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yandere-wishes · 4 months

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𐙚 𝕬 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝕷𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖔 𝕯𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖚𝖑𝖆 𐙚

Wednesday February 14th xxxx

Dear Dracula:

I find myself pondering if, deep down, in the heart you deny possessing. There still exists a chasmic rhyme and reason for all which you do. They call you monster, fiend, abomination. Yet aren't they the ones that maim and slaughter for reasons as thin as thread? Thus why should we possess the burden of such an accursed name?

Valentine's is upon us. Maybe such sacrilegious festivities can be blamed for my intrepidity. We've yet to consort outside our nocturnal affairs, outside our world of half-spun truths and forgotten anecdotes. I pray you forgive my effrontery. I pray you comprehend my need for making such inquiries.

But my dear precious Dracula, I have to ask. Do you still remember your mother, your home, your heritage? Many deny that one as egregious as you could possess such mortal things. And yet aren't those the fundamental pillars of who we turn out to be? Isn't one man's evil another man's crusade?

So I, a mortal who believes she may have fallen for you in all your atrocious glory, ask do you remember being a son, a child? Being innocent and naive enough to believe every lie and fable? Do you still yarn for your mother in the dead of day? Recalling her scent and the bouncy curls of her hair, tasting nostalgia on your blood-soaked tongue.

What was it like in the sand, in the snow, in the green valleys and rocky outskirts? Did the coarseness of sand and the roughness of rocks and the tickle of flowers leave phantom pains across your body? Did you play with the snakes and climb fig trees? Did you laugh with others of your kind?

Do you recall your ancestrial home? The bronze walls of your mother's temple. Her fingers wafting through your hair as her smile radiates brighter than the moon. I zealously trust the visions that flash before my eyes on moonless nights. Images of a frail batling wrapped in kaleidoscopic blankets tucked under his mother's arm. Your mother mingled with owls, I wonder why she constructed you in the likeness of bats, of wolves, of snakes? Did she wish for you to serve as a cacophony to the detested, to those we so quickly forget? Did she wish for you something she could never have herself?

They seldom recall you are one of the sons of flames and stardust. Do they forget we share a legacy? One I believe you fought for. Both descendants of the divinely blessed. Both lost children arid for blood and retribution.

I too know of the darkly sweet tang of rich blood upon the tongue.

I too know the fragile elation of scraping blood from under one's fingernails three days later.

I too know the sensation of being a monster in everything but intentions.

I cherish the two lone bites you've left upon my neck. I cherish the cuts your claws have left upon my hips. You never say a word when you fall. When melancholy and memories obfuscate your judgment. I know you refuse to act human, to pretend and be something you are not. Thus I won't ask for sweet nothings from you.

Yet still I long to hear you call me "love".

When did you realize you were equal parts hellfire and shamshir?

When did you realize that humanity deserves to suffer for its every injustice?

My sweet, sweet Dracula, I regret to inform you that as of late my bones feel faulty and brittle, as do my thoughts. Can we still call ourselves holy? Do we still have that right? Can we still repent for our sins? Who decides what a sin is anyway? Will we ever be innocent to someone?

Are you torn too? Broken in all the wrong places? Do you feel the open wounds and amputations, when you stare up at the stars? I wonder if I owe you an apology. I wonder if you owe me one too…

Dearest Dracula, would you ever understand if I told you that I am tired of being a monster, a villain, an abomination? Would you understand if I told you I need to rest inside a glass coffin, to be rejuvenated and reborn into the world as something useful?

Would you believe me if I say I believe in you? That I lay the burden of my aspirations upon your unwavering shoulders. Should there exist any mere slivers of hope, I shall bestow them upon you in trim vials of gold.

Where did our obligations go? Where are they buried so that I may pay my tardy regards?

Dear Dracula,

I hope you understand every star I've spilled to you.

I hope you comprehend the love I harbor within my defective heart.

I hope you adore the blood I've penned this letter with.

I just hope you understand…

In your absence, thorn bushes grow across my cadaver. suffocating and desolate. Without you, voids grow inside me, where hope once flourished. Dracula what I've been trying to say this whole time is…

I think we're both monsters.

I think I could love you.

Sincerely me…

P.S

Think of me as you feast upon your latest victim. And I shall think of you as I fall asleep to the city's empty tunes.

I need an origin story for Dracula.

sorry for the cryptic love letter.

But hopefully this way everyone can identify with it in some way.

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aro-geo-turtle · 4 months

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Relistened to The Aro Part of malevolent ep 31 and maaannnn. It’s not even how Arthur talks about his relationship with Bella just not being right, it’s:

1. The fact that Arthur Lester, Mr “I am fundamentally broken, I ruin everyone around me and destroy their lives” himself, …is confidant that he wasn’t wrong for feeling that way.

