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#and ive been neglecting all of them for YEARS
sasch1sch · 7 months
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i'll never understand people with adhd who are like "well it comes with its struggles of course but at least it helps me hyperfocus on my passion, its like a superpower", like good for you for being the chosen one but my adhd makes me play tetris for 5 hours straight without any bathroom breaks while a rotation of the same 3 shows ive seen a bajillion times is running in the background
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pearlpool · 21 days
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MAN! AHH!
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tigersorange · 4 months
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whats very frustrating about my parents approach to both me and my sister being transgender is that theyre like we never created an unsafe space for u guys or asked you to leave when they absolutely did (for me particularly bc i came out way earlier but seeing me go through that understandably was incredibly traumatizing to my sister) when they basically did everything but outright say i should leave and have repeatedly voiced that i should never move back in with them and then act like they didnt do anything wrong and have no fault in anything in regards to their transphobia and their failure to be loving and supportive as parents to a point where we both felt unsafe and left so we could pursue transition.
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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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It's kind of jarring to be reminded that everyone around me has always had more than me (aside from a select few). Like I just forget until it comes down to something mundane like buying shoes and I don't know my shoe size because for most of my life I've had one pair of shoes that I wear until they break. And it was usually something someone either got me as a gift (horrified that my shoes were wearing out. As if thats not what shoes do when you wear them) or they were passed down and I grew into them.
Like that's just normal for me. It doesn't bother me either, this isn't a pity party. It's just surreal that it bothers other people sometimes
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pepprs · 1 year
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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#delete later#im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty#and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related#replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has#opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg#i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy#purrs#also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old#characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped#landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only#ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing#all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so#sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j#just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was#important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i#feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those#friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters#when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me#in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol#* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th#the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain#anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but#i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol#also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned#that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all#anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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Did i already talk bout the funny similarities in arakawa and sawashiros designs cause im gonna throw up
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shrimp1y · 11 months
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Every moment that ggf doesnt blow up is a blessing I think. Like I'm like damn I wish for some virality! And less than a second later im like no that would be a terrible idea. This might sound like that fox who want the grapes but bc its outta reach he says its green but do remember my accounts are very hackable and I gptta do smth about that before the internet gets its grippers on me
#my passwords are dumb#i still use my first ever email#and like. the more I think about it the less i care about popularity. im not even on socmed#the only reason why i want virality is bc i want money. i wanna be rich. i want to move out and spend money on so fucking much therapy#i like going to the dentist#ill get all my weird symptoms checked out at the doctors#i want money. i want money!!!!!! i wanna buy houses for my besties#got distracted. anyway it sounds great but virality doesnt always equal to money thats the problem hence im like. ehhh.. nah#like. ill be happy to be viral in 5 years when my shits more together but rn im a weak frail shrimp im like a small victorian boy#ive been eating orzo in veggie broth#the internet will instantly kill me#im still gonna get my symptoms checked out at the doctors mind you. i am rich co#my parents are. and theyre in their guilty 50s stage where they look at me sadly and say shit like 'i dont remember that' when i tell them#they neglected me#so ill still get to go to my doctors. its just a matter of gettin there. but i reaaaaaally hate going out#growing up is learnin tjat no money or fame can fix u#the autism is winning. the asthma is winning. the allergies are winning. the hypermobility is winning. apparently its not just funny that#i cant hold up frying pans and choppin stuff hurts my wrist. its a runnin joke that im super weak but now im like. is this normal#my feet hurt all the time. is that normal. i get a desperate need to lie down after i do anything. 'i love being horizontal'#thats my irl catchphrase. and like. my nose are always clogged. i only recently started visiting the dentist bc they booked me in for#regular visits after comin to them to look at my wisdom tooth. and they say they can tell im a mouthbreather from my teeth#and im like girl what. i didnt know theres consequences to breathing through my mouth. and ive been thinking about the fact that im#congested 95% of the time and im like. maybeeeeee... thats not normal....... its been liek this for most of my life jsyk. is that why my#ears pop and ring all the time. apparently sinus problems can lead to ear problems. like i can sorta tell bc my nose gets completely blocked#and i gotta 'stretch' my jaw to relief the pressure on my ears every once in a while. but i thought that was just normal#i joke that im allergic to joy bc my asthma flares up when i laugh. which is kinda funny#i kinda have warmed up to like. the idea. of me bein disabled. bc im autistic and im regressing as i relearn how to actually do stuff in#a sustainable way. but man. i didnt consider my many bodily failures to be a part of it. but like with becoming more intuned with my body#and my fatigue..... its like yeah. not being able to breath is kinda tiring. i dont sleep very well either. maybe thats why i sleep so much#this is also why i shouldnt ever be known i talk too much
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transbee · 1 year
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hi honeys i am drunk posting again. hope u are all doing well I have been diagnosed with In A Weird Zone Lately disorder and I think it's Terminal
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depresseddepot · 2 years
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had a dream abt making a friend in a class in high school and being really excited that i did but it being ruined by some teacher singling me out for literally no reason and then that person didn't want to talk to me anymore
#that is my whole high school experience compressed in one dream. made me feel just as bad too#thinking abt that time i was in a class of people i didn't know at all and were older/cooler than me#and someone next to me asked me (genuinely) if i could explain what the teacher meant the last two slides#and how the teacher called me (in the very last row of a class of 40) out by name the SECOND i started whispering to explain it to her#and then another time i had to leave my english class to take a math test (i was done w all the eng work) and the teacher was like#'why are you doing this so often?' 'this is only the second ti-' 'yeah and now its three. sure whatever. go.'#while that same teacher then turned around and let other kids cry in her class bc or worked hard to help them pass#like. lol. i wore all black and never spoke and stared at the ground when i talked and looks terrified whenever i had to do a presentation.#did that not generate any sympathy. maybe I was worse at expressions than i thought and looked angry all the time#but why did nobody ask abt MY home life#i got straight A's and was quiet and well behaved so nobody gave a shit abt me right. its only the ones that act out that get attention#god ive been out of high school for 3 years now and its still the worst time of my goddamn life#they were objectively good teachers bc i liked their classes and they were really nice to us#but every time they interacted with me one on one they were so mean and dismissive#am i that ugly? lol. was i not expressive enough#was it the lisp? did they hate hearing me talk? did i smell too much like my parent's cigarette smoke?#im never going to know and its always going to fuck me up that people that were SO nice to everyone else were so mean to me for no reason#those examples are just a couple of them but it happened a lot#i went into high school w emotional neglect and left with all of those symptoms absolutely solidified into my pysche#bc it showed again and again that adults were nice in public and mean in private and couldn't be relied on for support or help#vent#sorry
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somnambulic-thing · 5 months
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This fic is part IV of my come as you are universe but can be read as a standalone.
masterlist
messy Eddie Munson x gn!Reader with vagina&boobs, we're early/mid 20s, E 18+
Words: 6.4k
||contains: established relationship/former best friends, outdoor sex, piv, oral, teasing/edging, a little crying, light biting&scratching we're playing with: cum, slick, spit (no spitting tho) and blueberries in various consistencies; fluff, domestic, silly, food mention/eating: it's a picnic situation || you can always dm me and ask for more details
A/N: Oh my god, I finally did it. I've been working on this story since mid-June and it was actually where my ruminations about this universe started. I have no idea why this took me so damn long. I imagined the vision I had for this scenario would fit into something around 3k-ish. Look how that turned out. It's just a lot of sex and a lot of silly banter.
I have to thank @bettyfrommars and R for the help with that story. I probably would have deleted it without you a long time ago
soundtrack
Comments and reblogs are so appreciated you have no idea.
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“You have cum in your hair, sweetheart.”
Eddie’s voice, deep and soft and a little raspy, is full of pride; his eyes full of bliss and adoration.
You smile down at him, stretched out on his back with his arms folded beneath his head, the only remnant of his live-wire-brain a slow bop of his feet which are crossed by the ankles.
He’s just as naked and sweaty as yourself and equally covered in the traces of your lust.
You reach out to tug on a sticky strand of wavy brown hair, twirling the end slightly between your fingertips.
“So have you, Munson.”
Eddie hums and nods like that’s good news and closes his eyes.
The wrath of the August sun can’t reach you in your little hiding spot, it only drips through the canopy of the poplar above your heads, heavy and thick like honey, leaving dancing specks of gold scattered all over his pale skin. You try to trace the ever-changing outlines with your fingertips the way you like to trace the ink, your feathery touch leaving goosebumps behind.
“We should venture to the lake,” he says with a lazy smile. “Go for a swim. Clean up this debauchery.”
You lower down to kiss the corner of his mouth as a starting point for the only journey you’re interested in right now; down the sharp edge of his jaw to his throat. Here you follow the string of purple bruises left by your greedy mouth and it leads you right to the dip of his collarbone. The hum swelling low in his throat turns into a sigh when you trace the shape of it with your tongue.
“Okay, yeah, maybe not yet,” he says and cups the back of your head, softly scratching your scalp. “Guess we basically just got here… we have time…”
It’s hard to tell the time on days like this. If not for the movement of the sun you wouldn’t be sure that it still existed.
There is a special place for the two of you where the laws of nature seem to bend around your togetherness. A space where it’s safe to strip off masks, armor and cloth, to let the other tend to those tender spots that ache from neglect or need and so often both.
It had always been there, created in the aftershock of your collision when you had become friends over night all those years ago. Eddie had been so easy to be around, so easy to trust with your dreams, quirks and secrets. In return, he’d given you pieces of himself too to keep safe, knowing you would treat them with more kindness than he often could. The presence of that space was always perceptible around you like a softly hummed melody wherever you went. One of you just had to pry it open with an inquisitive look or urgent touch and drag the other in behind them.
Today it had been Eddie.
You had followed the sound of tiny rocks against your windowpane and found him outside with a stuffed backpack over one shoulder and a dragon-slaying guitar clutched in one hand, wildflowers in the other.
“What’s the occasion?” you had asked, sensing something nervous in his smile when you flung yourself into his arms.
“It’s a Saturday and I love you.” He had scrunched up his nose in that silly way he always did when he tried to find the right words for important things. “And I want to fuck you where I picked those flowers.”
It had been a short drive and a short hike later when you saw the first spots of red and blue, sprinkles of white and yellow dance in the breeze and recognized them as the same flowers that now waited on your windowsill for your return.
“Almost there,” he’d said and you had felt the seconds slow and stutter as Eddie’s fingers intertwined with your own, tugging you towards the high grass and right through it, heading for the small clearing by the trunk of the tree and into its shadow.
“Nobody will see us here,” he’d said, arms tight around your waist. “Promise.”
You really hadn’t cared either way as Eddie nudged at your jaw with the bridge of his nose to gain access to your pulse.
There had been a moment - albeit brief - where you’d wondered if one could hear you from the path outside the field where time still existed when Eddie plunged his fingers into you, deep and urgent, his praises and your moans mingling, drowning out the birds and bugs lurking around as your back arched off the giant red plaid blanket he must have bought for this very occasion.
And then, finally, the rest of the world was erased from your mind when he chanted your name again and again, knuckles white from clutching the blanket in trembling fists as you swirled your tongue around the hot tip of his cock in slow dragging teasing circles for an eternity until he couldn’t take it any longer.
You smile against his skin, revelling in the soft noises he makes for you when you lap up salty sweat from his chest, when you flick the tip of your tongue against his nipple and in the way he squirms and begs for you to kiss him.
“Please, please, please…” he whimpers as you take your time kissing up his sternum, ignoring the tug in your hair, making sure to worship every patch of damp skin on your way to his lips. Eddie groans, so impatient, so greedy and you want to swallow him whole so you do the next best thing; you bare your teeth against his neck and bite him.
“Holy fucking…” he breathes in sharply but tilts his head up further. “You beast.”
You lick the tender flesh above his collarbone before you blow cool air on it to soothe the bite.
“Too much?” you ask with worry, pushing up to find his dark eyes waiting. You see the flicker of his plan in them the second before he flips you over and pins you down.
