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#but i mean assuming u just push thru that feeling; it WOULD be an okay way of keeping yourself going for longer?
potpiehead · 11 months
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would drinking corn syrup (like 8oz) be an effective way to give yourself a major boost of energy for a short period of time provided you had no better option and you needed it. Or would you actually just feel ill and tired and be better off not drinking it at all. And I mean if you genuinely have no better option. like your other choice would be to eat cake sprinkles or raw flour or something
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manonblaqkbeak · 3 years
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Dating and Goodreads
Back for Day 8-Blind date (how the hell do u guys come up with good title fics i struggle so bad lol). I wasn’t really going anywhere with this one, but when i read all of the others and saw how fun the fics were, i decided to finish this one.
also for Summertime and Fresh Strawberries, I deliberately left it blank but I can’t hold onto the secret bc two people were curious as to what happened, so i’ll let the rest of you know that aelin and rowan decided to keep summer and be a cute little family, bc im a sucker for happy endings lol (unless its angst, it’s safe to assume that all my rowaelin fics have happy endings bc they’ve all ready been thru so much and even in alt fics i need them to be happy lmao)
anyway, on to the next one. hope you enjoy!
1.8k words
cw: none
Aelin was a confident woman, something that she was proud of. But that didn't mean that there weren't times she didn't feel self-conscious or awkward and full of doubt.
Because right now, all those negative feelings were swimming inside of her.
And those feelings were just magnified today, especially since she had gotten fired only a few hours beforehand. It was utterly unexpected, she had never received any prior warnings, and while she was a fighter, Aelin didn't feel like stepping into the ring for this one. Not when her boss was a demon from hell that made life unbearable and she had to physically push herself into entering the work building.
Aelin told herself that it was for the best. She was miserable there and hated working in an office typing up the worlds most boring reports and working in a space that was entirely too drab.
But she wasn't looking forward to job hunting. Aelin was aware that she could ask her friends for favours, but if Aelin did something wrong, she didn't want it reflected back onto whoever helped her.
And she was still a little peeved over the damned argument she had online again with that haughty prick on Goodreads. Aelin wasn't sure why those arguments kept going, but each time she would post a review, White Tailed Hawk would respond, telling her that she read the book wrong and this and that and blah blah blah.
Aelin repaid the favour each time, telling him how he was wrong and he had no reading comprehension skills. And on and on it went until Aelin or whoever the fuck that guy was went back to their own lives.
Depressingly, it was the most fun she had some days.
Shaking her head, Aelin forced herself to think of the now and not of her shitty day. Still she sighed, not quite believing that she had agreed to this blind date. Couldn't believe that she had let Aedion convince her it was a good idea.
Aelin had said no at first, after Aedion had voiced his offer, and her cousin left it at that. But days went past, and he would bring up the topic of Rowan, about the things he had said that day, how his dry sense of humour took some time to get used to but once you figured it out, he was actually pretty funny, how he had finished a project perfectly and this and that.
But it got to her, annoyingly. So the other day when he was helping her out with some housework that was a two person job, Aelin told him to set up this date. Aedion cheered as if it was the best thing he had ever heard, telling her how she and Rowan were the perfect match for each other.
Aelin rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything of the assessment.
She had only agreed because it was getting frustrating being asked at every family event if she was dating someone, when she was going to give her parents grandchildren (that question pissed her off the most, as if Aelin was nothing but a birthing machine and that was all Aelin could contribute to society), and who was going to look after her when she was old if she didn't have children (because apparently carers didn't exist).
Aelin was also lonely—she could entertain herself just fine, but she did like the idea of coming home and talking to someone that could respond. She loved Fleetfoot and her enthusiasm when Aelin came home, but human companionship would be nice.
But Aelin didn't have high-hopes for this date because the universe liked to kick Aelin's ass from time to time, she suspected that they were going to hate each other.
Taking a deep breath, Aelin got out of her car, smoothed down her romper and went inside the restaurant, head held high.
X X X X X X
Rowan couldn't believe that he was about to go on a blind date. That Aedion had convinced him to go out with his younger cousin. He hadn't dated anyone since Lyria and he knew that his dating skills were going to be rusty as hell. He had been with Lyria since they were nineteen, married at 23 and divorced at 31; he had been single for the last two years.
It had been...fine, a little strange, after being with someone for so long to find himself a bachelor. Rowan never thought that he would apart from Lyria, but their relationship had just faded. Long before the divorce, it had been more like a housemate relationship than a marriage. He wasn't surprised when his ex-wife had come home after work with divorce papers. He had only stared at the paperwork for an hour before he signed the forms. Truthfully, Rowan was just glad that he was still on good terms with Lyria, that they could still talk to one another from time to time.
Rowan had almost called her earlier today, to ask how the hell dates went, but felt that it would have been crossing some invisible line, so he didn't call and instead had Googled the questions instead.
They didn't really help.
Rowan drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, telling himself that if things went wrong, then it wasn't the end of the world. That if he had to be a bachelor for the rest of his life, then that was fine. He had plenty of ways of keeping himself busy—he had a good career, a nice house, plenty of books to read and to argue online about them with.
He had one earlier today, actually, with Queen of Wildfire about a new release that Rowan had eagerly read within days of its release. And once again, he ended up with an argument with the woman about the messages and themes within the book.
It was stupid, he knew, to be at his age and to be fighting online with a stranger, but something about this woman just had his fingers flying over the keyboard.
Some days he looked forward to it, as embarrassing as that was to admit. He didn't really want to look into himself to figure out what it all meant.
Eyes drifting to the dashboard, Rowan realised that his date was about to start. Popping a mint into his mouth and smoothing out his clothes, Rowan took a deep breath and left the car and went to his first date in twelve years.
Hopefully, it wouldn't be too bad.
X X X X X X
The date had started out a little awkward, but that wasn't a surprise to Aelin, because what blind date started smoothly?
It picked up after Rowan admitted that he was divorced and that he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do. Aelin appreciated that stark honesty and admitted that she too had no idea what to do.
Since then, the conversation went well, the food was good and Aelin had even swiped a few bites of his dinner because it just looked so much better than hers. Rowan had playfully grumbled underneath his breath, but smiled as he said it.
It was going really well. Maybe the universe had decided to give her a break for the rest of this evening. There was a part of her that maybe wondered if they would have sex, because the man did look fucking fantastic, but at the same time, she didn't want to rush anything in case this actually turned into something more.
“What's the dumbest thing that you've done recently or in the past?” Aelin asked. There was no such thing as small talk between them—Aelin had all ready asked if he believed in aliens and was glad when he said yes, because “it's ridiculous to think that we're alone in this wide universe of ours. It makes sense that there'd be other lifeforms out there.” Which was pretty damned close to Aelin's reasoning as well, so asking him about stupid moments felt like nothing in comparison.
Rowan smirked at the question and took a moment to think before answering. “I engage in online arguments.”
“Really? About what, exactly?”
“It's stupid. But my all my arguments occur on Goodreads of all places. Not Facebook, or YouTube, or Twitter, but Goodreads. It's never anything insulting but just arguments about how wrong some people's in depth reviews are.”
“Fair enough,” Aelin said, “I've been known to do the same thing as you. There's this one user on there, White Tailed Hawk—a stupid name if you ask me—and he just never...” Aelin stopped when she noticed that he stopped eating and was just looking at her weirdly. “Rowan? Are you okay?”
“Do you, by any chance, go under the name of Queen of Wildfire?”
Aelin blinked, and then blinked again, and once the pieces fell into place, she knew right then and there that the universe really hated her. She let out a harsh laugh, the sound echoing throughout the space. Aelin wasn't really sure what to say, because it was true what he said; it had never been insulting, but ending up on a date with the man she had regularly arguments with was just...she had no words, other then, “It really is a stupid name.” She took a sip of her wine, needing to do something other than wanting to bang her head against the table.
“I couldn't think of anything else to write.” And it wasn't also his favourite animal, he had told her that earlier.
They lapsed back into the awkward silence of earlier, both picking at their food.
But Aelin didn't want this night to go to waste. “It'd be stupid to let something as small as this get in the way of whatever this could be,” Aelin said, deciding to be blunt.
Rowan nodded. “It would be. Although I have to be honest, you really have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to Call of the Wild Winds.”
Aelin just about stormed off when she noticed his playful smile, his eyes sparkling bright. Laughing, Aelin threw a bread-roll at his handsome face, and once he caught it and split it in half for them to share, they went back to their earlier conversation.
And when Rowan walked her to her apartment door and kissed her on the cheek goodnight with a promise to text her later, Aelin couldn't help herself by telling him that all his opinions sucked and that he had no idea what he was talking about—all with a big smile on her face as Rowan sputtered as she closed the door on his face.
They spent the rest of the night texting, and all of Aelin's earlier woes faded away. And she looked forward to tomorrow, despite the horror of job hunting. Maybe the universe will finally let things turn around for the better for her.
Aelin went to sleep with a smile on her face, all because of White Tailed Hawk.
And on the other side of the city, Rowan also fell asleep with a smile on his face.
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meyerlansky · 3 years
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since I watched u play thru marble nest and you had all those withheld Thoughts and Opinions can I ask ur thoughts on one aspect of the story: the way everyone in town seems to disagree on what kind of person dankovsky is, what he wants to do, etc.? it feels to me like it's meaningful on a story and meta level that he's so built up by others to be whatever they want to see?
admittedly most of those went unsaid because i’m inarticulate as shit when i can’t write my thoughts out and i lost my train of thought talking to npcs, and also all of them basically just end in "godDAMN i love him"
BUT YES oh man i definitely agree, daniil is on the receiving end of a TON of projection and assumptions, and i think the thing is, he sort of... cultivates it? like artemy gets people's assumptions projected on him too, but he's MUCH more vocal about correcting it when someone's expectations of him don't match up with how he sees himself. daniil, on the other hand, tends to wear people's perceptions of him like a second skin, and doesn't push back nearly as hard or as often when those perceptions don't sync up. i will be nice to my dash and put my rambly bullshit under a cut, but tl;dr i think daniil finds value in finding out how people see him and utilizing that perception to get what he really wants, and he's willing to play the villain in particular because a. negative perception is as useful as positive perception if you're clever enough to use it to your advantage, and b. based on some stuff in artemy's route but especially based on the particular circumstances of marble nest, he thinks that, to some degree, he deserves to be thought badly of.
