my lesbianism / trans identity”, when in truth I am neither. I was discouraged, from many sides, to liking myself, and that self-loathing took many forms. 

I am extremely cautious when it comes to gender identification because I know that finding one’s way in life under difficult circumstances can take years and years and end in a very different place from where it started, well beyond adolescence. In my case, for a long time I thought I was “not really female” because I love my independence and never wished for children: this is not due to some masculine trait inside of me but to my growing up with a disturbed mother who strongly invaded my life and mind and did everything that was in her power to trap me. I suspected that something was wrong with her since my early teens, but I found out the truth only about twenty years later. I had to accept her the way she is and put distance between us. 

Then there were my peers: where and when I grew up it was trendy to be (or appear) as tomboyish and easy-going as possible because this was seen as a sign of a “strong, modern, emancipated female”: fie on you if you wore your hair a little longer, liked clothes or only had to much as a flower-pattern on your notebook. Again: I simply had to get away. For many years I had been led to believe that my too “female” or “masculine” traits were a problem, when the actual problem was not mine. And if this happened to me, I daresay there may be many others in similar situations; which is something that who supports and encourages trans people usually does not consider. People who are confused about their sexuality without actually being trans need understanding as well.

  2. What About Us?

As a native Italian, I cringe when I only think e.g. of Lady and the Tramp’s silly “Bella notte” scene or films like Good Fellas or of The Godfather trilogy, cultural phenomena that did a lot to cement the general audience’s idea of how Italians are like. Not to our advantage. - No, “bella notte” is not correct Italian. No, we don’t play the mandolin, it’s an outmoded instrument that you are more likely to find in a museum. And no, spaghetti with meatballs are not Italian food!

Following the 2009 economic crises many countries in the European Community applied for financial “umbrellas”; Italy didn’t, it paid into those funds. Italy was the first Western country who went into lockdown as the Covid-19 crisis struck. The country functioned, though under huge restrictions and security measures. In both cases, other countries’ reactions in and outside Europe were like: “Typical - Italians are too lazy to work!” When it came to negotiating an economic pact to help Europe start again, the countries who had said this the loudest held their purse-strings tight - after having locked down too late and hidden the truth about the casualties in their own countries. Convenient.

Italians are generally often seen as silly and not trustworthy. And nobody talks about how demeaning and disrespectful, and on the long run damaging, it is to portray us in such a stereotyped way which at best is good for a laugh. The prejudices stick, and they have destroyed or turned into a living hell many existences.

There are huge now discussions about banning films like e.g. Gone With the Wind due to its “clichéd portrayal of Blacks”. Nobody talks about abolishing The Godfather or other films of that kind although they contribute to the stigma that Italians are either all in league with the mafia, or easy-going, silly folks who sing and drink wine all day and have no idea of what hard work means. Most Italians have too much personal pride to victimize themselves and bo-hoo “the rest of the world just won’t understand us”. They love their country but that does not make them not blind to its shortcomings. I hope they stay that way. In any case, I intend to.

  3. The Actual Problem: Bullying

I can sympathize with anyone who comes out as trans because I know what it’s like to be bullied. I was bullied myself for many years due to my Italian origin as well as my upbringing while I had to live among persons who were on a lower social level than I. I was e.g. accused of being stuck-up and “inhibited”. I know now that the female bullies were envious of my self-esteem and insinuating that I was missing “fun”; while the males were counting on another girl being at any guy’s disposal for free and were angry when I didn’t let them have their way with me. 

The actual problem with any kind of intolerance and discrimination is bullying. Whatever form it takes, bullying is or ought to be unacceptable. Bullies will be bullies, they do not care who they harass and why: if they e.g. can be convinced to leave trans people alone, they will vent their frustrations and build up their self-image by bullying people who are fat or black or whatever. Except trans people won’t be there to witness that (unless by coincidence they are both trans and fat / black etc.) 

We live in a world that gives a great deal of importance on competitiveness; as a result, even in families, schools and other institutions that ought to educate children and youngsters to be respectful towards themselves and others, bullying is often not seen as such, or simply downplayed as “assertiveness”. Bullies do not want to hear reasonable argumentation and learn to be sympathetic: they want to show off their power, provoke an emotional reaction from their victims to see how far they can go, and gloat when they can hurt them. They will not change their minds and they will never be trustworthy, no matter how many discussions about your particular situation you have with them. 

To bullies, the world is a jungle where only the strongest have the right to survive; any attempt to make them rethink their attitude will only make them laugh at their victims’ alleged stupidity (because that’s what a humane, respectful attitude is to them) even more. The only language they understand is violence. If you are bullied, protect and, if you can, defend yourself; never try to discuss. Minorities were silent and subdued for such a long time with good reason: because they knew that the more they held their heads up and did not hide what made them different, the more targets they offered for bullies. No one ought to go in hiding because he is queer or black or Jewish etc., but sometimes it’s unavoidable simply for self-protection. I am almost fifty years old and I have never witnessed a nasty person changing for the better. If anything, they became worse, because every time they got away, they felt more superior than before.

Particularly sly bullies will make their victims believe that they have changed, maybe even pulling off the role “I’m a victim myself”. Please, please, whether you belong to a group of minorities or not: don’t listen to them. Ever. Maybe they once were victims, but it turned them into arseholes, and now they are sunk too far in their own filth to care. Compassion is a good thing, but it should never go as far as to delude yourself, endure abuse and sympathize until you become an object for compassion yourself.

For instance, I like wearing dresses, cooking and sewing and looking after my household. Fifty years ago, that would have made me a pattern housewife; nowadays, feminists would either want to strangle me or at least have a good laugh at my expense. This just goes to show how short-sighted any kind of prejudice and bullying is. Any human being ought to follow its own nature with a healthy self-esteem, and esteem others as well. But with our today’s view of the world we are supposed to be not altruistic and respectful but “strong” so that “we will make our way in life” (i.e. feed capitalism in any way we can); and nothing can make you feel “strong” more easily than finding someone who is allegedly weaker and pick on him. We are expected to be “winners”, and the first thing winners need are “losers” to serve them as a foil. The pool from which to choose is large.

  4. Who Is Subject to Intolerance Can’t Be Intolerant… Really?

For many years of my life, I always found myself a supporter of someone who was ostracized for one reason or another.

A woman who had left her husband. (It was the early Eighties.) A gay man. A girl who had been harassed by being called ugly. A woman who had been abused sexually by a family member. A woman from East Germany (I live in the West and there are lots of prejudices.)

For the record: these persons were of different age, origin, upbringing, social status, intellectual level and character, and they did not know one another.

I knew and supported them for years, listening, loyal, supportive, interested in their problems and personal development. I never attacked or criticized them. And each and every one of them sooner or later accused me of “not understanding them” and “being prejudiced towards them”. In the case of the abused woman this was particularly unfair because I have been abused myself in my family, though psychically and not sexually. The divorced woman, my own mother, viciously accused me of lying and being in league with her ex-husband after I had been loyal only to her for entire decades.

It appears these people only were my “friends” as long as I told them what they wanted to hear. When I suffered, I was put off with “pull yourself together”. Like I had no problems, because the only people in the world having problems were them. Thank you very much. So, I was supposed to accept their growing insolence due to their being such poor victims, while from their point of view I deserved neither understanding nor respect.

Only recently, in the aftermath of the riots caused by the killing of George Floyd, I posted a comment on a video on youtube… guess what. I was immediately attacked by a black woman saying that my “stupid remark” just went to prove how a white person would never understand “things like these”. She had not even read my post carefully enough to understand what I actually wanted to say, she simply felt entitled to offend me.

I do not say that I dislike trans people or that they are bad, I’m sure there are as many good or bad people among them as anywhere. If someone says e.g. that though born with male organs they identify as female that is their very own affair. I must not like it or understand it. Tolerance means leaving other people alone to do as they please. Any person is “bad” only the moment they behave badly towards others; being different from the mainstream does not count.

But when I have to watch and read people nowadays defending trans or gays or blacks or some other minority, believing to be being open-minded or particularly noble and heroic by supporting them, all I can say is that I have been there and it did me no good. I won’t get caught up in another wave of “minority tolerance”: in my experience, it’s a waste of time. Many of those who now proudly burn their Harry Potter books and proclaim that they will no longer support the author, respectively that they “love Harry Potter but love trans people more” will make the experiences I made. Except they most probably won’t talk about that, because these experiences are so humiliating.

Minorities of any kind do not want to be supported, understood and defended by people who are not in their shoes: it hurts their personal pride. Which I can understand, although it’s a lame excuse for being mean to the very persons whom they expect help and support from. They will tend to envy the ones who do not have their problems due to being white / straight / cis etc., and consequently turn a blind eye to the fact that these can have huge problems of their own. Many of them expect their supporters not only to understand them but to support them enthusiastically at every turn, and if these don’t, (or if there is the slightest reason for them to assume that they don’t) these “victims” will feel entitled to be offended and become vicious aggressors, with a whole fan club behind them protecting their backs and convinced of promoting a honorable cause.

I am fed up with being tolerant. It seems you can hardly do anything anymore without offending someone: watching Disney movies or old classics, wearing a pink dress, calling a woman a woman instead of woman / trans / cis / non-binary etc. There is always someone who will point to these things saying why they’re not right.

I’m sorry but clichés, prejudices and stereotypes can’t be totally avoided: the human brain is not wired to know all facts about everything and everyone. What you can do is teach children and adolescents to be respectful towards everybody, even if they don’t like a particular person or group. Nobody has the right to force you to like everybody and to agree with every life style. But it seems the world has become full of people who seem to have nothing better to do but feel personally offended at the drop of a hat and make a fuss about how hurt their feelings are. Helping someone out who is in a difficult situation is not the same as catering to the keyed-up hysterics of some entitled brat. Seeing the difference between these two can be quite difficult because the latter often show their true face only after years and years, when they realize that for some reason or other, they can no longer squeeze you out for their personal benefit giving nothing back.

Who follows my account is aware that I did not like The Rise of Skywalker. Heaven knows I wrote enough about it. But I did not and will not harass the studios twittering, mailing, making youtube videos etc. ranting and raving about what rubbish it supposedly is for years, like the haters of The Last Jedi. Listening to them, one would think their whole reason for living had been destroyed on purpose. We most probably largely have to thank them for the Episode IX disaster, the flattest and most uninteresting Star Wars film ever made; not to mention the harassment the actress Kelly Marie Tran was subject to. Anyone has the right to dislike the development the authors chose for the saga, but for heaven’s sake: after all, it’s just a movie. If such a relatively insignificant thing can be hyped up like this, I don’t want to know what’s in store coming from people who feel offended for much more personal reasons, like race or gender.

Tolerance cannot be one-sided; it cannot mean that whatever one side wants does not have to be reasonable or useful, but they are entitled to scream and yell until the other side gives in. (If for no other reason than to satisfy them so they will finally shut it.)

  Conclusions (I did warn you…)

I. Hogwarts is not my world

Hogwarts is supposed to sound like a dream come true, but I never liked the idea of a “school” where pupils, who are still children and adolescents, are taught spells and engaged in games and tournaments where they have to risk life and limb. These facts are commonly overlooked, I guess, because “the heroes” usually don’t get hurt. The heroes overcome their traumata but do not get wiser from them, on the contrary: their suffering is supposed to make them seem nobler so that we will root for them more. Harry loses his parents before he could get to know them; his adoptive family mistreats him, but he doesn’t care about them; Cedric dies in his stead, but they were not close friends; Dumbledore dies when Harry was getting too old for a father figure; Snape dies, but Harry never liked him either. The list could go on. Harry always remains an innocent; he never gets to look into a metaphorical mirror where he has to see all of the bad that is inside of him, his darker sides are always projected and personified by someone else. (When he does look into a metaphorical mirror in the first book and movie, he finds out that the Philosopher’s stone is, magically, in his pocket. How convenient.)

I can’t invest emotionally in a fictional character who stands out before having earned or deserved it. Harry is like a Chosen One who skips the hero’s journey: from an abusive household, he is catapulted into a whole new world made of mystery and wonder, where he immediately is singled out, admired before he lifts a finger, unexplainably lucky, awed due to his heritage, envied by who is not as special as he. Harry remains untainted by own sins because other people do the dirty work for him; which seems ok because they are, for one reason or another, uncool - Dumbledore = old, Ron = weak / foolish, Hermione / Snape = unpleasant, his parents = dead, and so on. Yes, Harry sometimes makes mischief, but people usually cut him slack because of his past as an abused child, his parent’s tragic death, and his undefinable power that makes him resist the Evil One. The Dursleys, Snape and Draco don’t tolerate him, which is why they are coded as villains or at least very disagreeable characters. How do you recognize a villain in these stories? Simple, he’s being mean to Harry. Everybody else gives him special treatment because you don’t want to upset the person whom you expect to defeat the ultimate villain. I always found his character bland and uninteresting. We e.g. learned why Snape was so lonely and bitter, but not why Harry was so “good” although he had grown up unloved, in an abusive household, until he was eleven. 

