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fadelikeclouds · 11 months

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Diving into Tai’s mind: actions do not speak louder than words

First of all, I will say that I was upset with Tai at the end of episode 10. I am fine that Tai didn’t want to talk to Patts outside on the street. He was probably shocked and frightened by Patts angry outburst, and he wanted to put some time and distance between them so that they could cool off and talk more rationally later. What I’m less fine with is that Tai still refuses to say anything after Patts shows up at his door. And yeah, Patts probably shouldn’t have shown up drunk outside Tai’s door, but he is in pain and needs some comfort, and he tells Tai this. So why doesn’t Tai say anything to reassure Patts?

And now we come to the reason I am writing this. I don’t like staying upset at people, so I try to understand them. After thinking about things I am still frustrated with Tai, but a little less so. Here are the results of my musings.

Tai has been struggling with his parent’s divorce for over 2 years now. It’s easy to say that, but what does it mean? He is a romantic, and seeing his ideal of love crumble before him was frightening because it made him doubt the existence of love and happiness. Soulmates guarantee nothing. Love doesn’t last. Families can break apart. That’s a pretty dismal view of the world. Despair is never easy to cope with. He had his faith in love broken, so of course he wouldn’t talk to his soulmate, because why create a relationship that will only break your heart?

Then he sees Patts, and he starts to hope again. But he’s still hesitant. He’s still scared. He knows that there is no guarantees in relationships, soulmates or not. This is how he goes into his relationship with Patts, fighting against his doubts and fears the whole way. Throughout the beginning Patts is patient, kind, charming, and Tai begins to be more open to the idea of a relationship with this soulmate of his. Then the whole situation with Nara happens, and his fears and doubts about love come up again.

He talked with Nara; he knows how much she loved Patts, and he even cheered her on when he didn’t know Patts was her ex. They honestly loved each other, and seeing them kiss makes him question, again, what makes a relationship last. Confused and panicked, he decides to talk a walk to the Doi Mae Pliang in an effort to figure everything out... which doesn’t work. But he talks with Patts after he finds him in the ditch, and after being reassured that Patts does love him and would choose to love him even without being soulmates his mind clears. He knows he loves Patts, and all of Patts words and actions make him believe that Patts reciprocates that love. So he (nonverbally) agrees to officially date him when Patts asks him the next morning. At a glance, what’s the big deal? That’s only natural. This is a romance, of course they’re going to start dating. But as a character, this choice means that he is willing to face all his fears about being in a relationship, a big shift for the guy who ran away from his issues by remaining silent for 2 years. To be clear, I don’t think his fears go away, but Tai has the resolve that this relationship is worth it, that Patts is worth the risk of heartbreak.

And even then, he’s not ready to go the final step and have sex with Patts just yet. That is another level of vulnerability that Tai eases himself into, something that he doesn’t take lightly. In this episode, when he says he’s ready, to him it’s another way of showing how serious and committed he is to this relationship. He loves Patts, and is willing to face all the fears that comes with being in a relationship with his soulmate.

All of this is a big deal to Tai. These are very large steps that he has taken forward as someone who chose to very litterally suffer in silence every time it rained. Now, does he talk about this with Patts? Not in any great detail. That’s part of the problem.

To Tai it’s not even a question of whether to choose Patts or Lomfon. He loves Patts. All of his actions show just how much Patts means to him. And I think it hurts Tai that Patts doesn’t understand him. Because in Tai’s mind, he’s crossed oceans of fears, fought uphill battles against his skepticism, just to get here. Having Patts doubt Tai’s love makes him feel that Patts belittles all the pain and fear Tai’s endured to get to this point in the relationship. And that hurts because in a relationship, you want to be understood by your partner so that you can share in the joys and pains with them.

But what Tai doesn’t see is that Patts is in pain right now. Patts is scared and needs some words of reassurancs because he is human. He has his own fears and insecurities. He watched as his last relationship fell apart because he has a “soulmate”, something entirely out of his control. And with the appearance of a second soulmate, having Tai lie about seeing Lomfon, catching them at the perfectly wrong moment to see them kiss, Patts loses it. He’s angry and afraid because again, he could lose someone he loves because of this soulmate thing that he has no control over. That fear grips him, and when we’re like that, we can’t think calmly. Sometimes we need the support of others to help us through the dark avenues of the mind.

But instead of helping him, Tai feels like he’s said everything Patts is asking him to say, and he’s upset that Patts can’t hear him. And I get that. It’s frustrating when you feel like you’ve been saying something over and over again, and the other person just doesn’t seem to get it. What’s the point in trying to communicate when nothing you say will be understood? It feels as if all your efforts are just futile. But communication is a two way street. Being understood is an important part of a relationship, but it is equally important to try to understand the other person, which is what Tai is missing here. Tai has spoken through his actions, but what Patts needs are words. He needs to hear that Tai does love him, that he does choose him. We say that actions speak louder than words, but at times words are absolutely necessary.

#la pluie #la pluie ep 10 #many other people have written great things about these characters these are just my 2 cents #which ended up being a little bit long for just 2 cents...#As frustrating as this whole thing is #I like seeing flawed characters #because people are flawed and it’s nice to see that acknowledged in stories and media #It’s important to remember that imperfect people deserve to be happy too #and that it’s possible to make any sort of relationship work even if we say the wrong thing sometimes #People make mistakes #that doesn’t mean they are a mistake #Now we just have to wait two weeks to see how they decide to resolve this whole thing 😭#precipitating thts

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hellofears · 9 days

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having issues with men, the associations the instant distrust, which i dont like i dont want it i want things to be different, just all of it so much just the dynamic i have the relationship all of it the way the world is atleast online and having a younger brother. I wouldn't trade him for the world, I try and talk to him where I can and will continue to do so i adore him but i fear. i believe in him i want joy for him. I fear that his peers will feed him fckn brainrot and it scares me. not even just that he'll fall into that thinking that his fuckn upstanding that his unwillingness to follow ppl will hurt him. crazy shit at schools, like why tf r ppl dying kids young teens killing eaachother with knives? ??I don't want to loose him i don't want to see him loose who he is and the heart that he has i don't and i hope he rises above it all and will continue to. i feel like im stating what he has to be or smth but all i could ask for is his wellbeing, respect, humanity, that he treats himself well know what he deserves and has some sense of self, some gravity. I feel like shit sometimes for this aspect that i'm concerned that i just idk, i dont like the whole 'dont disappoint me' thing he owes nothing to me other than basic human decency and respect, hes a reason why i live but to i just that intrusive thought of there is no different the hell u think of is real about men to someone i hold so fckn dear to in a way show me their fckn fuckery its idk, like another? it'd hurt me, it'd hurt me bad.

i've never understood men or boys, amab, who go on about their connection or like protectiveness of their sisters of their mother but treat other women like shit like their familiars aren't women? you don't want to fuck them so its different? what is it like just whats the difference why does it have to pertain to you for you to care? do you care or do you see them as an extension? is it a personality trait for you? a 'lover boy' thing? a signal to women, women u imagine u want and is going to be 'ur woman' but u cant even like visualize them in a way that doesnt pertain to your sexual interests? a signal so people can say oh he loves his mother so hes good to go and prime? a 'mummys boy' ? are they not real women just because u dont feel that sort of way? talking about women that way with your friends? do i have to bring up the fact those same people could date your sister etc for you to care? those people could make the kids that surround your kids, your daughter. idk.

its like okay u want sex so u respect them less? did no one hear dont bite the hand that feeds you? what the fuck is going on. you cant fuck them so its all good? the demeaning-ness? lack of gravity, venom is just rapid, vapid

#*txt🗣️#real world issues #i instantly think of counter points before i say anything especially online and i hate it because its like im accustomed to ppl being accus #atory. at being contrary. shitting on vulnerability. shitting on emotions. shitting on hhumanity. shitting on the ability to care.#women can be pieces of shit men can queer folk can i can be you can be to me theres an ability just as people and the world of choice that #-e have. im not saying everyones on the brink of doing the worst and makes a choice not to either if ur going through that u need to seek #help or some sort of sincere dialogue well and truly. but the world around me has made me who i am just as much as my reaction. not all etc #is a no brainer. ppl dont have a neon sign on their forehead. its understandable why the caution has been fckn drilled into so many afab so #many women in the hearts of many and thats hurt fear and absolute rage simmering anger for bs. i understand proventitive cautions to ppl #especially those who tend to be the direct target demographic but to drill in fear to woman to afab not even just on a personal level imsur #everyones experience is different on that front and their thoughts but on a society level and then take no action to then be like atleast t #my knowledge or its just not fckn working bitch its crickets. men should be able to feel safe enough to share their fears and worries to be #vulnerable but that isn't coddling bs and pointing the fingers at women at afab. theres weight in the way both sexes have been socialized #its cause and effect i refuse that it can't be helped. i refuse it. i reject it. thats not me discrediting or trying to come at gender(s)#at ppls gender identity etc. i mean everything makes us who we are. its all part of a journey. ones sex doesn't invalidate such a thing.#humans are so complex to say someones just pulling shit out their ass for the giggles is wild. no matter what it rings true for people #its not for us to choose for eachother we don't choose what others want to share we can't decide how someone else feels we can't read them-#back a book they feel like they've never heard or is bs and give them the finger. u can't tell someone they're the authour and they didn't #write the book or they didn't hire you or agree and want u to write it for them? ur not a ghostwriter bitch ur writing perception #i mean the way we're brought up the way society has become accustomed it effects results its a world in of itself made #to no fruitful benefit atleast to me for any party. when desire grips you at the throat when you allow your will you allow your every whim #the desire isnt even desire anymore. now you're creating a loop you're creating a possibility for a life with no balance #if men are so upstanding they aren't like one another they aren't the bad ones why is the refusal to move forward and write past men up #write them wrong feel so heavy or resound so heavily atleast to me. write for better because you're better. know you're better.#excitement as it once was turns into not enough then again and again. and the core issue even thbere i care for other parties responsibilit #relationships are a back and forth dont choose for others what they want dont decide for others. ask them.#u shouldn't have to constantly prove ur different but heres the thing if in ur life those who know you atleast if u have walked the road #u speak of the valiant road you've trecked supposedly there'd be nothing to prove. you've walked it. if a new person comes along you dont #need effort to show you have basic respect for another. and if u dont have that respect dont get mad at those who dont want u in their live #u took yourself out their market. life is a in moment custom experience. buckle up. not me talking about love like a business worker or smt

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thelikesoffinn · 8 months

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„Astarion ending as the Vampire Ascendant is the correct ending for him, because it is what he wants.”

That is a claim I’ve been seeing pop up more and more often these days. And I think it’s both a very bold and a very odd claim to make.

But first things first: Hello, I’m a licensed social worker! So far, I’ve worked with children, refugees and youths with behavioural issues stemming from bullying and or abuse.

Please be aware that I will be mentioning different kinds of abuse, coping mechanisms, and victim/abuser relationships. If any of this is difficult for you, don’t force yourself through it. My jabbering about a traumatised vampire is not worth your wellbeing, not ever.

I will, however try to stick to Astarion and not use other examples. If, in any case, I do use a non-Astarion example, I’ll add a warning beforehand so that you can skip the part. And I’ll make it clear what will be discussed in the next bit, so that you have a chance to skip it entirely.

This is an effort to make this as accessible as possible for everyone that wants to indulge on a mad woman’s rambling – and I know there’s a few people that like this sort of stuff!

And, uh, there's obviously spoilers for all three acts. Serious spoilers, even.

Before I can get into the whole ‘why Astarion didn’t really want to ascend,’ we need to understand him a little more. And to understand this pretty boy’s brain, we first need to understand the gist of what we’re talking about when we throw around the word ‘abuse.’

“Abuse” is when someone is treated with cruelty, violence, or neglect – often to bad effect – on a regular basis. Repetitively. Check’s out for Astarion, I’d say, but we all knew that already. I mean, if one thing was obvious, it was this.

1. Astarions Abuse

Next we need to look at what kind of abuse Astarion faced over his long years of torment, seeing as different types of abuse will have different effects on the victim.

Not that that is anything we have to worry about with him – Astarion won the abuse lottery, to put it bluntly. In a horrible game of fate, he got everything. He himself indirectly mentions all the types of abuse he faced, albeit never using the correct terms.

The first we properly notice – fitting, seeing as it is often the most obvious form of abuse – is the physical abuse. Astarions scars are probably the biggest tell Larian could shove down our throats, only underlined by Astarion’s tale about the night itself. About how Cazador ‘misspelled something’ every time he flinched or screamed and had to do ‘many corrections. On top of this, Cazador locked Astarion up for months on end and tortured him – or had him tortured – on a regular basis both as a rite and as a punishment.

Next up, we have the fact that Astarion was forced to basically prostitute himself repeatedly. This is what we call sexual exploitation.

“I spent two hundred years using my body to lure pretty things back for my Master.” – Act 2

Two hundred years is a long time, filled with great many people. Now, we don’t know how many of those people actually tapped into the sexual exploitation and how many he could just lure back with other means, but the fact that it happened a lot is undeniable.

Next we have a form of abuse that we often disregard in adults: Neglect. It sounds odd, I know, saying that a fully grown adult was neglected. They can care for themselves, can they not?

Well. Yes and no.

Adult neglect is proceeded by the condition that one adult has to lean on another adult to fulfil their needs for whatever reason. This could be anything, from disability to income-based issues.

Seeing as Astarion had absolutely nothing, while Cazador had everything, we can assume this was the case. Cazador had the house, the money, the power. Astarion owns but one pair of clothes, assumedly, that he has fixes over and over again. Fair to say, that’s pretty neglectful. (And it’s one more reason to shower the guy in pretty armour and camp clothes. Go ham, people.)

Last we have the form of abuse we actually get to witness later in the game – emotional abuse.

Once again, it’s undeniable that this happened. Especially since we’re all seeing it in the flesh upon meeting Cazador in his crypt.

“Have you no respect for yourself?”

“I strove for perfection in all things. Even those as imperfect as you.”

“A pity you amounted to so little, despite my efforts.”

“A pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything.”

All Act 3, Crypt

Here we have just a few examples of things Cazador throws in his face. It’s like reading a textbook on emotional abuse, this one (and it’s definitely a reason to throw hands).

Blaming the victim, keeping their sense of self and their self-worth as tiny as possible to make them cower and flee. A true classic.

This pretty much shows that Astarion suffered all forms of abuse we commonly see and it is implied – once again by Astarion himself – that at least a few of those instances were ritualistic.

Now, what does that mean exactly? Well, I fear I need to use a real example here, so please skip the next paragraph.

Ritualistic doesn’t refer to a proper ritual – it can, but that’s mostly a thing for those in a cult. So, we’re not necessarily talking about a ‘Vampire Ascendent Ritual’. A husband, beating his wife every evening after his third bottle of beer is also called ritual abuse. It happens regularly. It is part of a routine. Both parties know what will happen.

I can’t find the exact quote, so I’m working of my memory here, but at one point he said that when Cazador invited him to eat and he said yes, he would be served a putrid rat. If he said no, he’d be beaten.

The way it was phrased made it clear that it happened more than once and that Astarion clearly knew what would happen. So, this can be classified as ritualistic abuse.

2. A Note on Conditioning and Compliance

By default, abuse victims are conditioned to behave a certain way or in a certain fashion. This is a natural response to avoid further abuse.

In Astarion, the thing we see most often is his inherent need to please. Not literally, he doesn’t mind being an arsehole. But he initially feels the need to follow Tav’s orders, even if they go against his own wishes.

This can be clearly seen in the conversation with Araj Oblodra. Astarion very clearly doesn’t want to bite her. He doesn’t. But he will do so, if Tav tells him to. This behaviour is not conscious – he doesn’t know why he does it, he just does – and it is to be expected. This is how he kept himself save for two centuries, so of course he will fall back into his usual pattern when the pressure is high.

This goes hand in hand with the fact that most abuse victims don’t fight. Maybe initially, but not after long term abuse. Especially not after two fucking centuries.

This is true in Astarion – offered by his ‘siblings’ during act 3 and unhappily acquiesced by the man himself. Astarion stopped fighting and, once again implied, cowered, and did as he was told in order to survive.

3. The Astarion we know and love

Obviously, all that abuse does have an impact on our vampire boyfriend. He shows various common signs of abuse and just like with the forms of abuse, Astarion raked every coping mechanism he could find. (Not really, but it feels like it.) It’s also important to note that nearly all of the following things happen inwardly. Astarion is not one of the victims, that tries to rationalise and minimise the actions of his abuser. Quite the opposite, actually.

I’ll note from the beginning, that rationalisation will not be covered in this bit, as most examples will be important later on. But he definitely does it.

One of his biggest skills is to hide every ounce of fear or hurt behind sarcasm and snarky theatrics. He doesn’t seem to hide his anger much, though, so that’s something! Our boy is cool with anger, not so much with being afraid.

“Ahahaha, now that you mention it….I might have done…that.” – Act 3, regarding the Gur children

“The thing that will decide my fate forever more? Yeees, it’s been on my miiiind. Why?” – Act 2, regarding the Ritual

And there’s many more instances that prove this. Honestly, half his dialogue is sarcasm, so it would really be too long to get into and we all know what I mean, right? We have alltalked to the guy before. It’s obvious that he’s sarcastic to a fault.

This goes hand in hand with his penchant for defensiveness. I would personally state that he’s simply not really good with guilt. When talking about fear, he usually just opts for sarcasm or avoids the topic completely, but guilt especially has his defences going up. This is also when he’s most likely to shove all the blame off to Cazador.

