#animatics can be sketchy actually!

[ariapmdeol]

FUCK IT. POSTING A TWO YEAR OLD WIP. pafl is sou-core you cant change my mind.

might redo this if i ever get the motivation to finish it o7

#sou hiyori #shin tsukimi #your turn to die #yttd #kimi ga shine #yttd spoilers #THIS IS OLD #ITS SO OLD #BUT FUCK IT #SOU PAFL ANIMATION REAL.. . . #this was back before i realized that hey! #animatics can be sketchy actually! #so thats why i never finished it

[munch-mumbles]

imagining a super stylized pmv in your head be so awesome until you have to actually figure out the style in question

#definitely going to be EXTREMELY sketchy just to try and make it actually happen #bc im just not at a point where i can just straight into reg animatics LOL i gotta ease into it with some messy stuff first

[tubbytarchia]

A sketch and an attempted lineart for something I was thinking of for yuri week's cozy/outfit swap prompt, but I don't like how it's looking and was also feeling under the weather, but if it can serve as food to fellow gempearlers still then!! wahoo The idea is Pearl lending Gem her cloak for warmth as she sleeps while she herself is unable to (Anxiety? Moth brain? Your pick)

Aaand that's all for yuri week from me lol. I actually want to make a little animatic to cap the gempearl streak off but it'll take a day or two to finish, just a sketchy ol' thing of a few gempearl moments from HC10. Thank you all for the love and thank you to anyone who participated in and/or organized the yuri week, it was so fun!!!!! The world has been healed a little

#PS not all moths are active during the night but. most #I thought I'd do some more grand drawing for the final day. Maybe attempt to draw a kiss for the first time in my life lol but. n. no #I am too unwell no matter how nurturing the yuri is but hey. Another day!!! It's no biggie! I still drew more than I thought I would #tubby art

[tapakah0]

Hey! Can I ask how you do the shift between poses in animatic’s. (Like how you do with this one) Cause I see how it moves a lil bit but I slowed it down just to see how you did it but I can figure it out. (I may or may not have been using your animatics as a way to teach myself animating cause I like how you do it and I wanna get better then how I’m at it now)

Also YOUR STUFF IS SO GOOD AND YOU ARE SO FAST OH MY GOD?! THIS WAY IS SO SKETCHY YET SHOWS SO MUCH(in a really good way) AND HOW FAST AND FLUID THE ANIMATIONS ARE. AHH (explodes with joy)

Anyway hopefully that wasn’t weird and you don’t have to answer if you can’t. Have a good day!

H-hello, t-thank you/// I actually so much love questions and comments and just happy to get and read every one of them, just sometimes I forget to answer or have no power... (if that's something I can answer)/// Um, these things may not be right described by me, because it's something I was seeing over years in works of my beloved animatic/tion artists and wasn't really paying attention how they do it... it just "popped"... but maybe this one will help you a little...

#tips

[datschaos]

My first serious animation attempt in years. You can tell which fandom i'm currently obsessing over. it's very simple, but i'm happy because it actually exists to be messed with now.

I was inspired by this awesome little catchy and well drawn animatic ;

I just doodled a snippet of a scene from a story I wrote, with a new animation program i'm trying out; think i'll keep looking though-- i had a lovely lineart background that was supposed to make up for the super sketchy character doodles, but the program ate it D: rip

#Transformers #fanart #animation #sketch #doodle #optimus #prime #optimus prime #ratchet #OC human #fanfiction fanart #fanfiction art #digital art #digital animation #hand drawn animation #D.A.T. #DelicateArtisanTrash #DAT ART #Inspired #other artists #amazing art #LOOK AT THIS ANIMATIC THOUGH #IT'S SO GOOD LIKE WHAT EVEN #I CAN'T STOP LISTENING #Youtube

[zarvasace]

Vidow Animatic Thoughts (pt 1)

I shall detail thought process etc. let’s go. It’s long. Under cut. Hit tumblr max image upload so this is three parts.

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

Animatic can be found here

Program: procreate dreams (it’s clunky but it works). This whole video took me something like 8 hours? Over the course of uhhh three days? Pretty quick.

Introduction

This is my first ever animatic, so when I began, I wanted to keep it simple. I chose my favorite pencil brush and like three colors (I later added one for emphasis). I had a couple specific scenes in mind, and I knew how I wanted the progression to go, but I winged most of it, shot by shot. The song does a good job of building up with a sort of three-act structure, so.