His feelings about Bella are so integral that this is the one singular thing he doesn’t feel the least but guilty for. Wow

2. The way this James guy responds to him. Arthur says “I dont love her” and James replies “well it seemed like it to me.” Then later he says “Bella might not be right for you, but she may be very well the only person who will ever love you”

This is exactly how alloros respond when we try to explain ourselves. They shove their ideas of what romance looks like onto our relationships regardless of the actual feelings involved or it being none of their fucking business. Then they go on about how we’re ungrateful because at least someone loves us and that’s obviously the most important thing ever and we “owe” them love in return

Uuhhhhhggggg. Fuck you james whoever.

Anyways. Aro ppl <2 <2 <2

#malevolent #malevolent part 31 #arthur lester #aro Arthur Lester

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buckttommy · 1 month

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Everyone’s losing it over Tommy potentially being at the bachelor party and I’m just here like it’s a good thing either way?? Like we get some super cute buck tommy scenes and we get buck and eddie being chaotic besties together and just living their bestest life. I know a lot of ppl were hoping for something to go down between buck and eddie or for them to think something happen to lead to feelings realization and maybe tommy being there hinders that in their minds idk? Personally I never held the assumption that anything romantic or explicitly suggestive would be occurring between buddie given that this is an episode about madney and delving into buddie non platonically needs to be a separate thing. But anyway, while I want em to get together eventually, I don’t want it to be like this personally and especially just as buck and tommy are building their relationship and buck is figuring out his sexuality it’s just icky and we’re talking about buck being on a hamster wheel, starting their relationship like that sure as hell wouldn’t get him “off” the hamster wheel

Man, I have such a big gripe with this idea that Buck hasn't gotten off of the hamster wheel yet. I know that's not the point of your message, necessarily—and I do get it, and agree totally with what you're saying—but I'm curious as to what it is that people want Buck to do to get "off" the hamster wheel if, in their opinion, he's still on it. I mean, perhaps it all comes down to the way we read and interpret these characters, and if that's the case, that's fine. But a fundamental aspect of Buck's arc is that something has been missing in his life and he's been chasing that unnameable thing for years. Part of it was the Daniel thing, sure, but part of it was also something intrinsic to him. Buck has been searching for all the pieces to his puzzle in all the wrong people (Abby, Ali, Taylor, etc) and kissing Tommy, awakening to his bisexuality, was that thing finally clicking into place (hence the double entendre "I am free" that everyone glosses over). So I'm just confused as to what else people would like for him to do.

One of the points I've seen people make is that Buck asked Tommy to go to the wedding with him, and, like. Respectfully (/srs)... so what? Lol. Buck is still Buck. Being bisexual and having a crush on a man isn't going to change that. He's always going to jump in headfirst to everything he does. Another point I've seen is that, he needed Eddie to tell him to call Tommy, which I don't really get either. Mainly because I understood exactly where Buck was coming from. If I thought I blew my chances with a hot guy I had a crush on, I would probably need my best friend to tell me not to catastrophize and give the whole thing another chance too. Sometimes you need those kind of pep talks and that's okay! Anyway, I just think that expecting immediate growth just to justify that Buck has broken that pattern, when it's pretty obvious that he has—or is at least well on his way—seems a little... something. I can't put my finger on the word, but I find it irksome nonetheless. Again, it probably has to do with how we're all reading/interpreting the character which is why I haven't said anything, but since you mentioned it, I figured now was my one and only chance to talk about it before I go back to yapping in my friends' DMs lol.

Anyways. Tommy at the Bachelor party. Yeah, I mean. I think it'd be a shame to have any "big" Buddie moment at Madney's wedding/during their wedding episode anyway because it'll immediately overshadow Maddie and Chimney's day, and I don't want that! 9-1-1 is an ensemble for a reason; we can give Maddie and Chimney one day out of the season, like. It's literally fine lol.

#jack answers mail #tv: 911 #If you guys start discourse because of this post reblogs are getting turned off and it's getting deleted.#Behave

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ternaryflower53 · 3 months

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on investiture and trauma

so @thephilosophersapprentice made this post about Snapping, and reading it reminded me of my half-baked theory about how being Invested represents different manifestations of trauma - or at least, it's one way that we can explore how trauma manifests

(note: i am not a 17s theorist, this is more about themes in Brandon's stories than Realmatic Theory or whatever)

Anyway. Snapping is a very typical way of thinking about trauma, particularly a singular traumatic event. Like @thephilosophersapprentice says, "Something has left you broken in a way fundamental enough to let the other in, and it becomes normal." I think it's interesting to consider how most of the time, Snapping gives you a single power, something that manifests as a singular expression of a singular event. (Which is not exactly how trauma works, but...)

