#and i dont want all the responses to this to be THAT which i know somehow SOMEONE would respond with it

[laikascomet]

also some clarity for the askbox

1) questions that will be answered by the comic but have yet to be will be deleted. this is the rule im calling 'let me cook' because all will be revealed if you wait patiently for your delicious meal

2) questions that dont serve any interest to other readers will (typically) be answered privately. i do really appreciate all the kind words - i try my best to answer these kinds of asks when they come in, but if i dont get to them right away i promise i still appreciate them!

3) questions are meant to be directed to the characters to answer! while idm answering some questions about my process or art, the ask box is meant to go to the laikas characters so i can draw responses. its actually been so long since ive gotten one like that i dont know if people realize that. (which is okay! thats why im clarifying)

4) though it has been very sparse, any asks that are innapropriate will result in being blocked from the comic's blog and my main and art account as well. innapropriate truly just means any violent or explicitly sexual content (saying 'i think laika is cute/pretty/hot/etc!' or 'i want yues hand in marriage' [all things i have recieved already] are A Okay 🫡)

all i ask is that people keep in mind, while laikas does deal with more serious subject matter this is still an all ages comic. additionally, im just one person writing this comic myself. some of the things people send me can be rather distressing sometimes... all im asking is people please remember i am a person too, and i want to keep writing my comic for you all! i cannot offer much more than that.

#mewspaper

[10yo-anon]

《 Sick days. 》

Satoru Gojo x F!reader

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

⚠️: slight silly type of hurt/comfort!! Yay! :3 (possibly ooc! Satoru), DIALOGEEEEE!!

WC: 896.

A/N: NOOOOO MY TUMBLR DRAFTS DIDN'T SAVE PART 2 OF DARK RED. I WAS HALFWAY FINISHED. IM USIBG THIS LIL DRABBLE TO COPE. AT SKEWL RN MAKING SKEWL DOODLES TO 💪

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

Day 1.

It wasn't often for Satoru to get sick. You know what? Scrap that. It was rare for him to get sick. Maybe once or twice every year. possibly due to him being a sorcerer.

And if he does get sick, it would be a simple cold that would only effusive his immune system for a few days! Unfair!

If you were honest, you kind of liked it when he would get sick.. he gets more clingy, begging for attention and being twice as affectionate as he was physically and emotionally than normal.

But now it doesn't look like just small cold when you see Satoru laying on the couch, groaning, instead of rushing towards your bedroom like he always does whenever he gets back from his missions and responsibilities.

"Satoru, you're back!—..are you okay?" You ask as you walk over to him, sitting on the soft arm chair.

"Huh?.." He tilts his head up to look at you before quickly sitting up, " baby, you're here— yes, yes I'm fine.. duh." he scoffs, "why are you asking? Concerned for your little ol' boyfriend, huh?" He attempts to distract you.

"Maybe because your face is all red, and I doubt its from blushing." You respond sternly, ignoring the last sentence he spat out.

"Its noth—" Before he could talk back, your hands cup his face, in which he subconsciously leans on. "Satoru.. you're sick." You frown. When he realizes you were concerned, his hand goes up to wrap around your wrist. "You know I'll be fine, besides, I'm sure this will go away sooner or later!" Though sweet, His reassurance pisses you off, how could he not care for himself! He should know better!

"Im not sure this will go away 'sooner or later', your temperatures too high." You kiss his forehead. "Nuh uh! Promise, im finee, besides, I dont need your help anyways." Is it possible for you to take your actions and words back?

"Oh, is that so? Fine then, Satoru." You huff before leaning away. "Wait— I don't mean it like that!" "Dosent look like you don't." He crosses his arms. "Fine then, maybe I do think I don't need your help." "Fine." You sigh out before turning away, walking back to the master bedroom to take do your night routine. "Fine!" You hear him respond back at the living room.

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

Day 2.

You wake up from your peaceful slumber, greeted by the pillow wall you made with the reason: "so your fever won't infect me." And Satoru's back. He would always wake up earlier than your, but given his state, it was understandable.