For decades now Harry Potter fandoms and clubs gather all over the world proudly proclaiming that they are something really special and not like “them Muggles”. No wonder these stories are so popular with who feels misunderstood and downtrodden. Wouldn’t it be nice to be born with capacities ordinary people can’t even dream of? When maybe you’re just a common person, shocking thought. Nowadays, if you want to be someone outstanding, make it up in your mind and it automatically becomes true. And if you identify with the protagonist, you get to be a hero before you did anything special into the bargain. Harry is a victim of other person’s sins and / or blunders and his story is about unfolding the details of his victimhood and correcting them so he gets his happy ending. We are supposed to sympathize with this: well, I can’t. Victimhood and alleged inborn virtue are insufficient to make a protagonist “overcome his trials” and emerge triumphantly over his sidekicks or enemies, without any real loss on his side, while they get killed or, at best, ridiculed. And I will not pick up the part of that sidekick any more.

 II. Feminism Is Not My World

While I am an advocate for women’s independence, I do not identify as a feminist. I have an independent nature: that does not mean I am or should be ashamed of being a lady. This where we live is the era of the tomboys, of the feisty, cool, tough females. And often they don’t just go their own way but feel entitled to scorn women who do have their own job and live with a man who respects them, but also like the color pink, pretty clothes, flowers, romantic stories and everything else the new wave feminism likes to dismiss as “brainwashing”. Today you can hardly let your daughter watch a Disney movie without being accused of undermining her identity with false ideas about womanhood because, oh wonder, it seems a “real woman” must think and act like a badass guy.

Louder for the feminists in the back: you can actually look and behave in a way that is coded as “female” and be intelligent, independent and self-respecting. Women who went their own way have existed in every age and culture, often making great achievements and changing the world around them; they were intelligent, compassionate and took matters into their own hands. They did not proclaim that they unfairly were victims of men: they knew how to make men respect them. Being a woman is not a stereotype thrust upon you, it’s natural. If someone rejects qualities that are identified as “female”, it’s their very own affair. If I wanted to return the offense, I might as easily say that “feminists” and “empowered females” are just too smug to do the dishes.

 III. Trans, cis, binary etc. is not my world

For millennia, people had to accept the sex they were born with. Now you can have surgery and take hormones to get rid of a problem which you can’t solve on your own. Sorry, but I can’t get my head around it: to me the gender diversity discussion is unnatural. Good and right things are always the same, they cannot change with time and “scientifical / medical progress”. Tomboyish females and same-sex lovers are as old as the world, but it’s only a few decades since you can surgically have your sex changed if you feel uncomfortable with it, and even less time since you can claim the right to be both male and female or not to choose any sex at all. Excuse me, what’s behind it? Fear of missing out? I know, nowadays we are supposed to “change the stars”, but excuse me, it’s not possible. Rowling did not change the stars: as I wrote above, she got lucky.

I can say from own experience that for healthy growth a person needs limits. It is not “tolerant”, in my opinion, to say that one can be male or female or binary or none of that, all by choice. If I raise a child calling it a boy because he was born with male organs, or by Catholic standards because I am a Catholic myself, I believe no one has the right to say that I am intruding into its personality. I would be intolerant if said child would later come out to me e.g. as trans or atheist and I would dismiss its identification and opinion as a matter of principle, or disown it altogether. Rejecting rules and values is like pretending that it is wrong to be e.g. female, or straight, or that Catholic values are rubbish. None of that is true. It is true that a trans or gay or atheist or Buddhist etc. is not automatically an immoral or inferior person.

I can accept other people’s choices about their gender identification; that doesn’t mean I must like or support their mindset. It doesn’t automatically make me “transphobic”. If it is intrusive or intolerant to say that someone is male because he was born with male organs, what will come next? Will “normal” females no longer be entitled to protect their most intimate privacy because any guy can share our private space, like a public toilet or dress room, claiming he’s a woman (and he might well not be trans, but a lying voyeur?) Will we no longer give our children male or female names? Not teach them any values? No longer send them to kindergarten, to school, maybe not even feed or clothe them or furnish their nurseries according to our own judgement, because the poor babies can’t choose by themselves yet?

We all did not choose to be born in the first place.

If you want to protect your children from suffering, don’t have them: suffering is a part of life. Trans is not my world. I don’t want to destroy it or to behave rudely towards it; I simply do not want to have part in it. I want people to care for me, and to do so because I am me, not because I come out with this or another sexual orientation or make myself an advocate for people who belong to this or another minority.

All of the above is why I will not jump on the current “I defend minorities” respectively “I defend downtrodden victims” train. The good part is that I don’t have any Harry Potter book or merchandise I could burn anyway. 😊

Anyone who is uncomfortable with my point of view can unfollow me. Bullies will be blocked and reported without further ado. Greetings from a notorious Muggle.

#minorities #jk rowling #trans #harry potter #disney #gone with the wind #the godfather #goodfellas #feminism #prejudices #bullying #read more

[letterboxd]

Satisfied?

We examine what Letterboxd reviews of Hamilton reveal about the musical’s cultural currency in 2020.

In this absolutely insane year, when our love of movies feels helpless in the face of pandemic-induced economic collapse, some extremely good decisions are being made on behalf of audiences. Studio Ghibli on streaming platforms. Virtual screenings to support art house cinemas. Free streaming of many important films about Black experience. And: Disney+ releasing the filmed version of Hamilton: An American Musical—recorded at the Richard Rodgers Theater in 2016 with most of its original Broadway cast—a year ahead of schedule, on Independence Day weekend.

“Superlative pop art,” writes Wesley of the filmed musical. “Hamilton wears its influences and themes on its sleeve, and it’s all the better for it. Lin-Manuel Miranda and his team employ an unlikely cocktail of not only hip-hop and showtunes, but also jazz (‘What’d I Miss?’), British-Invasion pop-rock (‘You’ll Be Back’), folk music (‘Dear Theodosia’) and Shakespeare (‘Take a Break’) in service of developing an impressively vast array of themes. This is a testament to the power of writing, an immigrant narrative, a cautionary tale about ambition, a tragic family drama, and a reevaluation of who decides the narrative of history.”

2016 may only be a half-decade ago, but it feels like an eon in American political years. With theaters dark and America’s long record of racism under urgent scrutiny, the complex smash-hit lands back in the spotlight at an interesting time. Is Hamilton “the most offensive cultural artefact of the last decade”, as Lee writes? Or “timeless and wholly of the moment”, as Tom suggests? The answer, according to a deep read of your Letterboxd reviews, is “all of the above”.

First things first: why now?

Sophie has a theory:

“Disney executive: Hey we’re losing a lot of money because our parks are closed. How do we start making money again?

Other Disney executive: It might be nice, it might be nice… to get Hamilton on our side.”

Sure, business. Still, it’s historically unprecedented that a Broadway show of this caliber (a record-setting sixteen Tony nominations, eleven wins, plus a Grammy and a Pulitzer) would be filmed and released to the public while it’s still, in a Covid-free universe, capable of filling theaters every night. Will people stay away when Broadway reopens because they’re all Disney+’d out?

No chance, reckons Erika. “I’d still kill to see Hamilton live with any cast… I get why producers are afraid that these videos might hurt ticket sales, but I’m fucking ready to buy a ticket and fly to NY one day just to see as many shows as I can after watching this.”

Not every musical fan has the resources to travel, often waiting years for a touring version to come near their hometown. And even if you do live in a town with Hamilton, the ticket price is beyond many; a daily lottery the only way some of us get to go. So Holly-Beth speaks for many when she writes: “I entered the Hamilton lottery every day for almost two years but I never got to be in the room where it happens… however, this 4K recording of the original cast will do very nicely for now! Finally getting to see the context and performances after obsessing over the music for years was so, so satisfying.”

“Finally” is a common theme. Sydnie writes, “I love this musical with every fiber of my body and it was an extraordinary experience finally getting to watch it in Australia”. Flogic: “To finally be able to put the intended visuals to a soundtrack that I’ve had on repeat for such a long time: goosebumps for 160 minutes.” Newt Potter: “Now I fully understand people’s love for this masterpiece of a musical!”

I’ve got a small query for you.

Where’s the motherfucking swearing? Unsurprisingly, Disney+ comes with some limitations. For Hamilton, it’s the loss of a perfectly placed F-word.

“I know Disney is ‘too pure’ to let a couple of ‘fucks’ slip by,” writes Fernando, “but come on, it’s kind of distracting having the sound go out completely when they sing the very satisfying ‘Southern Motherfucking Democratic Republicans!’ line.”

Will agrees: “Disney cutting ‘motherfucking’ from ‘Washington on Your Side’ felt like sacrilege akin to Mickey Mouse taking an eyebrow pencil to the Mona Lisa.”

Nevertheless, sings Allison:

“Even tho Disney stripped the story of its f***s, Don’t think for a moment that it sucks.”

(Yes, she has a vegan alert for Hamilton.)

Does it throw away its shot?

The crew filmed two regular shows in front of live audiences, with additional audience-less sessions for a dolly, crane and Steadicam to capture specific numbers. The vast majority of you are satisfied. “It’s the most engaging and expertly crafted life filming I’ve seen since Stop Making Sense,” writes ArtPig. “The film does an incredible job of placing you right in the action. It feels like the best seat you could get in the theater. You can see the sweat and spit.”

“Translates perfectly onto the small screen,” agrees Ollie. “There’s a level of intimacy that feels hard to replicate in any other filmed production. We see those close ups, the passion and gusto behind every actor’s performance.”

“Shockingly cinematic for something filmed on such a small stage,” is Technerd’s succinct summary, while Paul praises director Thomas Kail: “He knows when to back away along with moving nearer when appropriate, and the choices always serve to govern the power and stamina of the performances.”

Though cast members’ voices were recorded on individual audio tracks, Noah had a few quibbles with the sound quality. “Some of the audio capture is off in the recording, sometimes voices being too soft or too loud. It’s not immersion breaking, but it is noticeable enough to irk me a little in pivotal moments. Some of the shot composition doesn’t fully work either. Of course nothing is going to be as good as seeing it in person.”

Robert, recalling another recent cinematic escapade of musical theater, lets his poetry do the talking:

“This will do for now until the true movie’s made, Though if Hooper directs, there’ll be an angry tirade.”

I think your pants look hot.

Hamilton fans have their cast favorites, but something about being able to see Jonathan Groff’s spittle and Leslie Odom Jr’s scowls in 4K has you losing it all over again. Several specific shout-outs we enjoyed:

“Daveed Diggs the Legend! Go watch Blindspotting (2018), it’s one of the best movies ever!” —Kyle

“It’s hard to believe anyone will ever top Leslie Odom Jr. as Aaron Burr. I already loved him from the original cast recording, but seeing his full performance in all its glory was just godly.” —Erika

“Thankful that it was made possible for me to view with such clarity the phenomenon that is Renée Elise Goldsberry and spectacular Phillipa Soo.” —Thea

“Daveed Diggs was electrifying and Jonathan Groff was absolutely hilarious. If they interacted together the stage would’ve combusted from the sheer will of their talent.” —Nick

This is not a game.

On one hand, the release of Hamilton is sweet relief for music theater nerds riding out the pandemic. A generation of kids knows every word by heart, rapping (this version of) American history like it’s no thing. On the other, the Obama-era musical already feels behind-the-times, even for many Hamilton lovers, and the filmed version has brought that into sharp focus.

“I listened to the OG cast album about 50 times when it came out, the production is about as good as I’d always hoped,” writes Josh. “Since then however there’s been a very important and broader reckoning with the failures of neoliberalism and the Obama years ([from] which this has to be the most emblematic piece of art) and for me personally a drifting further to the left that has resulted in a very different relationship with the material. So my feelings today are a bit more complicated.”

“Hamilton is extremely non-committal about its politics,” writes Sting. “It doesn’t examine much of what Hamilton dictated besides ‘he wants complete financial control of the country’ (which would sound like a fucking supervillain in any other context, including reality).”

That lack of political commitment, reckons Morgan, is what helped Hamilton as a musical become so popular: “It’s fun. It’s catchy. It interweaves trendy and socially relevant artistic tools to infer a subversive subtext, while simultaneously sanitizing and, at times, flat out fabricating the historical narrative and downplaying the brutality of the true origin story, for the sake of appeasing those in power. Classic Bill Shakespeare stuff.”

History has its eyes on you.

Much criticism lies with the fundamental storytelling decision to make a modern ruckus about America’s Founding Fathers, the men (including Alexander Hamilton) who in the late eighteenth century united the thirteen colonies and co-wrote the Constitution. Undisputed titans of history, they also have blood on their hands, and HoneyRose writes that the musical “glorifies these men, and paints them as self-sacrificing heroes, and honestly normalizes and validates slavery, as well as the behavior of slave owners.”

Stevie, who saw the Broadway production as well as the filmed version, confesses: “I’ve tried (I’ve really tried) to understand what makes people lose their minds over this but I’m still completely baffled by the hype… These were horrible men and a romanticism of them through song and dance just seems entirely misguided.”

Sean is not convinced that Hamilton is a hagiography. “I can’t imagine anyone watching all of this and thinking it paints a portrait of the Founding Fathers as anything other than childish, greedy, venal and self-aggrandizing.” Wesley agrees: “I don’t think Hamilton is trying to be a history lesson, so much as a lesson about how we think about history. It’s a compelling human story told in a revolutionary way.”

