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#but also writing takes so much time and i have to remember how normal ppl act. like how do friends work? blah idk
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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comradekatara · 1 month
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i don’t want to watch natla but i appreciate very much you posting about “zuko’s little faggot diary” that shit made me crack up laughing ty
that’s just canon to me. he’s a boy who loves to monologue. of course he keeps a diary. how else is he gonna keep track of his special interests. where else is he gonna write down his angsty poetry. you know he spent months tracking aang down taking detailed notes on his garb, his fighting style, his flight patterns, and not once ever bothered taking note of his name, even though he easily could’ve learned it from the million times katara screamed it over the course of their fights.
which, if you’ll allow me to go on a tangent, is another thing that bothers me. when ppl are like “zuko learned their names because they all say one another’s names constantly.” and you think that means he actively made an effort to REMEMBER it????? you must be out of your damn gourd if you think that the most one-track minded human being in the history of the universe is paying attention to anything that doesn’t directly interest him in that very moment. but i digress.
i just KNOW that zuko was soo mad that he lost his diary after his ship got blown up by zhao because years of precious poetry and avatar lore, burned to cinders by that PHILISTINE!!!! and then as a refugee in the earth kingdom, he languishes, diaryless, because he’s too embarrassed to actually spend what little money they have on something so extraneous. and then once back in the fire nation he obviously can’t keep a diary because azula will do everything in her power to read it (he learned that the hard way as a child). but then, finally, once he flees to the western air temple, he can actually keep a diary again, now that he is surrounded by nice, normal people who don’t actually care enough about him to snoop through his belongings.
or so he thinks.
now, aang, being a respectful young lad, would never share his findings with the rest of the group, especially since none of them have actually warmed up to him yet. but that doesn’t prevent him from reading everything zuko has ever written in that diary. and of course, he doesn’t tell zuko, because he has the tact and savvy to know that if he alerts zuko to his snooping, then he will simply hide his diary better, or even worse, stop writing in it altogether. and zuko can’t stop writing!! for he has a poet’s soul!!!
also, zuko has somehow gathered a lot of information on sokka that aang himself did not know, despite being friends with him for nearly a year now (like the fact that he dated the moon??? or the fact that his mother was killed by the fire nation??? although that one he really should’ve figured out on his own. considering that he and katara are siblings, and thus logically would share a mother). and so aang really needs zuko to keep updating his SOKKA LORE notebook because he feels kind of guilty that he knew basically nothing about his friend and yet zuko, the least observant person he has ever met, is somehow an expert in sokkology (although aang is deeply offended on katara’s behalf that he simply refers to her as “sokka’s sister” or sometimes “the angry one”).
for the record, aang never actually puts together WHY zuko is so fascinated by sokka. he’s just like “of course he’d be intrigued by sokka. he has a very complex mind, what an adventure to attempt to fathom the depths of his psyche.” like he just assumes that zuko is using sokka as a case study for completely innocuous reasons. he also assumes that zuko, like any teenage boy with eyes, is infatuated with katara. not at first, obviously, because to zuko she is still “girl sister, long hair” but eventually. once they reconcile, and become friends. and then his diary makes a sharp turn from carefully documenting any and all sokka lore to “katara said this really funny thing today” “katara is so nice and pretty” “katara is such a good waterbender” and suddenly aang is NOT having fun anymore!!!! halt the presses!!!!!
so aang just kind of sulks to himself for a while because it’s not like he can TELL anyone about his NEW ROMANTIC RIVAL in the BID FOR KATARA’S AFFECTIONS, but he does try to vaguely intimate to sokka and toph that it bothers him. and toph’s just like “what?? you mean all those times she hooked up with haru at the western air temple???” and aang’s just like. “HARU??????!!?!!??!?!?”
anyway. zuko isn’t a complete idiot, so after a few good years of being friends with aang, he finally catches onto the fact that aang has been keeping up with his diary every time he visits the palace, after like, the fourth or fifth time that aang accidentally lets a piece of information slip that he only could’ve known via reading zuko’s diary. so zuko decides to mess with him, and starts keeping a fake diary in the place he used to keep his real diary (columbus style) and writing shit in it like, “aang’s recent experimentations with facial hair are so embarrassing. just because you’re finally old enough to grow a weak little mustache doesn’t mean that you, under any circumstances, SHOULD. i bet katara is throwing up puking every day just having to kiss his horrendous furry mouth.” or, “katara said that she thinks roku was not only hotter, but also a way better avatar than aang, and personally, i agree. if he was still the avatar today no one would ever go hungry and we would have total world peace.” or, “aang is way too comfortable going shirtless. if i had that scrawny lanky body i would cover that shit up with a big ol sweater every day.” or, “aang said something really mean the other day and it hurt my feelings and i cried alone in my room for 3 hours. aang is literally a bully????”
and aang can’t even SAY anything because zuko is allowed to say whatever he wants about his friends in the privacy of his own journal, but also he decides that if zuko truly hates him so much, then he will simply stop visiting the fire nation so frequently, out of respect to his friend. at which point zuko realizes that he may have gone too far, so the next time aang visits him, he puts his real diary in his drawer with an entry that reads, “i can’t believe aang keeps falling for my fake diary prank. he doesn’t even know that im messing with him. and he never will, because my system is flawless, and i’ll never ever lose track of which diary is the real one and which one is the fake.”
at which point aang runs headfirst into a meeting between fire lord zuko and his senior council and is just like “ZUKO!!!!!!!!!!! YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!” and tackles him in a hug with no regard for propriety. he nearly gives zuko a concussion from the force of his hug. but dammit if it isn’t worth it.
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1onelypoet · 3 months
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stuck by the glue pt4 || op81 smau
a/n: last part. im a little depressed abt it but im working on a (hopefully) much better smau with like writing (does that make sense?) sooo. again thank u guys sm for the love 💕 ALSO OSCAR NEW IG POST WAS SOSODOD
pairing: oscar piastri x singer!reader
fc: beabadoobe
warnings: cursing and the mildest of mild innuendo
oscarpiastri
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oscarpiastri First race back was a crazy one 🥴
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mclaren A day to remember!
oscarpiastri 👊👊
landoscar OP81 WDC 2024 🗣🗣
landonorris Great job, mate!
pastry4piastri im so normal abt him!
oscarpiastriswife same.
yourusername
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yourusername it's a blacked out blur but im pretty sure it ruled 🍒
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youfriend1 there's no bond like the one between drunk dutch girlies who don't speak english and drunk american girlies who don't speak dutch 💕
yourusername nothing brings ppl together like alcohol-induced nausea 💓
landonorris think you guys forgot to invite me
yourbff we didn't invite you! yourbff girls only 😘 yourusername esp after that comment 😐 landonorris I'm not sorry.
y/ntaylorsversion oscar is not giving up lmao
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[caption: my world ❤️]
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yourusername got me giggling n blushing n shit 🤸‍♀️ oscarpiastri that's the goal 💕 also why are you cartwheeling yourusername y not 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️
yourbff simp oscarpiastri only for y/n ☺️ yourbff ok that's kinda sweet ig... still using the emojis like a grandpa tho!
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[caption: last day in the netherlands w my bae yourusername n her man]
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yourusername we're such masterminds 🤞🤞 yourbff imagine if they dont figure it out lmao even tho we layed it all out yourusername HELP bet they're gonna say it's logan again yourbff nah logans mine 🥊🥊 he just doesn't know it yet! yourusername LMFAOO i ship it 💝
logansargeant i thought y/n and oscar were hardlaunching? yourbff y/n is wearing the same jacket as the one in oscar's story so u can tell it's her logansargeant who's gonna notice that 😭 yourbff twitter the chronically online hoes etc logansargeant ...so you
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oscarpiastri ❤️❤️❤️ can't wait to show you off yourusername AHHHH U CANT SAY SHIT LIKE THAT cant wait to show u off too ☹️☹️
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yourusername love u to the moon and to saturn ❤️
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oscarpiastri ❤️❤️❤️
oscarpiastri This guy's very lucky!
yourusername ur such a dork oscarpiastri You love me though ;) yourusername yeah <3
yourusername im the luckiest logansargeant this is disgusting oscarpiastri Don't be rude to my gf yourfriend2 U TELL HIM OSCAR
oscarpiastri I love you so much
yourusername I love you toooooo
laufey so happy for you my love
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alex_albon Congrats!