I referenced the castle from Breath of the Wild, but I didn’t stress too much about the details. The plan was to make it sketchy and quick. The beginning is mostly just things moving across the screen. I think that works, though, setting up the angsty mood and giving me room to expand later on. The first shot with Vio’s face is sort of meant to be a fake-out: you’re looking at him, but no he’s looking at a mirror, which is obvious when it cracks. Not sure if that came across but the cracks are very cool anyway.

This is also the first time you see white, which sort of represents change/time through the whole thing.

And then we see the first of Shadow, and he has his own color: black. He's a real drawing here (rather than black smoke or something) mostly to establish that black=Shadow.

Not much to say about the next bit, with the door and stuff dropping, I just wanted to make it clear that we’re in Vio’s bedroom at the end of a day.

And then he’s being dramatic about getting in bed. Mostly just to show that he’s tired and Haunted. Also I think it does work in establishing that this isn’t really Shadow’s doing. Whether or not he’s actually there doesn’t matter, because it’s Vio who thinks he does, and we’re seeing this from Vio’s perspective. He’s the one who can’t let Shadow go, so whether Shadow is actually haunting him like a ghost doesn’t matter.

Verse 1

SO first off, Vio is sad and has bad dreams. Well, good dreams. They're good, but they make him sad. Shadow shows up in black again, definitely part of the dream (further blurring the line between reality and delusion). Vio's in white in his dream, which doesn't happen anywhere else. If white represents change, then this is Past Vio, or the Vio That Vio Wishes He Was But Isn't. It's definitely memories of some kind, though, because white Vio's hair is short, where normal Vio has a long braid throughout.

We only see Shadow as more than an influence (by that I mean a shadow, a flash, a feeling) a few times, and this is the first. His presence is stronger in dreams and weaker in the reality that Vio lives in.

But the sun comes up and Vio is actually alone. White is the sun/light a lot here, meaning that time is passing. Vio's still brooding. (I really like that little "in the heat of the day" shot, the glint is in Vio's lower eyes which may hint at tears, but it's definitely not obvious yet.) I don't particularly LOVE that drawing of Vio braiding his hair, but it gets the point across. He can't stop thinking about Shadow, even as he goes about his day.

Chorus 1

This part hammers that in: Vio CAN'T stop thinking about Shadow and wallowing in his memories, it's driving him to distraction and failure. He's not moving on. It's right there in the lyrics: "I can never let you go." There's a reference to evil root beer as he's eating, distracted from Red (hi Red!) right beside him. He feels guilty, and can't shoot arrows without imagining himself hurting Shadow more. He still half-expects Shadow to be there for his discoveries. He feels watched, like Shadow should be there all the time, even when he isn't doing anything. He's brooding. Broody boy.

Interlude

Broody boy continues. Important: when he's walking to his room/the library/wherever books are, he's going right to left. I studied a couple videos of walk cycles to get those feet right, and they still aren't right, but I'm still impressed with myself! Also, apparently I now have a mental library of Gothic Windows. I thought that was a fun shot. Vio sure sighs a lot.

Verse 2

This verse is ramping things up and preparing for the turn.

"Nothing ever changes, so I've learned." I feel like this is quite a Vio statement to make. I don't think it's perfectly applicable—in this post-canon-adjacent AU, clearly the four of them are still separate people, which would be quite a change, but for Vio? I think it means that he's maybe a little upset that nobody else is grieving to the point of distraction. People are going about their lives, but every single step Vio takes is shadowed. (ba dum tish.)

The flower was a spur-of-the-moment decision, since I wanted something in the spot where the book was and didn't really want to just draw vague smoke again. But it ended up being thematic and calling back to a later moment in the video. And maybe it hints that Shadow might be showing his approval that Vio is at least trying to do what he loves (that is, reading books.)

And Vio's back in his room, surrounded by books. He's tried so hard to forget. He doesn't look particularly interested in what he's reading, and we know why. I tried to frame that "to forget" shot in a way that looks like he might be drowning in his own ambition, like he has all these books and he's just desperate that one of them will distract him or be a replacement for Shadow's influence in his life, which is quickly growing to dangerous levels...

Did Vio actually see Shadow here? Well, once again, it doesn't matter, because Vio thinks he did, thinks so hard that he throws himself to the ground. It doesn't injure him, but it doesn't take a fortune-teller to imagine that he might do something truly reckless if this keeps going. And Vio sees that, I think, here. He realizes that what he sees might not be real. He's in the "dark night of the soul" here, and actually cries, which is a big deal for his character. It's just two tears—white, if you'll notice—but it represents his hitting rock-bottom.

