#and its my first weekend in a while where i actually have sunday off and i wanted to do things with my family and ive just been stuck in a

[gongedtornado]

.

#im so fucking hungry im moody im irritated im in pain im almost 100% certain im about to start that time of the month and all i wanna do is- #eat and go to sleep or maybe go out and do things but noooo #im so understimulated and hrbrggrr #its too warm in here i wanna blow up #everything is irritating the piss out of me rhhghghrh #im sure a good meal will resolve it all but >:( #uuuughhhh #and its my first weekend in a while where i actually have sunday off and i wanted to do things with my family and ive just been stuck in a #car for awhile and im getting agitated as all fuck #im probably just hungry or hormonal as all fuck. or maybe its the fact i forgot to take my meds last night but rgghrrghhggr #BARK BARK BARK BARK #/neg #kazzy complains #yeah no im just stupidly moody today.

[call-me-strega]

How to Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps: part 2 (chapter 1/?)

Here is part 1, lore

Edit: ao3 link now here

They do go to a library in this chapter so there are a lot of references to books in this chapter. I've read some but not all of them so I can say anything about their quality more than as things that I thought sounded interesting in theory. A lot of the stuff at the library was inspired by my own experiences with public libraries.

~~~

Step 2: Get to know them

Within the next 4 months Jason ran into Danny several more times. Each time becoming more and more enamored with the young man. It was hard not to when he saw how kind and hard-working he was.

~

The first time he ran into Danny after their first meeting he actually ran into Ellie first. Well, technically she ran into him but that's beside the point. But if you were gonna get technical about it he heard her little giggles before he saw her.

He had been at the library during some of his downtime to peruse some books and relax. The life of a vigilante crime lord isn't a very peaceful one, go figure. That's why Jason liked taking some time to himself every once in a while whether it was to have tea with Alfred, hang with one of his friends or siblings, or in this case visit Gotham Public Library.

Sure he could've gone to the Manor Library or gotten something online but the Manor was pretty far from the Alley and preferred having physical copies of his books rather than a computer or tablet. Electronics just didn't have that nostalgic book smell or the soft touch of a well-loved page.

Going to the library also came with its own perks. For one, he got to visit Barbie at work. It was always nice to see her as they had this unspoken solidarity between them. The atmosphere was also a plus. There was just something special about being able to be completely solitary yet still have this special connection to the other patrons. Seeing the old man enjoying a novel with his wife, the book club that met on Sundays, the haggard office worker winding down on the weekend with a graphic novel, the young woman teaching herself sign language, the teens goofing off while they were supposed to be studying, a mom reading The Kissing Hand to her kids, all of the various people here for various reasons; all of it made Jason feel like he was a part of something bigger.

He was currently browsing a display of LGBT+ books for young adults that the library had put up for Pride Month. '"Cemetery Boys", "Aristotle and Dante", "You Should See Me in a Crown", "Six of Crows", "Boyfriend Material", "Red, White, and Royal Blue", "Carry On", Oh- "The Song of Achilles" that sounds interesting?'

That’s when he felt a small chill pass behind him. He initially dismissed it as a draft from the air conditioner, but soon after he heard the sound of excited giggles nearby. He didn't think too much of it assuming it was another kid on their way out of the children's section. However, something niggled in the back of his head that this particular giggle was one he was familiar with.

That's when he felt something collide with his leg. He looked down to see a small child with a head of glossy black hair in a red beanie glomping his leg. Suddenly, the child looked up and beamed at him. Jason's eyes lit up with recognition and he laughed.

" Hey there munchkin, how are you?"

Ellie continued to smile, releasing her hold on his leg.

" I'm doing really good Mr. Jason! Daddy told me he didn't have any work today and he said we could go anywhere we wanted! First, we went to the bodega a got these really big breakfast sandwiches! Like really really big! Like the size of my face and we shared! And then Daddy took me to the park and it was really fun! I saw a squirrel there but it ran away before I could pet it! And then we came here and Daddy said we'd make me a library card so I could get whichever books I wanted. He read Oh The Places You Will Go and Where the Wild Things Are to me and then they were gonna have story time and Daddy looked tired from the park so I told him to read one of his space books and rest while I went to story time like a big girl! When story time was over I looked around and saw you so I came over to say hi and thank you for the cookies and food because daddy says we should always say thank you when people give us gifts!"

Damn, the girl sure had one hell of a motor mouth on her. It seemed she and Danny were in the middle of a father-daughter day. It brought a smile to his face to see that she was well taken care of, but based on her very informative rambles, it seemed they were taking care of each other.

" Why don't we go say hi to your dad, huh Elle?"

The young girl gasped, "That's a great idea! Then Daddy can say thank you too! And then you can read with us and come to our house for dinner! Daddy kept saying how he wanted to make something for you too since you made us the-, the- uuh... luz-on-ya and cookies!"

" Whoa there munchkin, how about we just start with hi?"

Ellie nodded with a determined look on her face, she wrapped her little hand around his pointer finger and pulled him along to the semi-secluded corner of the children's section. Sitting there in an armchair next to a small pile of books was Danny, who seemed to be out cold, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy slipping from his fingers.

'Aah he must be tired from moving in and probably from working too' Jason thought to himself. A smaller voice in the back of his chimed in with its own two cents. ' He still made time for her. He took her out and is spending the whole day with her even though he's tired. He's a good dad.' That's when he made up his mind not to disrupt Danny's nap and let him get some rest before he had to tackle the rest of his father-daughter day with his hyperactive six-year-old. He placed a hand on Ellie's shoulder, stopping her as she was about to shake Danny awake, and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

" It looks like you were right about your dad being tired. How about we let him rest for now and I'll say hi another time? Besides I wouldn't want to interrupt your daddy-daughter day now would I?" He started to guide her to a different portion of the library quickly forming a plan, "Hows' bout we do something I think you'll like? Did you know sometimes they bring puppies and kitties into the library?"

The young girl gasped, " REALLY!"

" Yeah, sometimes puppies and kitties can help people who are feeling sad or nervous feel better. They also help teach kids how to act nicely and quietly so that they don't scare animals by letting them read to a puppy or kitty. I can help you sign up to read to a puppy or kitty today if you want? Then afterward, you can go tell your dad and he'll be really proud of you."

The young girl seemed so excited by the prospect that Jason worried for a second that she might explode.

" That's a great idea Mr. Jason! He'll be so proud of me and he'll bring me again! And I'll get so good at not scaring animals that the squirrels in the park will let me pet them! Then, Daddy will be so impressed that he'll let us get our own puppy and Cujo can come live with us!"

Jason winced, perhaps his plan had been a tad too effective. Single parents had a hard enough time keep themselves afloat while looking after their kids, a pet was extra expenses and another commitment to devote time and effort to. Pets were usually out of budget and out of question for anyone living in or near the Alley.

Well, he'd cross that bridge if he ever got to it. For now, he focused on getting Ellie signed up to read to Charlie, the old St. Bernard that was at the library this today. He and the trainer, he squinted reading her name tag, Amanda, supervised the session. Jason would be lying if he wasn't endeared by the sight of a young girl reading Dragons Love Tacos very enthusiastically to a dog nearly twice her size.

" It's nice to see a young father spending time with his daughter."

'I agree' Jason thought before realizing Amanda thought he was Ellie's dad.

" Oh- ah no I'm her -," Jason quickly made up his mind on the least creepy excuse he could find, " -babysitter. Although, her father does make a lot of effort spend time with her."

The dog trainer flushed and apologized for her mistake but Jason waved her off saying it was no big deal. Silently, he wondered how often Danny got time to himself. When he realized what he was thinking he raised an eyebrow at himself before dismissing it as worry for a young parent and wondering how he divided his time to be able to take such good care of his daughter.

Ellie was saying her final goodbyes to Charlie when he got a text from Alfred reminding him he had promised to meet him for tea and some chitchat. Once Ellie returned to his side he let her know that he had had fun seeing her today but that he had to go spend some time with his granddad and that he'd have to say hi to her dad another time. She accepted this with a surprising amount of maturity for a 6-year-old but made him pinky-promise that he'd definitely spend some time with the both of them next time they saw each other. Jason happily accepted and sent her back off to her dad before heading over to the tea shop he and Alfred liked to meet at.

" It is so nice to see you again Master Jason. I'm happy to see arrive in one piece. Usually when you are delayed it is due to some rather -ah, unfortunate hold-ups," Alfred greeted him. He returned the smile, sinking into his seat across from Alfred, ready to unload.

" Not this time Alfie, though it is a bit of a story."

" One I'm sure you'll be pleased to tell me all about," he challenged, raising an eyebrow. Jason just shook his head and chuckled.

" Sure thing Alfie."

~

The next time he ran into Danny and Ellie he was at the grocery store.

Jason had been examining a piece of zucchini when he felt a light, cool breeze quickly followed by the sensation of someone walking past him. A lean figure came and stood nearby inspecting the squash. Jason glanced up, having registered a new presence, before doing a double take. A small grin graced his lips as he spoke,

" Well hey there neighbor, didn't expect to see you today."

Danny looked up, slightly startled before he saw that it was Jason. He smiled back and returned his greeting in a warm tone.

" Hey neighbor, I didn't expect to see you either. Honestly, I was hoping we wouldn't meet till I had made a batch of my family's signature fudge to give you as a thank you when we returned your dishes for the food and for looking after Ellie that day in the library."

" Ah~ the little munchkin told you bout that did she?"

" She was pleased to inform me about how she was learning not to scare animals and how Mr. Jason was sooo nice and even pinky promised to spend some more time with her." he teased.

Jason flushed slightly, his hand coming up to the back of his neck,

" Oh yeah, I hope I didn't overstep my bounds there. She just seemed so excited."

" Yeah, that sounds like my little spitfire!" he chuckled fondly. He took a deep breath and continued. " Well if you don't have anything else going on tonight I'd love to have you over. Ellie has really been looking forward to seeing you again and I can whip up some fudge that you can take home with you if you stay for dinner?" Danny seemed to flush at his own forwardness before rushing to continue, " I mean- not that you have to, especially if you're busy! I just- thought it might be nice to get to know my neighbor, especially since Ellie seems to like you so much! But-"

Jason, who had just finished processing the dinner invite, interrupted before Danny spiraled deeper into his nervous rambles. He place a hand on Danny's shoulder to get his attention and spoke,

" Sure. I'd love to come over Danny." He smiled, puffing up his chest, “ Besides, I have a pinky promise to fulfill.”

Danny returned his smile with a laugh, giving Jason's shoulder an embarrassed shove. Jason grinned at having successfully made the other laugh. The two stared at each other for a beat, coming down from their high of making each other laugh, before flushing and looking away. A look of realization passed over Danny's face and he turned to speak to Jason again.

" You probably have your own groceries to finish and put away. How about you come over around 7:30? I can have the fudge cooling in the fridge while we eat, oh which reminds me, you’re not allergic to anything are you?"

Jason smiled back. "7:30 sounds great Danny and no, no allergies as far as I’m aware, though I’m not particularly fond of most shellfish."

“Well alrighty then I’ll see you at 7:30,” Danny confirmed with a smile and rushed off to continue his own shopping.

And that’s how Jason found himself standing outside the Nightingale residence in a casual maroon 3/4 sleeve tee, a dark denim jacket, and some of his nicer trousers with a bouquet of flowers he put a frankly embarrassing amount of thought into. He figured bringing more food wouldn’t be appropriate since he was a dinner guest, dessert wouldn’t fly either as Danny had claimed he’d be making fudge, and wine didn’t seem appropriate with a 6-year-old also in attendance.

‘Come on Jason, it’s just a casual dinner with your neighbors! Normal human interaction, nothing to be nervous about! You can do this!’

Jason took a breath and knocked on the door. He heard a pitched squee followed by a “it’s him daddy!” come from behind the door. Unconsciously, Jason smiled as he heard the door unlocking. As it opened he was met with a cool breeze from within the apartment and the sight of his two neighbors. Danny was in a pale, moss green apron, smudged with what appeared to be powdered sugar, over a pale blue button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and cuffed jeans. Ellie was dressed in an interesting combo of pink crocs, neon green leggings, a sparkly, powder blue tutu, a white shirt with glittery black script declaring her “Daddy’s little princess”, a denim jacket embroidered with flowers and vines on the back and sleeves, and a plastic tiara with a big purple gem in the middle fixed atop her signature red beanie.

“Hi,” Danny greeted a bit breathlessly. His young daughter stood in front of him beaming up at Jason.

“ Mr. Jason you came!” She bounced excitedly on her heels before launching forward to hug his leg. She tugged at his jacket before pointing to her own, “Look! We match!”

With a smile, Jason got down on one knee and offered the flowers to her, “ And what an honor it is to match with such a beautiful princess! Please, accept these flowers as a token of my goodwill m’lady!”

“Thank you!” The girl giggled, accepting the bouquet and scurrying back into the apartment. Jason watched her go with a smile. He then turned his gaze to look up at Danny who watched the whole interaction with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. He met Jason’s gaze and smiled.

“Why don’t you come in too my good sir,” he teased, holding out his hand to help Jason up. Jason smirked at the opportunity Danny had unknowingly presented him. He took Danny’s hand but made no move to get up. Instead, he ran his thumb over the other man’s knuckles and slowly brought the hand closer to his face. He glanced up once more, teal eyes connecting to icy blue ones.

“Of course my dear king,” he whispered. His breath dancing over Danny’s hand, his lips ghosting over his knuckles. Maintaining eye contact, the kneeling man placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles, watching a beautiful red flush bloom upon the young man’s face.

‘His hand is cold. His fingers have the beginnings of callouses on them. It feels like his hand was made to fit in mine. This feels right’

Jason is snapped out of his reverie when Danny clears his throat. He coughs into his other hand while trying to hide his blush, averting his eyes in embarrassment. He doesn't withdraw his hand however, allowing Jason to continue to hold it. Jason took that as his sign to get up before this got too awkward.

He rose from the ground still not letting go of the other's hand. The pair stood there for a moment with their hands intertwined, as if a message was being passed through their tingling palms. A charge filled the air with an exhilarating tension. The kind you feel before trying something unfamiliar and new that, unbeknownst to you, will become your favorite.

“So, uh, let’s head in then?” Danny said, slowly withdrawing his hand from Jason’s, almost as if he was reluctant to do so.

“Let’s,” Jason replied and the two turned into the apartment.

Danny had Ellie show Jason to the bathroom so he could wash up as he set the table. He had made grilled squash, a macaroni and beef hotdish, and some Greek salad on the side. The three of them sat at the table making some small talk ( how are they liking it in Gotham, how did the rest of daddy-daughter day go, does Jason have restaurant/activity recommendations, would he like to see Ellie’s favorite model airplane, etc.) and laughing with each other over horrible dad jokes and Ellie’s antics.

Jason could feel his chest fill with an almost unbearable warmth. He would’ve sworn it’d have melted him from the inside out if it hadn’t been accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of joy and desire. The traitorous little whisper in his head returned to comment on how much he’d love to be a part of the Nightingale’s family.

Soon enough it was time for Ellie to head to bed and Jason to head out, lest he be late for patrol.

“Here, I can clear off the table while you put her to bed.”

Danny rushed to stop him despite the young child koala wrapped over his torso. “Oh, you really don’t have to do that. I can-”

“Relax your highness, let me take care of this while you put the princess to bed.” He gave Danny a kind look, hefting up the dirty dishes. Danny returned it with a grateful look and turned to go put his daughter to bed. Over his shoulder, Ellie looked up sleepily and weakly waved one last time saying “Goodnight Mr.Jason” in a small voice.

Jason smiled gently at her and replied, “Goodnight princess.”

He then turned back to his task of clearing the table. Moving the dirty dishes to the sink and the serving dishes to the counter. He figured he’d get started on the dishes while he waited for Danny to return. He let his mind wander as he covered a plate with soapy suds. Danny and Ellie seemed like a good pair of neighbors. He doubted they’d cause him any trouble and if they ever unintentionally did, Jason found himself thinking he’d find it rather easy to forgive them. The two were both so welcoming and full of life. They made Jason feel so happy and peaceful tonight. They welcomed him into their home and made him feel as if they enjoyed his company and wanted him around for more than just a cursory “return the favor” dinner. ‘As If he belongs there. With them.’ The little voice returned, prompting Jason to reel in his thoughts. He’s only known them for what? Two weeks? These weren’t the type of thoughts he should be having at this point. He tried to rationalize it telling himself he just missed the domesticity of family dinners like he had when Catherine was in a good stretch or like he had with Bruce, Dick, and Alfred as kid when they were all getting along. He made up his mind to attend one of the bi-weekly family dinners at the manor coming up. It’d be nice to see the little demon brat, big bird, and nerd bird again now that they were getting along like actual brothers.

“Oh! Jason you didn’t have to do that!” His train of thought broken by Danny rushing over to protest him doing dishes. “You’re a guest! You really didn’t have to-”

“It’s okay Danny, I wanted to,” he reassured the fussing young man who pulled him away from the sink. The young man responded by pushing him out of the kitchen and telling him to grab his jacket before turning back to grab something from the fridge.

And there he stood in the doorway, 20 minutes after he had intended to leave, still saying goodbye. Danny pushed a familiar Tupperware container into his hands, which recognized as the one he had given them lasagna in, now full of dark squares of fudge sprinkled with a bit of white and green on top.

Danny smiled as he handed him the sweets. “A family recipe with my own little twist on it,” he winked. Jason gratefully accepted, wishing the young man well and agreeing that he hoped to see the other again soon. And with that, Jason rushed off hoping that he wouldn’t be late for patrol.

~ Later that night Jason returned to his apartment, exhausted. He chucked his helmet off onto the bed and stumbled to his kitchen. He pulled open the fridge in search of something to eat when his eyes landed on the fudge his neighbor had given him. He pulled it out and grabbed a square, giving it a sniff before biting in. His eyes widened at the taste.

The fudge was, well fudgy, but not overly sweet. It had a richness of dark chocolate and a sweeter note from the white chocolate chips mixed in. There were also candied orange peels mixed into it which gave the fudge a bit of chew and acidity to break up the richness. The fudge was topped with pistachios adding a nutty, earthy flavor to the experience. He’s sure that if Martian Manhunter ever tried these he’d accuse Jason of giving him hard drugs. But what Jason liked most of all was the quality only homemade food and family recipes passed down over generations have. He could practically taste the amount of love and thought that went into this fudge.

Jason smiled to himself finishing off his square and decided the save the rest for later. He headed off to bed with a peaceful smile on his face and a warm, full, feeling in his chest.

