#because im avoiding doing my coding assignment

[sillyyuserr]

Not exactly an analysis but possible parallels/basic comparisons <3

Comparing none other than terukane (teru x akane) and dangerously yours masquerade, a 1944 podcast/radio show, in summary is about a french spy named Catherine that is sent to make an American man Rudolf Stephan fall in love with her so she can kill him and gain information, but in the end she falls in love with him too, but he makes her think he never loved her so she can complete her assigned mission (or something like that?)

i saw stuff ab terukane and dangerously yours on tiktok and thought it was so interesting so i wanted to make a thing ab it 😭 FYI this is gonna be alotta words and like zero pictures so turn ur brightness down and don’t kill ur eyes

just the basis of these two are incredibly similar, two people from opposing sides forming an unlikely bond, originally unwanted but now shared?

Comparison/Possible parallel 1:

the line

“if i betray you, i betray myself. if i betray him, i betray my country. my country is very dear to be.”

“dearer than i?”

“… no not dearer than you..”

feels not like a parallel, but so uncomfortably fitting for them. (Akane being in Cathrine’s place and teru being in Rudolf’s place) if taken from akane’s place, “if i betray you, i betray myself, if i betray him, i betray my country, my country is very dear to me” easily we could associate “country” with aoi or one of akane’s supernatural duties or wtv he does with his clock keeper shit

from teru’s place, “dearer than i?” The “i” would pretty obviously be teru

the basis of being in between sides, not knowing which to chose but regardless of which you end up choosing you’re fucked one way or another is a common ground for both catherine and akane, especially with what happened in chapter 112

Comparison/Possible parallel 2:

the line

“I will betray you”

“If you do, you will betray yourself at the same time”

“yes… yes i know”

also feels eerily similar to them aswell. Again akane in cathrine’s place and teru in rudolf’s. This also especially relates to what happened in the “betrayal” part between teru and akane. Again relating to akane not knowing which side he should choose.

in summary, the doomed lovers cathrine and rudolf have so much in common with teru and akane its kind of crazy. how could one possibly look at them and not think of terukane? Akane/Cathrine being inbetween sides (the two sides being their counterpart and their duties) and in the end choosing their duties but still hoping for a seemingly unachievable chance at their counterparts. Ive specifically avoided using words like “coded” or “heavily implied” because i’ve never been completely sure,

Taking it into account, AidaIro are Japanese, and in japan homosexuality isn’t exactly normalized. yes queer people are in japan, they are everywhere and always have been but queer people in japan often conceal their sexuality and from what ive seen simply mentioning homosexuality in the wrong crowd is frowned upon (although don’t take my word for it 100%, i don’t live in japan)

And from what ive seen, AidaIro are pretty “traditional”. Literally name one female character without a male love interest that isnt shijima mei or tiara.

although the whole “lemon and akane” thing happened, it really was just for fun and jokes, although it seems to be a running joke in their friend group that “akane likes lemon” so make of that what you will

queer people being in tbhk is very much possible, we’ve seen panels of boys wanting to be teru’s boyfriend, nene blushing at sakura and claiming she was duped by her gorgeousness, mitsuba constantly accusing kou of wanting to do “pervy” stuff with him, akane mentioning his confusion on how teru can attract both genders (when their current topic had nothing to do with that? Are you the male attracted to him akane?) and natsuhiko’s entire character, but the likeliness of there being multiple queer characters is much lower than just one, of course im not opposed to there being multiple, the more the merrier, but we need to remember homosexuality is not normalized, and in some asian countries homosexuality blatantly doesn’t exist. like you could propose to someone of the same sex and people would say “omg such bffs!!” and we don’t know much about AidaIro besides they’re both girls, both Japanese, one’s a writer and one’s an illustrator.

although this alone does not down-right dismiss the queer implications, it still makes you think. We can never be too sure

Make of this what you will :3 ive been thinking ab compiling every possible queer implication or hint in tbhk but i feel like that sounds stupid and no one would read it

#terukane #aoi akane #minamoto teru #aidairo #analysis #tbhk #real

[thatgirlshit]

HOW TO GET GOOD GRADES - a realistic guide!!

okay so you’re here because you wanna get good grades!! welcome, grab a notebook if you want and just read bcs im about to start shitting information :)

👏 PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS 👏 participate!! if anyone understands the struggle for this, it’s the girl with crippling ADHD but trust me, shit gets so much easier to understand when you actually listen to the teacher’s yapping, no matter how hard it is.

go to school actually ready to learn!! like for me, i grab a coffee at this coffee shop near my school, i read a book before class to warm up my brain and i make a whole ritual out of going to school, that slowly it made me enjoy it more. now i show up to school well rested, nourished and ready to learn.

take notes YOU like. i’m not telling you to go buy $200 acrylic paint markers just to make your title pretty, i’m telling you that no matter what color your pen is, how little or much you write, take notes YOU understand and i guarantee shit will get so much easier for you. (and for the love of god use a pencil for maths!!!)

study the way you want. study in a cafe, library, or your own room for all i care, just do it in a way you love! the more you like it the more you’ll want to do it. you can start by learning about something that interests you if you’d like, and then slowly move onto the topics you have to learn. be sure to take breaks and turn your phone off when you’re doing it!

manage your time efficiently. i don’t wanna be the one to tell you this but babe, priotise your shit. don’t choose to work on a bullshit extra credit project over an assignment that gives you a final grade. do your harder shit first and then move on to the easy stuff.

hang out with people that motivate you. this is more of a tip for life in general but it can apply to academics. if you hang out with 4 idiots, you’ll become the fifth. hang out with people who motivate you to grow and learn as a person.

discover a study method that works for you!! if colour coding works, do it! if blurting works, do it! don’t let anybody force their method on you if yours works best for you!! you know you better than anyone, try some stuff out and figure out what works best for you.

extra tips!!

check your answers after every test!

don’t ever dumb yourself down <3

take lots of breaks to avoid burnout!!

do your homework!

ask for help!!!!

here’s a little reminder that grades aren’t everything, i know how it feels atm but still just fall in love with your life and all of the rest will follow after <3

#hot girl tips #it girl #glowup #self care #glow up #self love #good grades #how to get good grades #older sister advice #older sister tips #girl tips #school tips #good grades tips

[zzoguri]

your moots as tbz members <3 💌

FML okay i have been avoiding this for a while because i feel like i dont have enough knowledge to assign my mutuals to a tbz member </3 SORRY ANON IF U THOUGHT I WAS IGNORING IT! HOWEVER i will attempt to do it with the oomfs i think i'm close to :DD

@haet-sal as sunric

okay i have this joke with lacey that i call her sunwoo for the reason that she jumps into like how many different topics but the reality is that like she is also very eric coded whenever i talk to her </3 she's like the clingy (/pos), shoulder i can rely on, always makes me laugh. thats why she feels very sunric coded to me!

@i520cm as kyuric

LORD ipah is just so extroverted and also an oversharer like eric but has the temper of changmin LIKEEEE ITS ALWAYS SO FUN TO BULLY IPAH IN THE SERVER IM CRYING BUT SHE IS SWEET AS THE TWO!!! everything she says is actually iconic

@winterchimez as sangyeon

i say this not bc ally is sangyeon biased but holy shit like with her interactions she really just does give me sangyeon VIBES. idk abt yall but its gen so strong... does anyone see this... like she is as reliable and as sweet as sangyeon </3

@sungbeam as kevin

talking to duckie is how i imagine talking to kevin would be like. also she is just as sweet and talented as the guy?? and duckie is genuinely so FRIEND SHAPED. like you know how you look at ppl and go like wow. they are so friend shaped i would love to be friends with them. AND ITS TRUE!!! like every convo with her is as chaotic and still as nice <3

@wuahae as bbangmil

THIS IS MAINLY BC OF ALL OUR CONVO ON ANIME AND WEBTOON but i feel like talking to cat is similar to talking to younghoon <3 like she's very humble and always tries to help out. she's also someone who likes to offer a shoulder if anyone needs it <3 but also she does give a bit of hyunjae for how she bullies ipah LMFAO

@stealanity as jacob

MATTY IS A SWEETHEART LIKE IDK ABT YALL. I SEE MATTY AND JUST THINK THIS IS JACOB </3 SHES A SWEETIE but also she's also just as chaotic as jacob <3 like whenever she messages the gc its either her coming to some kind of chaotic mess or her joining in out of the blue like yall will never really know !!!