so i realized halfway through writing this you probably meant marble nest's story specifically, but i think it's relevant to his characterization in artemy's route too, because... marble nest daniil is not that different from artemy route daniil, as far as i'm concerned—he's just more desperate and more beaten down. as for the actual question, overall i get the vibe that daniil's used to leveraging how he's perceived to get what he needs out of a situation, and he's waaay more comfortable playing the villain than, say, artemy is, if that's what people are putting on him from jump. it's less work, right? correcting people's assumptions is a waste of valuable time and energy, and people are hard to convince once they've set their mind to something. why bother when you can just play along and, if you're clever enough about it, get what you need out of the interaction anyway? he gets built up into so many different versions of himself by different characters because he's willing to be different things to different people without it eroding his goals or his sense of self. he has a flair for the dramatic, obviously, but i don't know how much of it is innate and how much of it is cultivated in service of that kind of perception leveraging. like, prime example, the day 1 conversation with artemy reads as EXTREMELY performative—from his word choice to his demeanor to the exclamation points in the dialogue to the fucking LIGHTING, he comes off like he's playing a role, and not a new one. and when the conversation's over, he's learned some things about what kind of person artemy is, what kinds of things get a rise out of him, all without really revealing too much of his own hand. but the front sloughs off the closer he gets to artemy, and it sloughs off QUICK, to the point that A DAY AND A HALF LATER he's gone from saying "you owe me" in the most facetious way possible to "i need your help" and "if this goes badly, i'll take the consequences" completely unselfconsciously, and subsequent conversations with artemy are complete turnarounds from how he approaches artemy and their relationship on day 1. on the whole, i think he cares way less about his reputation than he does about Getting Shit Done, and he's surprisingly willing to be the scapegoat for other people's fears and other negative emotions, as long as the end result doesn't hamper his goals. which makes some sense considering his corpus of research involves spitting directly in the face of natural law and the people who consider themselves responsible for enforcing it. you don't do that kind of shit if you care about being well-liked. so i think 99% of the time, daniil gets read multiple ways—often incorrectly—because he finds more value in utilizing those perceptions than he finds in correcting them and Being Known. as far as characters we see in the game go, artemy's the exception, which might change once daniil's route is out, but every comment everyone else makes to artemy about daniil leans on their assumptions about him, which means he's not going around showing anyone else what he really thinks.
i also think daniil has sort of... internalized that he's Unlikable, on a personal level. he doesn't walk into a single situation in p2 expecting to be liked, or willingly helped, or for his presence to be wanted beyond the utility he can provide. he relies almost entirely on his ability to deliver solutions [with, uh, declining success as the game goes on], the respect his reputation and his status as the kains' guest confers, and on the rumor that he's willing to get violent if things don't go his way. i think he's utterly convinced his ultimate goals will benefit humanity as a whole and therefore are fundamentally good, but i don't think he thinks HE'S good. there's a couple of moments in marble nest where he can pretty explicitly shoot down people saying nice things about him, and the "i guess i had to prove them right" and "do you condemn me?" lines in the shelter convo do not read to me like the words of a man who thinks he's 100% in the right in the way he's gone about achieving his goals. so like as much as i think he does have a very solid sense of Who He Is, i don't think it's a very generous self-image, and i don't think it's entirely accurate either, because i do think he's fundamentally a good person, despite people [in the game and out of it] not really bothering to push past whatever front he's put on. artemy pushes through it, and the kids in marble nest push through it, and i think it's somewhat telling that the kids in marble nest are... the only real people IN marble nest. georgiy undermining his authority as soon as he's indisposed is part of the fever dream; the soldiers and orderlies believing he's the one giving the okay to kill kids and civilians are part of the fever dream; the clerk assuming daniil will agree with his racist bullshit is part of the fever dream. all these negative images of himself are in his head—based on previous conversations with the real people, but at the time of marble nest, in his head. they're all things he, somewhere in his mind, expects people to think of him or expect of him, and to me, that's not the kind of stuff someone as arrogant and convinced of his own awesomeness as people seem to think daniil is would think about himself. but the kids worrying about his health and taking care of him while he's infected are real, and for whatever reason they think he's worth trying to save. THAT'S the reality, THAT'S who he really is, even if he can't see it himself, and i don't think he can.
so ANYWAY i think the multiplicity of daniils in marble nest in particular is to some degree a manifestation of the fact that he IS willing to be different things to different people, that he knows this about himself, and that he has SOME level of anxiety over the thought of the various masks becoming the reality, and him losing control over who he ACTUALLY is, not just how he's perceived. i think this bothers him in artemy's route as well—the last thing he says to artemy translates to "the greatest power is to have power over oneself" and i do not think he's talking about himself. i think he's talking about artemy, and the fact that, ESPECIALLY from daniil's perspective in artemy's route, artemy very much controls not only his own narrative, but at the very least strongly influences daniil's and everyone else's too. [there are also layers and layers with that line and the doll narrative but i am too tired to get into it right now and also the doll narrative fucks my feelings up in so many ways.] i have no idea if any of this makes any sense, but here it is /gestures weakly at All This
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jaskiersvalley · 4 years
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just read thru ur whole blog instead of finishing my midterm that i forgot about that was actually due on march 17 and can i just say thank u i don't think i've ever enjoyed hours of procrastination this much 💕💕 (also rip in absolute pieces to the fact i actually have to work on my midterm now)
*Looks at calendar* Well, it only took me a month and a half to get to your ask. I do hope your midterm went okay and you managed to get it finished! While I’m super flattered that your procrastination involved my writing, I’m also feeling a little guilty for distracting you. In honour of the time lost and as thanks for your lovely ask, please have some time related angsty shenanigans.
CW for injury and character death (which is rectified through implication and screwing with time).
Time had a funny way of working. The war was in full swing, Jaskier traipsed after Eskel, writing songs about witchers and their deeds. But Nilfgaard had been gaining ground, there were whispers of a witcher with a child surprise that was taken from him. When winter came again, Jaskier couldn’t go to Oxenfurt, he’d been outed as a spy for the resistance and had a considerable bounty on his head. With nowhere else to go, Eskel offered him sanctuary at Kaer Morhen. He’d been there once or twice before, was familiar with Lambert and Vesemir. They often spoke of another, Geralt of Rivia. Sometimes they were fond, other times they cursed him.
This winter was different. A portal opened up one afternoon and a haggard looking witcher staggered through with a sorceress in tow. They snapped and snarled at each other, obviously tied by destiny against their will.
“Geralt,” Vesemir rose from his seat and looked over the two new arrivals. “What is the meaning of this?”
“Cirilla wants revenge.” Geralt coughed. “She thinks witchers stole her childhood. She wants to obliterate us all.”
There were murmurs from the others and they were all clamouring to get more information. In the end, they settled with some drinks so Geralt and Yennefer could explain. Jaskier listened raptly, sat next to Eskel and looking to him from time to time.
“Cirilla is hellbent on destroying and conquering. Nilfgaard had taken her from us.” Geralt looked utterly world weary. More so than a witcher usually did. Jaskier would know, he’d spent enough time with Eskel to pull him out from a mindset of exhausted self-loathing. It looked like Geralt could do with someone too.
“Yennefer and I were too busy arguing, at odds over where Cirilla would serve best. She wanted Aretuza, I thought Kaer Morhen. Anywhere but Nilfgaard would have been okay. But Cirilla had enough. After one too many arguments, she slipped away one night and went to Nilfgaard, probably to spite us. She now rules with an iron fist and has a thirst for vengeance.”
When Geralt broke off, Yennefer picked up, “There is no winning. She’s collected all manner of allies from rock trolls to dragons. The resistance is dying if not dead already.”
“So you came here to die?” Lambert spat, angry.
“We came here for help,” Geralt corrected sharply. “Yennefer and I weren’t enough. But we found a way that might change the future.”
“What could another witcher do that the White Wolf couldn’t?” Eskel asked.
“Nothing.” It was Yennefer who cut in. “But your bard might be what we need. At every key moment in time that Aretuza had been able to discern before it was obliterated, he was doing something significant. Not enough to change the tide of the war. We think that in a different timeline, where he is the court bard of Cintra, he will be able to influence Cirilla. I can create a time stone, he can pick a moment in time to jump back to and try and change this whole mess. The key objective is to ensure Cirilla likes witchers and sorceresses.”
If anybody had asked Jaskier, he would have called bullshit on the whole thing.
“We’ve seen how he worked wonders with witchers in the public, his songs about the Scarred Wolf and his deeds are sung across the Continent.” Yennefer finished. “I will make the stone and have it ready for tomorrow afternoon. So I will ask that we have a decent meal this evening as it shall be my last.”
Silence filled the room before Vesemir nodded. There was no other choice. Contracts were thin on the ground, people were turning against witchers once again and it seemed that Nilfgaard was coming to Kaer Morhen. That night, they ate and drank as much as they could, knowing that it would be their last.
Yennefer retired to a room. There was no fond farewell between her and Geralt but a slight grudging respect. That night, the witchers stayed up late, staring silently into the dying fire, making peace with their lot.
By morning, Nilfgaard was advancing on the keep, humans and monsters alike bore down the path.
“We’ll need to get Jaskier to the eastern clearing,” Geralt said. “Nothing else matters. Lambert, Eskel, you’ll take flank, Vesemir, you’re rear and I’ll take point. No matter what, we get the bard to the clearing with the stone.”
Everything was left behind in the keep, nothing to weigh them down, not like they were going to have anywhere to go from the clearing anyway. It was a dead end and no escape. In a way, it was brave of them to assume they would make it as far.
When Geralt left to retrieve the stone, he looked grim. It was in a bag, glowing red through the material.
“It’s all of Yennefer’s chaos and time granted to her. Don’t waste it.” Geralt shoved it at Jaskier. “We need to move out. Now.”
There was nothing left to do but go. As agreed, Jaskier was in the middle, hemmed in by four witchers. They started off at a light run, determined to get as much distance covered as possible before Nilfgaard caught up.
It started with small attacks. Forktails and dragons trying to pick them off. At least their swords and signs could fend against the worst, even if Lambert cursed at the burns that ended up covering his arms when caught by surprise from the side.
The creatures were gaining on them, while the witchers could pick up speed, Jaskier was a human and had much more severe limits. He panted and gasped even as Eskel tried to urge him on.
“Keep going we’re almo-” His words were cut off with a grunt as a leshen stepped out from the trees, caught him in his midriff and sent him crashing through the woods. Jaskier turned in time to watch a pack of werewolves jump at him, tearing him apart without mercy.
It was a lot harder to run when tears were blurring his eyes. Almost thirty years by Eskel’s side and this was the unfitting end. Jaskier wanted to stop and cry but Geralt was moving on while Lambert and Vesemir took posts just behind and to the side, completing a triangle.
The clearing wasn’t too far now, it couldn’t be. To Jaskier it had felt like they’d been running for hours. From ahead, there was the whistle of arrows and he ran harder. A thump from behind and Jaskier turned, letting out a strangled gasp.
“Don’t turn around. Keep going.” Lambert snarled as he took rear post, Vesemir lost behind them with arrows riddling his body.
Up ahead, Jaskier could see the clearing and he pushed harder, knowing that some kind of rune circle would help him with the time stone. Someone grabbed him from behind and all but threw him into the clearing. He landed with a pained cry and watched just in time for a dragon to snatch Lambert while another attacked Geralt.
“Jaskier!” Geralt yelled. He was on the ground, blood coating half his face, matting his hair. “The stone. You have to!”
With trembling hands, Jaskier pulled the stone out. He could see Lambert’s broken body not far from Geralt and he sobbed. All he had to do was think of Cintra and then he’d be pulled back in time to the point where he could fix things. Because this wasn’t the end he’d hoped for, neither for himself, nor his witchers. The whole continent was a ghastly, tyrannical place. Soon there wouldn’t be anywhere that was free of Nilfgaardian brutality and oppression.