~~~

I tried very hard to balance out the dialogue and description as well as to not make it too long winded and keep the story moving so please let me know what you guys think. I love receiving feedback so if there is anything you want to see more or less of let me know. I’m also open to suggestions of where Jason should run into our father-daughter pair next.

If anyone's interested here is what the bouquet was comprised of: apple blossom- preference, basil- good wishes, white camellia- you're adorable, goldenrod- encouragement/good fortune, violets- watchfulness/modesty/faithfulness

I actually looked up a real fudge recipe so that I'd have and easier time describing it. You can find it here: https://www.midwestliving.com/recipe/candy/creamy-rich-pistachio-tangerine-fudge

#long post #like Long long #dead on main #jason todd x danny fenton #dc x dp #How To Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps #How to Become a Step-Dad #hbsd #romance #fluff #domestic fluff #falling in love #single dad!danny fenton #de-aged!dani #books & libraries #family dinner #jason todd #danielle fenton #danny fenton

[pensat-i-fet]

Wrong player, right time: Part 1 (Pablo Gavi, Pedri x Reader)

Part 2

**Hi! 😊 So...I was asked to write some sort of love triangle and while I liked the idea, I thought I could do something a bit different. Hopefully you like it. And because this ended up being so long, it’s divided in two. The next part will be posted tomorrow so not a lot of waiting 😉 Enjoy!! ❤️**

Word count: 5177

Masterlist

Wattpad

“I got a present for you”.

Your mum’s words made you look up. “Why?”

“For passing your exam. And it kind of is related to that”.

You frowned slightly, smiling at the same time. Last year, you decided to retake a few classes to get a higher grade and study the major you really wanted to study in university. It had been a crazy decision to many but you were sure of it and it paid off. You got the grade you needed and were accepted at the university in Barcelona.

“Ok, tell me!”

“You are going to Barcelona this weekend. I want you to be able to know the city better and to see the area where you’ll be living”.

“Mum! Oh my God!”

Getting up, you ran to hug your mum.

“And…I might have gotten a ticket for the football match too”.

“Stop! You’re the best! Thank you!”

“You’ve worked hard and deserve it. Once you start the uni year, there won’t be time for much fun”.

There was no time to waste. It was Wednesday and your flight was on Friday, so you needed to pack everything and start planning. You had been to Barcelona before but never for too long, so this was a great opportunity to familiarize yourself with the beautiful city.

The weather was supposed to be good, so you packed a lot of cute summery outfits. The sun didn’t bless you with its presence as often in your home city of Santander, so it was also something else you could enjoy during the weekend.

You barely got any sleep the night before your trip and after checking you had your boarding pass and your ID about seventy times, you made your way to the small airport.

The flight was quick and soon you found yourself on your way to the hotel you would stay at the next couple of days. You pretty much threw the suitcase on the floor and went out again to see the city.

And that was how you spent the Friday and Saturday in Barcelona, trying to see as much as you could and visiting the student residence where you were going to live once you moved there.

Sunday was going to be your last full day there but it was also the most exciting. Finally, you were going to visit the Camp Nou. Actually, you visited it as a kid but couldn’t remember being there. But now it was time to fully enjoy the experience.

The atmosphere was incredible. You usually went to watch matches when Racing de Santander played at home but your main team was Barça. And, funnily enough, a former Racing player was now playing for Barça. You had met him a few times but doubted he would remember you. Players met so many people every day.

“First time?”

“Pardon?”, you asked, turning to look at the man on the seat next to yours.

“You look like it’s your first time here. And like a kid in a toy store”.

“Yes”, you laughed. “I’ve been wanting to watch a match here my entire life”.

“Well, let’s hope it’s a good one”.

While it wasn’t the match of the century, it was quite entertaining. Barça went 2-0 up early and got to play a bit more relaxed after a couple of not-so-great results.

The second half meant a few players you didn’t get to see up close before were now playing near the area where you were sitting. One of those players was the famous Gavi. You couldn’t lie and pretend you weren’t one of those girls who thought he was really cute. But the one you liked the most, Pedri, was injured. So it was a bummer you didn’t get to see him play. Oh well, Gavi was a good substitute.

“Gavi! Look at all the space those defenders are leaving near the box. Use it!”

You didn’t even realise you were yelling. You never did. And it’s not as if the rest of the fans were quiet but Gavi was very close to your seat and heard your words.

“Ok, coach!”, he said, looking at you and smiling at your surprised face.

“I…”.

“You’re blushing”, laughed the man that had introduced himself as José. You had been chatting a bit during the match.

“I feel so silly. I never realise they can hear me. I’m too used to screaming at the tv”.

That only made him laugh more.

A couple of minutes later, the ball fell on Gavi’s feet again and the defenders left the same space you had warned him about before. And he took the chance to run to the box and give a pass to Lewandowski that gave Barça their third goal.

Everyone got up to cheer and when you finally sat down, you saw Gavi walking towards you, a big smile on his face.

“Thanks for the heads up!���

“Eh…you’re welcome?”

José’s laugh could probably be heard back at your parent’s house. God, you were so embarrassed.

The match ended with a 3-0 win for Barça and you couldn’t be happier with that result. It was the perfect ending to your weekend. But…there was more that was going to happen before you went back home.

“Someone wants to talk to you”, said José.

“Who?”

You looked at where he was pointing and saw Gavi walking towards you while taking his shirt off. He gestured for you to get closer so he could give you the shirt and you walked almost not believing what was happening.

“For me?”

“Yes. We wouldn’t have scored that third goal without your advice. I’ll tell Xavi that if he needs some help, I know the right person”.

You giggled, blushing. “I’m free for the next match if he needs me”.

“I would love to see you on the bench. You wouldn’t be as far from me then”.

Not knowing what to say, you extended your arm to get the shirt. And once you had it, Gavi left to join his teammates.

“He was flirting with you”, said Jóse, making you blush even more.

You put the shirt on your face, trying to hide. But it was too late. The cameras had seen it all.

                                   **

Gavi expected you to post something about getting his shirt on Instagram, so he kept checking the photos he was tagged in on social media…but nothing. You were nowhere to be found.

He was used to hearing things yelled at him at the matches. Often insults and usually it was men who did it. So when he heard your voice, it caught his attention a bit more. And what you said actually made sense. He had noticed what you pointed out and was thinking about telling his teammates to try and take advantage of that defensive weakness from the other team. But it was hearing you say it that made him do it before he even told the others. He wanted to impress you.

What he didn’t want was for the entire country to know about the interaction but he should have known better. All eyes were on him at matches and, of course, the cameras had picked up everything that happened.

“El día después”, a football programme that had been created before he was even born was very famous for their section “Lo que el ojo no ve” (What the eye doesn’t see). They usually caught funny moments of the matches and put them together in a video. People loved that. And this time, they found the best clips for it at the Barça match. They filmed all of your interactions with him and subtitled them.

Gavi was rewatching the video in the training ground with some of his teammates, and they all teased him when the guy who was next to you told you that Gavi had been flirting with you and you blushed and hid your face. He hadn’t seen that when it happened and it made him smile knowing you seemed to like him too. But still, no post on social media.

“She’s gorgeous”, said Pedri.

“I know”.

Gavi couldn’t stop smirking and daydreaming about you showing up at the next match.

“What are you all doing?”, asked the other Pablo, Torre, when he got to the dressing room.

“Watching a video of Gavi’s girlfriend”, said Ferrán.

“You have one? I didn’t know”.

“She’s not my girlfriend, Pablo. Don’t listen to them. But come watch the video”.

Gavi played the video again and when the camera showed you, Torre asked him to pause.

“I know her”.

“You do?”, Gavi couldn’t believe that. He might be able to find you after all.

“She’s from Santander, like me. I saw her at all the Racing matches”.

“Do you know her name?”

“No, but….”, he took his phone out and went on Instagram, “I took a lot of photos with her and she tagged me on Instagram when she posted them, so we should be able to find her”.

“I love you, Pablito”, said Gavi, kissing his teammate’s head.

“Save the kisses for her, bro”.

It took longer than they expected but there it was, a post you made on Torre’s final match for Racing. Gavi took a screenshot of it so he could send you a message later. But if you were from Santander…well, that complicated things a bit but it didn’t make anything impossible.

He spent some time looking at your posts and then had to go to training. There was time to keep stalking later. But when he finally got home and went to check your profile, it was private. That was odd.

                                  **

The last thing you expected after your trip to Barcelona was for a video of you to go viral. When you were sent the youtube clip, you couldn’t believe it. And the comments…they made you want to never check your social media again.

But then you noticed a lot of notifications on your Instagram. How on earth had Gavi’s fans found your profile? It was too much. So you privated your profile and removed all the new followers you got. You were just a normal girl and didn’t want to be involved in any drama.

Your mum found out what had happened and invited you to go out with her to stop overthinking. You turned the wifi and data off and forgot about all of it.

But then you got home and the wifi connected to your phone and one of the notifications caught your eye immediately. Why was Gavi sending you DM’s on Instagram?

[Pablogavi]: Hi! Sorry about all the drama that the video has caused. You ok?

How did he find your Instagram? But it was really nice to see he actually cared.

[You]: Hi! I’m alright, don’t worry. Thanks for asking.

[Pablogavi]: Let me know if you need me to say something on social media or whatever.

[You]: I will, thanks.

[You]: How did you find my Instagram?

[Pablogavi]: Torre recognised you on the video and helped me find you.

[Pablogavi]: Does it sound stalkerish? 😶

[You]: A bit 😂

[You]: But I’m glad you contacted me.

How had your life become so surreal so quickly? All because of a silly comment you couldn’t help but scream.

[Pablogavi]: Feel free to be the one who contacts me if you ever come back to Barcelona.

[You]: I’m moving there soon. For uni.

[Pablogavi]: Best news you could give me 😀

“Who are you talking to?”

Your mum’s voice startled you and made you almost drop the phone. “Nobody”.

“Right. Why were you blushing and smiling then?”

“Just watching some funny videos”.

You didn’t normally keep secrets from your parents but what were they going to think if, after what they saw on that video, you told them Gavi was flirting with you on Instagram?

So you didn’t tell them but kept on speaking with him. And you kept thinking about going to Barcelona before you had to move there…so you could see him. You had seen some comments online about how you had made your account private right before he started to follow you and that worried you. As exciting as talking to a cute football player was, you didn’t want people harassing you because of it. And now it seemed like so many people had already decided you were his girlfriend.

“Will it be ok for me to go to Barcelona this weekend?”, you asked in the middle of dinner three weeks after your previous trip.

“What for?”, asked your dad. “Do you need to do any uni stuff there? I thought you could do it all online”.

“Yes, it’s not uni related. I just wanted to go again and…meet some friends and stuff”.

“You have friends in Barcelona? Since when?”

Your mum was suspicious and for a reason. The way your face got all red while you were lying to them didn’t help.

“Honey, we might not use social media but we aren’t dumb. And when people talk about your daughter, you listen. Is it Gavi that’s invited you to go see him?”

“Yes, but it’s not what you think”, you rushed to say.

“We weren’t born yesterday. Of course it is what we think it is. But…you aren’t a kid anymore. We can’t forbid you from going and you’ll move there soon anyway. But please be careful”.

“I always am”.

“We know”, said your mum, holding your hand. “You are smart and we trust you. Do we trust a football player’s intentions?”

“We don’t”, answered your dad.

“Keep trusting me, then”.

                                    **

“Someone’s happy…and in a hurry”, said Pedri, sitting down next to an already dressed Gavi. “I’ve never seen you get ready so fast”.

“I’ve got plans”, smiled his friend.

“I can guess which type of plans”.

“My Santander girl is coming to Barcelona again”.

“I still think she’s too pretty for you”.

“Don’t be jealous, Pepi. She’s an only child but we might find a pretty cousin for you or something”.

“Is she staying with you?”

“No, she’s staying at a hotel but we have a couple of dates planned. And she might change her mind about where she stays after that”.

“Or she might run back to Santander after talking to you for more than 10 minutes”.

Gavi laughed and left the training centre to go find you. The taxi was waiting for him already.

Once at the train station, he tried not to be recognized but it was always a lost battle. It was while taking some photos with a kid that he saw you.

“Sorry guys, I have to go”.

You were looking around and smiled when you finally saw him.

“Hi”, you said, hugging him. “So good to finally see you in person”.

“Yeah, same. Should I take you to the hotel so you can leave your suitcase? Then we can go grab some food”.

“Sounds good”.

You did just that and soon found yourself walking around Barcelona, on your way to a restaurant that was great, according to Gavi. Well, at least you were learning about where to eat for when you moved there.

The food was great. The rest of the date…it wasn’t his fault. Or yours. But there was no spark. The excitement you had felt while you texted was gone. And he was feeling the same way. Well, that was disappointing.

Gavi had planned on trying to ask you to go to his place after dinner but what was the point? He wouldn’t be surprised if you actually ran away home like Pedri had said.

And when you got to the hotel, you buried your head in the pillow, feeling so stupid about how wrong it all went.

                                  **

“Someone isn’t looking so happy today”.

“Stop”, said Gavi, putting his hands on his face.

“What happened?”

“The date was a disaster, Pedri. A disaster!”

“What did you do?”

“Why does it have to be me?”

“You’re more likely to mess up”, he shrugged.

“It’s just…there was no connection. And it’s not as if she isn’t an interesting person”.

"Or gorgeous”.

“Yeah, that too. But we just felt so uncomfortable in each other’s company. It was so weird”.

“Are you seeing her today? Maybe things change”.

“Well, I have to see her. She is here because of me, I can’t just leave her alone. But…could you maybe come with us?”

“I don’t want to third wheel”.

“It wouldn’t be that. Just, I don’t know, maybe having someone else there helps”.

Pedri didn’t want to tell his friend but the only reason why he accepted was a very selfish one. He wanted to meet you. Every time Gavi mentioned you or showed the boys a photo of you, he cursed his back luck. Maybe if he hadn’t been injured, it would have been him who talked to you at the match.

You were waiting for your “date” to arrive, checking your phone nervously. Maybe the second date would be better than the first. There was some hope.

But then you saw he wasn’t alone and that confirmed he had a terrible time with you too. You tried to see who it was he was with and then realised it was Pedri. The player you actually had a crush on.

“Hi. Do you mind if Pedri comes with us today?”

“No, not all. Hi!”

You tried not to be too obvious but could tell Gavi was looking at you funny. And when Pedri smiled at you, you just knew you were blushing.

“Nice to finally meet you”.

“Nice to meet you too”.

