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angorwhosebabyisthis · 4 months

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i've been trying to work on getting more specific about criteria i set my boundaries around and adjacent--namely around actionable behaviors as opposed to just things that tend to be accompanied by them, like 'if you engage with me to argue whether a dynamic i consider to be abusive is actually abuse i will block you' instead of just 'if you don't think [X specific dynamic] is abuse DNI.' but man sometimes there are things that are context-specific enough that if you don't specify that particular instance people are unlikely to know what you're talking about.

('if you call pericles a nazi i will block you for holocaust denial, [short summary or link to explanation]' is a personal example that comes to mind. i can name the specific shitty trope--'The Nazis Were Gay is a homophobic myth and it is holocaust denial, cut it out'--but if someone hasn't already made that connection with pericles, they are..... probably not going to unless you lay it out yourself. and it will probably involve a Lot of Context when your DNI is really just not the place to stop for a thousand-word essay about the tropes and framing and character dynamics in a piece of media, even if it's something you're happy to infodump about elsewhere.)

('if [criteria relating to the All Germans are Nazis trope or nazis otherwise getting thrown in for bad guy shock value] i will block you' i think gets closer to the broader issue--because hoooly shit there is so much nastiness that inevitably comes with, once again usually holocaust denial--but i don't even know where i'd start with framing that. 'if you do/don't engage critically with [X]' is a nothingburger and it's worse than useless. but like, chances are VERY good that if your policy is not 'look real fucking hard at the presence of nazis in a piece of media, what it means relative to the other elements of the story, whether invoking them is appropriate or even relevant, and the author's intent in doing so' you are going to have takes i do not want to engage with and think are really shitty to spread.)

and there's also not much nuanced shorthand language around for things like 'if you have [opinion] and didn't realize why it might be shitty before seeing it pointed out, i'll be understanding of that, but if you're going to double down when it's laid out in front of you i will block you.' or, for that matter, 'if you make unsolicited comments about my abuse history while discussing fiction i will bite your fucking head off and post about it publicly on my blog, with url attached. if you don't want that then stay off my goddamn posts and mind your business.'

there's also a really important distinction, i think, between the contexts in which you're laying these boundaries. you can't expect every rando who reblogs a post of yours that got big to click through and read through every single boundary you have to make sure you won't block them, but if they're going to follow you it is much more relevant to them to know if they'll just get blocked (or decide they want to block you). and some person following you to occasionally reblog aesthetics or fanart from a distance is a different level of engagement than someone who might take part in meta discussions on your posts, or draw fanart of your AU, or get in contact with you outside of the platform where you met to make friends. it's reasonable to have different expectations for strangers on the street, people you run into at the coffee shop now and then, and people you invite over to your house.

like.... in general i feel like DNI is just not the right name for it, because that presents a binary that might not always fit. if someone has an opinion i'm bothered by and don't want to engage with directly, but will go 'oh, huh i didn't think of it like that' when seeing an explanation from the outside, that's not a 'never breathe in my direction again' offense to me. if anything i think most people are basically decent and would like to be decent, and it makes me happy to be able to provide someone with the perspective to make an informed choice for how to do that.

as it is you're just kind of boxed into the corner of FUCK OFF GTFO GO AWAY, which is even more unhelpful when it comes to communicating criteria where you Really Fucking Mean It, like 'if you think it's acceptable to tell someone to kill themself then fuck off, fuck all the way off, stay the hell away from me.' that 'gtfo or don't' binary takes away the capacity for that emphasis, and honestly also contributes to the extreme black-and-white toxicity of fandom and internet spaces in general this past decade or so. if 'didn't pick up on a subtle depiction of abuse at first and was kind of insensitive about it' and 'literal suicide baiting' are exactly the same degree of Bad, then either the suicide baiting seems trivial, or people are going to feel Attacked and like they must be a terrible person for any slightly imperfect good-faith thought or opinion they might have, or have just not thought through.

in the latter case, even if they end up going with the Other Opinion(tm) because feeling attacked put them off, fandom these days is a nightmare of systemic abuse which weaponizes that binary. seeing it replicated even from people who are trying to push back against it--even if it's because those people have been pushed into a corner and aggressive Get the Fuck Away from Me is, understandably, all they have left--just reinforces that there is no other model for this, that the abusive framework for how to navigate the world is all there is. i hate the idea of contributing to that, and i wish i weren't having to feel out the alternative by myself while already being so goddamn burned out on the whole thing.

and like.... i think 'boundaries' as a term is definitely getting warmer, but by itself doesn't quite communicate its nature as a Thing for the specific purposes of navigating socmed spaces. just. hm.

#whosebaby talks #i have a lot of thoughts about DNIs and i feel people on both sides of 'should they be a thing' discourse flatten out critical nuance here #don't get me started on 'lololol the [people you want to stay away from you] aren't gonna care about your DNI'#like yeah there are plenty of assholes out there who are shitheads about basic etiquette when you can't physically enforce boundaries #if you have a shitty roommate who tries to talk to you through the door while there's a sock on the doorknob #or constantly steals your food out of the fridge #it's not stupid or pointless to say 'don't knock on my door while i'm having sex' or 'don't eat all my food'; and expect that basic decency #because you can't literally padlock half the fucking fridge shut? or set up electric wire in a 5ft radius around your door when you fuck?#mayhaps we should not set the bar for basic interpersonal interaction and participation in society #at the level of what determined bad actors can logistically get away with?#just a thought! just a thought. anyway #the salt files #antis cw #abuse cw #suicide baiting cw #nazi mention cw #holocaust mention cw #i wish every day that the fuckin fandom had not made it necessary for me to mention the fucking holocaust in the context of scoo/by doo #but that's where we are i guess!#anyway #blog policy #long post #is there a name for that tag

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quietmonologues · 28 days

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So. I hate shipping discourse and I try to keep it off my blog nowadays. I also don't consider myself a part of the fandom. But, I find discussions about this series particularly engaging and interesting, and Elucien do have me in a bit of a chokehold these days so I feel the need to get this off my chest and put this out into the world.

A common question I see is "why do people ship Elucien? They don't even like each other". And to that, I say this:

What about it? This is why shipping discourse in this fandom (and in general) is so ridiculous, because why is there confusion as to why people ship Elain and Lucien together? SJM literally wrote them as a potential pairing, that's why she made them mates. Pairing = shipping. It's not rocket science.

Two characters not liking each other is never gonna be a deterrent for them becoming canon or for people liking them as a ship. That's why enemies to lovers is such a popular trope. However way you define enemies (on opposite sides of a war like Zuko and Katara, or thinking ill of one another based on misunderstandings and assumptions like Darcy and Elizabeth), when it's done well, the story of two characters changing their opinion about each other, getting to know each other on a deeper level, and growing to love each other after their initial discomfort/hatred/loathing/indifference is a compelling story. It's about the journey, the development, and overcoming all the hurdles and bumps that are in their way.

