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btsandvmin · 2 years

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BTS&Vmin analysis pt. 3 - Problems with analysis of real people (part 1)

There are many things that make analysis of real people very difficult, and even more so from afar and when they would have reason to hide the things we try to make theories about. (Something I think being LGBTQ+ or in a relationship would likely entail for any BTS member.)

There are so many aspects to watching other people while not knowing them or being well-versed with where they come from that can make a huge difference. Imagine the language barriers, the cultural difference with intimacy, couple culture, fanservice, being an idol, Big Hit's stance, their families' views, LGBTQ+ politics, confucianism and Asian or Korean lifestyles etc. Every group also has their own norms and rules and BTS has been together and formed each other for years. Not to mention individual ideals and views and personalities which can vary a lot even between the members. There are so many factors that could make a difference on how a gay relationship within BTS could look like with parts we as "outsiders" can only try to comprehend and guess. Generalization and assumption is honestly going to shape most fans’ individual experience and interpretation.

Be critical. Question what people say, their reasons for saying it and remember how easily something can be interpreted differently by different people. Just because I love Vmin and see something as possible between them it doesn't mean I am an expert with the right answer.

Before I even start doing any analysis I want to mention some of the things that make trying to prove something about BTS as faraway spectators very difficult and what we need to remember as we consume anything fan-created or opinion related.

The topics I will go through for "Problems with analysis of real people" are:

Part 1 (this post)

Culture and individual differences

Keeping up appearances and the created image

Complexity of humans and situations

Screen time and perspective over time

Confirmation bias and Cognitive dissonance

Language

Part 2 (link to part 2)

Dating and unknown relationships

Internal and external relationship with being LGBTQ+

Social norms - What is romantic love?

PR, risk and shipping

Summary

Culture and individual differences

BTS are very different people, and also from a different culture than most of us who do analysis in English, so to begin with it will be difficult to even know how they view things, as a group as well as individually. In Korea the standards of how a relationship works can be very different, and on top of that we are talking about a possible idol LGBTQ+ couple which makes it even more complicated. There is no guarantee that they would have the same thoughts or definitions of things that you or I do. For example how they define relationships or what they would be ok or not ok with while being in one etc. Very personal opinions and views can always vary a lot and none of us making analysis know the members on such an intimate level that we can know these things. We can only guess.

This makes analysis difficult since it will always be based on my preconceptions of things. Like how a relationship would work or how a non straight couple would act or get handled by their company or other people around them. Even just small things like sharing a drink, some get excited about it simply because they see it as intimate behavior and that it shows how close certain members are. But in fact they might just not care (which I think is the case for some members as they have done it with more than one person). In the end we might think something is a big deal while they don’t even think about it. Because to us, based on our life and experience, it might be a big deal. Perspective and attaching certain meanings to things is going to be subjective, not objective, when talking about the members and various ships.

For example, let's talk about intimacy. If anyone has watched the show Queer Eye you will know the Fab5 guys are very affectionate and touchy with each other. Several of them are married, but they can still act in a rather flirty way with each other and do things like hold hands or sit in each other’s laps. Basically even though many might see physical intimacy or giving compliments etc. as something that will make a partner jealous that doesn't have to be the case. It's impossible for us to know if the BTS members are in a relationship and what they would be ok with doing with someone else even if they have a partner. We know that Hobi for example is very affectionate and even kisses all of maknae-line without much problem. So coming with the concept of extreme jealousy for something another member keeps doing comfortably seems weird to me. The two things just don't seem to match.

We also have to remember that BTS is a family at this point. Seven men who have grown up together and lived together for years. The foundation of their relationships are unusual to begin with and then add on the extreme idol lifestyle and it's almost impossible for us to really know how that would affect them.

We know Korea has a lot of skinship between male friends, and we know it’s normal to see it between idols, and we know that a lot of very intimate looking moments happen between several members. Adding values like “a couple wouldn’t do this” or “friends wouldn’t do that” is all based on your own experiences and preconceptions. It’s feeling-based, not fact-based.

In the end the differences between them and us that we don’t know about is a problem that will affect our views. Even if holding hands, showering together or sharing beds might look romantic or “too intimate” for friends to some and maybe “get in the way” of another ship, the members could have a completely different view formed by their own experiences and norms.

If some members act differently with each other compared to the rest of the group that can also be an individual difference and we shouldn’t assume “all Koreans” or “all of BTS” would feel, think or act the same.

It's too easy to misunderstand moments simply because we don't have the cultural knowledge at times. One good example with Vmin would be their selca with “matching couple pajamas", which is actually just them wearing their hotel yukatas that you basically get in any Japanese hotel.

Of course that doesn't take away the fact that they posted bed selcas together for Valentines. But one layer of this moment has been misunderstood by many and it happens all the time, and we might not even know it.

We need to be aware that we can’t say if something is what a couple would or wouldn’t do based on our own feelings about it. And that both the Korean culture, idol culture and group culture are going to make things a lot harder to interpret. Not to mention the individual thoughts and their personalities of course. All the members are very different, and that alone should show you that you can’t generalize a whole group or their dynamics between each other based on what might be common or on what makes sense to you.

Keeping up appearances and the created image

Most public figures, not the least idols, want to show the best sides of themselves. Personalities can clash and the members surely don't always get along, but that’s not an image they would want to present too openly. Sometimes idols’ personalities are partly decided and their personas can be partly played up. The same can apply for friendships and groups being close as that's an important part of the appeal with many idol groups. They have ways they want to be seen and work to have certain images come across even if they might not be completely true. It makes it more difficult to know what is real and what is image. We even have an example of JK saying in Break the silence that a lot of groups don’t get along as well as BTS.

We even have an example of JK saying in Break the silence that a lot of groups don’t get along as well as BTS.

Brand, image or persona. There is a private vs public version and like most people they have their professional face on when at work. All kinds of artists and influencers to varying degrees show who they are in the light that they want to be viewed. Actually it applies to all humans, though it is more crucial when you are in the spotlight and need a certain image to be upheld. I don't think this is as big of a problem with BTS as perhaps some other idol groups, as a part of their brand is about being geuine and trying to shatter some of the distance between persona and individual. Even so I think it needs to be considered that what we see is partly a managed picture of the boys.

Our circumstances always shape us and how we behave. This is particularly true in situations where you know you have to behave a certain way or even lie at times. Just like BTS likely have received media training they would be aware of what to present in front of other people and especially on camera. This can be seen in how they talk differently on camera or off camera and how they sometimes slip from formal to informal language without thinking about it. Some members are better at it than others as well. But in general we know there are many things they don't say or do and just like any person show a different side to themselves depending on the situation. To a certain degree of course, because faking something or holding something back are two very different things. And I will say that if there is one thing I believe it is that BTS are as genuine as they can be. I don’t think faking their personas to an extreme length is possible with the amount and sort of content we as fans receive over several years. For BTS part of their success is their genuine personalities and I think that even if they don’t show us everything the things they do show us are mostly honest to their core personalities.

We only have what we see, but what we see can still be incorrectly interpreted. Especially since we also don't know to what degree what we see is BTS in "work mode" and how much they put up a persona while doing their jobs as idols. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean a persona has to be fake. But we all usually have a different way to present ourselves depending on where we are or who we are with. All people naturally act differently in different situations. And the BTS we get to see is after all them at work in some sense. For example we know they hold back to not swear or that they might avoid answering straight when it comes to dating questions etc. It doesn't have to be a huge difference, but the point is we can't truly know as most of the time we only get to see them at work or in a situation where they are aware they are being watched.

However, BTS now is also very different from BTS during their debut. And I do think that time can have shaped them and who they are even now. Though how much would be impossible for me to know. Still, most idols go through intense training before debut and get advice depending on image. In fact some Kpop groups even get trained to tone down their masculinity and become softer. I am not saying all do this, but some do. In contrast I think BTS who was a hip hop group from the beginning has done this less, or even the opposite and tried to appear more masculine (in the start of their careers). My point is simply that there are images you want to show and portray in kpop that might differ a lot from your true self, but that this is a problem that BTS is trying to bring to light and get rid of as much as possible with their commentary about personas etc. Either way we should know that both from an individual choice or from a pressure to be a certain way by the industry standard BTS members could have shaped their personalities in the past, or perhaps even still do to some extent.

(Festa 2019)

We also have no idea how involved Big Hit would be when it comes to their images. I think it's probably a lot better compared to some other kpop groups and also that they have gotten more freedom as the years have passed and they have learned by being in the industry. But to some degree I am sure they still have rules to follow, even something small like how JK wasn't allowed to gain muscle before because Big Hit wanted him to have a youthful image. Or how Jin in the beginning was supposed to be the serious hyung. When they first started they weren't allowed to post to twitter without asking and checking first, but now they have more trust and freedom. But there are likely still rules they have agreed to follow and that they agree are just for their own good and PR purposes. It's just important to remember that we don't know the restrictions and how that would affect the members.

That being said the members can of course also possibly go against such restrictions on occasion, or simply slip up or forget at times, but again it's very difficult to know anything for sure. At times they could break these rules or suggestions, as Jin has even said he doesn’t listen to what the company says and does things like cut or color his own hair without thinking much about it. In comparison Yoongi years ago joked about suing Big Hit if his hair fell off due to coloring it too often. I think that BTS now are very close to who they are as people, though shaped to show the audience certain sides. It’s not about faking who they are, but rather highlighting the positive sides they already have over the more negative ones.

Like in this Run episode when Jimin got visibly annoyed/frustrated but likely held back because he was being filmed and instead tried to be amusing. It doesn't mean he is trying to decieve us or that he is lying, but it might not be a part of himself he wants to show, so he holds back a bit.

Basically there are a lot of small or big moments where I am sure the members (perhaps some more than others) are trying to keep up a certain appearance.

I imagine it might be similar with things like relationships that they might have but have reasons to not expose. They hold back and stay quiet because it's part of the image, not because they want to lie to their fans or are fake.

Fanservice is a part of this as well. It can be hard to know what is fanservice and what isn't. And it might be difficult to know if fanservice means something is fake. For me I think in the case of BTS at this point fanservice is something they do for fun. It's not explicitly fake but rather playing with it in a way they are comfortable with. But I do think a lot of the “tension” fans may feel between members on stage is meant to be there and is basically acting to some degree. Not that they do it to try and fool us or that it has to be completely fake, but because it’s playing and them having fun and basically like jokingly flirting without any intent behind it. They know fans like it and they probably find it fun too. There is no meaning, just the image of meaning. Have you ever jokingly flirted with a friend? I know I have, and we both know it isn’t serious. BTS is a group that is aware of fanservice and the fans even expect it in the idol industry, so why wouldn’t the ones who think it’s fun do it?

Fanservice basically makes judging moments more difficult because they can add on a pretend intention, but it doesn’t mean fanservice is automatically fake or bad. It can be forced on some idol groups for sure, which I think we saw in early BTS and in particular when in Japan. But at this point I think we can see that the ones who do fanservice initiate themselves and seem to do it because they think it’s fun and some members don’t even play along when the others might try to do something for fanservice. Yoongi is a perfect example of only allowing what he wants, when he wants it (x).

I see fanservice as teasing either each other or the fans, and though some cases might look very intimate or heated I personally think it’s too difficult to know what intentions lie behind it most of the time. We see actors fake tension and intent in movies all the time, so surely idols could play with it without it being real as well. They are after all often acting in these ways while being very aware they are on camera and seen by the fans.

And just to be clear, doing fanservice and a whole relationship being fanservice are two very different things, and I do not think any of the relationships in BTS are “fanservice” or fake.

In the end I just think the images of public figures in general can make it more difficult to do analysis as the images we are fed are at the very least partly controlled. That being said, there is a limit to how much and how consistently you can fake something, which is why while I do think their images are controlled, they are not fake.

Complexity of humans and situations

Humans like to apply reason and assume behavior and have our own predetermined ways to label something. It’s a psychological mechanism that leads to stereotyping or responding to different behaviors depending on how you have learned to react to them. But assuming someone’s reason for behavior is hard enough when it’s someone you know and is face to face with. We don’t get to see what happens to BTS on a certain day, if they have a cold, if they couldn’t sleep well, if they are getting hangry, if they feel stressed for one reason or another. If they have a sore body or feel uncomfortable or tired. And those are just some examples of things that can affect your mood and as such your behavior and reactions.

You can react annoyed with someone you love if you feel stressed or tired without it having anything to do with that person in particular. This leads to inconsistent behavior and if you think that X person usually reacts Y to a situation like Z there is the rest of the alphabet left that can possibly influence the reaction because we don’t have the whole formula, if that makes sense.

We don’t see how many people or what people are around them, and we have no way to compare two situations fairly since we often only have small pieces of the context. I see a lot of fans worry about the behaviors of the boys, but a lot of it I think is projection and likely blown out of proportion. There could be something wrong of course, but guessing why something is wrong is a lot harder to do. For shippers it’s also very common to hyper focus so much on the ship that everything or most things seem to happen because of that relationship.

We need to remember that BTS are not characters in a story where every scene has a purpose to show us something, they are humans that can have off days or great days that don't have to be tied to a certain relationship. They don’t always think about what they do and we often won’t be able to tell why they do or don’t do something in any particular moment.

We might see patterns, and we might see reactions and perceive certain feelings from them. I am not saying we don’t know anything about them or can’t see anything at all. Because most shippers do view these people very closely for a long time and might learn to recognize certain behaviors or actions. But again, it will always be difficult to determine anything specific and we need to be aware of all the complicated reasons there are that might play a part in the members’, Big Hit’s etc. behavior.

Even if we know for certain that one reaction is because of one thing in one example it doesn’t mean that reaction always means the same thing. Or that the reaction to that one thing will always be the same. We still don’t know these people personally, and we don’t get to see everything. Some things they hide from us and sometimes they might act weird. Sometimes we might sense their feelings or note their reactions. Some things might be obvious, like if Jimin keeps failing at a task and he gets more serious and shows signs of being annoyed it’s fair to assume he is annoyed because of failing the task. But maybe he is also getting tired or hungry or is affected by something else as well. This is easier because it only involves one person and a very straight forward action and reaction. But adding more people, other factors that we don’t know about and possibly even reasons to hide certain things will make it instantly more complex.

All members will have different dynamics, all we can do is speculate and guess why based on the little knowledge we might have, and even then it might be misinterpreted knowledge.

We can look at different reactions from different members, and how they might react differently depending on the person they are doing something with. But they can also act differently when doing the same things with the same person in different situations.

We can also look at similar behavior between the members, but how do we tell that one thing means more with one person than the next? How do we know that it "meaning more" even means it has to be a relationship?

How can we know for sure without using several exact comparisons in the same environments, with only the person being different, that the reason for the different behavior is because of the person and not something else? And without prior knowledge of how the people behave when in romantic relationships to compare with as well. We are only observing from afar and can’t control or even fully know the environment or circumstances. We can't treat similar situations between different ships (or even the same ship) the same, as if they were simulations for experiments. Because they won't be the same.

We are also talking about many people changing over time, and as such inconsistencies might be very natural and expected. No human will be the same they were at 18 as when 25, and even more so people who go through literally life changing things like BTS have. Even if we do find something we might consider patterns over time those might also have other explanations than what we might think. In the end what we have are moments that we put together to try and create some kind of whole picture. But assuming something has to mean something just because it happens a few times over many years can also be projecting. I do look at what I consider patterns, but most of them have some exceptions and are very irregular, and we need to keep in mind it really could be us over analyzing.

