#but it also means that i look back on even recent work & say WTF LITTLE KID ALERT

[compacflt]

I have an anecdote about when I worked for a company and a co-worker left to work in a different state on military aircraft. He had to get a TS clearance and because we had worked for several years together he asked if I would be okay with being interviewed for his clearance. I said sure and an interviewer w the gov, arranged to come to my place of work and conduct the interview there. I was asked questions about him like how well did I know him, and whatever answer I gave led to more specific questions like if I answered a question about knowing his wife, they would ask if I thought his marriage sounded secure etc.

This memory of that experience was on my mind while I read your story and I wondered who Iceman would choose for his TS clearance interviews (and who the gov would choose for him) and what would they say? I feel like their "secret" would be uncovered in even a low level clearance (years later I had to submit names for a low level Public Trust clearance for my job) It was so embarrassing because I did not have many friends I was comfortable submitting for that as I kept my work and home life very separate.

Anyway, that is my "cool story, bro"

Thank you for such a great and well researched story!

this is indeed a cool story bro and touches on what is literally my story’s fatal flaw, which is: Yeah, a shitload of people would’ve known about it. I am going to hijack your question to talk about that, so my apologies, though i will get around to your question by the end. This is gonna be a really long post. I have a lot to say and a lot of ground to cover.

So I wanna start out by talking about the structure of this story and its core conflict, because while I’d like to say this story is rooted in an accurate depiction of the US military, obviously that’s not true; it’s rooted in the dynamic of the story that i wanted to tell, which is the story of a guy coming to realize the truth behind a Big Lie—him passing as straight. And that’s a pretty universal story, but it’s made more specific by the fact that a) the guy canonically wants to be the best in an institution that enforces the Big Lie and b) the guy canonically is so successful because he follows the rules/orders of that institution. So, for character growth, to put it simply, the guy (Ice) has to come to the conclusion that the Big Lie is a lie by himself. He can’t be told/ordered that the Big Lie is a lie, otherwise he hasn’t grown out of “just following orders.” (I’ll get to the Big Lie in a second. I made charts and story structure graphs below.)

The only other story about a Big Lie I can think of off the top of my head right now is Passing (1929) by Nella Larsen, which is about a Black woman in Chicago trying to pass as both white and straight. It’s a great book and I’ll try not to spoil it, you should really read it for yourself, but the terminology I’m going to use in this post comes from an analysis of it, so just to bring you up to speed—Clare, the woman trying to pass as white, is recognized by a friend, another Black-but-passing woman, Irene, who is shocked that Clare has abandoned her heritage (the truth of her, that is) and married a hyper-racist white man who doesn’t even know that she’s Black. So the book sets up a dynamic of the Big Lie that I’ve outlined here (hopefully it makes sense):

I built on this dynamic for my fic. Ice is both a “dupe” and a “passing figure,” in that he believes the lie that he is straight and also passes for straight—but it’s also more complicated than that because he’s not actually straight (getting to that). Mav is an “in-group clairvoyant” and can recognize Ice as passing because he is also straight-passing. The Navy are a bunch of “dupes.” But…what is Slider, for instance, or your question’s hypothetical government official who, yes, will 100% find out because people always find out?

In comes my ginormous-and-overly-wordy WWGATTAI Plot and Character Dynamic Summary Graph. You don’t really have to read it all, the only important bits for this discussion are the leftmost column (“plot”) and the green quadrant (“out-group clairvoyants”).

To summarize—people who know the truth can’t actually act on it, because for Ice’s character growth to make sense, he has to come to the truth himself. This forecloses the possibility of any outwardly homophobic action (by which I mean someone like a govt official or one of my lame OCs actually challenging him on his illegal relationship) in the plot, because for 90% of the story Ice is so fragile that he would probably just cave immediately and double down on the internalized homophobia. So, for plot purposes, everyone—including Mav, as it happens—has to sort of tiptoe around Ice’s obvious not-straightness and give him an unreasonable amount of grace so he can figure it out for himself. 

And therein lies the fatal flaw of this story. It is, like, not conceptually viable. Of course people would find out, of course the government would interrogate him about it, of course he’d have to confront the truth much sooner than TWENTY-FIVE years after he first starts messing around with Mav.  Which literally breaks my heart because I didn’t realize it was a fundamentally busted story until long after I had finished writing the base plot & couldn’t fix the overarching problems 😭 The thing is, it had to be this way, because there is at least a thirty-year gap between TG86 and TGM22, and TGM is obviously the emotional climax of the series and my story had to match that. So—fanfic and its canon constraints, everyone. 

But also… I can explain away these logical inconsistencies with story structure & character dynamic graphs to make the story make sense, sure, but it doesn’t change the truth of the matter, which is that… I hadn’t ever really thought about things like security clearances, and therefore wrote around them because I didn’t even know to consider them. And I know there are a bunch of other details in this story that betray my immaturity (anytime I talk about alcohol, for instance—I still am not legal to drink in this stupid country & have only cheap bad experiences to draw on; THE HOUSE—if i could rewrite this story from the beginning they would not have bought a fucking house together, what was I thinking???) and the lack of thought about the real-life logistics and consequences of secrecy is one of them. 

And it’s exactly what I mean when I say “I look at this story and all I see are its flaws,” which is why I wanted to write this post & get it on record. I have just enough life experience to read my own writing and know that it’s fundamentally unconvincing, and not enough life experience to know how to fix it. :(

But, to answer your original question, you’ve got me brainstorming a scene where Ice is asking Slider to be his character witness & Slider’s like “Look bro do you want me to lie to the federal government under oath for you because I will” and Ice has to be like “Legally I cannot ask that of you but”

#in case you couldnt tell it really bothers me #idk what the age range of the ppl who read my fics is but i knoooow there are #some parts of this story where you read it and you go #yeah a little kid wrote that #if you asked me what a 401k is with a gun to my head i could not tell you #so the fact that people care about my opinions on these like really grown up adult problems is #literally like the highest compliment ever #but i feel bad that i don’t have the life experience to give a convincing answer & i apologize for that #ive grown up so much & so quickly working on this project both as a writer and as a person & so thankful for that #but it also means that i look back on even recent work & say WTF LITTLE KID ALERT #so #sorry i turned your question into a fiction lecture #but lol that’s like the one thing i actually AM a little bit qualified to talk about #and your question represents like the fundamental fatal flaw of the story i have spent literally 100s of hours on #so I wanted to talk about it #thank you for the ask <3333333 #my birthday is in a couple days so just thinking about getting older lol #edts notes #top gun #top gun maverick #icemav #tom iceman kazansky #asks #hope to one day put this energy into like a job or sumn

[mamaspresley]

happy birthday | austinbutler

note reading this request killed me bruh who hurt u anon?? i asked the discord gc how i was even supposed to go about this... its so sad. but i love it. so here u go! wc 1,934 tw austin literally forgetting ur birthday. wtf.

req yes

     austin was running around like crazy as of recently. it was the last few weeks of shooting so everything was falling into place, baz was starting to align all the scenes and everyone could begin to see everything coming together, but that also meant that the cast had even more pressure on them. everyone was excited to be done but they were also a little sad — austin had explained it as a bittersweet feeling, relieved that the stress of the last two years was finally coming to close, but upset that he would have to go back to a normal lifestyle, for what was normal for him. 

     you always took pride in austin’s work, he was a phenomenal actor and you supported him as much as you could, whether that be going to see his works or being there whenever he needed. it was difficult, at times though, when he’d be gone for long periods of time or threw himself so far into his work that he seemed to brush you off. it was often, and you knew he didn’t mean to ignore you, but it just happened naturally although usually it passed quickly. this time, though, was different. 

     you hadn’t spoken a real conversation with each other in about a week, you guessed, and hadn’t really seen him in days. you always knew he came home, you’d hear the door open late at night and felt him crawl into bed with you, but most times you were too tired, and so was he, to stay up and spend time with each other, so he’d greet you with a kiss to your shoulder and then pass out moments later. you missed your boyfriend, but you knew how seriously he took his career and had made the commitment to support him when you first got together. you couldn’t complain — technically, you had signed up for this. 

     it wasn’t until your birthday that you ever said anything. 

     “you’re so old now! i miss you.” you were on a call with your sister, pulling into your driveway as she was connected to the bluetooth in your car. “how is everything? got any big plans for your birthday?”

     “yeah, actually. austin isn’t needed today so i think we’re gonna do something,” you answered, the smile on your face being your first genuine one in a while. you were excited to see your boyfriend, actually spend time with him for once in what felt like forever. “he’ll be done filming in a couple weeks but he’s been so busy lately, i feel like i haven’t seen him in years,” you explained, pressing the button to open your garage. 

     “that’s good. tell him i say hi. you still want me to come down for the premiere?”

     “yeah, definitely. i’m going with him to cannes but whenever it gets to theatres here we’ll get you a ticket,” you said, glancing over as you noticed the second garage door lift open and austin’s car reverse out. “can i call you back in a bit? i just got home.”

     “yeah, for sure. love you.”

     “love you too.” you hung up with your sister, then honked your horn to grab austin’s attention. the boy looked over, and his lips curled into a soft smile as he lifted a hand to wave at you. he looked tired, hair wet from the shower you assumed he had just taken and his thin smile not quite reaching his eyes. he still looked as pretty as the day you’d met him so many years ago, but you knew he was exhausted. this movie was kicking the shit out of him, and more for his case than yours you couldn’t wait for it to be over. 

     you rolled your passenger window down, him following suit, and you leaned into the passenger seat as you yelled to him. “where are you going? i thought you had the day off.”

     “baz just called, i guess he needs me to come and help him with piecing together a bit of the scenes,” austin explained, and you felt your heart drop a little in your chest. “shouldn’t be long, though. just a couple hours. i’ll be home for supper i think. you’re not working tonight, right?”

     he forgot about your birthday. “no, i’m not.”

     “okay, i’ll see you later then. i love you!” austin called, giving you a smile before continuing to back out of the driveway. he hadn’t even waited for you to say i love you back, and he had obviously forgotten why both of you had the day off. 

     you tried to shake it off as you pulled into the garage, and up into the house. you were greeted by your pup, who jumped on you as soon as you walked in the door and barked up at you. at least someone remembered your birthday. “hi, baby,” you cooed, a smile forming on your face as you knelt down to play with the small puppy. 

     you spent the rest of the day not doing much, watching netflix and answering calls or texts from your friends and family who reached out to tell you happy birthday. by the time six o’clock came around, you were starving so you made yourself something light to eat in case austin came home. it was ten o’clock by the time you realized, and you had nothing better to do so you went upstairs to take a shower and get ready for bed. 

     by the time you were getting out of the shower, your towel wrapped around you and toothbrush in hand, you heard the main door downstairs open and close, and you sighed. you wanted him to come home but to be honest, you were dreading it. it hurt, austin forgetting your birthday, but you tried to ignore the feeling as best you could. you continued brushing your teeth, hearing austin yell into the house, “y/n? you up, baby?”

     you spat out the toothpaste, calling back to him. “upstairs!” moments later you heard his footsteps walking into the bedroom, and the sliding door into your bathroom opened, revealing austin with his dark hair and grey sweatpants, a white t-shirt, and eyes circled dark with eyeliner. you looked up at him, speaking through your toothbrush. “you had to film today?”

     “yeah, baz wanted me to retake a couple things,” he explained, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. you mumbled something, finishing up before washing your face and moving into your closet to change. by the time you walked back out, wearing only a t-shirt of austin’s, he was lying in bed, shirt off with his sweatpants hanging low on his hips as he laid on his stomach, scrolling through his phone. you said nothing as you crawled into bed, reaching over to turn the light off. 

     “you okay?” austin asked, not glancing up from his phone but offering a hand, reaching over as he draped his arm around your chest, rubbing your shoulder. 

     “mhm.” you rolled over onto your side, back facing him. it was then that he looked over at you, but you couldn’t see. he retracted his hand and went back to his phone, deciding to ignore it. you were probably just tired. 

     it wasn’t until filming was done, austin technically being completely finished with the project, that he realized he had missed your birthday. it was the first day he had nothing to do, when he was lounging around the house all day, waiting for you to get home. 

     that day was olivia’s birthday. he had reached out to her first thing in the morning, texting her that he wishes her a good day, and that’s when it hit him. your birthday was just about a month before olivia’s, but he couldn’t remember doing anything for it. that’s because he forgot. 

     laying back in bed, austin ran his face over his hands. fuck. he was an idiot. he glanced over to your side of the bed, sheets still tangled from when you had gotten up and gone to work hours before without a word. usually you kissed him goodbye, or he’d do the same to you depending on who left first, but you hadn’t done that in a while. austin didn’t think much of it until he realized why. 

     this wasn’t something that he felt comfortable just texting you about, so he decided to wait until you got home. he had gone out and bought some groceries and things he needed, having a plan on how he would surprise you. it was about 6:30 when you got home, finally, austin felt like he had been waiting forever. as soon as he heard the garage door open, he scrambled into the kitchen, grabbing the bouquet of roses he had bought earlier, and positioned himself leaning against the island counter. he felt stupid, but he felt stupider knowing that he had forgotten something as big as this — and gone weeks without realizing, mind you. 

