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xjulixred45x · 1 year

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Arthur Pendragon/King of Chaos X Reader

I inadvertently deleted the request for this scenario, so here is a short version of it, Arthur with a wife(reader) who has a dangerous magic, consequently, makes her very vulnerable.

Thanks @ultravioletqueen for the order! I've been wanting to write about Arthur for a long time, although I like almost everything in 4KotA (except Loli Guinevere, please take that out).

Character: Arthur Pendragon/King of Chaos

Genre: Headcannons

reader: female

Warnings: illness (?something like that), sick/weak reader, Arthur himself is a warning now, spoilers for the four knights of the apocalypse manga, mainly Fluff.

There are two ways in which you two could have met (even if it ends in the same scenario).

The first (and the most probable) is that You both met after the anime (that is, in 4kota) and the second (less likely) is that you met during the series, but the first possibility will be used mainly as a reference (apart from the fact that there Arthur is already an adult).

Your kingdom became one of Camelot's greatest allies after the holy war, they were fed up with the other races doing what they wanted with their lives, so they provided Arthur with all the necessary support (be it ballistic or magical, spreading their ideas, etc.).

Thanks to this they gained a certain level in the Camelot hierarchy, and that is where you, the princess of said kingdom, come in.

For as long as you can remember you never knew how to control your magic well, no matter how hard you tried to measure it or take it out, or it was something very small or it almost killed someone (or you), so you decided better to just contain your magic and hope that nothing will happen.

Spoiler, something happened.

And it is that your body could hardly handle the intensity of your own magic while you were growing up, it was like having a container that was too small, and when you tried to release all that pressure you almost killed half of the curt.

As a consequence you were weak all the time from the force you had to exert to prevent the magic from coming out and it still did sometimes, you were so depressed about it all.

And your parents too, they decided to take a chance and use their connection to the king of chaos and find out if there was something, anything, to help you.

Arthur was interested to see this new type of unknown and apparently powerful magic, besides, your kingdom would not be of much use without an heir, so he agrees to see you and try to help you.

Even so, he doesn't admit it, the first time he saw you he felt sympathy for you, having all that potential that at the same time destroys your conscience, he understood it and was willing to see what he could do.

The first few days he came I was accompanied by Merlin, who did a few tests and Arthur made sure that the energy waves of your magic will not affect them.

While Merlin was doing her thing, he would walk around your room/tower and talk to you, quite basic at first, but as you went, showing more of your side without pain, he became friendlier, more sincere.

There were times when he only came to keep you company (because very few people came close for fear of your magic) and in general he tried to cheer you up and so that you did not feel so isolated, it was a breath of fresh air for you, and for him.

Someone so innocent wouldn't have to go through all that physical and emotional pain, It motivated him in a certain way, wanting to change the world for people like you.

After a few months Merlin already knew what you had and how to help you, Arthur was surprisingly happy, considering that at first it was just a means to gain more sympathy, now he felt very comfortable with you and it definitely didn't go unnoticed.

Let's just say what Merlin made was an amulet that drains your magic enough to finally be able to live your life in peace, the happiness with which you ran to hug your parents fearlessly for the first time in god knows how long was just adorable.

It was the moment he realized he was in love.

Going directly to when You two are married, I think Arthur would be very cautious with those who talk to you, many people will see the potential of your magician to be destructive and will want to have her-have you as a weapon, which for Arthur is obviously a big NO.

you are not a weapon, you are his wife, the queen of Camelot.

He will not let you be disrespected by treating you like an object.

He sees you with a Real respect that many people don't show him (with one hand and you have plenty of fingers) but still he can't help but want to protect yourself from everything.

Very affectionate behind closed doors or alone, hugs, kisses, snuggling, everything. If you are the one who initiates the affection it is even better, you will stay trapped in his arms until you ask him enough to leave you or until he has to attend to some real business.

You're just like his favorite stuffed animal, especially if he sleeps with you.

He wants to keep away from everything shady about the "everlasting kingdom" plan, he would be really sad if you come to be afraid of him or even suffer because of him, he sees you as a fragile spirit and he is so afraid of crushing you with the truth.

Usually having those kinds of thoughts just makes me clingier than usual, wanting hugs or saying "I love you" almost out of the blue.

I imagine that there are days when Merlin has to extract the magic accumulated in the amulet, so your pain can return either very slightly or terribly, depending on the day.

In those situations, you are practically forbidden to move or make a basic effort, seeing you in pain overcomes it, so he expects to have it attached to you during those days.

The only thing I'd let you do for yourself on those days would probably be going to the bathroom (no kidding).

All his knights know how to bow to you, not only the heiress of one of his main allies, but also the king's wife, no one is foolish enough to try to hurt you.

Sometimes he'll just sit on his throne with you on his lap telling you about his day (excluding the bloody parts) and probably because of this you know even more about the current situation than many of his trusted knights.

It's slowly turning you into a spoiled person, you literally just have to mention something you slightly liked and almost the next day you have it.

He definitely wants a family, he is a king after all, he needs an heir, but he will wait until you are ready both physically and mentally for that.

For what happens in the manga, you most likely also know about the knights of the apocalypse and vice versa, so just as a precaution Arthur would not let you leave Camelot until he has everything under control with his knights.

When he returns from his first run-in with the knights of the apocalypse, you expected anything but a radiant Arthur, but he just wanted to go to sleep with you (and maybe more than just sleep).

(probably with the residue of your magic Merlin is planning something sinister bastard, I'll leave that to interpretation).

As long as Arthur knows you're safe, happy, and healthy, he can handle anything.

#arthur 4kota #4 knights of the apocalypse #4kota #four knights of the apocalypse #arthur nnt #arthur pendragon #fem reader #anime fluff

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glass-frogs-and-dragons · 9 months

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Mercenary on the run

Gwaincelot week Day 3- linger, friends with benefits, "you matter to me"

When people thought of Gwaine and Lancelot, they thought of a golden-hearted scoundrel and the kindest and most Noble man one could ever meet respectively. Gwaine was flirty, flighty, careless and unbothered, and yet for some unknown reason, Lancelot hung around him still. Nobody knew why, but people assumed that Lancelot would be a good influence on Gwaine and Gwaine would make Lancelot less uptight. They could not be more wrong.

There was a bond there that nobody expected, or rather understood; a secrecy that rivaled even Merlin's loomed around the two men. So, of course, their perfect little dynamic had to be broken somehow.

"We heard, King Arthur, that a known mercenary was hiding in your kingdom, posing as a knight."

The knights of Camelot, who had been summoned but asked to wait outside the throne room at the specific request of the visiting king and the royal entourage, all turned to look at each other with worry bleeding into their gazes. They all knew at least a little about each other's pasts and deeds, and they were all eyeing Gwaine with both concern and protectiveness written all over their faces.

"We won't let anything happen to you, Gwaine. Don't worry," Leon began, determined, and Lancelot bit back a frustrated groan.

"You'll be safe, Gwaine. Stand behind me so they don't see you when they call us in and-"

Percival was cut off by Lancelot who, features schooled in a carefully neutral expression, had grabbed Gwaine's arm and pulled him to his side.

"I'll take him to Gaius'. We can just say he got hurt during training or something and we'll hide him in Merlin's room. It'll be safer."

Ignoring Gwaine's confused- and quite offended- look, Lancelot pretended to preen a little at the praise. After nodding at his friends, he clapped each of them on the shoulder and, without lingering for a single second, he grabbed Gwaine's hand instead and left.

"What the hell was that about?" Gwaine whisper-shouted angrily when he was sure they were out of earshot. "I know I'm not the mercenary they're looking for- I remember everyone that may have debts to settle with me."

"Listen, Gwaine. I know they're not looking for you. I know!" Lancelot snapped back, irritation évident in both his face and his voice. "They're looking for me!"

Gwaine's eyes widened, disbelief a clear picture on his face. Despite spending perhaps more time than any of the other knights with Lancelot and knowing definitely more of him than the other's did due to their arrangement, he hadn't really expected this. their conversations in bed hardly delved into their past, perhaps because they both were trying their damndest to keep the 'No strings' part of their arrangement intact. Not that either of them were being too successful but denial was all they had, so they would work with that.

No. Their conversations, always in hushed tones and breathless words, revolved around their current lives or their future. Never what they had done. So it came off as somewhat of a surprise to Gwaine that Lancelot had been not only a mercenary but a wanted one at that.

"Well, I always knew you weren't as much of a goody-two-shoes as everyone here paints you as," He smirked.

He earned a light smack on the shoulder for his troubles, but the nervous tension that Lancelot's body had been prisoner of had slowly dissipated and was replaced by weak chuckles.

"Thanks," Lancelot muttered.

"Not an issue, mate." Gwaine winked. "We have all done things we're not proud of."

Gwaine thought of his situation for a while and, assessing their situation, he quickly turned towards his chambers, then closed the door behind them.

"So," He began, more serious than anyone had heard him in a long time. "What's the plan? I'm sure Arthur will protect you, you're his best knight! But-"

"It all comes down to the other man's power," Lancelot nodded. "And I'm afraid it's not little."

Gwaine clasped his shoulder in sympathy. He knew how stubborn noble picks could be and was very familiar with the multiple ways they could fuck up one's life. Gwaine's chambers were in a relatively secluded place, where the throne room could be seen and heard but not the other way around; so Gwaine and Lancelot sat beside the window and listened.

"Why do you think one of my knights is-"

"I understand why you might be ashamed, King Arthur, as this proves how your decision to knight… commoners… May have not been the wisest,"

"Excuse me, how dare-"

"But you couldn't have known, my Lord, so fret not. This man is slippery and ruthless, and it would be very easy for him to infiltrate your court."

"I assure you-"

"Capturing this criminal, my Lord, would ensure peace between our kingdoms. He is vicious, efficient and heartless, and I can assure you that he'll be executed as soon as we step foot on my kingdom."

"None of my knights…"

"I know it may seem hard to believe, but my men will do the job just fine. They know how to deal with this scoundrel and… well… perhaps your knights would prefer to keep their memory of Lancelot alive as it is."

Silence filled both the throne room and Gwaine's chambers.

"Well, efficient is right," Gwaine whispered into Lancelot's ear.

The outraged shouts in the throne room fell deaf to Gwaine's ears, replaced fully by Lancelot's relieved chuckles.

"I'm… I'm going to have to leave for a while, Gwaine. Lay low until I deal with the problem and then… maybe return to Camelot. Arthur can't suffer because of this; it wouldn't be fair. He didn't know."

The thought of losing his friend (and nighttime partner) made his chest constrict in a weird way, but Gwaine thought nothing of it, deeming his friend’s escape more important.

“You can hide in my chambers for a while. There’s a corner in my closet with a crevice you can fit in and at night we could sneak out. I’ll deal with the fallout for you.”

Lancelot seemed to want to protest, but then Gwaine squeezed his hands, nothing more than earnest desire to help in his eyes, and his protests died out.

“Won’t people ask? About why you are covering for me.”

“Are you planning on coming back?”

Lancelot sighed, not wanting to meet Gwaine’s eyes.

“A lot has changed today… and a lot will change in the time I’m gone. I don’t know if I’ll be welcome even if I do want to come back, so… I don’t know. I’m not certain I will.”

Footsteps and a few harsh knocks interrupted them, so Gwaine shoved them both into his closet and closed the door behind them.

“Weren’t you meant to stay outside? To keep guard and distract them? What the he-”

Gwaine simply kissed the deadpan tone out of Lancelot’s mouth.

A few hours later, both of them emerged from the closet with their clothes slightly askew and flushed faces.

“Everyone will be asleep now. Let’s go,” Lancelot whispered, and Gwaine nodded behind him.

They browled down the empty, darkened halls until they reached the stables and Lancelot, with a cloak stolen from Gwaine’s closet wrapped around his frame, clasped Gwaine’s shoulder one last time.

“Thank you for this, really. You are the greatest friend I’ve had,” He smiled in an effort to wipe the sadness in his eyes away.

Gwaine’s heart got stuck in his throat. Logically, he knew that he should be urging Lancelot to leave, lest they were found by an oncoming patrol, but his voice seemingly refused to cooperate.

“I- I will miss you, Lance,” was the only thing he managed to say.

And then: “You matter to me. You matter to me a great deal.”

Had any onlooker been watching, they would have seen the fondness in Lancelot’s smile and the heartbreak in his eyes.

“You matter to me a great deal too, Gwaine. I hope I get to see you again.”

And, after pressing his forehead against Gwaine’s for a few brief moments, he climbed onto his horse and rode off.

#gwaincelot week #gwaincelot week 2023 #gwaine #lancelot #gwaine x lancelot #gwaincelot

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weakforarwen · 2 years

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I rewatched The Dark Tower for the Arwen/Gwen crumbs, and I noticed that, when Elyan finds Gwen in the room with the sword, she says Morgana spelled it to “protect” her. At this point, Gwen was already under Morgana’s control in some way, yet, she told her brother to save himself and cried for him when there was no one around to put on an act for. It’s safe to assume Gwen was genuinely aware of Elyan’s passing. So when was she lost for good? After the shock of his death passed? Was Gwen feeling so much pain she wanted to disappear? In the end, perhaps Gwen “chose” to let go of her last remaining thread of control.

It reminds me of TVD, when often a vampire chooses to “turn off” their “humanity switch” after they lose someone, and then need a huge emotional trigger to turn it back on. For example, when Elena’s brother died, she turned her emotions off, and only her best friend Matt nearly dying turned them back on. In Gwen’s case, her trigger was Arthur.

Perhaps a small part of Gwen no longer wanted to live after losing her remaining (biological) family, especially since Elyan died rescuing her. At her lowest point, she felt completely alone and “turned” to Morgana who had conditioned Gwen to think of her as her savior. Real Gwen was too weak to fight Morgana, and, deep down, just wanted an escape, so her resolve finally broke and Morgana was in.

Not even almost killing Arthur was enough to snap Gwen out of it though, maybe because he didn’t actually die. I said this before, but, imo (and I realize I’m trying to see logic where it may not exist), it was Gwen’s identity being found by Arthur that gave real Gwen an opening. Evil Gwen was afraid of Arthur. She was afraid of the power he had over her. When he started reminding her of their love for each other, Morgana’s hold on Gwen threatened to slip and real Gwen exploited that vulnerability. I kind of picture the real Gwen as trapped inside her own body, observing herself as an outsider.

Gwen tried to fight Morgana but wasn’t strong enough after her brother died (Morgana’s nightly visits probably had something to do with that too), until Arthur reminded her of the promise she made. She promised to marry Arthur with all her heart - because marriage is indeed a promise to love, cherish, respect, etc. your partner in sickness and in health, blah blah, ‘till death do us part. Gwen still had someone to live for, someone who loved her, and who she promised to love for the rest of her life - her remaining family - so she couldn’t let Morgana take him away from her. Arthur gave Gwen the strength to fight back. He believed in her ability do escape Morgana because he believed in the strength of her love for him (a bit similar to when Arthur’s love for Gwen broke his enchantment in season 2). The fact that Morgana hadn’t been in touch with Gwen for a day, and that evil Gwen had been poisoned, probably helped as well.

Unrelated, but Arthur only ever seems to get angry over Gwen. It was definitely hot when he was like “We walked around in a circle. We lost an entire day” , and slammed his sword on the ground in the Impenetrable Forest. Arthur looks very hot in season 5. I think it’s the hair. And Merlin beefed up a lot. Watching him in the early seasons, he looks so skinny.

Anyway, there really is no one more important to Arthur than Gwen, WBK.

#bbc merlin #bbc arwen #gwen pendragon #arthur pendragon #arwen #morgana #the dark tower commentary #with all my heart commentary #the dark tower #with all my heart

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none-ofthisnonsense · 2 months

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Merlin S2E11, “The Witch’s Quickening”

I am SO excited for this episode. The title is already amazing. And I’m weak for witches. Bring it on!

Okay so convoy with a Camelot knight. So far nothing out of the ordinary

MORDRED?? MORDRED IS WITH THESE PEOPLE?

So they’ve infiltrated Camelot. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool.

Merlin can hear them!

Oh I think he knows Morgana may have magic.

“A weapon powerful enough” looking at Mordred…

Okay but a crystal is definitely not the only thing in the vaults of Camelot. Incidentally there’s a dragon there too, waiting to be freed.

MORGANA DON’T GO ALONG WITH IT I’M HALF CONVINCED IT’S A TRAP

Merlin is going to look so foolish and for nothing

That music again…

Okay what the fuck does Morgana think Merlin thinks?

Merlin definitely knows what’s going on.

It’s being enraged at both Uther and Arthur time.

