#eat and go to sleep or maybe go out and do things but noooo

[gongedtornado]

.

#im so fucking hungry im moody im irritated im in pain im almost 100% certain im about to start that time of the month and all i wanna do is- #eat and go to sleep or maybe go out and do things but noooo #im so understimulated and hrbrggrr #its too warm in here i wanna blow up #everything is irritating the piss out of me rhhghghrh #im sure a good meal will resolve it all but >:( #uuuughhhh #and its my first weekend in a while where i actually have sunday off and i wanted to do things with my family and ive just been stuck in a #car for awhile and im getting agitated as all fuck #im probably just hungry or hormonal as all fuck. or maybe its the fact i forgot to take my meds last night but rgghrrghhggr #BARK BARK BARK BARK #/neg #kazzy complains #yeah no im just stupidly moody today.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Could we have octoville reaction to octo merchild misbehaving like attempting to beat them up , trying to escape, thrashing in their arms , and even biting , and even cussing them out and giving the middle finger

Yandere Octorio x Octo Mer Child reader

Children get fussy that’s just a known fact. Even the cruelest and most coldhearted know that children are slaves to their unhinged emotions which can be kicked off by the absence of a nap, not being given their dinosaur nuggies, or not getting to play longer. But only the best guardians know how to handle these kinds of behavior at the very least eliminate the ones that cause it:

Azul Ashengrotto 

More than anyone Azul has the greatest authority over you so he claims

You are the mini to his mega octopus status

So when he says your going back to your tank 

Your going back to your tank

“Nooooo!”

“Let him go, (Y/n). It’s time to go!”

“Noooooo!”

He didn’t mind that you were getting cozy in Scarabia 

It meant getting to keep an eye on Jamil

Kalim was perfect for keeping up with your energy 

But Azul notices how your skin gets dry or how sluggish you are returning 

You’re not just tired…you’re drying out 

On a deeper level, Jade’s discovered that your hybrid status has you needing things a mini octopus needs

You have an extremely thin phlegm that keeps you from drying out

And drinking water is part of it 

But with heat like Scarabia’s its best if you spend at least two hours in some actual water 

Letting the water give you oxygen through your skin

But for whatever reason, you don’t want to do that

Annoyed with how much time is taken away with putting on and taking off the bathing suit 

And the way Jamil demands you sit on the scratchy towels so you don’t make everywhere wet

“Nooooooo! Rgh! Noooo!”

With Kalim’s push, you’ll leave Scarabia 

But when you return to Octavinelle Azul gives you some guidelines about going 

And when you refuse he thinks aloud about not letting you go at all

he's mostly joking maybe not

And that sets you off

In the middle of the Monstro lounge your flailing, crying causing a huge scene

And like a struggling single mom that’s just trying to wrangle her kid, He’s straining as he pulls you into his office

Away from the invasive stares and curious looks of patrons

When he’s in there he pushes you in your mini tank clipping on the hole-filled top 

Which doesn’t move at all despite your little tentacles pulling and banging on the glass

He’ll start working on contracts, counting bills, studying all while ignoring your little tantrum

He waits until it stops, sleeping in your little hidey-hole

Then He cries 

Reduced to his baby octopus days he tries to remind himself that his baby just doesn’t want to listen

Not that you really hate him for stopping you from hanging out with someone more fun than him

All the parenting books couldn’t prepare him for this 

But when you awake still willing to wrap your little tentacles around his fingers he gains confidence again

“(Y/n)...how about we make a little contract, okay? Just something promising me you’ll always come back, okay?”

“Mmmm okay.”

Jade Leech

“(Y/n) did you hear me? I said you can’t eat these. (Y/n)? Look at me, do you understand?”

You were being a little toad

Pouting and turning away after Jade didn’t let you eat one of the mushrooms he was dissecting

Some may say that previously working on edible mushrooms and giving one to you every other time may have conditioned you to expect it but whatever

You’ve squatted down low and plopped on the cold floor of his club room

Refusing to look at him with your little noises of refusal

He doesn’t mind being ignored…he knows you’ll forget anyway

But what he does have a problem with is when he turns away you’re reaching your tubby hand into his work station

He snatches your little hand using this closeness to grill it into you to listen

“(Y/n). Look at me.”

“Mmmm!”

“(Y/n).”

“Mmm!” 

“Fine, then you're going to your tank.”

“Noooooo!”

“Yes.”

He’s dragging you or rather carrying you to your tank 

And as he shut whoever’s door to put you away he hears something mumbled under your breath that sets him off

“-old fish. S-upid klunt!” 

“...What did you just say?”

He turns his head like those dolls in horror movies

He gets that you were trying to say something else and he will hunt down who you got that from later but for now he’s bringing the hammer down

No one knows what happens when you're being particularly naughty

The best equivalent for what happens is that he commits to emotionally spanking you

a single look portrays that you're in for it

Talking you down until your begging for forgiveness while you nuzzle against his pant leg

He becomes that parent that you know to behave around

And its Azul who uses the most

“I’m going to tell Jade when he gets home!”

“No no! I sorry! No, please don’t tell!”

But in the end Jade is always willing to forgive you

Always willing to genuinely smile as you tearfully apologize before even being reprimanded

“Aww that’s my good octopus, I’m not angry no no no…I was just disappointed…but you did so well to apologize, good job.”

Floyd Leech

“Eh?! Octobaby hasn’t had their nap yet? Ohhh so that’s why you're so snippy!”

He’s down to play with you but he knows it’s a nightmare when your hungry or tired

He knows right now you need a nap

Even if he has to force you to take one

Now Jade says he can’t strangle you to sleep because you're just too fragile

So he just has to lock you in your tank, play your music, and make sure no one interrupts

That’s who he’s allowed to strangle

Even when you’re biting and thrashing in his hold 

To be honest he hardly notices 

Until your little pincers actually prick him some

“Did you just…bite me…?”

“...n-no..”

“Yes, you did.”

“I-i sorry. I sorry!” 

His silence speaks loudest

He’s angry

It just won’t be at you

He’s oddly nurturing putting you to sleep 

Then he’s raging at everyone who gets in his way 

“Who. The. Heck. Made them miss their nap?!”

He’s not letting anyone hurt you let alone ruin your schedule

There is a schedule for how they take care of you

He actually is really vigilant about it

So he is livid when others come and mess with that

“Octobaby bit me today…”

“Oh did you reprimand them?”

“Nope did it themselves! Besides it was the cutest little prick, if they weren’t acting out I’d want them to do it again!”

#platonic yandere octorio #yandere octorio #yandere platonic #yandere platonic twisted wonderland #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere floyd leech #yandere jade #yandere tweels #yandere platonic tweels #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst x child reader #yanderes x child reader

[writing-whump]

Feverish cuddles

Just a fluffy thing with feverish Seline and the boys.

The door opened and closed with a thud way too loud for Seline's ears.

She wasn't sure what was wrong. Just that she felt like when she had low sugar after coffee or something super sweet - she was shaky, vaguely nauseous and brittle. But eating didn't help, in fact, the baguette she got herself on the way was sitting all weird in her stomach.

Too greasy. She already hated thinking about her, and it was just a half an hour ago.

The living room alight despite the late evening darkness.

Matthew was sprawled laying on the couch, taking every centerimeter of it while reading a book.

"You are still at it?"

Matthew grunted, not even looking up.

Seline hadn't expected him to be such a bookworm. He liked boxing and working out and looking at his muscled arms and abs in the mirror when he thought no one was looking. He was the towering kind of tough guy one could mistake for a bodyguard, with a perpetual frown and he was proud of it.

So how he could grab a book and spend three days unresponsive by reading it was a real surprise.

A wave of affection at the sight had her letting go of her back and wiggling out of her shoes and coat half-heartedly. She didn't have the energy to be neat or to go all the way upstairs to her room to change clothes.

Seline shuffled to the couch, leaning her knees against the edge.

It took a few long seconds of staring unmovingly for Matt to look up. "What?!"

"Move," she said with a grin.

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes and then simply flopped right in top of him.

Matthew's breath caught as he moved his hands and book out of the way. Seline sprawled across his chest and waist, laying on top of him, side of her face pressed against his collar bone. "You can't have the couch all for yourself," she chided.

She felt Matthew's deep sigh under her ear, whole chest moving up and down. "You could have said something. I can expand the couch-"

"Nah, this is fine."

Matthew scoffed. "Yeah, for you maybe."

When she didn't move, he raised himself up with her on top, letting her flip backwards against the other end. He was mumbling something in that complaining voice of his that Seline knew was harmless at this point as he expanded the couch to the size of a twin bed.

He lied back down on it on his back, only to splatter for air like a cat, when she glued herself to his side again.

"You have space. Roll over there."

"Noooo. You are warm." She knew it sounded whiny and she didn't care. Her hands and feet were freezing, everything was uncomfortable and her bones weighed her down. No way she was giving up on any comfort in vicinity.

She threw her hand over his waist and when he grumbled but didn't move away, relaxed. When she closed her eyes, the world didn't spin as much anymore.

Her back was still cold, only her front warmed by Matthew's incredible body heat. She let her hand slide to Matthew's stomach, finding the rim of his shirt and going under it to naked skin.

That had him shooting up in panic. "Oww! That's cold! What are you doing?!"

Her lips curled, her blue eyes wide and glassy, blinking innocently.

Matthew growled something. "When is your boyfriend coming home? Go freeze him."

But he settled back down, which she took as permission to plant both of her hands under his shirt, warmth immediately spreading all over her.

Matthew's arm came sneaking around her back, letting him lie on his shoulder, his strong arm around her. Tugging her closer while he lifted the book with his other hand to continue reading.

Seline wasn't sure if she shouldn't be offended he wasn't paying her more attention...but he was warm and comfy. She slid her hands over his stomach, flat and warm and toned, breathing out. If he found it weird, he didn't comment.

She must have drifted off to sleep, cause the next thing she knew was Isaiah kneeling next to her on the sofa.

"Hey, what's wrong with her? Did something happen?" Isaiah stoked the top of her head.

"I don't know. Didn't say. She came, attacked me and didn't move since."

Isaiah chuckled. "Oh, yes, you such a helpless victim of her attack."

He cupped the side of her face and she groaned slightly.

"This is strange. She is always so chipper and happy, when she comes back from work." He threaded his hand through her hair.

"Take her. She is overheating me," Matthew said, turning another page.

She felt Isaiah's cold lips on the side of her forehead, making a happy little noise. He didn't move for a while though.

"Yep, she's got a fever."

Ah, that was it, then.

"Sel, would you like some water? Thermometer? Paralen?" Isaiah offered.

Seline didn't open her eyes, her eyelids were too heavy. But she knew what she wanted, turning around to reach for him.

Isaiah smiled. "Baby, come on. I'll get you to bed."

"No. Stay." A shiver run down her spine. She loved it when he called her that.

"I'll be right back," he said, amused and soft and concerned all at once. How could someone say Isaiah was unfeeling? She could hear so many things in his voice.

Isaish left, which elicted a whine out of her.

Matthew all but fumed next to her at the discomfort. "Geez, he just went to hang his precious suit. Get a grip."

Seline hugged herself tightly, cold now without Matt's arm around her. "Don't be mean. I have a fever."

She could tell he rolled his eyes, shifting on the bed all annoyed, but he put the back of his hand gently to her cheek after. "Just a little. Don't be so dramatic."

Then he got up to get a blanket from the other corner of the couch, draping it over her.

Isaiah came soon after, sliding under the blanket beside her.

Seline wrapped herself around him immediately. He was warm, smelled of coffee, chocolate and coconut and let her press her face against his neck.

Isaiah rubbed the top of her back, between her shoulders, the other hand hooked in her hair at the back of her head.

Matthew turned on his side, towards them, the book rustling in his grip. But he was closer now, his stomach and chest against her back.

Seline was basically sandwiched between them both, warm from all directions. The little discomfort of the fever and shakiness was still there, but the tension melted away, her chest filling up with warm fuzziness.

She sighed contendly.

@bellysoupset

#sickfic #fever #whump #hurt/comfort #cuddling #fluff #werewolf wip #my writing #this was not on the plan at all #I have shadows and arguments in requests lol #and Hector reveal drama on the menu #will get there in a bit :D #Seline

[sweetlittlenamjoon]

✨how stray kids would react to finding out about your regression✨

SFW interaction only please!!!