     “hi, my love,” austin greeted as you walked into the living area. you paused, your feet frozen in place as you looked

at him, dressed in black jeans and a black long sleeve, hair recently dyed back to his natural sandy blonde. he held red roses in his hands, a nice contrast to the all black he wore. “how was work?”

     “it was fine… what is this?” he had candles on the table in the middle of the room, a nice smell of something cooking on the stove, and the lights in your house were dimmed slightly, the night sky doing nothing to light up the room save for the moonlight. 

     “it’s a… birthday present,” he said, and when you looked back at him, you could see the nervous look on his face. austin wasn’t a generally nervous person, as far as being uncertain of himself went. you could tell this was eating at him, though, and you felt your heart skip as a beat as he began walking towards you. “i’m sorry.”

     you dropped your purse to the floor, pressing your lips into a line. 

     “i’m the worst person in the world,” he said, placing the roses on the table next to the candles and reached out, cupping your face in his hands. “i love you. and i’m sorry i forgot your birthday. i’m a fucking idiot and i don’t understand how you haven’t gotten right pissed off at me yet. i don’t deserve you.”

     you didn’t say anything, just accepted the hug that he offered you. austin held your head to his chest, his fingers moving to run through your hair soothingly. you could hear his heart beating only inches away from your ear, and you closed your eyes. “i love you too,” you mumbled, fisting at his shirt. “but i am mad at you. a little bit.”

     “why do you think i cooked and got you flowers and ran you a bubble bath?”

     “you ran me a bubble bath?” you asked, pulling away from the boy. he nodded, and you pouted your lower lip before standing on your tippy toes to press a kiss to his lips. austin didn’t let you pull away so soon, though, as he moved a hand to your jaw, holding you firmly as he bent down and kissed you back deeply. your tongues danced with each other, lips wet and soft as your breath mixed together and you couldn’t remember the last time he had kissed you like this. “is there room for you in the tub, too?” you questioned, pulling away from him. 

austin licked his lips, eyes cloudy as he chuckled. “i’m sure we can make room,” he mumbled, lips finding yours once more as he deepened the kiss again.

➳ @mesbouquins @reeldeal @suspiciousbutler @sagesolsticewrites @shimmeringlights44 @bonzaiblitzz @butlersbitxh @floralcyanide @sassy-ahsoka-tano @austin-butlers-gf @anangelwhodidntfall @she-is-juniper @butler-on-beale-street

#austin butler #austin butler fic #austin butler fanfic #austin butler imagine #elvis 2022 #elvis movie #elvis presley #baz luhrmann #jackie writes #mamaspresley

[scoobydoodean]

pronoun amon here, i didnt phrase my first all well. i moreso wanted to just ask your general thoughts on dean, gender and identity.

i love your analysis posts so i was just wondering if you have any thoughts around dean and his relationship to masculinity and manhood.

(For context). Well, I bring a sort of "Wtf does femininity or masculinity or manhood even mean" vibe to the conversation that a lot of conservative christians where I live don't really like. So while I don't at all think that's where you’re coming from, to me gender identity and expression is something that is personal to each individual and so answering about how someone else who's rarely spoken about it perceives their own gender identity just turns my brain to confused static. Some fans with different experiences or expressions of their own gender will feel differently about what can be inferred, or may treat Dean's relationship to gender as an opportunity to explore themselves, and all of that is fine—Dean is fictional. For me, it's as simple as saying that Dean describes himself using he/him pronouns so that is also how I describe him. Whether he does or doesn't engage with some traditionally/socially "masculine" or "feminine" traits or activities is neither here nor there to me.

My only bit of related commentary is that I don't actually think Dean thinks about things in terms of "being a man" as much as some portions of fandom want to think so. The "gendered insults" schtick in portions of Supernatural is something that is often misattributed to be the sole work of Dean, but it's happening all of the time and actually happens to Dean more than it comes from him. It also happens completely in his absence. For example, in 4.22, Ruby tells Sam to "man up" when he starts to question the morality of kidnapping the nurse and drinking from her.

I know that you're having a tough time here, Sam, but we're in the final lap here. Now is not the time to grow a persqueeter.

Examples recently in mind for me are Alastair calling Dean "Daddy's little girl" (4.16) and Bobby addressing his discomfort with Dean sitting down with him and telling him how much he cares about him (even though Bobby appreciates it) by saying "Thanks. Now, we done feeling our feelings? 'Cause I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts" (5.07). This isn't something I've been tracking, but @soft-pine (I hope it's okay to link again!) a while back linked at the end of this thread some google sheets counts they're doing of various subjects. If you go to the bottom and look at the tabs and scroll, you'll find one tab called "gender police ?" Showing how often gendered insults are used with the brothers and who's using them and on the receiving end of them most often.

You might also find this big long post about misogyny of some interest.

#mail

[skinnygirl-blogger]

hey blog: april 18, 2024🩷

hey guys! sorry i’ve been mia but i’ve been super busy with work recently. i promised an update on the hangout with my crush so, here it goes.

first off, there were SO MANY RED FLAGS! when i first drove over to his house, he was standing outside. well i had to use the bathroom really bad and so i had asked him if i could use his (note: he lives with like three other dudes that i’ve never met) and he said yes then proceeds to point at his house (it’s a trailer) and tells me where it is..while still walking over towards my car..i had to ask him to show me where the bathroom is cause i’ve NEVER BEEN AT HIS HOUSE BEFORE AND NEVER MET HIS ROOMMATES BEFORE EITHER. like, i understand that him and i both live in trailers, but each trailer is built different.

so he walks me into his house. it’s dark. i can’t see shit. i also WALK INTO HIS BATHROOM AND THERES SOME RANDOM GUY ALREADY IN THERE AND MY CRUSH STARTS LAUGHING AT ME. so i slam the door shut and i’m like “hey there was someone in there.” then my crush says “you can use my other roommates bathroom.” i ask him where his room is cause again, i’ve never met this person in my life, and my crush just points to where his room is.

so i’m walking over trash, beer bottles, in between recliners, there’s dirty dishes in the sink (a bachelor pad as people call it) and walk to his other roommates room on the opposite side of the trailer. i knock on his door and he doesn’t answer. so i turn around to my crush and i’m like “hey i don’t think he’s in there.” my crush (who’s just standing in the living room), walks past me and knocks on his roommates door. his roommate answers and he lets me use his bathroom. i then have to awkwardly walk through his bedroom towards his bathroom. and get this folks: HIS BATHROOM DOESN’T HAVE A DOOR. so i’m like “hey, your bathroom doesn’t have a door on it.” and his roommates says “it’s okay i’ll be out in a minute” then leaves his bedroom and closes the door.

so i awkwardly use the bathroom, feeling very VERY uncomfortable at this point and i book it towards the door through the house so we can leave. we decide to go to Walmart, and walk around. my crush doesn’t really say anything. at all. so i’m just trying to engage him in conversation and he doesn’t speak at all. i just kinda keep talking. he didn’t really seem interested to hanging out with me, even though i would ask him if he was having fun, and he would say yes but then asked me how does someone have fun in a Walmart? so i answer him “like this” and i playfully his his arm and tell him he’s it while running down a random isle (trying to play tag cause i’m a literal child lol). he doesn’t really say anything, or try to play tag with me. so then i decided to play Marco-Polo with him and he didn’t really play that either…we even went to the video game section (he’s a gamer) and he still didn’t say much to me..

like while we were walking around, he would walk behind me, but beside me which makes me think he was just trying to look at my ass the entire time. anyways, we leave Walmart and drive around for a bit listening to music, and he still just seems uninterested. i take him back home around 7pm since we both had work the next day and we needed to make sure we slept lol, and he was getting out of my car and he was like “okay, see you later”, i then asked him if he had a fun time and all he said was “a little”. A LITTLE???? WTF DOES THAT MEAN???

i tried my hardest making sure he was having a fun time with me and stuff, even ask him if he wanted to play music off my phone but all he kept saying was “i’m fine” or “this is fine” or “i’m here along for the ride” that’s all i got..he never really said anything else. is there something wrong with me?? like, he had asked ME if i wanted to hangout that day..he asked ME. and told me that we could do whatever i wanted. and all he could say was he had “a little” fun??? idk, but it made me think he was wanting something else from me. i don’t think i’m gonna hangout with him again. i’ve just never had this happen before. like ever. i’m gonna take that whole day as a red flag.🚩

#tw ed but not sheeran #tw ed sheeran #tw 3d bl0g #tw vent #tw 3d shit #tw ed bllog #tw 3d vent #tw 3d fast #tw ed but not ed sheeran #tw 3d diet #girlblogger #girlblog #this is a girlblog #boys #hangout #crush

[kyomon0]

been thinking abt the Gakuen AU for a little ...

(Sry if it's messy, i'm brain-dumping on mobile)

Tachihara goes to a different school because he doesn't want to wear the same uniform as his brother (as far as my understanding goes, I'm not sure if it's correct) so I have a silly little Headcanon for it:

Tachihara transferred out before Chuuya, and had dyed his hair and got piercings during the transfer. So.

They've also never really entered each others social sphere's, so Tachihara didn't have much of a reason to be friendly to Chuuya when he transferred, and Chuuya didn't have any reason to recognize Tachihara or remember his name.

Tachihara would've been on the disciplinary committee, which is part of why he would've recognized Chuuya, and Chuuya would only recognized Tachi if he didn't have whole delinquent look going on (mostly, if he still had black hair)

So comes the day where Tachihara mentions something abt their previous school, Chuuya's just like, hold up, wtf do you mean you went there, i've never seen you???? And Tachihara's like, yeah I used to go there wdym

And Chuuya's still confused, so Tachi says his hair is dyed so it was black back then (new information to everyone lol). Chuuya's still confused and shouts that literally 90% of students would've had black hair. So Tachi says he was on the disciplinary committee (another shocker), and now Chuuya thinks.

The disciplinary committee? There were four students on there, and he's very obviously not those three. He would've had to have been the kid that was hanging around that Ookura girl. The one that was clearly the most normal of the group, that actually did the work how you would expect it to be done, not... whatever the other three did.

And Chuuya, in his head, just comapres. The polite, stereotypical Japanese high school student, part of the disciplinary committee, making sure other students stay in line. Okay. And he just looks at this mf in front of him. Bandaid on nose, dyed hair, piercing, improper uniform and is just like, there's no fucking way.

They have an argument abt it.

That is most of what I have for that sadge. I am attempting to draw this, it's,,, going,,, slowly〜

The image of Chuuya just thinking, and then suddenly slamming the table and pointing at tachihara shouting 'THAT WAS YOU!?' has just been really funny to me recently.

Also the idea of their two schools having an event together or something, and Teruko just pops over out of the blue, climbs up Tachihara, and demands him to take her somewhere with Suegiku following behind, just absolutely baffling everyone when they leave. Tachihara makes no complaints abt it either, confusing them even more.

#I don't know if this is coherent ngl #Im not back reading any of that #bsd #bungou stray dogs #tachihara michizou #nakahara chuuya #bsd gakuen #bungou stray dogs gakuen #gakuen au #I'm learning slowly to just share my hcs #because i've never done that ever #bc i don't know if people will like them or not #so i hope you like this enough #and that it's coherent enough #I just rly like identity reveals and anything adjacent #Formatting is shit i am not fixing it

[catbountry]

This is so weird to look back on. The Robotic Boogaloo had such a mixed reception, but I feel like it was a pretty important part of TF2's history, since nothing like this had ever been done before. And being able to be a part of it... like, damn, dude. Jerma985, who Scout is named after because he just is Scout, has read something I wrote long before he became the internet's favorite chew toy streamer. He didn't mention the comic in this video, sadly, as he uses most of the video to point out that this could have just been done in the Steam Workshop. Which, I mean, I guess, but this was an experiment.

This was something that had never been tried before. I can't think of many other video games that would openly celebrate the contributions of their fans the way Valve did with TF2. The only example I can think of that goes beyond that is Sonic Team publishing Sonic Mania. Roblox and SecondLife allow users to submit custom content and make money off of their creations, but Valve had a means of quality control by allowing the community to vote on items to be included in the game before this update even happened. Players were already used to the Steam Workshop system. That wasn't the case for the Robotic Boogaloo, when a bunch of items made by Facepunch users, all themed, were added to the game all at once, with no input from the rest of the player base. I can see now why that might be a bit irksome, to say the least.

I wonder if people look back on this update more fondly, as apparently people were less generous to more recent community updates. I'm pretty sure End of the Line and Jungle Inferno updates were received pretty well, but it's been so long and I stopped playing TF2 regularly in 2014, with my last session being in 2016, which is seven years ago, and the game has changed a lot since then (I didn't even know TF2 had weapon skins the same way CS: GO does until fucking today). So my knowledge of how most community updates past 2014 were received is... limited, to say the least. I think those updates were looked upon as warmly as they were because Valve allowed people to add more than just hats. The people working on Robotic Boogaloo were peeved that all of their contributions would just be hats. I worked it in as an excuse plot for Death of a Salesbot, even. Valve definitely listened to this feedback from players and I think that helped future community updates.