Another reason for why the "they dislike each other" argument is so weak is because you literally have two other canon couples in this same series who had very rough starts. No matter how you feel about these two pairings, it's blatantly clear that Rhys and Cassian did put Feyre and Nesta in uncomfortable situations and have hurt them (physically/emotionally). But clearly, that was not a deterrent for them getting together in the end. So why the heck are Lucien and Elain different? Why is "Elain is so uncomfortable around Lucien" a continuous argument? It's so hypocritical given the fact that Lucien is the only guy that isn't forcing himself upon his mate.

Also, I'm sorry but some people (me...I'm some people) are tired of the "dark, battle-born, winged-warrior brother" and "previously human, traumatized archeron sister" pairing. Elain and Lucien are both associated with nature, they're both social and like interacting with people, they both experienced a deep love previously, they both abhor violence, they are both overlooked by others yet have the ability to see what others can't. They are a compatible pairing to me because they share many characteristics that are harmonious and complementary. They are the anti-thesis of Night Court aesthetics and thought, and if they ever have a book together then I can only hope it's the best one in the series.

And yes, the "Elain needs sunshine" and "Lucien is the heir to the Day Court" connection is important, my goodness. That's what symbolism is!

Sometimes it's that simple.

Okay, that's enough shipping discourse from me.

#acotar #elucien #pro elucien #anti elriel #i guess?#to all my mutuals...i'm sorry but back in the day this blog was a book blog so maybe i'm going back to my roots!#and yes this was spurred by that post i say in the tags where op was wondering why people ship elucien...which was promptly deleted!#bookworm

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 months

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New rec: Choices book I actively avoided for years because the cover art gives "supernatural love triangle between the 'nice guy' & the 'bad boy'" and it's a trope I despise except turns out I'm an idiot because holy shit this was one of my favourite books

For one, the vampire lore is unique? Or at least uncommon enough that it feels like something new. It's even different from Choices' other vampire series

Second? Both LIs are wrong about their view on vampires and actually have to come to terms with this and learn to change and grow throughout the series. If anything, MC's the only one who's got it right. Both LIs have their own flaws & trauma while still being interesting and likeable characters and neither one is pushed above the other as being "the correct choice".

It also doesn't make the "bad boy" so antagonistic towards MC and the "nice guy" so sweet that it makes no sense for MC to pick the bad boy (*cough*choices' save the date*cough* my favourite is the antagonistic LI but also he's so hot & cold towards MC and a jerk to her for no real reason???). MC clicks with both of them in a different way and there's enough reason for MC to choose either one of them. It actually shows why MC needs both of them

Also, MC is initially built up in a way before they interact with the LIs so that all of their decisions throughout the story actually make sense. They're responsible but also insanely competitive. Despite staying in line presumably throughout their life, they're drawn towards anything that'll give them a shot of adrenaline

Plus all three characters get their time to shine and MC's a fucking badass, honestly they're up there with om's MC as being one of the more interesting & fun to play MCs

And MY favourite, absolute favorite thing about this, the main thing that shot this up to one of my favourite choices stories:

MC makes a Buffy reference in this. That means at one point they watched and/or read Buffy and/or Angel, saw her get together with first the tortured ""good guy"" and then later the rebellious ""bad boy"", saw all the love triangle discourse in the fandom and said well that's fucking stupid, watch me introduce them both to the concept of polyamory that's right it's NOT a fucking love triangle

or it can be if you want it to, like you can choose one of the two LIs but the "true" route, the one where you get a charm each from both LIs and complete MC's charm bracelet (usually the indicator of a fully completed story in any choices book is to complete a set of something) is the one where MC picks both of them

There are also frequent instances where the choices are [no romantic option at all] and [romantic option for both LIs eg: holding both their hands]

And yeah the LIs aren't in love with each other and spend a lot of time competing for MC, something they do right until the very end of the book BUT at about the midway point they become a proper team and start talking about the three of them as an inseparable team making it very clear that if this doesn't end with MC choosing both of them it's gonna turn into a me and you and your friend steve situation.

And then when either one of them talks about how much they care about MC they start using "we" and "our" [eg: "that's our girl/boy" when the two LIs are alone together]

And then they start being as protective of each other as they are of MC

Cas screaming "don't touch him" when Gabriel gets attacked + Gabriel throwing himself over and shielding both MC & Cas when they get attacked

I'm not saying they're in love or that they'll ever fall in love but they are much much more okay with sharing a partner with each other than either one is willing to admit

anyway, this is them:

#choices #choices immortal desires #immortal desires

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aqours · 6 months

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ok i REAAAAAALLY need to make a dedicated sideblog for this shit now i realize bc this game is gonna fucking fully get me dragged into this discourse so i'm gonna make an active effort to stop putting these on main, but i can't see myself saying more beyond this in general but ANYWAAAAYS

so i recently made this post about the cognitive dissonance regarding this game and people using fucking CALL OF DUTY a game that is more or less a recruitment drive to make the US military look cool and try to get kids to join up and that GTA's wanted system is actually NOT rewarding you or something to try to play a dick measuring contest with coffin but this interaction really interested me and i wanna talk about it bc i just blocked them after they refused to answer the last question but this is a very specific kind of gaslighting tactic i'm very familiar with from my own days as an anti

i think p much all of us who are used to engaging with this discourse are used to like y'know, being called awful horrible disgusting things. this is not the first time some fucking weird random person came onto my content asking me if i was a kid didler or wanted to fuck my brother. ain't gonna be anywhere near the last time either folks, but i and Lord God knows that's not the case so i don't care what a rando on the internet says but here's the thing: you can't "win" this, but they want to win it. no matter what you say you are the absolute worst kind of dreg of society that should be shot behind a barn and no amount of anything would work. if i actually pulled a list of sourced all that would have happened was they would've doubled down on calling me an inc*s*ious p*d* that I would be willing to use articles probably written by "people like me." because YOU don't care about "winning" this argument, you just wanna get the facts out on your end. it's a catch-22 folks, nothing you say will get you out of it!

i started by calling them a karen, they immediately escalated the living FUCK out of it and tried to trap me in this catch-22 to keep feeling morally superior to me. me saying i don't have such desires and never will isn't enough because i like this game. nothing but me renouncing it will change it.