You wanted to help but after your small petty fight with him and his words, your ego won't let you.

You stretch your arms and hop out of bed, (not before you silently place a soft kiss on top of satoru's bed head.) the least you could do was to continue with your morning, and cook food for the both of you.

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

Is it possible for him to take his actions and words back?

He wanted to slap himself sooo bad.. not only did he make you angry, but he didn't even get his "goodnight" and "I love you", he couldn't cuddle you up the whole night because of your stupid idea of a pillow wall, (he knows your reason wasn't the only reason.) But now he had to wake up from his shitty slumber with a raging head ache. He didn't want to play this petty game anymore, but his ego doesn't want to lose. And he started it anyway.

He yawns and walks to the kitchen in search for you, but he only saw breakfast waiting for him and a note saying you went out for errands. Couldn't his day get any worse?

Grumbling curses to himself, he walks to the medicine cabinet you handmade and personally decorated for whenever he came back needing to get bandaged. His hand rummages through the cabinet, gauze.. syringes.. anesthesia...ah, pills!grabbing whatever packet of pills he saw first he sits back at the table seat, eating the delicious warm meal you left for him and swallowing down the pills with water soon after.

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

You take your shoes off, putting the bag of groceries on the counter before going to the bedroom to freshen up.

Your fight with Satoru was only a waiting game to see who breaks and loses, who gets their ego eaten by the other.

Surprisingly, Satoru was nowhere to be found, not until you feel arms wrapping around your waist from behind before he pulls you to his warm chest, leaning down to nuzzle his head on your neck, his warm skin touching yours.

"M'sorry. Im sooo sorry.." you hear and even feel him whine out. "Can't do this anymore.. take care of me, pleasee.."

"Oh, Toru." Maybe this is what happens when even your white blood cells have an ego.

You turn your body to face his slumping one. Barely balancing as he depends his weight down on you, until you both fall down the bed, him on top of you, successfully trapping you before smothering your face with kisses as you giggle from the ticklish feeling.

"Satoru! Stop!" You teasingly push him away. "Hey! You want to help me, don't you." "Mhm, well, yeah—" "then let me continue!" "This won't even help!" "I don't know about that... making you happy is actually taking my head ache away.."

"You geek."

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧��》

A/N: so yeah, i got to rewrite dark red part 2 AGAIN. Before english period started i checked my drafts, and it wasn't there. So i wrote this lil drabble for the whole english period instead of writing notes just to cope 🤗

#☆— 【 fanfiction !! 】 #im sorry #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #satoru gojo x reader #satoru x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x y/n #satoru x you #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo fluff #satoru fluff

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 755: Departure 2

Pag 1

2: Ding ding

3: The boarding the flight number 621 to Fukuoka, departing at 10:30 will close soon

4: If you're boarding, please speak to the staff member closest to you

Pag 2

2: Ah, that guy is angry

Shh

3: Oi

4: He said “I'm coming”, right?

Yessir!! I called him thirty times but he only picked up once....

He just said “soon”....

5: Then why aren't you here, Manamii!!

Pag 3

1: There's the Inter High soon, the Inter High!! Buah!!

So-sorry, I even sent many messages, but his current location-

It's been more than thirty minutes since you've said that, how's that soon!?

Pag 4

1: “Arriving late is a crime”!!

“Causing troubles is a serious crime”!!

Yessir

We told him that, too!!

3: Alright, I put Manami's ticket there, let's go

Huh!? Next to the window!?

That's a little-

Enough

4: Let's go, Yuuto, Tobirama

This time we'll fight as five people in the Inter High

'lright

Yes

No, but, he's the captain!?

Can't be

5: Ah... this must be my ticket

Pag 5

1: Kyushu

3: Take me there, too!!

4: Waaaa, Manami-saan!!

I'm so glad you came!!

Thank you so much!!

Well...

You really are like an here who arrives in the moment of need!!

Pag 6

1: Oi, don't misunderstand!! We were the ones in a pinch and this guy was the culprit!!

Yessir!

Sorry!

Ah, you exposed me...