@justalildumpling as hyunjae

BROTHER IDK ABT YALL BUT J IS SOOOOOO HYUNJAE CODED LIKE. ITS SO FUNNY BC THE FIRST TIME J LIKE FINALLY STARTED TALKING IN OUR SERVER, ITS BEEN LIKE UTTER CHAOS. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THAT DFGUSYGYUFSG also i imagine her laughing style to be just like hyunjae's also HELP!?!?!? and how she bullies ipah is SO CRAZY. j and cat ultimate duo im afraid! and also just like talking style wise, i feel like its similar to his

i tried my best </3 tbf i feel like i need to get to know so much more ppl too </3 but this is just for me :DD

#zzoguri thoughts #okay i go sleep now #its like 4 am HELP

[idealspawn]

throughout my journey on growing as a person somehow the only thing i still havent managed to resolve or find the deepest true cause for is my insecurity regarding my intelligence. every single evidence from outside authorities is screaming in praise and approval of my level of knowledge yet i am filled with such anxiety. i dont know how to not let my high standards lower my self-confidence. i think its good that i do have high standards too in a way but not the anxious perfectionism that comes with it. ive thought maybe im unsure about my competence because i feel like i dont belong. in university since ive had an unconventional route, i sort of lack like a group of coursemates (ive changed universities and now im in like an exchange programme so i havent had and dont have the same curriculum as anyone). so i dont know what i should know and what i shouldnt. like what prior knowledge others have. i dont know where i place in the context. i dont know what is stupid to bring up and what isnt. google also told me that maybe its like the dunning-kruger effect where the more you know the more you become painfully aware of how little you know. i guess thats true. i also in general am like programmed to seek for irregularities (i study philosophy and have a background of doing a lot of things requiring close analysis and pattern recognition) so maybe thats why i only see whats wrong in my work or opinions even if that actually forms a small portion regarding the whole. usually my professors dont even pick up on those things i think are massive logical fallacies and am afraid will fail. i literally only get praise and they are so so so credible too, its not that i get approval from people who dont know any better. i dont know. i have all these explanations in my head but not one of those hits the nail on the head. ive gathered that what relieves my anxiety regarding.. well anything.. is just acknowledgeing it. like cracking the code as to whats the underlying deeper cause that projects itself in this belief, insecurity. but i cant seem to ever get it. i wonder is this too small of a problem to go to a psychologist. right now its not too bad but i actually get like weird intense uncontrollable nervous anxiety twitches and breakdowns from the pure thought of how little i know and what others think of me. im most afraid that they think that i think im smart when in reality im so painfully aware that im speaking on matters i feel i dont have proper knowledge of (yet i must because its an assignment). though i think its pretty apparent that im insecure, at least during presentations or speaking in seminars because of the way i speak (hesitantly). i know that to wait until i truly know sth before i speak is a lost cause. you cant ever fully know anything. and its like. so what if im wrong. nothing happens if im wrong but im so terrified of it. i guess ive tied my intelligence to my identity quite a bit but i dont know if that is it either. i guess you could say i should care less abt what other ppl think but in other areas im so confident and sure of myself i dont know why this is manifest only here. i know im actually quite capable at least compared to some people and there are periods where i do get my feedback on an essay or task and i feel really sure of myself but its a very very small slice of the time. i know comparison isnt proper but its also so necessary and inevitable in my field of study, i cant seem to avoid it. ive genuinely resorted to paying a lot of attention to my looks and makeup that makes me look cute and kind in order to hopefully cause the halo effect that when im silent or say something stupid i get the benefit of the doubt.......... its stupid. but im that afraid :/ of coming across narrow-minded.

[chasing-the-persea]

Here's my rough draft of my pjo fic! It follows the story of Koralia Jackson, Percy and Annabeth's daughter, as she tries to find her place in a world where her parents are legendary heroes and everyone expects her to follow in their footsteps.

As this is a rough draft things get kind of confusing, the pacing is worse than a three-legged race, there's a few accidentally time-traveling tenses, and two narrator shifts (which i've marked). basically, good luck!

i do plan on posting the other four chapters ive drafted for this eventually but, in all honesty, it's going to take a bit to get them even somewhat readable and im only posting these because i lost the motivation to keep writing so like. it may be a month before i share chapter two.

also, there's very vaguely described/implied panicking, character deaths, and drowning.

GRIP OF FATE

CHAPTER 1

It's 1:48 in the morning and Koralia Jackson can't sleep. She's been tossing and turning for hours. Tomorrow is her last day of summer school. If she manages to survive it, she'll be a sixth grader.

If.

She's done her best to prepare: she spent all afternoon doing the last bit of homework her teachers assigned, double-checking it, then triple-checking just to be sure. Her clothes, carefully chosen to avoid being dress-coded, were laid out flat to prevent wrinkles. Her books were already in her backpack, as was her chapstick, extra pencils and pens, hair ties, bandages, and granola bars. Everything she could need was packed. So why was she still so nervous?

Maybe because of the mysterious phone call her parents received that evening.

It wasn't the fact that her parents got a call so late. They volunteered at an organization that helps kids in foster care, and a late call often meant a kid was needing an emergency placement for a night or two.

No, what was mysterious was that after the call, her parents barely said anything the rest of the night. The atmosphere in the house - normally warm, easy, and homely - turned cautious and cold. Her parents were distant; something obviously was bothering them, but when Koralia asked about it they assured her there was nothing wrong. You know how adults can be while talking about something they don't want you to overhear.

Tired of not getting answers, and maybe hoping the extra sleep helps tomorrow go better, Koralia had gone to bed early. Besides, if it was important her parents would have told her what the call was about, right?

Hours later, she wasn't so sure anymore. Hundreds of questions have run through her head and all it's done is get her nerves even more worked up. The only thing she is certain of is that if she lays down for another minute she's going to scream. So, wrapped in a blanket cloak, she tip-toes upstairs for some chamomile tea. She can't help noticing the front door is locked and their dog Mrs. O'Leary is on the porch and laying in front of it.

Mrs. O'Leary wouldn't hurt a fly, but you wouldn't believe it if you saw her. She's like their own Clifford, if Clifford was a mastiff with fur black as night. When she barks it echoes for miles across the empty farmland around them. Koralia's dad jokingly calls her a hellhound because of it. In reality, she's just a big sweetie—emphasis on big. Her dad only puts her outside to run off energy and scare away any unwanted strangers when kids are staying the night. Whatever reason she was outside tonight, it didn't help Koralia's nerves.

It also didn't help when a sobbing scream cut through the silent house like a knife. After nearly jumping a foot in the air she looked towards the two guest bedrooms for the source of the sound, but they were empty; no kids staying the night after all. The cry had come from another floor up. Her parents' room. One of them must be having a nightmare—an all too common occurrence in the Jackson household.

Desperate to overcome her nervous energy, Koralia sips her chamomile tea and looks outside. She realizes there's one thing she hasn't done, one thing that's sure to make everything better: star-gazing.

She tip-toes back downstairs for her glasses, then outside to her hammock. She knew she should be cautious, especially for whatever reason Mrs. O'Leary was outside. But to protect Koralia was why she was out there in the first place, no?

Besides, it was a perfect night.

The air was cool for summer but the dense cover of humidity leftover from the day took away any chill. A gentle breeze blew from the east, surrounding her with the warm scent of growing crops. Fireflies lazily danced in the air, glittering in the twilight. Bullfrogs croaked mournfully in a nearby pond. Whip-poor-wills and screech owls called to each other from trees lining fence rows. If someone listened close enough they could hear the chittering of bats flying around.

Then, of course, there was the reason for going outside in the first place: the stars. The sky was crystal clear. The moon was just beginning to rise, and being so far in the country meant minimal light pollution. Stars light up the night, their violent blazes becoming a soft twinkle in the distant heavens. It made no difference to them if an eleven-year-old girl was having trouble sleeping. Their performance had started millennia ago, before life itself, and would continue long after everyone was gone. Every night the same thing, over and over again, for eternity.

(Not the same every night, Koralia reminded herself. Everything was always moving, on a cosmic scale. She was just too impossibly irrelevant to see anything more than a minuscule change in her lifetime. Not that that thought comforted her any.)

Their consistency is why Koralia liked them so much; the stars were dependable. In a life where everything is constantly moving or changing, it was a comfort to know one could look up and always find their way.

As her eyes found the familiar constellations, she recalled stories her mom had for each one. Straight upwards was Hercules, the mighty hero. A little further down, and to the northwest was Draco, the dragon; Cygnus, the goose; The bears Ursa Major and Minor, with their Big and Little Dippers. Andromeda was nearing the horizon, chased by Cassiopeia, and Perseus had nearly disappeared. Koralia's personal favorite, The Huntress, was rising in the east.

With the soft, comforting words of her mom running through her head, Koralia was asleep before long. And her own nightmare began.

<narrator shift, first-person Koralia's POV>

It started the way it always did. My family and I are swimming in a nearby creek, something we’ve done hundreds of times before. I had even invited some friends I made in kindergarten that year to come with us. The creek itself is one of the smaller ones in the area; it disappears completely during dry spells. But that doesn’t mean there weren't any deep spots or areas with a fast current due to the shallows.

One of my friends is begging me to go to one of the deeper spots with her. She wants to talk about the crush she has on a boy in her class and doesn’t want my brother Evan to overhear. He’s four years old, two years younger than me. My parents don’t like me leaving him out of things, but there are only so many places you can go that he can follow.

As much as I hate to admit it, I was getting tired of him whining and clinging to me like a monkey. I tell him to stay near the shore where Mom and Dad are setting up lunch. It’s shallower there, and we can play his favorite game of seeing who could find the most crawdads when we get back. But he’s not listening. He keeps following us further and deeper.

“Evan, go see Mom and Dad. We’ll be back in a couple minutes, I promise!”

“But Kora, I wanna go with you!”

I don’t know how it happened. The nightmare always gets fuzzy at this point. I don't know what's real anymore and what my mind has made up trying to make sense of everything. Maybe he jumped onto my back as a last resort to stay above the surface. Maybe I tried to shove him off. I dimly remember something grabbing my waist and pulling me backward, then my head hitting something hard on the creek bed. Someone screams. Everything goes black.

It only lasts a couple of seconds, but they feel like a lifetime. Slowly it starts to get brighter. I hear a hissing-humming sound, like someone whispering. I open my eyes but there’s a murky-green darkness all around. I take a breath and water fills my nose instead. I panic.

Where-am-I, where-am-I, underwater. Underwater? Not good. Not-good-not-good-not-good. Don’t-breathe-head-hurts-need-help? Help. HELP!

I kick as hard as I can. I reach up–was the water always this deep?–and I don’t break the surface. I’m sinking? Something grabs my hand. Dad? In my head, I hear his reassuring voice.

"It’s okay, I’ve got you now. You’re safe."

Then Mom is standing over me. She’s looking away, one hand to her mouth, tears running down her face. She has her other arm around a friend, who’s hugging her tightly. I’m laying down somewhere. It’s hard and bumpy. The bank of the creek? I rub the back of my head. My hand comes back red and sticky. Very not good. I attempt to sit up and the world starts spinning. A wave of nausea overwhelms me and it takes all I have to stop it.

Now Dad is here, relief washing over his face. But it doesn't wash away his red eyes, that even now are flitting toward the creek.

People keep popping up, asking if I'm alright. I hear others call out, "Not over here, either. Mr. Hendrick is still searching his branch of the creek."

"What's going on?" I ask. No one meets my eyes. I remember the scream and think of all the faces I saw looking at me, and whose face I didn't.

"Where's Evan? Is he okay, is he alright?" Nobody talks. My chest is hollow.

"What happened? Where's Evan?!" Mom looks to Dad, seeing if he's going to say anything. Now that his relief had worn off, he almost looked numb. But his fists were clenched and shaking, and his eyes were so full of anger they could have set the creek on fire.

Mom bent down and gently took my hand. Tears were already falling on her cheeks. She took a deep, quivering breath and said, "There was an accident in the water. We don't know how it happened but you fell and hit your head...and Evan got caught in the deep current after following you. Both of you went under...you're the only one who came back up.

"Everyone's been searching downstream, the water patrol is on the way, but..." Mom broke down, no longer able to hold back her sobs. Dad tore his eyes away from the creek and grabbed Mom in a hug. He spoke for her, but his anger was still evident as he spits out, "Evan was taken by the current. All we can do now is pray he's found."

<narrator shift, reverting to the previous POV>

But Evan was never found, and five years later Koralia still blames herself for his death. As much as her parents tell her that it wasn't her fault, she will always believe deep down that it was. After that, Koralia refuses to go in water any deeper than her ankles for fear of drowning.

Tonight finally had mercy on her. She was woken from her nightmare by a ball of light shooting across the sky; the biggest meteorite Koralia's ever seen. The amazing sight brought a cheerful ease to her heavy heart, and she found herself smiling when Mrs. O'Leary ran in the direction it was falling, like she was chasing a giant tennis ball. Koralia nodded off once again, and this time no nightmares interrupted her rest.

#grip of fate fic #percy jackson #annabeth chase #koralia jackson #persea posts

[schnees-and-schnugs]

Schneeblings as random pictures I have saved on my phone

Weiss:

Winter:

Whitley:

#Low Effort Content #because im avoiding doing my coding assignment #rwby #weiss schnee #whitley schnee #winter schnee

[bellamygateoldblog]

Mike started acting reaaally weird with both El and Will after the kiss. Mike was obviously going through something there which made him act so ooc during the hug but Lucas and Will were just acting like normal friends would. I noticed Will keep trying to catch Mike's eyes and looked longingly at him a couple of times after the hug but it seemed like Mike avoided him and couldn't look at him in the face for some reason, which was weird because he was fine interacting with Will before the kiss..

the way this scene is filmed is all over the place, with will & mike's hug being edited so badly they swapped placements completely and it's basically telling us they stitched 2 different versions of their hug together, i really doubt there's anything to be seen there.

i noticed it doesn't only happen for mike & will's hug but also for mike & el's first hug, where imo finn/mike looks like he's literally just following through on a direction rather than being 100% in-character:

However This one appears in-character:

what im thrown by is the detachment/incohesiveness between this scene versus the scenes that came before and then after

1. mike not kissing el back and having his eyes wide open, confused -> snuggling with her and looking distraught -> sharing his final moments in a cut back and forth with will & a parallel to will's 'death' + lingering at the byers home + el bathed in sunlight where will was in shade.

2. mike and will sharing a heartfelt moment -> whatever that hug was supposed to be -> sharing their final moments connected as characters.

to be clear, im not implying lucas & will have a ~romantically-coded~ hug- it's just a hug lol. dustin/el & elmax are my favourites hugs of the bunch.

i concluded that the writers/directors didn't necessarily intend for this scene to add anything to their story or tell us anything new, there was no smaller specific dynamic-focused plans worked into the big group shot, it was just a general group shot not meant to be looked into closely (if it were they probably would've filmed it either in one take so as to not ruin the flow with the cuts, or left more time on each hug it wanted us to look at). to me it looks like finn is hugging el and will while in the next frames it's clearly mike looking back at the byers house etc. because he's being singled out.

this is the only explanation that makes sense, otherwise im extremely confused about the places each dynamic is left in.

what i mean to say is i really think analysing this scene for byler evidence is a dead end. its not only this scene i feel that way about, there are others too where i think those scenes are being seen through some shiny rose-tinted shipper glasses. which isn't necessarily a bad thing if you're having fun with it and im not saying that you shouldn't look for crumbs if that's what you enjoy doing, but i have a Thing with shippers who take something like that and run with it, essentially making it into a big widely agreed upon thing and condescendingly declaring it as fact when it's...not even... it's like not even a different interpretation it's literally just not what happened and isn't there at all (SJSJDJAJFSJF) and it can be extremely frustrating and alienating when that happens. im not really into assigning meaning where there is none and seeing byler shippers talk about this moment i get like

whT

#the way bellarke shippers traumatised me......... #thank you for the ask!!!! #stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #will byers

[kimtranssexler]

sorry ive been talkging about adhd a lot recently but i only got diagnosed with it like...two or three weeks ago so im allowed to bc im making up for like the 14 or so years worth of diagnosis i should have had. anyways. like its. its really nice knowing i have it.

it changes a lot about how i think about the things i think and do.

like firstly, theres a lot of stuff that i didnt realize wasnt neurotypical behavior but is also okay to do. like listen to a song on repeat for two weeks straight or spending five hours researching tangerines or learning how to code on multiple separate occasions and then forgetting how to a week later every single time. not saying those specifically are traits of ahdh but thats what comes to mind; you get the drill.

but its also nice to know that the “unhelpful” things i do (like writing long-ass tumblr posts instead of working on overdue projects) are explainable by something because it helps me recognize the patterns; giving myself some leeway and compassion really helps me push through.

like all throughout middle/high school i was “the smart kid who slacked off” and i never did ANY work and i thought that was like...normal? like i thought that everyone was just bad at school and dreaded doing assignments (which they do) and that meant no one ever did anything too. getting bad grades is not at all a bad thing, i just didnt realize that....not everyone got bad grades. i remember now in ap world every week being like “lol of course i didnt do the portfolio, no one actually does those” and my friends were like “*laughs nervously* what the fuck?” 

its strange how ignorant i was but like....no one told me i wasnt normal? (like kids bullied me for being weird but that doesnt count bc again i also thought everyone else was “weird” and everyone got bullied for that). so i just...didnt ever think about it lol.

god anyways to get to the point, its helpful that i know now that these things arent (neuro)typical bahvior because i can spot my negative behaviors and limit them. ok i was also gonna like. talk about something else but i forgot! and i need to do my art project anyways, which ive been avoiding for like 40 minutes or however long i wrote this for. and thats ok im not a bad person for doing that! im working on it.

#ten points for every time i misspell adhd #adhd #vent #vent tw #not really. just a chat. i need a tag for that. #talking to myself #we'll use that one

[dying-alot-tbh]

okay this isn’t homestuck and im very sorry I haven’t been posting homestuck but it’s Hello Charlotte stuff and im begging you to play the game.

But uh, here’s my theory, I wrote a small essay on why I believe Charlotte Wiltshire is trans mtf.

It does have a lot of spoilers for the games though (obviously) so if you care about those don’t read I guess?

I did however mark the spoilers for HC3-

Reasons why Charlotte Wiltshire is trans mtf

Or at least heavily trans coded

(Warning, spoilers for Hello Charlotte and mostly HC3 up ahead)

Okay so Hello Charlotte right? It’s a great game in my opinion, with amazing visuals and storyline. But, Charlotte, I believe, is male to female transgender.

Please take into consideration that this is just a head canon. But really she’s so transcoded i can’t even-

Firstly, the mirror memory. When Charlotte gets knocked out in the locker room, she wakes up and has to find a way out of wherever she ends up, accompanied all by Frei.

She goes through a multitude of puzzles and ends up infront of three mirrors showing a flashback or memory in each. The first mirror is a memory called “Feminine.”

The memory shows a young Charlotte talking to Aiden about her growing her hair out and wearing more dresses. Given that we know Aiden and the other tenants are imaginary friends, this could very well be her consciousness supporting her thoughts about being a girl.

Aiden is a figment of her imagination so it’d make sense that he’d know about her feelings or dysphoria.

Now with Anri, I’m well aware that “Charlie” is just a nickname. But with how she treated Charlotte in the first two games I wouldn’t be surprised if that was just Anri deadnaming Charlotte.

And we all know that Charlotte wouldn’t be one to correct her. Charlotte looked up to Anri so she might just put it off. She’s fragile emotionally, as confirmed by Dr. Huxley with the whole Heart wounds thing.

It also would explain her classmates views on her, along with her quote unquote “making stuff up.” According to Anri, Charlotte made up new lies everyday, about her friends at home, about puppeteers, etc.

I could see that being the reason people didn’t like her but it could also be because in school’s, trans kids aren’t the most accepted people, especially in high school.

Now with the issue of Charlotte being liked by her peers. In the first game Charlotte claims that she’s very popular and we are shown this because all the other kids compliment her and call her great.

Along with the tenants, I believe these claims are delusions. At the school trial, no one votes for Charlotte except Anri, even then it’s not guaranteed based off who you vote for.

And aswell as, in the lunchroom, if you choose to talk to the Npcs, despite supposedly liking Charlotte, none of them want her to sit with them. One girl even makes you back out the spot she was saving if you go next to her.

Along with that, they consistently hint at you sitting with Vincent, or C, saying how lonely he looks, and that he just needs someone nice to go sit with him. All telling Charlotte to go sit with the “god” kid they laughed at and mocked earlier.

You could argue it’s just game mechanics pointing you in the right direction, but if he’s sitting alone in the corner, it’s really not that hard to see him and go talk.

With being trans, I get it’s not the same for everyone, but Charlotte isn’t that confident most times and is pretty ignorant. Waving off all the times she was manipulated by Anri, never sticking up for herself, even when her hair was being torn up and cut by bullies,

Her insecurities could be a result of many things, possibly including gender.

and now for the Hello Charlotte 3 spoilers,

It’s not a huge spoiler but could ruin experiences of people who haven’t played the game.

So,

-/- Spoiler warning!!! For HC3!! Skip to the dashed line to avoid them -/-

Now in Hello Charlotte 3, I’m not focusing on Q84 herself, because she was claimed to be non canon if I remember correctly and I don’t know if I’m wrong or not but I never saw any signs of dysphoria or hints at being amab.

Instead I’m focusing on Scarlett Eyler. Now you may be saying, but what does Scarlett have to do with the original Charlotte?

Well if you played or watched the third game, you’d remember how Scarlett was reborn (is that the right word?) as Charlotte from the first two games.

Since Scarlett is female, I believe it just backs my theory.

Picture this, you have the mind (not memories though) of a female, i.e Scarlett. And if you were born male, you might find quite the amount of problems with this.

You identify as female, but you weren’t born one. You might not notice much at your younger age, and no stereotypes are being forced on you because you’re parents don’t visit often. But as you grow up, you start to find more discomfort in how you look.

And I think the reason it was never mentioned explicitly in the games (aside from her not actually been confirmed trans) is because she was never told it wasn’t okay, her brain seemed to block out the bad stuff her classmates said.

Of course she’d be nervous about going female presenting, anyone would. At least Charlotte, who’s mental health wasn’t the most secure in the first place.

—————————————————

Spoilers for HC3 end here!!

———

And my last point, when C/Vincent is escaping the house with Charlotte, he mentioned how Seth Puppeteers (aka you, the player,) are usually assigned to males, so it was weird that Charlotte was assigned one.

If Seth was assigned to Charlotte when she was ten, before she made up her mind about being female, it’s a possibility that she was assigned Seth because at the time, she ‘was’ male.

That brings me to my conclusion. Charlotte shows a lot of possible signs to being transgender, mtf. Based off, flashbacks and memories, the way she’s seen and treated by her classmates, and because of data we know from the 3rd game.

But that’s just a head canon, I personally see her as mtf, but if you don’t, okay then. It’s just an opinion and I don’t want to push it on anyone.

If I missed anything about her being trans, or got anything wrong, I’d love it if you gave criticism or gave me another reason why it could be a thing-

I believe Charlotte is trans! If you don’t see her that way, that’s okay! No hard feelings.

#hello charlotte #charlotte wiltshire #hc3 #hc2 #hello charlotte 2 #hello charlotte 3 #spoiler warning!! #i didnt really talk about the bullying #i only mentioned it but keep that in mind #I havent edited this so correct me if i mispelled anything- #sorry it isnt #homestuck #charlotte wiltshire trans

[leilabeaux]

In My Sights II

Masterlist | One

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Word Count: 1885

Warning: Schmut, this part literally starts off with a bang.

Summary: Certain obligations call you back home.

Author’s Note: So much for this being a one shot.

Your hand grabbed the headboard tightly, holding on for leverage as you slammed yourself down onto Ivar over and over again. You bit down hard on your lip when you felt that sweet release slowly creeping up on you again. Trying so hard to hold back your desperate moans, you refused to let him know how badly you were falling apart. But when you felt his thumb start to circle around your clit, you were unable to stop yourself from crying out his name.

He wrapped his hand around the back of your neck, pulling you down to him. “Say it again, say my name again,” he whispered harshly into your ear as his thumb moved faster.

Your head was so cloudy from the pleasure that you found yourself willing to follow his order and repeated the cries of his name. He kissed you deeply while his hand tightened around the sides of your neck. You felt the spasms taking over your body as you became lightheaded.

Digging his head back into the pillow, Ivar groaned out loud as he came inside you after feeling your pussy clench around him. Your senses felt overloaded when he loosened his hold on you, the rush of air you were finally able to take in seemed overwhelming. You continued grinding your hips slowly against his while you both rode the aftershock of your orgasms.

You collapsed onto his chest in a sweaty mess of loose limbs. A part of you was surprised he lasted as long as he did. It seemed like he was determined to make up for all the lost time and make sure you didn’t forget him if you decided to make yourself scarce once again.

“Stay with me for once. It’s the least you could do,” he insisted, pulling you back to him when you tried to get out of bed. It was the same thing every time you two got together, he’d beg you to stay and you’d have an internal struggle while you told him no.

Feeling his arm wrap around your back, you laid your head against his chest. “Because I stole your kill?,” you guessed.

“Because you said no,” Ivar lamented softly. Taking your left hand in his own, he gently caressed your empty ring finger. “I still have the ring if you changed your mind.”

You were foolish to think he wouldn’t bring up the elephant in the room.

This is why you stayed away for so long. You knew if you kept showing up in his life that he would slowly try to wear down your resolve. At least he didn’t have the ring with him this time. It was hard enough just saying no to his hopeful face at the time and even harder saying no to the beautiful ruby stone surrounded by a diamond halo.

“Ivar, you hardly know me.” It was the same response you gave him the last time.

Other than your addiction to labels, luxury, and murder, he only knew of a few small facts you deemed safe enough for him to know. None of which you thought would cause a man to spend at least six figures on the perfect piece of jewelry for you.

“Well if you marry me, then I can spend the rest of my life getting to know you,” he contended as he interlaced his fingers with yours.

“How about we just enjoy the next few hours?” You were grateful that you were looking away from him. You didn’t think you could take seeing the disappointment that you were sure was on his face.

Ivar only hummed in response. You knew this wasn’t going to be the last you would hear of this though it seemed like he was conceding for the night. The truth was that you wanted to be his wife, you wanted to wake up every morning in his arms. But you weren’t naive. You knew that the only happy ending women like you get is one where you don’t end up with a bullet in your head.

You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to be lulled by the sound of his heartbeat.

It was a faint buzzing sound that stirred you from your slumber. After a few moments of trying to wake up, you realized it was all coming from your phone. You looked down at Ivar and was thankful that he was still deeply asleep. Carefully slipping away from his hold and out of bed, you grabbed your phone before going to the bathroom for privacy.

You tried to hold back your disgust as you evaluated the room. You couldn’t understand why he would lower himself to such grimy accommodations when he had more than enough money to buy a whole luxury hotel if he wanted to. Shaking your head, you started going through your phone.

You had two missed calls from the same contact. There was no name saved under it, only a single emoji of a cross. Your finger hovered over the screen as you dreaded having to return the call. You knew the voice on the other end would be displeased over being ignored. A single message popped up just when you were about to hit call.

You are due for a confession.

Kind of early for that, ain’t it, Padre?

Do not call me that and you are due whenever I say you are due.

Fine, I’ll be there as soon as I can.

Good. I will have a plane waiting for you at the airport.

That was not good. If he knew where you were, then it was very likely he knew what you were up to. Cracking open the door, you peeked to make sure Ivar was still sleeping. So much for staying till morning.

You quickly freshened yourself up, taking care to wipe the mascara and lipstick smudges from your face, before stepping out and quietly putting your clothes back on. Gathering his clothes, braces, and crutch, you set the items by the bed so he had easy access to them.

You didn’t take a chance on kissing his goodbye, fearful that he would wake and give you too many valid reasons to stay. Hopefully, your parting gift would ease his frustration when he woke up alone.

——

You said you would be there as soon as you can but that was a lie. After your long flight back to Wessex, you decided to take a much needed soak in the bath. It was just before midnight when you texted that you were finally on your way.

Though you never missed an opportunity to get dressed up, you knew walking into the church wearing a high-end dress and a pair of pumps at this time of night could possibly draw some unwanted attention. Instead you were dressed in a well-worn University of Wessex hoodie and plain jeans. To the few people currently occupying the pews, you were just a normal college student looking for some spiritual guidance.

You entered the confessional booth and knelt down on the step, clasping your hands in prayer. “Bless me, father, for I have sinned. It has been three weeks, twelve hours, and six minutes since my last confession.”

You wondered if you had the wrong booth when all you got was silence. Usually the exchange was simple, you would say the code—twelve hours and six minutes—and then the priest passed along a memory stick containing your next assignment. The remainder of the time was spent with listing your unabsolved sins.

“Hello? Is this thing on?,” You jested, giving a few raps on the partition. When it did finally open up, you could tell it was him even though the screen obstructed most of his face. “Damn,” you softly whispered.

Heahmund stared down at you, slowly exhaling as if trying to control his annoyance. “Hello, Sister Mary Julian. I am glad you could finally join me.”

The Bishop was very careful to limit his interactions with you which you took no offense to. The rare times he made an appearance was either to make a very special request or to lecture you over your work. “So, this assignment must be a juicy one if you’re personally delivering it to me,” you hoped.

“I think we both know that there is no new assignment. I had been informed that you have been away for the past few days.” It looked like you were in for a reprimand tonight. Raising his brow at you, he continued, “Tell me, Sister, what was the purpose of your trip? And I think it is in your best interest if you do not lie to me.”

“Pleasure, mainly.” Technically, not a lie. The only reason you took the job was to see Ivar again. “Just needed a bit of R&R.”

“I found it very interesting that the son of a well known diplomat was also there getting some ‘R&R’. A diplomat who is a very generous friend of the church.”

“That is interesting.”

“And even more so that his son unfortunately died due to a severe allergic reaction.”

“Should have avoided the shellfish.”

“I did not get to that part yet.”

“Damn.”

Heahmund pinched the bridge of his nose while he roughly sighed. “While your creativity in your work does amuse me, I thought we agreed that you would not take a contract on your own. Remember I handle the clients and I pick your assignments. All for your safety. Or do I need to remind you why?”

“No.” Your hand instinctively went to scarred skin below your ribs, remembering when you first met him. You were a bloody mess, passed out at his feet after being betrayed by a client. But that was a few years ago and you felt a few years wiser now.

“Do not go behind my back again,” he warned. “Your set of skills have proved useful to me and to the church and I ensure that you are well compensated for it. We would both hate it if I had to cut ties with you now.”

Rising up from the step and brushing the dust off your knees, you were happy there was no mention of what or who else you were doing while away. Heahmund was willing to overlook the sinful acts you had to commit for work purposes but, as a bride of Christ, any personal intimate relationship was nonnegotiable especially one with a man whose family was considered an enemy of the church.

“I have not excused you. I told you that you were due for a confession.”

You didn’t care if he saw you roll your eyes as you kneeled back down. You made quick work running down the list of sins you committed since the last time you were in the booth. Murder? Check. Grinding against a married man? Check. Not dressing modestly? Check. Obsessed with material possessions? Always.

Still Heahmund held back on giving you your penance. “Anything else you might be missing?”

Your mind shifted to the image of Ivar looking up at you from his position between your thighs, his tongue flat against your clit while his hands pinned yours down on the bed. You felt yourself getting wet just from the memory alone. “No, nothing I can think of, Bishop.”

——

Tags: @youbloodymadgenius @spotgaai2000 @castielsangelsx @walkxthexmoon @multifandom0-0 @placetokeepstories

#viking fanfic #viking fanfic au #ivar the boneless #ivar the boneless au #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #alex høgh andersen #alex høgh andersen imagine

[occultruby]

i did this a while ago but heres my imscared white face gender transing theory diagram. putting explanation under the cut for... courtesy? the amount ive thought about this is kind of embarrassing

ok first off i think wf is genderless because its not human or even corporeal, its just a terrible little computer curse. if anything i honestly think its more aligned with the feminine. idk its weird to me that most people gender wf as a man when ivan zanotti (hello sir if youre reading this im sorry) at least from the perspective of an english speaker, has pretty much done everything to avoid gendering wf at all (only ever having used “it” pronouns for wf! hello!), besides the only other appearances of humanoid forms (also wf) being coded as women/images of womanhood/concept of womanhood/whatever

down to business. maybe it isnt as specific as this but a potential idea is the entity being made and intended to be female or at least read as female. since it clearly is sentient and keeping in line with the knowledge that wf is not human and isnt the ghost of the deceased, i dont think its hard to believe wf would not only not understand gender, but also feel constrained by it. if the question is “why would it give a shit” my answer is 1. throughout the game its pretty clear that wf doesnt like being constrained, literally or metaphorically and 2. the same reason any actual person would feel trapped and uncomfortable with their assigned gender or any gender. it comes with expectations for how you should act, look, talk, where you should go, and what you should do there.

the sketch labeled “original” isnt really literal, more of an idea of “someone made a computer virus and its a girl i guess”. HER i think is what white face perceives itself to be, and therefore becomes, as its world is essentially made of its own imagination

everything about HER screams “caricature of womanhood” just straight up This Is How Dysphoria Makes You Think You Look. her huge [REDACTED] and hips/thighs, cinched waist, exaggerated limp wrist, and absurdly long hair. her name is literally “HER”. HER is white faces experience of feeling “this is all i am”, an embodiment of unwanted expectations.

what in general we know to be “white face” is the same entity, named for its appearance as a floating head. i read this as wf hiding its body (something that could be done by editing its own code to make it invisible) but i visually represent it as a black cloak. i also thought a neat but kind of odd idea would be wrapping itself up in its own long dark hair?

on the events of the game. the important part lies in the transition from the first part into BURY HER, in which wf changes into HER, making its body visible and adopting somewhat different behaviors (which seem to communicate a more depressed demeanor and an instinct to self isolate/hide). wf if pretty clear with the player that it makes this change to keep the players interest. personally i have known other trans people who, despite knowing they were trans and going through some levels of social transition, will go back to performing their assigned gender in an attempt to please someone whose approval they desire. and like in real life, wfs practice isnt sustainable. wfs monologue before shooting HER has SO much to dig into. of course it established that it made this change for You. but then, the rain turns to blood as it bitterly remarks that it hates what it became (knowing that wf feels like the mask of HER takes the players interest away from itself, meaning that even if HER and wf are the same entity, wf does not identify as HER. in the end its just an act to impress you). the part that gets me the most about the grave level is that she specifically tells You to “bury [HER] in front of [HER] birthplace”. she was already dead and buried. wf dug her up for You. even though You are the one playing the game, wf is the one seen with the gun. in the end, it was about wf once again burying this past version of itself that it cannot stand any longer.

i dont think it hits as hard as the main events of BURY HER, but im going to come back around to the concept of all figures in the game being coded as women. in the labyrinth we see the various portions of womens bodies (which some people use to theorize that wf is a serial killer but this is nothing to me because. it wasnt a human person lol) that lead into/are portals to a “dark world” (the whole thing with having to reconstruct shards of a broken mirror also kind of screams dysphoria, the whole dress thing! idek how to put this into words im just feeling it), the portrait of a girl in the house (maybe an “original vision” for what wf was intended to be? wfs one source for what a “woman” is?). you could argue that the weird little things with the long arms when youre trying to break the gramophones arent female but 1. literally whatever and 2. theyre essentially extensions of HER made to be mini jumpscares and 3. i think they parallel the “you shouldnt be here” area where HER is seen hanging from the sky by weird distended limbs.

we know wf is entirely unreliable and likely s completely lying on occasion. but i think lies, especially in a game like this, can be dissected to discover something truthful in the narrative. something so specific is the story wf tells about having a brother that it had horrible thoughts about getting hurt in an appliance store, only to reveal that it never had a brother. this is in one of the more vulnerable text files in the game. im gonna go on a limb here and say the story isnt literal, but also does hold significance. no one is reading at this point and its 2:30 so im going to word this more abstractly because thinking is getting harder and i have a 9am class. brother/not real brother is about an imagined person, who wf wants to be or how it perceives itself to be. like it is metaphorically the brother that it doesnt have because it WANTS to be that. honestly if you wanted to you could argue this point works towards the idea that wf is a trans man because of the idea that it wants to be a man but doesnt perceive itself to be a real man so it tells the story of a brother it does/doesnt/is/isnt/wants to be. the whole thing about being injured in the appliance store probably means something about the fragility of the concept or identity or whateverless complicated idea came to me like two paragraphs ago. and its that imscared is about coping with the loss of a sibling by trying to recreate their identity as a program but that its inherently impossible (program saying “i never had a brother” because the brother MADE u to be his sibling but you ARENT because you are just a little game file) but like i got too invested in white face transgender ANYWAYS SO IMSCARED IS OFFICIALLY ABOUT GENDER DYSPHORIAAAAAAA

#imscared #imscared a pixelated nightmare #six will do #bury her #sketch

[srtotote-blog]

Assignment 1

Data Set: AddHealth In Home.

Topic of Interest: Im intrest in Taught in School associeted with: - Feelings Scale. - Fighting and Violence.

Code Book:

Questions:

- Is fellings asosiated with what do you want to learn (Taught of School)? - Could violence/ fighting change what do you want to learn at the school (Taught School)?

Literature Review:

Question 1. The module reviews research on each emotion, with an emphasis on causes, consequences, and individual differences. As a group, the knowledge emotions motivate people to engage with new and puzzling things rather than avoid them. Reference (https://nobaproject.com/modules/knowledge-emotions-feelings-that-foster-learning-exploring-and-reflecting). It´s a good explaining about how your felling work with or wthout you.

Question 2. My opinion after read this reference, if you understand what happen with each student and not just about emotions, because the enviroment change for everyone in the same way her/him opinions and how they see the world, life or just the moment. Reference: (https://www.saferresource.org.au/how_abusers_can_change)

Summary:

Respond affirmatively that there is a lot of relationship between these topics; what you want and the decisions you make are based on your experiences ( Fighting and Violence) and how you feel (Feelings Scale).

[redrabbitspod]

Seth, why are YOU interested in the case?

im not. this is my job. the monster provided a challenge and i was assigned to the project because im the only one that can do audio work and coding. otherwise, unless im being paid for it, im stayin out of the spooky shit.  not my business what nathan did or what happened to his wife and kid. whatever happened is unfortunate, glad hes locked up. other than that, not about any of it. if i can avoid being involved all together, i would. unfortunately, i need to eat. - seth

#rr answers #Anonymous #seth answers

[interrogatormentors]

Event Seven: Freezer Burn

Sleep came in fits and starts for the trainees, but they all snatched what little they could as their training continued. Despite this, they all spent the scant hour of free time the instructors allotted them in different ways. Zesaim studied, scouring books whose origins she refused to reveal for interrogation techniques. Rosmer baked in beakers, often coercing Sollux into using his psionics as a heat source. Ophlia worked out, Trisia ever by her side. Sollux himself dozed as he idly explored the limitations of his tablet, poking holes in the security to try and get his nose out for some news. Ualona often joined him, his maroon text a constant in the chat channels.

- actualizedClairvoyant [AC] has begun trolling twinArmageddons [TA]!-

AC: any progress on protecting a c-| |-annel? AC: avoiding mics is cool and all but w-| |-at if t-| |-ey are monitoring everyt-| |-ing we type? TA: no progre22 TA: they’re reportiing all thii2 2hiit two the empiire and the drone2ll be here iin liike two hour2 AC: D: TA: who do you fuckiing take me for ii’ve coded liike fiive proxiie2 iin the la2t ten miinute2 alone. AC: -| |-ell yeah! AC: so can you send me t-| |-at new installment of sunspots and starship -| |-eresy you found on the net t-| |-en because i kind of need somet-| |-ing to take my mind off tomorrow’s private training AC: i -| |-eard its gonna be some INTENSE friggin quizzes TA: god ii don’t want two enable you gettiing your globe2 off two helmiing porn you know that riight. AC: i mean AC: w-| |-en you put it t-| |-at way… TA: w/e iidgaf

-twinArmaggedons [TA] has sent file [kiinkyba2tard.xml]!-

TA: porn ii2n’t trea2on anyway we don’t need protected channel2 for that. TA: 2o who’2 goiing two be your traiiner tomorrow niight?? AC: that pozoia guy that oversees the p-| |-ysical training :[ AC: im freaking out!! -| |-es going to eat me alive! AC: w-| |-at about you? TA: rapard. AC: O-| |- S-| |-IT TA: w/e TA: he doe2n’t 2care me.

The next night when the morning alarms went off, however, Sollux hesitated as he squinted at his schedule for the day.

Sollux Captor: Report at Training Block A13 - Rapard - Dress Code: Swimwear

“Swimwear?” Zesaim’s puzzled voice came from her bunk just as Sollux read the words on his own schedule, and he looked over. “What happened to quizzes?”

“I don’t see how having a personal trainer’s going to help us swim better,” Sollux said, sitting up on the platform. “God, I don’t give a shit if I have to chase a wader through open sea, I’m drowning regardless.” He ducked, just in time to avoid a pillow getting thrown at him by Mercuo at terminal velocity. The seadweller glared at him from his bunk.

“You’ll need the fucking practice if you don’t want me to drown you,” Mercuo said, climbing down from his own bunk.

Sollux snorted, flicking Mercuo’s fin once with his psionics before stripping down. They filtered out to their assigned blocks after that, and it seemed the coolbloods didn’t receive any alteration to their dress codes for the day. Sollux found walking alone to a lesson disconcerting, and the halls seemed so much chillier and ominously dark without someone at his side. The faint fizzle of the lights above him served as the only background sound apart from the faint paps of his own bare feet on the metal tile.

He stopped in front of block A13 after a few minutes, looking up at the door. The metal seemed thick and reinforced, and a card reader sat adjacent to the heavy handle. A hand reached past Sollux, sliding a card into the reader and causing Sollux to jump. He hadn’t heard Rapard coming. “Quit flinching, helmbait,” Rapard said, hauling the door open. The door hissed, steam rushing out of the dark block in a billowing cloud. Sollux took a step, paused, and then moved forward only after Rapard shot him an unimpressed look.

The cold had given Sollux pause, an almost physical wall of frigid air that only intensified as the door behind him closed with a heavy thud. For a brief moment only the natural illumination from Sollux’s own eyes cast any sort of light, before a single, dim bulb on the ceiling flicked on. It didn’t really help. A metal chair stood fixed in the middle of the room, and Sollux felt a prickle of fear skitter up his spine as he spotted manacles on the armrests and near the legs. “What kind of quiz--”

“Emotional endurance is the topic today,” Rapard said. He gestured towards the chair, one eyebrow arching up. “I don’t have all night, recruit.”

Sollux gritted his teeth, glancing from the chair to the door and back again. Rapard stood between him and the door, and somehow he doubted he could overpower a fully matured seadweller in such a cold environment. Sollux’s own limbs felt stiff, and his teeth already chattered. He had his pride, but he also had an ounce of self-preservation in his bones. He sat down in the chair, jerking away too slow to avoid the manacles snapping shut around his wrists and ankles.

“I get the physical training, I get the mediculler shit, but what the fuck is up? Sir,” he added at the expression on Rapard’s face.

“How slow do I have to speak to drill something through your pan, recruit?” Rapard said, starting to pace, a shark circling through icy waters. “Welcome to emotional conditioning. The goal today is to learn control. The moment you emote, your quarry loses faith in your resolve to hurt them.” Rapard stopped off to Sollux’s left, shifting his weight from left to right before settling back on his heels. His expression remained as blank as ever. “This also serves as a practical demonstration of your schoolfeeding. Recap what you learned about temperature moderation and interrogation, grublet.”

Sollux took a breath, trying to settle the sparks already settling around his hornbeds that had triggered out of anxiety. “Temperature. Short-term temperature shifts out of habitable zones can lower reaction time and inhibitions. Long-term it can influence the immune system and wear a troll down.”

Rapard snorted, reaching into the breast pocket of his uniform and pulling out a small remote. He pressed a button, and fans lining the walls kicked on with a furious intensity. Sollux yelped, turning his face away from the sudden blast of cold air smacking against his face. “Temperature drop, two degrees,” Rapard said. “Watch those sparks-- I can read you like a fucking book. Get it together.” He started pacing again, and Sollux tried to resist the urge to follow his movements with his head. “What temperatures can the average lowblood withstand?”

“Average?” Sollux worried his lower lip with his teeth, scrambling to answer ahead of Rapard’s impatience. “Hypothermia takes place at an internal temperature of 97 degrees, and we can survive with an external temperature of 140 with enough water.”

The fans whirred again, and Sollux gritted his teeth. “Watch those ears,” Rapard said. “In the interrogatormentors, your emotions are a weakness. If you can’t turn them off like the husktop you are, then what use are you? You can’t be caught at the mercy of your own instincts.” He shook his head, still pacing in a wide circle around Sollux. “What will affect a lowblood’s internal temperature more, cold air or water?”

Sollux faltered, looking up to the fans. Well, that seemed like the proper answer right there. He couldn’t think straight, really, his thoughts coming to him in sluggish waves as he shivered in his bonds. A red light blinked in the corner of the room, a camera watching this entire affair. What did they even need this footage for? “Cold air,” he said finally.

Rapard hummed. “Interesting answer,” he said. “This isn’t about the immediate effect, this is a matter of thermodynamics.” An odd click came from above Sollux, and he looked up just in time for a set of freshly revealed nozzles protruding from the ceiling to unleash a deluge of icy water. Sollux sputtered, gasping and choking against the spray. The water left him a shuddering mess, each breath an agony stabbing into his lungs.

“I gffkfk- got it,” he said, coughing hard. “Cold. Cold’ssss good.” His lisp had worsened due to the chattering of his teeth, and he found himself biting his tongue more than once. “Fuck. Fuck.”

The fans came to life again, and Sollux screwed his eyes shut. “You’re cursing out of an emotional response,” Rapard said. Sollux felt cold hands grasp his jaw, and he peeled his eyes open to meet the seadweller’s own. “Turn off your emotions, brat.”

Sollux took a breath as Rapard released him, schooling his response back. He tried focusing inwards, fixating on the thought of warmth, of his bunk and fresh food and summer nights. Turn it off, turn it off, turn the emotions off, think of something else. His expressioned slackened, smoothing out into an expressionless mask despite the way his muscles spasmed due to the cold.

The quizzing continued from there, and Sollux did his best to answer each question thrown at him. The temperature kept dropping despite his efforts, until he felt icicles gathering in his nose and his eyes felt swollen from how much tears streamed down his cheeks from the cold. The lesson continued even after Sollux started hacking blood onto his legs and the floor, his entire body quaking. He couldn’t hear his own voice. He didn’t even know what he said in response to Rapard’s questions, and he knew at least half of his answers were unintelligible. He couldnt even begin to imagine what warmth felt like anymore.

Eventually Rapard looked at his watch and hit another button, and the manacles around Sollux’s limbs popped open. Sollux couldn’t have moved if he tried, and it took careful prying and warm water to loosen him from his quite literal frozen position in the chair. Sollux struggled to remain conscious as Rapard swung him over his shoulder, gasping as they emerged into the relative heat of the outside corridors.

Rapard deposited Sollux into a communal block, into a flock of suffering recruits. To the left side of the room, where Sollux tumbled onto the ground, lowbloods clustered around each other in bundles of blankets, heated mats underneath them. To the right, highbloods all seemed intent on drowning themselves in ice baths. Sollux couldn’t bring himself to move, and remained face down until he felt a blanket settling around his shoulders.

“Hey, Sparkles,” said a weak voice above him. Sollux looked up to see Trisia, her face flushed a brilliant teal and her dreadlocks hanging limply around her cheeks. “You look like shit.”

Sollux let out a ragged laugh, fingers curling around the edges of the blanket. “You do too. Did they stick you guys into an oven?”

He heard shuffling behind him then, and a sniffle. “I want to die,” Ualona said, voice very small. “They didn’t warn us it’d be like this. We’re the interrogatormentors, not- Why are they torturing us?”

The door opened again, revealing a petite purple with a massive collar of spikes framing the back of her head like a matured daywalker. She pushed a stumbling Ophlia into the room, tittering and wiping a little smear of purple from the corner of her own mouth before shutting the door. Sollux caught a glimpse of the back of her neck then, which revealed that the spikes were indeed protruding from her skin in a uniform circles of daywalker bruises along her spine. When Ophlia lifted her head, Sollux saw her ear was bleeding. Sollux swore, shivering. “This place is fucked.”

Trisia got up again, and Sollux heard her murmuring to Ophlia before supporting her up to an ice bath. Ualona scooted closer, and Sollux saw an ominous darkness to his nose and the edges of his fingers. “What did Rapard promise you?” he said.

Sollux tried to think of what Ualona meant, but nothing came to him. He only shrugged, his cheek pressed up against the floor. “Nothing. But I'm not waiting to find out what you're talking about,” he said. “Let the others know.” He closed his eyes. “We’re getting out of here.”

#homestuck #homestuck au #sollux captor #interrogatormentors #illustrated fic #fic #come get yalls juice #got a cool refreshing treat for u #thanks everyone for ur patience!! #interrogatormentors event

[tumblunni]

I had a really weird dream involving Dr Maddiman. Its a shame i can barely remember any of it and also it seems i woke up before it ended? Like i just had this overwhelming sense that allll the plot threads were gonna be wrapped up any second now and then BOOM awake. So just a whole bunch of random stuff happened with no real explanation at all.

It was some sort of post apocolyptic setting i think? Humanity was in these small isolated cities fighting against some sort of invading army but we never actually saw the aliens themselves. And some part of my brain was like "it makes sense its the same rules as a hairdresser and the design takes cues from a pack of AAA batteries". I have NO idea what that means! So basically everythibg was super vague and undescribed and dream-me just had a sense of already being a long time fan of this series and knowing enough to fill in the gaps. Apparantoy this was some sort of adaptation of a thing id already seen, but id been told the ending was different and more accurate to the manga? Also i wasnt actually a person watching this show i was still the protagonist of the show yet i acted like i'd been reincarnated and relived this week a million times or something

ANYWAY the way dr maddiman comes in is that he was some sort of 'brilliant but dangerous' expert the government had hired to help our fight against the aliens. It wasnt really explained why he was.. yknow.. maddiman. Like is this meant to be that ghosts also exist in this sci fi universe? Was he a half alien hybrid instead of a yokai? Was it just human maddiman with the personality of yokai maddiman due to ptsd...? In any case he didnt seem entirely tethered to the laws of reality and nobody knew exactly how he pulled off all his scientific miracles. He was treated as the only guy who could understand the mindset of the aliens, but that also made him dangerous because he trapped in the delusion of everything being okay and fun and happy and he often did evil things by accident while having good intentions. But they didnt have anyone else who'd cracked the code of the alien weaponry so they had to put up with him. He was just sorta assigned a crack team of secret agents whose job was Be The Old Man's Friend So We Dont All Die. Dont let him realise how the world is all destroyed and such, just play along with his goofyness and try and remind him to do his important work while dancing around why its important. it was super creepy how he was locked up and gaslighted like this!! And he was all 'oh im sure when im done with my ultimate experiment i can go home to my wife and kids' and yeah it was implied here that the same backstory applied :( 'distract the old man and validate his false opinion that his family is still alive and waiting for him' :( poor sci fi madds :(

Oh also for some reason he seemed to be wearing elements of Adventure era Dr Eggman's outfit? But just the general style of the coat and the wearing goggles that he never actually uses. And he had a very warm and cuddly autumnal colourscheme

Anyway i was part of the Super Secret Grampa Cherishing Division whose job was to act as his assistant but also secretly be packing a bazillion weapons to neutralize him if he poses a danger to humanity. But i started to genuinely care for the guy and question the 'any atrocity is permitted for the sake of saving the world' philosophy of my bosses. Also it was just very weird how it was this post apocolypse alien fighting action thing yet i didnt see ANY OF IT cos this story was confined to this one laboratory. It was surreal hearing about all this stuff happening offscreen!

I think Maddiman's main project was some sort of dimensional transport thing using salvaged alien tech? It was just a door in his lab that usually led to a closet but if he got it working itd teleport us straight to the alien base and save the world. And a lot of it wasnt explained but i got this great sense that itd all come together with a great twist ending evebtually but then i woke up before i got that far. Same for the reveal of this maddiman's new sci fi backstory and soooo many other dropped plot threads. Alas!

So anyway: closet. Closet with one of those bead curtain things cos i was thinking about them when i fell asleep. It was supposed to be a teleport but when it malfunctioned it had really scary negative effects warping people's biology and stuff. I remember one of the test subjects was sent in for a five day trip to a specific alternate dimension but then when they came back itd been several years and theyd had to survive in a deadly wasteland and been mutated into a hellbeast. And maddiman had a huge breakdown because he felt like his recklessness and optimism towards this experiment had caused this mistake to happen, and he'd never realized just how awful the consequences could be. He was babbling motor mouth discussing theories for where it went wrong and there was something like 'we'd only tested it for one day trips and assumed that just programming two of them would equal two days but actually with each additional number on the screen it multiplies the days by 3" And there was something about like...the bead curtain was the machine rather than the door itself? Like trying it on a bunch of different doors around the lab to try and find a way to cure this person.

And there was some sort of artificial intelligence computer with the personality of an adorable lil girl, who helped maddiman do calculations and stuff. She missed the mistake in this calculation cos her concept of linear time and the limits of human organs was kinda undeveloped. She only existed within the realm of numbers after all, and didbt even have functionality to record footage of her human friends's faces. No idea wtf a human looks like! So maddiman was lost in his desperate grief of potentially accidebtally killing or at least mentally scarring a person and the government would probably kill them now if they saw they were a super mutant. And he was sobbing and begging this AI to help, his last resort was her maybe being able to see a brainwave that he'd missed. But she was freaking out cos she didnt even fully understand why maddiman was crying let alone what to do to fix it. Eventually she did manage to find a solution theough some simple different logic thing that she had from her perspective as a computer. And that person was saved but still traumatized and maddiman had a moment of realizing just how high stakes everything was and freaking out. He was like 'whats wrong with my head, why didnt i notice that, why was i so reckless, why cant i seem to grasp basic human logic that i need right now" Having a big existential crisis of 'wait how did i even get in this lab, where's my family and why do i seem to have superpowers'. Protagonist mission: hide all the goddamn mirrors to avoid this weird ghostgramp (...aliengramp??) from realizing he's dead (..or an alien??) and losing control of himself. And everyone was running around talking about 'containment procedures' and poor maddiman didnt know that if his panic attack continued he might just straight up be killed for outliving his usefulness. So the protagonist was desperate to help him calm down and it sucked SO MUCH cos they had to lie about his past and weave the web of deception around him again for his own safety. In the end they just hugged him close until he calmed down, and all the other employees were like GASP THEY ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE EVIL DANGEROUS SUPER EVIL MAN and protag was like 'i am 1% away from slapping the next bitch who insults this grandpa'. And it was super depressing cos once he'd calmed down he seemed to start forgetting that anything bad had ever happened?? And he was really panicking and scared cos he didnt understand why he was forgetting, and he knew he had to cling onto something important but he didnt know what. And then five minutes later he was back to haha cheerful nothing is wrong and i love doing my fun science in this room im never allowed to leave. And protagonist was crying the tears that this poor gramp wasnt allowed to cry :(

Also actually i think maybe he was a ghost AND an alien? Like he was a scientist who died in some sort of tragedy back when the aliens first invaded, but along the way he'd been infected so his body got back up as a twisted combination of human and inhuman. And this was something unique to him, like he just happened to have a genetic mutation in his blood that was totally undetectable in life but happened to mix unpredictably with this alien virus to turn him into a hybrid instead of just killing him. So the government was very interested in finding a way to replicate this and create new supersoldiers, as well as just taking advantage of this dude's confused mental state that granted him a unique understanding of alien tech that made him more effective than other scientists. And, of course, also made him easy to manipulate :(

And i also had a feeling that maybe his backstory was mixed up with Adventure dr eggman? Like here it seemed he had a daughter instead of a son, and she had a similar death to Maria Robotnik where she was assasinated by the government he worked for, and it tipped him over the edge. I think Maddiman-alien-scifi-dude originally died trying to save her from being used in some sort of experiment? Like she was already dying of a disease and thats why maddiman took this job to have access to powerful government technology to try and look for a cure. But when the whole alien apocolypse happened, the evil government decided to use her for experiments cos she was 'basically dead anyway'. Theyd just lie and tell maddiman she died of her illness. So this was how they found out that this particular family's bloodline had a mutation that let them form a viable hybrid with alien dna. They were turning this poor kid into a monster in the basement while lying to her dad about her being dead! And maddiman was about to commit suicide from having no reason to live anymore, with the hell of this apocolypse world and the false impression that his kid was already dead. But somehow monster-daughter sensed this or something and broke out of containment to try and save him, and when he saw her he was able to recognise her even in her twisted state. So when the soldiers gunned her down in front of him and fed him some lies about this not being his daughter, he just completely snapped. He tried in vain to fight back and take down as many of them as possible in revenge, but well he was just a simple round dad with no ability to fight a government. So he was unceremoniously executed along with his kid and they shoved the bodies back in the lab to continue testing. "Damn that overemotional science dad, he made us execute our most valable test subject! But at least this way we can analyze his corpse to see if the mutation is passed down on the patrilineal side." But at some point during the fight, monster-daughter's blood had splashed on her dad and gotten into his bloodstream. So the seemingly dead body suddenly got up out of the morgue and started sucking people's blood or something. And this led to the current situation where they have him locked up cos he's a valuable test subject but also hey he has 100% reason to kill all of us and we're screwed if he remembers his past. Also i think the computer AI thing was his subconcious attempt to recreate the personality of his daughter even if he couldnt remember she'd ever existed :(

Anyway at some point things escalated and there was this final showdown versus both the invading aliens and the evil governmebt guys. I think there was some corrupt greedy politician dude who stole maddiman's teleporter tech and sold us out to the aliens cos he wanted money and power or something. And probably predictably the aliens just threw him off a bridge after he gave them the thing, because seriously even this evil army thinks these government dudes are too evil!