The Robotic Boogaloo was mostly organized by Cantsman, who recruited a bunch of people from Facepunch. There originally was supposed to be a map (and I think weapons? maybe?), however, the files for the map were found fairly recently and it was revealed that the map needed a lot of work done on it, and it would remain unfinished. Cantsman's intent was to bring together different parts of the community; not just the modelers, but he also recruited a bunch of fanartists, which was not even necessary. Cantsman was a regular poster on TF2chan as well as Facepunch, and as an artist, he wanted to invite members of that community as well. The fact that any of us on the fanart side, which included people who didn't do 3D modelling,

Somebody I used to be friends with was very upset that I was the only writer brought on board, but a logistical perspective, I really don't know how you could expect to get multiple people who were known primarily for fic involved in an update like this (we are no longer friends because she couldn't even pretend to be happy for me, like wtf). Cantsman wrote and conceived of the larger scenario of Gray Mann being the source of the robotic hats himself, and my main contribution was writing the comic with him to flesh out this idea. Those are my words written out, but it was Cantsman who mentioned the idea of Future Engineer as a throwaway idea. I pounced on it immediately. I did a little bit of supplemental writing for blurbs on the promotional site, but other than that, most of it was Cantsman. There really wasn't anything that additional writers would have been able to do, and there was very much an effort on mine and Cantsman's part to make sure that the writing did have a cohesive voice, with a tone fitting for TF2 canon. I can't help but read the things that I wrote and feel like they are very clearly written by me. My dad got to read the comic the year before he died, and he was incredibly proud, saying that even if he didn't go in knowing that I'd written it, he'd still be able to tell.

I am so fucking proud of Soldier wearing a tiara and eating a money sandwich. That shit is still funny to me. I don't care if people didn't like Kisses von Butternubs. Yeah, he's no Poopy Joe, but there's so much off-the-wall craziness in TF2 canon that it's hard to compete with a team of professionals. Cantsman and I were coming to it as people who drew and wrote comics for fun.

It's been 10 years. I didn't realize the anniversary was last month; one of the biggest changes of my entire adult life happened in May and goddamn, that month went by fast. I should probably message Cantsman, see how he's doing. I feel incredibly lucky that when he was looking for a writer from the fanfic community to help him when he was stuck after having only written a single page, he picked me to help him. Literally, he just messaged me on Steam and was like "hey, I'm working on this top secret project, it's a fanmade TF2 update and I could use some help writing. Are you interested?"

And I answered with a very enthusiastic "sure, why not?"

My good friend @nevvyland would tell me that I needed to apply myself and work harder to find an industry job, and that one wouldn't just fall into my lap. And lo and behold, this job fell into my lap. Nevvy had to stand corrected.

I wonder how everyone else that worked on it is doing. I wonder if they'd be okay with me reaching out to them. I posted a lot of cringe throughout the 2010's, but the reasons for that are a completely different story for another time. As I've said before, I feel like the 2020's and me being in the latter half of my 30's have put a lot of things into perspective.

I don't mind being known for writing Death of a Salesbot, as well as Respawn of the Dead and With Apologies to Harlan Ellison, but these were things that happened so long ago. I fear my newer projects will never again have that reach... but that's okay. I'll just keep chugging along with my art and writing, and make things because I enjoy making them.

Much better than being remembered for calling a horse dildo beautiful.

#tf2 #tl;dr #not fan fiction #fandom history #just a bunch of sappy brain vomit honestly I'm feeling a certain way #Youtube

[weirdships000]

TW for violence.

Zane was walking through the halls of phoenix drop high, he was currently ditching his classes because he didn't have the energy to be in a class of people he hated. Zane was looking for one of the Shadow Knights, recently he'd been on pretty good terms with all of the, especially Gene, so he felt comfortable going to hang out with them.

Zane couldn't find the Shadow Knights, which was odd since he knew most of the Shadow Knights hangout spots, so he decided to just leave the school, he didn't have the energy for this school anyways.

Zane walked out of the school, he passed the alleyway next to the school and heard grunting, Zane being as curious as he was decided to see what it was, it was Gene fighting with Balto, Zane's one working eye widened, Gene and Balto were the two toughest people Zane ever met, they usually were very civil with each other, sometimes they even worked together.

Zane had never seen them fight before, it was like watching two wolves go at each other, there was blood and bruises on both of them, they both seemed to have broken noses and a few broken fingers, they also seemed to both be missing teeth, Gene already had a few missing teeth from fights he was in and Zane knew Baltos very back teeth were missing because when Balto left teeth marks in Zane after beating him there were missing teeth in the patern.

Zane was both terrified and excited to witness this, terrified because of the general threat about being around these two when they're in bad moods and excited because it looked like Balto was losing and Gene was winning, plus Zane always found watching Gene fight hot.

Zane stayed just out of view.....or so he thought. Gene saw Zane out of the corner of his eye, Gene stopped scowling and started smirking, Gene decided in that moment he was done playing with Balto, he grabbed Balto by the hair threw him to the floor and started banging his head into the concrete floor, Eventually Balto was knocked out in a pool of his own blood.

Zane felt goosebumps form on his skin, especially when after Gene knocked out Balto he looked Zane in the eye and grinned.

"You know spying on peoples personal affairs is rude?" Gene spoke.

'Fuck.' Zane thought, people who piss of Gene don't usually have a good time and spying definitely is something that pisses Gene off.

"Hiiiiiiiii Gene, how are you?" Zane asked awkwardly.

"oh I'm fan-fucking-tastic, I just finished beating up fucking Balto only to realize I'm being spied on by a little annoying nerd." Gene says in a tone dripping with sarcasm.

"In my defense, I did not mean to to spy on you, I heard the fight and wanted to see what was happening, I did not know it was you or Balto who were fighting." Zane replied.

"Well why didn't you go away once you realized it was me?" Gene asked.

"Because........I think you're pretty when you're covered in blood." Zane responded awkwardly.

Gene blinked a few times in a row in a way that said 'Wtf', before he responded with "You think I look pretty covered in blood?"

"Well.....yeah, you're gorgeous." Zane spoke.

"Thank you, I didn't think anyone thought that." Gene spoke.

"Who couldn't think you're gorgeous, you're you!!" Zane replied.

Gene smirk turned into a soft smile. "Since you have managed to make me not want to kill you, you can leave."

"Thank you Gene!!!" Zane said in a gleeful voice, he was always happy when Gene was happy with him.

#gene x zane #aphmau zane x gene #zane x gene #aphmau zane #zane ro'meave #aphmau gene #tw violence

[what-if-nct]

hiiii today's reminder is a notes app list of observations/thoughts from the concert that I kept to say to you lol:

- xiaohenyang black on black dance break I sobbed

- the first VCR started with jungwoo and jeno and I thought they'd do Js first then it went to yuta and my brain said "mera juta hai japani" which is a line from an old Bollywood song meaning "my shoe is japanese" and it cracked me up too much to pay attention to the rest of the VCR

- about the from home stage: RENJUN MY BABY smiling when he made it through his famous voice crack part and all the members putting their mics up to him for the "and it starts from here our home" bit 😭😭😭

- new stages/songs i don't remember being performed before that I loved: Oasis (why does sm hate winwin's voice), kangaroo (i need a well shot performance vid), ok, pado (tho why would they call it pado and not wave bc my brain immediately read it as pedo and then it was a sexy song and I was Disturbed), call d (what does that even mean lol they're not even trying to hide the frat boyness anymore), and you specifically are gonna love bat and alley oop

- why were the mics so bad. why was the camera work so bad, esp in nct u songs where they clearly don't know which part is whose. also they were focusing wayyy too much on close-ups for choreo-heavy songs (rip nectar). also the random hour long delay in between wtf?? tho I did like wayv banter in the meanwhile, speaking of which

- WHY DID THEY CHANGE WAYV'S INTRO TO "TO THE WORLD THIS IS NCITY"?!!!!!!!! also they clearly just tossed wayv up there to buy time while they fix the sets, it was kinda hilarious. they're pushing winwin to act cute and winwin taps his in ear and says "give us more time" (as in the staff asking them to fill up more time before the performance) and they jumped on him with "you can have all the time you want to act cute baby" to which winwin tries to hide behind ten but he's a whole head taller than him lol

- baggy jeans is good and I'm sure it'll grow on me more, but the t7s unit reunion feels wasted on it. love love LOVE ten's rap verse tho

- songs i loved live but really missed the missing members (this is mostly taeil tho sungchan makes a couple of appearances): round& round, my everything, taeil's empty spot in good night broke my heart, misfit, the 90s love bit in resonance. i like that they didn't have anyone cover taeil in 127's songs tho because he really is the heart of their music to me

- conversely: why does winwin still have 0 lines in boss, why not give him you know who's verse??

- apparently the new 127 album will be the most 127-esque yet and should I be scared?

- so so so very few resonance era songs :(

- some beautiful people: chenle, winwin, ten's wayv outfit, jisung in his black outfit (is that allowed???), taeyong's little braids even though I'm not sure how to feel about this hair, KUN 😭, yuta being the only one without a shirt in resonance for some reason

- Kun, Doyoung, jeno and Chenle together in the end that's my husbands and our sons

Hiii!!!, I might be responding super super out of order.

Overall the missing members left a layer of pain the whole time but the members who covered for them did amazing, Yuta hitting taeil's high note my baby did so well. And Jisung too, speaking of, recently I have been fighting any attraction to Jisung back with a stick, but the past day I... Can no longer fight it like hello???? Sir?? Sir?? Also I really noticed how much he and Winwin look alike I used to think it was just their lips but its their cheeks and smiles too. Jisung still looks more like Taylor Swift though. Who is coming to Miami next year! I think it's an amphitheatre so might picnic in the parking lot. Anyway next!

I just wanna talk about how much of a cutie patootie sweetie pie Renjun is every time I see him I'm like heres the boy! and his little smile! His redemption. And just everyone clamoring to him and Winwin, the princes of NCT.

I really didn't want to spoil all of the new songs yet so I just skimmed over them. And I did allow a little more of Bat and you are so right but but I left some surprises and I'll go back after the album release. But Hendery!!!! That is all. Call D, I have so many questions but the sheer vibe of the song answers them. It's not an NCT album without a song covertly about sex. Baggy jeans from what I've heard so far, same I'm not completely sold on it but I didn't hear the whole song so who knows.

The production value was definitely lacking and they seemed confused about how to film it. At least Winwin had a few of you knows lines in Wayv's songs but I always say this but it's cause the first time was so hard but the Yixing vibes are so strong with Winwin, and I worry. SM if you appreciate Winwin and give him everything he needs he won't find it else where just give him more please. Give Wayv more!!! I am an exo-l who's seen a lot and I'm scared okay. I don't want history to repeat itself. Again!! Cause exo was history repeating itself the first time.

I think we should just be prepared for the next 127 album it could honestly be anything, genuinely anything. I think just go in open-minded and ready to hear them out.

And I just wanna add just Xiaojun Yangyang and Hendery, that's it Xiaojun Yangyang and Hendery just wow look at them also.

Ignore the text I don't agree with that, that's just the tiktok. I only okay you know what nevermind.

Also Yuta can *** ****** ** me

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Review: Perfect Propose

Title: Perfect Propose (パーフェクトプロポーズ)

Author/Artist: Tsurukame Mayo

Release Date: 2021/05/28

Cast:

Maeno Tomoaki x Masuda Toshiki

Kanbara Daichi

Kubota Hikari

Sakuraba Arisa

Tsuyuzaki Wataru

Katou Wataru

Oonishi Kousuke

Sondo

Fumitake Ishigoro

Synopsis:

Between his intense workload and asshole boss, salaryman Hirokuni is burnt out! He’s on the edge of a nervous breakdown when Kai, an childhood friend he used to look after, comes to visit for the first time in 12 years. Kai has recently become homeless, so Hirokuni reluctantly lets him move in.

Kai quickly confesses that he is gay, and Hirokuni worries that his chastity might be in danger! But then Kai gets to work, serving up delicious home-cooked food for breakfast, lunch and dinner…

Isn’t it kind of nice to be taken care of for once…?

The domestic story of a handsome, cool guy with great housekeeping skills and a lonely, burned out salaryman!

Review Proper

I remember that this was quite popular way back when it was still ongoing, but I never read it for some reason (neither had anyone in my circle wtf). The romance aspect of it all is as generic as it can get. I mean, there’s literally so many things that come to mind when you say “childhood friends with dubcon and the bottom’s an annoying tsundere”, ya know? Hello, Sakuraga Mei and Nekota Yonezou. I do, however, need to admit that I was intrigued with how Mayo employed the issue of black companies here. No matter how bs the start of their cohabitation was, there were so many layers to both of their problems, adding to the realism of it all. To all my lovelies who are reading this review and are stuck in the same situations, all the best to you. 