2: Don't think you can dodge the matter of your tardiness just with your mood and cute face!!

Ah I thought I could make it

3: So?

Why... why were you late?

4: Ahh, I forgot my passport, then I remembered and turned back to get it

5: Ohhh... that's a problem indeed...

Wait!! You don't need a passport to go to Kyushu, right!?

Pag 7

1: Woah!! That was a clever excuse, Manami-san (It was so cool!)

It wasn't clever, and now let's go!!

Did you doze off?

2: Mh...? Well, on the train... it was only one stop?

So he really slept too much...?!

3: Jou-kun and Yuzukoshi-kun went on ahead?

4: They went there with yesterday's flight

Huh!

5: So, when you said “passport”, earlier- what was it, really?

6: Did you really turned back to go get something?

7: Mhh, how should I put it

8: In order to fulfill the final promise....

Pag 8

1: “The final promise”?

It was

3: a necessary piece

4: You're still wearing that ridiculous hat, Manami?

Ah... it's the one Ashikiba-san wanted last year... (Yuuto)

This is for exclusive use during the Inter High

Ohh... “exclusive use”, cool (Tobirama)

Pag 9

2: Kyoto... Kyoto...

7: Small fries!!

Pag 10

1: Then, should we go?

Are you...

Pag 11

1: finally ready?!

2: Yes....!!

3: Mi!!

6: This year's victory will be ours

Our long-awaited victory

Pag 12

1: It's checkmate!!

2: They're coming!!

3: They're coming!! One by one, to this land of Kyushu!!

4: Won't it favour us!? It's our hometown – us, Kumamoto Daichi!!

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 755 #another short chapter i really hope sensei is okay!! #I dont mind the short chap at all (especially bc lately ive had little time to translate) but im kinda worried :') #This chapter was so asdhsdfksdg Manamiiiii you absolute disaster #who would have thought that the responsible one in this team would end up being doubash huh #now that's the surprising thing lmao #manami really went back to get the best boy cap i cant with him #btw i dont remember; does he know that the one who gave him the cap is onoda's mum?? how does he know #'i went back bc i had forgotten my passport' 'you dont need a passport to go to kyushu!?!?!?' ashdkasdfs well at lest he tried lmao #also 'Yuzukoshi-kun'??? is he the other hakogaku member?? :eyes emoji: #cant wait to see what other weirdo hakogaku will have this year #i think this year's hakogaku is the weirdest one - which is a lot tbh #i feel like its going to be my fave hakogaku team #btw doubashi wanting to leave manami behind and just run as five assdgfkdfgs hes right and tbh he should just do just that whenever manami #doesnt show up - 'well i guess we're a five people team from now on' #btw i love i we saw everyone! only kiji's team is missing #(maybe theyll shop up next chapter who knows wanatabe loves kiji enough that it wouldnt surprise me) #midosuji shows up for exactly one panel and hes already creepy af i love him #cant wait to get to know the new guy!! #and hiroshima!!!! cant wait to see them try so hard and then get defeated in the most pathetic ways like every year #i love them i cant wait to see what kind of weirdo higashimura has become #he was kinda normal last year but we cant have a normal person as the hiroshima captain lrb #and then theres kumadai #acting all important and then we all know theyll do absolutely nothing ajsgfksadf

[intotheelliwoods]

happy day 3 of tumblr not allowing me to post comics everybody🎉

#nonsense #ok so theres two comics I have #both of which have one panel in them that tumblr just deems inappropriate or some shit #which makes the entire post not show up on dashes #I dont know what it is about the two panels that it doesnt like #I am assuming this is some new image filtration system they added due to current world events.....? #I sent over two help emails but there has been no response to those yet... #oh this wont get on my nerves at all #I just want to share the finished beetle comic and crossover comic :(

[wildstar25]

What physical part(s) of Arsay does her partners find the most attractive! Is it the same for all partners or does it differ between them?

(also optional bonus ask of what part(s) of/about Arsay generally do they love the most, physical or not!)