“Please,” Geralt begged and Jaskier looked him in the eyes, watched as he lay there, not even trying to evade the soldier who raised his sword. Squeezing his eyes shut, Jaskier still heard the sound the blow made. He didn’t want this. Clutching at the time stone, he wished and wished hard.
The world shifted around him, years fell away, aches and pains along with old injuries disappeared. Jaskier opened his eyes mid song, in a tavern. He was eighteen again, a whole life ahead of him. It wasn’t Cintra, that was for sure. Some backwater settlement on the edge of the continent. Looking around while singing, he tried to figure out what he was doing in such a shithole. As he spun, he spotted a figure in the corner, alone and brooding. White hair, armour, nobody going near him. He’d recognise Geralt anywhere. Finishing his song and being pelted by bread, Jaskier took a breath. If this was his mission, he’d accept it. Eskel had been a wonderful travel companion but time obviously thought he was the wrong witcher if they wanted to survive Nilfgaard’s attempts. Jaskier took a deep breath, thinking “well then”, it was time to make things right.
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gingus-arts · 4 years
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AH YES ANOTHER ONE OF THESE!!! with my thoughts again ajdjsj- this is one of my favourite ships so i had to
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tIME FOR ANOTHER SHIP "ESSAY." this time on keishima >:) again, the heights r just what i found on the wiki (i think it's cool that mishima is taller than keiji, his height fits him) and their sexualities & ages are a mix of what i've seen and what i think fits. which is to say, i saw this neat fanart of mishima being gay sjdhfns. generally i think they go together really well so let's start!
1. big spoon vs. little spoon — i just think keiji would want to be the big spoon asjhfshfn. mishima wouldn't be too set on either but he'd default to being the little spoon most of the time just cos keiji likes to be the opposite
2. lends clothes vs. borrows clothes — i think it'd be harder for mishima to lend keiji clothes with keiji being such a Beefy Boi, but he'd be totally okay lending whatever would fit him, generally stuff like ties and other accessories. i could also see mishima borrowing clothes once in a while, like if he forgot to do laundry and needed a dress shirt for work (it's not ideal because it'd be a bit baggy, but it's better than nothing) or if he wanted something comfortable to wear at home. he'd probably always ask keiji before he borrows things despite keiji saying that he doesn't need to, and he starts asking less as they're together longer (since he doesn't do it often anyway)
3. doesn't use pet names vs. uses pet names — mishima just doesn't seem like one for nicknames or pet names KFJSJDN. keiji absolutely does though— i think keiji would be more likely to flirt overtly in general so it just makes sense that he'd use pet names more. he'd probably stuff like "babe" a lot lol. but also, mishima would use an occasional "my love" whenever he's feeling lovey dovey (also this bouta sound hella cheesy but the way he says keiji's name sometimes is a term of endearment in itself)
4. extroverted vs. introverted — i think keiji would be kind of extroverted in the sense that he likes being around people (even if he's not particularly talkative, he can hold a conversation decently) and would prefer that to being alone, mostly because being around other people makes it easier to distract himself from his thoughts. i don't think he'd be drained by social situations either, but moreso envigorated by them (most of the time, anyway). that last part goes for mishima too! i think mishima would be significantly more extroverted than keiji just cos he seems extremely open to talking with everyone and seems to connect easily with them (and, he also seems more likely to persuade or push people into conversation than keiji is) though mishima is comfortable with having time alone too.
5. affection thru words vs. affection thru actions — i think keiji would generally have a hard time getting out affectionate words, so he just settles for doing small things like getting mishima food when he's @ work and kissing him or putting his arm around him. i think mishima would say really sweet stuff to keiji sometimes (though it's often more subtle & poetic than a straight up "i love you") and also compliment him often, so he'd be pretty comfortable voicing his affections, though he also does stuff with his actions.
6. confesses first vs. waits for confession — mishima just has a lot more confidence and self-esteem than keiji so i think he'd feel more comfortable opening himself up to rejection,,, though he would get the same nervousness about it that everyone gets. keiji distanced himself from even the possibility of being /friends/ with mishima, there's no way he'd think mishima would want to handle the burden of being his s/o, and it's possible he would just flat out deny that mishima likes him even if it's really obvious, if mishima doesn't say it upfront. so, he wouldn't even be waiting for a confession, he'd just try to get rid of his feelings (he'd probably feel somewhat guilty for "spoiling" their friendship with his feelings.) there is a small, small chance he'd tell mishima in a very unceremonious, way too casual sort of way, but this would definitely be an impulsive decision and he'd decide against doing it if he didn't blurt out in the minute he considered it (if that makes sense)
7. screams about bugs vs. squashes bugs with shoe — i just think it'd be funny if mishima was afraid of bugs LOL, tho i think it'd be more accurate to say that he's intrigued by bugs as a knowledgeable person (fr he just seems like he'd know a bunch of random ass information about a shit load of things) but likes to keep his distance from them. even though he's unnerved when they get too close to him, though, he makes an effort to not kill them. keiji does not care lol he'll just squash
8. drives the car vs. can't drive lol — i don't think keiji would necessarily be a bad driver, but i don't think he'd be good at it for one main reason– anxiety, or specifically, ptsd. the loud noises that sometimes come with driving, honking horns, the sharp rush of air and tires on gravel when a car passes you by, i think, could get overwhelming if he was in a relatively busy area. i don't think he'd be too good at concentrating either, he seems like he'd be somewhat prone to zoning out. mishima would Definitely be better at concentrating at keiji, and even if he zones out a bit, he's driven more than keiji (assuming,, he drives 2 work) and isn't bothered by loud noises. i don't think keiji would be too keen on admitting his problems with driving but mishima would probably pick up on it after it then call keiji out on it, /then/ he'd insist on driving most of the time.
9. can't cook for shit vs. makes dinner — i Actually Have a specific cooking hc for keiji which is that he can cook pretty basic things just fine, but he doesn't really feel the need to cook for himself so he barely cooks. like, if he was living alone, he'd probably live off of fast food and microwave meals KDJSJDN. now, if he was living with mishima- i think he'd moreso let mishima take care of the cooking, considering that mishima is Actually Good At It, but would offer help getting ingredients out or anything else mishima might need. if he wants to surprise mishima or give him a break from cooking, he'll order something to eat instead of cooking bc 1) his cooking ranges from mediocre to kinda bad and 2) he knows how to cook like 4 meals tops and 3) he doesn't want to embarrass himself lol (tho he won't admit that he doesn't want to..) mishima may coax him into at some point, though, and in that case, he'd try it out.
10. dislikes pda vs. loves pda — i think mishima would like to stay professional & within social norms in public, but he wouldn't be opposed to holding hands or a kiss on the cheek. keiji, on the other hand, has Less Shame and would nearly make out with mishima if he let him lmao- i think keiji would like teasing mishima with pda to some extent
11. overprotective vs. chill going — overall i think they'd both be pretty protective over each other! mishima seems like a protective person in general, (presumably that kinda comes with how nurturing he is) so i think that'd go doubly for his boyfriend with mental health problems up the wazoo who DOES NOT TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF NEARLY ENOUGH.... i think keiji might get annoyed with mishima's overprotectiveness but mishima stands firm in it and keiji eventually comes to recognize it less as a lack of trust & babying him, and more as a sign that mishima cares about him (and occasionally, is concerned about him.) i also think keiji would be protective over mishima, just as a base level of people he cares about, but less so than mishima is over him because mishima's pretty well adjusted and generally doesn't need protection from anything (except bugs maybe, lol)
12. has more relationship experience vs. has NO relationship experience — ok so,, i'm a little conflicted on my takes here, because if i was going with canon, it wouldn't make sense that mishima is gay because he was skeptical of kugie's same sex relationship, /unless/ he hadn't figured out his sexuality yet, which is not entirely implausible (or, if it's the internalized homophobia hittin-) i still want to headcannon him as gay so imma go with those explanations. however, if that's the case, it doesn't make sense to have him date any younger than he is now– unless, he had a serious case of comp het, which is also plausible. that may have helped him understand how relationships work, but they wouldn't be truly fulfilling if he's gay. if we're taking the relationship experience to be inclusive of platonic relationships, though, mishima would definitely have more experience than keiji. and whether we're talking platonic or romantic with keiji, i don't think he'd have very much AJDHDJ. i think he'd have like 2 or 3 girlfriends when he was younger, but nothing serious, and i don't think he'd have any really strong friendships either, in school i think it'd mostly just be the type of friends that u don't rly hang around with too often after school & then you kinda just don't see them afterwards, and in adult life it'd be coworkers, so like,, even less of a purely friendship thing. i think not having a support system would really jack him up when the trauma hit bUT i'm getting off topic so let's move on!
13. HORNY LEVEL — keiji is a horny fool don't @ me, mishima is a functional level of horniness
14. AWKWARDNESS LEVEL — so, if this was general awkwardness levels, i'd put keiji's a lot lower and mishima's a bit higher-- HOWEVER. i'm taking this 2 mean their awkwardness levels in the context of a relationship and that's why they are what they are. i would think keiji is pretty awkward in romance due to his constant deflection and tendency to distance himself– mishima would be better suited to it but A Bit Unsure either because he hasn't had relationships before or he hasn't had relationships with men before. figuring out gey things. ah but yeah i dunno, i didn't come to a conclusion in my previous rant on this :')
15. JEALOUSY LEVEL — i think keiji would b jealous mostly because he's insecure and feels like he's not enough for mishima. he wouldn't voice it and would just try to get over it, though mishima would probably notice him pouting or being a little distant. mishima, on the other hand, is quite secure in himself, and even when he isn't, i don't think he would feel particularly jealous. i feel like he'd be really happy when keiji gets close 2 other people and makes friends and stuff because that'd be good for him.
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donnieluvsthings · 4 years
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very random question here, but what's your opinion on Roman and Logan after LNTAO? cuz I think you have some interesting notes on logince and all+their relationship changed significantly after the ep!
okay this got really long (i know, what a surprise, everything i say is usually so short and concise /s) so i put a read more. honestly idek if this answers ur question but its basically just me overanalyzing every interaction they’ve had since that ep lololol
this is actually a very interesting question because now that i’m thinking about it they haven’t really had many major interactions since LNTAO. like they kinda had their moment(s) of understanding & compromise in WDWGOOBITM and also Crofters The Musical. they realize they work well as a team and that theyre more similar than they think.
but then in LNTAO Roman like fully apologizes to Logan for antagonizing him, and beyond acknowledging his own mistakes, Roman actually communicates to Logan that he feels pressured and stifled by Logan’s criticisms!!
And in return Logan says that he doesn’t mean to emphasize schedules and technicalities over Roman’s creations—in fact he thinks the quality of Thomas’ work is a priority—but that isn’t his specialty. He isn’t good at that; Roman is.
