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ladykatie512 · 2 years

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TL;DR Hi, my name is Katie, and I’m a bisexual woman. I wrote a massive post for bisexual visibility (and also for coming out of the closet to some of you? Idk, I’m not very vocal about my sexuality).

A day before my sixteenth birthday in 2008, Arizona’s House of Representatives voted in favor of Proposition 102. The proposition was a constitutional amendment stating that legal marriage was defined as the union of one man and one woman. May 12th, 2008, was a Monday. I still vividly remember standing in the living room of my mom’s house in Pima County, waiting on her to drive me to high school while watching the local morning news report on the Proposition. From the news reporter, the channel cut to footage of two men in what I can only describe as pure and true anguish. They were locked in an embrace, both sobbing into each other’s shoulders as this cameraman just… filmed them. It was the first time I ever felt something empathetically as close to heartbreak as humanly possible. Honestly, I think about the couple a lot despite not remembering if their names were given or what they looked like.

My mother (as her almost sixteen-year-old daughter was having a silent mental breakdown) walked into the living room, took a brief look at the television, and said, “I don’t care what the queers do as long as they do it away from me.” Well, mom, your daughter is one of those queers. And, honestly, when I think about it, my family is either in denial or oblivious because I was gay as fuck when I was a kid. One of my favorite movies was Ridley Scott’s Legend, and from the moment I could operate a VCR, I watched that movie nearly every day because I was in love with Lili (I still am, if I’m being honest). It only grew from there; Megara from Hercules, Mercury from Blade, Rose from Titanic, Mokoto from Sailor Moon, Esmerelda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame– I could list characters for ages, but that’s beside the point. The point is that I didn’t idolize these women; I didn’t want to be like them. I wanted to kiss them.

I had a best friend that felt the same way, and our elementary school brains figured, “Hey, since we wanna kiss all these girls, why don’t we kiss each other?” So we did. Her father was some god-fearing Christian (I can’t remember what type), and he flipped out when he found out his daughter, and I were kissing. He and my friend’s mom were divorced at the time, and she had full custody, so my friend didn’t have to move schools to stop seeing me. Instead, she simply told the two of us that we weren’t supposed to want to kiss girls and that it was wrong. Since we were girls ourselves, we were supposed to want to kiss boys. She probably had a chat with my mom about the “issue” as well, but if my mom ever talked to me about it, I’ve either lost the memory or locked it away in some deep, dark, anxiety-built vault in my brain.

The talk with my friend’s mom, at least for me, brought up the idea that everyone– every person on this planet– was making a choice about their sexuality. For me, finding guys attractive was the correct choice. If I saw another female character in a movie or TV show that I had a crush on, I wouldn’t mention it. If I met a cute girl irl, we would become best friends instead of girlfriends. I was only ever vocal about guys that I had crushes on. I didn’t have the mentality to challenge the “straight is correct” thought until my first real boyfriend in my first year of high school. I can’t exactly recall the conversation we had, but he had mentioned a female character in a movie that he thought was attractive. I, who confided absolutely everything in him (because, hey, first boyfriend feels), agreed with his views. He stopped, stared at me, and flat out asked me if I was a lesbian. In my attempt to explain that I was not a lesbian, and that I thought being gay was the wrong choice, he told me that sexual orientation was not a choice. I couldn’t wrap my thirteen-year-old brain around that notion and simply figured he was just better at suppressing feelings for the same gender than I was.

My second boyfriend wasn’t much better in regards to the fact. I was dating him when I saw the news report about Proposition 102. I told him how upset I was, and we talked about sexual orientation, where I admitted that I liked girls but knew that was the wrong choice. He tried to comfort me by saying I was not a lesbian because he and I were sexually active. He also told me that I can’t be bisexual because I’ve never had a girlfriend before, so I had nothing to worry about, and I was overreacting.

That was the first time I had ever heard the word bisexual. That was the first time I ever associated my sexual orientation with bisexuality. In that very same conversation, the idea was vehemently denied and shot down.

That boyfriend wasn’t the only one to tell me this, either. My third and fourth boyfriends told me the same thing. Mind you, from August 2006 to September 2015, these four guys were back to back, with maybe a few days to a week max in between. I had been exclusively dating guys for close to a decade, and I didn’t have a chance to breathe. I didn’t have an opportunity to find a girl who liked me enough to want to sleep with or date me.

I started dating my current boyfriend (whom I often call my partner now) in January 2016. We’ve been together for the past 7+ years. We had known each other for about a year. He had watched the decline of my previous relationship and the destructive breakup I had gone through. He had been through similar things and somehow managed to help me hold my life together. My boyfriend is seven years older than me and had heaps more maturity than I had at the time. This man is the first person I’ve dated that wholly accepted my “I think I’m bisexual” mentality.

He’s been slowly helping me come to terms with my bisexuality as I unravel the mess of feelings I’ve had for women since I was a child. It was a prolonged process, but as I’ve been with him, I have realized I am not straight and that I am not a lesbian masquerading as straight. I’ve realized that I am not confused, that sexuality is not a choice, and that I am a valid bisexual even though I have never had a girlfriend or had intercourse with a female. Simply because people assume I am straight does not mean I am. Because I am in a seven-year-long relationship with a man does not disqualify me at all from being a bisexual.

For the past two to three years, I’ve considered myself solidly a bisexual woman and part of the LGBTQ+ community. I no longer feel like I am pretending because I’ve only ever slept with guys.

So why did I write this? Why did I just rant about being bisexual if I didn’t really consider myself “in the closet” for the past few years? I wrote this on the off chance that someone else is going through what I have. I wrote this on the off chance that this might help someone come to terms with their bisexuality (hopefully before their late twenties, but even better if it’s after). I wrote this because invisibility sucks, not being believed sucks, and pretending to be straight sucks.

I see you, I hear you, and I love you

#not fandom #personal #text post #pride month #bisexual visibility

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sagestupidity · 3 years

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Upcoming long-ass post ahead. Warning you now. It goes deep and it is long. There is a lot of personal information, but I wanted to get it out there for pride month. There is a tl;dr at the end. If tumblr mobile allowed for a page break like the old days, I'd use it now

Tw: homophobia, religious bigotry, sexuality, biphobia

I remember the first time I heard about homosexuality. I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, at daycare, in a tree house with 2 other kids my age. They had just learned a new word and were throwing it around every other sentence that day. Lesbian. "What, are you a lesbian?", "so and so is a lesbian hahaha" "only a lesbian would say something like that". I had no idea what this word meant, I was a sheltered 8 or 9 year old. These daycare friends explained what it meant. "It's when girls like other girls, like boyfriend and girlfriend, but they're both girls". For a half second, my world was rocked. I had no idea that was something someone could do. That was a option? 🎆. Before I could even think about it further, the next sentence came out of their mouth "that's so gross, right?". Well shit, they were explaining it to me, they must have been the expert. "Yeah, that's so gross". I couldn't possibly be a lesbian, I'm not gross, I'm Megan, I like bubble baths and art and fairytale stories of princes and princesses. I'm not gross, and therefore definitely not a lesbian.

