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boiohboii · 10 months

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The surprise guest (who had to be protected by the host)

Lando Norris x Leclerc! Reader

After Lando Norris had a make out session with YN Leclerc on his stream, it hadn't been intentional, he had been too scared to come face to face with any of his girlfriend's three older brothers. But when his girlfriend's mother invites him over for dinner, he can't just ignore her

in which Pascale Leclerc invites her daughter's boyfriend (or as she likes to call him, her fourth son) over for a family dinner

N.B: I feel like the humor isn't what most of you expected and I am so sorry, I swear I am funnier irl 😭 hope you guys like it... special thanks to @glai1023-blog and @flowerchild-96 for the idea of mama leclerc doting on Lando

For context

The brothers' reactions to the steamy stream

Social media reactions

YN had always been close to her mother, she always told her about her new hair ideas, how she wants to cook a new recipe and her crushes, so when YN started dating Lando Norris her mother was the first person to know (with the promise of not telling her brothers)

Pascale had met Lando quite a lot in the 9 months that the young couple's relationship had stayed secret from her brothers. To say Pascale adored the young Brit was an understatement.

Pascale Leclerc loved Lando Norris like her own son; she learned all his favorite foods, what are his preferred desserts and the meals he hadn't been able to taste before (so that she could make it for him)

With that being said, the Leclerc parent is always big on family. She had instilled in her childrens' head that even if you are busy, you must have a day each month for a family dinner and that all five members of the Leclerc family must be present.

Except for this month, six members were present at that dinner, and three of them were ready to kick the intruder out if it not had been for their mother hitting them on the back of their heads.

It had all started out normal- well as normal as it could be when just a week ago you had seen your sister making out with her boyfriend on live.

Pascale had been in the kitchen making dinner with the help of YN while the three male Leclercs were too traumatised by last week's events to face their sister. It's not that they didn't want to ask her questions, they really did, they wanted to interrogate her, but whenever they catch a glimpse of her they remember the phone screens showing her and her boyfriend.

Boyfriend. That was one person they would love to meet. Charles could probably know where Lando Norris is whenever he wanted, that was the perks of having the same circle of friends, team workers who were also friends and same bosses. Did he want to talk to him? No. Did he want to beat him? Yes.

The doorbell interrupted the brothers creative imagination of how they could kill the British driver. As Arthur was closest to the door he went up to see who it was, not expecting the one who they murdered 100 different ways in their haeds to be standing at the door with 2 bouquets of flowers, a box of chocolate and a box of what appeared to be a cake.

"Oh, umm, hi?"

Lando was about to piss his pants, he saw that expression change on Arthur's face, and he was the youngest of his girlfriend's brothers. With every second Arthur stared at him his heart rate increased with sweat filling his palms as his throat tightened up.

"Who is it Arthur?"

Shit, fuck. Lando knew that voice all too well, and he was not ready to have his head nailed to the front of the paddock for everyone to see.

"Oh dear, hello my son, Arthur move out of the way."

The gentle voice of Pascale Leclerc stopped any and all movements in the living room.

"SON!"

The three Leclercs exclaimed in sync, looking at the young brit with wide eyes and clenched jaws.

The boys' anger increased as they watched their mother fuss over the boy, thanking him for the flowers as she called their sister to place them in a vase, giving him a hug and kissing his cheeks.

"Oh lovely, you didn't have to bring anything. Is that your favorite dessert then?"

Lando was all too aware of the three pairs of eyes staring at him, and if looks could kill he'd be 18 feet under. Gulping, he gave Pascale an awkward smile, too scared to actually utter a word.

Noticing his trembling hands and terrified glances at her sons, Pascale glared at the young men "you three! Stop it!"

"But mum-"

"No! I don't want to hear a word out of any of you if it's not going to be nice! You should respect you sister's boyfriend and my guest!"

"It's a family dinner! You never invited any of our girlfriends to a family dinner before"

"Oh my god," now that's a familiar voice Lando loves hearing "stop being babies about it."

Moving closed, YN took the flowers from Lando's hands "ohhh, mum, he got you your favourite!"

"Thank you love." Giving him a peck on the lips, YN smiled at him, and upon hearing her brothers' groans and complains she gave him a wink before kissing him again.

■■♡■■

The three Leclerc brothers were like Hyenas, waiting for their mother to stop protecting their pray so they could have a word (with their fists.)