I think that’s a big moment for both of them: admitting that they’re struggling and/or feel like their input is devalued by the other. It isn’t just Roman saying “whoops i messed up sorry!!” It’s also Roman being open about the fact that it isn’t entirely his own fault. And he isn’t accusing Logan or calling him out, they’re just having a healthy conversation about how to do better for each other.
Also I think it’s nice how, in my opinion, even though Logan doesn’t say the words “i’m sorry,” he still apologizes, and Roman understands that. Logan asks how he can make it up to him and Roman gives him a way to do so that also shows he isn’t angry with Logan. It’s a mutual understanding that they both have struggles and have made mistakes and will work on it.
Embarrassing Phases is more Virgil-centric, and Logan and Roman are back to bantering but it’s not malicious or them lashing out, theyre just friends teasing each other. Thats just how their friendship works. They are the Banter Buddies aldkaldla
Logan’s not really in much of SvS. When he is Roman does kinda make fun of him/insist that he stay out of the conversation but to be fair Roman is struggling with the “selfless” choice of the wedding or the “selfish” callback during basically the entire episode. Also that little smile Roman has when Logan appears at the end....I think theyre fine. Roman wasn’t necessarily RIGHT to keep Logan out of it but I don’t think Logan holds it against him.
In DWIT Roman is knocked out for almost the entire time, but at the end there are some quality moments when Roman first wakes up. Roman calls Logan “Nerdy Wolverine” and then INSTANTLY apologizes for it, and Logan responds with a slightly confused “It’s...quite alright, Roman.”
Logan was (I’m assuming) not actually insulted by the “Nerdy Wolverine” comment because again, that’s just how the two of them interact. Roman is overcompensating but that’s, again, probably because he’s got a lot going on with his brother emerging from the depths and all.
In ATHD they lowkey just team up to tear Frozen apart and tbh I love that for them. Let them be movie critics together🥰
Then in POF Roman is back with his existential crises and cuts Logan off, doesn’t read his lowdowns, etc etc but he ALSO makes an effort not to insult Logan’s 8-bit German guy with the mustache, and also DOES try to read the lowdown at first but its A Lot (not that it stopped ME but thats besides the point aldkaldk)
When Janus reveals himself during the Lilypadton scene, Roman is all like “what have u done with Logan!!!” so like protective friend alert!! And then Logan’s got his angst at the end but Patton does try to protest when Logan says “i will do you all a favor and spare u my compant,” and Logan cuts him off, so I don’t know if Logan would have wanted to listen to any reassurance from Roman anyway.
Basically right now I think they’re both dealing with their own issues but the bond between the two of them IS stronger. They’ve honestly been two of the sides that communicate most with each other, even if they need a little push to get there. They’re friends, and they’re trying to not hurt each other as best they can!!
Thank u for giving me an excuse to go back thru the most recent episodes to find Logince moments its free serotonin adkaldls
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Hi princess! So imagine this lady who's always ALWAYS being negative abt her kids, never a kind word and only belittling, every other day, like "what did I do wrong really? What kind of kids have I raised? They're bla bla bla" with venom. And worst who doesnt acknowledge how negative + painful she is
When i try to talk to her nd ask her exactly whats the issue with 'me' or how can I help her to ease her burden as she keeps complaining how we're ungrateful or keeps comparing to other 'more acceptable in her eyes" children, she gets defensive nd won't answer properly. She says "ohhh, why don't U know that? arent u old enough to know?' and then starts ranting. when time after time ive begged her to clearly tell me, no passiv agressiveness please! it doesn't work nd i end up wondering why i even bother when im only the villain... Yes this ig is my role in her story that ive writen? confusing 😅
when I can, sometimes i try to help her even tho shes the sort who likes to stay busy so she'll find smth else to do lol, nd inside hope for her to be at least a little NOT negative today.... she either ignores or gets angrier nd goes all "hey, I didn't ask U to do that! How dare u act like u did me a favor! U think ur perfect while im just ur servant right?" when i never even intend that? i effing HATE negative reinforcement nd i feel so damn bad for her, nd shes taught me how negative reinforcement is the worst thing to use, cuz it never teaches anything only builds resentment!!
this is smth i realised that she cant be pleased, she wants to get attention what I mean is, whenever we spend time together, she is perfectly fine when we're talking abt her hobbies nd interests which tbh im NOT that interested in personally but since she likes them i like to discuss them with her nd help her out with projects. not to say "ohhh im so cool i help out with her projects look at me so kind of me! lol" its just it hurts when ur own mother doesn't even rpetend to care abt ur interests. i suspect deep down i carried this feeling of unworthiness ie if even my own mother doesn't care abt my hobbies/projects, no one will . which is why i feel so uncomfortable sharing anything personal to my rl friends cuz im so afraid theyll reject me too :(
By not caring i dont mean I expect her to listen nonstop to me. she has her own life but i mean she purposely zones out, rolls her eyes which HURT SM when i was a child, or even worst she says "im not interested" nd shuts the convo. again, at this point, idec anymore as ive learned slowly to value nd cherish my own value nd hobbies etc which is an important lesson anyway
the only thing i want is to stop her being so painfully negative LOUDLY. Yk I suspect becuz of her dwelling on whats wrong in her life, shes gotten severe numbness nd swelling in one arm? and even the doctors cant detect whats wrong! nd its hella painful nd she can't even lift it up sometimes!!!! THIS GOES ON TO SHOW HOW INNER CONSTANT NEGATIVITY CAN BE REFLECTED IN THE OUTER AKA OUR BODY!! To anyone else who cant help have negative thoughts ONLY, u gotta try to change them! Please! Bcuz my mother's pain in her arm is sometimes crazily too much! Nd this in turn, esp on days where all i hear is her gripe, its worse at night!
Anyway I was compeled to write this as a while ago i went to the kitchen for water nd from her room i heard her loudly complain nd mutter abt how her kids are "socially unacceptable" nd "dear god i pray please please don't let me rely on them in old age, i made a mistake raising them!" She's the sort whos got so many limiting beliefs that initially led to my deep unhappiness w/o knowng it was these beliefs at play eg if you dont become a certain career, youll have no security, or recently she keeps nd keeps lamenting abt not havjng 'enoufh money' (we r having kinda financial crisis due to some rlly terrible decisions by my other parent) or 'oh Im STUCK with this [bad word] family!" when she saw a movie abt someone who went on a trip nd began comparing her own life to it. She's so talented we all ask her to start an online business but she backs away nd says 'how will i ever get capital? im doomed to never have what i want' nd I myself have a bit empty wallet temporarily so i cant help her. Nyway, while im trying to fix my own beliefs, seeing her rage nd let negativity completly take over her is alarming nd worrying to me. it makes me feel negative emotions too. im not entirely confident in mastering my mind ywt. i was that overly sensitive kid at school nd i absorv her energy a lot. Those who u love the most, hurt u the most. nd i agree bcoz while im hurt by her (not that shes intentionally hurting me. THRU her im hurt), i do love her. Nd now thanks to the law ik by changing my beliefs abt things, i can change the world
My reason is i cant change her bcuz she gets hella maddened if i suggest a less negative thought. Nd she instead starts blaming me for my 'decisions in Life' which SHE would NEVERRR make oh no... -_- Nd im not saying i try to be obnoxious abt it hell no! im talking abt getting frustrated at the table talking abt smth abt a random topic, then suddenly listening to her start complaining abt e g. Some kid whos "richer" than i am heatedly! nd if i steer the convo away, nope, she keeps fuming a bit
so since i can only change myself, how the hell do i change my assumptions of her? i affirm having a great mother, happy nd open with her thriving business etc. i affirm this but i cant focus cuz doing so inevitbly makes me sad lol cuz i rmmbr how happy nd liveky she used to be before some unfortunate things in our family that started yrs ago. Which affected us all. Any advice, please? im on a mental diet hwoever the earlier incident of her complaining abt us again caused smth in me to snap. im distancing myself from her but the short times im with her there's only a strong air of disapproval, pain nd misery around her. Tbh i was like that pre-law, not knowing how destructiv my thoughts were, while she was the happy optimistic grateful one. Nd now? Im only slightly more self aware than before ie im NOT saying im able to rise in consiousness SOo much that im 'untouchable' nd buddha-like! Nor is my mom wrong bcuz she's me pushed out! its only her lvl of conciousness nd thats it. its just I don't want to cause or feel more pain or hav any excuse to curse her ,when ego sometimes takes over, anymore. im having some personal issues to take care of too, which is why this is affecting me too much. Sort of like having a weak immune system already?
I want my happy intelligent mom back. ik i got to change me... but the doing is way harder than the saying
🫀anon
Okay first of all imma say it cause I don’t think nobody else will…. Your mom is shitty…. There, I said it. She is abusive and selfish and a bad mom. No parent should ever treat their children that way and make them think they need to fix them.
Other than that yes it’s true she is your manifestation but I think it’s important to let emotions out. Be mad at her for once, stop rationalizing her bad behavior. You have the right to feel mad, angry, sad. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID.
I know it seems impossible to keep a mental diet when you see the negative behavior you wish to change every day. I assume you live in the same house. My suggestion is to stick to your mental diet and try to interact as little with her as possible. Go out more often or stay a bit more in your room. Every time you see a behavior from her that you don’t like, and you feel like affirming doesn’t help, close your eyes and see her hugging you and telling you all sorts of beautiful, loving things you’d like to hear from her.
You should also work on your self concept. Parental issues often manifest from poor self concept. Affirmations like “I am worthy, I am loved, I am enough, I am respected, I am cherished” work amazing.
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saintbalor-blog · 7 years
Text
“ HANDSY WITH THE WRONG TOZIER ? YIKES ! ”
REQUEST: 10 dólares for an imagine where you’re stan or richies sibling and Patrick decides to come over late at night kne day so he climbs thru a window thinking it was yours but it turns out that it’s your siblings and since it’s dark he like cuddles with them thinking it was you but then they wake up and before they can yell patrick like covers there mouth so they don’t scream but you heard noises coming from their room and went to check on them
AUTHORS NOTE: I would like my $10 in the form on an IT ticket thank u very much, also lots of u said richie so here goes trashmouth again and now I’m off to bed because 3am
A string of vile curse words drifted into the cool autumn air from Hockstetter’s chapped lips when the breeze hit him again, his slender hands hurriedly working on opening the heavy bedroom window to allow him to steal his unofficial girlfriend’s warmth with a few cuddles here and there. Swiftly pulling up the window, he squeezed his skinny body through and let himself fall on the carpet of her room with a soft thud, the pile of dirty clothes under the windowsill softening his fall for once. Straightening his lanky body out in the complete darkness of the room, her usual glimmer of light from her under her closet’s door absent for the night, he smugly grinned at the idea that she had actually cared enough to put the clothes there after he complained to her about how hard her floor was; how thoughtful of the girl, he proudly thought.