I won’t be talking much about the plot  ‘cause most of y’all already know what went down here, so I’m gonna jump straight into the technicalities now.

FINALLY! MASSUU REDEMPTION!

I mean, he did great in that Momose An shitstorm, but it’s almost been a year since I’ve heard him bottom. AND I LOVED THIS PERFORMANCE OF HIS!!! I absolutely adored Massuu’s performance as Red Riot in BnHA and was low-key hoping that he’d use that tone in a BLCD, but I’ve never heard it in the BLCDs of his owned so far. Looking at Hirokuni, I thought that Massuu would use something similar to his calm and brooding Ao-senpai tone, but he came at me with his Red Riot on the get go! It took a little getting used to, but his Red Riot Hirokuni really grew on me. I suddenly got my dream come true, y’all. *wipes tear*

As for Mr. Maeno,

I love how Massuu and Maeno were in back-to-back Momose An dumpster fires and redeemed themselves here. I call this a Momose An cleanse. 👍I also love how I just heard Kawahara in a younger tone before this and now I have a younger Maeno! MY GOD CHESK OF SEPTEMBER 2021! ARE YOU SOME SORT OF GENIUS??? Anyway, like all the seiyuus mentioned in this paragraph, Maeno also did phenomenal. UGH. HE SOUNDS LIKE ULTIMATE BOYFRIEND MATERIAL HERE ESP AFTER HE WENT DOMESTIC!!! Y’ALL GOTTA HEAR HIS BOYISH LAUGH GOODBYE

Me calling to check if there are any spare Maenos for sale:

We had great pacing, voice work, and it was true to the manga overall. It had some addends, but nothing really major. I have to confess that I read the first chapters from Yuutosei because futekiya’s translation was annoying in some parts ‘cause they structure their sentences poorly sometimes and like using idioms randomly. I mean, how does a plain “You’re drunk, aren’t you?” and “I am not!” translate into: 

We love to see it. Y’all are also missing an (as) before sober. Those two aren’t even common in American English. 

And let’s not forget their preview:

vs the original:

As you can see, Kai’s supposed to only be in monotone during the whole series, so there are no exclamation points in the raws. And why’d they turn Hirokuni into an asshole??? I mean, “ひでーな” is literally “You’re so cruel/That’s so mean” in English, but I chose “ouch” ‘cause it needs to be short and “meanie” sounds weird for Kai. Anyway, Hirokuni’s a tsundere, but he’s definitely not an asshole! Don’t copystrike me, Christopher.

Uhh, please still support the official locali translation, though. Thank god I can understand Japanese. For more cohabitation when they’s, I would recommend the two BLCDs I previously reviewed in this log, Kare no Iru Seikatsu and Shinkonsan. Both are licensed now too, so support, support!

#blcd reviews #blcd 2021 reviews #perfect propose #movic #tsurukame mayo #maeno tomoaki #masuda toshiki #kanbara daichi #kubota hikari #sakuraba arisa #tsuyuzaki wataru #katou wataru #oonishi kousuke #sondo #fumitake ishigoro

[crimsun-n-clover]

do you ever have one of those half-crushes where it’s like. you’re so attractive and have an incredible personality and are so great to be around. and if i think about it too much it will fester and suddenly whoopsie another crush on a friend. can’t do that shit anymore.

like we were friends in middle school and recently reconnected completely by chance. the day we reconnected, i was at an event where i knew i might try to start shit. two people who had severely hurt two of the people i love were in attendance and she was volunteering with concessions. we catch up, we’re still compatible, we get along great, and we’re talking about our current lives. she tells me she’s dating a guy who was mr. [our high school] and he kinda sounds like a dick. i’m joking like “LEAVE HIS ASS…. for me~” and she’s responding “honestly i should haha” wtf do i do now??? well i LEAVE like a PUSSY and go catch up with my friends to see if they’re alright being around people who hurt them. they’re not. so i kinda sorta whacked one of them.

my friends are grateful but also mortified. they leave early because they were miserable anyways. i go back to her once the guy i whacked sics his friends on me like “hide me hide me motherfucker had it coming i didn’t do anything unjustified” and she just goes with it. she was actually glad i did it and let me hide out in the concession booth for a bit. she keeps telling me “i love you, you’re the type of crazy i need in my life right now” and i’m just like (thumbs up) because i just hit the basketball captain and have the whole team looking for me. he gives up on me cooperating with their interrogation once they did find me, but keeps walking by the booth and staring at me. i opened the bottle of mustard sitting right next to her and poured like half of it in my mouth to unsettle him and he left.

she was so fucking hyped.

“THAT WAS INSANE OH MY GOD YOURE SO COOL ILYYY” and all that shit and i know damn well she isn’t straight so like,,, interesting.

and now we’re friends again.

so one time i was like “i’m by you so do you wanna meet up for lunch” and she’s saying “yeah ofc!! i’m just waiting on my bf to get here” so i show up and we start talking. by the time her bf gets there, i’ve already picked a fight with some old lady who was being a dick to me and have been working on convincing this girl to join our upcoming dungeons and dragons campaign. he sits down and we make eye contact.

the first thing my dumb ass says is “holy SHIT you’ve got weird eyes… THATS A COMPLIMENT. i mean it in like a david bowie way. i fuckin love bowie” and he turns to her like ???? and she tells him “oh they have TWO bowies on their battle jacket it’s a huge compliment” and he’s just like “oh alright cool” and offers me some of his food. when i tell you this man is a SAINT. putting up with my bullshit and teaming up on her with me. i usually disapprove of the boyfriends my friends have but i actually liked him.

it’s not like i want them to break up or anything. they’re great together. she’s just so. radiant. she actually laughs at and goes along with all the stupid shit i say and do, despite being not the type of person to do that herself.

and even when we don’t talk too regularly, i keep seeing her on dnd tuesdays as i’m walking to the school and she’s walking to the gym. every week i try to convince her to join us, but alas, the gym rat is too strong willed.

“pleaseee” “i can’t” “don’t you wanna join the campaign because you love me so much and you want me to be happy” “i do love you” “i’d be ETERNALLY INDEBTED TO YOU MILADY” “i have shit to do” “more important than little ol me? i’ll make your character sheet for you AND make your stats crazy bonkers high” “do you have any idea how disappointed my parents would be” “GOOD. when you finally push them over the edge you can live with me in my car. i already have blankets stocked up under the seats. and a stuffed cat. his name is clarence.” “i’d love that” “SEE” “is clarence stolen” “….” “oh my god”

like isn’t that kinda cute? chronically bitchless dungeon master trying to charm local dedicated gym rat into playing the nerd game and will actually give up a dice set from their hoard for her.

what a headline.

she’s carrying her workout bag and i’m holding fifty pounds of illustrated guide books BEGGING her to just follow me and watch me start fights between the players for “character development”

in yeehaw terms, i’m a bit sweet on her. a BIT. but as long as i keep my distance and don’t ask if her and her bf are still together it’ll be nothing. but if she joins my campaign? and i get to cast her as a paladin druid (at least that’s my suggestion)?? and she’s single???

i’m fucking HOPELESS. but those are crazy specific circumstances so like i’m probably alright.

[kyetalksshit]

Omg I came on here to post a cute lil blurb about how much I love my friends and was reminded that I'm SUPPOSED to be keeping a dream journal more or less hahaha oops

Anyways last night's dream was... a trip and a half tbh so let's recap it while I still remember (even tho it's almost 1am and I should be asleep but here we are)

There was definitely a smaller dream that i completely did not remember even when I first woke up, let alone now. But the last dream...

SO. I get home from work or wherever and I come back downstairs with my dog so she can go potty outside. I notice that there are a lot of people running in and out moving my roommate's stuff out of the house. I'm like omg thank the gods maybe he's moving out and I'll have the place to myself for a little while!!!

I ask someone in passing (I think it was his family or friends) "hey is he moving out?" And they're like "huh?? No, he's not leaving." I'm like 🤨

Then once the living room is cleared out, they bring in this HUUUUUUGE couch like one that has no business being that big. And I overhear someone (or maybe I just knew somehow? Idr) saying that he can afford to upgrade now that he's got this extra money (ie me paying rent). I then see a little dog that looks a lot like his dog that passed a few years ago irl but with a bit of husky? I'm like ?? Weird that he didn't tell me he got a dog but I've got pets here so ig it's not that big of a deal. I pet the dog and say hi.

...then I meet ANOTHER dog, this time a big St. Bernard/GSD mix named Tuck (who I know irl because of my job but in this dream he was now also my roommate's dog). I'm like?????? Wtf man

AND THEN I MEET A THIRD DOG. This one is a small doodle of some kind with wiry hair and smells awful and in dreamland I had a memory of this dog being at the house one other time overnight and I was complaining because it was very yappy. So knowing that not only were there suddenly THREE NEW DOGS in the house without my knowledge, but that at least one of them was gonna be yappy and irritating???????? 🙄😭

I'm irritated but letting my dog play outside and I guess my sister or friends or something are there too because I'm chatting with them about how annoyed I am and I drop my phone, only to pick it up and be DEVASTATED because the screen is SHATTERED literally shattered like to the point that touching it is making my finger bleed. I tape it and then my friend/sister is like wait a minute he has more pets??

I'm like IM SORRY WHAT and she points and says there's a bunny there and one, two, three cats. So that means he has 7 animals??????

Idr how but somehow I find out that he's had the bunny and 3 cats this whole time but made a point to hide them from me. Which is bad enough but three dogs ON TOP OF THAT???? Sets me off.

So I start bringing my dog inside (and now all his friends/family are gone and so are my friends and my cats somehow got out of my room so now I have to wrangle them too) and I see him laying on the couch under a single throw blanket, snoring. And I'm so mad. Because irl he keeps sleeping on the couch EVEN THO HES LIKE 50 and I hate it, so ofc I also hate it in the dream.

I start mumbling to myself about how irritating that is and then start directing that energy at him and getting louder, and he wakes up. I continue yelling at him louder and louder about how he is a grown ass man with a bedroom and a mattress upstairs and it's so frustrating to have to tiptoe past him all the time, and then I bring up how he has people over every single night (which irl he was, though recently it's been more sparse, which is v interesting that it lined up in the dream) and then say I mean you've been getting a LITTLE better on that but-- (about to transition into how LOUD he is on his own)

And he interrupts me by yelling "yeah that fell through, so THANKS FOR THAT!" (Like implying I did magic to force them out)

I go "I DIDNT DO ANYTHING?????? BUT IM GLAD THEYRE GONE"

And this red knotted string on the wall (like those Chinese good luck pendants) that in this moment i understand to be one of his wards, falls off the wall and onto his head. Like as if by saying "I'm glad they're gone" I hit one of his wards and it broke right in front of us and bonked him on his head (giving him nasty repercussions).

He turns to me so angry and curses at me in what my dream self interpreted as Arabic (his native language), like he was cursing me out but also trying to fling evil eye at me. I spit it back at him to deflect that energy, scoop up my pets, and storm upstairs to my room. And as I do I yell down "GROW THE FUCK UP." And then I slam the door behind myself, leaving him speechless below.

I remember collapsing on my bed with my pets and then going ok yeah no I need to move, I cannot stay here and live like this. And then of course I have a panic when I realize that my (shattered 😭) phone is still outside where I had it last and I do NOT want to pass him to go get it.

And then I wake up.

#dream log

[moonknightly]

Hi!! I was so honoured that my little ask got you opening google docs, hope it's okay that I'm back to gush about your writing some more!!!

"It sticks out to him because he’s seen undernourished children die from a common cold because their little bodies just couldn’t handle it." This detail is so genius to me. Like you did such a great job providing medical details about why someone who had been kidnapped and abused for that long would be in a very weakened and vulnerable state, but this part also tied it into Santi's past in a way that elevated everything even more!! The pacing, the characterisation, the heartbreak and pain of it all is just so, so moving. Doesn't matter how many times I reread it, this part always makes me so emotional.

"He hates having her out of his sight, he hates thinking about the possibility of her opening her eyes and he’s not standing right there" I WILL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS SENTENCE. One detail about the story that I absolutely adoooore is how after he missed her for so long, he didn't immediately start touching her, that it was actually very difficult for him to get himself to a point where he felt like he could (and the detail about the nurses slowly getting him acclimated to touching her again? MY HEART) but with sentences like this you show how much he still cares and it makes the internal conflicts he is having so rich. If it hasn't been clear already I am obsessed with everything you write but this series has such a special place in my heart.

