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inawickedlittletown · 1 year

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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (one-shot)

Summary: Happiest Season AU.Buck is happy to go home with his boyfriend for the holidays...until he finds out that he's gonna have to pretend they're roommates the whole time, but then he meets Eddie.

Word count: 10k

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The other shoe dropped while they were on the road. Buck should have seen it coming, because of course nothing about Christmas could be easy. It never had been for Buck, and there was no reason that him actually having a long term relationship would actually change that.

“Listen,” David said and then paused. A nervous hand pushed through his blond hair that had gotten just a tad long.

He made a point of pulling off the road into a shoulder even though there were literally no other cars on the road.

“What is it?” Buck asked, warily.

David turned to completely face Buck, reaching for Buck’s hands. Buck let him take them. David’s hands were soft but strong and his nails devoid of the nail polish that often adorned them.

“David…”

“Look, I know I said that I told them about us. I, um, I didn’t. It was so hard and the timing of it all just kinda made me freak out. So I…I didn’t tell them you’re my boyfriend. Or that I’m…well, gay.”

His chest got tight and he felt like every ounce of excitement he’d been feeling since David asked him to go home with him had begun to leak out of him and fade into the air.

“What? David, you — what did you tell them about me coming with you, then?”

“I told them you were coming. They just think you’re my roommate and that you didn’t have anywhere else to go. Buck…I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. It’s just that it’s so hard and my dad’s up for re-election and this just isn’t the type of thing that helps with voters. So I couldn’t tell them. But I didn’t want you to stay back at the apartment on your own and I wanted to spend it with you. It won’t be that hard. It won’t be that bad. We’ll be together and you’ll still be meeting my family. We’ll just be pretending that we’re friends.”

What Buck couldn’t understand was why David had waited until then to tell him. He didn’t want to think about where on the road they were and how close they were to David’s parent’s house and how Buck really had no choice but to allow David to keep driving and go along with pretending they were only friends for the whole week.

“David, I don’t—”

“Buck, please,” David said and he kissed both of Buck’s hands.

As if Buck had much of a choice. So, he nodded.

It wasn’t even about David not being out to his parents. It was more that he had told Buck he was and that his parents had responded really well and that they were excited about David having a boyfriend, excited enough to want to meet him. It was all lies. And Buck had to rearrange all his expectations for their Christmas which did leave him disappointed.

“It will be okay,” David said. “You’ll see. We’ll have a fun time and my family will get to know you and when I do tell them they will have already met you and it will be better. But for now just…can you do this for me?”

“Okay,” Buck said. “Sure.”

There was very little else that Buck could have said. He couldn’t force his boyfriend to come out and he couldn’t just demand to go home. And in some ways, Buck could understand. Coming out was something that could only be done when you were ready and while David was out to everyone back in LA, it was clear that there were some hang ups when it came to his family and Buck could understand that. It wasn’t like his own parents had had a good reaction when Buck told them he wasn’t straight.

The rest of the drive was silent and Buck could only gasp when they arrived because even though he’d been aware that David came from money, he still hadn’t expected the huge — almost could be considered a mansion — house.

“You grew up here?” Buck asked.

David gave a nod as he parked and then they were out of the car and getting their bags. The front door opened before they had closed the trunk of the car and Buck spotted an older woman that could only be David’s mother. When they made it to her, she immediately hugged David. David then was pulled into a hug by his father and then his sister. And meanwhile, Buck stood on the landing with his bag in one hand and David’s bag at his feet.

“You must be David’s roommate,” the sister said. “I’m Luanne, David’s sister.”

“Oh!” David said. “Right. Mom, dad, this is Evan Buckley, my roommate.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Evan. David told us you don’t have any family to spend the holidays with and we’re happy to have you.” She offered him a hand to shake and Buck took it.

“Thank you for having me Mrs. Reid.”

“Call me Emily,” she said. “And this is Charles.” She gestured at David’s father who merely nodded and walked away distracted by his phone. It didn’t seem to phase Emily at all.

When David had first told Buck about going home to his parents, Buck had been picturing a week to spend bonding with his boyfriend’s family and getting to know the people that he hoped would become family for him as well. Instead, he felt a bit of an outlier. As they continued into the house, he was amazed by the decor and the way that everything seemed meticulous. Had professionals decorated the house? It was a real possibility.

“Well, go on and settle in, honey,” Emily said to David. “I’ll take your friend down to where he’ll be staying.”

David didn’t even look at Buck. He just grabbed his bag and then he was halfway up the stairs and Buck was left with Emily and Luanne. He tried to smile at them, but it probably came out awkward and over eager.

Emily took him to the kitchen and from there down the stairs to what was clearly a finished basement. There was exercise equipment and storage boxes and then through an open door a bedroom.

“I figured you’d feel better down here away from everyone. Bathroom is through that door and I put fresh linens in there. We’ll leave for dinner at six, we’ll meet on the foyer. Now, I have a lot to get done. But it was nice to meet you, Evan.”

Luanne lingered a moment longer. “I’m really sorry about your family,” she said. “For your loss, I mean.”

“Oh. I — thanks.”

Had David told his family that Buck’s family was dead? Was that his explanation for why he’d brought Buck home? Buck’s parents weren’t in fact dead, Buck just hadn’t talked to them for years. It wasn’t even to do with his sexuality, as much as to do with how little they seemed to value him at all. Once he left home, he hadn’t seen a real reason to look back and his parents hadn’t exactly reached out either. And then there was his sister, Maddie. He hadn’t heard from her in a while. Before leaving, he’d mailed her the usual Christmas post-card, but had no hope for a response.

As soon as he heard Luanne head upstairs, he sunk into the mattress. It was firm and comfortable, so at least he’d have a good night sleep even if it was going to be on his own.