When it comes to doing analysis on a ship being real (or any other guesses on the reasons for their behavior) the purpose behind their behaviors should not be assumed as fact as it most of the time will be based on your interpretation of moments where we are missing the full context or enough knowledge to reach any credible conclusion.

Screen time and perspective over time

We also have to consider time. Even though the amount of content BTS creates is massive there are likely many hours they get filmed that we don't get to see after editing and filtering, and that is still just a fraction of their lives. None of them share much of their private time with us, and some barely even talk about it. It's their right to stay private but we need to remember that no matter how much they share there are far more things they don't share. Even just a normal day "at the office" will include a lot of time not in front of a camera or crowd. For example working on songs, meetings or other preparations, going to the gym, most of their dance practices, lessons (probably not as common anymore but you get the point) etc. There surely is a lot of time where they don't have to constantly remember there are cameras (though they are still at work so I am sure they still remain professional) and I think we need to remind ourselves to not act as if what we see is a complete picture.

Some members seem to seek out or play around for the cameras more, and I don't think it's strange we often see more of Jimin, Jin, Hobi and JK in things like Bangtan Bombs where there seems to be no requirement to "be interesting" or engaged but rather the camera is just there to film the members do what they do. If Namjoon and Yoongi like to sleep or Tae likes to sit with his phone it’s not like that would make for interesting footage. Sometimes the reasons for screen time being uneven is basically just based on what the members do and not some hidden agenda. I think fans tend to want to put reasons behind why their ship or bias doesn’t get shown as much, but in the end I think screen time is mostly based on what the members show and their personalities and choices to play or not, and not because of hidden agendas of pushing or hiding something.

I also want to mention the back and forth I see from all shippers as soon as there is a period with "less moments" or something happening that can be interpreted as negative. The amount of moments should not trump what the members directly say. The worst example to me is how people start to doubt Vmin are soulmates, or even close at all, based on a few weeks with less content. Often without even considering why there might be less content, like BTS not being active, ending up on different teams in Run or even award season being very different because of Corona. There can be many reasons for Vmin to not interact as much as we might have expected or hoped for. Our expectations not being met doesn’t mean there has to be something wrong. To read more you can check my posts Vmin - Dead or alive? and Vmin - Dead or alive? Are we still asking the same question?.

As for us as viewers we might also want to remember that we are keen to remember “bad or negative” things or feelings more. This can lead to us forgetting when we do get moments, because we need “big moments” that are very “loud” to make up for lack of moments or things we feel negatively about. Even if a shared smile or compliment should indicate there being nothing wrong between two people we will compare it to the hugs we got two months ago and wonder what changed, when likely nothing changed. There are still positive exchanges, they just aren’t as loud as we might want or expect.

We also have different types of memory bias, and that will affect how we remember things more or less and what kind of impression we get long term. How we remember things might not always line up with reality.

Negativity bias is one thing we should be aware of. As a person working in the news/media industry to me it’s very evident that bad news draws more attention and creates discussion. It gets talked about, we get more involved and we often think about negative things more frequently, which in turn makes them easier to remember. So being worried about Vmin will be a thought that we keep in our minds and get enforced by recalling all negative moments.

“Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive ones. Thus, we tend to ruminate more about unpleasant events — and use stronger words to describe them — than happy ones” (article, verified sources)

A recurring example to me is Vmin in 2017 and 2018, where I am still of the personal opinion that the negative change or falling out/drifting apart that so many in the fandom felt is highly exaggerated. I will use it as an example and list the things I think affected this image.

Vmin in 2016 was very loud and close. People will naturally compare Vmin after to Vmin before. So even if we do get plenty of moments in 2017-2018 it might not have felt as intense as 2016. But we have to remember the context of both these periods. In 2016 Vmin “got closer”, it was intense during the BST era, and we also know Jimin might have stayed extra close with Tae because of the struggles he went through.

2017-2018 was a difficult time for all members and they all had doubts and even considered disbandment. The rise to fame seemingly affected them a lot and in particular Yoongi and JK seemed to struggle, which is also why I think Jimin was very close to JK during this time, just like with Tae in 2016. It’s likely some members reacted badly and couldn’t hide their worry/sadness etc. and we saw them seem down and worried. It might have affected their dynamics and we might assume it must have to do with their relationship because that’s what we focus on.

Ji/kook getting closer gets interpreted as Vmin getting less close. Ji/kook being “louder” made us feel Vmin were “quiet” in comparison even if we still had a lot of moments. But the loudness of one relationship (which also gets highlighted more due to the amount of shippers) does not mean the members have abandoned one relationship for another and to me is a very toxic mindset that fans apply to BTS.

Because we tend to compare. We saw Vmin before and Vmin after as loud vs quiet instead of looking at the fact that we got good moments but perhaps just different moments than we were used to. We forgot to look at Vmin as people who changed, and BTS as a group seemed to go through a lot of changes as well. We just compared and counted the differences without thinking about why those differences might have happened. I saw a change in Vmin, yes, but I did not see a decline in closeness between them. In hindsight Vmin has also said they got closer and fought less. Being calmer is a change that could have been misread as being more distant.

Illusion-of-truth effect might also make us think something we hear a lot rings more true. So, when many people repeat that Vmin seems less close it will eventually start to sound more and more true. I saw this happen real time as worry based on small moments escalated to thinking they seemed cold towards each other and wondering if Vmin had a fight. Now it’s just a “fact” that Vmin 2017-2018 were less close, without actually considering the moments we got those years.

Of course there could have been something going on, or some of the negative moments might have been arguments between them. But I once again want to emphasize all the good moments that indicated the complete opposite and that two members having bad moments shouldn’t affect how we see them long term unless it stays consistent. And we got too many great moments from Vmin in 2017-2018 for me to see it as any long lasting change or drifting apart. Vmin called each other soulmates in 2017 and they still call each other soulmates in 2020, that’s the perspective we should focus on.

Something called the “isolation effect” might also be at fault here, and kind of ties together with how much Vmin’s behavior over time gets normalized. Meaning when we are used to seeing something we are less likely to remember it. So, let’s say we see Vmin hold hands on the regular, we might not register it as a big deal after seeing it enough times and thus the impact of the moment lessens and we are less likely to remember it. But then at least I urge you all to recall the huge moments we had with Vmin in 2017-2018 (like Bon Voyage) that on their own should be enough to stop the doubt that they were not close anymore.

For me, keeping track and doing collections like my throwback posts makes it difficult to say with confidence that Vmin actually seemed less close or loud in those years, because in fact they had some really great moments that showed their bond being stronger than ever.

I also think recency bias makes us so quickly forget the moments we actually have gotten. We tend to put more importance on recent events and as such forget the good in the past if we feel there is a more quiet or in some way negatively perceived period. In combination with needing a moment to stand out or be big to remember it, when we get a more quiet period with “smaller moments” we suddenly start to worry.

If we look at a year from afar and see we “only got 4 moments in march” and then “but we got 20 moments in january” we need to realize the many reasons that could affect the amount. For example, how many activities does BTS have in general, is it during a tour or award season, are all members quiet and we watch mostly old material come out? Do they have reasons for not interacting much like choreo or ending up on different teams in Run? Not to mention all the other factors that can affect the members, like if they are tired or stressed or focused etc. Something I have noted is that it seems the first concert day it’s less likely to get ship moments, possibly because the members are more focused on doing it well and might be more likely to let loose and play a little on the second day. A lot of the time it seems lack of moments might be circumstantial, and that when we do get moments we don’t feel are big enough we ignore the ones we did get.

During the years I keep getting asks like “Vmin seem distant lately”, “Vmin seem so loud lately” or “what do you think is up with Vmin” and honestly the fact that these questions come with little time in between them (sometimes only a day apart) and constantly back and forth over years, says to me that we should not focus too much on it. It doesn’t say much,and even if there might be something to it there might be many reasons beyond two people drifting apart or getting closer. I don’t think Vmin go from soulmates to distant colleagues in the span of weeks or months, because by now there is enough stability in their relationship for me to not get worried. They keep showing us or even telling us how close they are, and even if there are months between when they express it explicitly it doesn’t change that is how they feel.

We need to remember that often content is also out of order, so even when we get little content one week the same week can later prove to have great moments in a Run episode only posted months later, and that’s very difficult to keep track of. We also have examples of moments being edited in one clip but then being shown in another clip from the same time, so I think we need to be careful with only noting editing in a way that fits our narrative. For example discrimination in screen time or only cutting away certain ships. (This is about “natural content” and not for things like MV screen time etc.)

Lastly, the amount of material BTS provides is so much it's very difficult for any one person to take it all in. I still find new moments from time to time myself and we are talking about literal years of material of different kinds. We have shows like Bon Voyage/Run/BTS Gayo, other videos like Bangtan Bombs/Memories/Concert dvds/Burn the stage etc, interviews, vlives, tweets/fancafe posts, written interviews, fan cameras, staff comments/behind the scenes etc. just to mention some of the basics. Have you or the person who's analysis you consume watched and remembered everything about every BTS interaction they might need to properly come to any fair conclusions?

A lot of new fans seem to jump into shipping without even learning some basics. And once there do they watch everything? Or do they focus on ship moments? For me a lot of antis seem to fall into this category as they make claims that simply aren't true, likely because they haven't even noticed or seen some of the smaller or more obscure moments. A lot of fans don't read every interview, see every post it answers from fansigns or watch every vlive, and even if they have it's basically impossible to remember everything. For example, I have watched every BTS vlive there is but I won't be able to remember everything that was said in every single one. But I do know of small moments where Vmin mentions each other that clearly aren't played up or something they would fake to make people believe they are closer than they seem. In the end the amount of times Taehyung and Jimin speak of each other, the amount of times others speak of them and all the small moments spread out over years should be enough to trust their bond. It's impossible to pretend and lie to that level for so long, if Vmin hated each other it's much more likely they would rather stay quiet than subtly gush about each other in small ways most fans won't even pick up on. But due to focusing on what they already believe and not seeing a lot of the subtle nuances and mentions we still have many who believe Vmin to be fake. Or Vminies worrying something might have been off between them at some point. This is why small moments matter too.

So remember that we don’t see everything. We tend to focus on the negative. We get affected by the common rhetoric passed around and we easily forget past events, in particular if they don’t stand out or if we feel they get overshadowed by something negative or compare it to something we think is better.

Confirmation bias and Cognitive dissonance

I want to start with saying that I am no expert in these subjects and only use them because I think they fit into how I see shippers act and contribute to some of the problems with doing analysis or being convinced of a ship being better or real. If I get something wrong I apologize and I urge everyone who reads to remember this is not all facts, but rather a theory of mine when it comes to shipping and how it affects us.

I also want to talk about these two psychological phenomenons because I think many might struggle with this, maybe even feel bad about shipping, and being aware might help you. I know it has helped me in many things, not just with shipping. Even if being aware doesn’t completely stop me from still experiencing and being affected by both confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance (and the defensiveness it causes) it has still made me more open minded and skeptical. I make sure to remain skeptical not just towards other people’s ideas but my own as well, especially when it comes to shipping since we rarely have anything but interpretations to back up our theories.

I often talk about confirmation bias, but to make it clear I am going to quote the explanation from Wikipedia so you can read it for yourself if you want a clearer picture.

Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one's prior beliefs or values.[1] People display this bias when they select information that supports their views, ignoring contrary information, or when they interpret ambiguous evidence as supporting their existing attitudes. The effect is strongest for desired outcomes, for emotionally charged issues, and for deeply entrenched beliefs. Confirmation bias cannot be eliminated entirely, but it can be managed, for example, by education and training in critical thinking skills.

Confirmation bias is a broad construct covering a number of explanations. Biased search for information, biased interpretation of this information, and biased memory recall, have been invoked to explain four specific effects: 1) attitude polarization (when a disagreement becomes more extreme even though the different parties are exposed to the same evidence); 2) belief perseverance (when beliefs persist after the evidence for them is shown to be false); 3) the irrational primacy effect (a greater reliance on information encountered early in a series); and 4) illusory correlation (when people falsely perceive an association between two events or situations).

All humans have this tendency and even if we are aware it can be very difficult to avoid. I know I have it for sure in regards to Vmin, so I would rather be open about it so I don’t end up fooling others to blindly believe my views which are without a doubt affected by my bias. Not to mention the bias you as a reader might have for or against what I am talking about, for example Vmin possibly being real.

I also want to talk about cognitive dissonance, and why I think it matters so much when it comes to shipping. Like I said I honestly don’t know any actual research that talks about it in regards to shipping, but I personally recognize the reactions and responses in shippers (as in many other fields of discussions regarding beliefs), and think this might be helpful.

I can in short describe this psychological occurrence with it being the feeling of being unsure and feeling emotional distress when you end up between two beliefs/views/actions/ideas that contradict each other, and that trying to avoid this bad feeling can lead to either denying or including new ideas. Basically one defense to avoid feeling cognitive dissonance is one of the reasons for “Humanity’s inability to accept truths that clash against core beliefs even after new evidence is exhibited.”. Essentially the reason for why we are so keen to believe what we want to believe even when proof can exist to show otherwise.

This is something every human experiences and is affected by in almost all areas of life as it applies both in discussions and internally when met with new information. I have spoken about it a lot but not in these terms but rather as shipping behavior I have noted. And I think it’s important enough to repeat at least quickly one more time. I think feeling dissonance is very important as it means you are aware and open to change. But if it affects you in a very negative way it might lead to denying the things that are telling you to change to protect something that is important to you.

I am just going to quote wikipedia directly on cognitive dissonance, and I think many of you might recognize the feelings and behaviors. All humans do this, and I certainly have when it comes to shipping in particular as well.

In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance occurs when a person holds contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values, and is typically experienced as psychological stress when they participate in an action that goes against one or more of them. According to this theory, when two actions or ideas are not psychologically consistent with each other, people do all in their power to change them until they become consistent.[1] The discomfort is triggered by the person's belief clashing with new information perceived, wherein they try to find a way to resolve the contradiction to reduce their discomfort.[1][2]

In A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance (1957), Leon Festinger proposed that human beings strive for internal psychological consistency to function mentally in the real world. A person who experiences internal inconsistency tends to become psychologically uncomfortable and is motivated to reduce the cognitive dissonance. They tend to make changes to justify the stressful behavior, either by adding new parts to the cognition causing the psychological dissonance (rationalization) or by avoiding circumstances and contradictory information likely to increase the magnitude of the cognitive dissonance (confirmation bias).[2]

Coping with the nuances of contradictory ideas or experiences is mentally stressful. It requires energy and effort to sit with those seemingly opposite things that all seem true. Festinger argued that some people would inevitably resolve dissonance by blindly believing whatever they wanted to believe.

This is a big part why people can believe in illogical things despite being very intelligent. Especially if that belief gives us something positive and we want to protect that positive feeling. We are basically programmed to bend things we don’t like into making sense in our own way. If I see signs of other ships being real, they might even be felt physically through stress if it has gone far enough and we are so concerned with having our view confirmed it makes us experience cognitive dissonance. If I feel stressed about something going against what I believe I might in turn try to solve this by rationalizing and coming up with good reasons why my idea still makes sense and the contradicting idea or view doesn’t, or just bluntly ignore anything that goes against my beliefs.

I will add this video with a short explanation on it to hopefully make you see what I am trying to say and why I think it matters and can be applied to shipping.

