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crows-home · 1 year

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Agh, I feel bad that the next chapter of You are at your lowest, I am rising higher is taking me longer than I want, so here’s a 2k sneak peak of when everyone first gets word of Sonic’s death :’))

There’s an analogue clock on Amy’s wall.

It’s hung just above her fireplace, in her living room, black hands displaying the time- 10:35 P.M. At least, Silver thinks it’s somewhere around 10:35? Reading those things are difficult and he has little practice with them.

It’s old, Silver thinks, even for this time period. It’s a clock he’s only ever seen in ancient books and torn pictures unearthed in rubble. It’s shaped like a box, but crafted to look… fancy. A fancy box. Red paint peeling and chipping away to reveal the brown wood underneath.

It’s nice. Silver can admire the details and the fancy swooshes at the corners and the bronze swinging thing in the middle behind a glass barrier. Blaze would have better words to describe it; she’s always been the more knowledgeable about these types of things. Too bad she’s handling responsibilities in her own world right now.

Tick tick tick.

When he walks through the threshold, it’s the first thing his eyes go to. A nice clock, really, Silver isn’t one to criticize his friends’ furniture and home- but he could do without the subtle noise that it makes every second. Each second, the thin red hand moves, ticking and ticking in a way that gets under his skin after too long.

Silver cringes as he sits down on Amy’s couch, next to Knuckles. The scrapes on his elbows hurt and the back of his hands burn like they always do whenever he overexerts his powers.

[Amy’s called a meeting with everyone at her home at the edge of town. Knuckles, The Chaotix, Silver, even Sticks.

Well, almost everyone. Rouge and Omega have already been contacted, and Tails and Sonic are nowhere to be found. It’s deathly quiet when she sits them all down in her living room and passes out the first aid supplies. She hangs her head low, and Knuckles thinks the battle must have shaken her up more than usual.

She looks like she’s been crying.]

Silver hisses while applying an ice pack to his bruised leg.

“Have all the evacuees made it out of town?” Espio asks. Silver turns to look at him. He’s to the right, sitting down in front of the pink loveseat where Charmy and Vector are. Right in front of the fireplace, right below the clock.

Amy nods, putting the first aid kit on the coffee table in the middle of the room. She takes a seat in front of them, in a peach chair that looks like it needs serious upholstering.

“Good, we should focus on our next move,” Espio dabs antiseptic onto a scrape on Charmy’s knee. The bee whines. “Eggman’s not wasting any time.”

“Yeah,” Vector gripes. Silver sees him flinch when he presses an ice pack to a bump on his head. His headphones and gold chain have been tossed to the side. “And he’s got a real bad team with him this time. I mean, did you guys see that masked guy?”

They did. It was fast. Silver couldn’t get a hit in no matter how hard he tried, couldn’t even keep him still with his telekinesis. He’s still sour about that. He glares at the floor like Amy’s cream carpet will give him forgiveness.

Tick tick tick

Besides Silver, Knuckles removes his gloves roughly. Silver wisely chooses to tilt away from Knuckles before he elbows him without thinking. “Chaos was there,” Knuckles says while applying a heart patterned band-aid on his palm. He frowns ruefully at them. “But I don’t get how or why. He’s supposed to be on Angel Island.”

“What the heck was Zavok doing here, too?” Sticks calls from the floor somewhere to Silver’s left. “I thought Sonic took care of him and his goons months ago!”

Zavok isn’t someone Silver has any real personal experience with, but he was a formidable opponent.

“Metal Sonic was mean…” Charmy whines.

The ice pack he’s pressing on his knee doubles as a balm to his aching hand. It’s white and nothing much, but Silver frowns at it all the same.

Metal Sonic was his usual fast and unflinching robotic self. Was that other guy, the one with the mask, a robot too? They shared similar traits…

“…We saw Shadow as well,” Espio mumbles.

There’s a pause in the air- a tense silence that hangs and goes on for too long- almost overpowering.

Tick tick tick tick

Silver chances a glance around the room and sees that everyone else is looking at the floor, at the walls, at their own hands, like that will give them any sort of answer. No one really knows what to say about their friend who turned enemy again.

[Knuckles knows what he would say, but he’s been told he can’t say those words around Charmy.]

When Shadow had first teleported beside him in the middle of battle, Silver had expected assistance. He hadn’t even considered the possibility of Shadow being a threat! That’s why he was completely caught off guard when Shadow grabbed him by the quills and flung him meters away.

This isn’t his time period, he’s so out of his element again, he doesn’t know. It’s frustrating that he doesn’t. Frustrating that he hesitated before engaging in battle against a former ally. He would fist his hands in anger if they weren’t aching so much.

Silver flinches when Knuckles balls his fists and growls. The hearts on his palm bunch up and wrinkle.

“Forget this!” Knuckles says. “We don’t have time to wonder why Shadow’s bad again or why so many of our enemies are back. Whatever’s going on, it’s nothing some good old-fashioned force and teamwork can’t fix. I mean, how strong can they be? We’ve beaten them once already!”