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yourfriend1 YALL R SO CUTEEE
yourusername thank u bb
oliviarodrigo cute! (sleeping on the highway 2night)
gracieabrams love! (gonna go bathe with my toaster) conangray amazing! (taking a long walk off a short pier)
lilymhe you guys are the cutest I'm crying
yourusername lils 😭😭
yourbff ngl this made me tear up a little
yourbff no but fr, there is nothing better than seeing u happy. so so happy for u y/n ❤️
yourusername ur gonna make me cry. yourbff good.
logansargeant photo credits pls
yourusername no logansargeant wow okay i see how it is
mclaren Welcome to the family!
yourusername sobbing. oscarpiastri I can confirm this
landonorris the draining life of a thirdwheel...
oscarpiastri It was like 3 times. landonorris 😔😔
logansargeant same mate yourbff hi im free monday 8pm xx landonorris FIFTHWHEELING NOW
oscarpiastri
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oscarpiastri All's well that ends well to end up with you ❤️
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yourusername AHHHHHHHH
yourusername best. bf. ever.
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landonorris UM THE 7TH PIC??? THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!!!
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lilymhe we've all seen the pictures. she looks amazing! and, um, he's there...
alex_albon I'm starting to think you're y/n's girlfriend lilymhe I am! alex_albon @/oscarpiastri you seeing this, mate?
mclaren 🧡🧡🧡
logansargeant again, no photo creds? this is insane.
oscarpiastri 😬😬
danielricciardo Congrats, mate! 🎉🥳🎊
oscarpiastri Thank you!
landonorris not the emojis...
alex_albon ❤️
liamlawson30 We should go on a double date sometime!
oscarpiastri We'd love to!
opeightyone Aaand couple of the year award goes to...
yourbff u better treat her right or else
oscarpiastri I will 🫡🫡
youfriend1 not the public threat smh youbff 😘😘
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yourusername 1st gp as papaya girlie <3 also yes ik the top n skirt arent papaya i have no orange clothes :(
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oscarpiastri Stunning 💕
yourusername <3
mclaren Our favorite papaya girlie!
y/nupdates admin is so real for this
landonorris @/oscarpiastri get the girl some papaya clothes
mclaren ^^
justaninchident HELP THE EAT PASTA DRIVE FASTA
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rhine-gold-archive · 2 years
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sub!Diluc x Dom! gn! reader
Warnings: very much not safe for w, edging, overstimulation, praise kink, minors get out of here. But also, some unabashed fluff. Yes, it contains multitudes.
words: 3,2k.
A\n: This somehow turned into Diluc character study, but I promise I will get to the filth after the psychological profiling. also, I know I tend to write in an authoritative voice like I'm stating facts, but these are just my personal opinions and if you interpret characters differently, more power to you.
Listen, i know everyone hcs Diluc as a dom. And he can be a very nice service dom, but I’m here to convince you that sub!Diluc is actually not OOC.
First of all, he’s more repressed than a catholic nun. Diluc is like on six levels of dissociation at any given moment. He sees his body as a flesh suit he’s piloting that requires an inconvenient maintenance like sleep, food and occasional sexual release. He’ll jerk off by himself like it’s a chore. 
Diluc is so touch starved it’s ridiculous, and *he doesn’t even know it*, that’s how much he’s disconnected from his needs.
And like. Helping ppl like that discover what they actually want and watching them come undone in pleasure they didn’t know they desired is so delicious. If you know, you know, there’s nothing quite like it.
But you have to go slow with him
I mean first of all, you shouldn’t mess with Diluc at all if you’re not in for a long haul, this man doesn’t do casual.
Oh, he’ll agree to try if he’s already into you, he’s incredibly indulging to the people he values. But also because at first he’ll be incredibly defensive.
Not because he’s not into it. Just as a defense mechanism, as he thinks he’ll disappoint you and he’s preparing for a failure from the start.
Diluc can see any activity with his important people as a trial where his performance will be evaluated. He is one of these “I need to get a good grade in X which is both normal to want and possible to achieve” people.
Remember the coffeeshop event where he was like “When I was a small child, my father told me to mix my first drink using all of the ingredients in the tavern. In hindsight, it was probably to see how creative I am and I must’ve failed because I just made a fruit punch and my father didn’t say if I did well”?
Like, Diluc. Baby. Honey. Sweetie. Your dad probably just wanted you to have fun in an improvised “take your kid to work” event. He didn’t judge your punch because it was about spending quality time together and letting you play with colorful syrups. Who the fuck would evaluate a small child’s creativity on the first time they mix drinks. You think he expected you to invent Pina Colada?
So yeah, he will see even getting edged as a thing he’s not proficient in, so he’s most likely to fail and disappoint you. And that’s one of the worst things he can imagine.
Because being useful is Diluc’s love language. If you read his voicelines or talk to him in teapot, you can notice how he’s very focused on doing things for you, like he’ll invent a drink specifically for you and keeps repeating that you should tell him if you need anything, but at the same time, he “doesn’t do chit chat” and wants to leave if there’s nothing for him to do. 
Because Diluc knows he’s not easygoing or fun to be around. He has his charming brother who makes it seem effortless to compare himself with. He knows he’s kind of awkward, intense, brooding and direct to the point of coming off as rude. So he needs to feel like he’s doing something useful for you to justify spending time with you. 
So for his first time, don’t tease him verbally. He’s incredibly teasable, I know. But he’s already very anxious about disappointing you even if he tries to hide it and he was conditioned to clamp up at the first sign of perceived mockery by his troll brother. Show him first how good it can feel before you start playing with him.
also, he obviously has a praise kink that he’s not even aware of. like, it’s not even up for discussion, praise from other people and approval from his dad are literally described as his main motivations
“The praise he received from his comrades and citizens spurred him on. But the words of praise he valued most of all were: "Good job. Now, that's my son." His father's words fueled the fire inside his heart and served as his greatest motivation.“ and sure, after he lost his dad and emotionally closed off, he doesn’t allow himself to rely on approval of others. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it. 
You can tie his hands, but honestly I think it’s much more fun to just order him to keep his hands up. He’s so stubborn, it’ll be a matter of pride for him to keep his composure. And it will also make it that much more delicious to see it finally break.
When you tell him that he must ask for permission to finish, he just scoffs. He’s so sure he wouldn’t be reduced to that.
Don’t expect him to dissolve into stereotypical meowling and begging when you first start touching him. Again, he’s much too stubborn. He’s coming into this defensive and he wants to be in control of himself. 
But hear me out - it actually makes it more fun to tease him. Diluc tries to keep himself still, but no amount of willpower will make him less sensitive and, again, touch starved to hell and back. 
So at first, it’s the little things that betray him. How when you kiss his neck, his throat moves under your lips in a shaky intake of a breath, How the taut muscles of his scarred arms flex when you run your hands over his chest. How he draws in his stomach when you slide your fingers down it, slow, tantalizingly slow, making light patterns with just your fingertips. How he avoids your eyes because you haven’t even touched his cock yet and he’s already so obviously, painfully hard.
He has a beautiful cock, big and with a nice curve, and as for all pale redheads, it becomes brilliantly red when aroused. When you finally touch him, slowly stroking it up from the base to the tip, he draws in a breath through the clenched teeth and squeezes his eyes shut. You watch him struggle as you start pumping his dick faster and faster, his jaw clenching, his breath and heartbeat quickening, sweat beads forming on his forehead, his shoulders and hips flinching as he tries to keep himself from arching up and thrusting into your hand. 
He’s fighting a losing battle and both of you know it by now. You could break him right here if you wanted. You squeeze and rub the sensitive tip of his cock, and see him open his mouth in a silent, chocked gasp for air. He manages to keep himself from clenching his fists, but his knuckles whiten when he desperately scraps his fingertips against the bedsheets. 
But you don’t want him to feel like he lost a fight, it’s not about that, it was never about that. Even shame should feel good. You caress his high, sculpted cheekbones with your thumb, your other hand still on his cock. “‘Luc, look at me.”
