#anteric | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ilguna · 2 years

Text

Anteric - Eumoiriety (f.o)

summary: secrets have more worth than you gave them credit for.

warnings; swearing. blood mention, gun mention.

wc; 2.8k

NOTES; I give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

Without a hint of hesitation, you watch as your best friend, Finnick Odair, turns to face the two metal bowls on his left, Dauntless and Abnegation. The two of you have known for years that he’d be leaving at the first given chance. Even if you wanted to, you could never beg him to stay here, not when this faction makes him so miserable.

He moves his hand over the burning coals of Dauntless, allowing his blood to run down the side of hand, sizzling blood signifies his leave. The Dauntless section explodes into cheer, celebrating their newest member. There’s a few of them that look a little shocked that a Stiff will be joining them, but they’re more delighted than anything. If their faction is appealing enough to draw even the selfless people out of their home, that must mean they’re doing something right.

Finnick retreats up the stairs to stand behind his new faction, and Haymitch Abernathy, the leader of Candor, doesn’t hesitate to call the next name. You watch in anxious silence as your turn nears. The decision shouldn’t be one at all, not with your aptitude result being Abnegation.

However, watching Finnick go makes you doubt that you can stay. It’s not because you don’t like it here--or fit in--more of the fact that you and Finnick have gone through everything together. He was there for you when both of your parents died, and he was there when your brother had transferred to Amity.

You can’t pretend you didn’t know that this was coming. You knew that he would never stay, and he told you last night that he would be leaving. When you heard the news coming from him, you told him to do anything he had to, and that you’ll forgive him no matter what. At the time, you were picturing him leaving, just like he did. You never thought how you’d feel watching it happen, seeing him on the other side of the room.

You would never hold it against him, or go back on your promise. He’s been by your side since the two of you were kids, to suddenly say you hate him would be crazy. He’s not just your friend anymore, he’s your family.

Which means you know that it’ll be difficult for him to start all over by himself. He doesn’t know anyone in Abnegation, and the key to passing initiation is to have some people on your side, you at least know that much.

If you were to leave, your siblings would have each other. Reed has Alyssum for thirteen more years, plenty of time for him to set up a family before her Choosing Ceremony, if she ends up leaving.

Finnick is completely ripping up his roots and forcing himself to claim new land. With you there, it would be more manageable.

“(Y/n) Gallows.” Haymitch says, his eyes landing on you next.

At your own pace, you slowly make your way down to the middle of the room. All eyes are on you at the moment, most Abnegation teenagers have stayed so far, with the occasional outlier like Finnick. If they do transfer, it seems that Amity is what they were made for, something you’re not entirely surprised about.

Your brother had gone to Amity, it’s only been three years since you saw him last, but it feels like a lifetime. You knew that’s what he had to do, though. Mox always had the heart of gold, softer than you and Reed, which is okay. He needed to go to a place where he belonged the most, where judgement didn’t come along so often.

The thought of joining him is tempting, you do have to admit that.

You stop in front of the bowls, trying to picture yourself from your audience’s perspective, how they might be feeling. A little Abnegation girl, dressed in grey, never spoke out of line once in her life. Her family’s name has been passed around more times than it should. Two dead parents, an older brother gone, two kids too many for the Abnegation ideal.

Despite this, no one can claim that any of you are out of place here. You give up your spot on the bus, which has caused you to be late to class more times than you’d like. You don’t fight with the others, you always volunteer your time to people who need it. Whether it be tutoring or one of the factionless begging for food. You’ve always put yourself last in order to follow the rules.

For Finnick, it’s the opposite. He’s taller than the average guy, making him stick out in crowds, even when hunching. His voice is louder than it should be, people in grey used to glare at the back of his head when they heard him. And his first instinct has always been to think of himself and everyone else later.

Well, that’s not entirely true. You’ve actually seen yourself come before him several times, all willingly on his part. He always took the initiative to make sure you were doing okay. Maybe asking you how you’re feeling, other times he’d force his way to the front of the bus line when you didn’t feel well.

You’ve returned the favor several times by being his alibi on certain things. Coming home too late, indulging in group gatherings when he shouldn’t, getting caught up in fights. It didn’t matter the situation, because as long as he was okay at the end of the night, you were there to cover him.