Oh Merlin has grown since the start of the series. I like this side of him. (And he’s asking the right questions!)

So Mordred and Morgana together = disaster

Morgana don’t be mean to Gwen she doesn’t deserve it

Oh so Mordred’s seen Merlin! Potentially.

Please don’t flirt with Morgana. Thank god she rejected him.

Merlin and Morgana having eye contact gives me life. And Morgana definitely knows they’re onto her.

They are SUCH siblings

FINALLY A RIDER TROTTING PROPERLY

THE FUCK DON’T KISS SOMEONE WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT

I’ve just realised how ironic it is for the Pendragon animal to be a dragon. (Though. PenDRAGON.)

They’ve chosen sides.

Merlin has the power.

Hey, Arthur? Maybe don’t give the crystal to Merlin? (I really love this episode’s Merlin portrayal.)

Oh suddenly I’m scared of Morgana.

Okay so that just happened. It’s officially war between Morgana and Uther.

Gwen cares for Morgana. And doesn’t know what happened. I wonder whose side she’s going to take. (I would say Morgana’s.)

Unrelated but I love Alvarr’s boots. (Though I’m weak for boots in general.)

Merlin knows.

Not sure the dragon talking to Merlin in his mind is a good sign.

#Merlin #bbc Merlin #Merlin s2 #Merlin s2e11 #the witch’s quickening #merlin liveblog

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bestjeanistmonster · 2 years

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Something I came up with for some odd reason:

- Elizabeth gets kidnapped and locked away in secret underground dungeon while wedding planning by the supreme deity.

- Her mother then shape-shifts into her daughter, effectively taking her place

- The supreme deity also puts Meliodas under some sort of hypnotic spell so he doesn’t notice anything wrong and does her bidding. Cuz let’s be real he’s known her and loved her for over 3,000 years, he definitely will notice if that’s not his Ellie

- SD Elizabeth is a fucking condescending snake, that acts all nice but is a low-key horrible person.

- And Meliodas is weirdly spacey, he keeps getting migraines often, he doesn’t seem to notice Elizabeth acting differently and his eyes glaze over when talking to or about Elizabeth, he just silently nods his head in agreement no other witty comments like he usually had

- Even Zeldris is like, you ok bro

- Everyone thinks that it’s just wedding nerves so they leave it alone, except for the sins that is. Merlin is still with Arthur doing whatever

- While trying to expose this bitch for her shit they make everyone mad at them and Meliodas uninvites them from the wedding

- SD Elizabeth then transports them to the same prison that the real Elizabeth is when no one else is in the room

- So they break out with the real Elizabeth on the way to crash her own wedding

- Cue This day Aria from mlp:

https://youtu.be/UzsxfO7dBlA

youtube

- They crash the wedding, seconds before Meliodas can say “I do” (he do be completely out of it, he can’t even register what’s going on right now, his eyes are blank showing no thoughts and glowing faintly green, but he has green eyes so it’s not that noticeable)

- Elizabeth, 102% done with this bullshit, accuses SD Elizabeth of replacing her, taking over Meliodas’s mind and for actually being her mother.

- This girl is swearing and everything, cuz looking at Meliodas standing next to this bitch like he’s her property, like he’s some sort of object while he just stands there completely out of it is starting to piss her off.

- Also exposing that she was literally feeding off Meliodas’s power and strength

- Que SD Elizabeth vs the seven deadly sins (minus Meliodas, who Hawk is trying to snap out of his trance and is chained up in magical binding to keep him from fighting if he does manage to break the spell)

- they manage to get her to retreat, but Meliodas is still in a trance and shows no sign of waking up, he is looking extremely pale and weak, literally swaying at his feet

- Que true love’s kiss saving him, and snapping him out of it, he immediately collapses in Elizabeth’s arms. He doesn’t rlly know what’s happening right now like :why the wedding already seems to be over for some reason, why the venue looks trashed, why Elizabeth looks like she’s gone through hell and about to cry

- They hug each other tightly, there are tears

- They decide to put the wedding on hold for now, and discuss how to defeat the supreme deity over wedding cake

- They debrief Meliodas on what happened, he’s absolutely livid

- Zeldris and Gelda would late arrive with Mead, cuz Mead had lost the rings so they quietly escaped the wedding to track them down. They are shocked to see that everything’s gone to crap in the 15 minutes they were gone

#nanatsu no taizai #seven deadly sins #sds anime #nnt #meliodas #sds #melizabeth #elizabeth liones #sds elizabeth #nnt manga #Youtube

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

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Did You Know?

Prompt: the merlin fic you wrote with a crying arthur who didn't realize he had a hand in normalizing merlin to physical pain/punishment is HEARTBREAKING and i couldn't help but think while reading it that merlin may have just assumed that the knights and arthur //knew// visting knights were handsy w him and just didnt care, like he just thought it was normal and they would expect nothing less. anyway if u wanna write something that has that kind of idea/vibe i'd be delighted to read it! love u <3

Ahh yes more h/c here we go

Read on Ao3 Part 2

Warnings: visiting nobles and knights are dicks. implied/referenced rape/non-con and abuse NOTHING EXPLICIT

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic I don’t care

Word Count: 3031

Merlin is…confused.

He’s doing his job as a servant—not that he’s begrudging his position that much, destiny is destiny, after all—and putting up with all the things that servants are supposed to put up with.

The learning curve was very steep, don’t get him wrong. Coming from Ealdor, where the only authority figure he absolutely had to listen to was his mum, and straight into Camelot’s complex authority structure with rules and consequences and all the messy trappings of those horrid make-believes he and Will used to do when they were little boys. Hell, he ended his first full day in Camelot arrested, relying only on Gaius’s social powers in court to get him released. He’s not exactly a beacon of well-mannerisms.

So if it took him a while to get used to the type of work Arthur was going to have him do, that’s fine! He’s never had to put armor on anyone before, let alone the Crown Prince, who expected him to do all that and then some. He’s never known how to clean shiny pieces of metal that just serve to attract more attention than they’re worth, they never had shiny pieces of metal other than coin. And he’s certainly never known how to dodge swords being swung at his head. Never.

It wasn’t expected—no, it wasn’t, you prat—for him to be able to shrug on all these new responsibilities, even if he had been trained as a servant, because he’s never done them before. Thank the gods for Gwen, honestly, who was more than happy to make sure he at least knew how to hold a sword without cutting himself.

“Here’s the next one,” she’d called, handing him the next training sword from the batch, “now, try again.”

“This is the rag, this is the polish, and we just—ow!”

“Try not to polish the edge of the blade, Merlin.”

“I knew that,” he had muttered sheepishly, rubbing the cloth over the flat of the blade this time, “but thank you.”

Gwen had rolled her eyes fondly. “Just keep trying, you’re doing great.”

So he had just…done his best to learn what to do. Which would’ve been easier had he also not been learning how to act.

‘Yes, sire.’

‘No, sire.’

‘As you wish, sire.’

‘Sire’ this and ‘sire’ that and bloody hell, why is he not allowed to say anyone’s bloody name?

Formalities have never really been Merlin’s strong suit, not that he’s ever really needed them. And now that he has to use them, he’s starting to regret not paying attention to his mum’s scoldings. Just a little bit. Not that much. It’s not entirely his fault, is it, that those lectures were so boring and there were things he could’ve been doing.

But here…

Here, if he doesn’t address someone the right way, he gets cuffed around the head. The first time it happened, his hand flew to his head in shock. It wasn’t a particularly hard slap—he’s had worse walking into the door by himself—but the fact that someone was allowed to hit him, was expected to hit him, and it was his own fault was…jarring.

He learns his lesson about trying to hit back much quicker.

He still slips up from time to time, even now, after so many years, but his reflexes have gotten a lot better. Goblets, combs, hunks of bread, boots, staffs, just about every object he can think of, he’s had thrown at his head. With Arthur, it’s fine, he can snipe back perfectly well on his own, and it’s not like he’s going anywhere. He just bites back enough to make it a little more bearable. And besides, Arthur hasn’t ever seriously hurt him, maybe because he’s always lauding about how strong he is and how weak Merlin. Doesn’t want to break him.

And he can get away with it with some of the knights. The close ones, sure. Leon—well, he doesn’t try that much shite with Leon. Leon’s terrifying, not just because he’s one of the oldest knights and the longest-serving of Arthur’s inner circle, but because he knows things. Leon’s perception scares the hell out of Merlin, not in the least because he’s got so much to hide.

Does he ever think Leon would seriously hurt him? No, but he might tell people who would.

Percival is a big man. His arms are about the size of Merlin’s skull. He doesn’t want to get near that man’s bad side, even if he hasn’t found it yet.

Elyan is sneaky. He’s got just enough say to be dangerous, not enough to be an obvious suspect. And he’s got Gwen on his side—or more specifically, Gwen’s got him on her side. Gwen would never hurt him, he knows, he trusts her too much.

Lancelot is the only one he’s not afraid of, him and Gwaine. Mainly because he knows that they know.

…look, you do what Merlin’s been doing for as long as he’s been doing it, you slip up. It happens.

But Lancelot never looked at him differently. Never raised a hand to him to hurt him, always touched him gently, spoke softly, sparred with him in good faith. Even when he swings a spear at him in jest, it’s never too fast to actually bruise him if it connects.

Gwaine slaps him on the shoulder, claps him on the back, hard enough to bruise sometimes, but he cares. He hides it well—well, sort of—and looks out for Merlin when Lancelot can’t. But he knows Gwaine has a breaking point, and he’s not super keen on looking for it.

He can get away with it. A little. Not a lot.

But only with them.

With the other knights…

One of the hardest things he had to learn was that no one cared.

When a knight smacks him over the head with the flat of a dulled blade, it doesn’t matter that the sight of a blade swinging at his freezes terror in his throat, nor that the ring of the blade won’t go away for three hours. The others will just laugh and tell him to move his arse.

When a knight knocks the equipment out of his hands and snarls at him to get moving, it doesn’t matter that it’s often accompanied by a boot to his ribs. He’ll always get elbowed in the exact same place later and they won’t care about his wince.

When a knight decides that he’s had enough of Merlin just looking at him, he—

The other thing that Merlin’s had to learn very, very quickly, is that it’s better him than the other servants.

He has Gaius. Gaius will patch him up, no questions asked. And when he can’t go to Gaius, it’s not like he’ll be caught lurking suspiciously in his own quarters. And when he can’t do that, he has his magic.

None of the others do.

So he learns. He picks up the things he needs to know, puts his head down, and bears it.

That’s what servants are supposed to do.

So you can imagine that when the others look absolutely horrified as he explains to them that he knows how this works, he’s learned, he’s confused.

“Come on, guys, it’s not like the other servants don’t know this.”

“It’s funny,” Gwaine growls, his fist tightening on the table, “how you think that makes this any better.”

Merlin rolls his eyes. “I’m not a gossip, Gwaine—“

“That,” Elyan says, “is not true.”

“—okay fine, I enjoy a bit of the servant’s gossip as well as anyone, but not about this!” He shakes his head. “It’s fine, they know about it, it’s not like anyone cares.”

“See, Merlin,” Lancelot says quietly, “that’s where you’re wrong.”

Merlin frowns. What are they talking about? Who’s noticed? Is he doing it wrong? What does he need to fix?

See, his confusion only grows when he voices those concerns and the knights only seem to grow more upset.

“I can’t believe this,” Gwaine mutters, turning away, “how long has this been happening, Merlin?”

“Which part?”

Gwaine is doing a remarkable impersonation of someone who is extremely constipated. “…all of it.”

“I mean, it began as soon as I set foot in Camelot, if you want to go from the very beginning.”

Leon swallows. “And if we asked for you to be…more specific?”

Merlin huffs, throwing his arms up. “Why are you so concerned about this? It’s nothing to worry about!”

“You’re being abused, Merlin,” Arthur—since when has Arthur been this quiet?—says finally, looking at Merlin the same way he looked at Morgana when Uther strangled her against the back of the throne—see? It’s just something that happens here— “that’s definitely something to worry about.”

Merlin scoffs. “I’m not being abused, I’m just being treated like a servant.”

“If that’s what you think being treated like a servant means,” Gwaine says, standing, “then this conversation is going to take a lot longer than we thought.”

In response, Percival moves to stand in front of the door. Merlin sighs.

“You don’t have to block the exit, Percival, I know I’m not allowed to leave.”

A choked-off sound comes from Merlin’s left, followed by a muffled curse. Percival shakes his head.

“I’m over here to make sure no one else comes in to hurt you,” the knight says calmly, “not to make sure you don’t leave.”

“But if you want to,” Elyan says quickly, “you can.”

“No, no, I know a trap when I see one, no thank you.”

“It’s not a trap, Merlin,” Lancelot says, even as he looks to be about two seconds from crying for some reason, “if you truly wish to leave, you can. We won’t stop you.”

Merlin raises an eyebrow. “…sure.”

Arthur lowers his head. Merlin frowns, watching his shoulders tense.

“Are you alright?”

He gets his answer in the form of many unshed tears welling up in Arthur’s eyes as he raises his head.

“No, Merlin,” he says in a remarkably steady voice, “I’m not. But don’t worry about me.”

“That’s my job,” Merlin insists, striding forward, “let me help.”

Arthur catches him gently—gently?—gently by the elbows as he reaches for him, smiling sadly.

“Can I give you another way to help me?”

Merlin swallows heavily. “…what does it entail, exactly?”

“For starters, explaining why that question has you shaking in your boots.”

“I’m not—“ Merlin looks down to see Arthur’s hands are just about the only thing holding him up— “oh.”

“Sit,” Leon encourages, bringing a chair over and crouching in front of it. Around him, the knights lower themselves to the ground, with the exception of Percival, still by the door.

“Merlin,” Leon calls again, “can I ask you some questions? If you don’t want to answer any of them, that’s alright, but may I ask?”

Merlin blinks. “Sure?”

He gets a nod of thanks. “What do you understand your duties as a servant to be?”

“To help with the running of the castle and take care of Arthur’s needs.”

“Which are?”

“What—“

“Please,” Arthur says softly, “please, Merlin, I know it sounds silly, but…please?”

Well, he’s never been very good at saying no to upset Arthur. He sighs.

“Keeping his chambers clean, keeping track of his laundry, dressing him in the mornings, polishing his armor, bringing him food, escorting him to court affairs, and any other odd jobs he asks me to do.”

Leon nods. “And what about the knights? Do you have duties with us, too?”

“I’m supposed to help you train and see to your immediate needs with those, too.”

“Such as?”

“Equipment, water, food, chambers—“

“Chambers?” Lancelot frowns. “Why would you need to see to our chambers?”

“Not yours, but the visiting knights.” Merlin frowns as Arthur’s hand twitches on his elbow. “What?”

“Do they presume that you are their servant,” Leon asks in a low voice, “when you do so?”

“I am, aren’t I?” He looks to Arthur. “You assign me to them.”

“No, Merlin,” Arthur corrects gently, still looking like he’s about two seconds from crying and still taking Merlin by surprise at how soft he’s being, “I ask you to get them settled, that’s all.”

Merlin blinks. “Oh. Uh…”

“What do they ask you to do,” Leon asks, “as their servant?”

He furrows his brow, trying to remember. “Uh, change their sheets, see to their armor, start a fire, bring them dinner…”

Leon raises an eyebrow when he trails off. “Anything else?”

“They, um—“

Hands. Hands on his skin. Voices in his ear.

“Merlin.” Arthur gives him a shake. “Merlin.”

“Sorry,” he says instantly, “I just…”

He trails off again when he sees the absolutely heartbroken look on Arthur’s face.

“…Arthur?”

“Why,” Arthur whispers, “why do you let them…do that?”

Merlin frowns. “It’s fine.”

“It’s most certainly not fine.”

“It is,” Merlin argues, “it’s what servants are supposed to do, anyway, and it’s better me than the others.”

Gwaine muffles a curse again, and to his surprise, so does Lancelot.

“Merlin,” Leon says, calling his attention with how hoarse he sounds, “Merlin, why is it better you than the others if there’s nothing wrong with what’s happening to you?”

Oh.

Oh, no.

Merlin’s hands start to shake.

Something in his throat wells up and pushes against his jaw. It hurts. The bruises on his back start to smart.

“Why do you care,” he says instead, “why now?”

“We didn’t know,” Leon whispers, sounding every bit the man confessing his worst sin, “and we are so, so sorry that we didn’t.”

“And if you’re asking why we care,” Lancelot says, equally heartfelt, “then we are more sorry than you could ever know.”

Merlin frowns. “But you lot do it too.”

The room freezes.