He can’t disobey you, but he has to take a deep breath before he can open his eyes. He meets your gaze, anxious. What’s he going to see, mockery over how pathetically quick he’s breaking down? Disappointment for how bad and inexperienced he is at this? Just a cold, severe rejection?
“You look so beautiful, baby,” you tell him quietly and breath catches in his throat, his pupils widening, his cock twitching in your hand. You kiss the trail from his sharp jawline up to his ear, allowing him to turn away. “Do you enjoy this? Do you want me to keep going?" you smile warmly when he whips his head back to look at you and meet his dazed crimson eyes. “I just want you to feel good.”
This reframes the entire scene for him in a one fell swoop, turning it upside down, leaving him disoriented. It wasn’t a challenge that he was losing, or a trial that he was failing, him giving in to his desires was what you wanted all along? You enjoy seeing his pleasure, even if he’s not being useful to you in return? It seems impossible to him, yet when you look at him like this, when you touch him like this, like he’s precious and wanted, when he knows he’s broken and undeserving… it feels intoxicating and liberating at once, in a way he couldn’t imagine before. He realizes at this moment how badly he wants this, even if he still doesn’t understand how far he’s willing to go for it.
“I… ugh, I… like it,” Diluc swallows harshly, his mouth suddenly dry, and if you thought he was blushing before, now the pink dust on his cheeks turns into a brilliant scarlet glow, covering his face, neck and even top of his shoulders. He clearly wants to look away in embarrassment, but makes himself hold your gaze. “If you… enjoy this too and… want to go on…”
You rake your eyes over him, sprawled in front of you, and smile, meeting his gaze again. “Of course I enjoy it. You look so fucking hot like this.” his eyes widen and his lips part, you can feel his tip leaking in your hand, his entire body strung up like a bowstring. He doesn’t know what to answer and he couldn’t talk even if he did, so when you lower your head down to kiss him he answers eagerly, with passion and gratitude he can’t express in words. You start pumping his cock again, now faster and with a firmer grip, and drink in his abrupt gasp against your mouth, as he freezes for a second and then returns the kiss with twice the abandon. This time he doesn’t try to fight it, his body trembling under you, his hips bucking up to meet your hand, his hands closing into fists, toes curling. 
He breaks the kiss when you twist your palm against his pulsing tip, and he cries out, low and strangled, his entire body arching up, but his unfocused eyes find yours immediately, his gaze frantic, almost feverish. He’s going far outside his comfort zone, he’s relinquishing control and he’s so unused to this, he trained himself for years to do the opposite of this, to see it as a failure, so he needs your repeated reassurance to soothe his anxiety, to prove he didn’t imagine your desire few moments ago.
You lean down to him without breaking eye contact. “You’re doing so good, baby. You’re being so good for me.”
It shoots through him, bypassing the brain entirely, through the entire nerve system and right down to the cock, like only discovering a kink you were entirely oblivious to before can. His body goes rigid and he comes, with a choked, shuddering groan. 
You stroke him through it, until he limply falls back on the bed, spent and panting. He reaches for you and you let him pull you in, hold him while he’s coming back to his senses, run fingers through his soft hair. When he opens his eyes, he looks at you with a small, almost sheepish smile, and it’s impossible to resist kissing him.
“Are you okay?” you ask, stroking his cheek and he leans into your palm.
“Yes, I’m fine,” he answers immediately, then realizes how it sounds and tries to correct. “I mean, I’m better than fine. I’m... I feel good.”
You chuckle and his eyes flicker to watch your mouth, then throw you a glance from under half-lowered lids. It’s enjoyable seeing him open like this, but what you really want is seeing him come undone. He doesn’t look tired and you know he can go on for much longer, but today it’s more a question of mental state than stamina. 
“You want to go for another round?” you ask softly him and he blushes lightly.
“Well, I did technically… um, break a promise to ask for permission in the end,” he says with the same small smile that grows even more sheepish as he tries to avoid admitting he desperately wants more. “So it’s only fair if I remedy that.”
“Oh, of course. Honorable as always. So noble of you, Master Diluc,” you run your fingers over his abs, spreading cum all over them, and his brilliant blush returns in full force. But he doesn’t stop smiling, trusting your good intentions, that you’re mocking the hierarchy of ranks and not him personally. You kiss the corner of his mouth to reassure him, and his smile grows wider.
“Well, you can’t be successful in the commercial trade if you’re not answering for your obligations,” he says, trying and failing to keep a straight face. He really does recover very quickly, you think, if he can already banter. “The Wine Guild would kick me out if they learned I’d backed down on a deal.”
“Well, at least I know I can complain to the Wine Guild if you misbehave then,” your voice is still light, but you catch his chin and lift it up firmly, and he tenses up immediately. 
He looks up at you, eyes intense as always, but now glittering in anticipation and tracking your every move, bangs tousled and lips parted for you to claim. You kiss him, messily, greedily, slide your fingers to the back of his head and pull on his hair, forcing him to expose his throat for you. You leave the trail of sloppy kisses and scraped teeth down from his jaw to the collarbones before you let go of his hair and allow him to collapse. 
When your hand finds his cock, it’s already half-hard, throbbing. red. This time, you don’t go slowly, you grab it and start pumping it fast. He shudders, still so sensitive after a recent orgasm, and instinctively tries to close his legs.
You don’t force them open, instead, you catch his chin and meet his eyes again. “No,” you say slowly. “Open up for me.” 
The thing about Diluc is that he doesn’t do anything by halves if he sets his mind to it. Once he opens up, he burns for you with the same single-minded dedication as he does fighting enemies in the night. He might not know how to ask for help, pleasure or affection, but he sure knows how to give and to give everything he’s got. Do not ask to have him if you want anything less than the whole.
He grits his teeth, his eyes smoldering crimson, and forces himself to spread his legs again, against his basic reflexes. The touch to his overstimulated dick is painful and igniting at the same time, it feels equal parts wrecking and delightful.
You smile and praise him and pump him even harder and faster than before, and he trashes in front of you, muttering a litany of half-choked curses, throwing his head from side to side, hands clawing at the sheets, thighs shaking, but staying open.
You asked for him and you shall have him, no matter what.
It’s still not enough for you, though.
You sprawl on your side against him, circling one arm around his shoulders, still stroking him with the other. The fight goes out of him. He blindly leans into you, trembling, a small whine caught in his throat. When you kiss him, his mouth is soft and pliant, but his hands clutch at you desperately, like a drowning man trying to hold on to the solid ground. 
It drives you crazy to watch him writhe under you, completely unravelled, glowing brightly from feverish desire, scarlet silk of his tangled hair sprawled on the sheets, his hips bucking frantically into your hand. 
You whisper sweet, tender praises to him, caress his face, neck and shoulders like he’s the most precious and fragile thing in the world, at the same time as your other hand relentlessly winds him up, squeezes his overstimulated, pulsing cock harshly, twists the leaking tip. The pain punctuates desire, a delirious contrast of torturously sweet and deliciously cruel.
His fingers dig into you, holding you close. He presses his face into the crook of your neck, clings to you, seeking comfort and shelter from the same sweet, unbearable torture that is also inflicted by you. The pleasure melts him, but the pain splits him open, wrecks him to the core, he wants this to end, and he wants this to never stop. More than anything, he wants to be yours.
“Fuck, look at you. You’re perfect,” you tell him and you mean it.
He breathes in through his mouth, drawing in your scent. “Please,” he gasps so quietly, you could’ve missed it if not for his lips moving against your neck. “Please, let me…please…”
Next time, you might demand more. Next time, you might make him spell it out completely, what exactly he begs you for. But this is his first time and he was already so brave for you.
“Yes, baby. You’ve been so fucking good. Come for me.”
He comes immediately and so hard, his entire body is shaking, the strangled scream caught in his throat. You keep stroking him, letting him ride it out through increasingly frantic and desperate thrusts, squeeze every last drop out of him until he collapses, limp and shivering, but still clinging to you.
You hold him, stroke his hair and kiss his forehead, whisper to him softly until he stops trembling and his breath evens out. You realize that he’s too weak now to get to the bath, so you stand up to get something to help, but he reaches out, catches your wrist immediately.
