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reiderwriter · 11 hours

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Satisfaction Feels Like a Distant Memory

Chapter Three of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: Your mounting attraction to Spencer Reid pushes you to the edge, turning begrudging friendship to deep hatred when he finally shows up on your doorstep. He's the only thing that can out you out of your misery even as you sink further into it.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, hate sex, rough sex, argument as foreplay, oral (f recieving) and face fucking, fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, forced orgasms, "forced" submission, creampie, p in v penetrative sex, etc.

A/N: I've had about as much sleep as the reader in this fic has for the last week, but HERE IT IS! Chapter Three 🥰 You may need a bottle of water on standby, or at least a hand fan, because this one gets a bit heated....

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You hesitated in front of your office door, which you supposed was going to become a bad habit of yours now. You tried lying to yourself, that nothing was different now, that you weren't attracted to him in a completely stupid way, but you still stood frozen in front of your own office door.

Frozen and horny.

Shit.

You mentally went through a list of the worst things that could happen if you went in.

1. He was there.

2. He wasn't there.

3. He was there, and he touched you again, and you moaned.

4. He was there, and he didn't touch you again, but you still moaned.

5. He was there, and you threw yourself at him immediately because why wouldn't you when you'd seen what you could be working with the night before? Fuck moaning once, moaning multiple times as he pushed you against the bookshelf would-

“Are you gonna go in, or are you just going to fondle the door handle?” He asked from behind you. From too close behind you.

You turned, keeping the doorknob in your grin, and immediately flattened yourself against the door as he took a step closer.

So close. He was so fucking close and it was suddenly all you could think of.

“W-What?”

“You know, the CDC warns that door handles should be washed every 20 to 40 hours To prevent bacteria like Escherchia coli and Staphylococcus aureus from-” You ignored his words, drowning everything else out as you tried to dampen the fire burning under your skin.

“Cock?” You said, all attempts obviously not working.

“Staphylococcus, yes. It can cause Adenovirus, Rhinovirus, not to mention-”

“Okay! Okay, Spencer. Taking my hand off the handle now.”

Finally, you twisted it and walked backwards into your room, walking backwards a few steps before your foot caught on a stray pile of books.

“What the-” you cried, waiting for the impact of your landing as you swung out your arms frantically for purchase, screwing your eyes shut as you found none.

Instead, you found an arm snaked around your waist, another wrapping your hip tight as Spencer Reid cradled your body to his own.

“Thanks,” you breathed out, not even hearing the words yourself for how much air was in them. How was it possible to expel air and hold your breath at the same time? Because that was how it felt being in his arms: at once a sigh and a stopping of all bodily functions barring want.

“I thought this was your office, Y/N. Surely you should know the layout by now.”

Moment over. You pushed at his chest to stand upright, and he stepped backwards, removing his hands from your person.

“Very funny. We both know these are your books. Setting traps for me now, Spencer?”

You moved around the piles of books again as he flicked the light switch, moving the opposite way around your desks, before meeting you again next to yours.

“You're usually more observant than this. Is there something wrong today?”

“What, like Adenovirus or Rhinovirus?”

“No, like something…” he searched for the right words, pace slowing as he tried not to scare you away by talking with you like this.

“Like something on your mind.”

You snorted, leaning down to switch on your computer, and also to avoid his eye contact. Unfortunately, academic curiosity had gotten to you in the last few weeks, and you'd read some of his psychological papers. You knew exactly what it was the BAU was apparently so good at, and you didn't want him to know that you'd imagined him balls deep in you hours before.

“Not friends, Spencer. If there's something I need to talk about, I'll talk to a friend,” you said, standing straight again and turning to him again. You still avoided eye contact, but it didn't matter. His eyes weren't on your face but angled further down, like he'd been checking out your ass as you bent over or something.

No. No, you weren't going down that train of thought.

“Or even better, my therapist.” You were planning on the words being a bit more playful, but your voice came out deeper than you expected it, more gravely somehow.

Your bedroom voice, you were using your stupid fucking bedroom voice on Spencer Reid.

You cut yourself off again before you said anything else. Before he touched you or didn't touch you, and you got to test your earlier theory about which would be the more demeaning reaction.

“I have class in ten. Clean up before I get back,” you ordered, and you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when he replied.

“I don't take direction well, Y/N.”

No, you didn't think he would. Neither did you though.

For a week, you tiptoed around the man, your words sharp, but your body weak to him.

By day, you were hurling insults back and forth, messing up his papers and screwing with him via bookshelf again.

“YOUR…FLY…IS….OPEN.”

“VERY….MATURE.”

“MADE…YOU…LOOK…THOUGH.”

“BUSY….LOOKING…AT…OTHER….THINGS.”

“LIKE…THE…UNDERGRADS…THROWING…THEMSELVES…AT…YOU…?”

“LIKE…THE…PROFESSOR…I'M APPARENTLY…DATING”

“Very fucking funny, Spencer,” you sighed at the last message, throwing the books off the shelf and pilling them up on the floor.

“Don't even for a second entertain the idea of making that gossip a reality.”

He grinned at you from behind his desk.

“Okay.”

“Don't even - don't even think about it,” you said, stepping over his desk and poking at his chest as his smile deepened.

“Heard.”

“I'm serious, Spencer, don't-”

“You've thought about it.” You froze in shock at his words, as if your blood wasn't sure whether to run cold or burn hot and fast.

“What?” You spat the words at him, unable to stop them coming out any other way.

“You've thought about entertaining the gossip. You've thought about it a lot.”

You needed to deny him, but he was right. By day, you tried to torment him, but by night, he did torment you. A week of wet dreams, of imagining him taking you over every inch of your office, of sleepless rest and failed orgams, and you could not escape.

“No,” you said with a whisper, shaking your head and trying again even as your voice cracked from the lie and your body's cry for pleasure, for this man.

“No, I haven’t- I don't-” You took a deep breath, but you knew it was no good, as his hand grabbed yours and flattened it against his chest.

“Your pupils are dilated, your pulse is heightened, and your legs are practically clamped shut. Your mouth is dry, and I'm not sure if you've noticed yet, Y/N, but you're shaking.”

“All signs of anger, Spencer, as you're well aware.”

He let go of your wrist and sat back in his seat, just out of reach of you again.

“Shame,” he whispered under his breath, nearly low enough that you didn't catch it, as he flipped open his book and continued whatever the fuck it was he even did in this office.

You ignored it, anger really flooding you now, warring the heat of arousal that was firmly settled in your body for dominance.

The anger won out.

You grabbed books from your desk, files, and papers from the side table by the couch and your laptop from your desk and left the room quickly.

You slammed the door, and you didn't look back, knowing that if you did, you'd see his winning smirk staring right back at you.

You marched yourself right to the staff administration office and put in for a week of leave. Spencer had one more week of work at the university, and then he would go back to being a regular FBI agent.

Your paths wouldn't cross because you wouldn't let them cross, not when it meant for certain that you would give in.

You spent the week working to distract yourself from work. You finished books for your next semester courses, highlighting the better articles and essays to use, going through each bibliography to find better sources if they weren't good enough. You wrote more of a research paper you didn't have time to think about with so much going on. You corresponded with students, with TAs, with the other professors who wanted to know where you were.