Chan 🐺🎧

finds out by accident

he’s just checking in on everyone and when he knocks on your door he gets no response

he gets worried and decides to just peek his head in

you’re sleeping with your paci hanging loosely out of you mouth

he thinks it’s really cute and doesn’t really question it much

he asks about it later in private

he immediately does so much research

wants to be your cg right away

dad cg vibes

likes to carry you around

just everywhere

he just goes about his day with you on his hip

“big hugs? big hugs.”

calls you baby girl/boy or kiddo

does voices for your stuffies :)

Lee Know  🐰🐱

finds out by walking in on you with a paci

just goes 😳, apologizes, and leaves

you explain later and he’s like “oh thank god I thought I walked in on something private”

he’s totally fine with it and even hangs out with you sometimes

its takes him and minute to get comfy actually taking care of you when regressed

makes you snacks

“eat up so you have lots of energy later!”

likes to have you in his lap so he can pet your head

picks the ugliest outfits for you he can bc he thinks its funny

plays pretend but he has to be the queen

or the bad guy

“oh noooo. i’ve been defeated.” *flop*

super protective???

if any of the other boys are playing too rough he’ll just scoop you up and threaten them with tissue mouth

Changbin  🐷🐰

why do i feel like binnie would just sixth sense that you’re a regressor

like you tell him about and he’s like “oh, was i not supposed to know?”

supportive big bro/cool older cousin vibes

he loves to pick you up and just hold you

bench press the baby

does that airplane thing where they pick you up with their feet

does his cutesy voice when talking to you

“who’s binnie’s little angel?”

lets you do his hair and makeup

drags whoever he can to co-care

mostly so you can both annoy whoever’s closest

talent shows!!!

he WILL tickle you

no escape

lots of stimmy dances and noises back and forth

adventures to the park

he will underdog you on the swings he don’t care about the rules 😎

Hyunjin  🦙🌲

finds out bc you come to cuddle him one night while regressed

you’re all babbly and squirmy and he’s like “well maybe they’re just sleepy???”

but you just smile up at him and go “hyunjinnie, I wuv you.”

and he just gives you a big hug and goes “I’m not sure what's goin’ on but love you too.”

in the morning you apologize and explain everything

he’s honestly a little confused but he’s trying his best

real awkward but he’s like that with actual kids so

he warms up quick tho

just says random noises

vocal stimmies back and forth

colouring!!!

draws you little pictures to colour in

cuts up fruit for you :)

definitely a co-care kinda guy

usually with felix or changbin

Han  🐹🍓

finds out bc chan convinced you he’d really love to help out

as expected he’s so excited

“so i can just baby you and carry you around and play pretend and it wont be weird?!”

big bro/babysitter cg

you will be watching animal documentaries sorry

he says its bc theyre educational

loves when you’re extra small so he can peekaboo with you

does silly voices when reading to you

chase!

lee know has to remind him to not get too into it or somebody will get hurt lol

really helpful with impure regression

breathing techniques

“wanna put on a silly cat video for a distraction, sweetheart?”

makes sure your toys get snacks too

Felix  🐣☀️

finds out bc you confide in him early on

he’s the first person you actually tell about your regression

super duper supportive

for a while you sneak into his room whenever you feel yourself start to regress

you watch anime on his phone and cuddle

he keeps a paci in his bedside table and an extra stuffie on his bed for you

once you’ve told everyone else he’s so proud

bakes for you all the time

you get to measure the chocolate chips and lick the spoon >:)

bath time!

he lights candles and gives you lots of bubbles

comfy naps and snuggles

pillow forts!

no hyungs allowed!!!

ok i guess lee know can come in he has snacks

does his high pitched voice bc it makes you laugh :)

Seungmin  🐶🐾

finds out bc you involuntarily regress in front of him and try very hard to explain while baby brained

very confused bc you’re mumbling a lot

he just gets ‘i’m a babey sometime an is ok because i copin’

good enough of a reason as any

so he just asks what you want him to do and follows along

vibin

he gets a better explanation later

still vibin

likes to chill best when you’re toddler-middle regressed

he doesn’t know what to do with nonverbal cues lol

thank god for AAC

would do pretty much anything for you

the others pick on him for being so nice to you when regressed when he’s usually such a brat

calls you the maknae

I.N. complains but he doesn’t mind when you’re little

he WILL just tackle you out of nowhere tho

I.N. 🦊🌸

finds out by accident

finds a rattle and some other toys while tidying your room

brings your rattle out to you in the living room and is like “do you have a niece or nephew???”

you get flustered but decide to just tell him the truth

and he just goes “oh ok!” and goes back to cleaning

doesn’t help out much at first

helps with getting you snacks and blankets

sits next to you while doing his own thing

but one day he just pulls you into his lap and continues his game

once he warms up he loves to bug the other members with you

rascals, the lot of you

pretty much never uses his baby voice unless you do something REALLY cute

loves to brush you hair

forehead kisses like “mwah!”

puts you in his big shoes

he takes so many pics

and shows every member

chill with you braggy with all the boys

(requests are open! send me an ask https://at.tumblr.com/sweetlittlenamjoon/i-dont-know-if-you-guys-are-actually-aware-of-this/6t8739ocrw7r)

#kpop agere #kpop age regression #kpop #kpop edits #kpop regression #kpop imagines #skz #skz fanfic #skz agere #skz fluff #skz edits #skz headcanons #Agere post #stray kids #straykids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids headcanons #Agere #age regressor #sfw agere #agere blog

[satureja13]

Vlad and Jack return from their visit at the Temple. Jack feels so much better now but... Vlad: "This does not look like the place we left this morning...I think we've lost our way - again..." Jack: "Aren't we supposed to see the swamp with that creepy plant when we're afar from our home?' But they heard Saiwa shouting: "We're here!" Jack: "What happened here? Oh, this is amazing! And Jeb cooked!" Jack knuckles a tear out of the corner of his eye. This day is too much for him.

Saiwa: "Haven't you eaten all day?" Jack: "Vlad cooked..." Saiwa: "Oh no."

They sat down to eat. Jack: "This is so beautiful! Where did you get all this stuff from? We have no money!" And Sai told them about the machines they found in the shed. Jack: "This is just like magic!"

Jack told Sai about the amazing Temple and that he feels so much better now that he doesn't even mind sleeping on the floor again tonight. He talked like a waterfall ^^' But Saiwa told him he won't have to and winks at him ;) And Vlad still feels bad he gave Arturo a hard time with his 'meal' and so he asked Jeb if he could brew a few potions for the temple to make it up to Arturo. Jeb: "Sure. I'll do that right tomorrow morning and you can take them with you on your next visit."

And then they wen't over to the houseboat to show Jack his new room. Jack: "Oh there's the Astromech! How did you get him up here from the ship?" Saiwa: "We used the crane ^^' "

Saiwa: "Jack? Don't cry! If you hate it we throw it back into the machine and make something you like better!" Jack: "Noooo! This is one of the most beautiful things you ever did for me! I love you!" Vlad: "I won't sleep while the rooster is in this bed."

Saiwa: "We just did the most needed stuff today. A place to cook and eat, two beds, bathroom and a little nicknack to make it homelier ;) We'll show you tomorrow how the machines work and then you can create whatever you want. We have enough junk around here to feed them ^^`"

Sai left them to keep his promise to spend the night with Jeb.

While Jack, Vlad and Malfoy inaugurate Jack's new home with a Star Wars movie.

They've watched this movie for the upteenth time so they started to chat about the temple - and the tree... Jack: "This temple has a strange aura. But Arturo is amazing and I feel so much better - my body and my soul will heal, Vlad. But the roots scared me a bit." Vlad: "I'm so glad, Jack. And I felt it too. I'm going to stay with you next time. We should also help out at the Temple to make it up to Arturo and repay for his help. And maybe find out why this tree feels so familiar."

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🛺 'Home crappy Home' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: 🌴 'The Expedition' from the beginning ▶️ here 🎤 'Putting the Boys Back together' from the beginning ▶️ here 🥀 'Disbandment of the Group' from the beginning ▶️ here

#home crappy home #sims 4 story #simlit #tincan #sims 4 #ts4 story #ts4 #simblr #vladimir tepesz #jack callahan #giga byte #saiwa #jeb harris #tomarang #underwater love #The Crappy Home #sims 4 vanilla #the sims 4 for rent #sims 4 for rent #for rent #R2-D2 #astromech

[what-the-stories-have-foretold]

Damn my phone must be broke ,this is the 4 time I tried to send this to you but it keeps glitching 😭

Anyways, i hope you have a good day !

Last time you told me I was free to tell you about my thoughts of my favourite Character ,so here I am ,again. :D

You really inspired me so i got this Idea :D I hope you like it !I would love to hear you’re thoughts of it because I love to image things like that a lot and I thought about posting it ,but I am too scared 🥲bc I am obv not as good as you are but hey a master has never fallen from a sky (a German sentence pls don’t ask)

So

Image Rei Furuya with a Author s/o ,they love to listen to music and image things ,read books and fanfic a lot. They probably met at first when we maybe ,got out to get fresh air in our lungs and went to the dog park where we met Amuro with his cute dog.And he ask us if we were alright because we looked like we haven’t slept in days (-/////-)

Or we‘re a regular customer at the poirot.Always eating his great sandwiches and searching for inspiration for our new book ,where we saw him(obviously he is just perfect) We sit there silently admiring him while trying to look like we would work on our laptop . 😭❤️ I hope you like it ! Have a good night and stay hydrated <33

Noooo. Literally, just try writing if you want to. You´ll get better with practice, and maybe you´ll even be surprised at how good it turns out already! If you are too worried, you can start writing privately and when you find the confidence, you can start posting then. Whatever you feel comfortable with!!!

Also, yes!!! I´m a sucker for these tropes with an author!reader with a partner who is working really dangerous jobs and can thus give them tips.

Just like: "Hey Rei, how can I write a murder that is realistic?" or "Shuichi, how do I describe a typical mission for a sniper?" and they´ll be so happy to help. Though they will tell you to be careful when someone asks where you got that information from. Just say "lots of research" since he doesn´t need anyone figuring him out.

Also, I think Rei is really big into health (unless it´s about him. He´s shit at taking care of himself pls do it for him) so maybe he´s so used to seeing your cute face in the café, but you´ve been looking so tired lately. And when he sees you in the park, he gets worried and takes you to Poirot to make you your favourite drink, maybe with a shot of espresso (if you, like me, don´t like coffee, he´ll mix it well enough so you don´t taste it) to help you wake up. He makes you tell him what´s going on and then forces you to sleep more. Though he does offer to help you with some scenes that would require research since he has incredibly vast knowledge (and if he doesn´t know something he´ll stay up really late to find it out for you, though he won´t rly tell you that. Again, he´s into health unless it´s about his own well-being...)

#rei furuya #furuya x reader #akai and furuya #akai shuichi x reader #akai x reader #akai shuichi #furuya rei x reader #furuya rei #tooru amuro #amuro tooru x reader #amuro tooru #bourbon x reader #subaru okiya #subaru x reader #what-the-stories-have-foretold #el 🌺

[transboysokka]

Chris watches Howl’s Moving Castle for the first time

* Another one I’ve heard mentioned a lot and know nothing about

* HOLY SHIT GIANT MOVING CASTLE?? idk what I was expecting

* Oh, so Howl’s a bad guy?? omg is he a werewolf I s2g if he’s a werewolf named howl…

* Claiming Sophie on behalf of the Trans Community

* Oh no is that him why is he dressed like some anime guy, he reminds me of the beast in beauty and the beast after he turns human. Is this a beauty and the beast adaptation??

* Don’t let him seduce u Sophie be strong!!!

* I do love the wild fantasy elements of all of these movies, and this one feels like it’s gonna do some worldbuilding. Into it.

* What is with these movies and creepy old ladies?

* NO THATS SOPHIE WTF

* I do think maybe I have a weird phobia of old people? Wild way to find out

* Jesus Christ I just know that scarecrow is alive

* Oh maybe not

* JESUS

* Aw he’s so sweet

* This studio loves to animate flying things and old ladies. But hey, this is the first one I’ve seen that doesn’t start with someone moving somewhere new, so we’ve got that going for us

* Lmao the scarecrow did bring her a house

* This castle freaks me tf out and I haven’t even seen inside. Real Baba Yaga energy

* Bye Turnip, what a cutie

* Okay so the fire is a cute lil guy

* Magic door? Into it. So where is she really and why is it so Cottagecore

* “Calcifer said I could come in” “I did not!”

* That bacon looks so good and I don’t even eat bacon

* I love the idea of something being built into a spell to keep you from telling anyone about it

* I love calcifer and I love Sophie’s dynamic with him

* Turnip is back, yay!!

* I bet he’s under a curse too

* I wonder if he’s the missing prince!!

* I could probably paint that lake

* DONT LIKE THE WEIRD FLYING HOWL BIRD WTF

* I’m really intrigued by him as a character though

* omg that’s Christian bales voice as howl lmao no wonder these dubs are so uncharacteristically good

* omg I’m looking at the English cast kw this SLAPS

* goddamn am I having gay thoughts about a weird anime guy noooo

* I’m crying why does howl have to be such an ugly dog

* how does the Lauren Bacall witch fit in that little carriage thing if she’s so huge, I swear this is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a long timd

* ok but I still don’t really get why Sophie had the spell cast on her in the first place, she wasn’t bothering nobody before

* I’ve gotten some antisemitic vibes from characters in other ghibli movies so far and I’m not a huge fan of the fatphobia with the villain, I just gotta say

* Lmao the dog isn’t even howl?

* wait why tf does the castle have a mouth

* why is the bad witch tagging along dump her ass

* So Sophie is young when she sleeps? I don’t get that

* Ok…. So she’s just…. Young again?

* Creepy?? Toy cave??

* Wtf why are these movies so confusing

* I might be imagining it but Sophie does seem to be gradually getting younger

* I love how gung-ho Howl is about his family and his house. Love that in a man.

* Found family themes just Get Me, u know?

* On one hand I don’t Get What’s Happening with the war, but also… I Get this movie

* Also still don’t get the aging and de-aging and I’m not sure if it’s only supposed to be metaphorical or what

* So… why did he eat her hair??

* I gotta say that I love that the only sound the ugly dog makes is us a dry cough

* Maybe the dog is called heen bc he has chicken feet and heen is like hen

* DONT EAT THAT GLOWING ORB HOWL

* yeah I have no idea what the fuck is going on right now

* Wtf howl is just… right there?

* Why was his heart even gone in the first place? Seems like he had it the whole time anyway. Did he know calcifer had it? Like I really don’t get any of that

* TURNIP IS THE PRINCE I CALLED IT

* Lol why is Sophie his true love

* And now they’re just gonna end the war???

Okay that was definitely more fun than any of the other ones I’ve seen so far. CONFUSING AS FUCK like I don’t get it at all but it was really fun. Really funny, with GREAT characters, and I was loved Billy Crystal Fire Guy, so glad I happened to watch the dub.