Arthur yanks his hands away from Merlin like he’s been burned. Leon stifles a noise of his own as Elyan’s mouth drops open.

“What,” Gwaine manages after a few moments, “the fuck does that mean?”

“You—you hit me, you order me around, you—“ Merlin swings his head back and forth, looking at their shell-shocked faces— “why are you all looking at me like that?”

“Because you’ve just told us we’ve been abusing you since the moment you set foot in Camelot, Merlin,” Arthur whispers, tears finally starting to roll down his cheeks.

“But you knew!” Merlin’s hands fly to his hair as he cries out. “You knew this was happening, you could see it happening and you didn’t care!”

“I’m sorry, Merlin—“

“If we knew it was like this—“

“If you think we’d ever hurt you like that—“

“No, gods no, Merlin—“

“Of course we care—“

“Merlin,” Arthur whispers, holding out a shaking hand, “Merlin, please, please believe us that we would never be okay with you being mistreated like that. Like this.”

And godsdamnit all, the amount of sheer heartbreak in the room is enough to coax a lump into Merlin’s throat and spring tears down his cheeks. Arthur lets out a wounded noise as he sees them, reaching forward to gently, still gently, wipe them away. The naked concern on not just his face, but the others’ faces as well, only encourages more.

“I’m so sorry, Merlin,” he keeps saying, “I’m so, so, sorry.”

“Arthur, I—“ He’s cut off by a gasping sob— “Arthur—“

“Shh, shh, shh,” Arthur hushes frantically, cupping Merlin’s face in both hands, “shh, shh, Merlin, it’s alright, no one’s ever going to hurt you again, I swear it—“

“You’re damn right,” he hears Gwaine mutter as the other knights agree.

“—and I’m so sorry that you thought I’d be okay with it, that I was helping—“ Arthur’s voice cracks— “no, no, you’re—you’re my Merlin—I never want to see you hurt like that—I never mean to hurt you—“

“I know,” Merlin murmurs, “I—I know you don’t.”

Arthur, gentle Arthur, pulls him into the softest hug he’s ever had, cradling him like he’s something precious, something fragile, something to be savored and oh, oh, gods—

“Easy,” he hears Leon soothe, “easy does it now, come sit—come sit with us.”

He can’t quite manage to pry himself out of Arthur’s grip as he feels the knights come closer, huddling around the two of them in a protective circle. He even hears Percival’s heavy steps coming closer, a silent guardian, keeping watch.

“I don’t—“ he gasps— “I don’t understand.”

“We’ll help you,” Arthur promises in his ear, “we’ll help you figure it out.”

“But if anyone ever,” Gwaine growls, “and I mean ever does anything like that to you again, you tell us.”

Merlin nods frantically. “Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.”

“Thank you, Merlin,” Leon murmurs, “may I…?”

Merlin nods and Leon’s hand cards tenderly through his hair.

“Oh, Merlin,” he mumbles, almost to himself, “you came into our lives blustering about how servants were people too…and we never noticed this?”

The knight shudders and steels himself.

“We will do better.” He gives Merlin’s head one last pat. “We all will.”

“I can—“ Merlin swallows— “I can…ask for help?”

“Yes, Merlin,” Arthur promises instantly, “you can ask me for help, and if you think I’m letting another one of those knights near you ever again—“

Oh. Oh, wow.

The wave of protective fury that hits Merlin’s chest is—

Wow.

He’s still confused. Confused and more than a little scared.

But as he curls up in Arthur’s arms, held and kept with Camelot’s strongest knights curled around him too, protecting him, shielding him, he thinks he may finally start to feel safe.

#merlin #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #arthur pendragon #merthur #merthur fic #fic #dragonbabbles

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queerofthedagger · 3 years

Note

I would love to hear your essay on why Merlin didnt own telling Morgana about his magic, because it honestly makes me mad when people say he should have since he too had magic

Ooh hey, thanks so much for the ask! And about one of my favourite pet peeves too 😂❤️ I have a lot to say on that because yeah, it makes me mad too. This got really long, so I apologize for that in advance... (I tried to put some of it under a readmore but tumblr is being a pain again.)

Obligatory disclaimer that obviously, everyone’s entitled to their opinion and I’m not aiming to change anyone’s mind.

First of all, I think it gets ignored sometimes that Merlin didn’t actually leaver her alone or didn’t try to help. He very much did so in “The Nightmare Begins,” by finding out how to get her to the Druids. This is directly after she tells him about her belief that she has magic and that she’s scared, and he does so against the explicit orders/advice from both Gaius and Kilgharrah.

When he goes to find her because Uther is executing people and she refuses to go back, he doesn’t pressure her. People are getting killed about it, and yet when she says, “I'm sorry. I'm never going back. These are my people. They're like me. I don't feel so alone here. Do you understand?” his only answer is “Better than anyone.”

But yeah, it does tell him that when it comes down to a choice between self-preservation and saving others, Morgana will choose the former. And that’s fine, to some degree! People are allowed self-preservation and putting themselves first, and Merlin and Arthur often are self-sacrificing to a truly unhealthy degree. That being said, I personally find it questionable if accepting the death of innocent, also at least under-privileged if not oppressed people for your own sake is the morally “right” choice but as I don’t want to start a philosophical rant here, let’s leave it at that.

There’s—imo—more than one reason why Merlin didn’t owe her anything; first of all, I personally don’t think you ever owe anything of this kind to anyone, ever. Just because someone tells me a huge secret, doesn’t mean I have to do the same, especially if it’s a life-threatening one; all you “owe” is kindness, understanding, and keeping the secret that was entrusted to you. All of which Merlin did.

Then there’s the whole axis of power to their relationship; Morgana might be nice and treat Gwen and Merlin with respect, but that doesn’t erase the huge difference of station between them. Since the first week Merlin arrived in Camelot, he saw that the word of a servant, his word, meant absolutely nothing against a knight, noble, or actual royal.

Morgana didn’t hand him any power over herself when she revealed her secret. Merlin, on the other hand, would’ve handed her complete power over his life or death. I’m not saying Merlin would’ve ever revealed her secret under any circumstances—I actually think if he had told Arthur in season 3, Arthur would’ve believed him; he’s proven he would, more than once. But it wasn’t only about being believed, it was also, still, about not giving her away. (Though to be fair here—what it was also about was that she threatened to reveal that he poisoned her. Which, obviously, fair to some degree but if she did that, I doubt she would’ve revealed why he did, which ultimately only plays back into my point that Morgana’s loyalty is conditional. Which, again, is a valid stance to have, but not that of a person I’d trust with such a secret.)

Anyway. Just because Merlin never would’ve revealed her secret, doesn’t mean that the difference in their potential power over each other wasn’t there, and it’s important. Especially if you look back to the start of season 2 where—even before she turned her back on Camelot—Morgana made it clear that for her, self-preservation prevails when it comes right down to it.

Well, and thirdly, there’s also the matter of destiny and responsibility if Merlin’s own safety and well-being isn’t already enough (which it is, just in case there was any doubt about my opinion on that matter.) Of course, in season 2, Merlin’s not yet as fixated on Arthur as he is later, not even on destiny, as his intention to leave Camelot shows (if he had stayed away is another question altogether but I digress.) Still, Kilgharrah made it pretty clear that this was about more than Merlin, and while Merlin definitely didn’t always listen to him, the threat was immense.

And it wasn’t only about Arthur either, I’d even say that in the great scheme of things, Arthur played relatively little into this decision; it was about his people as a whole, and it was about Gaius because if Merlin had been revealed, Gaius had already proven that he’d try taking the fall if not get accused of harbouring a sorcerer. I don’t think this alone would’ve been enough, but taken together with the other points, I think it did have some weight in Merlin’s decision and I also think that it was a valid choice to make even beyond the “you don’t have to reveal anything to anyone even if it’s only because you don’t want to.”

Last but not least, I also think it’s important to keep in mind how long they’ve known each other which, at that point, were maybe two years. Merlin’s been most likely told from the day he could understand it to never reveal himself to anyone. Until Freya, Merlin never tells anyone on his own volition (except maybe Will, we don’t know, but they’ve known each other their whole lives), and it’s impossible to compare the circumstances. Just because Morgana told him in what she herself calls a moment of weakness does not mean Merlin has any obligation to do the same.

I want to reiterate that he did try to help her, actively with the Druids, and also passively by reassuring her that there’s nothing wrong with her and that he will keep her secret. This is already more than he would have to do—the whole thing with the Druids put Merlin at risk too, arguably much more than her. Of course, that has never stopped him which is what we love about him, but I think that it’s more than enough. Merlin is not responsible for fixing every little thing in Camelot, he’s not responsible for other people’s actions and decisions, and he did more than could be expected of him.

Which is also why I think that if he had told her about his magic, it wouldn’t have changed anything in the long run, but as this is already way too long, let’s leave that can of worms for another time...

#merlin emrys #morgana pendragon #merlin meta #mona's rambling #this is more an out-of-canon point but I also just prefer Morgana having the agency to owning her actions tbh #answered asks #aeonthedimensionalgirl

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mca-attack21 · 3 years

Text

The Beginning of Something

This imagine is based super loosely off of Season 5, Episode 8. It can be read as a stand alone, but will definitely be continued with at least five more parts as I rewrite the ending of the show. That being said, get ready for the rollercoaster of emotions that is Merlin. Also, you can find more of my writing: Here.

Tensions had been high with Arthur as he was struggling with a decision. He had come to find out that another ruler, Sarrum, had similar aims when it came to Morgana. As much as he hated it, he knew that there could never truly be peace in Camelot, or even in Albion for that matter until she was stopped. Sarrum was known for his boundless cruelty and double-crossing nature, but Arthur was becoming desperate and you know what they say about desparate times...

As Arthur was working through this troubling decision, he took it out on the one person unlucky enough to almost always be at his side. So when Gaius told Merlin that he needed him to go get some herbs and plants, Merlin was out the door glad for an excuse to escape the castle before he killed Arthur himself and ended his destiny once and for all. He understood that Arthur was under a lot of pressure, but he didn’t have to be such a clotpole about it.

Merlin was out looking for the last of Gaius’ herbs when a young dark-haired boy all but ran into him.

“Woah, who are you? And what are you doing out here by yourself?”

“My name is Daegal. I have been sent by the druids to find you, my sister is dying,” the boy spoke showing Merlin his mark.

“How did you know where to find me?”

“I could sense your presence.”

“Where is your sister?” Merlin asked.

“She is at camp just shy of the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Please, you have to hurry, she does not stand to survive past the night.”

“What exactly is wrong with her?”

“She has a terrible fever and it is something beyond our magic. Please, Merlin, you are our only hope.”

Merlin was conflicted as he knew that this was risky. He also knew that Arthur would need him by his side in order to get through the meeting with Sarrum the following day. But he couldn’t stand by and let an innocent girl die when there was a possibility that he could help.

“We need to leave at once, I need to be back in Camelot by nightfall,” Merlin spoke.

“Of course, thank you.”

“I can’t make any promises to save your sister, but I will do everything in my power. The druids have helped me before, they are a welcomed ally,” Merlin replied as he packed up his belongings.

The two of them walked on, spending the rest of the morning and the better part of the afternoon making their way to the place where Daegal said the druids were camped. It was as they neared the camp that Merlin heard bandits approaching and reached out to Daegal with his mind to warn him. The boy carried on as if he hadn’t heard Merlin and Merlin was forced to all but tackled him so that they were not found out.

“Did you not hear me?” Merlin asked.

“No?” Daegel replied looking at Merlin as if he were crazy, “Come on, it isn’t much further.”

Merlin brushed off an uneasy feeling that was staring to form and followed Daegel. They reached the clearing, and Merlin tossed his bag down before turning back. “There is no one here,” he stated the obvious.

Daegel opened his mouth as if to say something but could not find words. He was beginning to wonder what his choice in bringing Merlin here would mean.

“Why have you brought me here? What is this?” Merlin interrogated sternly.

“I can explain,” the boy said fearfully.

“You are not even a druid,” Merlin realized lifting up Daegel’s sleeve to confirm.

“She told me to bring you here,” Daegel tried to explain.

Before Merlin could confirm that the ‘she’ Daegel mentioned was indeed Morgana he was thrown back and knocked unconscious.

“Why are you doing this?” Daegel asked.

“Because, Merlin has meddled in my plans one too many times. I only wish I could see his face as Arthur meets his demise at my hand,” Morgana revealed as she poured a dark liquid down his throat and pushed him over the ledge.

“Are you really going to kill the king?”

“Bite your tongue. You have done your part here and you would be wise to forget it. Here is the antidote your sister requires, now get lost.”

And with that Morgana left to set the rest of her plan in action. Daegel took one last look at Merlin before leaving to return to his family.

Back in Camelot:

“Gaius, you said Merlin would be back by lunch and now it is past dinner. Where is he?” Arthur asked clearly frustrated.

“I truly do not know Sire, but I am beginning to become worried.”

“Where did you send him?”

“I sent him out just beyond the creek. It should have taken him 4 hours at the most there and back,” Gaius explained worry evident on his face.

Picking up on this, Arthur’s expression softened, “I am sure that he is fine Gaius, probably just taking advantage of the break from me. If he does not turn up tomorrow I will send out a search party for him.”

“I hope you’re right,” Gaius said as Arthur took his leave.

Meanwhile with Merlin:

The first time he regained consciousness, Merlin struggled to breathe through the pain he was in. He attempted to use his magic to try to heal himself, but he was too weak. The exertion proved too much for him and everything around him faded to nothing.

The next time he awoke, he was both disoriented and confused. He had clearly been found by someone as a cool rag now rested on his brow and his wounds had been treated. He had been laid near a fire, food and water were both in his reach.

He peered around for any indication of who had helped him, and realized that he recognized where he was. He had been brought back towards Camelot. Before he could deduce anything else he heard someone approaching. He forced himself to sit up, which was a task in itself. He then try to mentally prepare for whatever was coming.

But instead of bandits, Morgana’s men, dangerous creatures, or anything else that could be considered threatening, it was just you. Merlin was surprised to say the least. Not that he had really thought about it, but the idea of someone who appeared around his age who had helped him... as he looked at you, he felt safe and connected to you in some way. It was as if he had known you his entire life, and he didn’t even know your name.

“Ah, take it easy, I mean you no harm. I come baring fish,” you smiled at him.

“Are you the one who did all of this?” he asked gesturing to his bandages and the water/food.

“I am, usually you would’ve been healed by now, but the poison that Morgana used in combination with her magic was a force to be reckoned with.”

“Who are you?”

“A friend. Some know me by Phúlax, but you can call me Y/n,” you said before turning away to use your magic to cook the fish and offering it to him.

“You have magic?” Merlin asked in awe.

“Yes, I was born with it,” you answered offering him one of the fish, “You need to eat, and then rest, you have been unconscious for over a day and we are still about an hour from the castle. Morgana and the queen intend to kill the King tomorrow and bring a great war to Camelot.”

“How do you know that?” Merlin asked.

“I know a lot of things Merlin. I promise I will answer all of your questions in time, but for now I just need you to trust me,” you answered.

“I guess I don’t really have a choice,” he joked.

“You do, Merlin, you always have a choice,” you spoke voice turned serious for a moment before you snapped out of it, “I am sorry, I am just tired, you aren’t the easiest person to keep alive,” you replied light-heartedly.

“If you think I’m bad you should try being the manservant of the king,” Merlin joked which caused you to laugh.

“Is he really that bad?”

“He can be a prat at times,” Merlin paused, “But at the end of the day, he is one of the best men I have ever met. He is fiercely loyal, believes in equality and justice, valor and honor. Camelot is lucky to have him. And it is an honor to serve him,” Merlin reflects.

“He is lucky to have such a loyal friend,” you add before taking his plate from him, “Get some rest.”

“Y/n,” he called as you began to walk away.

“Yes, Merlin?”

“Thank you.”

“Your welcome,” you smiled, turning your back once again.

You cleared away everything and packed up your bags before walking over and covering Merlin with a blanket. You layed across from him and just watched as he slept peacefully. He had been so close to death, and to see him now you wouldn’t even know it. You were glad that he was alright. Eventually, you too drifted off to sleep.

Back in Camelot:

“I’m sorry to bother you Sire, but I wanted to inform you that Merlin has still not returned. I fear something terrible may have happened,” Gaius spoke after having been let in to Arthur’s chambers.

“I will send out a search party,” Arthur spoke growing concerned about his friend.

“What is this?” Gwen asked walking over.

“Merlin still has not returned, so I am sending some of the knights out to search for him,” Arthur explained.

“Oh dear, I knew I should’ve said something. Arthur I feel terrible, but he made me promise not to tell anyone. I know where Merlin is,” she returned.