His phone vibrated in his pocket.

David: See not that bad right?

Buck didn’t respond. He groaned into a pillow instead.

David showed up an hour after they arrived, freshly showered and changed. Buck hadn’t really moved from the bed since arriving, but he sat up when he saw David.

“I didn’t think she’d put you down here,” he said. “But it is nice and private.”

“Oh?”

David reached for him, and Buck let himself be pulled into David’s space, to feel their breaths mingle before their lips met. And for a few moments, he remembered that David was still his boyfriend and that once the week was over things would go back to normal. A little pretending wouldn’t hurt and it wasn’t like friends couldn’t be close.

They kissed for a little while, until David decided to start unpacking for Buck and then told Buck he better change for dinner.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Buck said.

The way David looked at him made him reconsider.

It was that night at dinner that made Buck certain the week would be long and hard. He did change into other clothes and he made a bit of effort by fixing his hair. By six they were on the road to the restaurant and while Buck had been hoping to ride on his own with David, instead the two of them sat on either side of Luanne in the backseat of the Reids’ Land Rover.

Luanne kept up conversation and no one in the car seemed to pay her any mind, so Buck listened and responded even when he didn’t know what to say. David was too busy on his phone to say much of anything as was his mother.

When they arrived, David was pulled into conversation by his father and so Buck walked behind them in silence. At the restaurant they were met up by David’s older brother, Tom and his wife, Rita — neither of whom seemed to even notice Buck even when introduced directly. Buck didn’t mind it. What he did mind was that when he was going to sit, Emily suddenly insisted that he had to sit between her and Luanne instead of next to David. It became clear a moment later when a woman arrived.

“So sorry, I ran a little late,” she said and threw her thick curls behind her shoulder.

“Taylor!” David said.

She was beautiful. Alabaster skin that seemed to not have any blemishes, red hair that had been curled perfectly, and a nice smile.

David was hugging her and then she was embraced by Emily and Charles. Even Luanne waved. Tom kissed her cheek and Rita did the same. And then Taylor took the seat that should have been Buck’s. He learned who she was over the next twenty minutes. David’s ex-girlfriend. His high school sweetheart. His first love. It was also absolutely clear that Emily had invited her for a reason and that reason was David’s smiles directed at her and David’s laughter as they chit chatted while Buck sat miserable and silent. Even Luanne seemed more inclined to try and get Taylor’s attention than talk to Buck.

Halfway through, Buck got up and left for the bathroom. He didn’t need to use the bathroom, but he needed the moment to take a breath. Worse than the pretending was that Buck was starting to notice things that reminded him of his own parents and what it had been like to grow up in a family that cared so much about appearances to the detriment of everything and everyone else.

He saw the way that Emily and Charles said hello to other people at the restaurant, noticed that their table was in the view of most everyone. And then there was Taylor.

Buck had heard about Taylor even if he never met her and seeing them together gave him pause. Was David really gay? Or was he bisexual? Sexuality was such a spectrum and while David had told Buck that he’d really only been with her because he couldn’t be out, they had a long history. But history aside, they’d looked like a couple the whole night.

Buck stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. He leaned forward to stare at his own eyes. Was it a mistake to stick through it. After one day he was already feeling like maybe it would be more draining than he’d considered. After all, he was basically on his own as an interloper to David hanging out with his family. And David had sort of shoved him back into his own closet which left Buck a tad uncomfortable.

“Buck,” David said.

Buck was startled to find David behind him, putting his hands on Buck’s shoulders.

“Hey, you’ve been gone a while,” David said. “Everything okay?”

“Uh, I don’t know. It’s just a little weird, you know.”

David hung his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know she was going to invite Taylor. But you’ll like her. I know you will. Come on, let’s just head back before my mom wonders where we went.”

“David, I just…” Buck trailed off.

David wrapped his arms around Buck and suddenly it was as if none of it really mattered. The thing was that they were good. He and David had been together for a little over a year and it was one of the first relationships that Buck had felt comfortable in. So much so that he’d taken the step to move in with David. Things were good. Buck had been aware that David wasn’t fully out to his family — it was one of the things they had talked about early on. Then a few months ago David had gone home for a week and come back to tell Buck that he’d told his parents and that they had taken it really well.

“Never mind,” Buck said when the door to the bathroom opened.

The man that walked in was gorgeous. No debate needed to come to that conclusion, because he just was. His attention wasn’t on them, though, and instead on ushering in a child. It gave Buck a bit of time to actually look at him. His plump lips were turned up into a smile and his brown eyes shone as he looked at his son. His hair was kept short, but it suited him. He definitely took care of his body considering how muscular his arms were, but also his lean chest.

The child walked with the aid of forearm crutches, but he did it deftly and quick as he made it into the bathroom and headed right to the handicap stall. His father only then noticed them and he froze, smile falling before he shook it off.

“Hi, David,” he said.

“Eddie,” David said. “I didn’t know you were back in town.”

“My parents insisted I bring my son here this year,” he said.

It was only then that Buck noticed that David had somehow moved a foot away from him, had stopped touching him altogether.

“Oh,” David said and then remembering Buck. “This is my roommate.”

Eddie nodded. “Nice to meet you—”

“Buck,” Buck said.

They heard the toilet flush and then the door to the stall opened. Buck moved out of the way of the sink and Eddie gave him a grateful smile.

“We should…we should get back,” David said.

“I actually do have to use the bathroom, so I’ll be a minute,” Buck said, not sure exactly why he was compelled to stay.

“Yeah. Okay,” David said and he just walked off.

After the door closed, Buck took a step towards a stall and he heard Eddie chuckle.

“Been there,” Eddie said.

Buck turned to face him. “What was that?”