When I got a bit older about ages 10-12, my parent's signed me up for a week of vacation Bible school out in Pine Idaho every summer. For most of those summers, I went with my mom's boss's granddaughter who was about my age. Her name was Alex. She was super cool and a nice friend. Very much a typical tom boy. Had a bionicle collection, wore a lot of sporty clothes, even got some of her clothes from the boy section. I was sooo jealous of how cool Alex was. But whenever I was shopping with my mom, and tried to pick out less feminine items, I'd get lectured "that's for boys Megan, you can't have that, it's weird that you like this, Megan". no matter how much I liked it, how much I thought about how Alex was allowed to branch out like that. Why couldn't I?

From then to grade 7, I was in my femme bubble. I wore a ton of pink, because I looked up to Elle Woods from legally blonde. I'd have an occasional crush on the class emo. Loving long hair and eyeliner on guys, but otherwise despising everyone else in middle school because i was getting bullied mercilessly. I reclused into books and movies, like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean

I was transfered to Idaho arts charter school. Where the girl to boy ratio was about 7 to 1. We had no sport program besides competitive dance. My family started going to a WELS lutheran church, and for a while, none of this conflicted. Little did I notice, that my church and my upbringing were compiling into some bad homophobia on my part. I was taught that gay people were against God and were going to hell. Gay people were "gross" after all. I was told by my own parents that if I *became* a lesbian, they'd drag me to the pastor's house and have an exorcism performed on me. The idea of even kissing a girl with romantic intent made my stomach flip and my chest hurt. That's just proof of how disgusting and wrong it is... right?

But being in a school dedicated to the performing arts eventually caught up with that. Sure there were gay kids at my school. Our main export was musical theater and dance. But I wasn't friends with any of them, so it was fine. Until someone from my friend group came out. For his privacy, I'll call him A, since I still know people that know him IRL. I had been friends with A for a while before he came out as gay. I wouldn't say we were close, but I'd say we were friends. When he did come out as gay, it was like a dumb homophobic light went out. A wasn't any different just because he was gay, he was still my friend, and nothing changed except my worldview.

Nothing.else.changed.

Whenever I brought A up when telling a story to my parents, they'd interrupt with "you mean the friend that's going to hell" as if that was his name and they were correcting me now that he was an out gay teen. I dug my heels in and became a gay ally for my friend, A. Delving into gay rights as a special interest.

By the time I was 16, I was approaching the next metaphorical hurdle. I noticed I didn't really have any crushes... on anyone. I had friends. I liked fictional characters from books and anime and the occasional celeb. I just thought I had high standards for boys I would date. But I couldn't like girls. What would that even look like? It was pre 2010. The only girls into girls I ever saw were on posters in boy's rooms, or straight girls kissing to get male attention. It took a lot of work to realize God didn't hate gay people and even more work to realize that that could apply to me too. I came out as bi to only my friends at age 17.

I graduated, went off to college. Got a dorm mate, who we will call M. M was also bi, and she had the experience to back it up, supposedly. More experience than me, who hadn't really dated anyone at all. M somehow forced me back in the closet. She insisted I wasn't bi because I had never dated or kissed or anything with a woman. I had just barely had my first kiss with anyone that summer. I was only "bicurious" because how could I possibly know until I finally had experience like she did. So I shrunk myself, and only saw boys, because they gave me attention. Girls only saw me as straight, because I wasn't bi, I was "bicurious".

It took a lot of work to bust out of the bi closet a second time.

I lived my life as a bi woman. Constantly changing my spot on the kinsey scale until these past 7 years or so. I made a realization.

I don't really like guys. I'd sleep with them. I appreciated the validation I felt when I did. But I didn't really like them.

So I juggled with the queer label. Because my sexuality was complicated. Sure, I'd sleep guys, didn't mean I was attracted to them, it's not like it meant anything.

Any time I tried on the lesbian label, I'd get yelled at by a lesbian for being biphobic. They'd say stuff like "lesbians don't like guys", "stop bring men into lesbianism" "lesbians don't want to sleep with guys". No amount of me explaining that I don't like men would convince them. So back to the queer label I went.

I got married to a woman in 2019. And was content with the queer label.

But this year, 2021-

I started reading The Lesbian Document™. Learning that my occasional crush on a male celeb didn't really count as attraction to men.(sorry Bo Burnham).

I made a bit of a realization. I knew I didn't really like men, I was just ok with the idea of sleeping with them. But the idea of being with men felt similar to binge drinking.

They were both

Easily accessible

Toxic

Dangerous/thrilling

Coping mechanisms for deeper issues

I realized I was using the idea of sex with men as self harm, and I should probably stop that.

To wrap up this whole long-ass biography- I'm coming out a third time.

My name is Megan.

I'm 28 years old.

My pronouns are she/they.

And I'm a lesbian.

tl;dr:

#coming out #lesbian #lgbt #pride #gay

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night-dragon937 · 4 years

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I need to share my experience from a few hours ago (writing this at 2 am aug 24 2020) yesterday but first I'm going to slap a huge tw: abuse, Christianity/gay stuff, anxiety attacks, and yelling/screaming, transphobia/homophobia, self harm/cutting and a lot of cussing/swearing onto this. Like this is deeply religious and I'd rather not have discourse on my beliefs.

That should cover it...

Okay so it started out fine, my mom and i were just talking. She was drunk, and attempting to convince me that my asexuality meant that i was straight... But since she was drunk, I'mma give her that. There was a lot of aphobia but that's not what this is about She started telling me about her experience, and best i can describe it, she's a closeted demisexual biromantic lady with a preference for girls and a shit ton of internalized homophobia ("being sexually attracted to women's bodies more than men's doesn't make me lesbian, I'm still straight")

It was a mostly civil conversation, but it was adding onto my bad feelings from my dad the past several weeks making snide hurtful remarks about our religion and my sexuality and gender. Also using the f-slur against me when i had explained to him in the past how badly that word hurts me, to which he apologized profusely and said he'd never have used that word if he knew how it affected me. Obviously a lie, because he's still using it with full knowledge of the effects.