“Don’t look at me like that. Cazadors orders.” – Act 3, Crypt

“I just did what I had to!” – Act 3, Crypt

And don’t get me wrong, he does that anyway. And with good reason. Astarion didn’t have a choice for the most part, but he’s still easy to shove things off.

This kind of connects to his penchant for denial.

Astarion doesn’t really like to talk about most things. He firmly believes he is an ‘action’ sort of person that just does instead of plans, which invertedly just means he’s great at pushing the thinking stuff away. He also likes to get rid of stuff, so that he doesn’t need to face it ever again.

“I never want to see these little scraps of misery again. The world doesn’t need to know my shame.” – Act 3, about the children

And yes, this partly rings true. He’s probably ashamed and doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s done. But it’s also very clear that he himself simply doesn’t want to face his own actions, something that is just underlined by his extreme willingness to red rid of the other spawn.

As mentioned by Astarion himself, he’s big on manipulation. I mean, I don’t think there is much explaining necessary. The guy is willing to do a whole lot in order to get what he desires – which mostly revolves around safety and survival, to be honest – and he’s not really shy about it either. And that’s despite the fact that he doesn’t really like intimacy – especially in form of sex.

It’s not a secret that Astarion is not big on sex and anything surrounding it. This goes far enough for people to consider him either ace or ace coded.

A claim that, personally, I’m not super in line with.

Now, it’s not entirely wrong and if this is your head cannon I’m surely not going to stand in your way – but on a larger spectrum, I think he’s more traumatised than ace. And while those go hand in hand sometimes, it’s a bit difficult for the ace community if you attach traumatised characters to them because it can fuel a whole lot of stigma that is honestly neither needed nor wanted. But I digress!

If it comes to his own behaviour, he’s great at minimising his mistakes. Honestly, he’s a master of minimisation. A very obvious and famous example would be:

“’Killed’ feels like a…strong word. Not many corpses have your vigour.” – Act 1, after killing Tav

Astarion. You literally sucked poor Tav dry and left them flopping around, cold, and dead. Killed is exactly the right word and we all know it.

“Quite the deviation from my usual routine. Capture, not lure. I didn’t bring them in with sweet rolls or anything.” – Act 3, Gur Children

This is another attempt at minimising what he did, if a bit less obvious because at this point there isn’t much he can say. But at least he didn’t sexualise the gur children, right? They’re still spawn but whoo, at least that didn’t happen.

The next point would be dissociation, which is extremely common in abuse victims – of all forms of abuse.

Astarion himself mentioned certain moments that could be classified as dissociation over course of the story, which is probably the coping mechanism I personally expected the most.

The pale elf has a penchant for violence, but he’s not entirely shameless or abhorrently vile, which gets clearer the more the story progresses. So, two hundred years of forced prostitution, torture and doing whatever other horrible things? Yeah, I’d be more surprised if he didn’t dissociate.

Examples of that would be:

“A moment of disgust to push myself through and then I could’ve carried on, just like before.” – Act 2, after Araj

“I felt nothing the moment I handed them over.” – Act 3, Gur Children

“Did you enjoy it? It felt like you weren’t fully there.” – Act 1, Tav after Sex

The latter is generally more of an assumption than actual prove, but with context it does make sense.

The last common sign of abuse we find in our boyfriend would be his low self-worth. It’s a consistent trait that stays over the course of all three acts, noticeable in many different conversations.

We can see it in his reaction to wanting to break up before finishing his story. We can see it in his genuine surprise when Tav picks him over any of the other characters. We see it in his insecurity whenever Tav asks to sleep with another character. He’s fine with it, but he still worries their decision to sleep with someone else is based on something he did.

It eases up ever so slightly after Cazador is dead, but even then he’s still struggling which is once again perfectly illustrated if you try to break up with him.

“Oh shit. I- Did I do something wrong?”

That is the first thing he asks and I think it speaks for itself. He genuinely doesn’t believe he has much to offer and for Astarion, it’s likely that Astarion will always be the problem.

4. "Oh, I tried them all none of them answered.”

Another big thing that’s important to note, is that Astarion was never saved. No one came to save him from Cazador. There was no darling boy on a white steed riding into that castle to rescue him and princess carry him away. Not even the gods answered his desperate calls.

So, he never received any kindness or luck. To him, the world seems as cruel and horrid as before because he didn’t have the chance to experience goodness in two centuries.

But worse than that, he didn’t even get to save himself. Astarion didn’t stand up to Cazador, he didn’t run out of his own might.

He was beaten to near death and ‘saved’ by Cazador, who would become his abuser.

He tried to save someone and, in turn, was locked up and starved for an entire year.

He was abducted by mind flayers, i.e., saved from Cazador, only to end up tadpoled and on the cusp of getting a fancy, squiddy beard.

Anything that’s good, any kindness, any selfless action…it all came with a ginormous price tag.

5. Over the Course of the Story

Astarions behaviour changes a whole lot over the course of three acts – which is important once we talk about his quests climax – so let’s review what we’re working with!

Act 1 Astarion is guarded as fuck. The man has walls around him that are so high, even the gods can touch them.

A lot of his behaviour in act 1 revolves around staying save and staying liked. He lies, manipulates, and flutters his lashes in order to get what he wants and needs. Instead of asking, like Wyll, Karlach and Gale do, Astarion uses all he has to offer to get by. He is still very much in survival mode and tries to weasel his way through an unfamiliar situation with familiar methods.

On top of that, and most notably, he’s absolutely not fond of kindness or selflessness.

#I saved a child and now my boyfriend is mad

Here, we are most likely to gain disapproval for doing the decent thing – unless you sent him outside for a minute whenever you’re being a good person.

And I’d assume that this is because of two things.

First: The very traditional ‘Why not me?’

As I mentioned before, Astarion wasn’t saved. He hasn’t experienced kindness in a very long time so seeing that the world is literally filled with kind people is hurtful. Why didn’t anyone save him? Why was he left to his own devices for so long? Why should he care about others when it’s so clear that no one ever cared about him? No, dead to all of them. If he didn’t get it, neither will they.

“And what am I owed? What about the injustices I suffered? Am I not entitled to anything?” – Act 3, Crypt

“I was in the prime of my life when I was turned. Everything was taken from me too.” – Act 3, Crypt

And secondly is the fact that, as I mentioned, goodness always has a price. And it’s one most people won’t be willing to pay. That’s how his life has been, so why would theirs be different?

This is precisely why Astarion may disapprove of kind actions, but he mostly neither approves nor disapproves if Tav asks for payment. That’s just how the world works.

Once you venture out into act 2, after getting to know him a whole lot more, he starts to mellow a bit – if only towards Tav.

“He’s afraid, so afraid, of everyone but you, who she should fear the most.” – Sceleritas about Astarion

His approval is a lot easier to gain – or at least keep! – and he tends to approve of some more proper actions. He doesn’t throw a fit if you promise to find Mol, he approves of Tav being kind to His Majesty, of saving Aylin and he even approves of Durge apologising to Isobel after threatening to rip her to pieces.

He's slowly starting to open up, allowing Tav to see some parts of him he previously kept hidden. He accepts their offer to help, if hesitantly and, by god, the man starts experimenting with boundaries.

The social worker in me is shedding tears at this. It’s my favourite thing to see in my clients and it’s no different here. Yay to saying no!

Of course, it’s still a bit hit or miss. If Tav urges him to bite Araj, for example, he will only to later notice that he didn’t fucking have to. He recognises this on his own and he calls Tav out on it. Just like he calls them out on not helping him with his Orthon quest.

Good job, chap. Good fucking job.

And the growth-train won’t stop going even as we reach act 3.

In act 3, there’s not many things he disapproves as of right now – those he does, mostly have to do with how Tav treats him and not with anyone else. In fact, he’s more likely to approve good behaviour now, like giving Yenna food or money.

And yes, we need to consider that this could simply be because he gets used to Tav’s behaviour and just learns to roll with it. But it’s also highly likely that he notices that there’s truly good people around. At least one person. And that person is not only good, no, they’re in the process of helping him break free once and for all.

They’re helping him save himself.

By act 3, he has learned that he can absolutely say his piece where Tav is concerned and he’s more likely to disagree with them on certain things. It’s seen during a lot of small dialogue that he’s no longer terribly afraid to be honest with them, willing to listen and talk and he’ll ask for help if he needs it.

“I can do this. But I need your help.” – Act 3, Crypt

Something that can be viewed both positively and negatively is that he’s definitely loyal to a fault. He will stick by Tav’s side, no matter what.

“I really hoped we could avoid being pawns for a dark god, but here we are, I suppose. I’m with you, my dear, wherever this might lead.” – Act 3, After Jaheira confronts durge

As I said, this can be both positive and negative. On one count, it’s a recipe for disaster, seeing as he could be waltzing into a really bad situation for Tav alone.

But on the other side…this is a man who only cared about himself because that is the only person he could afford to care about. He needed to survive. He now has enough room to breathe and the capacity to care for someone else and I’d be inclined to count that as a good thing.

6. The Crypt

All the progress he made in act 2 and 3 is nearly tossed into the wind as soon as the crew enters Cazadors castle.

It’s not an immediate thing, of course.

At first, Astarion tries to stay light and simple and he hides behind flippant tones and relaxed faces. The way he recounts this is almost comically disinterested and the façade is actually quite good.

It’s start’s cracking after we meet Godie, one of the people who tortured him on more than one account, but he mostly manages to remain as upbeat as one can honestly expect for the first half of the journey.

All that, however, is done for the very moment we meet Sebastian. His mask not only slips, no, it full on shatters and there’s none of his apparent lightness left.

Which, of course it does.

The man is suddenly faced with years and years and years of victims. Innocent, unlucky people he lured back to his master over two centuries. People he liked, people he pitied.

“It’s sickening, seeing them again.”

It’s basically a room filled with guilt, exclusively for Astarion. And, as we mentioned before…Astarion is not great with guilt.

The guilt, however, is not where it ends.

No, he’s also faced with reflections of his own past. The spawn pose as reminders of what he did, sure, but also as reminders of what he was.

Weak, desperate, hungry.

There’s an abundance of images of his worst moments, reflected back at him in the thousands. It’s probably like staring into a funhouse mirror, but instead of seeing yourself in a funky way he just sees everything he so desperately doesn’t want to be.

“It should be [who I am]! I don’t want to be like them. They’re pathetic, horrible…”

He’s forcefully made aware of how darn weak he can be, which claws at all the wounds he’s barely had time to close. Something, he of course won’t admit if asked.

“THEY DO NOT [remind me of myself]. That weakness in me is dead, IT’S DEAD. I have a higher purpose.”

The high pressure of the moment brings out all of his act 1 traits in but a few moments. You can pretty much watch how he starts to shut down mid conversation, one of his old walls snapping back into place to remove himself from the situation.

Thing is though, walls usually become a bit brittle after disuse. Especially when talking to a person you don’t usually want to wall out.

Or, in his case, when talking to Tav.

After meeting Sebastian, Astarion shows extreme reactions to Tav nudging any of his weak spots. His reaction varies on whatever choice you make, but it ranges from aggression to defensiveness, to denial and even to downright begging Tav.

“Don’t hate me. I just did what I had to. I swear I did what I had to.”

This probably the most shocking out of all of them, since that is not something we got to witness before. The begging is likely a mixture of intense fear of losing Tav, his low self-esteem and pre-Tav behaviour, since we can assume that Cazador made him beg more than once.

Another old coat he puts back on would also be the least surprising of them all.

Manipulation.

He falls right back into it, using Tav’s affection to get what he want if we trigger the right action.

“If they die and I ascend, I won't have to rely on the parasite to walk in the sun. I'll be free. Truly completely free. Isn't that what you want?”

This, to me, was probably the biggest tell that Astarion was back in survival mode. He’s panicking, for fucks sake, and who can blame the guy? He’s back. He’s about to face down his abuser.

Of course he’s fucking panicking.

Panic leads to an increased craving for safety and, in his case, power. This is why he clings to Tav, why he begs them to love him still. And this is why he jumps head first into the rationalisation pool.

“I will need to sacrifice them all if I want to perform the ritual. - [You can save them.] – What’s the point? They're as good as dead! I thought they were dead. If they are unleashed, they will cause incredible carnage. […] They must die. Better they serve a purpose.”

Another textbook example.

They must die anyway. They’re basically dead. No need to save them now. They’re dangerous, I’m doing the right thing by sacrificing them. I already thought they were dead, so it’s not changing anything for me. They’re a lost cause and I deserve all this power. I deserve it, because I suffered and nothing will change if they die.

So, seeing as we already spoke about his usual behaviour in act 3 – behaviour he showed after we allowed him to breathe and be himself for a while – I think we can fairly easily conclude he’s not thinking straight.

Astarion is right back in survival mode, where all that matters is he himself. If it weren’t for the seven thousand spawns, he might have moved through this more gracefully, but seeing those tipped the scales and Astarion is absolutely losing it.

Remember that for the last section, per favore.

7. The Ascension

“Astarion wants to ascend and Tav manipulates him into doing what they want.”

That is basically the essence of what people often claim and I can’t help but shake my head at such a blatant disregard of everything he has become. This is completely ignoring the change and growth he has gone through over the course of their journey.

Astarion wants to be free. He wants to be safe. That does not mean he wants to ascend.

And the claim that Tav manipulates him into doing anything is even more baffling. We are all aware that Tav is not manipulative by nature, yes? That is entirely on you. You decide who your Tav is.

And then let’s remember: Astarion is panicked. He’s afraid and he’s not thinking straight. His abuser is on his knees before him and he still feels so weak. And there’s seven thousand spawns that need handling.

Astarion is very much not okay right now.

In fact, reading his thoughts just proves this theory.

“You can see the fear in his eyes but also the hunger. The thick smell of blood in the air and the promise of power being so close is intoxicating to him. All he can see is the power of the ritual and the freedom that power brings. The freedom to do anything. To be anything.”

Tav, however, has none of those problems. They can actually see beyond the current situation and they are fully aware what the consequences are. Astarion is not. As we previously established, Astarion is a doer. Not a thinker. He didn’t think this through, not at all.

The only thing Tav is doing – the persuasion roll – is reminding him of the very real consequences he is facing. The consequences he hasn’t thought about before.

"I know you think this will set you free, but it won't. This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador."

And that is the kindest thing Tav could do in this situation. They’re not bodily dragging him away from Cazador. They’re not even telling him to not do it. They’re just offering him the truth. He can do with that information whatever he desires.

“Astarion cries when he doesn’t ascend, that just shows that it was the wrong choice.”

A hare-brained point that I thankfully have only seen once so far.

That crying? That is healthy crying.

That is him, crumbling under the stress that suddenly dissipates. That is him mourning two hundred years of torment. That’s him letting out feelings he hasn’t been able to for centuries.

And, for the love of god, try to put yourself in his shoes.

Two hundred years of torment, ended in but a moment.

Astarion was abused and tortured for so long, afraid for so long only to see his tormentor die just like that.

Cazador died within a moment and all Astarion needed was a darn blade. Of course he fucking cries.

Seeing how pathetic a being the very core of your life’s misery actually is hurts. It hurts like hell because not only are you finally free – free! – no, you’re faced with the fact that this pile of nothing, the thing that’s bleeding out right in front of you…this was what tortured for so long.

This thing hurt you so much. That guy took everything from you, everything you once were, and broke it again and again and again over years.

You were so scared of this thing.

And yet he has the gall and the gumption to die just like that.

It was so easy.

And yet you suffered for so long.

8. Evil Playthrough?

An evil playthrough is really a different setting altogether.

All of this, as you can probably tell, is really only applicable on a good playthrough. Realistically speaking. I’m not sure how the game mechanics handle it.

On an evil path, Astarion never really gets to experience kindness and goodness. Evil Tav will just prove him right in his believe that the world is a vile and cold place, meaning that he realistically would be more inclined to actually want to ascend.

9. Final Conclusion

I think all of this should be enough to make it clear that no, ascended Astarion is not the best ending for the guy. In fact, it is probably the worst. Because it’s just him, running away. He’s running into a lonely and cold state of being, where cruelty and power lord over everything else and he’s running because he’s terrified of being hurt again. He’s running despite desperately wanting to stop running.

“I'll spend the rest of my life running watching the shadows, never feeling safe…no, this has to happen. Here and now.”

And, the worst part is: Nothing about Astarion is left after he ascends. Even his tone of speaking gradually changes, his theatrics fading. He’s slowly losing himself, until there’s nothing but an evil caricature left.

So, in the end, ascension will have proven him right.

That version of him is dead.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate #bg3 #astarion #the dark urge #tav #astarion romance #astarion ancunin #astarion and tav #bg3 act 1 #bg3 act 2 #bg3 act 3 #act 3 #act 2 #act 1 #araj oblodra

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mypoisonedvine · 8 months

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𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 | boyfriend's dad!cillian murphy x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | for some reason, your first instinct after the breakup was to talk to his parents; maybe because you'd come sort of uniquely close to them, for a relatively short relationship. you might not have gone to their house if you'd known you'd find mr. murphy there alone...

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 4k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (18+ ONLY!! unprotected sex, creampie, oral m and f receiving), age gap (reader's age unspecified, cillian is 45+), hurt/comfort (but, you know, sexual comfort), infidelity, slight manipulation/coercion since the reader is very vulnerable at the time, somewhat inexperienced reader, degradation and praise, a little bit of breathplay, hair pulling, slight dacryphilia?, reader is slightly implied to be an immigrant/foreigner

note: yes I use his real name but this is just fiction and not meant to have anything to do with the real cillian murphy or his life/family so please keep that in mind!