Meanwhile, becoming a Radiant also requires cracks in your spiritweb - but it seems like becoming a Radiant is much more about smaller traumas that build up over time. Things like Shallan's abusive childhood, Kaladin's time as a soldier and slave - these are things that are ongoing traumas that affect your entire being, the way you view the world. And Radiant orders are about the way you view the world (see: swearing Oaths), which feels very intentional.

Breaths/Awakening kind of fucks with my thoughts a little, but there's still something there... specifically, how losing a Breath (your innate Investiture) makes someone depressed, more susceptible to disease, etc - these are also manifestations of trauma. But then having a lot of Breaths makes you hyperaware of things (perfect pitch, perfect color) - these are framed as good things, but you could consider them to be similar to hypervigilance. And I have friends with perfect pitch who tell me it can be upsetting and overstimulating.

There's a lot more magic systems, I know, and I don't have thoughts on all of them. Some of them might not fit this lens of analysis. But Brandon focuses on these particular magic systems, and Stormlight especially is very much about trauma and recovery, and, well. I think you could dig into a lot more with the relationship between magic & trauma if you wanted to.

#tern talks #cosmere #cfsbf #stormlight archive #mistborn #i don't have a specific thesis for this or anything #but yeah #also i feel like someone indigenous should talk about the Reod and the AonDor and like. generational trauma and ties to the land #that's the extent of my thoughts on it bc i haven't read elantris in forever but that's also something

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thescholarlystrumpet · 10 months

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I always say I don't do Meta but here I am stuck in my head over the Family Systems lens of viewing our beloved Ineffable Idiots.

Crowley, as the Black sheep (scapegoat) has done a lifetime+ (6000 odd years) of unpacking his identity and detaching from his toxic family of origin (Heaven and then the "found" family of Hell). He started to differentiate from Heaven first by reveling in the assigned role of the outcast - being Unforgivable. Because if you are told long enough that you are the Bad One, you will start to believe it, internalize it. But that is only a reactionary identity, not a whole one.

So In GO S1, we see Crowley recognizing his own growth away from even his assigned role. He doesn't identify with Hell anymore than he identifies with Heaven because they both want him to stay quietly and obediently in a box. Whereas all that time around humans, with all our complexities and gray areas, has (I think) helped him realize that boxes just don't work. Obviously his ability to be completely head over heels for Aziraphale has also played a part in this.

With Az, Crowley gets to be the Savior - a roleplay they both clearly enjoy. Crowley gets to be covertly "good" as is still part of his nature. But goodness does not define him and it's very important to him that this remain true. Being "good" is for Angels and the resentment toward Heaven is an unhealed wound. He also gets to roleplay "tempting" Az in a safe, controlled way - since we all know Az wants to be tempted anyway. Through their relationship, Crowley gets to be more fully himself than anywhere else.

Aziraphale reaps this benefit, as well, but he is far less aware of it (on the surface). Because Aziraphale was never cast out, he is still living with the comfortable level of denial regarding the toxicity of his Family of Origin (Heaven). Az still harbors hope that things can be changed for the better, that the people in charge (caretakers) are operating from a place of fundamental Good. Az is the adult who seems to function highly on the outside but is always falling apart within because they still feel that they *do* have to fit neatly into the "boxes" Crowley long ago eschewed.

Azriaphale is a ball of walking Anxiety and Perfectionism because he is still so enmeshed with the exalted expectations of his Family of Origin. He can only "rebel" in secret for the most part. Good Omens 1 is a major moment of growth for him - the first open act of rebellion against the Family. He is able to do so because Crowley has his back (like a supportive partner) and, I believe, at least in part because Gabriel has been such a bully that Az reaches a breaking point with it in that moment. I'm sure it helps that they get to save actual children from harm.

But one big moment of rebellion doesn't mean the cycles of a thousand lifetimes will be automatically broken. Az does well enough with being an outcast of Heaven when it means the bullying and expectations on him are finally relaxed but as we see by his responses to the Angelic visits all through S2, he hasn't truly severed his feeling of responsibility toward the Family (Heaven).

When a major Caretaker (Metatron) steps in to offer Az everything he has never hoped to dream, of course he can only see it as essential. He has never had to process a full break from the Family like Crowley so he truly cannot understand where Crowley is in his emotional journey. Az has basically just had his wounded inner child told that Mummy and Daddy not only wanted and loved him all along but that they now want to give him the respect he never got before.

And Az truly wants to believe this illusion because it fulfills every emotional wounds that was still open within him. Hence why he also lets himself believe that he can be the one who *does* make a difference in Heaven. He wants to genuinely believe that he can bring Crowley back into the Family - where they can both be blissfully loved and accepted. To Az, it's the opportunity to stop hiding and rebelling in secret. To be able to offer Crowley what Az sees as the dearest gift anyone could bestow: Redemption.