(42) Why It's So Hard to Admit You're Wrong | Cognitive Dissonance - YouTube

As a shipper my actions are all directed towards creating content and advocating for Vmin, I invest time and emotions into the idea of Vmin as something beyond platonic. If it starts to go beyond just enjoying the idea, I might feel my views and actions threatened if I see something that “goes against Vmin”. And to ease that dissonance created by something challenging my views I would react to make the unpleasant feeling go away. Because feeling dissonance also causes stress it’s not unusual for it to manifest in defensive or even aggressive behavior, often either attacking the conflicting matter presented to you or completely denying it, because you feel your beliefs/ideas/actions being threatened.

Basically in shipping I think it might be when ideas we have and new information we come across (sometimes real facts and sometimes just theories) clash that we feel this emotional stress. When we want to say “this is the truth” but also feel reasonable doubt telling us “but maybe it isn’t the truth.”

For me, I would just like to add that the way I deal with this is by staying open minded and by holding on to that how much Vmin love each other has nothing to do with their relationship status. This is why I say I don’t need Vmin to be real, and why we all probably shouldn’t get too attached to our ideas or wishes being right.

I remember thinking that it was very weird that Jimin and Taehyung wouldn’t communicate during the break in 2019 and this went so against my previous beliefs I tried to justify it, “maybe they lied and they were together, maybe they aren’t as close as I think, maybe they had some specific reason not to be together”, bouncing around various ideas trying to find an answer I won’t find. Until I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter, Vmin can still be close even if they didn’t meet up or talk for a month and I can’t know the reason anyways. I decided to trust them and move on with changed beliefs.

Also I would like to say that to me it also helps having a line drawn for when something no longer will be ok for me if my beliefs are directly proved to be wrong. And the only information that could make me stop loving and enjoying Vmin’s bond is if it proves to not be genuine or drastically played up. Because that would mean that BTS and Vmin have straight out lied to me, and that’s just going to make me completely abandon the trust and respect I have for them. “Vmin are soulmates” and all that it implies is something I believe, not something I speculate about. It’s a belief I have because they have told me themselves about it. Unlike the possibility of a ship being together in real life, which is all based on my own ideas and interpretation. However, if I somehow got that belief of Vmin being soulmates proved wrong, I would definitely feel hurt and move on and away from BTS.

I'd like to recommend this video where they speak about the signs for cognitive dissonance when having a discussion so you might be able to more easily recognize them in others and more importantly in yourself. Again I want to point out this is not something definitely proven to happen in shipping, but something I personally think is one of the reasons behind many shippers’ behavior. I also can’t speak for accuracy as I am not an expert in this subject myself.

(42) How To Argue With Someone Who Won’t Listen - YouTube

A very common reaction to avoid feeling cognitive dissonance is a resistance to change, as mentioned in the first video. Especially if changing might lead to leaving behind something positive or going through something negative. I will include a screenshot from the first video to remind you why the thought of your ship not being real or being “lesser” than another ship might affect you so much.

We feel emotionally attached to Vmin as a romantic couple. It’s an idea we love and get joy from. Having that idea taken from us or threatened, even if we do know it’s not real, might make us feel sad. Furthermore we might try to protect ourselves from feeling stress by selective exposure, meaning we only choose to listen to information from sources that we are inclined to agree with. We seek out people who think and feel similar to us. It shows we are less likely to be wrong and has good reason for our feelings and thoughts about whatever it might be. So, shipping communities and material become a source of comfort that enhances our feelings of being in the right “camp”.

I also think this is tied to confirmation bias, which soothes this emotional stress by enhancing our feeling of something being more important or correct if we want it to be.

We use our collective imagination to fill in the gaps and explain why our reality is the most likely reality, and often try to downplay or undercut the logic in contradicting narratives. Or sometimes even attacking the people who construct the opposing ideas and rationalize why they are more likely to be wrong, for example by assuming they are “younger, dumber, don’t know relationships” etc. We create a us vs them feeling. If we get a negative view it might affect our reactions towards a group and they might in return get defensive and back and forth it gets enhanced. Which is why I want to warn against generalizing, as every person doesn’t have to have the same thoughts or feelings about everything even within a community. This is why while we can see some common things with some groups it’s better to judge people based on individual behavior.

Even more so when social media might only show us the loudest views and we often tend to highlight the bad which might skew our views based on the things we see and share. For example “look how dumb this argument is” using a truly dumb argument to make all other arguments on the same topic feel less relevant as well. Meanwhile we might in comparison highlight the good in our own community.

This then gets agreed upon and expanded upon by many other shippers who specifically seek out similar opinions they agree with, because we want confirmation that our way of thinking makes sense. And thus an echo chamber of similar opinion is created that keeps on reaffirming your narrative until it’s almost impossible to deny anymore. There is no specific shipping group that has this more than others if we look at individual traits, because people of all kinds ship different ships for different reasons. We all have different preferences, and the only real differences between what might affect how a group acts are size of the group and narratives, which can affect their behavior in various ways. For example I feel like I do see more toxic behavior from tae/kookers, but I think their narrative of “being hidden” gives room to create more lies and base more things on speculation. If they already think BTS can hide and lie so much about one thing it’s easier to accept more and more lies after that. Some which might get very toxic for the sake of removing threats in the form of other obviously strong relationships in the group. It’s not about what kind of person the tae/kooker is, but rather how the narrative allows for more logical leaps. But again, this does not automatically mean it applies to all tae/kookers or whatever group we might talk about.

The problem with shipping and perhaps even more so in shipping real people, is that we don't have anything that can definitely prove if we are right or wrong. At least not something strong enough to convince a majority and make it common knowledge, like you can with science for example. All we can do is watch and trust the members and apply our own logic and thus take logical leaps to arrive at our conclusions. But different fans will have different views and it ends up with my logic vs their logic. Often neither side can provide unquestionable evidence and thus we come up with the most likely scenario based on what we see in combination with our preconceptions and biases.

I am a hypocrite here, because I know I do almost all of these things myself. Even in this analysis I am writing I am affected by it. Even being aware might not stop it from happening, that’s how strong it is, but I hope that it might at least help a little.

Long time exposure to the same opinions might slowly change the way you see things and you might not even notice it. It often has little to do with your intelligence and I think ideally we should all be able to expose ourselves to all kinds of ideas and discussions, being aware that having different opinions or views is okay. We just need to remember that there is a difference between facts and opinions. And if you are wrong you will end up getting hurt if you are too attached to your own interpretations or ideas.

I have to remind myself of my theories being theories all the time because I know how strong the psychological reactions in my brain can be in persuading me. Once again, humans all believe contradicting things with similar conviction, and there are compelling arguments made for opposing sides. Don't convince yourself you definitely have the answer in a situation where none of us can know what reality may be.

There are believers of all ships for their own reasons. Don't try to explain why your own ship is superior and is "real", because we all have flaws no matter what ship we may focus on. If someone says "they don't ship/believe my ship because they don't know everything about my ship" that also applies to that person. It applies to every single one of us to various degrees.

All I can say is try to always remain skeptical, open minded and ready to be proven wrong.

It's also so important to remember to find credible sources. A lot of things are hearsay that end up being accepted as facts simply because so many people say them and agree with them.

Shippers and believers often spread interpretation as facts. It doesn't even have to be done so originally but as many others agree and talk about the same thing it becomes an accepted fact amongst the community. Basically a lot of these shippers or believers don't seek information and facts but rather end up searching for and finding echo chambers where people agree with them and they get constant confirmation of what they believe in from others that believe the same thing.

This is very harmful and difficult to stop once started since fact checking everything isn't exactly easy. Especially when it comes to old moments. Even though I try to be careful, I may have the wrong idea or have been fooled by something spread as a fact. I have also seen others talk about things I have brought up as definitely true even when I always try to point out it's just my views and thoughts. Basically a lot of these analysts and how their followers react and spread information has normalized the use of misinformation to further your agenda.

This is by no means something just happening with shipping, but it is a huge problem when a lot of analyses are even based on things that simply aren't true. But sometimes they have been talked about so much people believe them to be. For example I would say "jealous JK" or "Vmin aren't as close anymore" are usually narratives pushed by using misinterpreted moments building up to a picture that isn't as obvious as many think. Even things like "Vmin knew each other first, since high school" is an incorrect assumption that has spread as fact to some parts of the fandom. Shipping analyses are usually not pure facts, even if you agree with them. They should hopefully be based on facts but they are always going to be subjective and full of the person's interpretations and that includes mistakes as well.

I also would like to point out that in a lot of ways shipping turning into believing seems to work in a similar way as conspiracy theories. I wrote a post on this subject (Can shipping turn into conspiracy theories? ) and one thing I think is important to remember is that once someone has already fallen for a shipping theory and gone down the rabbit hole it will be much harder to reason with them or make them think differently. Of course this goes for all shippers to various degrees, but trying to come to them with facts might make no difference at all if someone already has a firm belief.

We all have our own thoughts and ideas, and there is nothing wrong with that. Let’s just remember that what we might think or theorize about doesn’t have to allign with reality even if our brains might want us to think so.

Language

I have a few different things I think we should keep in mind as we consume both material from BTS, from fans and when we come across analysis (no matter format) in regards to language.

1. First it's of course the language barrier we all have as fans who don't speak Korean and how we have to trust translations and can easily miss or misinterpret moments. We have to trust others and sometimes those who translate might even have an agenda we can't be sure of. But I want to tell you that despite translations sometimes being misleading we should not assume Big Hit has an agenda and is doing it on purpose. Especially if the material if viewed by a Korean will still include the moment we might feel is on purpose misrepresented.

2. Secondly we have our own values on words. For example, what is fanservice or what do we think of when we hear “chingu” or soulmate. Do we have a negative, positive or neutral association to a word? Maybe we think “chingu” sounds very casual or distant, but Vmin on the other hand has a different attachment to the word and between them it doesn’t mean the same as when used with others. We can't know what others might think about a word or expression and shouldn't assume it's the same as what you think.

As an example I don’t see fanservice as something negative so I won’t react badly to hearing Vmin does fanservice, while someone else might react differently and even feel offended. I know that for many it has an equal meaning to fake. But for me I rather think that there are different types of fanservice, some which might be forced and seem fake and some which are simply there for fun and that the members initiate because they want to. The attachment to the word is neutral to me and I judge depending on what the moment might be, while others might see the word itself as something negative.

I once had a discussion about what “platonic” means and when it should be used with a person who had a very different meaning attached to the word. Basically, we all already put different values and meanings into words or expressions based on our perspective. But that can in turn make you assume everyone has the same idea of what a word means, when that doesn’t have to be the case at all. So, in the case of shipping analyses it gets complicated, because first I might misunderstand the original words and moment, then I talk about it and then the one reading what I said might also misunderstand what I meant and so on. And there is not always an easy way to ask or confirm what the original intent might be.

3. Thirdly, the nuance of a word in its context or how the user applies it. For example BTS are all incredibly close and we may see all kinds of speech patterns and words used by them in ways that might not even be the norm in Korea. Friends who have been together for a long time may develop their own ways to communicate. To use an example, some friends casually say things like "she's my bitch" without meaning anything bad. Using what is an insult to some might be an endearment to others. All dynamics within BTS and the way they speak to each other is too much influenced by their closeness, the fact that they are both friends and colleagues and the fact that they have both professional and private relationships where their language can be different.

My own idea of how to use a word and the feelings a word evokes might not be the same as theirs. On top of that the translation might make the choice of word come off in a different way as well.

For example, when doing my analysis of Let's BTS and Jimin's comment "this is dangerous" as a reaction to Taehyung's note, I felt that was very strong. What does he mean "dangerous"? But it's also possible he uses the word in an exaggerated way and to me it just feels too strong based on how I would use the word.

Korean is on it's own a very complex language with it's varying degrees of formality, and when it's used, or between who, can also vary a lot. We as outsiders can't always know the feelings or intentions even if we may apply the normal uses of the words. A lot of things can be lost in translation, and as non native speakers hearing BTS use things like inside jokes, common slang or something like sarcasm can very easily come across as something else.

The other way around also applies, that when BTS use English (or to them any other foreign language) it might be a mistake or a lost in translation moment. BTS sharing an English song might not mean they relate to and know everything in the song, or Jimin using “My love” might to him not be as romantic sounding as to some native English speakers.

4. Fourth, the language of an analysis (or just fan opinions in general). As for me I am not an native English speaker, and thus can't always express or explain my theories very eloquently. But the way a theory sounds and if it is well written/edited can affect our way to view it. If something sounds smart we are more likely to accept it without question, and might be more easily convinced. Likewise if something doesn’t sound overly biased (super negative or super positive) we might feel it is more balanced and trustworthy.

Confidence is also a factor, and we tend to get drawn to people who seem sure of themselves. Maybe you have even been in a discussion where you have the "facts" but start to doubt yourself because the other person is so sure of their own contradicting "fact". In today’s society it might be easily solved by a google search to see what is right. Remember Jin and Jimin discussing if dolphins can breathe underwater? (In BV2). Even small things like this can be argued and might make you wonder if you are wrong if the other person keeps insisting. But with shipping we can’t always check the facts, as it’s often based on interpretation. But the feeling of something making sense can still be affected by how something is presented and how sure the source sounds.

Not to mention the content itself, as things might get emphasized on or downplayed or not even mentioned for the sake of an argument. I know that some of my own theories or ideas have been retold by others in a more factual way and that it has made people feel more confident about Vmin being the superior ship. Even though I and the second person, and third person and so on presented the same information, the way it was shared and retold made the same thing sound more convincing. It’s a snowball effect that also happens gradually over time as things get more and more “accepted” as facts even if they might not have started out as one. I am careful with my words because I know the power they hold.

If we use “Vmin seem to be careful around each other sometimes” and compare that sentence to “We can conclude that Vmin acts careful when together” one will likely be more convincing than the other. Every word might affect how we as readers interpret an analysis.

It might sound obvious, but language matters a lot. When looking at any text, but in this case shipping analyses, we have to consider many things. Who wrote it? What does it say? How does it say it? To whom is it directed? And what effect does the text have (meaning interpretation from the reader and how they react to it)?

In fact the way your opinions or speculations are presented might make a bigger difference than what the intended idea is. Things will have a very different meaning depending on when and how you say it. What is the message I try to show in my analyses? For example, if I use "Vmin is real" or "If Vmin is real"/"Vmin might be real"? One is basically propaganda and the other is a hypothesis. But in the end perhaps the message is read the same despite my efforts? Even so I think it matters and I need to emphasize that my purpose is not to deliver the truth or a right way to think.

How do I get across the message I want to get across? And how can I be sure that it’s not misinterpreted? I can’t be, because we all interpret and understand things differently. That’s also why I try to repeat things in different ways and try to explain myself as well as I can. I think about the effect my words have a lot, and I want you all to think about it too. To not take everything I say as an absolute truth and to remember that I am a flawed human who is biased and doesn’t know Korean and doesn’t know BTS personally. Just a fan, sitting from far away and speculating. Just as every other shipper (or believer) is.

It might not have been the most fun part to read, but I do think it’s more important than many might realize. So, try to remember the problems we have when it comes to language in the context of consuming fan made theories and BTS content in general:

Language barrier.

Different values tied to words.

Internal nuances in language.

Language used in shipping context/analysis.

These are of course just some general points, but I do think we need to be careful and have them in mind as consumers of fan content, translations and as outsiders.

All I can do is try, and to remind you all to think about what you consume.

(Keep reading - link to part 2)

#vmin #vmin analysis #btsandvmin #big post #BTS&Vmin analysis pt. 3 #bts&vmin analysis #Problems with analysis of real people #shipping analysis #BTS shipping

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dramarising-replacement · 3 years

Text

About the Crow drama...