“Never.” His nose presses into your cheek before he nips at your jaw. A pointy knee nudges at your thigh and you spread them willingly to let him back between them. “That’s why I’m done begging for more now…”
“Oh no, I’m in trouble…” you try to tease but your voice strings out thin as he moves down your neck and chest; kissing sucking biting. He keeps his eyes fixed on yours and the hunger in them pulls your insides into a tight knot you can’t wait for him to untangle again.
“Let’s earn that clean up at the lake,” he says, his tongue leaving wet glistening trails of spit on your skin all the way down to your hips. There he gifts you a set of pretty teeth marks to remember him by before he settles on his stomach between your thighs, wrapping his arms firmly around them. “Let’s make a mess.”
You prop up on your elbows for a better view. “How will this differ from the average Munson pussy-eating endeavour?”
“Oh, sweetheart… you challenging me?”
“I guess I am.”
 He shakes his head like you’re a pitiful thing, grinning sharply; it’s obscene with the way his mouth hovers over your pelvis close enough for you to feel his breath in the sticky hair above your slit. Your hips twitch upwards in response, impatience flaring up between them and his grip on you tightens.
“Nuh-uh,” he tuts and shakes his head.
There were days when he couldn’t wait to get his mouth on you, cursing each garment that stood between him and the taste of you. But Edward Munson could be unyielding once his mind was set on a particular thing. Painfully so.
“I have a vision here and I need you to hold still.”
“I am,” you grumble, knowing you are not. “As good as I can with you breathing on my pussy.”
“The sooner you comply, the sooner we both get our treat. C’mon. Be good.”
You finally obey and relax, voicing a low, soft “please, Eddie” aimed to break his determination. His lips part in a cunning smile before he sticks out his tongue as far as he can, long and wet and pointed. Hovering.
“I’m not moving,” you whine.
Eddie’s brows lift - demanding patience - and he looks like a demon that way; wide eyes, gaping mouth, teeth bared and spit slowly running down his tongue.
“Oh.”
It’s agony, watching a bead of spit collect at the tip, hypnotizing how it grows and grows and the seconds stretch, just as much as the viscous liquid, before it finally drips down onto your clit and runs down to one side. There’s no controlling it; your hips try to buckle and the pretty pink tongue disappears behind a smile that’s all teeth and tender cruelty and still connected to you by a string of spit.
“Please…”
Eddie chuckles deeply, sticks out his demon tongue again and you force your body into stillness instantly. This is what possession feels like, you think.
“Please, Eddie, please, please, plea—“
The first gentle lick feels like little more than a breeze over your clit, barely nudging it, but it makes your jaw drop and your arms shake. A long stretched whine spills from your mouth as he repeats it again and again and again, adding slightly more and more pressure each time. His eyes are fixed on yours, intense, almost unblinking, and so very dark. It’s adding heat to the electric shocks his teasing sends up your spine. You channel the urge to move, to grind your cunt against his mouth into a pitiful hitching moan.
“Christ, your face…” Eddie groans, stopping his sweet sweet torture, fingers kneading your thighs short of painful. “Could come just looking at you like that.”
“I know,” you breathe out. “Love when that happens.”
He loosens his grip on your tighs, and brings one hand around between them. “I aim to please,” he says with a wink and points a finger gun at you, blowing imaginary smoke away before he shoves the barrel of it inside you.
And then he’s devouring you.
You fall back, your arms finally giving in as the sensation pulls you under, overwhelms you after all the soft teasing. He’s moaning against your cunt and it doesn’t take long for him to undo you again, knowing all the motions by heart that take you out of this world.
Your fist stirs up fine dust as it thumps the ground when he stops seconds before you can fall over the edge.
“No, nonono, why?—“
But Eddie is not listening. “Fucking dripping for me,” he marvels at his hand covered in your slick. He spreads his fingers and watches how your arousal forms shiny strings between his knuckles.
“You’re evil—“
“But my evil methods always get you off so much harder,” he says casually sliding two fingers back inside you while wiping the other hand on your stomach and his glistening mouth on your thigh.
“Fuck—“
A soft smile is curling his lip while he curls his fingers inside you. Your hips twitch up and Eddie uses the moment to press a soft kiss to your throbbing clit.
“Messy, messy pussy,” he sighs dreamily.
You can’t but laugh.
“You’re suuuch a weirdo,” you say softly and run a hand through his hair. You can see the praise lighting little fires in his eyes.
“Well, thank you,” he chuckles darkly. “It’s really inspiring that it gets you wet like that.”
You lose count of how many times he gets you close to the edge again just to pull back and cover you in sticky kisses to your thighs and hips and belly, to run his soaked fingers over your breasts and up your neck over and over.
Every inch of your skin feels sticky, every fibre of your body thrums like vicious reverb when he crawls up to you, eyes wild, lips and chin drenched and glistening with your wetness and kisses you.
“You good?” he sighs, sucks your lower lip between his teeth and pulls until it stings just so before he lets you answer.
“M’ on fire is what I am…”
“Good.”
“You’ve won. I’m such a mess, please, please fuck me.”
The desperate scratch of your nails on his back, makes his head drop to your shoulder and turns his low deep laugh into a moan. It’s contagious, spreads to you as he rolls his hips against you, his hard length sliding through your swollen lips, dragging over your clit.
“You smell like home,” he whispers against your skin as he pushes in, slowly, softly until he’s fully nestled inside of you. Your breath is unsteady, hitches as the pleasure of being so full of him pushes everything else out of your mind.
“Do you feel that?” he brings his forehead to yours, pulling out almost all the way, giving you that full sweet stretch again as he sinks back in. “How perfectly I fit inside you?”
“Feels like home,” you say and feel him smile as he kisses you. It’s slow and dragging at first and he stays close, burying you under his weight and his face in your neck as he buries his cock inside you again and again and over and over with growing speed and urgency.
“C’mon, fall apart for me,” he grits through his teeth, “I got you, always got you.” He peels himself away from you and sits back up on his shins. With his hair forming a wild dark halo around his head and your purple marks scattered over his skin the sight alone of his thrumming, sweat-glistening body straining to bring you to the peak of pleasure is pure ecstasy. His thumb finds your clit, slow dragging circles contrast hard fast thrusts and if you’ve been on fire before, you’re blazing now, hot enough to forge steel.
“Don’t stop…”
“Won’t…”
“So close…”
“I know. Me too…”
“So good…”
“So fucking good… come on… come for me…”
Your heels dig into the ground lifting your twitching hips off the blanket as the searing heat spreads through your pelvis like wildfire. Eddie moves up with you, melts into you, is one with you, fingers digging hard into your flesh to hold you where he wants you to fuck you through it. The world is not a place but a raging pulse and all you can do is surrender your body to him. It’s easy.
He’s your heart anyway.
 He carefully lowers your hips back to the ground, smoothing his palms up and down your sticky thighs while you come down from your high.
“Look at me!”
Your lids are heavy as you blink to clear your view from a few stray tears.
Eddie tilts his head, searching your face with curious eyes, tongue peeking from the corner of his mouth as he backs away slowly, leaving you empty. There’s not much time to mourn the feeling as he swiftly straightens your legs and straddles your thighs.
“What—“
“Shhh, just watch,” he rasps out, licking his lips as he wraps his fingers around his slick, throbbing cock. His voice breaks, strings out thinly—
“Fuck, fuck, fuuuck—“
— as his fist works his flushed tip with precision and a rapid pace. The hair around the base is slick with your ecstasy and as your gaze wanders up his body in search of his face you find it a beautiful display of his own with his jaw slack and brows knit tightly.
His thighs tremble, then twitch and the blur of his hand regains its shape when with a few last long strokes and wide, teary eyes, he spills himself over you again and again in hot thick bursts of white.
The impact of his pleasure brings him off balance and he slumps forward. Your praises are hoarse, insignificant sounds lost between Eddie’s sobbing moans and you run a hand up your body to aid him spread his mess all over your skin while the other hand finds his face to caress a bright red cheek, to brush sweaty hair off his forehead.
“I love you so much,” you tell him.
Eddie sighs softly and turns his face into your hand, presses a long soft kiss into your palm before he sits up and throws his head back to take a deep breath. Above him, sun and wind are engaged in a play, turning the canopy of the tree into a writing, shimmering mass and for a moment, this feels like a dream. Then he sways like the branches, a goofy grin the last thing you see before he lets himself slump down next to you with a thump that makes you wince. He just hums contently, pressing his face to your sweaty neck.
“That was nice,” he mumbles, peppering your jaw with kisses.
“Yeah, uh-hn, really, really nice.”
“Dare say the nicest one yet.”
“Hmm, think I just saw your soul leave your body for a moment.”
“Hmm,” he hums and slings an arm around your waist. “My soul looks great on your tits.”
There is a beat of silence before you both break out in silly giggles, turning into laughter, turning into exhausted kisses and sweet words while Eddie’s soul dries on your skin in the warm summer air.
...
You make him drink some water first because he always forgets and while you have some yourself, Eddie conjures up a meal from his magical backpack.
“I made your favourite,” he says, opening a stainless steel container to reveal a pair of thick sandwiches. “Got some other stuff too.” He hands another container to you. “Just in case… could probably feed us for the next twenty-four hours.”
You remove the lid and find it filled to the brim with blueberries. You lift it to your face to draw in air laced with the sweet, earthy smell of the berries.
You hum with anticipation, mouth watering as you pick one large plump berry and pop it into your mouth, the rich, wild sweetness of the forest exploding on your tongue. “So good,” you sigh and a soft smile curls up the corners of Eddie’s lips. “I take it Wayne was lost in the woods again for a week?”
“Aye,” Eddie chuckles, eyes darting between your eyes and your mouth where two more berries just found their demise. “Must have been a good year. That madman collected enough berries to fill a bathtub with.”
“Now you’re exaggerating.”
He holds up his thumb and forefinger just enough so that a berry could fit between them. “I would call it embellishment.”
You huff and put the container down. Leaning forward, stretching out long over your waiting meal, you place a kiss on Eddie’s cheek. “Thank you,” you say close to his ear. “This is wonderful. You’re wonderful.”
A hand comes up to the side of your head, holding you in place. Eddie turns his face to you, nudging your noses clumsily together. His tongue glides along your bottom lip before his mouth finds yours; a kiss so gentle it feels almost timid.
He releases you with a peck to the corner of your mouth. You watch him lick his lips as you sit back, his eyes are turned down and there’s that wrinkled nose again. You’re about to ask him if there’s something on his mind when he snaps out of it in the blink of an eye, grinning from cheek to cheek and the thought fades from your mind.
“Bon appétit,” he announces with a flourish of his hands.
You mostly eat in silence, leaving the stage to the quiet sounds of nature, recharging while the shadows slowly creep further and further away as the sun makes its journey towards the horizon. There is the occasional protest when you’re stealing bites from each other’s food as well as sighs of appreciation over a simple meal that equates to a feast without even trying.
“Open,” he says, a berry between his fingertips and you pull up your brows.
“You don’t have a good enough aim for that game.”
“And I won’t get any better without practice,” he says with a grin oh so sharp, a voice oh so seductive. “So, love of my life, open. Please?”
It’s hard to stay still like that for long when Eddie is huffing and puffing as he’s missing your mouth over and over. Berries keep hitting your cheeks, your forehead and a few bounce off your lips before he finally lands one in your mouth. He pumps his fist and you applaud him; for effort and perseverence.
“My turn. Open,” you say and he obeys eagerly.
The first one is a miss, the next four find their target with precision.
“You’re cheating.” Chewing much more than one berry requires, Eddie eyes you with his trademark up to no good-expression.
“How would I even do that?”
“Sorcery,” he says, and flicks a berry at you that’s hitting you right between the eyes.
Eddie clasps a hand over his mouth as you wince, eyes comically wide in his shock, breath stuck in his lungs. Before you know you’re doing it, you reach for the berries, feeling some pop between your fingers as you load them up and fling a handful of the sticky ammunition at his chest.
There’s a hollow thud upon impact, followed seamlessly by the smacking of skin on skin as Eddie clasps his hands over his heart, face a mask of anguish and disbelief displayed with such sincerity you’re almost tricked into feeling bad over your attack.
“Crit… hit…” he croaks out before his eyes roll back into his head as he collapses.
