#but it is valid to feel that way

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bare skin, bare feelings.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #blood #Imagine coming off as homophobic to your crush so bad he weaponizes a strip tease against you. #LWJ is just having a storm of bad emotions. His tummy hurt real bad and he was just trying to be brave about it! #WWX is just trying to be a good bro and heal his friendcrush. It worked but not for the reasons he thinks it did. #LWJ's shyness is also hilarious here considering they have bathed together before. Literally nothing there he hasn't seen before. #Granted it was a few years back and before he was left to stew in his feelings. #LWJ is more focused on his pride than being responsible and reasonable (getting is wounds treated). #His arc really is about accepting that he can't be perfect. That there is importance in being honest and vulnerable. #The tragedy is that he realizes this way too late. #Pride is the worst sin because it destroys your ability to protect anything other than the smallest crown in the world. #When everyone is gone and you are left alone - was it worth it to feel safe and protected from showing your flaws? #Control over oneself is in conflict with connection to others. You cannot pick both. #Hanguang-jun appears to us as a 'perfect guy' but the truth is that he is the version of LWJ who is done with *needing* that validation. #And this time - He can properly reach out to those he wants to be close with.

[turtleblogatlast]

I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #His aptitude with subterfuge sleight of hand stealth and speed really push how being a ninja really comes naturally to him. #it’s arguable that his desperation for the spotlight and validation is an act of subterfuge against himself #note that when he’s offered a job as a mascot he’s fine being unknown #when he and splinter win the battle nexus Leo immediately says ‘they love YOU pops’ #idk I think so much about how good a ninja Leo is #and how much his persona is more an actor #Leo as a tot is shown a natural skill at katana too so hear me out- #every Leo is a natural ninja but every Leo’s route in life is directly tied to their splinter so #since rise splinter is an actor Leo too aims for it #and he brings it into his whole life - masking always because a Leo makes what they do who they are #I think that Leo naturally falls more in line with that of a typical ninja #his eccentric performer self is his subterfuge skill just set to an 11 at all times #not that that’s NOT him - like I said it’s still undoubtedly a part of Leo #but? idk I think about little moments like Leo being the only one to choose stealth in bug busters #or Leo being the only one to almost get Gus’s dog tags in The Ninja Art of Hide and Seek (he was so close but luck was against him alas) #like- he’s clearly in his element there and he falls into those skills so easily #it’s like how everyone has skills in so many things but some exceed more in some than others do #like Raph? Raph’s the biggest Hero of the bunch of them let’s be perfectly real here. Raph is THE Hero #All the boys are smart in their own rights but Donnie is THE Genius. #and they all have mystic powers but Mikey is THE Mystic Warrior with immense untapped potential #likewise Leo I feel is THE Ninja #but yeah I love how much Leo goes for the spotlight anyway for better or for worse #he IS a performer again make no mistake! but again the way he does it still lines up with his natural ninja aptitude and I love it #Leo loving magic tricks and magicians so much works doubly well here because like #you’d think he’s focused solely on the performance flair - no it’s ALSO and ESPECIALLY the DECEPTION

[saltpepperbeard]

Ed and Stede Ep1-3 + Pet Names

#OFMD #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 Spoilers #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #Rhys Darby #Taika Waititi #ofmd gifs #ofmdblog #ofmdsource #ofmdedit #ofmddaily #Edit #Who would I be if I didn't make a set of this PFFFF #LIKE OBVIOUSLY #ALSO THE WAY HSDJKSDKLS #THE WAY ED USING BABE MADE ME LAUNCH MYSELF INTO THE SUN #FEELING SO SO VALIDATED FOR THAT ONE

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

Am I the only one who actually prefers the Araj confession from Astarion? I see so many people wax poetic about the “nice, simple plan” scene and how much better it is that I want to wax poetic a little about my favourite.

The first time I played BG3, I didn’t know anything about Astarion’s background and I thought he was a jerk. When I first ran into Araj at Moonrise, I was surprised that he wasn’t interested in biting her, but he gave his reasons and I was like, damn, okay, that sucks but I’m not gonna force him to do anything. He said no, so it’s a no. Then I moved on, and genuinely thought nothing of it.