Meanwhile, if you were to ask the same of Arsay:

#ffxiv #wolship #g'raha tia #y'shtola rhul #wolgraha #wolshtola #y'shtola x wol #arsay nun #graharshtola #y'shtola calling arsay a pain in her side is very much an affectionate thing btw #and i couldnt pass up the joke of g'raha giving the sweet gentlemanly response only for yshtola to be like 'tits tbh' #her defaulting to an answer that would probably stop the conversation before she has to talk to much about her deeper feelings imo #i have. a lot of feelings about yshtola and arsay's friendship #someone who is constantly trying to build walls between herself and others vs someone who desperately wants to form real connections #its not a 'wearing that person down' type situation either #just one lonely person seeing another lonely person and hoping that they could be less lonely together #or that she could at least bring some cheer to #and idk yshtola strikes me as the type to have been like 'if they want to be my friend they have to work for it' #which arsay certainly did #i could ramble on and on how their friendship lines up so well with yshtolas character development but theres a limit to these tags #so just look at how cute shtola is with the slightest blush on her cheeks #graha is a much more complicated topic since he went from Extreme adoration to I want to be her friend but I dont think im good enough #to 100% Hero worship again to Shes my hero and I love her to Shes a person and I love her #to I love Arsay. Even the parts she can't love in herself. I will love all of her till my dying breath. #he thinks shes the most beautiful person in the world and the most important thing in his life #but he now knows how insane she's been about being everyone's hero and he really doesnt want to feed that beast #so hes trying to build her up in other ways #focusing more on the adventuring side than the saving the world side #and then there is arsay who loves so much about her partners and is in capable of narrowing it down to any one thing so its #'here let me list everything that comes to mind right now' with 0 shame or filter

[moonlit-imagines]

…

#hypothetical situation (not) but how would one feel if their roommate was using their tv in the living room (which was bought by your father #as a gift to you) and is sitting on the couch you paid for (rubbing their feet all over it like literally rubbing back and forth and in #between the cushions) and had left a mess on the table you also bought and when you asked if you could use your tv in the living room their #response was to immediately argue (raise voice) saying ‘I PAY RENT TOO YOU CANT KICK ME OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM’ when this was the first time #i had asked in our 2 months of living here to use my tv bc shes been using it all week and my ps5 is connected to it so i wanted to use it #she said ‘this isn’t yours your dad bought it’ and then said ‘dont you have your own tv in your room’ (which is much smaller and i cannot #play ps5 games on bc yaknow. ps5 is in living room) #how would we feel in this situation #knowing said roommate is using your things and claiming them as apart of rent (i assure you its not apart of rent i paid for and dragged in #and set up all these things out of my own pocket) #claiming them……as their own………. #and taking over? #she has not even bought anything for the house and then whenever i ask and finally give up and get it myself shes like ‘oh i was gonna get #that tomorrow’ (which is why shes not allowed to use my shower caddy now lmao) #am i being territorial or am i being reasonable for being upset with her? #wtf do i do LMAO #delete later

[ganondoodle]

a wild assortement of comic wip screenshots and a random doodle that i posted to twitter but not here

(this doodle here is of Raal (aka demise before he became a deity) but whatever happens here isnt anything 'canon', i just randomly doodled him to try a loosen up my painting style bc when i work on the comic i tend to concentrate too much of rendering it perfectly and i dont like that)

#ganondoodles #doodles #art #i am so very tired #too tired for tags #btw i do love and read every ask i get but damn i just dont have the energy to reply to most #and i feel so guilty #i wish i could make a warning show up when someone wants to send me an ask #that just says -yo i love and cherish and reread all asks but unfortunately have zero energy to reply but chances are it made me cry- #given the asks isnt mean spirited or straight up bots #which my impsoter brain sometimes still tries to make me think #like either woo look at all those people LYING to your face #but i have grown alot since those days and now its mostly just #so look what a nice and lovely absolutely beautiful ask this person send you and you disrespectful fool are not answering it shame upon you #thats most likely why i have been getting less and less and man i feel so bad #like when its asks about drawing advice i either dont know what to say bc i dont have any idea what im doing eihter #or bc i plan a giant response with a big ass illustrated tutorial even tho i know i neither got the time or energy for it #but still cant answer then bc wait you wanted to make a tutorial you cant answer it just like that #and when its a super nice compliment about my art i just #dont know how to express my gratitude and silently reread it time and time again never answering it bc then it would be gone from the inbox #;__; #alright falling asleep brain better not have written sth i will regret reading tomorrow #i think this is the longest tags i put on a completely unrelated post of mine #if you have read all these tags send me an ask only containing the name of your fav fruit and i will make you a little pixel sprite of it