Also I can’t explain it, but this one is just For The Gays

I’ll watch Princess Mononoke next

#ghibli

[gallawitchxx]

get to know bee 🐝

so many lovely pals have tagged me in so many lovely things, so if you've been dying to know more about me (you are, right?) - this post is for you! 😂😌🥳

- - - - -

first up, this picrew!

tagged by @whatthebodygraspsnot & @heymrspatel 🖤

she's giving lgbtqia+ rights are the smart & sexy choice ✨🌈

- - - - -

next, it's tag game tuesday!

tagged by @celestialmickey @energievie @thepupperino & @creepkinginc 🥳

name: bee 🐝

age: the big three-zero for just a few more days 🎂

how many hours of sleep did you get last night? enough, i think! 💤

which do you use more: tumblr mobile or desktop? it depends what i'm doing! i like posting from desktop & scrolling on mobile 😌

a hobby you’d like to pick up: oooh, i'd really like to do some paint by numbers 🎨

if you were a crayon, what color would you be? sea foam green 🌊

what was your average screen time last week? hehehe it went up.... like 5+ hours? 📲

a song you put on every playlist: "silk chiffon" by MUNA because that is my gay ass right 🌈

favorite holiday: i don't think i really have one anymore tbh 🤷‍♀️

something on your bucket list: go to bali 🌴

you’re invited to a costume party, what are you dressing up as? reese witherspoon as elle woods as a playboy bunny 💗

what show takes up the most space in your brain? i mean.... shamey wamey probs! also love island my chaotic beloved ☀️

and finally, share something you’re looking forward to: hugging my friends 😭 i'm so touch-starved 😭 also i'm seeing john williams conduct a night of his film scores with the LA Phil this weekend & i am freaking stooooked 🤘🏼

- - - - -

lastly, here are 15 questions!

tagged by @gardenerian @squidyyy23 @transmickey @milkmaidovich @celestialmickey @such-a-barbarian @heymrspatel @look-i-love-u @palepinkgoat @creepkinginc @harrowhark-a-vagrant @rereadanon & @thepupperino 🖤

Were you named after anyone? nope, not that i know of!

When was the last time you cried? definitely two days ago, but maybe again today because it's cancer season & i loooove to weep 😭

Do you have kids? noooo & neverrrrrrr

Do you use sarcasm a lot? noooo & neverrrrrr (meaning yes & always)

What's the first thing you notice about people? probably their vibe. what a queer answer lmaoooo!

What’s your eye color? i'm a brown eyed girl, eat your heart out van morrison.

Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings all day!

Any special talents? i have a very strong inner compass & can navigate places i've never been in before with relative ease! this is a really handy talent tbh!

Where were you born? northern california bayybeee

What are your hobbies? writing, reading, playing with my pup, pal'ing around with my buds, going to the movies, swimming in the pool, being stupid!

Have any pets? yes, a small dream dog named gus

What sports do you play/have you played? basketball & taekwondo

How tall are you? 5'5"

Favorite subject in school? english lit, drama & french

Dream job? i do not dream of labor, but i also kind of have my dream job - i'm a writer! & i'm so grateful!

- - - - -

i'm not going to tag anyone because i feel y'all have already done these! but if you want to do any of them, please tag me! i love you all! xx

#thanks everyone for tagging me! #i loved reading all of your answers 🥳 #tagged #tag game tuesday #about bee 🐝

[quaranmine]

The Incandescence of a Dying Light (Chapter Six)

Someone’s worried about Grian, and the Forest Service comes to collect Mumbo’s bike.

Chapter Six: 8,724

<< Chapter Five | Masterpost | Chapter Seven >>

The other half of the fifth chapter! I hope you enjoy this 1988 sequence especially, I was looking forward to it a lot (and it single handedly made the chapter so long it had to be split in two!)

No real CWs this time. I personally think that if you have made it this far then I don’t really have to warn you about the themes of loss and grief anymore, but just in case: yep, still very present.

November 20, 1988

It’s about noon on a Sunday, and Grian is…not doing much, actually. He has a thousand things he needs to do, ranging from cleaning out the refrigerator to trying to change his car’s oil to looking into a part-time second job, but instead he’s lying on the couch trying to watch TV.  Somewhere along the way he tuned out of the program and started staring at the ceiling instead, mentally tracing out the patterns in the spackle. 

The man on the drones on and on in the background, until he’s just part of it. Grian can feel himself starting to drift to sleep. 

Then the phone rings. 

Grian startles awake and sits up, scowling at it in the kitchen. He hasn’t the faintest idea who is calling him, other than maybe a telemarketer, but do those people work on Sunday? Well, perhaps they do. Everyone is home then, afterall. 

It rings twice more, so he gets up and answers the phone. “Hello?” he says. 

“Griba!” shouts a voice on the other end of the line. 

And–it’s a very familiar voice. 

“Pearl?” Grian says, just the slightest bit baffled. “Is that you?”

“Hi!” she says. “How are you doing? Are you busy?”

“I’m fine,” he says. “How are you? What do you need?”

“Can’t I just call to say hi?” Pearl asks. 

“Of course, but–”

“But the international rates?” Pearl says. Then she laughs. “Oh, shush, I know you were thinking about it.”

“Oh noooo,” Grian says. “I don’t care about that at all, we can talk as long as you like.”

 It’s a lie. He was definitely thinking about the international rates, and then immediately feeling bad about it because Pearl is a friend. He puts friends before money, of course, it’s just…well, it was expensive. But worth it! Pearl is Pearl. But every minute on the phone eats into his checkbook, and it’s hard not to think about. 

Pearl laughs again. “Well, I’m glad you don’t worry about that. Not that it matters anyway; this call is local.”

Local. Local?

“Huh?”

“Yeah, you were right Griba, I did need something when I called,” Pearl says. “Can you pick me up from the airport?”

Grian’s head is spinning. “You’re at the airport?” he says incredulously. “Like, in Colorado? In Denver? Right now?”

“Yep,” Pearl says. “And I need a ride. Well, I could go get a taxi somewhere. But I figured I’d ask my friend first. Are you busy?”

Yeah, busy falling asleep to daytime TV on the couch. “Um, no,” he says. 

“Great! I’ll see you there!” Pearl says. “Wait, how long will it take? I don’t know where you live, actually. Ooh, this is exciting! I’ll finally get to see your place.”

“Um, give me like half an hour and I’ll be there,” Grian says slowly. 

He and Pearl say their goodbyes for now, and after she hangs up he finds himself staring at the phone for several moments. What just happened? First of all, Pearl’s in Denver, apparently. Second of all, he did not know this was happening. Thirdly, his afternoon just got way more interesting.

He grabs his keys off the counter and makes his way downstairs. 

»»———-　　———-««

When he arrives at the airport, in the long line of cars waiting to pick people up and drop them off at the terminal, he does not expect to see Pearl waiting outside for him. Yet he picks her out instantly, a familiar face in a crowd of strangers. 

She’s bundled up in a black hoodie. The hood is up over her head, but he can see the long wavy tendrils of brown hair peeking out from behind it. Her hands are shoved in the hoodie’s pocket, and her nose is pink from the cold. When she exhales, he can see the faintest cloud of her breath. 

He can hardly remember being so happy to see someone before. The second he sees her face, any doubt or mild annoyance at her unexpected stay just melts away. 

He pulls his car up as close as he can to her, and throws it in park. She doesn’t know what car he’s driving, of course–she’s never visited him here. He leaps out and calls her name. 

“Pearl!” he shouts. 

She spins around and a grin breaks out on her face the moment she spots him. He races up to her on the curb and she throws her arms around him in a hug immediately. They cling to each other for a moment, before letting go. 

“Oh, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you!” Pearl says.

“Oh, yeah,” Grian says. “A few years, right? Not since I’ve been here.”

“Ah!” Pearl squeaks. “I can’t wait to see it. I should’ve come for a visit so much sooner.”

Grian breathes a sigh, not of any annoyance or tiredness, but perhaps–of relief? Relief from what, he doesn’t quite know, but he’s so happy to see Pearl it’s like he can hardly speak. His breath clouds in front of him. 

“Let’s get you in the car,” he says. “It’s so cold out here, why weren’t you waiting inside?”

“Well, it might be cold out here,” Pearl says, attempting to pick up her bag. Grian steals it out from under her grasp before she can, though, so she just trails after him to the car. “But it certainly isn’t cold at home. It’s kind of nice, actually. Anyway, I wasn’t out here waiting the entire time, I just walked out a few minutes before you came.”

“Well, don’t freeze on me before you even get here,” Grian says. He loads her things in the car, and they hop in. He starts to navigate out of the airport traffic. “How long was that flight?” he asks. “I mean, I assume you flew in from Sydney.”

“Ugh, it was never ending!” Pearl says. “It was like 12 or 13 hours, and that only got me to Los Angeles. Then I had a connection here.” She glances at the clock on his dashboard. “Did you know it’s almost the same time I left?”

“Huh?”

“Yeah. I left around noon on the 20th. Then I landed and now it’s around noon on the 20th again.”

“Wow.”

“It feels like I got put in a time vortex or something and they zapped a whole day from me. And then I woke up and I’m repeating the day again.”

Grian side eyes her in the passenger seat. “Are you, perhaps, a little tired?”

“Exhausted.”

He smiles just a little. “I bet you’re hungry too,” he says. “Let’s get lunch on our way back to my apartment.”

»»———-　　———-««

They get lunch, and it’s great. They talk about various, mostly mundane things about their lives over the past few years. They’ve kept in touch ever since graduating university together, even as their lives diverged on totally different paths on totally different continents. But that was mostly just letters and phone calls. It’s entirely different to be face to face again. It’s so much better to be face to face again.

Grian asks about her career in Australia. “So, have you designed the next Sydney Opera House yet?” he teases. 

Pearl gasps in fake horror. “Of course not! There can’t be a ‘next’ Opera House, it’s iconic!”

“Eh,” Grian says. “I think you could come up with a cooler one.”

She rolls her eyes affectionately. “Alright, stop it.”

“I’m dead serious. I think you could make a better one.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “Seriously though, I mostly just do office buildings.”

“Hm, well that’s boring,” Grian says and takes a sip of his water. “We for sure don’t need any more of those.”

“That’s what most of the work is,” she says. “Lots of new development to work on! So what have you been up to? Any interesting projects lately?”

Grian hesitates a bit in replying. The answer is no, of course. Pearl’s aware of his job from some of their previous communication in the past three years, but now that they’re sitting here face to face she clearly wants to hear all about it without the constraints of a phone call or letter. 

He just, well, has nothing to say. He hasn't even really received projects lately. 

He and Mumbo came to Colorado a little over two years ago after Mumbo was offered an engineering job in Denver. Grian had figured he might as well dust off his completely unused dual citizenship and follow him here–it’s not like it was even a difficult process for him. It was the perfect sort of adventure to follow up five years of intense schooling, and an interesting place to put his new skills to test. 

It had been that which enticed him to go with Mumbo. That, and the way his stomach had twisted when he thought about saying goodbye. They’d been inseparable for over a decade and Grian refused to accept a reality where his best friend lived so far away. Truthfully, Mumbo was a little apprehensive about moving to an entirely new country alone, so this had worked out perfectly. 

Grian would go with him. They’d split an apartment and get settled in for a while and experience life in a new country. Grian would finish the rest of his architecture field training in Colorado and finally get his license. Mumbo would work on creating machines and learn about computers. 

It was fine. It was fun. They had a good time–there were endless things to do, from skiing to hiking to rafting to biking. 

Then Mumbo went missing, and Grian was just…still here, but missing everything that was worthwhile. He was struggling. Not showing up to work. Getting demoted.

“I haven’t really had anything interesting to work on,” he says finally. “There was this one house–way too massive, really, and the owner could never really decide what he wanted but he wasn’t so bad. But then I had to leave to…” 

He trails off. Pearl glances at him and opens her mouth, but she rethinks it after a moment and shuts it again. She’s smart, and part of that intelligence is knowing when to not poke around. 

“Mostly they just have me working on codes and compliance right now,” he finishes quietly. 

It’s still an important part of the process, making sure that all of the projects are in alignment with local building codes. Sometimes it’s even frustrating, when he has to figure out things like getting a water line from whichever locality is closest for someone’s house perched high on a mountainside. 

But he doesn’t have any of his own clients anymore. He does work for his coworker’s projects. He doesn’t do any drafting. He doesn’t touch any blueprints. He doesn’t design anything. 

It’s not really the update that he wants to give Pearl. They met each other in university because they studied in the same architecture program. They spent long nights in the library together. He’s seen her rip up her papers in frustration when things weren’t working quite right, and she’s seen him start crying on the floor of her dorm room the night before a particularly major test. They graduated together. 

It just doesn’t look good. Of course, he knows Pearl very well. She isn’t going to think anything less of him. It’s more, well, himself that he has to worry about. 

Pearl purses her lips, and moves on. “Well,” she says, “that’s all very important. God knows we studied it enough. Don’t worry about projects, you’ll find some cool work soon.”

“As cool as office buildings?”

“With any luck, even better,” she says. 

“How long are you staying?” he asks, realizing he still doesn’t know. 

“Little over a week,” she responds. “I’m leaving next Monday.”

He frowns. “I probably have work, but maybe I can take off a morning to take you back to the airport–”

“I can survive in a taxi,” Pearl says. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Well, you asked me to pick you up this time.”

“Mm, well, I wanted to see you,” she says, “and I had a feeling you weren’t going to be busy.”

He hates that she’s right, but only just a little. He’s sort of glad he wasn’t busy so that he could see her, since she’s apparently decided to drop this entire trip on him with no notice whatsoever. It does not miss him that she could have done this basically any weekend in the last several months and landed on a day where he wasn’t busy. 

“What are your plans for this week?” he asks.

“I want to see everything!” Pearl says, and stretches her arms wide to accommodate the words. She has to pull her arm back in quick, since she nearly smacks a waitress walking by. They both descend into laughter. 

“Pearl,” Grian hisses, “we’re in public!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” she whispers. “I’m just so excited! I want to sightsee!”

Grian leans back in his chair and regards her with a critical eye. He’s smiling. “I don’t know if a week is enough to see everything,” he says. 

“I am going to do my best,” she says, mock-serious. 