When he hit me with the Araj confession at camp, when he explained how he felt in front of her and how easy it would have been to just grin and bear it and do as he was told, I started crying. Sometimes I struggle to even put into words the emotions it brought up — not the smallest of which was the realisation that I had had more respect for this video game character that I didn’t even like at the time than a lot of people had ever had for me, a real fucking human being.

So I love absolutely everything about that scene, from the writing to the performance to all the different ways it can play out. I know the other confession is more cute and sweet and romantic, but the Araj one held up a mirror to me and genuinely made me confront myself and change how I approach intimacy. Which is kind of an embarrassing thing to say about a video game romance scene but here I am saying it.

Because if this fucking rude ass pixel boy (affectionate) can learn to be honest about his needs and limits and have them respected, then so can I, goddamnit. And that will always be so much more profound to me than a nice, simple plan that fell apart.

#maybe I just prefer ugly crying to the cute scene idk #I’ve talked about this before but it just hits me in waves sometimes #the way this game has made me feel so seen and valid for trauma I had written off as character development is wild #it’s so much cheaper than therapy but I probably need to go back to therapy lolol #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #tw: sa

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[coffeebanana]

The way the finale went down isn’t the ending a lot of people wanted—I get that, and I sympathize. But I really do believe that’s in part because it isn’t an ending.

And, frankly, I love the way this season finale went purely for selfish reasons.

The thing is, I honestly think that from a fandom POV, that’s so much better than having everything go the way we wanted or expected. I’m already so inspired to create things—to patch holes of things I didn’t get to see or hypothesize on how things will turn out. There’s debate on what the wish really means that I KNOW is going to manifest in some creative af world building in future fics I’ll get to read.

I know some people are contemplating leaving the fandom after this, but that was going to happen regardless of how the season went down. And I hope that some of those people still find a way to enjoy what the show has given them. I hope people realize it’s never too late to play with whatever ideas they may have.

I think this “ending” is unsettling on purpose. And I think so many cool things are going to be created because of that set-up.

I’m super duper excited okay?

#I do think because I had a few things spoiled for me it made the episode easier for me to digest personally #and I kind of had no expectations going in so I just really enjoyed it! #and yes there are aspects I didn’t love but I’m going to make an effort to spread positivity instead of pointing those out #I just love this silly little show and that’s gonna be true even if I disagree with the way some things go #but I do understand other ppl might not feel the same way and that’s valid! everyone is valid! #i just selfishly hope I get to see that manifest in fics hehe #miraculous ladybug #ml conformation #conformation spoilers #ml recreation #recreation spoilers #ml s5 #ml spoilers

[to-be-a-dreamer]

No, because I've already talked about this to the Discord besties but I'm still vibrating over the fact that Percy didn't just sacrifice himself for Annabeth, he outsmarted her. He tricked her into letting him be the one to stay behind that's such an amazing detail

#the way the show and specifically walker portrays percy's incredible social and emotional intelligence #i love it so so much #he immediately knows what happened between annabeth and echidna #he knows the right thing to say to cheer her up when she feels bad about snapping at grover #he understands and validates her relationship with athena even though he doesn't 100% GET IT get it #he is so so smart and i love how they're showing that in both dialogue and walker's acting choices #you can SEE the gears turning in his head whenever stuff starts happening #10/10 but also that cliffhanger was inhumane #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson disney+ #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #walker scobell #percy jackson episode 4 #percy jackson spoilers

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

happy mother's day lmfao

bonus (the girls are fightiiing):

#and thus eddie caused a category 5 neighborhood disaster bc he tried to flirt via sandwich questions #which is a totally valid way to flirt. Totally. #what's more romantic than being able to bring people their favorite sandwiches without having to ask #idk im not a romantic. almost wrote tomantic. i dont like tomatoes either #welcome home #scribble salad #welcome home fanart #welcome home puppet show #in all honesty during last night's festive breakdown i had the doodled Thought above #and scribbled it in my phone notes #it feels good to not only have an Idea but to also Get It Out #yaknow? i dont get that often #brain usually has half a thought then fizzles out and decides to go lay down for a full week #also here's a niche concept that is incredibly funny to me: #a neighbor swearing and wally immediately being like NO!!! THE RATINGS!!!! #he has to snipe them before they can get the full word out. how sad :'{ #alsoX2 special thanks to these doodles for keeping me awake #i had decided not to sleep when i drew this and i can't fall asleep before ten otherwise ill wake up 4 hours later wide awake #with no hope of getting back to sleep #and another s/o to barnaby for being incredibly pleasant to draw. he does not fight me like the others do

[queenjulia11]

Spoilers for the end of ep 4 of Burrow’s End!!