[That has them lifting their heads a little bit. Knuckles sees Vector smile, and Silver sit up just a bit straighter. Good.]

Silver feels himself smile, despite everything. Right. They just need some time to reorganize, is all. Even after that rough battle and loss, Knuckles still looks tough; ready for the next fight. He’s a good person, Silver thinks. He’s grateful he has these people now. Grateful he has someone like Knuckles to rely on.

Tick tick tick.

[Amy still seems down though. Hm.]

Probably feeling bold, Knuckles smirks and raises a fist. “So they got the upper hand today. Big deal! Just some luck on their part that we’re a little rusty. I, for one, can’t wait to head back out there and show them that no matter how much muscle they bring, we’ll always be stronger.”

Sticks sits up. “Knuckles is right-”

[Heh, as always.]

“-for once-”

[Wait what?]

Sticks [rudely] ignores Knuckles’ indignant growls, and Silver has to hide his laugh behind a cough. Charmy doesn’t hide his at all. “-But we’re gonna hafta decide on a plan fast, because with Shadow on his team, there’s no telling how much time we’ve got! That guy will cover so much ground like nobody’s business!”

Speaking of fast…

Switching the ice pack from one hand to another, Silver looks at Amy, who’s sitting on her armchair and staring resolutely at her hands folded in her lap. “Were you able to track down Sonic and Tails?”

Amy’s muzzle moves with a thick swallow.

“I-” she begins, and then glances to one corner of the room. “I- found Tails. He’s, um- he’s in my room right now. Resting.”

Tick tick tick tick

Had Tails been a part of the battle without them realizing? Silver feels a pang of worry go through him thinking about young Tails, going into battle against such powerful foes, completely unprepared. At least Amy’s taken care of him now.

[She keeps blinking. She’s trying to keep her eyes from watering. Knuckles stops paying attention to everyone else in the room, focusses solely on her. His own heartbeat is loud in his ears.]

“What about Sonic?” Charmy’s high voice pipes up.

They need Sonic. Silver frowns and thinks. Where was Sonic during the battle? Taking care of Tails? He’s always been pretty protective of him.

Once they get Sonic and the rest of the team here, they can figure something out. Like Knuckles said. Nothing they haven’t done before. Silver lets himself feel a little bit of hope, lets the ball of anxiety in his chest turn into anticipation.

Keep a cool, level head. Just like Knuckles, who’s not saying anything and is looking at Amy. Looking for the next step.

[Knuckles doesn’t think anyone else is watching Amy as intently as he is, he feels like he’s the only one who sees how unnaturally stiff she’s become. Sees how she fiddles with the tassels of her throw pillow.]

“We didn’t see him anywhere!”

[Knuckles is suddenly struck with a familiar sensation. A stomach-dropping, time stopping one. He’s been here before.

Why? Why does he feel like this? Amy hasn’t even said anything, but he already feels like- like she’s told them-]

“He’s… Sonic is-”

Is what? Is he hurt? Silver blinks and tilts his head forward. Amy cares a lot about Sonic’s well-being. That must be what’s gotten her so bad.

Tick tick tick tick

[Amy takes in short, quivering breaths. Like she’s trying to keep herself together- like she’s seconds from falling apart.

Knuckles knows immediately where she’s going.]

Everyone’s looking at Amy now. No doubt wondering what’s got her pausing and why she looks so tense. Amy takes a deep breath brings her gaze up- not looking at anyone specifically, Silver thinks. She’s looking but- she’s not? How is that even possible?

[It’s familiar. It reminds Knuckles of the day he realized his tribe wasn’t coming back.

…Is that what it is? Maybe it’s something else entirely.]

What’s this déjà vu? Silver is struck by an image- fuzzy and almost a memory- that flashes in front of him. For a second, he thinks he sees Sonic. On the ground and surrounded by- by- something. Someone? A purple and black sky overhead, twisting and distorting, as he and his friends surround- something-

It’s gone. The memory- memory?- is gone a moment later, barely a whisper of a thought left when Silver tries to prod at it.

Amy sniffs, and Silver zeroes in again.

“Sonic is no longer with us.”

Tick.

What?

“…What?” He hears someone- Vector- ask.

Amy closes her eyes, and now Silver can see her clearly. Her jaw is stiff, her hands are shaking, and her back is so straight he thinks she must be in pain.

“What do you mean?”

Is it just him, or is everyone’s eyes too dry all of a sudden?

A ringing in his ear, sharp and growing, almost drowns out everyone’s words. Except for Amy’s. Amy’s words as she explains that- that Sonic was there. He was there before everyone else, along with Tails.

“…Tails saw it happen… -one with the mask- ended his life right in front of him-” Amy is saying, but Silver’s not really hearing. “Early this morning-”

Tick tick tick

He can’t hear because- because of the ringing in his ear. Subtle, but still there. And- and the clock. And- Has the light always been that bright? Have his lips always been this chapped? The room was warm before. A nice place to be during a cold night. Now it’s suffocating. His fur is uncomfortable. And blinking- it’s such a weird motion, isn’t it. He’s never thought about that before.