You’re on your knees, crawling over to where he lies motionless with eyes closed and mouth ajar. He doesn’t move, makes no sound when you mount his hips right beyond his soft cock that lies now snug against your inner thigh.
There’s dark pulp sticking to his chest; unlucky stray berries squashed in his throes of death. The smudge connects two hickeys, forming one large nebula in a galaxy of bruises. It’s beautiful, the complex hues of blue reacting with his smooth pale skin, turning the mess purple around the edges.
You just sit and stare.
“Wanna have a taste?” he says, one eye cracked open in curiosity before he opens them both. “Clean me up?”
A blush appears high on his cheeks, giving away his anticipation, just like the glint in his eyes and the hands kneading your hips.
“Don’t think I will.” You run your fingertips over his skin, from navel to neck and back again; slowly, softly. “Only fair that you’re a little filthy too.”
“Come on,” he purrs, “have a treat.”
“Nu-uh.”
His nostrils flare, his ribs expand to greedily suck in air and with it, all the mirth and silliness. Suddenly the air feels thick and crackling like in the wake of a storm.
“Alright, alright, I hear you,” he says calmly and reaches for the berries across the blanket.
“There,” he says, his clenched fist oozing purple juice and bits of skin. Dark drops run down his arm as he squeezes the berries to a sticky pulp before he coats himself with the mess from chest to throat. “You can leave some behind.”
“You don’t know what you’re doing,” you say with the calm of a preying beast and lace your hands with Eddie’s dripping fingers. 
“Oh nooo,” he mimics you from earlier and grins like a blade. “I’m in trouble.”
Leaning down slowly, you pin his hands to the ground next to his shoulders. “There will be teeth.”
“W-was coun-ting on it.”
The stutter in his breath is delicious, a first taste of what’s to come. You want to make him whine and writhe under your hands and teeth, you need him crying and shaking and out of his mind.
His nipple is already hard when you flick your tongue against it and sweetness fills your mouth as you lick and suck and tug on the sensitive thing while your fingers find the other hard nub and pinch. Eddie barely breathes. He sucks in all the air he can get, then holds it holds it holds it before he lets it out as soft groans and moans. His fingers flex hard against the back of your hands, nails biting your skin every time you take your teeth to him.
You reach between your bodies and follow the trail of hair down with a featherlight touch to find his cock hot and hard and waiting. You slide your fingertips along the soft skin like a breeze, barely even touching. Eddie’s hips buckle up—
“Shit— hnng…”
— and you take the sensation away. Eddie’s face is flushed, his voice pressed through his teeth.
“Please…”
You lap at his skin, bit by bit uncovering a deep blush that’s more of a crimson compared to the bright red where his skin isn’t stained. He tries to grind against you but you lift your hips—
“Please…”
— and sink your teeth into his shoulder, over and over, inching torturously slow towards his neck. Some bites you kiss better, some you leave to sting a little longer. Desperate hands scurry over your arms, your back, your hips trying to pull you against him. Strands of hair stick to your face that must be stained up to your nose by now. You pull back for a moment and Eddie’s hands find your cheeks—
“Pleaaase…”
— to pull you into a kiss. You press a quick peck to the side of his mouth, then marvel over the shape of your lips printed there like a blue shadow.
“Fuuuck, you’re so gorgeous,“ he rasps with dazed eyes and chases your lips again. You press your foreheads together before he can succeed and his frustration is a cool draft on your wet skin as a long groan spills out of his mouth. “Please, please, lemme taste you, I really want to—“
His pleas are sweet and thick, just like his neck that taunts you with taut tendons and the slide of his Adam’s apple when he swallows hard around his desperation. You’re all over it, raking your nails down the sides while your tongue slides up right under his chin and—
“Fuck, no, wait, fuck—“
— everything moves as Eddie sits up and pushes you with him.
“Are you oka— hng—“ He stops your inquiry; fingers digging into your chin, keeping your mouth from closing, freezing it mid-vowel.
There’s this look again. His gaze flicks between your eyes and mouth until he’s just staring at your berry-coated tongue.
So you open up a little wider.
He moves slowly; it’s almost timid when his tongue finds yours and steals a little sweetness from you.
“Weird?” he asks, softly nudging your nose with his while holding you in place to keep you from swallowing. You barely shake your head before he’s back for more with a bruising kiss that’s full of nipping teeth and greedy tongues. Most of the remaining berries find a sticky end between your bodies before they are lapped up from various body parts and shared through devouring kisses.
You’re grinding your hips against his lap enough to make him shiver and moan but not enough to get him close to the edge and you’re determined to keep it that way until he’s losing it with desire. Which doesn’t take too long.
“You trying to kill me?” he whines with his head dropped to your shoulder.
“Just a little… as the French say.”
He groans. “I’d like to go out soon then, if you please.”
“No.”
He groans again and bites your shoulder. “M’ so fucking hard.”
It’s just a subtle shift of your hips but the next three, four times you move them, Eddie jolts and curses enough to damn whole bloodlines. You reach into his hair to pull his head back so he has to look into your eyes and you take a moment to admire the mess that he is; blue and purple and flushed red in between, jaw slack and breath stuttering under your gaze.
“On your knees. Palms to the tree.”
You lift off and Eddie scrambles to all fours to get into position, knees placed wide apart. There are stains on his back in the shape of your hands, layered over a pattern of slightly raised lines left by your nails.
Eddie’s shoulder blades ripple under your gentle kisses as you embrace him from behind. You run your hands down his belly to the V-shape between his hip bones and a little further to cup his balls with one hand while the other traces a thick vein on the underside of his cock.
You chuckle into his shoulder when he sighs with relief as you wrap your fingers firmly around him and start to stroke him oh so slowly. You don’t keep it slow for long, couldn’t keep it slow without stopping him from thrusting into your fist but you don’t want him to be still; you want him twitching and trembling.
Eddie takes care of the pace and your fingers do all the things that drive him crazy, your wrist twists just the right way and he’s holding his breath again, every muscle in his lower body ready to snap and so you loosen your grip before he can.
His head drops, a fist hits the bark of the poor old tree—
“Godfuckingdamnyou—“
“Shhh,” you whisper close to his ear. “Good things come in threes—“
“M’ not— can’t— hm-m, please—“
You wait another moment for him to calm down, or to hear the agreed-upon words that tell you he really can’t take any more teasing but they don’t come. He just breathes hard and shallow. You swipe your thumb over the hot tip of his cock, rub soft circles over the sensitive slit that dribbles under your touch.
“Whenever you’re ready,” you say and tighten your grip again.
The next time he’s about to burst, you just let go of him—
“Fuck— fuckfuck, fuck you—“ he whines, hips thrusting into nothing and he sinks against the tree, resting his forehead against its roughness.
You caress his back, smother him in soft kisses and hold him close with gentle hands.
“Regret being cocky?” you ask, watching a bead of sweat run down his spine.
“Fuck you—“ he chuckles groggily. You think it sounds a little wet. “Never regretted a second spent with you, demon.”
“That’s just the impending orgasm talking,” you tease, a beaming smile pressed against his skin where he can feel it.
“I dare you to fucking make me come and I’ll tell you again— ah— Christ…“
“God, I barely touched you,” you say slowly wrapping your fingers around his aching cock. “You’re really sensitive now, hm?”
This time, the wetness in his laugh is unmistakable. “Oh, you think?— Hmmng, that’s gooood, please, please don’t stop!”
There’s no more frantic thrusting into your hand; Eddie finds just enough strength to push himself back from the tree to make it easier for you to reach where he needs you.
You work him slowly, no need for fast strokes when he’s crumbling like this and you know exactly where to rub and squeeze and circle to take him apart. High-pitched whines and groans mix with something that sounds like pieces of bark chipping from the trunk of the three. You drink in every noise, every twitch, every oh-so-small sensation; it’s all intoxicating.
Eddie is vibrating. Every atom in his body tuned to a frequency only you can receive. He’s begging you for a kind of mercy that one must be ready to receive.
“If your eyes are closed, I need you to open them now, Eddie. I need you to watch.”
“Oh g-god…”
“Good boy.”
You shift your stance slightly to one side and reach through his spread legs from behind to find that firm, plump patch of skin right behind his balls. Circling your fingers without any pressure, you let him adjust to the sensation first—
“Oh shit—“
— meanwhile, you press his cock flat against his belly, your palm stroking the underside, your thumb placed to grace his frenulum with every slide and—
“Shitshitshit—“
— it doesn’t take much; one two three circles against the tender spot and his breathing stops, four five six and Eddie turns to stone in your hands—
“Come on, Ed, make a mess—“
— and then he comes and comes and comes all over himself.
...
The setting sun sets the sky ablaze.
No pinks, purples or blues; everything is swallowed by a deep, burning orange that turns the surface of the lake into a raging inferno and in the middle of it all, floating on his back, is Eddie.
You’ve been watching him drift along for a while now - long enough for your skin to be as good as dry again - and if it wasn’t for the opposite shore that separates the sky from the water, you would worry he could just drift off into the sky and vanish between the few stray clouds that dare enter the flames.
It’s a fitting scene, you think, as you rewind your memories from the day over and over, matching the heat spreading from your chest into every last corner of your being.
Out in the water, the arsonist turns over and disappears, feet kicking up a small splash of water. You wait and watch until he emerges again a good distance away from where he dove in before you get up from your spot on the lakeside and cross the small distance to the van that’s parked right behind the treeline.
The back doors are wide open, left that way in your hurry to get into the water and you climb in to grab your Polaroid in an attempt to capture some of the colours before they turn into endless blue.
You cover the flash with your palm, listen to the motor eject the picture and tuck it out quickly to let it develop safely in the darkness of a worn copy of The Hobbit that lives in the back of the van. You leaf through the pages that shelter the pictures you made earlier that afternoon.
Two are a little blurry, one is overexposed because you left it face-up in the sun after the noise from the camera woke your subject from his slumber. He’d been curled up against your chest and upon waking demanded instant attention in the form of head scratches. All the pictures are full of colour - blues and purples, mostly - and blissful faces. Even the teary ones.
Looking at Eddie’s bright, sleeping profile makes you aware that the tiredness started to slowly creep into your limbs. You put the book down and get busy shifting stuff around to make room for the fold-up mattress and prepare a bed for the night.
You’re sitting at the foot of the mattress with your back to the lake, unrolling a sleeping bag you probably won’t need when cool wet fingers sneak under the hem of your tank top and damp lips find the side of your neck.
"Sorry,” he says softly when you flinch with surprise. “Didn’t think I was so quiet… Hi.”
“I was engrossed in nest-building and you’re like a cat,” you say and turn around. The soft light from the lantern inside the car renders his smile almost unbearably soft. He’s dripping wet from head to toe and strands of hair stick to his cheek and chin. You brush them away. “A wet, sneaky cat.”
There’s still a blue tint faintly staining big patches of his skin; you suppose you soaked a little too long in berry juice. You trace the outlines with your fingers. “You had a good swim?”
Eddie hums affirmatively, snatches your hand from his chest and presses a soft kiss to the tips of your fingers. “The fucking sky was on fire,” he says in an almost pensive way, eyes fixed on a spot somewhere behind your shoulder.
“Eddie?”
“Hm?” He quickly blinks a few times before his eyes focus on you again. It’s like he’s coming back from far away.
“Where did you just go?” 
“Uh, just… I’m… just a bit tired I guess…” he wrinkles his nose and scratches the back of his head as if another thought is stuck there. “You know…” he pauses again and then the expression melts into a smile. ”Someone interrupted my well-deserved nap after an almost deadly handjob.”
You huff a laugh, but the thought that there is something on his mind that just won’t make it over his lips starts gnawing on you.
“And I kinda wish I had a fucking towel. Don’t feel like waiting out here until I’m dry.”
“Have you tried shaking yourself very quickly, like a good boy?”
Eddie’s brows vanish under his wet bangs and then a wicked grin that can only be the harbinger of mayhem spreads over his face. You regret running your mouth even before he widens his stance and starts to bang his head like he’s at a Metallica show with his dick out.
Drops of cold water fly everywhere, too cool on your skin now that nightfall takes the heat away and you scramble back over the mattress to get away from him. “You animal!”