That “revolutionary way” is the musical’s central conceit: that of a cast-of-color playing the white founding fathers as they bumble towards independence. Journalist Jamelle Bouie, who regards the musical as “fun, exciting, innovative and, at points, genuinely moving,” wrestles with the “celebratory narrative in which the Framers are men to admire without reservation. Through its casting, it invites audiences of color to take ownership of that narrative, as if they should want to take ownership of a narrative that white-washes the history of the revolution under the guise of inclusion.”

It’s complicated for Matt, too: “It’s widely agreed upon that the show encapsulates the Obama era better than anything, how it coddles white liberals with a post-racial vision of history in a superficial sense, overlooking the insidious and oppressive systems that they benefit from (hearing the audience clap to ‘Immigrants, we get the job done’ unsettled me). Of course hopefully its legacy will be that it opened up more Broadway roles for POC. But I really think that the show doesn’t make Broadway more appealing and accessible to POC, it just makes hip hop more accessible to white people, a launching pad of course to listening to Watsky or something.

“No hate though to anyone that’s completely in love with this, it’s definitely worth seeing despite any hang ups.”

I wanna build something that’s gonna outlive me.

The story doesn’t end, just because the music does. Kai_Kenn has a suggestion: “I have been a part of discussions that dissect the culture that created Hamilton, as well as the culture that Hamilton created, and whether or not Hamilton appropriately addresses the modern issues [that] the cult following proposes it does.

“This is an ongoing discussion that I am trying to be an active listener in and, if you consider yourself to be a conscientious consumer of art, you should too.”

Noah is on board with that: “Reflecting on the past and focusing on the future are not two mutually exclusive actions. Both are a must, regardless of who you are or what you do. A five-star experience in a four-and-a-half-star film. I think that’s just fine.”

Related content

Want to see more of the key cast? Watch Daveed Diggs in ‘Blindspotting’; Renée Elise Goldsberry in ‘Waves’, Jonathan Groff repeat his role as Kristoff in ‘Frozen 2’, Lin-Manuel Miranda in ‘Mary Poppins Returns’, Leslie Odom Jr. in ‘Harriet’, Phillipa Soo in the forthcoming ‘Broken Hearts Gallery’, Christopher Jackson in the forthcoming ‘In The Heights’, Jasmine Cephas Jones in ‘The Photograph’, Okiereriete Onaodowan in ‘A Quiet Place II’ and Anthony Ramos in ‘Monsters and Men’ and ‘A Star is Born’.

Ways to support the Black Lives Matter movement

Official Black Lives Matter’s Resources

Teenagers that have ‘Hamilton’ stuff on their bedroom walls

Films where they mention ‘Hamilton’

#hamilton #hamilton an american musical #disney #disney plus #disney+ #lin manuel miranda #leslie odom jr #daveed diggs #founding fathers #constitution #broadway #richard rodgers theatre #jonathan groff #letterboxd #renee elise goldsberry #phillipa soo #christopher jackson #musical theater edit #musical theatre #anthony ramos

[dictacontrion]

About the Draco/Harry Nazi AUs

In response to several asks and messages about this round and the last.

First, I want to summarize and center the takeaways that come at the end of this post: 

Complicity with, silence around, or diffuse support for bigotry matters. It is not neutral. 

This is not - it is never - about one or two people, but about how communities signal that they will or won’t tolerate bigotry. 

But do beware of people who are more interested in trying to garner sympathy than in taking responsibility 

This recurrence may be in part because popular members of this community have defended and protected people who were involved in propagating romanticized misinformation about Nazism in the past. Certainly, this community has not taken a zero-tolerance policy towards this content. 

This type of event is not isolated to two events or to antisemitism - see e.g. RaceFail 

If we want to make fandom a space that does not support bigotry, we must stand against it loudly and unequivocally

We must do this even - especially - when it involves holding our friends and community members accountable, and even if it is uncomfortable. 

If we are not willing to speak up and take action in defense of our principles, those principles mean nothing. 

That said: 

I’m not going to name names in this post – not because I don’t think there are good reasons for people to want to know who was involved, but because the naming of names was used to derail the conversation last time. All of these people are still active in fandom and on tumblr, and if you want to know who the main players are, I’ll tell you in a private message.

Last January, an artist posted a picture that depicted Draco as a Nazi and Harry as a Nazi prisoner. The caption (with tags that will become relevant in a minute) read:

I - as a Jewish person, as a queer person, and as a member of this fannish community – found this disturbing for a number of reasons. The idea of a Nazi AU squicks me hard enough on its own. This piece also used anti-semitic language, suggested that a “Jew servant” would fall in love with a Nazi soldier and that it could be the case that “war brought them together” when the war was predicated on the genocide of Jewish people, Roma people, disabled people, and queer people. That last bit is important too; the piece ignored/erased the Third Reich’s internment and killing of queer people, and suggested that same-sex love could flourish in the Nazi regime. All of this adds up to misinformation that is – always, but especially in the current global political climate – dangerous.

A well-known author and blogger in the H/D fandom reblogged this piece, including the caption, with supportive tags, as pictured above. They were the first, and at that point only, person to reblog the piece, and without that reblog it's unlikely that it would have gained attention or been seen by many people. Several people pointed this out to them. They responded to private messages from me and several others and, iirc, to anons, saying that they hadn’t been aware, that they hadn’t seen the caption, that they hadn’t done anything wrong, that “the art by itself is lovely and it was for that very plain and simple reason that I reblogged it,” and that they shouldn’t have to and were not going to apologize or remove the art from their blog.

It would have been very, very easy at this point for the reblogger to apologize and remove the piece. They chose not to.

I contacted the artist and the reblogger privately before making any public statements. The artist defended their work unequivocally. The person who reblogged it continued to defend their reblog of and support for the work across several back-and-forths.

While this was going on, I made a very general post about it: "so some of y’all are starting 2018 by adding antisemitismn and ignorance of historical homophobia to the giant flaming pile of homophobic stereotypes in the tumblr drarry fandom, huh? not a good look, folks. "

A third person – also a well-known author and blogger – entered the fray at that point. They replied to that post, saying that I was "having fun vaguely calling people out" and "mak[ing] people paranoid."

In response to that comment and other ongoing conversation happening in the moment, I then reblogged and added on to my post. I named both the artist and the reblogger and said that that their actions, in creating the art and in giving it a large platform, were “moving into a territory of softening and downplaying the significance of horrific actions taken against, and ideologies that still endanger, queer and Jewish people. I don’t know about y’all, but I have less than zero tolerance for that.”

I stand by that statement.

Following that addition, along with several other bloggers’ posts about it and continued criticism from a number of people, the reblogger took down the art and apologized.

I had never engaged with either the artist or the reblogger before this encounter. I have not engaged with them since. I would have been content to leave it there.

However, the third person reblogged and commented on my expanded post. In that reblog, they defended the reblogger's actions, said that I was being unfair to the reblogger, that the reblogger was very upset at being attacked like this, that I wasn’t really concerned about the post but was using it as an excuse to attack the reblogger (who, again, I had not named prior to the third person's accusation that my vagueness was making people paranoid, and who I had never previously interacted with), and said that I should leave fandom.

The third person is someone I had engaged with beforehand, though have not engaged with since. I had not contacted them about this set of events; they initiated this exchange.

I will also note that they had left provocative comments on my posts prior to this, including telling me that I should leave fandom. I have heard through multiple grapevines that this, generally and in the specific instance of the debate around the Nazi AU, was intentional – that, because I wasn’t excited about their work (though also did not criticize it) and because I was critical of fannish trends their friends supported, they were trying to get me to do something that would give them reason to call me out, to make me look bad, to paint me as a bad actor. This is consistent with other interactions I had had with them – with they way they spoke to me about other people, and the way they had behaved towards me previously.

What that means, in this case, is that this person exploited the fact that I – as a queer person, as a Jewish person – was upset by and angry about antisemitic and homophobic art, to get a reaction that they could use towards their fannish political ends. 

This person used the vulnerabilities that are an unavoidable part of my life in the real world to provoke me so that they could malign me in fannish space.

This third person has since made a public statement, as well as a private one to me (which I have not responded to), about their actions. These statements have had several things in common. They have consistently painted themselves as in need of and deserving of sympathy. They have never named or apologized for the harm they caused. They never take responsibility - there is no “I’m sorry for defending the spread of misinformation about Nazism” or “I acknowledge that my actions may have signaled to white supremacists that they can spread their ideas in this space” or “I apologize for supporting an action that harmed people within my community” or “I was wrong to stand up in defense of the spread of the romanticization of the Third Reich." They have never, to my knowledge, come out and said that their defense of someone who gave antisemitic and homophobic art a platform was wrong. They have, however, talked about why this has been hard for them, about how difficult it is to hear other people tell them that they are wrong, about how it’s made them cry and how they feel so bad about it all.

It’s made me cry, too. It’s made me feel more uncomfortable and unwelcome and unsafe in fannish space than anything else ever has. It was and continues to be a reminder that the people who I am in community with may very well hate the things I am, and may have no reservations about using that against me. It’s made me withdraw from fannish spaces.

As all of this was happening, a number of other creators and bloggers seemed to get on side with the reblogger and the third person. A number of authors who I had known for some time and had respected and counted as friends or friendly acquaintances unfollowed me after this third person’s very vocal insistence that I was a bully (which, I'm told, extended beyond those public posts). Several people have told me that, following this, reccing my fic or referring to my posts became unofficially verboten in the Drarry Discord and other semi-public fannish spaces. The reblogger and the third person have a lot of sway in this community. They used it - used my reaction to antisemitic, homophobic work that glamorized Nazis - to provoke a reaction and use it isolate me from a space that had been a respite, to create an environment that felt so hostile and uncomfortable that, for a long time, I couldn’t stand to be here.

This whole string of events - the creation and promotion of bigoted works, the defense of that creation and promotion, the unwillingness to learn or hear criticism or take responsibility, the framing of people who are asked to reckon with their actions as victims, the framing of people who insist on naming and resisting bigotry as bullies or problems, the isolation and vilification of people who speak up - is not unique to me, or to this case. It happens over and over and over again, in spaces online and off. It will keep happening unless we stand in its way. 

I still do not regret my refusal to tolerate antisemitism and homophobia in this community. I would do the same again. I only hope I would - I perpetually aspire to - do it with just as much conviction and just as much willingness to take risk for those of you who are marginalized in other ways, and who also look to this community as something of a respite from that.

At the time, I was too upset to say any of this. I was panicked. I was hurt. I just needed to get out. But I’ve since wished that I had said more, so I am now, particularly as I see some dynamics of it playing out again.

Again, if there are takeaways worth taking away, it’s these:

Complicity matters. Silence matters. Support for people who give a platform to bigotry matters, even if you call it by another name. It is not neutral. I know that no one has the energy to respond to every thing at every time - but if you use the energy you do have to defend and excuse it, you are worse than complicit. 

This is not – it is never - about one or two people. There were quite a few people who supported and excused the artist’s work, the reblogger’s decision to give it a platform and initial refusal to apologize, and the third person’s defense of the reblogger.

But do beware of people who refuse to apologize, who paint themselves as victims instead of taking responsibility for what they’ve done.

If this is recurring, it may well be in part because popular members of this community defended and protected people who were involved in propagating romanticized misinformation about Nazism. It may well be because people have signaled that those who want to tell stories and spread ideas that glamorize Nazism will not only get away with it, but will be defended and protected.

This is not an isolated event. This pattern of behavior has recurred again and again in fandom. Especially if you are not already familiar with it, please see the fanlore entry on RaceFail.

If we want to keep fandom from being a space that does not support Nazism, white supremacy, racism, homophobia, antisemitism, ableism, and all other forms of bigotry, we must do what I still do not regret doing: we must stand against it loudly and unequivocally.

We must do this even – especially – when it involves holding our friends and members of our community accountable. We must do this even when it is uncomfortable.

If we are not willing to speak up and take action, if we are not willing to risk our comfort, risk our status, risk our ease in order to defend freedom and equality, than we are not defenders freedom and equality. If we are not willing to speak up and take action in defense of our principles, our principles mean nothing.  

#antisemitism #nazism #white supremacy #bigotry #drarry #fandom is not immune from prejudice #which is all the more reason to be aware of it and to reject it

[hennessystevens-udaku]

My Bloody Valentine

A little twisted Love Day fic for my favorite rebel @thereturnofbadazz!

“I wonder how many lovers are gonna die today,” Aly’Sha said with sneer as she watched the news.

“What yo lil psycho ass talking about, Sha Sha,” Erik asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, it’s Valentine’s Day. Why you talking about folks dying?” Kimora chirped from the other side of the living room.

“It’s also Purge Day,” Aly’Sha responds casually.

“You mean poor man elimination day,” Angel says, cradling the twins closer. Now that she was older, she didn’t see the point of violence as a means of “cleansing” the country of its sins.

“Yeah that shit’s stupid,” Erik agreed, flipping the station. “Just another tactic white folks use to eradicate black folks. Alright ladies, if y’all don’t mind, me and Mama got a date,” Erik says with a sly grin in Hennessy’s direction.

“Actually baby, I was thinking maybe you could spend the day with another wife. You’ve spent the last 16 Valentine’s Days with me, spoil someone else,” she says not looking up from her MacBook. She was in the process of scouting out new locations for her dispensary and wasn’t exactly in the mood to break concentration. Before Erik could ask which of his wives would be the lucky lady this year, Ryley stormed into the house, chest rising and falling quickly with anger.