Amy’s still talking. “…found Tails in his room- scared- … neck was snapped-”

Breathing- breathing is weird too. He’s never noticed. He’s hyper aware of every breath and the way it fills his lungs because it will never fill Sonic’s ever again.

Tick tick tick

Has the clock always been that loud?

[There’s a strange air in the room. Like all of this is not quite real, but Knuckles is hyper-aware of every one of his senses. The bruises on his arms and legs and the way the bandages hug his injuries. The way his heart is thumping in his chest.

He’s aware of the way Silver’s become deathly still beside him. How Charmy’s cries sound and the shuffling noise Vector makes when he goes to hug the kid.

He doesn’t turn to look at any of them, but he can feel.]

#my writing #sonadow #<- i'm only tagging sonadow so that people know that this is a sonadow fic #but if thats not your cup of tea you can totally just take this snippet of everyone finding out sonics dead #so so so so many thoughts about this i cant keep this all inside im going insane #we know sonic references the events of 06 but do u guys think everyone else who was there has these like. vague flashbacks #and like. how do u think everyone else feels when sonic 'dies' in forces. bc ohhhh my god the angst potential #and im planning SO much more for this but i gotta not burn myself but i also really want to share this #the holidays were rough on me but fingers crossed i get this out in january!

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creatediana · 1 year

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A half-assed whiteboard imitation of Evelyn de Morgan’s The Love Potion (1903), done in a few minutes in Expo marker on 12/05/2022

#i have to say. of my expo drawings of paintings. this is my least favorite #it was the most challenging especially trying to work w multiple colors. and nobody had an ORANGE.#i also lost track of details that i got off or wonky in my original sketchbook imitation that i copied from. like her left arm is #completely wrong. but that's ok.#if she gets erased i won't cry about it #2022 #drawing #visual art #evelyn de morgan #my drawing #whiteboard #i drew the cat on the left too bc i didn't leave enough space at her feet #there was a new guy in the math center that i hadn't met before and when i finished he asked 'wait did you just #whip up a classic in like a couple minutes?' and the guys he was w were like 'yeah she does that'#im really not satisfied w this one tho. i didnt give myself enough time on the original sketch either bc i had somewhere to go #and i did the whiteboard drawing when i came back. and when i was doing the finishing touches i kinda didnt bother to refine it #like her left arm is wrong in reference to the original painting but i f #you don't know what i'm copying you won't know. but the left elbow? atrocious. and i didn't even bother to fix it.#also the hands like i didnt even try lol #also. merry christmas to everyone reading these tags who celebrates.#:^)

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deadtower · 9 months

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i’m just so tired. and hurt. and upset. and it wasn’t even my fault this time

#suicide tw in tags /#i'm just so fucking tired of being a failure #i'm so tired of twisting myself into knots trying to satisfy people and make myself who they're idealizing #i'm sick of being mistreated i'm sick of not having money i'm sick of everything that'shappened this past year #i was in shock this entire afternoon and then i was delirious with laughter #and now i'm just in the fucking valley of depression. i don't see the point in trying #if someone hates me working at their store so much that they go to the manager #and tell them that i used a swear word in front of them #and the manager fires me for it while telling me i'm a perfect employee otherwise #then like. why even fucking try. if everyone's just going to have a problem with me #for being nice and enthusiastic #should i just become a bitter miserable person too? bc those are the only people #that seem to get ahead lmfao.#i don't know. i'm hurt and angry and i feel dead inside #i'm really really done with everything. i just wanna stop it all #i thought i was scared of death but man... if it will give me even a fucking second of peace #and get me away from these people who hate me and want me to be destitute with no income.#then.

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magentagalaxies · 1 year

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Jessamine Accidentally Writes An Essay About Two Conversations Ze's Totally Normal About

one of my beloved mutuals (@souplover13) is reblogging a lot of queerpunk posts tonight which just reminded me of two conversations i want to document. yes this story involves paul bellini why wouldn't it (fr tho i was considering not making this a post bc i was like oh god do people really want to hear me ramble about these 63-year-old gay dudes again maybe i should give it a rest but whatever it's my blog and if people don't like it why are they even following me this is all we do here)

anyway the story actually begins with a conversation i had with my parents earlier today. now, i'm lucky enough to have parents that are constantly trying their best to be good allys and are always learning to do better. they're not perfect, but they want to learn. while at lunch today my dad took a picture of me and my mom together since i won't be home again for a few months and he affectionately said "my girls." i've been out to my parents as nonbinary for around a year, but i let it slide since my gender wasn't the most important part of that sentiment, more the fact that it was a nice family moment.

a beat later my mom corrects "girl and person," and while i am grateful for her seeing that i'm not a girl, this type of correction always makes me feel more awkward than being misgendered. like, the point of my dad calling me "his girl" was this tone of familial affection, but the word "person" just feels cold and distant, which is something i struggle with in a lot of gender neutral language. but beyond that, it's just this weird separation. i jokingly correct my mom again, saying "hey, we're both people."