“As you have suggested,” he laughs, coming back up while trying to get the wet hair out of his face. “Hey, where did you g— hmpf.”
You’d thrown a blanket at him, hitting him right in the face. “Oh shit,” you laugh and crawl back to the edge. “Sorry—“
“Can’t quite take your apology seriously when you cackle like that,” he grumbles unconvincingly, peeling the blanket off his face.
“Dry your wet cat ass with that thing, throw it over a branch or something and then come in here.”
He does just that.
You’re already drowsy when he finally settles in behind you and wraps an arm around your waist, a soft low melody deep in his throat that seems to rest heavy on your eyelids. Eddie turns off the light, mumbles something about mosquitos and nestles his face into the back of your neck. You can hear him sniff.
“This is what you’d smell like if you were a lake monster.”
“S' that good?”
“Very sexy,” he sighs and holds his wrist under your nose. “Verdict?”
You sniff; it’s Eddie but more tart. “Highly erotic,” you say truthfully but half-yawning. “We could be lake monsters together. Share a lake. Just you and I and—” another yawn, “—and the algae.”
Eddie doesn’t reply and you think he must have fallen asleep.
“G’d night, love of my life,” you drawl just as your consciousness slips away.
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amostnobleyandere · 1 year
Text
Yandere! Noble! Scaramouche x GN! Reader (Arranged Marriage)
A/N: hey look first post!!!! this blog is basically just a place to dump my thoughts on yanderes and situations w them// if you’re not comfortable w that, please leave!!! this is not the place for you
GN reader but!!! the word “bride” is used once so do w that what you will .
remember, this is a mature blog !!! don’t like don’t read!!!!!!!!
warning(s): male! yandere, toxic relationships, slightly narcissistic yandere, verbal abuse, child neglect, arranged marriage, toxic behavior, bad parenting skills, loneliness, obsession, yandere scaramouche, scaramouche is his own warningetc. etc.
Synopsis: there’s this specific scenario ive been thinking of lately : an enemies to lovers, but with a yandere that is particularly bitter and hasn’t really experienced an unconditional love before but then his initial hatred of you turns into an obsession. I thought scara was perfect for it :)
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neither of you had wanted to get married; you, the child of the last bloodline of a falling noble family, and scaramouche, heir to one of the wealthiest and most prestigious names in the empire, would have never been pushed to marry under normal circumstances. it could only be assumed that fate had revealed its hand and placed its destiny upon you.
you had never even met the young man that society had branded as ruthlessly curt with a lash-like tongue. you had never expected to, considering how far apart you were, in different circles and in different worlds
he was the duchess’ nephew and only heir, and was untouchable in both stature and power. in contrast, your family name was declining rapidly. you knew why your mother and father had accepted the marriage proposal the day it came, and you knew why they decide not to tell you until the letter in reply had already been sent. you had no say in the matter
how you parents arranged a marriage between the two of you? well, you could certainly guess; noble ladies gossiped and gasped about the young man who was rich with a handsome face, but with an incredibly arrogant personality and a razor tongue that both reflected his wit and endless scorn. you thought that the rumors must have been over exaggerated, as they always were, but for the duchess to have to reach out to your family to find a spouse for her son? had all the other contestants being rejected, and now they were picking through the scraps that were left? or perhaps, had they rejected him?
now, you weren’t so sure
even then, some part of you had never thought they would agree to something like this; they had concluded that this was what was best for you, had even told you that you will live a much happier life if you were in a household that wasn’t always on the edge of crumbling and giving way to time; you could see that they did have the best of intentions. and still, you felt betrayed
unbeknownst to you, at the time, your fiancé had felt the same way toward his mother; the expression of his feelings on the matter, however, included a lot more yelling and rage in his questions as to why he was being dragged into this. he was used to being disappointed, but being so blatantly used?
unfortunately, scaramouche’s defiance was only met with a cold silence and a blank stare, and after he had vehemently denied to go along with the marriage, his mother had only said that nothing could be done. he had no choice in the matter.
and the gentle glint in her eyes, that had still remained their after all these years, that stayed as she firmly reprimanded him, only served to make him more furious.
and so, his resentment for you, the other victim in this situation, came naturally.
when he met you for the first time, his regularly crass and sarcastic attitude only got worse. you could see the embarrassment dawn on both your parents’ and his mother’s faces, cringing every time his voice got a little too loud or when he said something particularly blunt. he made snide comments on your upbringing, your title, even your clothing wasn’t spared the ruthless bite of his words. between his curt and cold attitude and your futile attempts at making conversation, you two didn’t exactly hit it off when you first met
and then, when you finally got sick of it and told him what exactly you thought of his words and his money and where he could shove them, his resentment turned into something much more personal: spite.
he reasoned that he had every right to hate you. to be overly rude and childish whenever you so much as got the idea to be five feet near him. he never asked for the marriage. he doesn’t care about how much it would benefit the two of you, and he’s long past trying to finally please his mother into loving him, so why should he have to act like the perfect husband for someone who is below him?
your parents seemed to love you plenty though. if their guilty eyes and shifty glances were anything to go by. even if they were shamelessly grabbing at the wealth and prestige of another family, he could tell that this marriage was meant for you and your future. even if you didn’t want it. even if you seemed to dread it. every time they brought you over for a scheduled date in the lonely garden at the back of the duchess’s estate, there seemed to be a subtle pain in their eyes.
perhaps, a paternal regret at having to make their child miserable so that they could eventually have the things they weren’t able to give them.
…well, it gave him more reason to torment you.
————————
there seemed to be no way out of the awkward meetings. your parents were hell bent on having scaramouche as your husband, and his mother was just as determined. so, when you did have to suffer through seeing each other, you kept trading thinly veiled insults, practically sulking every time you heard the others name, and bickering with the each other at every opportunity. it became a familiar routine for the two of you, to not get along and verbalize your frustrations through jabs and taunts
strangely enough, scaramouche grew fond of the bickering. you were practically the only person who would speak to him so casually. with so little respect and without fear of him blowing up. he thought it was refreshing. no one hardly ever talked to him anymore, and even a child that had everything and more could not curb his own loneliness by himself…he would never tell you that, though.
he thought that at least it was entertaining to tease you. actually, if you weren’t so annoying, he might have actually gone as far to say it’s pleasant having you in his company. It certainly beats the large, lonely house he had to wander every day.
plus, when was the last time he had talked this much? when someone had looked at him and acknowledged his existence without him having to work for it?
—————————
as the engagement progressed, you two ended up spending hours together every week, whether you wanted to or not, and while you were mentally and emotionally exhausted from the stress your parents were putting you through, he’s looking forward to your meetings like they’re the highlight of his week…it’s ridiculous, he thinks, and he thinks, and he thinks, and oh god now he can’t get you out of his head.
then suddenly, you’re calling it off. the whole engagement. miraculously, you guilted your parents into going back on what they had agreed to.
his mother is appalled and frustrated, a bit exasperated now that she has to find another suitable bride for her son.
scaramouche is beyond furious.
he goes quiet with rage. he’s more snappish now, towards the maids, towards everyone. his attitude is no longer his usual arrogance and crudeness. his usual bitterness rose into an explosive temper and ruthless training just to keep himself confined to a state of sanity. there is, once again, for the first time in many, many years, an unmistakable fear of abandonment that is raging in his head. he feels so wronged.
and it’s your fault.
and then, he goes silent. if they thought it was bad when he talked, see what they think when he’s quiet.
for his mother, it’s unnerving. to the servants, it’s downright terrifying.
no one realizes that he’s calculating. no one really expects it. everyone assumed this was one big temper tantrum after suffering a huge blow to his pride.
scaramouche was really only clutching his shattered heart after giving it to someone who threw it away.
—————————
what he wants at first is revenge.
that’s what he wants to think he wants. he wants to make things even between the two of you; make you suffer like you made him. force his way into your mind in the worst way possible, and keep himself there to get the message across.
for the first few agonizing days after the annulment, he thinks; maybe that he should tamper with your parents businesses and make you a pauper, someone who is reduced to having to take care of their parents after you fall from the graces of society. and then, after that, he’s hoping you’d come crawling back to him, and ask for his help and his hand. and he’d oh-so graciously accept you back into his life; not before making you beg for it, though.
then again, perhaps toying with whatever lover you have would be a good way to get back at you. he just assumes that you have one, because you must, for you to just abandon him like that.
you should have just stayed.
either way, he’s going to make you regret it.
—————————
it doesn’t take much for scaramouche to convince his mother to have a much needed talk with your parents.
and despite everything she’s done, ei does want to make her son happy. she wasn’t blind after all; he’s always seemed to be on edge, ever since the accident, but he had changed in the short amount of time he had know you. the boy she had failed to raise and care for, someone who was now so far out of her reach, seemed to be more calm and content when you were by his side. it had been a long time since she had seen her nephew look forward to something this much.
whether you want the engagement or not matters less to her.
—————————
and so, your resistance all comes apart so easily. Ei is one of the most powerful people in the empire, so it doesn’t take much effort before she’s luring your parents into throwing you back to them and into scaramouche’s waiting arms. It would be the least she could do as his mother
it’s only a matter of time before you’re resting in the palm of his hand once again; the engagement is back on, running smoothly towards your fast approaching wedding, like your little rebellious mishap never even happened
scaramouche is reveling in it. he feels as though he’s won. and in truth, he has. he imagines the look on your face, how you’ll have to greet him eventually, look him in the eyes after tossing him to the side and then losing, and thinks about how he’s going to make your reunion as painful as possible when you do meet again
his wishes are fulfilled when not even a month later are you pushed into the expansive garden by servants and abandoned by them even quicker, watching them scurry away with pale but oddly relieved faces. once again, you were meant to suffer through another lunch date after you thought you had finally escaped and left the gloomy estate behind forever.
the familiar stone pathway and expansive flora only served to bring back bad memories of your failed attempt to gain your freedom and reminded you of what you would have to look forward to for the rest of your life. it’s only the scuffle of boots against the ground that brought you back to reality.
you knew exactly who was standing behind you.
—————————
when scaramouche saw you standing there, muscles taught and shoulders tensed as you refused to look at him, he took his time observing you, savoring the moment and committing it to memory.
his slow and deliberate footsteps did little to calm your fraying nerves. You were both surrounded by tall hedges and the gentle sound of water coming from nearby fountains. no one else was around. You were completely isolated, with only your fiancé- no, your crazed future husband- keeping you company.
and as always, his presence was suffocating.
“you know, trying to run away from me was cute, but it got annoying after the joke was over. did you really think you could go against a duchy? don’t make me laugh.” his voice had a high and condescending lit to it that seemed to grate against your ears. your stony facade crumbled soon after, instantly revealing the confusion and panic that welled in your chest.
“…why did you do it?” your voice came out hoarse and low. you whirled around, finally looking into those violet eyes. scaramouche felt a shiver of excitement run up his spine as your watery gaze met his.
“you hated this engagement just as much as I did. why did you drag me back here? we both could’ve been free.” a bitter laugh escaped your throat that pathetically choked off into a sob.
he laughed lowly as his head titled down, shielding his eyes from you. the sight made you shudder involuntarily.
“‘drag you back?’ deary, you belong to me. you did the moment I decided I wanted you. what you want doesn’t matter anymore. You don’t know what’s good for yourself, clearly.”
when he lifted his head back up to meet your eyes, he was smiling. the soft turn of his lips wasn’t full of cruelty or malice, scorn or hatred, and somehow that made the uncharacteristically gentle look so, so much worse.
scaramouche picked up your limp hand, gently turning it over, and slipped a ring onto it. it was like putting a heavy shackle on a caged bird; it was needless and unnecessary, you were already trapped. the world did not need anything else but the duchess’s final word to let everyone know who you belonged to.
but, as you stood there staring blankly ahead, you noticed scaramouche seemed genuinely happy to see the band resting on your finger.
the smile he wore turned more playful, more mocking, as those piercing eyes looked at you as if you were pitiful and small, beneath him, something that needed guidance
and his purple eyes locked with yours as he slowly pulled you to him and brought you into a soft kiss.
