#bcs if they get together any time soon they will literally be a flaming hot mess

[kaladinkholins]

"why would you ship mizu and taigen together they're sooooo toxic ugh taigen is AWFUL and mizu should be with ME instead!!!"

of course they're toxic they're both deranged and terrible and that's why they're perfect for each other.

cuz like omg you think mizu would treat you well? mizu would abandon you. look at how she left ringo multiple times. ringo who treats her so well and is nothing but patient and caring and loyal. if you are insecure she will laugh at you because she has no social tact. look at how mikio said "it's a stupid dream" talking about his ambitions of regaining his honour and mizu straight up chuckles and tells him he's right because it IS a stupid dream. and at this point their relationship was cordial and she was even warming up to him!

like. arguably, taigen would be a better romantic partner (per the ideals of his time and culture of course), or at least he would be on paper. cuz i mean as a husband, as he is now, i think he'd be awful. but i'm talking about if you and him were dating or courting or just seeing each other romantically, he would be good to you. like we saw how he behaved with akemi and he was nothing but sweet and gentle. the very reason akemi wanted to marry him so bad was because she KNOWS without a doubt that he respects women and would treat her well. "oh but he cheated on her with the prostitutes while celebrating his engagement!" yeah but per the norms of the time and place, it was not considered cheating and akemi (as well as any wife or romantic partner of that period) would not have minded or even cared.

and yes taigen IS an asshole and he IS obnoxious but come on. so is mizu, if she is allowed to act like herself around you. mizu will tease you and mock you and challenge you and even poke at your insecurities (see:her goading mikio on even though he clearly did not view her teasing as light-hearted banter and took it all very personally). she would tell you to your face if she thinks you're being annoying (see:mizu rolling her eyes and telling akemi to straight up just "shut up" when she'd believed mizu had killed taigen).

mizu is not merely a hot and talented badass with a sword and the insane hyperfocus on her desire for revenge which literally drives her to withstand like, extreme amounts of damage and survive it. mizu is also flawed and the show does a good job at showcasing this, and showing us that she's not merely a victim but also a multilayered person. we see throughout that mizu is blunt and sarcastic and prideful.

oh what's that? oh right, very similar to taigen, who is also hot and talented with a sword and with insane hyperfocus on his desire to duel mizu and regain his honour. taigen who is also flawed (though, arguably, more so) as he is blunt and sarcastic and prideful.

the only thing that sets mizu and taigen apart is the fact that taigen is a man and is not mixed race, which thus affects their positions in society and how people perceive them. these are external factors. taigen being a boy who is not blue-eyed allowed him to easily mingle with the other kids in the village, all of whom were similarly fed the same prejudiced values which led them to gang up against mizu and bully her.

but take all that away. strip them down to the bare essentials. suddenly it's like they are the same person copy and pasted.

and that's what makes them even more interesting. yes absolutely they would be toxic. whatever souls are made of, mizu's and taigen's are the same (derogatory). and we literally see them fight all the time!!!! but the thing is they are both deranged when it comes to this.

do you get me. they both literally get turned on by sparring. mizu's whole spar with mikio was her way of flirting. just look at how she smirked at him and said "unsheathe it" like it's clear that this is an innuendo of not just unsheathing his weapon but also what's in his pants. then during the chopsticks fight with taigen in the snow, despite mizu literally being injured and taigen trying to attack her, mizu gets attracted to him. meanwhile taigen got a boner after wrestling with her in the forge.

taigen goes around saying he wants to kill mizu to regain his honour but he still literally risks life and limb for her constantly. mizu gives ringo stomach ulcers by going around flinging herself into near-death situations 24/7. she ups and leaves her beloved swordfather with barely a goodbye twice to pursue her batshit far-fetched quest for revenge (against people she doesn't even KNOW btw because she literally starts off with practically No Leads and not even knowing the NAMES of the white men who are her maybe-fathers).

these bitches are crazy and you know what good for them. that shit needs to be contained and quarantined though and that's why in that sense they would be good together.

i want to put them both in a jar and shake it very hard and see what happens. personally i think they will argue and insult each other while working perfectly in sync with each other to break out of the jar and then proceed to kill me and make out sloppy style over my dead body while they're both covered in blood.

like that's it that's the dynamic. send post.

#this is written half in jest btw dont take it too seriously. ppl can dislike what they want and ship x reader if they like #what annoys me is just when ppl are being rude about other ppl's ships like. unprovoked. like girl.... #taimizu #taigen x mizu #mizu x taigen #blue eye samurai #im active on twitter again and the algorithm keeps putting bad takes on my tl against my will !!! #also yes i am aware im saying all this while writinf a tender yearning-filled slowburn fic of them #bcs i DO want them to be gentle. definitely i do. but that comes muuuuuuch later after they both wear each other's edges down ykwim #bcs if they get together any time soon they will literally be a flaming hot mess #sexy hot mess tho #but a mess nonetheless #they have the range! love them for that #fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #wank.mp3 #kinda #might delete later

[rosesvioletshardy]

because i’m back here are my thoughts on the games i didn’t lb for the time i’ve missed i watched some of the games and was following the others through twitter for the rest

03/26

bos/nyi: matinees (derogatory), bruins still suck and all 3 goals were from minnesota men

sens/cats: i don’t go here at all but panthers still suck and would rather kms than be a fan idc if g is there and would rather be a sens fan

flames/oilers: still hate the oilers, mike smith still sucks, johnny i fucking love you hope they re-sign you soon king you keep this team alive, marky i’m sorry you don’t have good defense sometimes and didn’t deserve to get scored on at all also flames own the oilers and the refs sucked the entire game and were oilers fans (nurse was literally holding down mang the last minute of the play and refs didn’t notice, gave matty the penalty when smith punched him in the head while he was in a headlock too and were blind to multiple others that shouldve been oilers penalties)

canes/blues: still love the canes and hate md13 & tda77 thank god for kk and that 7-2 W especially on brady and svech’s birthdays

03/27

nyi/tbl: matinees (derogatory), still hate tampa and they don’t deserve any respect at all, a bunch of missed calls,

phi/nsh: watched it after work, i hate roman josi with a burning passion, they always win then i don’t watch + joel is monicaphobic because he always scores when i don’t watch, also stop losing leads challenge and help your goalie out ffs

avs/min: watched some of it and finished listening at work. inconsistent reffing and were so many no call on the the wild but that’s not shocking they always favor them. truly can’t stand the wild idc if tyson is there, i can’t stand them. it was fully refs vs avs that entire game but good job for nate for standing up for mikko, otherwise fuck the wild they don’t deserve any rights at all

leafs/p*nthers: don’t go here but i hate the panthers and them losing makes me happy

3/28

canes/c*ps: truly one of their best games. fuck everyone on the caps especially tjo77, ao8, and tw43 as well as le20 for the hit on kk. svech noted goon™️, freddie is still hot. and capitals still suck, tw43 acts like a child, and i will never respect them or anyone on that team ever

3/29

isles/cbj: i hope ilya is okay, they actually played decent shocking.

flyers/w*ld: FUCK THE W*LD, as you can tell i still hate the wild and they don’t deserve any happiness, idc if he’s on the team, flyers are still falling apart. happy bday sanny :), i hope the wild don’t have any happiness and choke in playoffs. truly hated the bias towards the w*ld like ???? m*f is on my shitlist, baby flyer noah deserves everything, ref’s were 100% w*ld fans. thank you to bee for drawing a penalty for the frosty goal tho :)

avs/flames: i don’t like it when my teams play against each other. both teams actually played really well. tho i’m still not gonna lb when 2 of them play against each other. refs stop making soft ass calls challenge no wonder no one respects the refs

canes/t*mpa: i still hate tampa and they deserve absolutely no respect, i’m sorry it was national broadcast bc we all know they’re going to be biased towards t🤢l, and they still don’t deserve any rights, canes i’m sorry

3/31

isles/cbj: KEEP ZACH/MAT/OLIVER TOGETHER BAROLD! also find it funny both aho’s in the nhl scored at the same time. that old dudes opinion doesn’t matter at that one point in the 1st period like shut up already glad the mute button exists. (i know i’m talking about isles game but still — but avs will get past 1st & 2nd round just be mad they’re one of the best teams and panthers suck i hope they have no happiness). wasn’t shocking they gave up the lead they’re the isles of course. OLIVER MY BELOVED IM SO HAPPY YOU GOT A GOAL IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER 💞💕❤️‍🔥💘💖 PLUS PALMS GOT A GOAL AND IT FINALLY COUNTED

canes/habs: (insert the aho comment above here too). they played really went especially after playing the lightning so there’s. but habs are last in the league so it wasn’t shocking to see the canes win this game but FREDDIE SHUTOUT

avs/sharks: i’m begging the avs to actually score in the first period again im bored but it’s so nice to have nate back NEWY MY BELOVED also sharks were ugly for challenging it like it was clean and no interference y’all are stupid. DILF GOAL HELMS MY BELOVED i love it when helms scores he deserves it MIKKO MY BELOVED !!! NAZ AND EJ 2 POINT NIGHT !! BURKY MY SWEET BOY

flames/kings: upset haven’t had a marky shutout in a while :( BUT JOHNNY MY BELOVED SAID HES NOT GONNA LET THE KINGS GET ONE. YOU LET ERIK GUDBRANSON SCORE ON YOU ??? FOLD THE FRANCHISE. KINGS ARE STILL UGLY AND FLAMES ARE STILL FIRST IN PACIFIC

h*wks/p*thers: i hate both teams but panthers can choke more and again wish hell upon them and they don’t deserve any happiness and also gudas can fuck right off no wonder i hated him but i hate him even more now on that team they can all fuck off

pens/w*ld: y’all know i hate the pens because i’m a flyers fan BUT THE WILD FINALLY LOST AND THE PENS DID THAT FOR ME

4/01

nyi/nyr: (completely forgot to do it during the game so i did it after) MAT BARZAL 300th POINT AND A GOAL ??? I LOVE THAT ! 2 DILF GOALS ??? THEY DID THAT FOR ME ! ALSO ANDERS ??? FIGHTING ??? HELLO ???? how does this team beat the rangers but lose to a team like montreal i’ll never understand

4/02

avs/pit: nate vs his bestie </3. nate and geno talking about who sid loves more. darcy kuemper my beloved i’m sorry your team stresses you out and you and frankie both save their asses every game <3. MIKKO MY BELOVED !!! NEWY IS MICD ! the wrong nova scotian scored gross. SINNER BOY MY BELOVED. we got burky curling again. refs hate the avs but what else is new. CONTENT KING MY BELOVED <3. HELMS IS INNOCENT ITS HIS 800th GAME FREE HIM!! avs vs getting an en goal . AVS WIN IN REG MY BELOVED

canes/w*ld: didn’t watch much of the game because i was watching flyers but i still hate minnesota and they don’t deserve any right at all. FREDDIE MY BELOVED <333 m*f still sucks and i hate him wish he was still with the h*wks and suffering gross ugly game i don’t care about tyson anymore so his tag is blocked btw. WHICHEVER WILDS PLAYER MADE TURBO BLEED , IM IN YOUR WALLS 🔪 NO SHUTOUT FOR MAF IKTR TURBO MY BELOVED <333 it’s still fuck the wild i could care less for them and hope they have a first round exit

flyers/l*fs: it’s still fuck the leafs and fuck am34 and everyone on that team. toronto still sucks and i wish them no happiness. idk how some people find am34 attractive. finally yandle gets benched ive been saying it since they acquired him and he should’ve stayed whatever team he came from. BABY FLYERS FIRST NHL GAME <3333 LET ZACK FIGHT 🔪 CARTER THOSE SAVES HOLY SHIT ! KEVIN MY BELOVED !! leafs you suck x2! DRAKES DAD MY BELOVED !!! YOU LET FUCKING 6 HEAD SCORE ??? FUCK OFF

flames/blues: this team vs giving marky another shutout. um if im honest i stopped watch after the first period because i got hella depressed like usual and also logged off twitter but i was still getting notifs so RITCHIE ????JOHNNY MY BELOVED NOAH MY BELOVED DUBEY MY BELOVED blues i still hate you and you suck

#shut up monica no one cares #avs lb #flyers lb #isles lb #flames lb #canes lb

[oppabimbab]

chasing euphoria | jeon jungkook

genre : angst, smut(only a little)

parts : 1/2

pairing : jungkook x reader

synopsis : you didn’t see it coming when jungkook confessed that he likes you. how can you expected that coming when he is the person that your best friend is in love with? no matter what happens; you can’t be in love with him so it ends with rejection from you to him. but why does some kind of spark starts to twinkle in your heart, especially when he is no longer making his way, to you?

words count : 3683 words

side note : i literally questioned myself why am i doing with this fanfic???lmaoo sorry if its bad because i just write what comes in my mind bc im bored. lol im dead

✻ Fanfics Archive ✻

“Jungkook, har-harder,” you whimper, arching your back as he pumps inside you with so much force while spreading your legs as wide as he could. You hold on to both of his arms at your sides for support as your body bounce on the bed—looking like a hot mess as ever. He grunts before lowering his body on top of you to suck on your neck like a greedy beast—very unlike of him off bed.