“Where?” Gaius asked.

“He has gone to visit someone. He isn’t in any danger. He’s just seeing a girl,” Gwen explained.

“Merlin?” Arthur laughed in suprise.

“There isn’t any reason to worry, I promise,” Gwen smiled.

“Except for the poor girl,” Arthur joked.

“Thank you your highness, you’ve put a worried mind at rest,” Gaius bowed before exiting the chambers.

“Now then, it is time to begin preparing for the signing ceremony,” Arthur said relieved.

Meanwhile with Merlin:

“Merlin,” you spoke softly as you shook him slightly.

“Hmmm?”

“It is time to get up, we must head for Camelot,” you reminded.

He groaned before sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Here, have some breakfast. I’m going to refill the water canisters and then we can be on our way,” you smiled handing him an apple and some bread.

When you returned you were pleasantly surprised to see that Merlin was packed and on his feet ready to go. The two of you started on the path in a comfortable silence before Merlin’s curiosity got the better of him.

“Tell me about yourself,” he suggested.

“Okay, what do you want to know?”

“Everything. I mean where are you from? Why are you here? How did you discover you had magic?”

“Slow down Merlin,” you laugh, “I was born in camelot. When I was very young my mother was discovered healing a child who was meant to die. The king found out and…” your sentance fell as you thought back.

“I’m so sorry,” Merlin said genuinely.

You took a deep breath and continued, “My father quickly snuck me out and to a small village just outside of Camelot. We lived there, I was able to practice magic in secret. Everything was going fine until Morgana showed up searching for me. I had never even heard of her, but there she was calling me by a name that a friend of mine who was a Druid used,” you paused again.

“I was going to turn myself over to her in hopes that she would spare the others, but before I could I was knocked unconscious. I woke up in the woods with the survivors and discovered that my father had not made it. I left them partially in hopes that Morgana would not strike again, and partially in shame that I did not stand up for them. I decided to head back to the only other home I have known, where I will search for a job and try to create some semblance of a life. On my way, I discovered you,” you explained a few tears betraying you.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Merlin spoke with certainty, “Morgana would’ve tortured you or killed you.”

“Still, I should’ve done something. When you have powers like ours, it is our responsibility to help those who can’t help themselves.”

“How did you know that I had magic?” Merlin asked.

“I can sense it, it flows through every fiber of your being. You have this resonance of power. It’s like we are connected.”

“I have never met anyone like you,” Merlin said as he smiled in amazement.

“You barely even know me,” you reply turning away from his face.

“I know that you are kind, and brave, and good,” he thinks for a moment before adding, “and beautiful.”

You can’t help but blush, “Thank you, Merlin.”

“What about you, is there anything that you want to know about me?” he asked.

The two of you continued to talk until you reached the courtyard. There were moments filled with laughter and moments of true sincerity. It was like you were old friends merely catching up. Like both of you were drawn together somehow.

As you entered the castle, you were both on high alert not knowing exactly what to expect. Merlin searched for Arthur before discovering that a door that was meant to be locked was left open. Having a gut feeling, he lead you up the staircase. There was a man with a crossbow who aimed for Arthur. He immediately noticed you and shot at Merlin who was slow to react. You shifted the arrow using magic. The man seemingly unphased threw knives at you instead. You tried to use your magic but it was to no avail.

You barely managed to pull Merlin out of the way in time. Taking advantage of your brief distracted state, the man reloaded the crossbow and aimed for Arthur once again. Merlin used his magic to jar the man and knock him out. The shot meant for Arthur instead hit Sarrum.

“Leon, Gwaine,” Arthur ordered them to check out the source of the arrow.

“We did it,” Merlin turned to you smiling. But as quickly as it had graced his face, the smile fell. For you were still on the ground with one of the knives in your stomach. “Y/n, just hold on, I can fix this.”

“It is one of Morgana’s, no magic can be used against it.”

“Well then, we will just have to fix it the old fashioned way,” he smirked before leaving over the balcony.

“Gaius, I need you to meet me in the infirmary at once it’s urgent,” he yelled.

“Merlin?” Arthur questioned quick to follow Gaius out of the door.

Merlin then picked you up bridal style and carried you back to Gaius’ chambers.

“I’m glad I met you,” you whispered already feeling much of the strength leaving your body.

“Well, there is a lot more to see, so just hold on,” Merlin said.

Merlin ran into Gwaine and Leon at the bottom of the stairs but he didn’t stop even as they were calling after him. Once inside, he swiftly used his magic to clear off the table and laid you on it. Just then Gaius and Arthur came rushing in.

“What happened?” “Who is that?” Gaius and Arthur asked at the same time.

“Her name is Y/n and you have to help her Gaius,” Merlin said voice full of emotion.

“Of course,” the physician said starting immediately to work.

“Is there anything that I can do?” Merlin asked. Gaius gave him a list of instructions and he completed each one quickly and without question. Arthur just stood and watched not knowing how to react. It wasn’t long before they had done everything that they could and it was just a matter of time.

Upon reaching this point, Arthur calmly asked for an explanation of what had happened.

“I went out to get herbs and before I could do anything else, I was trapped by Morgana. She had left me for dead, but then Y/n found me. She took care of me and brought me back here. I knew that Morgana was planning something, so we rushed here and found the overlook door open. We went up and found a man who was aiming a crossbow at you. He threw a knife at me and she pushed me out of the way. I was then able to charge him, but the shot still went off,” Merlin explained.

“So it seems that she has saved your life twice and now mine, when she wakes she will be rewarded,” Arthur responded impressed, “I must get back to the proceedings, please move her into the guest chambers and keep me appraised of her condition. Merlin, I trust that you will stay with her and see to her needs,” Arthur said sending him a knowing look.

“Of course Arthur,” Merlin replied.

“Oh, and Merlin,” Arthur started.

“Yes, Arthur?”

“I am truly glad that you are back in one piece,” he finished, pulling the door closed behind him.

“As am I,” Gaius added pulling the young warlock into a hug.

As they pulled away, Merlin was quick to carry you up into one of the fancy guest bedrooms. He laid you down and covered you with the blankets. Guias entered behind him.

“Did anything else happen while you were gone that you couldn’t speak so freely about in front of Arthur?”

Merlin glanced into the hallway before using his magic to close the door earning a glare from Gaius.

“She’s like me, she was born with magic,” he eyes lite up.

“Really?” Gaius asked.

“Yeah, the druids call her Phúlax. I can’t explain it Gaius, but I have never felt this connected to someone before.

“She is Phúlax?” Gauis asked with reverence.

“Yes, why? Does that name mean something to you?”

“You know how your destiny has been foretold for many generations?” Gaius asked and Merlin nodded.

“Phúlax means protector. Though she is known by many names. Some that may stand out to you are, the Servant’s Guardian, Arthur’s Chance, Protector of Emrys, or Rewriter of Destiny. It is believed that she would arrive at the beginning of the end, and that she would be at your side to turn the end into the beginning,” Gaius explained.

“What does that mean? And why have I never heard of her?”

“No one truly knows what the prophecy means. Just that she is an important ally in your story. And I would assume that those who know of her are protective of her identity for the same reason they are protective of yours. Because if Morgana found her, Albion would fall.”

Merlin had more questions, the most important one being, “So she is going to be okay?”

“Her wound was not fatal, due to the nature of the weapon, she simply has to heal at a normal rate. That being said, she should wake up by morning,” Gaius answered before getting up to leave the room.

Gwaine entered as he exited, “Merlin, it’s good to see you. I’ve been searching the taverns for you in your absence,” he winked.

“Good to see you too, Gwaine,” he laughed.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing after earlier,” Gwaine said taking a seat beside his friend.

“Well, in the past three days I have almost been killed twice, so you know just another day in Camelot,” Merlin tried to joke.

“Are you alright?” Gwaine asked seriously.

“I will be fine,” Merlin promised.

“And who is this beautiful lady?” Gwaine asked trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m afraid she is off-limits,” Arthur spoke from the doorway carrying a plate of food.

“What? Why?” Gwaine asked.

“Because Merlin here has dibs,” Arthur grinned.

“I...We….She is…..I mean…” Merlin struggled.

“Oh, look at him he is getting red as a tomato,” Arthur said bursting into laughter.

“Our little Merlin has a crush,” Gwaine grinned, “If you need any advice,” he winked at Merlin before getting up and seeing himself out.

Arthur took his place at Merlin’s side.

“Did you really have to do that? I’m not going to hear the end of this,” Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur.

“Consider it payback for all of the times you teased me about Guinevere. Besides, I think that it’s a good thing,” he decided.

“I brought you this, along with some news,” Arthur said handing Merlin the plate of food.

“What’s the news?”

“Should she want it, I have decided to offer Y/n a position as Guinevere’s lady in waiting. I figure that she has shown her loyalty and you clearly trust her. I trust your judgment. And, this will give you an excuse to see her in the castle,” Arthur explained.

“Really? That’s incredible. I can’t wait to tell her. And to introduce the two of you.”

“Just remember this when it comes time to chose a best man,” Arthur joked. The two of them continued to talk for a while before Arthur decided it was best that he return to the knights as they were preparing for a trip.

Merlin was trying to work through what Gaius had said, and how he felt. It was silly to think that he could love someone that he had only just met. But there was no other word for it. The thought of working with you, getting to know you better, spending time with you, it was all exciting for Merlin. Especially having another person that he could talk about magic with, someone who truly understood him.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even register the fact that you were awake.

“Merlin?” you tried to sit up, but the pain that rippled through you decided otherwise.

“Hey there, take it easy. It’s okay, you’re safe,” he smiled taking your hand without even thinking, “Do you need anything? Water? Food? I can go get Gaius if you’d like?”

“I’ll be fine Merlin, I’m glad you and Arthur are safe,” you smiled.

“Speaking of Arthur, I’ve got some news for you,” he beamed, “The King was so thankful that you saved his life that he has decided to give you the highest honor he can bestow.”

“Oh? And what is that?”

“He has graciously decided to make you his wife’s servant,” Merlin replied rolling his eyes.

“That’s brilliant! It solves my problem of finding a place to stay and finding a job in one fell swoop,” you smile.

“There is one problem though,” Merlin said seriously.

“What is it?”

“We will definitely be seeing a lot of each other,” he grinned.

“You had me worried,” you said as you smacked his arm.

“I am going to go tell Gaius and Arthur that you are awake,” he decided.

You watched as he left, you felt so relieved that things were falling into place. You were happy to meet Gaius and the King, who made not-so-subtle jokes about Merlin’s affections for you. Merlin looked like he was about to kill him, which made you laugh all the more. You already felt at home here. You couldn’t wait to see what the future held for you in Camelot. This was truly the beginning of something special.

#Merlin #BBC Merlin #Merlin rewrite #merlin imagines #merlin imagine #bbc merlin imagine #bbc merlin imagines #king arthur imagine #king arthur imagines #arthur pendragon imagine #arthur pendragon imagines #Merlin x reader #Merlinxreader

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comeandhavefunwithme · 2 years

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The Other Merlin: Book review #2

Synopsis:

For as long as she could remember, all Emry wanted was to be a great magician like her father, the magnificent Merlin. As a kid, she fought to be included in his magic lessons for her twin brother, Emmet, and easily outshone him with each spell she cast. But after her father's disappearance several years ago, Emry has been feeling a little lost. Fate soon appears in the form of a royal messenger, summoning Emmet to court to serve as Prince Arthur's right-hand wizard. With Emmett indisposed thanks to a bad spell, Emry has to disguise herself as a teen boy and pretend to be her brother at the castle until they're able to switch.

Training as a wizard is everything Emry hoped it would be, except working so closely with the unbearably hot Arthur is a growing danger. They soon share adventures and a connection that can't be denied, but Emry's secret is a crime punishable by death. When royal scandals involving Lancelot, Guinevere, and Gawain threaten to reveal her truth, Emry must decide whether to stay and risk everything for a love borne out of deceit, or leave and never fulfill her potential to be Camelot's greatest magician.

My Review:

I absolutely love this book.

After procrastinating for weeks to read it, I finished it in 1 day.

This is a modern retelling of The Legends of Arthur. With casual mentions of the LGTQ+ community, feminist themes, power, corruption as well as friendship and, my personal favourite, found family. I hope these are the books that the next generation gets to read.

It’s amazing how this book can talk about different topics, such as corruption, toxic families, and the future.

The fact that this story doesn’t follow the original makes it all the more better. It might seem like a weakness but it is actually a strong point.

The story might be a little hard to get into and is definitely only for people who like re imaginings of stories.

The writing is great, and I absolutely love the Merlin-Arthur banter. It’s both cute and genuinely funny. This book was a breath of fresh air.

If you are looking for a women empowerment book, here is the book.

If you are looking for books where people don’t make a “big deal” out of being gay, here is the book.

If you are looking for a chill book, here it is.

A solid 9/10 on my scale.

#the other merlin #book review 2 #love this book #was not expecting it to be this good #Love it

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angelltheninth · 3 years

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Morgan le Fay Makes No Sense But I Try to Explain Anyway

I’ve been thinking about some these things for the longest time and they’re driving me crazy with questions so its time I finally write about them.

Introduction:

First of all I wanna say that I love Artoria and Mordred to bits and I wish them nothing but the best in navigating their complicated father-son relationship. Second of all, yes, I’m very aware that Morgan is a terrible person who did terrible strings BUT that doesn’t make her any less interesting. And third of all I’m a lowly simp for the Pendragon siblings ever since I watched the Merlin tv show so I can’t help but be interested in them.

With those things out of the way let me try to make at least a bit sense out of the some questions I’ve had about Morgan and her, for now, very limited but very confusing lore.

Backstory:

First lets start with her background and origins as those are one of the things that Fate changed about her. Normally Arthur and Morgan have the same mother but different fathers. Arthur’s parents are Uther and Igraine, and Morgan’s parents are Gorlois and Igraine. But in Fate Artoria and Morgan are related by Uther not Igraine. Morgan’s mother is never mentioned in Fate as of yet.

In some legends Morgan is sent away to a nunnery where she learns magic, it seems like Arthurian churches were very different than the ones we have today huh. In Fate however Morgan inherits her magic from Uther, but the magic is also a curse. The whole reason Uther even had Artoria was because he was worried about the magic dying and leaving Britain weak, but it seems to me like he didn’t even consider the possibility of Morgan being a magus. This would explain why she hates him and Artoria. Well there’s more reasons that she could hate Artoria for but we’ll get to those. Lets talk about the magic curse first.

As it was mentioned before the magic blood that Morgan has is inherited from Uther, but she also inherited the primeval curse in the form of black magical energy. We don’t really know what this curse is exactly or what kind of effect it had on Morgan or Uther. We do know that Morgan grew more and more spiteful as she grew up and while those feelings stem from her hate of Uther and later on of Artoria, its definitely possible that the black magic was one of the things that eventually drove her to be crazy and evil.

Uther Pendragon:

Now lets talk about Uther. Again not much is known about him yet, but lets just stick to what we know in relation to Morgan and his different treatment of Morgan and Artoria. Despite Morgan being older, coming from the same royal status and having inherited magic, Artoria was still more loved and cherished by Uther because she was his “true heir”, in his eyes at least. However because Morgan is older, and for a time more powerful, than her sister she thought of herself as the more legitimate ruler, and Artoria as the thief who stole her birthright. Yet another reason why she would hate Artoria. This however is completely Uther’s fault as he was the one who showed favoritism towards Artoria and left Morgan feeling insignificant, so in this sense I think Morgan’s hate is a bit misplaced.

Artoria Pendragon:

Next up is Artoria. Oh boy, these two. To say that their relationship is messed up is such an understatement. Morgan’s actions towards Artoria are one of the most confusion things about her, for me at least. We’ve already established that she hates her because she was favorited by Uther and names the rightful King of Britain instead of Morgan. That’s pretty straightforward, even though again I feel like the hatred is misplaced here. Usually all people talk about in regards to Morgan and Artoria is the whole wanting to take the throne and making Mordred to do so. Now to be fair those are already plenty fucked up by themselves, but also consider the fact that Artoria’s demise was something Morgan spent most of her life planning, that Artoria was the one who chose not to punish Lancelot after he killed three of Morgan’s kids and yet she was the one who took her to Avalon, healed her, stood watch over her until she wakes up, started a cult just to make sure she wakes up.

Lady, make it make sense! Do you want her dead or alive?!