OH OH OH ALSO the conversation where she says that she doesn't want to keep him from the life he built without her and he says there was no life without her.... I think about that bit CONSTANTLY. Like I can imagine her internal monologue, how she must wonder if he found someone else, if he feels the same way about her still, the total uncertainty of what her life will look like now bc overnight everything she had was ripped from her. And it is so heartbreaking to think about the fact that she doesn't know Santi's inner monologue, bc even if you're married and you know someone really well, that doubt and insecurity of whether you still have a place in someone's life can haunt you. To have Santi in a single sentence basically throw that doubt out the window???? I don't want to work I want to religiously reread every word of this story and cry over how much I love it

currently crying in the middle of a volkswagen dealership while i wait for service to give me my car back wtf i

i mean it when i say this, i've literally had no interest in writing recently because i've felt like no one enjoys my shit anymore but your asks have brought back my inspiration and desire and ugh ugh ugh i've literally been sitting here editing and you keep me holding on bc spoiler, one day i might try to turn it into an original piece...hehehe

i'm so glad that there are so many different parts to this story that stick out for you, i always find it so interesting to see!! for me, one thing i constantly think about are months seven through ten like why did i do this to myself ugh ugh ugh

[asoulofatlantis]

When I first played the game, I told Gatta to disobey the orders and fight on the frontline, because I thought that was what Tidus would do, what fits his character best. I didn’t know what it would mean. I’ve only realized what I had done when I found Luzzu und he cried about why Gatta was on the frontlines, when he wasn’t supposed to be. My first time playing final fantasy X and I actually was responsible for this boys death. Yes, in a sense, that saved Luzzu... but... Gatta is basically still a child, so I feel like letting him live is the better choice - it also the canon one, as far as we know. However, I found it very cruel of the game to make me decide if he lives or dies, without giving me a chance of even realizing what I was doing. How could I have know back then what would happen?

This was so damn weird. Even Auron looks like “WTF?!” XD I mean, he just straight up hugged him without much thought. But he should know what Auron knows and that he is unlikely to be happy to see any Master of Yevon, no matter their past together...

This moment practically already gave away that the masters of Yevon know a lot more then the teachings would tell. But when you play it for the first time, it is just confusing you.

I am surprised that anyone on that beach survived that attack at all. Seriously. Lucil was directly on the frontlines, it doesn’t make any sense that she made it.

Auron saw right through that mess from the beginning. But that is what you get for knowing the full truth. If you understand Yevons true nature, it all makes a lot more sense. Back then, when I played this game for the first time, I was still wondering if Auron was right. Tho the survived turning back to Yevon quickly showed me, that he could not have been that wrong.

So Cecil and Elma, both on the frontlines, both sitting on Chocobos made it out alive but their Chocobos didn’t? What did they do? Hide behind them or what? Once again, the survivor of that massaker don’t always make sense.

This certainly is on the list of conversation I wish I had never activated. I mean... did they really have to be so cruel? Torn in half was a bit much. Just dead would have done it quite well too.

I know and understand why many summoner chose the people they love as their Guardians and I got the whole “people I trust” - speech too. But who would take a little kid along on a journey full of monsters?

You know... you could see that Yuna too actually wanted to stay here until nightfall to watch the lights and all but wasn’t willing to be so selfish to say it and yet was still disappointed when Auron said they wouldn’t wait that long. I get that in a sense, they were in a rush and all, but given Yunas Situation, it was really unfair not to consider her feelings and what she wishes and needs. But when it comes to this, I always thought Auron was sometimes far too strict with everybody.

Yuna was just a child back then, one who just recently lost her father and now was brought by a “strange creature” to an unknown place far away from home. So I understand while even tho Kimari was worried when Yuna jumped into the water to get brought back like that, he also was glad she was having fun, given her sad and complicated situation at the time.

Did you ever notice that this is the only shoopuf we ever see in this game, even tho such a big thing is hardly to overlook? The reason thing shoopuf stil works here, even after over 10 years and such an injury, is because its the last one. We don’t get much information about it, but in the infamous audio drama that I would usually ignore, it gets mentioned that its lost its mate a long time ago and wished it back. That race likely went extinct for one reason or another and he is the last one alive, unable to produce new shoopufs, because its mate also died. Sad storys no one ever tells you.

I just beat the AlBhed that kidnapped Yuna AGAIN and now the game just crushed on me. Urg. No I have to hear that story about bad Machina and war again V.V

Something seemed off when I tried to open the game again. Maybe I should restart the computer. Or maybe I take a break and try again later.

#FFX Mona Version

[rafescoke]

Brother’s Best Friend ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Request: heyy I’ve recently found your account and I just felt in love with the way you write and with your works so I was wondering if you could write a fic where the reader is Kelce’s sister, she’s sitting alone at home and suddenly she hears a doorbell ringing, she comes to open the door and that’s Rafe and she says something like “Kelce’s not home” or smth like that and Rafe answers “I actually came to see you” or smth like that. It can be smut or fluff or whatever I don’t really care. Sorry if this is chaotic but I just want the reader to be black and I have bad ideas lmao 😭 sending love ❤️❤️

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Fooling around with your best friend's sister is not a good sign, especially when it involves something more than skinny dipping and drinking alcohol together.

Warnings: Slight smut, mentions of drinking, slight angst, teasing Rafe Cameron

A/N: I'm so close to 700 followers wtf y'all are truly amazing ily! I'm finishing all requests in my inbox for the new few days; thank you to those who put their trust in me to write their ideas <33

(Y/N) could never deny the attraction she felt towards a certain brunette boy with that charming smile.

The feeling evolved for the first time when he came over to her house to see Kelce. He was so polite to her; giving her a turn on passing the ball and scolding Kelce and Topper for not wanting to give her a chance at playing basketball in the swimming pool.

But she was only 8 back then, and she regarded the feeling as nothing more than a silly crush.

Rafe Cameron changed when he entered high school. (Y/N) couldn't explain what was wrong, but he was not her Rafe anymore. He didn't hold the door for her, scold Kelce for making fun of her or do anything that used to make her heart soar.

Her thoughts were disrupted when a fresh blue towel hit her squarely on the face, causing her to yelp in shock.

"Do you wanna come down to the lake with us?"

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, pulling the towel to her side, and closed her magazine with a snap. Her eyes fell back to the three guys, lingering on the tallest one a little bit too long.

She cleared her throat, "No, I'm tired."

Kelce shrugged, walking towards the entrance of their home from the swimming pool. He didn't feel like having (Y/N) around anyways, because that would mean he would have to protect her from his friends.

Kelce loved his friends, of course, but he also knew the other side of them that uses girls like Kleenex tissue only to throw them away again.

"On a second thought-" (Y/N) said, stopping the three boys from entering the big house. "I think I'll go."

"You sure?" Kelce asked. God. Now he would have to play the big-brother stimulator for the whole night.

The night sky was dark, and the only light came from the moonlight up above and sometimes from the flashlight of each other's phone. Boozes laid messily on the wooden deck and their clothes were discarded all over the place.

Not one person was sober, and they were all laughing to a joke by Topper.

"Okay, okay, last one-" Topper said excitedly. He shivered, and (Y/N) thought about it as a response towards the cold lake water or the excited nerves of sharing another stupid joke. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Easy. To get to the other side," Rafe answered proudly. A beer drop slid down from his lips to his chin, and (Y/N) felt a strong desire to lick it.

"Wrong."

"Okay, fine, I don't know."

Topper smiled widely, and (Y/N) could see this joke coming from a few miles away. "To get to the loser's house. Knock knock."

Rafe pulled a face, his eyebrows raised. "Who's there?"

"The chicken."

Kelce and Topper's laugh filled the silence around them, and (Y/N) found herself slightly smiling at the joke. Rafe groaned, finally understanding the joke and being angry at himself for willingly taking the bait.

"Okay, okay. The joke's over."

Kelce laughed again before taking a full swig of another beer bottle. He stared at the sky, and let out a loud huff.

"Wish we can go up there."

"Me too, man," Topper agreed. He joined Kelce by staring up at the dark sky, both clearly high out of their minds.

"Do you want to?"

(Y/N) looked to her side, not noticing Rafe who had moved from his previous position near Topper to beside her. She quirked her head to one side, her face questioning.

"Go up to the sky," he explained. He watched as she looked up to the sky, her mouth slightly parting. Her chest heaved peacefully, and her wet body donning the lilac bikini never looked so beautiful and perfect.

"Nah. I'm too scared."

"Even when I'll go with you?" he smiled. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, though her heart was soaring brightly; she would never feel scared anymore if he were to be around her all the time.

"Yeah. Even when you’ll go with me. Besides, it's not possible."

"Let people enjoy things," he said, and he was so close to her now because she could smell the coffee mint from his breath. Her heart was beating wildly, though this would be the ten-thousandth time he did this to her.

It never failed to leave her completely breathless.

"You're drooling," he whispered, and used his thumb to wipe her wet lips from the beer. Her breath hitched, and she couldn't utter any words back. She was too mesmerised with the whole situation.

His fingers stopped at her chin, looking into her eyes, and he was petrified too. He leaned in, but before anything could happen, (Y/N) moved away. He cleared his throat, and swam back to the deck.

‘I’m drunk’ was repeated by him all the way to the the place he threw his clothes off, shaking his head at the thought that he was so close to kissing her. He looked back to her direction in the lake, still staring at him. He focused back on the ties of his shorts, and made his way back to the Kelce’s house.

He ignored his best friends calls.

. . .

(Y/N) never really liked school, but she loved the after-activity that she got herself in.

Like cheerleading.

She used to think of the sport as something quirky, but in truth, once she was accepted into the school’s cheerleading team, she had never been more into a sport than before.

She walked down the field to the other side of the track where the other girls were waiting for her. Her training skirt flew slightly from the wind, and she was trying to hold them down all while carrying the water bottle and a duffle bag.

She exchanged a few greetings with her other friends, putting down her duffle bag and her water bottle. The sun was scorching hot, and all she felt like was eating ice cream inside of their boat whilst streaming down the lake, but the last time she had ditched cheer practice, it hadn’t ended well.

“Uh-oh,” someone exclaimed behind her. “Big bro is coming.”

(Y/N) looked up to the field, and sure enough Kelce was running towards her in his jersey. (Y/N) sighed, not knowing what she did now that could earn her a lecture from Kelce.

“Hey, I’m bringing a girl home after practice,” he said. “Would you mind getting a ride with someone else?”

She groaned, “Fuck, Kelce, no. You can tell your new scandal to fuck off because I am not getting an Uber to walk back to home.”

“Look, please? You can ask your friends to give you a ride, right? It’s important,” he begged. His eyes were scanning her friends now, obviously trying to find someone who could help his sister, and when he found one, his smile quirked upwards. “Yo, Sarah! Can you drive (Y/N) home after practice?”

Sarah walked towards them, her blonde hair up in a ponytail. She slung her arms around (Y/N)’s shoulders, noting the exasperated expression on her face, and gave Kelce a glare.

“You should let her drive a car if you’re going to bring a girl home after school,” she said. Kelce groaned, knowing the amount of shit he will be getting from the people around him, but he was truly trying to make it right for this new girl.

“Look, I’ll buy y’all anything for a week. Food? Sure. Clothes? Sure.”

Sarah clapped her hands, seemingly excited, and forced (Y/N) to say yes. She wouldn’t mind driving (Y/N) home, because she wanted to catch up with her about some gossip too.

“Fine. But I’m driving my own car tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” was all he said before he jogged down to the soccer team.

That evening was hell to (Y/N). She couldn’t get the formation right, the sun was getting hotter and hotter, her hair was sticking out weirdly, and worst of all, she couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday’s event.

He was so, so close to her.

“(Y/N), come on! What’s gotten into you? The top part, again!” The coach yelled, slapping her hands against her lap. There were sweat forming on her forehead, and she was obviously hot and bothered from this whole situation.

But sport was sport. The coach wasn’t going to let today’s training to waste, and she intended for the new number to work.

(Y/N) muttered a soft ‘sorry’ before going back to her position, her heart still thumping at the thought. The cheer started, and her mouth was saying the words, but her brain was somewhere else.

The two guys by her side picked her up by her calf, and she felt the wind gushing out from beside her ears. She was high up in the sky now, throwing one arm upwards and balancing herself on one leg, and it was finally time now, to twirl into the two boys’ arms, but she wasn’t ready. Her mouth didn’t utter any words from the cheer, too focused on the step, and before she could jump back into their arms, she felt herself slipping.

“(Y/N)!” The coach yelled, running towards her by the track. Sarah and the other teammates were surrounding her now, watching as she groaned on the ground painfully, holding onto her arms.

“Okay, I take that as the end of today’s training,” the coach said, sighing. “(Y/N), are you okay? Can you walk?”

(Y/N) held her thumbs up, because she had worse injury than this before. Hell, the boxing fight she used to have with Kelce in their childhood was more painful. She sat up from the track, feeling the heat of the ground burning on her bottoms, and stretched her fingers. The pain coursed through her veins at the feeling, but kinda liked it.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” Sarah said, helping her up. She groaned when she finally stood on her two feet, feeling so painful all she wanted to do was lay back on the track, but she knew she had to go home.

She allowed Sarah helping her limp towards a black Mercedes, her eyes closed the whole time.

Okay, scratch the fight with Kelce. This one was more painful than ever.