“Tell me how you want me to do with this pussy?” he whispers, planting sloppy and wet kisses along the neck—causing you to moan louder when he found the sweet spot, both in your pussy and neck. It’s crazy how he can send you to another type of universe just by his mouth and hands. You almost lose your vision when Jungkook pushes himself to hit your all with the tip of his cock like tomorrow doesn’t exist. A gush of air escape your lungs, leaving you breathless.

“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” you cry out loud along with moan escaping your dry mouth, making him chuckle. Taking your breast into his mouth, he begins to synchronise his thrust along the sloppy sucking move on your chest. A trail of groans and grunt leave his mouth—looking straight into your eyes whenever he has the chance to do so. His eyes, they are flaming with desire and love. What a perfect combination. Your legs tremble a lot, wanting to cum around his cock so much while chanting his name that never leaves your system. To ease the tense, you wrap them around his waist—nails clawed into his muscular arms. For real, all you wanted is to keep moaning his name for the world to know how good he makes you feel.

“Jungkook! Jungkook!” You scream, filling the air with nothing but moan and his name. The bed creaks as his pace quickened for both of you to reach the climax together.

“I like you,” he whispers with eyes striking into yours. Butterflies in your stomach starts to build when his honeyed voice fills your system. Arched back, eye contact, you try to process the words even you know you have lost your mind the moment he stares at you like his life depends on it. He is fucking hot and gorgeous.

“So much,” Jungkook grunts, thrusting into you for the last time before you cum around him—few second before he fills himself inside you as he collapse on top of you, kissing you for millionth times.

The tingly skin and thumping chest make your wild dream disappears in a blink of eyes as you open your eyes, along with the sweat dripping on the forehead. The quiet and dark room, only a hint of light that escaped from the moon, makes you realise you’ve been dreaming the same shit again. Including tonight, It’s third time this week and you don’t know why the hell you have been dreaming about Jungkook fucking you in some kind of way you have no idea about.

Especially when you have made it clear to him—you’re not having the same feeling as he does, toward you. You flinch when you can feel the sudden wetness is pooling down to your core—sensitive and throbbing, because of him. Slowly, you curl up to make the itchy feeling go away.

It has been a week ever since that day happened. Actually, you’re not sure how long has it been but the thing is, you know for sure how long has it been since both of you stopped talking to each other like you guys always did. It feels like forever and you wonder why you couldn’t get him off your mind from that day.

Hugging your knees, closer to your chest—you start to reminisce the way his eyes gleamed at yours—the way his voice sounded like a sugar coated candy. The way those words came out from his mouth— Something you had expected the least from him ever since you laid your eyes on that man.

“I like you. Like a lot,” Jungkook spoke, breaking the short and comfortable silence between both of you as he looked at you, who was munching on the tiny bit of chocolate croissant that you stole from him.

The time seemed like it has froze around you—the street light looked like it was going to fade—the cold breeze of that night felt like burning your skin, rushing the hot blood straight to your face— your feet, they didn’t feel like it touched the ground because you for sure knew you were not in the reality.

Everything became weird and leaving you and him—staring at each other for a few seconds before you blinked at him, with a small giggle escaped your lips.

“What did you say?” you raised an eyebrow as you tried so hard to sound like you didn’t hear him well enough when everything was crystal clear. For some reason, you needed to hear him twice. You needed to hear him wrong.

“You heard me,” his voice didn’t sound light, it was more intense and serious—dead serious as his darkened gaze strike straight into your soul. Even with the little fear, you managed to stare at him back—looking at his beautiful dark brown orbs under the dim street light along with the long lashes complimenting his eyes.

You know Jungkook speaks louder with his eyes and when you saw there was a sparkle in those eyes—he was telling the truth which left you speechless. He was dead serious. He likes you. He fucking likes you. When did that happen? Why did this happen?

You froze on your seat the moment you caught his gaze while trying to swallow the remaining piece of that sweet thing in your throat. It was supposed to be sweet but why did it taste bitter? The hot frappuccino in your hand was left untouched as you looked at him—forcing yourself to process the words even you have lost a piece of your mind.

“Jungkook...” you let a small squeak after few seconds of silent stare to each other. His name sounds familiar in your mouth—completely dropping the honorifics when both of you are away from office. Breaking the eye contact, you looked away from his dangerous eyes. Looking anywhere but him. Your chest—it felt like it was going to burst anytime soon. He hums, staring at you with so much hope.

“Why? Why do you like me?” you added. A very cliche question, almost sound like an amateur high school girl, who had 0 experience in love but for real, you wanted to know why this gorgeous man had his heart for you. You wanted to know why even you know it wasn’t supposed to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way.

Jungkook re-positioned himself on the cold bench in the park, looking at the direction you were looking—you can see a soft smile appeared on his lips from the corner of your eyes.

“Just like others, I like the physical first,” his voice fills the space.

“You’re beautiful. Damn beautiful,” he added—more like whispering. You bit your lower lip at the words. The way he uttered them, you didn’t know that words would sound ethereal and sexy like this. His words—they felt like his touch. It left tingly feeling under your skin.

“But, I like what’s inside you even more. Quirky, bright, funny, dorky,” he chuckled as he brought his gaze to you—looking at you from the side.

“I don’t know but I like you so much. I want you to know that,” he whispered—not going to lie, you knew there were a hint of hopes in his voice when he spoke. You knew he wanted more from you from the way he caught your eyes. For some reason, you knew nothing would change even he chanted thousand I love you’s.

“Thank you. I appreciate it so much,” you cocked your head to the side and met his eyes. Swear to god, they lost the spark the moment you spoke the words. Jungkook was a bright man, for sure he knew what you meant. With just few lines, he should knew that nothing would go far from this.

He stared at your eyes—more like reading them like a journal. Just like the sweet gentleman he is, he nodded with a soft smile. A small faded smile.

“I wish I knew the reason why,”

“I can’t return the same thing. I’m sorry,”

“I understand,” he nodded. Both of you stared at each other without any words or sound. Just 2 pair of eyes speaking to each other.

“I envy the man who gets your heart,” he scrunched his nose before chuckling—more like a bland giggle to hide the pain in his voice. One thing for sure—he never take his eyes off you. You smiled at him, apologetically.

“I’m sorry,”

When the night passed, both of you spent the night with nothing but silences. The silences that almost killed you inside especially when he sent you home, that was the last time you met his eyes before he drove away, leaving you with an unknown broken heart.

After 3 years of graduating from college and only few months since you started your career—you didn’t know Jungkook would be the first person you would see after leaving those memories of college behind. Well, you can’t say you are that close with him in college days but you are definitely are familiar with him even for sure he has no idea about your existence.

Your best friend, Chaeyoung, loved him. Or still loves him. You still remember the nights where she spent just to talk about how gorgeous Jungkook is—who was one of the hottest senior student council in the college. How her voice reached few octaves when she saw him doing the bare minimum like breathing or walking to the classes—how she squeals like a little girl every time he smiled, even it was definitely not because of her.

Not to forget the way she bawled her eyes off all night when Jungkook graduated—which means no more squealing and screaming every time she sees him.

Everything about her first love experience was childish and interesting to you. Well, both of you and her, were too young to know what is love.

Love is indeed making someone crazy. Chaeyoung loved him so much even after graduating, she didn’t have the courage to let him know that. Even leaving to Canada for her work, she buried the feelings just like that. Deep inside, after few years have passed, you are positive she still feels the same toward him, knowing how loyal she can be sometimes.

The fact you didn’t tell her when you got to work in the same company with him—shows how deep your fear is. You don’t want her to think anything more than this. After 7 months working here—Jungkook is such a great senior to you. He has been that kind of person who would listen more than talk. He let you talk as he looks at you—trying to understand the each words that come out from your mouth. He is bad at making jokes but he makes you laugh with his smallest gesture. The way his eyes caught yours during meeting—cocking his eyebrow to make you confused what the hell is he trying to do. The way he speaks to you—he finds the best words knowing the relationship you both shared is nothing more than just a boss and an amateur worker. You are not complaining. You love the boundary between you and him because you don’t plan to go any further than this. You can’t go any further than this.

In times, when both of you didn’t notice the changes, the relationship becomes closer and affectionate where he would casually ask you out for lunch, dinner or sometimes, a night date at your favourite park. You wouldn’t call it a date but somehow, you realise something has changed between you two. The way the conversation becomes longer than usual—the way his laugh sounds more genuine than he sounds like before— the way his eyes caught yours everytime you talk about your day.

For some reason, you find that being with him is the most comfortable moment for you.

You wonder—what is this? When did this bond happened? When did it comes from only knowing his image from your best friend to completely know his favourite movie and food? Why are you here instead of Chaeyoung? Nobody sees this coming—especially you.

Now, when that unknown relationship starts to build between you and him—it is scattered just like that. In a blink of eyes. Just in a night.

He likes you. That sounds like a dream. More like a dream that you thought will never comes true. You know for the fact that he is a one gorgeous man. The girls would swoon over him every time both of you go out for a business lunch. You can see how many women seemed star strucked every time he flashes that smile when he comes to the office, looking so damn hot in the suit and cases.

After all these years, you finally understand why Chaeyeong was completely head over heels for years—for him.

Taking your phone from the desk, you stare at the notification bar. A heavy sigh leaves your mouth when there is no text from him. It has been a week and don’t know why it kills you inside. The lifestyle has completely changed. There is no more small smile that you both would steal from each other every time you go to his department.

There is no casual talk that would light up the space every time the work stresses you too much. It has been a week—with you avoiding him—with him avoiding you. Eye contacts were stolen but his eyes left you unspoken when he quickly looks away from your eyes.

But, for real, it should be like this. You can’t be in love with him. It really should be like this.

***

You stretch out lazily on the chair after 3 hours of cramping your ass—organizing the documents for next month’s event. A small whimper leaves your mouth as you glance over the clock on the table. It’s already past 1pm, the only answer to why your stomach is screaming for food. Well, you skipped breakfast this morning as you were running late—thanks to the late night thoughts that have been keeping you awake all night. Screw this shit. You don’t know how long will it take for you to brush the thoughts away completely.

“Hey, are you coming?” Wendy, your desk mate disturb your thoughts as she sits on your table—looking at you while swiping the burgundy lipstick all over her lips.

You frown at her.

“To where?” you ask. Wendy raises her eyebrow.

“To company lunch? It’s Jaehyun’s birthday. He is treating everyone today,” she winks before putting the lipstick into her bag—smoothing the pencil skirt that have been complimenting her gorgeous curves. She looks at you as if she wants you to get ready and go with her.

The thing is—you don’t feel like going. No grudge towards Jaehyun though but everyone knows how close Jungkook and Jaehyun are. Of course, he will be there too. That means, you’re going to spend another few hours, avoiding his existence? The best solution is not going. Case solved.

“I think i’m going to grab some sandwich and coffee instead. I’ve told him I don’t feel well,” you crack a small smile at the blonde girl—praying that she won’t notice the slight changes in your behaviour these past few days. Wendy comes closer and touch your forehead with a concern expression all over her face.

“Do you want to go to hospital?”

You scoff at yourself. Of course, hospital for messy mind.

“No, thank you babe. Quick nap and food, i’m going to be okay,” putting the documents aside, you pat Wendy’s back and urge her to leave or she will miss the birthday lunch. Wendy giggles.

“Sure. Call me if you need anything, baby girl,” she pats your chin before clanking the 5-inches heels on the marble floor—leaving you alone in the office. You look around. Almost empty during lunch hours, making you choose nothing but to go out to get your quick sandwich and coffee. You swear to god, where the hell the energy go? Somehow, you have lost it and it’s not very professional to let this personal matter to interrupt your whole mood.

With heavy steps, you grab your purse and leave the office to go get something to eat. Quick sandwich because you don’t feel like eating.

When you arrived at the usual cafe, the cafe looks busier than usual—leaving you standing at the side, frustrated. But, whatever. The screaming inside your stomach is going wilder and you don’t want to spend another few hours with empty stomach before you eat your first meal of the day which is dinner. Life is hard but not to extent to ruin your body.

As the crowd have gone calm a bit, you immediately bring yourself in the order line at the counter while looking at the menu.

But, your eyes catch someone—who looks very familiar. Too familiar and you thought you could avoid him today but God plays no games with you. He is here—only few centimetres apart.

It’s Jungkook—standing in front you, handing a card to the cashier. When he notices someone is staring, he slowly tilts his head, just to look back to your eyes—that are fixed on him. It’s definitely weird to see him this way after the rejection. It’s odd to look at him this long after these past few days—ignoring each other.

“Hi,” he squeaks, loud enough just for you to hear. When you hear his voice, a sudden adrenaline starts to pump inside you. Not sure why but there is a sudden excitement just by looking at him this way. You’re crazy. You know.

“Hi,” you crack a small smile, curling your mouth into thin line, adjusting the way you stand before you tell the order to the barista. Slowly, you look back to him.

“I thought you are going to Jaehyun’s birthday lunch,” you break the silence when you notice he doesn’t look like he has any topic to talk about. He raises an eyebrow before he chuckles and shakes his head.

“Then, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to join too?” he asks—looking at your order on the counter. You shrug.

“I don’t really well so sandwich it is,” you manage to put on a grin even deep inside, both of you know how awkward this conversation sounds like. It doesn’t feel right but none of you know how to make it right.

The expression on his face changes slightly. You wonder why.

“Are you okay?” his voice—there is a hint of concern, which is leaving you with nothing but a small gush of excitement.

You nod.