He had a smile on his face as he opened the door and greeted you, but it fell instantly when he saw you biting down on your quivering lip, looking down to hide how red and watery your eyes were.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked, voice heavy with concern as he reached out and rubbed your shoulder. "Oh, god— come in, come in— what's going on?"

He ushered you into the house, shutting the door behind you and wrapping his arm around you as you sniffled. "I-I'm sorry—" you began instantly. “I thought— I don’t know why I even came here…”

But, actually, you sort of did. You’d been wanting to talk to Cillian’s wife, hoping for some motherly advice, until he answered the door and you abruptly remembered she was in England on business for a week or something. And you couldn’t exactly show up on somebody’s doorstep crying and say ‘oh, sorry, I thought your wife would be home— I’ll come back in a few days’.

You weren’t disappointed by running into him instead, really, you just felt a little weirder about it. The two of you had never actually been alone before.

"Don't apologise," he soothed, "it's okay, just tell me what's happened. Are you alright?"

"Yeah," you sighed, trying to compose yourself a bit as he guided you to sit on the couch with him. "Yeah, I'm okay, I just... um, well, it's sort of stupid—"

"I'm sure it's not," he offered with a small laugh, "if it's got you this worked up."

"We, um... I think we broke up?"

"What?" he breathed, knitting his eyebrows together— he cared more than you expected... but it sort of made sense, Mr. Murphy had always made you feel welcome here. Mrs. Murphy too, maybe ina different way. Yes, it's bizarre to respond to being dumped by going to visit the guy's parents, you needed a sort of... mature, familial presence right now while you were so far from your own.

You took him through the whole drama as efficiently as possible, trying to regulate your crying so he could actually attempt to make out what you were saying. He listened thoughtfully, perhaps with too much attention compared to what you expected— after all, this was stupid college drama and he was so much more mature than all that. Still, you appreciated a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

"And, uh, that's how he ended it," you finished with a sigh, sniffling as you recalled the heartbreaking conversation. "He basically told me that he's too young to be stuck with one person, and he needs to 'explore his options'..."

"Then he's an idiot," Cillian groaned, "and I hate to say that about my own son— but he's a fuckin' idiot."

"Well," you mumbled, "I don't know— I thought maybe he had a point. I mean, we're pretty young..."

"But look at you, honey," he offered pityingly, "you can't tell me this is what you wanted."

"No, but—"

"And yes, you're young," he added, "but not too young— not if it's real."

You bit your lip to stop it from shaking any more, and he cooed at you gently as he reached up to rub your shoulder.

“Poor girl,” he breathed. “Honestly, I always… well, maybe I shouldn’t say it now…”

You looked up at him expectantly, and he smiled nervously as he glanced away.

“Well… I guess I always thought that you could do better,” he admitted with a soft laugh, “but, you know, I didn’t want to say anything, of course. He was lucky to have you, and I just hoped he would treat you right, but…”

“I thought I was the lucky one,” you replied with a thin smile and another little sniffle. “He could be really sweet, you know— he used to be. And I always thought he was, uh, sort of… you know, out of my league.”

“Oh, honey, no,” Cillian frowned, moving his hand up to your face and holding your cheek, wiping a small tear away with his thumb. “You’re gorgeous.”

You laughed awkwardly, not sure what to think— or how to think— with him looking at you like that. “I… I don’t know, you’re sweet, but—”

“No, really,” he assured, and only when you met his gaze did you realise how close he was. You wouldn’t call it too close, only because it didn’t bother you like you knew it should. “You’re so beautiful.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing actually came out… there was nothing to say. He was coming closer, you knew it, and you wanted to reach up to stop him just as much as you wanted to shut your eyes and give into it. You ended up sort of splitting the difference: you rested your hands on his shoulders, but didn’t push him away, and gasped slightly just before he kissed you. Even a second of resistance could’ve given you some plausible deniability, but no, you fluttered your eyes shut and kissed him back; it didn’t help that you could feel how warm and strong he was through the t-shirt, holding on tighter to his shoulders with a hum.

His hands wandered to your waist, pulling you into him— and you were like putty, embarrassingly enough. With him kissing you like that, you really couldn’t do anything but let him pull you around wherever he wanted. His lips were soft and gentle, his tongue teased you so carefully, and he even sighed against your skin in the sweetest way… you were totally helpless already.

Sure, some part of you knew how fucking bizarre this was— that you were kissing Mr. Murphy, your boyfriend’s dad— well… ex-boyfriend’s. You weren’t blind, you noticed how attractive he was when you met him, but you’d managed to successfully ignore it since then. It made sense, after all, since the first thing you’d noticed about your boyfriend was his good looks… but Mr. Murphy was handsome in a totally different way. Strong and broad— not especially massive or anything, still a lean guy— with thin streaks of grey in his hair, a patient sort of smile, subtle wrinkles around his eyes that added a sense of wisdom to his expression… really, he was a bit more of your type. But that was something you had forced yourself not to acknowledge— until now.

You sat up slightly, holding onto his neck, breathing in sharply through your nose as you kissed him back a little harder. You could feel him smiling— god, even just that made you feel so desperate— and he even moaned ever-so-quietly when you ran your fingers through his hair.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he breathed against your lips, breaking away just enough to make you open your eyes— his lashes seemed especially long as he looked down at your legs curled up on the couch (and his hands petting them slowly. “You haven’t been treated properly for a long time, have you?”

You whined in the back of your throat involuntarily as you nodded— how could he see right through you like that? It wasn’t like it was bad with your ex, it was just… not good. Not enough. You wanted to feel wanted, not used— not a means to an end.

“Will you let me?” he asked softly, breathing beside your ear on his way in to kiss your neck. You gasped, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to keep him close, head falling back to give him as much of you as he wanted. His tongue was fucking fiendish, the way he used it to tickle along your pulse, the sharpness of his teeth making you jolt only for him to soothe you with his plush lips.

“Yes,” you panted, “fuck— I, god, I can’t believe we’re doing this…”

He laughed a little. “I can,” he admitted. “All I could fucking think about since I met you…”

That surprised you— you’d never noticed anything that would’ve made you think he thought of you that way… but knowing that he, apparently, had made a shiver run up your spine.

He certainly hid it well, playing the part of the slightly-embarrassing dad and polite husband so well that you never would’ve known… oh god, his wife. You didn’t want to think of her now, yet the unavoidable memory stirred arousal alongside guilt in your gut. You had no idea you were this sort of person— but you weren’t really operating logically right now, anyway.

He held your face again as he pulled back, petting your cheek— it made you feel especially juvenile when he did that, holding your chin to examine you. This wasn’t really the ideal state for you to be looked at, in your opinion, with you having been crying all evening. But he looked amazed by you, even if it was just for a moment before he looked down at your body and smirked.

“Take this off,” he instructed, tugging at your shirt slightly. You thought it would’ve been a little more romantic if he helped you out of it, but it was alternatively a bit sexier that he was just going to sit back and watch you strip for him. It must have been his way of demonstrating his power over you, that you were just going to take it off and toss it aside without question. Which, of course, you did.

He smiled proudly at the sight, and before you could even get your bra off, he started to carefully tease you through it— fingers running around the edge, moving the straps off your shoulders, tickling up your sides as you shifted nervously on the couch.

“Look’t that,” he whispered proudly, and you took a second to realise that he was referring to your nipples getting hard enough to poke visibly through the fabric; you felt self-conscious all of a sudden, even if he was clearly enjoying what he was seeing. “So needy, huh?”

“Y-yeah,” you admitted, whining when he reached inside the cups and ran his fingers over your breasts— they usually weren’t so sensitive. “Fuck,” you breathed, shutting your eyes as a way to try to escape his gaze. “I… I need you.”

“Fuck, baby, don’t talk like that,” he groaned, “m’gonna try to take my time with you— how am I supposed to do that if you say such lovely things?”

His lips were on your neck again— and he was leaning you back, laying you down under him, tugging your shorts down with a bit more urgency than he’d had before.

When you were basically naked— or at least, your bra and panties pushed out of the way enough that he could see what he needed to— he purred at the sight, grinning as you hastily undressed yourself the rest of the way.

"Of course he couldn't appreciate this," Cillian sighed, baring his teeth just a bit. "Of course he couldn't appreciate a perfect fucking body like this— a perfect little pussy like this..."

You were about to open your mouth to say something, though you hadn't even decided yet what it would be, but only a low moan came out when he held your legs open and dove between them, humming as he lapped at your clit. You couldn't imagine why you were so sensitive, but your whole body was shaking already just from the gentlest motions of his tongue...

"Fuck," he said, muffled against your skin, before he pulled back enough to bite playfully on your thigh. "Fuck, darling, you taste delicious. Christ. You're too perfect..."

He devoured you again, exploring all over you with his tongue as your thighs kept instinctively clamping down on his head. He kept looking up at you through it all, even when you couldn't stand to meet his gaze and had to arch your back from the pleasure. "Fuck!" you yelped, grabbing tightly onto his hair. "Fuck, Mr. Murphy, I— oh, god..."

"He never made you come like this, did he?" Cillian realised with a groan, nearly growling when you shook your head. "Has anyone?"

"N-no," you shakily admitted, and he moaned around you as he suckled harder on your clit for a moment until you whined loudly.

"Oh, poor thing," he cooed, "how could anyone taste this sweet cunt of yours, and not want to spend hours between your legs?"

He didn’t need to spend hours, though— the taboo nature of the situation seemed to turn your body into overdrive, making you so sensitive and desperate… or maybe that was just the effect he had on you, but it was hard to say.

The point is, all too soon, you were shivering under him, back arching up off the couch, holding on tightly to his hair. He hummed approvingly, even moaning against you as he slid his tongue inside; he must have been able to feel you pulsing, moving closer and closer to the edge, because he shut his eyes tight and seemed to focus harder and pushing you further until you couldn’t take anymore.

“Fuck, fuck!” you sobbed, thighs shaking around his head; there really was no exploration to it, no teasing, he just went right in and expertly played you like he’d done this a thousand times. Maybe he had… but, obviously, he’d never done it to you. Were you that easy to solve?

Obviously, that question suddenly became the last thing on your mind as your orgasm wracked through you. He growled encouragingly, still keeping his pace, but you could barely hear it past the ringing in your ears— and your own cries of his name, of course.

He only broke away when your squirms turned into real avoidance: you could only take so much, especially with him suckling on your clit like that.

You were almost nervous to open your eyes again— and you were right, he looked so gorgeous between your legs, obviously smug with having just made you come, it was nearly criminal.

“Is it really that easy to make you come, honey?” he laughed, petting your legs sweetly as he pulled back, looking up at you with a proud grin. “That’s so fucking cute, baby…”

As he sat up again, wiping the slick off his mouth with the back of his hand, you got this weird, clingy feeling— wanting to chase him even just as he barely moved away.

But he’d sat up for a reason, and you started to realise it when you sat up, too, and noticed the thick bulge in his jeans.

"Why don't you show me what you can do, sweetheart?" he encouraged with a smile, opening his belt for you. "I'm sure you've learned a thing or two..."

Though you still felt terribly nervous about it, you leaned forward towards his lap. Would it be awful to admit your mouth watered when he freed his cock from his jeans and boxers, holding it out for you as a little bead of precum formed at the tip?

"Show me, baby," he whispered again, "and look up at me."

You nervously blinked up at him, meeting his gaze from his lap, as you wrapped your lips around his swollen head. He bit his lip right away and reached up to hold onto your hair, groaning as you swirled your tongue.

"Fuck," he smirked, "you're sort of a tease, aren't you?"

You weren't trying to be, really, but it didn't sound like he minded too much...

"Oh, fuck," he moaned deeply, making you pulse inside as he tilted his head back. "Fuck, baby, that's good— your mouth is so fucking warm..."

He gasped and panted as he held your head, guiding it to bob just a little faster than you had been moving. "Sweetheart," he choked, "you're so fucking good... fuck!"

The praise made your chest fill with warmth, even if there was still some part of your brain that was recovered enough from the orgasm to remember how horrible this all was. It was horrible, but perfect— and feeling his cock throb against your tongue was perfect, too.

You’d never been told you were so good at this before, but he kept moaning and petting your head encouragingly, whispering the most wonderful and filthy things. “Just like that, honey,” he cooed, “mm— pretty thing… knew that mouth of yours would feel so fuckin’ good… just keep sucking my cock, sweetheart.”

That you did— harder and faster, stroking what your mouth couldn’t fit, moaning softly around him. As you tried to take it deeper, desperate to please him, you gagged on his thick head.

“God, it’s so cute when you choke on it, baby,” he chuckled. “Do it again.”

This time it was almost too much, but he held your head down and groaned deeply. It would’ve bothered you more— not being able to breathe— if he didn’t sound so sexy right then…

Thankfully, he pulled you off just in time, making you yelp as he held you by your hair— only to kiss you hard, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. Moaning, you melted into his arms, and let him guide you to straddle his lap. Feeling his jeans against your thighs and his shirt against your chest made your heart skip.

He took another long look at you when he broke away, a new darkness in his bright eyes.

“You’re so sexy,” he laughed softly, running his hands over your nude form and raising a brow as he watched goosebumps break out over your skin. “God, I need to be inside you…”

You bit down on your lip but it didn’t do much to suppress your whimper; lifting yourself up a bit, you grasped his cock and slid it through your folds, guiding him to your entrance.

You both gasped when he slipped inside, even when it was the slightest penetration— his whole head wasn’t in yet, and you just knew it would stretch you more than you were used to.

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned loudly, tilting his head back, “you’re so wet, sweetheart…”

Lowering yourself, you took in a shaky breath, whining slightly as he opened you up one inch at a time... and each one seemed somehow thicker than the last. His fingers seemed to dig deeper into the skin at your hips and ass the lower that you sank onto him.

You could barely believe that you took it all; that you relaxed into his lap fully even when you feared being split in half by how thick he was. “Oh my god,” you blurted out, operating on instinct as you started to move— grinding back and forth, desperate for friction despite having been satisfied by his incredible mouth just a few minutes ago.

"Fuck, there you go," he encouraged with a growl, looking down at your hips rocking in his lap. "Ride me, just like that— fuck, ride my cock, little fuckin' whore..."

You whimpered at the insult, holding tighter onto his shoulders, but it only made you move faster. "S-so... so deep, Mr. Murphy," you whimpered.

"Yeah? You can take it," he promised darkly, holding tighter onto your waist as he dropped his head back with a low groan. "God, you're tight— fuck."

You gasped as he bucked his hips up, creating more pressure against your over-sensitive clit. "Oh, fuck," you breathed, struggling to cope with all the sensations he was giving you.

Both of you settled on the right pace, and he switched between resting his head back against the couch (giving you a nice view of his gorgeous neck, how could just a neck be so sexy?!) and looking down to watch you go. “So fuckin’ cute,” he praised— though you were sort of surprised to hear him describe you that way at a time like this. “So needy, honey… you want more, don’t you? You wanna go even faster.”

Now that he said it: yeah, you did. You bounced up and down, your moans coming out all shaky and uneven because of the movement, and he grinned proudly.

His hands wandered up from your waist to your chest, groping you eagerly as you gasped out his name in response. “Love these tits of yours,” he informed you, sounding oddly sweet for how dirty of a compliment it was. “Took everything in me not to stare at them when you’d come over for dinner… see what you do to me, sweetheart? Haven’t felt this desperate since I was your age.”

Oh, he knew exactly what he was doing, reminding you of how much older he was at a time like this. He purred when he felt you clench on him, obviously affected by the comment.

“Should’ve known you’d give in right away,” he went on, softening his voice to nearly a whisper as he watched you move with heavy eyes; you angled your hips back and moaned louder, his cock rubbing against just the right spot every time now. “Hungry little thing like you— now I wish I hadn’t waited so long. We could’ve been doing this the whole time… I could’ve shown you how much better it can be, when somebody really takes care of you.”

Whimpering, you felt another heady pang inside you— if he kept talking like that, you wouldn’t be able to keep your head on straight… then again, the fact that you were here proved that you were less stable than you thought.

“Faster, sweetheart,” he ordered again suddenly. “I wanna see how desperate you can get.”

You furrowed your brows together, almost pouting, but did exactly what he wanted— you wondered if you looked as pathetic as you sounded, riding him recklessly, chasing another peak even when it took all of your strength in those shaking legs.

He grabbed you by the jaw and guided you into another desperate kiss— all teeth and tongue and low moans. “Good fucking girl,” he snarled. “Good little slut.”

“Fuck,” you panted, moving faster. “Fuck, I’m close—”

“I know, honey,” he cooed, nodding as he moved his hand down to your neck. “Show me how bad you need it, sweetheart. Let me see it, I wanna see you come for me.”

Tossing your head back, you cried out his name again— why did you always do that when you came?— and felt it overtake you. It was even heavier than the last one, even more numbing and draining, and you didn’t even notice how hard you were digging your nails into his shoulders.

When your body failed and you came to a shaky stop, he didn’t give you much time to catch your breath: he grabbed you tight, guiding your head to rest on his shoulder, and began to buck his hips up into you quickly.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” you whined, overwhelmed by the feeling, holding onto him tightly just to have something to keep you grounded.

“Fuck, m’gonna come inside you,” he warned with a growl. “Gonna fill you, baby, you’ll be so fuckin’ full of my come—”

You sobbed and buried your face in his neck, starting to cry again for a completely different reason than before.