“It’s okay, I’ll be back in a second,” you promise. After you clean him up with a wet cloth, he pulls you in and curls around you so possessively and needy, you can’t help but smile. He’s fighting a losing battle to stay awake, the endless sleepless nights finally catching up with him, now that he lowered his guard for a moment and let his body feel alive. But there’s one thing he needs to ask, suddenly apprehensive now that the rush of lust passed.
“Did you… Was I… Ugh, damn. Would you perhaps?..” he stumbles over his words, not knowing how to phrase his concern that he wasn’t good enough for you and you just indulged him. You stop him mercifully.
“I *did* enjoy it. You *were* incredible. And yes, I would very much love to do this again.”
“Oh,” he says, relaxing against you, the same precious small smile appearing on his face again, now more content than sheepish. You chuckle, stroking his face. 
“Besides, you did break my order to keep your hands up. You’ll have to suffer the punishment, or the Wine Guild will need to hear about this.”
He snorts indignantly and blushes at the same time. For the first time in many, many nights he falls asleep with a light heart and a smile still tugging at his lips.
a\n: I had fun writing this, so I might make this into sub!character series. Not taking specific requests per se, but you can let me know which adult genshin characters you’d be interested to hear my take on, both male and female.
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berensteinsmonster · 6 months
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. girls who hold forbidden dark powers. girls who are distressed girl who are cringe.. look up those words n youll see her... Shower Curtain Wizard
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and shes like sooooooooo weird..... i lvoe her ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
(reblogs help my posts be seen :) (more lore in readmore but its messy lol)
shes like one of the migrating jellyfish in woy but gained sentience somehow and went to magic school to learn magic. but then she learned too much magic and accidently fused her body with WATER MANIPULATION POWERS🌊🌊🌊 that gave her new arms and eyes. The bowl on her head helps her contain it
She's ranking below the Top 50 of the villain leaderboards but that doesn't mean she isn't dangerous. She just doesn't do the conquering planets often
shes actually like. normal
shes so boring and normal and thats why ppl think shes weird
i ehmmmm i wanna write more lore abt her and emperor awesome
her lore is kinda unfinished but the main idea of it is what i said above abt her gaining sentience and absorbing magic into herself ^^
i like to think that before she went to magic school she and emperor awesome used to be.... BEST FRIENDS!!!!
i like to think she and emperor awesome used to be GEEKS they used to be NERDS and emperor awesome wore braces
they were like Those Two Guys in school everyone hated them but they didnt care lol
also shes trans so she used to be a boy. i think she may have transitioned after entering magic school becuz until now Emperor Awesome only remembered her when he was in his brace-face phase and basically never contacted her after that cuz they interests change and they felt like they didnt know eahc other anymore :(
. also shes trans becuz ehmm yipepeee lalallalaa whooooo!!! ^_^
after she left for magic school they basically never met eachother again until now in what id imagine to be season 3
shes basically like omg hi friend its so good to see you again :)))) and hes like OH FUCK MY LAME PAST. and i think that like he finds it weird at first. not because shes a girl now, but because she still acts the same as she did when they were best friends and that also means shes still the weird kind of kid hes grown to be ashamed of now.
so while shes one of the rare amount of girls that emperor awesome actually treats normally he tries to keep it low profile with how he used to be lame like her while shower curtain wizard is just confused about why emperor awesome acts so distant to her... sad :(
character development is probably needed here for them to repair their friendship and become buddies again yay :)))) wander would be of help here
OH ALSO
she does not live in the galaxy that woy season 1-2 takes place in. its like. just a galaxy next to it
most of my ocs live in that galaxy and were probabily next on lord dominators to-destroy-list if wander and co didnt stop her
She is however on the Star Force Enforcement Force's To-Stop list because even if she hasnt reached her full potentional, her ability to manipulate ALL kinds of water (Orble juice, orange juice, planet water and so on (but not veins)) make her note-worthy threat to their self-righteous quest to deliver justice
i prommy ill write abt it in a text post another time i think ive gone on long enough
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baconcolacan · 4 months
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Reread my message from last night. Sorry for my nonsense lol. I wanted to ask if you’re planning on writing a fic for your Stay AU sometime? I’m desperate for some good monster Tom fics and there’s never enough in this fandom lol. No pressure just curious!
Also I’ve been following the reigmen fic since 2018. I grown up with this fic in way, from highschool to college, i remember telling my friends in rambles about how well written it was and my theories. I remember having hope it would work for Tom before he lost it all. I’m attaching to this work now and I’m so glad you’re choosing to continue it (take as long as breaks you need first, of course, it’s a heavy read). I have to mentally prepare myself everytime I go in. But love the character development and world building and how you make small references in the work to eddsworld. That’s sounds weird but it’s hilarious in a way to read this tragic story and have Tom be like “yeah I hate tord, the ass- anyways we went to Atlantis together and were cloned.” Like it’s whatever and ppl around him just ????
And the no eyes thing Tom has going on, treated like it’s normal in the world- and then finding the body with no eyes as a message! I reread that chapter just itself sometimes cause I just love it- so so creepy, a perfect subtle way show the unhinged mind of Tord. He’s the worst but sometimes you gotta love a chill up your back in good writing!
Anyways have a good holidays, take it easy! Sorry I was high and typing gibberish 😅
AWH GOSH ANON THIS WAS SO SWEET TO WAKE UP TO THANK YOU!! <3
As for Stay….well, actually to be honest with you, I’m very very tempted to start a fic series for it, but I decided not to for now so I can dedicate that time to TRYING to shut the chapters on Regimen to a close.
I’m so flattered by you liking the fic to that extent though! Crazy to think something I started at 16 years old is appreciated this much so, really, thank you <3
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sleepis4theweak · 8 months
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Alr, before I say anything I just want you to know that you're an awesome person and tysm for letting me talk ab it
Basically, today I had a lot motivation to do a lot of stuff
And a lot of new stuff
I was actually kinda happy and excited
And then somehow everything went downhill,
Like, I tried to find some information about my country's sign language (I just thought about learning something new! :D
And it's even better cuz this time it's actually useful and it helps ppl!)
But I couldn't, I really, really searched a lot but the only thing I saw was ASL, nothing else (idk, I might try to learn that)
And then after that I was planning on writing something but all my motivation just fucking vaporized or sm
So after that, I tried editing some videos but my mind just couldn't focus
And this whole day was just a mess, and this week is just gonna be worse cuz my only friend is leaving the country for a week
I have so many things in my head but then when I want to focus just on one it feel blank
This is so annoying, but I fucking hate it
And normally it would happen like 4 times a week but now it's happening every day and I can't even catch a brake
Well, I hope you don't mind ab me venting a lil
I though that venting ab lil things would be better instead of huge things
It makes it better for the person listening (not too much pressure) and it takes a weight off my shoulders
Stay safe, luv ya
And tysm for listening/reading it means a lot to me <33
Yeah I completely get that.
I remember a lot of time in which I wanted to start a lot of stuff (not unusual for me) and was mentally ready to do it (much more unusual for me) and then one thing happens and all of the sudden my motivation TANKS.
And then your day is just... ruined. And it sucks.
I also hear you about the being unable to focus on one thing, but having so much you want to do. Its like decision paralysis, idk. Like being unable to do one thing because of the other things but then never getting anywhere (idk if I'm explaining this well...or if I'm thinking of the same thing you are).
Moral of the story: That SUCKS. And it sounds like its something that has been really bugging you.
I don't mind you venting at all! And also I'm glad that being able to vent takes a weight off your shoulders, no matter how small.
And also don't worry at all about putting pressure on me as the person listening, I promise you I do not mind. I used to work on a helpline, so I listened to people talk about a lot of things- from bad tests to things like suic*de. I know (and have been trained) to listen to people and then be able to detach myself from it, so that I don't feel that weight.
If you wanna rant, I'm here to listen <3.
You stay safe too, and thank you for sharing! And I love you too <3
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personasintro · 2 years
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Chapter 53 was amazing! One of the best yet! Soooo much happened!
I’m so happy that he told his mom about the abortion. Keeping that from them must have been tough.