“Oh, well, I guess I just know how you feel is all,” Eddie said and then he shrugged. His son seemed to be done at the sink and then he was drying his hands. Eddie gave him a final nod before he walked out.

The next morning, Buck arrived in the kitchen fully dressed to find David in the middle of stirring sugar into his coffee. Luanne was eating a bowl of oatmeal and meanwhile Emily was listing everything that still needed to be done.

“For what?” Buck asked.

“Oh, our Christmas party,” Emily said, eyeing him as if he should have already known.

“I forgot to mention it,” David said and shot a smile Buck’s way.

Emily jumped back into assigning tasks. From the sound of it, the party was a big deal. From everything that it seemed to involve, Buck almost thought that they were dealing with a wedding rather than a Christmas party. Then again, it made sense considering Charles Reid was in politics and Emily was some kind of socialite. Perception mattered. It mattered enough for their son to feel like he couldn’t come out to them.

And so, they spent the day running errands. At least for a part of it it was just him and David. What Buck wasn’t used to was that David walked about a foot away from him and didn’t touch him once. It was the opposite of back home where David’s arm was always thrown over his shoulders or their hands were linked.

They were on Main St. walking to the liquor store from the car when Buck spotted the curly haired boy and Eddie. They had been joined by an older woman that was making the little boy laugh.

“So you went to school with him,” Buck said motioning to Eddie.

David nodded. “Yup. He, um, got a girl pregnant our senior year. Hence the kid.”

“But she’s not here with them?” Buck asked, curious.

“No. I don’t know the full story. I think they were gonna get married or did…either way, it didn’t work out.”

Eddie’s eye caught Buck’s and Buck couldn’t help but admire the smile that was shot at him. Somehow, there was something like solidarity in that gaze.

They made it back to the house for dinner. At least this time they were eating in and Buck could actually take the seat next to David at the table. It didn’t make it any less awkward, especially when David pointedly didn’t touch Buck once. When it was over, Buck found himself back in the basement bedroom, glad that at least he’d gotten Luanne to give him the wifi password so at least he could use his tablet and lose himself in some distraction or another. Something led him to David’s Instagram and then to Taylor’s because of course they still followed each other. Buck also found Eddie. Eddie Diaz.

Unlike David who barely used social media, Taylor seemed to post several times a day. Selfies, pictures of food or a pretty sunset. Even pictures of her coffee. Eddie’s was more wholesome.

Eddie seemed to post very few pictures of himself, unless they involved his son or other members of his family. A woman that must have been his grandmother, and an older couple that had to be his parents. But none of anyone that could have been his wife or the mother of his son. Buck did find a shot of Eddie from the back clearly wearing an LAFD t-shirt. He was a firefighter and lived in LA. That gave Buck pause. How had he never come across Eddie before? Nothing about the picture gave away what firehouse he belonged to, but if they were both in LA, surely they had worked on the same call at some point.

He looked up to a knock on his doorframe. David smiled at him.

“Hey,” he said. “What are you up to?”

Feeling just a tad guilty, he shrugged. “Nothing much.”

“Well, I was thinking that after my parents go to bed, I can sneak down here. Stay the night.” David bit his lip and wiggled his eyebrows. It made him look silly more than anything, but Buck also thought it was endearing.

“Sure. If you can do it.”

“I can,” David said and winked. “I promised I’d help mom with a few more things. But see you later, handsome.”

And then Buck was alone again. He lost himself to Youtube for a few hours and then managed to message with some friends from LA. He’d taken a shower while listening to a podcast and gotten ready for bed by the time David texted.

David: Gonna try and come down soon. Lu is still up.

Soon was almost two hours later. Buck was reading in bed when David finally made it and a look at his phone told him it was well past midnight.

“Hey,” David said.

Buck put his ipad down. “Hey.”

David slid into bed with him, pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Buck didn’t respond, because he wasn’t actually glad to be there. It had been two days and neither had been particularly enjoyable. When David kissed him as if in the start of something more than kissing, he pulled back.

“Uh, we’re in your parents’ house.”

“What?” David asked.

Buck didn’t know where it was coming from — the uncomfortable feeling about kissing his own boyfriend. Maybe it was because they could only do it away from prying eyes while everyone else in the house thought they were in their own bedrooms.

Still, when David kissed him again, he leaned into it. He pretended that they were back home at their apartment and that everything was good. Normal. Buck had never been shy about sex, had had sex in so many inappropriate places over the years. Giving a blowjob to his boyfriend in his boyfriend’s parents’ basement was far more normal than some other circumstances. But what was abnormal for them was when David got up and re-dressed and kissed Buck but didn’t get back in bed.

“David, aren’t you—”

“Oh, no, I can’t sleep down here. Mom wakes up pretty early. See you tomorrow.”

There was no “I love you” or even a lingering moment for them to just talk. Buck felt used and left behind as if he’d been no more than just a quick romp in the sheets. It left him with a horrible taste in his mouth and sleep didn’t come easily.

The next day, David was too busy with his mom to hang out with Buck. He was gone before Buck had even appeared from the basement. So, Buck ended up tagging along with Luanne on the few things she had to do for the party. It was also when Buck learned that it wasn’t just the Christmas party that was making the family crazy. There was apparently a campaign fundraiser for Charles happening that night.

“Oh,” Buck said. “David didn’t say anything about it.”

Luanne just shrugged.

It was from Luanne that Buck learned exactly who his boyfriend’s father was. He was a Republican Senator and his re-election according to the polls wasn’t all that likely. Buck, who was a researcher and who read up on things had somehow failed to look up Charles Reid and so when Luanne was busy, he did finally google him and saw pretty quickly that while he wasn’t as bad as Ted Cruz or some of the others, there was no denying that David’s father held some similar values.

