#and not to invalidate platonic love or anything but was that REALLY necessary?

[arabian-batboy]

Finally finished Fruits Basket and I while I may still think that the very beginning and the very end of the story were a tad underwhelming, I absolutely loved the entire show and its definitely one of my favorite anime.

I came in thinking its going to be a cliche/cheesy romance anime, so I was very surprised with how much depth and personality all the characters, even the small side characters, had and it wasn’t really a case of “they will get one episode about them then we will completely forget about them” but instead it was something that was continuously built on over the course of the show in a slow burn and I really appreciate that.

My favorite characters are Tohru, who I was very quick to label as “the boring bland protagonist whose only job is to be the audience’s self-insert” but slowly she really became interesting and I found my self really loving her character and rooting for her and Kyo, who is the best boy ever that deserves all the happiness in the world and also everyone else really need to be a little nicer to him tbh and both of their parents (Kyoko and Kazuma) were such great loving parents and I loved their relationship with their own kid and also each other kid, its such a shame that Kyoko is dead, because I just know that she would have been the best mother-in-law ever with the most entertaining dynamic with Kyo.

Uotani, Manabe and Hiro are also some of my favorite, but honestly I either like or am neutral toward the rest of the cast, the only characters that I’m kinda annoyed with were Akito and Yuki (explained more in the tags), but if the last season had more episodes focused on developing Akito’s character and gave us a more dramatic way for the curse to be broken as well as leave out or fix some of the questionable romances (ShigureXAkito + KurenoXUotani) then it might have been a 10/10 show for me.

I did hear they have a prelude movie and two spin-off manga, so I will definitely be checking those out. 

#prepare for an influx of Fruba fanart #Akito is just a horrible person that should be locked up in jail and I don't understand why the show let her get away with so much #and Yuki is just annoying lol #the only time I enjoyed his character is when he's interacting with the Student Council or his brother #aside from that he's just the sad uwu boy who's also smart handsome and powerful #which I could ignore.....if the show didn't continue giving him and Tohru intimate moments every two epiosdes #even though both of them are already dating other people #I'm still annoyed the show ended with a scene between her and him (excluding the epilogue) #and not to invalidate platonic love or anything but was that REALLY necessary? #I don't know if I'm annoyed by him because Kyo is my favorite but he really almost ruined the show for me #Fruits Basket

[toasterdrake]

really hope crwby are going for platonic m/f love with white knight cause theyve been adorable

personally, i think it would feel a little forced to have their relationship take this turn and become romantic when its just not necessary. they have such a good bond already, which we're finally seeing on the screen

i said when this volume started that i wanted some platonic white knight and im very happy to have gotten it. i just hope crwby doesnt try to do anything different with them. almost invalidates their friendship, yk? that the logical solution to a close bond is romance. that their scenes together now are just preemptive rather than meaningful in their own right

#rwby #white knight shippers pls dont attack me its just my personal feelings lol #rwby volume 9 #rwby volume 9 spoilers #platonic white knight #weiss schnee #jaune arc

[moosethren]

Horizon Ask Game

I’ve not been tagged but I’ve seen so many of these and I wanna give it a go. xD

1. ride or die ship (your otp): I mainly just ship my ocs with canons so my OTP is Ash/Kotallo. If I gotta say a canon one, I do enjoy Erend and Aloy.

2. most annoying ship: Only thing annoying with ships in fandoms is when someone tries to shove it down your throat while invalidating your own. That’s the only annoying thing.

3. second favourite ship: Kherus/Avad (crossover canon) but Varl/Zo quickly grew on me as well. Aloy and Talanah work really well too.

4. favourite platonic relationship: Kotallo and Alva. But also Gendas and Rushavid, I just love those two! 

5. underrated ship: I dooon’t know enough about ships in the HFW fandom to know what’d be underrated. 

6. overrated ship: Same as above really.

7. one thing i would change in canon: Varl’s death and the following pregnancy with Zo. Also the kinda rushed romances in general in the game! But then it could be because I’m asexual/demi so slow burn ships are the only ones I ever enjoy. 

8. something canon did right: The world building and the tribes. It’s such a fascinating and fun world to read and learn about.

9. a thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom: Alas, I’ve not done anything for Horizon yet. I am privately working on a Horizon AU for TBB. 

10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing): Gildun. Gotta love him.

11. the character i relate to the most and why: Alva. The nerd and she’s defo autistic. Will fight if necessary.

12. character(-s) i hate the most and why: Nooone really? They all serve their purpose really.

13. something i've learned from the fandom: I just know there are/used to be a lot of ship wars but such is the case in every fandom really.

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: I very very rarely read on Ao3, as I tend to write my own things instead. But fluff and combat stuff really.

15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: All the Way by Neea River, for Ash and Kotallo. Tagging: I don’t think anyone follows me for Horizon content but if you see this and play the games, go ahead.

#;moose stuff #ask game #horizon forbidden west #horizon zero dawn

[komtrkru]

lexa and bellamy would be friends in modern and no one can change my mind.

#i am always gonna be critical of bell's actions as i am of lexa's and anyone else's #and i know people expect the ship war to be necessary #which is exhausting #like yes i openly don't ship or like blarke but as two individual characters who do not need and would not want to fight over a girl #they're very alike in their interests and loyalty to their people #lexa being a literature nerd and probably mad into history. bellamy being an absolute nerd under the macho bravado #they're two people who didn't get a chance to really meet in canon because they were on opposing sides #if you take that out of the equation they'd actually get along #and if you think lexa wouldn't respect clarke's love for him you're wrong #at the end of the day clarke does love him. it's platonic. but she does. #but people are under the illusion that platonic is invalid when it's not. #platonic love can be just as strong and unyielding and lifelong as anything romantic. #and lexa is not the type to demand clarke not to love anyone. #she would wipe skaikru out if not for clarke's love of them #and maybe she should've all things considered #but i mean i'm glad she didn't because i like most of them :') but still. #people can reach all they want and assume lex would automatically despise bell but honestly she wouldn't. not if it ain't canon. #and even in canon she doesn't despise him. she let a bomb drop on tondc to protect him ffs. #imagine how happy it'd make clarke to see her gf and her family bonding. as if lexa would ever deny that. #* lexa play despacito / ooc.