Kay, Waver and Case Files:

This is where a lot of my confusion comes from. She spent her early life hell bent on destroying Artoria and then when she succeeds she wants to bring her back to life. Granted this could have something to do with what Kay said about Morgan seeming like she had three different people inside of her. But if that’s true are her multiple personalities something that she developed later on, or was she always three different people from the start? The three personalities are the only thing that could help explain her behavior for me.

In Case Files Waver speculates that all the contradiction in the stories about her are because the name "Morgan Le Fay" spread through Europe and became a placeholder name that assimilated many legends of fairies, witches and goddesses. He mentions the possibility that Morgan and the Celtic goddess Morrigan are one and the same. Its possible Morgan was just one of the personalities.

Is Morgan just chilling in Avalon waiting for Artoria to come back? And again, why?! If Morgan is just one of the personalities then does that mean that the one who planned to kill Artoria and the one that healed her are completely different people? Is Morgan even dead? Waver speculates she died a long time ago, but we don’t know that for sure, we just know that’s the one who came up with the ritual to bring Artoria back.

Morgan’s Separate Personalities:

Even if Morgan did have separate personalities one of them was clearly the dominant one for most of her life, from Uther’s show of favoritism up until Artoria’s death. Kay is the only one who ever talks about these different personalities most likely meaning that everyone else only ever got to see one of those three.

Regardless if there were even three personalities and which personality did what, I feel like there’s one thing that Morgan has the right to be pissed off about. The death of her kids and Lancelot not getting punished for it. Even if there are three different personalities I think all of them would be angry about that one.

Lets talk a bit about Artoria once more. Artoria never really mentions her sister, the one who talk about her is Mordred when confronting Artoria about about being her son. And then we have Kay talking about how she’s confusing and seemed like she was three different people. But Artoria never talks about her, which seems a bit odd to me since Morgan is respectable for making Mordred, sending Agravaine to Camelot as a assassin, and the one who attempted a coup d’état against her. And yet Artoria never talks about her, not even as an enemy. Its very likely that Artoria didn’t even know that she had a sister until later in her life, while Morgan was aware of Artoria all along. Taking the three personalities into account that would mean that the only version of Morgan that Artoria knew was the one that hated her and wanted to kill her. Artoria unlike Morgan isn’t a vengeful person so I can’t see her wanting to kill Morgan but its still odd that she never speaks of her in any form or fashion.

The Triple Goddess and the Horned God:

Getting back to the three personalities thing, there’s a Neopagan goddess that’s referred to as The Triple Goddess. She often rules one of the realms of heavens, earth, and underworld. In various forms of Wicca, her masculine consort is the Horned God sometimes a dual deity, the Oak King and the Holly King. The Goddess is the immortals one while her lover the Horned God dies and is later resurrected by her. Now I wouldn't call Artoria and Morgan lovers but I did want to point out the parallels between Artoria dying, Morgan waiting for her to heal and then deciding to make a ritual to revive her.

The Artoria Obsession:

Now if there aren’t three personalities and Morgan is just one Morgan all along then her actions make even less sense and we’re crossing into some seriously obsessive territory here. She spent her whole life trying to make Artoria miserable and get rid of her, and only after she finally gets what she wants she decides that she wants to heal her and bring her back.

The only way I could possibly see this making sense is that no matter how much Morgan hated Artoria, she was the reason Morgan did, well everything. For so much of her life Artoria was Morgan’s motivation. Then she got what she wanted but at the same time lost the motivation that drove her forward for so long. I honestly can’t see Morgan having a sudden change of heart after a lifetime of resenting her sister. Its possible that she’s a sadist who wants Artoria to suffer over and over, or she might feel empty without that struggle and drive she felt when Artoria was alive. In both cases its clear that she needs Artoria in her life in some way in order to have something to strive for, even if that something is negative.

And that’s it. I’m done. This was my attempt of trying to make sense of Morgan lore, no matter how contradictory it might be at times. There’s probably things I missed or got wrong and I really hope we get some actual canon answers soon.

#fate stay night #fate grand order #fgo #morgan le fay #fgo morgan #artoria pendragon #mordred #fate mordred #analysis #character analysis #fate lore #arthurian legend

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helloooofandoms · 4 years

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Old Friends

Hisirdoux x reader. Platonic! It had a theme I swear but then I couldn't stop writing. This takes place after Merlin's death but before Douxie and Nari leaves for New York. There's a little timeskip to the present Douxie in New York as well.

word count: 5k

History was not your favourite subject. You loathed it actually, but when the topic of Camelot came around in class you were absolutely thrilled! To you any lesson that seemed like the fantasy shows you watched made you attentive. This wasn't your usual telling of the Camelot tales, the fall of King Arthur and the knights of the roundtable. No, your professor had gone the extra mile of stating that Merlin, a great wizard, was also a key factor in this tale. Accompanied by his apprentice named Hisirdoux. According to him, the Camelot battle was just some side plot that was hiding the bigger story. The fact that King Arthur's sister, Morgana was a sorceress who only wanted to reign destruction. The rest of the class waved it off. Mr Choi was no stranger to conspiracy theories. You always knew there was some truth to your teacher's words. Even if the truth was buried in a few myths it was still there right?

For the whole day you couldn't get the thought of wizards out of your head. It was farfetched but not unbelievable. You knew wizards, witches, and warlocks existed. They had to! The worldwide witch trials were proof of it. Whether or not some of the people were just simple humans and some secretly having power over the arts, there was definitely proof that they existed. Even if the proof was downright criminal. It's just like humans to kill the things they don't understand.

Yawning, you had a lot of time to research the fact that Merlin was indeed present at King Arthur's death and perhaps even beforehand. Your teacher had urged you to go to the nearest bookstore and find evidence to either build your case or deny it. Of course you chose the first. Something was telling you that you'd have no trouble looking for information. Call it a gut feeling. Though you decided to head home first and see what the internet had to offer. Your nearest bookstore wasn't too far from your home. On your way there you couldn't help but wonder about the wizard Merlin and if it was true about him having an apprenticee. Even even storing about Morgana seemed way too good to be true. How cool would it have been to be alive in that era! Watching brave knights and seeing magic first hand. Perhaps they even had monsters-

Your thoughts were cut off by you colliding with something. You stumbled back managing to take a fall. Did you run into a pole somehow? Groaning you opened your eyes to see a hand stretched out towards you. It belonged to a man. One with black hair and blue tips. Hesitantly you took it and he helped pull you up on your feet. Offering you a smile and a pat on the head he apologized. "Terribly sorry about that little lady, you should always watch where you're going." Perhaps it was your fault. You were too focused on daydreaming instead of looking where you were going.

"Its my fault. I wasn't paying attention." You nodded as your eyes darted down to his hand. What an interesting watch he was wearing. It almost seemed as if it was glowing. Looking down at your own wrist you grew surprised and started walking again. "Thank you for the help. I've got to get going." You waved at him before picking up your pace. Your parents weren't fans of you going out into town during the night so you needed to make it home quick before it got too dark out for you to come back to the bookstore.

After your arrival home you spent an hour searching for anything that mentioned this wizard Merlin. You came up empty handed. There was a lot of information about the battle at Camelot but most of it was centered around the King and what he had done. About his knights and even mentioned him having a sister. But there was absolutely nothing to be found about wizards. Sighing you let your head hit your desk. Books would be your only answer now. History required a lot of reading and you were much better processing information given to you orally. It's not that you found books boring it's just that when it came to history it was extremely extensive and there were oh so many details. It gave you a headache and after a while you could barely remember the key details.

Grabbing your house keys you told your father that you wouldn't be out too late and that you would only be going around the block to the bookstore. He was wary at first but as soon as he heard that it was for a school project he relaxed. Ah yes adults and their 'school is everything' mindset. He told you to be safe and you laughed at the comment once you walked out the door. This is Arcadia. The townsfolk might as well be invincible at this point. The amount of damages this place has seen and the way that everyone just becomes immune to it at some point is honestly astounding.

As you swung open the door of the bookstore that was about 2 blocks from your home you smiled as the scent of books hit your nose. A lot of people you knew found the scent suffocating or have told you that it made then sneeze. It didn't bother you at all in that aspect.

The front desk was right ahead and you didn't see anyone there so you took it upon yourself to browse. Who ever was working this shift had to have known a customer came. The door had a little bell that rang when you entered. It was odd that there weren't any alphabetical organization of the books so that meant the workers probably knew where everything was by memory. It would be a pain to fire someone and have to teach a new worker where everything was. You knew for a fact that if you worked here you would be absolutely lost when it came to the whereabouts of any book here.

You were heading into another aisle and stopped once you saw one of the workers. He was on a ladder putting up some of the books. You couldn't see his face but for some odd reason you look familiar. Then you realized it once you saw him reaching to put a book back in place. The weird watch on his arm, that was the man you ran into just an hour ago. What a coincidence that he worked here at the bookstore. "You!" Pointing your finger at him you watched as he screamed and lost his balance. Resulting in him falling off the ladder. You wanted to move and help him but you could only watch in fear as the ladder tipped over as well. It could have crushed him if he didn't move out of the way fast enough. You watched as this man rolled over out of the way and laid there on his back panting. "I've never felt that frightened since I dropped from the sky."

What was he talking about. Nervously walking over you glance over at the ladder then at him. You didn't mean to cause so much harm. What if he hurt his ankle really badly? Or dislocated something. "Sorry mister." You said offering a weak smile and an outstretched hand.

"Not mister." He groaned accepting your hand as you pulled him up. Dusting off his clothes he looked down at you. "Just Douxie." He said before moving to pick the ladder back up. While he leaned it against the bookshelf you wondered why his name had a familiar ring to it. Douxie.... it was quite unique, almost old fashioned. If that was his full name you knew for sure it was at least French in origin. Doux meant soft or sweet in the language. And the -ie ending just made you giggle. His name could be translated to sweetie or softie. Judging by his appearance that was probably not something he would enjoy being called.

"Softie huh?" You chuckled. He turned to walk over to you with a face full of confusion.

"What?" He asked. Douxie was really wondering what had made you laugh. All he did was say his name. He's gotten weird looks before because of it and the occasional "Did your mother really name you that?" But he never saw a problem with it. His name was definitely rare but even he has heard some names that would put his to shame. He prefers going by Douxie instead of his full name because well he was no longer living in the 12th century and well 21st century people can be cruel. Especially kids like you.

"Doux in french can mean sweet or soft. I think it fits you well." You were obviously teasing him.

"It's short for Hisirdoux." Douxie rolled his eyes and tapped his foot. "I thought you would've taken my advice the last time we spoke." He chuckled. "Now then what brings you to my humble shop?" He asked mentioning for you to follow him.

Your feet were moving slowly as you followed him. Your mind however was raging. Did he just say his name was short for Hisirdoux? That was not a common name in any way, shape, or form and if he was telling you he shared the same name with a wizard you needed information about you'd be lying if you said you weren't bouncing around right now.

He seemed to have noticed your current state of excitement and decided to address it. He couldn't recall saying anything that would've resulted in you staring up at him like he saved the universe or something. Granted, he has but it's not like you would've known about it. "What is it?" He asked slowly, knowing that the last time he asked this question it was only met with a silly remark.

"Your name is Hisirdoux?" You asked once for confirmation and he nodded. Clapping you gently gripped his arm. "Are you telling me that you share the name with a wizard that may have been around in the 12th century and may have been involved in the battle for Camelot? Not to mention the apprentice of a wizard named Merlin?!" Your eyes were huge now. Douxie thinks they resembled a chameleon's but that wouldn't be very nice to say to a girl. Besides how did you even know about him. He wasn't in the history books. No, that was just Arthur and maybe a bit of Morgana. Merlin also wasn't involved in too many stories read by humans. The only people that knew about him nowadays were Jim, Claire, Steve, and the other kids that were mixed up in the time travel drama. Anyone else was probably familiar with magic or was someone who knew of his master's death.

Anyway, you knew quite a bit and it could potentially be disastrous if the Arcane order were to find you. The possibility is slim to none but that didn't mean it couldn't happen. He just couldn't let you run around saying that you met a wizard, not that you could prove it, but it would be better for him to diffuse this situation now. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Douxie hummed as he attempted to lean on the wall casually. He accidentally tripped on the broom but managed to settle himself on the wall despite it.

"Oh Douxie I was supposed to tell you that Merlin-" a voice said but came to a stop. You and Douxie looked up to see a a flying cat descend to the floor. You were quite shocked but this had to mean that you were right. No ordinary librarian had a talking and flying cat with glasses. Besides he said Merlin's name too. There was no way he was getting out of this.

There really was no way douxie was getting out of this. Dragging his hands down his face he gave a glare to Archie who immediately stopped flying and instead meowed. As if that would help him. You've already interrogated him and managed to witness his non human best friend who happened to be a familair talking and flying. Maybe he should just resort to answering your questions after all. It didn't seem like you would leave empty handed. Besides he was curious about how much you knew too. Beckoning you to follow him you smiled as the cat brushed between your legs and moved to catch up to Douxie.

He guided you to a table and pulled out your chair before sitting in the one opposite from you. Resting his chin in his palms you stared at one another. He looked tired. There were literal bags under his eyes and- oh he just yawned. Now that you were actually face to face with him you were sort of nervous. Sure he may seem cool on the outside but he was still a wizard who lived this long. Maybe he sacrificed kids for his immortality. Just then his cat nudged his foot and he sat up straight. The guy was totally dozing off. In Douxie's defense he was too busy saving Arcadia to think about regulating his sleep schedule, not to mention the fact that he had like three part time jobs and also needed to continue his wizard studies while protecting Nari.

You offered a smile and he rubbed his eyes. Oh yeah, you were supposed to be having a conversation. Archie jumped into his lap and he gently stroked his friend while he spoke. "As you have somehow figured out. My name is Hisirdoux Casperan and yes I'm a wizard. This is my Archie, he's a familiar and my best friend who can also shape shift. You're correct about my involvement in the war and being Merlin's apprentice but how in the world do you know all of this?" He was curious as to why this kid was sitting in his bookstore at 7pm inquiring about his old life in Camelot.

When you inhaled Douxie had expected a brief response not a full on ramble. "Okay so my teacher started telling us about Camelot and the battle. He said you were there and your master too! That the two of you helped greatly and there was something about the King's evil sister but he couldn't get into all the details because well it's a research project. What kind of research project would this be if he just gave us all the answers, you know? Anyway everyone else thinks he's making it all up but I'm totally going to get the best score because I've actually met a wizard!"

Douxie only nodded slowly to show that he had in fact heard you. Did he understand? A little your words were way too jumbled and he swore he heard something about a sea search? Who knows the main point was that your teacher had told you all about this and from the looks of it the rest of your classmates. Definitely alarming, he was a bit worried that someone else out there knew the truth of what happened. Someone that wasn't directly involved. He just hoped that the information he gave to you wouldn't be used recklessly. By the sound of it the rest of your classmates would rule it off as some piece of fiction and maybe, just maybe your teacher would think it was ridiculous too. The latter seemed the most difficult.

Now it was his turn to riddle off information. He started simply from the beginning about how he became Merlin's apprentice then went on to talk about the battle, how he got his cool staff, Merlin's unfortunate death and what happened with Atthur and Morgana. He left out Nari for obvious reasons and the fact that a few of your classmates may have been involved. You don't need all of those details for your report after all.

You were thrilled really that not only was a master wizard sitting in front of you but the whole story checked out and you were glad you asked for that pen and paper earlier. Not only did you get to witness his magic but it also allowed you to write down everything important. "Its a shame really." You hummed.

Archie had long gone off to take his nap not feeling very up to listening to the retelling of incidents. Truthfully he didn't want to be reminded about Merlin's death again. Douxie had to hold himself together as well when he mumbled out the fact that his master had died. He still blames himself and sometimes he gets nightmares but he shouldn't dwell on that right now. "What is?" He asked watching you scratch down sloppy notes.

Sighing you placed your pen down gently on the paper as your eyes ran over the text before peeking up at the guy before you. "That someone as great as you didn't make the history books."

It grew silent and you stayed quiet as you watched the look of uncertainty on his face. In the past 30 minutes of sitting in this bookstore you've learned that Hisidoux Casperan was probably one of the greatest people you've ever met by chance. He basically saved the world and nobody even knew. He was so...normal. It was difficult to believe he had been alive for 919 years now. Sure he had an extensive vocabulary filled with British slang and words that date back centuries but he fit into the mold of the 21st century so well. You guessed that's why no one was able to find out about his secret. He was great at adapting.

Hisirdoux didn't exactly understand where you were coming from. He's told you the story you wanted to hear. He thought the hero was painted as clear as day. His master Merlin. Even if you didn't pick up on that it seemed a bit farfetched for you to assume that he was the hero of this story. He wanted to tell you that you've got it all wrong. That he had no place in those books your school deemed mandatory. But you interrupted him before he could speak.