Soon, it was Gavi that felt like he was third wheeling but he didn’t really mind. It wasn’t as if his friend was trying to steal a girl he had a chance with from him. It was clear you two were not meant for each other, but maybe Pedri could be a bit luckier.

“Sometimes I feel like I just signed for Barça because of the beach. I wouldn’t be able to live in Madrid or somewhere without a beach”.

“Same”, you laughed. “I can’t wait to visit all the beaches here. It’s going to make me feel less homesick”.

“Pedri can show you his favourite one”, said Gavi, making you both look at him. Had you forgotten he was there? Kinda.

“That’d be nice”, you said.

“The one near his house is really pretty. Why don’t you go today? The weather is great”.

Pedri looked at his friend, a bit confused. But when he saw the way he raised his eyebrows, he got it.

You quickly finished your dinner and made your way to Pedri’s house, where he parked his car so you could then walk to the beach.

“Sorry about today”.

“What are you apologizing for?”

“Well, Gavi sent you to babysit me and you probably had other plans. It’s just…I guess he could tell it wasn’t working between us or whatever. You didn’t have to look after me. It’s fine”.

“I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do”.

You looked down, biting your lip. And feeling all the butterflies you expected to feel with Gavi but that never showed up.

The silence that accompanied you while you walked on the beach wasn’t a bad one. It was nice.

“I like to sit there and just look around. It sounds a bit boring, I know”.

“We could do that”, you said quickly, not finding the idea boring at all.

“Come, I’ll let you sit on the comfiest stone”.

That made you laugh.

“It’s a shame you and Gavi didn’t work. He was very excited about seeing you”.

“Yeah. I guess it happens”.

“You could still be friends when you move here, though. He’s a good guy, he’ll be happy to help you with whatever you need”.

“Can I ask for your help too?”

“Of course”.

Sitting there with him was making you feel a bit more bold. Having a crush on someone you didn’t know personally could lead to disappointment when you got to spend some time with that person. But with Pedri…it was the complete opposite.

“You know. I had a crush on a Barça player but it wasn’t Gavi”.

Pedri looked at you after that comment, frowning.

“Torre?”

“What? No, why would you…”.

“Well, he’s the one who recognized you. And he mentioned you asked him for photos a lot. I just guessed”.

“Do you want to guess again?”

“Can I get a little hint? Blonde or brunette? Spaniard or from another country?”

“I’ll give you the best hint. No way you don’t guess right after that”.

He turned to look at you when you didn’t continue talking and you leaned to kiss him. You could tell he was surprised at first, but he responded to the kiss quickly.

“Can you guess now?”

“I might need another one of those hints…”.

You laughed, moving to kiss him again. Yeah, he didn’t disappoint.

"Does this count as stealing my friend's girl?"

"I don't think so".

"Good".

                                  **

Your final day in Barcelona was spent with Pedri and it was perfect. You kept making promises to each other but you weren’t stupid. The summer holidays were coming and you wouldn’t be with him. So you decided to not try and date until you moved to Barcelona in August. Mostly to save yourself the heartbreak if you opened Instagram one day to see him with another girl while on holiday.

Your parents didn’t buy that nothing had happened with Gavi when they saw the way you looked when you got back home. And after some pestering, you told them what really happened.

The holidays were pretty uneventful for you. And by the time they were almost over, you just spent your days packing your things and getting ready for the big move.

[Pedri ❤️]: will you be in Santander next week?

What an odd message. You had been texting non-stop but you didn’t expect that question now.

[You]: yes, why?

[Pedri ❤️]: I’m coming to see you 😉

He what?

[You]: you don’t have to. We’ll see each other in Barcelona soon.

[Pedri ❤️]: I want to see you. Is that ok?

[You]: of course. I just didn’t expect you to come to see me here.

[Pedri ❤️]: I’ve been dying to see you since the day you left.

And you had been dying to see him since that very same day too. So you planned his little trip, still not believing this was happening.

“Hey!”, you waved at him at the airport, feeling overwhelmed by his presence.

“Don’t go all shy on me now, mi amor”, he said, hugging you and not caring about the looks you were getting from people. “Missed me?”

“Maybe a little”.

“Liar”.

More people started to look at you, recognising Pedri. So you took him to your car to drive him to his hotel.

"My parents want to meet you", you blurted out, afraid of scaring him.

"Ok".

"You're ok with it? I mean, we aren't even dating officially but…you know, they just want to take the opportunity of having you here to talk".

"Yes, it makes sense. And you keep saying we are not dating but that's not how I see it".

You looked at him quickly before looking at the road again. "How do you see it?"

"To me, we started dating the day we met. We are just waiting until we live in the same city to see each other often and I guess do more couple stuff".

"So should I introduce you to my parents as my boyfriend?"

"It'll probably be nicer for them to hear that than calling me the guy you hooked up with once because you actually didn't like my friend".

The laugh that came out of you scared you and you gripped the steering wheel tighter while trying not to laugh more.

But on that first day, you didn't see your parents. You spent the whole day with your boyfriend and if that was an indication of how life was going to be in Barcelona, you couldn't move there fast enough.

Pedri charmed your parents too when he met them and you could tell they were a bit less worried about letting their daughter hang out with a football player.

"I'll see you in…10 days", you told Pedri when you took him to the airport. He started preseason the next day.

"10 loooong days. I might not survive".

"You'll be fine", you hugged him tightly, not ready to let go. "I'm the one who will struggle".

"We facetime every day, ok? I need to see your pretty face".

You nodded, kissing him before walking to the security area with him.

"See you soon".

                                  **

Your dad was helping you take the last box from the car to your room when you heard screaming in the hallway. Was this going to be a daily occurrence?

"It's Pedri! And Gavi!"

"Oh no…".

You got out of the room and saw your boyfriend walking towards your room. He had promised to help with the moving but ended up having to stay longer for training. But there he was, and Gavi was there too, making every girl in the building go insane.

"What are you doing here?"

Your dad told them to get inside the room and closed the door, so people wouldn't see you.

"No kiss?", he asked and then looked at your dad. "Sorry?"

But your dad just shook his head and Pedri gave you a quick kiss and hugged you.

"Did you bring Gavi here to see if I had changed my mind about who I liked?"

"So funny".

"I was brought here for my muscles", said Gavi, flexing said muscles.

"You are here because I have to drive you around and I didn't want to waste more time going all the way to your house".

"I can help anyway".

When everything was in place, you decided to leave. Your dad wanted to take you to dinner before leaving. And now both Pedri and Gavi were invited to that dinner.

On the way out, you tried to keep your distance from your boyfriend, not wanting to create rumours on your first day there. But the problem was that it was Gavi who walked by your side and that didn't create a rumour. It only made the one that already existed bigger.

Some of the girls took photos of you two walking together and laughing and posted them on Instagram.

"Ok then. You can't visit me if this is what's going to happen".

"You ok?"

You nodded, not feeling sure about being ok. You were dating one person while everyone seemed to think you were dating his best friend. It was…weird.

And it wasn't the last time something like that happened. You started to go to every Barça match at home, wearing your Barça shirt but not showing the back. So, of course, everyone assumed you were wearing Gavi's.

It got to the point where you didn't want to post about the matches. Your account was private but someone was clearly posting your photos with other accounts and you didn't know who it could be. So no posting was the solution. Every time you posted with Pedri, it was stories for your close friends. And those were never leaked, thankfully.

                                  **

"What happened?", you asked one of the girls that lived with you when you got there and saw all the people on your floor.

"A pipe burst and we have no water. And the water messed something up and half of us have no electricity".

"Huh…we can't stay here, then".

"Where are we supposed to go?", she asked. "Not all of us can go to our rich boyfriend's mansion like you will".

"Whatever", you rolled your eyes and went to your room to pick up some clothes and your books.

"Say hi to Gavi from me!"

You were still shaking your head when you closed your door.

"Hi! You're on speaker. I'm driving to the stadium".

"Sorry. I've got no water or electricity at my place. Can I stay with you until it's back?"

"Of course", said Pedri, not doubting his answer for a second, which made you smile. "And for the record, it wasn't me who did whatever it's that happened just so you stay with me".

"Don't believe him".

"Hi, Pablito! And don't worry, I don't believe him. I'll see you after the match, ok?"

"Looking forward to it".

"Good luck boys!"

                                    **

After the match, you waited for the boys near Pedri's car. They didn't take long to get there and you hugged both of them to congratulate them for the win. But your boyfriend got a longer hug.

"Sit behind him", said Pedri when you walked to sit behind the driver's seat, his seat.

"Why?"

"So I can see you while I drive".

"Oh my God", Gavi was rolling his eyes and Pedri glared at him.

But you did as he said and he started to drive. You could also see him better like this so you weren't going to complain.

When you were getting out of the stadium, you saw all the fans waiting. You put your hood on and tried to hide from all of them but they were surrounding the car.

Looking up from your phone for two seconds, you saw all the people trying to get a good look at you.

"It's her", you heard them say, "the girl Gavi is dating".

"See? I told you they were together".

You saw Pedri's jaw clenching and Gavi told him to drive so they wouldn't make you uncomfortable. He turned to see if you were ok and dozens of phones were out to film the interaction.

"Oh my God, he's so sweet looking after her", was the last thing you heard before Pedri drove past all the fans.

"Sorry about that", said Gavi.

"It's ok".

But you knew it wasn't ok. Because your boyfriend didn't say a word the whole drive to Gavi's and barely acknowledged him when he said goodbye.

You quickly moved to the passenger's seat and tried to get his attention but he wasn't in the mood.

"Are you ok?", you asked him when you got home.

"No, I'm really tired. Tired of everyone thinking my girlfriend is dating my friend".

"Who cares what they think? It's just because of that video. But you know the truth. We know the truth".

"What truth?", he said, raiding his voice. You had never heard him speak like that.

"What do you mean?"

"The truth about how you two spent weeks flirting and then you came here to be with him?"

"Are you for real?", you couldn't believe him. "You know how that ended. Why are you bringing that up now? I'm here with you, am l not?"

"Maybe you should just go with him. Everyone seems to think that".

"I don't think that".

But no matter what you said, he wouldn't look at you. It was breaking your heart. So you left…and there was only one place you could go to.

#pablo gavi #gavi #pedri #pedri gonzalez #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi one shot #pablo gavi fluff #pablo gavi angst #pedri imagine #pedri one shot #pedri fluff #pedri angst #footballer imagine #footballer one shot #footballer fluff #footballer angst

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 24:

Every time you call me crazy I get more crazy

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"You look like shit? Didn’t you sleep?" Daniel’s first words when he walked inside.

"Actually no. I haven’t." I bit back.

"Are you getting sick?"

"No. I just couldn’t sleep. Are you ready? Can we go?"

"Yeah. Just your suitcase and we’re ready to go, but remind me again, why you don’t ask your dad to drive you?" Daniel asked and I sighed.

"Because he and Liam will come on Friday. More driving. Less talking."

"Oh wow you’re really grumpy." he groaned.

"I just need to grab something and then we can go." I said and he nodded.

I opened the bathroom drawer taking out the blue pill packaging and popped one of the pills out, swallowing it dry, when Mum walked in.

"What was that?" she asked curiously and I looked at her.

"Birth control?" I threw the package into my toiletry bag before Mum fished it back out.

"Is it a new packaging?" she looked at it and I shook my head "A new one? Why?"

"The one I was taking won’t be produced anymore? So now I’m taking this one." I said and she read the back of the package.

"Does it have the same hormones and stuff?" she asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don’t know? As long as it’s doing its job." I said but then I took in a deep breath. Awkward.

"I pretend like I didn’t hear that… but Lizzie, switching to a different pill is nothing you should take easy. You might experience some side effects while your body adjusts to the new one? How long are you taking it already?" she sounded really concerned and I took the package out of her hand.

"Taking the last one of this package on Sunday. And it’s the first month with it. And I’m feeling good. No side effects. Can I please go now? This conversation is… weird. Go talk with Sissy about this kinda stuff." I threw the package back in my toiletry bag again and kissed her cheek "I see you in Monza? Before Monza? I don’t even know myself?"

"Yeah we’ll figure it out. But Lizzie, sweetheart? Please keep the side effects in mind! Just in case!" she said and I sighed.

"Yup. I will." I went back downstairs where Daniel still waited "Ready?"

"Ready!" he opened the door for me, taking my duffel bag out of my hand and loading it in the trunk of my car.

As soon as we were inside I took my shoes off and leaned back.

"Can you make it in under 4 hours?" I joked.

"It’s your car. Every speeding ticket I will get is yours to deal with, then yes."

"Go for it!" I closed my eyes. Trying to get at least a little bit of sleep.

Failed attempt.

"Welcome back to the second half of the season, Lizzie! How are you? How was the summer break? What did you do?" Will Buxton asked.

"I am fantastic! Thank you. The summer break was way too short, I could use some more time with my family and friends! But it was also way too long because I can’t wait to get back in my car again! And as for what I did, I spent some time with my family, then a little with my friends and then I focused on getting back in shape. A lot of work outs." I smiled at him and he nodded.

"Lizzie, we know that Spa, after the Nürburgring, is your favourite race track. How excited are you, breezing past this historical track this weekend with an F1 car?"

"You have no idea! I honestly can’t wait to get in the car and just go for it! Race like there is no tomorrow!" I said euphorically.

"What can we expect from Audi this weekend?"

"Our car should work around here quite well, at least on paper. So yeah, I’d say something great!"

"Something great?"

"Oh yes."

P8. Decent. Not more. Not less. Nothing great.

"Lizzie, how was it, driving a Formula one car around this track, racing up eau rouge?" Lawrence Barretto asked.

"Well. After not the best feeling and results on Friday. An okayish Saturday… today was a bit of an up. The car felt better. The race was fun. We maximised our point as much as possible with Valtteri in P7 and me in P8. There wasn’t much more in it for us this weekend."

"You were quite- umm… euphoric, at the beginning of the weekend, in terms of Audi’s performance, what lead to that? And why didn’t the great as you had prognosed happen?"

"Yeah, I had a good feeling and was excited to race again and I let the data fool me a little. I was hoping for a better result, if I’m honest, but we’ll come back stronger next week in Zandvoort."

"Thank you, Lizzie!" one last smile and it was done.

Julie and I walked in silence back and before we reached our hospitality, she pulled me aside.

"Are you okay?" she asked and I nodded, slightly confused "You’re a little- umm how do I put this… you’re a little squeamish this weekend?"

"Squeamish? What do you mean? What? When?" I asked her.

"You were sometimes overly optimistic, the next minute you were… more reserved? Maybe even sensitive? You just were a little off the whole weekend. What ever it is. You know you can talk to me if you need to?"

"Yeah sure, but it’s all good! Really!" I tried to appease her and she nodded, right as Paul bumped into us.

"Oh shit, sorry!" he looked at me and smiled "Oh it’s you, girls. Ready for a waaay to loo long meeting?" he stepped in between us and put his arms around our shoulders.

"Can’t wait…" I mumbled and he laughed.

"You guys go ahead, I have to make a call." Julie walked away.

"The weekend wasn’t too bad, you know?" Paul said and I shook my head.

"I made too many mistakes." I mumbled and he pulled me even closer.

"But P8 is not that bad! Come on! Cheer up a little!"

"It’s okay, I guess?" I sighed and looked up, saw how Charles’ eyes were glued to me, Paul following my look.

"He’s in the second fastest car and struggled, a lot, so I’d say his weekend was worse." Paul laughed loudly and I saw how Charles walked away.

"Very funny." I groaned and we entered the Audi hospitality.

"Oh, come on! I’m just kidding!" Paul rolled his eyes and pulled his arm from my shoulder.

"And always jokes on Charles’ expanse."

Before Paul could answer Pete waved me over and I walked off, thankful to leave this conversation behind. Just this last meeting and then back to the hotel. And then back to Monaco.

"Alright. Run down. Just the flat itself, rank them worst to best." Charles handed me my salad.

"Umm- I don’t know? I have to consider everything not just the flat? The price, the neighbour hood? That one I liked but is on the 5th floor with no elevator? Not so easy!" I sighed, stabbing my salad half-heartedly.

"This way it’s easier? Rank them first and then we’ll talk about the price, the pros, the cons. But we have to start somewhere." he said and I put my bowl down leaning back, closing my eyes "Come on Lizzie, don’t think too much."

"Stop rushing me!" I hissed and Charles looked at me "You think telling me over an over to stop thinking is helpful? It’s not, just so you know!" I sat back up and grabbed my salad, shoving a fork full in my mouth.

"I’m sorry cara mia but you said you want to narrow it down to 2 options today…" Charles said.