“What’s the matter, Princess?” he asked from his relaxed position on the couch.

“Them white bitches down the street keep fuckin with me. I’m trying to be nice and keep it cute since I’m a princess now and shit, but they about to make Ryley Badazz come out of retirement!” Erik chuckled at her, loving how sexy she got when she was angry.

“Calm down, Ry Ry. Tell Daddy what happened.” He listened intently, blood boiling as she explained how the Becky’s with the stringy hair had egged her car, slashed her tires, and had been overall mocking her for the past week.

“Calm down baby. You’re a princess, don’t lower your standards for peasants.”

“That’s cute and all, but look at what they spray painted on the house.” Erik’s smirk quickly faded to a menacing mug when he saw the words ‘Killmonger’s a bitch’ spray painted in bright red paint on the northern wall of The Kompound. Without another word, he made his way downstairs to his arsenal with Ryley hot on his heels.

“How about we show them white bitches who run shit,” he called over his shoulder.

“What you mean, Daka?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well it’s Valentine’s Day and it’s also Purge Day, so how about for our date we show them why they shouldn’t fuck with the Stevens-Udaku household?” Ryley’s face twisted into a devilish grin as she gazed upon the various weapons.

Wanna play, Candy Girl?” he asked as he handed her the Swarovski studded M-16.

“Let’s play, Daddy.”

--

“Y’all sure y’all don’t wanna get in on the action?” Erik asked the remaining wives as he prepared for the night’s festivities.

“This is Ryley’s night, why you inviting other people?” Henny scolded from her relaxed position between Charlie’s plush thighs. They had all agreed to watch the events from the body cameras Shuri had installed on his and Ryley’s protective armor, Angel not wanting to engage in the sport because she didn’t see the point of senseless violence.

“You right, Mama,” Erik replied solemnly, looking over at Ryley. “My bad, Princess.”

“It’s cool, Fathead. Now let’s go murder some white bitches,” she says with a laugh. She was all dolled up in a pink and black bejeweled bodysuit with a pink tutu and thigh high Louboutin Frenchissima boots. On her head, she donned a pink headdress that matched her bodysuit, each piece made out of vibranium to keep her safe. Not like anyone would dare try to harm a Princess of Wakanda.

“Damn you look good enough to eat, Ry Ry,” Erik said as he admired her attire.

“Later, Daka. We got business to handle first.” The announcement sounded as the pair finished adjusting their masks.

This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual Purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 a.m., when The Purge concludes. Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn. May God be with you all.

At the sound of the alarm, Erik and Ryley made their way outside to his blacked out Lamborghini Aventador with butterfly doors. For aesthetic effect, he blasted the psycho version of I Got 5 On It as he maneuvered the car down the street.

“Which house baby?”

“That one, that last one on the right.”

“Sha Sha, do your thing, baby.”

In an instant, the target house went completely dark and all of their protective armor was disabled, leaving them completely exposed to the outside world.

“How did you even do that?” Kimora asked Aly’Sha, whose face was buried in her iPhone.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to,” Hennessy answered for her.

“You ready, Ry Ry?”

“Let’s go.”

The pair exited the vehicle and slowly crept to the bay window that displayed the living room. The owners of the dwelling could be seen crowded around one another, a desperate attempt to protect themselves. Idiots.

“Sha Sha, do the thing.”

With another press of a button, the living room began to fill with tear gas, forcing the occupants of the house to run off in different directions, unintentionally aiding the pair in their sadistic plan.

“Time to go hunting,” Erik says as he kicked the door in.

--

“Aye, Vita,” Bast called out quizzically to Big Sis meandering in her lab. “Why you not upstairs watching Erik and Ry Ry turn up on the Beckys?”

Vita had a theatrical setup with a projector and surround sound. It was as if she converted her space into a miniature IMAX theater.

“Because, I have some unfinished business that's about to play out on this computer screen,” she explained leaning back in her seat, gathering her snacks, getting comfortable.

“What unfinished business?”

“Did I ever tell you the story of how I came to own Amazon?”

“Since when did you own Amazo-”

“See, what had happened was…”

He bowed before me, kneeling with great shame and humility. Once a proud, vain man now driven to begging. It's his own fault you know, this present state of duress. Often times when you wish to destroy your enemy you don't have to pull the trigger yourself, you only have to had them the gun and watch them blow their own brains out.

What made him a target, you ask? They were the vices he frequently indulged himself in; greed, lust, hubris, all of which led him to being an easy mark.

What were the bullets I used? His disgruntled employees, his gullible mistress, his betrayed wife, his disloyal business associates. Each pawn having been strategically used for my benefit and mine alone.

What pulled the trigger? He dared to insult me as if I were anything less than greatness. He'd the nerve to belittle my life's work as if I weren't a force to be reckoned with. I had just finished a masterful presentation of my future plans for my then budding tech company and as everyone else showered me with my well deserved praise he thought it humorous to describe my exemplary business model as “cute”. I could not let such a slight get away with impunity, a lesson needed to be taught.

Shortly after his billion dollar divorce when his liaisons with another woman were “mysteriously” leaked he tried to push his already exhausted workers even further which led to an international strike, that lasted for several months due to strikers being funded by an “anonymous” donor that helped them pay their bills at home and even finance ad campaigns to expose the heinous labor practices of the company, causing a severe decline in business. With sales and online traffic on the decline stocks careened further into the economic abyss leaving investors dissatisfied. Receiving inside information from an “unknown” source, they collectively decided to relocate their interests into another expedition… Mine.

That's right, my “cute” little business became a worldwide conglomerate seemingly overnight. And he could have shared in that wealth had he not crossed me. Now I, Davita Roberson, tower over him as he's become a hollow shell of his former self, selling what remains of his share in his dying company for pennies of what it used to be. Both his ex wife and former flame have found new loves that I helped introduced them to, his former workers are living more fulfilled lives under my employ, and I've blackballed all of those crooked investors because they couldn't be trusted.

Jeff will have to live out the remainder of his life buried in debt and regret, but who cares. The moment he affronted me was the instant he sealed his fate…

“And that's what happened,” Vita concluded.

With a roll of her eyes Bast couldn't help but ask,“You righteously decided to pull a massive company takeover because he called your business cute?”

“He was being passive aggressive. By calling my business plan “cute” he was downplaying it as if I were some child. He was belittling me and underestimated my capabilities. So bitch had it comin!”

“Aight aight, so what does that have to do with this little personal movie night you got going?”

“Well, Bezos couldn't stand being broke so he sold his body for a Purge Feast. He was right back to living his old lifestyle only on someone else's dime.”

“OK? That sounds amazing, what's the catch and what is a Purge Feast? Is he about to be gangbanged, what?”

“He's about to be eaten.”

“WHAT?”

“When a person donates their body to a Purge Feast they are provided a lavish lifestyle, they have to be disease free, drug free, given massages to ensure their tenderness and are put on a supremely exquisite diet of delicacies so that they're meat is undeniably sweet. Jeff has been fattened, and now is the time for the slaughter.”

“Ooooooh shit scoot over, bitch!”

The two women watched as Bezos was guided onto a giant chopping block placed on a stage. He was stripped bare naked then instructed to lay face down on the human sized cutting board. The executioner came into view wielding a great axe with a long blade, sharp enough to split hairs. The massive weapon was hoisted into the air then brought down upon the back of the former CEO’s neck. A clean cut, in only one swipe the head was severed and the blood gushed forth like the intense orgasm of a woman. The executioner continued to dissect the body as a flock of chef's assistants scurried to pick up the pieces while avoiding the swings. Once completed, the good was quickly prepared and presented to a dinner party that catered to the adventurous elites of society. As the soiree carried on, Davita took a bite of her own snacks, inhaling deeply, savoring the moment.

“Mmmm, delicious.”

--

“My bloody valentine, sweet comic Valentine. You make me smile with my heart,” Erik’s deep voice sang from the body cam. Charlie, Kimora, Hennessy, and Aly’Sha watched with glee as their husband dismembered one of the sisters, impaling her on the banister of the grand staircase of the foyer. So far, the pair had murdered three of the six members of the family and were searching for the patriarchs of the family. They passed the young boy’s severed head and the second sister’s torso on the way upstairs. They found the mother and father huddled in their shared bedroom, the mother clutching a bible to her chest.

“Why white people always turn to God when they about to die?” Erik inquired, more rhetorically than anything.

“P-Please don’t hurt us. We’ll give you anything you want,” the woman attempted to bargain.

“Bitch I’m a Prince, I don’t need ya money. I’m just here to give your family a lesson in respect. Now, I’ll only ask this once, where’s Penelope?”

“What do you want with my daughter?” the father asked with a little too much bass in his voice. Erik fired a warning shot to his right thigh before answering.

“I ask the questions here, Bob, but if you must know, the little bitch vandalized my property and harassed my wife. She just wants an apology, right Ry Ry?”

“Yes Daddy,” Ryley said with mock sincerity.

“She’s downstairs, under the staircase.”

“Say less,” Ryley said, skipping downstairs to the girl’s hiding place. She growled with anger when she discovered the spot was empty.

“That bitch lying, Daddy!” Another set warning shots went off upstairs, this time striking the mother in the ribs and the father in the shoulder.

“See, I was tryna be nice about this. I’m already gone kill y’all, don’t expedite the process. Where the fuck is she?”

“I’m right here you black bastard!” Suddenly the entire room exploded in flames as Penelope appeared with a flamethrower. When the flames dispersed, Erik stood completely unharmed with a twisted grin on his face.

“You really though you did some shit, huh?” Penelope’s face twisted in horror as she watched Ryley appear behind her with a metal baseball bat, a weapon she’d gotten from the younger boy’s room. With one hard hit to the head, Penelope was out. Erik and Ryley the drug the bodies downstairs, tying them up in the center of the living room.

“We are gonna purge today, purge today, purge today. We are gonna purge today and burn this bitch down,” Ryley sang gleefully as they exited the house.

“Sha Sha, cue the fireworks.”

In an instant the entire house exploded, lighting up the entire neighborhood like the 4th of July. As a means to commemorate the night, the couple made love on the hood of the Lamborghini, the screams of the dying family serving as their background music.

“Wow. That was hot,” Charlie said as Erik emptied himself onto Ryley’s bloodsoaked face.

“Literally,” Hennessy said in agreement. Suddenly, Ryley’s voice could be heard from the cam.

“Happy Purge Day, sluts!”

***************************

TAGS: @itsangeludaku @hearteyes-for-killmonger @poosypoosy @vikkidc @panthergoddessbast @blackpantherismyish @dameshaemonique @sydneebleu @amethyst1993 @blowmymbackout @trevantesbrat @thadelightfulone @princessstevens @princesskillmonger @killmongersgurl @tgigoldie @supersizemeplz @wawakanda-btch @bidibidibombaclaat @calitexastrillgoddess @thehomierobbstark @mareethequeen @iamrheaspeaks @forbeautyandlife @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove

#the kompound #my shit #wifey fics #ryley badazz #ryley the rebel #killmonger fic

[no-longer-an-alley-cat]

‘“Asexual” Isn’t Who I Am’: The Politics of Asexuality

by Matt Dawson, Susie Scott, and Liz McDonnell

Comedic commentary that might verge on insightful by me.

Join me as I try and fucking deal with this particular hangup I have

Arright, so basically these folks are reacting to other folks who say that asexuality is the fucking cats pajamas and is going to do everything from redefining relationships to destroying neoliberalism.

Basically, they’re saying that this is telling asexual people how they ought to be, and not actually looking at what it is and how asexual people actually are. In fact, they think asexual people are a very diverse bunch and you can’t make general claims about their politicalness. Which is fair.

Anyway, they’re going to look at the politics of asexual people, and they’re doing this in an interesting way where they are committed to studying the world from the participant’s perspective. This is interesting because, generally speaking, it is impossible for a researcher to entirely remove themselves from an interpretation, because they’re human, and that’s not how humans work. It’s particularly interesting if this means they’re just going to take their participant’s word as gospel, because folks have this nasty habit of lying to researchers.

So, working through past literature now.

They got a good handle on the different parts of the spectrum though, nice, nice.

And critique essentialism, all to the good. 

Then they’re saying that the establishment of asexuality as legitimate relied vision of an asexual person is the ‘gold star’ asexual (yikes yikes yikes) cause that sectioned off some people who you could still intervene with, so the social dominance of sex in society is unchallenged. This negates the ‘radical potential’ of sexuality which is to suggest the FUCKING WILD NOTION that maybe it’s okay for anyone to not want sex. Like, maybe sex could just be a thing, and not a prerequisite of being normal or intimate???

Anyway, the idea that it could suggest this buck wild idea basically spawned a bunch of articles expecting asexuality to pretty much fix everything wrong with society. We’re questioning mainstream culture, we’re rethinking intimacy, we’re desexualising identity, we’re radical (in the political sense of the word) just by existing. Also just “fundamentally anarchist” because we reclaim agency over our body by not wanting to have sex? Dunno about that one, but I might be down for an A tattoo in ace colours.

But our three musketeers say these are a bunch of claims just pulled out of a collective ass, there’s not data whatsoever. Also, all that stuff talks about ‘asexuality’ like it’s some distinct entity (like how folks talk about capitalism but good) and not a thing that people have. So there’s no discussion of how other aspects of people have (race, gender, class, disability etc) interact with asexuality. And of course they do, people are people.