...I am really getting annoyed by the people clamoring that it's racist and so on. I am throwing my hat in the ring and trying to see it from both sides but I truly find the whole thing one big problem of co-opting r*cism to harass people. But that is my opinion, everyone is allowed their own but I find it highly problematic that this whole thing has led to people actually faking screenshots to claim they are at fault. This is not ok. Neither is harassing. Please stop.

Either way, onwards. Keep in mind, this is my view on the whole thing and I just want to give a perspective of someone who is fairly removed from the whole thing and decided to use critical thinking. I will state that I have had not much interaction with any person involved, I shared spaces in discord in the past and of course also on FR but not to say that any side is my friend.

Do you know what my biggest problem with the aforementioned statement is? That it's mostly made by the non-Asian people that are stuck on Orientalism. You are projecting your racist stereotypes on a subspecies that was created by actual Asian people. What is the problem with people having fun with their own cultures? I can understand if some Asian people (and I am using Asian because I do not know enough about the subspecies to say which ethnic/culture it is mostly based on) do not like it. That is normal, everyone has different likes and dislikes. Using slurs is not ok but honestly, I haven't seen any proof of these alleged slurs so I can't say anything about it. Show me actual slurs thrown around and it would be different but for now the only thing I could find was the rat thing and honestly? Looking at those screenshots given showed rat used in the context of a beloved character. Who here has never talked about their bastard character being some kind of trashy raccoon or rat before?

Back to the fact that some people of the same nationality say they don't like it. Like I said, that happens, god, there are many times I don't like what people are doing with my culture. But guess what? I don't say that they are forbidden from playing with it. What gives one person of a culture the right to demand from others to stop how they interact with it? If you start doing that, we have to apply that to everything and imagine how uniform everything would be. For example Christianity: there are so many different branches and they have often problems with their different interpretations of the bible and their practices. Would you say we have to stop all Christian beliefs now? Sounds kind off dumb, right?

If you do not like how these people interact with their culture then stop interacting with them and the subspecies. It is that easy. FR is not here to take you by the hand and make everything go away that you don't like. It doesn't work like that, we are a pluralistic world with many many different views on things. And that is great. But it also means in spaces like FR we have to moderate ourselves. See something that doesn't confirm your view? Block it or, in case of truly problematic things like outright r*cism/r*pe/m*rder/p*dophilia or whatever else, report. Saying that you don't like how some people interact with your culture while they are of the same culture does not give you the right to call these people racist. Turn it around and these people could call you also racist because you interact differently with your culture. This does not help anyone.

Now, to my biggest problem with this mud throwing (I would love to call it a discourse but let's be honest here: the people starting to falsify information made this into some kind of contest to harass some people):

the fact that most people involved are espousing their own racist views under the veneer of "calling out" racism.

Like I said, I have not specially much knowledge about the subspecies but I did take a look at it, so here we go. But what I read is quite away from that "fetishing" you guys are accusing the people playing around with the dragons. For me it seems like they mixed bird facts, plague aesthetics and cultural aspects together. If you start interpreting r*cism into everything you read, congrats, then you should really think about what that says about yourself.

For me this seems much more a problem of co-opting anti-racist movements to harass specific people. You use the "right" language to make the "right" accusations and take advantage of white/western ignorance. I am specifically harsh here because this is all that I am currently seeing from all these people: they call members of the subspecies out, in the recent cases C specifically, C actually answered and showed proof that there were actual lies used and so someone decided they needed to remove authenticy from C so they created fake screenshots that say they are from Korea. This whole interaction screams of someone calling r*cism only to realize that, oh no, C actually is Chinese, so they did their best to make it seem like C lied. This is insidious and bullying. I do not know the people involved, I have only written a few times with C and shared discord spaces so I found the Korea screenshot very weird, it's just not how C normally writes.

I think this isn't about r*cism anymore, this is all about power. This is manipulation at its finest. Really, take the claims of r*cism away and then look at the subspecies again. What is your first thought? Man, that subspecies screams of Plague.

Here is a thought for all of you: there is unfortunately much r*cism to be found since we are living in a world that is flooded with r*cistic undertones. This means we have to educate ourselves on these issues and to think critically about them. This does not mean "to criticize" but to actually analyze, evaluate and examine so we can reconstruct our perspectives on these issues. And I beg of the people just going after these "call-out" posts, think about this again. Did the subspecies really scream r*cism to you or did you maybe rather think Plague aesthetic before you read these posts? If so, you really have to examine why your view changed.

One more thing, we have here two groups in the recent posts, one side is "calling" out C and C answers, making sure to openly discuss their culture and background as much as they did. So we have one side seemingly manipulating "evidence" to further their story and one side giving as much information as they can about their background without revealing their whole identity. Yeah, sorry, but I think I know who is more genuine here. Instead of making FR a more informed space it seems it was easier to use progressive language to further their own ideas of what r*cism is. (I am still more sure that this is all about power than anything else.)

This whole thing makes me very salty because it seems like everyone in the notes threw out their critical thinking just so they would not appear as r*cist.

As an older person that had to take more than one class on colonization and Orientalism this whole thing just makes me wish more people would use critical thinking. Please stop blindly following pretty "progressive" words without seeing the actual problem here. This is actually my biggest problem here, I do not claim to be knowledgable enough to know where the subspecies furthers stereotypical views but for me all the posts I was shown and then read myself speak of different problem.

If you read until now, congratulations, feel free to discuss my points but I am honestly so tired about seeing people just ignoring the bigger issues. I won't answer to anything because I do not want to spend my time here arguing about these things but seeing that my major during my studies involved big chunks of literature and cultural sciences this whole thing just rubbed me wrong when someone told me about it.

#Drama #Rant #Long post #Petty #User #submission

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theheaterishotjournals · 4 years

Text

10/25/2020

Took me awhile to realize it but yep. I am. Depressed. Feeling numb. Don’t feel joy, don’t feel sad, hobbies aren’t doing it for me, no motivation to do them, awful sleep patterns. No motivation to work out or right or.

Damn was it not just last week I wrote about how working out felt great? And now I’m like, “Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

SIGHHHHHH.

23rd - Daniel and I ate fast food. Watched baseball. I was depressed. Our bed broke so Daniel and I have been sleeping in the office, which is a dream come true. I love sleeping on a futon. It was rough for us to get used to ‘cause... It made me realize what a big butt I have. Like. Lying on my back, my butt is like, “Let me fuck up your spine.” I definitely need a mattress as much as I enjoy a futon on the floor. Sob. Stupid thick body of mine. Why can’t I be those Asian goddesses who are perfect in every way?!

24th - More depression. Avoid talking to friends. Don’t even want to play video games. Just drown myself in puzzles. Reading manga ain’t doing it for me. Puzzles weren’t doing it for me. Even though I talked to Alex about how crosswords made me happy. I talked to Alex a lot that day, actually! I was trying not to but I was having fun so we just kept talking. Fuck. She was talking about weighing herself and losing weight and it made me feel like a fat fuck. Even though I’m happy for her and it made me motivated! I was also like, christ I’m fat. But sometimes I’m fine with my weight ‘cause minorities dig the thickness? And I’m mostly healthy?? So why do I wanna lose weight? To fit the Asian ideal even though I’m not interested in wooing an Asian?? To show my family up? It just makes me seem like I don’t have a good reason to lose weight.

Honestly. I like working out just ‘cause I feel good but definitely, in the back of my mind, I wanna lose weight. And none of them are for good reasons. It’s weird. I’m also very, “Fuck my family.” But at the same time there’s a lot that’s like, I want to impress them. It’s very. Contradictory. If I try to see what I want though... My self. It’s to tell them to fuck off. I don’t want their approval and I don’t need it.

So what is this part that wants their approval? Hm.

25th - Daniel and I fell asleep so I doubt I’ll go to bed in time and I will fuck myself for work this week with the lack of sleep and thus get more depressed. At least it’s cooling down. Daniel made a tasty dinner. WE went to the grocery store and it was HELL. I’m never doing errands on a weekend ever again! We were supposed to go to Ikea to fix the bed but took a nap instead. I love naps.

A part of me is like. Wow. Wish I could stay up forever and do project.s THen another part is like, dude. Sleeping is so fun. As Bomb the music industry says, do i have to wait til I die before I get a good night’s sleep?

Daniel made steak and garlic mashed potatoes and I was depressed.

But! I realized I was depressed (finally) and decided to journal ‘cause I know it helps and... I wish I could be more consistent. With the journaling and the meditation and working out every day. BUt I gotta change that perspective. Instead of being mad about the days I missed, I gotta be proud of the days I managed to do it. So I did it! Just the journaling so far today but that’s more than not doing anything! Yeah yeah!

On another note, feeling more and more disconnected from the youth of today. In a good way. I should think about having kids soon but I’m still like... ehhhhhhhh. BUt I’m at that age where any older and I will fuck myself over.

Ehhhhhhhhhh.

Oh yeah. I did try to draw today. But instead it just didn’t come out well ‘cause I wasn’t feeling it and I stopped and I just.

Dude. Depression SUCKS. BOY HOWDY DOES IT SUCK.

SELF LOVE TIME BABY

I am mindful of the ways my body causes me shame, embarrassment, or unhappiness. How often do I focus on what I hate about my body? How can I show my body more compassion? Today I will write a letter of love and gratitude to my body.

Um. Wow. Ok. I don’t read the prompts ahead of time so can I just way? Wow? Kismet?? Could this be any more fated? Damn.

Ok, ok.

Dear Body,

Honestly. You’ve been a prince among men. I know I fucked you over in college when I didn’t eat for 3 days causing a sudden weight gain when you were like, “Wow, we really gotta store fat ‘cause where are you living??” So you’re just trying to watch out for me. And y’know, it has worked. There are some days I’m just too depressed to eat and the fat stores kept me alive.

You go along with me when I work out and you’ve been building muscles. Sorry I don’t take better care of you. But after reading so much Cells at Work, I worry about all the infections and shit. I hope you keep doing well. I’ve been very healthy and happy so far. I can’t run a marathon, but I can run around. I can hike. Thanks to you. Especially during the pandemic.

Sorry I fucked up our teeth too but they’re doing pretty well, all things considered. Also, we’re lucky about the lack of acne problems, eh? That alwys seemed like such a pain in the ass. Also, brain, you’re sorta fucked up but ain’t your fault.

I’ll try to take care of us better.

-Vi

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praphit · 4 years

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Gretel & Hansel: White people, hear me!

I know, I know, some of y'all were hoping that my next review would be Taylor Swift's "Miss Americana".

I'm sorry to disappoint you. Why and how is she still making movies anyway? I thought that everyone associated with "Cats" had been banned from Hollywood.

Now, it WOULD be cool, if Taylor got involved in Horror. I'm thinking that a bunch of horror monsters could get together to track her down; kinda like a contest. They would, you know... do their thing to her, and then bring her back from the dead in the sequel, and repeat the process. Every now and then, they could throw in Justin Bieber or someone else with his same level of annoyance. BOOM! Franchise! So, donate to Praphit Productions (millions), so I can make that happen. I'll just CG Taylor Swift in, if I have to; I'm sure she'd be ok with that.

Just picture Jason Voorhees or Kanye West chasing her.

No, people, I'm here to talk to y'all about Hansel & Gretel!

No, no, no, I'm sorry! "Gretel and Hansel!"

I almost forgot about that blow up in their studio. Y'all remember that?

Sophia Lillis' (who plays Gretel - SHE’S GREAT IN THIS-BTW) first day on the set was raw!

She walked up to the director and was like "Bleep this bleep! Who is Hansel? Who the bleep is he?! No one knows that actor! What is he, like 5 years old? Bleep him! How is his name first?! So, a woman can't lead a man, huh??! It's always gotta be Hansel first, right?! And what always happens?! That witch bitch always tries to eat them! Bleep that! Y'all know who I is! I'm Sophia bleeping Lillis! I was in "It" one AND two. What has "Sammy Leakey" (playing Hansel) been in??!

Not a damned thing! I want my name first! You will put it first or so help me God, I will UNLEASH THE FURY!"

Director (Oz Perkins): "I actually like that idea"

SL: "I don't give a bleep what you like! Just make it happen!"

Then, she went to her trailer, and when she came back out, it was "Gretel & Hansel".

(Hansel’s not even in the shot. Lillis was too raw for him.)

Let's see if Gretel fairs better in this story, now that she's getting the chance to lead.

We all know this Brothers Grimm story. There's a family (I don't know what Gretel & Hansel's last name is... we'll just say "Shakur"). So, the Shakur Family was struck by a famine in the land. Stuff happens, and G & H end up off on their own, in the woods, and eventually meet up with a witch, who later tries to eat them.

White people, hear me! Are you listening? STOP GOING INTO THE WOODS! Seriously, STOP! I'm trying to save you. Black people know better, but y'all... smh. I know y'all like to go hiking, and camping, and taking selfies on mountain tops and shit, but PLEASE... STOP! Nothing good is waiting for you out there!

Quit going into the woods to get footage of alleged monsters/spirits. Quit going into the woods to spend the night in cabins. Quit going into the woods to party on the anniversary of the night that 12 people were mysteriously murdered in those same woods. STOP!

JUST STOP! DAMN!

Some of you might be thinking, "Well maybe Gretel will make it. Maybe now that she's leading the duo, things will be different." Nope, she's white... *sigh* so we all know what she and Hansel did... went right into the woods.

This movie is mainly from Gretel's perspective. Right from the jump, we see Gretel being pimped out by her mama. Gretel of course declines to become a professional hoe, but when she comes back to her mama for a possible different direction in life, Mama is like "Would it have killed you to get on your knees for your family?! We're starving!"

I know - Mom of the Year.

Dad isn't even around. I may have missed something, but I don't remember where he was, or if maybe he ran away, a long time ago. One of those "Daddy went to get a pack of cigs, and never came back" scenarios. He may be off in a land flowing with Big Macs and Fries, Idk. Or maybe, being that his "selfish" daughter wouldn't put-out, he decided to get to work on the corner himself. Who knows where he was in this movie??

Gretel was def tough though. And she loved her brother! She was very protective of him. There is a scene where there's some sort of vampire creature chasing down Hansel, and Gretel stands up to the creature. That's the type of character that she is in this movie. She's smart, tough, and though sometimes hard on her bro, she loves him very much.

Hansel on the other hand is annoying as shit. And Dumb! Man, is he dumb! I'm surprised that we never see Gretel slap him. But, she is always able to compose herself in the midst of her annoying brother, and keep the journey going. She even calms him down at one point with some drugs. They end up eating some shrooms on their trip. Now, THAT'S love, people! Seeing someone in need of calming the bleep down, and offering them some good shit. What's a road trip without a moment when the group gets high??

There's a Lando-looking character that they meet along the way.

He doesn't have much of a role in this movie. I'm not saying it's because he's black, BUT he's a fascinating, noble character, who's black and barely in the movie. And they do not trust him at all. I'm not saying it's because he's black... you know what?? - YES! Yes I am saying that!

He saves their lives, offers them food and shelter, and gives them specific instructions that will keep them safe. But, after that (the only character so far that has had G & H's best interests in mind), Gretel immediately questions his motives. White women, hear me! If a black man willingly sticks out his neck for you, IN THE DARKNESS, in order to save YOUR life, that's a man that you can trust. Cuz we (black men) all know, that if we try to save a white woman out in public (even if we succeed), there's a good chance that the cops will still swing by to shoot us. They're thinking just like Gretel is in this movie - "I know it LOOKS like they saved her, but... can we really trust him? - let's shoot him just in case." Granted, this Landoish character sends them off (again with instructions for their safety). They had no quarrels about leaving (and quickly).