It suddenly hits Grian. “Wait,” he groans. “I seriously have to work tomorrow. And Tuesday. I could ask off, but…” He winces as he trails off. “I kind of have a track record with my boss and I don’t think he really appreciates me calling out last minute.”

“That’s fine,” Pearl says. “What? I know I came here without telling you but it’s not like I wasn’t prepared to take care of myself. I’ll just see some things on my own.”

Grian nods. “I have a half-day on Wednesday,” he says, “but I think he’d be more amenable to letting me have that as a full day. Then Thursday’s off for Thanksgiving, and Friday too. Then of course the weekend.”

Pearl looks self-satisfied. “Good. I meant to plan it that way so you’d have a little time off.”

“So what do you want to do?” he asks. “One of them, I guess, since everything’s on the table.”

Pearl leans closer to him across the table. “Please,” she says. “I want to go skiing. I’ve never been skiing. Can we please go skiing? Please?”

Grian laughs again at the face she’s making. She’s so dead serious in her begging. “I’ll call around and see if any places are open. As you can see, we don’t have any snow around here right now. But further up into the actual mountains probably does.”

“Eee!” Pearl squeaks in excitement. “I’m so ready.”

“Oh?” Grian says. “I will literally bet you on how many times you fall.”

“I’ll take your money,” she says. “I’ll be the greatest first-time skier there ever was.”

“You will fall on your butt no less than a dozen times,” he shoots back. 

They continue talking for a while, back and forth. Pearl tells him about various stories and adventures from Australia. She begs him to come visit–she came here, so now it’s his turn to come to her. Maybe next summer, when it’ll be cooler in Australia and hotter down here. 

She’s obviously prepared for their trip and seeing him again, because she’s also brought photos to share with him. He looks through a few photos of what her house looks like, what a few buildings she’s worked on looks like, a picture of her by the ocean (she says he can keep that one, as long as she gets to go home with a photo of him), and even the two cats she has adopted. 

They get the check–Grian pays for the whole thing without blinking–and head back to his apartment.

They’re discussing sleeping arrangements as they walk up Grian’s stairwell. He has his keys out already, and they clang a little step-by-step. 

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” he declares. “End of story.”

“But,” she says, “I’ll feel so bad taking your bed from you.”

“You’re a guest!” he says. “I’m not letting you sleep for a week on the couch! You can take my bed.”

Neither of them mention that there’s a third option. Or really a fourth, because Pearl could always get a hotel room if it didn't work out, but she had asked to stay with him. She must have spent so much on flights already, it was the least he could do. 

So there’s really only three options, and only two are being discussed. The apartment is a two bedroom. Mumbo’s room has sat empty for five months now, completely untouched. But that room isn’t up for grabs–it’s a time capsule, frozen from the moment he left it. Grian doesn’t mention it. Pearl is smart enough to not ask about it. 

“Ugh, fine,” Pearl says, rolling her eyes. “I guess I’ll take your room. If you make me. I still feel like it’s weird though.”

Grian freezes on the top step, and Pearl nearly bumps into him. “Oh no,” he mumbles. “My apartment is–Pearl, listen, I didn’t know you were coming, so I didn’t really take a chance to clean up anything, so it’s definitely a little messy in here, and–”

She cuts him off, voice bright. “So what I’m hearing is the couch might be better than your room?”

“No, ugh, I’m just saying I’m sorry that this place looks so bad.” He sighs. 

“I get it,” she says. “Don’t worry.”

“It’s not how I wanted it to be,” he says softly, and slots the key into the handle. “Just let me work on it, I’ll get it fixed up.”

They go into the apartment. Really, it isn’t that bad, but he’s embarrassed about it nonetheless. It isn’t filthy or grimy, it’s just cluttered. He’s always been a cluttered person. There’s stuff lying randomly about, like the somewhat muddy shoes by the door, the jackets shed across chairs, or the laundry basket of unfolded clothes sitting on a dining room chair. At least three random empty drinking glasses are sitting on the coffee table in the living room. And, well, he could have probably bothered to do the dishes from the last three days, but there’s only one of him and he doesn’t cook much, so really it isn’t very much even if it looks bad.

Everything in here would be so fast to clean up, but whenever he tries it feels like an insurmountable barrier. He does things a little at a time, so that it never gets too out of hand, but he can’t remember the last time it looked good. It’s just something that’s continually slipping further and further away. It feels like one day he’ll wake up and it will finally be completely out of control. 

Pearl doesn’t say anything. She just walks in and drops her bags–which she had insisted on carrying since he insisted on paying for lunch–on the floor and puts her hands on her hips. “This is a cute place,” she says. “I like the lighting from the windows. And you’ve got a view of the mountains!”

“It’s cute when it’s clean,” he mutters. It’s like he knows how to be ashamed of how the place looks, but not how to do anything about it. He’s got the external motivation of another human being seeing it now though, and he’s itching to work and hide everything here.

Maybe it’s concerning that his main motivation after months on end is just so that he can hide. This thought does not cross his mind, because the sort of people who hide things from others are fantastic at hiding things from themselves, too. 

“I saw your dorm room in university,” she reminds him. “You can’t seriously think I wasn’t prepared for your clutter.”

“This is worse,” Grian groans. 

“Eh, not really,” Pearl says. “I think you’re doing well, all things considered.”

All things considered. Grian bites his lip. It’s nice that she thinks so. He isn’t sure where she got that impression, but if he can spend the rest of the week cultivating it then maybe she’ll stop worrying. 

She walks over to the laundry basket on the chair. “Is this clean?” she asks. 

“Yes, of course,” he responds, and he wants to add “I’m not that bad" to the end of the statement until he remembers the floor of his bedroom, which is exactly “that bad.” 

“Great!” she says. And then she sits down. And starts folding it.

“What are you doing?” he asks, and snatches the basket away from her. “You’re a guest! You’re on vacation! Don’t be doing that?”

Pearl frowns. “Um,” she says. “Just helping?”

“I don’t need you to help,” he says, and it comes out a bit harsher than intended. “Just, like, go relax or something. Take a nap. I know you’re exhausted.”

A brief look of hurt flashes over her face, and vanishes almost as quickly as it arrives. “Grian?” she asks. “What do you think I’m here for?”

“To see me?” he says, confused. 

“Yeah,” she says. “Of course it’s to see you, I missed you. But also to help.”

“I missed you too,” he says automatically, but when the rest of the sentence catches up to him he shakes his head. “I don’t need help.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You don’t? Then why can nobody get a hold of you, Grian? Why does your apartment look like this? Why do you deflect phone calls and make excuses? We’re all worried about you, you know. We don’t know what’s going on.”

“We?” Grian says. “You’re talking about me behind my back? Who’s we?”

“Well, we wouldn’t be talking behind your back if you talked to us,” Pearl replies, matter-of-fact. “And the ‘we’ is your friends. Your family, Grian.”

“I’m fine,” he snaps. “I’m sorry to have you worried but you don’t need to be.”

“You don’t get to try that on me,” Pearl says firmly. “I know you too well.”

“Maybe that’s why I don’t talk to you,” he says. 

Pearl looks back at him, for a long time. He doesn’t return her eye contact, and instead begins to pick up the glasses from the coffee to take them into the kitchen. He knows looking at her will just make him sad. He also knows that he really, really wants to look back at her. 

He misses her so hard it hurts. Mumbo hasn’t come back, but she did. She was never really missing, though–just separated far, far, away by circumstance. 

She takes a deep breath. “Well. Maybe that’s why I didn’t tell you I was coming.”

He says nothing, and turns on the tap. It’ll take a moment for the water to heat up. 

“You always try to hide,” she says. She picks up another item out of the basket and begins to fold it. “But you can’t hide if you didn’t expect me to come.”

She reads him like a book every time. It was a definite contributing factor to their friendship–they’d clicked fast and gotten very close in university. They understood each other well, and shared not only the same area of study but also the same ideas about pulling mischief on campus. There used to be a point in time where her reading him like a book served both of them well, but not today. 

“I told you to stop folding that,” Grian says.

Pearl drops it with a huff. “No,” she says. “I’m not going to stop. You said I was the guest, right? Guests get to do what they want. And maybe I want to help you clean up.”

He finally turns to look at her. Her blue eyes are wide and just the slightest bit watery. He’s done that–he’s been the one to make her that worried. He turns back to the sink. 

“Okay,” he says quietly, words almost lost in the water running into the sink. He says okay because he can’t imagine even trying to fight her on this. “We can work on it together.”

»»———-　　———-««

The cleaning goes well, up until it doesn’t.

“Grian, what is this?” Pearl says from the other room, loudly. She’s finished folding his things and has fortunately just left them all in the basket for him to put up himself, declining to go rifling through his dresser and closet. The next task she has taken upon herself has apparently been working through the clutter in the living room area, which is always a dangerous place.

Grian sticks his head around the corner from the kitchen. He’s finished doing the dishes, and is just drying them off now to put in the cabinet. “Let me see,” he says. 

She turns around and Grian’s heart sinks immediately. She’s standing by his desk, the nice one by the window that he always liked to sit and draft at. She’s holding a few pieces of paper that Grian really didn’t mean to leave out. Because he definitely did leave them out–Pearl is nosy, and she’ll fly all the way across the world to drop in uninvited, but she isn’t the kind of person who goes through drawers. 

But he did just say she was nosy. Nosy enough to read something he left out. 

He drops the dish towel. “Give me those,” he says, and crosses the living room to the corner she’s in. He tries to snatch it out of her hand.

“Nope, not so fast,” she says, and holds them higher, squinting at them so she can read. Grian is, at this moment, extremely annoyed that she is so much taller than he is. He can’t quite grab them out of her hand. 

“Pearl,” he whines. 

“Shh, I’m reading.” Her eyes widen, and she looks back at Grian. He feels the slightest bit locked in her gaze’s intensity. It’s equal parts scrutinizing and empathetic. Like she feels bad for him, but is also a little disappointed. “Are these late notices?”

She files through them one by one. Grian cringes. He’d rather melt into the floor than be here. “Most of them are already paid,” he says feebly. 

“Most of them?” she looks back at him. Her brows are knit up, and it creases her forehead.

“I, uh, get paid this week,” he says. This is another lie. He gets paid at the end of the month, but she doesn’t need to know that.

She doesn’t seem fully convinced, but she hands them back to him and he takes them from her so sharply he almost tears the paper. He puts them in the drawer and slams it shut. It rattles the whole desk.

“The top one was about your credit card payment,” she says slowly, as if she’s halfway between deciding whether to say something and not, but was already saying it before she could finish the debate. 

Grian fixes her with a glare and she wilts under it, immediately looking away. He shoves his hands behind his back, because suddenly they seem shaky. His chest is tight, and his jaw is set, and–he’s angry. He’s so, so angry, and it feels like it’s burning him up, white-hot. 

“Why did you read those?” he demands. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to find it, it was just laying on the desk–”

“You could have ignored it.” 

Pearl crosses her arms. He’s activated her fight mode, and he rarely does well against her when she tries to be stubborn. 

“I’m just worried about you,” she says. 

Grian shakes his head. “I can’t with you right now,” he says. His tone is icy even while his whole body feels hot. “They were laying on the desk because I didn’t expect to have any guests.” 

He turns away from her and walks partway across the living room floor toward the kitchen, and then whirls around again. “You’re just..showing up uninvited, messing with my stuff, reading my mail? Is that where we are now?” his voice cracks a little on the last time. “It’s the first time I’ve seen you in three years and this is where we’re at now?”

Pearl takes a breath. “I just wanted to help,” she says. It falls flat. 

“It isn’t your business.”

“You never said you needed money.”

“Because it isn’t your business.” He enunciates every syllable clearly. 

She runs a hand through her hair in a nervous, agitated gesture. “None of know what’s going on with you, Grian,” she says. “We didn’t know about this, so what else don’t we know about?”

He doesn’t answer. 

“Okay, fine,” she says desperately. “This wasn’t my business. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have looked at it. But I meant what I said, okay? We don’t know anything about what’s going on with you!”

“There’s the ‘we’ again,” he says. 

She shakes her head, incredulous. “Do I have to literally spell it out for you? Did you forget our names when you moved to America? It’s Jimmy, and Joel, and Martyn, and Netty, and Lizzie. It’s your mom. It’s Mumbo’s parents.” She pauses for just a moment, taking in a short, if slightly hysterical, breath. “It’s me.”

He doesn’t want to hear their names again. He misses them enough already. 

“I’ve talked to them,” he says instead. Simple.

Pearl throws her arms in the air. “For hardly more than five minutes!”

“Well,” he says, with a bitter laugh, “you certainly know I don’t have the money for long-distance calls.”

“I guess I walked into that one,” she says. She stops, but there’s a funny look on her face that keeps Grian quiet. He’s still standing a few feet away from her after he walked off earlier. Her face scrunches up, like she’s trying not to cry, and after another moment she speaks softly: “Mumbo was my friend too, you know.”

It’s soft, but it still hits Grian like a ton of bricks. 

She continues, and doesn’t look him in the eye. “I know he was your friend first, but I cared about him too. We all did.” Suddenly she’s crossing the floor toward him again, closing the distance he had put between them. “But it almost hurts just as bad to know you’re still out here alone. And that you aren’t okay.”

Grian swallows back against the lump that is rapidly forming in his throat. “I’m fine,” he whispers. 

“I don’t believe you,” she says. 

“I’m fine,” he insists. 

“You need to go home to visit,” Pearl says. “Even just for the holidays. Please. Everybody’s worried about you.” She huffs a small little laugh. “They’re all worried and then they’re calling me because they think I know what’s going on. Because I always used to know what was going on with you. And then I have to tell them I don’t know either.”

Grian doesn’t respond.

“They’d be so happy, you know,” Pearl says. “To see you.”

“I’d never come back,” Grian mumbles. “If I went.”

“What?”