Look at Thorn Vale’s face when he finally arrives at Last Bast. Look at how happy he is. He’s not just happy, he’s elated. I’ve been thinking a lot about what Jasper chose to say after hearing the story of these new stoats.

“They did it, Sweetie. They did it.”

Thorn’s whole life has been defined by a nightmare. Something incomprehensible that a select few friends understand — but only because they were there, too. The rest of his family understands that he went through something traumatic, but they all also kinda know that there’s no way they can get on the same page about it. All they can really say is “yeah, that sounds awful,” or “it’s okay, you’re safe now.” And those words don’t mean nothing, but they don’t do enough to truly describe the terror Thorn went through.

But these guys? They’ve seen the monsters, too. And they aren’t afraid of them.

For the first time in Thorn’s life, the monsters have names. And we know how big a deal names are for Thorn Vale — who wasn’t even given one when he was born. Names make you knowable. You’re not just this amorphous *thing* floating in space that no one knows how to talk about anymore. The name “Human” is something Thorn has over them now. He’s reclaimed a bit of power from the things that makes him feel the most powerless.

The humans aren’t just something to fear now, they can be defeated. It is finally possible to not only overcome the worst thing that’s ever happened to him, but to make sure his children never have to face it. Even think about it.

And the best part? He doesn’t have to lead anymore. He can rely on others — if someone dies or gets hurt, it’s not his fault. We saw how he broke in episode three, that pressure would’ve killed the poor guy if he had kept it on his shoulders. He can finally take some of the weight off. He doesn’t have to do this alone.

Look at that pure relief on his face.

This is light. This is hope. This is power. This is how it feels to be understood. And now he can share it with the people who matter the most to him.

“They did it, Sweetie. They did it.”

#burrow’s end spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #thorn vale #jasper william cartwright #stupendous stoats #obviously he never *had* to do it alone #but as a leader it sure did feel that way #also obviously this is not gonna last #and oh boy it’s gonna break my heart when it goes wrong #jasper’s comment on adventuring party was also huge #he was doing the right thing the whole time #and got that validated #oh thorn #burrow’s end

[egophiliac]

the new rider for ride kamens is agata, and he's based on hibiki, which, while makes sense 'cuz araki is based on momotaros and therefore oni, is kinda boring after the reveal of our lord and savior dan kuroto

don't be mean to Agata, he's the only reason the other two can survive with half a braincell between them :(

#art #ride kamens #disclaimer that this is all pre-canon so i have no idea if this will track at all once the game actually comes out #but i feel this in my bones #HIBIKI THOUGH! he looks great!!!! #hibiki was my guess for him! i'm so validated right now #between him and w my track record is now...two out of ten #...i'll take it! #man. i love justice ride a lot already but mad guys is swiftly capturing my heart #justice ride are all idiots in a certain way but mad guys are all idiots in a CERTAIN way #i can't explain it you just have to trust me on this

[ali3nboyfriend]

i see a lot of talk of fellow adhd and autistic folk feeling like they’re too much for other people but i don’t see a lot of talk about feeling like you’re not enough. low energy adhd and autism where it takes a lot of effort to use words so your way of showing affection is to sit there and vibe in people’s presence but it comes off like you’re not paying attention or it’s not “active” enough to count, or forgetting to reply to DMs (or like i said, Words Hard), and it again comes off as you not caring or ignoring people. it’s really hard to be putting in so much effort to maintain friendships you value only for that effort to not be seen, or to be read as apathy, or for it to be seen but still not be what other people want. even worse when you try and talk more and be more active in a relationship but you end up burning yourself out because you don’t have enough energy to maintain it.