Sitting at the couch facing the open kitchen they watched as their mother dotted over the British driver, stretching her hand for him to taste the food on the spoon before giving her a wide smile

"You three look like Scar." YN teased as she took a seat besides Charles

"Mon ange," Charles started as he rotated in his seat making him face to face with his sister "please, why didn't you tell us?"

"YN, Lando Norris, really?" Arthur whined as he looked at his younger sister, waiting for an explanation of hers.

"You three are really insufferable," YN stated as she looked at them with a devilish smirk "if you guys are wondering why i didn't tell you, it's just cause I know you three will be earing my ear off about our relationship and yes Arthur, Lando Norris, he makes me happy and he kisses me oh so-"

"LALALALALALAAA" Arthur screamed at the top of his lungs, making his sister laugh while their mother scolded them for the noise

"No, but really," YN took a sip of water "he is really nice to me, he treats me really well and he is so respectful-"

"Oh yeah, making out on live is oh so respectful of him" Lorenzo rolled his eyes then glared at the young boy in the kitchen, getting head pats from their mother like a golden retriever.

"Oh god, don't remind me man" Charles groaned as the image he tried so hard to erase came back much more vibrant and clearer, as if the presence of Lando just solidified it in his brain.

"Okay listen," YN huffed as she crossed her arms "if you don't like him then okay, fine, I will end it before it goes any further, but it was an honest mistake on both of out parts. We're not into that kind of thing."

"God, will you stop doing that!"

"Do you want to tramatise us?"

"Oh god, I did not need to know anything about this."

Hearing her brothers whine and groan from her teasing brings YN the greatest of joys. Was she planning on actually breaking things off for her brothers? Hell no, they're not little princesses they can keep their emotions in check.

"Mon ange, are you really sure that you like him?"

"Yes!" YN insisted as she looked at him like he grew 2 heads "will you just please get to know him?"

Sighing Charles bit his tongue, not wanting to actually upset his sister with what he really wanted to say.

"Okay mon ange, I'll talk to him and I'll make sure everything is normal," Charles got up to make his way to his mother who was now in a matching apron with Lando as he listened to her every word, basking up the praises and head pats given to him "just please, if he hurts you or if you feel like you aren't his top priority don't stick around okay. You are worth so much more than a race driver."

"Aren't you one?"

"Exactly."

With that, Charles left his siblings heading off to his mother with a pout as he spotted her patting the Brit's cheek with a full smile

"God, he's so whipped for her." Arthur told his brother, shaking his head.

"Yeah well, I told him it'd bite him in the ass someday."

"Hey! I'm not that bad!"

"YN," Lorenzo looked at her with a blank expression "you take full advantage of it and you know it."

■■♡■■

It had been an hour and now the family of five and their guest are sitting at the dinner table, having their first bite of the homemade dinner.

"Oh, this tastes phenomenal Mrs Leclerc. I hadn't had that in a while"

"Oh dear, I'm so glad you like it!" Pascale cooed over the young boy, getting up to place more for him on his plate "YN told me it's one of your favourites."

"Thank you so much darling." Lando smiled at YN, feeling more at ease with the glares sent his way as Pascale Leclerc glared right back at her sons.

"Mum," Lorenzo started as he looked at the food in distaste "I don't eat that, you know."

"Well," the mother smiled at her son sarcastically, making sure to get her point across "if you don't like it, then don't eat."

"Oh, c'est brutal maman." Arthur murmured under his breath, looking at his oldest sibling in pity

("Oh, that's brutal mum")

"I said no French!" Pascale warned her youngest son before turning to her now favorite son "tell me Lando, do you like Vanilla cakes?"

"Not really no, but YN told me it's your favorite so I bought it from what I also believe to be your favorite dessert shop."

"Oh dear, you really are my favorite," four voices of a 'mum!' yelled in the dinning room which did not take any of Pascale's attention away from the British young man "you're going to make me swoon."

"Oh my god," YN whispered to her brothers "we lost her."

"Yeah well," Lorenzo grumbled at his sister "he is your boyfriend"

"I lost my mum to my boyfriend."

"Oh, he went out of his way to go to her favourite shop," Arthur stated "she's not letting him go anywhere."

"I think you lost both of them mon ange."