Back to my mom. She started getting into the religious side of it, but we managed to keep it civil, until the very end when she said she'd be praying for me and i said I'd be praying to help figure out who exactly i am, and she remarked "make sure you're praying to the right person" with a really threatening tone to her voice. At that point, i lost it, let her know that her saying that made me want to go back to cutting (in case she wasn't aware) and said that i needed a moment alone (or something along those lines, i was thrown head first into an anxiety attack and can't quite remember very well).

I ran upstairs as she tried to grab me and pull me back, but i managed to make it to my room. I went into a fetal position, because safe, but she came in and all i remember is her screaming repeating some question, i think, at me, me not being able to breathe, her hands squeezing my wrists way too tight, my wrist pinned to the carpet with her knee, the other with her hand as she tried to grab my jaw and force me to look at her.

Her touching me made the attack worse (hours later i still have marks and scratches) and i couldn't talk, think, or breathe. Somehow i was able to choke out repeated pleas for her to stop touching me because it was making everything worse. I don't know how long that lasted. But at some point she stopped grabbing me and just placed her hands on me and started praying in tongues. Like i was fucking demon possessed. Because i had an anxiety attack. Which my parents have been triggering in me for as long as i can remember.

I managed to sit up and get her to stop touching me, but she refused to be less than a foot away from me, even though i was going through a sensory overload and needed personal space. She finally trapped me into a corner of my room and put her arms on either side of me, one of them holding the door closed. She was screaming in my face and i was yelling over her, asking her to give me personal space and stop being so loud so that i could calm down, which she refused. I ended up very trapped and very uncomfortable and doing my best to not have another anxiety attack while replying to the most outlandish of her accusations, but mostly keeping my mouth shut in an attempt to get her to do the same.

She kept using my deadname, like usual, but it was worse for me for some reason at this point. I mentioned that and got yelled at more. I mentioned her pinning my wrists to the ground and got called a liar and she tried to make it so that i couldn't leave and grab a Kleenex until i admitted she was right and that i pinned myself to the ground (???). So i just started describing what i remembered until she got sick of it and let me go wipe my nose. She must have closed my door when she first came in. My dad (stepdad) was standing outside the door, eavesdropping, apparently.

I got a Kleenex but then my mom started yelling at me again, but i mostly just pretended to listen because i didn't want to have another anxiety attack. My dad started piping in and making me feel so much worse. He ended with saying "you're not a Christian. You don't believe in God. Even the devil believes in God." (Implying that I'm worse than the devil). At which point i started breaking down crying. And then i ran outside to have another anxiety attack but this time my mom just stood on the porch because the grass was wet and she was barefoot, but i curled up under the stars for who knows how long as i forced myself to do breathing techniques, and stim by rubbing the wet grass, which really helped ground me.

I went back inside when i was feeling better and got a drink of water and a Kleenex. And they started telling me how much they loved me and that i might not see it, but they were doing this out of love, because they were concerned for my eternity. I kept pointing out things they were doing that hurt me and better ways to do it (constructive criticism, so they know what's bad for me) and they repeatedly told me how much worse they could make it for me and that i should be glad they didn't make it worse. I pointed out that this didn't make their actions better and they said "doesn't make them wrong, either." Which ????? Victim blaming, abuse, what?

I brought up the times I've cried out to God for answers and the few times He's responded, (refusing my request for Him to kill me, telling me I'm not going to Hell for being gay/queer) bc they kept bringing up a few dubiously translated verses of the Bible and they told me that i was listening to the wrong person. That i was worshipping the wrong one. They heavily implied that i pray and worship the devil (disclaimer: i don't judge those who do, that's your life, I'm not gonna try and decide it for you, also i can admit that the church of Satan makes valid points and treats people right, from what I've seen, this is just a huge insult for them to throw at me specifically because of what I've been taught my whole life). Also invalidating my whole experience just because they don't like it.

They keep bringing up me being involved in the community (following queer people on social media, having one queer shirt, going to gsa-which they told me I'm not allowed to be a part of anymore-, having queer friends) as me seeking validation and attention, and that i shouldn't need validation and it shouldn't be about validation if I really think that this is who i am. Aka, because i am human and seek human things, i must be a total fake and fraud about all I've told them (very little). Meanwhile they do the exact same thing with their friends and social media and each other and everything.

My dad kept piping up with totally unrelated, totally unhelpful comments and tangents while my mom recited the same 5 min spiel for at least half an hour. My dad was saying how my grandparents aren't actually Christians because they agree with me that the world isn't black and white and there are some shades of gray, and because they believe once saved, always saved. That there is nothing you can do, as an imperfect human, to remove yourself from the infinite and unconscious love of God. (... I can't believe he fucking believes that humans have the ability to overrule God because it makes it easier for him to blame and condemn people he sees...)

These are the grandparents who have loved me regardless of my sexuality and gender, even tho they don't agree, and made me feel loved and gave me a place to go when i need to escape from my parents. They're the reason I'm keeping my mom's maiden name (since it hasn't been legally changed) because it's their last name, and it's them i want to honor, not my abusive shitty hateful stepdad. Unfortunately they are moving into assisted living because my papa is in a wheelchair, so i can't move in with them.

He ended that tangent with repeatedly telling me that i was not saved. That i was not a Christian. That i didn't believe in God. And that i was going to Hell. Repeatedly.

My mom made me hug her and made me tell her i love her. I ended up exercising to stop myself from becoming suicidal. I don't know if I'll tell anyone irl apart from the one irl friend i have on here. I'm not sure if I'm going to tell my therapist or not. I reached out to two of my christian friends after everything but they were both asleep. I needed to write this all down and put it somewhere public, just to be safe. I'm not safe in my own home and i can't move out because I'm a. Under 18 and b. Broke as hell

There was a lot more that happened, this lasted several hours, but i honestly can't remember all of the details besides what i typed out. Anyway so yeah i kinda wish i were dead but i also wanna stay alive for spite and show them that i can be a fabulous queer Christian and that the world is colorful, and you can't reduce that to monochrome and expect to have an even partially accurate view of the world. I want to help others like me, and help them feel better about myself.

I'm setting this as a queue so that if my parents take my phone away, they can't stop me from posting it (they have no clue how to look at queued posts) and also so that i can go to bed now and look at it again later and edit it

#tw abuse mention #blog post #tw yelling #tw transphobes #tw homophobes #tw cussing #tw cursing #tw swearing #tw anxiety attacks #tw christianity #tw self harm #tw cutting #rant tw #tw rant #long post

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thedeadflag · 4 years

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shadywobblerpalacerebel replied to your post “Genuine question : what's wrong about mpreg ? '-'”

I Just want my gay bois in my stories to have biological children... Why is that transphobic? I don't get it...