“Tell me you want it,” he ordered, speaking roughly right against your ear.

“F-fuck, I want it,” you gasped, “I want you to come— fuck— come inside me—”

He choked out a few more swears, he held you tight enough that you started to imagine what his bruises would look like on you tomorrow, and with a low groan of your name, it all suddenly slowed to a stop. You moaned weakly when you felt his cock flexing against your walls, even more heat pooling inside you. With what little energy you had left, you softly kissed his neck— until he seemed to come back to reality and pushed you back enough to be face-to-face with you again.

You realised suddenly that you were still sort of crying from the intensity of it all, and got nervous with him staring at you like that. “I’m sorry,” you sniffled as you wiped your face.

“Don’t apologise,” he told you again, moving your hands away so he could look at you himself. “Besides, you look even cuter when you cry.”

#cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #dilf!cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy rpf

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trblsvt · 3 months

Text

so obvious | jeon wonwoo

summary | so you disclosed your relationship to admin. now all you needed to do was break the news to your students. maybe they could pick up on the signs you were dropping? genre | fluff, teacher!au warnings | swearing (maybe, i don't think so), corny couple stuff word count | 2.4k words pairing | jeon wonwoo x fem!reader minli | lowercase intended so this is technically a sequel to this piece that i wrote a while ago! a lot of people wanted a part 2! i'm not sure how i feel about this... it's a bit tamer than what i was going for initially, but this is my return i suppose. hope all is well with everyone

wonwoo rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock. unfortunately, it was 7:00 am, so it was time to get up. he turned back over to wake you. "___, my love, it's time to get up," he murmured in your ear. he felt your skin raise at his touch, and he smiled. you groaned and rolled over to face wonwoo. you immediately buried your face into the crook of his neck. he chuckled and pulled you closer to him. "it's time for school," he urged. you groaned. "come on, let's get going," he tugged on you playfully. "the sooner we get there, the sooner we can come back home."

"that's not how that works," you rolled your eyes as you practically fell out of bed. wonwoo sat up against the headboard and watched you gather your things to get ready. "today's the big day, right?" you asked, looking at him. he nodded. today was the day the two of you agreed to disclose your relationship with your students. it was about time, and if you were honest, you were just happy to get it over with. "i was thinking i could just tell my first period class, and let the information spread on it's own. how were you thinking of doing it?" you asked wonwoo, sitting back down on the bed.

wonwoo gazed at you with an emotion you couldn't pinpoint. "i actually was thinking about that last night," he began.

"oh no," you laughed leaning into his body. his arms wrapped around you. "maybe, we could reveal it in a more, how should i say, grand way?" he suggested.

“grand?” you asked. wonwoo was never one for big announcements. you were surprised he even agreed to announce it to the students in the first place. now he was talking about something grand? he smiled shyly, “yeah, maybe we could, like, hold hands.” he looked at you so seriously. you couldn’t help but laugh, “hold hands?” you repeated. he pouted, gripping your hand tighter. “what? you don’t like that idea?” he asked.

“no, no, sorry. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean it like that,” you quickly tried to reassure him. “you know i like holding hands with you.”

“you only like holding hands with me?” he teased.

“love. i love holding your hand” you corrected, kissing his cheek. he smiled leaning back in bed, considering his plan. “it would be cool to sort of have them figure it out on their own,” he said. “like a mystery. we could hold hands, hug… just be more touchy, i guess.”

“so you’re suggesting we act like a normal couple,” you said.

“well, when you say it like that…” he rolls out of bed, pulling you up with him.

“plus, we don’t want to be indecent at school of all places,” you smiled, resting your hands on his shoulders. he chuckled, “indecent? never.”

"so, you still don't believe there's any chance of miss ___ and mr. jeon getting together?" daniel asked his two friends lily and mina. lily slumped down in her chair. they were sitting in mr. jeon's class, bright and early for first period. "lily doesn't believe it's possible anymore. remember how many times miss ___ shut her down last time?" mina sighed.

"well, i have news for you guys," daniel smiled, leaning over the table. "i saw miss ___ reach for mr. jeon's hand today on the way into the teacher lounge." mina practically shrieked at the news. lily still looked unimpressed. nothing in her mind could make her change her mind.

"maybe she was just reaching for the door handle after him," lily rolled her eyes.

"how could she if mr. jeon was holding the door already?" daniel argued. "aren't you the person who wanted them to be together more than anything?" it was true, lily really wanted to believe her two favorite teachers could be together. yet, she had a hard time believing in it. miss ___ always dodged her questions and mr. jeon was cryptic as ever. it seemed fruitless. "c'mon just entertain it," daniel pleaded. lily rolled her eyes. there couldn't be any harm in hoping.

"___, don't you think that's a little risky? couldn’t you just put your ring on your finger and see if anyone notices?" seungkwan groaned as he sat down on the chair across from you in the lounge. "it feels like it would violate some sort of public indecency mandate or something," he added. you just rolled your eyes even though you had the same thought. "come on, you know wonwoo wouldn't do something too crazy," you assured. just as you said that you felt a hand wrap around your waist and turn you around. suddenly there was a pair of lips on yours, and you kissed back. "hello, my darling," wonwoo smiled.

"hi," you laughed.

"i believe you stand corrected," seungkwan fake gagged and left to get more coffee. you looked at wonwoo and smiled. "you can't do this in front of the students," you teased.

"me? kiss you in front the students? never," he smirked, leaning down to kiss you again. you leaned away and pushed his face away playfully. "i'd prefer it if you didn't do it in front of seungkwan's coffee either. looks like he's going to be sick," you pointed out. wonwoo glanced over at seungkwan, who was fake throwing up and looking at them with disgust. “he can close his eyes,” he smiled, leaning in to kiss you again. but, you stop him by slightly moving his face away with your hand again. “don’t you have class to get to?” you asked.

“can’t a man love his wife?” he rolled his eyes.

“this particular man doesn’t have a wife.”

“yet. that’s a technicality.” wonwoo looked at you with a slight smile on his lips. “you love technicalities!” you pointed out.

“oh, gosh. look at the time. i have a class to get to,” he looked at the silver watch on his wrist and left the lounge giggling at his own humor.

“dork.”

before you stepped into class, you had listened to seungkwan and slipped the ring off the necklace hanging around your neck and onto your finger. maybe they would notice the diamond as you pointed at the board. you stepped into the classroom, and you noticed something in the air felt wrong. you glanced over at mina and daniel, who were staring you down. meanwhile, lily was slumped in her seat, but she was still looking at you like she was expecting something. you brushed it off and got up to the front of class. “hi, everyone!” you said cheerily. “how has the day been?” you were expecting the default answer of “good” from everyone, so you were a bit surprised when daniel said, “lily is ruining my mood.” he was promptly smacked by mina.

“guys, please do not hit each other,” you sighed. “maybe you should talk to lily and try to sort it out privately.” daniel nodded and slumped into his chair.

the rest of class went on without much of a hitch. you even tried to motion with your hands more so they would notice the shining stone on your ring finger. but, halfway through class, there was a knock on the door and it opened quickly. you looked up from writing on the board and saw wonwoo step into class. “mr. jeon,” you said surprised. he looked at you sheepishly and looked around the classroom. “miss ___, i- uh- you forgot your lunch,” he smiled holding up your lunch bag and taking another step into the room. your students were silent as he stepped into the room. “so sorry to interrupt. i had my free period so i thought i could swing by to drop it off,” he shrugged casually.

you stepped forward and took your lunch from his hands. “thank you,” you whispered coming closer to wonwoo than what was probably appropriate. wonwoo’s hands brushed yours briefly, and he pulled away. “once again, apologies for interrupting,” he said calmly walking out the door, sending you a slight smile on the way. you paused momentarily but snapped out of it since you needed to finish this lecture. “okay, so where were we?” you asked the class. but when you looked out into the sea of young faces, there was a collective look of shock and bewilderment on their faces. “what? is there something on my face?” you joked.

“what was that?” daniel gasped, utterly confused.

“what was what?” you asked looking around the class, playing coy.

“mr. jeon basically invading your personal space!” mina yelped.

“i wouldn’t say that was necessarily invading my personal space….” you trailed off.

“he touched your hand!” lily exclaimed.

“i’m sure that was just an accident,” you insisted. you play with the ring on your finger as she says this. you were surprised none of them had pointed that out since you made an effort to speak with your hands today. “are you and mr. jeon together, miss ___?” daniel asked.

“that’s not an appropriate question to ask, daniel,” you said, but in reality, you were hoping they were going to guess it sooner than later; your hands were tired from motioning with them all day.

“oh come on… miss ___,” lily whined. but before you could banter with them further the bell for class change rang.

“oh, look at that, it seems as though it’s time for everyone to get going to the next class. wouldn’t want you to be late,” you ushered them and turned off the projector. there were some grumbles of discontent, but they left eventually.

“you saw that right?” mina grabbed lily’s arm as they left the classroom.

“noticed what?” lily asked.

“the ring!” daniel exclaimed. “come on… there’s no way you didn’t see it.” lily continued to look at them confused. “lily! she was waving her hand around like she wanted us to see it! no way the most delusional person here didn’t see it,” daniel groaned.

“i am not delusional,” lily huffed. “but… if there was a ring… maybe they are together…”

“well, luckily for us, we have mr. jeon’s class next,” mina smiled, practically grabbing lily’s hand.

“i’m giving you all time to work on the essay in class. please, take advantage of this time,” wonwoo announced to the class. he sat down and fidgeted with the bouquet he had under his desk. he was planning on taking you out to a surprise dinner tonight. after the school bell rang and you met him outside, he would bring out the flowers and ask you to dinner out in the parking lot. this would be his grand gesture to let the students know. plus, maybe he would be able to hold your hand too. another gesture to signal your relationship.

there was some quiet whispering going on, but that was expected and he paid no mind to it. but, suddenly, someone was standing, or multiple someones, at the foot of his desk. “lily, daniel, mina. what can i do for you three?” he asked looking up at the three students.

“are you and miss ___ together?” lily asked plainly. wonwoo swallowed nervously. though the two of you planned to tell the students, he was so used to keeping your relationship secret from the students he froze. “uh - what? where have you gotten that idea?” he cleared his throat.

“well, you two aren’t exactly inconspicuous,” daniel said. wonwoo tried to hide his shock. he thought the two of you did quite well hiding it up until today. the whole “forgetting your lunch” thing was staged by him, but before he thought he was laying low. he was honestly torn if this is how he wanted to tell his students.

it wasn’t.

so his brain went into autopilot. “lily, i thought i told you not to pry into personal matters? miss ___ and i have a close partnership as the youngest faculty members at this school. however, i do not want this to lead any misunderstandings among students,” he said in the best authoritative voice he could muster through his shock.

they looked guilty and a bit dejected. “sorry, mr. jeon. we won’t ask again,” mina apologized first. daniel and lily followed suit. “please get back to your work,” he said. they nodded and headed back to work.

“maybe he was lying,” daniel said. mina scowled at him. “i did not like getting told off by him,” mina grumbled. “i didn’t know he was gonna be like that.” lily opened her locker and grabbed the books she needed for homework. “whatever, guys. i’ll just give up all hope on this,” lily sighed. “it’s not worth thinking about.”

they exited the school with their bags. then they see a familiar figure stroll into the faculty section of the parking lot. “wait… was that mr. jeon… with flowers?” mina asked, pointing in the direction of him. he was carrying a bouquet and a smile. he tapped the shoulder of someone. she turned around. “miss ___?” mina gasped as she watched the scene unfold. mr. jeon handed miss ___ the flowers. they hugged and she kissed his cheek. “what? i thought he said they weren’t like that?” lily exclaimed.

“he must have lied,” daniel shrugged.

“why are you so casual about this?” mina elbowed him.

“well, like i told mr. jeon, they’re so obvious,” daniel smiled smugly.

“wonwoo…” you giggled as you took the flowers he handed to you.

“so dinner at 7 at that new restaurant,” he smiled, grabbing your hand. you smiled and kissed his cheek. you glanced over at the car loop where you saw some familiar young faces. “so, this was your grand gesture,” you smiled.

“well, yeah,” he blushed. “but, i am also holding your hand like we discussed this morning.” you laughed and nodded. he indeed was holding your hand. “the grandest of gestures,” you kidded. he smiled and opened the car door for you. before you got in you turned and waved at the three faces watching after you, ring glinting in the afternoon light. wonwoo turned to see who you were waving at. he shot them a wink and climbed into the driver’s seat. “i love you,” he said smiling.“i love you more.” you said smiling grabbing his hand.

“impossible.”

minli | so thanks for reading! lightly proofread! i'm on spring break so that's why i go around to getting this out! thanks for you guys who stuck around :) i went through the people who asked for a part 2 a long time ago and tagging you all even if you don't remember the og fic.... taglist: @a-wandering-stay @cinnamoroxie @wonwoosthetic

@skz-tua-txt-storytimes @ellelabelle @minghaossv @gie-gie-gie-gie @tootheiass @stendy4life

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transmutationisms · 5 months

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from a non-academic, i find parts of comphet to be useful (heterosexuality becomes compulsory when you’re raised in a heterosexual society) but the foundations . suck. what do we do with theories like this, that have touched on a truth but also carry a lot of garbage? can we separate the truth from the founder?

i have to be slightly pedantic and say that i don't think rich's essay is an example of this phenomenon. my central issue with her formulation is its bioessentialist assumptions about human sex and therefore also sexuality. if i say "capitalism includes economic mechanisms that enforce heterosexual behaviour and exclude other possibilities", then what i mean by "heterosexual" is plainly not the same as what rich means—and for this reason i would seldom formulate the statement this way, without clarifying that i am talking about the enforcement of heterosexuality as a part of the creation and defence of sex/gender categories themselves. so rich and i do not actually agree on the very fundamental premises of this paper! rich was not the first or only person to point out that economic mechanisms as well as resultant social norms enforce heterosexual pairings; i actually don't even think the essay does a very clear job of interrogating the relationship between labour, economy, and the creation of sex/gender; she means something different and essentialist to what i mean by sex and sexuality; and i think her proposed responses to the phenomenon she identifies as 'compulsory heterosexuality' are uninteresting because they mainly propose psychological answers to a problem arising from conditions of political economy. so, in regards to this specific paper, i am actually totally comfortable just saying that it's not a useful formulation, and i don't feel a need to rescue elements of it.

in general, i do know what you're talking about, and i think there's a false dichotomy here: as though we must either discard an idea entirely if it has elements we dislike, or we accept it on the condition that we can plausibly claim these elements and their author are irrelevant. these are not comprehensive options. instead, i would posit that every theory, hypothesis, or idea is laden with context, including values held and assumptions made by their progenitors. the point is not to find a mythical 'objective' truth unburdened by human bias or mistakes; this is impossible. instead, i think we need to take seriously the elements of an idea that we object to. why are they there? what sorts of assumptions or arguments motivate them, and are those actually separable from whatever we like in the idea? if so, can we be clear about which aspects of the theory are still useful or applicable, and where it is that the objectionable elements arise? and if we can identify these points, then what might we propose instead? this is all much more useful, imo, than either waiting for a perfect morally unimpeachable theory or trying to 'accept' a theory without grappling with its origins (political, social, intellectual).

a recent example that you might find interesting as a kind of case study is j lorand matory's book the fetish revisited, which argues that the 'fetish' concept in freud's and marx's work drew from their respective understandings of afro-atlantic gods. in other words, when marx said capitalists "fetishise" commodities or freud spoke about sexual "fetishism", they were each claiming that viewing an object as agentive, meaning-laden in itself (ie, devoid of the context of human meaning-making as a social and political activity) was comparable to 'primitive' and delusory religious practices.

matory's point here isn't that we should reject marx's entire contribution to political economy because he was racist, nor is it that we can somehow accept parts of what marx said by just excising any racist bits. rather, matory asks us to grapple seriously with the role that marx's anthropologically inflected racism plays in his ideas, and what limitations it imposes on them. why is it that marx could identify the commodity as being discursively abstracted and 'fetishised', but did not apply this understanding to other ideas and objects in a consistent way? and how is his understanding of this process of 'fetishisation' shaped by his beliefs about afro-atlantic peoples, and their 'intelligence' or civilisational achievements in comparison to northwestern europeans'? by this critique matory is able to nuance the fetish concept, and to argue that marx's formulation of it was both reductive and inconsistently applied (analogously to how freud viewed only some sexuality as 'fetishistic'). it is true in some sense that capital and the commodity are reified and abstracted in a manner comparable to the creation of a metaphysical entity, but what we get from matory is both a better, more nuanced understanding of this process of meaning-making (incl. a challenge to the racist idea of afro-atlantic gods as simply a result of inferior intelligence or cultural development), and the critical point that if this is fetishism, then we must understand a lot more human discourse and activity as hinging on fetishisation.

the answer of what we do with the shitty or poorly formulated parts of a theory won't always be the same, obviously; this is a dialogue we probably need to have (and then have again) every time we evaluate an idea or theory. but i hope this gives you some jumping-off points to consider, and an idea of what it might look like to grapple with ideas as things inherently shaped by people—and our biases and assumptions and failings—without assuming that means we can or should just discard them any time those failings show through. the point is not to waste time trying to find something objective, but to understand the subjective in its context and with its strengths and limitations, and then to decide from there what use we can or should make of it.

#marx #adrienne rich

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slutforalastor · 2 months

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"Ah, he's got this problem." Your friend Mimzy waved her hand. "You know how animal demons get. I'd take care of him myself but I wouldn't want to spoil our working relationship. We go way back, you know."