And they want to see some real resistance, alright? Some proper political action and mobalisation, not just thinking radically. Or, I guess, living in a way that resists norms? Or maybe that counts as taking a political position. I guess we’ll have to wait because now it’s time for METHODOLOGY.

So right off the bat we’re talking qualitative. Interviews and a diary. Data from a study originally looking at asexual identity formation and the construction of intimate relationships, but they figure they had enough to do a little article on the politics of it too. And like they said before, they’re looking at what it is that their participants think they’re doing. They call themselves out a bit, saying that maybe their participants might not know if they’re being political, but I’m gonna add in here that this interview was probably advertised as being about the asexual identity. Folks were asked if they had ‘been an activist in the asexual community or in relation to asexual issues’ sure, but it wasn’t advertised as political so they might not be getting the political peeps!

AND ANOTHER THING (cause we’re into recruitment now), you’re not going to get the people like me. The people who care Very Much about their identity, but are also Very Scared to talk about it with pretty much everyone who hasn’t unlocked like sixth tier trust. And they don’t mention this, even while they’re patting themselves on the back for how many diverse identities they got (never mind that the sample is nearly 74% white, 76% younger than 29, and 54% had a university qualification). People who have the most issues are unlikely to be fitting into those categories, either.

But fuck it, let’s get to the analysis.

How central did the participants consider asexuality to be in their lives? You’ll be fucking astounded to know that it varied!!! Amazing, right? But mainly what they’re looking at is whether folks saw asexuality as a key factor marginalising them. (This is about where I started crying last time, but I’m channeling that into anger to try and keep it together so buckle the fuck up).

Our brave trio admits that they did “””””of course””””” find evidence of discrimination against asexual people, and say that they really don’t want to downplay it, but hey, most of the people they talked to didn’t experience it! They just talked about hearing about it! Like, NO SHIT MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU TALKED TO 50 FUCKING PEOPLE WHO WANTED TO TALK TO YOU! YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO FIND A TREND WITH THAT?? And also let’s not downplay what it can do to a person to hear about how others like them are threatened with rape, huh? Let’s maybe think about the effect of that, huh?

Like, yes, the participants who said that it’s not as bad as the history of oppression that homosexuality has are entirely valid. But the researchers who say multiple times that they don’t want to downplay the effect of discrimination and oppression and then ignore the instances they found in favour of talking about ways it could be worse are NOT.

And then they’re saying that it’s not significant to come out, because it’s ‘a lack’ and they cite a couple of participants who say they don’t come out on a regular basis and here is where we get to crux of my problem with their methodology. Because what they’re doing is they’re taking what these participants said and they’re going, ‘oh, yup, that must be why.’ And that’s all well and good, but if some rando I barely knew asked me why I didn’t come out to all an sundry I might also say something along the lines of ‘oh, well, you know, it’s not a huge deal, it’s not something the public needs to know.’ But Reader, it is a huge deal, at least for me. I’m fucking terrified of coming out to people. People LIE. We lie all the time, we tell people what we think they want to hear, and that means that there could very well be a reason I’m reading what these people said and hearing echoes of the tired old aphobic discourse. 

Not saying that is what’s going on, just raising the possibility which they have yet to do.

Yeah, yeah, see here, heteroromantic asexual talking about how they realise their privilege and can pass as straight. Sound familiar? Maybe that is their experience. Maybe it’s what they think the interview wants to be their experience. WHO’S TO SAY?

Yeah, so they conclude that maybe asexuality isn’t very central in their participant’s lives, and we get the title quote of “asexual isn’t who I am. This is just what I am, not who I am as a person.” Which is interesting, because I was just reading another article where gay men said the same thing.

But they say this quotation shows that asexual can be a description of actions one doesn’t take rather than an aspect of a person which creates marginalisation and UM WHAT? You could just as easily say that ‘this is just what I am’ shows a deeper claiming of identity, making it a physical aspect of you which could actually lead to marginalisation. Hey, maybe the context of the quote makes it clear. Don’t know, though, BECAUSE THEY DON’T GIVE ANY.

And now we’re moving on to activism, which I don’t expect to make me as angry, but we’ll see. (Editor’s note: It did.)

Yeah, so there’s more of the drawing the line between how people would like recognition of asexuality and the activism necessary for the wider LGBT community, which, again, valid. But they say that this means that the people who say this feel less need to confront forms of discrimination, when the selfsame participant they are discussing explicitly outlined a need for better education. 

APPARENTLY there was no suggestion that the educatory action people engaged in linked to a wider question of social change which, I mean, sure, had you not already called yourself out on participants maybe not being politically  conscious I might allow. But you did, and what’s more, I bet you didn’t even fucking ask them if they saw it as social change. And since when was education not social change? How are folks supposed to know that it’s okay not to want sex if you don’t TELL THEM THROUGH THE EDUCATION SYSTEM???

And then they have the nerve the fucking audacity to say that while it is “of course” admirable, it doesn’t show a desire to challenge a social system. EDUCATION IS A SOCIAL SYSTEM, YOU ABSOLUTE WALNUTS.

Now, online activity

This is mainly about people’s attitudes to AVEN which I don’t really know anything about, but it’s people talking about how it feels to find a label and answers, which is some much needed wholesomeness. And I feel like people’s opinions on a particular organisation or website to use for community are much more valid to take at face value. Much less interpretation going on.

LGBT groups/politics. Oh dear.

“The relations between our participants and LGBT groups were complex and multifaceted” oh, I bet they were.

Again, they found more people talking about hearing others excluded rather than seeing them excluded themselves. Kinda idea that the political standpoints might be different, but they don’t really dwell on that, they just head on through to really ram home the idea that asexual people are all different and might not hold inherently queer political perspectives.

And finally, finally, the conclusion. People are different, political literature is wrong, asexuality is not a fucking cure all. Now, they outline a couple of responses to their argument that folks might take. 

One: the idea that by being asexual, people have the potential to question society. They say this takes people out of their context, and that their way of looking at human action is better.

Two: a radical politics that hopes to transcend sexual society is the best/only way for asexuality to get social acceptance, never mind what the experiences of the participants say. They don’t want to say whether this is true or not, but say that sociologists should distinguish between arguing for the things they like and arguing that those things are what a certain group should do.

And now for my own conclusion. I know I have issues. I am very ‘sensitive’ around this topic. And, just to be clear, I don’t think there’s anything intrinsically radical in being asexual, either. I think it might inspire a person to take a radical bent on life, but that’s up to an individual. 

But these folks, these silly sausages, in their eagerness to disagree with everyone fell over themselves to gleefully stab each other in the foot. They took an extremely shallow look at their data, not interrogating why people might be telling them these things at all. Additionally, they clearly didn’t want to find much evidence of social activism, and one can’t help but wonder if that is why their definition was so crushingly tight that it didn’t. 

They got to an answer I agree with, but boy howdy did they make a mess doing it.

#i'm gonna have to write a proper review on this #i sunk so much time in

[dangomilkies]

Lixue Tropes These are just the tropes I personally think apply to Lixue. They may alter canon but these are just my imagination and how I portray my OCS.

Ambiguously Human: Lixue is this, while she takes human in appearance, her circuits are absolute top tier, almost surpassing a mage; then it turns out she has Divine Patterns (magic circuits for fairies but superior), can withstand anything save for questionable morals and guilt-trip brainwash by higher magi. Dr Roman even is disappointed in her for not showing up in her medical check-up like Hinako's.

Animal Motifs: butterflies, one of her magecraft is her conjuring butterflies, one technique she uses is to cover an enemy and explode rendering them unable to move. Hiroshi describes her as a deer.

Ascended Fangirl: magical girl genres and the Four Beauties of Ancient China, heck, she was even ecstatic when she had summoned Yang Guifei.

Beware the Quiet Ones: she essentially is quiet and even aloof towards strangers and only shows her true self from people she cares about or is so close to her, if someone made her extremely angry, may heaven help them.

Black Mage: she utilizes black magical energy made from imaginary numbers. She also makes butterflies using that.

Black Magic: uses this at times, though she tends to utilize this to anyone who dare to cross her.

Blood from the Mouth: When blood pours from her mouth and nose, it is a clear indication that she uses too much of her magecraft.

Brilliant but Lazy: extremely gifted and blessed with such great mystery to the point she doesn't even have to train or study to master it (albeit useless in the modern age), however, she just lunges around being "busy" with stuff and acts like a languid cat. She is serious when she does her job though. It's also justified if she uses it way too much it can affect her well-being.

Brutal Honesty: she is not afraid to say what's inside her head, and sometimes this leads people to dislike her or get her in trouble. This actually contributes to her friendless background due to her being ingrained with reality and little to no child-like imaginations

Bullying the Dragon: she made fun of Wu Zetian's height and child form despite knowing her infamous and brutal history alongside Yang Guifei, she unfortunately learned the hard way as she was assaulted and "disciplined" by the child empress.

But not Too Foreign: Lixue's mother is from China whilst her father is English. Lixue and Jian's mother descended from shaman users (Wu) in Hong Kong.

Casting A Shadow: one of her magecraft utilizing black butterflies, black tentacle-like shadows made of magical energy to bind or even tear apart victims. She sometimes hurls this to anyone if they piss her enough.

Cast From Lifespan: her fae magecraft at its full potential requires this and gets into extreme fatigue and even bleeds from both the mouth and nose. If she conjures powerful magic, it can result to her organs malfunctioning.

Consummate Professional: Downplayed, when it comes to managing their family business, she takes it seriously compared to her other employees, she is also a fairly bit of a control freak as she made sure they

Crazy-Prepared: Overlaps with Properly Paranoid, in Lostbelt 6, she foresees (or believes) that another copy of Tristan would be summoned so she hid his Saint Graph and went along with the Tristan they met in Cornwall and they have a rather cordial and formal relationship unlike the one in Chaldea who is closer and more intimate and summoned Consort Yu as a replacement at first but the two bonded together.

Clingy Jealous Girl: she is this to Tristan. She grows even more clingy but stays silent about the issue while she is gritting her teeth from afar.

Deadly Nosebleed: overlaps with bleeding from the mouth when she pushes herself to the limit with magic.

Defrosting Ice Queen: she has an icy exterior, prefers to be alone, is not good with people unlike the social butterfly, Jian.

De-Power: the mystic code she wears forcefully limits the amount of mystery she conjures to keep her lifespan a little bit longer depending how long she wears, it also weakens it and would take time to regain unless she has to undergo training once more

Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: After the duel with Fae Knight Tristan, she calls her a straight-up crazy bitch and proceeds to flip her off.

Elective Mute: she does talk, she just chose not to or unless she is forced to begrudgingly.

Expy: To Bazett, both families swear loyalty to deities and the fairy folk and both families don't mingle with other mage families, most importantly, their magecraft is passed down automatically albeit theirs is more of a genetic lottery than just automatic genetics. She is also one to Miyu Edelfelt but more on the personality, both are stoic and aloof around strangers but is shown to be caring to people they are familiar with and is an ace when it comes to magecraft and duties of a magical girl.

The Fair Folk: her heritage based on this.

Family Business: her family owns a funeral parlor.

Fire-Forged Friends: she is this to Hiroshi, both being interns in Chaldea and they continue saving humanity up until her genuine care for him and Jian. She is also this to Consort Yu while being understandably rigid with her, she then stays by her side and even is willing to fight alongside her.

Flash Step: just like Jian. She is also capable of doing this.

Foil: to Consort Yu, both women are ambiguously human and both originated from China (Lixue's mother), Yu being a True Ancestor type while Lixue is a half-fae. Consort Yu cursed and hated humanity for being different towards her while Lixue just wanted to stop feeling emotions and has no say about humanity as some sort of coping mechanism. Consort Yu is frigid to Chaldea while Lixue just doesn't mind as long as she gets left alone. Both often spent their time alone that even the two of them teamed up in Lostbelt 6, they still couldn't make it work even if they tried, though Consort Yu slowly began to take her and Jian seriously albeit she doesn't admit it.

Half-Human Hybrid: zig-zagged. The family is blessed by the fairies, which have their children born with fae blood, making them half. Both Lixue and Jian are these. Albeit Lixue is closer to an actual fairy despite her humanoid figure.

Healing Factor: she gets healed instantly as a half-human/half-fae. The only way to do absolute harm or death to her is to sever her head or be fatally wounded with any weapon wielded by a Divine being such as Pollux from Olympus or Zeus lightning.

Hidden in Plain Sight: Her mystic code, Arcane Faux can conceal her fae bloodline from other mages. Though this can be impenetrable by higher mages or mythological beings such as fairies, Elementals, or even Demi-Gods. The main exceptions are Heroic Spirits or fairies which is why Tristan couldn't suspect her of it. Except for Holmes, Pepe, Wodime, and Consort Yu. It takes the form of a ring on her right middle finger.

Ill Girl: Despite looking fit, Lixue has the tendency to collapse or have fatigue whenever she uses her magecraft without the mystic code. The Mystic Code also suppresses side effects and sometimes leaks out causing her to have a hard time if it's removed.