Crowley, having seen the two of them as being in far more similar places, emotionally, is blindsided by this. Crowley no longer sees Heaven's acceptance as a positive. He knows how cruel and unjust the Family can be - and has been to him for centuries. He cannot, for the life of him, understand why Az does NOT see it. And Az offering him a return to Heaven is salt in the wound of "you're not good enough as you are." Crowley feels that the only person who has ever felt safe in his existence is suddenly telling him that everything he has worked to be, the emotional mountain he has climbed to be *himself* is worth less than reverting back to the being he was *before* he did all the work.

What Az sees as opportunity for unity, for fulfilling the childish dreams of being "accepted" by their Family of Origin, Crowley sees as a fundamental rejection of himself.

Maybe all of this was obvious and I may have been off about a few things - haven't watched S1 one in about a year. But this was my overall impression and I needed to get it out of my system. Not beta'd or proofread.

Thank you to anyone who actually bothers to read all of this XD

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desultory-novice · 1 year

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I love Elfilin but I also love reading people critiquing Elfy?! ...Is that weird? Anyway, this thought was brought to you by @camachine‘s Hottest Take Elfilin Rant you can find here. (Which also contains lovely breakdowns of several other characters I love!) I was going to reblog but I didn’t want to speak over the original post!

So, my own take on Elfy being bland:

The reason I love reading Elfy critique is that I generally agree with all of it. Now, this is very HC on my part, but I’m very fond of the interpretation that Elfilin's "missing personality" can be attributed to "Elfilin is fundamentally broken as a person because they are (the very small amount) that was good that had been ejected from Elfilis's soul so they only know how to be generically good."

In that sense, I find them a delightful little Stepford Smiler.

Something scary going on? Sorry, Elfilis kept all the fear. People I should probably be upset at? Elfilis has all the anger too. Elfilin's reactions are frozen at the surface level because Elfilin is only 10%~ish percent of the whole. They were ejected right as things were going from bad to indescribable.

The one time Elfilin shows anger and then sadness (angrily helping to ram the Kirby-truck into Elfilis and crying a tearful goodbye before sealing the rift) is after they've been absorbed in the Fecto-goo for a while. They got to remember what it was like to be whole with Elfilis again...and I get the feeling, based on that anger, Elfy didn’t like it very much. (Which is itself FASCINATING. The “good twin” gets a taste of their other-half’s cauldron of negative emotions and decides they don’t like the incarnation of everything they’re missing? Ohoho...)

I like to imagine that, post-canon Elfy and especially post-True Arena Elfy is going to have a lot of not-very-fun-things to process in the aftermath. Not just on account of inheriting Elfilis's m-M-m-M-maSsiVe T-t-T-t-T-trAuMa but dealing with slowly becoming whole with the everything else they rejected previously. That being the rest of them.

"...Oh, huh. I don't find this fun for some reason."

"Why am I getting upset? This never upset me before..."

So, yes. I adore Elfilin but because they’re one half of a whole, I think they are kind of shallow if you don’t take Elfilis and what Elfilin is in regard to Elfilis into account. (They are super cute though and I am not immune to that.) Elfilin is the unpainted part of a watercolor picture. They are nothing alone and informed by what their removal tells you about the picture.

I suppose in that sense, my own Elfilin Hot Take is that I think it’s a little unfair when people overwoobify Elfilis as if they can be like, talked down (1) or made into a friend separate from Elfilin. Elfilin IS the friend part of Elfilis. I like it when Elfilis’ character is as informed by the loss of Elfilin as Elfilin is by the loss of Elfilis.

(1) I think losing the boss fight and THEN deciding their next step would be to obliterate two different planets and all life on both just because they wanted to destroy Kirby (and this is ignoring things like brainwashing a person for years and deceiving and manipulating their whole family, then fragmenting their soul out of anger and also enslaving hundreds of Waddle Dees without batting an eye) made it pretty clear that Elfilis planned to destroy everything around them just to win. It’s worse than fighting till their last breath, like Sectonia did. It’s putting countless other people in their path on the way out. Though I suppose it’s possible if Elfy regained anger and sadness from being absorbed into Elfilis, Elfilis might potentially have some drip-off from Elfy’s pure, unsaturated goodness?

#Kirby #Elfilin #Elfilis #Fecto Elfilis #Kirby and the Forgotten Land #Not a debate btw #I support everyone's feelings on the geminis (lol)#My love of them is mostly HC anyway!#Dess Text Post

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quillyfied · 14 hours

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Alright, this is mostly a reaction post to Helluva Boss s2e8: Full Moon, but since I’ve watched the episode three times now and have been thinking about it for the better part of the day…more cerebral than a true reaction, I guess. And not chronological, either; this is divided into two sections, Plot and Feels. Please accept this wild spilling of my guts on this, my first episode since I found the show in February. (Obviously spoilers for Full Moon, but also for Hazbin Hotel.)