"And you've never loved me once" is maybe not the right line for this, I considered changing it to "you only loved me once" but I eventually decided to keep the line as it is in the song so there's minimal dissonance for the viewer. The song's story isn't quite the same as the one I'm pulling out here, but this line is the turning point in the song's story and in mine.

(continued in part 2!)

#fs #vidow #vidow animatic

[verdesart]

Waiting for something to happen?

19yo | she/her or they/them | PL/ENG

You can call me Vii or Ratz

Commissions? Why not. I take USD/PLN and if you're on Flight Rising game currency. Check my page for more info!

My ask-box is open I love doing those 🔥 

Multifandom artist and OC enjoyer, you get what you get </3

All art tag -> #verdes_art

Fanart tag -> #verdes_fanart

Oryginal art work tag -> #verdes_artwork or verdes_ocs

Actually... I saw someone do those tags and I'm like HELL YEAH?? Let me make MORE. Nobody needs them but I LOVE useless organisation. Plus you get to see my fandoms grabs you into my pocket. Click READ MORE!

Madness Combat -> #verdes_madcom

Phighting! -> #verdes_phighting

Transformers -> #verdes_transformers

Rain World -> #verdes_rainworld

Omori -> #verdes_omori

Oryginal characters my beloved -> #verdes_ocs

Okay fine we ball I MIGHT post something from Sonic here -> #verdes_sonic smh............... When we're at it I also love love love Spiderman and Ghost rider but I don't think I'd draw anything from that. Oh also Dick Grayson my beloved. Also Danny Phanton. Also DID I MENTION NINJA TURTLES OR MONKIE KID YET- Ok I think that's like, most of my hyperfixations

I used to animate, nowdays I'm just making animatics </3 Really wanna get back into that though. I'm a self taught artist, I prefer to make sketchy art works over full renders. The messier the better

#verdes_art #verdes_fanart #verdes_artwork #verdes_madcom #verdes_phighting #verdes_transformers #verdes_rainworld #verdes_omori #verdes_ocs #verdes_sonic

[nochi-quinn]

legend of vox machina watch party episodes 4-6: he's just sleeping

EPISODE FOUR

I'm late bc I was watching anime and playing pokemon. y'know, like an adult.

I don't know how long the episode has had subtitles but I enjoy them

big gworl

"I DON'T LIKE IT" "I love it"

raven queen: the fuck you say to me

fran drescher raven queen

(this is hilarious to me specifically for reasons no one understands)

I was gonna say something about silhouettes

"if scanlan started wearing closed shirts - " "I would be so confused"

"TRINKET DOESN'T COUNT"

"I would say grog" "WHAT"

matt's gonna tell this story if it takes another eight years

"MONSTER ON THE TV" "don't assume - " "I SAW TENTACLES, I KNOW"

"tentacles can also be your friend"

ONLOOKER

this is hilarious now that beholders are under creative commons

"where are your knees? are your ankles your new knees?!"

"sound more ankle-breaky"

"don't you hate it when you're in the middle of a fight and you're just dissociating"

"why is he punching him in the helmet?!"

mala: that baby has more sense than vax

I love that sam and travis are always in the back going "YOU WILL APPRECIATE THE CREW"

I think I'm behind on account of being late, this is the price I pay for watching anime and playing pokemon

"I watched this with my kids and they were both super grossed out - so success"

everybody just works around will now

bill frito can do anything

POKEBEAR

I believe travis could reach that pitch

"I invented walking away"

I am forever going to be trying to figure out what nonsense choir soundtracks are singing

"reliving - HA"

"it was raven feathers"

"laura can't lose her character so I'll lose mine" liam.

"have a guest on the show? main character dies. right, robbie?"

oh I hate that one on the end

"onlooker(?)" mala: official spelling

they're just gonna make that noise for the rest of the night

"he's so cute - sorry - "

"that jump scare at the end - why" "that's why"

I can't believe travis willingham is targeting me personally

that's actually. I also had not considered that critical role is technically post-apocalyptic

EPISODE FIVE

"it's my child!" "this one lives, that can't be right"

"you can't be a baby, you're a grown-ass woman"

give her a raise

"we thank you for your tears"

"can't even pick up sticks right"

"I wish we had the courage to do an overhead" have the animators not suffered enough

"it's probably okay. don't worry about it."

I think I say this every time but I love when they just go silent bc they are also watching the episode

"that's NOT how you romance someone"

"keyleth will remember that"

aimee!