but here's the thing about antis- they fucking HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE it when you turn it on them. look at the difference. look at the difference between they were the one throwing the catch-22 at me vs. the other way around. what about you? you just came onto my post to harass me, so i'll say it back. how about you? are you just accusing me of these horrible things because you are projecting your thoughts on me? you told me to get a therapist: so maybe you're the one that needs help if so!

violent video games must encourage violence, riiiiight? and you support it because it's violent. Game of Thrones had in*e*t in it so everyone who likes it also is the same. and Demon Slayer, where the pfp is from is violent, so you support it. the main protag's little sister also gets a superpowered form where she gets physically older and a tits out kinda look. so clearly YOU want to see your sister in the same way, right?

and it went as expected. you can see the tone going from smug jerking off with a shit-eating grin to just annoyed while smelling their own farts like it's a rose. and the moment i started doing the same uh i got NO fucking answers and they stormed off. i waited half an hour for a response before blocking them

so why am i typing up this walltext? because i used to be an anti. i fucking guarantee you i would've called everyone who liked this game [insert horrible things] like 7-9 years ago. so let me tell you, you know what pisses off antis more than anything? more than ANYTHING? turning this catch-22 bullshit on them. this is the only way you can end this miserable conversation without blocking them.

it's all one-sided bullshit and the moment you turn it on an anti it IMMEDIATLY shuts it down. this fucker KNEW the answer and you know it. so i wanted to share that, if you ever struggle with this shit: well the best thing you can do is block them and to give a fuck about winning their imaginary argument, but this is the only way to make the headache end otherwise. just throw the catch-22 right back and that's the end. thanks for reading!

#starposts #the coffin of andy and leyley #coffin of andy and leyley #proship #comship #long post #anti anti #discourse cw #ok i REALLY do want this shit off my main blog though i'm gonna start using a sideblog probably

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bcbdrums · 2 months

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I saw the Reddit drama. Please explain why Drakgo is a more interesting ship than KimRon.

first, thanks for the ask! second, whoaaaaaaa i wouldn't presume to label one ship more interesting than another. some people will find ships interesting, others won't.

i'll give a diff example. in my other current hyperfixation, soul eater, my friend adores Ship A while i'm all about Ship B. her ship IS interesting to me! i think those chars are the most shippable in the show, they're basically canon w/o PDA, and they are deeply complex both as individual chars and as a couple.

they're just... not the ones i'm hyperfixated on. doesn't make them uninteresting.

what makes a person's brain and heart grab onto one ship and not another? who can say.

a lack of personal interest in a ship does not make it objectively uninteresting, or worse... and a ship having way more attention than another in fandom doesn't objectively make that ship more interesting, or better.

CAN a person make canonical objective arguments for or against ships? certainly.

let's just grab characters from KP to use as example. Bonnie and Brick. canonically a couple for more than one episode! we do not get a lot of canon info onscreen for them, so most of the interest in them would have to come from fan creations. compare to Kim and Ron, who have infinitely more screentime together, infinitely more individual character development than Bonnie and Brick both as individuals and as a couple...

one could argue that Kim/Ron is more interesting than Brick/Bonnie. there's more to grab from the canon at least. but if a person wants to draw/write/talk at length about Brick/Bonnie? why not!

no reason to be hating on any ship. if it's not your ship, then just...don't engage?? especially if you're against said ship.

now me, personally, i find Drakgo more interesting than Kim/Ron. (altho recent convo with @creatorping got my Kim/Ron juices flowing again). Drakgo just appeal to me more as characters, with their gritty backgrounds, a lot more unknowns to explore, the challenge of two villains developing a mutual trusting relationship so they can have a happily ever after... that just grabs my mind and heart more than the perfect girl and her adorkable boyfriend. it doesn't mean Kim and Ron aren't interesting, cuz ohhhhh they are! mostly post-canon for me because...who ARE they, after high school?? who is Kim other than the student who saves the world? what's she gonna do with her life? and what is Ron gonna do? he absolutely can't go to the same college as her, and she can't ditch a good opportunity to go to a community college with him... my hang-up has always been that Kim wasn't given enough individual development onscreen to do anything interesting with her post-canon. but aforementioned convo with Ping changed my mind, heheh. 😏

in any case, the point... one ship isn't more or less interesting. one ship isn't better or worse than another. it's us, the viewer, who either will or won't be interested.

so as i've always said.... ship and let ship. don't like? don't interact. don't hate on someone else's ships or headcanons or POVs... (reddit...)

and, that's not the same thing as discourse. discussing characters, discussing points of view, interpretations... sharing various headcanons... with willing parties who want to enter into that conversation! THAT is a major part of fandom! but it's all in how one goes about it. and! should people come to disagree about interpretations of characters, also fine!

i think the issue arises when people start to act like... my interpretation is correct OR, my interpretation is the only valid one. when people get up on that horse, that's where the problems arise... it can be tough if you feel like you're the only person WITH a certain POV, but... again, if the folks you're chatting with aren't into it, then find other people. i'm in that boat with some soul eater headcanons, but, that's okay. i don't need to convince everyone else in the fandom in order rto enjoy my thoughts. i'll still talk about them, but, not with the idea of telling anyone my view is the only view. that's the antithesis of what fandom is about. i'll talk about them because i enjoy talking about them, to like-minded folk, and on my own blog which is what a blog is for.

and, idk why it shows up so often in the KP fandom, especially the Drakgo side, that people can't simply say "hey i have this headcanon!" and someone respond with "oh that's neat!" and just. happily co-exist. everyone creating their things, sharing their things. and people will like what they like, as they always have, in every fandom. and if they don't like someone's idea, that's fine too!

but it's not worth fighting about?? it never is! it's just not that important. it's fandom. it's fun. it's our escape. if one feels SO strongly against a concept, or ship, or whatever.... then you don't interact with it. you don't make it your mission to disprove the other person. you don't actively seek out opportunities to hate on a point of view you dislike. that's not how fandom is supposed to be. find your people, and chill with them.

let's all be positive in the various fandom spaces.

i hadn't intended that to be such a rant, but...well, there you have it. sorry it probably was not what you wanted to hear, but yeah. thanks again for the ask!!

#kim possible #drakgo #kim x ron #kimron #soul eater #drakken #shego #drakken x shego #ron stoppable #ask answer #bumping this up in queue for REASONS lol

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ghouljams · 3 months

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Bruh the fact that anon still sent that ask about C.AI even after you'd made your stance on AI perfectly clear? Wildly entitled behaviour in the askbox today omfg. It just saddens me so much that the ART of writing has been reduced down to nothing more than "content" people "deserve" to be given for free precisely when they want it. That people think they have a right to an author's ideas and thoughts and creations rather than simply appreciating how kind it is for someone to be sharing these things with us. I'm so sorry that you and many of the other creators on here have to put up with such horribly entitled people.