[bondsmagii]

Hey, Miceál, speaking from the perspective that you've already found your lifetime partner (your husband, of course), do you think everyone on this planet has an actual true love? (In a romantic way, though). Do you think there's actually someone for everyone and that the reason some people die without their special one is because they didn't get to know them due to life circumstances?

I'm going to warn you straight off the bat that I do not have a conventional relationship with love at all, and neither does my partner. without going into overly personal detail, all I can say is that I imagine the relationship I have with my partner, while wonderful for us, would be utter hell to most normal people. with that being said...

I am not romantically inclined at all. I do not really experience romantic love, I don't make gestures of romance, and I don't much care if somebody doesn't make romantic gestures towards me. therefore, I don't put much importance on the idea of romance and I bitterly resent the idea that everybody has to have a romantic partner, and that to have a well-rounded life story you must find romantic love. if that's what you desire and what you need to fulfil yourself, that's fair enough. however, I don't think it's necessary for everyone, and I think that all the other kinds of love that exist in the world are often overlooked and sometimes outright invalidated in the face of "true" love, i.e. romantic love.

do I think there's a romantic partner out there for everyone? absolutely not. not everybody even wants that. the idea of a conventionally romantic relationship makes me highly uncomfortable, and a life like that would be hell. I count myself lucky every day that I wasn't born even a few generations ago, where that would have been expected of me. however, do I think that there's someone out there for everyone? I do. unless you're the kind of person who prefers to go through life alone (which is also fair and valid), I do think there's somebody out there for all who wants them. whether this is romantic, platonic, some indescribable aspect of love (of which there are many); whether it's a family member, a partner, a friend... there's somebody. I do believe that. I also believe that these things tend to fall into place the less you look for them.

so, if you're looking but you never find them? I believe that maybe you were looking in the wrong place. I spent years looking at things I thought I wanted and I thought I should have, because that's what everyone was saying, but I never found it. only when I took a long, hard look at myself and asked myself why I wanted those things did I find the answer: because I thought I should want those things. I did not. sometimes it seems you want romance more than anything, but really you would be happy without it, experiencing another kind of love. sometimes you think you want company, when really you would be more content alone. and sometimes, your fate is that the love you hold will be unrequited or never realised. this is a cruel aspect, but the person for you does not necessarily have to reciprocate. why that is, I don't know, but it's up to you what you do with it. there is a certain kind of satisfaction to be found in bearing such love, and those who carry it often find that it's always been that way for them -- to love the unattainable, and find that attaining it is unsatisfactory. as I said, there are countless different types of love. this is one of many.

finally, I don't tend to use the word "lifetime" in this context. a lifetime is a long time. my partner and I are not the same people we were when we met. it is fantastic when you meet somebody who changes alongside you in a way that remains compatible, but that's not always how it works. committing to a lifetime is a lie -- you can't commit to what you can't predict. better to commit to doing your best; to seeing as many years together as possible, and if death gets you before change you call it a victory.

#anon #asks

[val-aquenta]

1,2,15,and 22 for the writer asks?

Ooh Yay! Thanks for the ask! Maybe I’m procrastinating writing??? but whatever, this is fun!

1. Is there a favorite character or title you enjoy writing for the most?

heh this is easy. I’m perpetually stuck between Mace, Obi-Wan, Yoda, or Luminara. Yoda I prefer to write as a side character tbh mainly because I want him to be extra grandpa to his fellow Jedi lmao. But yeah, I love writing Obi-Wan because I feel like we’re pretty similar and I can sink into his thought process quite easily which is a plus. Mace is a really fun character to write because I like to balance his emotional/soft side with his more rational, I have to do what is necessary side. Personally I also empathise with Mace a whole bunch because I also have quite a large rational side, which is a plus. I tend to think that he usually knows what he needs to do and he might dislike it, but he will still do it. I just love Mace, okay, and of course I’m overwriting shitty fanon Mace Windu because no he doesn’t hate Anakin, and yes he loves Depa so much that when she didn’t give him a hug he was super depresso. He’s just so sweet, but he knows that sometimes shit has to be done and moping around complaining won’t make anything better. Luminara is just sweet. I want to write so much more for her, but I tend to have her as a side character in my fics (a tragedy I know) but I am working on making her more of a main character is some fics. She’s very much like Mace in that she understands that sometimes to do the right thing, you must sacrifice stuff that you love which is commendable imo. She also loves Barriss very much and I headcanon that she and Obi-Wan are best buds. She and Obi-Wan definitely geek out about the stupidest shit, you can’t change my mind. 

2.  Is there a least favorite character or title you dislike writing for?

Uhh... typically I tend to avoid characters who I don’t want to write because i find it difficult to write them and not enjoyable. But I’ll share a few for this sake. Palpatine kinda makes me feel slimy when I write him. It can be fun to write crack Palpatine, but realistic trying to write him can be a nightmare for me. I don’t really know how to write manipulative sheev well, so I feel it ends up very much crackfic feelings. 

Anakin is also difficult, but sometimes I enjoy the challenge. He can be pretty complex to some, but for me the pain is trying to write his priorities because christ he can’t get them straight at all. Post!aotc Anakin is obviously placing Padmè VERY high (at the top lmao) but not really because if it were that he’d leave the order to be with her. Idk I get very confused writing him. I also feel very apprehensive posting stuff with Anakin because I know a lot of people love him and have somewhat specific (typically fanon) ideas about him and also have very strong feelings about those. I’m not saying you can’t have them, but sometimes I worry that I’ll be attacked because my view on Anakin is far from friendly lmao. Tbh Padmè suffers similarly because I don’t know how to write her without being mean xD. I don’t really understand many of her motivations surrounding the secret marriage and shit and her prioritisation is also strange. I mean the whole ignoring the Tusken massacre basically and only turning from Anakin after Anakin tells his part in breaking the Republic (not listening to Obi-Wan say he killed Jedi) makes it ahrd to sympathise. Fandom has a typically positive view of her and I don’t want to anger anyone with my views, so I try to keep a somewhat ambivalent take with her. I haven’t written anything starring her/them together much so yeah. 