Your answer is found in the post you responded to, so let me bring your attention to it since you skipped past it.

Well, I’ll first quote some trans dudes and NB AFAB folks, because they’re the demo harmed most by them (along with uterus-owning intersex dudes):

“daily reminder mpreg is transphobic. like some men can get pregnant and these men have vaginas and uteruses. stop inventing shit that doesn’t exist to invalidate those who do.“ -user: daddybackes

“I hate mpreg. like all these fic writers everywhere going to ridiculous lengths when they could just have trans men but apparently either a. we don’t exist or b. aren’t worthy of love/sexy enough to be in their little stories. i just hate mpreg.“ -user: daddybackes

“now that i think about it mpreg is one of the weirdest, literary concepts out there especially when it involves cis het men. IRL though trans men totally have the option to go through pregnancy and it’s completely normal. IDK, man, I hate when (more than likely) straight girls take something that is something that is uniquely trans and then apply it to straight CIS men. they want to erase us so bad because we’re not “real men” so we don’t get to be involved in their fan fic. They’d ltierally rather make up a whole other set of organs in men to justify mpreg than be like “well some men have uteruses.” Besides i’m not asking cis people to write about the trans experience, becuse they don’t know it, but they can at least just write a man and be like “also…vagina” that works too. so yeah exactly.“ -user: daddybackes

“because it’s ignoring that (trans) men can get pregnant (trans men specifically, but anyone born with a uterus can get pregnant, with any gender identity) and just making both parties cisgender“ -user: bpd-lance

“Like you don’t need magic for men to get pregnant. It’s not an alien thing. I am literally a man who can get pregnant I’m writing this post right now. It’s further otherization of trans bodies combined with gross misogyny when it’s actually used as a trope in fiction (I’m lookin at you, a/b/o fics). It’s always a cis man getting pregnant some how and then he’s treated like shit for these “feminine” things. There’s nothing inherently feminine in giving birth so why are the characters who do give birth in mpreg fics suddenly treated like they’re women (and therefore like shit) because they’re pregnant.If I got pregnant right now, I would not suddenly become a woman. The use of misogynistic language and actions (which are often not outright) towards a pregnant character upholds the idea that pregnancy is a woman only experience, which just isn’t true. It isn’t. I hate mpreg a whole lot and I’d love to have a conversation with other like minded mpreg haters” -user: bokuroho

“another cool tip: don’t write trans male characters to fulfil your pregnancy/mpreg kinks!the coolest tip of all: trans characters don’t exist to carry out your shitty kinks so have some fucking respect “ -user: rabbit-hearted-boy

“to people who write mpreg so their m/m ships can have babies:trans people exist mpreg and f*ta are transphobic (+ pretty intersexist too but i’m dyadic and not an expert so i’ll put that aside for the momet). they fetishise the idea of a man or woman having bodies that they aren’t “meant” to have. they fetishise transness. it’s gross and horrible and as a trans person i’m gonna complain about it.and that second part… uh. i mean that you could have a cis dude and a trans dude as a couple, because most trans men can still give birth to kids. (so long as they haven’t had surgery + aren’t too dysphoric to do so, of course.)” -user: autistictatsuyasuou

“why do people still use cis men to write mpreg stories when trans men existwhy do authors still use cis characters to write stories about gay couples conceiving a child when trans men exist why do writers come up with convoluted ways to get cisgender, men-identified characters pregnant when transgender men exist and need representation” -user: benjiscloset

-------------------

So, with that all said, there’s basically a few issues here:

1. Trans men are being ignored in favour of cis men, despite the cis men characters embodying traits of trans men in order to create/progress a certain narrative. This is textbook fetishization.

2. Mpreg, as a category, is the fetishization of trans men’s bodies to primarily pursue male pregnancy above all else (often involving plenty of smut), more often than not ignoring any and all trans experiences that either don’t fit the narrative they want to tell, or are too ‘difficult’ or ‘scary’ for the writers to write. This is deeply fetishistic in a world where there’s next to no representation of trans men that doesn’t include the fetishization of their bodies and the sexual use of them in ways befitting the cis gaze and standard dehumanization.

So essentially, cis men are used instead of trans men, which is fetishistic, but even when trans men are used, it’s nearly always fetishistic in how the characters and narrative are handled.

There is one type of male person in the world that can get pregnant, and it’s trans men. So when people remove that unique experience from trans men, and discard all of their other traits and experiences, and plop that ability to get pregnant into cis men, that’s absolutely fetishization. It’s fetishizing a whole social group of people, which is dehumanizing and misrepresentative, so it’s transphobic, yeah.

Ultimately, when it comes to any trans representation in media, the primary goal has to be the humanization of the trans characters, because by default, we are dehumanized, which is why nearly all trans representation in media is fetishistic.

If trans representation wasn’t overwhelmingly fetishistic and transphobic, maybe there’d be a little leeway, but as it is, any media content that doesn’t explicitly humanize trans people will end up being transphobic. They cannot be used as a vessel/vehicle for a certain plot device or narrative. They cannot just be used as a means to an end.

Like, a good test is this: Take the mpreg character(s). Remove any and all sexual narratives and scenes. Remove any and all narratives and scenes that are in any way related to his genitals and biological functions. Is a full story told? Can one be cobbled together by what remains? Is the mpreg character still a key element? Are they a departure from transphobic stereotypes (of course, if they’re not trans, then the work is a transphobic write-off)? Are they fully characterized at least at the level of the other main characters? Etc. Etc.

In reality, mpreg doesn’t explicitly claim to be related to trans (or intersex) people, but it cannot be viewed outside of that context in a world where trans and intersex people are also displaced from our bodies and our realities by cis dyadic people, in a world where our body parts are literally objectified and fetishized and removed from our humanity. I literally don’t give a crap what anyone’s intent is, that’s the reality of it, that’s representation that harms trans and intersex people, and if people fail to realize that, then they’re harming trans and intersex people, categorically.

Besides, we should be propping up adoption in fiction, because it’s just as damn valid and wonderful and real and natural as pregnancy. Putting nuclear family ideals over fetishization and oppression of trans men and trans masc nb folks and otherization/devaluation of is super shitty and there’s no reason for it.