I don't want to keep harping on the ai discourse, but it's very disheartening to see this trend of using ai to replace artists. I think I've mentioned before but I tried using the c/ai thing for about 2 days before I started this blog and it was just not good. The ai can't contribute new ideas to a story, it can't remember what's already been said, it can't riff, I found no redeeming qualities to its abilities. All in all it left me going, "Fuck this I can do a better job just writing fic" when I hadn't written fic in 4 years.

I think there's an aspect of entitlement, but I think there's also an aspect of just... never having experienced the real thing. I view a lot of the c/ai shit as tiktok teens who have never role played before giving it a try with the worst possible partner. The people that really fight against the anti-ai crowd are people that just don't appreciate the effort that goes into art, and don't see art as anything but a consumable. It feels a lot like the 1984 "book machine" that just churned out slop for the mass market consumer and was run by people who didn't even read.

Idk I think being an anti-recast BJD collector, I see a lot of the same arguments for ai that I've heard about recasts and it always boils down to "well I want it now and my desires should come first" which just.... grow up. Interact with human people I am begging you.

Anyway this is all over the place, but yeah it's in my pinned now right up top that I hate ai. Please don't send me pro-ai asks I am just gonna start blocking.

#ghoul speaks #anti-ai #anti ai

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odusseus-xvi · 10 months

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If some of you want a bit of positivity, Both Baghera and Aypierre tweeted this morning about yesterday's situation : (I am not going back on twitter anytime soon, I'm not exagerrating, I went there for 5 minutes this morning and got nausea)

Baghera : I'm not putting the link to the tweet because most of you won't see it anyway, so I'm I'm just copypasting :

"Good morning

Just a quick reminder that QSMP community is an amazing community and that I’m having an amazing time and the majority of people are a big support -

Now lezgo to Paris to meet amazing creators"

Aypierre : Same, I'm gonna copy paste. Wanted also to add to those who didn't know he is reffering to some of his jokes that may have passed as offensive and started a second discourse (mostly the "Forever got arrested for dealing cocaine" joke at the beginning of the debate) He explains it a little but basically French humor and norms are very diferent than english and american ones, one of our (french) main form of humor is being incredibly crass and mocking absolutely everything and everyone (including ousrselves) (for example one of his main jokes on the smp is that he gives alcohol to two month old children and that it's completely normal and innocent in france, wich he knows is horrible but tragically the truth for a lot of families over here. Anyway here is the tweet in english (he actually wrote it first in Brazilian, then english, then french to be sure everyone understood)

"To QSMP's Brazilian viewers: sorry if some felt offended by the French jokes/trolls, it's just our sometimes offbeat humor - there's absolutely no hatred towards you or any other community/nationality. As I've always said, if any content creators have any concerns about this they can come straight to me, I know you can laugh at anything but not necessarily with everyone. I love the interactions I have with forever, pac & mike and all the other players and I don't want a "war" to break out between communities just because of little jokes. And of course I know Forever doesn't do cocaine, he's a minecraft streamer, not a roblox streamer lol"

Anyway, don't forget to love each other, this is what all of this is about.

#qsmp #qsmp baghera jones #qsmp aypierre

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thesoulshyperrealaslacreatura · 4 months

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Drakenier: Violence as expression and affirmation - Pt.1

It has become a rather well-known piece of trivia (or at least, well-known within the niche internet circles I flow through) that 2010's Nier Replicant / Gestalt had its overall message thoroughly inspired by well, 9/11 - the discourse that produced it, that came of it, and became it. Although it may not be a direct quote, "to kill someone, you don't have to be out of your mind, you just need to believe you are correct" is a sentiment clearly echoed throughout the game; as the many layers of its central and side conflicts drop alongside the curtains to its second, third (and maybe kind of fourth) playthrough, so does what had, for quite a ways into the game, seemed like a story mostly about finding, nurturing and protecting a community - people to call home.

However, the statement above seems to somewhat conceal-so-as-to-merely-hint-at what I'd argue is a much more complex argument the games lay forth, when looked at as one series. I, myself, have found it difficult in the past to distill both Replicant and the wider series as a whole into one coherent message or thematic frame; partly (and beautifully), because there mustn't be one - this singular reading which eclipses the broad range of experiences that people have come to share with the series - such an idea is preposterously reductive. Still, I think that this mish-mash of "the game is about philosophy and tragedy and nihilism and existentialism and society and humanity and life" and whatnot misses a bit of where the different themes intersect, producing further instances of meaning from the text. I hope to discuss the evolution (were I to sound even more pretentious, I might have used the word genealogy, but I would never stoop to that) of a few central concepts surrounding drakenier's "philosophy of violence" and where they seem to have informed or have been informed by other aspects of the works.

Strap in, because just from writing the introduction I can already tell this is gonna have to come in multiple parts. Hopefully my writing can steer away from boring you to tears throughout all of it.

Spoilers for the whole series!

Part 1: Replicant, and the subjective experience gained from that funky 9/11 fun fact

"Blood is sound, sound is words, and words are power"

This quote, almost a chant from Weiss as the player starts to grasp the gameplay loop of attacking enemies to allow for magical attacks, ties in the game's teaching of that system with what I consider to be the most powerful writing from Replicant (I'm going to refer to it as Replicant for the sake of convenience, obviously Gestalt is included in that). And it is deeply tied to what Taro himself has credited as a major source of inspiration for Replicant in relation to his previous game, Drakengard.

In some ways, Nier Replicant isn't introducing a new, foreign idea over the original Drakengard, so much as bringing out new elements from within its predecessors' critiques of the gaming landscape. Though that only really becomes clear by taking future foresights the series would reach into account; this is the point at which it becomes prudent to ask ourselves one question - how might the game's design regulate the player's interaction with the game world? (A question that, if you're at all even familiar with Drakengard, you probably already know the answer to)

From this, we can extrapolate a lot of meaning from how the original Drakengard was conceived: a game about violence, from the perspective of people who were so immersed in their own awfulness and the general precarity of their world that they cannot enact anything but that same violence. And it is that violence which comes to define them.

I'd also like to do the pedantic thing and bring up the fact that violence can be thought of as more than just physical harm, but also in terms of violation. In that sense, when I claim that Drakengard's characters are defined by violence, I mean it in that their reduction of other people to objects serves as an exertion of themselves - the Dynasty Warriors inspired combat of cleansing battlefields as the only win state reflects back at Caim as his only method of building an identity of his own, one based on strength demonstrated from conquering his enemies. You might find that these 'enemies' are violated the moment they're placed into the game as props that sustain its overall narrative.