“They wouldn’t let me leave,” he says, stronger. “If I went home they wouldn’t let go.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Pearl asks.

Grian shakes his head like he’s breaking free of her request. “I have to stay here, because Mumbo is here.”

Pearl blinks, and then sighs. “Okay. I still think you should visit, though.”

Her eyes drift away from his face and over to the hallway behind him, the one all the bedrooms and bathrooms break off of. She speaks again sharply. “The money problem, it’s because of Mumbo isn’t it? You used to split all of the rent and stuff because he was your roommate. But now it’s all on you.”

“Something like that,” Grian admits, and it feels like he’s speaking around a block sitting in his mouth.

Their apartment is nice. Not luxurious by any means, but still a decent place to live. His neighbor down the hall yells at him sometimes if he comes back home too late and their door used to slam unpredictably until the landlord finally fixed it months later, but isn’t that all just everyday woes of having an apartment? 

The apartment is nice, but it was never meant to be paid for by one person. Well, maybe a well-paid person. It’s not like his landlord wouldn’t have rented it out to a single person if they could pay. But Grian had never planned to pay for it by himself. And while architecture could be a well-paying job, he was very much still at the entry level. He’d only barely gotten his license after years of schooling and on-site training. 

And then he’d gotten demoted for not showing up. The demotion wasn’t in job duties only, as he’d discovered on his very next paycheck. 

So now he does what he can. He pays the major, important things first. Sometimes they’re a little late, depending on if his check has hit his bank account yet, but it gets done. He starts to depend more and more on his credit card for other things. He pays his minimum payment every month but he doesn’t feel good about watching it accrue. 

“I can help you pay it off-” Pearl starts to say. 

“No,” Grian says. “You aren’t doing that.”

“I can help you pay it off,” Pearl repeats stubbornly. “But Griba, if you can’t afford this place by yourself, you need to just move to someplace else. Smaller. Cheaper.”

“You know I can’t do that,” he says. 

She tilts her head, expression gentle in a way that makes him instinctively recoil. “You can’t keep living here if you can’t pay. This is bad.”

“It’s okay,” he says distantly. “It’s only temporary.”

Pearl pauses. She has a horrible look on her face, so Grian looks away from her instead. “Temporary?” she asks. The word is tentative.

“Until Mumbo gets back,” he says. He grabs her hand, and pulls it closer to him, feeling suddenly like it’s very important that she hears him and understands this. “I can’t leave,” he says earnestly. “All of his stuff his here. It’s his home too.”

Pearl’s eyes are wide. “I can help you pack it,” she says. “You don’t even have to mess with it, or look at it, I can do that for you.”

He drops her hand. “No,” he says, baffled. “I’m not moving anything of his out of here. When they find him, he deserves to actually come home. He can’t come back to a strange place!”

Pearl squeezes her eyes shut. “Griba, please,” she says. He notices all at once that she’s brought his nickname out these past few times, which is a fact that should be comforting but instead starts to set off alarm bells in his head. 

“I’m not moving, and that’s final,” he says. “I’m not going to abandon him.”

“You’re not abandoning him, you’re just…”

“Just what?”

“Being smart.”

It hurts Grian. “He deserves to come home,” he bites. “I don’t care if it isn’t the smart thing to do, it’s the right thing to do.”

Pearl backs up. “Okay,” she says. “Okay.” She takes a deep breath and exhales long and slow. “You’ll stay. I’ll just help you then, yeah? Bills, cleaning, everything else…”

She turns away from him, and starts picking up various items once more to organize them. “I’ll just help,” she repeats.

She wanders around the room. She’s not getting much done, but she looks busy, inspecting everything around her for one more easy thing to do. Grian just stands in the middle of the room stock still, and both says and does nothing. 

Pearl continues to busy herself for a few minutes before grinding to a halt again. “Griba?” she asks, and Grian turns to her again as an answer. “You do have other people to talk to, right? People who live here?”

It’s a valid question. It’s a hard question. 

“Of course,” he says. 

“Stop lying to me,” she pleads. “I already told you I know you too well.”

He swallows hard. “I have people,” he defends. “Had people.”

It’s just that–it was difficult, after Mumbo disappeared. The new friends that Grian and Mumbo had made, they had mostly made as a pair. They each knew a few people from work, but nobody to really hang out with. So most of the friends they met were people they met while doing an activity together some weekend or evening after work. 

So the new friends missed Mumbo too, when they heard about what happened. But they didn’t know Grian the way Mumbo did, or the way Jimmy or Joel or Martyn or Netty or Lizzie or Pearl did. They knew Grian as one half of a pair who was missing his other half. And Grian didn’t know how to interact with them alone. He didn’t know how to go to them for help when they’d barely been in his life for a few months or a year or two. 

There’s layers to friendships, everybody knows that. None of the people Grian had met in Colorado had made it to the layer where he could talk to him. They were nice people. They wanted to help. Grian didn’t know how to let them. 

So he withdrew. 

“You had people. But not anymore?” Pearl asks. 

“I didn’t know them very well,” is all he says. 

Her expression breaks again. Grian has to stop doing that. “But you know us and you still don’t talk to us.”

“I just want to be alone,” Grian says. “Please, it isn’t personal. I just want to be alone.”

“I guess you’ll have to suck it up,” Pearl says. “Because I’m staying here for a week. And I will drag you outside to go skiing with me. I’m going to make you leave this house and we’re going to have fun together. Because I think you need that. And so do I.”

He turns and stalks back into the kitchen. He’s flipping between so many emotions that he doesn’t know which to settle on, so he seeks out something to busy his hands with instead: the dishes on the counter that still have to be dried. 

If he stays in the living room, he might start arguing with her more. He might say something that will make her not want to visit again. 

He’s angry at Pearl. Furious, even. Offended. He could look past her coming unannounced to visit, but the whole thing seems like a plot now. She’s got ulterior motives. She’s purposefully trying to catch him unaware and sneak past all his guard walls. She’s snooping through his things–his mail. It makes his spine crawl to think about. She’s literally trying to get him to move, even though she’s barely been in the state of Colorado for three hours, and even though it means Grian would have to disturb Mumbo’s belongings. 

And still there’s another part of him that just really, really wants to go skiing with her. 

Because–he misses her. He cares about her. And he misses even the simplest things, like getting out of the house to go do something with a friend. It’s just the littlest piece of normalcy. 

So he dries the dishes, and she finishes up in the living room. Then he goes to his bedroom and starts working there–without her, because he doesn’t want her in the room until he’s made it look nice. Safe, even. Clear of any items that could incriminate him in anything at all. The sheer irritation of the afternoon fuels him harder than anything in months, and he finishes the task even quicker than expected, his movements stiff and jerky with anger. 

On one of his trips back and forth to put things back where they need to go, he spots her sitting at his desk. She looks a little sad, staring at the pattern of the wood grain instead of the pretty view outside. He ignores her and goes back to work. 

They exist like this in silence, for a little over an hour. 

Then Grian walks back into the living room, picks up the phone book from the shelf, and sits down at the table by the kitchen where the phone is. 

Pearl whirls around and he can feel her watching him with intense eyes. “Griba, I…” she trails off. “I wanted to say I’m sorry again. I shouldn’t have pressed you like that. I shouldn’t have looked at your bills. And I shouldn’t have come here without telling you.”

Grian just nods slightly. “Yeah.” He flips through some more pages. He doesn’t say anything else to her, just continues on his search. 

She cocks her head slightly. “What are you doing?” she asks. 

“Trying to find a ski resort to call,” he says with a weak smile. “Because I still really want you to drag me out skiing with you.”

»»———-　　———-««

June 1989

It’s two days later when a pair of rangers come to collect Mumbo’s bike. 

They ask him if he has everything he needs, or if he has any requests for supplies that they can pass on to the main office. So Grian takes the first opportunity to ask them about the Cloud Lake Trail, and if it was really closed last season. 

It’s then that he realizes that these two probably aren’t actually rangers at all. They may be dressed in uniform, but they’re just a couple kids several years younger than Grian is. They want to be helpful so earnestly, and their disappointment is clear when they can’t answer his question.  

They inform him that it’s their first season working here, so they’re not exactly sure about what the Cloud Lake Trail was like last year, but that it’s open right now if he’s interested in it! Grian realizes that they’re a couple of seasonal workers just like he is, except they’re on summer break from college and Grian’s floundering on the cusp of his 30s. 

They’re friendly. Grian tries his best to match the energy, for the sake of politeness.

He asks them what the plan is about Mumbo’s case, and doesn’t really expect much. Apparently, there’s a bit of gossip about the case around the ranger’s office, so they do know a little. The plan seems to be to conduct a few aerial searches of the area the bike was found in with a helicopter. They also told him he could expect a more detailed phone call soon from the main office. 

That’s a little amusing to Grian, given his tower does not have a phone line. 

He bids them farewell at midday and watches them disappear into the woods. Then, he decides it’s about time for lunch. He takes an hour, locks up the cabin behind him, and heads to a rocky outcropping he knows nearby to the tower. 

It’s a beautiful spot to sit and stay a while, and a good vantage point into a little valley. Grian sits on a boulder and finishes his lunch, and tries to think about things that aren’t so negative for once. 

He’s so used to looking. Looking for fires, looking for helicopters, looking for storms, looking for lightning, looking for Mumbo. It’s what he’s good at, so he tries to challenge himself to look at something else for once. 

A few feet from him, there’s a small stand of light purple flowers with narrow, silvery green leaves growing. They’re snagging their spot in the ground amidst the surrounding rock. One of the features of his tower is a somewhat excessive amount of posters left there from years past, most of which were fire, forest, rock, or plant related. Grian thinks he’s seen this little plant several times before. He’s watched it spread from just a few sprouts in May to coating the meadows in a wash of purple the past few weeks. 

It’s a lupine. Growing alone, but steadily. 

He looks more into the mini valley below. It’s not so much a vast sweeping valley as it is a wide little canyon for the stream that flows at the bottom. It’s fascinating to look at though. To think how long it might have taken for that little body of water to have carved it down like this. There’s some small rocky cliffs along the edges in some places, and he can see the darker parts of the rocks where the water pours off during a storm. 

It’s as quiet as the forest can be. Which, in the summertime, isn’t very quiet at all. There’s cicadas buzzing all around him right now. That was something new for Grian ever since he moved–they didn’t have cicadas in England. But as loud as they are, it’s a pleasant background noise he’s become adjusted to. 

He leans back on the rock and stares into the sky for a bit, watching the handful of clouds that there are today drift along. There’s a hawk or an eagle or something flying high up there too, gliding effortlessly along the air currents. He watches it for a while. 

When Grian’s hour is up, he gathers his things, and walks back to the tower. 

Scar calls him on the way. 

“Are you there, G-man?” he asks. 

Grian pulls out his radio from his pocket. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I am. Some kids came and took Mumbo’s bike away earlier.”

“Yeah?” Scar says. “How was that? What did they say?”

“They didn’t know much,” Grian says. “A couple of seasonal workers. But it’s fine, I guess. I know the main office will be looking into this again. They told me there might be some aerial searches in the future. I just wish it was higher on the priority list, I guess.”

“Well, they have their priorities and we have ours,” Scar declares. “But I think I can shed a little light on it, maybe. I spent most of the morning on the phone.”

It’s kind, what Scar is doing for him. That Scar is helping him like this at all, not even accounting for spending time scouring his notes from the prior season or spending all morning on the phone. Grian needs to thank him, or convey his appreciation somehow, or apologize for snapping at him so much, but instead all he says is: “What did you find?”

“I wish I had better news,” Scar says. 

Grian locks away the part of him that is always stabbed with instant anxiety over statements like that. He takes it, locks it away, and smooths it over. He’s walking on the trail back to the lookout right now, one foot in front of the other. He can handle just another conversation. 

“Well, I seem to always be lacking in good news,” Grian jokes lightly. “So just give me what you got.”

“I talked to a friend in the main office, she’s really sweet. She went to pull the records for me.”

“They’re still on file? Good.”

“Everything’s on file, Grian,” Scar says. “The government will keep an old shoe for a decade if they think it’s a record, let alone anything that relates to an open case.”

Grian grimaces a little. “Well, go on then.”

“She found his backcountry permit information from last year. And…” Scar trails off for a bit. “He’s permitted for Cloud Lake Trail. He even had designated camping spots, she even told me which ones.”

“So the trail was open?” Grian says. 

“Not exactly,” Scar says. “The trail was closed.”

“What?” Grian says. “They permitted him for a closed trail?”

“Apparently?” Scar says. “That’s what I got.”

“Why?”

“I wish I knew.”

“What else did she say? Who issued the permit?”

“She didn’t say anything else, so I don’t know. I’ve never worked in the main office. I don’t think she was even supposed to tell me that, honestly, but we’ve always got along pretty good since she started working here.”

“Right,” Grian says. “You’re not an information wizard…”

“I have no more information to give, unfortunately,” Scar says. “I am a wizard, though.”

“You are not a wizard.”

“I’m many things, Grian. You’re just a nonbeliever.”

Grian just shakes his head at that, leaving that thread of the conversation behind. There’s just so many questions that keep coming up. 

“So we can agree he was on Cloud Lake,” Grian says. “Right? Regardless of all that, we can assume this right? He told me he was going there, his car was there, he was permitted for it, and someone said they saw him there. So he was there, right? We searched there, and he was there.”

But…

“It seems likely,” Scar says. “At one point, at least.”

“But then someone found his bike over on Pinnacles. How did it get there? Did he go there for some reason?”

“There isn’t an official trail that connects Cloud Lake and Pinnacles. It’s not a loop or a network or anything. Maybe he could have found a way between them or went on an unofficial side trail. There’s a lot of things that look like they could be a trail that aren’t really trails.”

“No,” Grian says. “He knows better than to take an unmarked trail. He said he was getting maps at the office when he got his permit too, so he would have known where the trails were. He wouldn’t have done that.”