“Can I stay at your house?” She blurted when Sarah drove out of the school gate. “I don’t feel like listening to my mom’s lecture about my leg.”

Sarah glanced at her from the rearview mirror, watching as she spread her leg out the whole backseat. The ice bag someone had gotten her was pressed against her calf, and she was sweating from the heat and trying to contain the pain.

“Yes, of course, that would be better,” Sarah said. She had other plans that evening, but helping (Y/N) overstepped all of them.

“So what’s up with you and John B?”

Sarah turned to look at her fully on her face, furrowing her eyebrows. “What do you know about John B?”

(Y/N) laughed, “The light’s green.” Just on cue, the car behind them horned at Sarah, and she quickly pushed on the pedal.

“How do you know about John B?” Sarah asked, biting her lips. If (Y/N) could find out, she couldn’t imagine what would Rafe do if he finds out.

“God, don’t be worried. I’m not going to tell anyone about this, okay? Just relax. I think it’s cute.”

Sarah’s worried expression softened, “You think so?”

“Yeah. At least you got to be with whoever you want. Some people can’t have that.”

Like her. Kelce would kill her and dump her body in the ocean for the sharks if he ever finds out how much she likes Rafe.

“You’ll find the one soon. How about that guy in your maths class?” The car turned to the right, nearing the destination.

“No. I’m not looking for anyone.”

There’s only one, but Sarah won’t like the answer.

The time was 8.23p.m. now, and (Y/N) had been in Sarah’s room for a total of 3 hours. After catching up on new gossips, watched a movie, did her English essay, she felt extremely dehydrated.

Sarah was sleeping peacefully beside her, being so tired after the practice and school, and (Y/N) didn’t feel like waking her up. She have been to The Camerons household, but that was only for Sarah’s birthday party a few years back.

She sighed, getting up from the bed to find the kitchen. The house was like a maze, and she wished they had some kind of a map to browse through.

Alas, she found the kitchen, her muscles screaming from all the wrong turns she took before. She knew where the plastic cups and plates were situated, having to help Sarah get them during her birthday party, so she didn’t have any trouble getting some.

She drank the cold water quickly, feeling the liquid sloshing down her throat. The feeling was so, so good that she wished she could go through it again.

“I do not know where your sister is, Kelce,” a voice sighed not far from the kitchen. “I told you you shouldn’t bring that girl home and just drive (Y/N) home yourself.”

The voice, unmistakably Rafe, was getting nearer and nearer. (Y/N)’s eyes widened, trying to find an empty space to hide in, but there were none. She panicked, still looking for a way out that she didn’t notice the tall figure behind her.

“Oh. Found you.”

His hair was dishevelled and wet, his chest heaving and he was shirtless.

What a nice way to bump onto each other.

“Take a picture,” he started, shutting his phone off and placing them in his shorts. “It’ll last longer that way.”

Now we’re talking about the new Rafe.

(Y/N) scoffed, pushing him away and making a disgusted face at his sweat sticking on her arms. “I’m here for Sarah.”

“Why? Did she die or something?”

God. He really is insufferable.

She made to push him away to return to Sarah’s room, only for him to grab her by her waist.

“Move.” Her tone was stern, but her stomach was flipping wildly. She tried to not look so bothered, but failed miserably.

Rafe seemed to notice her behaviour because he didn’t let go of her. “Come on, where’s the fun in that?”

She was on the same level as his neck now, and he could still smell his expensive cologne even after he swam in the swimming pool. She sighed, placing her hands against his chest.

“Move.”

Rafe laughed, putting his hands up in defeat, and went to grab the same glass she was drinking from. He refilled the glass and downed the content, and (Y/N) had to look away from the innocent move.

Maybe he was just saving water by not using a different cup.

“Do you need help to return to Sarah’s room or something?”

“No, I’m fine,” she refused, and made sure he could see her fake annoyed expression before she returned to the hall she came from. But there were 2 halls now, and she completely forgot which one she had been before.

“Really?” Rafe stood beside her, and she looked up to his amused face. “Because you’re in the wrong hall. It’s the other exit of the kitchen, darling.”

. . .

Why couldn’t she not see his face every single day?

It was truly troubling her, to see that boy everyday, because she couldn’t think properly every time.

The lights from the stadium blared widely, and the deafening screaming coming from both teams’ supporters rang throughout the whole field. (Y/N) was sure the whole island could hear them too.

Two things happened earlier than evening. Number one, her skirt wasn’t completely dried after being sent off to the laundry for a week, and her hair wasn’t just cooperating.

So here she was; in a shorter uniform skirt, her hair hung up into a ponytail with lots of hairspray. She wished for nothing but to be all cuddled up with her blanket in her room.

“You’re okay?” Sarah asked. She fixed (Y/N)’s lips gently, getting the lipstick and lipliner even, and gave her a kiss on the cheeks. “Don’t worry about the skirt. It looks normal.”

For a little girl.

(Y/N) sighed and involuntarily pulled down the hem of her skirt. Ten minutes from the game now, and she was nervous she would flash everyone on the school compound.

In the locker room, Rafe was sitting right next to Kelce as his best friend prayed for a win tonight. He was never that religious, and he didn’t feel the need to mutter a prayer to anyone. But tonight, he listened intently to whatever Kelce was saying because he needed to win this cup more than anything in the world.

“You’re okay?” The coach asked, patting him on the shoulder.

“Yeah. Just nervous.”

“Don’t be, you’re the Star Player. Right?”

The Star Player.

Rafe gave him a smile, and went back to his praying.

When he first entered the field to meet the rival team, his eyes couldn’t help but scanned the bleachers to find his dad. Ward wasn’t there, but Rose and Wheezie were cheering for him.

Of course.

He sighed, and went straight to the middle of the field. It’s funny how everyone was there to support him, Rafe, the Star Player, the jock, the whatever else people were saying about him.

He just wanted Ward to see him.

“Come on, man, it’s fine,” Topper said, patting his back. “He’ll come later.”

Even his friends could see how miserable he was feeling.

The first match of the game went smoothly; he scored a try goal, everyone was cheering loudly, but it was just then that one of the opponents came knocking Rafe by his side.

Rafe fell to the ground with a loud thud, earning so many gasps from the stand.

“What the fuck?!” Topper pushed whoever responsible for his fall, and the sound of a whistle rang throughout the air. “He pushed him for nothing! You saw it, fuck!”

Rafe groaned on the ground, clutching onto his arms, and he tried to spread his fingers, but couldn’t. His other teammates were surrounding him now, trying to get a good look of him, all while Topper and Kelce and another friend of his went off to the referee.

Rafe put his other hand up, trying to sit up. “I’m fine, I’m fine! Move!”

The other members scattered away, sighing in relief when Rafe came back to his legs. The referee, still getting yelled at by Topper, shook his head at something he said, and before anyone could process what happened, Topper tackled the opponent who had pushed Rafe down to the ground.

Kelce pulled Topper away after a few long seconds, telling him to stop. But one thing about Topper is that he just won’t stop.

“Stupid fuck!” He yelled, throwing another punch.

“Topper, stop, they’re going to throw you off the field!” Kelce yelled. Finally, he separated them away after the opponent’s friend pulled his injured friend away.

The referee, expectedly, pulled a red card to Topper, earning a groan coming from their coach and the stand. Rafe cursed, knowing that Topper’s one of their strongest member. He watched as Topper tried to argue with the referee, but it was no use.

“It’s okay,” Kelce said, patting his back as he made his way back to the bench. “Relax, bro, okay?” Topper calmed down after the coach said something to him, but Rafe could clearly see the distress written on his face.

“You’re okay?” Kelce asked, pointing to his arms.

Rafe could move his muscles now though he could feel the sharp pain from doing so. But he was too content on winning this game.

(Y/N) watched as the second match unfold, her teeth biting into her lips in fear. She didn’t feel like having the next week full of gloomy students and disappointed teachers, so she wanted the cup as much as everyone else.

Rafe was fast, throwing the ball smoothly back and forth with Kelce and his other friends, but it was apparent that the Star Player wasn’t feeling like himself.

It might be the arm, or the fact that Ward Cameron was too busy with his work to see his son playing.

37 minutes had passed, and the other team was leading. They only had 3 minutes left, and with the team being so drained out and their captain with a broken arm, it was clear who was winning.

The whistle blared through the field again, noting the end of the match. As the other team supporters cheered happily the other side of the stands muttered silently to each other about the game.

(Y/N) watched as Rafe yelled something at his teammates angrily before storming off to the locker room. He winced in pain, holding his arm for support, and ignored every calls from his friends as he made his way to the empty room.

Looking around quickly, she muttered a ‘be right back’ to Sarah, and quickly followed Rafe into the locker room. She wanted to see if he was okay, and if he needed help with his arm.

In truth, she just wanted to be there for him.

“Hey,” she slowly said, and Rafe’s head perked up to see her before he looked down to the ground again.

“What do you want?”

She felt a struck of pain across her heart at his tone, but decided against it. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I was just trying to see if you need anything,” she said, and when his eyes finally looked up to her again, she unconsciously pulled her skirt down again.

“Yeah? I don’t need anything. Go!”

“Wow, you’re a dick,” she scoffed, and before Rafe could mutter anything back, she exited the locker room and straight to the cheer team. She felt a mixture of anger and embarrassment all at once, because God, Rafe Cameron did not just yell at her for trying to be nice.

She should’ve known better than to be ‘nice’ to him. He wasn’t the same 8 year old she met 10 years ago.

. . .

A week had passed from the game, and everything went back to normal.

Except for one person.

Rafe didn’t come to school the next Monday, not that (Y/N) wanted to see him after getting yelled at, but she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

He didn’t just broke his arm; his father also chose not to attend his game.

It was finally Friday, and (Y/N) was too happy to stay home and continue watching Love Island. Life is better when you are focused on someone else’s relationship other than yours.

She was rolling in her bed, casually smiling at the cheesy joke made by one of the contestant, and before she could hear the reply towards the joke, the doorbell blared throughout the house.

(Y/N) groaned, thinking how Kelce must’ve forgotten his keys again, and waited a few more minutes so that he would just leave her alone and go to that stupid prick, Rafe Cameron’s house.

But the doorbell rang again, and she had no choice but to open the door. She was all alone in the big house, having both her parents still working and her maids having the day off.

But when she opened the door, the boy standing before her was the last person she wanted to see.

“Hi,” Rafe said.

“Kelce’s not here,” she mumbled, and pushed the door close. Rafe’s quickly put his hands to block the door from closing, and (Y/N) pulled away after deciding not to crush his other only working hands.

“What?” She asked, in the same tone that he had given her in the locker room. She felt good when his eyebrows were raised.

“I’m here for you.”

“Why? Did I die or something?” Bingo.

“God, you’re impossible,” Rafe sighed. “Can I talk to you? Just us two?”

(Y/N) sighed, wanting to get this done, and opened the door wider to grant him into her home. (Y/N) closed the door and pressed her back against it, crossing her arms.

“Okay. Talk.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” He said. “I was just so angry with everything. I was pushed and Topper received a red card because of me—”

“You didn’t do anything, Rafe.”

“Yeah, but he was just trying to protect me. And, and I was just so mad at myself because I couldn’t play properly like I usually play. I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean it.”

(Y/N) sighed, “It’s okay. I’m over it.”

“Really?” He stepped closer, and this time, (Y/N) allowed him. “Thank you so much!”

He pulled her into a crushing hug, and before she could put her mind into it, he lifted her up and spin her around.

“Okay, okay, now you’re just pushing it,” she groaned, hitting him on his chest. “Put me down, Rafe, I swear to god.”

Rafe put her down, his face shining happily. They were close again, like that time in the lake, and (Y/N) didn’t feel like pushing him away again.

Because maybe, that 8 year old him was somewhere in there.

“Uh—” he looked away, scratching the back of his head. “Do you wanna. . . watch Netflix?”

(Y/N) cleared her throat, “I was watching Love Island. Wanna watch with me?”

Rafe nodded, anything to get closer with this girl, and followed her upstairs to her room. The first time he entered her room was 9 years ago, and it was only because Topper and Kelce had pranked him into thinking that her room was the gaming room.

“What are you doing?” The girl before him yelled, and before he could explain how he was lied to, she threw a pink hairbrush at him. He groaned from the pain, rubbing his head.

“I’m sorry, I thought this was the gaming room!”

“Out!” She yelled, and he quickly obliged.

Her room was still pink, but it was now filled with so many books, clothes and makeups instead of the dollhouse and toys he saw a few years ago.

“Is this the pink hairbrush you threw at me?” He laughed, holding the pink tool. (Y/N) snatched the hairbrush, embarrassed, and quickly stuffed them into the drawers.

He placed himself beside her on her bed, watching her as she resumed the video. He focused on the show, trying to find at least something interesting from the show, but there was nothing.

2 episodes later, he was too into the show that he pressed on the stop button before they could continue on the next episode.

“I wish they would just communicate,” he said. “Like the whole show’s pointless. They didn’t try to talk to each other about their problems.”