I actually like writing Ahsoka because she’s pretty cool, but I’m very nervous posting stuff about her post wrong Jedi arc because I think my views on it are pretty unpopular, and some of her fans are very... vehement about their views which is fine as logn as you’re not trying to invalidate my interpretation you know? Kind of makes me sad since I do love her character, but sometimes her fans put me off. 

Idk if this counts but also romance. Personally never really had a great one, so I don’t understand how to properly write it which makes it hard, and I don’t see the draw of it. I tend to both read and write platonic stuff. Lots of gen for me :)

15. What made you start to write fanfiction/stories?

I think @jedimasterbailey said she started writing Luminara stuff/fanfic in general because of the amount of Luminara slander and I kind of do the same but for jedi hate in general. Also, more specifically, Mace Windu hate. It just grinds on my nerves, but I’m not going to sit here and say people can’t write what they do, so yeah I just started writing my own to hopefully inspire others to do the same, or to just shove more pro Jedi shit out there ahaha. I’ve actually gotten a few comments of people saying that my fics have made them like/appreciate Mace a bit more which means a lot since he’s one of my favourite characters. 

More than that, thought, I just enjoy fanfic. I had loads of ideas for stories from multiple fandoms and I thought I might start posting some of them because they’re doing nothing just chilling in my drive. Also all the lovely writers of fic in multiple fandoms inspired me, so thanks to you I kind of got the courage to actually upload anything :)

22. Care to share any future WIP ideas you have lined up?

Ooh boy I got loads heheh. But I’ll talk of a few. So I had this idea about a time travel au (I know so original xD) and it was supposed to be Obi-Wan going back in time, but I actually wanted to kind of combine two different ideas, one being Ahsoka as Obi-Wan’s padawan, and a time travel au to one. So yeah... I have a fic in the works about an Ahsoka who travels back right after Vader kills her on Malachor (no Ezra saving her) and who becomes Obi-Wan’s padawan. This one’s a bit in the begining so it will probably be a while before anything’s posted, but if you want to send some kind of help for it I would appreciate a lot. This will probs be my first really longer fic, so I’m worried I’ll lose motivation which is why I’m going to plan it a bit more than most of my other stuff. I’m so excited because the idea has been bouncing around my head for so long!!!

I have another that is much closer to finishing which is a little 5+1 fic about Obi-Wan and the name Ben. I want to change a few things before posting but it should be coming around soon. It’s a little angsty, but mostly fluff.

Last one I’ll talk about, I promise haha. This one is a little uncertain of when I’ll finish because it’s somewhat written out, but the last bit is KILLING me. It’s an essay style writing up of order 66 and the empires rise. Kind of examining public opinion and stuff about it. Basically exploring how the genocide has affected the universe. It is written after the empire falls, so it talks a bit about the shitty Empire and propoganda and is just a pro jedi love letter xD

#long post #ask game

[whetstonefires]

Your post about romance was so spot on and this is from someone who really likes reading romances some of the time. I just wish there were more books where friendships (which after all make up the majority of people's relationships!!) were given the same weight and importance as romance gets unthinkingly. Like, I want books or fic which show the development of two (or more) new friends *as the plot and main part of the book*, and the same thing for the progression of pre-established friendship.

Human relationships are varied and complex and interesting and limiting writing to mainly concerning romantic or dating ones is infuriating! I enjoy reading character driven stuff, which is why I like some romances but I really want to see similarly detailed deep studies of friendship. Friendships are so important, and romantic relationships do not supersede them.  Obviously there is gendered bias against romance as a genre but that is not the only reason to be uninterested in romance damnit!

Sorry for ranting in your inbox about romance and thanks for the post

Hah thank and welcome. Very true!

Yeah, the problem is not just how ubiquitous romance is but the inevitability of it. So many people are so much in the habit of hanging their emotional investment on ‘couples getting together’ that not putting one in is a risk, as a creator, and the faint suggestion of a possibility that a romance might eventuate between two characters constitutes a promise that the audience will be outraged to see not followed through.

So making a story focus at all on a relationship between two people who are considered valid potential romantic partners means having to go through incredible backflips and contortions as a writer to get away with not pairing them up, or there will be outrage. There will be outrage anyway, but hopefully on a contained scale that doesn’t have people throwing your book away.

(The easiest way, of course, is to give one or both of them an alternate partner, but then you either have to build up that relationship as the central focus instead, because you aren’t allowed to love anyone that much and not be romantically involved or be romantically involved For Real with anyone but whoever you love most, or accept that you’ve plastered on a beard of some kind in a way that at this point makes your main duo look even more romantic to people who are looking for that in the first place, even if it lets you write a plot that doesn’t acknowledge this.)

This has contributed enormously to the cultural truism ‘men and women can’t be friends.’ They aren’t allowed to be. And this weird intense romantic pressure is now increasingly extending to same-sex friendships, and it’s like...it’s good that gay visibility and acceptance are growing! That’s great!

But it means that all relationships are increasingly exposed to this honestly fucked up set of expectations. That every single love of any intensity is romantic and probably sexual. That that’s the only love that’s real, or that really matters. With occasional exemptions carved out for parents.

And that’s cultural, I want to say. The inclusion of and an interest in the romantic lives of characters in fiction is definitely natural and practically inevitable, but the outsize role it occupies in our current media culture is abnormal and totally non-compulsory. The central role of romance in so much of narrative is just...a pattern, a narrative schema that currently holds sway, born of an assortment of historical accidents and trends, and I don’t think it’s a good one.

I think it would be better for us as a culture and all our individual relationships for that particular social construct to be broken down.

Because this cultural obsession with The Romance in media mirrors and continually recreates the obsession with The Romance in real life. You know how many people are making themselves miserable by either being in a relationship predicated on the need to have one, any one, rather than actual mutual affection, or about not having a love interest currently at any given moment?

Like, quite separately from the actual frustrated romantic feelings themselves, people feeling like they are less or failures or just...unfinished somehow, because they don’t have a romantic partner. It’s so harmful and absurd! We all know this!

And there are of course a lot of sociological factors that have led to that point as well, but it’s linked particularly closely I think to the atomization of modern society.