the conversation continues and eventually my mom asks if it bothers me when people call me "girl" like that. and the truth is: i don't know. it bothers me a little, but the forced neutrality bothers me more, and honestly i don't really care what gendered language someone uses for me as long as they mean it in a way that shows me they care. like, i'd rather be called girl affectionately than be called "genderqueer nonbinary person with a strained relationship to androgyny who uses ze/zir pronouns and feels represented by the word transfeminine" in a derogatory way. I respond "it's contextual," but that's not a satisfactory answer. the conversation moves on to a nonbinary person who stops by my mom's work often and how my mom's had to correct some of the older employees to stop calling them a girl, since times are changing.

the second conversation is from a few weeks ago when i first visited canada to help with the mouth congress concert and got to have lunch with paul bellini beforehand. at one point the conversation developed into paul asking me what being "nonbinary" means for me personally. it was clear he wasn't intimately familiar with the concept (though to his credit he did have more experience with it than i expected), and some of his assumptions were inaccurate to my experience, but he listened intently as i described my experience not knowing how to specifically label my gender but just knowing i don't want to be seen as a cis woman while also having no desire to be fully male. he related it to his own experience as a gay man with his own complex relationship to masculinity and femininity, acknowledging it's not the exact same, and by the end of our conversation i truly felt like he respected my unique relationship to gender even if there were certain parts he still needed to process.

but most importantly, it was funny. granted our conversation was a unique case since both individuals were queer comedians from different generations, but approaching the strange concept of gender identity with humor made it so much more comfortable. paul described being a little feminine gay kid and thinking "i'm not a boy or a girl, i'm a god" and i responded that's it exactly. i brought up the mouth congress song she-male: master of the universe, saying the vision of a vengeful genderqueer space goddess is the most represented i've felt by a piece of media, only half joking. but also there were times when i made jokes about failing at gender (e.g. referencing a group of "girls" at my high school who made me realize i'm nonbinary since i always felt weird for being the least feminine person when we hung out, and then the fact that several of them came out as transmasc after graduation meaning now they can be better than me at being trans as well) and while paul acknowledged the joke he also assured me i was exactly where i needed to be in terms of my gender presentation, and honestly i'm kind of tearing up just thinking about it.

paul never asked me for my pronouns, but to be fair i did somewhat volunteer them in the form of a joke: "i use any pronouns, but i will silently judge you based on what you do with that information." that line got a laugh.

I told the same line to my parents after our "girl" conversation today, earning only confusion, and it made me realize something: so much of modern trans allyship centers entirely around language, be it pronouns or recognizing the lack of neutrality in our everyday speech. and while these things are certainly important, that's not understanding. cishet allys so often want to be able to say the right thing, so they approach the subject as learning the rules for how to incorporate this new approach to gender into their lexicon. i think there's something to be said for how this parallels how we're often taught about cis gender roles: these are the rules you follow to be a man or woman. when you find out someone doesn't fit neatly into those boxes, it's natural to ask "okay, what are your rules?" this also leads to some cis people (even gay cis people) complaining about how "you can't say anything these days" since it's portrayed as just another set of rules you need to learn.

but honestly, i don't know what my gender rules should be. my approach to gender lately has been the equivalent of "idk dude i just work here," i don't know where i specifically fit in but i do know how i feel inside. the answer "it's contextual" doesn't give you the cheat codes to gendering me correctly, because even i don't know how to gender myself correctly half the time. however, more importantly imo it gives you a window into how it feels to be me, a nonbinary person with complicated relationships to every facet of gender who's decided to stop expecting language to fully represent me but still has to deal with language being applied to me all the time. my nonbinary gender is confusing as hell, and i'm tired of having to pretend it's not as if that's the only way it's worthy of respect. every gender (including cis genders) is confusing as hell, and it's only when we all accept this fact that we can actually make a meaningful connection.

as my parents and i were driving away from the restaurant my only thought was i wonder how my dad would've referred to that photo if it was my brother and my mom in the picture. would he have said "girl and boy?" or "girl and person?" or would he have simply said "family"

#soup i tagged you bc i feel like you'd be interested in this #tbh i didn't plan on this being as long as it is but whatever i clearly needed to process something #tbh i'm kind of rolling my eyes at myself like ''ah great another paul bellini post'' but like #having an older queer comedian mentor actually really means a lot to me and i think i'm allowed to celebrate that #also honestly didn't realize how much the genuinely compassionate response to my high school joke actually meant to me until this moment???#like in the moment i was like ''no that was a joke isn't it funny the same group of people made me feel inadequate in multiple genders''#but now i'm like wait. oh. i've been holding onto that idea that i'm not good enough. insert crying cat meme #also shoutout to another anecdote from that paul conversation:#apparently he has a younger cousin who's a trans girl and he brought scott with him to visit them for christmas this year #and he said ''that cousin and scott ended up having one of those conversations where everyone around them is on edge bc any second someone #could say the wrong thing. it was awesome'' and like unironically i agree???#like yeah having someone say something accidentally transphobic is shitty but one thing i enjoy about scott it he's not a performative ally #if he doesn't get something he will say it. and tbh at this point i've been around enough people who know all the language #but don't really get it or worse think the opposite #that watching someone like that is honestly refreshing