—————————
“Give me your love. Give me your validation. Hand yourself over to me, body, mind, and soul.”
“And what if I don’t want to?”
“Darling, do you think you have a choice?”
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sayafics · 4 months
Text
Dragon of Dorne - Chapter IV
This is quite a long chapter (which hopefully makes up for the long wait <3) with lots of fluff and some inappropriate thoughts - I promise so much more Daemon&Alaynha moments in Chapter V, I just wanted to give them something to build a relationship from.
A small change in this is that Viserys doesn't die - at least not yet. Another change is that Rhaenyra also doesn't have a miscarriage yet.
I still plan to stick to the plot-line, but just add in a few extra weeks for some Daemon-Alaynha moments <3 (which I feel so guilty saying but like oops).
Previous Chapter
Masterlist
Daemon had bargained plenty that night - the children did not have to stay. Rhaenyra did not have to stay.
But he would.
For Viserys. For his brother.
Of course, such a tale was not far from the truth. His brother was frail - dying, even. The quicker the hours pass, the closer the Reaper drew upon Viserys, awaiting for him to take his last breath.
Daemon had spent years at Rhaenyra's side, he had neglected his duties as a brother and cast Viserys aside. So his words were not all lies and some truth remained.
He would stay in King's Landing until Viserys had recovered or passed. The children could stay at Dragonstone and continue with their lives, and Rhaenyra with them to rear their youngest.
Of course, Rhaenyra was never one to listen and promised to join him after spending a fortnight at Dragonstone and remain by his side until the birth of their child, during which if all went well, their blended family would return to the Keep and claim it as their home once more.
Daemon gritted him teeth at that, frustration swelling within him at the possibility of navigating his countless schemes whilst being interceded by wailing babes and an angered wife.
There was a quiet ache of guilt present, too - knowing how long Rhaenyra had been pining for him because of his deviances as a terrible and power-hungry man all those years ago. For her to finally have all of which she desires, simply for it to be threatened by a kin she did not want - Daemon could sympathise.
But this was not affection he felt, nor lust. Surely it was much simpler. Much easier.
Daemon was curious.
Daemon is a shrewd man - calculating and manipulative, violent and mean. A rogue prince through and through, where all could see his qualities and hold it to the light with assuredness.
But this girl- this princess. So bright and kind and loving. A mask so thick and well-crafted even Daemon had struggled to see the beast that lurked beneath.
It was the darkness that welled up in those pretty eyes of hers, the spark that ached to turn into a raging fire.
It was curiosity, nothing more.
***
When Rhaenyra and the children had left the following morning, he urged them to return to Dragonstone by sea - it was safer with him absent. A worthy excuse for more time.
Rhaenyra had accepted with a quaint smile, a pretentious act at playing a blushing bride - to which he merely mustered a peck upon the cheek in return.
He could see the confusion in her eyes, could see her wonder why her Daemon was changing so quick.
But the truth was his previous marriages had broken him - kept him confined and chained. He allowed himself to become a tamed dragon, and freely handed his reigns over to Rhaenyra for her to wave proudly in show.
He loved her. Of course he did. He loved the girl who rode upon dragon-back to claim a stolen dragon egg, threats of fire and violence spewing from her lips - but even that girl he did not marry.
And yet, before him stood a swollen bride that was a mere echo of the girl he knew all those years ago. A realisation that had haunted him for far too long.
He thought the children would help - hoped they would ignite the dragon fire within him, would give him purpose and life.
Or perhaps they would ignite the fire that had become smothered within Rhaenyra and an ounce of the girl he knew then would return, and he would settle. He would revere and concede and accept.
Daemon felt weightless. Purposeless. Useless.
Pathetic.
***
Daemon suppressed the smirk itching at his lips as he sauntered his way back to his chambers.
His chambers.
The very ones he'd lounged in so many years ago with his wine and his whores, and not the one he had been made to sleep in the last few days.
The Keep was buzzing with life - Lords and Ladies of the Court watched him with sharp gazes, maids and guards were either hesitant to meet his gaze or watched over him with rousing suspicion.
Daemon could barely suppress his grin as he met their stares head-on with raised brows and dark eyes.
There was one thing he had to remember during his stay at the Keep - with Viserys bound to his bed and milk of the poppy poured down his throat in rivulets, he was without any allies in the Keep.
After Strong had burnt to ashes, Daemon was unsure of who led his Gold Cloaks now and was curious as to whether their loyalties had shifted alongside their leadership.
His mongrels were perhaps wastrels instead, eyes begging and hands postulated for any alms in the shape of golden coins.
Although there should be a few loyalists scattered around the Keep - he may not have been well liked, but he was brash and powerful, something that drew people in.
When Daemon returned to his chambers, he searched through his old belongings with renewed vigour. His muscles almost trembled as he pulled out clothing he hadn't seen in so long - too long has he spent in ornate robes and simple tunics. Too long has he gone without the needed release he found in the wiles of a well-earned fight.
Too long.
He stripped with ease, a sense of relief washing over him as the waning material of the tunics Rhaenyra loved so much fell from his scarred skin and he slipped on his leather armour with ease.
With his sword attached at his side, Daemon left his room feeling more like the depraved and nefarious prince he had been all those years ago.
This time he could not help his grin - big and broad and terrifying to all who glanced his way.
This was the rogue prince - no longer was he an ornament for the Heir to parade, no longer was he a dysfunctional and futile man.
No. He was a dragon.
And it was time he returned to the sky and wreaked havoc upon all those who would dare look down on him.
***
Daemon stood under an archway, arms folded across his chest as he watched the scene unfold with amusement.
Upon the training grounds, engaged in a vicious bout of training, was none other than his harrowing nephew and sultry niece.
Aegon watched his brother and sister in amusement, an array of cakes and fruits and wines laid upon a table near him as though he had beckoned them solely for the purpose of watching his siblings fight as a form of entertainment. He seated himself at the edge of the training grounds, unable to control his laughter or his brutal glee.
He would jeer when Aemond aimed too close to Alaynha's delicate face, cackle with glee when she would trip the boy and throw food at the pair when they would become so distracted in passing taunts they forgot to exchange blows instead.
Daemon was impressed by the skill of the girl - out-manouvering her brother with ease. She met blow for blow, with just as much force behind her own hits as him. She doged every cut and met every slash with a brutal one of her own.
Not once did an ounce of blood drip to the ground in failure - she was skilled.
But he could not ignore the possibility Aemond had taken it easy upon her - with the weight of his glares from the previous night, the chances of Aemond willingly hurting his younger sister was close to naught.
Still, Daemon could not help but draw comparisons.
His first wife had been handy with a sword, but he had only ever heard rumours. And those rumours did nothing to gain her his favour, as although she was a fine swordswoman, she was dragonless and, therefore, useless in all the ways a Targaryen would require.
His second wife and third were fierce dragon-riders. Unafraid of the fire of a dragon and the heights they could scale.
But even they could not tell apart the hilt of a sword from the scales of a beast.
But here, before him, stood a challenge and a promise. A swordswoman and a dragon-rider.
Daemon could feel himself stiffen within his breeches at the sight of her panting form, the sweat upon her brow as she dodged every deathly blow and sweeped her brother's feet from beneath him.
As Aemond fell to the ground, she kicked his arm with vicious glee and the sword he held flew from his grasp. She aimed her sword at his throat, her own rising and falling with hurried pants as a gasping laugh escaped her in glee.
Aegon leapt up from his chair, loud claps and a boisterous laugh at his brother's fall.
Daemon had expected Aemond to grow angered at the humiliation - to spit insulting words and perhaps even show her just how placative he had been.
Instead, he smiled - and for once he looked like a young boy again, a shadow of the child who had half his sight stolen from him.
Aemond stood up with a proud smirk when she had relinquished her sword, a conceding nod as he praised her, "a fine swordswoman indeed. I see Cole has taught you well, jorrāelagon mandia (dear sister)."
"Criston has taught me very well indeed, lēkia (brother). I believe if I continue under his wing, kepa will have no choice but to let me join the Gold Cloaks."
Daemon straightened at the mention of the army he had trained as his own, and his body flushed with a pleasant warmth at the idea of Alaynha - so mischievous and small - killing and maiming vile men under the uniform he designed.
It was almost a sign of ownership.
As though she was his - his violent, little dragon.
Almost.
He entertained the prospect of taking over his Gold Cloaks once more - Viserys would accept in a heartbeat.
And if he did, Daemon would pick Alaynha as his protégée in an instant - perhaps he would give her private lessons on the art of mastering the sword, teach her to command the army in High Valyrian simply because such a sight would flood his body in arousal and have her torture men in his name so he could watch her covered in blood, gazing at him with those pleading eyes, begging for his approval.
Fuck.
But he held himself back from his spiralling thoughts - curiosity. This was simply curiosity, he admonished his traiterous thoughts.
He stood straighter, hand reaching down to adjust his hardened cock.
He cleared his throat before stepping away from his hiding space - although it was quite out in the open, he almost grinned when he saw his nephews stiffen at the sight of his approach.
"Kepus," her voice was light and airy, just as surprised as her brothers to see the man still in the Keep when his wife and children had already sailed away.
"You're still here."
"Ah, I am. Although, dare I say Zaldrītsos (little dragon), you almost seem disappointed."
Alaynha rolled her eyes, a faint smile tugging at her lips, "of course not. I simply thought you would have sailed to Dragonstone with your wife and children."
"They must miss you dearly," Aemond drew closer as he spoke, "perhaps it is not too late to join them. I am sure your dragon will carry you fast and far."
"Ah, but why would I leave such great company for that of whom I've endured for years already." Daemon raised his brow in challenge, daring Aemond to suggest he leave his homeland once more.
He watched as Alaynha gazed between the two of them, her eyes then turning towards Aegon as she sighed in exasperation.
"Come, sister." Aegon consoled from his place, lounging upon a chair with a cup of wine filled to the brim, "let us flee before they bore us with their barbs and insults instead."
Alaynha snorted quietly, an amused grin upon her face as she rolled her eyes at her brother's antics - "might I suggest a better alternative?"
The brothers and Daemon stared at her in curiosity, "well, it seems our dear uncle is prepared for a fight. What better way to bond with the kin he refused to acknowledge than by sparring with them? Do you not agree, kepus?"
Daemon recalled the girl's words from yesterday, the spite that tainted her words as she rightly accused him of despising her family for their Hightower blood.
They were half-blooded Targaryens, barely dragons in his eyes.
But such things could not be true if he saw such a raging beast exist within her, as she was just as half-blooded as the rest of them.
Just as half-blooded as Rhaenyra's children.
But her birth, alongside that of her brothers and sister, had not been tainted by lies and an unsanctimonious vow.
"Mayhaps you are too scared, nuncle," it was Aegon who spoke with a broad grin, "my brother was trained by Ser Cole himself. You must remember the man - he told us the tale of how he knocked you off your horse. And your feet."
"Aegon," Alaynha lightly scolded the boy but could not hold back her own amused smile at his words - even Aemond had cracked a smirk.
Alaynha's eyes widened at the sound of a deep and rich laugh. She feared they had angered their uncle with their taunts and tales, but it only took a glance into the violent hues of Daemon Targaryen to see them swallowed whole by challenge and delight.
So long it had been since he had experienced such provocation, such defiance. A call of like to like as his blood sang with the call of a dragon.
Perhaps there was a kinship here, long denied by tainted blood and half-whispered promises.
"If my nephew is up for the challenge, I will not be the one to shy away."
Daemon tilted his head towards Aemond in recognition, hand placed upon the hilt of his sword as he awaited his answer.
Aemond, never one to turn down a challenge, agreed swiftly by turning his back to his uncle and making his way to the centre of the training grounds once more.
Daemon smirked at the show of confidence that rolled off the boy in tumultuous waves, but even he could not help the ounce of admiration echoing in his mind - had this been Jace or even Luke, they would have quaked and trembled at his presence.
And yet, here was his brother's child - a second born son, a turbulent fire. Seething and wrathful.
The irony of such a thing did not beget him.