The raw sex scene was perfect. Like I didn’t know when or how it would happen but after reading this I wouldn’t have liked it any other way! He said he’d ruin her until she cried and he kept his promise. I liked that it was their last night living together. I saw it like closing that chapter in a way. I also felt like you gave us that bomb ass scene because they’re not gonna have sex again for a while lol.
Im glad YN found a place to live. It was nice having them live together and have easy access to each other but living separately is a nice change and also will bring new plot.
I was shocked to find Jimin so upset about them hooking up again. I was kinda annoyed with him. I was loving Tae so much when he was defending their decision lol. I agree with Jimin somewhat but I don’t agree with how he came at them. I love how calm and collected Jungkook was compared to YN lol. And his “besties for life” line made me lol.
I was nooooot expecting the chapter to end in a big argument! I was kinda annoyed with YN because she was blowing things out of proportion about Esther coming along but I kinda get it a little because I was last minute and she’s not really their friend only Jungkook’s, but still that was more jealousy than actual annoyance at the last minute addition. I think she feels like she’s gonna get replaced because until now she’s been like the only girl in the friend group. Jungkook got stern with her and cursed at her 😳. It’s been a while. He hasn’t really been like that with her since YN was trippin over K!£0…. 🤔 but he’s also wrong for assuming that Esther and YN could share a tent and she wouldn’t mind. He didn’t even ask, he just assumed. He was wrong for that.
So the big question is how the hell is she gonna get Yoongi to go on a friend trip with her?! They aren’t even really friends lol. And she can’t show up without him cause then Jungkook will definitely rub that in her face.
I’m soooo excited! I know YN doesn’t dislike Esther like she did 🥝 so I don’t expect the same type of drama and petty comments to her. I’m so curious what will happen! You are magic, Mimi! Looking forward to the next chapter as always. Take care of yourself and delete all the asks asking for updates lol.
Yes!! Mama Jeon knows now 🥺 one of the reasons why he told her is because they kept asking y/n about him, which made him feel bad because they worry about him. Of course there were other reasons too but I wanted to mention this 🥺
Ahh the 🍣 scene gave me a trouble! First of all, I wanted it to be perfect. I feel like so many of you have waited for it and expected something big, I tried to deliver that. It was hard to write for a certain period of time, I got stuck and then stopped writing it while I continued the story (which I don’t like to do at all because sometimes it can get confusing 😭). I was going back and forth between that scene but in the end, of course I’ve managed to finish it and I’m glad how it ended. Idk if I remember correctly (many thoughts cross my mind while writing) but I think I originally planned the scene to happened on another day ??? Or I know there was something that didn’t go according to the plan 🫣
I’m actually surprised y/n moving out was discussed so much 🫢 it’s completely normal that she wants to have her own home and as much as living with jk was a lot of fun and nice, she can’t stay there forever. What shocked me the most were some ppl in the comments getting mad at jk for not stopping her like 😭 that would be toxic of him! And not having his own opinion lmao
Jimin has surprised us all! I mean you, I knew he was gonna do that 🐸 it’s the fact they’re getting involved with each other this way again, he was like what the fuck is going on
You’re right, he was stern and he can be stern even with her. He got annoyed to because he couldn’t understand why she is so suddenly against Ester. He did feel bad for E at that moment 🫣 he knows her the most out of all of them, so he knows she’s nice and he’s aware of her struggles. Yes, he shouldn’t have assumed anything and my reaction would be the same as y/n’s lol. That part was screaming me 💀 I guess he didn’t think about it enough, he just assumed they could share a tent together since they’re both girls and Maya is with Namjoon so she’s out of the question 😵‍💫 and they probably would share it and y/n would have no problem with it! But she does because of her jealousy and all that 😎 it wasn’t right to assume that anyway, even if jk knew she’d be okay with it under other circumstances. It felt at that moment like she was just going against him purposely. Which she did because she was annoyed and mad at him 🙆‍♀️ oh god, these two are gonna give me a headache!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫
Maybe he’s not gonna come! It is possible and even more with Yoongi tho. He’s not that person to go out and save the day lol I love how everyone assumes he’s just going 😭😭😭
Thank you so much! I enjoyed reading and replying to this ask!! Btw I absolutely love your icon 🤧🫶❤️‍🔥
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friedrocks · 8 months
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oooooooh please i need to know more about your qsmp pacific rim au
I'VE BEEN WANTING AN EXCUSE TO POST MORE ABOUT IT! Ily anon thank you and sorry it took me a while to reply here we gooo :))
This whole thing stemmed cause I re-watched Pacific Rim, one of my favorite movies of all time after a QSMP vod. And I immediately was like. "Oh my god, Jaiden and Roier as Jaeger pilots." So far I have 8 pages of a Google Doc on this now.
And now there's MORE to do bc MORE members just dropped.
Everyone is still stranded on an Island, one in the middle of the Ocean reserved for a Shatterdome that is used solely for training and repairing/constructing Jaegers. Everyone is stuck due to the sudden appearance of some Kaiju. One uses an electrical attack, sending a shock wave over the island and Shatterdome. Everyone is knocked out for two hours, and when they wake up, all technology/ways of communication outside the island is broken/unusable. Also, no one remembers why or how they are there. They only remember their names, some of the other members, and what Kaiju and Jaegers are. Otherwise, they're stuck and clueless.
Here's some ideas I have for the Eggs so far!
Eggs:
The kiddos are found as Kaiju eggs, in the same order so far. Super small compared to what is normal for Kaiju, so they are taken in for research- not easily, some people say no, but overall the majority vote to bring them in. They hatch about two weeks later, shocking everyone when they hatch to reveal what look like regular, human toddlers- all with white hair, white scales, and small white tails (over time of being cared for, the kiddos' scale colors change to match their parents and such).
At this point, everyone pairs up to take care of the kids. Some are already romantic couples, qprs, or besties. Badboyhalo is still a single parent, however I might work in Skeppy as being his friend/partner who is either on the island in a coma or just not there at all but Bad still remembers him much to the chagrin of everyone else. As for Quackity, I might have Tallulah and Tilín be twins, and have Wilbur and Quackity work that out (who knows how that will end, they're both disasters).
So far, I have options written as far as Egg deaths and what I want to do if I don't want to include Egg death. Cause it's fucking sad, but also. Juicy juicy angst.
Characters:
So far every character is just plain old human (except obviously the eggs, cucurucho, and code).
So far for Jaegers, I have 5, which I feel is a good amount. I didn't want to have too many, I had to narrow down the number of ppl I wanted to see in a Jaeger. I'll list the pairs I have so far here:
• Jaiden and Roier
• Baghera and Forever (siblings in this au)(they pilot a Jaeger formerly manned by Bad and Skeppy)
• Philza and Missa (Formerly manned by Phil and Fit)
• Mariana and Charlie
• Pac and Mike (woah woah!) (also I'm still back and forth about them being pilots or engineers- or hey! both)
Everyone else is either dedicated to Strategy, Kaiju research/experimentation, general tech, or Jaeger engineering/design.
Cucurucho and The Code are also there, I'm brainstorming ideas on them (and the Eggs) being Government experiments of some kind, trying to blend animals and humans with Kaiju.
That's all for now without being too specific.
THANK YOU AGAIN ANON I'M HAVING SO MUCH WITH THIS
The only thing that would be better is if I could have anyone who actually speaks Portuguese and/or French and/or Spanish to help me out. I know a bit of Spanish, but definitely not enough to write it entirely accurately. I also worry that I won't characterize some of the non-Englisj speaking cubitos correctly, due to me not being able to watch them regularly.
Anyways ily and I love Pacific Rim and I love the QSMP my brain is buzzing, my hands are flapping
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crushofdoves · 1 year
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some smut for the director's cut please :D
After, it's dead silent in the room for a beat - and then Sirius is heaving huge, wracking breaths and saying, "What the fuck, oh my god," under his breath over and over again and Remus is still just staring like it's all caught up to him. His mouth has dropped open into a soft bow of shock and he looks down at his hand like he can’t believe it’s attached to him.
Remus finally takes his fingers out slowly, one by one, and Sirius curses with each one until he's lying there in a pool of - something oh my god that had never happened when he was alone. What is happening to him, empty and tingling all over with no idea of what comes next. The emptiness is all-consuming - he’s so wet, his body clenching around nothing and wanting nothing more than for Remus to slide into him, press him into the bed and keep him there for as long as he pleases. Sirius is dazed, unable to speak.