Luanne took him to a cafe for lunch and Buck caught another sight of Eddie. He was waiting for his order, eyes on his phone, but occasionally looking over to a table where his son was situated. After he and Luanne placed their own orders, Buck moved to stand next to Eddie.

“Hey,” he said.

Eddie looked up from his phone and grinned. “Oh. Hi. You here alone? No David?”

“With Luanne,” Buck said.

Luanne was on the phone, nodding along to whatever was being told to her.

“So, I, um, I wanted to ask what you meant the other night about knowing how I felt,” Buck said.

“Oh,” Eddie said. “Well, I meant that I know what it’s like to be David’s dirty little secret.”

Buck couldn’t help but think back to when he’d casually asked David about Eddie and how quick David had been to jump at telling him about why Eddie was a father rather than the more important detail that David and Eddie had dated.

“He never told me you two dated,” Buck said.

Eddie ducked his head. “Maybe you should ask him about it.”

Eddie’s name was called for his order just as Luanne returned from her phone call. She looked harried. Buck didn’t know her very well, but she had the same pinched look that David got whenever he was letting stress get to him.

“What is it?” Buck asked.

She shook her head and smiled. “Nothing. Mom being mom. She’s added to our list.”

Buck should have expected as much. He caught Eddie’s eye as Eddie was taking his seat across from his son.

Luanne went to grab their food and Buck led her to the table next to Eddie’s.

“Hi, Eddie,” Luanne said. “Will we see you tonight?”

Eddie’s laugh was almost a snort. “No. I don’t think so.”

“Oh,” Luanne said.

“I have other plans. Abuela is watching Chris, and I don’t get many nights to myself and I rather not go to a fundraiser.”

“Your parents should be there, though, right?” Luanne asked.

Eddie shrugged his shoulders in a non-committal way.

When he did see David again late that afternoon, David winced when Buck brought up the fundraiser.

“I, um, meant to tell you,” he said.

“You mean to tell me a lot of things,” Buck pointed out.

“Well, anyway, I wasn’t expecting you to come. Probably better if you don’t, honestly. You can just hang out here and maybe after it’s all over we can chill. Mom and dad are usually out a little later so you can be up in my bedroom and no one will know.”

And he would send Buck away so he wasn’t there in the morning. A secret. And it would always be a secret, even if David told his parents. They struck Buck like the types to take the information and be okay with it — accepting of David and who he was. It was just that they probably wouldn’t want anyone else to know and for David to be discreet to the point of hiding.

“I was thinking maybe I’ll go out tonight,” Buck said. “Walk around town and see if there’s anything interesting.

David pursed his lips, but he nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

“It sounds better than hanging out here on my own,” Buck said. “Luanne and I ran into Eddie. You two dated?”

David’s eyes widened. “Uh. Is that what he said?”

“Kind of implied it, I guess,” Buck said.

David pursed his lips. “Yes. Briefly in 10th grade. He was kinda obsessed with me and I was figuring things out. It didn’t work out.”

“Right,” Buck said.

David then insisted he had to start getting ready.

Buck ended up setting out on his own before everyone else took off for the fundraiser. The walk was nice and it gave him some time to think. Buck was always a bit go with the flow, allowing life to lead him where it would. It was sort of what had happened with him and David — they had been friends and then just sort of fallen into a relationship. One that Buck had thought was going really really well until a few days earlier.

It was one of the longest relationships that Buck had had, and he’d been comfortable in it. He was realizing that maybe there was more he hadn’t noticed by being in the bubble of them together. He was seeing a different David entirely since they’d arrived.

“Buck!”

Buck turned, looking for the voice calling for him, but he didn’t see anyone.

“Buck!”

The call came from a car. Eddie stuck his head out the window and waved at him. Buck walked over.

“Hey,” he said.

“Do you need a ride somewhere?” Eddie asked.

“Uh, I was gonna walk into town.”

Eddie looked confused. “I figured you’d be heading to the house to head out to the fundraiser.”

Buck laughed. “Yeah. No. I wouldn’t have attended even if David had told me about it in the first place. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not that interested in politics so I had no idea who his father was.”

“This has been a rough Christmas for you,” Eddie said. “Will you get in? As it is, I’m heading to town.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Buck was aware that he should have said no for reasons that he didn’t want to think about. But, he got in anyway.

“I asked David about the two of you,” Buck said without preamble.

“Oh. And?”

“And, he was evasive and brushed it off. So, now I want to know what really happened.”

“So I would tell you the truth while your boyfriend doesn’t,” Eddie said and then he pulled away from the curb and began driving towards town.

Buck sighed. He knew what it sounded like. He knew that there were glaring problems between him and David.

“I don’t think I knew him that well,” Buck said. “Or…I guess I know a different side to him.”

“How did you meet?”

It had happened at a bar. Buck hadn’t been looking to take anyone home, but he’d been out for a few drinks with the plan to head home and get caught up on whatever show he’d been in the middle of. Buck had noticed him, but it was David that approached and then they’d just talked for a bit until one or both of them suggested leaving and that had been that. He told Eddie a quick summary.

“He never hid that he wasn’t out to his family,” Buck added. “But then a few months ago he told me he wanted to tell them and he came out to see them. Turned out he didn’t tell them — but instead of admitting that, he lied and said he had. It felt like such a big step to be coming to his home and being introduced to them.”

Eddie was quiet for a moment. “When did you find out he wasn’t out?”

“On the drive,” Buck said.

“Well, that’s an asshole move,” Eddie said and winced. “Sorry. You know what, if we’re going to revisit my high school trauma we’ll need a strong drink.”

They made it to a bar and Eddie said something to the person at the door which got them to a booth in the middle of the room. It was only once beer bottles had been fetched, that Eddie looked ready to talk.