"thank you for using the body silhouette I sent you"

I FORGOT HE HAD BLACK POWDER IN HIS POCKETS

PANTSLURA

"marisha? self-doubt? no!"

critrolestats what level were they

flamesneks

I didn't know that until someone pointed it out on twitter

I'm crying AGAIN dammit marisha ray

the One Woman Wail

"you're a giant fire chicken lady man!"

"seems a little OP"

that pestle IS upside down, I'm pretty sure

"dad likes vax bc they have the same haircut"

robbie didn't know about the lesbians

this time delay is killing me

"so many youtube videos" "just fucked up your algorithm"

"is that a thermal detonator" after chetney's boat robbie only knows how to think in bombs

"I was singing about meeting a girl in line for the shitter"

"you wouldn't put the nursery in the volcano??"

animatic!

"ANIMORPHS!"

oh I love lil sketchy keyleth

"is that a cloaca?"

"DON'T LOOK IT UP"

LAVA SNEK

"maybe these are IMPOSTERS" stares in speaker assum

"it's victor"

"I'll call bryan and michael and let them know" I have only called them bryke for so long

"the voice of korra was in the Lesbians Aren't Dead episode"

the red gay and the blue gay

"tell me I'm wrong!" "I can't!"

"I know a lot about anime gays you guys"

speaking of anime gays, robbie daymond

(akechi. the joke is akechi.)

"hesitant"

none of us are over keyleth but liam o'brien is definitely not over keyleth

"kash pushing in on his girl - " "that's the worst part"

"pissjets" brb changing my twitter name

EPISODE SIX

I'll error your joining watch party

"I'm sure it's fine"

"classic comedy duo"

I still enjoy grog's expressions so much here

"my ten-year-old son loved that joke"

this is me explaining the plot to my roommate

"scanlan is the only one that gets to go full anime" scanlan just is anime

"fucking DORK" robbie understands percy

"she does get hypothermia tho"

"a hoe never gets cold" "that is the episode title"

liam's running "I peed a little bit" is finally coming full-circle

"that's how you guys look at me all the time" at least matt does for sure

FISH TACOS

grog is barely smart enough to speak at all, he can't manage telepathy

the fire plane taught her how to cuss

PORKY PIG

I love robbie's genuine reactions

the whole back row airdrumming

"he's playing the instruments" "no he is NOT"

"that's MY HUSBAND"

one unit of sphynx

"a shit spell?" that's scanlan's thing

"you're giving me notes NOW?"

kaiju fight KAIJU FIGHT

~~anime~~

"I don't like this dragon, he's a dickhead"

"I don't care about his backstory"

"he's fine, robbie" "he's gonna go live on a farm upstate? where he gets all the sphynx food he wants?"

"sphynxes live forever even if they look like they died"

that knee slide was v cool tho

honestly I had the same thought as mica

mica refuses to pronounce that name now (she's valid)

"not that long, right?" "you don't know"

marisha what is that face. are we getting an art book. I want an art book.

FRIENDSHIP POND

"you love inflicting pain" "I FUCKIN LOVE IT"

mala: Travis: i have killed and i will kill again

"it's got a lot of slap bass in it"

"he's a transformer"

you leave the shit behind in people's beds and move on

(I'm still mad at him for that)

craven edge just using grog as a meat puppet

"it all comes back to the last of us" correct

"I was such an innocent smol bean"

"I'm a purple g - I'M WEARING PURPLE"

someone draw art of alicia's hedgehog familiar

sevonth

yaaaaaay troy bakerrrrr (said in the most deflating-balloon voice possible)

troy baker is a very good actor who is up his own ass as much as it is possible for a human being to be and still draw breath

#crititag #lovmtag #watch party #critical role #the legend of vox machina #liveblog #reaction post #spoilers

[blueikeproductions]

I’ve been listening to the Heathers musical sound track again, and I’m reminded of a clear distinction I was wanting to make in the AU.

While it is primarily though the lens of JD and Dan, two lost friends who reconnect at a pivotal moment, it is also redemption for Kurt and Ram. The two show some remorse in the opening number, especially in fan animatics, so like with JD, I wanted to fiddle around with that more.