"It's alright." You said standing up while collecting your paper. "Even when the years go by I'll surely remember the master wizard. The apprentice who became a legend. I'll write this down someday, that way your legacy won't be lost." You moved towards the door as you spoke and he followed after you. Interested in what you were saying. "I'll call it the Tales of Hisirdoux." A goofy grin made its way on your face. "What do you think?" You turned back to get his response.

Shaking his head with a smile he opened the door for you. "I think it'll be a best seller some day. Just make sure you pass your report first."

"It's a research paper." You rolled your eyes playfully.

"Uh huh.....there's a difference?" Douxie asked trying to blink the sleepiness away as he yawned.

"I can forgive that. Only because you're really old." You teased giving him a peace sign when you bid him farewell and hurried back home. Your parents would freak but hey at least you were being assured an A.

Douxie watched you leave before shutting the door. "What an interesting kid." He thought aloud.

Douxie wrestled with the doorknob to his apartment. He didn't know why they needed so many locks. If the Arcane Order showed up they most likely wouldn't stop to pick it. They'd probably just knock the blasted door down. But Alas, his familiar wanted to make sure Nari was safe from New York thieves, as if he couldn't handle one or two himself. Finally getting it opened he entered then kicked it closed. "Archie did you leave any pizza for Nari and me? You know I'm running low on money and-" he was taking off his shoes when he felt a spike in magic. How did he not notice it before he came in? He was on high alert as he slowly looked up. There was Archie, Nari, and some random girl standing in his kitchen obviously interrupted from their precious conversation.

"Douxie!" The girl smiled as she came charging towards him. Did he know her? Crushing him in a hug he felt the remaining life drain from him in an instant. He was already tired from working at the pizzeria downtown and the subway ride back had him in shambles. Seriously, how could you just allow your baby to wail like that? He would've moved but that would be considered rude and there weren't any empty seats. The last thing he wanted to do was squeeze himself under five other people holding onto one pole.

"Okay okay you're squeezing the daylights out of me." He muttered gently pushing the girl back.

"You don't sound so happy to see me. I mean for someone that's writing a book about your legacy you would think I'd get a hug back or I don't know a hello?" You huffed crossing your arms over your chest and turning your head.

Hisirdoux was beyond confused. With a raised eyebrow and a familiar that was expecting him to say something he took another look at you and sighed. "Alright love, just tell me who you are, why you're in my apartment, and if you're just here to lead the Arcane Order to us don't you think you could have done this earlier in the day to save me the trouble of going to work?" Originally he thought that maybe Nari had gone from collecting plants to collecting New Yorkers but with the magic radiating from you he knew it was a little unrealistic.

It was your turn to be confused. "Arcane Order?" You repeated. Who the hell was that? Glancing down to Archie who was no longer sitting on the countertop but rather brushing past your legs you smiled.

"Hisirdoux, since you're not aware this is y/n, from Arcadia." He spoke as he pushed his glasses back. Nari had soon joined your side as well looking ecstatic to see a new face.

Arcadia? The only kids he knew from Arcadia was the trollhunters gang and that little girl who-

Wait.

You were that little girl?!

You laughed as his sudden realization affected his expression. He didn't have droopy eyelids anymore and wasn't standing like he was about to pass out from exhaustion. No matter how long he's lived he still can't sleep regularly. You sighed internally. Would you end up like him too? "Y/n L/n." You stuck your hand out. "Perhaps I didn't state my name when I pestered you three years ago."

Douxie accepted your hand shake before shuffling over to the couch. You followed him and took a seat as he did. Archie had curled up on his lap and Nari wormed her way beside you. His couch was fit for two people but Nari was smaller than you were so she managed to fit fine. "What brings you to New York y/n?" The wizard asked as he stared at the television. It seemed that after he realized you weren't a threat his tired mood had made a reappearance.

"I'm going to NYU this year and a certain sorceress mentioned that you were in New York so I decided to drop by." You answered. Honestly, you had wished to see Douxie after you turned in your research report but it had been too late. You weren't able to see him on that day or the next. It took a month before you went back to the bookstore and by then he had already up and left according to Claire.

Douxie looked at you with one eyebrow raised as if he wasn't buying anything you said. "Okay fine! I'm not lying about NYU by the way but last year I started noticing weird stuff happening." You looked down at your hands then back up at your friend. He was urging you to continue. "Something dark had been following me around. I have no idea what it was or who it was until it attacked me. I managed to run away at least I thought I did but this thing cornered me. I must have gotten so scared to the point that I blasted it." A yellow ball of light shone in your palm. "I've never done anything like that before and I was scared it would return so I tried my best to read some of those books you left lying around in the bookstore. The ones about magic. When I learned a few basic spells I knew it wouldn't be enough to protect my family so I decided to track you down. So here I am." The glowing light came to a stop.

Douxie was thinking. Something attacked you, something that scared you to the point you unleashed magic you never knew you had. It could only be the Arcane Order but why would they come after you? Was it possible that they already knew about your powers? Dragging his hand down his face he yawned. "How about you get some sleep and we talk about this later?" You suggested.This man looked exhausted. Archie had briefly mentioned that Douxie worked all the way across town from where they live at a pizza parlour during the weekdays on top of another job at a fish market down the block on the weekends all while tackling odd jobs and making sure there was a protection spell around the apartment at all times. No wonder he was drained.

"No no it's okay." Another yawn escaped and you stood up only to grab a blanket and drape it over him.

"Master wizards need their energy." You reminded him as he settled into the couch.

"But-"

"Don't but anything me Douxie. I'll make sure to leave out the fact that you're sleep deprived in the book. Don't want the kids thinking they can do anything without needing a good night's rest." You said using your magic to turn down the television. It was five in the afternoon now, you could just hang out with Nari and Archie until he woke up.

Hisirdoux reminded himself to offer you some of the pizza in the fridge whenever he woke up. You decided to continue your conversation from earlier with Archie and Nari back in the kitchen. "Are you going to ask him?" Nari asked as she tended to her plants.

"I don't know. He has a lot on his plate right now I don't think I want to add more. Besides what if he says no? What do I do then just go back to my ordinary life and hope that thing doesn't find me?" You opened the fridge to help yourself to whatever they had. To your amusement they had pizza. Knowing this family's circumstances it would be best to leave them with what they have but Archie was currently begging you to put him out of his misery. They had been eating pizza for about a month now and no matter the different toppings the smell of it alone was dreadful. Archie was quite glad that Douxie didn't come home with a box today.

"Douxie may be busy but he's not heartless. Now that he knows you're in danger and this may be linked to the Arcane Order the chances of him saying yes outweigh the chances of him saying no." Archie riddled off. It sounded like he was scolding you but you knew he was just looking out for you. Pouting you threw a slice on a plate and stuck it in the microwave for a minute.

"Who's this Arcane Order anyway?" You grumbled. If they even made Douxoe scared then they were a big deal. The wizard was a bit of scaredy cat though so maybe he was just in his head again. You think he would've improved in three years. You watched as Archie stretched out his back and Nari tried to shush you. Weird. Even they seemed to be on edge and well Nari was a literal goddess was she not? And Archie was a cat who could speak! Okay he was a really powerful familiar who took on the form of a feline but still. Grabbing your pizza from the microwave you desperately blew on it.

"A group of very evil people who ate after Nari. Before Merlin died he trusted Hisirdoux with protecting her." Archie said hopping off the counter and onto the floor.

You almost dropped your hot pizza out of shock. The greatest wizard is dead? "H-how long has he been...you know?" You asked as Nari picked up Archie and stroked him gently.

"About 3 years." The girl said with a sad smile. "Merlin gave his life to protect me and it's the last thing I want Douxie to do." She glanced over at his body now sprawled out on the couch as light snores could be heard.

"3 years?" You spoke in disbelief. That meant he would've died around the time you first met him. That was when you realized that he had never strayed from telling the story of Camelot those years ago. He didn't give you the luxury of extra details he kept it simple and straightforward. Not spending too much time on Merlin and Morgana's personalities in fact he would somehow direct the conversation back to you and your childish enthusiasm about the tale. Allowing you to add your own input. You suppose he's been on the Earth long enough to know how to build people's narratives. Besides you wouldn't have noticed it then, you were merely a child. One that had no idea about the mess she was getting into. You took a bite of your pizza and sighed. That cool wizard you met 3 years ago was just a guy stuck in some eternal time loop with his cat and adopted sister. Running from danger while working too many jobs and not getting enough rest. You were seriously contemplating not going to college to help him out.

Okay so what you met some weird wizard three years ago on a whim but now that you had magical powers maybe you could assist him in some way. He wouldn't have to be living on a prayer anymore. You could help him take down those bad guys and then he wouldn't have to stay in hiding like this. He would be safe to roam the world along with Nari and Archie. If he was in your place you think he'd do the same. He is awfully selfless. To the point that you knew he was planning on giving his own life during the Camelot battle. It still chills you to this day to think about it. Maybe you would take that offer the familiar was pushing you towards. Archie and Nari were staring at you worriedly. You did basically stop talking.

With the last bite of your pizza you stepped forward with a grin. "I'll do it. I'll ask Douxie to be my mentor and I'll help him fight the Arcane Order!" You declared loudly. Nari had accidentally dropped Archie when she went to clap. A hiss came from Archie as he was about to mouth her off.

"I'm trying to sleep!" Douxie slurred from the couch. You wondered if he was conscious enough to know what you were saying.

"Sorry master" you chuckled alongside Archie and Nari.

#douxie #hisirdoux casperan #toa hisirdoux #hisirdoux x reader #wizards tales of arcadia #archie #nari #douxie x reader

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little-ligi · 3 years

Text

Febuwhump - No.3

No.3 - Imprisonment Fandom - BBC Merlin Wordcount - 1450 @febuwhump

It was dark. Cold. All he could hear was the wind whistling through the bars and the scrabble of a rat somewhere in the cell near him.

Merlin pulled his legs up to his chest, hugging them tightly and trying to pull his jacket around them as much as possible, huddling under the thin fabric. He was lucky he even still had his jacket. The guards had stripped him of his boots and socks and he could barely feel his toes anymore. He supposed it was to deter him from trying to run away. Well, he definitely wouldn’t be running anywhere, that was for sure. He doubted he could even stand with how weak he was feeling.

Continue reading on Ao3, FF.net or below! 👇

He’d lost count of the days, but it had certainly been over a week since he had been given any proper food. Once or twice he’d been given mouldy bread but not every day. A waterskin was shoved through the bars of his cell twice a day but that was all.

Every time he saw the flicker of torchlight as the guard with the water came down the tunnel to the door of his cell, Merlin’s heart would give a hopeful little jump, praying for it to be Arthur bearing the torch and coming to get him.

But each time it was like a punch to the gut when the waterskin was thrown unceremoniously across the straw-strewn stone floor towards him. And then the guard would leave, taking the light along with Merlin’s hope and another shred of his sanity.

After so long stuck in this godforsaken hell, Merlin had almost given up. Not looking up when the flames of the torch arrived, not even shielding his head when the guard swung the hilt of his sword at him as he picked up the empty waterskin. He’d been here too long. If Arthur was looking for Merlin, surely he would have found him by now.

He resigned himself to the inevitable truth. Arthur wasn’t coming.

He’d seen Merlin doing magic. He’d seen Merlin doing magic and now he wasn’t going to rescue him. He would leave him to rot in this dungeon under Cenred’s castle.

Merlin’s cold fingers fiddled with the cork he’d pulled from the waterskin. He’d been trying to magically turn it into a key or a weapon or even a messenger bird. But his magic seemed to have drained away. His power reserves as empty as his stomach. He couldn’t even manage a small light.

The cuffs chaining his hands together weren’t making it any easier. They were tight around his wrists, almost too tight and they chafed badly, pinching his skin any time he moved his hands. They felt eerily cold as well, like they were sucking the heat from him, sucking the strength from him.

He put his head down on his knees, letting his eyes droop closed. He’d even run out of tears.

The scuffle of the rat moving around near him drew his attention. He turned his head towards the noise, imagining the little creature digging in the straw on the floor.

“Hello friend,” he rasped and felt it scratch and tug at the edge of his jacket, chewing at the dirty fabric.

He tried to not think about how hungry the rat probably was. Would it try to eat him as he sat here helplessly? And then he thought about how hungry he was. His stomach ached. He’d eaten rat before… He’d made Arthur eat it before. But he shouldn’t think about Arthur.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered to the rat and muttered a spell. It did nothing. His wrists were painful in the cuffs and they seemed to feel colder all of a sudden. He tried the spell again, but it still did nothing and the rat continued biting at his jacket.

He put his head back down again, squeezing his eyes shut and willing his magic to flood his mind and help him. He couldn’t even feel the normally constant hum of it deep within him. It was as still and silent as the dungeon around him.

A distant noise seemed to startle the rat and it squeaked and scurried away. Merlin sighed. He was all alone again.

Or perhaps not. The noise that had scared the rat was someone coming down the corridor towards his cell.

The flicker of their torchlight shone too brightly for Merlin’s dark-accustomed eyes, making him flinch and bury his face in his arms. He must have been drifting in and out of consciousness without realising, because it seemed far too early for the guard to be bringing him water again.

The footsteps were hurried, not like the slow plod of the usual guard. And then there was a clatter of the torch being dropped as the person snatched at the bars, rattling the door.

Merlin peered up, but the light was still too piercing for his eyes to be able to make out the person furiously attacking the lock on the door. After a few seconds there was a crunching click as the lock was forced open and the door was thrown wide, sending a draft of cold air washing over Merlin. He shivered and shrank back, huddling away from the figure that leant down over him.

“Merlin? Are you alright?”

His neck cracked as he whipped his head up, eyes going wide as they landed on the glint of chainmail and the gleam of blond hair in the torchlight.

“Arthur!”

Arthur was trying to pull him to his feet, his hands frantically running up and down Merlin’s arms to try and warm him up. Merlin leant against him, staring up at Arthur’s concerned face to convince himself this was really happening.

“I’ve been looking for you for weeks!” Arthur pulled him into a hug and Merlin’s head reeled.

This couldn’t be real. Arthur wouldn’t hug him. Not after learning who Merlin really was. Arthur would surely want to kill him. He was a sorcerer. He’d lied to his king.

“Why didn’t you use… m-” Arthur stuttered, a frown pulling his eyebrows down as he glanced away from Merlin. “Magic?”

“I can’t,” Merlin rasped. “It won’t work for me.”

Arthur looked horrified, then snatched at Merlin’s arm, raising it so he could look at the cuffs on Merlin’s wrists, bringing the torch closer. The metal was covered with runes.

“Magic suppressing iron…” Arthur breathed, his voice shifting from shock to anger. “They know you’re a… that you have…?” It was like he couldn’t bring himself to admit Merlin’s secret. As if saying it out loud made it worse.

“They must do…” Merlin whispered.

“Then you’re in even more danger. Come on.” He pulled Merlin to him with an arm around his waist and began helping him hobble out of the cell.

Merlin’s feet screamed with pain but he did his best to keep moving, letting Arthur take some of his weight.

“I can’t take the cuffs off,” Arthur said as he hurried them along the corridor. He shot Merlin a look but Merlin’s fogged mind had trouble interpreting it – was it apologetic? Or reproachful? Was Arthur going to keep him chained? Keep his magic suppressed? Keep him imprisoned even after he had been freed from the cell?

Panic filtered back into Merlin’s mind. For even if he was out of the prison, out of that hellhole, he wouldn’t be completely free until he could feel his magic warming him from the inside again.

Merlin staggered to keep up with Arthur’s hurried pace, trying not to flinch whenever Arthur swung his sword close to him as he kept an eye on their surroundings.

“Hopefully Gaius can get them off once we’ve got you home.”

“What?” Merlin stammered. He couldn’t concentrate, his heart hammering against his ribs almost too painful to bear.

“The cuffs. These types of suppressors have to be taken off carefully so they don’t hurt the sorcerer,” Arthur said through gritted teeth, pointedly not looking at Merlin as he said the word sorcerer.

Merlin’s knees gave out. Arthur was worried about hurting him. He didn’t want to keep him chained and powerless. He felt tears flood his eyes and cascade down his face.

“Thank you,” he breathed, probably not even loud enough for Arthur to hear, but Arthur held onto him tightly nevertheless.

Giving up trying to keep Merlin on his painful feet Arthur lifted him, easily tossing him over his shoulder and Merlin could do nothing to stop him. He clung to the back of Arthur’s chainmail until the rings dug into his palms.