You’re not likely to retain any particular community for long--we move around so much over the course of our lives, anything you have is designed to be taken apart. School friends are only rarely retained after school, work friends are only until you get a new job, family is quite often something to be avoided or something you have to leave behind, and not usually an extended network anymore anyway.

We are always moving into new contexts, or knowing we might be moved, and holding onto relationships from one context into another is generally regarded as an unusual feat betokening particular, though not lionized, devotion, and leaning on these relationships ‘too much’ or pursuing them with ‘too much’ energy is regarded with deep suspicion.

This, too, is not particularly normal in the human experience. We are not psychologically designed for this level of impermanence. And we have developed very few structures as a culture thus far to make up for it, which is why the modern adult is so famously, dangerously lonely.

But we have all these social protocols for acquiring a person and holding onto them. A person who’s just yours, all yours, who it is promised will fulfill all those gaping needs all by themselves, and if they don’t it’s because you or they are wrong, and need either a different partner or fixing.

The fact that this is insane and not how romance works over 90% of the time is irrelevant to the dream of it, and the dream overwhelms and controls the reality. I agree that codependency is really fucking romantic, and having a kind and supportive mutual one is a lovely fantasy! It’s just...

A lot of harm eventuates from pursuing this fantasy in reality with a media-based conviction that it is 1) a reasonable thing to expect and 2) a necessary precondition for wellbeing and worthiness.

But we have poured so much cultural freight and need into this one single relationship format. At this point having need in any other direction is regarded as disordered and suspect and probably a misdirected application of sexual desire.

The law, too, has put a lot of energy into supporting the focus on seeking the romance as life goal, because the nuclear family is built on the codependent marriage, and capitalism likes the nuclear family very much. The nuclear family is extremely vulnerable to market pressures and bad at collective action, and tends to produce new tiny humans whose main social outlet has been within the school system, which is specifically structured to condition you to accept abusive workplace conditions as a normal precondition of existence, and not to attempt too much intimacy.

Ahem. Spiraled there. But! It’s all connected! Many of the privileges piled onto the institution of marriage were put there specifically because the nuclear family was considered desirable for the expansion of the economy. That’s clearly documented historical fact.

So yeah, the modern cultural obsession with the romance is a symptom of collective emotional disorder, and it chugs along at the expense of the more complex emotional support infrastructures most of us need and deserve.

It’s not just about me wanting representation, wanting an image in the narratives of my culture where I can see myself with the potential for happiness. Everyone needs this. We learn so much about how to be, how to relate to others, from media at this point, since the school system and other weird age-hierarchy stuff keeps us largely segregated from human society for a majority of our growing years and limits our exposure to live examples.

So the paucity of in-depth explorations of friendship, of mutual support, of widespread narrative acceptance that you can have a good life without a romance as its central support pillar, is harmful to people in general.

-

It’s funny, I get frustrated about this periodically, when a piece of media lets me down, or even when I’m following along a funny piece of meta and then the punchline is ‘and the ace character is obviously in denial about how they’re already dating their favorite person’ or whatever.

(The meta is annoying on a surface level and distressing on a deeper level because it’s a threat; so many times a good platonic relationship will buckle under public pressure and it doesn’t matter how asexual, how uninterested in romance, how emphatically platonic the affection has been established as being, The Romance arrives in the next installment of the story because it’s what people expect. Which reinforces the general perception that any other love is illegitimate, lesser, and as soon as it’s meant to be taken seriously it has to be crammed into that one valid shape, and invalidates future insistences in the same mode.

Seriously people stop doing this, we long since reached the point where a character saying in words ‘I have no romantic interest in [person]’ is perceived as a glaring neon sign that they’re destined to get together and that does not do good things for fostering a culture of consent. Obviously people are in denial sometimes but it should not be understood to be the rule.)

But I don’t get upset about it until someone starts in with reasons I’m bad and wrong for not liking these norms.

Like, whatever, media does not cater to my needs, I’ll cope, but when people start trying to get in my head and make me not only responsible for my own discomfort that I’m managing thanks but dishonest and malevolent I...get upset. There’s history there, okay.

‘You don’t care about this ship because you’re homophobic’ ‘you don’t want a love interest in the sequel because you’re racist’ ‘you don’t like romance in stories because you’re a misogynist’ fucking stop.

And occasionally it’s like ‘i guess you have the right to feel that way but how dare you talk about it where other people might hear’ which...well, is particularly common and particularly ironic in the context of people hung up on gay representation.

If we as a society had a healthy relationship with romance, there wouldn’t be negative side effects to that crowd’s pursuit of their worthy goal of applying that schema in places it has been Forbidden, but as it is we don’t, and there are.

#aromanticism #romance #society #social constructs #i throw salt #on a related note #i know The Untamed was Ambiguous because of censorship #but i was still enjoying not being able to tell dammit #you can ALWAYS tell normally #and that's so boring #people complain less about getting fake foreshadowing about who the murderer was than about not knowing who's interested in who #and who has a real shot with their target #being forced to be ambiguous was making those actors bring their A game #so i still wish i could have watched it play out without spoilers #because it's SO RARE that you can't immediately tell which way a story intends itself to be read on that front #and it was such a nice change #and i have legitimately cried several times over the loss of the joy i was getting out of that relationship not being so fucking dull #because like it's still fun and well done and stuff but it's not INTERESTING #i didn't even realize how much i was missing that until i briefly had it and it was taken away #so now i get sad a lot when i think about it #and it sucks that the forms for including romance in our media are so formalized #that the only way to get that realistic unclear coalescence of emotional energies #is by writing a romance and being forced to lie about it #a nonny mouse #ask #hoc est meum

[haggendazs-dispersion]

Yelling is Bad for my Health

Don’t judge me and my ships okay?? I know their weird! Anyway, I’m just gonna spam post all my oneshots so their here, then make a master list of them all, then figure out how to link that in my bio! I honestly have no idea what I’m doing on here because I may read a lot on here, I don’t actually post a lot myself... I’m so lost all the time. I’ll look stuff up later.

Also on AO3, Wattpad, Quotev, and Fanfic.net.