Okay, that was a lie. You aired the professors, but you did look out for any inboxes from him. Surprisingly, there were none.

You spent a week throwing yourself head first into your work, and still, each night, you felt his phantom touch on you. No matter how exhausted, your brain still co jured images of his hands grasping your wrists, pushing them above your head and forcing his cock into you, his lips biting against your skin, the fire of his kisses leaving scars where they trailed down.

You were running on three hours of sleep per night, sure, but at least you were as far as you could possibly get from the man ruining your life.

You poured yourself a glass of wine the next Sunday, knowing that when you went back to work the next day, he'd be gone.

You wrapped yourself in blankets and put everything else off for the day, ordering food and eating it and not moving as you worked your way through boxes of pizza.

It was when you finished your first glass and went to pour yourself another that there was a furious pounding at your door.

“Y/N, I know you're in there, open the door.” His hand sounded again, and you nearly dropped the glass at the sound of Apencer Reid's voice.

Your body acted alone, immediately following his directions as you damn near tripped over your own feet to open the door for him.

Throughout all of your arguments, all of the quips you'd thrown at him, every stupid little thing you'd done to get under his skin, you had not once seen Spencer Reid looking this angry.

His brow was furrowed uncomfortably, as if it were frozen in place. Gone was his perpetual smirk.

“Spencer, what the fuck a-”

“Thoughtless. Careless. Do you even know what you've done?” He snapped at you, stepping into your apartment and closing the door behind himself as he immediately walked into your space and began touching things.

“Stop! Fucking stop it, Spencer!” You said grabbing his arm and pulling him around to face you. He brushed you off quickly and worked his way through papers you'd left on your coffee table.

“No. You stormed out over a week ago, you blocked my number, you did not answer any of my emails-”

“I didn't get any emails,” you spit back, pushing yourself between him and your things now, bodies so close they were touching.

“Then you blocked my email, too. You don't even know what I'm looking for or the damage you could have done, do you?” His hands were on you then, not threateningly, as you'd expect, his anger still burning through him if his shaking voice had anything to say for it.

His hands stroked up your sides and back down again, smoothing away your need to think.

“My files. My team sent me a file. It was on the coffee table, and you took it with you when you left. The case is ongoing, and I'm flying out tomorrow, and without some of the classified information in that file, we will be at a disadvantage. Our odds of catching our unsub fall from 83% to 47% without all of the pertinent information.”

Your breath hitched as he leaned in closer.

“So yes, I'm going to go through your things, and if you're a good girl, you'll root through with me and help me find it.”

He stepped away then, and you held your tongue. As much as you hated him, he was right. You knew what he did, you knew who he was and to trust him not to lie to you about his chances without this information.

“The files on the coffee table are research notes, everything I took from the office is in that case over there,” you said pointing at a bag still where you'd dropped it by the door a week earlier.

He walked to it and rooted through it quickly before finding the file he obviously needed and letting some of the tension out of his shoulders.

“You're probably glad to see the back of me, right?” He said, laughing bitterly as he turned back around to you.

“Obviously not as happy as you are,” you spat back, stepping back over to him.

“If you ever speak to me that way again,” you started, spitting at him in the most threatening voice you could muster. “It won't be a fucking unsub that ruins your life.”

“And how are you going to manage that, Y/N?” He said, stepping closer to you until he had you backed up against the wall, trapped in by his bigger frame, using it to his advantage to intimidate.

“How will you manage to ruin my life,” he said, his voice softer as he finished his sentence, but not by much. “When you shake with just every time I get close?”

“This is not lust,” you growled the words out, but try as you damn might, you were shaking, vibrating even.

“Then what is it?”

“Hatred, dislike, loathing, detestation, abhorrence, fuck Spencer, you can pick up a thesaurus yourself and find out.”

“Yeah. Okay. I'll believe your lies for a second.” He walked away, he was walking away but the fire was ringing in your ears and you needed him to stay fucking put so he could take it all.

“You're a jackass.”

“Original.”

“You slammed into my life, expecting me to bend to your will and be at the mercy of your needs, your wants. Your office space, your fucking case files, your job-”

“None of that was my choice.”

“And it wasn't mine either, but at least I fucking left you alone. I spent the week in this apartment and left you the fuck alone, and you couldn't even allow me the same.”

His focus was back on you again, but you refused to be backed against a wall this time.

“What did you say?”

“You will not let me know peace. I have lost my security, my patience, my fucking sanity with each word you have said, my peace of mind, my sleep, my fucking sanity, Spencer.” Your chest was heaving, touching his with each exhale as he too held his place in front of you. He was so close, you'd practically spat the words directly into his mouth.

“How is that my fault?” He whispered, voice still dripping with disdain even as his hands again wrapped themselves in your hair, and he tugged your head back, baring your neck to him as he leaned down into you.

“How do you know that you're not doing the same to me?”

You refused to answer, though, meeting his eyes for one last second before you grabbed his hair in your hands and yanked him down to your mouth.

It wasn't so much a kiss as a battle for dominance, each trying to torture a surrender from the other with clashing tongues and teeth.

You made the first move, but he was obviously expecting it, and he didn't even pause before launching his own attack, finally pushing past your strong defence to walk you back to the sofa you'd abandoned earlier.

His tongue still lashed against yours as you retreated, refusing to give up your upper hand even as you moaned into his touch. The couch hit the back of your knees, buckling, and you silently cursed your lack of sleep for leaving you so unstable right now.

No, that wasn't true. It was him. He had left you so unstable, moving between happy and playful to angry and wrathful in the space of a week without you, and you'd been denying yourself the ability to even entertain any of this happening. Now that it was, your body was unprepared, totally at his mercy, as he pushed you to your back and pushed up your skirt.

“You're already so fucking wet,” he groaned slipping two fingers inside you as you moaned around him, no longer capable of thought. This was the moment, this was when he was going to make you submit to him finally.

Instead, he dropped to his knees and you gasped as his to guess found your sweet cunt and he began sucking to your clit.

You were on fire, skin scorched from the inside out, spreading in waves from your pussy to the furthest regions of your body.

With one hand, he spread your thighs further apart and pushed his entire face further into your cunt, tongue pushing inside right by his fingers, nose pushed right up against your clit as he didn't relent. Every movement was another curse falling from your mouth.

“Shit, Spencer, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whimpered, hips rocking back and forth as you tried to fuck his face, begging for more.

To your surprise, he didn't keep your hips still but let you keep riding his face, riding his fingers as you chased your first orgasm.

It came quickly, overwhelming you with the impact, jolting through your body like a lightning bolt as he let your hips shake and crash across his tongue.

When he finally pulled his face away, it was glistening, and he wasted no time shoving his tongue back in your mouth. His message was clear - he may have let you take whatever pleasure you'd wanted with him, but he was still the one in control.

You trailed kisses along his cheeks, neck, shoulders as he divested himself of clothing, shirt, belt, pants, ripping at yours to free your body as well, until the two of you were only left with underwear and you'd picked up every last drop of your cum left on his skin.