“Yeah, that’s what makes the show interesting, Rafe,” she said as if that was a fact, “And besides, if they communicate, everyone will win the show.”

“Then that’s just good. A win-win situation.”

“You don’t get it,” she groaned, looking into his face. “There’s no use in fighting with you about this.”

She pressed on the resume button again, and instantly, Rafe pressed on the stop button.

“Rafe, I will—”

“You still haven’t apologised for throwing the hairbrush at me.”

She widened her eyes, “That was 9 years ago.”

“And?”

“Fine,” she placed her laptop aside, and turned to fully look him in the face. “Sorry.”

“Not sincere enough.”

She groaned, “Rafe, I am terribly sorry for throwing my pink hairbrush at you. I am so sorry that it hit your face and be the reason why you’re still holding vengeance at someone.”

“I’m not talking about that kind of sorry.”

“Fuck, you’re annoying,” she said. “I’m not going to bow down to you or anything.”

“Just a kiss.”

She looked at him back, her heart stopping at his words. “No.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because you’re Rafe?”

“Rafe? Okay, fine. I’m not Rafe. I’m Rafael.”

“Okay, it’s still a no. You’re Kelce’s best friend.”

“Didn’t you kiss Topper last year?”

“That was a dare—” she sighed. “And it didn’t mean anything.”

“Exactly. This won’t mean anything. This is just a sorry.”

It would mean everything to her to place her lips against his.

“This is sexual harassment.”

“Not if you want it too,” he said, and leaned closer to her. “And you do want it, right? I can see it in your eyes.”

She didn’t know why God would put her and Rafe in this damn position over and over again, because it wasn’t helping her to get over him.

She looked down to his lips, and how it was so inviting, and she wanted more than anything to kiss him, to finally give herself to him, but she was afraid.

“Rafe—”

“Shut up,” he cut her off, and pressed himself against her. Their kiss was slow and passionate, none like neither (Y/N) or Rafe had experienced before. Her hands found themselves wrapping around Rafe’s neck, pulling him closer.

He pulled away, grinning. “I thought you didn’t want this.”

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes, and pulled him in for another kiss again.

He pushed her down onto the bed gently, still kissing her, and his hands were roaming down her body. She was so, so perfect and every time he saw her, he would have to look away to stop the unwanted thoughts forming in his head.

During the game last Friday, he had to pinch himself from staring at her legs in that goddamn skirt for too long.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he whispered, and she hummed in response before pushing him over so she could take control. She sat on top of him, grinning widely. She was in heaven; seeing him all worked up under her with his chest heaving.

“You would be surprised at the amount of times I imagined myself on top of you like this,” she said, placing her hands flat on top of his chest.

Rafe grinned back, trying to contain his feelings. “Yeah? Wanna show what else you’ve been imagining?”

She leaned closer, making sure to brush her bottom against him and hearing his soft groans. She placed a soft kiss against his cheek, and whispered into his ear.

“Would rather have you show what you’ve been dreaming of me.”

Rafe licked his lips, loving this side of her, and he wanted more than anything to make her his. She looked so innocent sitting there on top of him, smiling and biting her lips.

Before he could touch her in ways he never did to a girl before, a voice rang from outside the room.

“(Y/N)? Have you seen Rafe? I saw his car outside,” the voice said. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. “You’re okay? I’m coming in, okay?”

“No, no, wait!” (Y/N) shouted, scrambling from her position on top of Rafe as he quickly pulled her up, but it was too late.

Kelce saw them in the midst of trying to get away, with his sister’s leg on one side of his best friend and his best friend’s hands still around his sister’s waist.

“What. The. Fuck.”

-

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @unfortunatekiwitrash @scottybitch @asimpwriter @amaya124 @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u @badbussylol @savannah-elliott @angelreyesgirl100 @haterpenny @beehappyyy @alwaysclassyeagle @maybankslut @kayleea122 @clearbolts @lovelyxtom @christianaevans @jemimah-b99 @opierdalacz @dangerdolns @wildflowerliv @classygirlything21 @pogueslandia 

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smuts #rafe cameron imaginens #rafe cameron one shot #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey imagines #outerbanks #outerbanks x reader #outerbanks imagines #outerbanks smut

[draftingteacups]

Do you think that after shopping for hours in Lumiose City (and maybe Laverre too bc Valerie lives there and she is canonly a fashion designer) Vil and Crewel would yell at whoever is in charge of the Pokemon Performances bc How dare they not let men perform as well ?

NOTE: This ask got longer than I expected because there's something cool about exploring another world that I like as a concept. As such, this will be considered non canon, but it'll still be a fun read regardless!

idk how they managed to connect the worlds, but the only one that I can remember in recent memory where the two worlds were connected in any way is through the Wish Upon a Star Event ask that I wrote a while back.

Although if the whole NRC crew is going to Kalos, it's going to be a wild ride. They'll go on a tourist-guided run through the city because, in the game, it's so hard to maneuver through the city without knowing where to go.

When the NRC crew and staff got the confirmation that they were going to Soni's world, even her home region of Kalos, there is no small way of saying there was excitement amongst them. Delicious cuisine, vast landscapes, and the world itself was a thing that they were very hyped for.

Of course, there were rules in place.

They couldn't share pictures of Kalos online because people would obviously ask where those pictures were taken. They can still take pictures, but no sharing them, which makes Cater a little sad but he concedes.

Another thing is that they had to be careful to not show their magic or use their magic abilities because magic doesn't exist in her world.

There's also the unwritten rule of looking trainers in the eye means that you'll fight them and everyone's wondering "wtf Soni, you didn't mention this". The thing is, Trainers do this with other Trainers, so in theory, the ones without them should be fine! The others with their Poke Buddies on the other hand... 😅

NRC crew and staff are told to bring minimal belongings like two days' worth of clothes because they were going to go shopping for stuff in her world to blend in better as well as a bag of sorts to carry things in.

Soni will work out the money, but if things like Nuggets, Star Dust, and Comet Shards can be sold to the Poke Mart without a blink of an eye, then those would be easier to deal with than Madols lol

I mean, it's an entirely different world's currency, so it'd be tough to explain that sort of thing. Just the idea of Malleus, Leona, and Kalim dropping a bunch of nuggets, gems, and more at Soni's door ☠️☠️

After getting the necessities, the arrangements for sleeping began and Soni was doing her best to be anonymous with it all, which is extremely difficult to do when you're the Champion and everyone's so damn curious about what the hell she's doing. Eventually, she managed to get everyone into a room accommodation with their respective years, or probably their dorms?

Granted, they were going to stay in Lumiose City for the trip for the most part. When Crewel and Vil got wind of how one of the Gym Leaders was a fashion designer and one that enjoys Soni's company whenever she visits, they demand to go there and see that it would take a good few hours to get there. They ask her to book a bus or figure out a way to do that, but Soni was not having that BS.

Because again, Soni's the Champion and everyone in Kalos is kinda nosey, but Soni uses her connections to the Pokeball Factory because of what happened and gets them a free trip there! Two in one stone!

The First Years often try to get info out of Soni as she's planning the trip, but she's very tired-looking and more pissed off than usual because Crowley foisted most of the stuff onto her and she had her own things on her end to deal with.

When the day finally arrived to go to Kalos, it was an overwhelming experience. Because this was a magicless world that ran with the help of Pokemon. Everywhere they could see, there were Pokemon. Little Skiddo on the sidewalks. People using taxis and motorcycles to move around, the latter interesting Deuce, Epel, and Ortho who managed to drag Idia into visiting as well. There were Pokemon Performances on the big screens, media of the latest news, and all sorts of things.

It was such a contrast to everything that they've ever known that they were stunned until Soni told them to keep moving. They all got onto a bus and they get their introduction to Lumiose City where they learn a whole lot about it.

Malleus is super into the whole thing and is pointing things out to Lilia as they pass by the older-looking buildings. Ace, Deuce, and Grim with Happiny are just looking out the window, asking Soni about certain places

Grim: "Henchman, what's that?"

Soni: "Lumiose Tower, it's the centerpiece to the city and is the home of the fifth Gym Leader. You'd be surprised that the Gym Leader's actually not that much older than me."

Crowley's on a leash as Crewel ensures that he isn't just going to blow their entire cover alkdsfkj

It's a damn good thing that Soni's there and she's lived there since birth because they would've gotten so lost so quickly ☠️☠️☠️ She has to dress down because when you're the Champion who's got a lot of complicated crap with a lot of people (fans, anti-fans, nobles with a penchant for revenge, etc.), you need to be more aware of a lot of things. That's why when they stopped by the Pokemon Labs, Soni was able to relax because the people at the labs would be way less willing to spill information.

Cue everyone roaming into the gardens and such with Professor Sycamore showing them around himself. The Professor has a lot of questions for Soni to answer, but Crowley interjects and says that he hired Miss Monet to show them around. You can see Soni rolling her eyes-

Anyways, the others are quite enthralled with hanging out in the gardens, although Azul gets jumpscared by the more mischievous Pokemon in the garden when he tries to take something from a tree for TWST. That's when Soni says that not all the Pokemon in the garden are hers and if they cause trouble, she wasn't going to bail them out of jail. She also adds that because she was back to her role in Kalos, she's technically obligated to hand over criminals to the police if something happens.

Needless to say, everyone somewhat forgot that oh yeah, Soni's role and stuff oops aldsfkjas ☠️☠️☠️ That doesn't stop general Pokemon hijinks from happening.

By the time they stopped to get dinner and go to their hotel, turns out that there was something weird going on and some jackass took up the room that the boys were supposed to share, namely Riddle, Ace, and Deuce. When Soni starts to leave, the mentioned three wonders where she's sleeping and she's heading back to her mom's condo. Ace bugs her to let them sleepover with Deuce and Riddle looking at him like "Bro, no-" and Soni's really contemplating trying to find a last-minute accommodation for them because like hell she wants her mom to meet them.

That doesn't happen. Needless to say, Soni is very much getting dinner from her mom's favorite place and telling her mom ahead of time that guests were staying over as well as the circumstances behind that.

Lemme just say this: Mama Monet is the best person in the entire world and that is my humble opinion. When Mama Monet comes home from a long day at the school, she's greeted by the sight of Soni hanging out with the three boys, telling them about the stuff on the TV and explaining things with dinner warmed up for her on the table.

The first thing that the boys think when they see Mama Monet is that Soni really looks like her, aside from a few key differences. Mainly the eyes and the personality. Ace greets her normally, Riddle is polite, and Deuce introduces himself as normal before introducing Happiny.

Deuce: "Happiny, this is Soni's mom. She's your Grandma."

Mama Monet understands what's happening immediately (she's handled the same thing from baby Pokemon before) and Happiny gains another grandma! Happiny gets so much love from Mama Monet and the woman never stops smiling aaaa-

When Mama Monet eats her dinner and chats with the boys, they are very curious about Soni when she was younger since the teen doesn't really talk about herself much. Mama Monet just gives them vague answers just like Soni because that was something that was Soni's to tell. When Mama Monet cleans up, Deuce helps out with dishes as does Riddle, she tries to shoo them away because they must've been tired from traveling around the city and the encounters they had throughout the day. Mama Monet lets Riddle dry the dishes while Ace and Deuce set up their sleeping arrangements with Soni supervising them.

I feel like Riddle at this point would just think about his words and the things that he said in the fic, which make him guilty. Mama Monet would catch that reaction and tell him that it was okay to tell adults about troubles. When Riddle tells her of his past behaviors, she's gentle with him and tells him that it was okay to make mistakes and that he needs to learn from them to become a better person. I just want Riddle to get the mom figure that he deserves okay lemme dream-

In the end, Soni gets time alone with her mom for the first time in forever and finally relaxes in her comfort. Just getting the hugs that Soni's missed and just utter softness-

The next day, the door to their condo is knocked on and Mama Monet goes to answer it.

Crowley: "Miss Monet! I've been calling your cellphone for a while now! Huh?"

Mama Monet has no idea how to deal with the random man that's wearing the bird mask, but she's polite: "Sir, who are you?"

Crowley: "Miss Monet, please stop joking around-"

Soni comes into the room and is like, "Oi, don't harass my mother."

Cue confused birdman noises.

Mama Monet makes a simple breakfast for everyone there before she's stopped by Soni who says she'll be eating at the hotel for breakfast and that Mama Monet shouldn't cook for the birdman at the door.

Cue offended birdman noises.

Even with that, Mama Monet gets to cooking a nice breakfast for them and Crowley is won over by Mama Monet's kindness. Of course, he's polite in his questions and Mama Monet mentions how she's a Preschool Teacher. Crowley, sensing that there was another responsible adult, asks Mama Monet to join them in their excursion as a chaperone, which Soni immediately declines because her mom was off for that day and like hell Soni is going to put her through the same BS Soni goes through.

Mama Monet is rather curious about the school that Soni is going to, which makes her take a day off to have some fun with her daughter. Soni makes all sorts of plans because she just knows that it'll be crazy today. She just knows it.