Their descriptions are somewhat reversed from the musical though, as Ram is actually more intelligent (albeit he struggles with big words) and conscious of what he’s doing during his bully phase, while the fun loving Kurt is more impulsive and lacks filters, usually blurting out the first thing on his mind. Ram has a younger sister named Kara, who is fully aware of his “forbidden love” with Kurt, and while she finds it weird, doesn’t seem to particularly care either. She and her brother have a little agreement that involves her silence so long as she’s given Crunch bars as compensation. Dan chipped in extra Crunch bars later on because of Kara discovering him and Kurt shirtless in Ram’s closet the next morning after the three boys had a …frisky night. Kurt is an only child, but like JD, has taken a shine to Liam, and fancies himself the cool uncle, looking after Liam when JD and Dan aren’t available. Kurt and Kara meanwhile don’t get along, mostly because Kara enjoys messing with him. Because Dan, JD, Veronica and Martha are able to draw out Kurt and Ram’s true selves over the course of the adventure, their original antagonistic role needed to be filled in by new characters Terrance Thrash and Toby Throttle.

They represent Kurt and Ram’s more dangerous tendencies from the movie and musical but amped up in the vein of a Steven King high school bully.

Thrash is entitled, angry and brutish, casually threatening other students with violence with the slightest offense to himself. It’s heavily suggested he probably would kill other students if he could get away with it, shown by his aggression towards Dan, JD, Veronica and Martha in particular. The only people he isn’t aggressive towards is his best friend Throttle and Red Heather, though the later he mostly views as an outlet for sex, and gets annoyed when she doesn’t comply.

Throttle is mostly silent, but shares Thrash’s intense aggression, and on the football field, channels it in procession strikes vs Thrash’s sheer brute force. Throttle comes a rich family like Ram and the Heathers, and while he doesn’t have any real reason to lash out at the world because of it, he does because he enjoys watching those beneath him squirm. Why he’s friends with Thrash, who comes from a struggling family, is a bit of a mystery.

Thrash is the middle child in his struggling family, which partially feeds into his aggression, while Throttle has a little brother, who is friends with Ram’s sister Kara, that he detests.

Neither have much, if any, redeeming qualities with Veronica even noting the two were becoming jerks as far back as kindergarten. Apparently in kindergarten, Thrash smacked Specs and Dennis upside the head with a 2x4 because they were taking too long with the toy blocks. Throttle meanwhile in first grade held down Tracey and tried to force feed her gravel from the playground for no other reason than he could. Veronica and Specs saved Tracey but it was this encounter that caused Tracey to, much later, become dependent on weed to control her anxiety.

The two sets of boys can be best described by the two songs used in different versions of the musical: Kurt and Ram represent the unapologetically weird and offbeat “Blue”, while Thrash and Throttle represent the more upfront and sketchy “You’re Welcome” number. Thrash and Throttle would absolutely refuse to beat box, while Kurt and Ram would though.

#kurt and ram #kurt and ram heathers #kurt kelly #ram sweeney #heathers the musical #heathers headcanons #heathers fanfic #heathers oc #heathers au #blueike productions #blueike

[somerunner]

Cradle Music Videos pt. 2

Mainly only the first one came to mind, but I brainstormed a couple others. These are Cradle AMV’s that I’d find it very easy to imagine, and if I ever had any artistic ambition I might storyboard them. I can’t draw, so an animatic/sketchy animation is the most optimistic outcome for any of these.

Defeat the Silent King (A Real Life by Greek Fire)

I was listening to this on a run earlier and was thinking of the Gildedguy animation set to the same song (link at bottom). First off, this is my favorite music video ever. Secondly, I think it could also fit very well set in Cradle.

That one line, “no mind, no memories; just your allegiance to the path” fits well in that one moment in Dreadgod, and several other moments where the focus of the video can be shifted to Lindon or Yerin, or other members of the cast. I was also thinking about parallels within Skysworn, but they’re not coming to mind now.

Vengeance and Regret (Don’t Wanna Let Myself Down by NEFFEX)

This would actually be an Elder Empire montage, rather than Cradle. I think it fits a lot of scenes where the Navigator crew faces their personal demons (or literal demons, aka Elders). As well as the losses they take along the way, and plenty of times where they fail but keep going on anyway.

Reform the Court (Free but Hollow by Hidinin)

First off, I think it’s criminal that Hidinin released two awesome pop songs and nothing else that I can find on the big platforms. These songs are amazing.

Anyway, this would center partly on Ozriel and Suriel, and to a lesser extent the dysfunctionality of the Abidan Court. Probably also Lindon and Yerin’s disillusionment with the Monarchs.

#cradle series #will wight #cradle runnerpost

[practically-an-x-man]

For the ask game: canvas, graffiti and photography! :D

ooh thank you!! i really appreciate it!