“On your back, now,” he said, and you complied. You spread your legs, and rubbed at your still wet cunt, jolting as he finally lined himself up with your cunt.

But he didn't push in yet. Instead he wrapped two arms under your knees and pulled you closer, so his cock rested over the top of your stomach, and leaned down, his face hovering inches over your own, holding himself up with a forearm rested just above your head.

“You see that?” He said, glancing down. “That is how much I am going to fill you. That is how deep I am going to ease into you. That is how far I am going to go to claim you. You can take it like a good girl, right?”

“Just shut up and put your cock inside me, Spencer.”

“You're so fucking pushy for a submissive little slut,” he said, smiling finally.

“I am not a-” you started to protest, but he slid inside of your hot cunt and you lost the ability to focus.

“Not a what, Y/N? Speak up,” thrusting shallowly as your cunt grabbed him and held tight.

“I'm not a- SPENCER!” You screamed his name as he pulled out quickly, thrusting into you again with a speed and strength that had you wrapping your arms and legs around him tightly, fighting for him to stay right there deep inside.

“Not a sub? Y/N, you're whimpering and drooling right now. You're three seconds away from begging for my cock, why the fuck can you not be honest with yourself?”

“Fuck…you,” you said between moans as he rutted into you like a beast. He wasn't man anymore, bit monster, and he was claiming you inch by disgustingly perfect inch.

“Let go. Let me take care of you, let me control you. Come on, baby, you know how good it would feel,” he said, before ducking his head and wrapping his tongue around a nipple.

You screamed his name again, but you still tried to resist.

“Come on, Y/N. Show me. Cum on my cock.”

For a brief moment, you'd thought you'd resisted the demand. But then your brain faded, and your nails cut into his back like daggers as your body followed his commands and you came on his cock for a second time that night.

“Perfect. One more, you can do one more,” he said, kissing your lips and lifting himself back up so he was sitting on his knees as he again picked up the pace.

You mumbled his name over and over again as he fucked out all of the frustration in your body. Every thing either of you had said or done melted away in the glow of pleasure, your body buzzing from the feeling of him taking ownership of you.

“One more, Y/N. One more, you need to cum one more time.”

“I can't, I can't I can't I can't, Spencer I can't I really can't,” you said, voice growing pathetically whiny as the tears sprang to your eyes and you choked back a sob.

“Yes you can, one more. Together, we can do it together,” he said, groaning as you clenched around him.”

He claimed your mouth again, his hand wrapping around your throat as he cut off your air supply for a second, then two, then three, as your ears buzzed and you finally slipped over the edge again.

But this time, as promised, you weren't the only one caught in the pain of pleasure. Spencer collapsed on top of you as his dick spurted inside you, holding you close as he unloaded everything he had into you.

He sat there, warming his cock as he lazily kissed open mouth kisses into every inch of your shoulders, collar bone and chest. Everywhere he could reach without pulling out of you and leaving you there.

After weeks of no sleep because of him, it was his soft lips that finally enticed you into the hands of the sandman, his weight a comfort as you closed your eyes.

When you woke in your bed, clean and clothed, he was gone, and so was every sign that he'd ever been there in the first place.

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#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid smut #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x self insert #dom spencer reid #sub reader #x reader

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calumfmu · 1 day

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Could…uh…we ever get a part two of Fgirlxsteve?

My love, my sweet, sweet love. Here it is. <3 Steve x Fuckgirl!Reader (part one here) 18+ mdni; smut, unprotected sex, cream pie, sweet!Steve, his idea of dirty talk is sweet nothings, fingers, eating out (female receiving), aggressive men (not Steve), 4.5k+ words

Avoiding the Family Video had been easy for you, it was just another place you had marked on your bed post. With all the pick in Hawkins, it was just another spot you had learned to add to your 'avoid-at-all-costs' list, along with the bowling alley, library down on 17th, and even the post office.

You occupied yourself with the other picking of men in the town, going after whatever you could get your hands on. They weren't as good as Steve, but you couldn't think about him. Whatever had happened between the two of you shouldn't have even been a topic of conversation, it should've been the last thing on your mind.

Yet that's how you found yourself arguing in the middle of the street, barefoot, shoes in hand with the new conquest of the week.

He was clingy, desperate to get you alone at any second he could, getting snappy when it came to other men even looking at you. It was toxic to say the least, but nothing that wasn't new to you. Toxic was your love language, but when it came to him, it was something else.

"This isn't how it works!" You yelled at him, your bag slipping off of your shoulder. The thing leather strap of it caught at the bend of your wrist, swinging in the air as you became more heated.

Taking a few steps away from him, you attempted to lean down to slide your shoes on, hopping a little in your movements.

"Babe, come on, just get in the car," the annoying man pleaded, hands waving in the air as he followed you. The two of you were walking down the middle of this road, residential area that was a little too quiet for the events that were taking place.

"Don't call me that!"

You didn't even turn to look at him, quickening your footsteps as you looked both ways to find peace away.

"Babe!" Another call of the word that made your stomach flip, eyes roll in annoyance.

The streets looked unfamiliar to you, parts of Hawkins you had yet to make your way around. Green lawns, green trees with leaves that were just starting to fall at the end of summer, abandoned children toys in the front of houses, a maroon beemer that looked oh, so familiar. The sight of it had your movements faltering, feet stumbling on the pavement.

The man that you were avoiding had time to catch up with the stumble in your gait, his hands coming up to grab at your upper arm.

"Come on," he said your name smoothly, milky white teeth shining behind the words in a smile. "Just get in the car, and we'll work it out."

All you saw was red, his handsome features turning up to make himself look foolish. You tried shaking your arm out of his grip, but it was no use, his fingers digging into your skin. Baring your teeth at him, you hissed at him, wanting to lean into a more primitive side that was clawing to get out.

"Let. Go," the anger in your words soured the taste of your mouth. He cocked his head to the side, eyeing you up and down. "No-"

The call of your name had you looking at a house a bit of the ways down, Steve standing in the yard, looking at the scene in front of you. He questioned you again, the sound of his voice calling out and down the street.

"Steve?" You repeated back, not believing that of all places you would find yourself right in front of his house. The eye roll you tried so hard to fight was beginning to come out, a situation for disaster bubbling up.

This situation was just what you needed.

"Are you okay?" His voice drew nearer as he took a few steps towards the two of you. Your failed date still had his fingers glued to your arm, your skin turning a few shades lighter from where they dug in. "What's going on?"

"Who are you?" You attempted taking a step back away from him, but didn't make it far, his grip pulling you right back into his side.

"I'm Steve."

"He's Steve."

The two of your voices blended together as Steve arrived in front of you. His eyes dropped to the grip on your person, brow furrowing slightly as he noticed the discomfort in your face. He gave you a slight nod of his head, checking in with you to see if he was reading this situation in the way that it truly was.

You wanted to be stubborn, wanted to not see him after the last moments that you shared together. It was awkward enough that the man had called your house a few times after you left him high and dry, you didn't want him to see the down side of the lifestyle you chose. With a slight nod back to him, he understood the message clearly.

"Hey, buddy, why don't you go back in your house with mommy and daddy, and leave the two of us alone?" The man by your side huffed out his chest a little, trying to intimidate Steve into fleeing the scene.