Blinking multiple times to adjust his eyes to the unusual darkness she was giving him tonight, his arms were outstretched in front of him to get a sense of the room, eager to feel the familiarity of the curves and dips of her body under him. The sound of soft snoring to his left shed light on where the bed was placed, it was away from it’s usual spot in the middle of her wall and pressed up against a corner instead. Shrugging the small change off as her just spontaneous remodeling, he licked his lips in anticipation and sauntered over to the bed, ready to wake Y/N up after getting a good few moments with her sleeping body.
Stopping once he reached the side of the bed, his long fingers curled around the hem of his t-shirt stained with bloodstains from the nose bleed Henry had given him earlier, he pulled the article of clothing off of his shivering body and tossed it off into the abyss of the room’s darkness. Leaving his jeans on for her to take off of him after he kicked off his heavy boots, he pinched the blanket and lifted it up enough to give him space to crawl under it and next to the curled up body. The warmth of the fuzzy blanket and the warmth of a body in the same bed quickly rid him of the shivering he had experienced earlier.
Wrapping a possessive arm around the poor victim’s waist and pulling their sleeping body back into his front with ease, his already hardening dick pressing up against the back of their leg, Patrick propped himself up on his elbow and brought his face down to the crook of their neck.
Patrick was sincerely enjoying how she had made it a habit to call him when she needed company and her parents were away in exchange for an easy blow job or more if he played his cards right for the night; his insensitive, demented, cloud of thoughts never allowing him to ever consider that he may actually feel for her like a regular boy his age would. It was a two-way relationship filled with sexual desire and lack of any real emotion that Y/F/N Tozier didn’t mind at the moment, her ever confident mind assuming that she could continue with ease of not attaining feelings if she reminded herself who he was — a boy with horrible intentions but a talent in making girls feel good when he was up for it.
His flushed lips pressed up against the skin of between their neck and jaw, slowly bringing consciousness back into the sleeping figure as his tongue left a slimy trail from the base of their jaw to their shoulder, making them writhe underneath Patrick’s hold as they began to realize they weren’t alone in their bed. Instead of taking the body struggling under his hold as a sign he was in the wrong bed, Patrick took it as encouragement to continue abusing the side of their neck with violent kisses and his hand slowly trailing down their side, stopping short when he felt the the smooth fabric that closely resembled the hem of his own boxers.
Dark eyebrows furrowing in confusion, noting that it wasn’t be familiar lace detail she usually wore for him, he removed his mouth from their neck and his hand from their side. Hastily sitting up on the bed, he grabbed onto their shoulders and pushed the unnamed person flat on their back, crawling to sit atop of them and letting his hands travel down the, disappointingly and drastically, flat chest of Richie Tozier as opposed to his sister’s fuller one.  
“Shit.” Patrick cursed when the realization dawned on him, sighing in annoyance that he wasted his energy on the wrong Tozier kid, pressing his hand against Richie’s mouth for when the shock finally registered in his system and he deemed a scream necessary. “Don’t scream or I’ll be in deep water with your sister, Tozier.”
“Get the fuck off me.” Richie’s vicious words were muffled underneath Patrick’s clammy palm, his own realization that the stranger in bed with him had been Hockstetter worse than his initial idea that it was a murderer as he struggled underneath the older boy.
“Do you not know how to listen —“
Patrick’s attempt at reprimanding the younger teen was cut short by the bright light illuminating the setting of one of Richie’s worst nightmares, his eyes free of glasses widening at the sight of Patrick Hockstetter’s bloodied face leering down at him as he straddled his torso. Shaky hands pushing against Patrick’s lean torso when the distraction sufficed him enough time, the lankier boy stumbled out of the bed and they both looked over at Richie’s open door where Y/N stood with a look screaming ‘annoyed’ aimed at Richie and the skin beneath her eyes was stained a deep reddish purple from having been woken up from her slumber.
“Richie, I fucking swear that you don’t know what letting people get their fucking beauty sleep means.” The eldest Tozier snapped at her younger brother, recalling the loud yet muffled talking and the thud from earlier that had interrupted her peaceful sleep across the hall, not realizing the third party in the room due to her sleepy state.
Richie scoffed in disbelief at the accusation thrown his way instead of the shirtless, bloody, teen watching from the sidelines with a sick grin on his face at the bickering siblings. Sitting up against his squeaky headboard, Richie shook his head at his sister and pointed an accusatory finger in Patrick’s direction, alerting her of his presence in the room. Lazily smiling over at where Patrick stood shirtless, she cocked an eyebrow at him when she noticed the blood on his face and the way Richie was feeling towards him.
“Well, I’m so sorry your asshole boyfriend decided to get all handsy and naked in my room and on my bed.”
That was not what she had expected her brother to say but as she recalled the scene when she had first walked in — Richie pushing a body off of him — she knew it probably wasn’t a stretch. Shooting Patrick a questioning glance as to what could posses him to do something like that, she looked over at her brother and opened her mouth to defend Patrick but he beat her to the punch.  
“Okay, Trashmouth. First of all, I’m not her boyfriend. Second of all, I’m not even naked, it’s just a shirt.” Her eager eyes were on Patrick as she watched him walk over to her, pausing where Richie’s doorframe was and leaning against it. “I could get fully naked if you wanted, though.” Patrick’s suggestive tone and boyish smirk made Richie want to puke, already disgusted at the memory of him cozying up next to him, his hand shamelessly trailing down his side.
“Gross.” Richie complained to his sister, crinkling his nose in disgust and turning away from the pair, not wanting to look the leering male in the eyes after what happened on his bed.
“Patrick.” Y/N swatted Patrick across his bare chest on Richie’s behalf, narrowing her eyes at him for his inappropriate comment, aware of how uncomfortable Richie had voiced feeling around him.
Patrick faked full offense at the insult and action with a faux frown, taking a hold of her smaller hand and pressing it up against his chest in a manner he knew to expect later tonight in the right bed. Taking her free hand and making it join the other on his chest, he shook his head like a child accused of doing something bad and leaned down as if he was going to whisper the world’s biggest secret, his normal tone of voice still being used when he spoke up.
“What? I could’ve sworn this little shit was getting into it more than I was, had an instant boner when he woke up and saw me shirtless in his bed.” Patrick lied, only earning a roll of the eyes from her and a subtle smile playing across her lips.
“That is such bullshit, Y/N.” Richie was quick to defend himself, astounded that Patrick would ever dream of accusing him of wanting what happened, knowing damn well that Richie would never touch him. “I wanna burn these stupid sheets now that he touched them, putting all his psycho germs on it.” He kicked at the sheets, recalling that Patrick was laying on them just a few minutes prior.
“Rich, be a little nice.” Y/N teased, her tone distracted as her attention was elsewhere instead of on Richie’s complaints against her fling.
Instead, she was staring up at the boy’s prominent cheekbones, thinking about how she wanted to place her gentle hands against their harsh edges and pull his face up to hers, stealing a sweet kiss she knew she didn’t deserve from him. Brushing her thumbs against the surprisingly soft skin of his chest and grinning up at him like a lovesick puppy, she felt him give her hands a gentle squeeze before he smugly looked over at Richie.
“Yeah, Rich, I’m a guest tonight so show some respect.”
“You’re actually letting him stay?” Richie asked, confused as to what the hell could have happened without him seeing that she had actually still wanted him here.
“It’s cold in my room?” Y/N weakly offered as her grand reason for the surprise visit, coming out more of a question than answer even though, it wasn’t exactly a lie.
“Get a freaking blanket, then! Here, I’ll even give you my favorite.” Richie spat, holding up his bunched up blanket for effect in a final act of desperation to get the sleazy brunette out of his home but to no avail.
“I promise he’ll just be in my room, no biggie.” Y/N shrugged, nodding up at Patrick to get him to agree.
“Don’t make promises on my behalf, princess.” Patrick let her needy hands drop in front of her, sharing one last knowing smirk with Richie and caressing the side of her face before happily heading towards the correct room across the hall, plopping on Y/N’s unmade bed as he waited for her to handle family business; something he didn’t let himself get used to.
“He’s not that bad.” She gushes, loving how his rough hand felt against her face in a way that she was sure showed a sense of emotion she hadn’t expected — almost making her reconsider the type of relationship she had situated herself with having with him. “Night, kiddo.” Y/N excused herself, closing the door to Richie’s room and going over to where her boy toy was.
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franeridart · 7 years
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WHOA BLACK CLOVER HAS AN ANIME NOW I GOTTA GO WATCH IT
Well, only the first episode for now but yeah!!! I can’t wait for my favs to show up aaahhhhhh!!!!!! 
Anon said:Omg, Kirishima, please teach me how to put on eyeliner, your eyeliner game is on point! (Seriously, tho, I love how you draw their eyes and how you draw Kiri in general. He seems so soft. Damn, Bakugou, I'm jealous that you can cuddle him)
THANK YOU!!!! And Kiri has really really pretty lashes in the manga too, doesn’t he? Bakugou too! They have seriously pretty eyes I spend a lot of time trying to get that right when drawing haha still not as good at Horikoshi tho after all, but what can we do~
Anon said:Every time I get a notification you posted something I get extremely happy! That's what your drawings did to me. How can one be so talented.
SOB thank you so much!! You being happy makes me happy so it’s happiness all around!!! What a good!!!
Anon said:Heey!! So I've been wondering... if Aizawa used his quirk on Hagakure would she become visible?? (Btw love your art)
Oh my what a question, I was actually talking about this not too long ago with a friend! And the conclusion ended up being that if her invisibility is a permanent mutation he can’t, but if she can turn it off at will then probably he can too! Right now we still don’t know how exactly Tooru’s quirk tho, so we can’t be sure which is the truth! (I like to think she can turn visible if she wants, but that’s just an headcanon with very little basis haha)
Anon said:Your erasermic art has blessed me 4ever thank u
NAH thank you for liking it and letting me know, man!!!
Anon said:I DIDNT KNOW YOU SHIP ERASERMIC OH MY GOD but seriously you're one of my favourite artists and the fact you like pretty much all the same things as I do is so amazing to me and it makes me so happy because I know that you may draw more of it in the future and I'll get to see more beautiful art if that makes sense lmao thanks for creating stuff 👌👌
Hahahaha yeah it’s one of my top ships in the fandom! Also the only one I read fics for aside from krbk I love them A LOT (and it’s all thanks to my sister who directed my attention towards them a long time ago now, thank you sis) so yeah I’ll definitely draw more of them in the future!!!! And thank you so much for liking my stuff!!!!!
Anon said:Hi! I just want to say I love your headcanon of Aizawa becoming a mentor/role model to Bakugou! Thank you for introducing me to that idea!
YOU’RE MOST WELCOME I’m just a huge huge huge fan of the Aizawa&Bakugou interactions and how much Aizawa cares for him and how much Bakugou respects and trusts him in return, so!!! I’m mostly just pushing on that canon stuff hahaha
Anon said:HORY SHEET BOYO THAT ERASERMIC SHIT IS GOOD SHIT
THANK YOU FRIEND!!!