Canvas: Do you ever "prep" your fics with outlines or warmups before you start writing, or do you just dive right in?

I don't usually do outlines of the entire work since it's usually pretty clear in my head (though I have gotten a bit more active on that front, since I keep thinking of scenes for unwritten fics and I need to mark them down before I forget), but I do try to throw down a rough outline for the next chapter as soon as I finish one. It helps me keep things rolling.

Graffiti: Have you ever had to research something that felt illicit or illegal for a fic? What was it?

On the one hand, yes. I have characters who are thieves, pickpockets, and who have broken the law in other ways, and there's some logistical details I had to look up to make it at least pseudo-believable. And I've had to do some research on wounds and injuries (including things like the survivable maximum for certain things), which isn't illegal but is maybe a little sketchy unless you know I'm a writer. But on the other hand, I was a forensics major for a time, so there's a fair amount that I don't actually need to look up because it was explained by my professors

Photography: What's one moment from any of your fics that you feel is preserved in your memory?

Oh man, there's so many I could choose from, and for so many different reasons!

I think I'll go with a certain scene in Who Waits Forever Anyway?, around chapter 10 or so (I'm too lazy to actually go and check rn). The main character, Katherine, has started to realize the span of her abilities, and she's sitting in the Hall of Birds with this complete whirlwind of birds flying all around her, and golden light streaming around her body. At one point, she also summons a bird of her own, made of the same golden light, and it joins the others for a bit before flying straight into Katherine's back and disappearing in a burst of gold sparks, returning the magic to her. I think it sticks in my mind because I can visualize it so clearly, and if there's any one scene that would be absolutely brilliant as a painting, animatic, or film scene, it would be that one.

#answered asks #ask game #oc asks #my ocs #my writing

[weroisanimating]

I have finally reached the stage of my MA project where I get to start animating. Over 1 year of the PT course was preparing the story, with all the parts including storyboard, animatic (and plenty of versions of both) and drawing backgrounds. It hasn’t been easy with Uni being a side to all the things that go on in life, so I have developed quite a stage fright when it comes to animating itself!  The cat is a challenge but also fun to animate. I’m still trying to make it feel more natural with all the little quirky movements that cats have and fortunately my own cat provides amazing resources to use as reference! With a little bit of encouragement by playing with her favourite toy I can analyse how she jumps (its actually very quick!). She also has very curious nature so she often tries to have a peek at what is going on outside the window, which looks quite funny itself. Sometimes she is just a very looooong cat. 

In this particular example I still need to work on the first jump, especially the landing bit. I’m definitely missing few frames there which would make it more natural and fluid, as at the minute it looks very heavy and it looses it’s flow in that particular moment. Oh well, it is not perfect, but it is one of the first scenes I’m working on. 

At the minute my goal is to have rough animations on all of the scenes so then I can move onto the clean up stage. I have decided to work on roughs on all of the film first instead of working on completing one scene after another. That way I can ensure that whole film all together will feel more coherent instead of having complete scenes looking differently as my skillset is going to improve throughout making the film.  I would like to focus on having a good solid rough animations as a base as I am going for a bit rough and sketchy style for my characters, especially the cat. 

#sketches #Thoughts

[rottingfontanels]

28 june 2022

3

CONTENT WARNING: mentioned eating disorder (does not apply to myself), talking about issues with eating, talking about depression and not-so-pretty mental health stuff etc.

hi! today's been a pretty nice day. i woke up around noon again (i'm blaming summer break for my sleeping schedule) and felt way too sedentary just sitting at my computer, so i did another load of laundry (my hamper is now EMPTY!!!! i just have three small baskets of sorted loads to do individually!!!!) and then went on a walk to my favorite spot.

i think i've probably already mentioned it, but there's this marsh (used to be a manmade lake) near me. it has really nice trees, little footpaths to walk through the wooded areas, and then once you get to the park there's this lovely little place hidden away by trees. on one side there's a stone bench thing (just a big rectangular stone) and a tree with pink flowers, and on the other side in its own little area is this wonderful tree. i think it might actually be two trees! anyway it's perfect for climbing, and i love to sit in that tree and read, or just look out at the not-lake and listen to the birds.

when i'm alone out there i feel... not sad. i feel calm. the surroundings are so beautiful. today though, i was climbing around other spots on the tree and i heard someone say something from the ground. not a lot of people come by this spot. i looked down and saw some guy who looked to be in high school, who lightheartedly said he'd find a different tree to climb. i offered to leave but he said it's fine and left. it's interesting, i've never seen another person climb the tree before. granted i've only been coming to the tree for a few weeks and not visiting daily, and it would be really surprising if no one else climbed the tree so perfect for climbing. then a bunch of loud children showed up. they left, i watched the sun set over the trees, and went home.