First things first: for anyone who hated the CHERUB/DHORKS plot this episode specifically because it distracted from the Stolitz trainwreck, you’re valid, but also, this is QUIET UNDERSTATED HUGE BACKGROUND PLOT CALLING, something that’s been building since s1e3: Spring Broken AT LEAST, and it’s MASSIVELY IMPORTANT, OKAY. I am losing my mind over all the foreshadowing and implications here, folks. And that little interaction between Collin and the rest of CHERUB, where they’re trying to justify their actions and he goes “I don’t think that’s how that works.” GET IT BC ACCORDING TO HAZBIN HOTEL NOBODY KNOWS HOW ANYONE GETS INTO HEAVEN. GET IT. GET IT.

ANYWAY.

My ongoing “IMP and Stolas are in deep legal shit” theory, which I need to condense into one post or tag or something to point at bc there’s too much evidence stacked up now to just summarize what I mean, gets not just more fodder in the form of DHORKS giving CHERUB mech suits that LOOK LIKE IMP, but Stolas outright saying Blitzo can now go about his business WITHOUT BREAKING DEMON LAW. We know that there’s a trial of sorts near the end of the season (or I’m guessing it’s at the end; I thought the fight sequence here was going to be during Mastermind so I’m already wrong on that count), we know Stolas appears to be in some real trouble, and now knowing that Blitzo and IMP are operating on Earth under Ozzie’s jurisdiction, there’s now more at stake for their shenanigans to drag Ozzie into some actual legal shit, not just general classist asshattery for dating an imp. From what we can tell from the trailer it seems like post-crystal IMP is at least trying to go more incognito, though all we have to go on is snapshots from Ghostfuckers, but IMP’s general indiscretion is going to backfire very badly on them, on Stolas, and now maybe even on Ozzie, and I am RABID FOR IT OKAY. CONSEQUENCES?? IN MY SILLY DARK MURDER COMEDY??? UNEXPECTED BUT PLEASE DO EXPLORE THEM.

Also, the sheer horror of DHORKS having a PRIEST ARMY?? The fact that they sent some kids through the portal, that they got EVISCERATED by EYED TENTACLES, and they AREN’T EVEN SURE HELL IS WHERE THEY WOUND UP?? JUST POUR THE FERTILIZER ON MY “ROO EXISTS ON A BOTTOM LEVEL OF REALITY SOMEWHERE AND IS GROWING MORE POWERFUL (PROBABLY THANKS TO THE EXTERMINATIONS)” THEORY, IT’S GROWING LIKE WEEDS. And beyond that, even if this scene doesn’t have more cosmic implications (it does look me in my eyes IT DOES), the basic surface-level plot issues that are going to come from a HUMAN ARMY looking to WIPE OUT HELL is bad enough. But this show isn’t Hazbin Hotel. The stakes aren’t going to wind up being that cosmic and fundamental to existence. If the priest army ever actually makes it to Hell, I’ll be very surprised. What will NOT surprise me is Blitzo facing consequences for his recklessness and everyone he dragged into it with him, because surprisingly real consequences for silly shenanigans has really started to become something I expect from this show as it grows, and I am being FED, alright. Also I’m going full Charlie Day with the corkboard now, I’m aware of that, but I need to get all of this out of the way so I can start to examine the blood spatter of my exploded heart thanks to Stolas and Blitzo.

Because Moxxie says that business is going well for them right now. IMP follows Blitzo to make sure he’s not going to fuck up their meal ticket. IMP is making a MESS of downtown Lust because CHERUBS ARE IN HELL. ANGELIC BEINGS ARE IN HELL. AND ALSO YEAH HOW IN HECK DOES CHERUB KNOW ABOUT EXORCISTS?? Thought they were supposed to be a secret in Heaven. So. Throws the timing of this into question, really. Unless Exorcists are a known category of angel, but their exact duties are unknown, which is likely tbh. But again ANGELS IN HELL AND NOT IN PRIDE GOING AFTER SINNERS, BUT IN LUST GOING AFTER HELLBORN. LIKE. THIS SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY BIG DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT ACTUALLY. Y’know. If it wasn’t just cherubs and imps and anybody actually cared outside of the massive property damage. The crystal is already registered to Blitzo at this point, even if he doesn’t have it yet…look I’m gonna be spinning my wheels about this for a while, let me have this.

(…why do they have Mothman in a demonic containment cell.)