Anon said:i came to love erasermic thru kiribaku tbh. like i saw erasermic fic in the kiribaku tag on ao3 and i read it for the bg kiribaku (kirishima was such a good boi in that fic ngl) and i was like hey erasermic isnt bad. then i saw your art of them comparing them and i was like hey this is good shit 😁👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌 keep it up pal
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll t r y !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O
Anon said:Do you think Kyoka and Katsuki could get along? Over their like for punkrock maybe, and their gayness. Kinda like Todoroki and Momo's talks about their tiny crushes.
WHY YES ANON I think they could be the bestest of pals, I’ve actually drawn them together now and again cause I like the idea of them being friends so much - a list of some of the things Bakugou and Jirou do together:
make fun of Kaminari (Kaminari feels attacked and liked it better when Jirou was convinced she didn’t like Bakugou)
share music recs and go to concerts together (when it’s big ones they particularly care for they stand in line The Whole Day and at first it used to be sorta awkward but now being together makes the hours fly)
mutter sass and snark under their breaths to themselves in class and without meaning make the other snort or have to hide an actual laugh (they sit next to each other in class did you know that that’s my fav thing tbh)
say “god, I’m so fucking gay” and answer “mood” whenever Kirishima and Momo, like, exist or do anything equally outrageous
sit next to each other with their phones in hand in silence and at the same time look up with an intense/bored/obviously-judging-sero-come-on-look-at-them expression whenever anyone walks past them (they’re actually playing bullshit app games)
play bullshit app games in co-op or having each other as friends to earn more rewards cause they have a No-Judging policy going on between them that makes sharing this sort of otherwise embarrassing stuff with each other okay
Anon said:Hi!!! I love your art and I just wanted to ask....what band were you referring to when you said Mic named him after the band "eraserhead"? Could you possibly be talking about the filipino band "Eraserheads"?
Yeah!!!!! Tho I’m sorry to let you down anon, but I haven’t actually ever heard much from them (justttt one song two days ago cause I got curious) - I found out about them while looking up the movie!
Anon said:I love how you draw mic with his hair in a bun. It's super cute
THANK YOU!!!! But I can’t really take the merit for that, since that’s how he actually wears his hair (more or less) when he doesn’t gel it up for his hero costume!
Anon said:What is your favorite kiribaku au? :D
Oh boy, I sort of love everything and anything I’ve ever seen/read tbh, I’m a HUGE AU lover!! At the moment to anything with the fantasy AU (and dragon!Kiri is always a super welcome plus) is gonna make me go :O !!!!!!!! hahaha so maybe that, who knows! It’s for sure the one I think about the most!
Anon said:Hellooooo i love your art so much? Especially the bakushimas oh my god (also do you plan on drawing more soul eater *coughs*-deathstar-*coughs* in the future?) Have a good day!!
THANK YOU! And I dunno, maybe! If inspiration strikes, why not!
Anon said:hey guess what i just did... went through your ENTIRE art tag (all the way back to the knb and one piece), i found it really cool to see how your art has developed and see what your fav ship is at a certain time (and how you always come back to bokuroo)
Ah man thank you for spending all that time on my blog hahaha I wouldn’t say I always go back to bokuro though? It’s more like... whenever the manga brings the bokuros back I’m ready to start hyping all over them again hahaha my bokuro periods always happened while they were doing things in the manga, after all~
Anon said:u said u couldnt draw iida, lie of the century. i lvoe u
AHHHHH I’m glad you liked him!!!! I spent lotsa time on him in the past month or so trying to get a grasp on him, so I’m really seriously happy it seems to have paid off!! to quote Todoroki
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Anon said:where’s ur faq i’m on mobile
SORRY maybe you already noticed but I added the link in the description! 
Anon said:have you ever thought about if eri-chan can... erase her own quirk?? and would how they might handle it
Actually that’s the first thing I thought when Mirio got his own erased... well, it still depends on what exactly Eri’s quirk does? We sorta assumed she had the same quirk as Chisaki, but they aren’t actually related so who knows? I sure hope she can fix the damage done on Mirio, tho!
Anon said:I ADORE YOUR ART SO MUCH OH GOD HAVE A NICE DAY FRAN
OH MY GOD THANK YOU I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY TOO!!!
Anon said:Usjeiwiwj oh man, i love cats, my cat relates to urs big time ajsjehej
Cats are such a mess and I love them with all of my heart to be honest hahaha
Anon said:Do u have any, idk idea about traitor!Kaminari? I just imagine how would others react? I think it's hella sad, and still Denki never wanted this, something just go wrong in his life and it's breakin my heart... ARGH, sorry for interrupt you with something like that...
It’s okay, don’t worry about that haha but I can’t say I find the theory possible in the least, so I haven’t really spent time thinking about it at all? I mean, I can imagine it would be full of angst and regrets and a lot of tears and anger mostly from his close friends, but since I just can’t believe this theory I can’t say I have anything specific I can give you on this orz sorry!
Anon said:Who's get jealous and possessive between bakugou and kirishima?
Actually I dunno man, are they possessive and jealous? I feel like they both would like it when the other told them stuff like “I’m yours” or “you’re mine”, but being there complete and utter trust between them they wouldn’t actually be jealous or act in a possessive way... does that make sense? At most I think they’d be insecure in the beginning of their relationship, but once they managed to make it clear that yes, you’re the one I want, no one else, just you then they would have little to no problems in that sense haha
Anon said:So many people seem to misunderstand bakugou and I just really like how you portray him. Good characterization and good art! 💖✨
SOB THANK YOU !!!!! this means the universe to me oh g o d s!!!!
Anon said:Wait!! This isn't your main blog? Omg how did I not know this. What is your main blog (if you're willing to let people from this blog follow it haha)?
AHHHH yeah I have a main one this one is just for my doods!!! the main is @franeridan, if you wanna follow it! I’m mostly just crying over bakugou and kirishima and complaining a whole damn lot about... everything, tho hahaha
Anon said:I'm not the anon but u know the concept that kiri n Baku would meet when they were younger and when Baku was more... violent? (i know that's not the right word, I'm not a native speaker sorry!) Like I think kiri could actually make Baku less of a bully? Considering how much positive impact he had on his personality AFTER it already developed (like idk if this ask makes sense? What do u think?) ◇ (btw putting smth like ◇ was a genious idea ty, idk if u remember that ask tho?)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah!!!!! Actually I’ve been thinking about this A LOT in the past couple of days and my conclusion ended up being that the key would be either for Kirishima to know Bakugou since they were really young OR for him to not attend Bakugou’s same middle school? Like, if they developed their personalities together, having someone like Kirishima around since they were kids could have made Bakugou develop differently, but if we go with the “they met in middle school” scenario then I think Kirishima would have had the same sort of...soothing? Effect on Bakugou only if Bakugou didn’t see him as a threat to his dream of being the only kid from that middle school to enter UA. Well, a scenario in which they had known each other since they were small young babies and Bakugou reached middle school going “the only one from this middle school to enter UA is gonna be me and Eijirou”, that would have been hella cute wouldn’t it hahaha growing up with a notion of us instead of just me would have changed Bakugou a lot, I’m pretty sure :D
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tumblunni · 7 years
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AAAAARRRRGH tfw u somehow sabotage your own idea by getting a new idea thats too good ???????????????????????? God, I had an idea for a villain for a thing and then I ended up reinterpreting a what if that character was actually a troubled misunderstood normal person who’s just like a red herring for the real villain EXCPET NOW I HAVE NO CLUE WHO THE REAL VILLAIN IS goddammit my undeveloped plotline just got even more undeveloped
long talks & stuff below th cut:
Okay, so this is kinda for that vague idea I had of the ‘spider legman story’, as its ended up being codenamed thanks to a friend XD
A sort of mystery dating sim thingie where u play as A Grody Farmin’ Man Who Luv Growin Dem Onions, and you have your best friend PTSD Sufferer Knight Bishie Man whom u Kinda Have A Larj Crush On and generally just relateable anxiety characters hav cyoot smoochies BUT THEN mr love interest man mysteriously vanishes one day assumed dead, with nobody giving a shit except you, cos he was a social pariah and you end up in an arranged marriage to a woman you don’t love and even worse you now have to deal with what may or may not be his ghost hauntin u or may be one of the demons from the forest masquerading using his face or even both or hey! maybe he’s just! totally fine! and alive! Ha.. ha.. ha..
So yeah you would be romancing or not romancing mr possibly an evil ghost and it may or may not go well and you might instead come to terms with his death and move on to dating another one of various love interests, which are not very developed yet only idea i have so far is a johnny bravo esque doofus travelling merchant guy who ended up kinda being a pure force of all that is good in the world one of his endings I’ve planned out would have him sacrificing his life to ressurect main love interest guy, even though it means losing you. and, well, losing his life. but you’re the more important part and you should be happy with ghost husbandu! that would be like the bad ending if you have equal relationship bars with both characters. everyone else gets some sort of regular cheating scene and he gets IMMA GONNA THROW MYSELF INTO THE CAULDRON OF THE DEAD TO PAY THE TOLL I dont have him very developed though except that he’s gonna be Very Buff and he’s kinda the only character who’s an outsider to the complex dark dynamics of this village, and kinda represents protagonist’s hopes of someday seeing the world and also he’d be a bff wingman character on everyone else’s route if you dont return his crush. he is just a very pure and kind man! who crushes logs with his bare hands!
ANYWAY THATS NOT THE CHARACTER I WAS STRUGGLING WITH, LOL
the big problem I had is that the original villain for this thing back when I dreamed it up three years ago was gonna be the lady in the arranged marriage like she’s basically gaston and she killed off your rival love interest so she could force you into this loveless marriage blablabla and he came back as a demon ghost thing to save you cos she was gonna kill you too after the marriage to steal ur inheritance and stuff
BUT BUT BUTBUTBUT then I ended up thinking about how the character could be way less boring and awful if it was Moral Complexity Instead
so she’s developed into like... She’s still kind of an egotistical rich jerkass princess who bullied mr love interest guy and wants you to marry her even though she knows you dont love her BUT she’s also suffering just as much as you are I just had the really depressing mental image of her staring at her reflection in the river and contemplating suicide. thinking about how everyone treats her as if she only has any value if she’s beautiful, and she’s looked at her reflection a million times trying to see what they seem to see. everyone thinks she gets more beautiful with every part of herself she sacrifices to please them, but its like she can see herself rotting away and everyone tells her it isnt there.. She’s only so determined to get you to marry her because she’s being treated by her family like her entire purpose for being born was to marry a stranger she hates and bring them money and status. And she feels like she’s a failure because she cant force you to love her, and she can’t force herself to love you either, but she still HAS to find ANY way to make you do it anyway because everyone is acting like she’s run out of time already... So all her egotistical mannerisms are just her trying to hide that she hates herself, and she’s just as terrified of this marriage as you are. She’s just like a future image of what you’d become if you also gave up on escaping your parents’s expectations...