In fact, this 'loss of personhood as self-affirmation' theme reverberates into another key factor of the game's story: pacts. They explicitly deprive humans of something of themselves - their ability to communicate, to see, to age, to have hair (sure????) -, and reduces both parties into one shared essence, yet it is what permits its characters to have strength through which they find themselves as able to inflict that dehumanization onto others. Dehumanization becomes their characterization, both from the audience's perspective as well as in-world.

Following that, Nier Replicant does not dispute that destruction of the other simultaneously inflicts upon the self both corruption and affirmation. If anything, it only takes measures to strengthen that sentiment, in light of how the added theme of perspective brings forth a need to now more closely study the subjective experience of perpetrating violence. Thus:

"Blood is sound, sound is words, and words are power"

The gameplay system I've anchored this analysis to comes into play; attacking your enemies gives you the literal strength to continue your offense, by design - ridding them of their life force, their blood, perpetuates the narrative, the words being built, the sealed verses of a prophecy you've set for yourself: that of being a hero to your sister/daughter, friends and general community. This even extends to the lyrics of Ashes of Dreams:

"Are we the plaything of fiends or merely the dreams that we're telling ourselves?"

Though we shouldn't forget that Weiss' comment takes the form of X=Y=Z=W, and it seems I've neglected the 'sound' part of the sentence. As I was writing this, my brain immediately made the association between that and Drakengard 3's focus on the power of Song, which, in fairness, definitely was made with the rest of the series in mind - but, in this instance, that sounds like a bit of a lucky coincidence. Still, what the concept of sound brings to the statement doesn't seem too far off from what meaning could be made at a bit more of a general, rudimentary level, that being: our lifeforce (blood) translates into our ability to be heard (sound), thus effectively giving us narratives about the world around us (words), which gives our actions direction, purpose (power).

From that, we can take a closer look into a lot of different aspects of the game. After all, the reason I proclaimed this piece of writing to be so powerful isn't really because I could - and did - stretch its interpretation to its fullest, but also from the way it manifests itself around the struggles of various characters, while being tied to the game's overall systems and world. Emil receding into his identity as a weapon in order to redirect what he sees as his curse onto those who seek to harm his friends - leading to his sacrifice; Weiss, who also goes on to sacrifice himself, does so in the name of putting an end to this now 5-year mission, grown into his own center of existence; Louise, perhaps reacting to the world around her, saw humanity as something to claim from others, and faced erasure upon perceiving herself as incapable of acquiring it. For better or for worse, the moral codes characters create from their own intentions of living become rigid scripts to follow as self-fulfilling prophecies of their own identities.

We can see that, ultimately, characters across both games tend to follow journeys with a general structure of: bleak circumstances > feeling of powerlessness > violence as a misguided means of reclaiming the power to define oneself > entrenchment in violence becomes overbearing, coming to annihilate the very self which sought to instigate it. From the first Drakengard to the first Nier, this hasn't changed a bit. What changed is a distinct awareness in how the self, or what we might call "us" stands in conflict with the generalized other, "them", and where it uses morality as a catalyst for smoothing out the uncomfortable edges of that conflict.

In fact, the annihilation of the self as, paradoxically, an act of self-affirmation is the very core of ending D for Replicant. And this is, partly, where the inciting 9/11 quote comes into play - given our newfound empathetic understanding of where violence comes from, how do we process it? How do we make sense of it? From the way the world is established, the very act of surviving, for both replicants and gestalts, is somewhat tainted as immoral, and predicated on the erasure of an 'other'. It leaves room for later material to find itself more at ease with this question (and those circle back nicely to ending E from the new version, as well). For now, most of what the game feels comfortable in concluding comes from Kainé, who stands in contrast with most characters by fully rejecting the notion of being a moral agent throughout the entire story, yet the game still offers us the chance to save her - it, mirroring the protagonist, relentlessly believes in her. Not even that "she can be better", whatever better might mean, just that "she can be".

And obviously, finally, we can extrapolate plenty of social commentary from this. Playing off of the thematic material introduced in Automata, we could argue that Replicant's plot is, in retrospect, about slowly building up to the depiction of a certain "Death of God" - which, in nietzschean terms, is not merely society straying from religiosity, but represents an irreparable shattering in the very idea of a centralizing narrative that everyone could subscribe to and fit within. So ends humanity, not just as a species, but as a concept; no longer are people able to identify themselves as containing some unified essence of 'humanity', recognizing the other as a complete self in its own right, as they retreat into the violence that was inflicted against them, which they inflict back at the world - to have your totality reduced to a role in a play that the winner gets to write. And in that sense, I'd argue it captures specific facets of a post-9/11 climate pretty well.

Anyway, gonna make a separate post that's just about Drakengard 3, and then one that's just about Automata, but at a later time!

also, this thesis becomes more relevant when the time comes to analyze automata, but it was still helpful in having me think through the previous games, so I'll drop it here as a reference for now, and will mention it more loudly once we come to specific sections later (not about to be the next target for hbomberguy lmao): http://dspace.library.uvic.ca/handle/1828/14525

Cool that there are people writing about it!! Thank you Xinlyu Tan, the goat!!! Would love to go through more material, but I'm writing this for fun on the side... hope anyone reading this has enough fun with it to go looking for more on their own, go extend the discussion further, blah blah blah. Also hope that I make any sort of vaguely coherent point. And, lastly, I hope you enjoy yourself!

#drag on dragoon #drakengard #drakengard 3 #drakenier #nier series #nier #nier automata #nier replicant #nier gestalt #drakenier analysis

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elenajohansenreads · 1 year

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i had new thoughts about the validity of DNF book reviews and i want to share them

Something a friend said reminded me of A Book Review Incident I was involved in a while back, wherein a DNF review I wrote made some people angry both for a) not finishing the work, and b) what I had to say about the part I did read.

I'm not going to dredge up the review itself or name the book, that's not important. But thinking about it again while doing dishes (dish-thoughts is the new shower-thoughts) made me realize there's distinction between types of review and the expectations people have for them, and thus why some people absolutely cannot stand DNF reviews.

How I see it now, the problem is the gap between two styles of book review:

An analysis and examination of the work itself on its own merits;

A review of the experience the reader had reading the book.

For the sake of brevity, let's call these the "scholarly" and "product" reviews.

Back when I was a college student, even when I was not formally tasked with a book "review," I was expected to read the assigned material fully and engage with all of its content, in order to discuss it in class, or use it as a basis for a paper, or whatever else the class required. I could not not finish the reading and present my frustration with it as a valid form of participation for grading purposes. (I tried that once with a particularly difficult book in a particularly annoying class, and to no one's surprise, it did not go well.) This is what I mean by the scholarly review type: DNF reviews are unacceptable.