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coffee-bat · 1 year

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ok this is a pretty random vent but. it's so frustrating having body dysmorphia and KNOWING it but at the same time being unable to break through it. so you look at yourself and know your perception is warped but you can't help it and feel the need to ask someone else for an unbiased opinion but you can't do that bc it'd come off as look-at-me attention seeking. you feel me

#i feel helpless i feel like i NEED someone to tell me unbiased facts so i could use their words to help break through my dysmorphia #but the only people who see me/pictures of me are either friends or family. and they won't tell me what they really think.#friends wouldn't want to upset me and family are aware of my eating disorder and probably scared of telling me anything that could make it #worse #(aside from my grandma who says i've 'gained weight' my 'ass is too fat' and when i was in the hospital in august #called me only to ask 'have you lost weight yet'. everyone is mad at her for this but i don't know if it's bc she's wrong or bc she's #upsetting me with facts)#but if i were to ask for unbiased judgement publicly (like shit on r/amiugly) everyone would say i'm just seeking attention/lying about #actually needing mental help #i feel. helpless man #trapped in my own mind and everything i see in the mirror is twisted and i don't know what 'normal' is supposed to look like anymore and i #can't rationally compare myself to others bc the only person i judge for weight is myself #so i'll look at a person no matter the weight think 'they're gorgeous' but then look at myself and just not see the reflection in the same #objective way #vent #personal #body dysmorphia tw #fatphobia tw (in tags)#eating disorder tw #ask to tag

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doodlboy · 1 year

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1. rice cookers are cheap as fuck mine was $10 2. "they only have one function" they don't they are frequently used to boil/steam/cook meat and vegetables 3. that's like saying people are bougie for having a toaster/electric kettles because it only does one thing 4. rice + rice cookers are racialized foods can you not see how its a bad look to say people (overwhelmingly asian) with rice cookers are fancy rich people. use ur brain.

1. Where I live [in the middle of nowhere] rice cookers are a luxury kitchen item, the cheapest one I can find is $30 and it's at a Walmart that's 30 to 45 minutes away from my home.

2&3. That's really cool & I genuinely didn't know that before, but it still takes up too much counter space for me, personally, to buy one. Electric kettles are also really fancy to me, and we have a regular kettle that works ok on its own, so I wouldn't see the need to buy it either. We have a toaster, but it's 4 or 5 years old by now, and it's barely used often enough to really keep it. But like the other 2 products we're talking about, it is probably more useful to other people who use them more.

4. Ppl with rice cookers aren't fancy rich people. They're probably cheaper in other places, but where I live, it's fancy and expensive bc the market deems them as specialty appliances. So I would rather just buy a pot to cook it in instead of smthn that had its price jacked up bc they think ppl around here don't need it.

#my personal experience not everyone in the world who owns one nor specifically asian people #where i live in a suburb/retirement community the middle of thousands of yards of corn fields. thats a fancy product #and like i was getting at w the last ask abt this. they're probably much cheaper in other places and thats great #but myself personally. i cannot afford to spend that money or use up that counter space getting a special appliance #also the “ppl with rice cookers are bougie” thing was a joke anyway. i prob should have tone tagged it bc it wasn't even slightly serious #it was only based on my personal experience with them. where they jack up the price and call it a specialty item #i wasnt like- broadcasting that to everybody in the world's lives too bc i know #its really shitty to be able to get it for $10 one place but in another its $30 bc that place doesn't think its an everyday appliance #and its bs to the people who live here that do eat rice/just use a rice cooker regularly for it to be so expensive #but im not gonna shame/make fun of anybody for buying or using one bc they probably have more uses for it than i do #*i personally* just dont have enough reason to get one for our home #and I'm not going to go back and forth abt it any more. now i know they do more than cook rice. and they're cheaper in other places #so I'm not gonna argue abt it with anybody else bc i understand those things now and i hope its understandable to you why I think #they're a specialty item bc they are marketed as such here. so i joked abt them being bougie #anon asks #thank you for the ask

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absoluteabsolem · 1 year

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i will listen to songs you played in the car, i will prepare my tea this way bc that's how you make it, i will continue doing something in a way you find amusing bc it reminds me of your smile, i will wear this shirt a lot bc you were with me when i bought it, i will think of your colourful, insane patterned dungarees whenever i catch a glimpse of myself draped in all-black clothes in a store window, i will pay more attention to this or that colour because it's the colour of your eyes, i will make this meal every week bc you once said you liked it, i will watch this film or show because you love it with all your soul. i have known you for years i've seen you for three days in my whole life you're on the other side of the sea you live ten minutes away from me and i miss you and i love you so much. but i have nothing to say. and it makes me want to die a little