“I’ve known David pretty much my whole life and because my parents were always invited to their Christmas party we were friendly enough. You see someone enough, you just get used to them. He was always pretty popular, but as we started high school, we started to hang out a bit more and one day I kinda noticed that I was staring at him more and admiring him more. By that point I had been questioning things about myself and when David kissed me for the first time it pretty much cemented that I liked guys.”

“He made the first move,” Buck said and he took a sip of his beer.

Eddie almost looked apologetic. “Yeah. Anyway, we were both kind of afraid of anyone finding out so it was a secret. That was on both of us. It was months and months of planning out how to meet up and having dates. He was my first love. And I guess we started to get reckless.”

Buck could tell pretty quickly that Eddie was getting emotional. He watched as Eddie finished up his beer and then he got up to get them both second bottles.

“What happened?” Buck asked.

“It was some anniversary,” Eddie said. “You know, like two or three months of us being together or something. I thought it’d be nice if I snuck a card into his locker. Didn’t know someone was watching.”

“No,” Buck said.

“I didn’t know that some of his friends knew his locker combination. They opened it and took my card. I said some embarrassing things on there, and luckily — or maybe not luckily — I didn’t write about our anniversary. Just something about how good he looked that day and how much I wanted to kiss him. And I guess in that situation you want your boyfriend to protect you. To protect what you have.”

“He didn’t,” Buck said and told himself that that was teenage David and not the David he knew now.

Eddie’s smile was sad, but he met Buck’s eyes apologetically. “He told them I was obsessed, that it wasn’t the first note and that he’d tried to turn me down. He made a big deal about how annoyed he was about it and didn’t care how it ripped my heart in two. He ripped up the card right there and then.”

“Oh, Eddie. That’s horrible,” Buck said and instinct had him reach to cover Eddie’s hand with his.

“It was,” Eddie said. “Especially since it spread all over the school. It got back to my parents. My Abuela. He just outed me as if it meant nothing. And then he tried to keep being with me — told me he saved us a bunch of trouble, but he only looks out for himself. He jumped at the chance to date Taylor after that and I stayed far away.”

Unsaid was that it was happening all over again. Or maybe it wasn’t and David was going to come clean. Buck doubted it.

He and Eddie drank in silence for a while. The music from the jukebox formed a nice atmosphere.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said eventually. “I didn’t want to say anything but—

“But you get what I’m going through. Sort of.”

“Sort of.”

They finished their next beers and then someone was stepping up at the stage situated at one end of the bar. Buck hadn’t noticed it when they first walked in. The woman up at the stage smiled at them and then announced the start of Karaoke.

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “Up for it?”

“Uh. No. Definitely not. What, are you signing up?”

Eddie shrugged. “I’ll sing if you sing.”

Buck shook his head. “Not drunk enough for that.”

“Easily fixed,” Eddie said. “Hey, I’ll get us started.”

He brought shots back from the bar and they clinked the glasses before downing them. Buck welcomed the sting of the alcohol as it hit the back of his throat. He didn’t think anything would want to make him get up and actually sing, though.

“So, I heard you’re from LA?” Buck asked.

Eddie nodded. “Moved over there a while ago. I’m a firefighter.”

“Me too,” Buck said.

“What? Seriously?” Eddie said.

Buck nodded. “I’m from the 118. You?”

“136,” Eddie said. “I actually almost joined the 118. That’s crazy. Small world.”

Their conversation flowed away from David and the uneasy way that Buck was feeling about their relationship. They talked about work for a while — their wildest calls and how much they both enjoyed their jobs. He got to hear about Eddie’s son and Buck wanted to meet him officially because thus far he’d only seen him a few times and it was clear that Eddie adored him. He loved the look that Eddie got when his son’s name came up.

“How does David feel about you being a firefighter?” Eddie asked eventually, and the way he looked at Buck told him he already had an idea.

“He finds my schedule inconvenient,” Buck said. “And I don’t think he appreciates what I do.”

Eddie had finally persuaded him to get a look at the song list, when Buck’s phone rang.

David

“I should pick up,” Buck said.

Eddie nodded, lips pressed tight and then he smirked. “I’m picking a song for you.”

“I haven’t said yes to singing.”

Eddie shrugged. “I’m still picking a song.”

The phone vibrated in his hand and it was a choice between picking up and making sure Eddie didn’t pick something embarrassing. It felt like a bigger choice.

He answered the phone and stepped towards the door so he could hear better.

“Hey,” David said.

“Hey,” Buck said back. “Aren’t you at the fundraiser?”

“Yeah…they just don’t expect us to stay here long. So I’m catching up with some friends for school and we’re gonna head out to get a drink if you want to join us. You can meet the gang.”

Hadn’t David promised to hang out with Buck at the house while his parents were out? And also unsaid was that Buck would be meeting Davud’s friends as his roommate and as a friend. Nothing more. Buck hated himself for it a bit, but he knew he had to go and see how it would go. David was still his boyfriend and it didn’t matter that he’d been far happier hanging out with Eddie.

“Where are you going?” Buck asked.

“I’ll send my location when we get there,” David said.

It was something they did all the time back home, but it suddenly made him feel like an afterthought.

When he got back to the table, Eddie’s face visibly fell.

“You’re leaving,” Eddie said.

“I’m sorry. I have to go meet up with David.”

Eddie nodded. “I get I’m just some guy you just met, but as much as I’d like to say that David changed since high school, I don’t see it. Be careful.”

“I will.”

On impulse, he hugged Eddie, taking in the smell of his aftershave — something minty — and trying not to linger on the way that Eddie’s arms were strong and his chest was warm or how Buck kinda wanted nothing more than to stay in his embrace.