“Grian.” 

Just his name, the weight it holds, and nothing else.

Grian’s face crumples a bit. He doesn’t want to admit it. It hurts to admit it.  “Okay, fine!” he cries. “Maybe he did go off-trail, maybe he did make a mistake, whatever. But it’s not his fault if something bad happened, okay? It isn’t.”

There’s another option to all of this that Grian hasn’t said out loud yet. He’s been thinking it off and on though for a long time, as he tries to fit these pieces into the larger puzzle. Nobody had any reason to think about foul play but him. There’s no evidence. But what other evidence do they have?

He went camping. He went missing. The search failed. Some of his belongings were found in the wrong place. 

And that is, essentially, it. 

“Do you think what happened to him…” he trails off. “Do you think it could have been someone else?”

Maybe Mumbo never did make a mistake. Maybe he was exactly where he was supposed to be, sans closed trail, and there was just something else that got in the way. 

“Someone else?” Scar says, tentatively. 

“Do you think someone out there might have taken him? Hurt him?” Grian is back at the base of his tower now, and he looks up at its spiraling staircase. He begins to take the steps one by one, watching as the horizon slowly inches into view as he climbs above the trees. “Did someone steal his bike? Is that why it’s somewhere else?”

“I…” Scar trails off. “I guess we don’t know if something like that happened. G, there’s a lot of ways someone can get in trouble back here.”

“And one of them could have been someone else,” Grian says. “Doesn’t this connect some of the dots, Scar? So much of this doesn’t make sense, but if someone else was involved, couldn’t that answer some of these questions?”

But the words hang heavier in the air now that he’s spoken to them. 

If Mumbo had just gotten lost, or injured, or something else while alone in the woods, Grian has some hope of saving him. Mumbo is blindingly smart, with an engineer’s eye for designing devices and contraptions. He could be okay. He’s a little lost, but Grian can find him. 

But if Mumbo’s incident was linked to another person, the odds in Grian’s mind plummet. If Mumbo ran into someone bad at some point during his trip, would he have escaped that confrontation? If someone had decided to hurt him, or take him, or rob him, or whatever–then Mumbo’s continued absence just looms more and more ominously. 

Would he make it out of something like that? Would he survive it? 

Grian reaches the top of his tower. If he looks straight through the windows of his cabin and out the other side, he can see Scar’s little cabin far in the distance. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “But I don’t think I want to talk about this anymore. Thank you for the new information though.”

He turns his radio off and goes inside. He spends the rest of his work day in silence, watching the smoke twist in the air. 

<< Chapter Five | Masterpost | Chapter Seven >>

#grian #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanfic #goodtimeswithscar #gtwscar #pearlescentmoon #hc_firewatch_au #quara fanfic

[lume-nosity]

JFDSJFLDSKJF LUME HAVE I EvER MENTIONED STRAIGHT UP HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU LIKE YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I ACTIVELY FOLLOWED AFTER MY FEW DaYS ON TUMBLR AND I WAS SO SCARED TO ASK TO BE YOUR MOOTIE BUT YOU WERE SO NICE AND I AM STILL TO THIS DAY SO HAPPY WHENEVER I GET A NOTIF SAYING THAT yOUVE SAID SOMETHING COMPLETLEY UNHEARD OF ABySYmAL IMPROBABLE AND PROBABLY SOCIALLY UNNACEPTABLE BUT I STILL LVOE YOU BECAUSE YOURE JUST BEING A SILLY GOOSE AND WE ARE ALL SILLY GOOSES ?!?!

this made me have the biggest smile ever and the day hasn’t even started yet.. that’s something. basically i just woke up and smiled really big :) it’s a good feeling but ahem. this’ll be quite long so bear with me.

MELONNNN MY SWEET FELLOW (NORMAL) XIAO SIMP LOVER I LOVE YOU TOO SOSOSOSO MUCH I’M SUPER GLAD I WAS THE FIRST PERSON YOU ACTIVELY FOLLOW WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED HERE!! DON’T EVER BE SCARED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING, POP IN MY INBOX, OR WHATEVER ELSE BECAUSE INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE IS MY FORTE (NOT IRL THOUGH THAT’S A GIVEN BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN)

I LOVE MAKING NEW MUTUALS SO NOOOO DON’T BE SCARED TO ASK IF YOU WANT TO BE MUTUALS WITH ME THIS GOES FOR ANYONE TOO BECAUSE I LIKE MEETING NEW PEOPLE HERE REGARDLESS OF WHERE THEY STAND IN THEIR PLATFORM <3 JUST PICKING MUTUALS UP TO BE ONE OF MY CHILDREN PLATONICALLY BECAUSE SOME SEE ME AS A PARENTAL FIGURE (MAKES SENSE BECAUSE I’M OLD AND WRINKLING ALREADY MY INTELLIGENCE LEVELS ARE ACTIVELY DROPPING) OR JUST GOOD FRIENDS TO MESS AROUND WITH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME I SUPPOSE, SEE ME AS A PARENT, COOL, A NICE FRIEND, COOL, A TALENTED WRITER EVEN THOUGH I RARELY WRITE NOW, SURE YEAH, A CRAZY PERSON, FAIR, AND MORE

TO HEAR THAT I’M NICE AND ALL THAT JAZZ ESPECIALLY SEEING THAT PEOPLE ARE COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY WITH JUST A FEW WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH MAKES ME HAPPY AND GIDDY INSIDE THIS IS SOMETHING I REALLY NEED TO HEAR, ESPECIALLY THIS ASK, SO THANK YOU MAN!! I’M NICE I DON’T BITE I PROMISE THOSE WHO KNOW ME CAN VOUCH

IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO SEE HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN DURING YOUR TIME HERE BECAUSE I REMEMBER YOUR BLOG BEING GREEN AND CUTE AND ALL THAT! AND YOUR BLOG IS MORE ORGANIZED (MORE ORGANIZED THAN ME THAT’S FOR SURE) AND PRETTY AND COLORFUL AND YOUR WORKS GETTING A FEW NOTES BUT NOW YOU’RE GETTING THOUSANDS!! WHICH IS VERY MUCH DESERVED!!! LOVE YOUR WORK!!!! I FEEL LIKE A PROUD PARENT/MOM/DAD NGL IT BRINGS A TEAR TO MY EYE TO SEE MUTUALS GETTING THE LOVE AND ATTENTION THEY DESERVE FOR THEIR TALENTS

I KNOW I SAY THE MOST WILDEST, SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE, UNHEARD OF AND OTHER BIG WORDS THINGS AT TIMES (we love being silly) AND TO SEE SOMEONE BEING HAPPY OVER THEM IS JUST FHAHFHSGSDHSH???? WOOO SOMEONE ENJOYS SEEING ME BEING GOOFY AND OVERALL A MENACE TO SOCIETY LET’S GOOO

WE’RE ALL JUST SILLY GOOSES YOU’RE RIGHT, IT’S THAT NICE FEELING OF SILLINESS THAT YOU CAN’T SEEM TO GET RID OF (IT HAS TAKEN OVER ME AS YOU CAN SEE)

ALSO I SEE THAT YOU WERE STUDYING THE OTHER DAY AND STRESSING OUT GOING APESHIT ABOUT IT I WOULD’VE MADE THAT COMMENT LONGER HAD I NOT BEEN IN SCHOOL AND THAT DUMBASS CHARACTER LIMIT (WOW LOOK AT ME BEING SNEAKY WITH IT, DON’T TRY THIS GUYS UNLESS YOUR SCHOOL IS CHILL) SO I CAN SAY IT HERE!!! #LUMESTUDYTIPSFRFR ANYONE CAN USE THEM

IF YOU’RE STUDYING, TAKE BREAKS FOR LIKE 10 OR 30 MINUTES MAX BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I DO WHEN I STUDY FOR SO LONG! DON’TTT EVER STUDY FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME WITHOUT BREAKS THAT’LL HURT YOU A LOT (TAKE IT FROM ME, DON’T DO THAT IT’S BAD. 2020 ME WAS STUPID)

EAT A LITTLE SNACK BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN AND STOMACH NEEDS SOME FOOD TO FEED OFF OF TO FUNCTION, A DRINK TO HYDRATE FROM IT CAN BE WATER JUICE OR WHATEVER AS LONG AS IT MAKES YOU HAPPY! MAYBE EVEN PLAY SOME LOFI OR A STUDY PLAYLIST IN THE BACKGROUND FOR A COMFORTING VIBE :3 IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING ON THE MATERIAL THERE ARE VIDEOS OUT THERE, INTERNET IS YOUR BEST FRIEND IN STUFF LIKE THIS, MY GO-TO IS ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TUTOR AND BRAINLY!

OH AND SLEEP. I KNOW PEOPLE SAY STUFF LIKE ‘haha i’m not sleeping this exam is important’ BUT NO. SLEEP IS ESSENTIAL AND LOSING THAT SAID AMOUNT OF SLEEP COULD AFFECT YOUR WORK ETHIC THE NEXT DAY, I DID THAT ONE TIME AND MAN WAS I OUT, SO GET SOME AMOUNT OF SLEEP IF YOU’RE ABLE TO IS WHAT I’M SAYING. IF IT’S A REALLY SERIOUS EXAM THAT YOU INSIST YOU HAVE TO STAY UP FOR THEN I USUALLY TAKE A NAP AS SOON AS I GET HOME IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT TIME. THEN AGAIN, WHAT TIME YOU SLEEP IS THE TIME YOU SLEEP AND I CAN’T CONTROL THAT, I WAS JUST A LITTLE WORRIED IS ALL

SO UH YEAH THAT’S ALL I WANTED TO SAY IN THAT COMMENT! (IF YOU WERE WILLING TO READ ALL OF THAT LMFOSJFIE I WOULD WRITE MORE BUT I WON’T BORE YOU OUT AND SOUND LIKE A NERD) I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AND AFTER THAT AND AFTER THAT AND WHENEVER THE DAYS PASS BECAUSE IT’LL GET REPETITIVE AND HAVE I WISH YOU A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF GOOD LUCK (YES YOU GET TO HAVE A SHIT TON OF LUCK NOW BECAUSE I BLESSED YOU NOW SO ENJOY THAT, I’M APPARENTLY THE EMBODIMENT OF GACHA LUCK AND NORMAL LUCK SO YEAH YOU’RE VERY WELCOME) LOVE YOU MAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF 🫶✨

#📬 lume answers #💛 lumes mutuals #🤍; melon! #finally answering asks here since like??? months???? but anyways onto the w h o l e s o m e #you don’t understand how much i needed to hear that #makes me cry irl tbh but in a good way #(it did make me shed a little tear but HFHDHF) #I LOVE YOU MELONNNNN #SO MUCHHHHH #MWAH MWAH MWAHHHH #AGAIN PLEASE DON’T BE AFRAID TO TALK TO ME ABOUT WHATEVER #EVEN IF I SEEM LIKE I DON’T CARE OR DRY AF I GENUINELY LOVE PEOPLE TALKING TO ME OR RAMBLING ABOUT ANYTHING #ALSO MELON IF YOU SEE THIS IT HAS BEEN MONTHS LAST TIME YOU ASKED BUT YOU CAN HAVE MY DISCORD IF YOU NEED IT #<- IF YOU WANT OF COURSE I’LL DM IT TO YOU BECAUSE I’M COMFORTABLE IN SHARING IT AFTER THESE MANY MONTHS #(WE LOVE REGAINING TRUST AGAIN) #AAAAA THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND #A FEW WORDS SIMILAR TO THIS CAN AND WILL MAKE A PERSON’S DAY (TRUST)

[playboynanners]

i wanna start off by telling u i am sorry!! i wanna tell u about all this crazy shit in my head, and want to open up and want to talk about my feelings but no matter what, i just cant make out the right words...? like it feels like cant properly put my thoughts and emotions into words i guess??

all i want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out because its killing me inside. i cant take it anymore. i feel weird. i dont want to do anything. i always feel tired. i dont have any energy. a part of me broken. something is def weighing on my heart. i just feel so fucking suffocated. i feel like i am so far behind in life that i will never catch up. everyone is doing so many things with their lives. and i am just here. i really dont think i can do this its getting dark again. and im afraid. im too tired to carry on. i want MYSELF back bro is that too much to ask for? i deffff know its getting bad because even sleep and music dont help and i feel sick all the time and i just want to disappear. i really feel like there is no happy ending for me . thats why getting through the days is hard rayen i honestly from the bottom of my heart know its all for nothing. u guys are waiting for me to get over it, to finally do something with my life, and i know u guys are getting impatient. but what u guys dont know is that im already gone. i dont like who i am. there is nothing good about me. i am sick of wasting my time. i am worn out. i so fucking tired. the anxiety consumes me at times i feel like i cant breathe i cant think straight intrusive thoughts of self distraction consume my mind i am sooo fucking sick of this version of myself!!!!! im fucking tired of the poor choices i keep making. i truly believe i have hit rock bottom. this is the humblest i have ever been because my ego has nothing to be proud of. i know i knowww it is important to be gentle with myself but its also crucial to be honest. im not taking care of myself. im doing drugs, im on social media all day. i either dont eat healthy, or i dont eat at all. i dont exercise. i watch things that arent positive and go to sleep and wake up late. i am sick to my stomach as i write this. i just want to go up from here because i cant live this way anymore. i dont wanna live this way anymore. but like if you never felt like the way i do right now... the drained , depression . WORTHLESS feeling ... then u cant say shit about me "getting better starts with yourself bs" LIKE UH ? YEAH I HATE MYSELF AND DONT GIVE A FUCKKKKK ABOUT NUN SO WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? like i honestly didnt even think i would be alive at my age i thought i wouldve been dead by 20 so u can only imagine how lost i feel lol. i dont know what to do with my life and i feel like im just wasting away most days. and i dont fucking know how to fix it. maybe this is my time for me and im supposed to be enjoying it for exactly what it is? like i dunno i just know i always fucking ruin EVERYTHINGGGG . i casually sabotage all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesnt feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring. i really want to kill whats inside of my head. i hate living like this day after day. i just want my pain to end bro . i see how everyone looks at me like i’m a burden, how they fake concern only to switch up at me the next second. i don’t want to be this way, im so lost and alone and i just don’t see the point anymore. this is the loneliest i have ever felt. i don't have a shoulder to cry on when im sad, i have got legit no one to go to. i have noooo tears left to cry dude. my heart hurts so much. my insides are burning. i dont know how to help myself. i legitimately try and i make it worse. i wanna scream all this hurt and pain out. can i just lose my memory just so i can take a break from feeling this way? im not sure how long i can handle this alone anymore all honesty .