It made the two of you give him a side eye, lips turned up in disgust at him.

"I think I'm good," Steve nodded, hands stuffed into his pockets. Taking a step closer towards your other side, you could see the gears turning in his head as he scuffed his shoes along the pavement.

"So... what are you? Her knight in shining armor?" His hand finally left your arm, your fingers coming up to rub the bruise that was already starting to form. He took a step towards Steve, eyes squinting up at him from the few inches short he was.

"Yeah, something like that," Steve bit back a laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, raising his eyebrows.

Your date took a long look at him, gritting his teeth before glancing at you. As if he thought about it, he turned on his heel away from the two of you, waving an absent hand in your direction.

"You're not even that hot anyways," he yelled at you before angrily marching to his car. The door closed with a slam, tires screeching on the pavement before he swerved off in your direction, narrowly missing the two of you before Steve grabbed your shoulder, urging you out of the way.

The air was filled with the stench of burnt rubber and gasoline as the sound of his engine grew quiet as he sped off.

"Ouch," you whispered, grimacing at the burning of your arm and the comment he left you with. It shouldn't hurt as much coming from the biggest asshole of Hawkins, but the ache was still there.

"Are you okay?"

Steve's hand was still on your shoulder, rubbing small circles on the skin. The sleeve of your top was wrinkling under his touch, the thin material scratching at your skin. It was all too domestic for you, a new desperation filling your stomach to flee the situation.

Taking a step away from him, you fixed your hair, dabbed under your eyes, and tried to collect your composure.

"You don't have to act all nice to me, Steve," your voice was shaky as you felt as if you were under a microscope. You didn't have to look at him to recognize the confusion on his face.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, attempting to get closer again only to stand in place at the dramatic step you took back. "I'm not-I'm being a decent person right now, especially with what just happened. What?"

"Nothing just happened." You remained firm in your denial, it was the only way to maintain face.

He looked down at his shoes, awkwardly tilting his feet from side to side as he debated the situation. His hair was running wild in the wind that was just starting to pick up, his tattered grey hoodie with 'Hawkins Basketball' printed on the front rippled as he sighed deeply, faded denim on his legs lengthening him.

You couldn't keep your eyes off of him no matter how much you wanted to flee the situation, him being the most appetizing thing that you've laid your eyes once since the first day you met him. It wasn't what you should've been thinking about after the events that occurred, but he was tempting you in a way that scared you a little.

"Why don't you come inside? I could take you home-"

Your eyes cut to him quickly, narrowing as he raised his hands in defense. He nodded quickly, clearing his throat to continue his next few sentences carefully.

"-Or I could call you a cab or... something," he finished, chewing on his bottom lip. You could see the nerves eating away at him, his eyes trying not to stare at you in your baby tee and short shorts, skin prickling with goosebumps. If he asked, you would tell him it was because of the weather, not him.

You let out a bitter laugh, "Like there's cabs on this side of town."

The only sound that could be heard was the wind blowing through the trees, a far child's laughter from the nearest house to you, a barking of a dog.

"Come on," he whispered, his hand leaving his pocket. Slowly, he reached up to grab your hand. You didn't know why you did, let him grab your fingers into his grip. There was a slight clamminess to his hands, his nerves showing dominance over his posture. "Please."

With a slight nod of your head, you let him lead you two his house, a few hundred feet away from the remnants of the dramatic scene. The entry way was grand and huge, something that had you giggling to yourself over how much money this kid seemed to have.

"Nice place, Steve," you muttered, allowing him to hold the door open for you, take your bag from your shoulder, place it on a table in the foyer. It was a little too domestic for you, even if you wanted to welcome it. "Bet you have a nice trust fund to match it."

"Ha." His eyebrows raised with dry humor even as his face stayed the same. Sensitive topic, you noted.

With his hand on the small of your back, he led you up the stairs and into his room, his grid work wallpaper screaming at you as soon as the door opened. You whistled long and low, taking an exaggerated look around the room, before you turned to face him, plopping down on the mattress.

You bounced on the plush comfort of it, your palms splaying out beside you as you felt his comfort beneath your fingers.

"Already taking me to bed, I see," you wiggled your eyebrows at him, small smirk coming up to the corners of your mouth. He rolled his eyes at you, his own smile coming up to his face as he closed the door behind him.

"There she is," he laughed, moving to sit next to you. He bumped your hip with his own as he gestured for you to make room for him.

You laid down back on his bed, your hands coming up to feel the mattress cover above your head. With the lift of your arms, you felt your abdomen become exposed, the cool air of his room hitting your skin. His eyes ran over your figure, not lingering on the exposure of your skin, but settling on your eyes. It was the most naked you had ever felt in front of someone.

"So..." One of your hands reached down to grab at the hoodie he adorned, slightly lifting it to show the tan skin underneath. "What am I here for, handsome?"

The flush in his cheeks came and went quickly, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip.

"You don't have to-" He began before you sat up to lean into his side. Your hand came to his cheek, feeling day old stubble underneath your touch. With the closeness, you could see the different shades of brown behind his eyes, warmth that you had yet to see in the men you slept with.

"What if I want to, Steve?" You whispered, pressing a small kiss to his cheek. He gulped, Adam's apple bobbing before leaning into the kiss you pressed to his mouth, his lips molting with yours.

He tasted as sweet as last time, only seemed to get better at kissing than your last touch. It was short and sweet, mouths moving into one as you began to run your hand down his abdomen. His chest was firm beneath your touch, his teeth were a dull tug at your bottom lip, tongue asking for entrance.

"Wait-" He pulled away from you, eyes fluttering open as a small whine left your lips. "Is this going to be like last time?"

An unfamiliar ache formed in your chest at his words, your eyes bulging slightly at the hurt on his face. It was almost like his words hurt you, the idea of him being hurt by the last time hurting you. Your mouth opened and closed a few times as you thought of what to say.

This could count as the first time a man left you speechless.

"I don't know what to... say," your hand left his body, your eyes looking everywhere but him. Everything in you wanted to run for the hills, look for that cab that he promised earlier.

He nodded, his own eyes wandering around his room. "I understand, maybe I should call some-"

"No," you said, turning to look at him as he went to raise off the bed.

He turned to look at you, glancing away every couple of seconds.

"No-don't... it won't be like last time," you said, cursing at yourself internally for the words that left your mouth. You didn't know what had gotten into you, maybe it was the promise of what was about to if you stayed a little longer and promised him something. He still looked unsure as you reached to grab his hand this time. "I promise."

"Are you lying to me?" He asked, placing his own hand on your cheek this time. His fingers smoothed the hair at your hairline, thumb running over the delicate skin. "Just to sleep with me?"

Shaking your head, your instincts screamed at you, no matter what your mind was set on.

"Promise."

You expected a clash of lips, but he came in soft and slow, nipping at your lips as the two of you moved to lay down on the bed. He was heavy over you, firm muscle and the broadness of his shoulders pining you down, pressing you into his bed.

Your hands snuck underneath his hoodie, feeling the expanse of his back under your fingertips, little bits of textured skin where you imagined his constellation of moles to be. In a swift movement and a brief separation of lips, he slid it off, revealing himself shirtless underneath.