(and something with a lot of tentacles)

(how many cryptids are in this place??? LET THEM OUT)

Now where in the several planes of reality did they get an extradimensional portal generator? Like, I know that of all things THIS is probably not gonna get explained and I’m okay with that, but I’m deeply curious about how they developed this technology. Still holding to my theory that Stolas’ summoning of himself might have had something to do with it, but for now it’s unclear.

Also the American-centrism of it all. The layers of fourth-wall sarcasm are STIFLING.

And Collin. I see your continued reluctance and horror. I hope you get your vindication. Though it is interesting that even though he’s clearly scared out of his mind, he does still manage to hurt Loona. He had a clear shot on Blitzo but hesitates. He is dragging his feet every inch he can muster in his Moxxie suit. He can’t even fly like the other two can. Collin is a sore thumb in about every way he can be during this episode. I want that payoff. I want it bad.

You know what else I want bad? An explanation of what Cherub Towne and Heaven in general is really like, if these dweebs don’t know what sex shops or a club is. Sex shop, I kinda get, given their and Vaggie’s reaction to BDMS gear, Heaven being prudish seems like a fair assumption to make. But. Heaven doesn’t have CLUBS? And Adam was OKAY WITH THAT?? Boggles the mind, I tell you. Boggles.

(…maybe it was just a budget issue but I do wonder at how none of the Cherubs had gold blood anywhere. Plenty of bruises, but Moxxie and Millie and Loona all got stabbed, shot, or bruised enough to show plenty of black blood. CHERUB got their asses kicked just as hard, but no gold blood? Could be time and budget issues. Could be…something else. I’ve got my eye on you, Helluva Boss.)

Because I think I’m more or less done now…and it’s time to get to the main event:

I have been purposely avoiding any footage or sound of the duet until this moment. And I am SO GLAD I DID, because When I See Him Tonight is a TREASURE, a MASTER CLASS in both recap and foreshadowing. Because it’s the summary of Everything Wrong Up Until This Point, and a blueprint for How It Will Go Wrong Shortly. Because, I want to point this out up front: nothing that happens in this episode between Blitzo and Stolas is a surprise. Nothing said, nothing done—none of this is a surprise. To us. The audience. The ones not just watching them both go through this, but chewing the plot down to the marrow for meaning, interpreting based on our understanding of the characters and world, extrapolating, iterating, writing so many of our own theories and fics about how this moment would go that the fact that it plays out pretty much true to the tone we were predicting makes it all the more satisfying. Or it does for me, anyway; let me not accidentally speak for more than just myself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s such a RELIEF, honestly. It’s a necessary breaking down, burning away what wasn’t working and was actively hurting them both to start the hard work of rebuilding. THIS has been building since s1e1, THIS has been the emotional heart of the show, and watching it reach a breaking point is DELICIOUS.

The buildup is so perfect, too: Blitzo is having a good day. Blitzo NEVER has good days. Blitzo’s good days get dunked straight into the toilet, either because of his own actions or because the universe (or his subconscious) can’t let him have nice things. Juxtapose that with Stolas’ nerves, the knowing that he’s going to do something that will change the nature of their relationship, and while we know it’s necessary, Blitzo making the active choice to ignore the storm he can feel coming in favor of fixing it with sex (GREAT sex, mind, sex that he has every intention of making good for both of them; I want to stress very much that while Stolas and Blitzo are ill-equipped to talk to each other in emotionally vulnerable ways, their sexual compatibility appears to be solid as ever, so good for them)…it just makes Stolas’ anxiety (AND APPARENTLY NOT BEING ON HIS MEDS SOMEONE HELP THIS BIRD MAN) that much more sharp in comparison. It is a perfect teeing up of a golf shot that’s going straight through someone’s windows and causing thousands of dollars in property damage.

…and dear sweet Loona, who isn’t exactly wrong but isn’t exactly right either, pouring gasoline on this situation and activating Blitzo’s already-awakened anxiety about his and Stolas’ relationship is just. Mwah. Perfect. Cherry on top of this shit sundae. The last perfect condition to make this a supercell feels tornado. LET’S DO THIS.

(Side note but exactly how much money did Blitzo spend on his bag of tricks because YOWZA, does he go throwing around a sack about as big as the one he tossed down to his dad full of stolen stuff back in s2e1.)

HEY BLITZO AND FIZZ FRIENDSHIP HANG ON LET ME BASK. Especially at how effortlessly flirty and touchy they are with each other, that’s just a really nice touch for both of them (pun not intended). Also the fact that Blitzo is VERY CONFIDENT that Stolas is into the Dragon Driller 5000 raises some…questions. I will file them along with the questions I have about Stolas’ lack of reaction to getting his leg snapped and then stabbed in Western Energy.