Daemon made his way towards Aemond, but a hand upon his wrist stopped him in his place. He glanced down to the delicate hand anchoring him, eyes travelling up the soft skin glowing with a sheen of sweat from a harrowing sword fight, to meet the gentle eyes of a girl much too complex and secretive for him to decipher her with ease.
"Do take it easy upon him."
Her words were spoken pleadingly, as though this was not her idea. It seemed she could hear the words ringing in his head, and she sighed quietly as she continued, "although he may not admit it, he admires you. Truly so. You told me you wanted to know me. Well, know I love my brothers, and I cannot see them hurt - even in jest."
Now, here was a thing Daemon could empathise with. Here was a thing Daemon saw in himself.
He loved his brother, wholly and true. He would conquer worlds in his brother's name, and cut himself upon his own sword if Viserys had asked.
He knew the love one had for their brother, and he could see it shining in her eyes.
Still, Daemon was never one to let an opportunity to tease and test pass without falter - "and what will you give me in return for such a favour?"
She raised her brow in surprise, as though she couldn't believe he was asking such a thing in exchange for a measly request. Still she rolled her eyes and conceeded, "anything."
And such words were the truth.
"Do not spill a drop of blood, and you shall have anything you ask of me, Daemon."
Daemon.
Daemon.
Fuck, she had called him Daemon.
A descending warmth filled Daemon's body at the sound of his name rolling off of her tongue - so familiar, so tempting, so erotic.
Call me Daemon. Say it again.
He was tempted to speak aloud and beg for it.
But he could see Aemond's impatient form and Aegon's restless agitation - "anything, you say? It seems we have ourselves a bargain, zaldrītsos."
***
If this was what he believed was taking it easy, Daemon would be sorely disappointed when it came to asking for Alaynha's favour.
Although, she did have to say - her brother held his own quite well against the battle-worn soldier they knew Daemon to be. She swore upon the Seven she even heard the boy allow a careless laugh to escape his lips as he lost himself in the flurry of lunges and blows they exchanged.
Alaynha couldn't help the soft smile that stretched upon her lips as she watched the pair. Still, she was on edge - whether it was from distrust, enjoyment, or fervent kinship, their fight grew more brutal.
Less and less were there moments of deflecting and blocking and feinting. Every stab and every slash was made to leave a mark.
And still, in place of tension and worry upon the training grounds, there was a growing fever of gratification bubbling in the air - as though this was the challenge they had been waiting for all this time, pushing themselves to the brink of exhaustion to relieve themselves of anger and worry and misery.
This is what they had been missing.
And the realisation only made them fight harder.
"Do try and beat him, little brother," called out Aegon from the sidelines. He stood now, leaning against the back of the chair as he spoke out words of encouragement disguised as mocking jeers.
Alaynha sat upon the chair, reaching back to slap Aegon lightly upon the shoulder. He only huffed in her ear instead, "what? I am being encouraging."
"You are being a nuisance."
"Ah," he grinned blearily, "when am I ever not."
She snorted, "when you a too drunk to raise your head and bat your eyes rōva lēkia (big brother)."
"Oh, but a day in the shoes of a forgotten Prince would have you do the same byka rūklon (little flower)."
She smiled sadly, leaning back so her head rested against his arms - "at least you have your wine," she jested.
"And my whores."
His voice lowered an octave, whispering so dramatically in her ears that she couldn't help the laughter that escaped her in a bubbling concession.
Her laugh was bright and loud and echoed across the grounds. So captivating Daemon felt his heart almost stutter to a pause as he raised his sword, ready to meet a vicious blow from his newphew.
His head turned, as though his body had a mind of its own and his mind clouded with thoughts. Thoughts and ideas and wishes and curiosity.
Just a glimpse.
Just a second.
Instead, he felt his face burn as his sword missed Aemond's by inches, and his hardened slash met Daemon's cheek with vigour.
Daemon hissed, head twisting to the side as blood dribbled from the wound and pooled at the corner of his mouth as a surprised laugh escaped him.
"Aemond!" Alaynha spoke out in admonishment, even Aegon had held his breath for a second.
Daemon tutted, "my mistake, I believe. One should never let their gaze stray from their opponent."
Aemond stared at the man with a gaze so similar to the young boy who had his sight taken from him, almost hesitant to breathe in his presence now.
"Do not tell me you give up now?" Daemon grinned at the boy, eyes simmering with the fire of a dragon, heart beating as adrenaline pumped through him and excitement singed his veins, "come on, nephew. I thought you were better than this."
His words caused a spark to glimmer in Aemond's eyes before a roaring fire was set alight, he raised his sword for another hit, which Daemon met with a fierce one of his own.
Where Aemond parried Daemon's every strike with rigid eloquence, Daemon would meet his with vicious victory - steel clashing against each other as neither was willing to submit.
Alaynha sat straight upon her chair, spine stiffened as her fingers twisted in the material of her own leathers. Aegon's hand came to rest at her shoulder, squeezing in comfort as they watched the two battle out years of anguish and anger upon one another.
Daemon continued thrusting his sword forward, Aemond dancing around him and evading every lunge and throwing back fierce blows as his own sword sliced through the air.
It only took a single second- a breath.
Their swords clashed against one another, and all kindness and civility washed away in face of pure rage and animosity.
Daemon was still Rhaenyra's husband. He still hated the Hightowers. He would rather see Otto and Alicent dead than near the King.
Aemond was a Hightower bastard. A second son only by Otto's manipulations and ploys. He would rather see Rhaenyra dead and sit upon the throne himself.
Teeth gritted and growls escaped their lips as they waited for the other to yield - but neither dared.
A glint of light caught Daemon's attention, and he watched over Aemond's shoulder as Alaynha drew closer in distress.
It seemed Aemond could also hear her approaching footsteps, and the sound caused his eyes to flash and simmer with recognition before the anger, which rolled off of him in flames, settled to a kindling fire as he nodded in ascent.
Almost a show of acknowledgement, a performance of respect.
Daemon smirked, his own head nodding as he reluctantly relieved his sword of the force placed upon it.
They each stood back, shoulders rolling and necks twisting as they came to a stalemate.
Aemond had gotten a blow, had hurt Daemon, and made him bleed. But Daemon had promised to take it easy upon the boy, so truly by what means did the boy succeed.
"You idiots. The lot of you," Alaynha scolded as she reached their side, "what if you had hurt each other? More than you already have."
She glanced between them worried, her eyes falling upon the gash across Daemon's cheek that had crusted and dried but still twinged with pain when his lips stretched into a placating grin - "last I recall, this had been your suggestion."
"Mm, he is right, sister. You cannot fault us for adhering to your orders."
Alaynha's lips parted in disbelief at Aemond's words as she turned to his in faux betrayal, "are you taking his side over mine?"
Aemond smirked at the pout upon her lips, "try as I might, I fear no one holds my loyalties more than you, jorrāelagon mandia."
She hummed, eyeing him in exaggerated suspicion before a grin broke out on her face, "good."
Aegon drew closer upon Aemond's seeing side, clapping his brother on the shoulder and shaking him for good measure, "I believe the Hightowers have won this battle. Do not fret, nuncle. I am sure you will win something, some day."
"Aegon!" She could drag her hands down in exasperation, wondering why her brothers were so desperate to test and mock their uncle until he had enough and unleashed his wrath.
Before she could correct Aegon any further, Daemon drew closer and it did not go unnoticed by anyone how Aegon seemed to shrink behind Aemond, as the younger brother inched in front of the older.
Despite being the younger, one thing was certain - Aemond did not see an heir in Rhaenyra but in his brother and in himself. He may never get the crown, but Aegon could - and Aemond would do all he could to protect the Heir. To protect his brother.
Daemon simply tutted at the action, reaching over Aemond's shoulder to ruffle the shorter boy's hair as he squawked with indignation.
"Do not fault the boy, Zaldrītsos. He only defends his brother's honour - it is what Viserys would have done for me."
Aegon's face heated up at the words, flushing warm as he almost preened under his nuncle's praise, like a child. Perhaps he had already drank too much wine - yes, that must be why.
He escaped his nuncle's petting at the sound of Alaynha's quiet laugh and Aemond's shaking shoulders. He blew a huff of breath so the strands of hair that fell over his face would leave his vision free.
"I am not. I'm just mocking you."
"Ah, of course." Daemon consoled with a teasing grin, words much too enunciated to be well and true, "do forgive me, my Prince."
Aegon rolled his eyes, easily catching on to Daemon's own mocking tone and mumbled under his breath as he stepped away.
Aemond stepped back to follow him, "come sister, we promised mother we would dine with her for supper."
Alaynha hesitated for a moment, a soft frown upon her lips as she gazed at her uncle with gentle eyes. She bit her lip in contemplation, and Daemon found he could not tear his gaze away.
"I shall see you there, I fear Daemon's wound may need some tending."
There it was again, his name - so tantalising, the sound, as it dripped from her tongue.
"Then let the maester deal with him," Aemond spoke in annoyance.
"The maester has much more urgent dealings. It is a simple wound, I shall treat him and join you."
Aemond opened his mouth, ready to protest that if it truly was such a simple wound, Daemon should be able to treat it well himself. But his sister looked at him pleadingly, and he simply pursed his lips and nodded in ascent.
As he turned away, Alaynha hesitated for a second longer before stepping forward and calling out to him - "please let muña know Daemon will be joining us."
She watched Aemond's shoulders stiffen at the order, but knew her brother would never argue with her over such a small and measly thing. He once again nodded his head, waiting for Aegon to swipe his jug of wine before they made their way to their mother's chambers.
Alaynha turned in the opposite direction, only passing a glance over her shoulder to meet Daemon's intense gaze - "come."
***
Daemon sat upon the Princess' bed, his body rigid and tense as he watched her move and gather items scattered across the room.
Whilst Daemon remained in his leathers, she had changed into something much more akin to that of a princess.
Daemon had almost prayed to the Seven to stop his aching thoughts and traiterous body, the temptation to walk behind the dressing screen and see her bare body tremble beneath his gaze.
He had held off long enough, growing hard and stiff beneath his breeches as the dressing screen was almost transparent and gave way to the very shape of the girl hidden behind mounds of fabric.
The gown she wore now was simple, but the material itself was still expensive - a soft satin, perhaps even silk.
As she drew towards him, Daemon couldn't help but part his legs open, ready for her to slot herself between them. She cleared her throat quietly as she stepped in the gap he had made, placing her gathered items next to him upon the bed.
He looked up at her, unable to stop himself from admiring the soft planes of her face, her sharp jaw, her full cheeks, the blush that stained her lips, the eyes that almost gleamed in the light of a setting sun.
When Alaynha peered down to meet his gaze, a damp cloth held in her hand, her breath caught in her throat at the intensity of it, eyes welling with infatuation.
Curiosity, he corrected.
She blinked vigorously, eyelashes fluttering furiously as her hand almost trembled when she took a hold of his face. Her skin felt soft against his flesh, dragging from his hollowed cheeks to rest upon his angled jaw and tilt his fierce gaze away from her own that was growing timid and shy.
The one holding the damp cloth dipped the fabric in a small bowl of warm water, reaching up to brush softly against his gash. Daemon held back a wince, but she could feel the way his jaw flexed in her grasp as he clenched his teeth in pain.
"Sorry," she whispered into the quiet between them.
"You should be." Daemon had meant to mumble the words quietly, but she had heard them all the same.
She frowned at the silent accusation, "excuse me? I do not need to help you. I could always call the maester if you prefer."
Daemon sighed, eyes closing as he realised he had spoken his words much too loud, "I only meant, I would not have gotten this injury was it not for you."
Her head twisted in confusion, stopping her ministrations of cleaning Daemon's gash so she could tap him lightly upon the cheek to gain his attention.
His eyes opened immediately, meeting her questioning gaze as he let out a breath in a huff of amusement, "if it wasn't for that pretty laugh of yours, perhaps I wouldn't have gotten distracted enough to allow my tempered nephew to land a blow."
Her face flushed deeply at his words, eyes rolling as a scoff spilt past her lips, "all I hear are some silly excuses, kepus."
"If it were up to me, I would lock you in my chambers and leave you there, needy and willing, so you never laugh alongside another man again."
He couldn't help the jealousy that tainted his words, couldn't help but tease and test her boundaries once more.