"I know! But you… this… uggghhh! I can’t decide, okay?" I looked at my salad and groaned "God I’m so hungry and this salad is just… bland and soggy. I want fries. Or a Pizza. Literally anything is better than this half dead salad."

"Oh. Umm… I made it the way you always make it. Maybe I- I don’t know. Maybe I did something wrong?" Charles said a little dejectedly, grabbing my bowl and getting up. The way his shoulders slumped down made my heart clench.

"Wait! I’m sorry! The salad is fine! It’s good. I’m sorry… I don’t know what’s wrong with me today? Maybe this whole moving to Monaco thing isn’t the right decision? Maybe I should think about it again? I don’t know? Having my own place? That’s a lot of responsibility? I don’t know if I’m ready for that? I mean, I can’t even narrow the list down? Yeah, let’s- let’s don’t do this today? Just forget about it!" I rambled and Charles looked at me confused.

"Are you okay? You’re a little… off?" he asked carefully.

"What? Because I don’t like your salad?" I snapped and clapped my hand over my mouth "I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry! What is wrong with me today?"

"It’s okay, come here." Charles sat down next to me and pulled me into his lap "You’re stressed. It’s a lot going on right now. You’re just a little out of it today." he kissed my temple "Hey! Don’t cry? It’s okay!" he wiped a stray tear away and made me look at him.

"I don’t even know why I’m crying? I was mean to you and now I’m crying? What is wrong with me?" I sniffled a little.

"You have a bad day. We all have them, it’s okay." he kissed my cheek "Tomorrow will be better."

I really hoped that he was right.

Charles POV:

"Why aren’t we flying with Max more often?" Lizzie asked and I chuckled.

"Because we fly with vista most of the time." I answered and she rolled her eyes.

"You mean you fly vista and I have to fly commercial because your team doesn’t want me in their jet anymore…"

"It won’t happen again, okay?" I said and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I’m asking Max in the future. When I live in Monaco I could join him."

"So you still want to move here?" I asked carefully.

"Of course? Why wouldn’t I?" she said and I sighed.

Since yesterday it was a constant up and down. One minute she wanted to move. The next she didn’t. One minute she wanted fries. The next a yoghurt. I seriously was at my wit’s end. Thankfully the car stopped and we got out. Max was waving at us and Lizzie hugged him as soon as we were at the jet.

"Thanks for taking us with you! Ferrari doesn’t want me anymore!" Lizzie said to him and walked up the stairs.

Max looked after her, cocking an eyebrow as soon as he turned to me again.

"Don’t ask. But yeah. Thank you for letting us tag along." I clapped his back.

"No worries mate!" he laughed and we got inside, where Lizzie sat next to Penelope, reading a book with her.

"Hey Charles." Kelly greeted me and I hugged her.

"Hey Kelly, how are you?"

"Good as always." she smiled and sat down in front of Penelope and Lizzie.

I smiled at the little girl, she waved back smiling and then I followed Max to the back of the jet.

"Home race? Excited?" I asked Max and he shrugged his shoulders.

"I mean it’s home. Of course. But last year it proved to be a track I’m doing well so, yeah we’ll see." he said and I nodded.

"I wish I could say that I’ll give you a run for your money… but no. I’m not sure if our car will work there." I chuckled a little.

"I’m sure you’ll still be a pain in my ass."

"I’ll try."

I watched Lizzie intently the whole flight. She played with Penelope. Read her stories about fairies and princesses. Coloured in some pictures with her. And I could swear that I even saw Lizzie wiping away a tear once.

As soon as we arrived and got out of the jet we said goodbye to Max, Kelly and Penelope and headed straight to our hotel.

"I think I’m lying down for a bit." Lizzie came out of the bathroom, already changed into sweatpants and shirt, clutching her stomach.

"Are you okay? You’re a little pale?" I put my hand on her forehead to check her temperature "And you’re a little warm?"

"My stomach is a bit in shambles and I’m tired… but I’m fine, really. Just exhausted." she kissed my cheek and plopped down on the bed, snuggling into the sheets "Wake me up if you want to go out for dinner, or order something, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Rest a little." I closed the curtains and left the room, right as I received a call from Sylvia. Great. "Sylvia." I greeted her while shutting the balcony door behind me.

"Charles. Tomorrow there are some shoots planned. Mia will send you the exact details later on. Then there is also a dinner tomorrow in the evening, you and Carlos need to attend."

"Okay. Anything else?" I sat down on the bench.

"There is one thing we need to talk about. It’s about Monza. It’s our home race, we have to represent Ferrari perfectly! Ferrari should be the main focus of everything. We can’t have any negative press next week, you understand?"

"You mean Lizzie is supposed to stay silent this weekend? You want me to tell her to not say anything slightly negative about Ferrari?" my annoyance hit the roof.

"Yes."

"I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but last weekend she didn’t say anything… although she was asked a lot…"

"It’s good that she finally complies!"

"She doesn’t have to comply to anything…"

"Charles. This is only about what’s best for Ferrari!"

"Whatever. If that’s all?"

"Yes."

"Ciao Sylvia." I hung up, closing my eyes. After a while I was dozing off.

"Charlie?" Lizzie’s quiet voice made me flinch "I’m sorry." she walked outside, sitting down next to me.

"Hey cara mia, how do you feel?" I pushed a strand of hair out of her face and she yawned.

"Hungry."

"Hungry? What do you want?"

"Fries and a chocolate milkshake."

"Fries and a chocolate milkshake? Are you sure? Your stomach is a little sensitive?"

"I just want something greasy and salty mixed with something sweet."

"Okay. Yeah sure, I’ll order it."

"No, wait… umm just- I don’t know order whatever you want that’s fine."

"I can order you a milkshake and fries? That’s okay?"

"No… I don’t want a milkshake anymore…"

"Cara mia what is it? We can order a milkshake? It’s fine!"

"I know that we can, but I- I only like that fudge brownie chocolate one from KFC…" she mumbled and looked down

"Umm… okay. I’m sure there is a KFC around here somewhere. You go back to bed and I go and get you that milkshake and some fries." I got up, gently pulling her with me.

"Are you sure? I can change and come with you and then we eat there?"

"No it’s okay. You lay back, I get the food."

"Really?"

"Yes! Really! Now hush and relax!" I kissed her forehead and left.

While driving I thought about the last couple of days and my mind always came to one conclusion. The one that made my stomach drop. Was I out of my mind for thinking that? I called the only person I knew who could help me.

"Hi Charles."

"Hey Marta, how are you?"

"Oh you know, some days are good, some days are not so good…"

"Yeah I know, I mean, no I don’t know obviously… but I understand…"

"How’s Zandvoort?"

"It’s nice."

"Okay… any particular reason why you’re calling?"

"Actually yes… what I’m telling you know… just tell me that I’m not going crazy, okay?"

"Umm… sure?"

"The last couple of days… Lizzie was- different. She had terrible mood swings, one minute she’s all giddy and giggly, the next she’s furious and scary and then she’s super emotional and cries… she has an appetite like a bear… wanting to eat literally everything, but then really just eats like a mouse, because her stomach is in shambles how she called it. She’s pale, tired and exhausted, also a little warm oh and now I’m on my way to KFC getting her a special chocolate milkshake and fries… Lizzie hates chocolate ice cream! But a chocolate milkshake is fine all of a sudden? That all sounds like… is she…"

"…pregnant?"

"Oh god. I- I was so thinking that it was just in my head."

"I mean, it sounds really typical, mood swings, exhaustion, weird cravings…"

"What am I doing now?"

"Talk to her? And then you have to decide…"

"I don’t understand it… I mean…" I stopped abruptly.

"You used contraception?"

"Yes! I mean… not always, she’s taking birth control, so yeah…"

"Hmm. Well it can happen. It’s not impossible… but- well it could have another reason, I think, was she like this ever before?"

"No? Why?"

"Well- god this is awkward. I never thought I would have this kind of conversation with you… actually with any other guy besides from Riccardo?"

"Just help me, Marta, please I’m freaking out!"

"Some girls are like this when they’re on their period. But if she was never like this before? Then yeah…"

"Really? I thought it’s just being moody and having cramps… although yeah, Lizzie never had anything like that?"

"You said she’s taking birth control? prevent you from going through all the troubles us girls are doomed with in this horrible week we have to experience every month."

"I’m sorry."

"Why are you apologising? It’s not like it’s your fault?" she laughed.

"I don’t know. Sorry."

"So. What are you going to do now?"

"Bringing Lizzie her food. And then try to talk to her?"

"Yeah… I guess that’s the only thing you can do… if you need someone to talk later on, you can call me, okay? Anytime."

"Thanks Marta. Really!"

"No worries, Charles. Take care."

"You too, on both of you!"

"I will."

Fucking hell.

I watched Lizzie eat and sip on her milkshake, thinking about how to approach the topic. How do you ask your girlfriend if she’s pregnant?

"Thank you Charlie." she kissed my cheek while happily munching on her fries.

My palms were sweaty. I had to just ask her. That’s all I could do. Ask her. Talk to her.

"Lizzie? Can we talk?" I asked and she looked up, nodding "How do I put this? Umm- the last days… you’ve been a little…"

"Overly emotional? Squeamish?"

"Yeah?"

"I know… and I’m so sorry! I have no idea why!"

"You don’t?" I asked carefully and she cocked an eyebrow.

"No? Why would I?"

"Okay. Cara mia, you know that I love you, right? And whatever happens, we’re in this together, okay?"

"What are you even talking about?"

"Mood swings, weird cravings, stomach bug, exhaustion? Lizzie… I think you’re pregnant." I waited for her reaction. Waited for the realisation to hit her. Settling in. Her expression changing. And I expected everything… but not her throwing her head back laughing. Tears rolling down her cheeks. Wheezing.

"Pregnant?" she breathed out, clutching her stomach.

"Why are you laughing? The way you acted these past few days?" I looked at her puzzled.

"Charlie! I’m not pregnant! I’m on birth control!"

"It’s still possible!"

"Yeah maybe, but I’m definitely not pregnant!"

"What makes you so sure?"

"Hmm. I don’t know? Maybe my period that started today?" she chuckled a little, sipping on her shake.

"Okay? But why… why are you so emotional?" I felt stupid. Confused.

Lizzie looked at me for a while, then she groaned and got up, returning a moment later with a small blue package.

"Oh how I hate it when she’s right."

"Who? What do you mean?"

"Mum! She saw that it’s a different one! And she warned me that there could be side effects!"

"I have really no idea what you’re talking about?"

"I’m taking new birth control pills for a month now! Mum said it could be that while my body adjusts to the new pills I would go through some side effects!"

"Oh."

"Oh indeed."

"Will you now always be like this?" I almost whispered it.

"God, I hope not? I was never like this? I can’t do that once a month! I can’t turn into this monster? I mean? Charles, I was driving myself crazy with how I acted!" she panicked a little and I held her hand and squeezed it.

"You weren’t that bad!" I tried to reassure her.

"I was! I was a crazy bitch! I definitely have to speak with my doctor about it as soon as I’m back home!"

"Okay, yeah, do that!"

We sat in silence for the next minutes, both lost in our thoughts. And although the thought of having a baby with Lizzie was something I definitely wanted, it was a thought for the future. Something we had yet to talk about. For now, I was relieved. A pregnancy now, would’ve meant that Lizzie had to give up her dream she fought so hard for. All the sacrifices, the hours of hard work, the blood, sweat and tears. The horrible treatment of the media over the past months. It would’ve been all for nothing. And that would’ve been unfair.

"Charles?" Lizzie patted my arm and I looked at her "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Sure. I’m just… I’m relieved that we solved the mystery of your umm-…"

"Unstableness?" she laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"You weren’t that bad! I mean… you did insult my salad, which I thought tasted not too bad, so yeah maybe unstable is the right word."

"The salad was good! Really! I never experienced something like that. I hated everything in that moment, including myself. What a cliché. Girl on her period gets grumpy and whiney and has weird cravings?"

"A little, yes. And that’s all because you switched the pills?"

"Mum said it could happen. I didn’t expect it to be like this to be honest."

"But you never had it before? Does that mean that… umm did the old one- god why is this so weird?"

"Talking about birth control pills and my period? Well… if you think it’s weird for you? Imagine how I feel…" and she was right. I just realised now, how flushed her cheeks were.

"Okay. This shouldn’t be this awkward. It’s normal, right? I know what happens during your- period. It’s a natural thing. You’re my girlfriend. We’re grown ups, we can talk about it."

"I guess so."

"Did you always take birth control? I know you since we’re 8. I never saw you acting like this?"

"I had my first period with 14 almost 15. Actually a little later than anyone I knew. But because of the racing I asked Mum even before I had it the first time if I could take birth control to regulate or no, the better word would be schedule, it. She was a little hesitant but we went to a gynaecologist and I explained why I wanted it and it was okay. So yeah I always took it, for 10 years now and it’s always perfectly scheduled."

"I didn’t know that you can schedule it? So you always have it on the same days?" I was genuinely curious.

"I take the pills for 21 days. Then wait for 7 days and then take the next 21 pills. One package consists of 21 pills. And in that break in between I have my period."

"And your pill always took care of the side effects of a period?"

"Yep. And I really hope this one does as well. I mean as soon as my body adjusts to it."

"Okay. Now I’m well informed." I chuckled a little and pulled Lizzie closer, her cheeks still slightly read "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it’s just… I don’t even really talk with Mum about these kinda things? With Shima maybe, but yeah that’s it. But now with you? I guess I didn’t expect that?"

"Me neither, but it’s okay, no?"

"Weirdly yes?" she giggled a little and I kissed her temple "Shower, bed, movie?"

"Sounds good!"

After our last meeting I waited for Seb to leave his hospitality and waved him over.

"Lizzie, how are you?" he hugged me and I smiled.

"I’m good! You? How’s Hanna and the kids?"

"Oh you know us. All good."

"Yeah!" I chuckled a little nervously.

"So what is this secret little meeting about?"

"You remember that Spanish blogger? Journalist? Whatever? Yeah? I know he’s banned… but… can that ban be lifted?"

"Why? He was banned for 10 races, not 4."

"I know. It’s just that… I shouldn’t have give him this much attention! I should’ve just stand my ground! Ignore him. Be the bigger person. Show everyone that I don’t back down no matter what they’re throwing my way!"

"I don’t know Lizzie. There is a line when it’s just not tolerable anymore and he was crossing that quite a lot, especially after that article."

"I know. Sorry. I should’ve thought about that. Never mind."

"Is everything okay, Lizzie?"

"Yeah sure. I just wanted to, you know, held my head up and show the world that I don’t care about what they’re saying. Anyone. So having Diaz back here would be a good start. I’ve seen him ranting about how he got banned because of the article and many people said it’s only because I’m an emotional and sensitive girl that the FIA decided this… would something like this come up about another male driver they wouldn’t even react…"

"But you know it’s not true, right? Sure, the inappropriate questions he was asking was one of the reasons but that article played an even bigger part."

"Okay… thank you. I mean for yeah everything."

"I will talk with someone, maybe there is a way we can reduce the ban? Under certain conditions… I will let you know!" he hugged me and then left.

Back in my driver room I opened up Instagram and clicked on the family holiday dump. s.d.esp. That comment. I knew it was him. I could literally feel it. I opened a DM.

I talked to someone to lift your ban. I tried my best. The decision is out of my hands. The article was the main reason for the ban.

I watched the three dots anxiously. It felt like hours when the dots finally disappeared. And two words appeared.

Try harder.

"You’re quiet?" JK asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I’m focused."

"Okay, if you say so…"

"Yup."

We were warming up for quali and my stomach was still in turmoil. It was cramping like never before. Leaning against a wall I took a deep breath, watching how Andrea and Charles played football a couple of metres away. I picked up my jump rope and began again when Paul walked out with something to drink.

"Here."

"Thanks." I grabbed the bottle and took a sip before putting it down and warming up again, when a sharp pain in my lower stomach made me flinch "Fuck." I groaned.

"Are you okay?" Paul asked, grabbing my arm and I nodded "You’re pale?"

"I’m fine. I think I ate something bad." I mumbled and he stroked my arm up and down "I’m good. Really!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. I just need to warm up now. Need to focus." I grabbed the jump rope, that I dropped before and began my routine. JK coming back with a ball.

"Two sets and you’re done."

"Yeah."

I watched how Paul sat down on a box, his back to Charles and Andrea, who were still playing football. It didn’t even take 10 seconds for the ball flying through the air, hitting Paul in the back, making him jump up.

"Oooops! Sorry! Can you pass me the ball, please?" Charles shouted, a big grin on his face.