Ship: ThomasxVirgil (ThVi)

AU: None

Warnings: Yelling, harsh words, anxiety attack

Requested By: No One

Plot: When Virgil kicks in and is his anxious self about Thomas possibly telling a crush he likes him, Roman and Logan get angry and send Virgil into an anxiety attack.

~♧◇♡♤~♧◇♡♤~♧◇♡♤~

"Look, all I'm saying is you don't know if he likes you. I'm just trying to save you from possible heartbreak." And the impossible to ignore the fact that I like you for some godforsaken reason. Virgil had tried to ignore it for a long time now, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore that he liked his host in a more than platonic way. He couldn't decide why or when it happened, but he just realized it one day, and he was determined that the universe hated him and wanted to make his life miserable. First, no one liked him at all, then he had to fall for the one person he could never have in a million years.

Roman's laugh broke him out of his trance. "Save him from heartbreak? Jon obviously likes him back! There would be no heartbreak!"

"But does he like him as more than a friend? Platonic love and romantic love are two very different things."

"Look, I-"

Thomas held up a hand, speaking up over Roman. "He's right, I don't know what I was thinking. I don't think V-Jon likes me back." He walked off up the stairs, past Virgil, and into his room, shutting the door softly behind him.

"I'm gonna go check on him," and Patton too went up the stairs, leaving Virgil with a fuming Roman and an annoyed looking Logan.

Roman was suddenly in his face, backing him into the wall. "What is wrong with you?! You can't even let he have this?! You couldn't even let him be happy for once?! Even after all the shit we've been dealing with after the guys and dolls incident, and he is finally ready to move on and be happy again, you just can't let him!"

"I- I wasn't trying to-”

"Weren't trying to what? Leave Thomas unhappy?! Make Thomas to anxious to approach his crush?! Because that's exactly what it seems to be what you were trying to do!"

Then Logan butted in, "he isn't wrong. You were blatantly trying to stop Thomas from telling Jon that he liked him, by any means necessary. If I didn't know better, I would say you liked Thomas yourself." Virgil's face burned bright red at Logan's words and the other two realized Logan was right.

"What is wrong with you?! He is the host! He is basically us! We are facets of his personality! He doesn't even like you back! He likes Jon! And now, because of your stupid feelings, you can't let Thomas be happy! You upset him and now he is up there possibly crying or something because of you!" Roman yelled. Virgil could feel the attack coming, he was already freaking out on his own about his feelings, but to have someone else confirm it made it worse.

Logan shook his head, "I don't understand. If you already know that there is no chance of Thomas returning your feelings, why do you continue to pursue him? Roman isn't wrong, Thomas likes Jon and not you, he told us he likes Jon. You know for a fact that Thomas does not return your strange feelings. So, in the end, why do they matter? Why would you not put aside your feelings for Thomas's sake?"

Then the attack set in. In seconds, he couldn't breathe, the room began to spin, he felt hot and cold at the same time, tears began to rapidly fall as his thoughts ran a million miles a second. He couldn't figure out why this set himself off so easily, he had known for a long time that Thomas would never accept his feelings, nor return them, it was why he never said anything in the first place. Maybe it was the fact that it was being thrown in his face, maybe it was the reminder that his feelings were and always would be invalid, maybe it was the reminder that he is the problem. There were a lot of things, and they just kept coming as Logan and Roman went on and on, seeming not to see Virgil's panicked state.

In reality, the second Virgil began to have an attack, was when Logan and Roman stopped. They weren't saying anything, because they realized they had made a mistake. A few seconds passed and they were trying to calm Virgil down, trying to bring him out of the attack, but he couldn't seem to hear them. Suddenly, he began to scream, his hands going to his ears, eyes scrunching shut. They looked to each other worriedly, unsure of what to do. Then Patton and Thomas came running down the stairs.

~♧◇♡♤~

Thomas was sat on his bed when Patton came in. Patton sat next to Thomas and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Look, I know Virgil means well, he only wants to protect you, we all do. But I say tell Jon you like him, even if he doesn't like you back, at least you will know."

"Gosh! I am so sick of this! I don't like Jon! I never liked Jon! I just said I liked Jon because I didn't want to tell you guys that I like Virgil because that's weird! He's part of my personality! He would think I'm weird for liking him!" Suddenly, Thomas froze in place, standing rather than sitting because somewhere during his small rant he had begun to pace, but he wasn't focused on that, he was focused on Patton's shocked face. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to tell you in that way, or tell you at all actually! I know I'm weird and disgusting and you probably hate me now."

"No, no, goodness no! Kiddo, I don't mind at all! I actually think it's pretty adorable!"

Thomas stared at the smiling Patton in shock. "Really?"

"Really!"

"Oh, thank god Pat! I was so afraid everyone would hate me! At least I have you!" Thomas walked back over to his original spot and collapsed into the hug Patton offered him, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. "I don't know what to do Pat. He's not going to like me back, I just know it."

"You don't know that Kiddo, for all you know he's liked you for a long time and has been hiding it for the same reasons. Besides, I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is looking. It's like he's looking at the world like he thinks you are his whole world."

"You really think so?"

"Of course! I wouldn't lie to you about this!"

That was when they heard it, Virgil screaming. The looked at each other before taking off down the stairs to find Roman and Logan trying to calm Virgil down from an anxiety attack. Thomas stood a few steps away as Patton ran forward, taking Virgil in his arms. When nothing he tried worked, he looked to Thomas.

Slowly, Thomas approached and took Virgil in his own arms, rocking him back and forth, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Eventually, he calmed down and Thomas smiled at him. "Thomas? When did you get here? I thought you went upstairs."

"I did, but then we heard you scream, so we came to see what was happening and you were having an attack, and when Patton couldn't calm you down, I tried, and here we are. Why were you having an attack?" Suddenly, Virgil looked down and Roman and Logan turned red and looked away as well.

Patton was up in a second scolding them. "You two caused this? Why would you do that? I can't leave you alone with him for two seconds! What did you do to cause this?"

"We sort of said his feelings were wrong and invalid and that he should ignore them. And might have mentioned that he was causing problems for Thomas and stuff like that." Roman muttered lowly, but in the silent room, it was loud enough that everyone could hear. "But we stopped the second the attack started. We knew we'd gone too far, we didn't mean to, I was just angry that he couldn't just let Thomas be happy with Jon because of his own selfish feelings and I let myself get out of hand."