Maybe he should feel sore, but he doesn’t. Maybe he should feel embarrassed - he’s never come so quickly in his life, didn’t know it was humanly possible. But he doesn’t. He feels ravenous.
okay y’all buckle up bc I love talking about this fic - i’ve got diamonds in my eyes (for you)
I wanted to write a trans sirius fic because I’m trans and 99% of the trans wolfstar (or just trans marauders in general) fic that exists is sad & awkward. so much of it centers around dysphoria and angst and like those are real things that happen every day, and real things that I live with. and I understand why ppl want to write about that, and read it. but I don’t!
I want to read about trans characters being in love and having good sex and being happy in their bodies! I want to write them being normal and completely unremarkable!
but like I also wanted to write tender, filthy sex where sirius realizes that putting his body in another person’s hands is worth it. and for him to understand that his body, what it can do, how much it can take - is fucking cool and sexy.
this scene in particular is him settling into that feeling - that he can be messy, fucked well past the point he ever thought possible, and still want more of it. that he can still be loved at the soft, filthy core of it all. like I remember the first time I became aware of that, and of how big my desire was and idk lots of this is pulled from personal experience lmao
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rocksandmirrors · 1 year
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I SCREAMED SO MUCH AND GOT TOLD TO STFU AND SLEEP
So much small foreshadowing and references
The “boring fillers” from season one actually foreshadowing-
Body swap: Titan Luz
Carnival ep: “I loaf you”
The puppet episode: Hexsquad puppets
The rat thing kicking Tinela Nosa out of small crack in all being a reference(??) to when she kicked the rat thing out of that same place to escape boiling rain
-🔮
i hope you don't mind if i group all your asks into one post, you sent a lot of them and i don't wanna spam agshads (which isn't a bad thing tho!! when i said you could spam me about WAD i meant it, i'm just doing this out of convenience <3)
but yeah right!!! every single episode was important imo, even if there's a couple of them i don't enjoy as much they're still here not only for foreshadowing, but also for worldbuilding, character development, relationship development, etc and i HATE when ppl go "uuuh this is filler actually therefore it's useless" you don't know what you're talking about but go off </3
(i don't remember a puppet episode specifically tho, which one are you referring to??)
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Raine is so op it's INSANE, like they can take on Belos despite being 1 exhausted from the draining spell 2 MIND CONTROLLED TWICE. i love them so much but damn i would never try to get on their bad side AND YEAH THE RAEDA. OUUUGHOGUHOU WE GOT FED
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no but their friendship means so much to me. they're so goofy and cute i want a series about them just hanging out together
and unfortunately i don't think so </3 i expected like at least seeing them interact in the time-ship- like, without dialogues yk?? OR HAVE THEM IN THE SAME SHOT AT THE VERY LEAST AHJSAS GIVE ME MY FAVORITE BROS but yeah he's looking kinda cool ngl!! i think his mustache is real, he would have conjured up a full-on beard if he used illusion magic :')) the one he has rn is a little too ridiculous. i like his new outfit too
and yeah tbh?? that's what she deserves. the fact that she could use magic too to levitate whatever she needed to carry is just. my girl is a mess HASAJHD
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oh yeah totally!! didn't catch that at first, i thought this was just a throwback to what King had said, but when i watched the episode a second time i just froze like WAIT A SECOND NOW. anyway bigender!Papa Titan for the win
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VEE IS WORKING IT. the piercings, the long hair, the outfit like HELLO??? i'm sooo happy she's comfortable enough to visit the BI again too!!!
yeah i was so excited to see Darius and Eberwolf back to normal!!! it cracked me up how Darius asked about Hunter's shirt but not about his scars, but i think he knew what had happened and didn't want to bring it up just yet
and yeah i noticed that too!! i'm so relieved they found a way to remove the sigils, i thought they were gonna be stuck with them
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YES. IM SO HAPPY THEY MANAGED TO FIT THAT IN. i'm not latino so idk how important it is, but i've seen a few fans hoping to see Luz's quinceañera and i'm so glad it actually happened <3
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REAL. they're canon to me, in fact they were already dating during the time-skip
jokes aside, just like their reunion in FTF we all really thought they'd at least blush at each other or something GHASDADS us gustholosers never learn from our mistakes huh
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FUCK YEAH. I NEED TO DRAW OR WRITE ABOUT STEP PARENT RAINE WHO HANGS OUT WITH LUZ AND KING AND THE REST OF THE KIDS <3 i love them so much
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magnoliamyrrh · 1 year
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i was sexually abused as a child, it happened in kindergarten and because of the culture of silence and fear that was instilled in 5yo me and not wanting to bother my dad lest he would want to spend even less time with me, i had no brains to protect myself. when the abuse became known to my teacher, they did little to protect me and my mother had to go through hell to change things for me. in my memory the culprit was a classmate of mine, who would also get other boys to watch, but for the longest time i have the blurry memory that there was an adult there, a cook lady also involved in different capacities, laughing, telling him what to do and staying with me afterwards, opening the closet door for him, even holding me touching me, its all so blurry. she also would not let me go piss to the point where i pissed myself and sat in my soils for hours. it has made me disgusted with myself for remembering and for forgetting at the same time, and the fact that my whole family knew for the longest time and dismissed it as something small that i won't even remember and leaving it to my poor mother who had to deal with my wounds and trauma and nightmares and screams and detachment... imagining your 5yo having utis constantly and having to explain the situation to doctors makes me scream and i am still so angry and fearfull. i don't know how people have children
the boy who did it kept reminding me any time i would encounter him later in life, we went to the same school for two years when i was 7-8 and he would leave notes for me. and therapists have encouraged me to forgive and recognise he was also a child dealing with his own trauma and he did have to change groups because of what he did but i the pride he displayed is something i can't forget and it makes me lose faith in people any time my brain recalls it.
huge part of it is how mind-blowingly poor my country was in 2000s. our kindergarten group was 50 people with 2 teachers changing shifts, the cook had to take care of kids. and i feel this was largely preventable and i hate my family for putting me in that situation. and this is the first time im saying it, but i do, i do hate them. worse happened to me in the years after which was also ignored and minimized. i will never feel clean i will never feel normal i ran away so far and cringe at the thought of going back home and facing these buildings, the backdrop of my abuse.
i agree with you, we have so normalised sexualising children in the balkans, to the point where adults don't recognise sexual abuse as such. i grew up wanting to be ugly, wanting to be undesirable, i would fall on purpose so my legs scar, and keep my arms and pits hairy, i hid my face under my hair and cried for days when they forcefully cut it. i was glad when i broke my nose and even when I chipped my tooth because it made my smile all crooked. my mum was not talking to me, and sadly proclaimed it made me ugly. and i know it did, i knew it undercut my value but was that really so bad?my dad had always commented on my looks so much and how fat my ass is and how undesirable i am but from him it felt different. i had to walk that line my whole life and am completely exhausted.
tbh, ive never said it all so firmly and coherently, i am just dropping it here because i know you will understand and pray for me in your own way, the same i do when i experience your writing. i feel like all concrete that we have to walk on in this wretched world is seeing each other. nothing is unknowable and noone is invisible. and only thing that has helped me in my life has been knowing and seeing others, and letting their pain mark my soul in a prayer.