“I’m fine,” you convince him. He curls his lips into thin line—making his small dimple comes to sight. How can this man be hot and cute at the same time? You take the food on the counter, waiting for him to say anything but it leaves you to no avail. Only silences.

“I have to go. See you around,” when he put the card back into his wallet, he cocks his head to you as he looks like he is rushing back. You smile at him, wanting to open your mouth to say something before you hear someone calls his name.

You look at the direction. There is a woman—almost as tall as you, looking so petite and pure—like how first love would look like. Short hair, bright eyes, angelic smile—what else? She looks so damn beautiful, you can’t deny.

Jungkook immediately looks at her—his face changed. You saw that. It lights up with some kind of expression you have no idea what it looks like but you haven’t seen them before.

You freeze on your feet—still staring at the woman with so much adoration. It’s weird because you know something isn’t right but you choose to ignore the way how happy she looks like when Jungkook looks at her. Then, you finally understand something.

“I see. You’re on date,” you chuckle at him—sending him a teasing smile even for sure, you know your heart isn’t in that state to do so. You’re not sure why you’re chuckling when your heart definitely is clenching at the thought.

Jungkook gives you a small smile as he rubs his nape.

“Not really, just a quick lunch,” he utters, meeting your eyes. Those eyes—goddamn beautiful. You don’t know you have been missing them until today.

“Have a nice day,” you squeak for the last time as you bid him goodbye before you grab the food’s bag tightly in your hands—turning your back to him, you count the steps to leave the cafe. He doesn’t call you—your expectation is ruined. But, on what reason for him to stop you from leaving? There is nothing to say anyway. Every steps—feel like something is throbbing a knife to your chest.

How bold were you to think, that perfect man couldn’t find someone better after you gave such a rejection? A rejection from you was nothing. From the moment you knew him, you are already out of his league and the fact that he said he likes you—might be a mistake. A stupid mistake he shouldn’t do.

How can the small excitement that happened few moments ago—is replaced by this unknown disappointment and heart break that you have no idea about.

Of course, he could find someone better—he should find someone better.

Quickened the steps, you want to know why your heart hurts a lot at the thought. Your heart clenches at the image of that woman—at the image how his face lights up when he saw her.

It hurts even more when deep inside, you know you want him to lay his eyes—only on you.

To be continued in the last part

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook smut #bts #taehyung #namjoon #yoongi #suga #hoseok #j-hope #seokjin #jimin #bts smut #bts angst #kpop #smut #2020 #bts imagines #kpop imagines

[same-snake-different-skin]

this is not my idea btw xD how would the bois react to us being a mythical creature headcannons?(Illy is gonna go feral i can tell omg)

I hope you've realised that you've released the beast.

And it wasn't your idea? That is a first ansnsnknh, also each boi will just have a specific one bc I'm lazy and incoherent and ill so yeet

Dark

At first he's just like "what the actual fuck?" but as he figures it out he's like "oh, so you're a mythical creature? Well, you're not so mythical now."

You met when he decided to go out on a walk once, and he saw a light and went towards it.

You were there, obviously, perched in the branch of a tree, and you both freeze upon seeing each other.

Next thing Dark knows, there's a talon around his torso and he's up in the air.

He takes a moment to figure out what you are, but when he does, he freaks out slightly, because oh fuck, he's midair, and probably about to fall to his death.

Not that it hasn't happened before.

When you realise that he's not even struggling, you stop, midair, and just hover there, staring at him in confusion.

He's not even scared?

You decide to fly down and just put him back down, and when you do, he's immediately circling you, curious.

"You're absolutely stunning."

And then you reveal to him that you're human, too.

He's taken aback, but not too much.

Consider him hooked.

For now, let just assume that you're a Phoenix, reborn from the ashes of those once lost.

He would understand that.

Dark would know what it's like to die and then come back again, right? Of course he would.

He finds comfort in knowing that he's not the only one who had to suffer something like that.

So. Much. Respect.

Seriously this boy has so much respect for you, and not just because you could incinerate him within seconds.

His body is kinda cold all the time, for reasons, and you're literally a loving heater so he probably cuddles you more often than not. Don't tell the others that, though.

He. Loves. Your. Wings.

If it weren't for the fact that they were too hot to touch, he'd run his hands through the feathers.

On the occasion that you do just decide to go full Phoenix, he's in awe.

Literally, you're a giant flaming bird, you're immortal, and you could set fire to anything at any given moment, if you wanted too.

He's even a little bit scared, though he knows you wouldn't hurt him.

He hopes.

Yancy

He'd always wondered why there was a giant block of the prison that nobody but Murderslaughter was allowed in.

So, one night he snuck in, only to be met by a torrent of water.

He dives behind a pillar, and then pokes his head out, to see two glowing eyes, burning blue, peering out at him from the dark.

And then he panics, because WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

Help him.

When he calms down, he looks out again, and slowly steps from behind the pillar, and forwards, into...water?

The following growl would scare the living daylights out of him, because he can't see a thing but the eyes, which are following his every movement.

He fumbles around for a light switch and finally finds one and turns it one.

The space illuminates, and yep, there you are. An absolutely furious Sea Serpent of some type, absolutely furious. Not to mention you're chained up.

Yancy freezes, and then you realise that oh shit he's not gonna hurt me

And so you calm down, and instead of growling, make a noise that sounds like soft clicking.

He sees the chains, and frowns, obviously confused, and sets to work on picking the locks that hold them in place.

You calmly watch him while he works, admittedly admiring him.

He's very cute

When the chains are finally loose, you shake them off, and curl around Yancy, looking into his eyes. He looks a bit scared, but then you're suddenly human, with your arms around him.

He's shook.

Help him.

He helps sneak you out of the prison, and then you come back every third Sunday for visitation.

He's in love. Help him.

The poor baby is absolutely smitten with you.

Please just kiss him.

And so you do.

You're both instantly deemed cutest couple by all the inmates.

You may or may not have decided to get arrested just so you could be with him all the time oops

He's honoured that such an amazing being like you would want to stay with him.

Sometimes you'll both sneak out of prison and you'll take him down to the nearest body of water, which is a very large and secluded lake.

He loves to just admire you while you play about in the water, chirping happily.

Let. Him. Stroke. Your. Scales.

It'll make him happy.

Illinois

He's on an adventure, the usual, but this time he'd ventured into a mountain range and he'd found a 'temple' type place.

Illy, being the idiot he is, went in, taking now notice of the scorch marks on the walls and floor.

Then he sees the diamond on a pedestal. He can't help but dive forwards to get it, and then a cage drops down on him, and a h u g e shadow covers the ground.

He can hear wing beats, but he's a little too scared to look.

Then there's a thump, as something hits the ground. Then the cage is being lifted. And then there's a hot gust of air around him, and he finally peeks, finding himself eye to eye with a dragon.

Well, fuck.

He kinda just stares, and you stare back.

Staring contest to assert dominance? Yup.

You win, obviously, and he hold the diamond out, admittedly too scared to try and keep it.

However, you're much more mesmerized by the guy in front of you.

Illy can't help but notice that your hide is littered with scars, and he assumes that other people have found you before, and obviously knew about you.

He scowls slightly at that, and risks moving closer. You jerk backwards, roaring, and he's on the ground, having stumbled backwards.

He's not one to give up though, and your eyes are way too human for you to just be a dragon. He tries again, this time mumbling that he won't hurt you, and you let him, watching his every move, barbed tail at the ready, and a blast of fire gathered, which is given away by the smoke leaking from the your bared teeth.

He keeps his word, though, and just looks at the scars, amazed.

Then he notices the skeleton in the corner of the room

No comment

He decides to hang about for a while and when you finally trust him enough, you let it be shown that, hey, he was right, you are too human just to be a dragon.

He's shocked, but instantly amazed.

"You are much more interesting than that diamond, Love."

Ah, he's flirting already.

It may be working.

Anyways, time skip.

You two are feral.

He's also pretty feral for you but that's for another time.

You've got sharp teeth and he loves that but shhh

He treats you like royalty, and you treat him like the most precious thing you've ever seen.

Which he is.

That may be the Dragon Instincts™ talking, though.

You. Go. On. Adventures. Together.

You can also fucking demolish anyone who tries to hurt you two on adventures too, so there's that.

In conclusion? Power duo.

Actor Mark

He kinda just...finds you on the manor grounds one day.

He knows a lot about mythology so he instantly figures out what you are.

What, exactly, are you?

A griffin.

The second you see him, you've got him pinned against the ground, sharp beak ready to tear him to shreds if need be.

The idiot isn't afraid, though, and he just reaches up and gently pets your feathers

You instantly just melt, and start cawing softly, which he finds adorable.

The caretaker comes across you two, and is a little bewildered to find that the resident Griffin is actually just a giant cat that craves attention.

Welp

You can bet that when h realises that you're strong enough to carry his weight, he'll want a ride.

Not. Like. That.

He just wants to see the world from above.

Seriously why would anyone say no?

He's absolutely ecstatic when he finds that you're human as well.

Cue him giving you all sorts of gifts.

You name it, he'll get it.

He knows that Griffins have a thing for hoarding things and he's all to happy to cater to that.

Even though you tell him not too.

He does it anyway.

Expect a lot of pampering.

He. Loves. You.

Love him, please.

First kiss? Probably after he gave you something a little too valuable.

At first you were a little annoyed but eventually you just gave in and kissed him senseless.

Gosh, I would do the same, if I could.

Wilford

I am running out of creatures ok.

He's just casually hopping dimensions, cause he can, and then he finds you.

At first he's like "is that a fucking fish??"

No, it's you! And you're a Siren, not a fish.

Well, half fish, half human, who can blame him.

You're sleeping and he's very lucky because if you aren't he might be dead by now.

And then the dumbass wakes you up.

Good going, Wil.

Your tail is quickly no longer a tail, and you've got him underwater before he can realise what's actually going on.

Cue Wilford pulling out his gun.

You shriek, and swim down before he can fire it.

Wil. You scared them.

You come back up soon enough, having decided that he's not worth the risk.

He's sat at the edge of the lake, and he sees you come up a few metres away

He waves, and you wave back to entertain him.

T i m e S k i p ?

You're now inseparable. Wilford literally forced the other egos to help him install a giant pool, as lake-like as possible, for you.

Obviously you're glad.

The others are a bit confused as to why Wil decided to just...date a Siren.

Singing him to sleep? Yes. Please.

Oh, the possibilities.

Damien

At this point I've run out of creatures so kaboom you're a Peryton, a Deer with the wings of a Bird

He's just walking out in the woods one night when he sees a deer, with two blobs on it's back.

He decides to go closer to check the deer out, and upon seeing you properly, he gasps.

This causes you to look at him, and freeze like a deer in headlights (ha!)

He edges closer, slowly, making soft clicking noises as he goes.

You continue to watch, sensing that he's got no malice about him, and let him come close enough.

He's got no idea what you are, but he's amazed anyways.

He reaches out and gently begins to pet your wings.

It's very nice.

Eventually he has to leave, but you don't want him too so bam, human time.

He's. Shook.

He doesn't know how to respond.

Congrats, you've broken him.

He decides to let you stay the night at his, though.

It takes him a while to get used to you but when he does, he becomes a bean.

Absolutely adorable, Damien is.

If he ever cooks food for you both, remind him that you physically cannot eat meat.

Please, he's trying his best.

God he's so soft.

#Darkiplier x reader #darkiplier #yancy x reader #yancy #illinois x reader #illinois #actor mark x reader #actor!mark x reader #actor mark #actor!mark #wilford warfstache x reader #wilford warfstache #damien x reader #mayor damien x reader #damien #mayor damien #x reader #self insert

[cullens-babe]

The Wolf and His Fire

@ma-serannas-vhenan I wanted to tag you bc I wanted to see how you like this bc it took me so long to write it hrjfs.

EDIT: This is so long my bad-

Just Solas talking about Bloom (my Lavellan) and her fire and how he loves it. And some background info you’ll need:

Bloom is a mage and her main element is fire. She can burn a hole in the ground if she wished. Can create a ring of Fire any size within seconds. She’s very powerful with fire, but it causes her pain. If she does fire in a spell or action, she’d be okay. But if she does a lot, it can make her feel dizzy, but at some point it can make her over heat and pass out. It can even make her die. And she can make her hands warm and warm up things, so it’s not all bad :))). However, the other side of this pain is that when she’s sad, she is ice cold. Her body is freezing and she never can warm herself up, her fire magic basically drained away. Its only when she’s surrounded by other people that she loves and loves her in return will her fire slowly gain power. Let me love my disney-ish idea of powers-  Anyways, here we go, hope it’s good👀.

Solas is sitting in the cell at Haven, holding the prisoners hand. She’s passed out and he worries a bit for her, but he’s more focused on her hand. It’a glowing green and pulsating. Solas touches her hand and she flexes her hand and lets out a groan. He assumes that it’s painful for her. He doesn’t know what it is, and it’s very intriguing to him. But he also noticed how hot her skin feels.

‘Is she running a fever?’ he thinks. He rests the back of his hand against her forehead and feels that it is hot as well. Then his attention is brought back to the hand he’s holding when it pulsates and the woman lets out a loud groan of pain. Now the hand that is resting on her chest is glowing orange, the color that matches her ginger hair. He turns it over and jumps back a bit when he suddenly sees a little ball of fire erupt from her hand before it disappeared as soon as it came. He hears her let out another moan of pain and he does feel a little guilty. He decides to stay here for a little while.

