#and i thought it was funnier to leave it as is

[erwinsvow]

introducing... bitchy reader!

rafe never pays attention to sarah’s friends. new yet similar faces seem to make the rounds through tannyhill every week; the place was a revolving door. the occasional familiar girl would say hi to him, which would of course be ignored since he doesn’t care enough to say hi back.

so naturally, you become the exception to his little rule.

you and sarah are on opposite sides of the counter, flicking through magazines and taking sips from overpriced iced coffees, when he overhears a conversation that makes him stop and listen.

“-and he’s not like topper, like, at all. he’s really nice and actually talks to me instead of at me-”

“wow,” he hears you say, dragging out the syllables and sarcasm dripping from your voice. “such standards you have. no, really.”

“shut up. he’s totally sweet-” sarah says, but you interrupt her.

“he’s, like, totally a dirty pogue.” that catches his attention—not just the fact that there’s something going on between his sister and some pogue, but the way you say the sentence, how the words sound coming from your mouth. 

you nearly sound like rafe.

“that is so rude-”

“what? i’m just being honest. i’d be a bad friend if i didn’t tell you the truth.”

“what truth?” his sister questions.

“that you’re settling for some pogue boy because you’re bored of top. i get it. if i was dating him i’d be bored enough to fuck a pogue too.”

rafe cringes at the topic even though your word choice makes him laugh—topper is boring, though he doesn’t think he’s heard anyone else bring it up until now. he steps back into the doorway, watching the two of you. the crass words are coming from you, dressed in a sunny yellow dress and tapping pretty pink nails against the counter. 

“hey! i’m not bored-”

“you mean, you like hearing about his boat and golf every single day?”

“he has other hobbies! like-”

“like what?” you pause, watching sarah’s expression before giving her a pointed look—a look that says told you so. “who are you really trying to convince right now?” you flip through another magazine, finding something that must have caught your eye. you lift it to show sarah—some pinked striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers on the pages. “don’t i totally need this?”

“shut up.”

“that’s what someone says when they know the other person’s right,” you say with a mocking smile, setting down the magazine. he’s watching the whole thing—you’re funnier than he would have thought. “and if you change your mind just go to country club. top’s dime a dozen there.” the two of you start laughing. 

“i’m not gonna change my mind-”

“that’s what you said when you started dating topper,” you say it deadpan, and rafe holds back a laugh.

“-because he’s really nice. he’s a good guy.”

“ugh, sarah. making out with a dirty pogue at a bonfire is one thing. you’re talking like you’re in love. get a grip.”

“what? what’s so wrong with that?” sarah asks, taking a sip of her drink.

“because you can’t be in love with someone you have to hide your valuables around.” that’s when he decides to walk in—sarah sputtering on her drink while you roll your eyes.

“and what’re you girls talkin’ about?” rafe asks, and two sets of eyes turn to look at him. you look at him a little confused—in all the years you’ve known sarah and times you’ve been at tannyhill, rafe’s never once spoken to you.

“i don’t think it’s any of your business-” his sister says, and then he rolls his eyes. you interrupt right away.

“sarah, it’s okay.” you turn to rafe, looking right at him and leaning in a little like you’re gonna tell in something. “it’s really not any of your business.”

blank face, trying to be annoyed but not actually feeling annoyed, he stares back at you. his sister laughs stupidly, heading into the living room. she leaves you alone with rafe in the kitchen, but as you grab your drink and try to follow sarah, rafe says something.

“y’know i heard that shit you were sayin’. you’re funny, kid.” you turn back to look at rafe.

“thanks. i wasn’t joking.”

“yeah. good. at least one of my sister’s friends has ‘er head screwed straight.” you laugh, but the look on your face says you didn’t think it was funny.

“are you trying to compliment me? by insulting all my other friends?” he wasn’t expected that retort.

“no. no, i-”

“maybe if your friend wasn’t such a shit boyfriend, sarah wouldn’t be talking to some pogue. but hey, what do i know?”

“hey, kid, i-”

“don’t call me that.” you roll your eyes, walking to the living room without even glancing back at rafe. he calls out after you again.

“so have you?” you pause, turning again.

“have i what?” “made out with some pogue at the bonfire.” he shrugs. “that’s what you said to sarah, isn’t it?”

“again, how is that any of your business?” you ask, cocking your head at him.

“that’s not an answer.”

“i don’t owe you an answer. but for the record, no, i haven’t. i actually have standards.” he doesn’t miss the remark and what it says about his sister.