#personal #untitled rambling tag #this is about my inability to start or carry conversations with my loved ones #i've been pretty miserable the past couple of days bc i don't know what to do about this #i have such a small social battery but also a stupidly huge amount of love to give and idk what to do with it #i recently went on a group holiday with internet friends and i miss them so much #but i also didn't talk a lot and stepped out of most group activities bc board games make me so nervous #idk i'm worried about having made things difficult or awkward for them. but i also can't change who i am as a person i suppose #anyway. been crying a lot over feeling out of place everywhere with everyone #i try not to but i gotta say. i kinda hate myself sometimes

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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 2 years

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One of the saddest tragedies of recent years has been the death of the good-faith argument (or giving the benefit of the doubt). The preferred argumentative style is not to argue based on a respect for the other's intelligence and thoughtfulness, but to assume that the other party must be either willfully ignorant, stupid, or hateful to hold their opinion. Yes, in some cases, arguing substance will do nothing--beliefs genuinely founded on hatred will not change if their lack of logic is highlighted--but most people don't hold their beliefs because of that. Most people, even people with whom you vehemently disagree, hold those beliefs because they have thought about and evaluated them and concluded they are true. Most people are not indoctrinated to the point where coherent arguments are useless. Most people are not willing to blindly accept whatever idea they are handed. And even though some people are, and do, the underlying assumption when speaking to people with whom you disagree should be that they are reasonable people who will respond to reason.

Furthermore, there's a lack of acknowledgement in discussions like these that we might be wrong. It's hypocritical to go into a discussion expecting the other person to change their mind without being willing to consider changing yours. We are fallible people--even if we're mostly right, there's a chance that at least some of our understanding isn't perfect. There's a chance we could have something to learn. That's the basis of all productive discussions, and it's strikingly absent these days, particularly in online contexts.

I write this because I've seen several posts just today on various forums that were deliberately misrepresenting the beliefs of certain groups. There's nothing to be gained from doing this: it will alienate those who are a part of those groups and make them unwilling to listen to you. That will not change anyone's mind. The only outcome of that will be to find others to reinforce your disdain for people with these beliefs. Does that make society better? Does that progress the ideals you would like to see? Or does it encourage anger and further division?

It's not as simple as we like to pretend it is. We are not "the good guys" and they are not "the bad guys." Yes, even them. We are all flawed, fallible people. If we wouldn't want people misrepresenting our beliefs for notes or views--if we wouldn't want targeted hostility directed at us for our deeply held beliefs--if we wouldn't want people being fed a twisted version of our views--why are we doing it to others? We're not better than them. We're different, and we think differently, and that is ok. Isn't that what acceptance is about? Isn't that what tolerance is about?

All this to say, when engaging with a viewpoint you think is false, or wrong, or bad, treat the person expressing it with the same respect you want to receive. They are people, just like you. Being intentionally hostile or condescending only serves to hurt and polarize people further. But, if you argue in good-faith, with patience and restraint, then the exchange of ideas may result in some change and growth--in both of you.

#i know this essay is very unprompted and is coming out of left-field for all intents and purposes #but i am feeling very deliberately misunderstood and attacked (albeit indirectly) because of this phenomenon #and i know it's not just me who has to deal with that #i don't know how to say it more simply than to say spreading hate is only going to spread hate #speaking from a position of infallibility is incredibly arrogant and harmful #why paint with such a wide brush? why generalize? why paint everyone who holds certain beliefs in a bad light?#it's easier that way sure. but does it accomplish anything really?#or does it just make you feel better and validate what you already think?#i'm repeating myself but it just bothers me when people misrepresent my beliefs (and those of others!) unapologetically #it's incredibly hurtful and frustrating #and it just leaves me thinking: why do you hate me when you don't know me? when you don't know what i actually believe?#one final thought. if you're reading this and thinking 'boy that group of people should really take this to heart'--#think about yourself. how can *you*?#kay can i just catch my breath for a second #and i feel like i shouldn't have to say this (see essay above) but i'm totally willing to discuss this and i'm not intending to be hostile #so if you want to respond go for it--but please do so in good-faith. thanks :)#kay has a party in the tags #one final final thing bc i have a feeling if anyone does respond it'll be with something like 'well what aboht this hate group?'#yeah obviously trying to logic someone out of deeply held hatred isn't gonna work. but remember they are still people #hating them and wishing they would die etc. makes you no better than them. the *only* way to overcome hatred is love #no you don't have to love the hate group. obviously. but never lose sight of the fact that although deeply misguided they are still people #and they are deserving of the same human rights as all the rest of us. if they aren't that sets a dangerous precedent #that's all folks

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couriersiccs · 2 years

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update on Summer of Goin Thru It: i’ve gotten thru it for the most part i think and i’m very proud of myself