AND i wouldnt say im "addicted" to drugs and alcohol (JUST YET lol) butttt what i hate about liking them is that once you know how that high feels and the break from reality you get from everything you will FOREVER know how good it felt and thats the problem. u can be days, months, years of being clean. but i know when you quit its gonna be hard years down the road. i would take it alllll back and not start doing any of it. it turns from "just one time trying it" to "i promise this is the last time" but all honestly i dont know how to stop or be normal in this world sober anymore.

and to sum it alllll up i just want / need someone who can hug me and tell me that im not as worthless as i think i am i feel so fucking empty sometimes and its so exhausting to feel nothing and everything at the same time.

#tw depressing thoughts #@hate myself #journal #made with tumblr #sad aesthetic #thoughts #depressing shit #love yourself #sociopath #kill me

[superbattrash]

Hi, I watched the first episode of sandy aka The Sandman and here are my many, many thoughts

Sandy ep 1

Oh okay much more magical intro that I was expecting. He’s got a really nice narrator voice, I approve

“Father likes to be called magus” ok so father is insane, gotcha

OH MY GOD IS THAT THE FATHER? Can’t remember the actor’s name but I feel like he’s good as far as old white men actors go. Wait he’s in game of thrones isn’t he? This will annoy me

Off Jutland? Wait I live in Jutland!!! If it’s yaknow. The Danish Jutland.

Jesus Christ okay so he’s insane and an asshole, good to know. “Randall was my greatest joy” THE KID IS RIGHT THERE

Oh no, are you serious? You can’t make death do anything. Have you not seen Puss in Boots 2? That never ends well

THAT GOTTA BE THE TEEF GUY HELLO TEEF MAN oh you’re not good :( “my lord”, damn that’s hot

[Dream groaning] and it just sounds like a dying bee

Even Father is surprised this is working. Oh no, this won’t do any good, you’ll fuck someone up, I just know it. Oh is, he slammed into the floor hard, didn’t he? Poor sandy, he’s not even conscious

Is he gonna sacrifice his son??? Oh no, he’s just using him to do the dangerous stuff just in case, okay, that seems fair 🙄

YOU CANT JUST TAKE THAT, YOU LUNATIC!!!!! Thief!!!!! Oh my god he’s naked….. DON’T TOUCH HIM?????? What the FUCK

I TOLD YOU SO, YOU RUINED THE SLEEP, YOU PSYCHO!!!! TEEF MAN, EAT HIM!!!!! Oh no of course not, why would it be that easy

Oh they’re all D’s, that’s pretty cool

This honestly looks like some kind of renaissance painting, all naked and in glass, poor sandy :(

You’re doing this because you want your dead son back from the dead? Grieving would be better for everybody, you idiot. Humans are the most selfish things ever, dear god

He won’t give you shit, old man, fuck off

Alex is not like other boys, Alex reads gasp gasp. And he attracts older pretty ladies, that’s nice. Too nice. She’s too good to be true, isn’t she? Hmmmm

Oh no, don’t leave the kid alone with him. Or wait maybe do?? I’m not sure who do root for yet except the naked man in the glass bubble because he has a nice voice. You’re presenting yourself??? Oh no, poor boy

Angry little sandy doing the >:c face

OH SHIT DADDY CAUGHT YOU!!!! Was he about to beat his own son with a cane? He’s paranoid and insane oh my god if YOU can’t shoot the bird, how’s Alex supposed to??

Ethel, aw. That’s a nice name

Do you sense your birb is here, sandy? BE CAREFUL, BIRDIE!!!! Oh daddy’s a Hunter huh? No wonder I don’t like him

Are you seriously gonna burn the house down? Impressive, actually. Oh birdie, you found him 🥺 look at that face, he’s almost smiling

The bird’s gonna die, isn’t it? OH MY G O D, I TOLD YOU SO THAT IS HORRIBLE HOW FUCKING COULD YOU?!?!?! 😭😭😭 THAT WAS HIS FRIEND!!! You better fucking bury it right, you little shit.

Oh god, not sleeping at all?? You can die from that, can’t you???

…are they gay? They could totally be gay. It sounded like flirting

Oh noooo, Ethel, why are you crying? :( a baby? Oh dear. Papa doesn’t like that, does he? Of course he doesn’t. Shithead. PLEASE RUN AWAY ETHEL oh or grab a taxi, that’s great too. AND you robbed him??? I’m kinda impressed by you, E

He CANT FUCKING RAISE THE DEAD YOU ABSOLUTELY MORON, he can’t just give you whatever your tiny mind wants

Oh THANK GOD, someone finally stood up to him. Oh no, did you kill your own dad? That’s gonna give you ALL the issues, you idiot

Look at him. He’s waiting for you to free him, you’re ALLOWED NOW, you’re the master of the- oh wow he really is naked, huh??? 😳

His father would beat him senseless, what does it matter what he would say? Jesus these people are all so moronic

Oh it’s the gay boy again!!!

WHAT THE SHIT HES ACTUALLY GAY???? Oh my god I feel so weird, this never happens

Is Ethel important or is baby Johnny? Or both? I feel like they’re both involved a lot, even without the stealing

Gay boy wanting him to let sandy out, please please please. Oh his name is Paul, hi Paul. I like Paul, Paul seems good

You didn’t, did you? Oh could not, right, of course. Oh man, how many years went by? THEY GOT MARRIED? Awwwww. Like, a tentative aww but still, I never get to see happy gay endings

Paul, don’t say anything. Paul, don’t do it. Paul. Good good good, good boy, man, good Paul

Lord, that is an intense stare, little sandy

Nicely placed hand there, kiddo, wouldn’t want us to see your actual everything, huh? You are. So very thin, my boy

Oh god no is he gonna kill Alex? At least don’t kill Paul, he helped!!! Oh it’s a dream, sorry, my bad

FUCK ME HE LOOKS SCARY

Of course he doesn’t understand, nobody told him, sandy, you’re punishing Paul too :/ although, okay, I get it, it makes sense

Oh ew, teef man, you really. Those are some. There are teef on you, man

Aww look at him, that’s actually a smile, isn’t it? Poor little sandy, finally home with his sand <333 Oh god he can’t get in, can he? Not without his things??? Please omg no

Oh thank god, at least the doors open for him. Everything looks so awful :( oh he’s so sad, his home is all broken

Aw there’s some sad backstory there, huh? Which of the Endless jumped ship before? Death, Desire, one of the other Ds?

Okay okay okay, that was good, lots to absorb. Still waiting for the plot plot I think, is he gonna go around chasing the dreams and nightmares? That sounds fun

I won’t grade it because it’s like 7/10 did capture me enough to watch another episode but not like I was running to go watch it because I needed to actually listen and follow along which is tough with depression brain

Narrator is 100/10 though, absolutely the main reason I’ll be watching this show, very nice

#mish watches sandman #the sandman lb #I have many thoughts and none of them are important #I’m just commenting on everything basically #which is what I do when I watch anything with other people

[maxielforlife]

They’ve gone back to a regular sleeping schedule. In bed before 8:30 pm, teeth brushed, story read, she gets to pick it, either in English or Dutch, Daniel reads it, always, because he makes up better voices for characters than Max. She corrects him on his awful pronunciation. Then Max sings the song, because Daniel can’t sing. She will only allow him to sing when Max isn’t there for bedtime. In a week it will be that, Max going back to night school, from Monday through Thursday. 

“Goodnight Princess,” Daniel says as he kisses her soft cheek. 

“Noooo,” she wines and holds on to him. 

“What do you mean no?” Max asks. 

“I don’t want to.”

She’s never been fussy about sleep, maybe only when she’s sick. Neither of them like this at all. 

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow,” She whines again. 

“Why?” Maw asks, concerned. 

“I wanna stay with you and Dada.” 

“But sweetheart, it’s gonna be great. You’re gonna make new friends, and learns lots of new things.” Daniel says, in this sweet voice he only uses for her, he strokes her hair, while Max kneels down to stroke her back. 

“Baby girl, it will be okay. I know it’s scary, but it will be okay.” 

They confort her, until she falls asleep, way past her bed time. It took an hour, of reassurance and gentle comfort for her to finally close her eyes. 

Dinner has gone cold, their heart feels a little heavier, not knowing where this came from. She’s been wanting to do big girl stuff for ages, copingVictoria’s  every move, borrowing her grandmother’s bag and walking around with it like she was a grown up too. She’s been saying she couldn’t wait to finally go to the big girl’s school. It always made Max a little emotional when she said this, and now that the day is almost here, she’s panicking about it. 

Daniel kisses Max temple and tells him it’s gonna be fine. He’s taken a day off work for this very special day. He’s never expected to be so worked up about school, let alone kindergarten, but he is. Max is an even bigger mess, he already knows he’ll cry when they’ll drop her off. 

They re-heat dinner and finally sit at the table Max had set hours earlier. The TV is playing in the background, quietly, it’s still on the cartoon channel, they don’t even pay attention to it. They’ve barely touched their food when Bella’s little head pokes out of the hallway, her eyes adjusting to the light, she holds her kangaroo close to her chest and stays there.

“Are you okay baby girl?”

“I can’t sleep.” 

Daniel goes to pick her up, she rest her head on his shoulder and holds her hand to his beard. She loves to play with it. He’s been forbidden to trim it too much, there was once a thirty minute tantrum because he shaved. He’s at the mercy of a 3 years old now. He doesn’t mind it. 

Max takes her when he’s done with his plate, and suddenly he get a flash back to a couple of years ago, when Daniel did the same. She’s half falling asleep on his lap, while he rocking her back and fourth. He puts her to bed, once again. She doesn’t wake up when he close the bedroom door. 

She cries when they’ve just settled into bed, Daniel between Max’s leg, telling him tomorrow would be fine. She cries for him, her Dada. He sighs and goes to check on her. It’s almost eleven, she’s never been up this late. 

“You need some sleep princess. I promise tomorrow will be okay.” He whispers into her ear. 

“I wanna sleep in your bed.” She cries. 

He shakes his head but gives in. Max doesn’t protest when Daniel lay her between them two. She’s has restless sleep, kicking them both, unintentionally. He feet get tucked under Max’s arm, kangaroo has slipped under a pillow and her head rest on Daniel’s chest. She’s taking up so much room Max is nearly falling off the bed. 

Daniel chuckles when he sees this, this is as much rest as they will get. Max would flip him off if he wasn’t so scared she will wake up and never go back to sleep. 

She wears the special outfit they’ve picked for her. Daniel does her hair, and all the stress is gone. She eat breakfast without a fuss, and doesn’t mind the million pictures they take of her. Max has put tag with her name on every of her belonging. She’s got a frozen backpack. 

She holds their hand on their way to school. She isn’t scared anymore, and almost goes in without goodbyes. Daniel laughs about it, but Max insists on give her a kiss. 

“You have a good day, and once school is over, Dada and I will come and pick you up, and we’ll go have icea cream at the park, okay?” Max chokes on his words. 

“Strawberry one?” She asks in return, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. 

“All the flavor you want baby girl.” He kisses her. “I love you.”

She squeezes his neck, tight. She doesn’t feel comfortable saying it in front of strangers, but he knows she means it. 

She goes to Daniel next, he hugs her quickly, and says he loves her but doesn’t hold her back when she runs inside. 

Max cries as she walks confidently towards her teacher. His baby is all grown up, and he must admit, he isn’t sure he doesn’t like it. He can feel Daniel chuckle when he say this. Max sniff on the way back home. Daniel still holds his hand, stroke the back of it gently. He avoids Max’s eyes at all cost. 

As soon as the door is closed, Daniel shed tears. 

“How is she old enough to go to school??” He asks Max. “I remember when she fit into my arms.” Max bits back his smile and hugs him. “My baby is gone to school.”

“I know.”

“Should we call the school to know how she’s doing?” 

“They have our contact in case something goes wrong, but I’m sure she’s fine babe.”

Daniel nods. 

“Come on.” Max says, leading him in the bedroom. 

They catch up on sleep, and chores before they get to pick her up, hours later. 

She runs into their arms, a piece of paper dangling from her hand. She shows her drawing, very proudly. She attempted to write her name. She can’t stop talking about day, the friends she made. Her icecream almost melt because she talks too much.

Max and Daniel exchange a knowing smile, while she goes on about the swin set in the playground.