Slowly, you nodded. "You'd consider it a personal favour?" That was how things worked in Hell. A consideration for a consideration. And dealing with the Radio Demon in rut was hardly a small favour, even if it did play well to your preferences.

"To me, yeah." Mimzy smiled broadly. "Just take him to a private room in the back and see that he's calmed down before it's time for the show. If he's cranky he's gonna start eating people, ugh." She fluttered her hand again. "Don't worry, though, he's an absolute sweetheart."

Seeing the Radio Demon turn sideways to get through the door, eyes glowing red and his huge rack of antlers festooned with cables, you were starting to doubt Mimzy's definition of sweetheart.

THIS POST CONTAINS MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS. 18+

Content: Rutting, antlerplay, role reversal, give and take, banter, mutual masturbation, light femdom, biting, marking, a lot of flowery language for smut

You'd heard the stories and rumors, saw the occasional report on VNN, but you'd yet to encounter the Radio Demon for yourself. Even pushed to the edge where something resembling humanity plunges into dark depths of depravity, he's maintaining a grip on decorum, his wavering smile barely forming the syllables when he introduces himself as Alastor, his voice impossibly mimicking the sound of a mono recording from a bygone time. Mimzy is going to owe you big-time.

"I'm doing well, sir. I have to say, you look like you've had an awful day."

"It is... most inconvenient," he stammers, shaking his head like a beached animal trying to throw off water. Just as Mimzy had requested, you'd waited for him in the private room, and you're still laying in the bed, your body draped across the two rows of firm pillows, down to your lingerie for his ease. With wobbling steps, he begins to close the distance, loosening his bowtie.

"I really must insist that this matter... stay between us." The restraint he's displaying seems as though it's taking every bit of faculties he can spare; his breathing, his sight, his ability to stand, all seem to be sustained with the minimum amount of effort possible. Even glazed in electric red, you can tell his eyes are focused intently on you.

"Who would believe me, anyhow?"

"... Too true, no one would dream of calling me a liar," he agrees, pulling his waistcoat off and leaving it in a heap on the bureau. His undershirt is the same deep red, intersecting black stripes making a cross across the center of his chest. He rolls his sleeves up, then sets his cane on top of his waistcoat. "Any... sensitivities I should know about?"

"I like being kissed on the neck," you venture, playing it safe for opening bids.

He laughs wickedly, the glow casting light further than it could reach before, his antlers growing another section in size, branching out that much closer to the ceiling. "Oh, Mimzy didn't tell me you'd be so pure. Surely you have something more entertaining than that?"

"You think I do this sort of thing often enough to have an itemized list?"

He tuts at your attempt at banter, removing his shoes and leaving them in the gap under the bed. "I don't have time for experimentation, my dear. I'm asking if you think you can handle what I have to give."

"I've handled everything so far," you smirk.

"Let's see how you handle the best, then," he mutters. With a wave of his hand, a black tentacle rises to wrap around your midsection, pinning you in place. He's climbing onto the bed, teeth bared like an animal seconds from pouncing. There's hunger in his eyes, desperation in his motion, a frantic bent to the way he's starting to falter, his kayfabe crumbling with every push of his knees. He's got your legs open, mounting you, and you can feel something alive and thrashing, barely contained by the slacks tenting away from his midsection. His eyes are narrowed in ravenous anticipation, his hips pressing him into you, etching his longing lengthwise against the fabric of your underwear. You feel your upper teeth against your lip, knowing that despite all your talk, you can't hide how appreciative you are of his straightforward approach.

With a hoarse exhale, he fumbles with his belt, the restraining tentacle slipping southward to yank your panties down. Your eyes catch a glimpse of how prepared you are for what's coming next, the evidence staining a dark spot in the light fabric. The Radio Demon hikes his slacks down to the midsection of his thighs, the tip of his firmness kissing against your entrance, his erratic movements keeping him from slipping in. You take it in your hands, which makes him rear up in ecstasy, a hissing growl punctuating the reaction, and align it directly where it needs to go. With a thrust motivated by nothing more than primal need, he forces himself deep into you, grunting in satisfaction at your breathy gasps when it settles into your apex. He gives you little time to adjust, burying himself into you with harsh, crushing strokes, the red in his eyes leaving a tracer every time you shut your eyes against the force of it. His hands are against your forearms, pinning the both of them on either side, and when your head goes back, he finds the crook of your neck with his teeth, his tongue, his lips, seasoning you with scratches, leaving welts from kisses and bites. They sting like fire, they excite like aphrodisiac.

"Is that what you mean, my dear? Is that what you're looking for?"

You whimper something that sounds close enough to assent for him to grow bolder, making a map of your body, marking a trail, carving canyons, raising landmarks that stand red and pulsing against the canvas of your skin. All this in the throes of his rutting deep into you. It drives you mad, your legs wrapping around his waist, bidding him to see just how much of his mind he can lose.

"God, your fucking taste. It'd be such a shame to just devour you, though. So many uses for the whole." Or maybe you're using the homophone of that word to make him seem kinder.

A flailing hand finds your throat, freeing your arms by necessity. You catch onto the rack of black antlers nearly driving themselves into the headboard, using them for leverage to arch your back. You can't tell if you've irritated or excited him with your little move, but the result is the same; he's pressing you with enough force that you can feel the force of it in your midsection. You're seeing red, the sound of him making a mess of you ringing in your ears, two organs vying for sensations yet to be experienced, every other part of you a mere pretense, a chorus playing ensemble to the true performance. And he's reaching the climax of it, his bucking hips shaking your entire frame. You can feel every shift of his disposition in the bone of his antlers, and you hold on for dear life as his urge rushes into your lower half, filling you with thick heat. You're moaning unconsciously, letting him keep you impaled for as long as it pulses with diminishing vigor, feeling every twitch in his shaft as it empties itself. Finally spent, he releases you, the tentacle unwinding from around your waist. Your fingers, knuckles sore from strain, release his antlers, and you extricate yourselves from one another. You can feel his seed weep from between your legs, your breathing rapid, your skin slick with sweat. He collapses onto his back, his legs still entangled with yours, the fabric of his slacks a strange texture on your drenched skin. Straining, you lift your head up, seeing that despite his exhaustion, his cock hasn't calmed one bit.

"Still... not satisfied?"

"This damnable rut..."

You pull yourself up, your lower half numb and leaving a trail of translucence as you crawl to the space between his legs. You wrap a hand around him, and he breathes a hissing inhale that tapers into a low, long groan.

"I didn't ask you..."

"You look like you're in misery, you really don't want the help?"

"I am in no position to keep going..."

"So let me handle it."

You can see the conflict playing out in his expression, but his hips gently bucking against your hand tell a different tale. "Not a soul can know about this."

You nod your assent, giving the part that needs it more of your attention. It's as lively as when he was frotting it against you, throbbing with want, coated with spend. It makes a marvelous lubricant, the wet sound of skin against slick skin nearly obscuring his quiet moans.

"I couldn't help but notice that you have sensitivities of your own, sir."

"Surely you can't mean..."

Your free hand dances like a bird across the branches in his horns, his vocalizations and submissive thrusts suggesting that you have stricken quite the nerve. He's already oozing pre into your palm, a searching hand walking a blind path between your legs, caressing you in kind. You've got a wild idea, just crazy enough to sound worth doing. There's a real chance you'll never cross each other's path again, might as well indulge. You spot a path that ends in a blunt point in his rack, and take it into your mouth, flitting your tongue against the rough material, firm and tasteless, but eliciting such a response from him that you'd not dare release it. His fingers are stroking you with all the effort they can muster, his thrusts weak but sincere.

"Cannot believe... you're getting away with this," he whines, his voice so submissive compared to the one you first heard that it threatens to send you over the edge. Why not press your luck? You straddle his waist, inching him into you margin by maddening margin. He's got no more clever quips for you, his curled claws clutching fistfuls of ruined bedsheets. The view from on high is a pleasant one. A few more motions, and you feel that sensation alighting in him once again; you're ready to join him. His whimpers go up an octave, the crackling filter in his voice thickening, distorting. For the second time, he climaxes inside of you, your own orgasm arriving in tandem. The both of you cry out, his subdued and sweet, yours unrestrained and carnal. You fold into him, his initial reaction wanting to pull away, but he grants you this favor, letting you find the crook in his neck in parallel. He speaks unfiltered, more as Alastor than as the Radio Demon.

"You know, it can be so hard to find willing assistants for these difficult times. Perhaps I could call on you again, my dear."

Maybe it should be you that owes Mimzy.

#alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor x you #radio demon x reader #the radio demon #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel

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thegoldencontracts · 20 days

Note

ONE OF MY TWST OCS IS A TOTAL TSUNDERE WHAT THE HELL

Make twst tsundere content, I DARE you(I'd say I'd match you with content of my own, however it is drama and science finals week and I'd rather not burn myself out on more than one front bc my english final is next week. So I will not guarantee that lmao BUT STILL THAT SOUNDS AWESOME MAKE THAT CONTENT I WILL EAT IT UP)

- thoughtlessdesires

THANK YOU SOMEONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDSSSSS

Hello, you there, yes, YOU 🫵 can help make tsundere twst by uhh... idek man it's tsundere twst,,, it's cuteee i swearrr imagine THIS:

I-It's Not Like I Like You!

Summary: The Housewardens deal with their affection in the oddest of ways.

Notes: This is a taste of what we can make possible GUYS tsundere!twst is cute and it's not ridiculously ooc or smth like that i SWEAR- Also the last sentence in Azul's part is literally ripped straight from the third part of his dorm vignette (the tsundere potential of this man is so understated guys PLEASE let me yap here I have a point-)

Night Raven College; a place of raw meritocracy. Sentiment is rarely found, and affection is often mocked. Logic and strength are meant to take priority, and discord between students is common.

So what happens where these students find someone who treats them with kindness, understanding.

...Completely flounder, of course.

The housewardens, during one of their meetings, even discussed the dearest Ramshackle Prefect, so odd, so understanding. Kalim had brought the topic up, of course.

"...Why's this important?" Leona had said, a bored look on his face.

"I-Indeed," Riddle said. "The Prefect isn't particularly relevant to our current topic of discussion, regardless of accomplishments."

Azul sighed in his typical, overdramatic manner of his.

"How cold!" he said. "Kalim was merely doing his duty to discuss the needs of all students, regardless of how-"

His nose wrinkled.

"Talentless."

"Well, the Prefect's not that bad." A lukewarm praise. Even Kalim wasn't speaking highly of the Prefect? Just what was going on here?

"A total normie," Idia had said.

"It's true, the potato could use some work," Vil said,

Wow. These housewardens sure did hate you, didn't they?

Wrong! At that moment, all of the, were lying! They liked you. And no one in that room had any clue how to deal with it.

Riddle hasn't ever really got to experience relationships due to the stifling pressure of his mother. Thus, he has absolutely no clue how to handle the sudden affection for you he feels. He'd often stop by Ramshackle to help you with your homework. Just because you happened to need it way more than the others, of course. N-No ulterior motives here. What do you mean 'his face is red'? You're just imagining things!

Leona's always been treated like a cold, uncaring individual, and that's what he's used to. That leaves him completely flabbergasted when you suddenly start making him lovesick. He happens to "accidentally" drop money and the like while you were near. Not that he wants to help you, of course! He just doesn't really care about the money that much. Why're you looking at him like that? He's not that kind of sap!

Azul's childhood's left him used to rejection. After so long of being mocked for any desire of love and companionship, he's shunned it. Love's just business to him, an easily exploitable emotion. So he'll never be able to admit it now that he's the exploitable one. He gives you stuff... for free? Since when did he do that? Ask him about it and he insists he's just doing it for business' sake. What kind of business? Is he sure he doesn't just like you? W-What sort of foolish questions are those? Do you honestly think him capable of such an illogical sentiment as "attachment"?

Kalim, of course, isn't immune. Even he doesn't understand this. Someone actively returning his kindness? He's absolutely in love, and he doesn't know how to handle it. Although he won't be quite as abrasive as the others, he'll definitely struggle to admit his feelings. He might actually be less nice to you than to others. Not in a rude way, of course, he's just a bit quiet because he's always so flustered around you! Can you blame him?

Vil, too, despite his normal mentality of being candid and mature, struggles to handle his affection. He'll buy you skincare and the like. B-But, he'd do this for anyone, of course. There's nothing particularly special about the way he feels for you! Once again, though he isn't particularly defensive, he'll definitely struggle to admit his feelings, and it causes him boatloads of internal conflict. Why's he being so immature all of a sudden?

Idia doesn't get you. Why'd some normie suddenly have to start talking to him? J-Jeez, it's not like he enjoys your company or anything! Idia can vaguely recognize the word 'tsundere' in his head as he mulls over his interactions with you, but he denies it. Denying his feelings? U-Uh, what feelings?

"Looks like you have some competition, huh?"

"What competition, Lilia?" Malleus's face twisted in displeasure. "The Child Of Man- they're merely a friend."

Malleus doesn't know how to feel. He's never really had these sorts of close relationships before, so when his heart pounds around you and sparks seem to fly, he has no clue what to do. He's so deep in denial, partially due to his obliviousness when it comes to matters of sentiment and partially due to how he's used to being intimidating, and blushing like a schoolgirl around one's crush is the opposite of intimidating.

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venerawrites · 1 month

Note

Aww I love that you write for Kiba! He really doesn't get enough love so thank you! Can I please request headcannons for married and family life with Kiba, Kakashi, Gaara and Neji (with female reader)? Like being married and having children with them? They're my favourites and you write them so, so well. I hope that request is alright, please don't feel pressured to write it if you don't want to. I hope your week is amazing 🫶🏻

author's note: Kiba was one of my first fictional crushes and I totally agree he doesn't get enough love! Thank you so much for this beautiful request! I really hope you enjoy and that so far your week has been good! <3

➤ Kiba

Kiba as a husband is everything but boring!

During the first year or two, marriage would feel just like your relationship before that - laid back, chill and maybe a bit immature.

He is an amazing partner - he is very affectionate, never fails to make you smile and loves to surprise you.

However, when it comes to taking care of himself, he is like a big baby - I don't really see him doing any chores in the beginning of your relationship and even when he tries, more often than not he either burn or flood the kitchen.

Maybe it was fate or karma of some sorts, but I totally see you with twins or triplets!

If you thought life was crazy, wait till your house is full with hyperactive, unpredictable and loud Inuzukas.

Surprisingly, Kiba actually enjoy his role as a dad - probably because they all take after his personality, and tries to spend as much time with you and the children as possible.

Every time he has a free day, he organises a "family fun day" - more often than not, it is not that fun for you, as you have to run or yell after them to be careful while running/swimming/climbing etc.

While he would never get too much into housework, he will try to help around the house as much as he can, especially once you get back to work. (also, wouldn't do a good job and you would have to clean after his cleaning all the time, but it is the enthusiasm that counts!)

His attitude towards you would remain the same - he is just as in love with you as he was as a teenager, constantly trying to flirt with you with cheesy pick-up lines and smack your bum when you least expect it.

With multiple children, you probably won't have a lot of opportunities for spend time alone or go on dates, but you are both quite comfortable with your chaotic life.

He is definitely the laid-back and fun parent. Sorry, but you are going to have to be the "bad cop" - he can just bring himself to scold or punish your children.

He would often team up with them in order to prank you or his mother. Also, every bad word they learn by the age of six, is definitely his fault. (But hey, is it his fault they can remember every slip up?)

Kiba absolutely wants more children, so you better brace yourself, because I totally see you with another set of twins/triplets... it's these Inuzuka genes, what can I say!

➤ Kakashi

Surprisingly (or not so much since we are talking about Kakashi) your two children came before you got married.

You have been together for years and it worked perfectly, so what would a ring and a signature on a paper change? In the beginning, both of you were of the opinion "why fix something if it isn't broken?" and none of you see the point in marriage.

More or less, you were already acting as spouses - you tried to equally divide the household chores, but since he was working most of the time, you naturally took the role of the carer of the house, while he was the provider.

Once your first child was born, however, Kakashi started to seriously think of a change.

Since being a child, his life has been filled with battles, blood and loss - and he surely did not want for these things to be present in your baby's life.

However, change was hard and while he tortured his mind with ideas about how much happier you are going to be if both of you give up the shinobi life and move somewhere far, far away, he never voiced his thoughts out loud to you.

Kakashi is a very calm and loving dad - it almost come naturally to him, but you would notice something was bothering him, since as a partner he acted a bit more withdrawn.

When your second child was born, this is when he knew for sure he has to step down as a Hokage and retire from the ninja lifestyle once and for all. I imagine at this point, with two kids at home, you were retired as a shinobi.

When he brought the idea of moving in the outskirts of the village, he didn't expect for you to agree so quickly. You knew Kakashi for years, even before you got together, so you knew he really needed this break and detachment in the name of your family.

Once he left the position as a leader of the village, he focused 100% of his attention on you and your children - your oldest was a toddler by that time and while he felt sad because he felt like he missed the first two years of their life, he tried to enjoy every moment and stay grounded in the present.

He also finally decide it is time to propose and make you officially Mrs. Hatake - everything in your life was slowly falling into place and this felt like the only thing missing. (I imagine a small ceremony with both of your children as flower girls/page boys.)

Kakashi as a husband is the same as he was before that - loving, gentle, romantic, sometimes lazy, yet always attentive. The only difference is that he is even more relaxed and probably would pick up a random hobby such as gardening or maybe even writing?

Your have a very idyllic and peaceful life with him, and you wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

➤ Gaara

Married life with Gaara is hard in the beginning.

His work has been his whole life since he was a teenager, so when you finally tied the knot and, a few months later, welcomed your first child, he didn't know how to handle it.

He tried to juggle his job and his new role as a husband and father without any help for the first six months, but failed miserably.

The long hours he spend in the office definitely affected your relationship, especially since you are the one who had to give up your career in order to stay at home and take care of the baby.

There will be a rough period of time during you will be either ignoring each other or fighting with each other. Each of you will be upset, frustrated and annoyed with the other, but will not know how to fix things.

Don't get it wrong - this man loves you to death, but this is all new to him too! And it is especially stressful, since he never had a proper functioning family anyway.

Eventually, one night after another fight, you will sit down on the floor and share (or more likely scream at him) all the pent up frustration and worries you had been keeping inside.

From that moment everything changes.

Gaara would realise he needs to spend more time with his family, so he will probably promote Kankuro to a "shadow Kazekage" or any other title, under which he can replace him in the office some days of the week.

You start communicating more and soon fall in a natural rhythm - he is definitely a man that likes to do everything 50-50 with you, including care of the baby and household chores.

A very gentle and attentive husband - he always listen to your advice and tries his best to keep the spark between you by organising surprise getaway weekends for both of you every so often or by bringing you flowers/gifts when he comes home from work.

I would imagine given his position, he would try to influence to remain at home - he has always been worried about your safety and the potential risk of his enemies targeting you, but since you were now also the mother of his child, his worry slowly turned into a paranoia.

He will respect your decision no matter what, but if you decide to go back to work at some point - he will forget his morals and will abuse his role as a Kazekage in order to arrange some extra security to be around you at all times.

I feel like he will be a very calm dad in the beginning, but the more his children grew, the more nervous he became - babies are easy to manage, but toddlers? Pre-teens? Oh, Kami!

Naturally, he is very anxious about his performance as a parent, so please provide him reassurance every now and then, just so you can ease his mind!

Nevertheless, he is great with your child and they absolutely adore him. If you had a girl, she will totally be daddy's girl. If you had a boy, he would dream one day to grow up like Gaara.

I totally see you guys adopting some family traditions like Sunday dinner, "come-with-dad-to-work" Thursdays or book Fridays.

Gaara is going to be satisfied with one child, two at most (only if they have at least five years difference).

➤ Neji

Neji was made to be a father and a husband!

Raised in a very traditional family, he has been dreaming about becoming a husband and father pretty much from the moment you got together.

I think you would be married for about a year, before your first child is born, during which you will get you own house in the Hyuga compound, arrange its interior and enjoy your life as newlywed couple.

He will never command you or restrict your freedom in any way, but he will definitely influence a lot of your decisions.

For starters, it is expected that you will stop working and become a housewife, as any other woman married into the clan has done before.

I feel Neji loves you enough to respect your wishes if you decide not to do it, but he will still insist being the main provider for your family. (Do not resist him on this one, it is quite important for him!)

That doesn't mean he won't help around the household, especially after your child is born - he is actually very, very good cook and will take care of your dinners at least a few times per week.

As a father, I imagine he is very caring and loving, but will become more strict as they start to grow older. He values fairness and order a lot, so it will for sure reflect in his parenting style.

Your child absolutely adores him though - Neji is definitely their role model and the best teacher. You, on the other hand, will be the more laid-back parent, using any chance to spoil them or treat them with some extra sweets/toys behind Neji's back.

Neji is very confident as a parent, so he won't really have any worries about how you are raising your little one. What worries him, however, is how much less time you are both spending together.

I think once your child reach toddler age, he would start declining more and more missions, so he can stay at home. I also imagine that seeing his growth and commitment to the family, Hiashi would involve him in the leadership of the clan.

He will still find time to organise little dates just for both of you or late midnight walks, when you can enjoy only each other's company.

He would grow more serious and less fun with time, but given how much responsibilities he how stressful his life is, you would try and support him in every decision he makes (even when you are not fully convinced by his reasoning).

Your love would blossom from fun and carefree to mature and responsible. (& tbh I think that is absolutely beautiful!)

Both of you want at least one more child, so I imagine you would get pregnant a two or three years after you gave birth to your first born.

cc artwork: Daniel Clarke

#kiba inuzuka #kiba x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi x reader #sabaku no gaara #gaara x reader #neji hyuga #neji x reader #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons

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lululandd · 11 months

Text

rabid; (i.)

pairing: platonic simon ‘ghost’ riley x gn!reader

word count: 956

warnings: comedy, aftermath of torture, mild gore

note: heheh >:3 (also on ao3)

summary:

ghost has a love-hate relationship with his neighbour of six years. on one hand they’re quiet enough, nice enough, considerate enough and never once had bothered him in any way, but on the other hand he is a highly trained soldier with highly trained senses and the things he hears travelling through his walls are batshit insane.

part i. | part ii. | part iii. | part iv.

He guesses they are an entertainer or a comedian or some sort because on rare occasions, they—whether he wanted to or not—made him laugh. The absurdity of the questions and things that came out of their mouth really makes him feel like he has a glimpse of what a worry free civilian life could be.

On one particularly rowdy night he heard the one sided conversation about anal, which rapidly escalated to how peoples arseholes can stretch up to seven inches in diameter and therefore, theoretically could fit two smaller raccoons.

He listened in fascinated horror how that thought came into their mind, how they associated arseholes with raccoons, and why in christ fuck did they sound so cheerful about it. Maybe he’s just a battle hardened, workaholic soldier that has only seen carnage and suffering, but even if such a thought came to his mind, it would not be classified as a happy thought and he would not laugh about it.

Until eight months later where he’s interrogating an American that he really wants to just straight up murder and remembers his neighbour.

He opens the door that leads to the rest of the warehouse and calls out to his men, “I need two raccoons. Small but not pups.”

He was met with silence and a confused looks, but he saw Gaz and Soap get on it and round up several soldiers.

“Alive!” He barked at them.

—

Soap looked worriedly at Gaz, “What do you think he’s gonna do with live raccoons?”

The other man shrugged, “You think he’s gonna threaten him with rabies?” Gaz gnashed his teeth together, “Let them bite him or something?”

One of the Lance Corporals behind them chimed, “I kinda wanna see.”

In came a chime of ‘yeah’s from the other men.

—

Ghost had made sure the American in question heard his request of the live raccoons before taking a seat on the table holding all his tools and lighting up a cigarette.

He looked at the man’s surroundings, the litter of teeth and nails on the floor, three parts of his severed ring finger, and the blood splatters on the makeshift plastic floor. The cleanup crew’s gonna at least be a little happy about that.

“You like raccoons, mate?” He offers, lighting what seemed to be his third cigarette.

The question caught him off guard. “What?”

“Raccoons. Trash pandas. Those chubby lil wankers with grubby hands.” He curled his palms and did mock scratching motions.

“You’re crazy.” He spat.

“I am.” For even thinking of trying this over his neighbour’s demented jokes.

Fourty five minutes later Gaz came knocking on his door.

“Got your furry friends, boss.” He gestures at a cage sitting by the door. The animals seemed calm, they couldn’t have just nicked it from some random bins and throw them in there.

“Cheers, Gaz.” He saw the man linger. “Anything else?”

“Can we observe, Sir?”

“No.” came his quick answer. If he really has to do what he thinks he’s gonna do, he’d rather his men not see it. They’ve seen so much in their line of work already, he doesn’t want to add to their nightmares.

Imagining one of them having PTSD from seeing a harmless animal makes him feel guilty.

He took the cage from Gaz’s hands and placed it nicely on the floor, a little way away from the American’s feet.

“You know that saying?” He puts on his best southern accent, mimicking Graves. “What crawled up your butt and died?”

The man’s eyes widened and he tried so hard to shift further into his seat, trying to create as much distance between them as possible. Ghost lets the moment go on for a little longer. It makes all the difference, really; whether you rush into the torture or letting them sit and wonder about the choices they think they have.

“I heard somewhere that your arse can stretch up to seven inches in diameter.” He pointed at the raccoons, “The normal sized bastards can fit into a four inch hole. But I’m being nice today and gonna give these smaller ones some wiggle room.”

He can’t help but crouch closer to the cage and coo at them as the man starts yelling for help.

“So.” He said in a calm voice, listing his head slowly when the man had stopped screaming his throat dry. “Since I’m a very nice man today I’m gonna give you two options.”

Fat rolls of tears had started to run down the man’s cheeks, his chest heaving as he begged for mercy.

“Do you want me to sedate these raccoons so they don’t claw your insides or do you wanna..” He remembers a word that floated into his flat one night, “..rawdog it?”

—

Soap had never seen a cleaner interrogation room before. Not from Ghost, the man’s usually so brutal about it. He remembers seeing parts of a live brain one time because Ghost had bashed their skull so badly and remembered having to shoot the person dead out of pity. But today? The intel was good, the man was still alive with almost all of his body parts; save for some of his teeth and nails and the chopped up finger,

and the raccoons.

They were alive and Ghost seemed to never have opened the cage at all.

—

When Ghost came home that month he heard his neighbour say something about a ‘little birthday celebration’ for tomorrow. He checked his watch and decided to walk to the bakery and get them some cake. That last operation went smoothly, and he has them to thank.

He can’t wait to hear what other mental things that will come out of their mouth in the future and apply them to his work.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #call of duty imagines #call of duty #scuffed writing

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saiidahyunie · 2 months

Text

red or black

kim dahyun x f!reader

synopsis: two colors, two instances, two sides.

warnings: smut ; thigh riding ; strap-on usage ; degrading ; some praise ; reader giving/receiving ; dahyun giving/receiving ; switch dynamic? ; some sub/dom discovery? ; mean dahyun ; sahyo pairing ; small datzu crumbs ; not proofread (latter half of this was written on my phone :P)

a/n: finally on spring break! more dahyun content from me as always :)

in vegas, they say the house always wins.

when it comes to rolling on the roulette wheel, there are only two outcomes: red or black. a winner and loser. you either win it all or walk away empty-handed.

red and black however, can be applied to many things; in the context of opposites, a battle between two clashing egos, two different colors, contrasting ideals or philosophies. or better yet,

a safe word or preference that’s used in the relationship between you and dahyun.

it first started out to be more of an experiment of sorts. limit testing the possible theory of how one would handle the other. an interchangeable dynamic, the good ol’ switcheroo. dahyun was the one who was forward with the idea, you being hesitant because at the time you didn’t figure out what things you liked/not liked in the bed, turn ons/offs, or anything that wasn’t limited to a degree for that matter.

“so? what do we think?!” dahyun asks you one night out of the blue, laying on your thigh while sitting on the couch.

“what do i think?” you say, “i’m not sure, dubu. i don’t know how i feel about the whole…well…you know.”

“but it’ll be interesting!” she beams, sitting upright on her knees and eyeing you like a little kid waiting for their toy. “besides, sana has been telling me to check out some of the different categories that she’s been experimenting with jihyo and momo.”

“well dahyun,” you reply back at her enthusiasm for curiosity. “it’s still all new to me…” voice trailing off as you try to scan around the living room, not willing to meet dahyun’s eager eyes. “i would consider it but i’m just worried about how it’ll affect our relationship going forward.”

dahyun presses a comforting kiss to your cheek, embracing you with her infectious bubbliness that even makes the other girls fall a little bit more in love with her when it comes to hanging out in a group setting. this side of her was more reserved for you, exclusively.

“trust me,” she starts. “the sex that we’ve been having is good, amazing, just—you can probably describe it more better than i can.” you can’t help but laugh at the countless nights and endless times you found yourself sunk to your knees, kissing every single parts that you know all too well at this point, worshiping the wonderful body created on dahyun to your liking.

“this won’t be any different, just a new approach to having fun!”

“you and i have two very different definitions of having fun.”

a brief pause hangs your tongue, pressed against the inside of your cheek while you’re staring at the simple (but deadly) smile dahyun offers. considering, and you might still ponder this at different times but until then, you say,

“alright. i’m in.”

dahyun lunges forward for a hug, nose nestled in the underside of your neck where your jaw meets and lips tickling the area below it, humming gleefully.

“thank you, y/n. really.” she replies, giving you a quick peck before she swipes her laptop off of the coffee table, clicking on the keyboard and tapping to an open tab for you to see what she was talking about. “now i just want you to skim through this website for me, and answer this. what color would you like to be?”

—

(so that’s how it begins, to some sort of extent. for anyone that’s curious enough to even bother ask about a backstory, here it is:

the connection with dahyun really just came out of nowhere. you stumble into a new class that was heavily focused on group work. typically, momo was the first person that you would try to spot out to save yourself from the trouble of hitting the usual checklist of icebreakers that make you on the inside cringe from embarrassment.

luckily, the social butterfly that minatozaki sana was, swooped you in before the professor could even say a word to you.

she brings you to this small huddle of about 4-5 people, the list as follows: park jihyo (her girlfriend), miyeon (the day one bestie and also her other ‘girlfriend’), myoui mina (the rich, cool girl that appears used to being approached by all the top modeling agencies given with her appearance).

and lastly, dahyun. who was more of a wildcard in the grand scheme of things (or so you thought.)

brief introductions are shared; getting to know the basics of favorite song, food place, boba order, and a superficial hint of what they like in a girl is all being bounced around while you catch yourself stealing glances between you and dahyun all throughout the class activity. small talk was the first wall, but once that was over, everything that followed seemed to come along as a breeze.

you’d have to give credit to sana though, playing the role of matchmaker to speed up the process.

eventually, from moving through the ranks of acquaintances to friendship to calls and texts sent back and forth between each other. waiting after class and getting a quick bite at the nearest cafe cart brewed towards “something more.” few dates follow more frequently, and you have the courage to pop the golden question to dahyun one friday night before heading out to the club (we already know what the answer is so why bother telling it?)

a month passes, then a few months after. which brings us up to now. that’s it, nothing more.)

—

the first instance that comes is red.

dahyun was finishing up her studies while living on campus in one of the nearby dorms. you lived in one of the nearby apartments that was only a few minute drive and around the corner, so distance wasn’t really a big problem for either of you.

it’s nearing the end of the semester, and people are cramming everything into their books and laptops in the last corner of the academic year. cafe’s are being filled up, counselors are giving last bits of advice to students who need it, and dahyun has no issues with her classes whatsoever.

speaking of issues, there was one slight problem: you were kinda banned from seeing your girlfriend.

while jotting down notes on the desk, dahyun looks at her phone that had a few notifications from you that were images of smol cats doing random activities. the last message you sent was about what to eat for a study break. dahyun gave you a few options that were around campus and there was a nearby food spot close to her dorm, anything to get closer to her even if you were put on unnecessary suspension.

she gets startled when there’s a sudden sound coming from outside of her fire escape on the second floor, opening the curtains to see a black silhouette squatting down to match the level of the window. the eerie presence puzzling her for just a moment before she sees a light shine on a face.

you.

without a moment’s hesitation, dahyun opens the window for you while the hood is unsheathed from your head. there's a shuffle around the small space in the middle lane with both ends occupied by two beds, but dahyun closes the window, raising the lamp upward facing the ceiling before returning her gaze to you.

her eyes see you sitting on the edge of her bed, legs crossed over and both hands in the pocket of your hoodie. the thicker clothing on top of the hoodie was a leather aviator jacket that made it look like you were right straight out of that one top gun movie, but you lean back slightly, never changing your upright position.

“sorry to scare you like that, hope you were on your study break.” you say with a low tone tilting your head towards her, patting down the open space next to you on her bed.

“are you crazy?” dahyun asks you, ignoring the sudden heat flushing through her cheeks as she makes her way towards you, patting down her thigh to ease her bit of nervousness. “you know you’re not supposed to be here, even when yunjin said—”

“she says that, but doesn’t mean it.” you reply, taking off your aviator jacket while dahyun sits next to you, putting a leg over and letting her arms fall on your shoulders. “besides, her and i just had a small…disagreement.”

dahyun arches a brow while you’re flashing a gooey smile, smirking after when you’re tapping her knee cap over your leg. “uh huh.” she says, remembering the little bust up with your team captain yunjin at lacrosse practice at the beginning of the week. since she was dahyun’s roommate, it was more of a lenient punishment because of the overcompetitiveness almost affecting the team. so, you weren’t allowed to see dahyun until the whole ordeal blew over, knowing that you wouldn’t listen—here you were in her room.

“well, i guess you can stay for a bit.” dahyun says, “i still have to review before yunjin—”

“she’s not coming back.”

“what? why?!”

“yunjin’s hanging out with kazuha and chaewon. my best guess is that they’re just talking about some lacrosse team stuff, nothing too serious.”

you lean your head on dahyun’s shoulder, fingers tracing along the perfect skin on her thigh, just stopping right before her ass. giving a quick look with the eyes, you smack your lips, “don’t tell me you’ve been studying here all day, have you?”

“well– i– i mean…”

sighing out confirming the suspicion, you lift dahyun’s leg, shifting it over yours, and she’s straddling your lap—her arms never moving on your shoulders once she’s all settled in. “since you’ve been hitting the books while i’ve been napping, why don’t you tell me what you’ve been going over so far?” hand moving along the underside of her thigh, you take the hint that she’s not wearing any underwear beneath her shorts. “sleeping for a bit would be a perfect solution for you over that reading that you’re always doing.”

“you don’t want to hear what i’ve read.”