"Wait, but. You didn't stop. I heard you guys, you kept going on and on and on and on. And I screamed? I don't understand..." Virgil looked between the other four in the room, hoping for an explanation.

"Ahh, it seems maybe in your panicked state, your mind made things up and blocked others out. The panic may have stressed you so much you were unable to discern reality from the distorted reality your mind made up. It could be why you heard us yelling at you even though we had stopped and why you didn't hear yourself scream." There was a moment as they all took in the information.

"I'm so sorry Virgil, I take back everything I said. Your feelings are extremely valid, and you don't cause problems you just trying to help. I am so sorry I let myself ever think such things, let alone say them." Roman blurted suddenly, face bright red with shame and embarrassment.

Logan spoke up then,"I too apologize deeply Virgil. I may not understand emotions and such, but that does not excuse my behavior or words towards you. I to take back my words."

Virgil sat up, out of Thomas's lap and shook his head. "No, it's okay. You were right, I should have ignored my own feelings for Thomas's sake. They're stupid anyway, it's why I didn't say anything in the first place. Thomas, if you truly like Jon, tell him."

Thomas made a decision right then and there. He decided he didn't care if anyone thought strangely of him, he didn't care if Virgil didn't actually return his feelings. He leaned forward and smashed his lips into Virgil's in a passionate kiss. Virgil gasped in shock but kissed back instantly. Patton himself cheered and the other two watched on in shock. When Thomas pulled away, he set his forehead on Virgil's, hands holding his cheeks, thumbs rubbing softly on his tear-stained skin and looked him in the eyes. "I love you, you clueless moron." Rather than responding in words, Virgil pulled Thomas into another kiss, and all three of the other traits cheered this time.

~♧◇♡♤~♧◇♡♤~♧◇♡♤~

#AnxietyxThomas #VirgilxThomas #thvi #Anxiety #Logic #Morality #Princey #ts anxiety #ts logic #ts morality #ts princey #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #ts logan #ts patton #ts roman #ts virgil #sanders sides #ts sides #nicowrites

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

so i had a huge crush on my best friend at the time like i wanted to kiss her and I had to hold her hand otherwise id feel empty and i think she kinda felt the same way like i loved her but idk as a friend or what? but i think girls r hot but i dont think im attracted to them sexually? like i feel like for girls i have to get really close to them but for boys im attracted sexually and romantically and it dosent necessary for a strong connection unlike for girls?

Thinking girls are hot and having a desire to kiss them can be considered sexual attraction. I mean... whether a kiss is sexual or “just” romantic or even “just” platonic aren’t clear cut lines. Some people might say kisses are a purely romantic thing, I’d say they can be anything depending on how the kisser and the kissed feel about each other.

Being bisexual doesn’t mean that the way you experience attraction has to feel exactly the same for every gender. It can feel differently both in quality and quantity. You and I have something in commen there because I also need more of a close connection with women until I actually think about wanting to have sex with them. I am attracted to their personality waaaay before my brain goes “waaaait a second! you actually wanna bang her!!!” With men it’s a very quick and easy “hot or not”-decision.

At least that’s what I described it as for a long time because the more comfortable I am getting with being bisexual the more freuqently and obviously I feel sexual attraction for women.

But even if it stays like this for you forever then that’s fine. You can still call yourself bisexual if you want to because as I said: You can experience attraction for different genders in different ways. It doesn’t invalidate being bisexual.

Maddie

#Anonymous

[turnsoutimlesbian]

I never truly liked anyone as a kid. All of my boy crushes I self-assigned because that’s what the other girls were doing: liking boys. To fit in with them, I told myself I did too.

It was a ripe mid-summer day and at age 12, I took up rummaging through my parent’s garage as my activity for the day. There was a box belonging to my dad full of old photos and papers, even a graduation cap. Then, something so taboo to my preteen eyes, I came across a 1995 Playboy magazine featuring nearly twenty-year-old Drew Barrymore. She had a little butterfly tattoo below her bellybutton. I had never seen a photo like this before. Something about her made me come back to that garage day after day. I didn’t do anything- I just looked. And kept looking.

There was a girl in school I was friends with. I thought she was beyond cool, and when I saw a Ludo sticker in her locker I, too, started listening to Ludo. I came to her house and drew on her bedroom walls as she showed me how to cut a mango properly (cut as close to the seed as possible, then cut your slice horizontally and vertically, not piercing the skin: then push inside-out). I was mystified by her presence. She hugged me and I got butterflies. Just like the butterfly I’ve been sneaking off to go see.

**It’s to be noted that both Drew Barrymore and this girl I had this youthful homo-platonic relationship with are attracted to women. Straight girls have never been my type.

With both my mother and my current compulsory heterosexual boy-crush being openly bisexual, it didn’t take long for me to accept my attraction to my own gender. But also being very aware of the realities of mainstream society, along with whispers at sleepovers about the girl in choir class not being invited because she liked girls, I knew I had to keep this to myself. I knew other people would think wrongly of me, but I had never thought negatively on my newfound attraction. I accepted myself immediately, albeit sadly not expressing it. (Who teaches young girls how to flirt with other girls? It’s not a common conversation among middle school cliques. At least not circa 2009. I had no idea now to even go about that).

It’s hard understanding not just your attraction to the same gender, but your lack of attraction to the gender you’re told you’re “supposed” to be attracted to. I had accepted liking girls and didn’t give a single thought to my supposed attraction to boys. Lesbian was an unattainable label.

Years pass, and I give excuses to being not attracted to guys my age, such as the result of being in a very committed relationship. Things did happened with girls, either unknowingly (as we had not blossomed in our own sexuality or gender to be aware it was gay to begin with), or without romantic attraction (kissing girls, but no spark). [Spoiler: demisexual]. Years prolong and I go through labels, passing right over the answer and going to many.. many others. If I couldn’t feel comfortable in a m/f relationship, maybe I was a boy sometimes? I was more comfortable being a boyfriend to a guy than his girlfriend. No, okay, still off. Oh, okay, demisexual? No [yes], I’m probably asexual [false]. Then. Maybe grey-ace. Okay... just towards men I’m asexual and girls I’m... not (hint: not really how being asexual works. Nor did I actually like men romantically, I was just making excuses). Nobody ever told me not liking guys was an option.