[dangerous-advantage]

(Image description below 'read more' line.)

[Image ID: A four-by-four alignment chart on a white background with text descriptions to the left and to the top of the squares.

The top left description reads, "seems like they'd be good at parenting." The top right description reads, "seems like they'd be bad at parenting."

Then, from the top down, to the left of the squares, the other set of descriptions reads: "excellent child rearing instincts," and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Each of the four squares contains an image of a different character. At the top left is an image of Lan Wangji of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the descriptors "seems like they'd be good at parenting," and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the top right square sits an image of Wei Wuxian, also of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the junction of "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the bottom left square is an image of Xie Lian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the square with the captions, "seems like they'd be good at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Finally, in the bottom left square, sits an image of Hua Cheng from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the junction between "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life". /End ID]

#look ok #i see all the cute little fics with xl and hc talking about becoming parents and etc etc #and that's cute! that's adorable!! let them be happy!!! #but. you have to admit ok. hualian need to work through their own problems #like c'mon. xl picks up like AT LEAST three kids in the book and then proceeds to forget about one on his shelf for a while #just kinda. stands judgmentally with his hands on his hips about guzi and qi rong (it's really funny though don't get me wrong) #and after finally re-capturing lang ying he's like 'i'm gonna guardian you!' and then a whole bunch of shit happens and uh well #ly turns out to be the ghost of some kid xl traumatized 800 years ago come back for vengeance (L) #which means xl traumatized him multiple times lmao #we aren't even touching qi rong and lang qianqiu which YES i know the latter wasn't xl's fault and i am fully aware that the situation with #qi rong is and was complicated. BUT. come ON man can these poor kids never catch a break? the one kid he DIDN'T accidentally traumatize #turned out to be obsessively in love with him so like maybe this is for the best? #anyway i also just don't think they'd be... genuinely interested in a commitment like that? like hc would go along with anything xl wants #but he doesn't seem the type to be interested in kids (he's mostly just interested in xl) #xl isn't off the hook either ok #people bring up hc's treatment of e'ming but xl isn't exactly a saint to ruoye. i dont blame the guy he's got a lot on his mind #but he's also very.... absent #plus with the responsibilities of their respective positions all their extra time is like. spent on eachother jk? #this isn't to say xl doesn't *like* kids or anything i just don't think he would want to be a full-time parent lmao #also they DEFINITELY have their own issues with themselves as kids and i'm afraid that might translate into like. parenting #meme #tgcf #mxtx meme #tgcf meme #xie lian #hua cheng #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan zhan

[cinnaminsvga]

zee i need to go back to 2018 immediately this 20’s shit is not it

[cont.] omg zee harana hit 1k notes hotdamn jeon jungkook fics really are a different breed not even these fuckholes 20’s can change that

(im assuming this is the same anon lol) but yeah dude why tf do i miss the 2015-2018 era when i know goddamn well that they were only fractionally better than how life is now... i know movies and tv shows always talk about "real" adulthood but MAN they were not kidding about how soul-sucking it can be ;w; everyday you just work and work and work and then you get one vacation maybe then you work and work and work then you DIE... NGAHHGHDH...

also yes holy shit icb harana hit 1k notes??? I WAS EXPECTING MAYBE 500 at most... jk fics really do hit different bc tell me why i KNOW that when i release the other fics with the other members that they'll likely barely breach 200 notes 🫠 jungkook stans i prommy my yoobie fics are fire just give them a chance 🧎🏻‍♀️

