#but i can't figure out how to say it

[musicalchaos07]

Something about Jonathan and Will building Castle Byers and that being the place where he hides in the Upside Down.

#just like the boys and castle byers and should i stay or should i go and the themes of safety and I'm #if I think about the Byers Brothers for too long I'll cry #there's also something else in here about Will destroying it and Jonathan being distance and the themes there #but i can't figure out how to say it #and like OBVIOUSLY there's another thing about should i stay or should i go and that song being safe for Will #and that like after his and Jonathan reconciliation at the end of s4 we're most likely opening S5 with it #like #*goes feral* #stranger things #jonathan byers #will byers #Byers Brothers

[egophiliac]

this is basically what happened, right?

(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them #can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks! #fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out) #also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side. #he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble #once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head. #anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours #but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious #specifically because you know silver would NEVER. #100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him. #lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c #silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father. #lilia: #lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids #you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would #he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along. #(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him) #i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations #but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there #sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there. #and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too #but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.

[spocks-kaathyra]

experimenting w making little trek dolls for the STLV craft swap :))

#sisko first bc idk how I'm gonna make hair LMAO but isn't he so cute?? #made the doll a while ago but I just made his little outfit today and yesterday :)) #hopefully giving them away for free means no one will mind the shoddy craftsmanship lmao #I think I've set a new record for terrible hand sewing. and there's raw edges on the inside. and none of the thread is the right color #but WHO CARES HES SO CUTE!!!! #it's the early ds9 uniform bc I've been watching voy and I'm sooo enamored with their uniforms ugh I need to make an actual life size one #watching voyager will have u saying things like. surely it can't be that hard to sew an invisible zipper?? #anyways. need to figure out how to make hair so I can make characters other than him and picard 💀💀 #ds9 #star trek #benjamin sisko #deep space nine #captain sisko #narcissus's echoes #narcissus plays dress up #(?)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023

#apollo don't fucking touch this one #serious post #not a shitpost #hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day #fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists #i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it. #so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you? #what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown #at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal #i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid #like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies #and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line #probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored #luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap! #watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry #while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent #also eggs are $15

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art. #It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off. #Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways! #There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough' #only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize - #-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*) #And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans. #The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement. #I really can't describe how grateful I am. #Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out. #Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house. #But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants. #I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry. #Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.

[britomart]

[image descriptions: a series of posts/images about being scared.

1. a tumblr post reading: charlottan: looks around zkzm500lar: gets scared

2. a youtube comment from jigs villaranda reading "...........gets more scared" 3. a tweet reply from liam gallagher reading "im scared"

4. a tweet reply from angie @insertalterego1 reading: "did you watch sir macca at glasto last night?" liam gallagher responds: "i didn't too scared"

5. tumblr post from charlottan: "i'm so scared of everything all the time forever" 

6.  tweet from liam gallagher: "no i'm scared for my life"

7. tumblr post from peternureyev reading: [guy who forgot to take his scared-prevention pills] why am i so scared right now

8. a screenshot of a youtube video from platinum drone productions entitled "how to wash a kitten without making it to scared". the thumbnail is of a hand reaching out to a small ginger kitty.

9. tweet from liam gallagher: "still too or to or 2 or two scared"

10. an excerpt from a book reading "scared of neil young 306"

/end descriptions.]

#was going to post this w/o comment though actually i will say hi charlotte if you see this :-) #anyways. so scared #copied the alt texts to an image description bc it's more accessible but now i can't figure out how to remove the alt text....... #i'll figure it out but sorry if it reads it twice!