So, they runaway from the compassionate black man, who just saved them, and they meet an old lady (the witch) who has black fingers, and house smells a lil like death... and they say to themselves "Let's sleep here!" Ain't that some shit??!

White people, HEAR ME!

STOP!

They don't even question her black fingers, they just let her handle their food. I question people of whom I don't know, with normal fingers, handling my food, but... I guess that's just me.

Then, the rest of the story is legend.

The production design in this movie is absolutely amazing! If this film had no dialogue, and was just silent, it still would have been a beautiful movie (despite the cannibalism:)

The plot, I felt, was secondary to the cinematography.

Some of you might say, "Well that's nice and all, but is the movie scary? Does the witch, at some point, rev-up a chainsaw, and chase the two kids around her house?" No. "Ok, but does the movie, at some point, have little, pale Asian kids making creepy noises at H & G while they're trying to sleep?" NO! "Yeah, but is there some sort of human centipede action happening in the basement of the witch, and she tries to..."

NO! NO! HELL NO! What's wrong with y'all?!

No, none of that. The story that The Brothers Grimm have painted is horrifying enough. Famine and crappy parenting, leading to witch who wants to eat you... I'd say that's all that's required; the director knows this.

They don't need to use any gimmicks, just the same story (pretty much), a lil dark magic, the mentioned cinematography, and well-placed spooky music keep the movie in a consistent place of dread.

I think RT got this one wrong (59%). I don't have much bad to speak of, concerning this movie. I can't give it an A grade, due to it being a copy of a story that we've seen copied many times before. Plus, there are some ending issues I have with it, that I'll get to in a sec. BUT, this film is a hell of a B grade :)

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WARNED YOU!

A few things:

Soooooo, Gretel has some sort of connection to the witch that is never explained. Apparently, she has within her, the same powers as the witch.

She ends up sending her bro off to Lord knows where. She sends him off on a horse that she says she SPOKE TO, and he (the horse) will get Hansel there (where? who knows??) safely. So, she's talking the animals now?? When did she pick-up that skill? And where the bleep did she even get a horse?

There's some super grease that her and the witch use to do magic, that is never explained.

Now, none of this took away from my enjoyment of the film, but... still though.

There's a message of false empowerment at the end. Like I said, she abandons her brother, so that she can... fulfill her destiny or something. She has dark magic in her, but she is convinced that she'll use it for good. Like I said, Gretel is a SMART character... what happened to all of that smart? It's like saying "Hey, I have this STD, but instead of tending to it, I'm going to use my STD for good. It's going to be hard, but I've gotta be strong."

WHAT?!

I said "false empowerment". The movie isn't painting a picture of this being a good thing, but the "false" part is subtle enough to where people could walk away thinking it's an empowering message.

You abandoned your brother to become a witch! But, maybe I'm not being fair. Perhaps Gretel will be just fine. Throughout the history of human beings, we've had many people who were in power, and who thought that not allowing their power to be checked was the brave and noble thing to do. I think those times in history all worked out well right??

I could have added some pics to accentuate my last statement, but I feel it might have been a little too real:)

So, instead I'll leave y'all with this slightly less horrifying pic

... and bid you adieu.

STAY OUT OF THE WOODS!

#gretel & hansel #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #movies #Movie Reviews #Horror Movies #praphit #taylor swift #miss americana #sophia lillis #oz perkins #hanselandgretel #witches #cats #black people #white people

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the-sanders-sides · 5 years

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inidan american (desi) logan

a sequel to this post because people asked for more and i decided that they shall receive (and also i love writing these)

fair warning, logans a bitter kid, and this isnt as positive and happy as romans post. ive experienced two different ways of being desi, one where i lived in fully asian and indian community and didnt even think id ever feel alone, and another where i moved to a place where i havent met another desi in like 7 years of living here in a 3 hour driving radius. in romans post i played into my first experience and how at home i felt. in the second experience, the one im in right now, i am much more bitter about who i am and not really knowing anyone who gets it anymore. so i play into that A LOT in this. so keep that in mind. (and he will get happier in a future part. m planning on making this into a series)

ok so first off. his name is logan sanders. people (mostly other indians) dont believe him when he tells them. he tells them they dont know indian history. they say they do. he tells them that the british fucked around (quite literally) in india for four centuries so of course english names would stick with that precise wording

sometimes when he’s annoyed enough and doesnt want to explain this for the millionth he defends himself with this russel peters skit (watch it, it’s hilarious) because it describes his family. to a T.

he grew up in a community with not very many asians, and knew no indians outside his family so he felt a sort of disconnect to his culture

while his grandparents and parents would teach him about indian culture, he felt so distant from it since he knew no one outside his family who was indian, and since he didnt have any siblings or any nearby cousins to hang around with

he had visited india once but he was too young to remember it properly or too remember his cousins

the closest mandir was an hour away so that also limited the amount of indian kids/people he knew

he barely knew hindi because everyone in his family spoke english, especially in public

he felt guilty over the disconnect he felt and would always try to bridge it but would never accomplish this because it he kept losing passion since he rarely saw other people like him in the real world and in the media and he didnt see the point of trying

this all changed in eight grade when he moved next door to the Kumar family in a north indian street of some south asian blocks in an asian community

when his family first moved, the Kumar family invited the Sanders over to welcome them

it turns out the Kumar’s had a son who was the same age as logan

“hi logan! im rohan kumar! but i like going by roman instead of rohan!”

this introduction pissed logan off

he was seething because why would this kid who got to have an indian first AND last name change his name to an english one! why didnt he see the value of his name!

he knew right away that such a difference meant they could never be friends

“im logan sanders, but thats all youll get to know about me because i see no use associating myself with someone as... well, ignorant, as you”

roman decides to whip out one of the swears his cousins taught him and whisper shouts “who are you calling ignorant, bhenchod?”

it became clear to him that this was new turf, and people on this new turf must be speaking hindi. and that he was the ignorant one if he couldnt talk in hindi. he made a vow to learn it as fast as he could to make sure this roman kid wasnt better than him

but, logan grits his teeth and says “you, and i know it must be true because you were too dumb to understand me the first time”

this evidently struck a sore spot in roman because he didnt fight back but just stalked away. logan smiled slightly, happy to have won that argument

logan asks his grandpa to teach him hindi and his grandpa gets super excited

they start lessons immediately and despite barely hearing it growing up, it’s as if his brain was made for this because he picks the language up amazingly fast and in a months time, while not able to speak back yet, he can understand most casual conversation

his first diwali in basically little india is the most magical thing ever

diwali at his old home was very quiet because there wasnt anyone around to celebrate with

everyone is so happy in this new home however. everyone is dressed up and all the houses are lit up and there are diyas everywhere and he doesnt want to admit it but the kumar’s have the best rangoli on the street and it’s because of roman and he knows roman did it because sometimes he’d stare out of his bedroom window while doing homework and have a perfect view of roman delicately working on it for two weeks

(the kumar’s front porch had been covered with tarp waiting for diwali to make sure romans precious rangoli wasnt stepped on or ruined. when it’s finally let up, everywhere where there could be art, there is. it’s insane how good at colors roman is, logan thinks)

diwali morning:

he fights his parents because he doesnt want to miss school for diwali because americans dont have a day off for it. his parents set the clocks in the house ahead to make him think he overslept so he would skip school. (logan didnt know that his parents had submitted an excused absence form for religious reasons and that the school was very understanding. he thought it would be like his old school where he wouldnteven bother trying since he wasnt christain and the school was lkinda discriminatory)

they spend the morning in mandir and it’s nice. for once he doesnt feel different from his peers because he goes to mandir and not church or synagogue. he feels at home.

diwali afternoon:

the afternoon is spent with frantic cleaning and cooking and digging around for the diya’s that were still in boxes, packed away from when they moved

logan offered to find them all to continue with a diya science experiment he started two years prior. his theory was that the diya’s were multiplying and there were more each year despite no one buying anymore

this held true, because even though he could only find half of their diya collection, it was somehow more than the entire diya collection of two years prior.

diwali evening:

theres a big potluck and everyone in the neighborhood is out talking to each other, looking at the decorations at everyones houses, eating samosas, and playing with sparklers.

logan feels content

he makes a new resolve to learn more about hinduism. if this is what ti was supposed to be, then he never wanted to be away from hinduism.

he looked at the metaphors and symbolism in everything and finally understood what his dad meant he told logan that hinduism is just science written in poetry and that string theory is written in the ancient texts

middle school in this new town is so much better than middle school in his old home. why?

a. doesnt get bullied for being a nerd

b. doesnt get called gay slurs

c. the classes are harder

d. much less racism

e. all of the above

soon enough, logans asking his grandpa to teach him how to cook Indian food

Logan spends the day burning dosas and making lopsided rotis

(eventually he gets the hang of it, and a he'll be cooking food for an infuriating Indian boy ;) ;) psst it's roman)

Speaking of boys

Coming out isn't an option for logan

He knows that his parents arent really religious enough to really look into hinduism and see that no, gays are not bad

But they are traditional and conservative enough to be homophobic

not homophobic as in spewing hate with the westboro baptist church at a pride parade

But homophobic as in "the gays are fine as long as they don't do it in front of me" kinda thing

So Logan stays quiet

the closet kinda sucks but i mean what can he do

it’s safer inside, and he as illogical as wishing is, he wishes that people would use their brains and realize there’s nothing wrong with gay

anyway

in school logan makes his first desi friend, who was dubbed as anxiety years ago and cant seem to get rid of the nickname and now has a whole complex about his name so logan doesnt know his name

logan and anxiety meet in the school library: logan studying and anxiety hiding

people dont like anxiety

especially non-indian kids

surprise surprise it’s an old buddy called racism, but anxiety’s story is for another time

(but even though no one really likes anxiety, whenever racist shit goes down, it has to go through roman)

so logan and anxiety become fast friends

and they make fun of roman (a+ bonding)

logan claims that roman is a hypocrite for changing his name to an english one while being so immersed in indian culture

anxiety doesnt dispute this, but says he has a past with roman

a past that involved getting stuck with the name anxiety

again, another story for another time

one day, when logan and anxiety are eating lunch they see roman destroy some homophobes who throw around the word f*g and keep calling caitlyn jenner, bruce jenner

logans chest surges

he’s all like “what?? emotions?? pride at roman?? is he better than me for being so open and standing up for what he believes in??”

gay panic basically

but logan masked it well and pushed it away

the next day roman comes to school with a pride patch on his jean jacket

logan feels like he cant breathe

logan is supremely jealous of roman.

he can be gay in peace

he can pretend not to be indian in a way that benefits him

and he’s not affected by stereotypes in the same way?? like what does this kid not have

and by stereotypes i mean

roman is the complete opposite of all indian and desi stereotypes: loud, flamboyant, theatrical

logan’s personality is exactly how the stereotypes are. he’s nerdy and likes science and math and it seems like he cant escape the stereotypes. they follow him. and he feels guilty that he likes science and math and is nerdy.

as illogical as it is, he wishes he was different from how he is

but logan later learns that there are more than just his perspective on being desi and that every desi kid growing up faces challenges about it that are different than his, causing them to experience being desi differently

and logan will accept that, in another story at another time

for now, he’s just bitter. and as illogical as it is, he wishes the world was better

and now, i shall tag some people who asked to be tagged and some other desi’s who loved this because i feel like you guys might appreciate this too. also i love u. desi famders squad up.

@sssixeyedrunt @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @caterpiller-tea @xxxbladeangelxxx @snufflesthegrim227 @cloudchaser7 @thelowlysatsuma

#logan sanders #logince #virgil sanders #roman sanders #desi #desi headcanons #sanders sides #mine #please love this #r #l #v

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yeoldontknow · 5 years

Note

I finally made my own tumblr and i feel pretty happy bcuz im finally letting others see my writing but i wanted to know what you did for your stories to like, “get out there?” Btw i LOVE your stories im a new fan of EXO and ur stories r amazing keep it up!!

hi there. welcome to tumblr! thats so exciting! i hope youre enjoying your time here! im going to preface everything i say by advising a few things.

firstly that i dont consider myself an ‘out there’ blog. im exceptionally proud of the amount of followers i have, even though the number itself is different depending on perspective. to some, this number is remarkably small. to others, this number is enormous. and the amount of readership that occurs on my fics really doesnt match up the to the numbers the way you think it would. so when you say ‘out there’ just keep in mind this is really...dependent on so many factors and depends on your own personal definition of what that means.

second, the things i list that were part of my experience may not work for you or match up to your experience. theres really no algorithm or formula anyone can give. so again, you can take all of this with a grain of salt.

- make use of tags and tag appropriately. when youre starting from 0 (as everyone on this website does) the first and primary way you get any of your writing out to the public (beyond...posting it lmao) is tagging. only the first five tags show up in searches when youre tagging on tumblr, so keep that in mind when you consider how many networks (ill discuss those later) you want to join. keep your tags relevant to what youve written, things like ‘member smut’ or ‘member fluff’ usually draws in a crowd. when i first started hero, i was tagging with ‘chanyeol x reader’ and ‘chanyeol scenario’ and those pulled in a bunch of readers too (that was 2 years ago tho, so idk how much a scenario tag pulls in anymore)

- post in multiple places. i have an AO3 and a tumblr. most writers cross post to ao3 and tumblr, but others also have an asian fan fics account or a wattpad account (this is usually to prevent people plagiarizing on there). but most writers i know (tbh i think all) post in at least two separate places.

- join a network. networks are so great for getting your work out there when you dont have a lot of followers or are new and dont have a lot of readership. theres so many out there you can join - some are specific to band and others are multi-fandom and only require that you be writing for kpop. my recommendation is to join two or three, because these networks will always require you use their tag in the first five. this is because the only way they will find your work to reblog it is by searching it, so tagging for two main tags and two networks is a surefire way to get your writing to the right people.

- talk to other writers/blogs. send asks, play ask games with them, tag them in things you know they like (example, even if i dont follow you but you tag me in something related to chanyeol i will always respond). leave feedback on their work. reblog their work and tag it well - either with your keysmash reaction, your thoughts, or your feelings. whatever you give into the community will come back to you.

***HOWEVER, i will say that dont be discouraged if writers dont reply right away. sometimes tumblr eats asks, deletes messages, or doesnt let them show up until the person can get to a computer. furthermore, most writers on here have regular jobs or families, so the time theyre on tumblr is very limited. and even more than that, theres a big question of age. for me personally, if i can tell a person is quite young or under the age of 18, i am less likely to fully go back and forth in banter with them because i am considerably older than that and thats inappropriate. im just pointing this out because i dont want you sending messages and getting discouraged if someone doesnt reply. theres a lot of reasons someone might not reply, and it may have nothing to do with you or be relate to something within your control.

- if youre a new writer, join a beta network. theres networks out there where people willingly volunteer to beta writing, and you can also apply to be a beta. this helps improve your writing, which will help draw more readers, and will also create a community/friendship around you and your beta team.