hey anon <3 i published this bc i wanted to give an answer and i think it can b helpful and a little less lonely at times for other ppl to hear other ppls experiences, but pls send me a message and let me know if you want me to delete this and i will
im really sorry for all that u went through. its just horrible and i wish you hadnt and im sorry and i wish i could give you a hug, but thank u for opening up to me. i do very much get it. im glad my rambelings have been of some comfort, thats part of why i keep this blog as a public diary and im rather unfiltered, bc id hope ppl who have been through similar things would find some solace in knowing theyre not. alone w it.... i thought i was alone w a lot of things for a such a long time.. i didnt say anything about anything for such a long time. youre right, you said it well. the world is so often such a cruel and cold, vile deranged nightmare and i think one of the only things that really matters is caring about other people and not letting all the bullshit kill your soul...one of the only things thats kept me sane is knowing other people who fucking get it. i hope finally being able to write it out has been of some help. i will v much keep u in my prayers <3 and feel free to reach out or vent anytime
... and yes the povery is in general a rly big issue in a lot of this and issues related to it i feel. growing up at my kindergarten it wasnt quite as bad, but we had two teachers to watch... 40+ kids at least and things would often get out of hand and yea, with us the cook or other random facility would often have to watch us too. as the years went on the school had less money and it got worse. i remember during naptime there wouldnt b enough teachers to watch us or theyd just fuck off and not care so this group of mean,, particularly girls but some boys would literally step on us and jump on us and say mean shit etc etc. and i remember for so many years going to the bathroom as girls was just a nightmare - wed all go together bc going alone was too dangerous and when we tried some of us ended up w boys trying to barge into the stalls and pulling at our underwear and trying to get their hands in more than once and we got sick of it,, so some girls would always have to stay in the door and try to keep it shut bc boys were so vehement on barging in. gross af, and it was scary, even at that age they were like demons and sex pests, and the teachers that were there far from did a good job at keeping that shit under control.... and im really sorry again. any adult who does that sort of shit is just deranged - the sort who work around kids only to have access to them and feel power. if it makes you feel a lil better, in kindergarten there was this woman who was particularly,,, cold, who just would not let me go to the bathroom during naptime for what seemed like no other reason than her being a cruel controlling bitch - which, having a bad bladder and utis and never being able to fall asleep, and being afraid to go to the bathroom at a normal time bc of the boys, i almost always needed to. and she wouldn't let me and shed insult me and threathen to beat me if i asked, i think one time at least she did actually beat me, so id either spend that time trying not to go which really fucking hurt, or not being able to help it and having to deal w the aftermath. and of course shed get mad at me for that too. gross and frustrating and i really hated her
.... but yea. i think the poverty and things being normalized in the balkans and children being more vulnerable are connected. like to an extent its an education and poverty issue bc not only is it normalized in society but many ppl have no idea what the signs of sa on a kid are, so they dont know what to look out for even if they cared, and they're not educated on ,, basic child psychology. or theyre so overworked they dont have the time, or they emigrate to another country to work and leave their kids with extended family who also dont know.... even the huge trafficking issue we have. so much of that has to do w poverty and desperation and taking advantage of vulnerable poor kids and teens. even the teen pregnancy and high infant mortality rate we have,, lack of education, poverty, and the normalization of adult men sleeping w teenage girls.....most of the women in my family think 12-14 year old girls can consent to adult men its absolutely fucking wack, but i guess considering we had child marriages and bridal kidnappings barely any time ago, thats bound to b the case........ youre right. what you went through and what i went through could have absolutely been preventable if things werent so overcrowded and there was proper supervision and facilities and education around this sort of stuff
....
im sorry the adults near you failed to protect you, and im sorry your family failed to protect you. youre totally right to be angry and pissed off, i get why u blame them and hate them. it was indeed their responsability, and all they did was minimize and diminish your pain... im glad to hear your mother stuck up for you though... it really is painful. so many balkan adults seem to think they can do basically anything they want to children and it wont matter - like theyre some sort of toys or things or property idk - this idea that they're too young or its not that bad is so stupid when infact children are so much more impacted by things than adults are. you deserved better than them. and on the flip side it just. sucks to hear them defend this sort of behavior. i remember id complain abt boys being sex pests but it was always dismissed as Me not being nice to them or some stupid bullshit abt how thats how they show affection or theyre just stupid or theyre just cute or whatever, ive heard it all. it was maddening. in elementary school we had this boy in our class who was particularly bad. i think he must have been watching pornography already. hed make the grossest sexual comments twoards us, hed grope us, etc. i think it took like two bloody years for him to finally be switched out of the classroom, noone rly cared for the longest time and kept making excuses until finally my friends mom had enough .... it really is insane to think of the sheer amount of shit thats been normalized in the balkans. treating your kids like property, beating them, insulting them, sexualizing or groping or molesting them, letting other kids do that to them, letting adult men have relations w teenage girls??? - and if you speak out against any of it, youre in the wrong. seven fucking hells, for gods sake i keep just sitting around wondering what the hell is wrong with us
.. also thats also always a thought that drove me insane. i cant imagine having a child and finding out she went through the things i did. it already freaks me out to b around little kids bc i always just remember what i went through and hope to god theyre ok and safe... i think i would actually lose it and start killing. i have no damn idea how so many others can just b so careless abt a childs pain
and also.. you dont. have to forgive him... i think you have to forgive yourself, you know? even in this message - you didnt have the brains to protect yourself.. girl, you didnt need to have the brains to protect yourself, you didnt fail at protecting yourself and that's why this happened.... its not your fault. you were five for gods sake, dont put that on yourself please <3 ....personally ive never liked when therapists say shit like that. you and i have been molested and yet we havent molested any kids, so whats their fucking excuse, huh? for all the shit ive been through ive never taken it out on anyone like that, so whats theyre excuse? there isnt one.... and especially the shit w reminding you afterwords is just so cruel, its outright sadistic... i know what you mean abt recalling it and losing faith in humanity, its hard not to when youve seen some of its worst and cruelest and sickest sides.... it always makes me lose faith when its in partical kids being.. borderline fucking evil, like this shit, or the increse in boys raping younger girls. this species has an inclination twoards sadism and cruelty, and particularly men and boys seem to. its bone chilling and vile. but. but.... for all of the cruelty and depravity of humankind, there has most certainly been a moving level of empathy, care, and beauty, and i do think... most ppl.. want to be good and strive to b good. i think most people are born good idk
.... but many of us sure as fuck have seen a lot of the bad. i know it only helps so much to hear, because i know the skin crawling disgust that all this breeds. it feels like being fucking cursed or banded or marked or diseased or something, like something is just instrinsically wrong and unclean with you... i never feel like ill be some sort of near normal either. never have been and never will be - but i try to just live with that.. it is what it is. but.. youre no more disgusting, or gross, or dirty or pathetic than i am,.. you know? youre not. those things can only be said abt those who did this to you. im sorry it all turned out like this, but.. idk. im glad that it sounds like you're away from your family. i hope youre safe and in a better place where you can heal from all this. sorry i kinda rambeled on, but im sending you hugs and may some peace and rest from all this come your way soon <3
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icedmetaltea · 2 years
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i can't help myself. i see a friend reblog an ask game and i start RUNNING-
but uuuh how about #9, #13/14, and/or #10! Maybe #19 and #20 but i'm already asking you a lot so feel free to answer whatever one!
Never too many questions! I love to answer them and talk ya'lls ear off🥰 Thanks so much!
9. what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else? -
I... I hate to say this, such a boring answer, but I feel pretty neutral about them?? Like, how do I explain this, like when I was a tiny kid I wasn't freaked out by clowns or creepyass robots like ppl my age were (I still remember going to a circus once and being completely serene while my siblings fuckin bawled their eyes out when they saw clowns gitrogjvorejgiro). In a way I suppose I also just find their designs appealing. They aren't pretty (well at least not traditionally so~), they have flaws, and that makes them so interesting.