Paul mumbled something and threw the ball back, sitting back down on the box, right as the ball came flying back, hitting the back of his head. I could clearly see the anger rising in his face when Charles jogged over, casually picking up the ball, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I’m really sorry, mate! I guess now we now why I’m not a football player!" he chuckled and walked back to Andrea and I saw them high five.

"I go back to our garage, before he uses me as target again." Paul seethed and left.

"That was purely intentional…" JK laughed and I sighed a little.

"Yeah… probably."

"Good. Paul needs to back the hell off. I don’t know how many signals you already sent him to leave you alone, he doesn’t seem to get it."

"Uh-huh." I felt another wave of pain.

"Okay. What is going on? You’re in pain. I’ve seen it the past days every then and now? What’s going on?" JK took the jump rope out of my hand and pushed me down on the box.

"Nothing serious…"

"Care to share?"

"No."

"Hey cara mia, are you okay?" Charles stood in front of me.

"Yeah… it’s…" I sighed and pointed at my stomach and he looked at me confused but then he understood.

"Oh okay? Still?" he sat down next to me and I leaned against him.

"It sucks. I feel hot and my suit is like it’s too tight on me. God I hate it."

"You sure you can drive?" he whispered and I nodded.

"I have to. But I need to focus. I need to set my fastest lap at my first try."

"Can you just focus on driving safe?"

"I’ll try."

"Lizzie."

"Hey, that’s more than enough. I can’t do more right now!"

"Okay. Now come on. It’s almost time." he jumped down from the box and helped me get off.

Q1 was fine. No cramps. No nothing. But right as I started setting a time in Q2 another cramp made me flinch and I under steered. Knowing that correcting my mistake would cost some time, I decided to abort the lap.

"I need another out lap and then try again."

"Copy. Tyres looking good."

"Okay."

I inwardly cursed. I definitely had to talk to my doctor back home. I never felt this uncomfortable in the cockpit. The heat was abnormal and the pressure of the g forces, never a problem before, made me feel like my body could burst at any minute. But I had to work through it. I couldn’t let this stop me. I rounded the last corner and accelerated. Focus. I could do that. No matter what happened.

"That’s currently P3. Good job."

"Who’s still on track?"

"Charles, Max, Perez, Norris, Hamilton."

"Okay. I’m coming in."

"Alright."

I made it into Q3 and was ready to set a time. Determined to not let anything stop me, a red flag crashed all my hopes.

"That’s P6, Lizzie."

"Is Lando okay?"

"Yes, he is."

"Alright. Good job, guys."

I jumped out of the car, ready to get rid off my suit, which felt so uncomfortable. I shrugged out of it, rolled it down to my waist.

"You’re sweaty…" JK looked at my soaked fireproofs and I sighed.

"I feel like I’ve been in a sauna for hours. I need a shirt or something."

"Here’s a hoodie."

"Thanks."

As soon as I changed into the hoodie Julie picked me up for the interviews.

I walked back to the pits, shaking my head in disbelief. Helmet still on. Not even 2 laps in and my race was already over. After an amazing start, overtaking George and Carlos right at the start, the latter was retaliating with a risky move, slashing my whole side pod open, forcing me to retire the car. I watched as some cars used the safety car to pit early and sighed. I felt good today. After the last 3 days full of cramps and just don’t feeling like myself in the car, today was a good day. I was confident to achieve a good result, maybe even a podium today, and that start just proved me right.

"I’m sorry, guys. Maybe I didn’t leave him enough space?" I said as I walked up to the Audi pit wall, hugging Felix.

"You couldn’t do anything to prevent it. He drove straight into you. It’s under investigation."

"Okay."

I thanked my mechanics and the rest of the team and went straight to my interviews. Just to get it over with.

"Sorry again, Lizzie. More luck next week in Monza, hopefully!" Rachel Brookes from SkyUK waved me goodbye and I forced a smile.

"I go and change, then I’ll be back in the garage." Julie only nodded and left me alone. I changed and grabbed my phone, returning to the garage, where I grabbed a headset and sat down, watching the race. Charles did well, he didn’t struggle as much as he anticipated it. He battled with George more than once, switching between P2 and P3. Unfortunately Valtteri had to retire his car in lap 55 due to an . And our garage went dead silent. No one spoke, we all just watched how a mad Valtteri returned back to the garage, thanking the whole team, plopping down next to me. I patted his back and he sighed.

"Not the best weekend for us."

"Nope absolutely not." I chuckled bitterly and watched how Charles came closer to Max, but George also closer to Charles. Another lap gone as Charles reported that his tyres were gone and he was right, he slipped around the track and I wished the race was over every couple of seconds. And when it finally was, Max had won his home Grand Prix, with George in P2 and Charles in P3.

"Hey Lizzie." Joris hugged me when I joined him, waiting for Charles "Sorry about your race."

"Don’t worry, it’s okay." I said and he put his arm around my shoulder.

"Next week in Monza you’ll be back on the podium."

"If you say so!" I laughed and he squeezed my shoulder, right as Charles parked his car and got out.

"I know so!" Joris said, determined and I nodded.

"Okay. I believe in your words!"

Charles thanked his team when he saw me, taking his helmet off and Joris pushed me right into him.

"Good job, Charlie!" I smiled and he pulled me into him.

"I’m so sorry that your race ended this early, cara mia." he whispered and I nodded "Are you okay? Did you crash out?"

"No?" I sighed, he didn’t know what happened "I had to retire because my side pod was slashed open…" he pulled away, looking at me with big eyes.

"What happened?"

"Umm… I overtook George and Carlos right at the start and- well when Carlos had the chance to overtake he drove straight into me." I could see the wheels turning in his head, his look changing from confusion to anger.

"I had no idea…" he began but I shook my head.

"It doesn’t matter, it’s done! You go celebrate your P3 now! Come on!" I cheered him on and he hugged me before he walked off.

"It sucks, sure, but it is what it is." I sighed and Charles shook his head.

"It’s unfair! He didn’t even get a penalty? He went straight into you!" Charles was pacing back and forth "I honestly don’t know why he targets you all the damn time? What did you do to him?"

"I was honest? Criticised the team for favouring him in races where they shouldn’t have? I don’t know and I don’t care…"

"Lizzie… I don’t want you guys ruining each other’s races over and over again…" he sighed and sat down next to me.

"I never did anything! Tell him!"

"I already did! But I will have a talk with him again… this is getting out of hand."

"Next weekend is Monza. He will try everything to leave me behind…"

"Yeah. Monza."

"Don’t worry. I will only say nice things about Ferrari." I rolled my eyes.

"Lizzie…" he began but I leaned into him, putting my head on his shoulder.

"It’s okay, I really try my best to not say anything… I did it last week, I did it this week, even after your teammate ended my race, next week I’ll just do the same."

"I hate asking that of you." Charles sighed and kissed my head.

"You’re not asking for it, I’m just doing it… I know how Ferrari works. I don’t want to get you into trouble."

"What did I do to deserve you?" he whispered and I laughed and sat up, looking into his eyes.

"You’re the perfect guy, that’s what you did!" I kissed his cheek.

"Oh come on!" he laughed "When I’m the perfect guy, then you’re the perfect girl!"

"Probably not but okay." Charles rolled his eyes and pulled me into him.

"I just want this day to be over and fly back home, have a nice and relaxing day with you before the Monza madness starts." he whispered against my neck.

"Me too."

"I don’t want to leave you. I want to stay here. Stupid meeting."

"It will be alright. Come on. Off you go." I laughed and he groaned but got up.

"Okay. But only if I get a kiss." he sighed dramatically and I chuckled, cupping his cheeks and pulling him closer.

"If you insist." I sighed and put my lips onto his pillowy ones. He kissed me softly and I smiled into our kiss.

"Now I have the energy to leave…" he kissed my nose and straightened his back "I’ll pick you up." I nodded and he left.

After a couple of moments I got up as well, when I saw someone approaching me cautiously. As soon as I saw who it was, I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"Lizzie." her voice overly sweet.

"Sylvia, how can I help you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why would you be lurking around behind the Audi hospitality if you’re not looking for me?"

"I’m not lurking around. I was looking for Charles."

"You just missed him."

"Good."

"Good." I said and turned a little, but she didn’t move "Just say whatever you have to say."

"Next weekend is important for us. Our team. As well as our drivers."

"I’m aware."

"We can’t have negative media attention."

"Wouldn’t be too good for you."

"So you agree?

"Agree?"

"That you shouldn’t be criticising Ferrari at this special weekend?"

"Ahhh, now we get to it. You want me to stay silent."

"Yes."

"You know, if Ferrari won’t fuck up, I will stay silent. It’s as easy as that." before she could reply I walked away.

I wouldn’t say anything about Ferrari, for Charles, I knew how much Monza meant to him. But Sylvia didn’t need to know that.

Little Note:

Chapter 24 - Well, nothing special happened here. I had some anons regarding my chapter length, so I tried to keep it a little shorter than usually this time. I also was asked about how and if Lizzie’s period would affect her on a race weekend. So I tried to bring it in a little. I googled a little and also talked with friends about well their period 😅 as someone who never had any issues at all, I had to find some sources 🤷🏻‍♀️

Next chapter: MONZA…

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[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job, Post 346: A Sunday at Melissa's, p4

The clock was chiming again as the two of us climbed the stairs. Well, she was climbing. I was in her arms. It was, I dunno, nine or something, maybe eleven. I was already exhausted from the morning I’d had. In the past hour I’d found my phone busted, been wrung dry by a hand job into the pool, and - oh yeah - nearly drowned. So, I couldn’t help but take the chance to close my eyes, and  luxuriate in her embrace as she carried me. Melissa was so strong, so confident, and this weekend I’d gotten to a place where I could put my pride aside and more easily accept her comforts. But, as relaxed as I was, the first bell toll caused my eyes to shoot open. It felt like it was ringing for me. 

“Where’s that clock?” I asked, curious. Hearing it from the kitchen earlier, I would have sworn it was in the great room near the stairs. Now that we were on the stairs, it sounded like it could be coming from the kitchen.

“Shhh, don’t worry about the clock,” Melissa hushed me, smiling down at me warmly, strangely. Anyway, she was bringing me back up to the bedroom for a shower, to clean off the chlorine and whatever remnants of last night still clung crusty to me. And, despite the heat of her body, a cold chill still ran down my spine. I needed a warming up. 

Quietly we passed down the open balcony hall that overlooked the great room, through her bedroom and into her en-suite bath. It was done simply but elegantly in creamy stone tiles, with natural light coming in from an overhead skylight. A glass wall separated a walk-in shower from which chrome fixtures and a huge rainhead shower glistened. 

With me still in her arms, she turned on the shower and let the water warm. “Can you stand by yourself?” she asked. 

“I think so,” I answered, without really even considering why she’d asked. Did you expect me to forget how to stand? Walk? Maybe not too unreasonable; I’d apparently just lost the ability to swim.

With great care she placed me down, and stepped me backwards under the deluge from above. My legs actually were shaky but ahhhhh the water was nice, perfectly warm. Patterned marble tiles were underfoot, larger stone ones lining the walls, while a chrome drain whisked water away. Melissa smiled at my obvious pleasure, still wrapped in a figure-hugging white towel and matching turban. She stood just outside the shower stall, on the other side of a low stone threshold. 

“So,” she began, her eyes having already drifted up from my feet, “Do you want to wash yourself or do I get to bathe you?”

“Um,” I started, eyeing the vast selection of gels, shampoos and other assorted bottles and tubes which lined an inset shelf to my left. I was confused by my options and the whiffs I got of her perfume reminded me of how good she was at being a woman, and how inept a man I was. 

Was this pheromone 0001.55.6344.gf, .6388.dd or .6349.gd you were using on me at that moment? Maybe a cocktail? Remind me to ask you later.

 I crossed my hands in front of me, unsure of myself. “Can you help?” I asked. 

“Of course, sweetie,” she beamed, and reached for the handheld spray attachment mounted to the wall. She turned on its water, checked its temperature, and crouched so she could begin to shower my body with its firm spray. “Is this coming out too hard, baby?” she asked, with earnest concern, looking up at me with honest eyes, “I can turn it down if it’s too much.”

“n-no it’s okay,” I answered, glimpsing down between her full breasts. Her towel was tied at the chest, and cleavage jiggled. As if enjoying the attention, she smiled as she adjusted the pressure and temperature making it just that much better. The spray from the shower wand was strong, but felt nice down my chest, up under my arms as she lifted my right wrist, then the left. It felt particularly good when - nnngh - she passed it between my legs, sprayed it up into my nethers. It gave me a jolt of pleasure, the jet pulsing into my scrotum and, goddamn me, I felt a new erection start to swell. The overhead water continued to wash over me as well. 

“Well, tell me if it’s too much,” she said, the evenness in her voice and straight face belying the fact that she was obviously paying special attention to my manhood, exciting it with the handheld spray. She tweaked the water pressure again, adjusted the temperature. 

My cock responded. Oh my god, that feels amazing, even better.

“That okay?” she asked.

“y-y-yes…” I managed, trying to keep from writhing in pleasure.

“You sure?” she pressed, “You seem so sensitive. If you're uncomfortable I can always just sit you up next to the sink, scrub you up with a washcloth instead.”

What, and make me feel even more like a newborn? “N-no I’m fine,” I assured, my cock betraying my thoughts with an excited throb. She proceeded to firmly spritz my whole body with the wand, passing it up my sides, over my arms and legs. Down my chest and belly. My boner was on its way back, at half-swollen mast, gradually growing under the warm attention of her shower and the tingles it brought. It felt great against my cock, as she paid it special service, watching it with curiosity as it  bobbed and swayed slowly hardening further under the pressure. “That feels really nice,” I admitted, suddenly craving her hand, or a mouth. 

With a wry smile she looked up at me before standing, to her full height. Her breasts were right in front of my face. She replaced the spray wand to its wall mount, though water still jetted from its nozzles. I tried to watch her face, read her expression, but my attention was immediately pulled toward her hands as she undid the big knot in her towel, which bound it to her chest. With more than a small amount of drama the towel fell, revealing her naked body. I couldn’t help but groan she was so perfect, her curves so jaw-droppingly stunning. By god her waist was small, her hips so flared. Well-trimmed womanhood lay between the cleft of thick, powerful thighs and legs which would shame a racehorse. Her tummy was softly trim and tanned, navel formed to vertical perfection,  the hint of her abdominals rippling beneath taut, flawless skin. And above, god help me, her breasts hung huge, giant globes just two shades paler than the rest of her, each a firm, ovate melon with large brown nipples, tan aureoles. My eyes looked up into enormous, monumental underboob, and saw the faint pattern of blue veins just under her skin’s surface. She was huge, huge! How tall had she become?! My god, I felt tiny. 

She giggled, amused by my awestruck expression, and pulled the towel from her hair. She shook her dark mane, semi-dry, and looked back down at me. She watched as I backed up as she stepped into the shower. Warm water from the ceiling now flowed over both of us. She reached for a bottle of shampoo, and squeezed some into her hand. With the other, she turned me around, and from behind her hands began rubbing my hair. I could feel her fingers firmly scrubbing my scalp, massaging shampoo into my sodden hair, a lather foaming up. My eyes fluttered under the indulgence of her attention as she worked it into my head, cleaning everything around my ears, rubbing the back of my neck with frothy shampoo.

To rinse, she pulled me back a bit, more fully under the rainhead and began to speak again to me. “So, tell me. How do you feel about our relationship dynamic now?” she asked, shielding my eyes with a hand over my brow, “Hm?”

“Wh-what do you mean?” I asked, water sputtering from my lips. I was a little surprised by the suddenness of her question. 

“Can’t you feel it changing again?” she said plainly, rubbing my hair under the showerfall to clear it of soap. “Because I can,” she continued, as she reached for something else behind her, from the shower shelf. She was squeezing something else from a bottle. “I can feel myself becoming more dominant over you, again. But in a like big mama-bear kinda way.” She was rubbing what sounded like gel between her hands, frothing it up. “And you’re getting more submissive, more dependent on me, weaker.”

“Wow, uh…” I began, not really knowing what to say. Whatever pride I still had, whatever vestiges of male ego and authority still rattled away inside my shattered soul rankled a bit at her suggestions…even though my cock again betrayed me with a throb. Yes, yes, yes. I was in a tough time, in life. Struggling a bit with my health, my sense of self worth. I’d found her, and I’d latched on a bit, I admit, to her strength. She was an entrancing beauty, to boot, young and vibrant, and it had been easy to allow myself to fall into her shadow, to let her establish herself as the stronger partner despite her age. I was content to watch her bloom bigger and bigger and more gorgeous seemingly every day while I seemed to recede. But still, her words stung a bit. “I dunno, about that, real-”

With shower gel in her hands, she’d reached around and grabbed my cock with her left hand. If it wasn’t at full stiffness before, now it certainly was. My voice, stopped in my throat, became little more than a guttural whimper as lightning coursed up my body from her grip. She lathered up my erection, then her  hand passed dutifully under my sac to clean me underneath.