He puts his hand on her forehead and flows some magic into her. It’s supposed to help with the pain she has, but he doubts it will do much. This is something he hasn’t seen before, so he tries all he can, and hopes for the best. But to his surprise, the fire in her hand keeps coming back. Her hand would twitch and the fire ball would appear. It was confusing to him, and he just watched until a guard brought her to her own room. He decides to look at it a bit later.

.

.

Her hand felt warm when he pushed it towards the rift, hoping that it would do something. He let her hand go when it closed and she looked at him with a scared like look. “What did you do?” She held her hand with the mark and then looked intrigued. “It’s what you did,” he said with a soft smile. She gave him one back when she noticed him looking at her. “That was some fire, girly,” Varric said with a little laugh. The woman laughed back at him and nodded. “My fire is my main element or strong suit, whatever.” She decided to give an example by opening her right hand and making a fire start in her own hands. “That’s interesting,” Solas said aloud on accident. The woman looked back at him with another smile. “I know, right?! It’s my favorite thing to do.” The woman was so excited but was brought back to the situation when Cassandra grunted at Varric. “We will put that fire to test. We have to keep moving!” The woman nodded at Cassandra and had determination written on her face as they moved forward to another rift. 

.

.

“How is your magic that powerful?” Bloom looked towards Solas as they walked. They were looking for ram meat for the village of Hinterlands and they walked together. “I’m not sure. Fire has just been my strong suit,” she said with a laugh at the end. She looked at her hand that was gloved. Solas noticed that she always wore gloves, never seeming to want to show her hands. Well, at least around anyone but herself. “I used to be more powerful, but that’s not important.” She looked at him with a smile, but he knew she was hiding something.

Her smile and words sounded bright usually, but now they sounded sad and she hesitated with every word, which wasn’t like her. She was strong, determined, and confident, but Solas wonders if she really is any of those. Before he could think of anything else, he heard Cassandra yell that there was trouble. He looked up and saw mages together, ready to attack them. He and Bloom looked at each other and nodded. She ran forward and her staff was already out and she was already glowing with fire. It surrounded her making her look as if she was the fire itself. However, she was careful and never burned any of her friends. It was amazing to him. But he snapped out of his weird trance and joined the fight. The fire in his peripheral vision brought a smile to his face. She sure was full of fire.

.

.

“I felt the whole world change.” For some reason, he felt a little anxious to turn and look at her, but he did and he saw something in her eyes. He doesn’t know what it is but he liked it. She stared at him for a few seconds before saying in a low voice, “Sweet talker.” He felt her gaze being too hot (how surprising) and he had to look away for a second, but she wouldn’t let that happen. She moved his head to face her and she kissed him. His lips were warm but then cold when she pulled away. She looked embarrassed and tried to turn away, but Solas wasn’t going to let that happen.

He gently pulled her hips towards him as he slammed his lips against hers. They were warm and not chapped. They felt so soft. He pulled back and she looked surprised, but a smile spread across her face as he shook his head and went in for another kiss. This time it was more passionate and he put everything into it. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he felt warmth start there. He began to heat up and it didn’t stop at his shoulders. It spread through his entire body. And then one kiss turned into multiple. The fire continued to spread over his body, and it felt good. This warmth was a warm you would feel against a fire making s’mores or a fire that you stand around when you’ve been outside in the snow all day.

He knows he should stop. This cant continue, this is a mistake, this is a distraction. She is a distraction, but he couldn’t think anymore. He just wanted to engulf himself in Blooms flames.

.

.

He stared at his desk in the Rotunda. He scolded himself for letting it get that far, for even thinking of being with her, but the idea wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop thinking of Bloom and the way her lips tasted sweet, she tasted like hot chocolate which brought a smile to his lips now. “Of course she would be something hot,” he said aloud. He crossed his arms as he tried to read a book and he felt the warmth on his arms. His eyes closed and he felt at peace as he thought of her. Her ginger hair, the way she snorted when she laughed, the way her hands are soft even through the gloves she wore, and the way she smiled at him.

It brought him warmth without her powers and he loves it. And that’s when he opens his eyes and realizes what he feels. Love. He loves her. Or that’s what it feels like. Feelings are everywhere and he doesn’t know what’s going on. His heart beats faster when she looks at him, when she makes sure he’s okay in battle, and when she kissed him. His heart is everywhere and he lets out a sigh. ‘The heart is weird’ he thinks to himself. His thoughts of her are interrupted when he hears footsteps. He looks over to the entrance and sees Bloom walking in with a smile and he can’t help but smile back. And even as she teases him until he cant think, he still smiles, but he does have to tell her he needs time. He believes he loves her, but he’d rather be sure and not hurt either of them. 

.

.

“Don’t go.”

It was all she said. She told him one, simple command, and he felt himself turn to led for a second. Her hand wasn’t hot like normal. It was...cold. He didn’t like it and didn’t understand why. And as he stood there for only a few seconds, all of his feelings hit him like a train and he knew how he felt. He loves her. 

“But losing you would...”. He doesn’t finish his sentence and leans in to kiss her. Her lips were soft, once again, but she was cold. It only lasted for a second, however. His cheeks began to become warm from where her hands were placed. He moved his hands down to her hips and she was hot. Before it could go further and lose his courage, he pulled away and looked at her blue eyes for a moment. They were shining in the late sunlight and her hair looked even more beautiful. And he finally noticed that she has freckles. He leaned in and kissed where her freckles were and told her what he wanted to. 

“Ar lath ma, vhenan.”

And as the words left his mouth, he saw her face light up, but he could not face her now. Not yet. 

.

.

He awoke from the Fade to find himself in a place unknown. He wasn’t on the couch in the Rotunda, and after literally a second of looking around, he knew he was in Blooms room, and he felt warmth behind him, so he rolled around and saw something that he loves with his heart. He saw Bloom laying on the bed, wearing his shirt, and looking at peace. It was rare to see her at this much peace. She was always fighting, talking with nobles that bored her, and dealt with the gossip behind her back. But here...she was at peace, and he loves it. Her ginger hair was down, a beautiful sight only he got to see, and shining in the sunrise. She was beautiful and he loves her. He loves her with his being. A part of his mind was telling him ‘No. Stop. This is nonsense’. But he didn’t listen, he ignored it, pushed it away. He doesn’t know what will happen in the future, but he doesn’t care right now. He just looks at his Vhenan with the softest eyes.

He placed his hand on her cheek and stroked his thumb where her freckles were. They made her look so young and she was, and he chuckles on the inside. He’s forgotten how old he is and wonders if she would even love an old man such as he if she knew. However, he couldn’t think long when she suddenly opened her eyes with a groan. “Solas,” she was with a smile. Her blue eyes were glowing and she seemed so bright already. It caused his heart to flutter and his smile brightened. “Good morning, Vhenan.” A blush rose on her cheeks and it spread to the tip of her ears. “My heart, huh?” Her soft smile turned into a teasing smirk. “I’m that important to you?” This time she looked happy but also questioning. It’s as if this was a sort of test, and he was going to pass it. “Yes, Bloom. You are everything to me, and not just my heart. You are my soul and the fire to my ice.” He grabbed her hand and placed it over his heart and he felt the familiar warmth start there. A warmth he began to love and a warmth he craved everyday. He noticed her hand was shaking and he feared that he went to far, but before he could say an apology or anything else, she smiled and kissed him. It was a soft and gentle kiss, his favorite kind of kiss. She pulled away and rested her forehead on his.

“You are my soul and my heart as well, Solas. I think of you whenever I leave Skyhold and you’re not at my side, I think of every moment we’ve ever shared when I am in doubt, and when my fire is out of control and untamed when I’m fighting...I think of you and what you would do.” She was embarrassed to open her eyes, but she did and it was his turn to be in shock. They both erupted into laughter and hugged each other tight. They love each other and that’s the most beautiful thing to Solas.

And the most important thing in his life for this moment.

.

.

“Solas...”

She whispered his name as he backed up. They were in Crestwood and he was going to tell her everything, yet he couldn’t. He looked in her blue eyes and something stopped him, so he broke it off. ‘This is for the best,’ he thought. He backed up from her and released her hand, and it got rid of all of the warmth in his body. The flames that were inside of him suddenly gone cold. 

“Please, Vhenan,” he said, his voice shaking a bit. He tried to keep his face calm, not wanting to show how much this was killing him. But when she grabbed his hand again and got closer to him, the mask broke.

“Solas...don’t leave me. Not now. I love you.” Her words were rushed and her eyes glossy with tears, and he knew tears were in his as well. But that warmth wasn’t back. Were her flames cold as well? But he just shook his head slowly. “You have a rare and marvelous spirit. In another world...”. He couldn’t finish because she cut him off, her words were desperate, sounding odd coming from Bloom. “Why not this one?” He shook his head again and got his hand from her tight grip, but she keeps following him, and he keeps backing away.

“I can’t.” He holds his hands up as he backs away, needing her not to touch him. If she did...he wouldn’t be able to walk away. And he...thinks he should. “I’m sorry.” It’s the last thing he says as he turns around and walks away, but he manages to see those tears finally falling down her face when he turns away, and his finally fall as well when he turns away, and he walks. He walks and he walks until his feet hurt, and then he finally feels the wind blow against him. It’s freezing. Was it always like this? Or is it only now? Only the day he lost his fire.

.

.

Bloom lays in the bed, almost all her clothes shed off, and she lays under the covers of the bed. Alone. Cold. Empty. Corypheus has been defeated, yet she didn’t feel happy. Her bones were cold and she felt like she couldn’t get up without shivering. She hears someone enter and doesn’t have the strength to get up and see who it is. “Bloom.” It’s Cassandra and her voice isn’t determined like it normally is. It’s soft and worried. She gets up slowly to sit up in the bed, still under the covers. She was only wearing a cloth covering her chest and black shorts on. She was hot yet cold. 

“Yes?” She put on her Inquisitor voice, but Cassandra knew it was fake. She came closer to Bloom and sat next to her. “I know you’re not doing well, and I’m not good at this kind of stuff, but I’m worried for you.” Cassandra looked at Bloom and she was serious. Her concern was radiating off of her and Bloom found it sweet. “It’s hard, Cassandra.” She managed to get those words out, her teeth chattering together as she talked. “It only gets like this when I’m sad, believe it or not.” She laughed softly but Cassandra only looked more worried. She pulled Bloom to her and gave her a tight hug. Bloom was confused for a moment, not knowing what to do, but her emotions caught up with her and she let out a little sob...and more followed. Cassandra just held her there, offering her her own warmth and love to help her. And it did.

She slowly was able to get up again, her limbs didn’t feel stiff anymore, she could conjure up a small fire, she had strength to see Varric and Cole, and then she finally felt her fire come back to her. She finally felt hot on the inside (even if she didn’t like it a bit). Her flames were now her own again and she was Bloom Lavellan. The Inquisitor. A heart to a man who has left her alone

And she wasn’t going to let Solas get away from her.

.

.

And here they were. Bloom trapped Solas in a ring of her own fire. She was covered in the fire, but it wasn’t burning her. It never burned her. And Solas finally realized it wasn’t burning him either. It was such a huge space as if they were giants fighting each other, but he didn’t pay attention to that. His focus was on Bloom and they way she was shaking. He saw blood on the chest plate, cuts on her face, but the thing that worried him most was the fact that she had a ball of fire in her hand and it was shaking. Her fire was weak and it only happened when she pushed herself too far or was breaking down emotionally. 

“Solas. Please don’t make me do this!” Her words were shouted and very....desperate. Bloom was strong during the other battles, he witnessed it. Her fire was spreading everywhere, her soldiers were strong, and she did so well. He was proud of her, and he wasn’t surprised. ‘Of course she would be amazing’ he thought. He wanted to respond but didn’t know how. The last time he spoke to her was when he broke her heart even more, and when he destroyed his once again. “Vhenan...”. It was the only word he was able to speak. And then he witness the fire in her hand blow out and her fall to her knees, not even managing to catch herself. He forgot everything in this moment and ran to her. The ring of fire was flickering, it losing its power, yet he continued to run. When he reached her and held her in his arms, she was losing her warmth. Bloom was always hot and he loves it, but now she was warm and he felt it growing colder. 

She was dying. They both knew it. “Oh, Vhenan. What have I done?” He laid his hand against her cheek and saw her freckles again. It was the first thing his eyes saw and he remembers kissing them every morning. She moved her hand, slowly from the pain, and laid it against his cheek. “Hey, Vhenan. Nice to see you here,” she said, her voice shaking with every word and she tried to laugh at the end, but ended with a coughing fit. Blood was leaving her mouth and they knew they had limited time together. “Bloom, I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. You’re dying,” he rushed out. He looked up and saw all the fire everywhere slowly flickering out, and it was hurting him, even more than the pain of the fighting he did. And then it hit him as he saw all this fire.