When Mama Monet is introduced as a guide, Soni looks like she's ascending into the sky and just hoping for someone to take pity on her. Amazingly, Mama Monet takes to dealing with the NRC Crew with ease because there isn't much of a difference in terms of handling Preschoolers and these magic-wielding teens.

The second day is them looking around the city and they talk about certain things, but the most predominant one are the Pokemon Performances or Contests. Luckily, there are some that are going on at the moment and they're treated to a show with the guards being told to keep Soni's group anonymous. Vil and Crewel are fascinated by the Contest/Performance while the Savanaclaw Crew, Epel, Ace, and Deuce are more focused on the battles. Depending on the contest type, that's a toss-up.

Crewel and Vil seethe at the fact that men can't join the Performances though.

Meanwhile, Mama Monet is enjoying her time with the others. Some of the people who enjoy her presence include Riddle, who gives her some sweets to take home, Rook who finds her very charming and homely, and Floyd loves Mama Monet because she knows how to handle the chaotic eel twin.

As the others get into all sorts of side missions within the city (basically a scavenger hunt to find stores), Crowley, and Crewel talk to Mama Monet about their time in the region so far. Mostly it's adults having the time to relax with the students handling themselves (for the most part).

Malleus was happy to find some ice cream shops and was in total bliss over it. Deuce was handling Happiny with the cooing from other people that were infatuated with the little bun. Kalim was busy petting the random Skiddo in the streets and was super happy when they were receptive to his pets.

Whoever put Soni, Azul, and Jamil on the same team needs to understand that they are willing to cause the apocalypse. Soni has to stop Azul from outright stealing the recipes from other cafes as he's sampling the famous cafes that they were assigned to visit. Jamil is watching this go down and is wondering if he could take some home to his sister, knowing that she'd complain about it. Grim is eating treats for Pokemon and he can't really talk in public, but he's just having a fun time.

The third day comes and it's a free day before they go back to Twisted Wonderland. They spend it shopping around the city and everyone carries bags of the stuff they want to bring back. Vil and Crewel made anyone who was able to carry their bags. Although, everyone got some new clothing items from the shops and the prices in some shops were just extremely expensive.

When the others went to the Pokeball Factory, they were amazed by the whole place, considering that it was tucked away in a somewhat remote area. Idia and Ortho were intrigued by the Pokeballs that were being made, but for the demonstration of that visit, they were all going to make the earlier forms of Pokeballs with Apricorns and Tumblestones as a fun activity.

Everyone's mostly satisfied with their chosen Apricorn and they are kept with them. Granted, they can be used as Pokeballs, but like normal ones today, Pokemon can break out of them.

When they arrive in Laverre City, Valerie treats Soni and co. to a whole fashion show. Vil and Crewel take to Valerie's insights and fashion like a kindred spirit. Just like the Fairy Gala Event, everyone's put through the wringer and brought to match their dorms aesthetics to the max. I'll leave that up to interpretation!

Soni is subjected to all their of their opinions and even Mama Monet gets to be dressed up. It's very hard for Soni to be annoyed in her mom's presence when she's so happy, so Soni grits her teeth and goes through it.

When all's said and done, the short time that they spend in Kalos comes to an end. Although the others are curious and want to try their hand at battling, they do a whole tournament with Pokemon Battling with rental Pokemon from a nearby establishment.

#ask #twisted wonderland x pokemon #pokemon #kalos #soni monet #pokemon trainer oc #ace trappola #deuce spade #happiny #riddle rosehearts #dire crowley #divus crewel #idia shroud #ortho shroud #vil schoenheit #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #kalim al asim #kirako monet #malleus draconia #valerie #twisted wonderland grim #grim

[capricornsicle]

@ White People: Shut Up About Native Americans

This is a more serious one. Recently, while talking to some friends in the "Scott McCall Defense Squad", as we are affectionately named, @princeescaluswords noted that he'd received an anonymous ask with the usual Scott slander and racist hate, "Scott is written as white" (wtf do u even mean. cracker ass nonsense), etc., but it also included some troubling lines -- namely, that the anon sincerely believed since Colton Haynes and Tyler Hoechlin have "Native ancestry", that they are more so people of color than Tyler Posey, and the same is true of their respective characters, ideas I will thoroughly disprove.

So, setting aside the blatant racism against Scott, because this post will focus specifically on Native representation and Native identity (and because all of the Scott fans have already made numerous, numerous posts about why Posey shouldn't have to defend being a poc when he is. just a poc. are you blind), let's address the incredibly wrong, racist, and did I mention wrong idea that "Colton Haynes and Tyler Hoechlin are Native American".

A quick google search revealed that Haynes had a great-great-great grandmother that was part of the Cherokee nation, and ancestors up to his great-grandmother on his paternal grandfather's side. The ancestry for his other three grandparents says that they all identified as white.

Now, this is where I say my usual bit: if you're white, and you're reading this post, follow along and keep your opinions to yourself. I am Native (Cree/Narragansett). Not only do I claim heritage to my tribe (I am a member of the Cree nation, as dual Native citizenship isn't typically a thing, despite what Becky from fifth grade who's 1/64th everything might tell you), I am claimed in return. That's how "being Native American" works. You have membership to a tribe. That tribe acknowledges your membership. Ancestry means very little, it is in fact one's connection to their tribe that makes them Native or not.

So, back to the topic at hand. Haynes has Cherokee ancestry. He is not Native American. He is white.

Here's an example. I have Mexican ancestry, but I'm sure as hell not Mexican! I don't speak Spanish or live in Mexico or practice Mexican traditions, none of my immediate family or first generation removed spoke Spanish or lived in Mexico or practiced Mexican traditions, it's through a couple of various great-grandparents that I never met. If I were to claim I was Latino, that would be disingenuous, because I am, in no way other than speaking choppy high school Spanish, connected to my Latino roots. Haynes is, similarly, not connected to his distant Cherokee ancestry, and would have no business calling himself Cherokee. It's a good thing he, unlike the anon, doesn't do that.

Another example. I am brown. That's the color of my skin. Maybelline says I'm somewhere between "warm sand" and "honey". I know fellow Natives in my own tribe who are white as they come, blonde, red-haired, light-eyed, you name it. Some of my close friends joke that I am the Wheat Thin among the crackers. It's funny, because we're all grown enough to make jokes about our own race in good taste, and it's true. I also know Natives that are Black, or actually Indian. I know Natives who have to say "I'm Native" because when they say "I'm Indian" people assume they mean from India. Natives come in all different colors, and "Native" is an ethnicity, not a race. You're a person of color for being Native and visibly native, but there are people who are Native and not people of color. It depends on the person. Haynes is white. I know this through the power of looking at him with my eyeballs.

Okay, so Haynes isn't Native, and he's not a person of color. Quick google search for Hoechlin --

Well, that's interesting. Hoechlin in 2012 on Twitter claimed he had Native ancestry. However, he also said he was "still researching" this claim, and since we know he's not part of any Native tribe and none of his known ancestors are, let's assume that's one of those "your xyz relative was abc kind of Native" stories he was told by a relative, and he genuinely did not know it was untrue, or that his research led him down a wrong path and he didn't know he may have found another person by the same name or some such. The other possible explanation is that, like many white celebrities, he's claiming Native ancestry to be cool, but let's assume that he meant that tweet in good faith.

Either way, he's not Native, and he's sure as hell not a person of color. Great cheekbones, but God-given, not Native-given.

So neither Colton Haynes nor Tyler Hoechlin are Native American or people of color. What now?

Well, now we talk about why I care enough to make a post about it. First of all, because I have other things that I don't want to do, and I'm pissed about the ask Escalus mentioned specifically, but also because there is such a long, tiresome, agonizingly brushed-under-the-rug history of cruelty, violence, and genocide against Native Americans.

Did you know that Native women are the most likely ethnicity of woman to be r*ped, by a significant statistic? Did you know that Native women make the least on a white man's dollar compared to every other ethnicity, male and female? Did you know that the US government and its subsidiary state and county and lower governments are actively encroaching on established Native territory to push us out, again and again? Did you learn about the Trail of Tears in school? That was just for the Cherokee tribe. Most of the rest of us didn't get a chapter in the history textbook, we were just slaughtered, our women stolen as property (see: sex slaves) for white men, our children and elders viciously murdered, our men tortured and killed. Our crops were burned, our lands were destroyed, and we were either kidnapped and enslaved (not, of course, that more than two academic books have been published on Native slavery, and I'd know because I read them both), killed off, or forced to relocate, again and again, to lands we did not know.

Being Native is nothing like Pocahontas. In fact, Pocahontas was nothing like Pocahontas. She was twelve or thirteen when her tribe was attacked by white colonizers, and not that many years older when a different colonizer kidnapped her to England. She was forcefully converted to Christianity, her name was changed to Rebecca, and she died having borne children by a man who kidnapped her from her homeland, a place she never returned to. She was not buried with her people. That's generally a big one for us.

Being Native is a blessing. I am thankful for my heritage, even though I am anything but thankful for my biological parents who gave it to me. Through researching my own bloodline, I found family I did not know I had. I found tribe elders, a community, friends I can make jokes about being Native with.

But being Native also means I have been told to "go back to my country" by white people in the United States. I have had people spit at me, call me a "filthy Mexican immigrant", I have been stopped countless times by police for doing absolutely nothing wrong, and not all of them were friendly. I was reprimanded by my principal in high school for a genealogy project where I had included the fact that my paternal great-grandmother was kidnapped by a white man, because my teacher thought it would have been "nicer" to say that she married him. I have been repeatedly accused of drinking alcohol (I do not drink for personal reasons and cannot drink for medical reasons) with no basis. I have been accused of stealing. I have been accused of every kind of troublemaking under the sun.

Claiming to be Native when you have never experienced being Native is something any reasonable person can agree is morally wrong. People have won scholarships they don't deserve for falsely claiming to be Native, they have won awards, they have gotten more attention, they have been hailed as a spokesperson on race issues they are not actually eligible to speak on. The list goes on. False claims of Native heritage run rampant among white celebrities, I guess because they want to be more popular. I like being Native, but I don't think white people actually want to be non-white. It's not as fun and cool as you think it is. People are racist as hell.

And when white people make up Native heritage, they discredit actual Natives who want to speak about their own experiences. You would oppose a white person claiming to be the authority on being Black -- why would you not do the same for a white person falsely claiming to be Native?

I have been told, by white people, that I'm "not Native enough". Why? Because I don't wear the "right kind of Indian clothes", nevermind the fact that I work in a profession that requires business wear and I am not, in fact, allowed to wear a warbonnet, the image that typically comes to mind when people think of Natives. White people don't get to tell Natives how Native they are, and Native enough is not a judgement call. It is a simple evaluation of fact: are you or are you not a member or have pending membership in a tribe?

And this isn't just for Natives. White people simply do not have an important opinion on races that are not their own. You can have however many opinions you want on race, especially when they relate to you, but you don't have the right to tell someone else about their race. You don't get to say that Posey's character is "written as white". Boyd isn't "written as Black", but no one's arguing that Sinqua Walls is therefore white, because that would be marginally too stupid for the usual anons to consider (though, really, anything can happen when you're that racist). You don't get to say if someone is Native or not, and you especially don't get to say that white people are people of color based on sketchy Native ancestry.

We get it, white Americans want to be important so bad it hurts. You can be important, you just don't get to be important for being Native if you're not. Sorry. Find a new hobby. Learn a foreign language. I know that my friends of color and I find it greatly amusing when white English-speakers try to speak a foreign language, because even if they're really bad at it, it's the thought that counts.

If you want to hear about Native things, ask a Native. I'm right here, and my ask box is open for anonymous and non-anon questions about anything and everything, as long as they are genuine and sent in good faith.

Bonus points: some actual Native actors (and, therefore, characters) in Teen Wolf!

1. Cody Christian (Theo Raeken). Christian is Penobscot Native on his mother's side.

2. Froylan Gutierrez (Nolan Holloway). Gutierrez is Mexican/Caxcan Indigenous on his father's side.

3. Keahu Kahuanui (Danny Mahealani). Kahuanui is a native Hawaiian.

Extra bonus: other actors (and, therefore characters) of color on Teen Wolf you might not have recognized!

1. Andrew Matarazzo (Gabe Valet). Matarazzo is Latino (Brazilian).

2. Henry Zaga (Josh Diaz). Zaga is Latino (Brazilian).

3. Kelsey Chow (Tracy Stewart). Chow is half Chinese on her father's side.

#teen wolf #teen wolf fandom problems #@ teen wolf fandom #fandom problems #fandom racism #white fandom #teen wolf racism #long post #serious post #native representation #indigenous representation #I see one cracker ass racist response in my inbox I'm going super saiyan on y'all #also kelsey chow isn't native teen wolf wiki pls change that #she might not be white but she can still lie to profit off natives ig #girl you're already chinese they like that now #also melissa ponzio is italian any native ancestry is sketch #no known native ancestors means probably not native