Instant Expert: her being born with fae blood and having Divine Patterns (albeit weaker in the modern age) than magic circuits, however, she was recommended to downplay it by her father as it could bring her extreme exhaustion and even death.

Lady and Knight: with Sir Tristan.

Lady of Black Magic: her magecraft utilizes Hollow magecraft that rips out monsters even Saint Graphs if she pushes herself to the limit. She utilizes butterflies and shadowy tentacles to grab or bind or even stab through as well as summoning crystals erupting down the ground courtesy of Medea, all of it if she were to practice and take the magecraft seriously instead of slacking. Though, she downplays it as she finds it incredibly fatal if she goes past her limit.

Lady Swears-a-Lot: even more so in Chinese but doesn't limit to English

Long Hair is Feminine: ends past her waist coupled with a Hime cut

Meaningful Name: Lixue in Chinese meant pretty snow. And her birthday falls in December. Which is the winter season. Her hair color is also a resemblance to snow.

Mundane Wish: Da Vinci asks what's her wish for saving humanity, while Jian wanted monetary gain, Lixue just wanted to live peacefully in the mountains with waterfalls. If given a chance, with her servant.

Mystical White Hair: mysterious and lovely, it goes well with her name.

Near-Death Experience: She almost got killed against the Dioscuri against Olympus as Pollux's sword almost hit her neck, severing her head. She almost got injured by Fairy Knight Gawain in Lostbelt 6 it wasn't for Consort Yu's reflexes countering the attacks.

Not a Morning Person: she hates it and I mean hates it when someone wakes her up early in the morning or greets her obnoxiously loud and prefers sleeping over it, she tends to wake up in the afternoon.

No-Sell: her resistance to magic is high, considering her mixed blood. The only time she is vulnerable is Aphrodite's mind guilt-tripping song or brainwashing skills done by more powerful beings.

Obliviously Beautiful: Hiroshi noted how beautiful she is, yet she seems unaware of this and often goes out in a total mess.

Our Mages Are Different: played with, for those with divine patterns are subjected to the lifestyle of a mage, but Lixue couldn't or refuse to comprehend about it and hence doesn't follow the lifestyle as much.

Pretty Butterflies: her magecraft is one of these, has many uses, for stalling an enemy, teleportation, or ambush.

Slapstick Knows No Gender: Played for Laughs, she often gets this treatment, she often gets her face stepped on by Fou, gets screamed at, or whacked in the head by Consort Yu, get thrown by a sandal by her mother, or have water or even paints douse on her whenever it gets the chance, nothing is safe for her apparently

Sleepyhead: she often sleeps a lot considering she is a night owl and stays up even before coming to Chaldea.

Smoking Is Cool: she sometimes have a cigarette on her mouth and often stays in the cigarette room in Chaldea when she takes a break. She started smoking when she graduated from high school.

Stringy-Haired Ghost Girl: except she isn't a ghost, but her hair is often this way when she is mourning or is in a sour state.

Squishy Wizard: She may be powerful but a single attack from a divine being or higher mage can fatally injure or kill her outright. Iron can injure her.

Sugar-and-Ice Personality: she is this at first, she is quite aloof and distant to anyone even snarky to strangers but is overall goofy, shows her kinder and complex side to people she actually cares about.

Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: In Lostbelt 6, Avalon Le Fae; Lixue summoned Consort Yu in place of Tristan since another Tristan has been automatically summoned and she is simply hiding his Saint Graph to stop the confusion and to keep him safe. Because of this, the two women tried to work things out but failed much to Da Vinci's dismay, they slowly made it through after confronting Fairy Knight Gawain and Lixue finding comfort in Consort Yu after leaving Tristan.

Teleportation: She uses a command spell to teleport a servant and her magecraft is also this albeit she disintegrates in small butterflies

Tough Love: Her father is extremely strict and demanding especially to her not because he wanted her daughter to suffer but because he wanted her to be equipped with things just in case something happened to them. However his toughness borders on Abusive Parent slide and Lixue tends to be sore about it.

Your Days Are Numbered: Using her magecraft without any restraint can cut her lifespan significantly. So if she kept using it at its full potential often, there is a high chance, she couldn't live past 18, the reason why she lives now is because of the mystic code she wears, yet there are signs such as collapsing, fatigue and internal bleeding are frequent.

[aldmerii-blog]

ALL THE NUMBERS for oran

ORAN!! MY BELOVED,,,,,thank u..,

1. Their physical weak spots

she’s not hugely strong. like, she’s kind of willowy? she’s very very dexterous so she’s a very very good fighter but pub brawls? not her thing. she can’t really take a lot of hits because she’s very good at not getting hit. 

2. Their emotional/moral weak spots

she very much believes in people who are capable of taking care of themselves...fucking doing that. like she’d probably be that dick who tells a homeless person to get a job (okay, she might not say it, but she’d think it). except children and old folks. people who aren’t capable of taking care of themselves. grandmas who did everything right but war took their children and grandchildren and now there’s no one left to take care of her. children whose deadbeat parents left them to starve. she’s a hardass but not always. 

3. Scars or painful spots

lossa scars. she covers them up with tattoos, except the ones on her face (they make her look more intimidating, you know?)

4. Best places to kiss on their body

oran usually uh. does the kissing. but i think she’d be a neck kisses kinda lady. 

5. Guilty pleasures

music!!! she loves how moving it is, how it forges such oddly strong bonds between folks. 

6. Their vices (physical or emotional)

she drinks, like, a lot. public intoxication is so frowned upon in alinor that it’s a big social faux pas to have more than, like, two glasses of wine outside your home. most places won’t even serve you more than two. so the first time she was in skyrim and saw some big ol nord woman get shitfaced she was like “i gotta get in on that” and she still frequently gets in on that. 

also she gets jealous/possessive easily. 

7. Their tickle spots

not ticklish, don’t try it if you value your fingers. 

8. Bad memories/experiences

as a dominion soldier, she saw a lot of people die, a lot of villages razed, heard a lot of screams choked with blood. she ordered a lot of them. she’s got enough bad memories to fill a book. 

9. Humiliating memories

do you know how much privacy there is on a ship. not a fucking lot. especially not when you’re just a sailor who sleeps in the bunks with dozens of other sailors. there’s nowhere to take pretty girls that you won’t be walked in on. 

10. Fears/phobias

she really shrinks from fire magic. ice and lightning don’t spread; fire does. it’s uncontrollable. 

11. Bad or petty habits

like, beyond the drinking and gambling? she talks too loud sometimes and can get vicious, both in action and word. 

12. Grudges and vendettas

some fucking merchant in wayrest. she doesn’t even know if he’s still alive (how long do humans live again?) and she’ll almost certainly never see him again. but he stole from her and her brother when they literally had barely enough to feed themselves and she’d probably kill him in an instant if she could. 

13. What gets them flustered

it’s really sort of random. she’s usually unflappable, but some days she’s not and gets overwhelmed really easily. 

14. Ingrained habits/forces of habit

she’s not exactly zealous about mannish inferiority but sometimes those thoughts creep back in. like especially when she’s antagonized by a human. she’s working on it. it takes a while to unlearn that shit.

15. What it takes to make them cry

oran can’t remember the last time she cried. it’s just not something she does. when she gets overwhelmed she gets angry. she might if someone she really loved died, but that’s it. 

16. Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

she really tries to downplay her dominion ties. like she knows that everyone she meets has probably lost a relative to the great war, to an order she or someone she knows gave. 

17. Regrets

sometimes she regrets deserting. because right now she lives her whole life in hedonism, constantly looking over her shoulder because if the thalmor caught her they would execute her. and sometimes squashing the guilt and questions and following blindly is a lot easier, especially when you’re on what looks to be the winning side. 

18. Things they’ll never admit

nord mead tastes better than summerset wine.

19. People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them

oh hohoh yeah. i’ve already touched on this a bit. especially as she comes to see humans as... intelligent beings with the same emotions and mental capacity as her? as she thinks of all the innocents she’s indirectly slaughtered? she feels guilty. she’s not interested in atoning because she knows she can’t, so she just. pushes it down. 

20. What-ifs/Alternate Timelines

she could be the commander of the entire thalmor navy at this point if she’d stayed. she could have so much. 

21. Turning points in their life

she and her brother were on leave together in skywatch and they were having dinner and one of the servers dropped a platter and soren just. burst into tears. like the noise was just too much for him. and she pulled him out (that kind of a public display of emotion is so shameful) and they sat up in the city’s gardens (abandoned so late at night) and he told her about how he always feels like he can’t breathe and how he always feels like his hands are dripping blood and how he has nightmares every night and how he just wants to go so they. left. that night they just stole a small ship and left. 

22. People who’ve influenced them greatly

her father, who was also her commanding officer. she really kind of grew up on deck, taking order from him even before she was a sailor. 

#the more i write about oran the gayer i get for her #carly's ocs #oc: oran #carly tells tales #henantier

[pelikinesis]

it could be mostly because of the 2020, but i don’t handle it particularly well when someone has to cancel D&D, which happens more often than i’d like. to clarify, i mean i feel bad in various ways, but i don’t lash out or anything.

i know that part of it is because it’s one of only a few outlets for socialization i have, and because the world is uncertain enough as it is. but i’m beginning to think there’s a bit more to it than that.

storytelling is kind of a big deal for me. understanding and creating narratives is probably the only skill i’ve been really focusing on for the past handful of years, and the more i think about it the more that makes sense. the narrative i had of myself was ripped to shreds awhile back, and ever since then i’ve been somewhere in between clinging to familiar narratives as if i could absorb their integrity of continuity, and trying to write one myself as if that accomplishment would give me the missing piece needed to work on my own life story.

the collaborative nature of D&D comes with its share of challenges, but whether as GM or player, there’s something relaxing in the fact that in session, i don’t have to create that narrative all by myself. i only need to contribute, by setting up the board or playing my part. and a narrative happens. a story happens, even if i’m not doing everything. and it happens the way it does precisely *because* i’m not doing everything.

maybe i’m upgrading my understanding of isolation and loneliness, what they are and how they affect people, particularly me. yet another chunk of the “(re)learning how to process emotions and recovering from numbness” thing. it’s amazing how many feelings are out there, which at some point early on i deemed i didn’t have the luxury of accepting. bewildering or overwhelming might be a more true adjective.

i kept something like a journal in the first year after julien died, and i’ve read through it here and there recently, in addition to finding the first and only letter i ever wrote my dad, shortly after he went to jail for trying to kill my mom. the letter reads like something a lawyer wrote. completely dispassionate and rational. the motivation was to demonstrate to his family that he was the one out of control, not us. a defense against dismissal and invalidation.

but even i’m surprised at how cold the whole thing is. i was so angry at what had happened i had to cut myself off from emotions or else i’d have done something completely crazy. and clearly i wasn’t fully aware i was doing it, and won’t be so long as i continue to downplay and minimize how hard it is to recover from that.

in regards to the journal, i was surprised to remember at some point i’d started breaking down the meaning of Japanese haiku, and Czech idioms, because i’m not particularly good at learning languages. at the time, i just thought i missed learning and wanted to occupy my mind with something, and didn’t bother thinking about why that in particular. it was as good a pastime as any, and that was the extent of my concern.

in hindsight, i was struggling with an absolute collapse of meaning. i understood human interaction and social realities through the lens of English, and neither of those things made sense to me anymore. so it makes a sort of sense i’d jump into the deep end of linguistic unfamiliarity. out there, it was impossible to take anything for granted. i had no choice, no risk of cutting corners on interpreting the meaning of every single word being said.

In English, i had the luxury of negligence, of carelessness. these were great sins of mine. that’s how i felt about it. but it was slow work. slow was reassuring, because i wouldn’t crash into anything, or anyone, or miss a turn i needed to make. 

but so long as i associate slowness with safety, and speed with danger, i will struggle with the motivation to believe and act in a way that allows me to keep up with the pace of modern life. i think some people resolve this conundrum by adopting a simple living kind of lifestyle, and i definitely see the appeal in that sense. 

but i’m pretty invested in the more normal speed of things, regardless of my current ability to keep pace with it. another way of looking at it, is that there’s a force opposing my natural desire to speed up. i’m not the most patient guy. when i’m snowboarding, i like going pretty fast. there are plenty of avenues in which i enjoy acceleration and velocity. i don’t lack the desire to accelerate my life. it’s just that trauma is a blockade. a series of spike strips. i’m so busy trying to figure out what’s wrong with my engine, i didn’t notice my tires were shredded. 

one of my textbooks mentioned that in folk/pop psychology, “trauma” is a term used in such a way that conflates (A) the event which results in the traumatic experience, with (B) the negative lasting effects on a person as a result of exposure to that event. And it seems i’m making that same conflation now.