It was ten minutes in and Buck wished he’d stayed back with Eddie. David had sent him the location to a bar, not the warm and welcoming kind like the one he’d been at with Eddie, but instead more upscale and the drinks were definitely more expensive. David’s friends were far more interested in talking to each other and David than in Buck. He was just David’s roommate after all. What did he matter? To make it all worse, Taylor was there ignoring Buck just as well as the others. Buck should have stayed with Eddie.

Another ten minutes later and Buck excused himself to the bathroom. He wanted nothing more than to text Eddie, but it felt like a heavy way to reach out for the first time. David, he noted, didn’t follow him this time.

When he returned and after he finished his beer and passed on shots, he tapped David’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna go.”

“What? No. Buck, don’t just leave. I haven’t seen you all day.”

Buck didn’t mention how that wasn’t Buck’s fault. Instead he went with: “I’m not having fun. I thought I’d get to actually hang out with you tonight, but that’s not happening so I’m just going to—”

He got cut off. David grabbed his shoulder. “Buck, you know it can’t be like back home. You know that, right? We have to keep up appearances.”

Buck had no idea how to respond. What he did know was that he wasn’t shocked.

“I’ll see at your parents’ house,” Buck said.

David didn’t try to stop him and when Buck looked back, he was at Taylor’s side and they were talking with their heads close together. He watched them laugh, watched Taylor lean into David and David not care one bit how close they were standing or how much they were touching.

Buck got an uber back to the house and he texted David to let him know he’d made it back. Got no response which was the opposite of what it would have been like back home. He texted again, asking David to let him know when he’d made it back to the house. Again, no response. He stopped himself from calling Eddie to talk about it. All night he tossed and turned, especially when David still hadn’t responded hours later.

When sleep really didn’t come, he picked up his phone.

Buck: Sorry if I’m waking you up. And I don’t want to bother you, so don’t feel like you have to respond. I guess I just have no one else to talk to here. And I’m really sorry I left tonight. I should have stayed and sang with you. I would have enjoyed myself a lot more. Instead, I got to watch David ignore me while he and his friends kept getting drunker. I don’t even think he’s home yet.

Buck: I’m really thinking about just going home. It’s kinda sad that the best parts of this trip have happened with you and not David.

Buck: I am so glad I met you and I can’t wait to meet your kid someday because he sounds awesome and the way you talk about him makes me so sure you’re a really good dad.

Buck: And I know that David should be the one apologizing to you for what he did when you were teenagers, but I am so sorry you went through that and that he outed you like that. No one should go through that.

Buck: Sorry again…to blow up your phone. I just — I guess I can’t sleep and short of calling any of my friends in LA, you felt like the best option. They don’t know what I got myself into. Feel free to ignore me. Just know you’ve been a really good friend and I’d like to keep that going.

He fell asleep sometime after that and woke up the next morning when his phone vibrated. Eddie was calling. Buck panicked for a moment, but he picked up after it rang a couple more times.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hey,” Eddie said. “I kinda got the impression you wanted to talk.”

Buck laughed. He heard Eddie laugh too.

“Sorry,” Buck said. “I think I was a little tipsy and definitely sleep deprived. And I really do wish I had stayed with you last night. How was it?”

“It was alright. Better when you were still there.”

Buck thought his heart skipped a beat. He had to fight hard to remind himself he had a boyfriend.

Eddie told him a little about what Buck had missed and then he asked about why Buck hadn’t told any of his friends what was going on.

“Well, at first I thought it was like airing our dirty laundry. Hen never really liked David and Chim always said he did, but I think he agreed with Hen more. And then my Captain — Bobby — he’s always been supportive. He gave me the week off, even though I should have been working. I kinda wish now that he’d fought me about it.”

“But you probably had a bunch of unused PTO,” Eddie supplied.

Buck sighed. “Yeah and I guess they thought this would make me happy. I thought so too. Now I’m thinking I’ll be heading back early and just…I guess I don’t want to admit it to them so soon yet especially because I don’t even know if I want to break up with him or not.”

“Right,” Eddie said.

The problem lay in how different things were when they were in LA. Somehow, though, Buck had to imagine that this would change everything for them, especially if Buck was going to be expected to remain the roommate forever.

“You do what you think is best,” Eddie said. “We’ll be at the party tonight, but if we don’t see each other before you leave, then I will be back in LA on New Years Day. But right now I have a hungry kid that needs breakfast.”

Buck was also hungry. So, he headed up to the kitchen and helped himself to toast and coffee.

“David’s still sleeping,” Luanne informed him when she entered the kitchen.

“He was out late with his friends,” Buck said. “Maybe I’ll bring him coffee.”

Luanne opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but she closed it and seemed to be getting ingredients ready to make cookie dough. Buck left her to it. He prepared a mug adding the right amount of cream and sugar and took it up the stairs. He knocked on the door before pushing it open and immediately regretting not waiting for David to call him in.

David was in bed and he wasn’t alone.

Red hair peaked out from the duvet, a familiar curl that Buck recognized at once. David laid next to Taylor, turned away from her but still there in the same bed. And maybe she had just crashed for the night, or there was a different explanation, but Buck was uninterested because David had chosen to go out with his friends instead of being with Buck and he had chosen to not answer any of Buck’s texts.

Buck could feel his heart break. He backed away, coffee held in a tight knuckled grip. He bumped the door and he saw David move.

“Buck,” he said in his sleepy morning hoarse voice.

He wasn’t looking at Buck though, his eyes were closed and he was turning towards Taylor and maybe in his mind he thought it was Buck, but he seemed to realize it wasn’t when he sat up and his eyes widened before finally turning to the door and to Buck.

“Buck,” David said again and this time it was pained and surprised and filled with a plea.

David scrambled out of bed fully dressed and he reached the door where Buck was frozen.

“This is not what it looks like,” David said.

“Somehow, I think that’s the least of our problems,” Buck said. “I’m — I think I’m gonna go back home.”