#shadywobblerpalacerebel #mpreg #transphobia #trans representation #trans fetishization #intersex fetishization #intersex representation #intersexism #cissexism #fandom meta #creative responsibility #genitals tw #genital mention tw #pregnancy tw

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poppy-in-the-woods · 5 years

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The struggles of late bloomers (Or How I got my doubts about my sexuality dismissed by another bisexual woman)

I grew up in a small town after my parents ditched the city in favour of the countryside when I was eleven. I spent most of my life in a very conservative minded environment and didn’t get internet until my later teenage years (like at 15 or 16). The only gay boy I knew was constantly bullied for his sexuality and though I didn’t partake in that, I have to confess I didn’t get along with him too well because 1) he was that all over the place kind of kid and 2) he began to mock me after an incident related with a pair of Converse shoes and mud, but that’s beside the point. I also knew a bisexual boy, and he was mocked for that too.

Anyways, the school was very conservative, my parents are very conservative and I grew up thinking I was straight. Turns out I am not.

I always thought girls were beautiful, you know? I always appreciated the beauty in both men and women but thought that was normal, that I was like that because I am an artsy person. I enjoy looking at beautiful things and people, at one point of my life I even wanted to be a photographer and I even took a course and bought a fancy camera I actually know how to use. I even learned how to develop film and photos de old fashioned way.

I am 26 years old. I hadn’t had a more diverse group of friends until recent years and it wasn’t until recently that I began to question what I knew about myself. It was hard, I’m not going to say it wasn’t, and not because I was afraid of not being heterosexual, but because it’s hard to let things go, you know? I had this label placed by me on myself and it was scary to scrape it off, because then, what I really knew about myself? Nothing, and that’s fucking scary if you ask me.

So, what did I do? I asked the lgbtq+ persons I knew. No, not the gay dude from my high school, but (among other people) a girl I used to hang online with. We were in a small group and I really trusted them (coincidentally, this girl is the current girlfriend of my ex, but that’s not important). This girl identifies as bisexual and I trusted her, so I decided to ask her too.

She said, “you know if you’re bi and if you have to try to know, then you’re retarded or you lacked oxygen as a newborn”.

I was very insecure about the whole thing. I was having thoughts like “hey, maybe I just feel attracted to this one girl and never happens again” or “am I gay enough to call myself bisexual?”

This dude that was also in the group and also identifies as a bisexual told me most bisexual people aren’t 50-50 when it comes to attraction, but the damage was done. I have anxiety and I had reached out to a person I thought could help me with my struggles and I was met with backlash, which aggravated my anxiety about the issue. I knew it wasn’t an attack on me personally because I was her boyfriend ex’s or something, and I knew it wasn’t because she always talks like she’s House MD’s daughter. She’s that blunt with everybody.

I had to be convinced that I was as valid as anyone by some other friends. Good friends that listened to me and some of them aren’t even in the community. One of my best friends said, upon explaining what had been through my mind, “your bisexuality is pretty clear to me” and he’s a straight man. I have told this to some of my friends, both online and irl, and I was met with positive responses. I even talked with my mother, who is the less conservative of my parents; she didn’t understand it and keeps on questioning it, but at least she didn’t disown me or threw me out of the house, so I am grateful for that.

The thing is if you are a “late bloomer” like me, and stuff like this has happened to you, you are not alone and you are as valid as anyone. People change and evolve and sometimes we discover things about ourselves that we didn’t know. Don’t let anyone tell you that “you’re too old to come out” or that “it’s just a phase, you’ll be back to your normal self soon”. Don’t let anyone in the lgbtq+ community gatekeep your sexual identity and tell you that you don’t belong just because you discovered about it later in life.

I am not the spokesperson of anyone but if this story helps anyone, even if it’s just one person, I feel I have to tell it.

Remember: you are as valid as anyone.

#poppy's thoughts #i take this very seriously #i just put the gifs because it's a long text #so i thought it would make the reading easier #and also a bit of humor never hurt anyone #right?#bisexuality #lgbtq #personal

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canallynwrite · 5 years

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I bring asks: 2, 4, 7, 12, 13, 17, 26, 29, 30

thank you!

2 - HOW DID YOU DISCOVER YOUR SEXUALITY? TELL YOUR STORY.

for context: i’m biromantic asexual!

i was one of those kids who didn’t even know that it was actually possible to like girls as well as guys, so i only really discovered the lgbt+ community after i entered middle school and got access to the internet. the first time i actually thought about being anything other than straight was when my friend came out to me as bisexual. now, my first (or second, whatever) thought was: “does she like me?”

and nobody wants to be the person who thinks their not-straight friend of the same gender is into them just bc said not-straight friend came out to them, so after doing some research i did some self-reflection and realized my actual feelings were more akin to something like: “i hope she likes me.”

for the rest of the year i tried to convince myself that she was the exception to my straightness and was definitely not crushing hard on her. then at the end of the year i started dating someone who, after we dated for a week or so, came out as a trans dude, and i sort of just accepted my bisexuality. the last bit probably doesn’t make sense, but he was in the middle of figuring out his gender, so for a while he identified as a gal and that was when i first really acknowledged that yes, i am indeed very not straight. him coming out as trans just hammered my bi-ness. looking back on it, there were many signs that i was not straight at all. i just had zero language for my feelings!

my asexuality was just always there, tbh. i found out about asexuality after i accepted my bi-ness so as soon as i learned what it meant i just went ‘yah, that’s me. i’m ace.’

4 - WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON YOU TOLD? HOW DID THEY REACT?

uhhh, apart from the dude i was dating, probably the aforementioned friend who’d come out to me as bi. she was really happy for me and we celebrated my first coming out experience together!

7 - WHAT IS ONE QUESTION YOU HATE BEING ASKED ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY?

i try not to get mad at ppl asking questions, bc i know that it is Quite Possible to not know much about sexuality (for the longest time i didn’t know ANYTHING) but biphobic and acephobic questions in general really get my goat. yes, asexuality is a thing that exists; no, i’m not going to cheat on my partner just bc i’m bi.

12 - WHAT’S THE STUPIDEST THING YOU’VE HEARD SAID ABOUT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY?

tbh, any time a straight person starts talking about the lgbt+ community like they know everything about it and are Great Allies i have to roll my eyes. jordan, you’re straight as uncooked spaghetti and cisgender, please stop pretending your opinions have any authority here just bc you read a few articles on gender/sexual fluidity and have a gay friend or two.

but, on a more well-known note, the stupidest thing i’ve heard would definitely have to be anything that those assholes who claim that the lgbt+ community includes pedophiles have ever said. that idea is both stupid and enraging.

13 - WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AS A WHOLE?

i’ve seen lgbt+ people say a lot of stupid shit, even against other sexualities (especially against asexuality), but as a whole the lgbt+ community is extremely accepting and seems to have so many little niche corners for every possible interest or hobby. like, u want lgbt+ writers??? u got it, pal. a group lgbt+ athletes??? u may have to look a little harder than for the lgbt+ writers but damn, they’re there! blogs about lgbt+ animals in nature??? yes, that does exist!

it’s such a large community, filled with so many different types of people, which is what i love about it!