[winderlylandchime]

2/3 ‘THEYRE TEACHING HER HOW TO GIVE BLOW JOBS? *starts doing the exercises with his mouth that Em is doing* I AM BEGGING FOR MIKE TO WALK IN NOW!’ ‘Oh Benny is stressed. Wait. Who’s paul?’ ‘BRIAN AND JUSTIN WORKING TOGETHER!! I want more of that! Go make him do another poster or something, that way you can get back together! Justin why are you standing so far away? Sit on his la-EXACTLY STAND CLOSER! ARE THEY GONNA KISS? LOOK AT THEM SMILING! Fucking hell Mike, they were gonna probably kiss and here you go cockblocking again. *pauses on Brian after Justin leaves* oh Brian! My sweet sweet pretty boy. You are so fucking in love and for some reason YOU DONT WANNA SAY IT?! Why is that huh? THAT *flaps his hand at Brian* is a look only a person who is heartbroken and in love can achieve!’ He is once again using Shazam and making his playlist. *flaps his hand at Mikey and Brian getting high* ‘what do I have to do to get something like that with Brian and Justin? Why can’t they lay around and eat and just hang? (mikey mentions paul) ohhh that’s who paul is..was..(i tell him Ben actually did mention paul and who he was)…well in my defense, i don’t usually pay attention when Ben talks’ And Debbie and Carl scene is up: ‘why is he not hugging her? Dude, you just had sex! You gotta cuddle! Provide some safety or something. *his jaw actually dropped* Oh so THAT is how they will piss me off. She did practice! whatever? Whatever?! OH YOU LITTLE SHIT! Who the fuck says that? Even IF SHE GAVE FREE BLOWJOBS TO GO AT THE DINER, YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT TO A PERSON! That’s fucked up bro. That is very very fucked up! Burn his house down debbie! YEAH! GET OUT! AND STAY THE HELL OUT!’ And then he immediately smiled because ‘BRI BRI AND JUSTIN! Plus a bonus? I know damn well it’s because he knows Justin needs money. Who’s Ian? WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?! Oh, Justin for sure is inspired by someone he loves which is why there is a painting of THEM HAVING SEX HANGING ON YOUR WALL!! He’s skipping class? Oh jealousy is a bitch and he is the president of that club. Brian don’t worry, i will personally make sure that he gets run over by a stampede of zebras. Or something’ ‘now why did Lindsay giggle like a school girl with a crush? Usually she’s all “be mature!! Dirty sex talk is weird’ the Ben steroid scene is up ‘so his whole thing is Buddha, working out and cooking.. does he ever do anything fun because this is like asmr for me, im about to fall asleep. Why is he buying vitamins from some random dude? Someone tell him about fruit and veggies’ ‘ohhh i like that coat on Emmett! A nice substitute for the fuck em all coat! OH FUCK YOU CARL. Ohhh that lady also has the coa-oh nevermind i see what they did here’ ‘is that what his friends think is a party? Justin? My boy. You know a party. This ain’t it. They are all so boring, Ben would fit right in. That *waves at Justin* is the look of a person who would rather french kiss a homeless guy than stay at this “party” for another second. YES HE IS AN ARTIST! HA! BRIAN WOULDVE APPRECIATED THAT COMMENT! And he would for sure add to it! But noooo Ethan here is acting like he’s never heard of the word cock.’ ‘OHHHHHH HE MADE AN ACTUAL CARNIVAL! Oh those two are gonna have a stroke seeing this. THAT MAN HAS GOLF BALLS COMING OUT OF HIS ASS *looks at me in shock* is that a real thing? Because if so? XFACTOR! *ethan is back on screen* OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! What did i do to deserve this torture? Oh his friends for sure have a groupchat without him in it. Justin nobody blames you for being tired, this would put an insomniac to sleep! Yes, leave him! Finally a smart decision’ ‘Now why is Carl back on my tv? No you cannot come i- DEBBIE. I SAID NO! HE ASKED LESBIANS FOR A TUTORIAL? Okay maybe there’s some hope for him..BUT DUDE CUDDLE AFTERWARDS!’ ‘Oh fuck you Mel! Fuck you all the way too hell. Not the kind of person you want as the father of YOUR child? And what’s Gus? Chopped liver? FUCK YOU. I am very upset because i like cool chicks in suits but i fear that she is not my cup of tea’

They teach her to give blow jobs... yep. And yes, Carl should cuddle afterwards. And not shame her!

I am so excited for your brother's reaction to Ben's steroid use!

Fandom collection to pay to have Ethan run over by a stampede of zebras. FOR BROTHER ANON!

That coat scene is so amazing. I love that your brother complimented the coat (RIP fuck them all coat) and then they pan to the sex worker wearing it.

Ben would fit right in at Ethan's party. OMG. If only Michael didn't (rightfully) hate Ethan... I would die for a fic where Ben and Ethan meet and hang out. It would cure my insomnia.

His friends for sure have a group chat without him in it. WOW. That is such a specific but clear insult. I'm stealing it.

Not the kind of person you want as the father of YOUR child? And what’s Gus? Chopped liver? FUCK YOU. I am very upset because i like cool chicks in suits but i fear that she is not my cup of tea

I'm just ending on that note because it is everything.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[castle-dominion]

5x20 the fast & the furriest ngl I thought this would be about furries. I feel like castle would secretly be a furry. Or maybe not but he would end the episode by buying a fursuit

Fast car. Drops a body!? WHAT IS GOING ON

rc: They were right here where this hole in the fridge is. Mmmm Mulligatawny soup MR: Well, maybe you’ve been sleep eating … again. RC: Again? I’ve never sleep ated - sleep ate - eaten. (MARTHA gives him a look) Have I?

Alexis is good enough of an actor, but I remember this episode & last...

WHAT IF IT IS KATE oh nvm SUPER RAT?

Where is ryan?

Perlmutter my beloved They've seen dead bodies before they've even seen someone cut in half... How long was she in trauma bay?

Onondaga, of course she was in new york then. Haudenesaune, right?

Yay finally a native american character who is native to NORTH america instead of latin america. Except ofc depending on the FNMI person you talk to, bigfoot was just a myth they made up to scare the white people. Still tho, as an fnmi person I'm happy to see this on television.

Native & no siblings?!?!?!? No cuzzins? (also ryan not good outfit today) Old folks confess to crimes all the time bro Curious george fan? Me too bro. KR, while they are walking away: George would never do that!

Castle don't tap on the glass u idiot *takes off the baby's head* MOONSHINE growls at CASTLE again and makes a ‘slitting your throat’ gesture. CASTLE gulps.

ruggedly handsome XD

the hospital thing really WAS sus. Why drop off your murder vic? Why not STAY if you're trying to save them?

take out a side mirror? srs? KB: A convicted killer with an attack dog? All right. Pick him up. eight years is a long time

He's right tbh

He was telling the truth! no no noooo no no castle nope no way shup & besides they are not in the right place come on bro no shush

SP: Professionally I can’t speculate what those are, Mr. Castle, but personally I can say that anyone who believes in Bigfoot is an ass.

Bigfoot lives in chicago bro

she's right: These are the footprints I’m interested in. They’re near where the body was. CSU said that they were made within the last 24 hours.

Ryan XD I feel like castle is half just being funny not actually believing but castle believes enough & pretends to believe the rest of the way that he gets ryan to make a fool of imself too often

clipping "rain on your parade" lol

KB: No, not a coincidence. Just a hoax. KR: If it’s such a hoax then tell me why I found this. (he pulls out a paper) I dug through her phone records. Turns out, the last phone call she ever made was to Darrell Meeks. RC: The Darrell Meeks? KB+JE: Who’s Darrell Meeks? RC+KR, sarcastically: “Who’s Darrell Meeks?” KR: Just a world-reknowned cryptozoologist. RC: That’s a scientist who searches for as yet undiscovered creatures. KB: (lightly) Such as unicorns and centaurs? JE: Banshees and leprechauns? ((both fae)) RC just gives KB a look. He holds KR back from smacking JE.

SP: Ugh. The B team. JE: Talk about the B team. KR: Yeah. SP: I’d hoped to see Castle’s look of dismay when I told him cause of death was nothing more exotic than blunt force trauma to the cranium. (off their blank look) It seems she was clobbered over the head with a club or a pipe. I love perlmutter. "HAMMERED into her skull!" it's your job to find out why she swallowed it, it was his job to find it in the first place.

Gigantopithacus

*takes away the yeti finger*

Every partnership needs to have a skeptic & a believer. Meeks & his wife, caskett, rysposito, shane madej & ryan bergara, myself & my brother when we inevitably go ghost hunting

KR: Kind of Crocodile Dundee meets Indiana Jones meets Ted Nugent. hook hand? Cool

What is that growling? Remember the tiger episode? These guys need headlamps KR: Dude, I’ve got a bad feeling about this thing, man. I – I don’t think that we should – Why a bow & arrow? At least let it be a compound bow. Or that

Love his accent lol

Sasquatch bigfoot & yeti are what like homo erectus & homo sapiens?

She was faking evidence, see castle!?

Also are there no female bigfoot fellows?

The traditional bigfoot photo Love esposito's hair btw. It's a little bit too long but it is better than the s3 buzz cut

RC: There was no camera at the crime scene. KB: Maybe our killer took it. RC: Which would explain why there’re so few photos of Bigfoot. KB: I meant our human killer. RC: Right. JE: shakes his head.

RC: And a year later her pendant is found in her murdered friend’s stomach?

Nice, they get to go to bed for the day

KB: Is there anything that you don’t believe in? RC: Sure there is. There’s … um … He thinks for a minute. Finally she smiles in victory. there is the ocean. The ocean is horrifying.

She is so pretty in her PJs

ALEXIS!? WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON Hey avatar reference, a new one just came out

Hold on she's a cardinal? Of fricking course she is. Every native worth their tobacco has a cardinal in their family. Including me lol. Ryan looks pretty af but not super pretty in terms of colour Too many people drop out of school from sexual harrassment Ooh music Esposito bisexual outfit

She does a whip? she is not a filmer

See? Sometimes people don't recognize ppl from sketches or w/e but COULD if a feature was changed

tory my beloved she has a name woah that is some crazy smart stuff KB: Well, the good news is we have our crime scene. The bad news is it’s in 2 square miles of remote wilderness with no access by road. (she turns to CASTLE) You up for a hike?

*mimics howling*

I love how castle is wearing camo AND orange RC: It’s not Wookie. I’m not doing Wookie. I can’t do Wookie. Alexis does a really cute Wookie.

RC:

Because at any moment life can surprise you. *They stop for a minute but then the ground gives way.*

He mentions his knee! Thank you! Just like that time I fell down the mountain!

Castle should have markiplier's unus annus branded tactical shovel

RC: Shouldn't you be wearing a short skirt for this? That’s the rule. Lol a granola bar

Ryan XD XD I could clip that if I wanted to wait kurt wilson is out here not outdoors?

Why is it just the two of them going on a hike?

CASTLE is trying to dig hand and foot holds into the side of a pit with a spork. RC: Ah, spork. They all laughed at you. He tries to use one of his foothold to climb, but his foot just slips out. He looks at the spork in disgust and throws it down onto the ground.

Oh no banging with a stick Oh no bigfoot

At least it doesn't land on castle

SHOOT IT SHOOT IT don't shoot.

Didn't you say you took a pic? you said you did lay eyes on this beast.

It was castle THE CLUB THAT'S THE CRIME SCENE

My man has been living in the woods for all this time...

Castle believes him & it is important to have someone on your team

That's big ngl

Beckett's coat is v nice

They got together after this happened?

This is why you turn off your phone

RC: Well I’m not so sure there isn’t. I’m thinking maybe he’s out there somewhere. And if he is, I’m hoping to see him one day. Preferably from a safe distance.

hsdfjksjhksdfjskdhfjshf bigfoot is real lmao

What speech? Oh that speech AC: I think he could make a real difference in the world. And okay, maybe it was stupid to give him all of my allowance, but I’m not the first person to do something stupid for something they believe in.

#castle 5x20 #castle 5x20 spoilers #castle 5x20 quote #the bigfoot episode

[ishipgenfics]

Across the Street Liveblog

I mean, avoiding alcoholism is generally good.

... yeah. He's writing. I do that. That's not that weird Statement Lady.

YEAH. He's writing his fantasy novel. Don't be so judgy.

Y-you're just going to stare at him, huh? I feel bad this Graham guy, he's just trying to stare out the window in peace and this creepy lady keeps staring at him and asking him for notes that he doesn't have.

Is he drawing on it? I'd do that sometimes when I was bored as a kid, just fog up my windows and draw patterns.

God, I love Jon's voice. Maybe not quite as much as Cecil's, but it's still very nice.

That one's fair, honestly.

Huh? Okay, this is starting to get creepy. I like this.

YOU THINK?

That's true. Head wounds bleed a LOT.

... what? That's kind of a bad idea. I mean, he seems nice, I don't think he's gonna hurt you, I just feel like going to his house is maaaaybe a bad idea with what's been going on and the fact that you are on a horror podcast.

MOOD. I like this Graham guy and his many notebooks.

MOOD.

You're rather rude, Statement Lady. Graham is trying to tell you about his passions, the least you could do is fake some interest.

DON'T GO TO SLEEP WITH A CONCUSSION. THAT IS LIKE RULE NUMBER 1. GOD!

... why are you just watching this guy read. Creepy, Statement Lady. Creepy.

Because it is.

Stop saying, "In my defense." You're a stalker. Get over it.

Okay yeah that is weird. I was on Graham's side for most of this, but that's weird.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE JUMPY OKAY. God, the eating notebooks thing is weird, but I really don't like Statement Lady.

You know this guy way too well for having only talked to him once. Y'know why? Because you're STALKING HIM.

God, this Graham guy is such a mood. He probably just doesn't know how to cook, Statement Lady.

Well that's something at least. I guess.

You're really obsessed with the not knowing where you live thing, huh.

Ooooh. Are you gonna tell us what it is? Of course you are, this is the important bit. Let's go on!

Graham's window is weird, huh? First window boxes, now pipes? What's gonna appear there next, a bird made out of all the notebooks he's ever eaten?

This is a kind of unclear description Statement Lady. You've been watching his flat for months, you should be better than this.

OH THE WINDOW CLOSED. OKAY THEN.

Who… who is is it then? Why is he in Graham’s house?

Oh no one else can tell. Jesus that’s a mindfuck.

MOVE. RUN AWAY.

Noooo the notebooks!

Yes. Good. Move.

Again? Tim whoever you are, I love you.

Interesting…

#the magnus archives #tma #tma liveblog #liveblog