- make a masterlist, even if you only have 1 written item. masterlists help people new to your blog see what you have written, find it, and read it OR see what you want to write. example: if youre writing for exo and you have a list for the entire band, ill assume that at some point youll write for chanyeol even if you only have a link for jongdae. make a masterlist and link it in your bio for easy access.

ok so thats...bare minimum how you get your writing out and circulating and possibly generating a community for you to engage with. but its really important for me to say the following:

if you are walking into this with an expectation that you will soon receive recognition or feedback or a large amount of notes, please please restructure this. in my years on this site, i have seen so many writers come and go because they start writing solely for the notes or the feedback. thats not a sustainable goal and it will suck the pleasure out of writing really really quickly. its so easy to get discouraged if you dont think youre achieving some arbitrary number that tumblr itself messes with just by changing rules or guidelines or the way posts show up on a dash.

instead, challenge yourself to write things that interest you or to write different things within your stories. things like ‘i want to write a fantasy’ ‘i want to write a 5 part mini series’ ‘i want to write an angsty drabble.’ when you approach writing from this perspective, it keeps you consistent and motivated with your goals. and it also, believe it or not, make your writing come from a genuine place of love rather than a place of wanting interaction. readers can tell when someone genuinely loves what they write and when someone is just checking boxes they think will bring in feedback.

also - please know that getting your writing out there is very much a ‘rome wasnt built in a day’ kind of vibe. ive been on this website for 2 years and there have been months where my notes and follower count is barely moving, and others where i feel like i get 200 followers in a week or hundreds of notes on something id posted a year ago. you cannot predict how long it will take for people to see your work, the only thing you can predict is that it will take time. honestly, again ive been here for two years and im still a pretty small blog. theres no magic formula to this.

i hope all this helps!

#writing advice #zaralax

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pass-the-bechdel · 5 years

Text

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

One (7.69% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twelve.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Excellent! Full of as much heart as action, the film takes on the complicated task of delivering a Captain America for the modern world, avoiding jingoism while also acknowledging the origins which brought the comic-book hero into being. Against the odds (and my personal expectations), it is a sound success, and I consider it easily the best of the Marvel franchise’s early films.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Obviously, that didn’t happen.

Female characters:

Peggy Carter.

Male characters:

Johann Schmidt.

Steve Rogers.

James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.

Howard Stark.

Abraham Erskine.

Arnim Zola.

Gilmore Hodge.

Chester Phillips.

Brandt.

Fred Clemson.

Timothy Dugan.

Nick Fury.

OTHER NOTES:

I’m mad about the Hydra symbol being the coolest insignia in this franchise. I would wear the heck outta some Hydra merchandise, if it weren’t for the, y’know, evil Nazi fascism stuff.

I love little Steve. They pulled that off so well.

I don’t love that Peggy’s introduction revolves around her being disrespected by a guy and then knocking him on his ass. It feels far too prescribed, too Strong Woman Cliche, so expected as to be rendered essentially meaningless. It implies that these are the most important things about the character - she’s a woman and she’s tough - and it panders to the sexist perspective by requiring Peggy to ‘prove herself’ upon arrival in a traditionally-masculinised way. They could have handled this introduction much better.

Man. This movie has such a good cast. The goodness of this cast has no chill.

“So many people forget that the first country that the Nazis invaded was their own.” This the good shit.

“Go get him! I can swim.” Snort.

Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, ‘Star Spangled Man’ plays over and over again in my head. That’s probably why I can’t sleep.

“Do you...fondue?”

The thing where someone gets hit and they fly off-screen in an exaggerated fashion is never not funny to me.

Characters surviving explosions without a scratch, however, is never not rubbish to me.

A super-soldier is never late, Peggy Carter, nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to.

Steve really isn’t very precious about choosing his team: they’re all just Bucky’s friends. He basically just went “ok, show of hands, who loves Bucky Barnes? Good, you guys are with me”. I mean, it’s solid reasoning - he trusts Bucky, and these guys have Bucky’s endorsement, and that’s good enough for Steve. I note that only one of the other guys on the team besides Steve and Bucky is a white American - the other guys are a black American and an Asian-American (and I see you there, recognition of racism against Japanese-Americans which led to their incarceration during the war, etc.), and then there’s a French dude and a Brit. That’s Captain America’s elite team: not all-American, and racially inclusive. I DIG that subtext.

*hisses* why is this whole Natalie-Dormer-mackin’-on-Steve thing even here? It’s a useless contrivance, plus I am extremely displeased at having Peggy being so petty in her jealousy that she actually fires a loaded gun straight at Steve. I sure hope she heard Howard’s explanation about the properties of the vibranium shield, or that she already knew them, because otherwise this is completely outrageous, but even then: what if the shield hadn’t performed as advertised? What if a bullet ricocheted and hit someone else? This is such a dangerous thing to do, and did I mention it is in service of a useless contrivance anyway? Peggy deserves better writing.

Lemme tell ya straight up: I thought I was gonna hate this movie. I mean...it’s Captain America. I expected cloying patriotism, a blandly self-righteous hero, probably some good ol’ war glorification as well. What we got instead was a film that barely even mentioned the good ol’ USA outside of the (explicitly recognised as) propaganda rigmarole that Captain America slogs through - a tool used to excellent effect to acknowledge the character’s history (the comic was created as propaganda during WWII in real life) while also carrying through the idea that what Captain America stands for is something far grander than nationalist fervour - and Steve himself is imbued with unassuming charm, fueled by the strength of his personal convictions but never forcing those convictions upon others in a show of moral grand-standing: an essential facet of the character is that he’ll pursue what he believes to be right regardless of whether anyone else follows him, and he accepts that there are consequences to his actions; he never props himself up with holier-than-thou declarations, he never shames anyone for disagreeing with him, and he never claims any kind of superiority over others (an important distinction when you’re juxtaposed with a Nazi Ubermensch villain). Other characters are inspired by Steve, but the film wisely never positions them as if they were weak or wavering without the symbol of Captain America to unite them: the war is a grindhouse, and they know the only way out is through. No one is fighting because they perceive battle as a great and noble cause, nor because they are righteously empowered; they fight because their enemy is too terrible to let pass, and there is no room for glory in that.

I can (and will) still quibble about the representation of war in the film: while the fact that it is sparingly shown does help to avoid the glorification of violence and death in battle, it also undersells the horror of war, which runs the risk of looping back around to glorification by making it all into fun skirmishes with faceless goons and glow-weapons. Additionally, Captain America clashes exclusively with Hydra and its operatives; while Red Skull severs his ties with Hitler early on through the welcome disintegration of a few Nazi representatives, the film cannot entirely distance itself from Hitler’s legacy (which Red Skull actively takes on for himself), and I take long-standing issue with anything which uses Nazis as an evil catch-all but fails to acknowledge and respect the victims of their reign. After Steve’s heroic nose-dive in the Valkyrie ends Hydra’s campaign, the film cuts to celebrations of the end of the war; they don’t actually state that it was Captain America who just defeated the Nazis by taking down Red Skull (despite the fact that Hydra’s soldiers with their fancy tech and also, um, actual-Hitler and his armies, are all still out there), but the implication is there, and it feels a mite bit insensitive, to say the least. I do think it is better that Steve has his own corner of the war to fight, rather than taking on the whole thing and battling actual-Hitler in the end (now THAT would be insensitive), but I do wish that the destruction and evil of the war at large were the backdrop of the film, rather than the comparatively sanitised Hydra operation that we see.

In this context, the weight of the war and the toll that it takes on the psyche of those suffering through it is carried almost exclusively by Bucky Barnes, who emerges from the unseen tortures of a Hydra work camp changed, his buoyant enthusiasm from the beginning of the film subdued, locked up behind the shattered look in his eyes and the fragile way he carries himself, determined to see this thing through to the end so that he can fall apart later, if he makes it that far (he doesn’t). Fandom has made much of Sebastian Stan’s understated performance, and with good reason: despite a minimal number of scenes there is a richness of detail in Bucky’s character, and as the emotional sinking ground for tragedy - both as the personification of the war’s devastation, and as a personal loss for Steve Rogers - Bucky’s narrative importance belies the amount of time dedicated to him in-text. Fandom has also made a strong point - with which I agree entirely and for which I will not pretend to take unique credit for noticing - that despite expectation, Bucky’s archetypal function in the film is not as the Hero’s Sidekick; he is, in actuality, fulfilling the cliche of the Love Interest, not in competition with Peggy Carter but instead of; Peggy, likewise, is not an archetypal Love Interest at all, because she’s the Hero’s Sidekick.

I am entirely of the opinion that this is an essential part of what makes Peggy - the sole named female character in town - work out so well, against the odds. As Steve’s sidekick, Peggy’s primary functions are to support him and give him advice; the sidekick is traditionally a rational role, someone who keeps the hero grounded and helps them to make the right choices, especially when they are emotionally conflicted. The Love Interest compels the hero’s emotions, sometimes (often) framed as driving them to acts of recklessness, to joyous heights, and depressive lows. Bucky is Steve’s damsel in distress; Steve is compelled to act when he learns that Bucky has been captured by the enemy, action which is tempered and assisted by Peggy’s influence and which ultimately brings Captain America out of propaganda mode to practice what he has preached, and be the soldier Steve always hoped to be. When Bucky falls, Peggy is there to talk to Steve, as a friend, and help him stop wallowing and concentrate his grief into the resolve which carries him through the climactic confrontations of the film’s final act. I’m not going to argue that Steve wanted to join the army just to be with Bucky (presumably that was a factor to some extent, but to call it the primary motivator would be to ignore the value set which made Steve into Captain America in the first place), nor that he was willing to sacrifice himself in the end because Bucky was gone (Steve’s mourning for Bucky certainly played a role in his mental state at the time, but ultimately, bringing down the Valkyrie was a practical choice, not an emotional one), but undeniably, Bucky was either integrally or tangentially attached to all of Steve’s major decisions across the film, as is common for a Love Interest, whereas Peggy consistently filled a support-and-guidance role, as any good sidekick should.

This is not to imply, by any measure, that Peggy can’t or shouldn’t be seen as a viable (lower case) love interest (or that Bucky’s time as a hero’s sidekick somehow doesn’t count as what it is); actually, I think that both character’s relationships with Steve benefit from being framed in this switched fashion. Bucky’s lifelong friendship with Steve comes across stronger and more meaningful due to the emotional pitch, allowing it to resonate as something deeply significant to Steve despite the limited exposure we have to it in action - extra important considering that Bucky is also fulfilling that sacrificial-character role. For Peggy, the fact that she is presented as a love interest but coded as a Hero’s Sidekick is even more important in its effect: since she is the only woman around, we have been taught by approximately All Media Ever to perceive her as the Love Interest from the second she steps on screen, and with that perception we are also encouraged to devalue her character as essentially existing for no other purpose than to be an attractive female prize for the Manly Male Hero to win by story’s end. By reinforcing Peggy as a friend to Steve, we subvert the expectation that she has no real function and/or that her personality is irrelevant, because narrative coding has taught us that sidekicks (almost exclusively male) matter, they have things to say and their influence on the hero is meaningful. Whether they are stalwart sidekicks, or bumbling fools, comedic, or secretly-insidious, a sidekick should be noted, because they’re a lot more likely to have something plot-relevant going on than a boring old Love Interest. Being presented as a helpful, sympathetic presence in Steve’s life who also Has Her Own Shit Going On allows Peggy to meet Steve on more even ground, and her interactions with him are not built around being romantically or sexually available: by having a working relationship built on a foundation of understanding friendship rather than attractive chemistry, the development of feelings between the characters comes across more as extraneous and organic, rather than a prescribed cliche. It still is a prescribed cliche, but it’s not one that compels Steve to do dumb stuff or that undermines Peggy’s relevance as a person in her own right, and that makes it a much more palatable romance than what we usually get.

This is also why that idiotic ~jealousy~ contrivance I flagged earlier is so out of place - I mean, it’s out of place because it’s idiotic, it has no impact on the story in any way and its an insult to the characters and I don’t know why it exists or why they kept it in the final cut of the film because it’s asinine rubbish, but it’s also out of place because it approaches Peggy as a Love Interest, scorned and emotionally lashing out, an attempt to generate Love Interest drama where it has no place in the movie, for the characters as the people that they are, with the established dynamic that they have, or in the context of their situation. Throwing a misunderstanding and some hurt feelings on top of a relationship which has worked refreshingly well thus far because of the honest and open conversations the characters have shared is utterly tone-deaf, and it’s one black mark on what is otherwise a shockingly strong and tonally-consistent film. She may be all alone in the movie, but I will happily argue that Peggy is the best, most-rounded female character in the MCU at this early stage, and she’s playing across from an eminently worthy leading man in Chris Evans’ charmingly-sincere Steve Rogers. The supporting cast is there - Seb Stan, of course, but also Stanley Tucci! Tommy Lee Jones! HUGO WEAVING! - being wonderful and engaging across the board, and there are no weak links (except Natalie Dormer, but that’s not her fault, and at least the misstep is brief and POINTLESS so that it doesn’t taint the rest of the film). Captain America: The First Avenger may not be absolutely perfect - nothing is - but it is a great ride, sometimes surprisingly nuanced, sometimes intriguingly subversive even while it plays straight with the expectations of its genre. I went into my first viewing of the film just hoping it wouldn’t make me mad, and I gotta tell ya: I ain’t mad at all. As far as I’m concerned, this is the platonic ideal of superhero films.

#Captain America: The First Avenger #MCU #Marvel Cinematic Universe #Bechdel Test #female representation

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kindabraveandlittlestupid · 6 years

Photo

Should be noted this post isn't about Shawshank Redemption (which was a damn good movie), this post is however about the term “White Privilege” but also about a less popular but still incredibly important term “Black Oppression”. If you’re not the sort to read a long post and just want the quick answer on how I (a Straight White American Male) feel about those words, I know White Privilege IS real. We see it both social interactions, how the police treat white men, how we are portrayed in popular culture, how we the courts rule in our favor when we break the law and all that doubly so when you start to include economic elements. On the other side, there are things that ARE NOT White Privilege such as voting in certain red states where policies are enacted that don’t uplift white voters but instead suppress black voters. This is where I think we need to use the word Black Oppression and differentiate the two things. Below I will provide some examples of White Privilege, some examples of Black Oppression, and some examples where there is both White Privilege and Black Oppression.

This whole point of the post isn’t to challenge the concept of White Privilege but perhaps add some nuance and shift the way we view things between what is privilege and oppression. If only for us to strive for a more equitable and equal society as well as sharpen our wits for when we encounter white supremacists who rely on flaws in our beliefs, values, and logic to further their own hateful agenda.

As always this is an opinion piece and if you have your own thoughts on the subject, take your time to reply with your own clear thoughts. I appreciate other points of view regardless of race, sex, orientation, political party or creed. I am always looking to expand my views, understanding complex social issues and develop a better foundation for my beliefs.

Medium

The first thing to discuss when dissecting this issue is the Medium, there are other words for this concept I am sure but basically, this is the expectation of how people should/expected to be treated in society. If you’re a registered voter you expect your ballot to be counted, if you run a stop sign you expect a ticket, and if you go into a store you expect to be able to shop without security following you. I am sure some might argue that certain groups of people have a higher expectation for their Medium such as wealthy thinking society is here to serve them but those people have an Economic Privilege and often White Privilege (though I have encountered a healthy mix of other races who enjoy that same Economic Privilege here in Silicon Valley... still mostly white).

No. the Medium in society is attributed itself to a social agreement, common sense and good dose of empathy of knowing how you would like to be treated and wanting that for other people. It’s why we observe lines the way we do and get pissed off when someone cuts deciding they are more important than anyone else standing there. It’s also why we take a little joy in seeing someone with Economic or Racial Privilege have to observe the social medium like everyone else. You know what I am talking about the lawyer who makes 400 dollars an hour saying her time is precious therefore everyone else should wait in customer service while she is taken care of first? Yeah... that was a real encounter I had once.