17 - HAVE YOU BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP? IF SO, HOW DID YOU MEET?

i’ve been in two! and am currently in,,,, something? it’s a little complicated. we both know we like each other (and i wish we were dating!) but we haven’t “””officially””” decided to go out.

the other two were a) some dude i broke up with after two days lmao; we won’t talk about him, and b) the dude i talked about earlier! we met on a roleplaying forum for ppl in our area when we were younger and really hit it off. i asked him out two or three months after we met, and we were together for about six months before going off ‘n on. we “””officially””” broke up after a year or so bc he needed some time to himself for his mental health.

26 - WHAT IDENTITY ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?

well, for pre-middle-school me i’d sit her down and give her an hour long lecture on the lgbt+ community and recommend her some books w/ lgbt+ characters. she doesn’t know that being bi is possible so i’d also pull up an irl bi person as an example. for questioning!me, i think i’d just advise her not too push to hard against the idea of being bi. if you continue to like girls (and you will) then that’s okay and not something to tear yourself up about.

29 - WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT BEING LGBT+?

a) we are, in fact, a very wide spectrum of individuals, and stereotyping irl people does not help anything. being interested in women does not make me super butch; it makes me, me.

b) being lgbt+ is most certainly not all peaches and if you act like it is then you are Very Wrong Indeed, my friend. tbh, i don’t have much for this point besides complaining about that one straight person who called themselves an ally but still tried to police who i came out to and implied that if i wasn’t okay with having my sexuality shouted out to the world in the middle of a crowded cafeteria then i must be repressing myself. so, yeah, don’t be like that person, kids.

30 - WHY ARE YOU PROUD TO BE LGBT+?

how persistent lgbt+ people - of the past and present - are. throughout every age and every culture, no matter if lgbt+ ppl are oppressed or accepted, you will find lgbt+ people. some are harder to find, because of hate towards people like them, but look hard enough and you will find them. even when lgbt+ people were persecuted, they were there. even in places where they could still be put to death today, they’re there, and they’re fighting.

the pink triangle was what nazis marked gay men with in concentration camps, but lgbt+ people, most notably the AIDS movement, have reclaimed it, taken it back and turned it into a positive symbol for lgbt+ people.

and that is why i’m proud to be lgbt+. to stand with these people is an absolute honor.

#lgbt+#biromantic asexual #queer-coding #the pink triangle #pride month #ask me stuff!#asks #alessia-writes #tw: queer #my thoughts #yikes i wrote a lot #lgbt+ pride #well #have fun reading!#lgbt+ asks

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heyitslapis · 6 years

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Ok let's see... its been about 3 weeks since i posted last, give or take a few days. And I'll just say its been an interesting and exhausting few weeks.

Still trying to completely get over my dumbf*ck feelings for Alex. I'm not really doing a super great job at that, and still get random depressive moments that last a varying amount of time, but usually i just push my pity party to the side after about 2 minutes.

On the 3rd of June, Alex went up to see part of her family and join them on a cruise to Columbia. She said wont be back until maybe the 3rd or 4th of July at the earliest. I kinda miss her, but I feel like spending a month physically apart from her will do me some good. Her and i still snap back and fourth to save our streak and to day good morning. Whenever she cant find wifi, she turns on her dad's personal hotspot so she can send me at least one snap to keep our streak rolling (we are the longest streak we have with anyone on our snapchats, and it stands currently at 261 days.) The day after she left the streak sorta died for the day, but she was able to save it cause she was in a different time zone.

Since she's been gone, we've hired several new people at work, many if which being new hosts (thank God tbh, cause this means after theyre all done training and get a couple weeks to get used to everything i can train as a server and hopefully make a little more money). One of them is Giovanni's sister (Gio is a guy that works there. Mostly does dish, sometimes hosts.) And apparently she likes me? About a week before she started they came in to eat with their mom and after they left Gio was like "Dude, i think my sister likes you."

Hey, some random girl actually has a crush on me for the first time in my life? That's cool! Right? It would be, if she weren't 17. If i were still 18 or 19, i wouldnt really care. But now that im 20, even though we only have a 2 year and almost 6 month age difference, i still feel like its weird. I feel like im in a whole new age threshold now that ive hit that 2 decade mark, and she just seems to me like a kid. Anyway, Sammy (thats her) is bi with a preference for girls. She's very forward about asking the girls at work about their sexuality (she'll be mid convo and just be like "wait; you straight?") She makes a hobby of flirting with the straight girls, because as she says it, she can easily flirt with straight girls bc she knows she wont have a chance. As soon as she knows theyre bi or gay, she cant even really talk to them. Sammy flirts with me in excess, has asked me 3 times if im straight, or if im sure that i am (homegirl has only been here like two weeks), and the reason why is because she would happily let me break her heart, and has said thats its too bad im not gay bc if i was she would let me crush her. Also has told me that i remind her of her ex girlfriend, and when i said idk if thats supposed to be a compliment or not, she said "well i really liked her, so..." Oh and btw all 3 times shes asked, I've told her im straight (yknow, bc im not out to the irl general public) and I'll just say that having to lie outloud about my sexuality does not feel that great. Thats not something ive ever had to verbally do before, and now i understand. Tbh i dont really lie, or at least i very rarely do, bc i dont like it, and i want to be seen as trustworthy. i have told my share of lies in my day, but i feel like that was in the top 3 worst lies ive ever told. Simply because i know thats not who i am, yet im saying it anyway.

Besides that, in these last couple weeks ive:

Gotten my computer hacked and almost got scamed out of the piddly $120 dollars total that is in my bank account for me to try to live off of until next Fridays paycheck, and almost got my brother's bank account hacked (looong f*ckin story. Short version, im a gotdang fool, and people are absolute bastards), so now i cant use my computer until i get it looked at, which means no art (sucks bc i wanted to draw myself a bi pride icon)

Put in 103 hours at work in the last 2 weeks

Had our only available car break down twice

Got about half of our kitchen painted. Still need to find time to finish it

Purchased tickets for a convention, and bought almost everything i need to finish my cosplay.

Have a sore in the back of my mouth thats been plaguing me for over a week (finally starting to heal. Its been hurting to do so much as talk, much less eat or drink)

Had to deal with everyone's attitudes at work (some sh*ts going on with the moon and everyones been a pissy ass lately, and im so over it)

The pain in the ass girl at work that we've been trying to get rid of for over a year called in and quit 15 minutes before her literal last shift (Father's day) and our proprietary manager told her "its bullshit that you just found out that your other job scheduled you to work today 15 minutes before you had to come here" and "dont try to come back to this store again". Im ecstatic about it tbqh and feel a small sense of victory about the whole thing.