“What? Buck, no. Please. Please don’t.”

Buck looked back at him and what he saw was something that resembled Buck’s own feelings when he’d walked into the room to find his boyfriend with a woman in his bed. So, Buck just kept walking and a part of him expected for David to not follow because of what it might look like to anyone in the family that saw them. In fact, Buck passed Rita and Tom at the stairs and David still followed.

“What’s happening?” Tom asked.

David ignored him.

Buck dropped off the coffee in the kitchen and Luanne glanced at him and then at David, but Buck continued on down to the basement. David followed, ignoring whatever his sister had said to him.

“What do you want, David?” Buck asked.

David didn’t answer for a pause. “Stay. Just please stay. It’s the party tonight and I want you there. I want you there with me. I — this is hard. You know it’s hard for me. I’ll tell them, though. I’ll tell them for you. I will. Please, Buck.”

The thing was that it wasn’t going to fix things. Not really. Maybe not at all.

“It’s more than about just that, David, and I can’t ask you to do that for me if you’re not willing to do it for yourself.”

“But stay,” David said. “Please.”

Something about the way David said it made Buck sigh. “Fine. Fine, I guess I can do that.”

Buck had no idea how David explained things to Luanne or to Tom, but by the time the party was on its way and people were arriving, Buck had only gotten a sidelong glance from Luanne and Tom had been too busy with helping Charles and Emily with the party. Buck kept himself out of the way, helping when asked but mostly just sitting off to the side and greeting anyone that came near him.

Eddie arrived with his parents, abuela, and Christopher, Buck brightened up at seeing them, especially when Eddie saw him and smiled his way. It took a little while, but eventually Eddie appeared at his side.

“Hey,” Eddie said.

“Hi,” Buck replied back.

“You’re still here.”

“I don’t know if I’m regretting staying or not,” Buck said and then because Eddie already knew it all he told him about Taylor in David’s bed that morning.

“Wow,” Eddie said.

“Yeah. She even stayed for breakfast before leaving,” Buck said.

It had sort of stung to see Taylor in the kitchen eating with David and Buck had had to talk himself into staying for the party. It helped that David had apologized after she left and yet when Taylor turned up at the party early to help it had apparently been more appreciated than the help Buck offered.

At the moment Taylor and David were surrounded by their friends at one end of the room. David hadn’t even looked at Buck once and Buck just had to wonder about why David had been so insistent on him staying.

“And now he’s ignoring you again,” Eddie said. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Buck said, surprising himself. “I think I really needed to see it to realize how this isn’t working at all.”

Eddie placed his hand on Buck’s and gave it a squeeze. At that moment, Christopher came running over. Buck watched as he said something to his dad and then he was off again, headed towards where some of the other kids were.

“At least one of us is having fun,” Buck said.

“My kid always has fun,” Eddie said fondly.

They talked for a while, Eddie telling him about how this was the first time they’d come to the Christmas party in a few years.

“My parents usually come to see me and Chris, but we came out this time instead. They’re remodeling the station so we all got a few weeks off. I was — well, I wasn’t going to bother but then I thought maybe you’d still be here so I came.”

He could see the blush on Eddie’s cheeks and he felt warm as he stared at him.

“Buck, can you come here,” David said. He looked annoyed.

Buck looked to Eddie and then he stood up and followed David through the kitchen and outside.

“What was that?” David asked.

“What was what?” Buck asked.

“You and Eddie looking all chummy and whatever. What is that?”

Buck stared at him for a long while. “Are you jealous?”

“Jealous! No. No, I’m not jealous. I just don’t get it — he’s the guy that was literally obsessed with me in high school and you’re hanging all over him as if you want my family to figure out that you’re gay.”

“I am gay,” Buck said easily. “It doesn’t matter if your family knows or not. I don’t care. And he told me what happened back then. What you did to him.”

David seemed to lose all his color. “I don’t know what he said, but I did the right thing. I did what I had to.”

“Look, I stayed because you begged me to. Not so that you could have me here but keep pretending that you’re straight while I sit in a corner. Did you want me not to talk to anyone because thus far Eddie has been the only welcoming person here because you can’t even treat me like a friend in case anyone guesses who I really am to you.”

Someone gasped. When they turned they found Luanne, eyes wide.

In the next moment she was running into the house. David gave chase. Buck followed.

The next few minutes were crazy. Luanne was trying to get to Emily and Buck couldn’t imagine why she would want to out her brother. David was trying to stop her. Buck watched as they somehow managed to topple the tree. Everyone seemed to stop. When Buck’s eyes met Eddie’s he found wide eyes and then Eddie was checking on everyone close to the tree while Buck unplugged the lights.

Cutting through all of it was Luanne’s voice. “He’s gay! David’s gay!”

“Lu, why would you tell such lies about your brother? Stop all of this at once,” Emily said.

“But he is. He is and so is Buck. Buck isn’t his roommate, he’s his boyfriend,” Luanne said.

David laughed. “That’s really funny, Lu. I’m not — I’m not gay. Buck is, but I’m not.”

“Buck,” Eddie said in a whisper as Buck stepped out from behind the tree. He could feel all eyes on him.

Buck shook his head. “I think it’s time I leave,” he said to no one in particular.

Eddie followed him down to the basement.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said.

Buck just grabbed his bag and started packing. Eddie helped. When David appeared, Eddie looked to Buck as Buck sighed with a nod, so Eddie stepped out. Buck noted that he didn’t leave the basement.

“Buck,” David said.

“I think you should stay here for another week so I have time to get all my things and move,” Buck said.

“No. Please, Buck, you can’t—”

“I can’t be a secret and to be honest, I’ve seen a whole other side to you. I’m gonna go.”

He grabbed his bag and left the room. David didn’t even try to stop him. Eddie offered a tight smile and they walked back upstairs.