#also can i just say it was strange watching the reception for harana #bc for one like??? i did not get as much verbal response as i would have expected from a 1k note fic #bc every other fic of mine that reaches that usually has some buzz but this time it was... kinda quiet??? #which i dont mind btw like i wrote and posted harana not even knowing if people were gonna read it given how long my hiatus has been #so i wasnt expecting much reception at all but its still... #its just strange!! also ever since i posted harana i keep seeing other jk fics pop up on my fyp #and its always the same phenomena.... why is everyone lurking 0_0 #also why is it hard to find yoongi fics.... tell me why everything is pwp.... i want 40k slow burn madness :((( #OK TIME TO GO BACK AND ROT (maybe write some yoongi on the side) #Anonymous #answered

[falldogbombsthemoon]

Yall haha, my dad made it so I have wifi access for one hour a day. which I can use from like 14 to 21 german time. So once my mobile data is dead, I will not be active that much ig. So please dont think I'm abandoning yall.

#vent following #its fucking ridiculous. im not a fucking child. neither is my brother #no idea what my dad wants to achieve through that. “so you can relaxe more” yeah no. being on the internet is my fucking coping mechanism. #there is nothing about relaxation there. also he did that so we'll to go sleep earlier. if it really was about that. #he would need to force me to sleep. you cant just change my sleep schedule by that #anyway its fucking ridiculous as i was on a good way of getting to sleep more early but if imma do that now he will think like #“wow. im such a good dad. i fixed all the problems my child could possibly have.” which is absolutely not the case #yk. ive always fucking struggled with feeling like people cant trust me. #and him not trusting my abilities to be responsible for myself is not helping #and then boom. im feeling shitty but wait haha my coping mechanism is currently set offline. #and like also im in extra stress atm bc school is fucking with me #not only are like a bunch of tests on the way but my fucking anxiety in school is getting so bad. #i cant sit in that facility without feeling like imma have a panic attack any minute #i am in need of fucking professional mental help. and at least one diagnosis. i dont want to do shit to myself. #but in this house hold. emotions are not talked about. feelings are suppressed and mental health is an illusion #i NEED to see a fucking psychiatrist. but i dont feel like i can to my parents about that. and technically i could go without them knowing #but someone needs to educate them. and i mentally cant be that someone #and guess whos sitting in their room crying and writing about that rn. not studying for their tests tomorrow and the day after. #i bet if my parents wouldnt have done that shit with my wifi i would be studying rn #quinns daily yapping post #rather #quinns personal hell

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🩹🧸🏨

#i hate being in pain like this #bc it completely takes over my life. like im incapable of thinking of anything else #im incapable of relaxing or enjoying anything. i cant do important things. cant do anything else but sit still nd be in pain #it just renders me completely useless and makes me stop functioning properly #im just a hopeless mess made of anxiety nd sadness. idk why but i just hyperfixate on it and i cant 'let go' or relax or not think abt it #idk how other ppl do it.... i wish i wasnt like this bc it's awful. it's like the only thing that exist nd ever will exist is this pain 4evr #im dramatic i know but ​it genuinely feels like my entire life is over and i'll ever know is pain nd nothing will ever get better again #im so caught up in it i cant see anything else but my pain. i cant think of the future bc do i have one?? i dont know #im just not feeling good at all. and everything feels bleak and depressing and i dont want it :(( #i cant have any fun or nice moments at all and im just tired of life #i feel so fkn stressed abt all the things i need to do nd all my responsibilities and idk how i'll do them when im in this pain #i just hope it can calm down soon i just want it to be a little bit easier just a little bit #getting thru each day now is so fkn hard i barely sleep but when i do i wish i never wake up #i hate everything and it feels like my future is fucked #which makes me wanna die!! but it also makes me sad bc there is actually sm i want to live for #i dont want it all to be ruined bc i want to try to live!!!! :( #and yess im know im being dramatic but i cant help it. im weak nd im terrible at dealing w pain nd issues #im not a strong person who can withstand everything nd finds ways to live either way. maybe it's bc my will to live isnt that strong #idk. i just hate this i want it to be over. it's taking over my life nd idk how to still function like this