You wanted to stare at him, run your hands over his chest, become familiar with each and every one of the beauty marks adoring his skin, but his lips proved to be more appetizing. The plush skin of them knew what they were doing, licking into your mouth and pulling at your own. He was languid in his movements, passionate kisses shared between the two of you as his hands tried to slip off of the shirt you wore, tangled up right beneath your chin as he didn't want to separate from you yet again.

Your bra exposed, he pulled away to press kisses to the globes of your boobs, sucking marks into the kiss. Blindly, his hand reached down to unbutton your shorts, fingers moving expertly as you helped take off the rest of your shirt, slipping it over your head. His free hand slipped into the other cup of your bra, toying with your nipple. You began to see stars, both of his hands and mouth busy.

With one hand dipping beneath the cotton of your panties, the other pinching your nipple slightly and his mouth nipping closer to your other one, you began to see stars. This couldn't have been the same nervous boy you saw a few months ago, his moves beginning to outshine your own.

A gasp left your mouth as his thumb caught your clit as his fingers began to dip lower, his index collecting the wetness of your cunt. It was a teasing motion, the way he teased dipping the tip of his finger in and switching back to running it along your wet seam.

Leaving your breast shining with his spit, he came back to your face, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

"You okay?" He asked, intently watching you fall apart beneath him. He had barely even touched you, but you were loving the way he made you feel.

Nodding, a moan fell from you as his finger pushed in further than he attempted before, a slight wiggle of the digit before he pulled it out again. He imitated the nod you gave him, a small smirk on his lips as he placed his hand on your forehead, thumb brushing across your eyebrow. You leaned into the touch, whining as his finger returned pressing all the way down to the knuckle.

He pumped it in once, twice before removing it all together, hand leaving your shorts.

"Good, baby, now take these off for me."

He saw the hesitation in your face as the word hit you, your eyes widening as you looked at him. You didn't give him or even yourself time to process it before you were kicking off the denim, waving your ankles as your shorts got caught. He laughed at your movements, unbuttoning his own jeans to ease up the pressure in his pants with his growing hard on.

Your underwear and bra followed suit, your nakedness feeling like so much in the room. Reaching for his pants, you wanted to see him naked, see him again.

"Tonight's about you," he said, moving you up the bed so you rested against his pillows. They were plush, your palms coming up to rest beside your head, as he settled over you. "My treat."

With a nod, you let him take over, let him press kisses to your body. He was treating you like you were a work of art, cherishing you with a trail of his love as he led down your body: a kiss to your right boob, then left, a kiss down to your belly button, a glance to you to make sure that you felt okay, a nod given to him. A kiss to your pubic bone, the spread of your legs wider before he settled down, thumb catching your clit.

He began small circles, leaning up on his elbows as his other hand ran up and down your slit. Looking down at him, he was focused on your cunt, eyes intently watching the wetness that began to pool more and more. He looked so casual, like he was filing his damn taxes as he stared down at you.

"Steve," you drawled out, hips twitching as the tease became too much. Glancing up at you, he gave a shift of his head before he leaned down to press a kiss to your folds.

It had you groaning, your eyes fluttering shut as his mouth made contact. As many men as you slept with, it had been a while since anyone had gone down on you.

He was just as slow and passionate as he was kissing you, his mouth making stake somewhere else. His tongue darting out to lick at you, kitten licks running up your folds, running over your hole, thumb still rubbing those damn circles into you.

You felt yourself dripping at the way he was working you, your fingers digging into the pillows around you.

"F-fuck."

He took it as encouragement, his tongue entering you. Moving one of your legs over his shoulder, he got closer to you, removing his thumb to replace it with his mouth.

A jolt ran through your spine as he sucked at you, loud slurping noises filling the room accompanied by your moans. Your hips were grinding down on his face, one of your hands reaching down to grip at his hair.

He was insatiable, tongue running flatly over you, fingers slipping inside to massage at your wet walls. He found that spot inside of you, spongy wall sucking him in even further. A few moans of his own sounded out against you, the vibration urging a new wave of wetness.

"Steve- I'm gonna-" you barely could warn him before you were pulsating around him, a gush of wetness soaking his mouth. He moaned even louder against your clit, the feeling of it having you pull him closer to your cunt.

He continued licking at you, another finger entering you as you fell apart. The over stimulation earned a yelp from you, your hips raising off the bed to get away from his tongue.

"St-steve, it's too much-"

He left you, fingers still pumping in and out of you as you peered up at you.

"That's all you got?" His smile was devious as he continued finger fucking you, curling them at just the right time. It felt like you were a teenager again with his fingers inside of you, your stamina keeping up like nothing ever before.

Rolling your eyes, you reached down to rub at your own clit, slightly wincing at the sensitive feeling.

"I need you," you whined, spreading your legs further.

He moved quickly before he was removing himself, towering over you while kicking off his jeans. It would've been comical if you weren't so horny, the way he was trying to hold himself up and tug his pants off, boner poking out so strong, you thought it was hurting him.

Once free, he reached around you, digging into his bedside drawer as he searched for something. A few curses left him as he came up short, items clattering around as his movements became more hurried. You could read his mind.

"It's okay, we don't have to use one," you said, placing a hand on his chest from where he hovered above you. Caught off guard, he looked down at you, confusion on his face.

"You don't-?"

"It's okay, Steve," you nodded at him, the gesture becoming a language between the two of you with multiple meanings. Your own way of trusting each other.

He returned to you, leaning on his elbow as he pressed a kiss to you. "I could find one for you, if you're unsure, I'm sure they're som-"

"Steve," you said, pulling him down for another kiss. "I promise it's okay."

With a look into your eyes, he got his confirmation, pressing his mouth to yours. The kiss was slow as he reached down between you to line himself up with your entrance. Pushing in, you both groaned into each other's mouths at the stretch, your brains becoming clouded with each other.

It was a lot, bigger than you'd taken before, the girth of his cock making up for everything you've never had before. Getting choked up, you clawed at him, wanting to bring him closer than he was, even if it wasn't possible.

Pressing to the hilt, he couldn't wait before pulling out, pushing in again with a slight force that had you moving up the bed. You couldn't help the noises falling from your mouth, your eyes squeezed shut as he fucked into you, one of his legs pushing up to lift your own up.

His mouth kissed every part of yourself that it could find, your head moving side to side as he cherished you. This was all too perfect, your chest full of an emotion you were quite unfamiliar with.

"Steve."

The tone in your voice had his hips stuttering, fucking into you a little quicker. You could tell he was close by the fast movement of his hips, jerks that threw off his rhythm, pushing into you a little too far, the press of your cervix that had your back arching with the twinge of pain. It was all too good though, the pain quickly merged into pleasure as his body covered your own.

"Fuck baby, you're so perfect."

His words had your back arching further, fingernails digging into the skin of his ass, pulling him even deeper.

"I could fuck you all day."

With a moan, you pulled your leg even higher, whining at the way his dark thatch of hair was rubbing against your clit. You saw stars behind your eyelids, his words only fueling the fire building in the pit of your stomach.