■■♡■■

{Taglist: @idaesrhy @masonspulisic}

#f1 x reader #f1 imagine #charles leclerc #f1 #lando norris x y/n #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x leclerc!reader #lando norris x leclerc reader #charles leclerc sister #charles leclerc x sister!reader #leclerc!reader #arthur leclerc x sister reader #older brother arthur #lorenzo leclerc x sister reader #lorenzo leclerc #older brother leclerc #older brother charles #brother!charles leclerc

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maquina-semiotica · 8 months

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British Murder Boys, "Dead Sun"

#British Murder Boys #Spotify

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mysterycitrus · 4 months

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Do you have any opinions or hot takes about Alfred Pennyworth?

im gonna upset the alfred girlies but my hot take for alfred is that he's bruce's most dedicated enabler and often hides behind being "the help" to disguise the fact that yeah, historically he has just stood by and let bruce do horrible things.

a lot of that is like... bruce is his kid, and alfred is bruce's father, but also they rarely vocalise it because alfred is british + bruce is bruce + would it be seen as a disservice to thomas wayne, whose death was a key instigator in bruce's path to becoming batman? i also think that alfred raising bruce in the wake of his parent's murder was always going to change how alfred held bruce accountable for the things he did. how can u be hard on a kid who's just lost everything, even when that kid goes on to hurt others, including his own kids? like bruce is alfred's son, and alfred loves bruce more than anyone else, including alfred's own children (irony).

that doesn't make him a bad person necessarily but it does explain a lot of his actions. sometimes, sure, he'll shout at bruce, and storm away, or be silently disapproving, but ultimately he'll still stand on the sidelines and watch rather than acting in the moment. it's easier to express disapproval after the fact than actually confront bruce and force some kind of change. it's easier for alfred to excuse his own behaviour this way, too. he'll lecture bruce about his sleeping habits, his protein intake, but it isn't common that he goes against what bruce actually wants. that maintains their relationship equilibrium.

i also think examining alfred's relationships with bruce's kids is interesting, especially since there's this pervasive idea that jason is alfred's favourite which is.... lol. the dynamics of dick's time as robin are always gonna be a lil funky as a result of its 40+ year timeline but both alfred and bruce both refer to dick as their boy. dick is a grandson figure, sure, but he's also like... alfred's other son in a lot of ways, as much as he is bruce's. alfred was that other parent when dick was growing up. and with that in mind, he also relies on dick as a support to emotionally regulate bruce.

that doesn't mean alfred only cares about bruce, obviously, but every successive person who joins the family is going to be tempered through the lens of bruce is alfred's son, and bruce is also alfred's employer. clearly bruce doesn't think of him that way, but it's still pervasive. that relationship will always have the foundation of a butler raising the traumatised, angry child of the couple who hired him, and then watching that child grow into someone who is the literal embodiment of my way or the highway. i imagine there's some guilt there. wondering what could have been prevented if he'd raised his voice.

#sorry alfred girlies (whoever u are)#alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #dc comics #the ask and the answer

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joyflameball · 4 months

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If any other FNAF fans wanna throw in your favorite fucking insane FNAF facts PLEASE do

VAGUE explanations under the cut (please know I feel like that xkcd panel about overestimating the average person's knowledge of a topic right now)

the bite of 87 isn't important to the lore: It comes up ONCE in the first game, barely effects the lore, we don't even know who it happened to, literally its only lore impact is that the animatronics can't walk around during the day anymore. meanwhile the bite of 83 is incredibly likely to be the inciting incident that caused the murderer to do the murders. the "WAS THAT THE BITE OF 87" meme is not the bite of 87

golden freddy might have two souls: in the final fnaf 3 cutscene the bad end has golden freddy's head with two lights in it, and in the survival logbooks it's heavily implied there are two spirits rummaging around in there. there's more evidence but it's funnier if i don't tell you. the generally accepted canon is that golden freddy is possessed by a little boy named evan and a little girl named cassidy which is so genderweird of them

there are two purple guys and only one of them is actually purple: purple guy one is a murderer who killed at least six children. purple guy two is a rotting corpse who had his organs scooped out and possessed his own dead body to hunt down his father (who is purple guy one) and set him on fire twice. purple guy one is also a rotting corpse but he's in a fursuit

foxy has weird fucking genders: the foxy from the first few fnaf games is a guy and is referred to with he/him pronouns. in sister location, there's a foxy called funtime foxy, and when you select "girls night" in the custom night, they're one of the contestants. and in ultimate custom night, mangle (a really fucked up version of foxy) is referred to with he/she pronouns. this is canon and makes my gay little heart very happy