Is trauma the blockade and the spike strips? or is trauma the shredded tires of the car? Technically, it’s the latter. the former is the event. a monster truck would crash through that event, and it’s jumbo-sized tires would probably be unaffected by spike strips. an event produces trauma, but trauma is not distributed evenly among individuals. 

bolts of lightning are never straight lines, or regular shapes. lighting is branched, and jagged, and crooked. electrons burrowing through the past of least resistance across the gaseous molecules of a furious sky.

i say “path of least resistance,” but “conductivity” is another way to describe this property, particularly in the context of metals. There is a vast connotational gulf between the two, and yet both are true.

i forgot i was talking about D&D originally. i doubt this was the original intent, but there’s something i’ve always found fascinating about listening to horror stories about awkward and bewildering and fucked up games of D&D, whether due to bizarre player or GM behavior. certain themes emerge though, when you read through enough of them. they all involve forms of acting out, of people reacting to emotional flashbacks and demonstrating the effects of poor differentiation.

and it makes sense that wacky countertransferential-type dynamics could emerge, since D&D creates an intersubjective container not dissimilar to the holding space of a therapeutic alliance, freeing people up from the constraints of normal social reality. but GMs aren’t therapists. i mean in a year or so, i might be both, but the point is that there’s no signing and briefing on informed consent forms, and no process of licensure for GMs, and of course group therapy differs from individual or couples therapy in a number of ways.

the point is, i’m not surprised that RPG horror stories exist, any more than i’m surprised that there will always be stories about terrible dates. expectations are rarely openly shared. everyone comes in with a set of assumptions and often do very little to share, compare and contrast. talking these things through is a skill, one which i don’t know the word for, and one which isn’t taught in school.

i consider this rambling, what i’m doing right now. i don’t do it all that often, but it’s good to have another recorded example. i have conversations with people who are more prone to it than me, and at times i found myself wondering about their internal processes and motivations, what needs are met in doing so.

part of it’s because more often than not, i only share or speak up if i have a particular point to make. it’s a lingering influence from my background in Communication. but there’s something a bit mechanical. in contrast, this whole bit of writing feels extremely organic, by my standards anyways. 

rambling came to mind because when it comes to the people who tend to ramble, i often find myself questioning to what extent they need someone to serve as a wall to bounce their thoughts and feelings off of. whether or not someone like that confuses this for true, two-way interaction.

naturally, that’s not actually an issue here, considering i’m just shouting into the void. but there is a sense of freedom and fluidity in engaging in this form of mental meandering. a soothing, relaxing quality even in the process of engaging with potentially distressing subject matter. i think i can see why they do it. of course, in a true interaction, there’s the potential that the distressing effects of the content is transmitted to the listener.

a repeated theme in some of my class readings this quarter is the idea that many of us are missing a permission, a sense of safety to feel certain ways, express things, to accept and share openly. and there’s a common tendency to try to replace this with something stringent, to impose a rigid structure or procedure as if this externalized integrity can function as substitution for something meant to freely flow. it’s a tendency that has us focusing on execution, and results, instead of on actual human connection.

and it’s probably one of the most prosaic and insidious forms of dehumanization out there in the world today. this part, too, feels similar to the rambling people i talk to sometimes. this arrival at some grandiose conclusion, this habitual seeking to state some truth about the world not directly attached to my own concerns--or presented as such.

at these points in those conversations where i am the listener, i feel the most like a sounding board. because those moments of conclusion tend to feature ideas that i find to be personally copasetic, but not particularly profound in relation to the amount of time and words it takes for the other person to arrive at: Misogyny sucks. Masculinity is toxic. A person i described as inconsiderate is inconsiderate. the movie industry sucks at casting Asians. it’s bad that people in my life made me feel bad for having feelings and opinions.

i get the feeling i’m meant to respond like some sort of cheerleader. give them the ‘you go girl’ treatment. and i suppose biggest reason i don’t feel like doing that, is because these are people who have many conflictual relationships. both have diagnoses for borderline personality disorder, but the main reservation from my point of view is that i find myself skeptical that they are working on their shortcomings, because of how often they act out or violate personal boundaries or demonstrate a lack of self-awareness or otherwise don’t seem to recognize or acknowledge the consequences of their actions. direct and indirect past experiences have left me feeling as though i can’t take it for granted that they’ve learned from past mistakes.

but then i wonder about my own shortcomings. how i rarely feel like i’m overcoming the worst parts of myself. my own capacity and willingness to change for the better is still in question. and here’s the part where i sympathize with those people the most: my natural instinct is to heap blame and guilt on myself with the implicit expectation that this will motivate change. 

but the cumulative toll of that tendency is not only counterproductive, but devastating. you can’t actually build yourself up much if you’re constantly demolishing your own foundations. but as far as internalized oppressive-abusive tendencies go, that one’s a real pain to excise once it gets under your skin.

if there’s one thing i can say on my own behalf here, aside from the fact that i’m blogging this instead of talking about it with someone, is that as i write this, i don’t feel frantic, or despondent, or otherwise overwhelmingly negative. part of it is because i’m pretty darned high, but i feel like if i’ve been emotionally activated at certain points in writing this, it hasn’t been to an overwhelming extreme. ii’ve been feeling mostly chill throughout this increasingly long bit of journaling. 

i know it’s questionable to frame things in terms of “at least i’m not talking about this with someone directly”, but i think part of that has to do with the fact that if i tried talking to someone about this, my capacity to really think through and feel though all this would be constrained by the constant consideration of keeping up some sort of appearance, or being overly concerned with the other person’s experience of the conversation. 

it’s one of those balance things. one of those instances of being so caught up in the imperative of being considerate to the other person, that the imperative gets in the way of actually being considerate to that person. 

if i tried to read all this back just now, i imagine i’d have two distinct conclusions: (1) wow, that’s a lot to think about, and (2) why is this taking me so long to process, an is this actually productive or am i just faffing about? And then a part of me wants to go on a tangent where i think about whether or not i’ve ever used the term “faffing about” out loud, and where i got it from. 

one thing i’ve done before in poetry, if not in blogging, is learned to write within a certain freedom of restriction, something learned by figuring out how to clear away all expectations concerning form and slant rhyme or slam judge scores, and freely do what i set out to do. it’s quite liberating, but an experience i’ve seldom experienced outside of poetry. to write and perform without undue concerns about winning the slam, or getting published, because of the reaction and feedback received from the audience in front of me.

and i suppose if there’s another avenue i have for that rare thing, it’s when i’m playing tabletop RPGs with friends. on the one hand, i’m absolutely invested in meeting a standard of excellence. it’s just that the standard of excellence exists on my terms, and is shaped in a manner not affected by intrusive imperatives from invalid sources, but rather by what i truly hope is a more authentic connection with my friends. 

anyways so that’s why playing D&D is fun, and why suddenly not getting to play D&D sucks.

[cksmart-world]

The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

May 5, 2020

IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD

Oh boy, are things crazy. It's the 50th anniversary of the Kent State massacre where National Guardsmen shot and killed four student protesters and wounded nine others on the Ohio campus. At that time American deaths in Vietnam were approaching 50,000 and the war was tearing the country apart. Eventually 58,220 Americans would die in Southeast Asia. Fast forward — now deaths from the coronavirus pandemic in this country eclipse 70,000 and it seems like to many it doesn't really matter all that much. (We won't mention Afghanistan and Iraq because no one cares.) Some have downplayed the pandemic, comparing it to automobile and gun deaths, which, by the way, are not communicable. And Fox news pundits keep repeating that more than 60,000 died from the flu last year. Nonetheless, coronavirus is 10 to 20 times as deadly and spreads much faster. These days, protesters aren't college students but middle-aged people carrying “Liberty or Death” placards and firearms. Imagine being transported from 1970 to 2020 and showing up in Lansing, Michigan in bell bottoms and tie-dye with peace symbols and coming across old fat guys wearing camouflage and brandishing AR-15s. Talk about a bad acid trip.

MITCH THE MENACE

That great American Mitch McConnell, the Cardinal de Richelieu of Washington, is a master at blowing smoke up Donald Trump's pant leg while doing the bidding of corporate fat cats. All this while many working-class Americans are waiting in long lines at the food bank. Well, let them eat cake. When it comes to looking out for the little guy and his fellow Kentuckians, there's no one quite like Misery Mitch, who lords his power over the country like a corporate thug. Most recently, he's been pushing legislation that would release companies from liability during the coronavirus pandemic, all while President Trump has ordered meat packing plants to remain open. As such, those companies and others who force their workers into unsafe conditions could not be sued by employees or the families of workers who die from Covid 19. But that's just where the fun begins. Maniacal Mitch made sure corporations got more than their share of the so-called stimulus dough, while anxious workers waited on tenter hooks for 1200 bucks that would easily get them through the crisis. But why should working men and women complain after they swept up crumbs from Trump's $1.5 trillion tax cut, while the big boys hauled away 80 percent of the largesse. It's a tried and true strategy from Money Man Mitch because Wall Street repays him with tens of millions that keep him in Washington's driver's seat — he's holds the whole country hostage but only Kentuckians can vote him out. It is a democratic republic, after all.

(You can make a donation to his Democratic opponent, Amy McGrath, retired U.S. Marine Corps Lt. Colonel, at amymcgrath.com.)

DEMOCRATIC LAMBS TO SLAUGHTER

Every four years, the endangered species known as Utah Democrats select one of their own to sacrifice to the angry gods of politics in the “election” for governor. In 2016, Gov. Gary Herbert, the Republican, defeated Democrat Mike Weinholtz by 38 percentage points — slaughter would be an understatement. One reason: there is no Utah Democratic Party. Not really. Here at Smart Bomb, the staff attempted to find the Utah Democratic Party but could only locate a phone number and a recorded message: “We'll get back to you one day, maybe.” Up into the 1970s, Utah had Democratic governors and senators, but the Republican culture wars successfully branded Dems as baby killing faggot lovers who would steal your guns and tax you to death. Mormon faithful bought it hook, line and sinker. The Democrats just kind of rolled over, while the Republicans robbed working-class folks blind in favor of their rich supporters. There are, of course, pockets of Democrats in Salt Lake, Summit, Grand and maybe a few other counties. But until Democrats go on a statewide grassroots offensive, Utahns will have to endure patriarchal self-righteous leaders who continue to embrace the debunked theory of trickle-down economics. As one cold-hearted observer said: In a democracy we deserve the government we elect.

WHO NEEDS SCIENCE? SHINE A LIGHT

As some have noted, science is not President Trump's strong suit. But he isn't alone. There is an entire segment of America that doesn't believe in science. Galileo who? Climate change is hoax, don't you know, perpetrated by tree-huggers and Democrats along with French people who eat snails. It's nothing new, of course. In 1925,  high school teacher John Scopes was put on trial for violating a Tennessee law that made it illegal to teach human evolution. The notion that humans and apes had a common ancestor was an affront to God — or at least some Tennessee Christian churchgoers. And if evolution is true, why isn't every other baby born a chimpanzee? Fuckin' Darwin. Didn't he hear about Noah's Ark? The earth is 4.6 billion years old? Kiss my ass. The fact that we have put someone on the moon, changes nothing. Cure for cancer — nothing. The technology that allows us to listen to Rush Limbaugh and watch Sean Hannity couldn't possibly be based on science. So when Donny No-Dange suggested curing Covid 19 patients by shining a light up their ass, it was kinda funny, but not really a surprise. The United States has more confirmed coronavirus deaths than any other country — twice as many, per capita, as Canada — because Trump ignored scientists early on, failed to test and failed to stockpile enough medical equipment. He now is eager to reopen the economy while case counts are still surging. Say a prayer.

Post script — Well chillens, another week of The Twilight Zone is in the rearview mirror and the beautiful May weather beckons. Pandemic or not, folks who live near the beach are simply saying, fuckit, let's go surfing. And who can blame them really. How can coronavirus get you as long as you make sure to use plenty of Coppertone. Meanwhile thirsty landlubbers want to hit the bar and what are the chances that you could die, anyway — except if you drink too many Jagermeister shooters. Now, that shit is dangerous. And as Billy Graham Jr. says, you're gonna die someday, anyway. He's a gem, ain't he. Hopefully, there's no heaven, because his father would be looking down and shitting his pants. So, anyway, you can play it safe and stay home and go batshit (unless you've got the right drugs) or you can go out and live life and bring coronavirus back to your friends and loved ones, who may or may not die. Sure, you'd be taking chances with their lives, but this is America where we apply cost/benefit analysis to everything. For example, before this whole pandemic thing, how many weighed the probability of going on a cruise and dying of food poisoning or boredom. See how it works. And how many have thought twice about going to the company summer party? Talk about scary. Times do change, although you'd have a hard time convincing our youth of that. Fifty years ago, the scariest thing that could happen was you'd get your ass drafted and end up in Vietnam where you'd probably get it shot off. If you were a young woman, your boyfriend or husband could end up in Southeast Asia dead for absolutely nothing. Like it or not, we are a warrior nation. Last week as nurses and doctors were dying on the front lines of  the coronavirus pandemic, our jet fighters — the best killing machines ever invented — were flying overhead to thank caregivers and buoy the spirits of Americans who apparently don't mind spending $67 million on a single aircraft while many can't afford healthcare. Funny place, this United States of America.

Alright Wilson, tell the band to put down their beers and take us out with a little something for the occasion:

Tin soldiers and Nixon coming, We're finally on our own. This summer I hear the drumming, Four dead in Ohio. Gotta get down to it Soldiers are cutting us down Should have been done long ago. What if you knew her And found her dead on the ground How can you run when you know?

(Ohio, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young)

PPS — During this difficult time for newspapers please make a donation to our very important local alternative news source Salt Lake City Weekly at PressBackers.com, a nonprofit dedicated to help fund local journalism. Thank you.