"I'm gonna make you mine, gonna cum all in you, make you mi-"

A high pitched whine left your mouth as you came around him, throbbing at the feeling of his dick deep inside. You would like to say it was the sex itself that made you tip over the edge, the feeling of him hitting your spot over and over. But the two of you knew that it was the promise of his words, the feeling of being wanted by him, needed by him hitting you in just the right spot.

Worked up and spent, you took his face in your hands, pressing a kiss to his nose, then his forehead.

"Make me yours, baby," you whispered at him, watching the way his eyes fluttered shut and feeling his hips press into you once more before he paused, warmth filling you. You felt the twitch of his cock inside of you, throbbing deep as he filled you with his seed.

Groaning, he pulled out of you with a loud squelch that filled the air, one of his eyes closing in a grimace. He laid beside you, turning on his side as he stared at you.

You felt his eyes on you as you stared at the ceiling, feeling cock drunk to a whole different level. It should've had you feeling scared, but the only thing that you could feel was the warmth of him, comforting you.

His thumb rested on your hip, running small circles over the skin. The two of you watched his hand make the small movement, droplets of perspiration being wiped away.

"You could leave if you want," he whispered, voice breaking the quiet of the air. "I'm probably making you uncomfortable."

Looking up at him, you leaned up to press another kiss to his lips. His eyes found you again, shock behind the irises.

"I think I'm going to stay," you matched his low tone, smiling once his own came across his face. "I was playing hard to get at first, but now I promise I'll be hard to get rid of."

He made a dramatic face at you, a fake groan leaving his lips. "Ooo, talk dirty to me, baby."

You laughed at him as he leaned over you, pressing several kisses to your neck and chin, slathering you in his love. It still made you a little uncomfortable at the gestures, all of this a foreign concept to you. His touches began to feel a bit more like home to you, something that had been missing in all of the men that came before.

Masterlist. Inbox and requests are open! <3

#my writing #Steve Harrington x reader #Steve Harrington x you #smut #Steve Harrington smut #request #ugh I loved this one

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ao3commentoftheday · 1 hour

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How do you build confidence as a writer and start to feel okay with your own writing, as well as the stats your writing gets? I’m not a new writer, and I don’t think I’m a bad one, but I am really bad with capturing the fandom zeitgeist, and a lot of the times when I try to write characters based on how they acted in canon, I get accused of bashing them. I don’t care about rude or unflattering comments on my fics, but definitely fewer people kudos my fics when I try to write the characters how I see them instead of fanon characterization, and it sucks to know I don’t make fic recs lists or even get casually recced for anything I’ve ever written on Discord because of my writing choices. More and more often, I feel like I shouldn’t write because I know my fics will never get the praise and attention BNFs do, and then I feel guilty for not writing. But I also know that if I do, I’ll just end up with more fic readers won’t want, and let’s face it: it’s not like anyone will choose my fics when they could have a BNF’s. Is there any way for me to accept that no one will ever love my fic as much as they love fics by BNFs, and to stay motivated in spite of feeling like my writing is just permanently unwanted? Or would giving up at this point be kinder to myself if I can’t stop comparing? (I know frequent advice in these cases is to focus on building friendships and finding a community, but IME, people in fandom either aren’t interested, don’t reach out, or already have had their friends circle since the LJ days and don’t want to bother with you. Any advice on where I’d even begin?)

*hugs* Oof. That's a rough spot to be in, anon, and you're definitely not alone 💗

I think in this situation, you need to figure out what exactly it is that you're looking for. You start by asking how to get confidence as a writer, but I think you already have it. You know what stories you want to tell, and you write those stories the way you want to tell them. To me, that means that you have plenty of confidence. You have a clear vision and goal, and you write with them in mind.

Next, you mention stats but I don't think that's the issue either - except inasmuch as they can be a sign of other things. Stats on their own, however, are just numbers attached to your works. If seeing those numbers on your works and the works of others causes you distress or annoyance or another emotion you'd rather not experience, then I strongly recommend using a site skin to hide them.

The bulk of your message is about what it sounds like the issue really is: attention, praise, and yes community. You want people to get excited with about your works. You want people to talk to other people about the things that you write. You want to feel loved, or at least appreciated. You're not alone in wanting those things either.

I think the writing side of things is going well - at least from the information you've provided here. The part that isn't working for you is the posting. Putting your work up on AO3 is not only dissatisfying, it's actively discouraging you from writing more.

I'm going to make my own suggestion and then I'll leave the floor open for the blog to add in their thoughts: Have you considered role playing instead of fic writing? For the last several years, I've tucked my writing away in a discord server with my fandom bestie. We've written thousands of stories and millions of words, almost none of which have ever been posted to AO3. We don't feel the need for comments and kudos because we're both having so much fun collaborating with our blorbos and each other, writing things to make the other one happy (or sad or laugh etc), that what other people might think about it doesn't actually matter.

She also RPs in various servers with friends and strangers alike, but I haven't enjoyed that as much as just shooting replies back and forth with her. Your mileage may vary, as they say, but that might be one way to get the feedback and excitement that you're craving - whether it's in a big server with lots going on or just a little corner of 2 or 3 people.

What do the rest of you think?

#asks and answers

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spnfanficpond · 2 days

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SPN Rewatch: Fanfic Edition

Our goal is to rewatch the show with fanfic writing in mind. We want to look for all the places in canon where we could add a scene, show a scene from a certain character’s point of view, or change something to make things turn out differently. (We may also critique what the show writers did; that seems inevitable.)

Episodes we're discussing: 2.09 Croatoan and 2.10 Hunted

What time will it be for you:

UTC - Saturday 21:00

Los Angeles - Saturday 2pm

New York - Saturday 5pm

London - Saturday 10pm

New Delhi - Sunday 2:30am

Melbourne - Sunday 7am

Who’s invited? All Pond members, including Turtles! You don’t have to be a writer to have an opinion on the episodes that could inspire a writer! Everyone has valuable opinions about the show and could spark conversation and inspiration.

Where will we meet? In the discord server. There is a special channel for us to chat in so we don’t disturb other chats happening at the same time.

How does it work? On our own, whenever we have time, we all watch two episodes of SPN. At the appointed time, we all get together and chat about them. Although we have several questions to consider and creative ideas for you to do if you want, there is no pressure to actually have answers to these questions or have created anything prior to the chat. Didn’t get to watch them? No biggie! We’ve all watched these episodes enough that we can probably talk about them without rewatching them!

More info under the cut!

What questions should we consider while we watch? We have a few questions you can keep in mind while you’re watching the episodes:

Are there any “fanfiction gaps” in this episode? Any places between scenes where a juicy story could happen? (For example, one scene ends at night, but the next scene begins during the day, and what did they do with all of that time?)

How would the episode be different if you changed one thing? What is changed is up to you. It could be as complex as a character making a different choice, or as simple or silly as someone wearing a funny hat throughout part or all of the episode.

What about this episode would you like to see happen differently? How would making that change affect future episodes?

List any parts of each episode that you think could be jumping-off points for a fic. Like, in the pilot, how did Sam meet their friend who was in the bar with them?

How would the episode be different if there were another character involved like a reader insert character?