“You were saying..?” she prompted me, a gentle squeeze to my testicles reminding me who was in charge. 

Yeah, uh, nope. I was speechless, struck, and she knew it. My body quivered and quaked, threatened to collapse at the knees as she kept up the pressure on my tender gonads. She held me for a bit and then - pleased by my acquiescent silence - moved her hand back up for a stroke up my shaft.

“Good boy,” she purred.

Her big, slippery left hand worked my cock with slick expertise. She knew exactly how to keep me frozen, paralyzed, quivering at her touch. Her other hand, also slathered with frothy gel, now ran down my backside, under and then up, between the cheeks of my butt. I gasped, flinched, and tried to keep from crying out as she lathered me up in there as well. She ran her hand up and down, in and out, gently but with confident command, as her left hand still stroked my erection. This…that…this was almost too much. I writhed, twisted, and began to pull away from her.

"Ugh, such a squirmy wormy," she said, giggling. I could hear her eyes rolling in mock annoyance, and she gripped my cock tighter, to bring me to heel. "Will you settle down and stop being such a baby?” She paused for a moment, then, gears turning. "Hmm..." she said, a playful smirk brightening her voice, "Forget that. Give in to those urges.” She began to stroke my cock again, and her voice dropped to an indulgent, baby-doll coo. “You can be as much of a baby as you want,” she said, as if now talking to a small child, “I promise mama will take good care of you."

Did she feel me shiver? Did she feel me shake? She heard me whine, for sure, because she began to giggle. While her left kept a grip on my cock her right hand left my butt and she spun me around by the shoulder to push me against the tile of the wall. The stone, for the second, was a shock of cold. Hand still on my shoulder, leaning in over me, Melissa bent me at the knees a bit and then put her right palm on the wall above me. She dropped her shoulder a touch, bringing her huge right breast to bump into my face. 

“Y-you have really big breasts…” I found myself saying, in awe at its size as she pulled it away, just a bit, so I could stare at its tumescence from below. 

“Mmhm I do…” Melissa chuckled, her great, wet, pale breast wobbling with her laughter. It was, my god, maybe twice the size of my head, if not more. She waited for me to continue, to see if I had any other observations, but seemed to be pleased with the quieting effect it had on me. Hypnotizing, isn’t it little man?

Yes. I watched water streaming off it, water running over her shoulder from above, down her breasts, over her nipple in thick rivulets. I saw how her areola was swelling, the little bumps of Montgomery glands forming, her nipple thickening in the warm, warm water.

“oh my god….” I groaned, as I watched the dribbles, rivers.

“Thirsty?” she asked, from above, “Open up.” 

Without a thought I complied, opening my mouth as she continued to stroke my cock below. Like a needy bird I eyed the warm water streaming off of her breast above me.

Adjusting her shoulder scantly, coming in closer, she directed the rivulets onto my face, splashing onto my forehead and eyes, running down my nose and cheeks. She shifted again, and I turned my head to the left, so her wet nipple now dribbled everything right to my open mouth from inches away. I gurgled, and took it, and swallowed.

“There you go, cutie..!” she giggled, and watched as I opened my mouth again for more shower water, warm from the rainhead, warm from her skin. “Drink up, that’s right, drink up…”

I held my mouth open, longer, longer, let it fill, until water bubbled out. Then I closed, gagging a bit into another swallow, warmth down my throat. I swear I tasted her in it, and I reopened. 

She came in closer, dropping, bringing her nipple now right to my lips, to my open mouth. I closed, latching loosely onto her warm nipple, water still coming into my mouth from her areola, I sucked and drank the shower’s water now directly from her breast, from her skin. I swallowed, and gulped, awkwardly and clumsily. She pushed her engorged nipple more into my mouth, gently forcing it open further for me to accept her tit. The water was now dribbling around my lips as I let her push her nipple in. Whatever this was, whatever game she was playing, I was not resisting, I was only letting it happen.

Nipple in my mouth, I lapped at it, I suckled water from it. She took, then, the handheld spray and adjusted the stream’s volume so it gurgled water out rather than sprayed, and layed it atop her right breast, near her shoulder. Water now came down to me in a thicker flow, burbling and bubbling around my mouth, running over my nose and cheeks. She was giggling again, and I was sucking and drinking as best I could, mouthing at her nipple and gargling the warm water from it. It was thick with her pheromones, now I was sure, and instincts inside me made me latch on tighter, not wanting to ever leave this position.

“Oh, Jayyyyheyheyheyheyyyyyy…!” she giggled and purred, cooing down to me, trying her best not to just  give in and squash my face with her tit, “You’re making me feel like a real mommmyyyyyyyyy…” Rather than plaster me with her breast, mush my head into the wall, she wanted to let me keep water-nursing, play-suckling from her. Go, baby, go, drink up, drink up from me. Her giggles had faded, replaced by little groans.

Water flowed into my mouth, when I would come for breath, and it gave me life. I drank, I drank and I suckled and drank. I felt Melissa starting to tremble in arousal above me and it was only then that I realized holy shit holy shit…her hand…her hand…I’m about to come.

I fought it back but nnngh oh my god I was close, it was coming. My hand reached for her, and found her womanhood between her legs. I cupped it, stroked up just once and then she shuddered. All it took was one stroke, fingers already soaked. She had been leaning forward more, now unable to keep her ample tits from plastering my head into the wall, and as I suckled water from her she was coming, orgasming, shaking and pushing me harder into the wall as she groaned. I came, then, too, in a burst and a muffled bark into her tit worried even in my climax that I might both smother and drown. Or I might be head-crushed to a pulp or fall to the floor as my legs trembled and gave out from under me.  The weight of Melissa's chest was really the only thing keeping me standing. My panicked moans resonated through her boobs only increasing her pleasure as her hand continued to move firmly along my shaft. My jism had splashed first against her upper hip and thigh, a pulse, and then another and another and another, each washed down her leg by the water warm flowing down her, around us, down our bodies. 

After a minute, a few wet damp tender moments in which we pleasured one another, my hand on her, hers on me, her breast in my face and nipple in my mouth as our climaxes waned, she pulled me away. Warm water still washed us as we basked in the afterglow, her hair was dark and wet over her shoulders and face. “Oh my God, Jay…” she breathed, chest heaving, looking down at me as if with new eyes. The shower wand had been dropped, forgotten, dangling from the wall on its chrome hose, gurgling out water still.

I looked up at her, blinking shower water from my eyes. I didn’t know how to react, I just looked at her. I was so scared of what this meant for our relationship.

“Stay here,” she said, finally, turning off the water and turning to step from the shower. She was retrieving two huge new, white towels from a rack on the wall. One she draped over my head and shoulders, its long folds reaching well down past my waist, while she dried herself with the other. Motionless I watched her, entranced by both the impressive muscles under her smooth, perfect skin and the soft contours and jiggles of her body’s curves. She finished with herself quickly, and then turned to reach down and place her towel around the one already covering me, wrap them both tightly around my entire body, my arms bound to my sides, until nearly all that showed of me was my face and maybe my feet sticking out the bottom. She then swept me up into her strong arms and carried me into the bedroom.

I know no man can really remember what it was like when he was an infant wrapped in blankets and cradled in his mother's arms. I certainly did not - I barely remembered my mother at all - and yet, completely swaddled in those huge, soft towels and cuddled securely against her naked chest with my head tucked against her strong shoulder, looking up in amazement at those beautiful, larger-than-life features looming so close above my own, that's exactly how I felt. Her smile was wide, warm, benevolent and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to be hers, to be held and loved and cared for by this magnificent giantess.  That she seemed more than human, a goddess of power and beauty, was beginning to be less and less of an exaggeration. To have my body literally melt into hers and become one with hers forever would be a dream come true.

She carried me to a large, soft chair in the corner of her bedroom and sat down in it, placing me on her naked lap. With my head still tucked against her shoulder, my entire body still swaddled, she dried my face and hair with a corner of the towel. Then, as I fell deeper and deeper under the spell of the warmth and softness of her naked body, she dried the rest of me with little pats and hugs through the towels encasing my body.

“Do you see this, do you see how we are here, you and me?” she finally spoke to me, “This is right. This is how it’s meant to be.”

I looked up at her and blinked, unable to find any of the words I needed to say. I felt her left arm reach under me and lift. Cradling me now in her arms, she gently lowered me down to rest my head on her huge right breast. I looked up at her from her boob, my left cheek near her nipple. 

“I could be good at this. I could be very, very good at this,” she said to me, adjusting my body in her strong arms, “All you need to do is want it, and let me grow. Let me grow into it.”

Did I know what she meant? Did I really know, understand, comprehend what she meant? I don’t know if I did, but I felt it. I felt the bond between us stronger now than ever. 

“So is it? Is it what you want? Tell me. Tell me this is what you want.”

Of course it is. 

“y-yes…” I said. 

“Yes what, sweetie?” she prompted. She needed to hear me say it. 

“this is what I want…”

“Good boy…” she nearly groaned, and - I feel it changing again, already, inside my body - turned my face into her breast. On instinct I opened, took her nipple in, and latched on….

========================================

Thanks muchly to ResistanceIsFutile, editor in residence

Patreon? Patreon.

#growing into the job

[sirfdabba]

Today I walked through the alleys of my hometown. I wanted to have a particular type of biscuits and not the ones which were available in the Kitchen. Thus I walked down to this small shop located a few steps away from my house. But the shop was closed. I was going to return back but then the Aajis who sit in the temple, singing their bhajan, called me. Its been a while since I talked to them. The Temple has changed a lot, they renovated it when I was in 12th grade but I was too busy back then preparing for CLAT, studying for boards that I never sat in the renovated temple. The temple was never a religious place for me you know, rather it was a Sunday picnic spot. A dongar-ka-paani, khaamb khaamb, kaanda phod, lappa chappi, mini lingorcha, playground. It was the place where I used to wait for my Rickshaw at 6:30 am on the wintry mornings, wear saree draped out of a chunri and get married to that one boy whose name I have forgotten, do the Taewondo thingy and spread rumors that I have enough power and skill to kill everybody in the town.

It was the place where I ate the offerrings offered to the deities and never felt bad. I talked to those idols while the Dogs barked and Sun took time to rise, I played with religion while the elders prayed (sometimes begged) their hearts out to that black, adorable tortoise. I was obsessed with the Temple's bell you know, was way too short, thus couldnt ring it with my bare hands. But I had found a stick of perfect length using which, the little Sau used to play with the bell while singing songs ranging from Chikni Chameli to Jana Gana Mana (Indeed, all with beautifully distorted lyrics). I am obsessed with flowers ever since I was a child. On weekends, waking up, collecting flowers from the nooks and corners of Sandesh colony, and making a gajra, and two maalas - one for the Saibaba at home and one for all the gods in the temple, was an integral part of my life. The 19 year old Sau says, she is non-religious, the 9 year old didnt know what does religious actually mean, but both of them would wholly agree to the fact that, some way or the other they both subscribe to the religion of flowers. Sometimes, when I liked the flowers that were offered to the Idols, I used to do a trade-off. I would keep my ordinary flower with them and take their rose or sonchafa or pink hibiscus. When anyone would scold me for doing it, I would, quite emohatically say, say, that, "Its between me and god." (Actually, that was the answer that Mumma told me to give to the hecklers. She has always been the best, I know)

Today, with anxiety medicines awaiting me in my pencil box, I thought to myself, " Ohh what an irreplaceable entity this temple has been!" After talking to those Aajis, I changed my mind and walked a few more steps to buy "Top biscuits." I was wearing a woollen knitted sweater and capri night pant, a kind of costume which I would never go out in, anywhere else on the face of earth. I have been wearing that pant ever since I was in tenth grade. I studied for boards, CLAT and now IPC in the very same piece of cloth. Sometimes I seriously wonder, have I stopped growing or what? Is tgis what "stagnancy" feel like. What if I am stuck in a puddle and now, unaware, unconcious, I have made it my world. But then, I this Uncle, who had pulled me up while I had fallen down while driving my purple scooty pept for the first time in my life, which gave me a smidgen of hope that I can at least drive a scooty without falling down forty times in a ride. I convinced myself that I am growing, slower than a balloon maybe, or ecen a cloud, but yes not stagnant yet.

While walking down that street, I could vividly see my childhood running like an animated movie infront of my eyes. Ohh I was a ruckus, a commotion back then. What all did I not do. All the streets, all the corners of those streets, all the houses on those streets and all the people who lived in those houses, knew my name. They kind of hated me. Not their fault, I was an unbearably notorious, an intractable child. How streets change, I thought. The place where there was a cherry tree, now holds within its bosom a two storeyed bunglow. I wondered, does that piece of land ever miss that Tree? Does it remember that I used to spend so much time finding a "good cherry" back in my salad days? I am a self-absorbed person, I thought. Does that land like that Bunglow? If given a choice, what would the land pick: Cherry tree or the Bunglow?

My biscuit excursion made me wonder, how arcane yet how simple it is that, no matter what, nobody stops. Actually, no body can afford to stop. Everyone is evolving, everyone has to evolve, evolution is not a choice. The choice to stay the same is also a kind of an evolution, if you think about it. Even the streets, even the electricity poles, everything had changed. Not holistically, of course (I mean they havent started painting it saffron as of now, might happen very soon but yeah), still everything bore a tinge of change to itself. I noticed how have repainted the "Danger" sign on the main electricity pole. While walking down from Tuition, I used to reread that "Khatra" written below a skull and two bones, everyday. I learned to read the term "Khatra" from that poll only. The cornermost flat, on the ground floor, of Chaitanya Apartments has made a compound, have installed a gate you know. It made me wonder, now where would all the street dogs sleep on the hot, sweltering afternoons. They even rebuilt the half-broken edges of the public waste bin on the way to my Tuition.

All that I observed, all that my approximately blind eyes could point out, stirred something inside. I was seeing something beyond those physical structures. All the abstractness that came back to me, while I walked down a half-dug, non-concerete, uneven rocky street, was not memories, neither nostalgia; rather it was a realization. Realization, that how, stopping and staring is possibly the most important thing to do, perhaps more important than inhaling and exhaling the polluted air, that a life is a wasted life where one didnt stop and aimlessly stared.