One of my favorite gays from work had his last shift Saturday night and im still sad about it.

It may not seem like much but its just all around every other day something else small happened to add to the weird and crazy smorgasbord that is my life.

Also bless Sammy bc yesterday was Father's Day, and because of that, i was in the building of my work at 9:45am, started working to get set up at 10, opened around 10:50, and didnt stop until about 8:50pm, 10 minutes before we closed. Our proprietary manager bought us tons of pizza and snacks in the middle of our shift so that we could all take turns having a 10 minute breather, but other than that it was non-stop work and dedication to the customer. At 9:50am my brother went to the Duncan Donuts down the road from us to get the handful of morning people either coffee or bagels or whatever they asked for. I told my brother to get me the english muffin with egg and cheese, and if they had the option, to add sausage to it. Also to tell Sammy i said hi (because she works at that Duncan also, and was there yesterday morning). My brother comes back with breakfast, hands me my food and said that Sammy made it especially for me. (At that time i was also in a bad mood bc i was tired from working four open doubles in a row, and was stressed, so that really lifted my spirits a bit. The food, and the thought that someone made it especially for me.) And i'll just say she just earned my love for the next week at least.

Anyway i think thats all for now loves. I dont have a very eventful life, but i sure do have a busy one.

#my life #avatarkorvira speaks #poor sammy thinks im quote ''really cute'' and ''f*cking adorable'' and im kinda glad she thinks im straight #like her second night training with me she asked how old i was and when i said 20 she said ''damn''#then later when i asked her age (even though i alreadu knew she was 17) she refused to tell me specifically #like shed tell anyone else (including my sister) but not me #and you see at work with certain people ill be like playfully flirty with them just as one of the many ways i show friendliness #like i do it to alex and heather and marissa and molly and several others. but theyre all adults #i know for a fact sammy is a minor. so i told her im not gonna make crude or flirty jokes with her and she doesnt like that #also i just realized that i only joke flirt with girls at work #mostly thats just because im more comfortable with the gals. that and every guy there is either annoying or nasty #and i wouldnt be able to interact with them that way without them making it really gross or thinking im actually hitting on them #and if i ever truely hitting on any of the guys at work someone smack me in the back of the head bc ew #alex #sammy

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grunge-optimistic · 3 years

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hi, i’m back.... it’s 08/02/2021, monday morning.

so... 29-15-13 .... i love him- i broke it off with 2514 ages ago, but it was after 291513(211) broke it off with me :/

because it was hurting other guys - seeing me and 211 together ... i never even got a chance to hear his side - he never even gave me an actual reason as to why he don’t wanna be with me no more, i miss him every single day. his laugh, his smile,... his voice, even when he pushed his hair back as he’s approaching me, and him holding my hand and using the excuse of me getting cold (since i do get cold very easily and i am known to be that person), and him and i hugging. but now, i can’t reach him, i can’t say anything to him because he blocked me before - when i was confused as to what had happened- why he had stopped talking to me and everything ... yk... but uh- turns out being with me was such a hassle because of the guys that liked/like me....

why couldn’t those guys jus keep their feelings to themselves when they clearly saw 211 and i getting closer n’ closer as the days go by (physically). I jus miss everything about him- and every single guy that hits me up or ... that *has* hmu, i’ve unintentionally compared that guy with 211, every.single.time. and idkh to stop it, i don’t do it on purpose or anything, it jus... sorta... happens .... yk- like... idekh to stop it, it still happens.

211 ... this guys.... has a hold on my heart that i can’t even break if i wanted to, and oh man, oh have i wanted to, i still want to, because loving him... hurts me... it physically and mentally hurts and drains the crap out of me, idekh i’ve made it this far, no joke- this guy made me feel so special.

211 was the type of guy that doesn’t have social media besides for reddit and discord - yes... a gamer guy, i fell for a gamer guy.... - he was/is great @ anything and everything he put his mind to ngl.... i ain’t even kidding, he is toxic to everybody, makes snarky comments to every one, makes fun of em... but then.... when it came to me.... he’d jus be the most sweetest, kindest soul, who only feels joy and love .... i was the only person who could make him feel so vulnerable and who’d get him to tell me anything and make him do anything .... we were perfect together..... i still believe he and i are meant to be yk... like on last.fm.... he and i have a strong compatibility lmao.... (of music), he and i enjoy the same music .... i jus love everything ‘bout him, man. also, i wasn’t the type of guy to fall for people easily, like.... the last time (before me) that he had feelings for somebody was in primary school...... we’re 18 turning 19 now... so that’s a very long time.... and also apparently he is a homophobe but like with me... twas cute —- like one time i was like ‘you’re gay’ and then he’s like... well- you must be a man then :)) lmao,,, and i have said that irl too- and he said the same thing then- it has happened a few times ngl... bro... i actually love him so much... i never saw a single flaw in him.

i generally haaaate long hair on guys but like.... i didn’t really care how he looked, i jus knew one thing which was, i wanted him.... i want him, he is the one i want ... no one else- and i still believe that, nothing will nor can change my mind about that.

he treated me with so much love and caution, he and i were 100% honest with eachother ... and no matter what it was, he and i promised each other that the other one wouldn’t take offence .... yk....

bro.... one time, late @ night- he and i were on call and he and i jus finished watching a movie (quarantine days), annnd... he was super super tired- twas a day - waking up early n’ stuff ykyk - and he wanted to go to sleep, like i could tell so i said he could go if he wanted to, and he said in a bit, and then we were talking, mainly me because i am super talkative lmao- and then two hours later (~@2am) i was like “oh, aren’t you tired? didn’t you wanna go to sleep?” he was like “yeah, but i like listening to your voice” and then he told me that he had everything off - pc screen was off, his light and everything was turned off and he was jus listening to the sound of my voice for like two hours straight... like whot... no one... and i mean ... no one.... has been like that with me, bro.... that... now that was the moment when i really fell so hard for this guy, and it has knot stopped since, even now... even when he broke my heart into a billion pieces, i can’t help but think of him as the greatest, kindest guy in the whole wide world.... this guy really has a hold on my heart and i wish i could jus ... nothing him, i need to nothing him because if i don’t then.... i don’t think i could ever move on with another guy because i keep comparing every single one of em w: 211...