Do any of the themes we've already discussed in The Archive (See the bottom of the doc under the heading "Thematic docs") show up in this episode? Does this episode bring up any new themes we should be watching out for in the future?

What else can we do before the chat? You can add any notes you have about the episodes we'll be discussing to The Archives! In addition, besides just discussing the fanfiction possibilities in every episode, we also want to encourage you to create things centered around the episodes we’re discussing and share them with the rest of us. Things like:

Write some meta about some part of the episode. What does this episode show us about one or more of the characters?

Write a fic based on the episode. Share a link to your fic in the discussion and we can talk about it!

Make a playlist that you feel reflects the mood of the episode.

Make some art or a photo collage or edits to go along with the episode.

We look forward to seeing everything you create! Be sure to tag us so we can reblog your work!

Have questions about this or anything else? Send us an ASK or send a private message to one of the admins below!

Admins:

Michelle - @mrswhozeewhatsis

Marie - @mariekoukie6661

MJ - @thoughtslikeaminefield

Mana - @manawhaat (Founder and Admin Emeritus)

#pond events #spnfanficpond spn rewatch #spn fan fiction #spn fanfiction #spn fan fic #spn fanfic #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fan fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #john winchester #mary winchester

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a2zillustration · 6 months

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Part 1 of 4

I thought Gale's romance scene in Act 2 was really wonderful and special and decided to make a whole multi-page comic about it.

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#I hope you like it and if you don't just stick around for more of the usual BG3 comic content after this lol #Also please be nice I've been vacillating wildly between-#“I love this thing I made” and “I feel so weird about making a character x tav comic”#but I did think the way this scene was done worked very well with how I've been playing Croissant with the romance #adds another tally on the list of “things to personally thank Larian about in this game” lol anyway sorry for rambling #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #gale romance spoilers #act II spoilers #croissant adventures #gale #tav #gale x tav #comics #gale dekarios #breadweave

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kyouka-supremacy · 1 year

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Uhm..................

#I got an ask‚ and to answer I was bracing myself to make a big bsd content masterpost #And I did! I was already on my way to share all the manga reading platform I use for every manga‚ I had already listed them up #And I was going to add the additional content like anime streaming resources and art scans resources...#But now I'm having some serious reconsiderations #Like I was happy to make a masterpost! Making masterposts is fun-#and fuels the autistic need to put every little thing in little categories #But now I don't know if it's... Safe to have them all in one place?? I was very glad to share with people the resources I personally use-#but I really don't want to make something that is just. A big list of sites to report / shut down. The thought scares me immensely #And I thought it was safe to share manga reading platforms on Tumblr but what about‚ to name one‚ n/yaa? Would it be safe to link to that?#And it's something I'd highly want to include because some stuff that's there you won't find anywhere else‚#such as the Dead Apple official English translation‚ the official Beast English scans...#Same would go‚ to make another example‚ for m/initokyo‚ or anime streaming platform.#Is it safe to share those... Uhm... More hidden websites through Tumblr? And if not‚ do I have any alternative for sharing?#I'm quite sad because I was already half way through making the list-#but now I'm not sure it's worth to continue if I never end up sharing it.#But then again the safety of people who share content has the maximum priority to me– I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING without them #Mmmmmmmmmmmhhhh...#I even contemplated sharing the masterlist through text file‚ but I'm not sure if that might work out.#For one‚ I will never EVER use g/oogle docs or any g/oogle service for the matter. I'd rather die #So... I'd really appreciate it if anyone could advice me on this / had any suggestion / thought #random rambles #Sorry for the long ramble. I'm stuck

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deus-ex-mona · 10 months

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“i’m all alone, but i’m as happy as can be!”

#aka top 10 things i wish i could drill into my coworkers brains grrrrrrrrrrrrrrnrhrhbgbgbfbfbfnf #‘you should get a bf’ ‘when are you gonna get married and have kids?’ how about n e v e r #i just want to sleep when i’m not on the clock mans i don’t want to waste my precious sleep time on others #i mean. i don’t even leave the house on my days off. not to go shopping or anything bc sleep is more important~~~#and stuff can be bought online anyways s o o o o o #g o d speaking of online purchases thoughhh this massage seat i bought online came in yesterday and it works amazingly well~~~~~#used it for half an hour last night and i was relaxed enough to sleep for 11-12 hours straight #wish i had space for an actual massage chair though but this will have to do…#it’s been my dream to own a massage chair for the longest time…… but ig this massage seat is good enough……#i can just slap it onto my desk chair and b a m ✨instant paradise✨#speaking of instant though… one of my coworkers was commenting on my love for instant noodles the other day #‘you’ll ✨d i e✨ faster if you eat a lot of cup noodles yk?’ he said #so ✨o f c✨ my mouth chose to work faster than my brain when i replied with ‘i’m fine with that bc i won’t have to work then’#he and another coworker laughed :( sadded #b u t i finally had my cup noodles that i ‘customised’ at the cup noodle museum today and it was good~~~~~~~ i have good taste (self praise)#the best part was the lack of spring onions!!!! bc screw spring onions really who decided that they should be included with most cup noodles #or just noodles in general? the texture sucks and they don’t even taste good man. why would you even add spring onions?#it’s number 2 in my list of most hated food toppings. it loses only to ikan bilis bc s c r e w ikan bilis or dried anchovies or whatever #they’re known as >:( i hateeeeee how takeout places will just assume that you want ikan bilis and lop on a huuuuugeeeee serving of them #atop your food as you desperately and futilely b e g them to stop #and when you try to pick them out they just!!!! keep turning up everywhere instead?????#like hello???? how did you manage to get to the bottom of the bowl???? you were only added as a topping!!!!!!!#also. their eyes are really creepy. and the heads get detached from the bodies all the time and just. seeing the eyes ruins my appetite.#wait this was supposed to be about my coworkers and their pushiness in a matter that doesn’t concern them how did we get so far off-topic—#chizuutan chizpost

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thornheartfelt · 5 months

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Me seeing a fictional man that has done bad things before and is hated by at least some of the fandom

#anomaly.txt #why does this keep happening to me #if i add this guy to the f/o list i fear i may actually get people trying to call me out for 'excusing his actions'#because people do NOT like him #but also it would be kinda funny if that did happen #like that would not be the hill to die on #when i also selfship with a character whose hobbies include freezing people in time to display in a giant gallery #and another character who worked on a bio weapon to ensure that it kept working #i think some people on here tend to forget that liking a character doesn't mean you agree with all their actions #critical thinking is a thing #avatar of vengeance #blood and whiskey

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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 year

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Have we talked about the almost empty water cooler they walk past on their way into the poker game?!!!