None of it was necessary. The ring was huge and they didn’t need that much space to talk, some random parts of the area were on fire, he heard soldiers dying because of her fire and no other spells, only fire was used from her, and it lead to this. “Bloom...why did you use only your fire? It will kill you,” he whispered out. She looked at him for a moment and wanted to flick his forehead. “Of course, dummy. I had a plan you see? Use all my fire and die if I couldn’t save you and this world.” Her voice was so shaky and weak and he hated it. He didn’t know what to say to her, so he placed his forehead against hers and whispered words of love to her, a final goodbye, not realizing Bloom lied to him. He was in a rush that he didn’t notice the way she was lying. One hand was still beside her body and it had a dagger. It was a dagger she used when she ran out of fire, and now she did, but it wasn’t used for any of the soldiers. “I love you, ma Vhenan...and I’m sorry,” she said as a tear fell down her face. Solas pulled away and looked at her confused, and didn’t have time to stop her as she used the last of her fire, made the knife be the fire he loved, and plunged it deep into his chest.

He looked down at his chest and he didn’t know what to do as he felt it. That fire. That warmth that was familiar, even if it was causing him pain. The memories of her and him came to his mind for a quick second. All the glances, warm touches, kisses, the laughs, dances, and the love all came back to him. It hit him like a train and forgot about the pain for a second, even if it was killing him. He looked back at her and pulled a piece of her hair and placed it behind her ear. “It’s okay,” he told her and he meant it. She would do whatever it took to protect the people she loves, and if she couldn’t save him, then she’d die with him. “Varric better write stories about you,” he said with a smile. Bloom smiled back at the small joke and the last of her fire went out and her eyes closed. The dagger slowly lost his warmth, and so did he. And he took his last breath beside his Vhenan.

.

.

OKAY SO THAT LAST PARTS NOT THAT GOOD BUT I RLLY LOVE THE REST SNQHS. I hope you like it too >:))). And I think I put all my ideas in here even if the last part took me so long to think of vbfik. I always use that idea of Lavellan killing Solas as she dies as well bc...honestly that’d be a kinda cool ending in a way even if its very Sad and probably won’t happen. 

And there’s proof reading but if there’s mistakes then my bad :(.

#my writing #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age: inquisition #solavellan #solas x lavellan #I love Solas and Bloom. And I have 2 more fics actually I might tag you in #‘Hellfire’ and Then Wolf vs The Fox’ both are for Bloom and Solas lol. Hellfire is from the song ya know #from Hunchback of Notre Dame. I LOVE that song and can see it for Solas in a way of sorts. I’m just struggling on making it like I see it in #my head so...Gonna be awhile probably but the second one is gonna be sooner probably lol. #but yh I hope you liked this and I lowkey need feedback bc this was hard to write snwndb #DA4 Better come out fast bc oHHH BOYYYY. Solavellan is so much angst and I love it so much and need a peaceful ending for themmmm. #And the rest is canon (even if the glove thing for Bloom is still a secret bc hehe) in a way but not the last part bc I have no idea how DA4 #is gonna go. oKAY SORRY SO MANY TAGS FBRHJFD

[bravadoseries]

tell us about your braudrey wasteland baby analysis

this ended up being long and angsty i am sorry . if u want i can analyze songs from his other album in a happier way to even it out lol

“nfwmb”: 

“when i first saw you / the end was soon” - audrey and bruce met on the helicarrier and i think when they fought in new york they both knew they might not come out of it.  audrey was inexperienced and way out of her depth, bruce was really against turning back into the hulk again.  

“Give your heart and soul to charity / ‘Cause the rest of you, the best of you / Honey, belongs to me” - they both give parts of themselves away for the greater good and feel most human with each other

“Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing can get a look in on my baby / Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing” - when hozier wrote this song everyone thought it was about how nothing fucks with his baby because he protects her but he said actually nobody fucks with her because she’s extraordinarily powerful and scary.  i think both of these apply to braudrey—nobody fucks with bruce because audrey protects him, and nobody fucks with the hulk because he’s giant and terrifying 

“moment’s silence (common tongue)” 

“When stunted hand earns place with man by mere monstrosity / Alarms are struck and shore is shook by sheer atrocity / A cure I know that soothes the soul, does so impossibly” - this is related to an upcoming ~chapter~ lol but basically audrey and bruce go on a retreat upstate that’s supposed to give him the opportunity to hulk out and like scare some squirrels in the woods but while they’re there, audrey and the hulk become good friends ? and so that’s why she’s able to reason with bruce when he turns

“almost (sweet music)” 

i would place this one as post aou when audrey thinks bruce is dead.  

“i’m almost me again, she’s almost you” - after a bit, she starts dating again but she’s still very much grieving and hung up on him 

“i wouldn’t know where to start / sweet music playin’ in the dark / be still my foolish heart / don’t ruin this on me” - audrey becomes good friends with wanda and pietro after age of ultron and they haven’t been around long but they ask her to talk about it because she sits in her room playing the same song every day and crying and they’re like … ?

“I got some colour back, she thinks so, too / I laugh like me again, she laughs like you” - i think this is just audrey letting herself be close to people again. it’s not the same but it’s not so lonely

“movement”

“I still watch you when you're groovin’” so this song i think is about like someone dancing and being really seductive and sexy but this reminds me of bruce watching audrey dancing really terribly w tony at every avengers function.  audrey literally cannot dance for shit and it’s endearing to bruce 

“When you move / I can recall somethin' that's gone from me / When you move / Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free” - i think bruce gets kind of fixated on watching audrey spar and fight; like partially because it’s hot but also because he sees her as very powerful and finds it magnetizing 

“no plan” 

i’m gonna go ahead and place this as ragnarok/infinity war 

“for starts / what a waste to say the heart could feel apart / or feel complete, baby” - audrey and bruce reunite on sakaar and it’s a very emotional scene; it’s a waste to say the heart could feel apart because she knows she’s not less without him but there’s this understanding, this thing that’s been off that’s finally righted when they’re back together

“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand / That's how I know now that you understand” - this applies to a very specific moment in ragnarok before they go to fight hela where audrey puts her hand over bruce’s and he looks at her and she’s unable to tell him that if they die right now she loves him but he knows anyway

“There's no plan / There's no race to be run / The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun / There's no plan / There's no kingdom to come / I’ll be your man if you got love to get done / Sit in and watch the sunlight fade / Honey, enjoy, it's gettin' late / There's no plan / There's no hand on the rein / As Mack explained, there will be darkness again” - so this is all very apocalyptic and not to flex but i was at a concert and hozier talked about this line and how the whole song was written about the doomsday clock and a time when it was closer to zero than ever; it’s a song about throwing caution into the wind at the end of the world and i think that’s fitting.  there’s a period where audrey realizes that they’re not gonna beat thanos, and that the snap is gonna happen, and she takes a breath and notices everything around her and just thinks about how she’s lucky to have had it at all.  

“nobody”

“You know when it's twelve o'clock in Soho, baby / It's gin o'clock where I'll wake up, I don't know / And I think about you though everywhere I go / And I've done everything and I've been everywhere, you know” - this just reminds me of when audrey is away on missions and bruce is still at the base; she’s been everywhere in the world because she’s been alive for so long and she’s been around for a lot; the one thing she’s most grateful for her lifetime to have coincided with though is bruce 

 “i’ve had no love like your love / from nobody” - this is just them lol they understand each other on another level

“I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint / I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave” - this is audrey 2 bruce … she would be appalled if he ever tried to get rid of the hulk for good; i think that it’s such a significant part of how they see and understand each other 

“If I had the choice between hearing either noise: The excitement of a thousand or the soothing of your voice / At first chance, I'd take the bed warmed by the body” - they just choose each other.  they choose to be with each other.  this reminds me of the “give your heart and soul to charity” line in nfwmb because it’s like if they had to be heroes without each other they wouldn’t be happy 

“as it was” 

there’s a conversation bruce and audrey have at the safehouse in age of ultron where bruce is saying he doesn’t feel the same since wanda fucked with his head bc of the vision he had, and he’s worried abt whether or not audrey can continue to care for him when the chaos the hulk created wasn’t for any good or if she’s changed her mind and she has to assure him that she hasn’t; there are a lot of lines from this song that remind me of that

-“whatever’s here that’s left of me / is yours just as it was”

-“Just as it was, baby / Before the otherness came / And I knew its name / The drug, the dark, / The light, the flame” 

-“its holds had the fight of my baby / and the lights were s bright as my baby / but your love was unmoved”

-“the sights were as stark as my baby / and the cold cut as sharp as my baby / and the nights were as dark as my baby / half as beautiful, too” (unrelated sidenote but this line gives me chills always)

then the second verse of this reminds me of audrey and bruce in ragnarok: 

“Tell me if somehow Some of it remains How long you would wait for me How long I've been away The shape that I'm in now Your shape in the doorway Make your good love known to me Or just tell me about your day”

“shrike” 

so audrey has a really really hard time saying i love you after bruce leaves at the end of aou, to anyone—she says it to steve maybe once, but she can’t say it besides that one time, and it’s part of why she’s so torn up about peggy dying because she didn’t tell her she loved her enough in the months leading up to her death.  

but also, when bruce comes back, audrey still can’t muster up the ability to say them out loud, and so at the end of infinity war, she’s left without telling any of the people she loves that she loves them.  when she comes back in endgame, she’s able to overcome that to tell them.  this song reminds me of that 

“I couldn't utter my love when it counted / Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now” - this is when she comes back

“The words hung above / But never would form / Like a cry at the final breath that is drawn / Remember me love when I'm reborn / As the shrike to your sharp / And glorious thorn” - this is both; she couldn’t say it, but she’s “reborn” during endgame and she realizes that the worst has already happened countless times; there’s nothing else to be afraid of that she hasn’t survived

“Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted / All of my goodness is going with you now” - this is just audrey when bruce leaves

“talk” 

ok this entire song is just both audrey and bruce when they like each other but don’t wanna say anything about it.  

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found Hey yeah I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground Hey yeah I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around Hey yeah And I'd be the immediate forgiveness In Eurydice Imagine being loved by me

I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) All the things I would do So I try to talk refined For fear that you find out (Hey, yeah) How I'm imagining you

I'd be the last shred of truth In the lost myth of true love Hey yeah I'd be the sweet feeling of release Mankind now dreams of Hey yeah That's found in the last witness before the wave hits Marvelling at God Hey yeah Before he feels alone one final time And marries the sea Imagine being loved by me

“dinner & diatribes” 

i think…..this doesn’t match up exactly but the new year’s eve chapter…..Yeah

“Let there be damage ensued and tabloid news / And that kind of love / That's the kinda love / I’ve been dreaming of”

“would that i” 

okay buckle up this one is a lot

“True that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me / That the sound of the saw must be known by the tree / Must be felled for to fight the cold / I fretted fire but that was long ago” ok this i think is bruce’s perspective; love in withdrawal was the weeping of me = the isolation he put himself in following becoming the hulk was a very bad spot for him even though it was safest.  the sound of the saw must be known by the tree = gotta risk it for the biscuit! must be felled for to fight the cold / i fretted fire but that was long ago = i used to be afraid but now i’m not; it’s worth the risk 

“Oh, but you're good to me / Oh, you're good to me / Oh, but you're good to me, baby” bruce is just continually confused and surprised by the fact that audrey isn’t scared of him 

“With each love I cut loose I was never the same / Watching still living roots be consumed by the flame / I was fixed on your hand of gold / Laying waste to my loving long ago” 

-with each love i cut loose i was never the same = bruce has cut off everyone he’s been close to since the hulk happened and he’s not the same when he’s alone; he thinks he can make it by himself and he probably can but he doesn’t have to

-i was fixed on your hand of gold / laying waste to my loving long ago = this is actually nice bc the gold imagery specifically matches up with what audrey’s powers are, and so there’s that connection to be made 

“And it's not tonight / Where I'm set alight / And I blink in sight / Your blinding light” this also just matches up really nicely w audrey’s powers lol

“sunlight” 

“I had been lost to you, sunlight / And flew like a moth to you, sunlight / Oh your love is sunlight” i think this would be bruce after age of ultron ? he’s been lost to audrey, but when he sees her he gravitates back toward her immediately; he sees her love as sunlight

“the tale is the same / told before and told again /  soul that's born in cold and rain / knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight” - bruce is the soul that’s born in cold and rain and audrey is sunlight

“Each day you rise with me / Know that I would gladly be / The Icarus to your certainty” - i think he’s just devoted to her 

“wasteland, baby” 

okay going line by line for this one lol buckle up!

“All the fear and fire of the end of the world / Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl” - when they’re fighting thanos audrey is actually reminded of bruce; how losing him felt like the world ending, now it’s for real

“Happens great, happens sweet / Happily, I'm unfazed here, too” - when audrey goes at the end of infinity war, she goes smiling 

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you” - they just love each other

“All the things yet to come are the things that have passed / Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass / Like the bonfire that burns / That all words in the fight fell to” - everything that has happened has led them to this moment; loki, ultron, hydra, etc. without that they wouldn’t have each other, but they also probably wouldn’t be dealing with this mess.  it’s not good or bad, it’s just the way things went.  

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you”

“And I love too, that love soon might end / Be known in its aching / Shown in the shaking / Lately of my wasteland, baby” - they know it’s over before it’s over; they can tell what’s going to happen before it happens, and they’re just paralyzed in that moment 

“Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking / Though quaking, though crazy / That's just wasteland, baby” - when audrey goes bruce pleads with her to stay

“And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun / To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on / And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs” - in the years after the snap, bruce has the most vivid dream almost every night where audrey’s . like . ghost comes to him and takes him to the top of a hill and they watch the world end around them.  it’s terrible and every time he wakes up he misses it.  