Her hands trembled in truth now as she picked up a small bowl of ointment, dotting it over the gash with a soft touch.
"You speak out of turn, uncle," but her voice still shook under his burning gaze.
"And you do not speak enough. Perhaps you worry of all the others who have been in my chambers, locked away just as I wish you were."
"Perhaps you grow too confident in your own charms and wiles," she sniped as she rubbed the ointment in with care.
"Perhaps."
There was a beat of silence, but his eyes never left hers. Even as she collected her balms and ointments, holding them close to her chest, he watched her.
And when she was ready to step away, he held her waist and pulled her close. Her breath caught in her throat and he simply waited.
Alaynha knew what he waited for, knew what he sought.
She also knew she could not give him such a thing, not when he was wed to her sister - not when he already had a child on the way.
"I am not one of your whores."
"I would never wish you to be."
His voice was earnest, stubborn.
Curiosity, he justified.
She sighed, her hand resting upon his injured cheek and gently rubbing circles upon his skin as his eyes closed as the sensation, her voice was almost a whisper, "my mother must be waiting for us."
And with that she stepped away, and Daemon's hands fell into his lap.
In that moment, Daemon truly did send a prayer to the Seven and begged them to bless him with morals and strength for even he knew his curiosity was giving way to darker desires he would soon be unable to ignore.
An infatuation grew within him. A simmering and burning and aching infatuation- obsession.
If you guys made it to the end, I hope you enjoyed the long read! Thank you to everyone who has engaged with this story by liking, reblogging, and commenting!! I promise to try and update this series more regularly <3
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myladysapphire · 5 months
Text
My Lady Strong (IV)
Aemond had always been protective of his neice, obssessed even, insiting on keeping her sheltered, and purley his, he never let her stray far and following the incident at Driftmark, Aemma was rarley without Aemond as her shadow. How will the kind, sheltered girl fair in the dance of dragons?
word count: 1,495
CW: bullying, feelings of neglect and isolation
Fem!oc x Aemond Targeryen can be read as x reader)
Masterlist | series masterlist | previous part | next part
disclamer:  i do not own any of claim any of the A song of ice and  fire characters, all rights belong to GRR MARTIN, all characters are his except for my OC
a/n just to warn you Aemma is very naive and this chapter shows it, but shes 9 so what can you expect. also next chapter im planning a 4 year time skip, so Aemma will be 13 and Aemond 16.
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It had been nearly a year since the events of Driftmark. Since her mother and brothers had left to Dragonstone. A year since her fathers death. And yet she already had a new father, one she did not like, alongside his two daughters. She had also gained a new brother. But she hadn’t met him, and she doubted she would meet him soon. As each day passed the distance between Dragonstone and the red keep seemed to get bigger and bigger.
“My dear?” she heard Alicent call out, having gotten closer the last year, Alicent had become more and more of a mother to her, and being her 9th nameday and her mother and brothers nowhere to be seen, to Aemma it had began to seem like Alicent was more of a mother to her than her own. A fact little 9 year old Aemma could not stomach to admit.
“Yes?” she asked, looking up from her spot in the library. She had found her time often spent alone as of late. Aemond having become more distant since the incident. And Heleana, well was Heleana, keeping to herself, though she had become more and more isolated since her wedding to Aegon last month. And Aegon spent most of his time at the bottom of a bottle in the depths of kingslanding. So she resided in herself spending days in the library by herself, in a spot that used to be her and Aemonds to just becoming hers. And the few spare moments Aemond seemed to give her were spent training Vaghar, or watching him train with ser criston. He no longer wanted to chase after each other in the godswoods, or read in the library. Or simply just existing in each others company. She understood, somewhat, he was becoming a man, a man hell bent on learning everything in him to defend himself, to learn to fight. Everyone was growing up, but her, and she was being left behind.
“My sweet girl, what's wrong?” Alicent questioned, rounding the corner to see Aemma in what she knew to be her spot. “Hmm? You seem to spend every moment alone, and I know many girls at court who would die for a moment of time spent with you.”
“What girls? Helena only ever wants to be by herself, and seems to ignore me every time i spend time with her, and the last set of girls you summoned just whispered rumours behind my back. I don't wish to spend time with them, i just want Aemond, and he doesn't want me.”
Sighing, Alicent moved down to her level, talking her hands in hers, “that's not true, Aemond still adores you, he is, well-... he's becoming a man and needs time to grow, and after the events of driftmark, well they changed him, just give him time.
“Time? Thats all ive done, it's been almost a year, and not even a moon had passed after driftamrk has he started to ice me out. He was supposed to marry me, and yet he's completely changed!”
“He's a boy, a twelve, Trust me sweetheart, he's just a silly boy who thinks he has to do all of these things to make up for his lack of eye. He thinks you will not love him, think him to be hideous, that is why.” Alicent responded, soothing Aemma, by stroking her hair.
“Well that's just plain stupid!”
“I know,sweet girl, but all boys are.” Alicent continued “ know, we have a birthday ball and feast to attend, and my gift is waiting for you.” she said standing up and inviting Aemma up with her.
In her chambers, laid out on her bed was a white dress embellished with gold. It had puffed sleeves that slimmed down to cover her arm. The dress was lkonger than her usual dresses, and more wide, though not by much. Glod was laced around the neck line, and out edges of the dress, with gold and silver jewels scattered across it, creatijng a pattern down the bodedice. The white itself seemed to shimmer, as if moonlight was bouncing off it. When she put it on she felt pretty. She felt beautiful. Her hair was tied up with a gold ribbon, decorated with pearls and butterflies. For this she knew the gift was not Alicent but Aemonds, or atleast he had some influence. Butterflies. The thing they always used to chase, and the thing ameond loved to compare her too. Butterflies. 
The feast was magnificent, lords and ladies from all over Westeros had come, and she had received more than enough gifts and attention though not from anyone that mattered to her. 
Aemodn was there from the start, though he stuck to eating rather than actually spending any time with her. His attention seemed to be elsewhere.
“Aemond?” she questioned, trying to capture his attention “Aemond, are you enjoying the feast?” he did not reply, looking down at his plate instead, avoiding eye contact. “Aemond?” she pushed again “Aemond!? By the gods answer me!”
“Hmm?” he hummed looking up, allowing her to see the book placed in his lap.
“Gods why wojnt you talk to me?” she asked, moveing to turn to him, her eyes filling with tears, “ for the last six moons i have been acting like a stay dog trying to get your attenion, and now even at a feast helped in my honoru, you brign-” she reached forward grabbing Aemonds book “- a book. A book? To my own party, instead of talking to me. Why?”
“Aemma, please-”
“No, tell me.!”
“Gods, you're a child!” he snactehd the book from her hand, “your just a silly little girl, can't you understand that, you could not defend me, and when you had the chance to you ran off to your pathetic mother, and then come crying to me for help, whilst i have just lost an eye to your bas-” he shook his head, a look of shame fillking his face as he sees her eyes filled with tears, “gods!” he sighed, dragging a hand down his face, reaching forward “Aemma- it's been a lot lately, i have had to relearn everything, to fit with the loss of my eye, and i, look im sorry, i just snapped. But you have to understand, i cnat be a child anylonger, being your friend, and litening to your childish escapades caused me to be in this situation. Now I have to be a man, I have to stop being a child.”
“So you have to stop being my freind, to go on your silly little- your, to be a man? What does that even mean?!” she cried, “it's my nameday, can you not just be my friend for today?” she was begging,it was almost pitiful. 
Aemonds face changed, snapping form the look of shame and regret to annoyance, to cold and still, a face evewryone would soon be familiar with, “ and why would i want to do that” he sneerd, dropping her hand, and standing up, before briskly leaving the room without a single glance back. 
The rest of her night was spent alone. With Heleana leaving not shortly after Aemond, followed by Aegon muttering something about doing his husbandly duty. Alicent and her grandsire had already left an hour in, the King's health failing him, and forcing many of the lords and ladies to leave, as if their only purpose was to talk to him and not her. So she was left all by herself bar a few older cousins that she did not know. 
But the remaining hours she was forced to stay, many lordlings asked her to dance, and it turns out Alicent had already summoned some more girls to King's Landing, arranging a meeting  witht them at her own ball. Taking her mind of the event sthat had happened prior, evne if for a few hours. For a few hours she wasnt so alone, for a few hours she was just a nine year old girl celebrating her name day, celebrating with her friends. People who over the next four years would become the only people she truly had.
And when she did finally retire to her rooms, and she was well and truly alone she cried, she knew no one would knock and have late night celebrations, just as no one had knocked at midnight to wish her a happy name day. Just as Aemond did not spend every second of the day with her, smuggling her all the food she wanted, and giving her a gift for every hour of the day. She spent it alone, and she would spend the next four namedays alone, crying. She would celebrate with her ladies, though it would never be the same, she owuld dance with strangers, and not ameond, where dresses gifted by people other than her mother and Aemond. Her family would become more distant and Aemond becomes less and less her Aemond.
next part
Taglist (bold means could not tag)
My lady strong: @aemondssiut@idonotknowenglish @sydneyyyya @wondergal2001 @whitejuliana1204 @meowtastick @bellaisasleep @tinykryptonitewerewolf @sarahkimtae @winchesterfamiliebusiness @iiamthehybrid @zzz000eee @spookydaddy01 @melllinaa @ateliefloresdaprimavera @aelora-a @aleemendoza2425-blog @chittakii @gghoulzz @ryiana @duckworthbean @cynic-spirit @may-machin @Gianinaa19 @wolfiealina @unique7676 @yentroucnagol @loserwithnofriends @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @urmomsbananabread @azaleapotterblack @delaynew
Hotd: @targaryenmoony @theanxietyqueen17 @flrboyd @zillahvathek @dark-night-sky-99 @apollonshootafar
Aemond: @blossomedflowerofluv @violet-potter
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kunikuma · 6 months
Text
boo.
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relationship | ghostface!scaramouche x gn!reader (modern au)
synopsis | listen, the thirsty tiktoks of masked men – specifically ghostface – during Halloween were too interesting. you had to check it out for yourself! one of the actors is oddly... good at his job. maybe too good... content | mdni to be safe! suggestive tension with a murderer. that's it. kinda like...early stage yandere. no smut. cw | swearing, light knifeplay, y/n needs post nut clarity bc y/n is giving ‘foolish horror movie protag’, usage of "darling" a/n | this was supposed to be for both wrio and scara, but ive been neglecting the og boy. this is... unrealistic and self-indugent. please do not harass haunted house actors. super quick fic.
masterlist
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it’s halloween night and the internet was rampant with videos and images full of the various actors who were a little too fine on this spooky evening.
due to the rising thirst for masked actors darting around and failing to startle some folks, your friends had decided it was time to check out the local one in town for the cheap thrill.
terribly enough, with the rising thirst, there were rising murders in town too. but halloween happened one night of the year! surely it would be fine if you enjoyed one late evening, right? besides, strength in numbers.
horny wins over sensibility. perhaps with the halloween spirit at its peak, the actors would truly send a chill down your spine and less of a… flustered reaction.
down the street, a fog machine pumped a haze across the damp concrete. candy wrappers and fake blood were splattered across the floor, with laughter and shrieks filling the midnight air as various actors impressed the crowd with their theatrics. some of them wielded prop weapons and slashed at the crowd, while some of them crawled around and swiped at people to scare them.
the road led to a busy haunted house at the end of it, where a majority of the more elaborate frights occurred. to reel customers in, a few actors were out and about, spooking potential customers and shoving flyers in their faces afterwards. your friends were chatting away, looking for a place to attract the attention of a few actors to see.
after a few moments, a group of actors seemed to have set sight on your posse loitering around and were heading in your general direction. bingo.
within seconds, a lithe performer from the back of the group donning a dark outfit approached you. on his slender body, the simple, nondescript black hoodie and pants allowed all of your attention to focus on his mask. a white, ghost-like plastic sat on his face. fake(?) blood caught the light from the halloween decorations nearby, glistening like the actor had just finished off a fresh kill.
from the exaggerated mouth of the mask, rhythmic puffs of the actor’s breath slipped through the fine mesh, only visible thanks to the evening chill.
steady breathing.
as the full group of actors approached, whispers erupted from your group before you could give your friends a knowing look. before you could snicker out a ‘ooh, ghostface!’, the entertainer darted forward.
a prop knife glimmers before it firmly pressed against your side as his free hand lands on your shoulder to pull you into the prop. his fellow actors all pounced on your friends as they laughed with fright, some of them recording the whole interaction to post it later online.
pressing close against your warm body, he mutters almost breathlessly into your ear.