#.txt #long post in tags bc idk fuck a readmore #basically since the beginning of June i've had revelation upon revelation abt myself #and my habits and behaviors and patterns #and LONG story short: i realized i was dismissing myself in favor of everyone else #because i was holding onto so much shame about myself and how i perceive myself in relation to others #subconsciously believing i was too fucked up to ever be TRULY vulnerable to even my partner #who had no idea about this entire side of me that was just FILLED with fear and shame and doubt #bc i've learned how to hide it so well due to I Do Not See It syndrome #(aka a constant lowkey state of dissociation where you don't feel safe existing presently in your body #and thus ignore whenever my body would try to signal to me when something was wrong #bc i was punished for Feeling Things under my mom's misdirected stress)#so i talked a lot with my partner and got back on the same page #and also visited my family and addressed the present relationship i have with my mom #in ways i've never been able to communicate before #bc i know how to regulate my emotions and choose my reactions now #and i think i'm starting to let go of this like. DEEPLY embedded sense of shame and accompanying fear #about who i am #and why i am the way i am #i think i'm accepting myself more than i ever have and everything just FEELS so much. Better.#yes this is the short version of the story #it's been a solid two months of total sobriety from alcohol and cannabis #which i may or may not continue #but if i don't i want to make sure i avoid making a habit or routine of Imbibe Substances #because holy shit it just makes me Check The Fuck Out of reality and i really don't need to that anymore #thank u for reading i hope you love yourself like you're meant to

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astrxealis · 7 months

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good eve hope u all r well 😇😙💗✨

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#exam scores r pretty good YAYYY i'm just a bit disappointed for bio but i reached my goals for earthsci & physics hehe #i got perf on physics even ... which is rlly amazing tbh bcs i am the only one in my class and the rest have at least 3 mistakes #and only what. 5 of us. have above 40/45 KDBWJABSJDH #SHS IS DIFFICULT GUYS but not for me w physics ^_^ teehee. me and my twin!!!#i'm just rlly proud of myself yay :D it's really funny tho how FOR SOME REASON SO MANY OF MY FRIENDS KNOW..... how did news pass like that #wtf it's funny bcs my friend behind me in class was like 'apollo' when my teacher was like yo 1 person in this class got perfect and i #shook my head but tbf i was confident i got perf. then boom. it's me. KDBSKDN IT'S SO FUNNY BCS THAT SAME FRIEND who i love btw THEY BRAGGED #TO THEIR OTHER FRIENDS WHO R MY FRIENDS ON MY BEHALF it's cute tbh but yeah #and then my twin's class... one of the nice ppl there learned i got perf and told the other ppl in the class JFSHJDJS JUST SOME OTHERSBIN #IN CLASS BUT THAT'S CRAZY and then i learned rn that my other other friend knows................................ it's amazing tbh #i'm just really happy with that lol and for everyone else too who did what they could ^_^ uhh generally speaking!#anyway AGHH ARTEMIS GOT BG3 TO WORK RAGHDGDHEHEHW DHRGAHDJGJEK REGHDJGHEOFJ #apollo screams in tags again like its his newspaper so true HFHSJDJSJ HIII GUYS !!! hope u all are well <33 #new seating arrangement for 2nd half of this sem and i'm . bit scared since im in the front #which idm but my seatmate is the one person i hate in my class <3 aside from their friend lol #i have my reasons aha i only hate really irresponsible people or maarte rich kids who use their money to cheat or get out of trouble #but at least my other kinda seatmate is another friend in class :(( <3 #the real awkward thing tho is my actual seatmate is uh a group member we just kicked from our research group bcs she's irresponsible as #shit. lots going in there but let me just tell u she has 20+ absences 3 months into the sy and according to the school. not valid enough #excuses lmfao. girlie has a twin too and always cheats so i'm not surprised ^_^ i hate super rich kids !!! that flaunt it off !!! argh #anyway tea over yruchfhfhsh i only realt hate ppl like that ... anyone else is ok w me ^_^ yay #raghh good evening !! u all rest well !! esp in the ph bcs it seems like it's sick season D:

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da-proti-toku-grem · 1 year

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#istg the amount of exams that i have this month should be illegal #i keep telling myself that there's just a month left but idk if that helps me or stresses me out more #and the fact that after i finish i have less than 15 days to prepare for Selectividad doesn't help at all #i just want to get a freaking good night of sleep #or at least get to sleep more than 4 hours #the only thing i've done since the beginning of the school year is study #i get home from school on friday and i don't leave my house until monday morning #i'm so sleepy all day i can't even concentrate #and it makes me angry bc everyone (except a couple of people that are the same as me in this way)#tells me that i shouldn't complain bc my grades are not bad #and i know that grades don't have to be the most important thing #but if i've been studying for an exam for 2 weeks #i don't want to get a 6 out of 10 #i want to feel compensated for my work #it doesn't seem fair to me that a person who doesn't study gets to have a higher grade than me just because they cheated on the exam #and if we add to this the whole situation with my biology teacher (which is a separate case bc that man's incredible and not in a good way)#idk how I have the willpower to get up in the morning #anyway #i hope this month passes soon so I can rest #(well that's a lot of tags but i needed to vent)#mine #one day i'll 'create' a tag for my original posts but not today lol

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kisses4choso · 7 months

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#SUPER SHY

SYNOPSIS: their praises are just too much for you, but in their eyes, you're deserving of every last one of them, and more. CHARACTERS: SANJI, ZORO, & LUFFY WARNINGS: short headcanons, foul language with zoro bc it's zoro, duh! NOTE: @matsunok02 is the lovely person who requested this, but i can't tag you, so i hope this finds its way to you!