“When the stench of the sea and the absence of green” - ok lol this just reminds me of how the hulk wouldn’t come fight at the end of infinity war 

“Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen / Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do” - the world ends; half of everything is dead; but they’re still left.  bruce and steve and everyone have to go on living still.  

“Wasteland, baby / I'm in love, I'm in love with you / (That's it)” - this abruptness just reminds me a lot of the snap; that’s it.  there’s no going back.  

[blvelight]

hey guys !! i’m kat and i’m super excited for this rp ! i live in the nt, i’m a double leo and a floundering english student who’s fallen behind on my skincare routine this past week and feels a bit like shit as a result.. dk what that says about me when it’s all put together but let’s hope it’s nothing too ugly dgsfklj i’m super late with getting my intros all ready for opening — bc i have less than an hour as i’m typing out this intro to get dree and tally’s prepared DSKGLF — so stats, plots, etc are gonna have to wait as well, unfortunately. but getting to the point:

☕ . ˚ ◝ ( deepika padukone. cis female. she/her. ) amla jothadi is a thirty-one year old libra. the deja brew cake decorator’s go-to order is raspberry peach italian soda and a chocolatine. they like to listen to he can only hold her by amy winehouse while they wait for their order. the employees of the deja brew think they are apprehensive but swear they’re totally adept as well. maybe that’s why neatly-stacked novels, lilacs, bitten pen caps, and singing in a long and hot shower remind me of them.

i’m literally just copying this from an old intro and fixing shit for location’s sake, so don’t @ me if i fucked up a bit in doing that DFKLS

had lived in london for her entire life and her home life was rather.. standard ??

middle child, only daughter syndrome didn’t hit her too hard bc she was the apple of her father’s eye and was a near-mirror image of her mother, so she had them both wrapped around her finger fsgdkldfgj

her and her brothers got along okay, hair-pulling and exclusion bc of “boys only”/”leave my friends alone” moments aside, so it really was a rather mundane childhood that she had

p much the crybaby of her graduating class, overly sentimental and sweet so she was at most an annoyance to some

but it did make her a solid target for some of the mean kids bc they could get a reaction out of her pretty easily

nonetheless, she wasn’t the type to hold grudges for it, just dodged them and moved on from it as much as she could bc she figured they’d get bored of seeking her out eventually

all in all a teacher’s pet, friendly to all and just. adorable. slkdfgjdfs

she had an interest in cooking and writing from a young age, but left the former as a hobby and began to build a desire to do the latter as a career

but of course ! nothing is that simple !

at some point she realized that writing probably wouldn’t pay the bills by itself — when she actually became an adult and would have to do that herself sfgdlk

so upon entering uni, she decided to go for a communications degree, thinking that she could at least start off as a secretary or clerk at a media group before doing something creative there

.. but years passed after graduating and she was still but a clerk. handling files and documents, answering calls that shouldn’t even be sent her way at times bc the people around her couldn’t be bothered, having a hard time with putting her foot down so she winds up swamped and stagnant before even hitting her thirties

and that’s not at all how she pictured her life at this age, so she’s disappointed and stressed and sad af

but she thought she had to take it bc it seemed like an unspoken rule that you do four years at uni, you do your masters or get out there and lock yourself down to a company/occupation for the next 40 years of your life before living it up at 70 in florida or at your tiny house in the countryside

her passion for writing and some of her hobbies floundered bc of how much the desk jockey life stressed her out, the only thing keeping her from wholly spiralling being her fridays at the pub with her college friends

.. though seeing things work out for them ( for the most part ) where they didn’t for her didn’t alleviate her worries 100%

so come her 29th birthday, she.. had her inevitable quarter life crisis of sorts, cringey rom com plotlines serving as inspo

bc she just. wasn’t happy with her life at that point, had no real sense of adventure or pure freedom bc she locked herself down to what she thought she’s supposed to do or focus on

and it was when she was binging.. rom coms klgjdsfgkl that she figured she should throw caution to the wind and go somewhere else. some deep diving via google for destinations later and she fell in love with italy !

.... yes, we’re going on a bit of a road trip before we get to l.a, bear with me for a sec

so she spent time in a little village, just living life and staying far from her former office life, going at her own pace

she wanted to delve into writing as she planned at one point, a now or never kind of thing, and it was just a relief to even get back to it so she’s been at it ever since

cooking classes and baking, reading in the garden near her house, lots of other cute things filled up her days now and she’s having a great time as a result sgkldjsd

it was there that she began doing a few odd jobs here and there so she could sustain herself financially, as opposed to returning to some 9-5 life so soon, and just focused on herself and her interests with this new lifestyle

it’s been a year or so since she left that village and travelled a bit — south of france, spain, basically went all over the mediterranean on her way to the states for what was supposed to be a few months of leisure and repeating the cycle she’s been on for a while

 but then.. she got to l.a. and just ?? decided to stay a little longer than expected, has been here for a few months now and doesn’t have any upcoming plans to uproot herself again

she’s currently working part-time at deja brew as a cake decorator. figured she might as well work at the café she frequents bc coffee ? treats ?? a chill reading environment ??? sign her up !

you can find her at some cozy little bookstore nestled somewhere in the city as another gig she’s taken up for now, or at her small studio apartment that’s littered with plants, novels and pillows fdksgjgldfk

personality and such

basically........ amla’s baby

she’s not naive, but she has a relatively gentle soul

wholesome isn’t quite a word i’d use to describe her but she’s just super cute and a simpleton in some respects

the type to spare baby ants and spiders from being crushed by a slipper for being in the house, but to get someone else to take care of the.. creepier insects jskdfh

she’s not a big risk-taker bc the unknown scares her, so for her to even do what she’s been doing for the last two years took a lot out of her to muster up the nerve

so she’s a bit of an anxious person who at times needs assurance, even from a complete stranger

v big on global issues bc she wants the world to be a more peaceful place, so there’s a side of her that tends to see in black and white rather than grey…. or rose ig sdgklsd

the simple things in life appeal to her a lot, though a luxury or two is welcome if she can put it to good use

the mom friend in some situations :( a cutie

she’s a romantic, like she has the vibe even when she tries to play it off like the extent of it is a bit closeted, secretive yknow ??

bc even then.. she has her trepidations bc of the relationships that had flamed out in the past for whatever reason

has a cat named rory, who she loves and might be projecting her slight baby fever onto for the time being

.. basically she’s your white picket fence fantasist — but make it rustic and less cliché — who’s managing to grip her bearings on the matter, if you couldn’t already tell slkgjgfsd

y’know how some people get really emotional and quiet in an argument but proceed to snap almost out of fucking nowhere ?? that’s amla

sdlfkgj she’s used to having been a doormat or target in the past, so she tends to let herself take it until she realizes “ hey, i don’t need to be shit on like this, how dare you — ”

just. love her please fklfgdjskld

#╳┊: — we packin’ diamond pistols ! •「 ooc ! 」 #hqbrew:intro #going straight to my queue fdsklgj #and i'll mention my d*scord and all of that in one of the other intros bc. im not navigating html right now ! nope ! #q.

[destrction-blog]

◜ –––   PENELOPE MITCHELL / CISFEMALE / 25. meet alexis gondringer. they’re a bouncer at 7-0-8. they’ve lived in chicago for eighteen years. they’re known as the determinator, because she’s vivacious and flighty.

now here’s ALEXIS, ur local messy blonde. goes by lex or lexy, just tryna live her best life. 

                                                    i.    aesthetic.

she is the feeling you get when you step too close to a fire. messy blonde hair and tired eyes bearing a glimmer of mischief. contagious laughter and the feeling you have lying under the night sky. vodka mixed with something sweet. cut - off shorts and flirting with the risks in life. she’s a flame burning bright and hot ;   maybe destined to burn out too soon.

pinterest boiiii.

character inspiration: lexi branson, hayes morrison, sara lance, margo roth spiegelman, christina yang, peyton sawyer, kat edison. a lil bit of heather davis and gina linetti.

                                                 ii.    background.

so alexis grew up in a divorced family. it’s almost sitcom - worthy, how amicable the divorce has become. after her younger sister was born when lexy was five, zane gondringer and macey dutka's relationship went down the shitter. they stayed together for a couple years following her birth, even moving to chicago from the suburbs to see if it would help. but a year after the move, they finally divorced. it was a very dramatic affair, full of thrown hair dryers and “i never really loved you, you piece of shit”s and threats to take the children. they became known in the neighborhood for their theatrical fights, tbh. so safe to say it was a big ordeal when they divorced, and once it went through, the south side celebrated right alongside them in their newfound freedom from each other. the bars were really popping that night, 19 years ago.      (  and still do on the anniversary of their divorce. it’s a good excuse to drink, really  )

from there on out the gondringer girls spent their years bouncing back and forth between parents only semi - fit to raise children. their mother was a drunk and suffered from bpd that went untreated, eventually affecting her relationship with her children. though lexy and her mom had never been particularly close, alexis really sealed the deal when, at fourteen years old in front of a room of witnesses, she chose to live with her dad on a more permanent basis. sure, he wasn’t perfect --- with his fake hippie outlook and random disappearing acts to travel and penchance for gambling (honestly i imagine him being like the it’s always sunny in philadelphia crew where he scams ppl and generally is a Bad Person but anywhomst) --- but he was still the parent she was closest to. her sister continued the back and forth for five more years. and when she chose, she chose to stay with their mom.

years have passed and zane and macey still don’t particularly get along, but they do get lunch every week to talk about the girls. so pleasant. damn.

honestly her upbringing was full of shenanigans and dysfunctional family moments and illegal activity and her dad’s rotating door of girlfriends

one time he deadass dated an actual, literal hitwoman for the mob in chicago. lexy and zane are here for a good time not a long time!!!!

SO NOW AT 25 she’s working at the 7 - 0 - 8 as a bouncer. tiny n fighty. lives in an apartment with probably 2 - 3 other people so there’s a connection there somewhere. always having to help her dad out of some ridiculous situation. drives this rundown ass car but BET if she’s ever gonna give valerie up!!!! 

there’s probably some things i’m missing here but that’s the gist of it y’all

                                                 iii.    personality.

she’s so lively and outgoing!!! incredibly social. loves fun and adventures

a lil agressive, 300lbs of fight me in a 140lb body

doesn’t know how to properly deal with her emotions!!!!

has a tendency to run when things get too hard or serious, it’s what she does

flighty as all hell tbh

epitome of “do as i say not as i do” bc she gives great advice but bet she won’t follow any of it herself ever and don’t call her out on that bc she’ll ignore you

seems carefree, but is probably actually worrying about fifteen different things at any given moment

incredibly blunt, she’ll tell you what you need to hear vs what you wanT to hear

nosy, loves playing therapist bc SHE may be playing emotional whack a mole but that doesn’t mean every else should!!

loves taking risks, v daring, a tad reckless and impulsive. impetuous

any emotions other than positive ones? cancelled

sorta unreliable ?? sorta irresponsible ?? gets it from her parents. it’s subtle though, but enough that it causes problems

which is problematic bc she’s too self - reliant for that

SHE MEANS WELL OK SHE HAS A GOOD HEART

the kind of personality and smile you could pick out of a line - up

really is trying to be a better person tho

                                                   iv.    fun shit.

wants nothing more than to spend her life traveling around the usa

really into photography and painting!!!! her hidden talents. she has her pictures and polaroids and half - finished paintings all over her apartment

ripped jeans and fishnets are the move

hates wearing bras, would sooner wear a bralette or nothing

mild bisexual, as in v selective abt the guys she’s attracted to and will sleep with, mostly prefers women

indulgent, likes the finer things in life like pretty women and cheap vodka

mastered the perfect winged eyeliner

dance dance revolution and mario kart champion

insomnia city

                                                iv.    connections.

roommates!!! girl gang!!!!

flings

friends pls

dynamic inspired by stefan and lexi, i love a legendary friendship

her SISTER

dealer

idk more to come eventually

#ag. ━━ RATTLE BONES WITH YOUR EARTHQUAKE HEARTBEAT ( character study. ) #windyintro #OK THERE WE GO #THERE THEY BOTH ARE

[gukyi]

tripping over ourselves | jsw

⇒ summary: jeong sewoon is your best friend. he also happens to be a vampire. you’re no expert with vampires, but there must be something about his immortality that keeps drawing you to him. no way is it just his cute personality on its own.

⇒ vampire!au, friends to lovers!au

⇒ pairing: jeong sewoon x reader

⇒ word count: 4k

⇒ warnings: blood mention (it’s a vampire au, i don’t know what else you were expecting)

⇒ a/n: happy birthday to the baddest bitch i know, @sihyun !!!! i love u so much and i wanted to do something special for ur birthday, so here this monstrosity is!!!!! i could make this authors note like 4k long if i wanted to bc i love u so much. on a side note, me writing for a pd101 boy is kind of a one time thing. soz.

There’s a lifeless, colorless bird on your windowsill, and it’s the first thing you notice when you step inside your shared apartment. The poor thing’s had the life drained right out of it; decaying, rotting scent wafting through the room. It almost looks peaceful, really, collapsed on its side like it just conked out after a very long flight, feathers fluttering softly in the breeze that runs through the flat.

Well, at least Sewoon had the decency to open the window to get the smell out.

Dead animals are a surprisingly common occurrence in whatever fucked-up household you live in, though you made the executive decision a while ago to restrict the animals that Sewoon treks in to just birds of flight. No penguins, tragically, and also no rodents. Dead birds are a little less gross than dead rats. You see enough of those already whenever you walk down the sidewalk of the city center.