when i got home i told my mom about this song and animation project that went with it. it's about a fandom we both used to be really into, but i think even as my interest has had it peaks and valleys, hers has dipped low and isn't coming back up. i want to show her things! i want to watch animatics or ocean explorations or nature documentaries with her. but it seems like our interests don't line up, or she's just too busy. it hurts, and i feel bad for hurting over it. it's not like i'm angry at her, it's not something she can control, but...

i can't really talk to anyone about this one fandom. i feel anxious posting openly about it because it has a bad reputation. the media itself isn't, like, sketchy or problematic or anything though. it's just something that got way overexposed and people started getting annoyed by it because younger and louder people in the fandom were being way too much... that brings up another point– i feel like there's no one else my age who likes this Thing. but i still love it so much even after two years. the last obsession that was as strong as this was my detroit: become human phase. i never even played the game, i kid you not, but i still absolutely loved it and immersed myself in the fandom for literal years. before that it was musicals.

my entries here tend to be longwinded and ramble-y because there's so much on my mind that i just don't talk about. when i talk to my close friends there aren't really opportunities to ramble. it's not like they're about to stop whatever we had been talking about and go "q, what are your latest fixations?" (i'm going to call myself q on here i guess.) i can't just interrupt a conversation or dump a bunch of information on someone about a topic that they don't care about. that's how i lose friends. that's how people start finding me annoying and selfish and conversation-ruining.

my therapist already knows what i'm about to type– or she would, if she knew i was typing this right now. she sees the pattern is what i'm saying. that pattern is double standards. i will listen to my friends ramble about their interests for as long as they want. i love hearing them talk, even when it's not something i'm interested in. admittedly sometimes i'm just not in the mood, or i'm actively disinterested or mildly annoyed or in a bad mood– those days are bad and i always feel guilty for them. because i know how it feels to be brushed off. i know how it feels to have something that makes your heart want to explode and makes your hands flap and makes your brain buzz because you're so happy and excited and all these ideas want to come bursting forth, only for the person who you wish would listen just... stops. sometimes you can just see it in their face.

i don't feel heard a lot of the time. i don't even consider myself a quiet kid– guy? i dunno it feels weird calling myself kid even though i don't feel like an adult ever– but i'm pretty sure that in my parents' eyes i'm quiet. whenever i do get to ramble (to my mother and my therapist only, because they are morally and financially obligated to listen respectively /hj) my throat will typically be hurting by the end because i never talk that much in one go. sometimes i don't even feel heard by my therapist or my mother. sometimes i feel really, really alone. sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i just stopped talking, how much would genuinely change. i know a lot would change, logically speaking, but... i dunno.

there's a strawberry banana smoothie to my right. it actually said '100% fruit' on the bottle so i checked the ingredients and it said there's strawberry puree, banana puree, apple juice, pear juice, lemon juice, and natural flavors. that's great, but it got me wondering. what are natural flavors? what exactly are they? what are the chemical compounds? where do they come from? what percentage of actual juice is that pear, apple, and lemon juice? are all of these pure?

actually, thinking about the smoothie makes me a bit happy. it's sort of melancholy though. i don't know why, but in the past year or so i've been struggling with eating. i don't think i have an eating disorder and neither does my therapist, but there are days when i sink so deep into depression that i just can't be bothered to eat. there are days when i don't think it's worth it, or that i don't deserve it (but those 'deserve' days were a long time ago and haven't happened in a while). there are days when i have to eat certain things because of rules my brain sets for no reason. there are days when i stress out about health and nutrition and forego eating altogether so i don't eat something unhealthy. ironic, i know. there are days when i try to eat, but everything tastes bad and the texture is bad and even though i can feel my stomach is empty, i swear i don't feel hungry.

these days have been a bit more few and far between lately. i still don't eat a lot– usually on an average day i'll eat one big meal, either at noon or at like midnight. my meals also aren't balanced. here i go stressing about nutrition again... anyway, on good days i'll have two meals and on really good days i'll have three. on bad days... well i don't usually go a whole day without eating. a bad day would be when i eat one meal and then feel crap about it. yeah.