Now, asexual people exist. Bisexual people exist. Genderfluid boys exist. And I don’t want my temporary try-ons of these sexualities and genders to invalidate people who really are these identities. I simply was just trying to figure myself out, and just because it wasn’t a reality for me doesn’t mean it isn’t for someone else.

With thinking I was bi for some eight years, and some of the closest people in my life being bisexual, I hope to be the best ally I can be, and for people to know that just because I didn’t know myself well enough, doesn’t mean bisexuality is a stepping stone to coming out. It is a complete identity. (A good analogy I’ve heard is that it’s not a chocolate-vanilla twist: but strawberry. A whole and complete flavor).

Also, as most people who are LGBT+ know, but maybe not others, it’s a very common experience to be every LGBT label under the sun before finding yourself. Questioning is normal. Sometimes you might just know you’re lgbt but just not know the specifics. For me, finding the specifics was good. It’s not necessary for everyone, though.

Anyway,

In the midst of being on zoloft, being in the end of a relationship with a guy, and identifying as asexual, a past partner came out as a woman. The only person I had genuinely been attracted to. Our renewed sapphic friendship became gayer and gayer, and something to me became clearer and clearer: Lesbian.

It was on the internet that nobody had stated so simply to be before: anyone can be a lesbian. It wasn’t some unattainable thing like it had been before, and it was being used in a real human context. Not a throw away joke in a movie, not a whisper in a hallway, not a male sexualization fantasy. Real people just existing and using this identity. (Note to self: contact ex-step-aunt for being a subtle normalization of lesbianism as a child that went over my head).

I started reading about compulsory heterosexuality, something that affects all women, but specifically lesbians. I highly recommend briefing yourself on it.

It didn’t work out with said girl but I did understand myself better. I had never really been excited to this extent about my sexuality before. (To be noted, my relationship with my own gender was also becoming clearer, too, as my womanhood is completely intertwined with my lesbianism and cannot be separated. A nuance most understood by nonbinary lesbians, but I digress).

I was in a single-dating cycle for a year (layered with “not” dating.. again, said girl), with another long stretch of being single, and then my final re-download of tinder. A date! Different than the other dates. We shared milkshakes from a vegan food truck and talked way past nightfall. I saw her the very next day and we admired the stars together. I had never immediately been attracted to someone in my entire life, until now. This was also so... positive. No weird feelings, no guilt, and nothing unrequited. Mutual butterflies. Laughing like friends and kissing like lovers. I found her, I found her!

—

I think whatever label you are is whatever feels most freeing. If it feels constricting, it’s not for you. To me this has been the most freeing experience. I had a weird relationship with the idea of marriage (for me personally), and before would rather be a husband than ever have one. But now with absolute excitement in my heart, I can say that I will be a wife, and have a wife.

P.S. Kara, I know you’re not my wife yet and you’re still my fiancée, but I’m just so excited! It’s like how I called you babe (and saying ‘I love you’) in my head many times before ever saying it out loud. It’s always been a truth.

Kara, I’m in lesbians with you.

[kurokun46664]

Honest thoughts on Voltron; Allura racist? Caution: long ass essay lel.

Ok, here goes nothing (terribly sorry if my English is bad, its not my first language; its actually my fourth language). Voltron is one of my most favorite shows. Its characters are amazing, they are nuanced in skin color, personality, and interests. However, one thing I have noted after season 2, is the rising number of people accusing of Allura being racist.

I feel like her feelings were not entirely unfounded. I find it realistic by how the show treats and displays the effects of the war and its destruction. Allura fears the Galra for reasons justified. Imagine your father, your people, the things you have loved and relied on all gone because of war. And after 10,000 years nothing has improved, what the hell are you supposed to do or feel? How do you recover from this?

I find this similar to what happened in South Africa my home country. I am technically not black, I am Chinese but born in South Africa during 1994. Allura reminds me of the Africans, who after being oppressed by white people, they had a hard time overcoming their distrust, prejudice and fear of white people. Like heck, not everything is suddenly swell after years and years of trauma. It is one thing to end a regime of suppression and prejudice, and another thing to forgive and live along with your previous oppressors. However, the people of South Africa were able to overcome this barrier after both sides acknowledged the racism that was prevalent in their history, and strived to push forth South Africa into a new era of equality for the people. I felt that Allura reflected this sort of mentality where she had to synthesize the information given to her, she had to take her time to see past her own prejudices. This is such a real life example, I am proud of the show for depicting this. It isn’t something that makes us happy with Allura, yet it is a necessary process.

Similarly, I felt that the show didn’t really execute this section of the season that well. For example, when the other members of Voltron were present during Allura’s treatment of Keith, why did they not stop her or desist this antagonistic behavior? Intervention could have alleviated the emotional burden Keith was going through, and Allura could have reconciled with Keith faster. If Shiro, Lance and the others are such “good” people why did they not step in to help Allura figure this out? I kind of felt that they were only people spectating and being bystanders (they were like “whelp Allura hates Keith, oh wells”). Did they even try to comfort Keith during this process? Hunk did point out this discrimination but it was pretty superficial and left untouched afterwards. Keith isn’t one of my favorite characters (my heart belongs to Pidge, sorry but not sorry lel) but he does deserve some TLC and some damn support. Like bruh, Lance you had one job!! I am not into the shipping stuff, but the show could have better fleshed Lance out through this or something. Whether it is platonic or nonplatonic, this is more substantial than what has been so far depicted of Lance’s character. 

So please, I ask people to think about it more, and that they should not define/characterize Allura only by certain things and deem her unfit or troubling. Please don’t write her off like this. Allura does not deserve this erasure of her character, and her efforts/growth should not be ignored/invalidated. 

If people still don’t like her, fine, but don’t measure her by character standards instilled/regurgitated in some fandoms, fanfictions, and general literature/medium. She is not some lazily written, conventional, half-baked, “anime-esque,” mary-sue cesspool of an abomination. Moral absolutism is overrated and it destroys the essence of the whole picture. Characters will not always be perfect or overwhelmingly “good” people (shit is disgusting but it serves as fertilizer ya know, this is shitty analogy I know). Don’t romanticize her then become disappointed when she doesn’t do certain things you want her to do. 