also I think it’d be an extra level of sad nuance if she actually used to be one of your childhood friends, alongside main love interest ghost guy and then suddenly she wasnt allowed to talk to you anymore, and her parents started pushing her even more into the perfect wife role and you two never knew about any of this, and you just ended up resenting her for suddenly breaking friends with you, and its all hella complicated and confusing so her route would be like the one non-romantic one in the game you just rekindle your friendship with her and help her find a reason to live again, and manage to escape the arranged marriage that’s ruined both of your lives
and possibly there’d be at least one optional scene where she could end up meeting the ghost and getting to say goodbye to him in a super teary way cos like, you spend a lot of the game assuming that she was the one who assassinated him, and that she hated him for being your love rival when really she was never able to love you at all, she just felt she was forced to conjure feelings out of thin air and doom the both of you to an unhappy marriage ‘for the sake of the lineage’ and deep down she still saw her ‘rival’ as the friend she once had, and felt awful about having to be a jackass to him so her parents wouldnt punish her for consorting with commoners so she was crying just as much as you when he dissappeared, and realising he might be dead is what causes her suicide attempt (especially cos she also finds out that you loved him all along...) so there needs to be a lil addendum to this ending that even though you didnt go thru his route and you didnt romance anyone, ghosty guy still passes on peacefully after getting to see you reconcile with your former best friend or maybe if the game could not follow the typical route structure, then it could be possible to befriend a character and romance someone else during the same playthru? golden ending where the trio is reunited again! even if the inevitability of death must still cast them asunder once more! (tho I do have ideas for one super super super tricky ultimate ending for ghost guy where you’re somehow able to stay together. beyond just the bad ending route where you die, lol)
ANYWAY so now i have no clue who actually killed ghost guy I feel it’d probably be too predictable to make it one of the evil parents or something Unless like.. change the framing and have them be presented as benevolebt npcs throughtout the whole game? like, cos the protagonist is friggin brainwashed and depressed and going along with this awful arranged marriage plan, he sees them as if this is what normal loving parents are meant to be like. so they’re still here being horrible and controlling but the game never gives you any choices to disobey them until the very end, when all their secret crimes are revealed! maybe even have the mom or something be like the tutorial npc and she’s always giving really bad advice that sends you down the bad routes. TRUST NO-ONE. NEGGING IS A VIABLE STRATEGY. EXPRESSING YOUR PERSONALITY IS WASTING TIME U CAN USE 2 PREPARE FOR THE MARRIAGE.
lots of thoughts! very few answers! alas!
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intothespideyverses · 7 years
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what I imagine going down next season (as a result of everything that happened in sesson 3) warning for discussion of suicide/self-harm:
SHINY
-ok since the whole sex subplot was never really resolved (they SAID they talked but we didnt see shit so) I think this would be a good time to introduce ace!Shay. Now another part of me would also like for shiny to have sex just so esme could stop fucking with m'daughter's head but shay seemed way too opposed to the idea of sex in general (and not in a nervous way, but in a "why would I ever have sex?" kinda way). And maybe once Shay's comfortable with being ace she can just deck esme right in the nose idc idc idc she had it coming! Fuck a $230 skirt bih! Tiny would be weirded out and probably disappointed at first but bc he’s literally the perfect bf he'd come around eventually. Hopefully they could highlight that there are ways to be intimate in a relationship w/o having sex. I just want shiny happiness and for people (lola up until she apologized, esme) to stop going out of their way to make shay feel so insecure and then getting mad at her when she reacts to their bs.
-speaking of which as much as I hate to see her miserable I think shay needs an angsty storyline. She solves her problems so quickly and efficiently, we never even see the emotions she must be going through. i don’t think her being ace would cause her too much stress, she'd do her research for a bit, have a fight with tiny about it (maybe even suggest to keep the relationship open, which would offend tiny) but other than that the real source of angst would come from esme. lets say esme finds out, y’all already know she would never let shay hear the end of it. that, on top of esme being EVERYWHERE and the two of them competing to be both the smartest and most athletic girl in school, would probably really get to shay's psyche. maybe esme goes too far one day, and shay just says fuck it and throws hands?? or maybe she breaks her phone?? idk something rly impulsive bc shay doesn't normally make impulsive decisions. of course esme makes shay out to be the irrational one and shay tries to quit the track team, her grades start slipping, etc etc. esme gets bored without having someone to compete against, or maybe she notices the change in shay's demeanor (and bc of maya’s suicide attempt and her mom) is afraid she pushed shay over the edge. they talk after class one day, esme still being bitchy but by the end a little teary eyed. I think their talk would be reminiscent of anya and holly j in season 8?? 9?? where anya was all like "why are you so mean to me" and hj's like "bc u let me bitch :)" so esme CLEARLY isn't gonna take any real responsibility for bullying shay but shay decides that shes NOT gonna be the bigger person for once. Idk how this would end but I definitely want shay to be more confident by the end, and for esme to learn when to stand down.
-Tiny's line about shay just seeing him as a "good nerd boy" rly stuck out to me. How much does shay know about tiny's past?? This definitely has to be brought up at some point, and I really thought the show would've mentioned that but w/e. Shay probably knows SOMETHING about the gang stuff but not how far it goes, or his family, etc. Tiny has an image that he keeps from everyone else but saves only for shay, which is adorable (they have boggle ((is that like scrabble???)) dates...need me a freak like that) but at some point shays gonna have to see the rest of him. Tiny is tired of shay assuming so much about his intentions too. That and shay not wanting sex period will (in my vision for s4) definitely be the biggest conflicts for shiny, but they'll work through them quickly bc unlike every other couple on this show they actually know how to communicate :)
-also how does tiny feel about the crash?? he looked all the way fucked up when they rushed him into the hospital so...he has to have some sorta trauma from that come on now
TRILES/MOLA
-this is gonna be messy lol. triles and mola are two very polarizing ships so we already kno theres gonna be some mess once tristans back at school. tristan may have been all "okay w/e idc" at the play but we all know once his petty ass is able to speak he's gonna go out of his way to make lolas life living hell. its truly gonna be slutshaming for days, and lets not forget the biphobia. he wont really direct any anger at miles, except tight-lipped quickly concealed bitterness. i can already picture these scenes yall like this is literally what is gonna happen WATCH.
-miles is of course gonna still feel guilty about the whole knocking her up thing, and he rly does love her and values her friendship (their friendship was so cute) so he's gonna want to keep hanging out with her (it’ll start off with just checking up on her every now and then like craig after manny’s abortion, but it’ll grow to miles getting an actual job at lola’s, etc). tristan will be okay with this on the surface but as soon as he and lola are alone (maybe tris is @ the hollingsworth household while lolas there for frankie or hell even miles and miles leaves to get some snacks or something) tristan just lays into her!! on some "you were NOTHING to him" shit. on some "you tried to trap him with a baby" shit!! some “he never loved you, just pitied you” shit!!!! and then tris is all back to smiles the second miles comes back. lola’s on the verge of tears but keeps this to herself cause she doesnt want to start drama so soon after tristan coming back and bc she loves miles too much etc etc. miles of course eventually finds out, and he and tris have the fight of the century where it ALL comes out.
-now I just read a list of PERFECT mola headcanons (by @beach-city-mystery-girl!) that should definitely happen throughout the season! idk if triles will stay together or if mola becomes official but at some point someones gonna be all "make. a. DECISION" at miles so!!
-lola should also find value in being alone and being comfortable with herself. she and yael become genuine friends (bc she needs someone outside of frankie and shay and miles) and form a weird almost symbiotic relationship where they give each other advice on things the other lacks. baaz flips between trying to flirt with her and making insensitive comments about her abortion. lola finally sets him straight for once and for all. 
-maybe something goes down at the restaurant? idk I just started caring about lola’s existence yesterday idk how this goes
-I think frankie eventually finds out that miles and lola hooked up, idk how but she does and she’s not happy about it yikes.
-actually after just reading another great post (by tristanmiligay), a lot of tristan’s insecurities could also lie in the fact that he’s disabled now. maybe miles rly wants to get tris up on his feet again and do something FUN and EXCITING but homeboi literally just got out of a coma and can’t make it, so I can see miles asking lola to go instead (like maybe its a couples thing and he already reserved it or w/e) and that kinda sets tristan off the first time. he’ll probably try to force himself to heal faster, maybe even injuring himself further in the process? he’s gonna have a lot of self-doubt and internalized ableism like the post said :/, and all of that is gonna manifest in hate for lola. 
ZASHA/GRONAH (is that what we're calling it??) 
-okay so this section is kinda tied into the maya section and rly just centered around grace so yeah. but thats mainly bc there wont rly be any drama between zasha (except like normal preparing for college type stuff, like zoe wants to go to some rly good school far away and rasha wants to stay in toronto bc she just got there).
-zoe's pretending to be fine with getting kicked out but its absolutely destroying her on the inside. she and her mom were so close despite everything. zoe starts going thru mad identity issues bc everything about her was sculpted by her mom. if shes not in her life anymore then who is she? she keeps replaying "i love you despite who you are" in her head and its killing her. she sometimes sneaks out of grace's room at night and leaves voice messages on her moms phone (which ms. Rivas never responds to) and ends every night crying on the couch. grace grows super concerned for her but has no idea how to balance both helping maya out and helping zoe. one day at school grace tries to confront zoe about the voicemails but zoe brushes it off and says something cute like "being with rasha makes it all worth it" but grace is still like 👀.
-grace then moves on to trying to help maya but maya is sick and tired of everyone walking on eggshells around her and she tells grace shes fine and that she needs to back off, but grace knows somethings still off. later that day she spots zoe in the student council office trying to call her mom and leaving an angry voicemail, ripping mama rivas to shreds!! "you were never a good mother, a mother who cant love her own daughter shouldnt even be having kids, i hate you, go to hell" type of shit. at the last minute she realizes she doesnt mean half of that (or she does mean it but that scares her) and tries to backtrack but by then the voicemail's already been sent. zoe starts freaking out and crying again and leaves another one like "im sorry I didnt mean any of that please just let me come back. Im sorry, im sorry, im sorry" like just saying sorry over and over again, and grace finally steps in like "sorry for the voicemail or sorry for being gay?" and confronts zoe again. zoe tries to get the attention off of her by asking about maya and grace is like "she's 'fine' just like how you're 'fine'. cut the bs binch" or whatever and zoe breaks all the way down, but before grace can comfort her she sees maya and esme fighting outside the office and she runs out to stop it. zoe, now that shes alone and still crying, contemplates self harming again (im gonna end this here cause this is long enough I deadass would write this whole episode if I could)
-anyway juggling between her upcoming surgery, college apps, and two lowkey suicidal best friends, grace is stressed tf out. this is where gronah steps in lol. i dont care much about jonah but i do know hes much more interesting and likeable when he's with grace. he gives her advice and shit and they go on a bunch of golfing dates, grace maybe takes him to yoga or something, they help each other with college apps, and well gronah happens! jonah basically goes from boring to manic pixie dream boy who tries to show grace that life is worth living and blah blah yall know the drill
-rasha needs a plot outside of zoe and i think her pursuing acting could be a thing!! she goes out to casting calls but every director says something along the line of "we just...envisioned someone else for the role" or "we dont rly think you'd...fit" bc shes muslim and then the one time she gets picked up for a student film, its about a terrorist attack and rasha doesnt realize until she shows up to rehearsal. she goes off on the director (and reminds her that most terrorist attacks are domestic lol) and runs off to goldi and they talk. maybe she tries to write her own webseries (probably with the help of winston) and it becomes a hit!! maybe we could have a probably cheesy as hell famous youtuber plot (and vijay gets jealous lol) and they have some sorta subscriber war where everyones taking sides. baaz, yael, and hunter try to sabotage rasha's show and bc our girl loves scheming she hits them back even harder :).