Product book reviews, on the other hand, are functionally like the review of any other product. I recently bought a handheld vacuum, and I read the reviews of several models before I chose one. I looked to see how many one-star reviews there were, and judged the reasonableness of the complaints. If Vacuum A was prone to weak suction or didn't charge quickly, while Vacuum B had attachments that were hard to fit to the nozzle, I wanted to know these things in order to make my decision. Likewise, if many readers of a certain book I might be interested in didn't like it, I want to know why, and DNF reviews are perfectly valid in this case, because not wanting to finish the book is a true experience the reviewer had, that gives me information about my possible enjoyment of that book.

To be honest, many reviews are some of both. I know I write both kinds, either on their own or combined, depending on the book. Most reviews I read are both types combined as well, generally weighted more towards product than scholarly, but still with aspects of each.

My galaxy-brain moment came when I realized that DNF-review haters want scholarly reviews when they're actually getting product reviews.

No, if I didn't finish the book, I can't credibly talk with someone about the full plot, its themes, the deeper meanings. I don't possess that information. But yes, my experience of not finishing the book is still potentially valuable to someone else who might be saved the trouble of reading it themselves because my review pointed out some poor qualities of the work, or potential unmarked triggers about sensitive subject matter, etc etc.

I don't expect to change anyone's mind with this or significantly alter the state of book review discourse--for the most part, people don't even interact with book reviews much, it's rare for me to get more than a few likes, barely ever a single comment or reply, and The DNF Review Incident only happened that once, quite memorably.

Also, I'd have to be posting reviews, which I'm not, again. I am still reading. I may start writing reviews at some point.

But I had these thoughts, and the way my brain works, they required expressing, and I decided to do it here in case my realization helped someone else understand (possibly) why the haters gonna hate.

#booklr #book reviewing

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triple-a-aro · 2 months

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thanks for turning on anon asks!! i dont want to get this linked back to my actual account where i try to keep things pretty discourse-free. what i wanted to say is that i really get where yr coming from with the falling into transmasc vs transfem thing??? i find myself going oh no thats a trans woman so shes not gonna like me a lot and then i feel really guilty abt it so its good to know that other transandro bloggers are aware of that whole thing. how do you keep yrself from falling into those thinking patterns?

No problem at all, anon! I understand that this can be a topic that you don't necessarily want. attention. on you. Perfectly valid to keep yourself safe.

This touches on something that I've been realizing more often for myself, though! When you are educating yourself on topics such as transandrophobia, the loud and vocal minority of transandrophobes are likely to speak up in comments and replies of posts doing so, which makes it seem like they're everywhere. Much like vocal transphobes, we must remember that this is a minority; most people may not have even heard of transandrophobia, but I'm sure they'd agree that "trans men experience oppression for being trans men that other trans people don't experience". Because that's common sense.

The other reason I find myself falling into that pattern is the centering of trans women in these transandrophobia discussions. A lot of it ends up with people arguing if transmisogyny is worse or not, and I think that misses the entire point. But if you see these transandrophobes going on and on about trans women having it worse (and some of those people being trans women themselves who are lashing out for whichever reason), you're going to start connecting transandrophobia and trans women.

Which sucks. It really fucking does. The brain is equipped to notice patterns, and it's going to emphasize in accordance to how transandrophobes emphasize.

So how do I personally stop this from happening?

I follow trans women. Feels like a no-brainer, right? But recently I realized I was not following any trans education that was run by trans women, mostly because I had been scared of researching into the blogs themselves in case I found bigotry towards trans men, and I am not in the business of digital self-harm. If anyone has any good blogs feel free to drop them here, and I'll reblog!

If I feel myself getting incensed, I step back If you find yourself getting really mad, step back and ask yourself: - Where is this anger coming from? (At transphobia or has it been construed somehow?) - Where is this anger directed? (At transandrophobes, or at trans women?) - Who has posted this? (TERF psyops do exist, and if a blog is posting inflammatory content, they might be baiting you) - Is this user in the same circle as other transandrophobes? (There was a ring of particularly nasty transandrophobes that I blocked for mocking trans men and suggesting corrective sexual assault, and I have not found as many since)

Go to irl queer spaces. While this is not going to be a solution for everyone, I find stepping offline and talking to irl trans women is beneficial. Make friends with trans people! This discourse is so terminally online, and the only reason I participate in it is because I do what I can irl and therefore my only contribution is not arguing over discourse.

I also interact with other trans men who are normal about trans women as well. I hope this helps! Media literacy is good to practice, and I'm proud of you for owning up to something very hard, anon.

If we have any other suggestions, pop 'em down in the replies or reblogs!

#ask #anon #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #<- because the constant martyring of trans women the way that transandrophobes do it is. exactly that #transphobia

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nothorses · 7 months

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About your post about Educating People, it also means you have to give clear examples of how privilege, bigotry, and stereotypes actually work, because you can't be morally uppity that ignorant people can't fully grasp it.

So much online discourse makes me exhausted, because I see a post on my dashboard, and then immediately several posts talking about why that post is problematic, often without clear explanations.

Ironically, it was Writing With Color, a blog listing a bunch of stereotypes and actually engaging in discussion about the historical roots of why they exist, that helped me dismantle my racism, antiblackness, and sexism. I'm not white by the way! Far from it. But Writing with Color helped so much more in me understanding fandom racism than something like End OTW racism that seeks to moderate the fics of a goddamn archive, lmao.

I feel so many people assign a Moral Factor or Threshold you have to meet before you get to call yourself anti-ableist, anti-racist, a feminist, etcetera. And these same people often say, "Unlearning systemic oppression is a lifelong journey so just shut up and learn and stop your white fragility." (A valid point! But when someone makes a mistake that's likely stemming from extremely subconscious belief, they say, "Are you really an anti-racist, etcetera." )

I'm just tired of the guilt tripping, the gatekeeping. Leftism is being learned through scrambled social media condemning certain behaviors without connecting to the larger movement, and people are angry when others make the resulting mistakes. There is barely any kindness, lmao, or real education.

Yes, exactly!

Education is necessarily about community. In order to effectively educate people, you have to understand what and how they need to learn; where they're starting from, what the next steps might be, and how to engage them in that process.

You need to help them avoid shutting down, either because they feel overwhelmed or don't know where to start, or because they feel guilty and ashamed, or like they can't trust their teachers and mentors enough that they're able to open themselves up, ask for the help and clarity they need, and put their time and energy into the learning process for and with them.

Learning involves a lot of vulnerability! You're admitting things you don't know, you're asking for help, and you're trusting someone else to guide you in something you can't navigate alone.