[eyes-of-nine]

truly what a guy

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #john doe #john malevolent #my art #ahfdgfghsdd i have so many important things to do but these two have overtaken all of my waking thoughts so i'm fucked to say the least #adgfd i just wanna talk about them with someone but no one i know has the energy for that 12h long infodump #straight up today was my first truly no work day in a few weeks and what did i do? spent half the day figuring out how i want to draw arthur #still not sure if this the direction i wanna take his design in but somehow along the process he ended up as like my ideal look on masc days #tbh i don't have the time to unpack whatever that says about me ywy #john's design is very much still a first draft but i can't think about it too much or i might just actually go insane #this podcast makes me unwell(affectionate) #the universe is so evil for not letting me just draw them all day long ywy #in an ideal world it would be no diploma no uni applications only malevolent #.....i'm gonna stop with the rambling now #so yeah go listen to malevolent

[disc0bandit]

#dream of the endless #delirium of the endless #delirium sandman #morpheus sandman #sandman fanart #sandman fanart by me #matthew the raven #take your depressed concept out for a walk so he won't have time to self destruct #Can you see how the page was bubbling in the scanner? i can't figure out how to get rid of that without erasing the whole page #thinking about del and matthew hanging out is very fun for me #i love barnabas but i just love matthew more what can i say

[onlinehorseproblems]

trying to figure out how to put "carol and the end of the world isn't about the ending of the world but it is but it ISNT but-" into words

#carol and the end of the world #adult animation #carol kohl #it's about community #and it's about now #but also not #AUGHGHHH #AHHHHHHHGGHHHH #bangs heads into smash i can't figure out how to say it #loneliness is so real and how once it's starts you get trapped in it #i saw someone say this show is pro work and NOOO ITS NOT ITS NOT ABOUT THAT #people yearn for normalcy #carol at the end of the 10 shows that she didn't want to go to work and have a job #but the creation of a reason to be together #happy hour #fhe office created a place for people to go #have simple #normal average conversations #tbh i'm pretty sure this is kinda about late stage capitalism and community but i don't have the words

[kitespark]

sorry to all of you white middle aged man lovers out there but shane madej subtly shifting the blame with the whole 'steven, talk about money' feels like a pathetic way to salvage the hip leftist uncle persona he's got going on and you all are waiting for him to return to your embrace like some prodigal son who was forced and didn't go on his own accord

#watcher #they've literally spoken about how all the financial issues fell on steven to figure out #even if steven was the only one pushing for this (which i doubt) shane should've put in time and effort to learn more about his company #you can't put him in a safety bubble saying he didn't want this if all he can do is stay passive #all three of them suck equal amounts of ass in this situation stop telling ryan and shane to separate #they literally own 2/3rds of the company if they didn't want this they could've said so

[fictionadventurer]

What was the point of Scrooge's trip with the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come? On a structural level, it makes sense--three is the fairy tale number, and you can't visit the past and present without also including the future--but on a character level, it doesn't quite seem necessary. Showing a man that he'll die alone, unloved, and unmourned seems like the strategy you take as the last-ditch effort to convince a guy that he needs to change his ways. But that situation doesn't apply to Scrooge. He started softening immediately after he first arrived in his past. By the time he finished with the Ghost of Christmas Present, he was fully onboard with the need to reform, so the Ghost's vision of his future seems like unnecessary cruelty. Why show him all this when he was already planning to change his ways?

A few things come to mind. One is that this vision of the future wouldn't have affected Scrooge unless he had already changed his ways. A cold, hard businessman could have seen his lonely death as just the way of the world, might have viewed the people who stole the clothes from his corpse as just people doing what's practical in this world. He needed to relearn the value of the intangibles--human connection, respect for others--to see the true horror of the lonely death and the vultures who defiled the dead man.

But why the horror? Can't he reform without being threatened with doom? It's possible--but it's also possible such a reform would be temporary. After all, Scrooge started as a friendly, loving young man, but retreated into himself and his business out of fear of poverty and fear of the way the world looks down upon poor people. Even if a reformed Scrooge started on a course of Christmas charity, there was always a chance that the enthusiasm would fade, and the worldly fears would start creeping back in. The only way to beat those fears is to give him something to fear that's even worse than poverty. He needs to see the horrible end that his selfish ways would lead to, so he won't be tempted to slide back into them.