-also maybe we find out what happens to her friend back in syria? i dont want her to have too many depressing plots so maybe her friend is okay physically but not mentally and she has to deal with that :(
MAYA
-so like I already said maya's done with everyone bullshitting her and being overbearingly nice, so she starts closing herself off. this just makes everyone even more worried tho, so she forces herself back into music and her studies. grace and jonah are all over her, zig always looks guilty as fuck and treats her like a baby, miles forgot she existed but if they pass each other in the hall he'll ask how shes doing, zoe hugs her randomly one day, and esme...esmes the worst one. she starts lowkey stalking maya and its getting on her last nerve.
-she avoids saad like the plague at first, but eventually realizes that he's the only person who doesnt treat her any differently (or so she thinks). they go to the roof one day (cause that shit is never locked no matter how many suicide attempts happened up there) to talk things out, and saad completely switches gears. "what were you thinking??? why would you do that???" type of stuff. maya gets mad at him talks shit about his pictures maybe, idk. saad reminds her that its a coping mechanism after everything that happened in syria, maybe he says he once contemplated too?? idk all the ideas I have are depressing moving on
-one day maya explodes on everyone after she dissapears for a bit (umm maybe she was chosen to perform a song at a school event but, after hearing some girls talking about her suicide attempt in the bathroom, she decides to ditch) bc everyone (grace, jonah, zig, esme, zoe maybe) gang up on her to check if shes okay. she goes off, saying "none of you cared before i tried to kill myself so why care now?" and idk where I was going with this, I want maya happiness and closure but idk how to get there smh.
-uhh she finds hoot! she goes home after school and finds hoot stuffed in the back of her closet. she writes a bittersweet song and after a long talk with her mom, decides to call grace. maybe grace invites her over for a sleepover?? and zoe and maya can finally have a real conversation since The Incident too! Also grace can kinda kill 2 birds with one stone.
FRANKIE'S ANNOYING ASS
-I cant stand this child but shes the writers' baby so she'll get at least 5 main plots next season oh my god. My wishful thinking speaking, but maybe she'll learn its okay to be alone and finally learn to like herself! Hopefully she sees the value in sticking to the sidelines and helping her friends through their issues. Ooh, maybe she learns how to be a good ally after gorillagate and educates her brothers on why their many intolerances are wrong (lbr here, hunter probably uses "triggered" as an insult and continues to call all the refugees "scary", same with miles) BUT come on this is degrassi :) so the writers are probably gonna throw in a new male character for frankie to obsess over. Well, either a newbie or someone completely random thats already in the cast like fucking baaz or saad.
Z*SME
-zig and esme spend a lot of their time obsessing over maya I think, esme bc she sees her mom in maya and zig bc he feels like he made her do it. umm noah fence but i dont rly care about these two so thats all I got lol
if anyone has any specific headcanon requests I’d love some!
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donnieluvsthings · 4 years
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gonna rant about sanders sides plot bc i think about it all the time and need an outlet okay here we go. this got super long so most of it is under the cut.
fyi: i talk a lot about patton and virgil and how theyre doing. i dont think i paint either of them negatively and if i did its not on purpose bc i love them both but just be aware!! also this is just my interpretations/predictions and i wanted to share but its not The Only Acceptable Interpretation and if u disagree then obviously thats fine lol
so i keep thinking about the conflict between virgil and patton. clearly something is weird. i think it probably started when virgil asked patton to stop treating him like “some innocent harmless angel” at the end of LNTAO.
i actually think this was a good interaction—virgil was trying not to hurt patton’s feelings but also was expressing something he was uncomfortable with and he succeeded in my opinion. and patton doesn’t argue, just immediately goes “okay, virgil!” like he says his name, no nickname, no kiddo. he starts trying instantly to check himself and respect virgil’s wishes.
then in embarrassing phases their interactions seem a little more...tense? i’ll list the ones that stick out bc lists are Fun:
patton fakes being scared. virgil: “don’t patronize me” patton: “you mean pantronize” virgil: “whatever!!”
patton corrects himself from saying “bat winged cherub” to “bad....boy” while virgil shoots him a look like we just talked about this
virgil’s talking about how his style is a relic from thomas’ emo phase. patton: “we’re basically style twins!! look out just a couple of cool guys comin thru!” virgil: “okay, patton” patton: “um! sorry...”
virgil seems aggravated, probably bc patton is still treating him like a poor lil anxious baby when the whole point of this episode was virgil showing that they can’t just ignore his role as anxiety. they may be friends now but virgil’s past attitude is still part of him. one could say he doesnt want them to ignore the “dark side” of his presence. wink wink. this could be him maybe building up to revealing that he used to be a dark side, subtly preparing thomas for it.
then SvS. patton and virgil don’t interact directly except at the start and during the trial, but it doesn’t seem as strained. this is probably because theyre both on the same side when it comes to deceit—and i think thats important. in svs, both patton and virgil are anti-deceit, and like patton pointed out in LNTAO, “anxiety and morality are telling you the same thing,” which seems to signal to thomas that he should listen.
also in SvS, janus alludes to the fact that virgil was a dark side and is hiding it:
“so you’ve never been reluctant to share anything with the group?”
“dont.”
“what, i just meant your name!”
“dont.”
“maybe that’s why its so easy for you to see me for what i am! like i said before, it takes a liar to know a liar.”
i’m 90% sure he didn’t just mean virgil’s name. virgil is clearly distraught about where this conversation is headed and that just doesn’t line up with him being hesitant to share his name. his fears over his dark persona and reluctance to share his name have been addressed multiple times, so what does he have to be scared of? unless janus is talking about virgil being a dark side.
moving on! in DWIT, again, theyre both kinda anti-remus. theyre both afraid of him, and as logan points out, theyre both part of why remus is so powerful as intrusive thoughts. they dont argue much; virgil spends most of this ep arguing with logan, actually, which is interesting bc he and logan seem to have one of the closest friendships in the show.
in this episode, there’s a few final pushed that i think lead virgil to confess he was a dark side.
first remus reveals his own name and says “i would never hide anything from you!” and sends virgil a little glance. virgil looks uncomfortable. then, around the 31 minute mark, logan says “you can always talk to someone...subjects who talked about their thoughts often felt better emotionally and physically.” and you can see virgil looking around like he’s realizing something.
and then he reveals himself at the end of this episode. just to thomas, but i’m assuming all the other sides would know as soon as thomas himself does, right? if they didn’t know already. what sticks out to me is that he specifically waits until the others leave. he doesn’t want to say it directly to them. and as for how this connects to the patton-virgil stuff...patton might think virgil doesn’t trust him/doesn’t want to open up to him. and/or virgil actually doesn’t want to open up to patton as much anymore.
then in healthy distractions, we clearly see that something is up between virgil and patton.
patton: “how could he feel b-a-d with his inner d-a-d?” virgil: “i can think of a few ways”
patton: “thomas made his decision and i think we should all just try to settle into it” virgil: “how are you telling me to settle into something right now when you have taken your sweet time to settle into things that you were uncomfortable with in the past”
so honestly i don’t really know what virgil’s talking about?? does he mean the events of moving on and the whole breakup situation?? or maybe he’s calling patton out for taking so long to drop the “angel baby” nicknames/treatment. or its implying that patton didnt know virgil was a dark side and is still coming to terms with it/coming to terms with the fact that virgil didn’t want to tell him & the other sides directly.
or he’s referencing something we don’t know of. either way, their relationship is obviously strained rn and it isn’t entirely clear what the turning point was between DWIT and ATHD.
then we come to the new episode. virgil doesn’t appear in POF at all, not even a cameo. i think thats the first time this has happened since accepting anxiety part 1. the only reference to him is the purple time-clock during the mario sequence and other smaller inclusions in the other video game parts. and then what happens in this episode?
patton realizes selfishness can be good sometimes. he accepts that the world, and thomas’ view of it, are not as black-and-white as he wanted to believe in svs. it wasnt a matter of “callback = bad vs wedding = good” bc thats not how the world works. beyond that, he accepts janus.
and i’m gonna bring up the idea that virgil is super mean and gets away with it. its true that the other sides, especially patton, are hesitant to correct him or reprimand him, which i think is bc theyre afraid of making him think they hate him. this idea could even be in the forefront of their minds if they really are that impacted by virgil not telling them he’s a dark side.
the thing is...virgil IS mean sometimes and he DOES get away with it. often, its just directed at janus or remus, and the other sides don’t WANT to disagree. when its directed at the other sides, i’m not sure its taken entirely to heart, regardless of whether it should be or not.
and we all know how virgil feels about janus. suspicion, anger, and aggression are all things virgil expresses towards janus from the moment he appeared as patton in CLBG.
so this all has been building up to me saying that the virgil-patton conflict has now become a virgil-patton-janus conflict. virgil and janus’ past is going to clash with patton and janus’ new alliance, which will strain the already tense relationship between virgil and patton. even worse, now roman is firmly in the anti-janus field, which will likely feed virgil’s anger, especially if he also blames patton for hurting roman.
and if we DO go to roman’s room next, and janus shows up, and the situation worsens...we might have a full blown “patton & janus vs virgil & roman” level argument on our hands.
i think virgil’s gonna be aggressive towards janus, as he has been, but when thomas and patton don’t dismiss him—when they call him by his NAME, not just “deceit”—we’re gonna get a rehash of “are you seriously siding with deceit?” except this time roman won’t be the one saying “are you seriously so closed minded to think that everything said by someone you dont like is automatically untrue?”
the other sides—or patton and thomas at the very least—are going to see that virgil’s blatant dislike of janus is not entirely warranted. and keep in mind that we still don’t know what happened between virgil and janus to make virgil hate him, so maybe it IS warranted. but its clear now that janus is trying to help (assuming he’s not lying which i rly hope he’s not lol) and i dont think its fair to thomas for virgil to want to disregard everything janus says. thomas and patton will realize this and they’ll have to confront virgil about his treatment of janus. we just haven’t gotten there yet.
its gonna be wild, honestly. i want janus to be fully accepted but it might be a while until we get there, just like patton took a while to understand the whole “grayscale morality” idea, and how its probably gonna take a while for virgil (and janus, tbh) to move on from whatever happened between them in the past.
i also believe this is headed towards a sympathetic everyone ending where theyre all important to thomas, acknowledged by him as important, and all actively working together, no dark sides or light sides, just sides. so yeah
basically, the next few episodes will probably be an explosion of all these char tensions and its probably gonna get worse before it gets better, and thats not even considering logan angst, creativitwins angst, or the orange side. but i think (and hope) it’ll all be fine and im hyped to see where this series goes :p
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