“good,” rafe says, looking at you. his eyes rake over your body before he can stop it—your short hem, the jewelry dangling on your wrists and neck, the heels even though you hadn’t gone anywhere.

“shut up. weirdo.” you walk to the living room where sarah’s waiting for you.

rafe’s gonna have a hard time staying away from you.

#this was so much better in my head but oh well #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #bitchy reader

[kissmguts]

I saw you said requests are open and thought I’d send one! (Can I be 🦙anon?? If that isn’t taken by someone else!)

Imagine being Aiden’s sibling (and Ben’s cousin) and dating Tyler. Like just what that’d be like? And also had a thought like I could just see happening with being Aiden’s sibling and dating Tyler 💀.

But like Aiden always unintentionally stopping them from kissing?? Even just a simple kiss on the cheek because he keeps unintentionally interrupting/making it awkward every time. Even funnier if they have yet to have a first kiss and Aiden keeps unintentionally stopping it from happening without realizing?? 😭💀

SO FAR, SO CLOSE

author's note : you can be llama anon (i love ur brain)

concept : being aiden’s sibling AND tyler’s gf? genre : headcanons content : curse words, you’re involved with the phantom world stuff

⠀ › ⠀being aiden’s sibling meant handling annoying situations ⠀ › ⠀growing up, aiden was unintentionally your “patience trainer” ⠀ › ⠀unless you have the same personality as him (which would be way worse than the phantom world, you guys would be the cause of world destruction) ⠀ › ⠀dating tyler at the same time meant dealing with both their bullshit ⠀ › ⠀tyler does try to keep it cool, he doesn’t wanna bother you by shit talking your own brother ⠀ › ⠀tyler gets all “aiden was such a… rascal! he was being so!” he would pause to use the right words ⠀ › ⠀gets irritated when aiden interrupts your kisses to the point he literally accuses aiden of doing it on purpose ⠀ › ⠀”i swear you’re trying to start a fight!” tyler complained ⠀ › ⠀“what happened?” aiden scratched his cheek with a dumb smile ⠀ › ⠀tyler would sometimes blurt out cursewords at aiden “you dumb #### i will #### you! i swear to god!” ⠀ › ⠀at some point tyler would have actually yelled at aiden “i can’t even kiss my own girlfriend because of your lemon-headed ass always having to be everywhere!” ⠀ › ⠀like the twins, it was some unspoken rule to aiden that you wouldn't leave his sight unless you're just in your room chilling.

bonus:

⠀ › ⠀absolute chaos in the phantom world honestly. ⠀ › ⠀tyler would check on his sister and you first, obviously ⠀ › ⠀when tyler would save you from a phantom, he would heavily breathe and ask “you okay?” with his weapon up (blushing n kicking my feet) ⠀ › ⠀aiden would smile at this and kill the next phantom before tyler could and ask you “you okay?” before giggling ⠀ › ⠀tyler’s eye would literally be twitching and the others would have to remind them about the serious situation ⠀ › ⠀so many situations where they exchange “that’s my sibling!” and “that’s my girlfriend!” ⠀ › ⠀whenever you are going out on a date with tyler, aiden would come with you to “drop you off” ⠀ › ⠀you could feel the tension when aiden says goodbye with that eat-shitting grin on his face

#tyler hernandez x reader #sbg x reader #school bus graveyard x reader #school bus graveyard #sbg #sbg (webtoon) #sbg tyler #tyler sbg #aiden sbg #aiden clark #aiden clark sbg #sbg aiden #tyler x reader #aiden x reader

[stars-n-spice]

Silly Squad Alignment Charts

Because I thought it would be fun and silly :)

Find out more about the Silly Squad here!

Of course, have to start with the classic:

Hunter will say they have food at home and it's literally like probably two slices of bread, a bottle of ketchup, and a head of lettuce

Viram KNOWS how to cook so you best be happy to eat her food instead of having Mcdonalds

Khea and Echo it depends on their mood whether they pull up and order a single black coffee before leaving (Echo would never do it if Omega is in the car)

Crosshair doesn't even like their coffee but he does it to be a little shit

Feel like Tech is also kinda in the middle because he'll be like "Technically we have food at home-" but he also needs his caffeine

Phee will ALWAYS pull up to the Mcdonalds, especially when Omega's with her. Then Omega always holds it over Hunter- "Well, PHEE takes ME to Mcdonalds!"