There's also the fact that seeing his death makes him ecstatically happy to find that he's alive after the Ghost is gone. Had Scrooge been spared the vision of his future, he might have been happy to find himself on Christmas Day, but his joy would have been nowhere near the manic glee he experiences after coming back from the future. Now, he doesn't just get a new start--he gets a second chance. Coming back from his own grave makes him mindful of his death, but it also makes him hyperaware of the fact that he's still alive. He isn't in the ground yet. He still has time to do good and make connections with others so he doesn't die alone.

Seeing the past reminded him of the innocence he'd lost. Seeing the present reminded him of the people whose lives he was missing out on. Seeing the future reminded him that death is waiting, so it's important to live virtuously while we can. All three are important because all three brought him outside of himself and taught him to value the wider world, just in time to live through another Christmas Day.

#a christmas carol #charles dickens #once again i've ponderously worked my way to the explicitly stated moral of the story #but i had to work my way there because stave 4 left me unsettled #had i been scrooge that trip probably would have squashed any desire i had to reform #the ghost *doesn't say* whether or not the future can be changed #what if this is just proof he's doomed no matter what so why bother changing? #fortunately scrooge was much better than i was about logic #namely: no reason to show him this future if it *can't* be changed #the point of these ghosts is to save him from marley's fate #plus we did have the ghost of christmas present's implications that future shadows can be changed #it's kind of interesting when you step back from familiar stories that just go this way because it's how they're supposed to go #and really dig into 'wait a minute. why did it go like this?' #it usually winds up with me figuring out that the writer knew what they were doing #but it's also nice to see the scaffolding that got us to the story

[evakant]

wei wuxian scolding jiang cheng in the burial mounds about not remembering what the wen siblings did for them vs jiang cheng earlier on standing up for him in front of all the sect leaders saying "you all might not know this but the person wei wuxian saved and his sister helped us a lot during the war" and getting promptly shut down by nie mingjue (the wen clan that massacred lotus pier? is literally what he says, out loud, to everyone)

edit: now with visual aids !!!!

#though lan xichen tries to smooth things out by saying he also #remembers the wen siblings as being different from the wen they all fought during the war #fra.txt #untamed.txt #yunmeng shuangjie #jiang cheng #i wanted to make a gifset but i can't figure out how to put the two scenes together rn so maybe later #it's just.... long scenes #i'm guessing two columns each with one of them but then i have to match up the conversations #and again it'll be tricky and i just don't want to right now lmao

[transcarcinization]

datas from old sketchbook. we r making progress, slowly

#you know what they say. if u can't figure out how to draw something w your brain there is always pure brute force #this is mostly for me to have a way to track progress so i dont lose my mind #my art #ill put the ones from my current sketchbook once i have a little more

[canisalbus]

genuinely CANNOT get over how you draw your boys comfy in bed. holy shit. how do you do that. the vibes...... immaculate........... so floppy and poofy and snuggly..................... teach me, sensei 😔😔😔 cloth is a nightmare lmao

yeah but no keep up the good work!!!!!

.

#thank you! #big fan of soft beds #and comfiness #cloth is difficult I agree #I can't really articulate how to get better at depicting it #I think I personally just went through years of trial and error until I sort of figured out how it behaves #and even then I only get it right some of the time #do studies compare the thickness and weight of different materials and always take gravity into consideration I'd say #BE the fabric #answered #gaylittlepackrat

[lynxgirlpaws]

Thinking about that time I went downtown and saw these lmao

#New Haven #Yale #i haven't been in awhile but it's been a LONG time since i've seen posters this objectively funny #“EXCUSE ME!! are you silly goofy strange offputting or otherwise different” #people should say that more. #transgender #look at my posters chat #Connecticut #also funny how I saw the trans posters and was like “wonder why this speaks to me so much” [clueless] #lmfao #literally just seeing the trans flag out in the wild always made me :) and i never thought enough to figure out why that may be #lol #scremaing and crying bc not a yale student so can't interact with how funny these fucking posters are #wharevcer #not like i go outside often anyways lmfao #196 #y'all would like these i think

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind