#because some people can't read i guess

[areyoudoingthis]

I'm almost done with my transition paperwork. it's been nearly a year since i started. we live in an evil bureaucratic hellscape

#I've had to do some stuff thrice because apparently people either can't program or use computers properly #the actual birth certificate and id took a couple of months #everything else took forever #the bank fucked up my name on my debit card twice #they made up a whole new middle name and put it on everything #i had to complain like 5 times about that one cause it kept showing up anywhere #my uni made me wait three months to figure out how to comply with the nonbinary ids on their degrees and then harassed me for two weeks #about a picture #my name's still showing up wrong in parts of the system they use at work #because some people can't read i guess #i gotta send an email about that actually #i even had to update my name at the supermarket which i hadn't even added to the list when i started #i was just grocery shopping one day and realized the cashier was calling me by the wrong name #i think all that's left now are the utilities #and waiting for everything else to be done #like my degree needs to be signed by the usual 6838282 people now #but i can see the finish line #it was all worth it btw i love seeing my name on everything #i even had to turn in my old degree at my uni it felt like a sendoff #I'll see if i can save up and invite my friends over to celebrate #alex txt

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism. #and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you. #this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off. #your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening . #anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :) #(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what. #cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men. #so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT. #instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them. #which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

[tapakah0]

#....I hope you're proud of yourself #because I can't concentrate on anything for the 3rd day in a row #Can't read anything #And can't even answer people properly #I guess I'm wasted for some more time

[fromtheseventhhell]

"It's normal for siblings to fight" Okay well it's not normal to be extremely classist and look down on your sister for being non-conforming. Or to go to the woman who ordered the death of your pet to tell her about your father's plans, when he specifically warned you against doing so, because you want to marry the boy you saw attack your sister and her friend (contributing partially to said father's death and your sister being unable to escape on the ship he chartered). Or to think of your sibling as unsatisfactory in comparison to another when you believe her to be dead. I notice that none of the "Sansa and Arya are going to reunite and instantly have no issues" crowd ever acknowledge any of this, which makes it seem like they don't actually believe what they say about their relationship being normal and easily reconciled. People wanting them to have no issues simply because they're siblings is another example of how fandom likes to flatten complex characters and relationships. They get reduced to being bickering siblings when their conflict runs deeper than that. If the author is telling you that they have "deep issues" to work out [X], I don't understand being so adamant about ignoring said issues. I also get the sense it's about ignoring the capacity for a certain character to be flawed, but that isn't going to change the fact that her "slip of the tongue" is very likely to be revealed and a source of further conflict 🤷🏾‍♀️

#arya stark #sansa stark #house stark #asoiaf #also if it's so normal for siblings to fight then why are you guys losing your minds over us theorizing they won't get along?? #the amount of condescending /that's just how siblings act/ takes I see 🙄 #sorry I guess? that we read the book and don't just delete parts of the story because we find it convenient? #it's not even like takes about them being enemies is widespread the most I see is that they aren't instantly bffs when they reunite 😭 #some people theorize they'll never be close but guess what? that's a completely fair and valid assumption based on their relationship! #personally I think they'll have a sweet reunion before the issues they have inevitably surface again because while they've been through #a lot they haven't fundamentally changed as people or the values they hold #and I think that's going to be very interesting to read about! #I can't figure out why people always take the most boring bland route for how things will play out #mostly because people seem to be unable to swallow the concept that Sansa is a flawed character who isn't perfectly sweet all the time #and the fact that their conflict is instigated by Sansa's classism #which is funny cause in the grand scheme of things her being mean to Arya is such a mild thing that opens the door to a ton of growth #never seen anybody but stansas equating her being a bully to her sister to her being evil/a villain #all we do is point out that it exists in the story...people in this fandom have no concept of nuance I stg 😭 #anyways they're both complex characters and their conflict is interesting and I hope we get to see how it plays out #cause it's definitely going to be better then that trash d&d came up with 🙏🏾

[sisterdivinium]

You know, for a show with so many female characters that so many of us love given how they all get time in the spotlight one way or another and they fill that time up rather wonderfully since they are deeper and more developed than what we're used to seeing in general media, it is peculiar (to say the least) to see so few "alternative" ships to the main one.

I'm not saying the canon ship doesn't deserve its attention -- I'm wondering instead why the canon ship and it alone seem to guide the WN fans who just so happen to enjoy writing/reading fic or fanart or whatever.

You'd think all these cool women would inspire more ships or combinations thereof, but those of us who aren't invested in avatrice just... Float along, around one another, ignored (and, yes, mostly undisturbed too; being unpopular does have its advantages and that includes a lot less weirdos leaving you strange or awkward messages -- it does not, however, shield us from people flooding our goddamn tags on AO3 with fic that has nothing to do with our little ships and I do wish such negligence of the pairing itself meant we didn't have to deal with this spam...)

I am also not saying that fandom activity should be based solely on shipping (and recently someone on Reddit was rather confused by the fact that a lot of it is, which is quite an interesting topic to discuss in itself -- after all, there is more to fan creativity than shippy fic... Or there used to be), merely that, here, it appears that a canon relationship can outshine interest in the other, non-canon ones. It's already there and it was doubtless well-done by the show, so it's natural that it should claim people's attention, sure. It's just that being canon was never the parameter for whether people were interested in these or those two (or more) characters maybe being involved and trying to explore what that could mean through fanwork.

There has always been a complaint haunting fandom spaces concerning the minuscule amounts of f/f fic, art, discussion, w/e based on how few (interesting or sympathetic or relatable) female characters there are in media at large. So what I'm curious about is why fan creations made around WN -- a show that finally gives us a whole cast of female characters that are what we have been craving for decades -- don't also reflect its diversity.

There are alternative ships (I'm here, all happy in my tiny Doctor Superion bubble, and I know there are Camila/Lilith, Ava/Lilith, Mary/Shannon, Mary/Lilith shippers out there, so a warm hello to you if you're reading this), but go on AO3 and compare the numbers of things tagged with these proper pairings to the grand total of WN stories. Better (or worse) still, do so with the "otp: true" trick or simply by excluding avatrice from the search to see how many are left.

It's... A considerable difference. And a mystery, at least to me.

#tagging this as #warrior nun #simply because i'd like to talk about this and maybe some of you have thoughts or theories about it #i just ask you engage in good faith if you do. i'm not pointing fingers at avatrice people i think they're fine and dandy #i'm just -- to reiterate -- surprised at how little interest there is in other ships when the potential is all there #(is it because they're nuns? that never stopped avatrice so why should it stop others...) #(besides lilith is hardly still a nun after s2. bea left. mary didn't really take vows did she? you really thought i was a nun she says...) #meta fandom talk i guess #then again about the nun thing... i have noticed a lot of people just go for aus. i can't recall ever being in a fandom with SO many aus #is the religious aspect an issue by any chance? i also recall someone commenting on how little a part religion played in these aus #curious. very curious. #i imagine some of you are wondering why i care when i don't even read fic but -- #-- to quote jillian salvius herself i am a curious person and well you are a curiosity lol

[dani-the-goblin]

.

#i already posted this in my personal group chat but the only person who's responded so far is my sibling #and I'd really like to hear from someone outside of “people who benefit from telling me nice things” #because yeah its probably still true but my brain won't listen #anyway #I'm probably (definitely) spending too much time on the Internet and suffering from some crazy depression #but regardless #I'm feeling like shit about my writing and it's created a negative motivation loop #I keep seeing people churn out work that's 5 to 10x longer than what I post #Some people I'm seeing do that daily #and I can barely post one or two things a month. #It's been making me feel like shit that I just can't seem to do that. #I know part of it just isn't my style #and I usually love that my work is easier to read #but i thought that would get me more engagement and i guess I was wrong #plus when all you see is negative feedback on *literally that style* and getting no positive feedback at all #it's a real fucking killer.

[zabiume]

i kind of love that kubo drops some bullshit lore and all the tumblrinas put their heads together to try and figure out how that would WORK in practice

#it's my favorite thing about being a bleach fan #there's just SO MUCH STORY that a lot of it has very obviously gotten out of his hands #but that just means it falls into MY hands so i can't complain😅 #i guess in that sense it's reasonable that he began klub outside instead of doing TOO MUCH info-dumping exposition #(<- which we ALREADY have because. shonen lol) #but i also wish he'd leave things up to interpretation sometimes because a) some of the stuff he says on there is insane #and b) him explaining things is a relatively recent phenomenon since he's always hinting that he wants people to read between the lines #i guess the cash opportunity is too much to resist and now that he's not burnt out anymore maybe he LIKES discussing his work #like most writers #txt

[arklay]

DIANA x ALBERT WESKER / template.

#mine. #pair: ewskers #oc: diana #click for better quality ♡ #posting this before i start changing more things lmao but yes i went nuts and made my own psd from scratch... don't look at me #changed ages to birth years cause of how much time passes in the story!! and also gives cheeky fc for you hehe runs away #the checkboxes make me scream like he almost had a clean sweep it's so funny. and he could've had one more i'm not even joking. cause their #first kiss was technically both of them... like idk how to explain this but they were already standing close then diana moved even closer #and was tracing his jaw and such and they were just lingering while holding eye contact but he was the one who actually closed the distance #so i mean... yeah. she was just about to and he beat her to it!! but diana made the move to get them into that position in the first place #is what i mean. i just couldn't give him more it was already too hilarious lmao #can't tell if i like the lil icons but i can't doodle so peace and love on planet earth but yes i'm happy with how this came out hehe #clueless levels are cause they are clowns <3 i have a lot of thoughts about all that but yes they both take hints in some aspects but i #think they both have trouble telling if they are genuine or not or if they are misreading the situation or whether something is romantic or #not (unless ofc it's over the top and ridiculous. ahem. excella. cough. explodes her with my mind) but yeah hit him with the tism so he's #learnt how to read people very well as he's gotten older but i think when it comes to actual just genuine like wanting to get to know #someone and not just someone wanting to get in his pants he seconds guesses it a lot. and diana's all stems from being rattled by her past #experiences oughguhh and i mean her not actually having experienced proper feelings for someone until him lmao but she's got trust issues #also there were so many tropes i could use (thank you to bestie elliot for helping me finds names of things) but i had to do i got you a #drawer specifically because that moment has such a special place in my heart!! like i need to finish the wip where i talk about that cause #it makes me so silly i'm not even joking #anyway omg i hope the mentions work because doing this on the legacy editor after copying the html for beta one because the image just #didn't want to work in the beta image for some reason rip

[apple-os]

ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed #hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty #and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait #and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY #ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU. #IM REALLY FUCKING MAD #I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE. #the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same #so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP #like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself #did u see me insulting u to ur face #nope i have not done even once #and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes #like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that #i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same #if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong. #but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me #and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid #some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes #and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once. #okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one #pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off #and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay #this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that #if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT. #if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul #have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!! #i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!! #i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related. #you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself

[beaversatemygrandma]

My bf just convinced me to drive up the street after walking the dog to pick up this huge ass tv off the side of the road.

Turns out it's damn near new, was maybe on the curb for a couple hours, and last updated 3 days ago. It even Has A Remote that was just sitting beside it. frickin 65 inch 4k roku tv

I mean yeah, he was hanging out the trunk of my car while holding the tv and the trunk. Because car small and the thing is HUGE. Should've borrowed the truck in retrospect. But the thing works fully and is an upgrade to literally every tv in the building and we're gonna mount it in the living room.

#taks speaks #i can't read the huds on some games in there from the couch and this WILL change that #literally going from a 5-9 yr old 40 inch to THAT #for FREE because he managed to convince me to pick electronics up off the side of the road #benefits of living in the woods around rich people i guess

[someone-you-do-not-know]

I kinda miss how much statistical information ff.net gave users about their fanfictions. Like sure. It also encouraged users to go slightly insane over numbers and updating just to see number go up. But AO3 gives me no indication or clue on how many people have read my stories. Like, for all I know, based on the numbers, even those with the biggest numbers could technically only have been read by the number of people who left kudos – and guests could theoretically be left by the same person. And it's completely impossible to tell for ongoing multichapter stories whether people just left after the first chapter unless they leave a comment.

I just miss parts of ff.net.

#fanfiction #writing fanfiction #ao3 #ff.net #being silly #I swear I'm not trying to complain or be a bummer #But when people tell me my stories are popular #I just can't see it #I don't feel popular? #There's a certain disconnect between being an author looking at a number and being the audience looking at the same number #I guess it's the same old song and dance #Leave kudos and a comment and all that #Which isn't really a requirement for reading #But don't be surprised if the people on the other end only look at kudos bookmarks or comments to gauge interest #For the longest time I thought no one even cared about my Birdbrains story because several of the parts had no or very few comments #Stars helped to get some of that passion back by commenting on all of them #Touched part 8 yesterday which was a huge accomplishment #i will shut up now

[shopcat]

also now that it's fresh what we see of little azula in zuko alone really is not all that ... anything at all. like she's not horrifically evil or predeterminedly ANYTHING ... she's literally ten years old. she's acting like a ten year old ?! she trips her friend and pushes her big brother into a fountain. my brothers use to lock me in chests and there's literally an entire popular childhood game made up that's about tricking your friend into giving them a nosebleed by hitting them in the face. and her biggest crime is ... having a talent for firebending, which isn't actually her fault despite what people seem to strangely think, and parroting strategy and propaganda that her actual manipulative and evil father tells her that she clearly grew up around and doesn't just Randomly Know.

both of these particular aspects of her put her in a position of immense pressure by her father from an incredibly young age, in an incredibly volatile environment where she knows, and as the years pass she LEARNS, a slip up or indication of less than perfection could cost her more than just a basic reprimanding. people harp on for years about gifted children and the ramification of treating a child as more mature or capable than they are but can't seem to apply the pretty much perfect comparison even in this fictional way... that's crazy. it is literally her entire narrative arc and the way it just goes over people's heads is ASTONISHING.

like it seriously frustrates me the way people continue to villainise azula beyond logic to the point where there's this fanonised, warped version of her that exists (particularly as an even younger child than she already is) that's like, the antichrist figure to further woobify and "legitimise" zuko's various traumas and his childhood, which i find not only obviously fucking ridiculous and people should be ashamed of themselves but also like, you just don't have to do that. theirs was not a normal childhood and neither of them should be judged as a normal child, but also paradoxically, they are just normal children.

even if azula was in an average family, from a behavioural standpoint, and a LOGICAL standpoint, no, the ten year old little girl doesn't know the full capacity of what she's doing and saying and should not be judged as if an older child or adult were saying them, or as if she is entirely outside of the narrative scope. she teases zuko about how their grandfather was going to "kill him" and how he should get adopted now (which literally... all my siblings have done have people never had siblings...) which is an entirely normal way of acting out and picking fights. when ursa comes in she immediately acts innocent which no, doesn't indicate further malicious intent or "manipulation", it's... how any 10 year old would act if she got caught being naughty and picking fights. (contrary to popular belief zuko is not the main character both of the story and IN LIFE, and azula exists without her brother around – a child scared to get caught indicates a child who has been driven to be SCARED. in the household she lives in this applies tenfold).

she would have no actual reason to realise the outside forces actually at play, unlike their mother, and just like it's not her fault zuko is treated unfairly for being the "unfavoured" child it's not her fault that... adults were actually conspiring to kill her brother. which is a huge thing and is something almost intolerably inconceivable to most adults let alone children.

"but she was callous about her mom leaving" she wouldn't be able to REGISTER anything about their mother "disappearing" (or dying, at least to them at this point in time) within the... 10 hours? it happened in. she was lashing out again. she did not have a hand in "KILLING" her mother. and honestly from what little we did see of ursa, a predisposition to finding your own child unsavoury is kind of unwantonly cruel. these characters don't know that they exist in a narrative where azula is being set up as The Villain, who has to act Villainous, and honestly that's a boring fucking way to look at character behaviour anyway.

as much as i do agree that obviously it's a story and things happen for narrative enhancement, the enrichment of a story comes from the believability of a character's actions and even if that weren't true, half of what people as fans of something do is further that themselves by inferring what we can from what we see and therefore i think i'm right in thinking this anyway. you can't step up to the plate claiming you can handle depth and give me a puddle -_-. anyway. it is insanely unbelievable that a mother should write off her own child and favour the other just because her megalomaniacal husband has shown interest in cultivating his own child as a weapon, and just Plain Insane that so many people write off this character entirely WHILST giving all HER trauma to ZUKO.

also like, she's not even acting like a particularly spoiled princess COULD act like in the beginning she's just kind of an annoying kid. i'm not kidding when i say she's acting pretty much entirely normal. "she set her dolls head on fire" so has every other kid i've ever known. i'm actually going to lose my mind about how people have twisted her character into something so beyond any sort of empathy or consideration of what a child of a manipulative genocidal maniac who is shown to abuse his kids could possibly look and act like when we literally get it served up on a silver platter the entire show in the difference between zuko and azula. "azula always lies" because azula always plays the part to protect herself and the role she was manipulated into thinking she earned is like, the foundation of her character and it's embarassing the way i see so many people just like. fall for it. the inability to conceive any sort of love or compassion for a character that directly parallels the male character everyone trips over to analyse is really transparent and sad tbh. at the end of the day azula haters will be taters as i prosper in my garden of success of loving her and being capable of having a brain.

#🐾 #☆ #atla #sorry this got kind of ranty LMFAO it's just like. i love her and when people turn her into something she's not i need to stab them #a million times over and over until they die badly #also this is literally true bc it's part of the whole thing i'm even talking about but people literally just hate her because she's mean to #zuko. like oh my god. get a grip. he's not real and his fictional feelings don't matter #i literally love that kid BUT GUESS WHAT. HE LOVES AZULA TOO #irs almost like they're siblings or narrative foils or something huhhh interesting woah #also bat meet hornets nest but i do know it's bc they can't sexualise her as much as a fandom the way they freely do with him 😭 #zanyway #child abuse tw #also i doubt it but in case tbis ends up in a tag or sowmrbing no i don't think she hasn't done anything wrong ever if you think that's #what i'm saying then you need to idk read it again. she did eveyrhing she did. so did every other character. #but perhaps when people are going out of their way to give zuko handfuls of compassion and tragic backstory they could fork some over for #his FOURTEEN year old sister. maybe!

[nonuggetshere]

So they didn't become void, they were "born" that way

In FaaF there are different species and kinds of higher beings (still a MASSIVE work in progress tbh, trying to figure out how these cunts work, but for now I'm thinking they're extremely rare species with far greater abilities and lifespans than a normal bug's that have a chance to ascend to true godhood (but even if they don't ascend that doesn't stop mortals from worshipping them as they're already very god-like from a normal bug's perspective)), "pale beings" being one of these kinds/mutations.

Well, there was also a different kind once, "void beings", but they all went extinct a very long time ago by the beginning of the story. Shade Lord was one, and last, of them and it lost its life in a fight with Radiance - the same fight that drove her to make her permanent residence in the dream realm out of her new-found fear of death (which backfired spectacularly ngl). Its body was buried in the Abyss, where it broke apart and decayed, or decayed as much as a non-living thing can, before it was unearthed many ages later by the pale wyrm.

Not much is known about them since they've been gone for so long, and the vessels are the only void beings remaining, but since they're not "pure" void beings it'd be foolish of anyone to assume that the ancient extinct species behaved the same way as these ones do. But they were generally greatly feared thanks to the void's freaky, dangerous properties, which partly lead to their extinction as some of the other higher beings purposefully attacked and killed them whenever they stumbled across one out of fear. Now the only thing remaining of them are the rare void sources, where their former bodies still refuse to fully die.

Shade Lord does get accidentally resurrected in the story bc of all the tomfoolery happening with its body before almost immediately getting killed again by Ghost who inherits its title and reign. Don't ask me how that works, haven't figured that out yet. Magic god shit or something idk LMAO

#thylacines can talk #faaf au #I read somewhere once that if we close mammoths they wouldn't be true mammoths but more like a mammoth elephant hybrid? Idk how accurate #that is but that's essentially what the vessels are. A hybrid species that behaves and looks a lot like the extinct one yet the differences #are significial enough that they're technically not the same thing. And since nobody knows how void beings were like its anyone's guess #which of their traits originated from Shade Lord. You know they could have probably asked it if it didn't want to violently take over #and kill all other gods in rage filled revenge. And then tried to kill its so called children when they didn't want to participate in that. #PK 🤝 SL 🤝 WL parent of the year award #The vessels can't have even ONE good parent sorry #Well SL is less of a parent and more of a...DNA donor? Its kidneys got stolen and turned into babies #Currently in FaaF Norel and PK we're the only ones who studied void so a lot of its properties and origins are a huge mystery. And PK #slowly stopped after the vessel plan began. After Flower/Pure Vessel was taken into the palace the extent of his studies revolved around #them and their health. He only created new moulds when the old ones got destroyed. Guilt played a big part in his reasons for that. #Norel would know a bit more simply because PK's source sample was limited while Norel travelled across wasteland looking for void and #experimented with different sources. And he was considerably more...unethical about them. So he probably knows what void does to a mortal's #body while PK doesn't know much about that bc he was careful to not give any of his citizens and staff void poisoning after he realised it #was dangerous. Also thinking about Norel once having a mole in the White Palace which is how he found out about Floeer and the origins of #vessels. And maybe said mole broke into PK's workshop and wrote down some things before leaving Hallownest 👀 Bc it does feel a little #weird for Norel to know more than PK just like that. And he's a little snake who WOULD steal other people's work. #Like I mentioned previously Norel makes his own constructs which is something I wanted dabble in. Maybe he stole that idea from PK? His #ones are far worse and fewer than PK's but they serve their purpose and he's just starting dabbling in that. By the time he shows his ugly #mug again to terrorise Flower's kids and grandkid he'd probably be MUCH better at that 👀 #I love my fucked up little moth #My one true talent is getting wildly off topic whenever sh asks me about my as #Aus*

[running-in-the-dark]

yes I've been lying in bed for three hours, listening to the same song on repeat, and yes I have written *checks* 14,000 words of the most stupid, embarrassing shit ever over the last two days, and yes I can actively feel my brain melting in my head, but I'm definitely totally fine.

#I need to keep pointing this out because it's absolutely fucking insane to me #the last time I wrote anything resembling a story of any kind was when I was like 11. before I got too self conscious and before people kept #doing shit like taking my diary and reading it. #but since then? nope. nothing. not a single word. #and now it's like. well I guess instead of sinking deeper and deeper into the same damn pattern of spending all day in bed imagining the #same scenario over and over again because I can't remember shit. I'm just. writing it down. #and it's. so fucking cathartic?? because things are actually happening?? #yes it's 100% just absolutely desperate yearning and I can't reread it without wanting to break my phone #but I'm fucking doing it and I don't care how embarrassing it is (I do care so much actually oh my god it's so bad. but I'm doing it anyway) #yes I'll just delete this file the next time I'm hit by that wave of self loathing and yes if anything this is even more of a waste of time #than just thinking about it #but fuck man it feels good. also bad but. good. some of the time. #(yep this is absolutely nothing it's irrelevant it's just me doing a normal thing that people do and feeling like I'm insane. that's what #I do. 🤦 don't know how to be normal. everything is something even if it's really nothing.) #personal

[4arconinoma]

oh goddddd i need to essay about diamond is unbreakable so bad of all things that is the one idea i should really actually realize oh my god

#sooo much to say #i guess the only thing holding me back is the fact that i think people dont really have the patience to just read essays anymore #or maybe i should have more faith? i dont know. if anyone would read that #i mean i guess it shouldnt matter because if anything i should just make it for myself ? #but #ideally id make it into a video essay i'd love to make a video essay but i can't make those for quite a few reasons #i would have to stick with a written one #i really hope i can at least try some day though i have a lot to say. about this part. i have so much to say and so much to break down #it makes me think of so many things #it could at least be some sort of practice for me? i don't know #sigh #so much good about it. #jjba #txt

[musical-chick-13]

I wish I liked the books. I really, really wish I liked the books.

#like I don't. dislike them. #I just. the way the prose is written is tedious on a level I have rarely experienced #they were a SLOG getting through to the point where I'm not even sure how much I remember about the differences between the books and the #show. like I do remember that some of the characters I was less interested in during the show felt more complete in the books. and some of #the politics were tighter. but like. straight-up I cannot read these last 2 if they ever come out. I can't do it. #I love the characters but the actual writing style makes my brain cry #and it's just so frustrating to hear 'but the books are so much BETTER' because like yeah I guess on some level they are but I CAN'T FUCKIN #READ THEM. AND ALSO THE SAME THINGS THAT PEOPLE HATED IN THE SHOW ARE PROBABLY MORE OR LESS ALSO GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS #idk man. it's one thing to be told that something you love sucks. it's another thing to be told that the act of loving it makes you stupid #and like. idk anti-intellectual or something. there are plenty of books I like and make an effort to read. I just didn't like these. #I wish I saw what the rest of you did I really really do but I just don't #In the Vents #genuinely I am so sorry to like half of the people who follow me I know this will be a profound disappointment #I just HAD to get this out of my system #this blog is first and foremost A Place Where I Scream About Things #unfortunately. for everyone. including and especially me lmao.