“just like, one thing. for me dubu?” you ask, hand on her hip, lightly moving dangerously close to the growing wet spot between her legs.

dahyun knows that she’s being worked over with the amount of short, hitched breaths being let out in frequent succession. “i was just reading about– fuck, how w-we as humans are more prone t-to be more impatient in psycholog- baby that’s–”

“hmm,” you hum with your moving hands on her hips, looking up at your flustered girlfriend riding you, dahyun trying to neglect the friction and growing heat very poorly. “patience huh. maybe you could teach me a thing or two about that more, right?”

all you hear is a small whine being sounded while you’re smiling, dahyun’s face looking a little more out of it with her slacked jaw, eyes half-lidded and nearly closing. “think you can teach me some patience baby?” hands continuing to move at a consistent pace, dahyun’s clit rubbing against the fabric and your leg making her twitch slightly, the sensation now rising up throughout her body as time passes.

“y-yes, but–” her words are jumbled up agaisnt her teeth. “i wanted to see you…”

“i did miss you too, honey, and i'm right here, don't worry.” your voice is a bit deeper now, continuing to roll dahyun’s hips on your leg while she clutches the hood of your jacket more tightly. “maybe you can shower me with a few compliments, to get your mind off of studying for a bit.” you whisper in her ear as you carry on moving her hips back and forth.

dahyun’s moans coming out of her leaves you in pure adoration, sputtering different aspects of you that you’ve heard before, not while she’s rocking on your leg to the point where the sentences are sounding more run-on than usual. the small mumbles of god- please- more- yes- followed by more yeses. you can feel the wetness seeping past dahyun’s shorts and onto your sweatpants.

“my baby’s working so hard in school, she deserves to have a nice break, hmm? all of the other girls wishing they were in my place with you riding my leg like this?” you say into her chest, leaving feathery kisses to the upper profile below her clavicle.

“y/n– you’re– shit, so fucking– god– the way you speak to me like t-that,” she tries to say to you, head dipping down near your collarbone, speaking nonsense. “i love- everything about y-you baby. the way your hands– fucking fuck me up so good–”

“there we go pretty.” you say, nicking her chin up so that you can meet her eyes, adjusting your leg slightly by lifting it higher to make it look like she’s sliding down. her pants are making you lackluster, dark, the struggling breath riling you up as well the more she’s trying to stay upright on your leg.

“i can feel you close for me dubu, you wanna cum just like this? grinding on my thigh until you fucking get off?” you’re gripping the back of her neck with your left hand while the right one rolls her hips more into you.

“s-so fucking close, god. y/n, baby—”

“shhh,” you comfort her, “you’re gonna look so good cumming for me baby. let it go, i’ll take care of you. i always do.”

dahyun lets out a whimper of appreciation when you’ve given the go-ahead, the grip on her ass becoming more tight as the slick coming out of her leaves your leg completely soaked. she has her arms around your neck now, closely, allowing your free reign to leave nibbles across the unmarked canvas of her throat while she’s moaning in your ear, causing you to grunt from the infectious lust growing between you two.

“cum for me baby. i need to hear it, need to feel it.” you growl, bruising her skin.

she hears your voice down her ear, and it’s all too much. your large hands clutching to her waist. dahyun lets you have your way with her body, riding out the chain reaction of whines and moans and all sounds of the pleasure that consumes her, the sensation of her cumming to the point where she’s reduced to whimpering into your hoodie.

you steady the pace soon after, short exchanges of breaths are now filling the room as dahyun slowly grinds her sopped, worked core, still wanting more, but that’s for later.

“stress relieved?” you ask, smiling against her warm face. you can feel her breath tickle your neck as she lets her hands roam across the plane of your back. sometimes you’re still in disbelief that this woman you love has a near perfect waist the way your hands just link around it so easily.

“i-i should go back to studying,’ dahyun answers. “but i do feel better y/n, thank you. ”

“i have a new idea.”

dahyun is then flipped over the bed, shorts now discarded exposing her swollen pussy lips to you, taking off your hoodie that shows a sports bra that made your breasts appear even larger—and dahyun can’t help herself to stating, biting her lip at the potential site for more marks to be made.

“we should study each other’s bodies again, deal?!”

you wonder if you can hear dahyun swallow the moment you dive down for her again.

—

the second instance, black, comes a bit later and completely out of nowhere.

you’re not even prepared for what was about to occur.

to bring it up to speed: you’re shit-faced drunk. mumbling and humming noises that sound like a boxer in a comatose state. the pattern on the floor looks familiar—giving an indication that you were at your apartment (or at least on the way back).

dahyun was hobbling your wasted ass back into your apartment, hands and legs clearly uncoordinated, stumbling and propping up on anything that was in close proximity around the place with her carrying you back into your room, carelessly tossing you on the bed while she slammed the door harshly behind her.

you may or may not have had some -too many- shots in your system, the count already lost a while back—the more apparent elephant in the room is brought back to you when dahyun clutches your shoulders, eyes filled with rage, sitting you straight on the edge of the bed.

“what in the fuck were you thinking!?” she asks you, clutching the delts of your body with an iron grip, your neck keeling your head over causing dahyun to rake your hair in pulling back up, her hand now clutching the collar of your shirt that reeked of the booze you mindlessly spilled on you while drinking. “you’ve gotta be out of your mind for kissing my ex in front of me earlier.”

“who? oh! you mean tzuyu?!” you say, speech slurred, giggling at the sentence passing through your lips. “shit, i musta forgot, silly me—”

dahyun’s hand is quick around your neck, stopping your act and letting the proper thought of rationalization combating the effects of alcohol in your brain for a slight second, airflow halted with a harsh choke, tongue reeling back into your throat the more her fingers gripped around it.

“my fucking ex.” dahyun seethes out, grabbing your cheeks and leaning in closer against your cheek. “you crossed the line with that one.” she pushes you away, slipping off her jacket that revealed a black compression shirt underneath, the hints of muscles here and there from her arms to her shoulders.

she paces around in front of you, strategizing what to do with you while you sit there with hands fiddling with the end of the comforter below you. your heart is racing from the impending rage that was unraveling, wondering what dahyun will do next. the way she’s not even making eye contact from your lowered position makes you look up like a pleading child asking their parents for something.

keeping yourself together like this was near impossible, not when dahyun looked so good with this kind of attitude, something that momo and the others have said they were afraid of, but not you.

“where is it?”

“what!?”

“don’t make me repeat myself.” dahyun says sternly, pulling on the peak of your chin, “show me where she left it.”

“i don’t know what you’re—“

“the fucking hickey, y/n. show me where she marked you.” her tone sending a shiver down your skin while you tried to resist the urge to squirm under the touch. “you’ve already got me with your little stunt this morning, but you’re not getting away a second time.”

you and dahyun hardly fight over something in the relationship. most of your arguments are just disagreements that didn’t really spell anything too serious. this changed when dahyun turned down your imitations for sex three times because of a dumb mistake you did (not worth remembering what it was because the punishment was worse than the supposed crime).

after those failed attempts, this made you snap on the inside. satisfying the high sex drive you had was the only thing in your head, and you were gonna do whatever it takes, even if it has to make dahyun completely lose control. kissing her ex tzuyu that you saw at the party earlier was the last push that you needed, making eye contact with her in the crowd while you were smacking on the girl’s lips and letting her mark you front of dahyun.

the second reminder comes back, you edging out dahyun while she was getting ready this morning for an important meeting with one of the clubs that she was a high ranking board member in, the hushed curse of your name being moaned out while you relentlessly pounded and licked up her helpless cunt, her fingers raked around your head when you perched her on the bathroom sink. she didn’t want to give in to the pleasure, but she does, always does.

once you left her high with no release, you were sure that dahyun wouldn’t go throughout the day without having a single thought about you. in a doubled down effort, you sent her pictures of yourself in underwear at different times during her schedule to ensure that the thought would stay fresh in her mind. needless to say, it worked.

“clothes off.” dahyun says. “don’t make me repeat it a second time.”

all you did was just shake your head, dahyun lets out a ‘tsk’ slapping you in the face, forcing you to look away with one eye closed, cheek stinging from the contact of her hand.

“baby,” calling you while she soothes the light red mark on your cheek with her thumb. “show. me. the. mark.”

you comply, pulling the collar of your shirt to show a stark red hickey across your collarbone. dahyun sighs out while looking down, pressing the bridge of her nose before muttering something to herself. along the lines of what a fucking idiot you were.

dahyun’s strength surprised you at times and before you even knew it, your back was against the headboard of your bed, staring up to the ceiling while she slid off your pants. hers also came off, hand trailing up your leg to the seam of your panties, noticing a hint of wet in between the threads.

“you’re fucking wet? wanted to see me being rough with you? fucking little slut’s enjoying too much of this.”

you’re whimpering when she’s leaving more marks up your neck, holding both of your wrists. thighs rubbing together of built up sexual frustration that you were the catalyst in creating, but the thought and lust filled aura dahyun was possessing blinding you with delusion that you’d get what you want.

“dahyun…please—“

“now you’re begging?!” she scoffs out, snickering while she holding your face up again. “some audacity you have, bitch.”

you feel dahyun’s fingers hook on the elastic of your panties sliding off, then nails moving upward on your legs. in a futile attempt to wiggle out from dahyun’s touch, she stops herself, gets up from the bed and walks over to a corner in your room to grab something. she pulls out a box in her hand that makes your eyes roll at what she has.

the throbbing sensation rises between your thighs, closing your eyes again, brows knitting together from the euphoric false belief that dahyun would let you off easy.

a shift of weight in the bed presents itself when you open your eyes again after a few moments, the sight alone makes your cunt throb and your heart quicken.

she has a purple silicone strap-on. the one that you bought with your own money about two weeks ago to use on dahyun—-the first proper use of it being on you now.

dahyun shifts towards you on the bed. compression shirt now boldening with tense muscles and her underwear was off replaced with the plastic cock, unsure of what do with it, but clear of who to use it on, straddling your waist again before scorching up to your chest, the tip lightly poking your chin.

“spit.”

ever the good listener, you spit on the plastic tip, dahyun lightly stroking it lightly to get the saliva around the shaft more.

“suck.”

the commands are coming simple and easy, the only thing you’re able to do is just follow and submit, opening your mouth to let the purple tip in, lightly bobbing just past the tip while dahyun supported the back of your head with her hand, pushing you to go a bit deeper each time.

“so pretty with a cock in your mouth, even better when my slut is taking mine.” she laughs out, pulling away to slap her cock on your wet, pouty lips. you’re looking at her with pleading eyes, stroking your cheek again, dahyun drinking in the sight of you being like this for her.

she slaps it on your mouth a couple more times before moving off, leaving you harsh kisses from your lips down to your neck, to the chest, down to the waist, and—

“please, just fuck me. let me have— i just want you.”

dahyun seems to understand what your desires are, pulling you from the hips so that you’re laying on the bed now. parting your legs wider to put herself in the middle, teasing your folds with her cock slightly slapping it before slipping inside just past the head—the sound that leaves your lips is so low, breaking.

you’re clutching onto her wrists as she’s bruising your skin at the hips with her nails. the tightness too hard to bear when dahyun sinks deeper, flushing the whole plastic toy inside you.

“o-oh my fucking god.”

she pulls out and snaps her hips back in, leaving you no time adjust. a few locks of her hair falls over her forehead as she gets picks up her pace, the tempo gradually increasing until she couldn’t contain herself, going all the way—full send.

“w-wait babes, sta—nngh! fuck—it hurts…”

the slick sound of your fucked pussy on top of the symphonic tones of your breaths and moans combined fill up the room, fulfilling the fantasy that you’ve dreamed of doing to dahyun, almost.

“i don’t care if you’re in pain, not when i see a slut get frisky with my fucking ex.” she’s having fun with this also, taking out the frustrations and anger that you created throughout the day earlier.

dahyun puts in two deep strokes into your cunt, causing you to arch your back from the pleasure, before pulling out and flipping you over, raising your hips to match hers before inserting inside again.

the pace of thrusts pick up again, dahyun’s hips now meshing with your ass perfectly. holding at the right angle to as she continues to pound and pound and pound and pound—

“does it hurt, baby? the way my cock is taking your slutty pussy like you deserve it hm? wanting me to fuck you like this for so long?!”

from you, barely, “god, yes.”

she then pushes you deep into the comforter, mercilessly thirsting to no end at the new angle to take you deep. the throaty moans and fucked out sounds getting to the best of you, clamping down her strap more and more as dahyun runs a hand through her hair—you imagine her doing it the same way that’s just insanely hot from the simple action.

“i wanna hear you say it bitch. who am i to you?” she’s growling over the nape of your neck and into your ear, never letting up her speed.

you’re half-sobbing-half-growling into the sheets, gripping onto the pillows for dear life, brain too far gone to answer right away.

“ah—mmph y-yours, fuck i’m all for you.”

reveling in the vibration of skin to skin contact, the both of you are nearing exhaustion. the way that your hips are shaking beneath dahyun as she pounds all of the noises she likes out of your pretty little mouth.

“fuck-you’re so perfect like this. i can see you getting close—“

you’re yelling into the soft cushion of the pilllow, dahyun not amused at the act of playing it safe. she pulls you by the hair, lifting you upright with her, the strap becoming more and more difficult to move as you’re clenching hard around it.

“don’t shy away from me, slut.”

you liked the idea of being dominated, and that was the apparentness being brought clearly in this moment. dahyun had times where she got protective/possessive with certain things, but this was a brand new avenue that you probably prefer than previous occasions. to be fucked through with no remorse as she shoves your head back into the sheets, leaning over when you’re at the highest point of the night.

“da-fuck, please harder- fucking, ‘m gonna—cum—shit. baby god—don’t sto—“

“cum all over this cock baby. i’ll take care of you. i always do.”

the sentence alone was a silver-lining, and a daunting parallel.

“dahy—ah!” you cried out as dahyun fucked you through your (deserved?) orgasm. pleading and babbling and begging while you feel your body shut down, half drunk after being used.

dahyun slows her pace, hips bucking with every lethargic stroke, sliding the silicone cock out of your fucked cunt while she leaves light kisses down your back. she massages your red-marked ass while you just hum in satisfaction against the mattress.

you roll over on your back, the soft sounds and breaths matched with the simple movement of the lungs. in, out. in, and out. dahyun tosses off the wet slick strap, tending to your care with kisses and glances of love now shown—the possessive aura washed away completely.

just before your vision fades to black, she helps you lift your shirt up slightly, kissing down your body to the sensitive area between your legs. but before she does that, she goes back to your face one last time, planting a kiss to your cheek before whispering,

“my messy girl, let me clean you up.”

summarizing, we’ll leave it off with this: caught with a red flag at the party, blacked and fucked out by the end of it.

#hyunie #twice x reader #twice imagines #dahyun imagines #twice dahyun #kim dahyun #dahyun x reader #kpop smut #twice smut #kpop imagines #twice x you #dahyun x you #kim dahyun x reader #dahyun smut

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mouschiwrites · 4 months

Note

Hey can we get the Ninjas with an S/O who's basically Jessica rabbit and how they would deal with people constantly hitting on their S/O?

Of course my dear!! Unrelated but I love Jessica Rabbit,,,

Ninjago - Ninjas With an s/o Who Gets Flited With a Lot

Kai

When he first sees someone flirting with you, his initial reaction is a sort of pride

He's happy that other people are noticing how smoking hot his s/o is

But that only lasts for half a second; then comes the jealousy

He hops up and tries to look casual while he saunters over and wraps an arm around your waist

He'll stare coldly at the person flirting with you, trying to intimidate them

When it doesn't work he uses his voice, trying to show the person that they're not welcome

"And just who are you again?"

He'll only get more passive aggressive as the interaction goes on

There have been times that he's escalated it to straight-up aggression, and even violence, at which point you had to take it upon yourself to remove you both from the situation

You'll have to talk to him while he cools down, letting him vent about how angry the person was making him

In the end he knows it's not your fault and that you'd never leave him

Still, reassuring him on that front would probably help him calm down

He's just mad that some scumbag thought they could take you from him

After such an instance he usually sticks close to you, making sure to keep a hand on you to demonstrate that you're together

Cole

He doesn't really care when people flirt with you

He knows that it's only natural; you're the most gorgeous person in the world to him (and others, evidently)

He trusts that you'll be loyal and that you can handle yourself

But he still keeps an eye on you when out in public

He's watching to see if you're uncomfortable and need help; only then will he step in

He knows all your tells, but you guys also have a secret hand gesture that means you need help

So, when he sees the gesture, or any body language signaling that you're uncomfortable, he jumps into action

He sidles up to your side, placing himself as close as possible to you

He'll try to be at least somewhat pleasant at first: just emphasizing that you guys are dating, hoping to put the person off

But if that doesn't work he'll be more blunt

"Dude. You're being creepy. Get lost."

When they finally leave, he checks to make sure you're okay

Your well-being is much more important to him than any doubts he might have about your relationship

Not that he has any; he's fully confident that your relationship is strong

But if he did he'd still put you first

If you want him to be your body guard for the rest of the night, he'll happily oblige

(and he makes a pretty good guard, too, being so huge and intimidating (when he wants to be))

Jay

He HATES when people flirt with you

Like, he knows why; you're obviously always the most attractive person in the room

But you're his s/o! Other people shouldn't be flirting with you!