[mitjo-deactivated]

Dean is an Abuser - Analysis

(tw: abuse, parental abuse, father abuse)

Note: Before anyone is like “Jenna u hav no idea wht ur talking abt” I am victim of parental, in this case fatherly, abuse. I just don’t want people to think I don’t know what I’m talking about and think I’m flinging the word “abuse” all around willy nilly. So LETS GO

I love! Long Exposure! So much! Mars is AMAZING at storytelling, pacing, and her characters are so easy to love? I love them? She’s amazing, please go tell her that!!

And now while all of us Love Mitch, Jonas, Sid, etc there is the Other spectrum with characters like Dean and Neil that we’re SUPPOSED to hate! And Mars is doing a spectacular job showing how the audience is Not supposed to side with them.

But, from an outsider perspective that doesn’t know subtle signs of abuse, I can understand why it doesn’t click right away that Dean is supposed to be an abuser. While there are those who dislike him, I sense some hesitancy calling Dean a downright abuser, and well STRAP IN because he is.

ALSO DIDN’T PROOF READ IT CAUSE I’M LAZY

Warning for some spoilers too if you haven’t caught up to the comic.

I’m aware that people may have “expectations” when hearing the word abuse. Furthermore, parental abuse, and usually, it’s associated with Physical Abuse. Which yes! It is a type of abuse that some children, unfortunately, go through. But there is more than just one type of abuse which branches off into Dean’s abuse, which is emotional, psychological, and verbal.

I’m gonna state this right now- Abuse isn’t a competition. Just because there are “much more worse cases” of abuse, that doesn’t mean anything. No victim should be seen as less just because someone else “had it worse.” The fact that abuse happens at all is terrible and it shouldn’t turn into a game of “but my experience was worse than this.”

So with that in mind, let’s talk about Dean, his need to be in control, and his verbal/emotional/psychological abuse. Lets go to when we first are introduced to him

Our first real appearance of Dean takes place in the morning, after. Dean repeatedly calls for Jonas but gets no answer in return, in that way, Jonas is not complying and answering to Dean.

He is not being compliant and then we get this scene. Dean shoves Jonas to get his attention, then continuously berates him. I think it’s a scene a lot of us forget about because it’s one of the first few pages.

“Did you hear me calling you? Or were you just too lazy to answer?” - the significance of this line shows a lot of Dean’s personality already. He wants to be answered to, he doesn’t like when people aren’t obedient around him. He doesn’t outright say Jonas is lazy but he plants the idea in his head that he is. He’s angry that Jonas didn’t answer him, which means Dean lost control for a moment but he regains it by verbally berating Jonas. Basically stating “you listen to me.” WHICH, IS NOT GOOD PARENTING.

“After all I’ve done for you and your sister? You think it’s easy?” - ohh man here comes to guilt trip. Dean is being manipulative with this line. He’s playing the “I’ve done so much for you and this is how you treat me?” card. He is making Jonas feel guilty, talking down at him, silently calling him ungrateful while also putting himself on a higher pedestal. It’s not rash to translate his words to “I’ve done everything for you and your sister and you’re being a selfish ungrateful brat. It’s so hard doing this but I do it anyways so you give me respect.” Manipulative, guilt tripping, and berating, all signs of abuse.

“Answer me when I’m talking to you.” - while outside perspectives may not see this as a threat, people that have a grasp of abuse signs do see it as one. It’s a demand, and it has an underlying tone of being threatening.

There’s also the body language and artistic choice of clearly making Dean seem taller, bigger, a powerful presence that disturbs the atmosphere, while Jonas is weak, doesn’t look Dean in the eye, overall submissive and it’s a very unhealthy dynamic between father and son.

So our first page with Dean we already know; he’s a dick. Lets look further.

At the end of Chapter 1, Jonas receives a text message from Dean which makes him leave hastily.

Why is this so important?

Maybe I’m reading too much into it but this really resonated with me. The artistic choice of the panels spoke louder than words.

The beginning panel displays a message that Jonas is getting, but it’s very close up, it shows significance. Something abrupt, a disturbance.

Then the second panel, honestly, it could have done without it but the fact that it’s there is another big shot in the chest. We get Jonas’s expression, worried when before he was angry, so the shift in mood is prevalent and important. But it also arises a question, what made Jonas go from angry to instantly worried, and upset.

The third panel displays the message. “home. NOW.” And as someone with an abusive parent, those messages are Terrifying. It is a demand, no other questions asking of your well being or where you are, it is a demand to make you come home. It inflicts fear on the victim, telling them to immediately get out of there before it gets worse.

And the obliviousness of Mitch is particular painful because usually, outsiders don’t know what kind of fear your abusive parent has flooded you with in less than three words. But it’s equally gorgeous storytelling, and very beautiful showing how Dean is clearly in control and superior to Jonas.

While brief, I still like this panel a lot because it shows another element to Dean. Sure, sometimes kids go out and are in places where they shouldn’t be without their parents knowledge.

And yes, this does allow room for some kind of punishment I don’t like how unsettling this is. Jonas was off with Mitch, yes, they were breaking into a research facility HOWEVER, no one else knew that. It was supposed to be a “gathering information for a science project” kinda deal.

He wasn’t at some wild party, or doing stupid shit (besides trespassing and hopping a fence but no one knew that) But still, if you don’t tell Dean where you are, even if it’s to do a project, he’ll inflict fear and most likely punish you for not doing so.

AKA a huge dick.

So we already have signs of him verbally abusing Jonas by manipulating him, subtly calling him lazy, and giving him commands like “answer me if i’m talking to you” and “home. NOW.”

But lets be real.

We really wanna get into Chapter 3, where the abuse is so clear it’s painful. And I’m not talking about the dinner just yet.

RING THE ALARMS!!!

This!! IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!! Jonas is actually talking about Dean in a negative light, he acknowledges that he isn’t the best dad but I love how he talks about him. He downplays Dean’s actions.

He starts off strong, “I know what it’s like to have a crappy dad” but quickly redacts it with uncertainty. He’s not taking back the statement but he’s also unsure about this opinion, undecided that Dean is a crappy dad, or if he’s normal and just so happens to be “pretty harsh.”

And this line, “He adopted me when nobody else wanted me though, so maybe I owe him.” THAT FOLKS, IS THE CAUSE OF DEAN’S MANIPULATION, PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, AND GOAL AT IT’S FINEST.

We’ve seen from the beginning pages how Dean plays the “I’ve done so much for you” card and makes Jonas out to be the bad guy. Dean always compliments HIMSELF,  making him out to be such a great person who was there to father Jonas, and Jonas is the one being ungrateful. He’s psychologically conditioning Jonas to think Dean is superior and he is inferior and should respect him. 

Jonas believes he Owes Dean and WOOP, THAT’S NOT HOW PARENTING WORKS!! The child never owes the parent for BEING a parent, but Dean has conditioned him to believe that he should!

Moving on,

YYYYIIKKEESSS

What I adore here the most is how BRILLIANT mars executed Mitch meeting Dean for the very first time!!

The atmosphere changes DRASTICALLY. The page before was a bit more lighthearted, lighter shades of grey, and a background, but upon Dean entering, everything changes.

The children that were all mulling about having fun stop and look at Dean. Jonas and Mitch doing the same. They’re all turning to the one who is Superior. Dean is showing dominance, he is the control freak that changes the mood wherever he goes because he demands it.

And in the second panel it displays that even MORE with the dark colors, lack of background, and the intense gaze Dean shows. He is big, unapproachable, and clearly evil. Maybe a stretch but still, it’s an amazing introduction to a bad guy.

This part breaks my heart a lot because Dean doesn’t have to say Anything to make Jonas start talking.

Victims of abuse tend to try to explain themselves, A Lot. They try to explain their actions, why somethings the way it is, who they’re with, they ramble off immediately with their abuser not even having to say a word, instead just give them a look that has them panicked.

Jonas is starting to panic, he’s fearful of Dean, he doesn’t want to upset him and he wants to make sure if He’s okay with it.

What Dean is saying doesn’t sound... Threatening if you got it out of context.

It could be a genuine question from a curious parent but the way Dean is saying it, showing it, and expresses it, is very negative. But still, it’s a very causal question that Jonas feels the need to ramble about it Again.

Victims of abuse feel the need to explain themselves always, I can’t stress this enough.

It’s never “Oh yeah, we’re doing a project on the flood.” or “Yup, we were assigned as partners, that’s how the teacher does it.” Jonas has to go into detail, explaining what the project is, where he was, and why he was there, it can’t ever be a simple answer because Dean won’t condone that;.

Not to mention how jittery Jonas’s speech is, stuttering and the “uh” and ellipsis. He’s clearly nervous around Dean, especially with company.

This situation gradually gets worse with...

RED ALARMS RED ALARMS RED ALARMS

- Parental figure subtly insulting your weight

- Parental figure making a jab at your weight by insulting your eating habits

- Parental figure insinuating that because of you, you’re grossing people out due to your eating habits

- Parental figure being extremely subtle in wanting to control your eating habits by insulting and berating you in front of others, using said others as an excuse to humiliate you

People of all ages, this is emotional and subtle verbal abuse.

Not only that, but Jonas feels the need to Apologize for his behavior that didn’t need an apology! He’s so quick to believe Dean, thinking that what he’s saying is right and what he’s doing is wrong! It’s conditioning caused by psychological abuse!!!

You start to believe someone when they say it repeatedly to you because it becomes ingrained!!!

- HOMOPHOBIC!!!!!!!!!!! SHAMING JONAS!!!!! SHAMING BOTH JONAS AND MITCH AT THE IDEA THEY MIGHT BE MISTAKEN AS A COUPLE!!!!!!!!!!

I love how this is ALSO disguised as a “I know better than you” shtick because it’s something abusive parents use all the time.

“I just want you to be safe! People are gonna think something’s up!” Making Jonas believe that Dean wants what’s best for him but that’s not the case. He’s being abusive, taking control, and trying to make Jonas who he wants to be.

Dean says it himself, hiding his insults, demands, and being a TOTAL DICK behind this idea of “looking out for Jonas”

Again, he’s trying to make it seem like his word is superior, it should be followed, respected. He makes himself out to be Good which is some of the most Scariest abusers out there.

They seem so... Nice. So normal, and regular, they seem like true genuine parents that are looking out for their kids. You don’t notice his need for control and wanting to make others inferior because he hides it behind this message of being a good father.

Thankfully, Mitch doesn’t buy into it cause he’s seen this all before with his own abusive stepdad!!

When Mitch calls Dean out he has just disrupted the equilibrium of an abuser.

Dean who everyone’s looked up, respected out of fear of judgement, followed his every word, and was silent when he was talking has just been talked back to and he doesn’t know how to handle it.

Everyone looks at Mitch in shock because NO ONE has ever had the guts to talk back to Dean, the one who is in power. He is in control, and it’s painfully obvious so Mitch disrupting this balance is unsettling.

.... WHEW

Lets start with... The victims of Dean’s abusive behavior.

Jonas and Sue.

Jonas immediately tries to change subjects then goes so far as the grab Mitch and take him to his room. Sue tries to calm down Dean by calling him “dear.” Why? In this case, Mitch... Even though said very harshly, is in the right.

But the Victims are terrified of the abuser when he gets angry. They try to diffuse the situation because they don’t want outsiders getting to see the man that is Dean.

Either believing they “won’t understand’ are so conditioned and psychologically abused to believe they must not let anyone see their abuser being abusive, making apologies and excuses for them and trying to leave the scene.

I’VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR 5 YEARS OKAY!!!

After Dean walks in on Mitch and Jonas, Dean doesn’t say Anything. He looks at them with a shocked face and then slams the door shut.

Let’s think of this scene in a different light. A parent walks in on their kid and their “friend” in a compromising position. In a fit of embarrassment for all parties, the parent slams the door shut because OH MY GOSH I JUST DID THAT!!!

Well, that doesn’t fit the bill for this because Jonas reacts with Fear.

Jonas very quickly is thrown in a panic. Dean didn’t even have to say ANYTHING but Jonas knows hes in trouble and he’s gonna suffer the consequences. He wants Mitch to leave as soon as possible not because he’s angry with Mitch but because he’s Scared of what Dean might do to him.

This may seem weird but often times.... Victims of abuse don’t really... Want outside help in the heat of a moment.

They don’t want to make anyone experience the wrath of their abusive parent. It’s a need to protect others for not witnessing what the victim goes through every day and a lot of the times, a victim feels Embarrassed by their parents actions and want to hide them away, deal with it themselves. He makes Mitch leave because of this.

.... HITS HOME.

This page, hurts a whole Lot.

The silence, tension, fear of having to approach your abuser and explain yourself. Dean only has to stand there and looking menacing and it’s enough to make Jonas panic.

Again, Dean doesn’t have to start a conversation, Jonas does, trying to desperately explain himself. He is being submissive, inferior, and weak to his abuser and it’s crushing.

NEED I SAY ANY WORDS???

DEAN IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL, EMOTIONAL, AND VERBALLY ABUSIVE ASSHAT!!!!!!!!! DO NOT CONDONE HIS ACTIONS OR BELIEVE HE IS IN THE RIGHT!!!!

DEAN WAGNER IS AN ABUSER

#dean wagner #abuse #fatherly abuse #why did i do this #i just hate dean #hes AN ABUSER!!!!!! #GHGGH #THIS IS SO LONG IJM SO SORRY