But give canon sun like, normal black pupils and oh my god THEN I'm scared gjeurogujeiguierjiogjfsd
13/14. thoughts on pre-glitch sun/moon? -
I love seeing all the different takes on them! The funny thing is I find a lot of the time I write fics (stares at my trunk full of drafts) I tend to just straight-up ignore canon, like the virus never existed to begin with. That's partially cause I dislike heavy angst and partially cause it's fun to imagine they could act irrationally without any glitch (like a virus-free Sun who gradually becomes unhinged all on his own?? *chefs kiss*)
10. what keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the dca had? -
I will hyperfixate on shit for ages regardless of how much actual content there is. I find fan content is almost always much more thought-provoking than the source material since you get all these amazing artists/writers pouring their hearts into stuff. That's what keeps me around (plus the ideas that keep plaguing my head that need an OUTLET)
19. do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl? -
To be honest I probably wouldn't meet them irl since I'm mega socially anxious and would never wanna be in a big pizzaplex, let alone around loudass kids. Buuuut hypothetically if it did happen... they'd most likely think I'm unfriendly since I naturally act uninterested/standoffish around ppl I have a crush on cause they make me so nervous, so they'd prolly just ignore me tbh ; - ; Then I always start feeling inferior and unlovable and hide in my lil shell till I go hide in a bathroom #Feelsbadman (that's the beauty of fictional husbands amirite)
20. free space! talk about whatever's on your mind! - I'm watching the Sandman rn and it's rlly good imo, the visuals are stunning
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borkadonk · 1 year
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fuck it, infodumping another unnecessarily edgy au
this one’s older and bread focused, i had art for it but i forgor lmao i’ll see if i can find em
red room/snuff film production au ft. evon tost n brodn, a pretty rare trio i know once again im just making content that specifically caters to myself leave me alone - it was brodins idea, this is basically just an evil brodin au but cranked into overdrive - brodin somehow manipulated yvonne to cooperate, either through bribery or blackmail, cuz snuff films gets more traction when the executers are girls, even better cuz she used a schoolgirl gimmick - they kidnap and film at very degen hours - idk if this takes place in the old otv house or what but yvonne toast and brodin are roommates - toast was awake at those hours once and heard a commotion in the basement, specifically a muffled screaming and sudden silence - toast went to the basement thinking they were having a movie night or sumin, nope - brodins reflexes is fast as fuck he conked toast out with his camera before he could even say anything - yvonne went oh god oh fuck what do we do, brodin just went guess we filming twice tonight - turns out toast went out like a light and he woke up at daytime which of course they cant film, so they just left him tied up in the basement while explaining to him what he saw and what they've been doing cuz they thought he at least deserved to know as a friend before he dies - while waiting for night time toast asked for shit like contacting his family at least n whatnot, they denied it all of course and just let him write a will instead - night falls its filming time, yvonne dismembered toast with a chainsaw, more eagerly than she usually is lmao - after its done they stuffed his parts in a bag and while they were dragging it to the car to drive to the incinerator, they heard it scream - toast was still alive, very much in pain but conscious, all 3 of em were confused how lmao - yvonne thought she didn't finished the job but right before she stabbed his head, brodin stopped her - he remembered that regeneratives exist and thought toast might be one - they brought him back to the house and tried to put him back together, all his limbs stuck back to normal within a few minutes - they were all disbelieved for a moment, then brodin remembered they still had to decide what to do with toast now that he knows about their shady project, they cant just let him go and snitch - toast, not wanting to be incinerated, offered to be a reoccurring victim for their films - yvonne hesitated cuz she thought ppl wont wanna watch the same person die over and over again, but brodin denied by saying that snuff films of regeneratives already exist and they do just as well, so they accepted his offer - toast took this as an opportunity to practice acting - well he didn't need to put effort into acting at first cuz it was more like method acting, he still feels pain everytime it happens but overtime he gets used to it and learned to exaggerate his reactions - yvonne hated the job even more now that she had to work with toast
also bonus siwo reaction (yeah u can see from the dates how old this au is)
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excaive · 2 years
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Do we know anything about KJ's family at all? I don't remember seeing anything about you ever mentioning them, and the stuff of them younger that we've seen they don't seem like... they would be the most present people? At the very least, KJ doesn't seem like the type to have had the most stable childhood.
Well this is extremely telling about me, but like none of my ocs have had stable childhoods and the stuff I have written about their childhoods are just simple skeletons to give myself an idea of how they end up in the present and connect with and relate to each other - and the majority of them don't have any contact with their parents if they aren't straight up dead lol
I haven't really written down anything about KJ's past or status with relatives, but they grew up emotionally neglected and felt very alienated from others bc of ocd and intrusive thoughts which just translated into off-putting behavior to others, so for a long time KJ tried really hard to act normal so they could hang out with others bc they had a really strong desire to be with others and make people laugh, but as a result of supressing their own emotions in favor of being able to hang out with other people, they ended up with a lot of self-loathing because of their ocd bc if they didn't act odd to begin with they would've been able to make friends - and even when they end up as the eccentric freak they are in the present who doesn't supress their behavior to be palatable to others and have plenty of friends;
their self-loathing is still very much there. and despite having many friends who they care about a lot and make laugh and generally just have a ton of fun together, KJ is incapable of letting anyone in close to care about them back and they put a lot of effort into distracting people from the fact they don't actually know anything about KJ even if they've been friends for a long time. KJ avoids giving opportunity for anyone to express worry or care about them bc if you think KJ is anything but fine and dandy and want to be there for them, they'll take that as pity and they get kind of a visceral reaction to that and if you're unlucky enough, they'll act hostile enough for you to never want to interact with them again </3
but yeah, KJ doesn't have any prior experience with it being fine talking about how they actually feel or had anyone who were capable of teaching them that talking about feelings is okay and it is very much connected to them suppressing their behavior to act normal so ppl would not actively avoid them for being weird growing up.
(also just to clarify I'm talking about KJ prior and within the timeframe of the main story of Black Orbit. I've been posting about KJ and Roger post-story recently where they are dating, so like enough stuff happened for KJ to be able to be in a place to be vulnerable enough to have that type of relationship with someone)
That said, KJ probably still has contact with their mom and loves her a lot and she cares about them, but like for various reasons while growing up she was lacking in being able to be there emotionally for KJ - everything else was not bad, but also not great, y'know?
I don't talk about ocs' parents a lot bc it's not really relevant to them in the present or in the story. I know I've mentioned Cass' mom before briefly but also if you end up wondering why I never mention any of my ocs' dads that's because I can't write shit about a relationship I don't know anything about lol
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thinfatfit · 2 years
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Hiya there! Idk if you remember me but I asked you about advice on seeking therapy, the routes and what to expect.
I finally saw a doctor today who referred me to a psychologist. And suspiciously enough I have the appointment tomorrow and a video meet the following day! I say suspiciously because it's a lot sooner than I ever would have expected and I'm nervous. 😅
But I guess the purpose for this ask is, do you have any advice? What to expect from first hand experience or just something you've learned from entering therapy?
I wanted to speak to them about medication for my depression/anxiety but also happy to talk about other options. More than happy give my family never helped with their, "drs want to just make money, they made people addicted, ect ect.."
I'm really nervous. Idk how long this appointment will last, I'm overthinking what I should be wearing, idk how indepth I should go.
Hope you know none of this is on you and there is no worries if you can't or choose to not answer. Thank you ❤️
hey! yes i do remember! that's great news, congrats on taking this step!!!! and good luck <3.
just want to preface what i'm saying by saying that this is all just based on my own personal experiences and i don't know anything for sure as facts or anything about actual health and bodies.
regarding medication, i take meds and they've helped me a lot, but i know that everyone has different experiences. afaik, most antidepressants aren't addictive so that's not really something you have to worry about. i know that the meds i take aren't addictive. i think that's a concern for some short-term anti-anxiety meds (like valium that you might take if you're in a stressful situation in the moment) or for adhd meds and things like that. but my normal everyday antidepressants don't really have that issue i don't think. and i know some ppl are afraid of taking meds, and this is just my personal opinion, but one thing i always say is that if it's not going well for you.... you can just stop taking them (under supervision from your dr). like.... just because you decide to try them doesn't mean you have to take them forever. you can take them and then see how it goes. you also might have to try a few different types before you find what's right for you (for example, i first tried zoloft but it wasn't the best for me then tried prozac and it was better but not the best fit so went to effexor and took that for a while but eventually switched to lexapro - all under my dr's guidance). so just bc the very first meds you try aren't working for you, doesn't mean that none will.
i feel like you don't have to worry too much about what you wear! like.... anything is good i think as long as it's not like super fancy or like a bikini lol. like sometimes if i'm coming from school or work i'm a bit more dressed up but sometimes i'm just wearing shorts and a tshirt.
and i think it's probably a good idea to write down point form notes of what you want to talk about and bring that with you to refer to. you could also write at the top or with stars the things you want to discuss for sure and mention that at the start.
and i feel like it's their job to guide the convo and the session! so don't worry too much about that, especially the first time. you can always make that one of the things you ask, if for some reason they don't really guide things at the start, you can say "can you tell me about what i can expect from this appointment?" and ask about how the future will go like "how often will we meet? when will our next appointment be?" etc.
i hope this is helpful!!!! i know it's suuuuper long lolol.
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