Sometimes he wishes that you could just wear a big sign that says "I'm taken"

(He has actually asked you to do this before)

The second he sees someone talking to you, he's already inching closer to see what's up

Even if they're not being outright flirty, he's still suspicious of them

He'll keep getting closer, not bothering to be sneaky at all

This often has the unintentional effect of the person leaving before he even gets within talking range

They just get creeped out that this guy is glaring at them while slowly yet steadily approaching

If they don't get scared off, he wraps an arm around you and intensifies his glare

He'll insert himself into the conversation crudely, speaking directly to you and "ignoring" the other person

"Hey, babe. Ready to go back to our shared apartment? Where we live together because we're partners?"

Then the person usually takes the hint, but by then they're probably more amused than annoyed

When they're finally gone Jay still watches them, still glaring

He's a little insecure that you'll leave him, just because you're so stunning (and, admittedly, sometimes the people flirting with you are, too)

He'll need lots of reassurance that he's good enough for you :(

Zane

Out of all the ninjas, Zane is the most bothered when people flirt with you

He knows he's not the best when it comes to romance, so he feels like every time someone flirts with you he's instantly being one-upped

It makes him more sad and insecure than anything

He knows that you're loyal to him, so he's not jealous

But he doesn't know why you're so adamant to stay with him, especially when someone flirts with you

He just frowns while he listens to their clever pick up lines, sometimes not even understanding them

It makes him feel a little better when you frown, too

When you send him the "a little help here?" look, though, that's when his heart skips a beat

It's his chance to show why he's the one you chose

He balks for half a second, but quickly gathers the courage to insert himself into the interaction

He places himself at your side, standing like a perfect gentleman and even smiling faintly (despite the fact that he feels a little inferior to the flirter)

Then it's your cue to emphasize what a gentleman he is, and how disinterested you are in everyone else

"This is my boyfriend, Zane. He's always so respectful in. Just look at how he's standing! Never gets all handsy or flirty in public, either."

Zane just nods, his smile growing along with his confidence

He needs to hear those words about as much as his "competitor" does

Once they're gone, he feels much more confident about himself and why you want to be with him :)

Lloyd

Lloyd respects you immensely; he knows you're loyal, honorable, brave... and most of all, drop-dead gorgeous

It's that last thing that worries him a little

Not because it makes him question your other merits; not at all

It makes him more conscious about others' merits (or rather, lack of)

He doesn't trust people to be respectful to you

He tries his best not to hover when you're in public, but he does get a touch anxious if you don't check in every now and again

Especially if you're the type to get uncomfortable when someone flirts with you

He tries to prevent flirting from happening in the first place, but sometimes it just can't be helped

The second he sees someone flirting with you, anxiety strikes

He knows how... inappropriate flirting can get, and just the thought makes him blush

He doesn't want you to be subject to that

So he'll hurry to your side, turning the situation away from romance

He won't be nasty or try to scare the person off, he'll just redirect the conversation

"Hey, how about that game last night? The, uh... sports... game..."

He's trying 😭

He doesn't want to disrespect this person (even though they're low-key disrespecting you)

When they're gone he'll double-check to make sure they didn't make you uncomfortable or anything

As long as you're good, he's good :) until someone else comes up

Nya

She also gets flirted with a lot, especially operating in a team of all boys

So she knows the struggle, and she's fully equipped to help you out

She'll teach you the tricks she's learned to scare off creeps, but of course she's also always more than happy to step in

You guys have a complete code language of phrases and gestures that mean things ranging from "creep o'clock, be on guard" to "I'm good, are you?" to "please save me"

To give an example: if you're both in a conversation and someone is starting to seem like they have bad intentions, you can say "I saw a snake a while ago," which means "potential creep right here. thoughts?"

Responses include: "so did I," ("yep, let's ditch") or "no, it was a rubber hose, remember?" ("let's stick around a little longer")

It's a very intricate language that only expands over time

You guys actually have a lot of fun making and using it

And it's obviously quite useful

But in terms of jealousy, since Nya knows what it's like to be harassed, she knows it's not a challenge to one's loyalty

She totally trusts you, and expects you to feel the same

But sometimes when she just really doesn't like someone, she'll put a protective arm around you and make it obvious that you're hers

When they're finally gone, you guys either giggle about it or watch them leave with scowls; either way you make sure to check in on each other first

In general, though, you guys learn to have fun expelling unwarranted advances; it's almost like a fun little game you play together :]

Thank you for this request! And thanks for reading, take care sweet duckies <33

(divider by saradika)

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theturtlelovers · 2 months

Text

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙴𝚡𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎

Pairing: Mikey/GN!Reader Rating: Everyone Contents: Mikey is the first to get a partner, Donnie's a bit weird, but we still love him, Splinter loves soap operas Warnings: None, really? Wordcount: 1,386

Notes: Guess who's back! Back again! ♪(┌・。・)┌ Finally, after one too many years!

Mikey's heart soared when he entered a relationship with his significant other. Overflowing with excitement and joy, he celebrated the transition from friends to partners, ending a period of mutual uncertainty. Even his older brothers and sensei, who had been quietly rooting for the two of you to get together for almost a year, let out sighs of relief. What he once feared was unrequited affection had blossomed into a loving relationship. As they embarked on the honeymoon phase, Mikey believed this blissful period would never end. He felt incredibly fortunate to have his best friend as his partner in crime.

Mikey had always been your friend, adhering to the principle of friendship first before exploring any romantic possibilities. Yet, things were different now—more intimate and personal. With mischievous chuckles (huehuehue), he could do things he couldn't before without raising eyebrows. Mikey could hug you just because, plant kisses on your head, and shower you with compliments, all while grinning from ear to ear as he watched you blush, trying to return the favor. It felt like, in those moments, he fell in love with you all over again simply because he could finally give you the affection you deserved.

At first, Mikey was too absorbed in your newfound relationship to notice, but his brothers were watching him. And weirdly so.

Whenever you came over for movie marathons, Donnie would emerge from his lab intermittently. Coincidentally, he always seemed to be peeking around the corner during your debates or when you and Mikey were theorizing about a new movie's plot. Initially, Mikey wanted to say something because it felt like Donnie was intruding on his time with you. However, he was more relieved that the usually work-obsessed Donnie was taking a break from his screens, even if it meant eavesdropping on your conversations. At least they weren't personal ones.

Raph, on the other hand, was thankfully more discreet. He didn't pop up out of nowhere like some sort of gopher to intrude on Mikey's private moments with you. Instead, Raph observed from a distance when you two were in more public settings. He tried to be subtle, stealing glances at how Mikey leaned in close to hear you at the dinner table, the way he smirked in a failed attempt to hide his giggles at an inside joke, or how he gently nudged you aside with a soft "pardon me, angel-cakes," holding your hip as he reached for something and then carefully moving you back. At times, a fleeting flash of envy would appear in Raph's eyes as he watched, but it would quickly vanish, replaced by an unreadable expression.

Leo was a different story altogether. He was certainly more direct than his other two brothers. He would openly ask Mikey questions, sometimes subtly weaving them into their conversations. Other times, he would just blurt them out, regardless of how out of pocket they might seem. It took Mikey quite a while to catch on to Leo's unusual questioning.

Eventually, Mikey sought out Splinter, thoroughly weirded out by his older brothers' antics—if he could even call them that. "Hey, Sensei?" The aging rat turned his gaze from watching his soap opera. "What’s the matter, my son?"

Mikey’s lips pressed into a thin line. "Have you by chance noticed the way the others have been acting?"

"Ah, you must be referring to the way they have been observing you." Splinter caressed his beard, which had recently been braided, courtesy of you spending time with him earlier that day. Mikey smiled fondly seeing it as he sat down on the couch next to him.

"So I haven’t been making it up then!"

"Indeed. It makes sense why they would want to watch you, though."

Huh? "What- why? But I’m not doing anything crazy that’s out of my usual."

Splinter’s dark eyes gazed at his youngest, who was so intuitive yet naive. "Perhaps you are not. However, you are the first amongst your brothers to be experiencing a romantic relationship."

That made Mikey pause. He understood the implication, yet at the same time, he couldn't quite grasp why it mattered. So he just went, "Huh, I guess that makes sense," and did a slow nod. Why did he go to his dad again? He should have known that Splinter's wise words often left him more confused than before.

Mikey eventually grasped the meaning behind his father's words during one of your weekend movie nights at your place. With no work in the morning, you both were engrossed in a marathon of the John Wick series. For once, Mikey's attention was more on the movie than on you, and it was as if a gentle tap on his brain brought him to a realization.

He was setting the example for his brothers. Although it took him a while to come to this conclusion, he was relieved that it didn't require any dramatic arguments or life-threatening situations. It was just John Wick fighting for the memory of his late wife that sparked the insight. Oh. OH!

The staring and the questions all made sense now. None of his older brothers had lovers of their own, and there wasn’t a reference for mutants in romantic relationships, so they were looking to him as some form of guidance. And Splinter, bless his soul, while a great father and the closest male role model a rat can be, had no personal experience in romance either, not unless you count his addiction to soap operas. It was nerve-wracking because that also meant he couldn’t turn to them for help. As the youngest turtle in his close-knit family, Mikey was used to having his older brothers handle the tough stuff for him. This arrangement never troubled him; it allowed him more freedom to pursue his interests. However, with a newfound understanding of the sacrifices his brothers made on his behalf, Mikey felt a mix of offense and gratitude. Initially, he questioned if their actions stemmed from a belief in his incompetence. Upon further reflection, though, he realized their motives were pure—they simply wanted to keep him safe and shield him from the stress that came from such burdens.

Previously, Mikey's focus was more lighthearted, free from the heavier burdens his brothers carried—Leo tasked with ensuring everyone's safety, Donnie charged with maintaining their tech and home in peak condition, and Raph driven to fortify their resilience against any challenge. Yet, Mikey found himself considering not just his own well-being but yours as well.

His brothers weren't the ones committed to you; he was. Mikey was your turtle, your other half. It was his responsibility to fight for you, care for you, and love you until it felt like his heart would bleed for you. Later that night, as he held you close to his plastron and basked in your scent, he made vows that only he could hear.

As time passed, Mikey became more open, allowing his brothers to see how he navigated his relationship or talking about you whenever you were brought up. Not that Mikey minded—he loved any opportunity to talk about you.

“Yeah, we’ve been going stargazing together.” “But you don’t care about stars, Mikey?”

“True, but I do now because (Y/n) likes them.”

He showed that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It's alright not to always have everything under control because it's the two of you against any problem. He showed it's fine to engage in activities like painting nails or sharing quirky moments together. Supporting them through everyday tasks like doing laundry, preparing dinner, or simply listening to them vent about the latest work gossip is valuable. And it's okay to let them know you love them and that he's just a call away if they ever need help.

His brothers seemed to appreciate that—and you, since you received equal effort from him—because one by one they each eventually found someone to call their own. And gradually, each one found someone special in their lives. Surprisingly, they all turned to him for advice, one after the other. It was an unfamiliar role for Mikey, being the giver rather than the receiver of guidance. He wondered, was this how Splinter and Leo felt most of the time?

Huh… being the leading example sure was satisfying.

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ktgoodmorning · 3 months

Text

Distractions

Mapi Leon x reader

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Word count: 1.5k

Summary: you want to study, mapi wants to yap

You weren’t sure how many days in a row you had been losing your mind trying to study for your exams but you knew you were really starting to go crazy. You were so stressed out trying to make sure you knew everything you possibly could that taking a break wasn’t an option. Both you and Mapi knew that you wouldn’t be able to take a step back and truly relax until your exams were over and you didn’t have to think about it anymore. However while you were losing your mind studying, Mapi was going equally crazy not getting any attention from you.

The two of you had been together for just over a year and were typically well adjusted to both of your crazy schedules. You both were used to sometimes having to spend some time alone while the other was busy, making the most of any shared free time you came upon. Your relationship was strong enough that it never bothered either of you. For whatever reason, this week had seemed to be an exception.

After about four days of continuous studying, Mapi had started whining at you, “But mi amor can’t you just take a little break?” You hadn’t even noticed her come into your room until she spoke up. When you looked up at her across the room, she had her lip stuck out and was looking at you with the biggest puppy-dog eyes she could manage. “Please. For me?”

You let out a heavy sigh, feeling terrible having to say no to her looking at you like this. “Maps you know I want to, but I really need to make sure these go well, and I just don’t have time.” Sympathetically you gazed over at her, knowing she wouldn’t like that answer, but that ultimately she would understand.

Immediately, Mapi flopped across your bed dramatically, with an equally dramatic groan. All you could do was chuckle at her and shake your head. “I still love you though! I swear you’d think I just told you I was leaving you,” you tried to lighten the mood a bit as you started to turn back to your work, missing the eyeroll that your girlfriend sent your way. You heard Mapi pouting as she stomped away, giving up for the time being.

A little while later you had moved your studying out to the couch so you could at least be in each other’s company while you continued with your work. You sat on one end of the couch with her feet draped across you, her watching TV, you buried deep in your computer. Your presence seemed to have helped temporarily cure your girlfriend’s boredom, however it didn’t last long when she realized you still weren’t able to chat with her. Normally, you’d both be talking through whatever was happening on your show, usually getting off topic and missing half of it anyways. The silence was killing her. Everyone knew she was a yapper, how could her own girlfriend expect her to be quiet when they were right next to each other.

“Mi amoooor,” she sing-songed at you, trying to get your attention away from your computer.

Without looking up from your screen, you hummed in response, still entirely focused on your work.

“Why don’t you love me?” she dramatically pouted at you, sticking her lip out, hoping for any sort of attention from you. You knew she was teasing but also that she was serious about wanting you to give her attention. Attention, that you currently couldn’t spare her.

“Really, Maps?” you gave her a quick unimpressed look before turning back to your screen. Surprisingly, she seemed to drop it, letting you get in some more work. It had probably been only about five minutes before she sat up and started poking the side of your face.

“Mi amor,” poke, “mi amor please,” poke, “mi amor we can do whatever you want,” poke. The woman was persistent, that was for sure. You knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon so you turned to her, eyebrows high, giving her a look that she knew meant it was time to stop. Upon seeing your face, she sank back into herself, stopping her constant prodding at you, but also looking a little more genuinely disappointed this time.

Instantly you could see this change of attitude in her face and felt immediately guilty. You let out a sigh and pulled her into a hug, mumbling into her shoulder, “I have one more day until my exams, then after that I’m all yours and I’ll make it up to you, I promise, okay?” You pulled away and studied her face, trying to read what she was thinking. She gave you a small smile and nod, disappointed but clearly understanding why you weren’t able to give her the attention she so desperately wanted. You gave her a reassuring peck on the lips and then the forehead before turning back to your computer, this time you gave her one of your hands to hold, which seemed to satisfy her long enough to allow you to get some more work done.

This time it had been about an hour before she got restless again. Completely out of the blue, she asked you a random question about something that was happening in the show she had on. You looked over at her in confusion, almost questioning if she was even talking to you since she knew you hadn’t been watching. When you made eye contact she just repeated herself. The question was completely meaningless, not relevant to anything, especially when you clearly weren’t watching. While you sat looking at her, trying to figure out what she was doing, she seemed to just answer her question herself, as if talking to nobody.

When you couldn’t figure it out, finally you just asked, “Love, what are you talking about? You know I’m not watching.”

You could see her trying to hide a smirk before she started explaining herself, “oh well see I just decided that if I started talking to you, you wouldn’t be able to focus on your stuff, so if I talk to you long enough, eventually you’ll just give in and finally spend time with me.” You rolled your eyes, not surprised at all by her newest distraction tactic, but slightly surprised about how up front she was being about it.

“It’s not gonna work, love, now I know your plan and I can just ignore you better,” you responded, rolling your eyes back at her for having such a Mapi idea. Even as you said this, you knew she would end up being right. Everyone knows that girl can talk and usually you were all about it and ready to join in with her. That’s part of what made you so perfect, you both loved to yap. That’s exactly why you had a feeling that her plan was going to end up working, no matter how hard you tried to power through it.

“Hmmm, we’ll see, mi amor, you know I could talk all day at you,” she smiled at you, excited about her new plan as she saw you turn back to your computer yet again. As soon as you did, Mapi was back to talking your ear off, you didn’t even know what about. She seemed to start with something connected to her TV show while you just tried your best to block her out. She went on and on. You couldn’t even figure out how she did it, going on that long only talking to herself. This probably went on for about five minutes before you started to really struggle. You were doing better than you thought you would at tuning her out, even though it was quite the struggle for you. While you had continued working, you now were mentally reasoning with yourself as to if you had the time to take a break and be done for the night. Suddenly you caught a few of her words, now somehow onto the latest gossip about Lucy and Ona, and decided you couldn’t take it anymore. You shut your computer, setting it down on the coffee table in front of you. As you sat back you pulled her into a quick kiss, finally shutting her up for good. When you pulled away, she was just smirking at you, knowing that she won.

Now desperate to shut her up about her plan working, you pulled yourself onto her lap, grabbing her face with both hands, and kissed her again, hard. Your hands laced through her hair and pulled her as close as you could while her hands settled at your waist. You could tell she was trying her best to take control of the kiss, but struggling slightly as she had been so caught off guard by it, not expecting you to do like this when she knew you were tired. She tried to pull you closer to her by your waist making you harshly tug on her hair. This made her let out a soft groan as you pulled away to look at her.

“Man if I knew that’s all it would take to get you to shut up I would’ve done that ages ago” you smirked at her, satisfied that you could take some form of control back after her plan had worked so easily on you.

However, her only response was a sharp grab at your ass, looking at you seriously as she hummed at you. “Hmmm you’re gonna wish you didn’t say that bebita.” Your studying was definitely done for the night as she easily lifted you up off her lap and carried you into your bedroom.

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