(CLOACA MENTION)

Right off the bat the tension in this scene is unbearable. There’s the real-world tension of having waited for this moment for literal months. There’s the in-universe tension of Stolas being nervous about what he’s about to do. There’s the in-universe tension of Blitzo hoping things just go back to normal and being excited about that. There’s the dramatic irony of the audience knowing this is about to fall to shit and neither of these chuckleheads being fully aware of what exactly the other guy is about to do, compounding with the underlying cracks that they are BOTH feeling in their relationship and are BOTH very insecure about. But there’s a special sort of pain in seeing Blitzo so excited and trying so hard to get Stolas excited too and it just not working, because it’s the exact opposite of their usual dynamic. The script has flipped, for some reason.

For SOME reason. Ha. As if the miscommunication horse wasn’t galloping as fast as she could FROM THE START OF THE EPISODE.

I want to stress here that this mess of a situation that Blitzo and Stolas are in doesn’t have fault or blame in it. Or, rather, it’s a mutually-created tar pit of both of their mistakes and assumptions and hurts. They’re BOTH at fault, they are BOTH to blame, and in a way, neither of them are, either. This is the ugly truth of damage scraping damage: more often than not…it causes MORE damage. Blitzo and Stolas could be really good for each other, but they have to clear away the blockages first, and that can be really painful, especially when Blitzo’s self-hatred and Stolas’ self-hatred causes them both to misinterpret each other in the worst possible ways that reinforces those self-hatreds. The ways that this show hammers home how destructive self-hatred can be is COMING FOR MY ASS, OKAY. I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT IT THAT I’M NOT SURE I CAN REALLY TALK ABOUT IT COHERENTLY.

Look, so many people are going to say it so much better, are going to analyze the ways that Stolas and Blitzo are talking past each other, but saying what they individually need to in order to start that necessary brush fire is what we all knew was coming. Stolitz isn’t going to get together this season, not with how much work they both need to put into themselves first. Blitzo has to want to be better for HIMSELF, not just for Stolas, not just for Loona, not just for all the friends he has and once had. Stolas has to learn who HE is, not as a parent or a husband or a lover, but as a person. The nuanced truth to “you can’t love someone until you love yourself” is “you accept the love you think you deserve,” and right now neither one of these poor bitches is in a place to accept the love they want to give each other. Blitzo isn’t even in a place to acknowledge that what HE feels is love, let alone that what STOLAS feels is love. He’s still in a world where his love spells disaster for everyone close to him. Reconciling with Fizz has started the hard work of dismantling that view of himself, but Blitzo isn’t ready yet, and he needs time to think and process. Stolas is so ready to begin his life at last that it doesn’t occur to him that Blitzo hasn’t been really hearing him or understanding his overtures and teasing (or that his overtures and teasing have often been classist AF, reinforcing Blitzo’s belief in Stolas’ view of him as a toy and not a person). I think given time, maybe what they’ve each been saying to each other in this scene will hit. But in the moment, oh my WORD it's a trash fire, the prophecy of the duet come to pass in glorious HD.

Side note to talk about how it looks like everything in Stolas’ house is covered, as if Stolas is leaving: HEY WTF??? Like on the one hand oh my LORD ABOVE, the parallels of Stolas covering himself up in portraits but leaving Via uncovered to Blitzo scribbling himself out of pictures. On the other hand, WHERE IS HE GOING?? Like. Drop cloths are used to keep the dust off of things when going on a trip, or leaving for a long time, or just not using that wing of the house anymore, but they’re walking through what is directly outside of Stolas’ room (and coming to stop at the very chandelier where they played as children, KILL ME). Why does it feel like Stolas was already leaving even before this rupture? Why is this teaming up with Loona’s observation that Stolas must be getting bored of Blitzo to punch me repeatedly in the gut? And does this have anything to do with the upcoming trial and what very much appears to be Andrealphus about to attack Blitzo and Stolas outside of his house? (I’m now doubting if it was Andrealphus’ house, or if he just froze over Stolas’ palace to take as his own, because the cobblestone pattern looks similar to what’s outside of Stolas’ place and Andrealphus’ Let It Go castle doesn’t appear to have the same in the brief shot we get of it I AM GOING INSANE.)

…I do love, though, how even though Blitzo is aggressive about it, he DOES want to keep talking it out, he just needs time to process. Stolas needs space to grieve, to be hurt without being seen. They’re both seeing it as the other guy just not taking them seriously, not wanting them around, how the FUCK can these two morons want the same thing but be so wrong about each other at the same time (I know, I know why, I watch the show, I’m just in despair right now). I don’t think Apology Tour is going to fix everything, not by a long shot, but if it can get these two to at least understand each other enough to realize that neither of them was actually being rejected…it’s a tall order, Viv, but I believe in your team. And this certainly explains why Stolas would have Bitch Supreme expressions at Blitzo approaching him after this, assuming Short Robe Stolas is in Apology Tour (I am on my hands and knees begging PLEASE); his feelings were mocked, the depths of his misconceptions were revealed, and his boundaries were pushed when he tried to escape. Though why Blitzo is coming for Stolas after this…can’t quite say, but it might have something to do with why IMP is on the run (unless that’s in early Ghostfuckers, which it could be, but hOW LONG IS THAT EPISODE GONNA BE, SAKES ALIVE). Because Blitzo was sexually rebuffed, given a consolation prize after being discarded, and subjected to way too much honesty without any time to prepare or process (or any immediate violence to keep his adrenaline up so he has no choice but to process, or whatever magic happened with Fizz), then dumped after spilling his vitriolic guts in an attempt to talk it out.