#starscream.txt #i struggle a lot with feeling like i’m not Enough of a presence for people #i like to just. listen to people. but i’ve had several people stop talking to me because me just listening comes off as me not caring #or finding them annoying #which it isn’t #and it fucking sucks. idk #i understand RSD and the need for validation so i don’t begrudge anyone that #i just wish i could be met on my field sometimes. i wish my natural behaviors didn’t read like apathy #or annoyance #i wish people could see my ways of showing affection for what they are #vent i guess

[thranduel]

some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭 #also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because -> #in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: death mention / family death mention / ]

Mhmm I sure love thinking of the reality where we did get more time to really know Karai and her dynamics with the bros. Losing her hit hard in the finale, but it would’ve hit much, much harder had we known Karai longer and really saw her relationships develop with everyone.

I especially would have been interested in her dynamic with Leo, as past iterations often have the two of them clash in ideals and the like while still sharing many characteristics. Two sides of the same coin, and all that. Her specifically being the bros’ Gram-Gram also adds a whole new dynamic as well.

Imagine how interesting it would be, to have Karai start off on Leo’s side for once, showing wholly just how alike the two are at their cores and bonding as family without the worry of betrayal or animosity that other iterations suffer through, only to have Karai die anyway. Their parting hug and the desperate look of horror Leo wears later on would have hit that much harder, I feel.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise karai #rise leo #rottmnt karai #rottmnt leo #I think a lot about these two in particular #and how that dynamic could have flourished #the way it was depicted in the finale is so purposefully unique and painful like #that hug man #can you imagine how much more heartbreaking that would have been if we knew her longer #not that it wasn’t already sad but we just simply didn’t know her long enough to be completely attached #also imo having more episodes with her and in general would have presented something I’ve been thinking about since the finale #so like - I like to think each bro kinda immediately leans more toward certain family members #Mikey has Draxum #Donnie has April #Raph has Splinter because this is another one that would be SO GOOD and make the finale moment where Raph sees his memories hit harder #if they had an ep or two more of Splinter and Raph together bc I really do feel like Raph respects Splinter most of the four #and finally- Leo has Karai #and then he loses her #imo? this would align with the movie even more #because it was the act of heroism that kinda killed her in a way - makes sense that Leo would initially be leaning away from that #and yet he ends up exactly like her anyway #haha sorry for rambling I just really love the interesting dynamic these two tend to have #and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see it really explored in rise #but yeah make no mistake while I’m focusing on Leo here I wanted more for all the boys and karai #Mikey’s little moments with her were so sweet and we already know how much he yearns for more family #Karai being from an age long gone would mean she’d be super impressed by literally any invention Donnie has (adult validation!!) #and could you imagine her training with Raph - with this training being referenced in the finale?

[llyfrenfys]

See, I personally find this quest to find pagan/pre-Christian elements in Welsh/Irish literature quite unnerving - I don't know about anyone else.

There's something to be said about genuinely discovering pre-Christian elements in a narrative or story and that being where evidence and study has led you. But I see some people on this fruitless quest to find pagan elements in very Christian texts and sometimes it feels like if no pagan elements can be found, people start making stuff up out of whole cloth - and that can be very dangerous for already not-well known texts in minoritised languages!

There's already so much misinformation out there about Irish/Welsh texts and literature in general - so it hurts to see people carelessly adding to the misinformation either out of ignorance or lack of respect for the source material.

I promise you the source material being Christian doesn't ruin it - you can in fact, enjoy these myths without making them into something they're not!

#I feel like general ire towards (particularly) colonial Christianity has informed how people think of and view anything that is associated #with Christianity - and ire towards some of the ills committed in the name of Christianity is very valid actually #but what it isn't is approaching any text written in a Christian context and immediately disregarding it for having anything unique or #insightful to say. And in a Celtic languages context #this can be especially othering and almost fetishistic of an imagined pagan Ireland and Wales which was 'covered up' by Christianity #and that desire for people outside of Ireland and Wales to impose a kind of 'pagan faerie culture' onto the modern countries directly feeds #into false depictions of Ireland and Wales as 'lost in time' or as magical places full of latent pagan culture &c. which can be really #damaging in its own way against people who live in Wales or Ireland or who speak Welsh or Irish #this goes for other Celtic speaking nations too like Scotland Brittany Isle of Man and Cornwall #But Wales and Ireland tend to be the most focused on for this kind of treatment #luke's originals #Welsh #Wales #Cymblr #Irish #Ireland #welsh mythology #irish mythology #irish literature #welsh literature #Arthurian legends #arthurian literature