Arthur was helping him. Arthur knew he had magic and was still helping him. Maybe he would accept Merlin’s magic after all.

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday3 #imprisonment #bbc merlin #fanfiction #merlin whump #merlin #arthur pendragon #ligi writes

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newleafover · 3 years

Note

YIPPEE!! And happy birthday eve, I definitely have a moodboard all set for ya, lmao--anyway, PROMPTS, I would love ennnnn-EEEE-thing Merlin, and I'm kind of the worst at prompts, so let's go with a classic fic trope, could be canon or AU (and for all I know, this already happened, I'm still in season one, help), but fake dating!!!

You are the best!! Fake dating ahead :)) sorry it takes place in like s4 so it might seem crazy to you? I hope you like it anyways!

Merlin’s not one hundred percent sure why he brought it up in the first place. Sometimes it’s hard to tell exactly why what comes out of his mouth comes out of his mouth. Is it flat-out self-flagellation? Aimlessly complaining because it’s one of the few powers he is able to exert over their shared space without giving everything away? Testing the waters of just how much Arthur understands what goes on between men sharing sheets--generally speaking, that is?

“It was sweet, the first couple of times,” Merlin goes on, as Arthur’s silence stretches on. Is he upset with him? Annoyed? Incapable of following what he’s talking about? Merlin will keep talking until they both figure out the purpose of this conversation. “But it’s every single time he gets drunk. I can’t get a word in edgewise without him sloshing onto my shoulder and offering, ‘If you ever change your mind,’ and then winking at me.”

Arthur is staring down at the same square inch of parchment he’s been staring at for five minutes, pretending to read but very clearly paying close attention to Merlin’s tale of Gwaine’s drunken propositions. Any minute now, he’s going to sigh and suggests that Merlin spend less time at the tavern if he wants to avoid Drunk Gwaine, and then actually start reading. Merlin’s almost one hundred percent sure of it. He can read the tension in Arthur’s shoulders like others read runes.

But even the most powerful sorcerers are wrong sometimes. “That is behavior unbefitting of a knight,” Arthur says, his jaw firm and twitching, and Merlin was not prepared for the weakness in his knees he gets sometimes when Arthur tries to act like Merlin needs his protection.

Merlin stops swooning just in time to realize he’s jumping to conclusions and might have to scramble to save Gwaine’s job. He looks up from where he’s making the bed. “When you say it’s unbefitting, do you mean the relentless persistence bit? Or the other bit?”

Surprisingly, Arthur has still not started ignoring him or telling him to shut up. His jaw twitches again. “What men do without coercion I have no quarrel with,” Arthur says, in much loftier words than Merlin has come to expect from their afternoon chats while working in the same room.

Merlin refuses to get his hopes up and believe that means that Arthur has ever willingly thought about two men together in anything but the most abstract way. “He’s not coercing me,” Merlin says, just to be extra clear that coercion would not need to be involved, that Merlin has frequently willingly thought about two men together in concrete ways. “It’s really actually very nice of him. He’s got it in his head that I need to get over an unrequited love, and thinks he can help.”

Arthur is now tossing an apple up in the air and catching it, apparently having given up on working. His jaw’s still twitching, though. “Who is this unrequited love?”

Merlin smiles. He has countless theories about why Arthur would feel compelled to ask such a question, but he’s almost certain that Arthur is unaware of all of them. “Oh, Gwaine’s convinced that I only fall for complete prats who’ll never be good enough for me,” Merlin half-answers. “He won’t rest until I demonstrate good taste in…” He trails off, because implying things instead of saying them out loud is how he gets through every day.

Arthur eats the apple and they don’t speak of it for the rest of the afternoon. Merlin smiles privately to himself, proud as ever to know that Arthur is now more likely to think about two men kissing than he was a couple of hours prior.

“Would a Crown Prince do?” Arthur asks cryptically the next morning, after Merlin has finished dressing him.

“Do what?”

Arthur rolls his eyes, as if Merlin’s the ridiculous one for not being able to keep up with a conversation that sprang from nowhere. “You can tell Gwaine you love someone who loves you back and that it’s the Crown Prince of Camelot. Surely that will convince him you’ve developed good taste in men.”

Merlin is holding out Arthur’s sword, and its weight might be the only thing keeping him from tipping over. He feels suddenly very dizzy and confused. He thinks he just heard Arthur offer to let the whole kingdom believe that he’s sleeping with his manservant.

Merlin manages to shut out the needy, ridiculous, and vulnerable thoughts rallying for his attention and focuses on one that’s easier to stomach. The one about Arthur’s infuriating obsession with self-sacrifice. It’s a horrible obsession. Gets them into so much trouble. Or rather, gets Arthur into so much trouble, which Merlin then has to get him out of. Merlin hates it. He’s also in love with it.

“He’d never believe me,” he hears himself say. It would probably be something like clever, if there had been any forethought behind it.

Arthur hasn’t taken the sword that Merlin is holding out for him. In fact, Arthur is on the other side of the room, counting keys on a ring, which means either that Arthur is putting off coming close to him, or that Merlin has lost track of their morning routine and is exhausting his arms extending the sword for no reason. Before he can decide which is the case, Arthur says, “We’ll make him believe it,” and Merlin’s thoughts turn swimmy for a long while after that.

Merlin can’t quite find a suitable objection to kissing Arthur.

Telling him he doesn’t need to make this sacrifice would only make Arthur more adamant about doing it.

Supporting Arthur’s alternative plan, which is telling Gwaine himself that he’s courting Merlin, is absolutely out of the question because there’s no way Gwaine wouldn’t use the opportunity to tell Arthur every mortifying detail of how pitifully in love with him Merlin has been for years.

Telling Arthur that he doesn’t want to do it because he’s in love with someone and it would be a betrayal won’t work either, because it will take Arthur only one or two follow-up questions to figure out that he is the one Merlin has been pitifully in love with for years.

The problem is that Merlin’s fairly sure that if he kisses Arthur, it will be obvious very quickly that he’s been pitifully in love with him for years.

But only one of those regrettable scenarios results in both a kiss and Gwaine finally, probably, shutting up, and so Merlin just hopes Arthur’s blind, stubborn stupidity will hold fast.

“Go and fetch Sir Gwaine,” Merlin hears Arthur say out the door to someone in the corridor.

When Arthur comes back into his chambers, all Merlin can look at is his mouth. His wide, pink, chapped mouth, which he has never kissed before. Which he will have kissed, after today. Which he will have to live with the memory of from now until the distant day in the future when Arthur will finally realize that they’re destined to be together, that Merlin has been his magical protector this whole time, that magic is good, and that he’s in love with Merlin, too.

“Right,” Arthur sighs, verbally steadying one or both of them as he steps to the middle of the room, where Merlin stands, waiting, staring at the gentle slope of the lips that won’t really be his to kiss for a long time still.

The silence between them as they stand is so heavy and breathless that Merlin loses track of time. They’d thought it out, guessed that it would take between four and fourteen minutes for Gwaine to be found and brought back to the royal chambers. That meant that at any time between four and fourteen minutes, if they heard the sounds of Gwaine approaching, they would have to start kissing.

Merlin suspects that four minutes have gone by, but he can’t be sure. There’s no sound of footsteps yet, and he doesn’t know why he hadn’t realized how stressful it would be once the four-minute mark passed, when they couldn’t do anything but wait, because they had to be ready to be caught kissing at a moment’s notice. Every single little flutter of the wind at the windows, every crash of armor down in the courtyard below, even the thundering beat of Merlin’s heart is loud enough to jolt him into thinking, This is it. Merlin’s chest flickers like so much unsteady flame, ready to be put out or fanned to life. Arthur’s shoulders twitch, falling like runes Merlin’s too preoccupied to read.

“What’s taking so long?” Arthur asks, in a voice so low it’s soft. He’s probably complaining out of irritation, but the words land sweetly on Merlin’s lips, as close to whispering as he ever gets.

“Patience is a virtue,” Merlin replies, managing to put on a smile and then finding it naturally takes over his entire face.

“Maybe there’s been some miscommunication.” Arthur looks antsy enough to burst out of his skin or start pacing violently around the room, but either of those options would endanger their plan, and no one could ever accuse Arthur of being undisciplined.

Merlin’s gaze has dropped to the open laces of Arthur’s shirt, where the skin is soft and warm with muscle, and dusted with fine hairs Merlin has felt by accident before, but never by intent to touch. He does not give a response, because he’s already forgotten what Arthur said.

The sound of footsteps echoes just outside the door. Merlin’s heart leaps into his throat. Arthur’s eyes fly open wide, and he steps even closer, but not so close that his image goes blurry, not so close that they’re touching with anything but their breath and the toes of their boots. Arthur’s eyes search his, looking for answers, or consent, possibly, but Merlin is too consumed by his consent to be able to communicate it. Merlin parts his lips leans in close, waits for the footsteps to slow down as they approach the door, breathes in the tang of Arthur’s breath, and—

The footsteps continue past the door and begin to fade.

Merlin’s heartbeat, in contrast, does not quiet in the least. He lets out a gulping sound that’s half-laughter, half-drowning, because Arthur’s staring at his mouth, as if he’s struggling with the frustrated anticipation as well, and it should be funny, or victorious, but it’s mostly just overwhelming. It’s one thing to know Arthur has committed to kissing him. It’s another thing to feel that commitment, to see it, to sense it like a tingling on his lips, in these brief moments before Arthur will inevitably realize that his commitment is not required just yet, because Gwaine has not yet arrived.

Merlin wishes Arthur would say something to break up the iced-over moment. He’s about to say something himself, but then another set of footsteps approaches. Merlin’s too overwhelmed to do a single thing, and Arthur doesn’t appear to be able to move, either. They might as well have been enchanted into stone, but for the flutter of pulse at the collar of Arthur’s shirt and the trembling hold of his breath beneath his sternum.

It feels like doom. Like fate. They’re going to just stand here, while Gwaine walks in and sees nothing they’d planned for him to see. They must just stand here, because if this set of footsteps is just like the last and simply fades away and isn’t Gwaine, then they can’t kiss, not yet, because then they would just be kissing, without prompt or time constraint or reason, without anything but the swift tumble of their pulses to drive them.

The second set of footsteps disappears into the distance. Merlin’s breath catches as he tries to brace himself for the agonizing prospect of yet another person coming who may or may not be Gwaine, since apparently this corridor has far more foot traffic than he ever realized.

But the hall is quiet, he thinks, for now, unless he’s deafened by the rush of blood in his ears, which isn’t quelled at all by the way Arthur’s looking at him.

His stomach twists and turns when the third set of footsteps starts outside the door, much too light and flighty to be Gwaine, but still, Merlin thinks, what if?, and still, Arthur huffs choppy breaths across his mouth.

Just as the light footsteps start to wander away, Arthur takes hold of Merlin’s face with both hands and drifts closer. Maybe he can’t stand the waiting any longer, either. Maybe he, too, is about to burst if something doesn’t change soon. These are the thoughts flying round Merlin’s head as he struggles to accept the image of Arthur coming ever closer, close enough that he appears blurry, close enough Merlin has to look down at the parted pink of his lips, then close enough he has to shut his eyes, because there’s no one at the door and no one in the hall, and who knows how long they’ll have to keep this up once it’s started, just to make sure Gwaine sees, whenever he does decide to show up.

Merlin sways, held steady by the warm hands at either side of his face, and then Arthur’s lips touch his, tasting every bit as pink, wide, and chapped as Merlin knows they look, but softer than he could ever have imagined.

This is going to be horrible to recover from. I’m not going to survive this, he thinks as he takes Arthur in, fitting their mouths together, pulling in drink after drink and lungful after lungful of him because he doesn’t think he’ll ever feel full.

There might be more footsteps in the hall after that. Merlin loses the ability to care. It takes a lot of focus to meet Arthur’s kisses eagerly and skillfully enough to maybe convince him that maybe they should do this more often, without also kissing him with all his magic, with all the world, with all the love he’s been harboring for years, just waiting for the right moment.

A door opens, somewhere at the edge of Merlin’s awareness. There are voices, but he can’t hear them. Eventually, the door shuts, and still, Arthur holds him close with an arm barred against his back, and with sweet gasping exhalations Merlin can’t resist tasting.

Eventually, Arthur pulls back to rest his forehead on Merlin’s, which is acceptable because Merlin can still taste his panting breaths and feel the clutch of his hand twisting the back of his shirt.

“He’s seen us, now,” Arthur murmurs, while Merlin watches the blurry, too-close but too-far-away shapes his swollen lips make. His stomach unravels itself when he sees how scraped raw his face is. He’s never seen Arthur like that. He’s never seen Arthur after he’s kissed a man. All this time Merlin has spent looking forward to a day of reckoning when he could kiss Arthur, and he never imagined what it would look like, after. All this time, and he never imagined Arthur thinking about kissing him.

“That’s nice,” Merlin says. His hands are tangled in the laces of Arthur’s shirt, and it’s nice.

Arthur’s eyes slide shut, and only flutter slightly when Merlin nudges his nose against his. “You can go back to pining for your unrequited love in peace.”

Merlin tastes the cracks in Arthur’s voice, weighs them on his tongue. “D’you know,” Merlin starts, trying to wait for the settle of Arthur’s shoulders under his palms to guide his fate, but then deciding it’s a waste of time. “I think it might be at least a little bit requited, after all?”

And maybe it’s no grand reckoning where Arthur realizes they’re destined to be together and sees Merlin for the good, powerful sorcerer that he is, but the way Arthur looks at him in that moment feels a lot like magic, all the same.

#my fic #drabbles #merlin #merthur #writing merlin POV was CRAZY #I loved it #how is this almost 3000 words long

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panharmonium · 4 years

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I'm curious if you have any headcanon/any fic plans or just ideas about how Hunith learnt Will knew about Merlin's magic. Sorry if you already talked about it and has slipped out of my attention!

Oh my gosh, any message that asks me about Will or Hunith or Ealdor in any fashion makes me so happy; thank you!

I'll avoid drawing up an outline for an exact scenario, only because I am always writing more fic about Merlin’s pre-Camelot life and if I end up deciding to actually do this in a fic I’ll be mad at myself for already typing it all out in meta XD I will, however, talk about some general thoughts, because I do have solid opinions about certain aspects of this whole thing (all my own, obviously; folks are free to imagine this in different ways - these are just my own personal inferences from the canon we’re given).

Putting this under a cut because it got long - you always write me such detailed notes that I wanted to be thorough! <3

So! Here are some of my thoughts about how Hunith learnt that Will knew about Merlin’s magic.

i. it was not careless.

In my opinion, Will and Merlin, by the age where we meet them in canon, are not out there goofing around with Merlin’s magic in risky ways. It doesn’t make sense for Merlin, who is old enough to understand the dangers to his own life and who is also desperately committed to making sure his mother never finds out that Will is in the know (because Merlin knows it won’t go well), and it definitely doesn’t make sense for Will, who, despite his fanon reputation for mischief, is...not actually shown to be like that in canon.

I talked before in my big meta dump about Will that I very much do not read the “he’s always been a troublemaker” line to be indicative of the “pranks and shenanigans” theme that I tend to see in a lot of fic. The “troublemaker” line, in context, is not referring to Will causing mischief; it’s about Will’s inability to shut his mouth and stop stirring the pot, in the sense of him yelling about stuff that nobody else wants to think about; it’s about him not being able to put his head down and go with the flow. It’s immediately followed by the line “they’re used to ignoring him,” and what we’re being told here is that Will is the cousin who can’t stop himself from getting political at the holiday dinner table even when the rest of the family is begging him to let them have one single meal in peace. He cannot let things go, and the rest of his neighbors are completely sick of it (see: Hunith’s ZERO patience with Will when he challenges Arthur in front of the community).

Canon Will, in contrast to some fanon interpretations, is actually a very intense, guarded person? He’s suspicious and pragmatic and risk-averse. And I just think it’s important to remember that Will, in his current situation, does not have a lot of time to be messing around. He was orphaned and left to run a whole homestead as a child. That’s like...he’s doing the work of an entire family. Life in Ealdor already leaves little room to slack off, and Will is completely overburdened - somebody in his situation would be desperately busy, almost all of the time, and always on the verge of a potential disaster, if he fell behind on anything.