Likewise, don’t treat her as that demonized or token female character who stands in the way of the gay couple’s love. Heterosexuality should not be seen as a threat to non-heteronormative love and the same goes for vice versa. She does not deserve to be relegated to this role. It’s such a gross over-simplification of her as a person. If it is anything, I view Shiro as a better suited romantic prospect for Allura, and I do support Lance and Keith as a potential couple to be realized in the future (not in that eroticized/romanticized way but because Lance and Keith are the way they are, and their rapport is hilarious; kind of like that compatibility you see in Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship from Steven Universe but a more spicy version). But it doesn’t mean I’d bash other people for what they like and prefer. My god the shipping war drama that goes around and around. 

Finally: Should prejudice be tolerated? No but please note that Allura overcomes this mentality by reaching out to Keith towards the end of this season. She made the choice to move past her negativity. Isn’t that something we should commend her for? 

#allura is not racist #voltron season 2 #space mom is growing #errr please don't attack me #your favorite character may not be perfect but you love them anyways #female characters can be complex too #klance #shallura #don't get it twisted #so ready for future seasons to come #my love for pidge is real

[wordswithoutaddress]

self-compassion —> men

I’ve learned to stop being so hard on myself—to give myself more grace, more self-compassion—this doesn’t mean that I don’t get to have self-accountability, but it does mean that I get to acknowledge the crucial role of context.

What does this mean for me? A variety of things.

One of the areas of my life that I’ve learned to apply this to is my relationships with men. I fully recognize that trustworthy, kind, tender, loving, and respectful men exist—hell, I have come to gain extremely meaningful, platonic relationships with incredible men. With that being said I think I also owe it to myself to take the time and space to recognize the painful and undesirable experiences that I have had with men. I owe it to myself to pay respects to the parts of me that were/are impacted by the hurt that I felt/feel.

Do I get to acknowledge my own shortcomings in my experiences with men? Yes. Do I get to take the easy pass of blaming men for everything and anything? No. But I do get to have self-compassion for the ways in which I chose to move forward from and with my pain.

You cannot tell a womxn to simply have grace for a man mistreating her. You cannot tell a womxn that it was just a one time event—that his actions in that one moment do not communicate something bigger. You cannot blame a womxn for having trust issues when her previous partners have cheated on her. You cannot tell a womxn that she is “just jealous” when her previous partners coveted other womxn, compared her to other womxn, and made (passively) negative comments about her body.

How can you tell a womxn that she “just” has to trust a new man her life (platonic, romantic, and/or intimate) when her past experiences emerge from the shadows like a familiar and unwelcome predator?

I had agreed to sex, I wanted this, this was me taking control of my body and sexuality. When I was more sober we agreed to protected sex—I was adamant about this. I did not want the risk of STIs/STDs and pregnancy. I remember becoming very intoxicated, slowly fading off into unconsciousness. He asked if he could slip the condom off, I refused repeatedly. Did it not feel good enough for him? Was my earlier ask of protected sex not good enough? He continued to ask. After a while it felt like too much energy to resist, I caved in to stop the talking. We continued. It felt good right? “I wanted to have sex,” I reminded myself. It was over before I knew it. He pulled out before he finished, thank God.

I gathered myself from the bed and my clothes from the floor. “Driving back home is gonna be so long, I couldn’t even imagine doing that right now,” he said, half sorry, half seeming to want me out so he could go to sleep. “I’ll walk you upstairs.” We hugged. He kissed me goodnight, giving me a playful squeeze and a cheeky side grin. I smiled and walked back to my car. I drove home, still pretty fucked up—but this was more than just the alcohol and weed. I felt weird but I didn’t have the words for why.

A couple of days later he asked to see me again. I had already felt the chemistry fading days ago. I had gotten worse at texting back. I wasn’t even gonna go to his house the other night but I wanted to know if the physical spark was really leaving.

He hit me up 2-3 times in the same week that followed that night. He eventually grew tired of my flip flopping. Doesn’t he know that I am not horny at 4:30am? Doesn’t he know that I’m tired? Doesn’t he know that I feel weird about Friday? I tried to message back with a sorry for seeing his messages and not replying. He had already unfriended and deleted me. I did leave him on read three messages in a row—maybe I just dropped the ball.

Soon we were strangers. A week later I was visited by a wave of anxiety, an irrational fear of pregnancy. He did pull out before he came right? I just...can’t remember clearly. What if there was pre-cum when he went in again unprotected?

November was a month of me sitting on my hands as anxiety sat on my chest.

Thanksgiving weekend I got my period. I had never been so excited to be PMSing.

The processing came later in waves—right before I fell asleep, first thing in the morning, on the bus, at work, when I was walking around a building. I couldn’t have been taken advantage of...could I? He was a good guy. A man of color. Well-loved by the creative community. Full of smiles and talent. The internal dissonance was HELL.

My journey of sexual and body liberation had been interrupted and tainted by another outside of my body, a man. I had set out to take ownership of what was rightfully mine and instead felt that I had those things TAKEN from me. After a difficult year of pain and rising through the mud by work of intentional healing, all of my strife seemed negated. Lost. Discounted. Thrown away.

How can you tell a womxn that she “just” has to trust a new man her life (platonic, romantic, and/or intimate) when her past experiences emerge from the shadows like a familiar and unwelcome predator?

Trust me when I say that I am trying to learn how to trust men in my romantic and intimate life, that I hope to be able to depend on a man in the future. Trust that I am doing the work to move through my past pain and experiences. I am learning how to have self-compassion as I continue to carry my burdens. Please do not interfere with my journey by offering your “helpful advice” and “well-meaning words” if you are not willing to extend to me the same compassion that I have identified as necessary for my growth and journey. The word “just” does not make my burdens feel lighter, but rather invalidates the weight that it imposes upon me and other womxn who share this common narrative.

I do not choose hatred of men, but I do choose compassion—a lens that gives me the time and space to figure out how to “just” trust again.