As you look over each element in the bowls, you note how blood stains them differently. Erudite’s water is now tinted a gentle pink, Candor’s glass is reflecting red, Abnegation’s stones are stained red. The only two that don’t show a sign that someone bled on them, are Amity’s dirt and Dauntless’ fire. Although, the Dauntless coals do sizzle upon contact with the blood.

Haymitch offers you the knife, and you take it without so much of a second look at him. Your body turns towards the left on instinct, leaving Erudite, Candor and Amity out of the question.

You bring the blade across your palm, allowing it to pool while you dispose of the knife. Your fate says that you should stay in Abnegation, continue with the ideals that you’ve been living in for sixteen years, and become a perfect member of the faction. That’s not what will be happening, though.

Finnick has put you first so many times, and you think it’s your turn to do the same for him.

You’ve heard a lot about Dauntless initiation, the first always being how difficult it is. This morning you went talking to the factionless to get any sort of insight on what initiation could be like. They told you many find themselves factionless because they couldn’t stomach what they had to do. In fact, a good amount of the factionless you talked to were ex-Dauntless initiates.

The stories they told you made you want to reach out to Finnick to tell him what he could go through. Initiation could’ve changed over time, but the factionless were saying that typically standards don’t change, and you had to agree with them on that one. You didn’t go through with telling Finnick, only because you know that doubt can ruin one dream, and you’ll be damned if you’re the one thing that holds Finnick back from doing what he’s destined to.

If they were telling the truth, and it’s actually as difficult as they say, Finnick’s going to need a friend to get him through it. And who fits that job better than you do?

As much as you’d like to stay, you know that this is the right thing. You move your hand over the Dauntless coals, feeling the warmth lick up at your palm when you pour the blood out. The blood disappears from sight, confirming what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life.

Dauntless erupts into cheers immediately, making you flinch slightly from the intensity. You tuck your hand into your pocket, not wanting to get blood everywhere. As you make your way up to stand next to Finnick, you offer your new faction members shy smiles. They pat your back, congratulating you.

This hurts Reed, you can see it in his face, but in time he’ll forgive you. Eventually he’ll see that this is the most selfless thing you will ever do in your life. You just transferred to a place where you don’t belong just so a friend feels more at home. You give him a nod, and it seems that he’s already beginning that process of understanding.

The second you meet Finnick’s eyes, you’re able to see the confusion and concern. He knows you don’t belong here, he knows how out-of-place you’re going to feel. You told him last night that your result was Abnegation, but you never told him that it meant goodbye.

“Why?” he asks, not minding the looks you two earn from others.

You elbow his arm slightly, giving him a smile, “Why do you think?”

It doesn’t feel like it’s been a month, not with everything Dauntless has put you through.

You barely passed the first stage of initiation, which was exactly what you were told it was going to be. You were paired against the other initiates to prove that you could defend yourself in a fight. And after losing the first two fights, it finally clicked and you were able to win the last two. Your ranking at the end wasn’t the best, but you weren’t cut, that’s all that mattered to you.

The gun and knife training in-between wasn’t exactly your favorite situation to be put into, either. In Abnegation, self defense is, of course, seen as selfish, which is why practically the entire faction denies any sort of training to protect themselves. Even in dire need, they’d rather die before they did something so heinous.

You can see why, you can end up taking someone else’s life to save yours. The person could be a murderer and they’d likely try to take a more gentle approach to coax them out of the mindset, rather than take them down entirely. That’s the entire reason why Dauntless exists, you guess. Dauntless makes the hard decisions that no one else can.

The next stage was facing your fears, another idea that you weren’t too fond of. The hallucinations made you come face to face with nightmares you didn’t even know you had. That entire week was filled with sleepless nights, and waking up in sweat-soaked sheets. You weren’t the only one that was fazed by the stage, which was the most comforting part about that.

Everyone was broken and quiet. When the rankings finally came out again, you were sure that you were going to be at the very bottom, sure that you hadn’t improved and maybe even went down some. You were pleasantly surprised when you saw that you had gone up a number or two, meaning you made it past another round of cuts.

Finnick, on the other hand, couldn’t fit in more.

He was undefeated during the fights, anyone he came across either lost or they had forfeit before things had gotten too awful. He had the lowest time when it came to fear-facing, meaning he kept his golden spot at the top of the rankings. And he really was a natural when it came to shooting the guns.