Tay is the definition of a bastard (no seriously)

Phee is bastard (affectionate) but would technically be more of "Badass" than anything

Khea, Crosshair, and Tech are the Bitch Trio and if you put them in a room together they WILL tear each other apart (emotionally most likely but Tech will goad Crosshair and Khea into physically fighting each other while he records)

Majority of the squad is Babey though

Echo is also "Bad Ass" but he could also be a Bitch if he wanted

Hunter is Bastard just because I think it's funny

Dumb Bitch Hunter my beloved <3

Echo is sad dick because he has no dick

I use dumb affectionately with Wrecker (not with Hunter and Tay)

Tech just has big dick energy to me idk

Khea's a sad hoe but she'll never admit to it (the being sad part)

If you've noticed, I really like making fun of Hunter that's why he's there in the dumbass squared category

Wrecker, Khea, and Phee are all smart as fuck but have more fun pretending that they aren't really

Tay is good at pretending that he is smart - he is not

Then of course, Tech, Cross, and Echo are all smartasses

This fit so perfectly I was dying

Hunter is laughing nervously because he's aroace lmao

Omega would be like "Thanks! :D" and just carry on

Jung would most likely do *thumbs up* instead of finger guns though

When you pair up the couples, it's funnier

If Tay said "I know" after Cross told him that he loved him, Crosshair would dump him on the spot

Khea tells Wrecker she loves him for the first time and he short circuits and probably would say something along the lines of "YEET!"

Viram and Echo both have issues and would not be able to comprehend why someone would love them - I'm sure Echo's got insecurities and Viram knows she's a workaholic and therefore difficult to be in a relationship so she apologies in advance

If Phee told Tech she loved him and he went "a horrible decision, really" she'd probably laugh

And of course, who doesn't love Phee? If you don't, get out of here.

Crosshair could care less, he ain't dealing with that shit

Tech would say this ominously as if he's seen the future and knows your death is imminent meanwhile Khea's is more of a - "you probably will because everyone close to me has already died" sort of way :/

I feel like Omega might also be "i'd die for you first" too

Hunter, Viram, and Echo don't want to deal with that shit either, they've already got so much loss, guilt, and other things on their plate

Tay's probably not listening when someone tells him they'd die for him while Phee's like, "Oh, neat. Anyways, as I was saying about my last adventure-"

Jung is ready and willing to put his life on the line and Wrecker would probably more like a "Nu uh" because he's got your back and would look out for you

Phee will also do it for some credits or a cool treasure

Tay is going to fight god (and he's going to lose)

Tech could do so much more than take down the government, but he needs incentives (him and Phee can take down the government together <3)

Khea is a bounty hunter, her job literally requires her to stab people sometimes in order for her to get money

Crosshair would stab without anyone needing to ask him

Echo's taking down the government no matter what, but especially if Rex asks him to come along

Jung is going to fight god if you ask them to (and he'll win)

Viram is the type of friend who is an excellent tutor and you end up understanding the concept after getting her help meanwhile Omega will explain what she knows and then the homework becomes a group project of figuring out what the fuck it's asking

You can copy Hunter's homework but there is no guarantee that the answers are right (most of them are wrong)

You can copy Jung's homework and there's a high chance the answers are right

Khea had better things to do than homework - like get frustrated over it and cry for a bit before giving up on it

Phee did some of the homework but she'll only help you out if you give her something in exchange

Wrecker and Tay, beloved himbos, they had no idea and even if they did do the homework, you wouldn't want to copy off of them

Crosshair also didn't do the homework but he also doesn't want to respond

Tech and Echo both did the homework and it's correct but they don't tolerate copying work to even have suggested it is offensive so now you're left on read

#tbb #tbb ocs #tbb oc #the bad batch #clone force 99 #sw tbb #bad batch #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb echo #tbb tech #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #oc x canon #oc x hunter #oc x echo #oc x wrecker #oc x crosshair #techphee #phee genoa #sw ocs #khea nultez #viram cossa #tay'kaa marr #jung-myn yun #baddies batch #silly squad

[karkatbug]

1 day to go! Day 5 - Worst Enemies

dirk poked the bear and all he had to say for himself was 'yikes' dsjkfhfkh

@413countdown

#i still think its funny how dirk thought it was a good idea to piss off kanaya #i think its even funnier that he acknowledges that this is scary by saying oh fk shes pissed u couldnt pay me to be near her rn #i love all and any art depicting kanaya being a dirk hater its just so fucking funny to me idk why #like even in a modern au imagine rose leaving dirk and kanaya in a room together or something im crying #homestuck #413countdown #ult!dirk #dirk strider #rose lalonde #rosebot #kanaya maryam #rosemary #jade harley #hsfanart #my art #hs2

[0xeyedaisy]