THEY. ARE. A. GOD. DAMNED. MESS.

And I am SO looking forward to the cleanup :P

#helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #quilly's hellaverse theories #sort of #more covering a base than anything tbh

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moltengoldveins · 2 months

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That TCU post…that is truly one of, if not the greatest thing I’ve ever seen come out of this fandom. I tried my own hand a while back at writing “the dsmp but taken seriously”; gave it a name and a playlist but didn’t really write much before I went back to my other projects. If you ever have the motivation to do more with that outline I’d be honored to be a co-writer or help out in any way, or if you want you could just use my title as a name for the series: A Ballad of Broken Dreams.

holy crap op this is so sweet. Thank you so much. I’m… wow ok. That. Wow. Thank you. That’s legitimately so kind and I’m so glad you enjoyed it XD. Id also Love to see your playlist and your thoughts behind the songs if you’re down?! That sounds awesome :D

funnily enough, I’ve had a drafted outline for this heccin thing running around in my head since the Butcher Army arc. Right around when SAD-ist dropped her animatic, I simultaneously realized ‘oh wow, I Adore this concept’ and ‘oh wow, I Highly doubt the CCs are gonna manage to do this the way I’d want to see it’ and lo and behold: I was correct. So painfully correct. (There were also People Involved whom I had Really Bad Feelings About from very early on that, sure enough, turned out to be exactly what i thought they were, rip) So the Emduo prequels, Icarus heccin Dying, and the end of Axe of Peace have been around for Ages.

I’d honestly love to do more with this concept, (i am designing movie posters as we speak) but due to Chronic Illness Pog I’m in a rather unstable financial situation? And don’t have a ton of free time for art. Any big projects are gonna take a While, or id need to find a way to use it or something adjacent to fund, y’know, Rent. That being said, I’m definitely writing the emduo prequels, both as movie scripts and as novels, as those are the films focused on, yknow, My Bois. I also think it’d be hilarious to release the novels and then the scripts and watch people Loose Their Minds over the ‘inaccurate adaptation >>:(‘

I’d absolutely love to work with other people in the fandom on this stuff, though I’ve never been the best at directly co-writing (my writing method and style is painfully specific (ie needlessly poetic) and I’m very autistic: I don’t like it when people touch that Specific Thing) but literally anything else? Im open ears. I love collabs.

and finally, I adore your name for the series, (excellent word choice there /srs, it fits perfectly with the symbolism of the whole story) and I think it works really Really well for the actual DSMP, but if I’m entirely honest… I’m not sure it fits the TCU? Like genuinely I’m so grateful for the suggestion, I love when people offer ideas and bounce things around like that. But one of the main things I tried to do with this concept was work out how the story could actually end Well. A deep-seated belief in the good-but-fallen nature of man, the importance of hope, and the inevitability of redemption kinda comes part and parcel with the whole Being-A-Christian Thing (if it doesn’t, you’re missing the Whole Point Of The Bible) and while the actual DSMP may have ended in broken dreams… this doesn’t. That was my first thought when writing that outline: This Is Going To End Well. Not for wish-fulfillment reasons, not because I’m naive or I don’t like bad endings, but because fundamentally, everything sad is a lie, and if the story has ended in tragedy, it hasn’t ended yet.

If I had to pick a series name now, I’m not sure what I’d pick. A part of me balks at referencing anything popularized by Our Local Redacted, but ‘unfinished symphony’ wasn’t his in the first place, it was from Hamilton. “The Finished Symphony” has a cool ring to it? I dunno. If anyone else has ideas please feel free to toss them in here aight, I’m not settling on anything for a While.

Anyways, thanks for Ted talking with me, drink water 💜

#TCU #Sure hope that tag isn’t already used for anything horrible I don’t know about XD #Technoblade Cinematic Universe #Asks #I’ve never really answered an ask before this is new and exciting #Op sorry for co-opting your ask to rant about the goodness of life and the importance of redemption for a sec there #Well I’m not Sorry sorry but you get my meaning XD #technoblade #dsmp #dsmp au #antarctic empire #emduo

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