So I just don’t read him as someone who is out doing silly things with Merlin in a way that got them discovered by Hunith. Like - Merlin isn’t careless enough to be goofing off in his own house, for example, and Will isn’t a character who’s daring Merlin to do foolish things for the fun of it. Merlin is comfortable using his magic around Will, definitely, and we know he’s had at least one mishap in the past (the tree), but at this point in their lives, I don’t see either of them as frivolous or clueless enough to use magic in a way that could get them caught by anyone, or for the purpose of risky/trivial games.

ii. merlin was the one who let it slip

I personally think the lead-up to Hunith discovering Will’s involvement was preceded by two things:

an increase in external stressors (related to the political situation between Camelot and Cenred’s kingdom), making Merlin’s position in Ealdor progressively more precarious/dangerous

Merlin becoming increasingly frustrated, rebellious, and unwilling to hide himself the way his mother wanted him to

The first point is something that I've incorporated into fic, so I think @blueclaw7 is already familiar with it :) But essentially, when I was collecting info on Ealdor and Cenred's kingdom prior to a previous fic-writing endeavour, there were a few things that led me to wonder just what sort of trouble was brewing in that corner of the world, prior to Merlin's departure:

We know that Cenred makes agreements with slave traders, allowing them to work certain areas of his land without interference (see: Cenred's discussion with Morgause about Jarl in 3.12 - “He's been working our western border for months...We have an understanding.”) Cenred likely would not allow this unless it benefited him in some way, so I think we can safely assume that he is receiving some sort of kickback from allowing slavers to operate in his kingdom, either in the form of financial compensation or perhaps by having people like Jarl on-call in case Cenred himself needs specific targets rounded up.

We also know that sometime prior to 1.10, Cenred's kingdom and Camelot signed some sort of peace treaty, which according to Uther was “years in the making.” We're not told how long the two kingdoms had been enemies before that, but my personal interpretation is that they have been at odds for a long time, because the peace treaty doesn’t appear to be very successful - by 2.12, Uther says, “Our treaty with Cenred no longer holds. We are at war,” despite the fact that we actually haven't even met Cenred in the show yet and he hasn't attacked Camelot or anything (he doesn't agree to do that until Season 3, when Uther is incapacitated and the kingdom is weak). Uther also later refers to Cenred as Camelot’s “sworn enemy.” So the treaty just appears to have been a temporary, shaky peace between kingdoms that are frequently in conflict, the terms of which we are not privy to.

We know that Uther “offers a handsome reward for anyone with magic” (2.09, when the bounty hunter shows up with Freya), and we know that normal people will turn others over to bounty hunters for their own benefit (“How did he find you?” / “You can't always trust people.”)

We know that Aredian (the witchfinder) has been operating “in foreign lands” (aka, not Camelot).

So, the question I asked myself was this: why would Cenred and Uther even agree to a peace treaty in the first place, when their kingdoms are clearly constantly at odds with one another? And looking at the other tidbits of information above, the framework I constructed for myself was that I personally think part of the aforementioned treaty involves Cenred turning people with magic over to Uther - and perhaps allowing Uther's agents over the border to do their own hunting - in exchange for some kind of compensation (probably financial). We know Cenred is greedy (he's aiming to conquer Camelot even though he is, per his own words, “rich and powerful already”), and we know he canonically has the means to give Uther what he wants (agreements with slave traders working within his borders). And given that the treaty appears to have been a fairly recent development in 1.10, my personal read is that this treaty was signed sometime before Merlin left Ealdor, and that it prompted an uptick in dangerous activity that frightened Merlin's mother and made her more willing to send him away. Bounty hunters nabbing people on the road, slave traders being given the freedom to operate without interference, rumors of single agents like the Witchfinder roaming the countryside - all of this would lead to the far more immediate concern of “what happens if somebody in Ealdor thinks Merlin might be magic and decides to make a quick shilling by turning him in????”

I think that is Hunith's biggest concern. Ealdor is poor. And Merlin himself says his departure was prompted by not being able to trust the people around him. When Freya tells him, “you can't always trust people,” he replies, “I know. That's why I left home.” And if there were suddenly a higher demand for people with magic, due to Cenred and Uther's arrangement, then there would be more incentive for regular people to look for a way they could turn it to their advantage, especially if they've already been conditioned to see magic as an evil/dangerous thing.

I think this leads to Hunith being even more cautious, and putting even tighter restrictions on Merlin re: where he can go and when he can be out and who he can go wandering around with, and even on using magic for little things at home where no one can see. And the problem with this is that Merlin won't tolerate it anymore, not the way he did when he was younger. Not because he doesn't want to listen to her or because he doesn't understand that she's trying to help him, but because he just can't. He can't. It's killing him. He tells Gaius in 1.01, “if I can't use magic, I might as well die,” and that’s not just him being dramatic; he really feels that way. He doesn’t just have magic, he is magic. He can't suppress it that way, without feeling like he's killing himself.

So, to bring us back around to the point of this segment - I think what ends up happening is that Merlin starts pushing back on Hunith’s restrictions, not so he can goof around and do stupid things, but so he can live his life in a way that doesn't make him feel like he's suffocating, so he can just be, without feeling like his entire existence is a crime. I think the increased pressure drives him more and more frequently to Will, the only person around whom Merlin can exist as a complete person, and I think he becomes increasingly resistant to his mother's directives, and I think his mother gets more and more frustrated with him, because she sees it as him needlessly risking his life, but Merlin is tired of hearing that he can't trust anybody, because he CAN trust somebody; he has somebody to trust right now and he’s had them for ages, and he doesn't think things have to be so dire all the time, if his mother would just see that, but she won't -

And then, when his frustration reaches a boiling point, Merlin accidentally spills the beans.

I don't think Hunith walks in on Merlin doing magic in front of Will, personally. I think Merlin slips up and tells her, in the course of their increasingly frequent, tense conflicts between “you can't trust ANYBODY/things are too dangerous” and “i CAN trust somebody/i can’t live like this anymore.”

I think he lets it slip in an argument, as a frustrated justification for “it doesn't have to be like this all the time; things could be better; will's known about it for X years and nothing bad has ever happened to me.”

And then, of course, it goes very, very badly.

Which brings us to Point #3 -

iii. it was a Disaster.

What I mean by this is that Hunith discovering that Will knew about Merlin’s magic was not a chill situation. It did not go over well, and it created an interpersonal crisis between the three of them that persists all the way into 1.10.

We’ve already heard canon confirmation of this - “when she found out you knew, she was SO angry” - and it’s obvious that this conflict was never resolved. I’ve already talked in another post about Hunith’s weird disinterest in/disapproval of Will in favor of Arthur (even after Will’s death!), and Will clearly isn’t feeling very generous with her in 1.10, either - they only interact once, when Hunith snaps at Will to “keep quiet” after he challenges Arthur in front of the village, and after that, they never talk again. They never go anywhere near each other, in fact.

I know fandom likes to headcanon Hunith as the ultimate mom who is super generous with everyone and would instantly adopt all of Merlin’s friends out of an overabundance of motherly love, but 1.10 tells a very different story about her relationship with Will, and it’s clearly not a completely new issue. Merlin knew his mother wouldn’t react well to finding out that he’d shared his secret with Will. It’s why he lied in the first place. Whatever the relationship between the three of them was before the reveal, Merlin knew that a history of positive interactions wouldn’t make a difference if the truth came out. His mother would never be okay with Will knowing.

And he was right! Because Hunith finding out the truth fractures that relationship. It’s what finally prompts Hunith to send Merlin away. And that, of course, makes things worse, because a) Will never did anything to deserve that reaction, and b) as I’ve talked about in another post, Merlin disappears without even telling Will he’s leaving. He just vanishes. And Will, blindsided, is left in Ealdor with Hunith, who was party to that decision, and he is so...I don’t even know how to describe how full of grief and rage I would be, if I were in his situation. Merlin was the only good thing in Will’s life.

I don’t think Will wants to be anywhere near Hunith, after that. I think he avoids her like the plague. I think the only reason Will even knows anything about where Merlin is or what he’s doing is because Hunith is careful to chat about it with other people in casual conversation, while Will is within earshot (hence why Will later says, “I hear you’re skivvying for some prince”). And I think Hunith is probably making a misguided attempt to be kind, by doing that - giving Will a way to stay sort of updated even though they’re not speaking to each other - but I also don’t think her efforts are effective, at all, because the only thing her secondhand updates do for Will is hammer home the fact that Merlin is writing to Hunith instead of him, that Merlin hasn’t directed Hunith to relay Will any message, that Merlin really did just leave without saying goodbye and apparently has no intention of contacting Will again. And Will doesn’t know why Merlin did that, or what he did to make Merlin not want him anymore, but because Will is who he is, he ends up feeling like Merlin must have never cared about him that much in the first place, and it was just that Will misread the whole relationship; he got his hopes up and let his guard down and believed that somebody cared for him, and he should have known better, because everybody ALWAYS leaves him, and he was stupid to think this time would be different. And he is so angry at himself, but he is also devastated, and impossibly lonely, because he has nobody in his life, and he has to just sit and simmer in his own pain, because Merlin is gone, and Will would rather crawl over a bed of hot coals than go anywhere near Hunith right now.

And I honestly don’t blame Will for avoiding her. It’s like...I hate to put this on Hunith, because I do appreciate her in other areas, but there’s just no getting around this: the way she views and deals with Will is markedly different from the way she treats Merlin’s Camelot friends, even though she barely knows them, and despite the fact that she’s perfectly aware that Arthur hates sorcery. She’s happy to ignore Merlin’s friendship with Will all throughout 1.10, even though that’s the relationship that is in the most desperate need of attention, and instead she chooses to focus on/encourage/praise Merlin’s relationships with people who hate the thing that makes him who he is. And that is just so...bizarre to me, and I think...I really believe there is a part of Hunith that blames Will for everything that happened, even if it’s subconscious. Like - I think there’s a part of her that believes that if Will hadn’t found out about the magic, Merlin wouldn’t have been “in danger,” and she wouldn’t have been put in the difficult position of sending Merlin away. I’m not sure if she truly believed Will was going to sell Merlin to a bounty hunter when he got desperate enough for money (see above re: Will’s situation being a precarious one, survival-wise), or if it was more her fear that Merlin would be too trusting now that one person had accepted him (what if Merlin went and told someone else, because it worked out the first time??? What if he let this thing with Will lull him into a false sense of security?) But whatever her reasons, she still ends up pushing Will away. She never treats him with the same kind of solicitous interest that she extends to Merlin’s new companions, and I do think it all comes back to that moment when she found out that he knew.

It’s hardly rational, given what we know about how dedicated Will actually is to protecting Merlin’s secret. And I don’t think Hunith is like...actively taking it out on him. But the attitude is still present, as an undercurrent, and I have to be honest about this: the feeling I get from Hunith in 1.10 (and the vibe that I imagine Will was getting from her while Merlin was gone) is that she thinks Merlin is much better off now that he’s moved on from Ealdor, and that leaving Will behind was ultimately best for everyone, and that Will needs to just get over it and understand that he’s not a part of Merlin’s life anymore, so everyone can be happy that Merlin has met such fantastic, fascinating new friends.

That’s what I hear her saying, when I see the way she completely ignores him while simultaneously loving on the Camelot crew. That’s what Will hears, too, even if she doesn’t say it out loud.

And honestly, my heart breaks for him. He deserved more than that.

(tangentially, but - I think it bears mentioning, given certain fic trends I have seen, that Merlin himself does not share this viewpoint. Merlin has never and will never consider his new friends to be a “step up” from Will, and he has never and will never consider Will to be a “past” or less immediate part of his life. Even after Will is dead, Merlin refuses to tolerate even the barest suggestion of this from anybody - when Arthur tries to say that Will “was a close friend,” Merlin corrects him, saying “He still is.” Will is just as relevant and meaningful to Merlin in Camelot as he was when Merlin was still at home, and the fact that Hunith doesn’t assign Will as much importance anymore does not in any way correspond to Merlin’s own feelings on the subject.)

So - the point of all this is just to say that Hunith finding out about Will isn’t an event that ends with all of them coming together and collectively deciding to send Merlin to Camelot while Will and Hunith promise to look after each other while Merlin is away. Whatever relationship the three of them had before this happened, it’s broken after Hunith learns the truth. Hunith and Will are completely done with each other, after Merlin leaves. Merlin and Will are obviously plunged into an incredibly messy situation, thanks to Merlin vanishing without a word. And even Merlin and his mother have tension - Merlin references the big blow-up to Will in 1.10, but there’s also a moment in episode 1.01, too, that is VERY subtle but also very telling, when Gaius says “your mother asked me to look after you.” Merlin’s response is just, “Yes,” but the way he delivers it - he looks away, and his mouth tenses up, and there’s this little hesitation and then the tone is almost - rueful, like there’s more he’d like to say but he refrains. It’s like a “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” vibe. And the reason for that is because the circumstances under which his mother asked Gaius to look after him were a mess. Merlin tells us straight-up in 1.10 that he didn’t want to leave home. The entire thing was a disaster.

iv. the reason hunith was “so angry” is because will did not find out about merlin's magic by accident

I think I've talked about this briefly before, but here it is in more detail: I am firmly convinced that Merlin told Will about his magic, as opposed to Will finding out accidentally.

It's not something we can actually know in a canon sense, obviously. And I know the “Will almost has an accident and Merlin uses magic to help him” motif is more common in fic. But the reason I’m so set on this is because of how Merlin describes Hunith's reaction to finding out that Will knew.

“When she found out you knew - she was so angry.” The way Merlin says that - he shakes his head, almost in awe, like it was something almost frightening to behold - the way he puts an emphasis on “so angry” - to me, this has always been an indication that Merlin voluntarily disclosed his magic to Will. We know enough about Hunith to be familiar with how gentle and calm she is, and how much she loves Merlin, and how kind and understanding she is with him. I think if she learned that Will had found out about Merlin's magic in an accidental way - ie, in a way Merlin could not have reasonably prevented - then even though she would still have wished that Merlin had told her sooner, she wouldn't have reacted in a way that made Merlin reflect on it like she was scary-angry. I think she would have understood, if he explained that he'd been forced into a situation to use his magic to help someone or prevent a bad accident from happening.

However - if Merlin had TOLD Will about his magic, voluntarily, when he didn't have to, just because he felt like it, despite all of Hunith's warnings and all of her efforts to keep Merlin safe - that, I think, is something that would have prompted the kind of anger Merlin references.

To Hunith, that would be unconscionably reckless. After all she's done to keep Merlin alive, after spending every day of her life sick and sleepless with worry - to have Merlin so easily throw her work away like that, in blatant defiance of every cautionary thing she's ever told him - it's a slap in the face. Plus, Merlin is now in more danger (she thinks) which just amplifies her fear, and thus her fury.

But what she doesn’t understand is that Merlin didn't do it to hurt her. He didn't do it because he doesn't appreciate how hard she works to keep him safe. He did it because he had to. There came a moment, at some point in the past, where he became so lonely and so desperate to be seen that he made a choice, took a risk, and put his life in someone else's hands.

And he was rewarded for that choice! Merlin never, ever would have made it in Ealdor without Will’s honest companionship. A Merlin who did not have a single friend to know and love him for those first two decades would have been utterly unrecognizable by the time he arrived in Camelot - if he even survived long enough to get there.

But Hunith doesn't understand the depth of Merlin's desperation. She thinks that him telling Will was a foolish, uncalled-for risk, when for Merlin it was a lifesaving necessity.

So, I think that this is part of what makes Hunith react so badly. And I also think the severity of her reaction (and the ultimate tragic outcome that follows in 1.10) is something that lingers in Merlin’s mind for a long time, because he never willingly discloses his secret to anyone again. Gaius and Lancelot find out by accident. Freya, Gilli, and Daegal find out by necessity, because Merlin needs to leverage his magic in one way or another in order to save their lives. Even Arthur is a forced confession, demanded by desperate circumstances.

Merlin doesn't choose to reveal himself to those people. It's something that's pushed onto him. Will is a singular instance. Merlin has only voluntarily shared his secret with one person - just because he wanted to, not because he was forced to, just because he trusted them, just because he wanted that connection so badly.

And it leads to such painful consequences, in the end, that he never does it again.

in conclusion:

So, to summarize, my foundational thoughts on how this went down can basically be boiled down to those four things: it wasn't the result of carelessness, Merlin was the one who let it slip, it was a huge disaster with long-lasting consequences, and part of the reason why it went so badly is because Hunith found out that Merlin had voluntarily told Will about his magic, as opposed to Will finding out accidentally.

But, as always, those are just my own personal thoughts about it, and I am still 100% happy to read about all sorts of differing envisionings of this scenario - nothing is confirmed in canon, obviously, so for people who imagine this event differently, have at it! The world can always use a little more of Merlin’s pre-canon life, if you ask me. :D

#the once and future slowburn #meta #bbc merlin gen #no kings no masters #replies #@blueclaw7 - thank you for asking!#i really loved writing this up!#<333

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