#desi academia #dark academia quotes #tumblr #life #love #desi aesthetic #dark acadamia aesthetic #deep quotes #heartache #cinema

[willowser]

willow! happy sunday! ahh so i spent my morning curled up in bed reading pt1 & 2 of ‘southern charm’! and oh my goodness. cowboy bakugou…we all needed this in our life.

i have kind of come off a binge of the show ‘yellowstone’ (cowboy show lol)— which funny enough, i was telling my friend as i binged id never thought cowboys were hotter till that show..but now; i think it has been topped with ‘southern charm’ 😆!

i think the entire setting suits bakugou’s personality so well! in pt1 i really feel like reader was living out a fantasy we all have been guilty of — like hot guy in a bar eyeing you up. and also i think the breakup is a one sided love, sadly loads of us know. so just felt so easy to slip into reader’s mindset (at least for me!). side note: chisaki for the role of germaphobe-cold-ex(?)-bf is so perfect. he isn’t someone i see featured in a lot of fics and so it was a lovely surprise to me and it suits the story so well!

okay so back to thirsting over bakugou — i loved how the entire night he was making sure reader was ‘good’ and re-assuring and calming…and just kept helping reader get out of their own head! and then when he loses his composure for a second finally when he goes to get the condom…i was so into this moment lol. seeing his cool exterior break for a second ahhhh!

so then pt2! ahh i just felt that ‘snap’ happen as he gives reader the “well…i got things to do…” bit, and i know at least a few times in my life i have so badly wanted to let it all out like that. to just stomp away with all that rage, and have the confidence to do it. but its just quick explosion of feelings, because once all that anger is burned through, and the adrenaline gone…the inevitable break down that hits. so for reader to make it all the way to their sister’s house and finally crumble under the weight of all the emotions…it was so incredibly well written & we could feel it.

ah so last note — as i feel like i could ramble on forever whenever i stop by someone’s inbox: i love kirishima and yume’s family, and how i dont think the reader is “jealous” of yume for having this life, but def has a tug of longing while flipping thru all those photos? maybe something like that.. esp coming off the breakup…i am so excited to see where the story will continue but absolutely love all the build up so far! will be lovely to see how everything comes together! i know you had a stressful time getting part 2 out but it was so worth it and all your hard work really shows. thank you for sharing it with us!

so wait — last last note: the snippets of what i am assuming are reader’s story they are working on (?), add another layer to the story as well! very interested in seeing how reader’s experiences are going to shape their own writing…(if i totally got this wrong pls ignore this 😶‍🌫️)

ok done rambling on — pls have a lovely lovely rest of your weekend! ♥️

rin 🥺 dear 🥺 i have been — saving this in my inbox to look back on, because it is so sweet and close to my heart and has been such a blessing to receive ! thank you so much for not only taking the time to read, but for sending this in !!

i'm actually so happy that you mentioned kiri's family ! i think you are the first to do so ! i am vicariously living through them. yume is me. bakugou who. i don't care about him, i just want cowboy kirishima and our lovely two children LOL but i am really glad that how reader-chan feels is coming across correctly, because you are absolutely right; it's not that she's really jealous of her sister, but she just wants to know what that feels like, too, that's all. and it's hard to watch someone get that over and over again, and for you not to receive a crumb ! so i'm really glad there isn't any hostility being read into the text there.

and yes ! the snippets of frances and the stranger in between are meant to be the book reader is working on, and i'm glad that it's clear those two interactions are being a little shaped by what's going on in reader's own life. i hope you enjoy what is to come between those two firecrackers !

again, thank you so much for leaving me such a wonderful message ! it really was hell getting this thing up LOL but to hear your appreciation and receive your praise makes it all worth it, in the end 🌸✨💐🌙

#sorry i am so late on replyin #i just wanted it to myself for a little while ☺️ #✿ ask willow

[capriciousme]

 .  My Christmas bucket-list

  My wardrobe was crying out for attention. My kitchen needed sprucing up. My garden needed to be tended, cut, weeded and manured. The drawing room ( as was every corner of the room)

needed thorough cleaning. The ceiling fans looked like they  could do with some cleaning. The white fans weren’t looking white anymore. The dust settled on them had started to give a different hue to it. And a visit to my aged parents was long overdue. My Nephew  had recently been blessed with a daughter. And I was longing to hold her and cuddle the bundle of joy. In short my life was PENDING from every possible angle.

The CHRISTMAS weekend was approaching and I was looking forward to it. I had mentally made a list of things to do and resolved to tackle all that was pending in my life. Being a Hindu, Christmas is just another day for us. My daughter visits some of her friends to wish and make merry. For lunch we make something special and maybe, cut a cake. And that’s Christmas for us. So, I decided I am going to keep the cooking to the minimum and start early on Saturday.  Went to bed on Friday with steel  resolution . Nothing could stop me now. I had become lazy and I am going to be on  my feet and organize my life.

Come Saturday morning. Being December in Hyderabad, Needless to say, it was chilly. A morning where the bed is the only place to be. …….getting out of the bed is a big task, a HERCULEAN task. Understandably, I woke up late. Actually very late.

The steel resolution seemed to be playing hide and seek with me.

Very lazily and perfunctorily I went through the cooking part.  Though the menu was simple, it was a challenge. The cozy bed in the bedroom  kept teasing and inviting me. And like a stubborn child, wouldn’t stop till I yielded to its tantrums.

Ultimately, I gave in. I didn’t have a choice. Having raised two kids, I am experienced in these matters. When a child is very stubborn  and is  throwing tantrums, the best way to tackle is, by giving in. This was one of those occasions. 

After an hour of blissful sleep, I got up, went through the ordeal called LUNCH, And needless to say, went back to sleep. Its always hard giving in the first time. Then it becomes a cake walk. 

And so the day went by. Blissful and uneventful.  Blissful sleep, and uneventful for lack of any activity.

Come Sunday, the day Of Christmas. The Whole World was enjoying and in a merrymaking mood.

And the morning was chilly. Biting cold( winter mornings are meant to be cold and chilly). And all my imaginary woes and pains were back. I could feel aches and pains in the parts of body I never knew existed.

How could I get up early and do all the stuff which were physically challenging. I had to think like a human being and rightly decided not be so harsh with myself…… and continued to sleep.

So the day went by.

 Later in the afternoon, I pulled myself out of bed and we decided to visit my parents and nephew.

MY parents were happy to see us. And my nephew’s daughter is a bundle of joy. It is rightly said that nothing matches the joy of  watching a baby’s smiling face. Any regret  or sense of guilt(if any) was soon forgotten.

Long after we returned home, her presence with us lingered on.

To put things in a nutshell, I could accomplish only one item out of my weekend bucket-list. 

All I did was sleep. The visit to my parents place was the only thing worth mentioning. Yet,I was happy with myself . And this set me thinking.  

Though the tasks I had allocated myself for the weekend, left unattended, I was feeling good fresh and well rested. Ready to take on another week or month of all challenges that life has to throw at me.

And I go back to sleep( again) with the realization that one doesn’t really have to be perfect all the time and every time . It’s  okay to have the house in not so perfect condition.  Once in a while take time off for yourselves and feel pampered .By doing so we are investing time on ourselves.  That’s the best gift you could give your physical and spiritual self. Life doesn’t really have to go by the clock. Sometimes it pays to see life pass by, remain a silent spectator  and enjoy the scenario.Just doing nothing is the right thing to do, right way to relax.

Come Monday morning.  Life is back on its routine rigmarole. Cooking, packing lunches, office, targets, children (and their woes), husband(yes), domestic help, etc etc etc..the list is long and exhaustive.

Yet, I am ready to take on the world, renewed, refreshed and rewarded.

The garden, the kitchen, the ceiling fans, my wardrobe are still crying out for help, that’s another story.

[myrcenegirl]

well the fun just doesnt stop! the speeding ticket i got where the person in the picture is wearing a mask apparently is undeniably me and the ticket isnt dismissed so like i guess im out of fucking options and the police dont actually need evidence to give me this ticket if they want to so that means i get to spend probably around 230 on traffic school before the end of next month. and i made really great decisions this weekend which yes i take full responsibility for so im dead broke again and have my moms birthday coming up and would like to do the bare fucking minimum for her but that of course costs money and seeing her itself means im missing two days of making money and it costs a tank of gas to see her which is ridiculous. im probably going to have to ask my brother if its okay if im short on my rent giving the reasoning that i would normally ask mom for a loan and i obviously dont want to ask her that on her fucking birthday so im thinking hell understand but then i have another bill right after i would get back from my mom so if i dont make enough money before going up there im going to once again be scrambling to pay this bill while owing my brother money and then the weekend after my moms bday its one of my best friends bday the one who her birthday is sooooooooooooo fucking important to her and im just like dude i cant get you shit i cant help out with your party at all im not even sure i can sacrifice yet another two nights of not working to celebrate with you for 48 hours like i know you want. like im sure she would understand like its not within my total control here obviously i would love to have tons of money and like idk she can be upset sure but at the same time im struggling here lol. oh and to top it all off this is the first time ive hung out with my best friend alone in like 4 months and we were having such a great fun night although making really bad decisions and having great talks all fucking night and THEN GUESS WHAT he got fucking weird again and its like well great can i even spend time alone with my best fucking friend without him making me uncomfortable like do i have to question this friendship now because i guess he actually really did completely end things with his ex so what am i suddenly after all our years of friendship now for some reason on his radar??? does he just want to fool around or is he like trying shit with me? doesnt matter cause i dont fucking want any of that shit im genuinely not to be rude i see him as a family member at this point and im not in the slightest bit sexually attracted to someone i see as family like sorry. i guess it could be worse tho! i found 140 in my savings in another account so the fact that i didnt work saturday or sunday cause i was too fucking strung out was a little less severe. also technology popped off a bit with my lost card when i ordered a replacement it said that the ‘card’ on my phone will immediately update so i can access my main account without having to get a temp card so one less errand. and while i had a little bit of money the other week i did buy a little bit of groceries so i have been able to make it by not eating out since friday so woo. i went out earlier and stayed out a little later working tonight and did get a good amount of money. some gas stations are 40 cents cheaper for some reason although i didnt see those until after i filled up today so cool for tomorrow tho we know. ughhhhh im wondering if the constant stress of not having money is better than the constant stress of hating 9 hours of my day at a shitty job getting yelled at by random cunts im trying to help its really weighing on me! like i could just be making a lot of bad decisions thats probably the obvious detail here lol but damn its like it never ends. ugh lets be extra extra responsible for some time here and adjust

[smallerplaces]

The saga of the Dura-Craft Farm House FH500, part 1

All the Dura-Craft Farm House posts will be tagged Dollhouse Diaries, so you can avoid them if you like.

Last Sunday, we were at the Save-a-Pet Thrift in Valley Springs, where we saw this enticing box. It's the Dura-Craft Farm House FH500: "So authentic you can almost smell the hay!"

This is one of my two favorite 1:12 houses, which is reprehensible of me because the window sizing and placement is really not good. Back in 2008, I had bought a completed one, in fixer-upper shape, at an antique store in Phoenix for $60, but a lot happened in 2008, and it did not make some move or other. I'd been thinking that while there was no realistic way anything big from 2008 could have made it to 2024 with me, I wouldn't mind finding another one.

This one was $50. The proprietor of the thrift assured me that the kit is complete. She knew the guy who was trying to build it, and he just ran out of steam because it was complicated. Having built kit dollhouses with Dad over a long weekend, I scoffed. (Spoiler: I'm going to eat my words, unsauced and chewy.)

Obviously, I bought it. (Actually, Dad bought it for me while I protested that I have unspent birthday and Christmas money burning a hole in my wallet, but you get the idea.)

Upon reading the instructions, I found the stamped date when it was boxed up: October 7, 1982.

Dura-Craft was an Oregon furniture maker that started using scrap lumber for dollhouses in the late 1970s, with its kit production starting around 1978. From about 1978 through the 1980s was a huge boom period for dollhouse kits, with so many more brands and models than there are today. (Furniture variety peaks in the 2000s, though, go figure.)

The pictures on the box thus show some of the earliest Dura-Craft designs. Dad has built the San Franciscan (that's the one he built while Mom was dying, that she never got to put the furniture in, so you can figure we sold that because we couldn't stand the sight of it). I think he has the Southern Mansion kit in the attic, missing one floor piece, but I refuse to build a plantation house. I've never seen the Chateau!

The first step is to assemble the walls, as the walls are not sheets of plywood or MDF, the way most kits have always been. No, the walls are assembled from individual strips of plywood, about three fingers high, with milled siding. This here is three of the wood strips already glue together.

I am grateful for the milled siding, as dollhouse siding costs a fortune, and all DIY trash-to-treasure substitutes are an incredible amount of work to do. I admire and applaud people who make their own siding from stirring sticks or whatever, but I know I would do poorly at it.

What I'm not grateful for is that the prior builder had assembled the walls with hot glue. Never build a dollhouse shell with hot glue. Don't do it if the instructions say to *cough* Greenleaf *cough*. Definitely don't do it if the instructions say to use wood glue.

Hot glue puts a rubbery, flexible layer between the two surfaces glued together. There is fabulous if you're gluing silk flowers to a hat. It is not fabulous when you have wood that's intended for square, direct joins. The wall sections flap where the joins between strips are rubbery. Some are off-kilter because a rounded line of hot glue doesn't absorb down into the wood the way wood glue does. Many are simply breaking because hot glue ages faster and worse than wood glue.

So every time a join breaks, we have to pick hot glue debris out of the tracks on one side of the wood strip. Dad scrapes at it with a knife. I don't trust myself around sharp instruments, so I alternate between heating it with a microwaved napkin (damp in the center so it doesn't catch fire, but dry on the surface so it doesn't get the wood wet) and picking at it with my fingernails. We have tacitly agreed that we will not attempt to fix every join unless walls refuse to slide into their corner posts, many steps down the road.

There is a great deal of gluing and clamping involved. We're somewhere between halfway and 2/3 of the way through wall repairs, and I'm hoping we didn't jump the gun in gluing that gable back on.

Meanwhile, the box does come with a clear photo of the interior layout!

The interior walls are not optional -- every model of this house that I've seen without those walls has severely sagging floors. The floor edges balance on narrow wood sticks that don't give a lot of support.

I need to see how tall the rooms really are before making a firm decision on who gets this house. If ceiling height is reasonable for Arvin Lebec, who's a tall guy at 7", then it's his. If it runs short -- as sometimes happens with older kit houses -- then I may rebuy the couple intended as the original inhabitants the first time I bought this house: the Archie McPhee barista and hipster action figures.

Tomorrow is yet more wall-gluing. So many walls. So, so many walls.

#dollhouse diaries #dura-craft #dollhouse #duracraft #farmhouse fh500 #dollhouse miniatures #dollhouse build

[airsoftaction]

[pheemuru]

I want to get a little personal for a sec

Below the cut I'm going to talk about my struggle with art, energy, time management, and trying to be an artist in the current social media climate while having a full time job in an unrelated field

In august 2023, i moved out of my parents home for the first time--I moved out of state and got a full time job. this is a good thing and a super positive life event for me! I'm now living with my partner of nearly 7 years and my best friend of 5.

However my relationship with art since before I even moved out... has been really rocky. My job now occupies my time for 6 hours a day 5 days a week. I work from 6:45 am - 10 am (im including travel time here because its still my time thats occupied by work...) and then I have a break until 2 pm. Then I work 2 - 6 pm, and depending on where I'm working at, I get home anywhere from 6-7 pm. I go to bed at 11 pm (This is a very big struggle mentally for me since my jobs schedule is very much opposite of how my body functions. I'm a night owl and not at all an early bird.) This is my monday thru friday.

By the time the weekend comes, I have other household chores to keep up with before I feel like I'm "allowed" to waste my time basically. I also use my time just... recovering for the next week. Every night I get home from work I take a couple edibles to wind down and relax, which is possibly the best part of my day when I finally get to turn my brain off from having to mask and wrangle 30 something kids throughout the day. (daycare aide moment)

How this relates to my art is that I really have zero drive to do any kind of art. I have no ideas. I see stuff online and think "wow I want to do that, I wish I thought of it". Creativity doesn't come naturally to me if it isn't the result of a college assignment or a commission. I struggle a LOT with concepting and sketching. I genuinely don't know how to doodle anymore either

In 2024 I want to focus a lot more on what's going to make me feel satisfied in a career, and so far the only option I have for that is making art my full time gig. However, anyone that is trying that or has tried that knows how difficult that is and how unrealistic it is to just be able to do that with no build up.

Here's where my struggle comes in; I have no fucking energy for anything anymore. I got diagnosed with adhd and autism last year, or just about last year. My job is insanely socially heavy (I'm around 30+ kids and have to manage them) so by the time that I get home, I just want to get stoned and watch movies. I don't want to create. I don't want to do anything. not even shit i like to do.

drawing has become so fucking hard for me. it takes me so goddamn long to finish a piece, I get overwhelmed by current trends, and it doesnt help that the fact of the matter is, social media has moved onto video formats. This means I will have to keep up with video trends to get any kind of eyes on my work. But how do you keep up with video trends when you don't even have any art to show to begin with, nonetheless ones that fit with the theme of the trends going around?

So now I need to make supplementary/filler recordings to fill out content if I want to be serious about my social media presence. On top of the fact I actually have to create art. On top of the fact that there's dishes in my sink every day and laundry that has to be done every week and groceries that have to be shopped for and a job that has to be attended to five days a week. I know 30 hours a week truly is not as much as others work to be full time but my god is it exhausting? All this shit on top of itself makes me feel like I regret moving out a little bit. Overall I don't, because I don't have to live with my parents and I can relax around my partner, but like. oh my god?

literally how does anyone live like this and not want to kill themselves. I had to get a zoloft script because i kept having mental breakdowns every sunday because I have to go back to fucking work and I never feel like I have enough time to do anything meaningful. by the time my brain is like, "ready" to work, its 9 pm and i have to get ready for bed in 2 hours.