fnaf takes place in utah: fnaf takes place in utah

one of the novels had matpat mpreg: okay it's technically not matpat it's a guy named mat. however it's hilarious to say it's matpat. no this isn't a joke there was mpreg. with springtrap. i refuse to explain this

purple guy (the murderer one) might also be a yellow guy: in pizza sim there's a minigame with lore in it where you play a yellow mustard man who's a terrible father. it's theorized a lot that he may be the ourple guy because his son has grey text. no we don't know why he became yellow. he's never yellow again except when he's one of the comical amount of bunnies (there are like ten different bunnies in fnaf)

there are eight dead kids: we even know their names!

purple guy and his family are all british: in the opening cutscene to sister location, we hear the voice of one "mr. afton", who is the purple guy (the one who killed kids). he's british. throughout sister location, we hear the voice of a little girl, who is heavily theorized to be afton's daughter- elizabeth afton. one piece of evidence for this is that she is also british. and in the final cutscene of sister location, we hear the voice of someone named michael (who is the purple guy who's actually purple), talking to his father, and saying he's gonna come fucking KILL him, right before springtrap (purple guy) is shown and guess what michael's fuckin british. fnaf takes place in utah and no other characters are british. it's just the aftons.

there are three different jeremys and they all die: jeremy fitzgerald from the second game is heavily theorized to be the bite of 87 victim. one of the missing children is named jeremy and is possessing one of many bunnies. in the vr game a guy named jeremy is haunted by one of many bunnies and cuts his own face off. i personally find it hilarious to headcanon that jeremy fitzgerald is also jeremy from vr and maybe even the jeremy who got killed by william afton. especially considering the time traveling ballpit

bears are canonically extinct: in security breach, handunit mentions this in ONE LINE. it is not lore important. it is never mentioned again. objectively the funniest possible thing steel wool could've done

what the fuck is going on in fnaf: Buddy this is barely scratching the surface I haven't even talked about the child sized compartment in Circus Baby. You don't even know about the Charliebots or the Nightmare Gas. Do you even know about the Mimic. Do you have any idea what remnant is. There are ten different bunnies who are all also the same bunny. If you get into FNAF lore you will exit a changed man. Nothing here matters. There is a time travel ballpit

Anyway Cassidy isn't the Vengeful Spirit Michael is read that excellent Google Doc by @/whencartoonsruletheworld and THANK ME LATER

#cassie rambles #five nights at freddy's #fnaf

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stealingyourbones · 1 year

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Older Brother Danny Phantom

During the last year that Alfred worked as a secret intelligence officer for England, he was tasked to infiltrate and dismantle a fake ghost hunting branch of the US government. This fake branch that called themselves the Ghost Investigation Ward who was attempting to set up camp on English soil.

During his infiltration using a false identity and credentials, Alfred came across a boy named Phantom. He was the GIW’s “most prized catch”. Alfred’s heart ached as he saw the boy get hauled back to his cell day after day. With each day the boy sported more and more injuries from the GIW’s cruel “experiments”.l (Alfred knew damn well what they were doing to the boy was just short of torture and nothing more.)

Seeing the boy get hurt day in and day out, Alfred was more determined than ever to tear this place apart brick by brick. Soon enough, Alfred found enough evidence to prevent the GIWs from ever setting up camp on English soil ever again. After that, the British military invaded the place and took care of the workers while Alfred worked on freeing Dann, which the GIW’s files informed him was actually a boy named Daniel Fenton. The GIWs completely obliterated his hometown and reduced it to rubble. He had no home to return to and was expecting to just live in the ghost zone for the rest of his life. Alfred wouldn’t let that stand.

He made the rash decision to raise the boy as if he was his own. He later got hired by The Wayne’s after the butler Jarvis’s passing. Danny stayed in the manor with Alfred in the servant quarters. He wasn’t shown to the public and as far as the world knew, Alfred had no family.

Then the tragedy of The Wayne’s occurred on that fateful night. Martha and Thomas Wayne were murdered right before Bruce’s very eyes.

Danny helped Bruce learn to cope with his trauma and searched the Ghost Zone for his parents. (He came up empty handed. Bruce’s parents didn’t have a strong enough drive to become ghosts. Bruce appreciated the gesture none the less.) He and Alfred taught Bruce how to fight. He still went on his training journey all over the world but he knew a tad more before his travels than without his ghosty older brother.