You sigh, seeing this as only a minor inconvenience at best, and drop your backpack to your feet, letting it hit the wall beside it. Once that damn heavy thing is off of your shoulders, you make a beeline for his room, storming towards it and trying not to pay too much attention to the lifeless creature on the windowsill. The less you worry about it, the better. If you spent your entire life stressing over the fact that sometimes Sewoon has to kill birds to live, then you’d never get anything done.

“Sewoon?” You ask, a little peeved, not even bothering to knock on his closed door and instead just barging inside. “I thought we discussed—”

Sewoon looks up like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide as the light from the hallway illuminates a bit of his figure. His room is pitch black otherwise, every part of it hidden in the shadows, including himself. His eyes are a blazing shade of red, a stark signal that he’s just fed. In a little, they’ll fade back to a casual mahogany shade. Something a little less… obvious. There’s a thin trail of blood from his bottom lip to his chin, little drops falling onto his sheets.

“You’re kidding me,” you immediately say, crossing your arms over your chest as you take in the sight in front of you. “Don’t tell me you’ve been batting around in the dark while I was in class.”

“I have,” Sewoon says, grinning guiltily. “But not by much. I just haven’t fed in a while, I got a bit desperate. Didn’t want you to come home to see me freaking out in the living room, getting blood stains all over the furniture.”

You chuckle, stifling a much bigger laugh. “You do that even when I am home.”

“But I try to avoid it when you’re not, just so you don’t scream at me when you get back,” he insists, eyes pleading. God, they always fucking work on you. Vamps with soft hearts are a deadly combination. No pun intended.

“I’ll scream at you any time.”

“Like now?” He asks, wincing. He knows he’s in some minorly deep shit now.

“Like now,” you confirm, walking into his dark room and pulling him from his bed by his shirt collar, holding onto it tightly as you drag him outside. “I thought we discussed the dead bird shit, man,” you say, exasperated. “What the hell is this?”

“The dead bird shit.”

“Exactly. When did you even have the time to feed off of it?” You ask, pushing the boy backwards, making him stumble over his feet, dazed. You peer out the window, squinting at the moon behind the skyscrapers. “The sun barely set an hour ago.”

“I was really hungry,” Sewoon admits, and from the way his eyes are still ignited in red hot flames and the blood on his chin is still fresh, you know he’s telling the truth. “It’s been tough.”

“Don’t you work the night shift at the hospital?” You remind him. Typically, this type of incident isn’t an issue, just because Sewoon kind of has an endless supply of human blood whenever he goes in for his internship. It’s a win-win situation most of the time, really. Sewoon gets his blood and he doesn’t have to come in contact with the sun, which—while it will not kill him—will give him a particularly gnarly sunburn on the skin where exposed. Vamp perks. Or not, you suppose.

“They’ve given me more work this past week,” Sewoon sighs, collapsing onto the couch as you get a paper towel to shove the bird out of the window. Couldn’t he have just done this on his own? “I haven’t had the time to feed.”

“God, I hate it when you’re all responsible and productive. It makes me feel so awful,” you tell him, rolling your eyes as you move his feet off of the couch so you can sit next to him. “You’re literally going to live forever. You have all the time in the world to be productive and responsible. Me? I’m gonna die.”

“Not soon, I hope,” Sewoon says, sitting up and leaning on your shoulder. “Nobody else understands my vampire ways like you do.”

“I’ve had to deal with you my entire life. Vamp or not, you’re stuck with me.”

Sewoon rests his chin on your shoulder and grins your way, a tired, hazy smile, and he shows off his blood-stained fangs in the process. They are, admittedly, very cute for a vampire, endearing and surprisingly fitting for him. It’s like he was just made to be a vamp. You can’t help but send a smile his way, not when it’s late in the evening and time feels delicate and slow. You reach a hand up and wipe away the blood on his chin with your thumb, letting it stain your skin and leave his skin pale in return.

“I’d rather live the rest of my days alone than with someone that isn’t you,” Sewoon says, and the line that resides between platonic and romantic affection is practically moot at this point, a nonsense concept that shouldn’t try to separate relationships into black and white. Every interaction with him that you have is platonic, but it could also be romantic if you wanted it to be.

The question is: Do you want it to be romantic? Does he?

Sewoon’s favorite season is winter. By a very long shot. It used to be summer, but that was before he turned, before he realized that he literally always has to walk around outside covered from head to toe, unless he was looking for some intense sunburn to go along with those awful shorts of his. Now, when the seasons change and he gets to bundle up under layers upon layers of sweaters and coats and scarves, he thrives.

You quite like the colder months too, but maybe that’s just because Sewoon always looks so adorable with that bright orange puffer jacket on over four different sweaters. Like the coziest, bright orange marshmallow in the world. He’s always had a particularly cold body, even when you two were children. Not even being turned into a vamp could change that.

“You look like you’d rather die than let your skin touch the sun,” you’re commenting as the two of you get ready to go out on the town. It’s shopping season (it’s always shopping season, really), and you’re also meeting up with one of his friends at a little winter music festival in the square.

“Isn’t that kind of the point of being a vamp?” Sewoon asks as he zips up that obnoxious orange coat of his. He fishes his only pair of gloves out from the pockets of the jacket, tugging them on before turning to attack his scarf. It takes you guys almost five minutes to get from saying that you’ll leave now to actually leaving. It’s always him.

You laugh. “Sun versus Sewoon, who will come out on top?” You declare in your best wrestling commentator voice.

Sewoon smiles to himself, little white fangs peering out from his closed mouth, meeting his soft pink bottom lip. “Sun, definitely. I’d be toast.”

“Ba dum tss,” you say, noting his probably-intentional pun and grabbing your bag and opening the door, the universal signal for hurry the fuck up, let’s go before it’s tomorrow already. Sewoon gets the message and speeds up the process of putting on his boots before scurrying to join you as you make your way down the hallway.

“Are you looking forward to this music thing?” He asks as you reach the lobby. “The one that Donghyun invited us to?”

You shrug, bracing yourself for the biting wind as you leave your complex. “I guess. I’m not looking forward to standing in the cold for God-knows how long.”

“You just gotta toughen up,” Sewoon says, reaching an arm around you and tugging you close into his side. “I’ll warm you up.”

“You’re a fucking vampire. You wouldn’t warm up even if you stood in flames,” you say, frowning.

“I tried to be hospitable and welcoming and romantic and you shoot me down, once again,” Sewoon says, shaking his head in disapproval. “Stop being so realistic all of the time. It ruins the mood.”

“That’s my job.”

“Ah, yes,” Sewoon nods, chuckling to himself heartily as the two of you make your way along the sidewalks to get to the town center, “Professional Mood Ruiner. Very prestigious title. You should put that on your resumé.”

“I’ll put it right next to Vampire Moral Support,” you joke, grinning his way and shivering from the cold. He tightens his hold on you, coat warming you up in place of the body heat that he no longer possesses.

“Yes, you do that.”

Donghyun is already there when you and Sewoon finally reach the festival stage, munching on some ridiculously unhealthy thing he probably got from a food truck nearby. He turns his head, mouth filled with food, and spots the two of you huddled together to shield yourselves from the cold as you walk over to him.

“How the hell are you wearing short sleeves?” You ask, brows furrowed. “It’s winter.”

“It’s not that cold, you guys are just weak,” Donghyun retorts, making Sewoon roll his eyes. Sometimes, when he does that, you get a little worried that those brown contacts are going to dislodge themselves and reveal the red underneath. “Look, I got us a really good spot near the front.”

“Whose smartass idea was it to have a winter music festival outside,” you mutter to yourself as you and Sewoon situate yourselves together next to Donghyun, who’s already distracted and paying little to no attention to you.

Even so, the crowd is sizeable and also getting very hype over the performing artists, Donghyun included. No wonder he’s wearing some goddamn short sleeves—the body heat he must be producing with all of that obnoxious jumping is probably warming him right up. Meanwhile, you and Sewoon are just casually standing together, swaying back and forth to the rhythm of the music. You probably look like the damn softest couple in the world, hardly even dancing to the upbeat song and all bundled up together, but neither of you are protesting. Sewoon’s always been quite comfy.

Sewoon turns to smile at you when the song changes, the shadow from his cap cast over his face as his fangs gleam in front of you. Vampires have never been so damn cute, or maybe Sewoon’s just an outlier. The one adorable vamp in the population of evil, rude ones. Of course, no wonder he’s ended up with you.

When the show ends, Donghyun rushes up to the two of you from where he was standing near the stage—you hadn’t even realized he had somehow moved—an alarming amount of sweat staining his shirt from all of the excitement. Only Donghyun would fucking somehow manage to start sweating while outside in the middle of a cold winter’s day. He looks absolutely spent, to put it gently, hair matted and panting like a dog.

“Wow, have you guys even moved?” Donghyun asks the two of you in shock. “It’s like you guys have roots growing into the ground, trapping you here.”

“I think we’re quite comfortable, don’t you?” Sewoon says confidently, wrapping his arms even tighter around your body as he grins towards you, nearly knocking into your forehead with that goddamn cap of his. You nod in response, though under this thick jacket, you’re not really sure if anyone noticed.

Donghyun puts a hand up to wave off Sewoon’s words. “Whatever. You guys can keep being soft here as the crowd leaves. I’m out. Catch you later?”

He doesn’t give either of you time to respond to his posed question and suggest another date  for meeting up, just bounces off as if the weather doesn’t affect him whatsoever, skipping away like a child.

“There’s that nice coffee shop nearby,” you remember, not wanting to go back to your apartment just yet. “Wanna go?”

Sewoon nods happily, releasing you from his embrace as the two of you head in the direction of your next destination. On the way, his fingers fiddle with yours, playing a little game in between your bodies until he eventually coaxes you into just holding his hand like normal people do.

Neither of you are really quite normal.

Stepping into the steamy little corner shop, your ears and nose heat up from the sudden change in temperature, making you shiver from the contrast. You know Sewoon experiences no such sensation, but you don’t really think he minds not having that human quality anymore. Not when your shivering is just another excuse for him to wrap his body around you like a fucking hot dog bun, or something. You eventually have to force him off of you—because with his overbearing body on top of all the heat from this coffee and your own outerwear, you feel like you’re about to melt into a pile of lava right on the hardwood floor—but he doesn’t leave you alone without a teasing little smile, one that is so terribly Sewoon of him.

“Black coffee with absolutely no flavor, how intense of you,” you comment as the two of you wander over to where you can pick up your drinks. In your best rugged, bearded lumberjack voice, you say, “Only real men waste five bucks on coffee that has no taste.”

“Oh, shut up, you know why I got it,” Sewoon says, nudging your side as he rolls your eyes, fake sick of your taunting. “Besides, it tastes better than whatever sugar-filled tea you got yourself.”

“Like you know what my very, very delicious peach green tea tastes like. With your taste buds, everything just tastes like blood, to you,” you retort.

“You got me there,” Sewoon says, pointing a finger gun your way as the barista hands you your drinks.

You migrate over to an empty couch, sitting with your legs pressed up against each others to warm up even further.

“Did you like today’s thing?” Sewoon asks, taking a sip of his coffee and not even flinching when the beverage (probably) burns his tongue. Oh, the life of a vamp.

“It was alright, I guess,” you reply. shrugging. You don’t have the invincible tongue that Sewoon does, so you refrain from drinking your tea for a little longer. “I probably would have enjoyed it more if it weren’t cold and if Donghyun weren’t so… Donghyun.”

Sewoon chuckles at your description of his friend. “That’s the most relatable thing I’ve ever heard.” Another sip. “I quite liked it, actually.”

“Really? You could hear the music under all these damn layers?”

Sewoon pouts, not appreciating your humor despite the fact that you’re absolutely hilarious. “Yes, and I enjoyed it. Makes me want to go home and experiment with my own guitar, see what I can come up with.”

“Oh, please don’t,” you say, brows downturned as you finally work up the courage to have a bit of your drink. Tastes perfect. “Your experimenting isn’t as welcome as you think it is.”

“I am a great singer, thank you,” Sewoon says, playfully affronted.

“Yeah, but you’re not necessarily a good ‘let me just strum random notes on my guitar and see if something sounds nice’ person,” you respond. You don’t know how many times you’ve come home from class to hear Sewoon stringing together some awful sounding melody, woken up in the middle of the night to some obnoxious guitaring from the room beside yours because he sleeps during the day.

Sewoon laughs at your rebuttal, too smitten to come up with his own comeback. “I was hoping you’d like it, that’s why I invited you to it.”

You chuckle. “Ah, geez, thanks. Thought I was just invited because I’m your sad mortal roommate.”

“That too,” Sewoon jokes, earning a gasp and a light smack on the shoulder from you. “I’m kidding. I really did think you’d like it, though. Was considering taking you out to another festival like this one when it gets a bit warmer.”

You narrow your eyes, taking a hesitant and drawn-out sip of your tea. “Did Donghyun set you up to do this?”

“No! All me. Thought we could go together, do some festival-y type things and listen to good music,” Sewoon says, grinning and hopeful.

It sounds suspiciously like a date to your ears, but you suppose that friends can have dates. Very romantic-sounding dates. Sewoon’s playing some sort of game here, but you’re not sure if you ever read the instruction manual, so you’re kind of just bullshitting your way through it. But a date—romantic, platonic, pathetic, whatever—with Sewoon is something you find you can never really resist.