So once we establish that baseline we can start clearly identifying interactions that seemingly exceed what is expected in society (privilege) or what interactions are well under the medium (oppression). This seems like a good as a point as any to recognize that all these examines require the human interaction. Interactions plagued with prejudices and biases for our choices every day. Sometimes someone deviates a small degree over or under a medium because they are having a shit day. If we encounter someone who slips up, I always advocate forgiveness when someone makes a mistake.

Privilege

The problem with Privilege; be it economic, social or racial is that when you’re in it you don't always know it. Sometimes you’re so wealthy you're used to people waiting on you hand and foot, simply look to the Kardashians, Bieber, or Jaden Smith. These are some people who enjoy wealth so much that when they have a small thing go wrong they bitch about it all day on their reality shows.

As a White Male, I try to reflect on the privileges I might have enjoyed. I try to differentiate between moments where I received better service or social interactions because of my skin color (or gender). I realize there is a possibility that I could also be “blind” to certain privileges but it if makes you feel better if there are things I am enjoying that others do not, I have full intention of trying to pull other people up to enjoy that privilege so that it becomes the new societal medium. I am ranting a little...

The clear privileges I have enjoyed have not surprisingly been with police. Of the about dozen encounters I had with Police Officers about none of them resulted in a ticket. One incident resulted in a car being impounded but I was under 18 and didn’t have a license and even then I paid to have it unimpounded ($700 Dollars) and had the infraction removed from my record with a driving school class. You can call it luck perhaps but for the most part, I have never been given a ticket and when seeing how police treat other men my age who happen to be black with disdain, its easy to see why African Americans are pissed off and I can only have a vague understanding of how frustrating that might be for them.

Oppression

The problem with being Systemically Oppressed is that everyone living/existing on the medium seems like they are privileged. This leads to a fair amount of anger, frustration and pain in various communities. While the general topic is focused on Black and White, it does not take much imagination to project that same oppression on the gay/transgender community, women, other non-christ based faiths or other minority groups (Latinos and Middle Eastern specifically in the US).

I myself have had only small encounters with oppression myself, most of them taking place at the airport as my ass seems to get selected for extra security screenings. I am not sure what website I went to, if my beard is to thick or if that month in Indonesia has flagged me in the wrong way but that is a personal experience where I am observing social interactions below the Medium.

This post isn't about me though so let's give a clear example of oppression today. That example is voting in the United States. Many Red States have been adopting strategies to disenfranchise black voters by removing voting stations, requiring ID’s and limiting hours while keeping other voting locations (in white communities) open for normal hours. This isn't an example of White Privilege as this is how voting should be like that for everyone. No, this is white voters enjoying their right to vote, while the black community is being OPPRESSED from having a say in politics. Ok, there might be some white privilege in there but for the most part, its mostly Oppression that we are seeing, yeah?

We see other elements of Oppression in the courts, police interaction, and also pop culture, mostly in the film and television industry... which now that I think about it is also white privilege considering Asian and Indian actors are still trying to break through.

Privilege and Oppression

Most examples share above tend to dabble in both Privilege and Oppression, and as I stated this goes beyond race as sex, economics, and other social qualifiers. I felt compelled none the less to point to politics as a system that both explores a great amount of Privilege and utilizes a great amount of Oppression. Leave it American Politics to show White Wealthy Male Privilege in its full swing while Oppressing Women, Minority Groups, and Non-Christians. It’s easy to see why people don't want to hear from a Straight White Male like me when all these douche bags represent the worst humanity has to offer.

Guess you can say I feel a bit bitter on the fact that I see so many memes on Tumblr telling me to shut the fuck up because I look like them *points to assholes in picture* even though I am on board for a more equitable and equal society. *Slaps Cheeks* Keep things in perspective, Mike!

Coming back to examples of both Privilege and Oppression, another prime example is the police. We look to cities where Stop and Frisk policies exist(ed) and you could see how civil rights were secondary to a police officers ‘gut feeling’ that a black man could have drugs or weapon on them. This is an example of Oppression, clear and simple. On the flip side, you have officers waving on white citizens letting them off with warnings which isn't a bad thing in itself but when the courtesy is ONLY given to fair skinned citizens then it is a problem, it becomes Privilege.

Conclusion

White Privilege is real as fuck. Economic Privilege is real. Social Privilege is real. Depending on your lot in life you might be enjoying a great number of Privileges while others might have lower income bracket, from the wrong ethnic background, and have darker skin having a much rougher go at American life. We, the good fair loving compassionate progressives, should aim to balance these issues out. We need to find the moments where someone is enjoying an unfair privilege (like me not really every getting tickets) and bring me back down so that I have the expectations as everyone else. We also need to find the oppressive interactions (often institutional) and correct them as well and make sure everyone enjoys the same quality of life.

If you enjoy privilege in some form or another you have two options. Either bring yourself down and be held to the same standard as your fellow men (and women) OR start bringing other people up to enjoy the same privilege you do so that it becomes the new medium for society and raises the quality of living for everyone. If you feel compelled to do neither then you might be the problem. Thanks for reading.

Regards, Michael California

NOTE: It’s important to measure subjects like this with data and not anecdotal evidence or experiences. I tend to add a few personal accounts to these sort of posts to better appeal to the emotional side of readers but hard numbers display more of the truth than my personal experiences ever could. Driving While Black is statistically proven in the data where White/Hispanic drivers are pulled over about the same rate but black drivers are stopped in excess. This is also true for Use of Force numbers, Stop and Frisk, Searching of Vehicles and even how the courts decide to process the cases.

Black Men serve 20% longer sentences to their White counterparts charged for the same crime.

Black students make up 18% of preschool enrollments but make up 50% of suspensions.

Applications with ‘Black’ sounding names are 50% more likely to be passed up by employers compared to ‘White’ sounding names.

And this list goes on and on.

If you’re a white guy, who has had a few moments where you pulled over yourself. It is neither a logical or sound argument to say “I have had difficult encounters therefor my experience is the norm and therefore is no white privilege.” Always! Always look to the data and see the numbers for both the state you live in and the country as a whole. Anyone with half a mind to understand statistics can tell there are some major racial biases in our society.

#Black Oppression #White Privilege #Race Politics #Race #Political Theory

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ayearofpike · 5 years

Text

Falling

Tom Doherty Associates, 2007 402 pages, 24 chapters ISBN 978-0-7653-5644-4 LOC: PS3566.I486 F35 2007 OCLC: 73502344 Released March 6, 2007 (per B&N)

Matt Connor has been wronged by the girl he loves. Kelly Fienman has been wronged by the suspect she’s stalking. They’re both out for vengeance, but while Matt is upfront and honest about the stunt he plans to pull, he isn’t really honest with himself about what he actually wants to get — and for her part, Kelly pretends that her need for justice is both moral and absent. When their paths inevitably cross, they’re left with several huge questions: what is right? what is good? do these things intersect? is it OK if they don’t?

(Thanksgiving and a child’s birthday were NOT conducive to A Year of Pike, gang. Let’s see if I can pick it back up here in December.)

I remembered being really happy with this book the first time I read it. Like, OK, Pike is taking it easy on the kidlit, having maybe resigned himself to the understanding that his style no longer fits with popular expectations. Plus, this came probably three years after I’d read a recent predecessor, and a solid five years after I’d BOUGHT one — I got Alosha and The Shaktra out of the library, never read The Yanti until just now, and then I saw Falling at a bookstore sometime in 2008. I read it and I loved it: so unexpected, such power, what a shift in tone and characters, what a strong and solid cliffhanger ending — literally! Surely there exists some kind of excited blog record of me finding this, so long after I’d decided Pike wasn’t for me anymore. After spending entirely too long trawling the depths of my LiveJournal, though, I can’t find one.

And the reread? Eh. As it turned out, I didn’t actually remember very much about this book. Parts of it want to be The Silence of the Lambs (and Pike even nods to that) but it doesn’t have the same power. The rest? So much speculation and estimation left up to the reader to really understand this closed-book antagonist, who is actually quite selfish but we don’t get her perspective. She doesn’t even monologue when she has our hero at literally the end of his rope. And the powerful scene at the end? More like a trickle to a halt, made even weaker by the unnecessary intercutting to the other character’s perspective as she oversees the end of her antagonist’s life. We’ll get there. I don’t know. Maybe I was so excited to get this, and to have a book where a baby’s life and future hangs in the balance right around the same time I was raising my own baby as a new at-home parent, that I overlooked another one of Pike’s letdown endings.

I forgot to talk in the last post about the ISBN shifting to 13 digits. This started in 2007: all new books would have a code that better matched up with international book listing codes. These last two have had both an ISBN-10 and an ISBN-13, I assume because he had both of them slated prior to the change, but I’ve decided to just list the newer code for simplicity’s sake. You can do more research if you feel like it, or even convert back and forth between ISBN-10 and 13. It doesn’t really affect my blog, but it’s a change and I wanted to mention it.

So Falling. It actually could have been a pretty straightforward story, with much of the bulk of the book spent exploring the mental attitudes involved in what it takes to go beyond the law, commit some kind of horrific deed that most people couldn’t imagine. The real problem with this story is that it tries to cram too much into it, and the one crime is so vile and base that it renders our antihero’s misdeed into almost seeming unimportant. But it’s not — Matt’s actions are horrible and indefensible, especially as we don’t actually get his villain’s perspective, no matter what someone else did that was totally gross. (I am so a parent: “I don’t care what Tommy did, you are not to act that way.”)

What the hell does Matt actually do? This is where Falling is good: it keeps us in suspense for the first good quarter of the book as we try to understand his plan and how it’s going to adversely affect the girl. Because of course his object of vengeance is a girl — the one who just dumped him, actually. She didn’t “just dump him,” though; she strung him along as “the only one” while she was still in contact with her rich “ex,” who she is now married to and has an unborn child with, a child that could only have been conceived while Matt was still seeing her. And it’s not his, it can’t be his, because she never let him stick it in. So Matt is going to fake his own death by crashing a personal aircraft in the depths of the Pacific Ocean. Meanwhile, he will parachute to a waiting boat, anchored in a shallower area, and assume a new identity until he can carry out the second part of his plan: kidnap the baby, months later, after everyone has forgotten his involvement with the woman.

Kelly is one of the FBI agents assigned to the kidnapping case. She’s actually just back on the job after a tragic and devastating incident with a previous suspect that has taken out a good chunk of her GI system. And this is where Falling has problems: this second story, totally unrelated to and unnecessary for understanding Matt’s motivations, is clung to and pushed on us constantly through the whole book, even as it threatens to be a more engaging tale of horrific glee. Like, I get why Pike didn’t just write this one (out of concerns of being accused of ripping off Thomas Harris) but this is really TWO suspense stories, and he hasn’t properly fleshed out the tale of Kelly and the Sex Murderin’ English Teacher.

Because that’s what’s happened: three-four months before the kidnapping, she gets pulled into an investigation on a dude who has made videos of himself having extremely consensual sex with rich women, tying them to the beds, confronting them about their obvious infidelity to their rich husbands, and then killing them by pouring corrosive acid on (and then INTO) their chests. She has a Ph.D in mythology and literature, which they need because the dude is throwin’ out all sorts of esoteric references and they think that knowing them will help them track him down. Of course, Kelly has gone into FBI work because she wants to be a hero, and so she breaks like EVERY protocol in investigating the trail of these obscure Asian myths back to either Ohio State or Ohio University, depending on which page you look at. (Does Pike know there’s a difference?) All the evidence points to a doctoral student, but it’s been manipulated that way by his faculty advisor, who is doing the sex murders because he caught his wife cheating with the dude. And now he’s going to kill Kelly the same way, only he hasn’t counted on her being a totally buff FBI agent who actually MOVES THE ENTIRE BED SHE’S TIED TO and makes the acid splash on the ropes, which she can now break to get at her gun and cap the fucker in the back of the neck. Of course, the acid has also splashed on her stomach and eaten into her organs, hence the GI problems. And also her husband is pissed that she went to such crazy lengths and endangered herself, to the point where if she goes back to the FBI he’s not willing to hang around and watch her kill herself. So he moves out and takes their young daughter with him.

I KNOW. This is a WAY more fuckin’ interesting story than oh, boo hoo, she was stringing me along so I’m gonna kidnap her baby. It’s too bad that he drags this shit out and doesn’t give it more consideration. But as with so much literature, we gotta accept the tragic male antihero versus the strong female agent who is still trying to figure out the boundaries of her moral code.

Yeah, there’s still more story. Matt hires a nanny under the table to help take care of the baby, and she thinks they look alike. You hear this all the time as a parent, even if your kid looks NOTHING like you — but Matt’s curious, so he does a mail-away DNA test and it comes back unquestionably that he’s actually the father. So now he knows he can’t just bail on the kid like he was planning, but he needs money to raise him. So he sets up an intricate ransom for his ex and her husband, who has money (of course he has money; why do you think she married him?). Matt makes the dude put $3 million in cash and jewels into a bag, then chase all over metro LA until he finally ends up taking a boat out to Catalina Island. But halfway there, he instructs the husband to load the dough into a weighted box and throw it overboard. Because of course Matt is a scuba diver — this is a Pike book, after all. He retrieves the money and then uses a personal propeller to zip off underwater. And the FBI, which was so prepared for an island drop or a boat handoff, is caught with their pants all the way down.

Of course Kelly is furious, but also curious. She remembers seeing a picture of Matt in the woman’s desk, and asks about the circumstances of his death. It seems that the day Matt’s plane crashed, he had been on Catalina — finishing up his scuba certification. So now Kelly has connected the dots, in a way only a Pike heroine can, but she can’t imagine where to find the dude. But she knows someone who can: a certain Sex Murderin’ English Teacher, who is still alive but paralyzed from the neck down, who knows better than anyone Kelly knows how a twisted male mind works. He grasps the intricacies of the situation immediately and advises Kelly to follow the woman, because there’s no way she’s unaware.

Kelly doesn’t believe it, but sure enough the chick leads her directly to Matt and the baby, set up in a fancy apartment not even that far from the rich husband’s house. It seems that Matt felt like he had all the leverage he needed to get the girl back, now that he had the baby and some money. But it’s not enough — she knows that the dude isn’t ever going to let her just go, and that the only way to be totally free to be back with Matt is if they kill her husband. So Matt, against his better judgment, starts coming up with a plan to murder a dude: drive his boat to Catalina, get him super drunk, and then push him overboard on the way back. The girl, weirdly, insists that Matt has to be on board and actually do the pushing. Which makes Kelly, listening in on her bugs planted in the apartment, start to think that maybe she’s the actual monster, even though Matt has faked his own death and then kidnapped her son. So she affects her own secret identity and moves into the complex to get closer to the situation but also to try to keep Matt from doing something he’ll regret.

Matt actually has no intention of killing the husband. His plan was pretty much always to tag along on the boat and then get the girl to fake her OWN death, and then they can be free and alone and untraceable. But but but, the girl objects, if she is dead and not the husband, then she won’t be heir to all his money! But Matt flatly refuses to push the dude. So she goes ahead and does it. Unlucky for her, they’re being tailed by — who else? — Kelly the Hero, who now has enough circumstantial evidence to arrest the woman for murder. Her father-in-law bails her out of jail, raising more weird questions, and then she manages to convince Matt to help her jump bail and escape with all her worldly possessions. They make it to Utah the first night, but the ten minutes Matt runs out to buy diapers and formula is long enough for a dude to bust in and tie his girl to the bed and be looming over her with a beaker full of acid when he gets back.