Danny doesn’t really do anything as Phantom in Gotham. He’s done with fighting. The GIW capture convinced him that the only thing that would stop those bastards from hunting him was to destroy the Anti-Ecto acts and to dismantle the organization piece by piece.

Danny went to university and got a double major in computer programming and forensic science.

During the years that Bruce was away training, Danny was cracking down on the GIW and managed to successfully expose and fully dismantle the fake government organization.

Danny refused to premiere in Gotham as “Phantom”. He’s much rather leave his fighting days behind him and instead when Batman first came to the scene, he was the guy in the chair. Helping Bruce through an earpiece and assisting in putting the pieces of a crime together with the batcomputer.

He does help Bruce with the intimidation factor though. A slight spell to make him blend into the shadows a tad more than a normal person would, a small charm to make his movements seem twitchy and inhuman, a tiny incantation that made Bruce’s eyes glow a bright white, small spells to help make Batman less human and more a symbol of fear.

When the first Robin came around, Danny welcomed Dick with open arms as an uncle figure. Casting charms on Robin to let him glide and make chittering sounds that are impossible to make with human vocal cords.

He helps Jason and when the boy comes back, Danny immediately knows that something is off and collects the boy before he gets whisked away by the League of Assassins. He and Alfred teach Jason how to use a firearm at Jason’s request and non lethal rounds become Jason’s preferred weapon.

Danny positively adores Tim. He reminds Danny of himself when he was a teenager. Now in his mid to late 30’s, he recalls those years with a fondness that was definitely affected by rose tinted lenses. He takes him under his wing and teaches the boy about magic and how to integrate it into technology.

Damian instantly attaches himself to Danny the second they first make eye contact. Danny is obviously the most powerful person on the household and respects Damian in a way that surprises the boy. Danny knows Damian’s type well and he, along with Dick, help Damian adjust to the Bats code of vigilantism.

When Danny meets the League, it’s because Klarion summoned the Ghost King. Apparently The Ghost King was a Lord of Order but commonly evil aligned. They all are fearful with what’s to happen besides Batman. His shoulders relax when he hears what’s about to happen and informs the League to let Klarion finish his Ritual.

The League thinks that Batman has gone mad but Batman insists. They follow his orders and watch as Klarion calls the Lord of Infinite Realms to the mortal plane.

Danny appears in full Ghost King regalia. Danny positively radiates power in an absolutely terrifying manner. He notices Klarion and frowns. Looking around, he perks up when he notices Batman and Nightwing next to the various League members.

The League is extremely confused that this all powerful god of a being excitedly smiled and waved towards them. That confusion was nothing compared to a few moments later where the King of the Undead started talking to Batman about what was being made for dinner today. That and Tim finally managed to get the wrist portal to work. Batman is silent and simply silently nodding at the appropriate times but Nightwing is happily chatting back and forth with Danny as the Leagues jaws are on the fuckin floor.

Klarion doesn’t know what to do honestly. He thought the Ghost King was Pariah Dark, not this lanky inhuman looking figure who was sitting crisscross in the summoning circle and waving his hands animatedly to talk with Nightwing.

Klarion yells to The Ghost King to stop talking and to fight these fools. Danny then stops and the temperature drops a solid 30 degrees. He pauses for a few moments and oh so slowly turns around to Klarion. His eyes now blading with green fire, his limbs extending and gaining extra joints, his teeth growing more and more elongated and sharp. He looms over Klarion and tells him to kindly fuck off and to never talk to him, his brother, or his nephew ever again.

Klarion is fucking terrified as Danny just fully shifts into his true form and looms over the Witch Boy. Klarion hastily agrees and leaves in fear of getting fuckin evaporated by this being that is much more powerful than him.

The League is freaking out because “Nephew?!?!” “Brother?!?!” What?! How on earth was the fuckin ghost king related to Batman?

Flash asks Nightwing and Dick just smiles and goes “he was adopted” and that was that. The League sees Danny more often now. Be sometimes pops into the Watchtower to watch the stars, to help out during watch duty, to check in with the batfamily that is in the watchtower. Sure Shazam and John have an adverse reaction to Danny Initially but they eventually just accept that this all powerful ghost lord is just there to talk to his family.

#danny phantom #dc comics #dp x dc #dpxdc #writing prompts #bones writes #fic #guess who finally wrote another lil fic summary thingie :) me :)

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