#I like to think that it’s a nod to the idea of the poker scene being a water cooler moment - a significant moment of television that’s #discussed around the water cooler at work the next day #as well as it being another water related thing to add to the list!!!#911 on fox #911 fox #911onfox #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie

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cupcakesmoothie · 1 year

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When you're feeling messed up but you're a writer so you go and write something messed up to make yourself feel better

#It actually works for me usually #I guess it's like pouring all my feelings into one place until I don't feel it anymore #That's what #cupcakeycrisis #is for #Just writing until I cry and after I cry I guess I just feel tired #Anyway I watched a video about Itaewon and it really got to me #Started questioning my mortality and how I am susceptible to preventable accidents that can change or end my life #Started writing a different thing #It's not a vent piece if anything but like one of those things that develop into full stories #Another thing to add to the WIP list #sweetmountainseeds #writing memes

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rin-enjoyer · 5 months

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ok finally put my hands in the air and sat down to compile the team 7 sensei rin au timeline. subject to change but like. for now here it is ^_^

-obito doesn't push kakashi out of the way of the boulder. MINDNUMBING GUILT FOR THIS CHILD!!!! rin cares about as much as she did when obito was the one to die (not at all lmao)

-important side quest! minato's favorite was kakashi and when he dies he is sad. this sadness makes him sloppy and he ends up getting captured by iwa and killed for all of the war crimes. he deserved it <3

-obito: devistated rin: eh

-with minato and kakashi gone, the team is kind of... less important... obito and rin stop going on missions outside of the village as much and without the spotlight of Politics pushing rin to become a mednin in order to copy previous succesful team setups she starts persuing other interests which.

-rin: yay now i can do what i want!!! i am free to choose any path i want!! i don't have to be a medic if i dont want to be!! i can finally follow my dreams of-

rin: *remembers that she only dislikes being a mednin because she didnt choose it. and doesnt know what she Actually wants to do*

rin: ah

-she waffles around a bit. a lot. she never actually really settles on anything, and just sort of ends up becoming a very well-rounded guy.

-anyways meanwhile in grampy madara's spoopy cave kakashi is having a Bad Time. so is madara. he got like,, the WORST guy ever to enact his plan, on account of kakashi's stupid single-minded loyalty to konoha, and he doesnt even have a sharingan

-convoluted plan to murder obito in a way that hopefully convinces kakashi to help out and gets madara an eyeball so that the plan can actually be fulfilled: activate

-obito gets the three-tails and rin hunts him down because she doesnt have anything better to do and when she finds him he's all "rin we gotta find kushina!! i can't go back to the village yet otherwise explodsions :C" and rin does some quick mental math and decides that that seal is NAUGHT getting fixed.

-rin kills obito there and then in that cave, annoying madara and the kiri ninja and obito if he was not dead. this is a Big Moment for her because she makes a Decision!! she views this as "a sliver of her true self shining through" for a while which.. is complicated but i'll get back to that.

-madara throws a rock at her. or something. and knocks her out so he can at least go scavenge the eyeballs but he only gets one before uchiha search and rescue shows up (obito was NOT disregarded by his clan disregarded uchiha do not get put on the Special Superspeed Pathway to Become Hokage team fight me)

-they see rin, unconscious, and obito, missing an eye and only recently killed, and put two and two together and get five and go "awwww D: girl almost died protecting his body from that mysterious shadow guy who just disappeared. even if she failed her effort means a lot."

-so rin, despite being kind of filler on the politics team, getts thrust into the limelight as a handy-dandy link to mend village relations with the uchiha. "girl who protected her teammate with everything she had..." ect ect. which is funny

-as a sign of good will the uchiha give her obito's remaining eye, which is a surprisingly good fit for her jack of all trades style.

-orochimaru is the last candidate for hokage so danzo n hiruzen start really scrambling to get his public reputation up. what better way to do this than to give him a child? orochimaru is studying sharingan anyways, right? he's not unhappy with it and it once again consolidates political power and anko increased his likability by that much, so like? another student? yeah? yeah?

-anko is REALLY good for rin because she'll suggest something and rin (who still just goes along with a lot of stuff at this point) agrees. and anko is the first person to realize that rin is NOT a sweet polite little girl she is messed up in exciting new ways. orochimaru is a close second.

-anyways orochimaru's poking around with bodies and stuff and the sharingan letting her take techniques and not having a convenient mask to pull on eventually leads rin to the realization that she doesn't HAVE a "true self" girrrll who would have thought....

-meanwhile kakashi is having Cave Time and through a lot of wheedling and no social interaction besides madara kakashi is convinced to do the infinite tsukuyomi For Konoha. a la danzo. (danzo sakumo hiruzen kakashi essay In Progress lol)

-rin, new, healthier self image acquired, goes on to be Very successful. orochimaru becomes the hokage, rin rotates between his private guard and missions, and everything is dandy!! once again danzo keeps his flirting with hiruzen out of the politics and the uchiha massacre doesn't happen cuz Rin tm and stuff is greatttt!!!

-also naruto is born With incident but its. fine. its fine. kushina dies jiriya who is visiting dies to seal kurama in naruto and its like. sad but who cares amiright

-so right as naruto sasuke and sakura are about to graduate, the politics machine starts working, and like. to Consolidate Power rin is the obvious choice for sensei.

-she goes "ughhh fine ok" and does it and like. its fine. its good.

-...until wave happens!!!!! :D

-fun fact! rin does love people! shes just weird about it. and sometimes she doesn't notice.

-she does beat zabuza and haku on their first meeting because she hasn't been depression napping her way through the past two years.

-but it's still a nasty wake up call, yaknow? those kids could have died! and she would have been... sad? like actually sad?

-rin still preforms on occasion, but she's weird about it in different ways now. and she's pretty sure that she actually likes these kids???

-which is weird and novel but eh. whatever. she'll do her best to teach them apparently.

-sasuke becomes a medic and. this is long and i need to wrap this up but i will elaborate on narrative signficance of this later lol because its there

-kakashi finishes collecting tailed beasts much slower because he keeps passing out (rip) but he does get there eventually

-rin is dodging hokage-ship so that she can keep messing around with her kids. yes they are jounin shut up she's not taking care of them they are her BESTIES. (important distiction that isnt even a lie. she is NOT their mom she is NOT their older sister she is the Cool Older lesbian who taught them the tricks of the trade and now they party together. a ten year age gap is not as big as you guys think it is. you can be friends with old people.)

-anyways eventually kakashi comes for naruto. it goes badly because he is perpetually exhausted and team 7 is perpetually hyped and also no one's even gne missingnin. AND his one cool trick gets countered by rin who can do the Same Cool Trick

-oh also he goes by sukea. hehe sometimes fanon is correct.

-any other version of rin would have gone ballastic but this rin scrunches her face and goes "ok so he is kind of a nohara in the same way that i am kind of an uchiha." thats not whats going on but ok i guess

-rin also kills him (now she is two for two) and madara never even got revived and then everyone just kind of. "that was weird"s the whole situation and goes home.

#hmgh i left a lot out but ive been working on this for a while. and explaining how rock lee dying leads to his entire team defecting #would take too long :C #i will do a deep dive on my tenten thoughts another day. add that one to the list boys #anyways important note that while konoha is the most succesful in this world that isnt'. that doesn't mean that its the best one #this isnt a “good” rin au she is honestly still doing horrific things #just in the name of a more concrete village. sigh.#once i figure out how to make it fun and spicy i might make an au of this au where rin anko and orochimaru Overthrow the Shinobi systerm #because if anyone's making it happen its them.#well. whatever. i think im gonna go ttake a nap im so tired. jet lag >:/

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