Educating is difficult and taxing, and educators take on a lot of risk and harm in the process, too. But if we can't honor the vulnerability we're being trusted with, and we can't value the learning process, we're not going to be able to educate at all.

And if we want to see our values, knowledge, skills, and wisdom reflected in our communities, we need to engage in this process. We need to educate, and we need to learn.

And that's gonna take a lot of work, vulnerability, and trust that a lot of us, being very often traumatized people, are going to struggle with- which means it's that much more crucial that we share our progress by supporting others in making it as well. We need to trust people, forgive their mistakes, and initiate positive learning interactions ourselves. We need to show our communities patience and compassion, and we need to do it even (and especially) when it's not given to us first.

Change doesn't happen passively, and you can't destroy your way into creating something better.

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sammy--moh · 8 months

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A random ramble about my identity, modern queer community and queer history bc I'm hyperfixated

(I don't want slur discourse under my post. I reclaim words that have been directly used to oppress me only and only towards myself, that's where the conversation ends)

(Cis/Hets don't touch this post

Terfs especially don't even look at this post

Anti kink fuckers don't look at this post, kink and LGBT are separate things but you cannot untangle kink history from queer/LGBT history

If your against the use of the word queer, don't clown on this post

Queer cis people are free to interact and add their opinions but don't clown on this post

Trans people and queer punks and activists please interact <3

Any corrections are welcomed as long as their constructive)

So you could probably find a few posts of me talking about some of my more modern and neo/xeno identity labels, its something I'm fairly proud of I'm a neo pronoun user and have been out as a nonbinary man for a long time

But I don't think I talk about my more, I guess classical and older queer labels and that feels disingenuous because I do still love queer history and have a lot of what would be considered ""outdated"" identieies

Yeah I'm a neo user and have some xeno gender labels, and I'm T4T which as far as I know is a label thats been around a long time but its still common and normally used today

But im also just a gender nonconformist(sometimes i use and reclaim the words transexual and transvestite just to piss off cis people who say i cant), i unapolgetically reclaim the word f4g, im in the leather community, I'm a fem man, im a cub, all things that have been around maybe since the 60s - 70s that I/still/ find connection to, comfort and community in

I mean hell I usually consider myself to currently be in a masc 4 fem relationship which you'd probably never guess by just looking at me

Which is another thing! Why is it always assumed that cubs and bears are the mascs?? I think I have more traditionally feminine clothing and presentation then most of my twink friends, I am a big, fat, extroverted, hairy cub and I am still the fem in one of my relationships and very feminine and fem presenting in general

Obviously masc 4 fem is not the only kind of mlm and wlm relationship that's stupid sndnd and expecting it is heteronormative, some people are masc 4 masc,fem 4 fem, heck not everyone /likes/ traditional masc fem labels and that's awesome!

Another thing I don't see a lot of people talk about is the fact that the bear and cub community is objectively a body positivity movement, that's what it started as that's what it always will be

Bear culture was a reaction to the beauty standards of gay culture at the time, when the ideal in gay relationships were young, thin, conventionally attractive gay and bi/multisexual men

Bear culture was specifically made to appreciate, lift up, and love large, hairy,sometimes older gay and bi/multsexual men and cub culture branched off from bears

I'm gonna be honest, I am recovering from a few body image issues and disorders that I wont go in depth on, and bear + cub culture has helped me to love myself and my body and find myself attractive more than any other body positivity space! Not to say other body positvity spaces arent important and needed, but that as a queer trans man this one has been the space I felt the most welcomed in

I wish there were a few expectations we could leave behind, like the idea that bears and cubs only date other bears and cubs, that terms like bear, twink, otter, leather gay, ect are gay exclusive and not just mlm and nwlnw terms, that fem and masc culture are gay and lesbian exclusive (dont come at me there are several moments in history we see these terms used by bi and generally queer men and that show masc and fem culture in bi and generally queer spaces)

I wish I could find more people like me in history, trans men who weren't masc, transmen and transmascs that were unapologetically feminine, I want to find transman queens in history, trans gay and mlm men, it's hard to find.. but I'm almost positive there has to be at least some people like me in queer history

But in general there's so much we can learn and keep from older queer culture that I feel has been lost a lot with younger generations

I love modern queer culture and neo/xeno labels and communities ans MOGAI and the breakdown of gender norms and sexual expectations

But im also unapolgetically a fem, leather loving, kinkster, trans fucking, fat cub, cross dressing faggot

All of these things are me

You cannot untangle or separate these identieies and labels from /me/

There are riots and loss in my history, and there is raw, unapolgetic queer beauty as well. there is pride in my veins, and fight in my lungs, and I wouldn't trade any of it for shit

#queer #lgbtqia #queer activism #transgender #trans activism #slur reclamation #queer history #gay history #lgbt history #mogai identity #gay cub #queer pride #gay pride #multisexual #mlm #t4t #long post #queer punk

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mrsbsmooth · 7 months

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going back in time with this ask bc i feel like s3 doesn't get talked about as much as the others (even though i am enjoying the discourse about the new seasons). feel free to answer all or just pick your faves!

• best aspect of s3?

• worst aspect of s3?

• li who needs more love?

• character who you want to like but just can't?

• thoughts on the yacht trip spinoff/whatchamacallit?

• favorite quote/line/interaction (that you can remember)?

• how many times have you replayed it?

• whose routes have you done?

FINALLY SOMEONE ASKS ME ABOUT S3 I actually LOVED IT!!!!!! So thank you so much for the ask!!!!

• best aspect of s3?

The art style. I love it. MC is so cute, her outfits are incredible, I know it's Disney-esque but I hugely prefer it to S4/5!

• worst aspect of s3?

The lack of Drama. Bleugh.

• li who needs more love?

Anyone who has ever come near me with even a sniff of Season 3 knows my answer to this. Ciaran. Ciaran Ciaran Ciaran. If you give him a chance he is the sweetest, most loyal, most wonderful LI, he's so fucking cute, and he's really open and honest. I didn't write 100k+ words about the guy for nothing.

• character who you want to like but just can't?

I would say Harry, but I don't want to like him. He's a whiny child. So I'm gonna say.... Rafi. I was already hardcore sold on all my LIs by the time he came in, and he's such a lovely wonderful guy, but I can't help but get annoyed at him for how hard he grafts.

• thoughts on the yacht trip spinoff/whatchamacallit?

I hate that I fought with my LI. But it had Kerry in it so I actually love it.

• favorite quote/line/interaction (that you can remember)?

the fight. the fight between your original LI and the new one who steals you. I pretty much always did Bill's route, and if you tell him you want to be with him, he tells Ciaran/Tai 'We were really starting something really special!', but- BUT- If you've been moving/pulling away from him for the new people, he says the saddest thing ever:

'I already felt like I was losing her. I just wanted one more chance with her'.