If you hadn’t grown up with Finnick in Abnegation, you wouldn’t know any better. You’ve got yourself completely convinced that he was made for Dauntless. He even fits in with the Dauntless-borns, a feat that the other transfers haven’t achieved yet. Wherever they go, he’s not far to follow.

As much as Finnick tries his best to tone it down, the teasing hasn’t stopped yet. You thought that you’d at least lose the label of being a Stiff once you came here, but it must be written into your code. No matter how hard you try to loosen up, you find yourself retreating back into your nature. You know you can’t live the rest of your life this way, especially not if you’re going to be a Dauntless member.

It’s hard to break out of the shell, though. The most you’ve done so far is get your ears pierced and a small matching tattoo with Finnick. You can’t stand the idea of cutting your hair just yet, god forbid dying it. Everyone is so physical, and loud, and they take up more space than they need.

Dauntless is the complete opposite of Abnegation.

However, initiation is over. The announcement on whether or not you’re a member should be soon. The entire dining room is filled with people, far beyond the recommended capacity. You thought that it was far too busy and impossible to find a seat on casual days. Now, people are quite literally elbow to elbow to make room for more people.

It’s not the best feeling in the world, to be touching thighs with someone else. You know that no matter the situation, you’ll always put your comfort aside if it means to help others. One of these guys could be crying and you’d offer them a hug in order to get them to feel better.

Like now for example--minus the crying part--Finnick’s got your hand in a deathgrip, and it’s only getting tighter with each passing second. You can’t imagine a world where Finnick doesn’t make it into Dauntless, especially with his perfect scores, but anxiety can be odd sometimes. You’ve had a couple of stomach churns in the past couple of days, yourself. And it wasn’t for anything significant.

Finnick’s hand is warm in yours, and he’s been holding it since the two of you sat down at the table almost an hour ago. It hadn’t been so crowded then, you could comfortably cross your legs without kicking someone. If you tried that now, you’d earn glares from around you. Unlike Abnegation, Dauntless members have no problem with airing their problems.

You absently watch as Caspian gets on top of a table to give his speech. It isn’t until the words come out of his mouth, do you pay attention, “As you all know, initiation has just ended. We started off with nineteen initiates, ten of them being our own blood, nine of them being transfers. Now, we have thirteen initiates left, and only ten of them will be allowed to call themselves one of us.”

Caspian smiles, “To those who have made it this far, though. We offer you our congratulations.”

Cheering erupts around you, mostly clapping and stomping to reinforce what Caspian has just said.

He continues, raising his voice, “In Dauntless, we believe in bravery. In Dauntless, we believe in taking action. And in Dauntless, we believe in freedom from fear, and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of the world we live in, so that the good can prosper and thrive. Initiates, if you have made it this far, you must also believe in these things. Which is why we welcome you.”

There’s no silence, only whistling and clapping.

“Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their jobs, in order of how they are ranked. Their rankings were determined based on a combination of three scores. The first comes from combat training, the second comes from the simulations, and the third is from today’s final examination--the fear landscape.

“The rankings will appear on the screen behind me.”

Finnick’s squeezing gets tighter as the names appear on the screen behind Caspian. You can see Finnick at the very top, in the first slot, confirming your thoughts. Your eyes wander down further and further, and find that you’re not dead last, just average somewhere in the middle. You weren’t cut.

Finnick lets out a breath, and when you look at him, you can see a relieved smile on his face, “You made it.”

“Forget about me, Finn. You’re number one!” You laugh, shaking his shoulder. He finally lets your hand go, which is throbbing slightly from the sudden release, “You’ve got the pick of the litter.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Finnick says, pausing for a moment.

“What is it?” you ask when he doesn’t say anything else. You thought that he’d be celebrating, but you’re watching as the smile slowly fades from his face.

It comes back in that instant, in the form of a bashful smile. You have no time to ask, as Finnick leans forward and presses his lips to yours. You cup his face, holding him in place to savor the warmth.

He’s the first to pull away, staring at you wordlessly, then he says, “Thank you.”

ANTERIC IS A SPIN-OFF DIVERGENT AU //MASTERLIST//

add yourself to the TAGLIST

#ilguna #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair oneshot #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair anteric #anteric #anteric eumoiriety #thg #divergent

22 notes · View notes