Random stuff

#incredibox #sepbox #monart #spiders #Okay time to dump my thoughts in the tags #The first doodle was drawn cuz it had rained recently #I thought Edgar would enjoy the rain (assuming it doesn't rain in the depths) #The Watcher doodle was me thinking about how the Watcher watches over everyone #He sends out his little spider minions to spy on ppl! #He sees everything through their eyes #The Edgar comic is what I imagine he did when he left the depths #While the docs say that they only found his jewerly and crown at the Gateway #I like to think that Edgar saw this new place and immediately stripped naked. Cuz it's funnier that way #He decided to leave his past life as the prince at the gate with his royal clothes and jewerly #or something like that #The last doodle is how I imagine Tam's illness spread across his face #The documents don't mention how exactly he got the illness #I thought maybe it started from an innocuous scratch #He lost his eye cuz it straigh up rotted away #Annnnd that's about it #I'm always thinking about this mod as you can tell. So sad I can't draw every idea I have orz #Anyway I'll contunie having thoughts and patiently waiting for v8

[sau-cen]

#I ofc hc Shinji as bi like I am but I thought leaving it as just GAY would be funnier :P #nge #anime #shinji ikari #neon genesis evangelion #nge meme #misato katsuragi #asuka #asuka langley soryu #asuka shikinami #mari makinami illustrious #rei ayanami #lgbt #gay

[tastycitrus]

rosecass as i understand it (very accurate)

#cassandra cain #rose wilson #rosecass #or is it #cassrose #yeah i dunno #i thought about changing the twitter names but decided it's funnier to just leave it like this

[confusedfoam]

all the kiddads are so bird coded

lark and sparrow, so obvious it doesn't count

Nicky, wings

Terry Jr, was fed dry oats

Grant, murderer

#this post brought to you by several layers thought jumping #i was just going to leave grant off but i decided this was much funnier #look tell me birds arent a little evil #grant wilson #lark oak garcia #sparrow oak garcia #terry jr #nick foster #nick close #dndads #dndaddies #dungeons and daddies

[spiritonadventure]

#miitopia #i thought about redrawing this digitally but i think it would be funnier if i leave it as is 😭 #team soul #my ocs #altair #ezi

[randomgooberness]

Gordon should NOT get a biological hand back(if he does it’s busted to all hell and mostly numb). And any prosthetic he gets sucks ass unless it has a cartoony switchable feature that lets him adapt to certain tasks because even high tech prosthetic hands with the correct reaction speeds will never beat gun arm if your goal is shooting something.

What im saying is he makes a million different hands for himself to the point where he has “fork hand” and “screwdriver hand” and “scissor hand” ect

#hlvrai #gordon feetman #HAPPY 5 AM IM STILL RUNNING ON 3 HOURS OF SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #like look. i dont expect the RTVS gang to put thought into their disability rep in a comedy series on gmod. i dont #but also i get so tired seeing people be like. oh his arms back :) AT LEAST LEAVE IT SCARRED AND NUMB……DAMN! #not to mention people constantly sleep on how interesting mobility aids are to flesh out for characters #though that might be from my years of experience writing an amputee. #DISCLAIMER!! I MYSELF AM NOT AN AMPUTEE JUST BTW!!!!!!!!! LISTEN TO ACTUAL AMPUTEES BEFORE ME #though im repeating everything ive ever heard ESP that prsothetics tend to fucking suck #not saying he cant HAVE a robot hand. i draw him with one. i just think itd be funnier and more realistic if he swaps it out #might draw examples when i wake up bc its silly and fun :) #wait adding more tags despite the fact that NO ONE WILL READ THEM. this is esp the case bc hes right handed #he needs his right hand for fine motor skill you will NOT get that with a prosthetic

[whynotimtired]

The more I think about it the more I like the idea that mike was supposed to be the 4th and final sacrifice and him going to California kicked off every problem that Henry had in his plan, like it was Chrissy, Fred, max, and then mike. The plan was take max out for El and take mike out for Will, by the time they come back to Hawkins for the funerals all the gates are open and Wills mental state is worse for wear and for the first time he's without Mike, his rock. There's no longer anyone to pull him from the brink which makes Will perfect to manipulate and finally get on Henry's side for good. But Mike leaves and he suddenly needs a new number 4 so he finds Patrick and then max, his number 3, finds a loophole so he has to take Patrick instead as 3 and max becomes his final sacrifice. It all worked out in the end for him and Will was still drawn back but the only hitch in his plan is still Mike. He's still alive which means he needs to get rid of him in some way if he's ever going to have a chance to get to Will