One plus side to your best friend-slash-vamp being your long-term uni roommate is the fact that the both of you are typically awake at the same time. This can mostly be chalked up to your absolute shit sleeping schedule and the fact that he has to try and be as awake as he can during the night, since he can’t really do much besides mope in a dark room with the blinds drawn when it’s day.

Truth be told, even before Sewoon turned, he always had kind of a terrible sleeping schedule, always calling you up in high school at three in the morning to go and have some ridiculous escapade in the local park, go to a gas station convenience store and buy an obscene amount of chips before pigging out on the sidewalk. Sewoon really was just meant to be a vampire. Hardly anything changed—other than his unyielding need for blood—when he was bitten. Jeong Sewoon is still Jeong Sewoon, fangs or not, and you are still his best friend, vamp qualities and all.

He doesn’t have his internship this week—something about overstaffing and boring patients and shift cuts that you didn’t pay much attention to—and he doesn’t have class either because he takes it online (so he can do it at night), so he’s kind of just… always at home. Always. To be quite frank, you don’t really like leaving Sewoon at home alone. Not that he’s been known to you to throw massive parties or constantly bring home one-night stands (in fact, he never does the latter), but this whole vampire thing is still a bit new to the both of you. There could always be this one weird trait that could pop out of nowhere and burn the whole damn complex down, and you don’t like taking that chance.

The relationship you have with him is a little weird. You’re not necessarily his caretaker, because he knows how to deal with his own shit most of the time, but you’re also not just his best friend-slash-roommate that just so conveniently happened to want to share an apartment with him. There’s this peculiar mix of friend, guardian, guide, and another thing you don’t like putting a name to.

That thing that makes you think that half of the time there’s some romantic connotation with whatever the hell you’re doing with Sewoon. Whatever it is.

At least you can go to class with peace of mind, knowing that Sewoon typically just keeps himself busy when you’re not there with naps, schoolwork, or that beat-up old guitar that drives you nuts. The one that makes him hiss at you when you try to touch it.

You come home on a Friday night to one of the nicest scenes you think you’ve ever seen in the history of your friendship with Sewoon. Candles are lit all around the living space (you didn’t even know you owned candles) and there are Christmas lights decorating the walls. Sewoon sits on the couch, not a dead animal in sight, curled up in several layers of blankets and duvets and sheets, and a DVD case rests on your coffee table.

“The hell is this?” You ask, mostly in awe as you look around, dropping your bag onto the floor beside you.

“Movie night, except I took the liberty of setting the mood,” Sewoon says, clearly proud of his work.

“What movie are we watching?” You ask in disbelief, settling in on the couch next to him.

“Zootopia,” Sewoon says as he presses a couple of buttons on the remote, bringing the two of you to the loading screen.

“Wow, very romantic. Animals walking on two feet, damn, it just gets you,” you comment sarcastically.

“Leave me alone, I know we both like this movie, so we’re watching it.”

“You know me so well,” you mutter as you let your head rest in the crook of his neck, heaps of blankets covering your bodies.

Surprisingly enough, the movie goes on perfectly and without any interruptions from Sewoon, who is notorious for pausing the movie every five minutes to say something. He just lets his arm tug you in closer as you snuggle together on your sad little couch in this homely apartment. Sewoon always laughs at the worst parts, though, and typically you’re just a little annoyed by the timing but tonight, you can’t help but relish in the sound of his giggles, heart racing when they begin and dropping when they end.

You’d be a fool to not notice the definite romantic aura this entire movie night possesses, from the candles to the blankets to the fairy lights. Even so, you swear to yourself that you’re just friends, that maybe Sewoon’s doing all of this just for fun because you guys are just friends and you’ve always been just friends and that’s how you think you’ll always be. Friends do this type of stuff for their friends? Right?

You’re almost half-asleep by the time the movie draws to a close, Shakira’s voice fading out as Sewoon lowers the volume.

“Sleepy?” He asks, voice thick with tiredness himself.

“Just a little,” you say, trying to hide it even though you know he can see right through you. “What was all of this for, anyway, Sewoon?”

Sewoon blushes a little, eyes glowing a dark burgundy in the candlelight. You’ve never seen them this shade before. “Just a thing for you.”

“For me?”

“Yeah, can’t you tell? I care about you a lot, Y/N. I never want you to leave my side,” Sewoon hums softly, and you have no idea what he’s going to say next, what else he’ll do to sweep you off your feet, until he presses his lips to yours.

This is easily the most lighthearted kiss you’ve ever had, no teeth or tongue, just a child’s playground kiss. Just his lips on yours. It makes you gasp ever so slightly, but immediately you melt into the feeling, smiling on his lips.

“So, how about it?” Sewoon asks, beaming and hopeful and promising. He’ll give you the world if it means your happiness. “Will you accept my very cheesy confession?”

You laugh into your hand, almost too in shock to say anything. Almost. “You’re such a soft vamp, Sewoon, but of course. Always. It’s always been you, Sewoon.”

Grinning in the candlelight, his fangs have never looked better.

#kwriterskollection #sewoon oneshot #jeong sewoon oneshot #jeong sewoon imagine #sewoon scenario #produce 101 oneshot #produce 101 scenario #sewoon fluff #jeong sewoon fluff #i actually have no idea how to tag pd101 things rip #for u luna!!!!! imloveu soooooo much and happy birthday u lil scaley!!!! #w: tripping over ourselves

[outstanding-ocs]

// hi! this is abt an oc i submitted a long time ago named Isaiah!! i originally wrote this bc it’s really hard for me to describe him without going into extreme detail nd now i want to share it bc it’s probably the best piece of writing i’ve ever done. i hope it’s alright!! //

tws for death, some cursing, self-hate, and injury

   You hate the cards you’ve been dealt.    You could have been someone great. You should have been someone great. You should have been a banker, like your father. You should have had a normal life. You were nobility. Your fiancée was nobility. Your entire family line was nobility. And yet, here you are. Laying in the grass, trying to nurse your bleeding wounds and not pass out from the pain.    You should be in Heaven. You should be an angel. You should be laying on fluffy fucking cushions and having life handed to you on a silver platter. But, instead, you’re escaping a battlefield, watching both allies and enemies get hurt because of you. And the worst part is, this is a normal day for you. You don’t bat an eye anymore if you see a friend’s arm get broken. You can’t feel anything anymore when you hear an ally’s cries of agony. You’re numb.        Yeah. Numb. That’s one way to put it.    To be fair, you got yourself into this mess. If you could just control your anger like a normal fucking person could, you wouldn’t have gotten baited into the brawl. You shouldn’t have let yourself get worked up like that. You shouldn’t have thrown the first punch. You shouldn’t have gotten others into this petty fight. But you did, and now you’re paying the price.    It’s all your fault. It’s always your fault. You’re always the one who hits first. And on the rare cases you’re not, you’re always the one to continue it. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t control it. It’s wired in your brain. You’ve tried everything. Stress balls, deep breathing, having someone calm you down. None of it worked. You still have a very hard time controlling your own anger. It’s so pathetic.    You’re so pathetic.    You let out a quiet laugh as you lean back on your arms, turning your gaze towards the night sky and ignoring the white hot flames that shoot up your arms from the pressure being applied so harshly while you’re already injured. You could float or fly, yes, but you deserve this. You deserve these searing flames. Pain is nothing to you. You have, both literally and metaphorically, been through Hell and back. You’ve felt it all. You’re numb to pain.    Numb.        The stars are beautiful tonight, you think. You’re in a very rural area, so space is more obvious than usual. The beautiful pinks and purples and blues all swirled together, surrounded by the tiny, twinkling white dots that are stars. It’s amazing how such tiny things could hold such immense power as to completely explode when they die. For all you know, every single star in front of you could be dead. They could all just be black dwarfs. They could have exploded, and you would never know.     You sigh. Space is the one thing that always stays the same. It’s the one thing you can always count on. Space is always there. You’re not just going to wake up one day and, poof. Space is gone. Sorry, no more stars. It just…doesn’t happen.    Space is one out of only two things that can calm you completely. It’s all you can rely on now. Space and Elvira. That’s all you have. Not even Quinn can control you most of the time. All you can rely on are the love of your “life” and the stars.     Life. Oh, how many memories that one word brings. Memories of screams, mostly your own. Screams of fury, screams of fear. Memories of tears. Tears of terror, tears of sadness, tears of anger. Destroyed rooms. Overturned tables. Broken glass.     The memories of embraces, both warm and cold. Calming embraces. Loving, nurturing, comforting. Controlling embraces that would pin you down, keep you in one place as you struggled and cried and screamed and tried to hit and kick. The inability to pull away. It was for the best. It was for the best, Isaiah. It was the only option. The only way.    The memories of faraway voices, trying to bring you back. Faraway cries, yells, screams. Hands that felt like air that pulled you in close, stroked your hair, touched your face. Airy hands that you didn’t want, didn’t deserve, but wasn’t in the state of mind to protest against them.    The memory of her voice. That calming voice she always used. Quiet and sensitive, she was. Caring and compassionate. Loving and endearing. So many adjectives you could use for just one person. She tried, the poor thing. She really did do her best. You were so lucky to have her. You didn’t deserve her kindness, her support. You didn’t deserve her.    Maybe that’s why he did it. Maybe that’s why the man took her from you. Maybe that’s why he made sure you could still hear the gunshot, feel it to this day. Maybe that’s why he did it on your special day. Maybe…    You shut your eyes tightly. Stop. Stop that. No. Remember something else. Anything else. Anything but that day. You’re over her. You’ve been over her for a very long time. So why does it still hurt you? Why do you still feel physical pain at the thought of her that day? You’re over her.    You’re over her.    …Maybe it’s best to just stop remembering for now.    You let out a gasp of pain as you stand, shocked at the sudden sharp pains that race up your legs. Damn, they really messed you up. They probably would’ve killed you if you hadn’t ran. That’s the one thing you enjoy about being a Demon: no one takes any shame in fleeing. You just wish you hadn’t underestimated your foes. But how were you supposed to know one of them had fire?    You don’t even try to attempt flying right now; that would only cause more strain on your body. Instead, you brush yourself off and start walking. You don’t really care where this direction will take you; you’ve been here already. You’ve been here several times. You’ve been almost everywhere in this country by now. But where else can you go? It’s not like you’re going to be stationed anywhere else any time soon. Ever since you were revived, you’ve wanted to go home. To Britain. Just to see how much has changed, see what everything is like now. It wouldn’t take very long; the entirety of the UK is pretty damn small.     You chuckle, bowing your head. Every building and person from your memories of life feel so small compared to now. You were always in one small space, either in one small room or having small space to move around in due to crowds. The buildings were small, the people were small. Everything is small in Britain!    You actually manage to make yourself laugh a little and keep a small smile on your face for more than a few seconds.     It’s been a while since you’ve had a laugh, what with all the drama going on lately. All the wars and death and fighting. Not just in your world, but with the humans too. There’s been a ton more souls to collect with how violent all of the humans have gotten as of late. Almost all of the Reapers are overworked, the poor things. Sure, you adore seeing people get the justice they deserve in death and you do like participating in the violence every once in a while, but this is just getting ridiculous.     To be fair, it’s still all of your doing. Maybe not you specifically, but your kind is at fault. The second that Demons and Angels begin their conflicts, the entire planet Earth feels it. The more you fight, the more tense the humans and animals get. The conflicts between you two cause the planet to start their own.     But it’s not really like God or Satan are going to listen to that argument, are they? No, they’re too wound up in their own petty conflicts that end the exact same way every god damn time to even notice how their subjects or even the people they’re supposed to be watching over are feeling or how they’re doing or…    You cut yourself off mid-thought. You’re getting worked up again, you tell yourself. You just now notice how your body has grown tense and your pace has slowed down dramatically. Oh no, please don’t say this means that one of those is about to come on. You lean against the nearest tree, ignoring the pain it causes in your shoulder, and try to relax yourself by taking a few deep breaths and trying to make any tight muscles loosen up. It seems to work for a while, and you let out a slow sigh of relief.     That second you’re relaxed, of course, is when the nausea and lightheartedness kicks in. Lights start flashing in the corners of your eyes and you take that as a sign to sit back down, prepared for what’s going to come. The left side of your head begins throbbing and pulsing, gradually moving down your neck and causing dull pains there too. You groan in pain and curl up, pressing your legs to your chest and laying your head against your knees. The world starts spinning and the flashes of light start getting more intense and frequent, only adding to your nausea. You close your eyes and bury your hands in your hair, just waiting for it to be over. The wind and rustling leaves and crickets chirping is more annoying than it’s ever been and you just feel like screaming. The pain and the aggravation is something you’re accustomed to by now but still hard to ignore.     You just sit there, enduring the pain. You’ve felt worse, for sure, but this is the fourth migraine in just this month alone, with many more in both the past and the future. It’s more of a nuisance than anything by now.       You always go through so much pain and suffering for your Lord. And for what? What do you get out of this? What do you achieve? What is your reward?    Nothing.    You gave up everything just for some meager power.    You were weak. And you still are. And now you’re paying the price for that weakness.    You hate the cards you’ve been dealt.    And you also just hate yourself.

#aww poor baby :( #writing #oc stories #queue #submission