SANJI:

your number one hypeman, no matter what.

you put in effort to dress up? he's going to lay down over muddy puddles so your new outfit won't get dirty.

you dressed down today? he's absolutely in awe of your 'effortless beauty', in his words.

when you shy away from compliments, it breaks his heart a little bit

he loves to talk and talk about you, so seeing that it might make you feel uncomfortable makes him rethink a little...

when he realizes it's because you feel undeserving?

he's not having it at ALL.

will make you do self-affirmations; he's not playing

"you're beautiful." "..." "well?" "i'm beautiful..." "I KNOW RIGHT?!"

he's kinda (really) annoying about it, but he's naturally cheesy so you gotta put up with it

and he doesn't limit himself to looks

no, he's ALL about you

you saved the crew's ass with a last minute strategy? you must be a genius!

and he goes into DETAIL

his strategy is mostly getting you used to compliments, so over time they don't feel so disconcerting to receive

if you're one of those people that deflects a compliment by complimenting someone back... he's gonna get you outta that habit

"look at you, i've got you all to myself? how luck-" "you look handsome too." "hm, i wasn't done. let's try that again."

and once you gain confidence around him? he's going insane.

something about your shy smile gets him GOING.

"you're an angel." "thank you, sanji." "ohmygodyou'resosexy."

10/10 confidence booster, might call you cringe petnames but worth it

ZORO

tbh... zoro isn't one for compliments

but he's honest, a man of his word

so if a shirt is unflattering, trust me he'll say "that shirt's ugly as shit"

you ask him how something looks on you really often

he might be saying "DAMN" in his head

his heart's pounding, he's having a coughing attack, he feels lightheaded, and suddenly he's losing grip on his swords...

but out loud? you're getting a "looks nice"

not even a full sentence, sorry

you'll probably hear more skill-based compliments

imagine the crew's celebrating a successful trip with a round of drinks and they're about to make a toast for you

(bc you kicked ass)

and you try to push the credit onto SOMEONE ELSE?

he's ready to fight you

"luffy tripped over his own feet and face planted, sanji missed a kick and started spinning, chopper and ussop fell overboard, nami steered us until we almost tipped over, robin got locked in a storage room, and i almost drowned. give yourself some credit."

now wtf are you gonna answer to that? nothing... so as everyone else is laughing and retelling their stories, he just brings his bottle close to yours, "cheers."

tough love

but he's so serious. you work hard for your acheivements, so if you won't recognize them yourself, he will.

now if you're tryna get a compliment compliment from him?

drunk zoro

he's like 1 shot away from passing out, slurring his words and all

"hmm? oh, where'd y'get that? s'pretty, yeah."

"that smile's gonna kill me one day."

"shit, y'look cute."

"fuck, don't look t'me like that."

yeah, alcohol is his worst enemy.

in the end, he mostly just shows you how he feels through actions LOL...

LUFFY

oh, he's completely unaware

but he's always tryna hype everyone up, and you're not an exception

will ALWAYS compliment you after a fight against the marines

"you did really well out there, let's get a meal to celebrate!"

if you go, "i was kinda useless, i don't know"

he's like "???"

just take the compliment because he's genuinely concerned and will argue with you until you give up

"what do you mean?" "it wasn't my best" "which means you're amazing even when you're not trying?" "oh" "yeah! cmon lets eat!"

if you compliment him, it turns into a competition

"i like your shirt, luffy." "thanks, yours is cute too!" "well, i think it goes nicely with your hat." "i think yours goes well with your shoes." "have you been working out more?" "i have, did you paint your nails a new color? they look cool!"...

yeah, it's never ending bc he doesnt know how to stfu

but trust, you'll never feel like luffy's lying to make you feel better

he's got a way with words when hes not being idiotic

"y'know, you're the kindest person i've met. i'm so lucky to have you next to me."

LIKE DAMNNN why are we being poetic

but if luffy's anything, he's genuine

so trust that the big stupid smile on his face when he sees you is something he cannot hold back

"why're you smiling like that?" "just happy to see you!"

and you're getting tackled to the ground

he doesn't expect anything back when he praises you, he does it because he feels like it

just don't try to deny it because he will NOT allow anyone, including you, to slander your name

also, whatever captain says goes

so if he says you're the bravest, prettiest, nicest, least smelly person in the entirety of the sea, it's true

just something quick to put out ><

#change in format #op headcanons #luffy x reader #zoro x reader #one piece #sanji x reader #sanji fluff #zoro fluff #luffy fluff #zoro x you #sanji x you #luffy x you #roronoa zoro #op x reader #op fluff

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