Idk why but that absolutely BROKE me the first time I played through. I'd gone in hard on Tai and I had to replay it arrhhhhh sobbing.

• how many times have you replayed it?

All the way through? Probably 9 or 10 times?

• whose routes have you done?

Most of them are just Ciaran playthroughs because I miss him, but I've gone all the way through with Camilo, Bill, and Tai as well. I tried doing a Yas route but she's annoying.

#THANK YOU SO MUCH #BEST ASK #litg s3

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gaygoetia · 15 days

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Initial thoughts on the Fallout TV show:

- I really enjoyed the show overall. The pacing, story and tone is great and it was so fun seeing all the various background details and references to the games. They really outside themselves with the sets, costumes, props and overall art design. And the music!!! So fun recognising the songs from the games. And the twist was great!

- Lucy is a sweet cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. I adore her. I also love that she's stuck to her morals even after everything she's been through.

- I really like Cooper (I'm a sucker for an anti-hero) and enjoy the big contrast between his pre-war and current personality. Also I love that he proves that ghouls can be hot.

- I had very mixed feelings about Max at the start of the show but I really like how he's grown and developed thanks to Lucy's influence. I also feel instinctively protective over him cos I just know the fandom is gonna be racist and shitty about him.

- On a related note, the shipping discourse with this show is gonna be a disaster. Can't wait to see takes such as "Cooper/Lucy is problematic because of the 200 year age gap" and "Max doesn't deserve Lucy because he lied to her, instead she should be with Cooper (despite him being a cannibal and serial murderer who literally tortured her and almost killed her multiple times), this makes perfect sense."

- To be clear, I actually like both Lucy/Cooper and Lucy/Max as ships! (though not as much as I like Lucy/Literally Any Woman), they're just prime material for stupid shipping wars and I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

- This show is really good but is in desperate need of more girls and gays (I need Lucy to have female companion/romance options lol) Barb, Moldaver, Steph and Betty were great but they were 1. All kinda-antagonists (who were only ever seen from other character's POV's) 2. Did not interact with each other. The gender imbalance is especially stark when you consider there are almost twice as many men in the main cast list as there are women.

#fallout #fallout tv #fallout tv show #my posts

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llynwen · 26 days

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hi you're European right? I'm curious to know your thoughts about how the American south is portrayed in true detective bc I've been there and yes it's exactly like that but even moreso. Haunted ass beautiful country

Thank You So Much for such an interesting ask!

In the case of many europeans who were born before the Internet was such a big thing, we mostly learned about the us from films and shows. my childhood experience was watching reruns of spaghetti westerns and early 2000s rom coms, family comedies and kids movies, and feeling that the technicolor reality of america was somehow so much better than the Gray of eastern europe. the discrepancy isn't as noticeable now as it used to be when i was a kid, but you could Smell the post-sovietness some days. the life i saw in the movies was anything But the bleak, overwhelming reality of the early 2000s in my country that just made you feel nauseous and gave you a migraine. like i remember being Shocked at the technology of CDs and MP3 players. it was 2007.

the consensus was always that america was somewhere where everything was better. bigger. brighter. america was where you went to be happy. where you could breathe.

then, as i grew up, i obviously realized that this was a load of bullshit. i don't remember when the shift took place, but sometime in my teenage years, i suppose. by that time, my english has gotten good enough to actually participate in social media (that are predominantly american, like tumblr for example. i've been here for a decade) and actually engage in discourse. to learn about the Real america and what life looked like for the average person. and it wasn't great. guns, systemic oppression, privatized healthcare, the capitalist rot. none of that was present in the movies of my childhood.

now, in true detective, the south reminds me so much of how eastern europe felt in my childhood. it's nowhere near similar to it visually, the nature and architecture and people are all different, but it is Stifling, Suffocating, like the sky is gonna come down on your head. the ash and aluminum line actually describes it so good. what i was most surprised by, though, was the people. starting from marty (let's not focus on rusty here as we can all agree he doesn't really belong with the rest of the characters), he is a perfect example of the average family man. i love his character Because he's a shit and a cringeass loser, but in the scenes of him interacting with his daughters in '02, the feeling that he evokes in me is Disgust. and i feel like that's a common archetype of the father-provider that thinks his role in the house ends with making money. he sits in his chair, makes everybody miserable with his very presence, and expects the food to be brought to him. that man has never scrubbed a toilet in his life. i know men like him. i've met them, talked to them. i'm related to them. they're everywhere. that disgust feels intimate. now, the other characters that surprised me were the side characters, the people rust and marty go to question. tyrone's mother, the prostitutes, dora's friend at the scrap yard - they remind me of my people. now, i really don't want to come off as classist or some shit like that - but in both the show And my reality, the divide between the working class and the educated crowd is Stark. that is not to say that one is better than the other (i firmly believe that a lack of education can make you happier, if you think about it. content with a simple life, happy to work in a mine your whole life, live in a wielka płyta apartment and go to the sea once a year. if that. this is very specific to my region, sorry). the way those side characters talk, behave, even look - that is Nothing like the movies. they're not the flashy main characters, they're imperfect in every sense - they Look like people, have flaws, crooked teeth, they don't dress like supermodels, they can be stupid, they drink and smoke and cheat and lie. they're Human, not movie protagonists. and i love that reality in the show. makes it feel that much more authentic.

i don't know how specific that is to the south; are the people like that in other places? are the fishermen in luisiana the same as in minessota? is the suffocating feeling specific to the iberia parish, or is that just how it is in small town america? i dont know. the problem is, i wanna find out.

see, i never lost that childhood wonder. call me naive, but i still wanna Go. i still want to see the american dream with my own two eyes, even if it means i'm gonna watch it shatter in real time. i graduate college in a little over a year with a masters degree, and for right now my plan is to find a way to go work at a ranch in montana or wyoming. that's all i want. my favorite thing about america is not the culture, not the people, not the Possibility, but the Space. ironically, the stolen land is what compels me most. i want to experience that open space, to Breathe, and for the first time in my life feel my lungs filling up fully. i will be disappointed, full stop, but i want to have that experience.

the american south is a fascinating place to me, always has. the specific mix of cultures, the tradition and lack of it, even the bigotry and hate, it's all endlessly interesting. as you said, haunted but oh so beautiful. it scares the shit out of me. i need to go and feel it bite me.

#sorry for going off like that lmao #but yeah. thats them thoughts #if you wanna talk about it more PLEASE LEAVE ME ANOTHER ASK/RESPOND TO THIS/DM ME #thank you again for this ask #love you mwah mwah mwah #ask #true detective

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