So this big actiony event was happening and Maddiman was freaking out like 'no no no i cant leave the lab everyone wpuld be mad at me, i dont even know what its like outside this room' even when he was in the middle of being attacked by aliens. He was forced to face his repressed memories to survive, and he naturally had a massive fuckin freakout! And i think maybe when protagonist character was trying to protect him he accidentally lashed out with his powers and hurt them, and he was so horrified thinking another person he cared about was gonna die because of him. Protagonist was like 'dont worry gramps its just a scratch' but he'd already freaked out and run away into the battlefield to his heavily implied death.

BUT THEN at some sort of moment of dire need, he came back all powered up and re-memoried and was like 'i have every reason to despise humanity but im not gonna let more children die because of these damn corporate monsters (and also literal monsters which are infinately less scary)" And he did some sort of great sacrifice to save the protagonist at the cost of his own life, and it was super dramatic falling from a building into a lake of fire or something. While sobbing and smiling peacefully thinkibg "did i atone for my sins? Will i be able to see my family again?" As his smiling face sunk beneath the flames and the protagonist cried out into the abyss...

Aaaaand then i dont really know what happened in the big battle and i also never found out wtf the solution was to fixing the transporter thing or how the aliens invaded or any of the million plot points that were non gramp related.

I just remember that when we all saved the day and defeated the baddies we found that maddiman had actually survived and it was a big hugs reunion. He was like "OH YEAH i totally forgot i literally already died once and regenerated from it, and this was the entire start to my story. My bad!" *shrugs inexplicably not dead arms*

So yeah in summary im glad my brain summoned up a universe where my favourite sad granddad is literally immortal now, but also why did it torment him with an even sadder plot than his original one

#weird dream tag #the sequence with trying the teleporter curtain on different doors actually took up the majority of the dream #it was ridiculously long and i wish i could slap my brain and be like 'geez save some time for explaining gramp backstory more!'

[not-close-to-straight]

Ice Cream (SWS #30

SUNDAYS WITH SPIDEYPOOL MASTERLIST

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“Daddy, where did you go last night?” Ellie narrowed her eyes at Wade suspiciously and the Alpha froze with a big bite of cereal halfway to his mouth. 

“Uh, what?” 

“I think our daughter is asking where you scrambled off to in the middle of the night, probably because she woke up when you came flying out of the bedroom and knocked me on my ass.” Peter said calmly.

Wade grinned up at his Omega. “I apologized thoroughly for that, if I remember correctly.” 

“Not thoroughly enough.” Peter dropped a kiss on his husbands forehead. “So maybe you should work on that.” 

“I will.” Wade wiggled his eyebrows lasciviously. “Tonight.” 

“You’re avoiding the question, Daddy.” Ellie was starting to sound cross. “Where did you go?” 

“Um, Daddy had to--” Wade shoved another bite into his mouth to give him a minute to think.��“Daddy had to--” 

“Did you have to save the city??” A barrel of energy dressed only in underwear and a blankie that doubled as a cape came scrambling into the kitchen, climbing Peters leg and wrapping himself securely around his waist. “I bet you did. My daddies are both superheroes!”

“Good morning, lovebug.” Peter kissed Jonah’s forehead. “I thought I told you to get dressed.” 

“I’m wearing underwear.” Jonah said, wrinkling his nose. “That’s dressed.” 

“The man has a point.” Wade shrugged. 

“Stop.” Peter sent a warning glare at his Alpha, then a less severe but still grumpy look at his youngest son. “Underwear is only the basic of being dressed. You need more clothes so we can go see Great Auntie May. Go on.” 

“Fine.” Jonah grumbled and shook his fist dramatically at the sky, looking so much like his namesake-- the indomitable J Jonah Jameson that Peter almost laughed. “Ill get clothes, but Im not happy.” 

“Alright, baby.” Peter set him down and patted his butt to send him on his way. 

“Daddy!” Ellie cried. “Avoiding the question!” 

“Last night, I had to run out and Papa some ice cream.” Wade said quickly. “He was embarrassed because he thinks hes getting fat and --” 

He ducked, shrieking, as both Ellie and Peter threw spoons at him, shouts of “my papa is not fat!” and “Wade you brat don’t you tell the kids I’m getting fat!” filling the air. 

“Wha-wha-what’s going on?” Two pairs of brown eyes, the question stammered shyly by Tessa, and nearly inaudibly echoed by her twin, Janelle. 

“Hi babies.” Peter crouched down and opened his arms, and the youngest-- and quietest-- members of their crazy family toddled into the kitchen, still in feetie pajamas, Janelle sucking at her thumb and blinking up through a riot of dark curls, and Tessa primly side stepping a spoon that had been thrown at their Daddy. 

“Nothings happening. Daddy was just calling Papa fat.” 

“Not fat.” Janelle pulled her thumb from her mouth to say and Peter grinned, smooshing a kiss onto each of their cheeks. 

“Thank you, Jannie. You want some cereal?” 

“Yep.” Tessa answered for both of them, and the twins headed for their booster seats. 

“Papa isnt fat.” Ellie narrowed her eyes at Wade. “So why did you leave?” 

At thirteen, she was the oldest, Wade’s daughter from a relationship before he had met and bonded with Peter, and was whipcord smart, mature beyond her years, and had stopped taking any of Wade’s crap by the time she was six. 

Nine year old Ben, who had been quiet during the entire discussion, blinked between his parents, chewing at his lip in thought. “Daddy. You weren’t wearing regular clothes when you went out last night. I saw you in something red and black.” 

“Well, um--” Wade sent a panicked look at Peter. They had decided to keep their hero-coded alter egos secret from the children, and it had only gotten harder once Tessa and Janelle had come along. Peter was home almost full time now, only taking a few assignments here and there for the Bugle, content to be home with his children and patching Wade up after missions, but hiding what Wade did was getting more and more difficult. Jonah didn’t really know what they did of course, his daddies were just heroes to his six year old eyes, but with Ben having a near genius level IQ and Ellie already a teenager, they wouldn’t be able to hide for very much longer. 

“Um, my red and black is um--” 

“Sometimes, Papa likes Daddy to wear certain colors.” Peter said with a shrug, putting some cereal down in front of the twins. “Ellie, you are old enough to know better than to ask about what we do when the bedroom door is lock--” 

“ALALALALALALALALALA” Ellie shrieked and covered her ears. “I don’t want to hear about what you guys do or why Daddy wears red and black! EW!” 

Ben made a face as well and went back to his food, and the twins munched away, happily oblivious of the conversation, and Jonah came skidding back into the room, mismatched socks worn proudly beneath bright orange shorts and a ratty tank top. 

“Nope.” Peter shook his head. “Nope. Jonah. Going out clothes, not staying in clothes. You’re six years old, you know better.” 

“Fine.” Jonah sulked out of the room again, and once all the children were occupied, Wade sent Peter a grateful look for his quick thinking. 

“Dont worry about it.” Peter bent to kiss Wade again. “You can add that to your list of reasons you need to be extra nice to me tonight.” 

“Extra nice.” Wade promised, puckering his lips for another kiss, humming contentedly when Peter ran his fingers lightly over his scalp. “Extra extra nice if you wear your suit for me.” 

“Wade.” Peter huffed. “You tore a hole in it last time and it was incredibly awkward asking Tony to fix it again.” 

“Please. Ol Iron Sides knows you’ve been married to me for eight years, he is well aware of why there is a hole torn there in your suit.” 

“How come you guys have only been married for eight years when Ben is nine?” Ellie asked innocently-- or not so innocently rather, a look that mirrored the most wicked of Wade’s expressions on her face. 

“Ellie.” Peter sighed and Ellie put up her hands in surrender. “Alright. Lets finish up and get going to Aunt Mays and--and-- Wade. What are you doing?” 

The Alpha didn’t answer, only buried his nose further into Peters stomach and hummed sweetly. 

“Wade!” Peter pushed at him in exasperation, lowering his voice. “We need to get going, we dont have time for this.” 

“Pete.” Wade squinted up at him. “Baby boy, do you want some ice cream?” 

“No, Wade I dont want--” Peter paused, put his hand on his stomach. “I...kind of want ice cream. Thats weird. Isnt that weird?” 

“Do you want ice cream, Petey?” Wade was grinning now, an approving rumble in his chest. “Maybe double fudge tracks with peanut butter cups?” 

“So badly.” Peter whispered, and his face went white. “Oh god.” 

“I want twins again.” Wade whispered back, and lifted Peter’s shirt to kiss the still flat tummy, the still defined muscles. “Want you all big and full of my babies, huh?” 

“Oh my god.” Peter started shaking his head. “Wade, I am not carrying twins again. I was huge last time.” 

“And so beautiful.” Wade looked close to tears and Peter gathered him close, knowing that every time they were pregnant, Wade thought about all those years that he had thought he couldn’t have kids, and now they had Ellie and four more between them and now more--

“Lets be late to Aunt Mays?” Wade asked hopefully and Peter nodded, started dragging his Alpha back to the bedroom. 

************************

************************

“Daddy?” Ellie looked up with a frown when Wade left the bedroom at eleven o clock at night a few weeks later. “Where are you going?” 

“You’re supposed to be in bed, Ellie bean.” Wade frowned and pulled on his boots. “What are you doing awake?” 

“Were are you going?” she asked again, looking stubborn and adorable and so entirely him that Wade’s heart squeezed all over again. 

“Your papa wants ice cream.” he said with a short laugh. 

“I didn’t believe that excuse last time.” Ellie rolled her eyes. “Why would I believe it this time? Honestly Daddy, I’m so much smarter than you give me credit for.” 

“Wade!” Peter called from the bedroom. “Garlic bread too! Like three loaves! And Cinnamon Toast Crunch!” 

“Oh!” Ellie’s mouth dropped. “You really are going out for ice cream!” 

“Yep.” Wade sighed. “Really going out for ice cream.” 

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#ncts fics #sundays with spideypool #spideypool #abo dynamics #alpha wade #omega peter #kid fic