hoenstly, all i could think about is.... how can he be over me so quickly ... like in one day- all feelings jus ✨gone✨ but then,... i thought about it from his pov, how difficult it must’ve been hearing all of the bad things being said about him jus ‘cause he got me... and the other guys didn’t get me-

i wish i could be like to him “i chose you, ‘cause i wanna be with you, you’re the only one i want right now and forever, no joke, you and i both love and hate the same things and every time we talk, i am happy, there’s never a dull moment between us and ... you’re the only one that truely understands me - everybody else judges me when i ask for advice, but not you, you actually help me out and you’re so so so sweet, i jus want you in my arms, and me in yours.....”. but i can’t tell him any of that because... we graduated from high school, i can never see him ever again.... i have tried, i’d go to the mall every single day in hopes that i’d bump into him... but nope.... i have not ... because ik he stays inside all day, plays video games and on calls with his friends....

did you know he broke it off with me because exams right, and whenever he and i made eye contact after that (only three times; chem, eng exams and grad), he looked sad... he didn’t look like he hated me, he jus looked sad....

especially on graduation night, — he and i both have the same friends because i’m friends with every group / every one... and his groups is one of the groups i happen to be friends with as well, anyway, when i had half of his group of friends and he was with the other half... (all guys btw, no girls - besides me, ofc), we were only like ~2meters away, and when he looked @ me, from a distance, he looked hurt. broken. lost. sad.... we both looked @ eachother @ the same time... i couldn’t ... i didn’t ... wanna look away but. i had to. man, how i really love him... he didn’t have any hate in his eyes, (face mask), i couldn’t even see his full facial expression but what i saw was not hate, it was only hurt and sadness ... i really, oh how i really wanted to give him a hug- but i couldn’t ofc :/ .

and that day, grad day, was the day when i realised that he didn’t break it off out of hate.... jus .... he broke it off because he didn’t want anyone else hurting from him and i being together... now the guy that everyone that knows him and calls him a friend... how can they call him a toxic and a mean person ... when he did that for so many guys ... like - no nice guy would ever do that- but he did... and that was when i stopped listening to all of those people because they didn’t know him like how i know him.

oh, how he has a hold on my heart, and that i couldn’t break even if i wanted to.

oh, how i’d wish to get a second chance with his man.

this is my right person, wrong time: love.

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actuallyvady · 7 years

Text

It’s Pride month and people are posting things, so:

I’m Vady, and I’m... queer? Labels are complicated, but here’s the closest approximation I have:

I’m genderfluid; I tend to be agender most of the time, but have times when I am masculine or feminine-- masculine is more common. I prefer they/them unless I have told you otherwise; I have recently realized that constant use of she/her bothers me.

I think of myself as asexual or grey-ace; while I have had sexual relationships and enjoyed them, my desire is generally tied to wanting to please my partner, and I could happily go the rest of my life without sex. There have been exceptions. I have also begun thinking of myself as aromantic more and more, though again, there have been exceptions.

Most of my relationships have been with men, and up until a couple of years ago I would have called myself straight. Since then I’ve realized that I am very fond of women and enjoy sexual encounters with them immensely... so when it comes to the grey part of the grey-ace label, I just go with pansexual. (Besides, as a nonbinary person, labels like “gay” and “straight” are a little... inaccurate.)

Usually, when someone asks about my gender or sexuality, I respond with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’ve come out selectively. My facebook profile has been set to use they/them for a couple of years, and I’ve occasionally posted things about being nonbinary or asexual, but not often. My IRL friends know a bit more; I have not discussed it with my family at all (though my immediate family are all on facebook, and they probably know.)

I’ve been around for Pride before, but I’ve never attended. Even after I started questioning my gender and calling myself ace, I didn’t really feel like I belonged there. This year I am going. I’m not sure what to expect.

#three years ago all of this would have been different #three years from now it may be different again #which is part of why i have hesitated to 'come out'#but this is what i think of as true for the moment #...hell even now i'm hedging and phrasing things as maybe and subjective #*sigh*#anyway #this is me?

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mincypher · 7 years

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Hey flower! I was wondering if you could give me some advice? Because you seem like a lovely person and idk I'd love your opinion/help... Well, I'm a lesbian but I haven't told my parents & some friends yet... And since I've read you're gay too I was hoping you could give me an idea on how to tell them... I'm worried for their reaction... How did you tell it to your parents/friends? I feel lost

Hello beautiful, sorry if this is late, I’ve only checked tumblr now, been out al day >

Aaannnd.. i’m not really sure i can help because i only talk about my sexuality a bit here on tumblr and with a few people i met on the internet, i didnt tell anyone i know irl ;;;;i really cant find the courage even though it hurts to just hide and pretend…. like if someone comes to me saying “hey im not straight!” then i would immediately go “hell yeah me neither” lol but other than that i really cant talk about it with other people ;;;(oh and btw i’m pansexual ^^)

Anyway..

First of all… make sure you’re safe coming out!!!! you safety is the most important thing, always!

Then.. Im sure that if they’re open about sexuality, they will definetely support you!Maybe you can first try talking about it with someone you trust a lot, be it a parent, a sibling ? idk or a friend, someone whom you are close to and to whom you feel more relaxed talking to.. i think it would be easier.

If you’re not sure about what would their reaction be maybe first try dropping some hints? Maybe talk about the topic in general, see what they think about it and what’s their reaction.. for example it happened to me to talk about homosexuality or gender identity with my mom cause we heard something about it on tv and i commented it and that started a whole conversation with her.it also helped cause she wasnt aware/couldnt understand certain things so i explained it all to her and this helped me realize that, although she is definetely ignorant about some topics, she is also really willing to understand and learn and maybe it’s difficult for her to understand some things but she has always showed respect and this also made me feel much safer and relaxed.. and even though i still havent found the courage to tell them i somehow feel closer to the goal!

Also i keep dropping hints to one of my friends, something simple and maybe stupid lol but sometimes i make comments on how the girl in the advertisment was really cute when she instead made the same comment on the man beside the girl idk something like that ahaha

Im sorry if this isnt much helpful and not what you expected ;_;I cant give you a real advice since i havent come out to anyone basically :c

Gather all your courage and stay as much relaxed about it as you canand again, if they’re openminded about this topic, im sure you have nothing to fear!

And you said you’ve come out to some friends, right? i guess you feel better around them now so think that you will feel that way with others too!!

One more time though, always make sure you will be safe!!!if someone makes homophobic comments or such maybe it’s better to avoid talking with them about it if it might threaten you somehow.

You have all my support and i wish you good luck from my heart ♥And if you need somwone to talk or vent, now that i’m always here! *hugs you tight*

#anon #answered #im really sorry i cant be more helpful ;;;

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