#thinking thoughts thinking so many thoughts #which is why mike would be getting vecna'd without a clear reason as to why #bc hes not killing him to open a gate he just really REALLY wants him gone and yk 'if you want smthn done right you have to do it yourself' #i think the idea of mike screwing up another one of his plans is funnier than henry waiting for him to leave #bc chrissy was killed while mike was still in hawkins #but anyway its whatever fkbdbsbs #stranger things #mike wheeler #st5 speculation #st4 analysis #will byers #will byers has powers #byler #mike gets vecna'd #and the fact that patricks was weird and different and he didnt have the build up that everyone else did #....and mike is the only person who left hawkins #the potential flashbacks when henry reveals that he was supposed to be in Max's place....like the max reveal #when she was popping tylenol and getting nosebleeds and having nightmares #i am clawing at the walls #'i thought you were done. you got what you wanted! the gates are open! hawkins is in ruins!' #'oh dont be so naive michael.'

[hinamie]

Dude your tags always make me laugh! :) Amazing artist and you make us giggle. You're a gem! Thanks for existing

thank you !!! i make myself giggle as well im my favourite person to talk to :3 i hardly talk to anyone irl so i have a lot of pent up things to say

#Anonymous #leaving tags is so fun its like o u thought th post was over nope lmao ive got shit to say stay tuned !!! #my favourite thing abt posting art is using tags as a behind th scenes artist statement they r where i rant about everything tht went wrong #but just in general #reblogging w caption ? cringe. tacky. rarely funny #reblogging n adding tags? classy and immediately 20x funnier

[loppiopio]

live izaya reaction to chapter 29 (honey python) of a cheap imitation.

#durarara #izaya orihara #a cheap imitation #shitpost #i made a thing #tumblr wouldn't let me upload more than one video in the same post so this a stray from the 🥥 post #this one might be funnier on its own though so maybe it works out #i expect the notes on this one to not exceed the single digits hsgsds #but hey it is a thing i made so i'll leave it here for posterity #unlike the others in the 🥥 post this one was specifically made for marketing #which is a thing i started doing on twitter to try and entice my book club victims to read a new chapter of the fic #at a pace i thought would be more fun #so it's supposed to be very ??? since my intended response was meant to be like “??? wtf is going on in the next chapter” #“i've gotta read it” #“oh” #“no” #and it did work for one friend lol #so mission success #anyways maybe someone here will enjoy it too who knows #the sounds btw are just michael jackson noises it was supposed to be a reference to that one voiced meme of the shit bunny crying #and then placating themselves by imagining them railing their fav #y'know #the shit bunny by @battleguitar on twitter #https://twitter.com/battleguitar/status/1622025684670631936 if you want to see the comic #i tried my best to find whoever voiced it but i think that post must be gone :( #i have it saved though as a reference so if anyone wants it i guess dm me haha #ACTUALLY HOLD UP I JUST FOUND IT NOW #https://twitter.com/coalbones/status/1622112973102669829 :000 #thank you for your service twitter user @coalbones

[mercurys-in-retrograde]

#i was gonna edit this to say sinnoh region bit i thought it would be funnier to leave it

[actual-lea]

CTRL+Z

#dragon's dogma 2 #my thought process literally went from 'ok great we made it now it's smooth sailing' to 'fuck fuck fuck it's falling out' #to 'oh. looney tunes.' #also shoutout to fart cat #and opposite of a shoutout to the griffin that absolutely would not leave me alone (that's why i kept looking at the sky lmao) #(removed the context because i think it's even funnier without)

[alfhildr-the-word-weaver]

I'll tell you one thing about the British though is they've got me saying "advert". We were flipping channels and came to the one with the Superb Owl and I was like "oh we could check out the adverts". It just came out, but to their credit, it does sound better than ads I think. For one thing I mean at least it isn't like completely indistinguishable from abs. I dunno, there's just a flow to it; it has a nice inflection. Advert. I knew I was reading too much Doctor Who fanfic the other day, lol. I've got to be the first person to call them the super bowl adverts.

#I know I'm probably not but it's funny to think I could be #I feel like my grammar is atrocious in this and I should edit it but also I think it's probably funnier #if I just leave it straight stream of consciousness as it came out #organic Tumblr posting #as it were #my rambling thoughts #actually my tag for that is #I ramble #Super Bowl #Superb Owl #adverts #speaking British #Britishly #lol #even in the tags i ramble #<- I hate how if I let tumblr complete the tag for me it uncapitalizes the I #anyways #funny linguistic things #I will give the British points for this one word