“You can stay with us tonight,” Eddie said. “Chris and I were going to head back to LA after presents and you’re welcome to join us.”

Buck could only nod.

The Diaz house was smaller, but there was something cozy and warm about it. Ramon and Helena were happy to have Buck stay even if all they could offer was the couch. Buck didn’t mind. He didn’t think he’d be sleeping all that much anyway.

“I’m so sorry that happened tonight,” Helena said.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Not yours either,” Ramon said.

“Mostly just David’s,” Eddie added and then his mom grabbed Christopher’s hand.

Christopher had only seen part of the insanity, but he was the kind of kid that was just sort of chill. Buck had gotten to talk to him on the ride over to the Diaz house and learned that Christopher was in some kind of dinosaur phase, so Buck broke out all the facts he knew.

“I’ll put him to bed,” Helena insisted.

“Mom, I can—”

“No, no. Get Buck settled. Your abuela and I will deal with my little angel. I don’t see him enough as it is and tonight’s the last night you’re here.”

Eddie watched them go and then he turned to Buck. “Want a drink?”

“Uh, yeah,” Buck said.

They didn’t really talk about it, other than Buck confirming that it was definitely over and that he was going to start packing and looking for a place to live as soon as they were back in LA.

“Well, if you can’t find a place, you can stay with me. Unless that’s weird.”

“Not weird. Thank you,” Buck said.

Just like the previous times, it was easy to hang out with Eddie. By the time that Eddie went to turn in and Buck settled on the couch, he felt strangely hopeful despite the loss of his longest running relationship. It was all because of Eddie.

The next day, he ignored David’s phone calls and texts and instead enjoyed watching Chris open his presents. He helped Ramon make breakfast and then when it was time helped to pack up Eddie’s car with their bags and the presents that had been received. He got a hug from Eddie’s parents and abuela before they set out.

He spent most of the drive bonding with Christopher and somehow found himself promising that he and Chris could go to the zoo. Eddie just nodded and smiled, so Buck figured he could make it happen. By the time that they had made it back to LA, traffic kept them together for a while longer.

“Text me,” Eddie said as he pulled up to Buck and David’s place. “Or call me. If you need anything at all. And the offer still stands if you can’t find somewhere to go.”

“Thank you,” Buck said. “I’m so glad I met you. Best part of the trip.”

“For me too, Buck,” Eddie said and then he got out of the car and followed Buck to the back to grab his bag out, carrying it for Buck to the front step.

“Eddie, you didn’t—”

“I wanted to,” Eddie said, “because I would kick myself if I didn’t do this.”

And then, Eddie kissed him. He drew Buck in and his lips landed on his and Buck leaned into him, kissed him back and let himself enjoy the moment and how good of a kisser Eddie was.

“Merry Christmas,” Eddie said when he pulled away.

Buck laughed. “Merry Christmas.

One Year Later

“Looking good, guys,” Eddie said.

Buck didn’t look up. He was too busy concentrating on creating icicles on the gingerbread house he and Chris were in the middle of decorating. Chris was just as rapt even though he was supposed to be adding candy to the roof of the house.

“Mom and dad said they’ll be here in fifteen minutes.”

“We’ll have it ready by then,” Buck said.

He heard Eddie laugh and looked up to see his boyfriend walking away. As soon as he was out of earshot, he turned to Chris.

“Plan still a go, okay.”

“Okay,” Chris said, toothy grin, wide.

It was Christmas Eve and due to some delays Mr. and Mrs. Diaz were arriving a little later than planned, but it was going to work in Buck’s favor. They would arrive to the house fully decorated rather than the mess it had been just a few hours earlier because he and Eddie had been busy with work all week to get to it. But at last. The tree was up, the lights were up, and he and Chris were finishing up the gingerbread house.

They were done when the doorbell rang and Buck hurried Chris along to the door so he could be there to greet his grandma and grandpa. All the hugs and kisses given, they stepped inside.

“Looks really good, Chris. I can see you’ve put your dad and Buck to work,” Eddie’s mom said.

“We try,” Buck said. “And I did all the cooking, don’t worry.”

Everyone laughed at that, especially when Chris piped up: “Because dad’s cooking is horrible.”

It was amazing how much could change in a year. Buck remembered the year previous without many regrets because it had led him to Eddie and to where he really belonged. Accepted, not hidden, and happy.

After dinner, they all found themselves in the living room catching up. It was how Buck found out that David had moved back home and that he was actually seeing Taylor. Buck didn’t know quite how to feel about it, but he didn’t give it much thought. There was something more important for him to worry about.

“We told Chris we could all open one present tonight,” Eddie said when it was getting closer to midnight.

Chris put himself in charge of picking the presents and he handed them out carefully, picking the smallest of the presents as Buck had intended. Gift cards for Helena and Ramon and then for Buck a book he’d shown some interest in — The House in the Cerulean Sea. Chris opened one containing a puzzle, and then Eddie reached for his.

He tore the paper off the box, and looked at Buck in amusement when he found only a cardboard box that he had to open. Inside there was only tissue paper.

“Buck?” he asked.

“Well, I couldn’t very well put it under the tree,” Buck said and he was down on one knee in front of Eddie. “Eddie, will you marry me?”

Lost for words, Eddie nodded furiously. Then, he managed to get out: “Yes.”

Buck was on his feet moments after placing the ring on Eddie’s finger and Eddie was in his arms.

“I thought,” Buck said, “last Christmas turned out well because I met you…but I think this tops that and I hope that we can just keep topping them.”

Eddie laughed. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

When Eddie kissed him it felt like the first time all over again because there was so much feeling and because it left Buck knowing he didn’t want to kiss anyone else.

#911 fox #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #911 on fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #fic #buckxeddie

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