I've contemplated getting my masters in teaching to be an art teacher, but I really wouldn't.. want to do that for the rest of my life? you don't really get days off if you need it, youre obligated to work outside of work hours just to get anything done, parents right now kind of suck, school admins also suck, curriculums are cutting art programs, and kids are also becoming so much more disengaged with art at younger ages.

with the state of everything I find it really hard not to just spiral into a depressive episode. I don't know what my future holds. Sure, I have my parents as a safety net now, but theyre approaching their 70s and arent going to be around for the majority of the rest of my life. what happens then? what happens when theyre gone and i have literally no other support beyond the little life i made for myself right now? i already feel like im not allowed to prioritize myself at the moment given my position in the household (full time consistent job that pays somewhat decent ((Decent being $16.75/hour lol)) for the area im in, im the one that can drive, im the one with the largest paycheck and most consistent hours). I can't really get days off at work if I wake up having a panic attack or even physical sickness. I'm supposed to just deal with it and clock in because we dont have enough people to cover last minute like that. And I'm someone with (honestly) debilitating stomach issues. I had to have an upper endoscopy and tests done which only yield so much if you don't follow up with an allergist, which I still have yet to do...

Currently I'm supposed to set up appointments for my dentist, an allergist, a cardiologist, and I need to contact my psych because my pharmacy told me my zoloft cant be refilled (second month on it btw lol).

so like. when the fuck am i supposed to have any kind of every to dedicate to a second part time job, my own fucking art business? the thing i want to be the most passionate about, i have no energy left for. I feel so wildly unsatisfied in my life right now because of this. I'm struggling. I'm struggling a lot and I wish i didn't have to work at all. I wish I could just have my art be my full time thing, but I dont have the audience nor the social media prowess to make that happen so quickly.

I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. everyone keeps saying "take care of yourself" or "self care" but jesus christ how am i supposed to when i cant even just work 4 days a week consistently because for whatever reason I'm the only person at my job that can do what i do? how am i supposed to practice self care when that self care would mean i quit my fucking job lol. i'm at such a loss and i feel like im just letting the time pass by like grains of sand in an hourglass. being torn between wanting to die and wanting to push through is a fucking insane feeling. all we do in life is struggle until we die and I'm finding it harder and harder to get over that kind of mental hurdle. every time i drive i have to fight the genuine intrusive thoughts of yanking the steering wheel to put myself in a ditch with my car just to give myself a couple weeks of a break.

I'm tired. And there's nothing i can do about it. how long can one weather a storm before getting lost at sea

#vent post #anyone else. anyone else at all #burnout #like i dont even know how to job hunt anymore #everything on linkedin is either shitty or not real #same with indeed #how does anyone find a work from home job like seriously #all i want is some stupid wfh job #i want a job behind the scenes. i dont want to talk to people all day #i have zero applicable skills for any modern job

[thedaveandkimmershow]

Dang...

So July.

A definite crescendo of a month. Especially for one that starts off with explosions.

One month after moving back to the house after four years living on the Hill, it turns out the correct answer was...

Moving back to the house.

What can I say?

The reasons that made the choice such a difficult one not even two months ago... weren't so tough to navigate after all. Especially the commute side of the equation. It actually does work better than we would've guessed. Plus... the house is super chill, very quiet. Which makes sense since I-5 doesn't run right in front of it. Plus, though the remodeling of the house wasn't actually intended for us, it sure makes the house more optimized for what we do and want.

So yeah. A great call.

July fifth was our dating anniversary, the date of our establishing being July 5, 1990. Kind of a while ago. We lazed the morning. Went to see Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny at the Crest Theater, hit the Ballard GoodWill for some random browsing, derailed a trip to Trader Joe's by going to PCC across the street instead for orange creamsicles we subsequently enjoyed on the roof. Had a picnic on the shores of Smith Cove in front of Expedia. Did a walkabout of the Seattle Center for old time's sake. Finished off at Tapster on South Lake Union all—

On a sunny summer's day.

It was a fantastic dating anniversary.

Moving through the month, the next big event was this year's 48 Hour Film Project competition with the Combat Wombats, the production team that was kind enough to invite me to be a Wombat a coupla years ago for their short film, "Cleaners". This year's effort, "PTAgent" was, yes, hard work and a delight for all of us. It also feels like we're getting better at this having begun the journey at a high level to begin with.

By the way, the 48 Hour weekend was also proof of something Kimmer created: my edit suite. This was basically the shakedown cruise for using the room as intended, including the space for clients.

Initially I was thinking the overstuffed couch should be replaced with something a more sleek. That is... until Saturday night and Sunday during the day when the weary director and producer of "PTAgent" put its overstuffed comfort to good use.

The end of the 48 Hour extravaganza always features a dinner out with Kimmer. It's a tradition we didn't know was gonna be a tradition... but a tradition we started with my first 48 Hour Film Project editing "Cleaners", an experience that kept me up that particular Saturday night until 5AM Sunday morning and then up again by 9... four hours later. I think I finished with the edit around 4 that afternoon? At which point Kimmer offers dinner at Maggie Bluffs, our first such celebratory dinner with this year's, our fourth, at Las Brisas in Edmonds. ☺️☺️☺️

The reward for our 48 Hour experience, of course, was the opportunity to watch our work on the big screen at the Uptown Cinema in lower Queen Ann where, once upon a time as a youngster, I watched Young Sherlock Holmes.

Moving on, the second half of the month was definitely the most incredibly packed half. 

So the 48 Hour Film Project competition began the evening of Friday, July 14 ending on the evening of July 16. Four days later, Thursday the 20th, Kimmer 'n I drive up to the neighborhood behind the Grand Avenue Park Bridge, park our car, and walk down to the Everett Marina where Linzy's performing with the band The Little Lies.

Two days after that, Saturday, middle of the day, we join the band again at their Bite of Seattle performance that's taking place on one of the busiest weekends in Seattle history including but not limited to a Mariners game, the Capitol Hill Block Party, various cruise ship departures, and a Taylor Swift at Lumen Field mega concert. All of which conspired to bring everyone into the heart of Seattle.

Every place in the city was packed, is all I'm saying.

Same deal the next day, Sunday the 23rd, when we return to the Bite to see another band of which Linzy's a member: Midnight High (more on that band in a moment).

The Midnight High performance was around 1 in the afternoon after which we went back to the house as Linzy went on to that evening's Taylor Swift concert which, according to everyone, was a VERY big deal. Certainly for Linzy who basically grew up as a musician with Taylor's career. 🤩🤩🤩

Now, while all these shows were happening, as the world premiere of the film I cut approached, Kimmer was also up to her eyeballs... having officially applied to a doctorate program at her alma mater. And, by the time the screening happened, she was officially accepted.

HUZZAH!!!!!! 😁😁😁

And the doctorate program?

Doctor of Science in Integrative Health from the American College of Healthcare Sciences.

So there it is.

We all three were having a very busy week.

A coupla evenings later, Tuesday the 25th, I'm prefunctioning at the home of the Combat Wombats' director as most of the team gathers for pizza oven cooked pizza and drinks and talking shop and talking life… before heading to the Uptown Cinema for the world premiere of "PTAgent" on the big screen. By the time I get home, it's already a half hour into Sunday the 26th, the morning on which we're leaving for southern California to visit family and check in on Kimmer's aunt. At this point, we've gotta be out the door in six hours but manage to eat one of those hours watching an episode of Madame Secretary, a series that's turned out to be a big deal for us this summer after we blitzed through the eight episode season one of The Diplomat four times in a row.

Yeah. We desperately needed another show to watch.

So credits roll on Madam Secretary and now it's a little after 130AM. The way things work out, we'll be up three and a half hours later at 5AM, ready and on the road to the airport by 640AM, in the air by 8, and so on.

Which pretty much explains how tired we were the rest of the day.

Our California family's family, though, which means they give us a huuuuge shot of energy for four solid days of taking our home life on the road, an essential part of which is about seeing Kimmer's aunt who lives in a memory care community.

By the time we're home again, we're into the first minutes of Sunday the 30th, a day that we figured will be a normal-ish, chores-ish day that suddenly turns into the world premiere of Linzy's music on the radio.

One of the bands in which she performs harmonies and keys, you see, is called Midnight High, their latest gig being that one at the Bite of Seattle. And Sunday evening, our day back from California, they're on the Locals Only show on KNDD-FM 107.7 The End. They're promoting their new album, "Swimming Lessons", showcasing a few songs from that album and sharing some of their favorite music including "I Don't Wanna Know" from Linzy's debut Dream Patrol project EP titled "Made For TV".

Dang.

That made for a very "That Thing You Do" moment for us at home and for Linzy over at her place.

And yup.

After a crazy busy July, that's seven months down.

Five to go.

🤔🤔🤔

#dating anniversary #family #friends #fun #love #busy #home life #road life #moving #48 hour film project #combat wombats #music at the marina everett #bite of seattle #the little lies #midnight high #PTAgent #uptown cinema #southern california #orange county #105 degrees #memory care community #achs #doctorate #american college of healthcare sciences #integrative medicine #KNDD-FM #locals only #107.7 the end #taylor swift #lumen field

[f1]

I did my absolute best says gutted Sainz as he misses out on a home podium

Starting second on home soil, Carlos Sainz must have dreamed of scoring a first podium in front of his adoring fans on Sunday – but his hopes were soon dashed as he lost out to both Mercedes drivers and the Red Bull of Sergio Perez to come home a distant fifth. It had all started so well, with the Spaniard making a great getaway and challenging Max Verstappen for the lead into the first corner. Once the Red Bull pulled away, Sainz nursed his soft tyres as best he could, but had to pit a full ten laps earlier than Lewis Hamilton. Such was the Mercedes tyre advantage, Hamilton was able to easily pass later on in a move Sainz admitted he fully expected. READ MORE: Verstappen cruises to Spanish GP win ahead of Hamilton and Russell as he extends championship lead “I think we actually maximised everything we had,” he said afterwards. “I gave my absolute best both in the start and the race pace and I’m just a bit gutted that we couldn’t put in a bit of a stronger defence on the Red Bull and the two Mercedes because they were quicker than us. “It wasn’t even worth fighting them because they would have passed me one lap later or another, so I did my absolute best but unfortunately this is what we have now.” This feature is currently not available because you need to provide consent to functional cookies. Please update your cookie preferences 2023 Spanish Grand Prix: Both Hamilton and Russell pass Sainz to set up double Mercedes podium While Sainz at least can take solace from finishing in the points – albeit a few places lower than he hoped for – the same couldn’t be said for his team mate. Charles Leclerc had started from the pit lane after the team opted to send his troubled rear assembly back to Maranello for checks, and the hope was that the issue that derailed his qualifying would be solved as a result. Unfortunately, while that was the case, the Monegasque driver found himself with a whole new set of problems once the race began. MUST-SEE: Verstappen fends off Sainz but Norris and Hamilton make contact at the start of the Spanish GP “It’s very strange and very difficult to understand because we go on the first set of hards, and it feels so bad, no grip at all, especially the fronts, they were just really, really bad,” said Leclerc. “And then you go on the second stint of hard and then everything feels fine, and you just do exactly the same thing as the driver, and it is just in a completely different place. Luckily, we had much less problems compared to qualifying yesterday, where the car was more doing what we expected, unfortunately we still had this problem with tyres, especially in the first stint.” Leclerc struggled to climb through the field in the race Leclerc had started on the hard compound hoping for a long first stint and a tyre offset advantage later on in the race with which to climb through the field. Instead, he found himself pitting for the first time at much the same time as his team mate on the softs, as the Ferrari wasn't nearly as kind to its tyres as the likes of Mercedes and Red Bull. HIGHLIGHTS: Watch the action from the Spanish Grand Prix as Verstappen dominates to take victory Although he did make some progress late on to come home in 11th, Leclerc didn’t even have the pace to make it past the Alpine of Pierre Gasly despite having DRS in the closing laps. “We’ve got so much work to do,” he continued. “And to be honest, looking at our weekend, I would struggle to think that it can get worse than that. The target is to only get better from here.” This feature is currently not available because you need to provide consent to functional cookies. Please update your cookie preferences Race Highlights: 2023 Spanish Grand Prix via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com

#F1 #‘I did my absolute best’ says ‘gutted’ Sainz as he misses out on a home podium #Formula 1

[thesugarhole]

useless blog post of me complaining of the same thing again feel free to scroll past

im still super excited about dd2 coming out tomorrow btw. just not hiper fixated excited, hence why i havent been talking a whole lot about it.

it could be a good thing, since its not whats currently giving me brainrot i wont be too upset if i dont get to play it on launch; i still have to buy it which means putting the money i saved up on my account or buying a gift card. also, the first day of the work week so far have been brutal on my mind and i always seem to arrive late home (slowly but surely getting a hang of all the tips and tricks about buses and trains and stops around here) so even if i already had the game whose to say id get to play it and not just shower and sleep out of exhaustion?

it could be a bad thing because one of the tips i saw today while researching sunday blues was to not divide work and fun too strictly in week and weekend respectively, because that's how it creeps in... like even if you plan to game on the weekend but then dont get to it because youre tired, it definitely feels like a failure and no fun was actually had.

dunno. again, its a balancing act. 8 hours of sleep, 12hours of work counting commutes, delays and lunch (i wake up at 7, i always get home past 19h30). got 4 hours left to shower, dinner, prep for tomorrow. and free, Comfortable time (i count commute as free-uncomfortable time, so you can sort of deduce 3-4 hours from the 12, but i still dont actually get to do anything relaxing nor fun-productive) with access to my bedroom where all my things are. ive been slowly recovering some energy in these hours instead of needing them to do nothing, but it really depends on how tiring the day was... the last thing you want to do after a bad day of intense monitor related activities is go home and look at it again, even if with a different subject

guess we'll see tomorrow. in any case ill probably only buy it tuesday because my savings arent actually in my bank account but inside my closet aisodjsoa

i know i sound like an asshole when ive only been at it for 2 weeks and each one had an holiday but like. if i hated this aspect of school and uni im definitely not gonna love it at work. its too much with little time to goof off, like you actually have to slot everything so carefully even in the weekend to not go insane. really respect people who do this and more. at least so far im not bringing home work, thats something i want to avoid as much as possible. work hours is for work anything outside of it call someone else

#sugar.txt #playing darkest dungeon #not really. not in the slightest. but it is related in a way #i mentioned the song the day before you came in another post for different reasons but like #if before i understood what it was about now im starting to truly feel it #this type of routine rut can be brutal on a person where all you are is work home work home

[umichenginabroad]

Week 13: Easter Break in Sydney!

Hi everyone! Its officially Autumn in Sydney! The weather is cool, and even a little chilly sometimes. Dare I say Ann Arbor has been warmer than Sydney recently? While there might not be many more beach days in the future, I’ve still been able to take advantage of the city. 

This week was Easter break. We get Good Friday and Easter Monday off, which is convenient for me since I have four classes on Fridays and three on Mondays. Since we had time off classes, I used this weekend to check a few things off my bucket list before leaving Sydney in exactly one month from today.

On Thursday night, my dorm had its annual cruise where we all dress up in formal attire and go on a huge boat cruise around Sydney Harbour with dinner and drinks. It was so cool to be on such a huge 3-story boat, and to see the opera house and bridge up close. We also saw fireworks!

On Friday, I went out for brunch in Paddington, an area I’ve recently loved exploring. Then, I had a potluck at night with a bunch of my friends in one of our dorms! Afterwards, two of my friends and I went out in Bondi, but we got there right when everything closed since bars close at 10pm on Good Friday. We ended up just taking in the beach views at night, which was so peaceful. 

Saturday was a big day! My friends and I got free tickets to the horse races last minute, so we got together in the morning and went over. It was so cool to dress up and see such a big Australian event (even though I lost $5 betting on a horse). Afterwards, we picked up wine and charcuterie for dinner and went into the city to Observatory Hill for a sunset dinner picnic. The views were stunning and it was such a good night, even though it was pretty cold and windy out. Afterwards, we went out to an Irish bar called PJ O’Briens, which is actually right inside the hotel my sister and I stayed at during my first week here! We met so many Irish people and had a blast dancing and singing along to the live music. 

On Sunday I was supposed to skydive, but it was canceled due to being too windy. Instead, my friends and I got free tickets to Ivy Pool Club for the final Pool Club Sunday where everyone goes and hangs out all afternoon! It was a little chilly outside so we didn’t swim, but a great way to end a fun weekend. 

After a weekend filled with such fun activities, I had to get back on the school grind again. My favorite work locations from this week include at a table outside at Coogee Pavilion overlooking the beach, a bookstore cafe called Ampersand, and the UNSW law library. 

Lastly, I started embarking on more early morning walks to take in the views as much as possible before I leave. My favorite quick hour-long walk is to Coogee and back, but I also had a great time taking the bus to Bondi at 6:30am to do the famous coastal walk to Coogee again — the views never get old!

Next week is the final week of classes so I have a lot of final projects to submit for my three engineering classes — looks like there will be a lot more of discovering good work spots this upcoming week! Stay tuned.

Anika Satish

Mechanical Engineering

University of New South Wales

Sydney, Australia

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