anyway! the whole point of this, the smoothie making me happy– i actually opened up to my mom a few months ago about my issues with eating. i sort of did it in a kind of subtle way because my dad was going to the store and i asked him to pick up smoothie of some kind. he shrugged and left. i then clarified to my mom about my eating stuff, and that smoothies can make it a little better. offer a bit of nutrition without a) worrying about healthiness, b) worrying about texture or taste (i just chug), and c) worry about actually making or putting together something to eat. smoothies can help me when i haven't eaten all day and my hands and legs are too shaky.

so yeah, for the past couple months my mom has been picking up big bottles of smoothies when she goes grocery shopping. it makes me happy, really makes me feel seen and cared for. not like i don't feel cared for otherwise, it's just that the smoothie thing is special because it's a struggle of mine that i was scared to open up about, and she gets them without me even asking. my mom is absolutely wonderful, and i love her so much.

it's past 1:30am... i should drink my smoothie and go to bed. nothing more to it. goodnight<3

[mockingmolly]

No finishing animatic projects we die like men

#Sivsi speaks #Call out post for me for not finishing any of my fucking animatics sdhgj #I just wanna start new ones #I actually really envy ppl who can just post sketchy animatics #I feel like mine are too messy to post as sketches but I can’t be loose enough in my 2nd sketches/line stage #something I need to improve on

[appy-polly-loggies]

Opening commissions

Prices under the cut 

(feel free to skip my little rant)

So apparently our dog has cancer now. And she could get a surgery that would save her but my parents refuse to pay for it because iT’s JuST An AniMAL. So I’m going to do it myself. But as a student I can’t afford it and I’m afraid that even with the summer job I already have I won’t be able to make enough in time. And I don’t want to just ask people to give me money.

So PLEASE, I understand that not everyone can/wants to pay me for something, so please share this, that way maybe someone who will be interested in commissioning me will see this.

Here are some examples of how I draw

More details and prices under the cut

Digital drawing

I’m most comfortable with this sketchy kind of style, but I can do clean or lineless too. Also if you’d like me to draw it in a certain existing style I can do that too, the extra 5 bucks is there because I have to learn the style first. Oh I can also do character design.

Comics

Plus a few extra bucks if you want me to be the one to make the story too. If you only want me to put your already existing story into comic panels, you only pay what’s above.

Traditional drawing

Mostly with linework but I can do lineless here too. Also I’m from central Europe, so if you’d like me to send you the actual piece of paper the shipping might be a little pricey. If you’re okay with not receiving it like that I can send you high quality scans and/or photos (much better quality than these don’t worry).

Animation

Right now I can only do 2D, both hand drawn and tweened. I can also do these moving pictures (also both lineless and lined), those can also have some fancy effects like particles and such. The pricing is a little tricky on this one, depending on how long and complex it would be, but I’d imagine the price would start at about 35$ for a basic loop without coloring (not nearly as long as the example above).

Photo and video editing

I don’t have any examples to put in here :( but i can do the basic video editing, (cutting stuff to make you look like a pro youtuber, putting a picture/another video/a gif over your video/photo, blurring/pixelating something out, adding sounds/music, keying and all that jazz) plus I can also do some more fancy effects in adobe ae. Also I have some basic photoshop skills, I’m no professional but I can do the basics like erasing pimples or such. Or making/editing gifs. Idk how much to charge for this :( I guess it depends on what exactly it’d be? We can talk about it

 Also I’d just like you to know that I am in fact kinda desperate right now so I will also draw things I am not comfortable drawing, NSFW and whatever weird fetish you might have included, as long as you pay for it. Also don’t worry, I won’t judge you. I just want to save my dog.

If you’re interested dm me here or if you don’t want me to know your tumblr you can also dm me on instagram (@quitthisshitt)

The money will most likely go through paypal and I’ll start working on the commission as soon as I get them (or if it’s one of those more expensive ones and you want to make sure I won’t ghost you after receiving the money, you can send me half of the price first, I’ll send you the sketch/animatic so you can rest assured, then you send the rest and I finish it.

#art commission sheet #art commissions open #art commission prices #art commisions #digital art #digital drawing #traditional art #traditional drawing #animation #animation commissions #animation commissions open #commissions #commissions info

[pocket-gems]

Animatics you say 👀

Only 1 at the moment! About how SJ and Swamp got to meet each other. It's taking a while as you can imagine. It doesn't help that I want it to be as long as a SU episode but just. Bland. With no sound, no real animation and just, well. Sketchy.

It's a thing that never will be actually done so, yeah. That. Animatic.

#ask #anon #just me talking nothing important