[moving-to-dreamwinged]

sometimes engaging in f/o content just makes me sad

#like DHSUXNEJZN sometimes i’ll think its fine but then il be all like #do other people know them better than me #am i mischaracterizing them entirely #what if i dont love them as much as everyone else #i wish i could be there to help them #what if they don’t get the ending i want them to get #what if i’m misunderstanding their character #or just general sadness that theyre not real whatever yk #all around it just kind of bums me out most of the time #which is so messed up and WEIRD it should make me happy #but oh well . #i don’t think i have the correct emotional response to anything anymore lmfao

[kyuzuberri]

man why does my family treat me like im not a human :(((

#Like bro i get it you all just woke up but like #I did not sleep at all + i was studying which made my brain numb #and when i wake up all annoyed you all tell me i got attitude issues??? #And lets ignore how my sisters literally TORTURE me to wake me up #And when im quiet all day yall ask me to talk??? #Dude talk about what you guys dont even want to listen to me? #and then when i talk to myself and inanimate objects you all start thinking i have a boyfriend? #what is that logic 😻😻😻 #maybe start considering me as a human who actually gets hurt and feels stuff ill start acting normal again #in the meantime #keep on using me for only your own purposes and talk to me when it concerns you only #and think of me doing stuff for you all as a “responsibility” that i have #BECAUSE IM NOT A HUMAN !!! #and ofc only my sister is stressed about her exams because i dont cry about it like her #oh no no wait till you find out what i actually did the whole past year cuz #i was so emotionally frustrated and brimming with all that ew emotions that i had to take out out somehow #its a shame how i think they know yet they dont care

[thebirdandhersong]

But where do I put all this love? It's inside of me, growing and festering and threatening to explode out of me. Who do I give it to now? Where does it go? Where does it go to fade away? Where does it go to die a quiet death? There isn't a pair of familiar hands to receive it anymore, and no longer a welcoming mailbox waiting with its mouth open. Where does it all go and where should I put it? Who do I love now, the way I loved that boy?

#what a headache this is. i dont love him anymore which is just as well because oftentimes that ish HURT. #but whose hand do i hold who do i cook dinner for who will turn to me with laughter in their eyes #like they know i understand the joke who will hold the umbrella so far over my head their whole sleeve gets wet #who do i send letters to while full knowing i'll never get a response but still hoping for one who will wink at me across #the dinner tablr who will walk me home who will i think of while im dancing in the kitchen #who will i make tea for who will i agonize over while planning birthday and Christmas gifts #who will i love the same way? where do i put this mountain of love #what do i do with all the little specific ways i learned to love #and who will love me when the only person who has ever looked and me and said i love you and i want to cherish you #was also the person who made me feel like an afterthought a sincere but directionless fling #who made me feel undesirable and unseen and unwanted? i have never felt so unwanted the way i felt at the very end #anyway this is probably a sign that im up way too late anyway what is the point in wondering lol #since breaking up with the boy i have shot my shot with four other friendly candidates #and have been gunned down by disinterest or unfortunate barriers #since breaking up with him four of my friends have gotten engaged and one has begun a new promising relationship #and four others are pregnant. when will i not have to examine my heart #and see the ugliest kinds of covetous resentful thoughts and feelings and be like #ah yes this is not a healthy response #also no wonder the only boy who ever thought you were worth loving never loved you fully and completely #he signed up for what he thought was a beautiful heart a beautiful mind a beautiful soul no wonder he was disappointed

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag #trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened #and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents #but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO #they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her #but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers #and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming #(a conversation SHE started btw) #and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back #and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary??? #that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you #like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive) #but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but. #if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that #i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions? #and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️' #(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent) #hate it. thanks #apostake #jay rambles #ok to interact #im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged #gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully #they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face #haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc #it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace #my sister's 17 ffs #it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void #religion #mormonism