Holy shit, right? By now Matt knows who Kelly is and has gotten her backstory, and he knows that she’s willing to let him slide on the whole kidnap kerfuffle, so he calls her with this weird coincidence. But there’s no way it could be SMET, who is totally paralyzed! But Kelly now fears for HIS ex-wife’s life, and flies back to Ohio to do another check on this whole twisted clan. The best thing she can think of is to do a home stakeout with the lady and her new man, the grad student she was cheating with. Only — uh-oh — turns out the dude is in cahoots with SMET the whole time! His whole life, in fact: Cheatin’ Grad Student is SMET’s little brother! Their mother was also a cheater, and died of complications from their dad pushing her down the stairs after he found out. But wait! It seems that SMET actually did the killing, replacing her cardiac epinephrine shot with vinegar, so when she seized in her hospital bed it was the attempt to save her that killed her. Please note: SMET did this as a motherfucking TEN YEAR OLD. From there, he realized the thrill of destroying loose women and employed his little brother in helping to deface and dispose of the bodies.

So it only follows that he’d employ the dude to lure his wife, and was devastated when she bit, and that has turned into more killin’. In fact, it was CGS who was in Utah the night before, on his brother’s orders, ready to take down another terrible, cheating, murdering, bail-jumping lady. But this kid is even more debased than his brother, and is just going to rape and dismember Kelly while his new bae is knocked out from drugs in her dinner. Luckily she has her own syringe of cardiac vinegar, uncovered in her prior search of the dad’s house, and she manages to stab it into CGS’s heart just in the nick of time.

What’s up with Matt and the On-the-Lam Family? No big, they’re just doing some leisurely rock climbing now that they’re free from dead rich husbands or acid murderers. This, it turns out, is Matt’s one final big test to his girl’s fidelity — and she fails big time, cutting his rope and leaving him stranded on the edge of a cliff while he’s rappelling. But Matt’s been here before, because he’s an experienced and expert rock climber (because what the FUCK ELSE can this asshole be good at), and he manages to free-climb up the side of the cliff and catch his girl as she’s packing up the car. So now it’s her turn to be stuck on a cliff ledge, until he can get to a pay phone and call the cops on her for jumping bail. And we’re all like, good god, dude, it took you fuckin’ well long enough.

Of course we can’t just be done, right? Kelly has a sex murderin’ English teacher to revenge. She makes it look like a suicide, unscrewing part of his wheelchair and scraping his wrist veins against it so he bleeds out. But before he goes, he wants to talk to Matt, because they’re not so different, and he’d like to congratulate a fellow charismatic criminal for getting away with his misdeeds. And then he dies, and Kelly swears off FBI work so that maybe she can go back to her family and actually appreciate it and be appreciated by them.

Um ... what? But yeah, that’s the end of Falling. Either one of these stories would have been better served by itself, unless he could have given us Kelly’s necessary backstory in the beginning rather than trying to make everything happen at the same time. It comes across as excessive and unnecessary, and makes the ending fall flat. And when you have a blah ending, it doesn’t matter how vibrant the characters have been, or how real and horrific their struggles, or how much you sympathized with them throughout the narrative. All you remember is the “um ... what?”

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rennyji · 3 years

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July 13th tweets...

So I like all music that sounds good. From Rap to Becky G singing her song “Shower.”

Now, regarding Rap, some of the wording can make things awkward. I was blasting 99 problems remix from Jay Z feat Linkin Park. While listening, I’m at a red light in Tuckahoe. An elderly Caucasian woman walks across the street in front of my car, and Jay Z yells, “Ive got 99 problems but a b*tch ain’t one…” I can only imagine what goes through that old lady’s mind.

now from jay z’s perspective, in what older white men would call street language, when you think about it, from that one line, hes saying he has a slew of problems, but he’s so good or suave with women that, that part of his life is set…so in the spirit of expressions among some men like: “b*tches be trippin…” , it’s a crude way of referring to women for the sake of what is understood and accepted as cool.

Regardless,”99 problems” and the Linkin park remix really stimulate you or is invigorating. So it’s hard not to listen to it for the yelling and the tunes.

Then there’s DMX, God bless his soul.

While he sings”X Gon give it to ya” or even “Lord Give Me A Sign”,he also sings a song (I forget the name…oh yeah…it’s called “X is Coming” by DMX), where one of the lyrics is about how someone crossed him, pushes him, and how he lets his rage and anger manifest in threats. How does he express this? Well for one thing, he says he’ll shoot this guys wife…ummm ok. But then he says, if the guy who messed with him, has a daughter, and she’s 15 (he specifically mentions her as 15), DMX says, he, a grown man, will rape the 15 year old daughter. I mean WTF?! But maybe like poetry, you can’t take it literally, and you gotta see “what he means” or “where this hate?! Is coming from.” To rape a 15 year old daughter, words can’t express his hate for the dad or the offender, so he chooses those words.

“Hes basically saying, if you f*k with him, he won’t stop short of killing you. But he wants to take it a step further and say he is so spiteful, that he will screw you and ur entire family. Point being, don’t f*k with him.”

Even then, though I get where he’s going with lyrics, isn’t raping a 15 year old, pedophilia? Where there’s a Will, there’s a way, and there’s always more than one way to do something or say something. If he wants to express hate, why is this grown man talking that way about 15 year old girls?! I felt awkward with the elderly white woman walking in front of my car at Jay Z saying, I got 99 problems, but a b*tch ain’t one. It would be humiliating if that elderly white woman walked by my car while DMX expresses his hate toward haters, by talking about raping 15 year olds. I mean geez, WTF?! On a comical note, based on “what’s” said and “how” it’s said, theres the song “Last Night”by Diddy and Keyshia Cole. You gotta wonder how Keyshia Cole goes along with Diddy monologuing at the end of the song with :

“

Hello

Hey what's up?

I've been tryin' to reach you all night

That shit ain't funny not picking up the mutha fuckin' phone

Better stop fucking playing with a n*gga's feelings like that

You know how much I love you though right?

But for those couple of seconds though,

When I couldn't get in touch with you.

I'm ready to come over your house and shoot that mutha fucker up

You fuckin' dumb bitch

You better fuckin' not be there when I get over that house

[laughing]

That's really how it goes down right?”

Then there’s rap like from the artist, “Nas.” He has a song called “I can.”

It’s inspirational, it has a message, the tune or background music just needs to be catchier.

These rap songs need catchier, classier, diction along with trending or catchy tunes/music.

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And then there’s Eminem, with “The Way I Am” song.

Part of the lyrics go:

“I don't know you, and no, I don't owe you a mothafuckin' thing

I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think

I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick if you tempt me

My tank is on empty, no patience is in me

And if you offend me, I'm lifting you ten feet in the air

I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you

Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit

I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe

I'm tired of all you, I don't mean to be mean

But that's all I can be, it's just me

And I am whatever you say I am

If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?

In the paper, the news, every day I am

Radio won't even play my jam

'Cause I am whatever you say I am

If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?

In the paper, the news, every day I am, huh

I don't know, it's just the way I am”

While I’m about networking, by my core nature of a Libran (only inanimate object in the zodiac: the scales of justice), while I’m about people coming to me, talking to me, me talking to them, I hear this song and wonder about instances where the orchestrators filter what I’m saying or use it for their ends. I think about the instructions given to people under the delusion of “wtf?!” Assisting me?! Did anyone think of talking to me and telling me what’s going on, instead of the signs in a delusional scenario that is the definition of conspiracies and leaning toward what some doctors would see as paranoid schizophrenia?! I mean WTF?! So there’s that part about not owing anything to anyone. If ur just a stranger randomly eavesdropping into my life, then until you speak to me, I don’t know you, I’m not ur friend NOR ur enemy- I mean that’s reality, that’s what the song gets at, that’s how human relationships start out.

I’m writing this, not because I’m presently mad, but because I’m relating to words in a rap song by, a somebody: Eminem. I’m nobody, minding his own business. They blame Eminem for being mean or aggressive with lyrics. But in my “situation” and adult years, I see a guy talking about dealings with human nature, while trying to fix things with his wife, and do everything he can for his daughter. Ive said before, anger can be a source of fuel for ur goals or to get a point across. I mean, under this retarded “make him a role model type hero cr*p, for the no culture or no British style class that is America”, the orchestrators like to press my buttons. The extent they go with pushing buttons is -I’m not just saying this- a type of evil that the mind just can’t digest or grasp. That’s a bit of info my brain cannot process, grasp, or comprehend. There’s something worse than the teenage type sounds projected or whatever it is that others hear- I keep saying that.

But it’s like Gospel, they have eyes, but don’t see, ears: and don’t hear…

the orchestrators you know about, are so arrogant with thinking they control every aspect of my life, they need to consider where they’re not. They push me, and like Eminem’s rap, “push me/tempt me, then I’m lifting you ten feet in the air…”

I went for the path of computer science and engineering instead of being a doctor like my brother. I would joke to people ages ago, “I don’t have the ‘patience’ to deal with ‘patients.’ ” People are so complicated…language difficulties, talking to non native English speakers, cultural differences,filters they have in their heads/biases, stereotypes they believe in- I mean what a headache. The orchestrators have people believing I’m friendless loser, while they actively keep people away from me. But in the words of Eminem, whatever f*ers, “I am whatever you say I am…”

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In “Gangstas paradise” by Coolio, there’s one part of the song that goes “you don’t know what’s going on in the kitchen…” it’s incredible what speaks to you in ur adult years…cuz clearly I’m thug…I mean even with all the mind cr*p and technology, not because of ego or arrogance or pride, you and the orchestrators don’t know what’s truly going on in my head, in my house, wherever.

Like rap, I am the meaning behind the lyrics.

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From The original Hulk/1st ever version of the Hulk movie soundtrack, great themes or scores. Also a great song called “set me free”

“Hey Mama” - one of my favorite songs from Nicki Minaj to blast out while driving…

Great Running music - “Confident” - I think by Demi Lovato … another song of hers that I like “Really Don’t Care”: like that part of the song with the words and background music to “even if the stars and moon collide…”

I miss Beyoncé in Destiny’s Child with songs like “Survivor” … I feel it gets the same point across as DMX’s “X is Coming” without some of the questionable ideas in his lyrics…

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Haiku Asian Bistro in Bronxville lets you eat a quality variety of East Asian food in a New York City feel…about the NYC feel, I dunno, sitting by the window, watching the traffic of people walk by, along with cars, through those windows, in that bar type low light setting: make you feel or made me feel like I’m in a restaurant in the city…going on a 2 month diet as I’m hideously obese, so while I miss and crave sesame chicken with fried rice, I hope you enjoy quality food as such…

Speaking of which…my family and me got used to sesame chicken over general Tsos chicken, when craving Chinese…I feel everyone in America, including my New York and Texas based cousins, always order General Tso Chicken over Sesame Chicken…I mean why?! Who started that trend?! Though essentially the same, I prefer and am an advocate of Sesame Chicken.

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Though I’m obsessed with leaving the AC on all day/everyday because of the cool energizing air and the sound of the breeze type air blow, I recently found that my TaoTronics standing tower fan isn’t a bad alternative. I think I have the TaoTronics desk lamp too. I believe I have their standing tower heater but just didn’t have the motivation or energy to try it out…probably as awesome as the desk light and fan…I’m thinking, from my own experience, TaoTronics, and a lot of Asian made products are good stuff or sourced in great ideas. With some of the products I’ve run into recently, what I’m realizing is this:

China now has some great ideas and products, but sometimes you have to return or exchange those awesome ideas because some things were manufactured differently or as defective. Maybe they don’t have the money for better manufacturing plants…I think people should invest there. I mean they have some great ideas and technology for compression massagers for just about everywhere in your body.

Now proud Americans may not like this, as well as what I’ll say next: with the products I’ve encountered recently, America gives off the feel or notion that everything is manufactured identically and the places where things are manufactured are quality factories…but here’s the part probably not liked: from my searches on Amazon, it would seem America lacks the ideas , or innovation, or imagination, that the Chinese are indicating in their products and technology-I mean check out the head massager helmet from Breo. Helps with falling asleep. It’s from a Chinese manufacturer and looks futuristic and the concept works. My only complaint about it was, I had to go through 4 returns, before getting a helmet that was free of manufacturing defects (i.e. some you couldn’t see thru the helmet, some had a part moving inside when moving the helmet up and down, some overheated on one side of the heated helmet while the opposite side was left cold, etc.). It’s like Doc Browns attitude in Back to the Future. With respect to something not looking like it works, 1950s Doc Brown says “no wonder…it’s made in Japan.” Marty McFly responds, “watiya talking about Doc?!…all the best things are made in Japan.” People may feel like Doc Brown about Chinese products right now, but the hard work and imagination of the Chinese will find themselves in Marty’s way of seeing things. I mean these people, be it Chinese, Korean, all East Asian born Asians, tackle every nook and crannie in their hard work. They need opportunities. Not so sure about the ABC’s or the American born East Asians, but those born in Asia and immigrating here, at least people Ive bumped into (as I’m not gonna generalize), they really give their jobs 110%. (To my fellow ABC’s, by Indian standards, I’m an A-B-C-“D” or American Born Confused Desi, so nothing malicious intended, its just in admiration over our immigrant counterparts. They are the living definitions of the “immigrant work ethic.”). I recently went for a men’s pedicure after seeing Will Smith talk about it on an episode of the fresh prince of bel air. The woman who attended to me was Chinese and I just couldn’t help but notice how much detail and energy she puts into the task. I also once had a Chinese masseuse. I was sore all over and wanted to try the “firm” massage. Ive never experienced so much effort, force, and energy. It makes you want to friend people like that. Pride aside, I think a lot can be learned from their discipline, hard work, imagination, and ideas.

But a thought…

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So, in my search for non coffee based sources of energy that last long and don’t make you crash, I found things like “Kion Coffee,” Trader Joe’s “Well Rested Tea” (as it turns out Trader Joe’s sells its own interesting varieties of teas), the $4.99 or $3.99 “Rebbl”brand Plant Based Energy and/or Protein Drinks, and the $2.99 version of Smart Water Renew. Smart Water Renew is composed of dandelions (yeah, freakin’ dandelions give energy!!!) and lemon flavor. But it is ridiculously expensive for one bottle and isn’t available at Shop Rite. I found it at Wegmans in - I think- Harrison, NY, through the InstaCart app. As dandelions seem to be the key, I typed dandelion in the Amazon app, and realize there is a dandelion tea…I hope it gives the same focus as the Smart Water Renew…I mean the tea you can buy in bulk…why are the healthy coffee alternatives expensive?!-I’m assuming it’s because people don’t know about these things and not enough people buy them…

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Perhaps u’ve heard, “Why worry about tomorrow, when each day has its own concerns.” It’s said, look how God clothes the flowers of the field-that not even King Solomon, in all his splendor, was dressed so beautifully. Are we not more than flowers?!, as is asked. My grandmother would say, when career concerns were expressed, that if God made a person with a mouth, He will also give every mouth created, food to eat-to elaborate: everyone is provided for. I mean “Seek and you will find.” Put in some effort, however so, at least through a prayer or a hopeful/positive thought. I believe everyone, in life, gets what they need, for all that their respective lives throw at them.

Some people may have more things in appearance, but you may have less because you’re that much innately stronger and don’t require as much. While I’m no one, as a small example, since I was in Kindergarten, I could never sit comfortably with my legs folded. The position in yoga is called sukhasana. As a need grew, when I was older, to sit in that position for yoga and meditation, I feel life led me to find the “Alexia Meditation seat” and the means to buy that expensive seat, enabling me to sit long hours with my legs folded. I feel, if we have some faith and do our part, God or The Universe, will provide for us and take care of our needs/desires through direct means, or indirectly, by giving us the needed mental faculties and abilities to achieve our desires.

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