“boo.”
oh, shit.
he sounded hot.
his voice was muffled by the mask on his face; it sounded a little raspy, maybe hoarse from the various voices he had to make this month. at your gasp, borderline shameless whimper, the oddly sharp plastic knife retracts a millimeter, its owner probably taken aback by your response.
if only you had noticed the distinct smell of metallic iron wafting near you.
the knife is hastily snuck away and he steps back, his grasp on your shoulder releasing. you could only assume he was staring at you through the soulless eyes of the mask, giving you an exaggerated once-over. over the course of a few seconds, his head travels from your face, down your body, stopping at your feet before the mask raises again to rest its gaze on your face.
he walks off.
the ghostface actor brushes past your body, waving the prop at your friends as if egging them to try something. his ominous theatrics were quite fun, to be honest.
once he was a few steps away, probably to look for the next loitering group of potential customers, you work the nerve to open your mouth.
“oh, boo, y-you could do better than that.” you laughed wryly as you turn to face his departing form, folding your arms and hoping the flush on your face could be blamed on the temperature outside. 
something about that prop knife pressing into your side was… exhilarating. the too-sharp point that dug into your skin felt good.
the masked man pauses in his spot. the rest of his troupe had noisily darted towards a group of teens, hoping to get fetch easy business. their rowdy volume seemed to fade away.
your friends had stepped to the side to rest on a bench, rewatching the whole recorded ordeal from someone’s phone.
less eyes were on you both now.
he stands there before turning in his spot. he cocks his head, the overemphasized motion was so accurately recreated. the masked man just stares at you, waiting for you to continue. the sharp blade in his hand hangs limply as he bounces it up and down in his hold. above, the lamp post illuminated him from behind, his shadow stretching his proportions on the stone road below. notably, his bouncing blade looked even longer.
he seemingly turns his head to your distracted friends, and after a beat, his grasp on the blade seem to grow confident, twirling it within his hand and sticking it straight out at you, playfully drawing x’s in the air with it. after a moment, you realize he was doodling that shape at your head.
after each completed ‘x’, he would take one methodical step forward and the shadow on the floor grew more distorted, inching closer to your own.
with the blade fully out, you could truly appreciate how well crafted it was. for a prop, it reflected the one cold light from the lamp post above.
faintly, you hear him hum, but you strained to hear him through the plastic. the halloween wind blows and it catches on the hood of his attire, but it was not strong enough to tug the hood down. dried leaves blow past your shoes, flowing to wherever the wind intended on heading.
his voice breaks through the hushed night.
“is that so? i was only trying to scare you a little.”
his voice sounded gruff as he questions your goad; your knees felt weak at the low timbre of his words. his voice lowers further, settling into a drawl.
“you want a real scare, darling?”
sarcastic affection dripped from his words. from the bench, your friends had quieted down, their eyes wide as a few of them took their phones out to record your interaction. it wasn't everyday an alluring ghostface stranger puts on a show.
you swallowed down your nerves, blood rushing through your ears. you knew you weren’t going to die, he was an actor for fucks sake, but the air felt so different right now, especially with the way he was slowly waltzing over. gracefully, he manahes to make the quietest steps on the gravel. amazing, considering how his heavy boots failed to make much sound.
as he inched closer, his low humming grew louder behind that bloodied mask as he continued to lazily slice x’s in the air with his knife.
two slices.
step.
two more slices.
step.
slice. slice.
step.
once he was less than a meter away, a burst of confidence shot through you and your hand shot out to grip him by the collar of his shirt.
you yanked him forward and a stuttered huff of his breath collides with your face.
maybe you had seen one too many thirsty tiktoks of girlfriends frothing at the mouth at the sight of their boyfriends.
from a distance, one of your friends squealed before the rest of them shushed her before they all scurried away, deciding that they needed to let you have your main character moment.
with his head once again curiously and dramatically cocked to the side, he trails the tip of the sharp, plastic knife against your side. it catches on the fabric of your clothes and he laughs cooly, steadying the surprise in his voice.
“you’re quite fun,” he says simply, the silky tone of his voice lulling and neutralizing you. his hand jerks to the side and a ripping sound reverberates through the… oh. 
it cut through your… shirt. 
oh, fuck. the knife is real.
you jump back, your heart beating out of your chest.
“weird way to convince people to go to the haunted house,” you huff nervously, covering the cut with your hand to prevent the cold air from nipping at your skin. you grimace at the man in front of you who continued to just stand there.
the knife bounces faster in his hand.
“ugh, i liked this shirt! just give me the pamphlet to the fucking house; i’m convinced, especially if all the actors are as intriguing as you.” you joke with a roll of your eye. you stick your unoccupied hand out to the costumed man in front of you, waiting for him to slide the glossy folds of paper into your hand.
maybe you’d demand for recompense as well.
once again, his head silently tilts to the side, the exaggerated angle almost made you snort. the mask looked barely human with the way it seemed to droop so low and how the eyes and mouth did not replicate typical human features.
the eyes drooped sadly, yet you could almost feel… amusement? mirth? oozing from the depths of the inky mouth and eyes. the steady puffs of his breath from earlier seemed to have crumbled into shakily, uneven, excited breaths. the night air truly illuminated his rising exhilaration.
his nimble fingers began to thumb the hilt of his blade. 
eerily, you note that the area was... empty.
where had everyone gone? it wasn’t like that ten minutes ago.
“darling, i'm honored you think so highly of me, but...” he croons, his voice taking on a singsongy tone. he takes a step forward, pressing his other hand against his chest, grandly gesturing to himself as he holds the knife out to his side.
“im not an actor.”
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ATIA for talking bad about my gf?
im a 15yr old transmasc for context, gf is 14 cis F
this is a bit of background, but ill make it quick. i've been dating this girl since 6th grade (im now 15 and in 9th grade). she used to be really open, considerate, and hot. she had a really cool style and i liked her a lot, cringe and all.
over the time from 6th-9th grade, she questioned her gender, which is understandable. i supported her whatever she identified as that week and solidified my support by making her things with the pronouns and gender she used. however, i was going through the gender thing too, but leaned to be more masc. i started using masc pronouns, which i expressed to her, and she neglected to use. i eventually went back to they/them, which she seemed relieved for. that struck me as odd.
anyways, over the summer, i had to be hospitalized for some mental health issues (i will explain further if needed, long story short, i was thugging it out) and couldnt make it to the last two weeks of school. at the time i didnt have a phone either, so i couldnt call her. to her knowledge my friend ratted me out for a self threat and i got yoinked from school.
so, i hang out with her over the summer, and shes totally different. skinny as hell, blonde highlights, and a different style. she acted the same, for the most part, maybe a bit more confident, but i didnt mind, it just freaked me out that she'd dropped so much weight (she was slighty above average)
fast forward, we're halfway through the school year now, and shes kind of being a dick to Friend (15F, who was friends with her first but whatever) Friend doesnt know why and i dont either, but its another thing that stikes me as odd in a bad way. recently ive been considering breaking up with her, seeing as she is being a dick, and also has a few other problems (cutting people off when speaking, speaking too loudly, not aware of space she takes up, not speaking openly about her feelings to anyone, etc)
ive been talking to Friend about this a LOT, and my gf seems to be getting worse in behavior by the day. i feel bad because it feels like im talking about her behind her back, but i also cant bring up any concerns directly to her as she diflects my concerns.
TL;DR, my gf is being odd and not nice or communicative, and i talk to my friend about it a lot and the consideration of breaking up with her. atia?
What are these acronyms?
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sehnsuchts-trunken · 1 year
Text
Attention
Bradley Bradshaw x fem!reader about 1k words
summary: Bradley is always there to shower you with attention.
disclaimer: hints at anxiety, otherwise just bradley being everything ive ever dreamt of
top gun masterlist | top gun blurbs
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(I am running out of gifs don't kill me pls this doesn't have anything whatsoever to do with the drabble lol)
The restaurant was loud and crowded and absolutely uncomfortable. It was cramped to be completely honest, your side pressed snugly into Bradley's with how many people were sitting on this bench. And all that even though you'd called in a month ago to place a reservation for this huge group of people.
This was supposed to be a nice gathering. This was supposed to be a family get together. But the restaurant was shit, the food was nowhere close to good, and you were blinking away tears.
You didn't want to cry. You felt like a baby. Because no grown woman should be sobbing like a neglected three year old just because she wasn't getting attention. But here you were - at the same table as all of your cousins and all of their partners, with your own boyfriend by your side, not getting a word in, not being talked or listened to. Hell, Bradley was doing a better job at talking to your family than you were.
You'd never been good at this. You were reluctant to go to any gathering of any kind whatsoever. And now this.
If you didn't think of an excuse to go soon you'd break down before dessert had even been served.
"Hey."
Bradley's voice was closer to your ear than expected, his breath hot against your skin, and you turned to him instantly, his arm adjusting around your shoulders. He looked concerned.
"What's wrong?"
You swallowed hard. Your lips parted in an attempt to explain, but the embarrassment creeping up in your chest let no words come out.
He examined you for the entirety of two seconds before he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, hardly touching you for more than a moment. It was reassurance - a reminder that he was here, that you weren't alone, that you had no reason to be embarrassed.
"I feel like no one would notice if I just left", you whispered, chewing on your bottom lip and lowering your gaze to your hands, unable to look him in the eye anymore. You let out something that seemed quite like a mixture of a snort and a chuckle. "That sounds like I'm an attention whore. Wow."
He hooked a finger under your chin and raised your head so that you were looking at him again, eyes locked on yours, and pressed another sweet kiss to your lips. And another. And another. All of them chaste, all of them slow, all of them with a few moments eye contact between them.
All of them until he felt you relax, until he felt you melt into him.
"There she is", he muttered with a smile. "My pretty girl. Not the woman who was just talking shit about you where you were supposed to be sitting. Hope she's gone forever."
You couldn't help but grin at him (which had, obviously, been what he'd intended and he was smiling, pleased with himself that he'd managed it), shaking your head just slightly at the ridiculousness of it.
"Thanks", you whispered, blindly grabbing for his hand on your thigh and intertwining your fingers, realising that the unease you'd been feeling had been washed away entirely.
"Don't thank me", he murmured, dipping his head down so that he could leave a few kisses on your cheek and your nose. "That's what I'm here for."
You tilted your head sideways a bit and met his lips, catching him by surprise. His hand tightened on your shoulder, his thumb brushing over your skin, his lips against yours feeling so perfect that you wanted to get out of here for a whole different reason than before - this time not to escape, but because snogging your boyfriend in the middle of a goddamn restaurant was a little too much exposure for your taste.
You didn't even have to voice your thoughts. He pulled back, blinking, his eyes hazy.
"Any inhibitions to leaving early?", he asked, his voice a little hoarse and his pupils a little blown and shit, you still couldn't quite believe that you had this effect on a man like him.
"Nope", you laughed, pressing a tiny kiss just below his jaw. "None at all."
His grin was unmatched as he pulled away from you, drawing his arm back (which didn't leave your shoulders feeling cold whatsoever, you totally hadn't got used to it) and hauling you to your feet by your hand, still clutching it tightly. You thanked whatever gods were responsible for seating you and Bradley at the far end of the table.
It took a few moments to stand steadily again, but the second you did and not a moment later, Bradley was tugging you after him, away from the table, away from the restaurant.
You didn't care that the conversation stopped abruptly. Or about the few confused calls of what you were doing. You didn't even bother saying goodbye.
To be truly and wholly honest, you hardly noticed any of it. With Bradley's hand in yours, his laughter in your ears, you couldn't notice anything but him.
So you just stumbled out of the restaurant and into his arms and didn't let go of him ever again.
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