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mvltisstuff · 9 months

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going, going, gone - c.f

summary: y/n’s the only person who can get conrad, and he realizes that maybe he’s been falling for the wrong conklin.

conrad fisher x conklin!reader

gif from @conradfiisher

a/n: this will likely have a part two, so it probably won’t end here!! no promises as to when pt 2 is out but it will be there eventually ;)) this is literally me wishing i could slap some sense into belly

part two

“hey,” y/n greets, stepping into the beach house and finding conrad unpacking.

“hi,” he smiles lightly. the past few months have been nearly impossible. trying to crack conrad open is like trying to break into a safe. it took y/n forever to be able to understand conrad, and now that she finally did, there was an undeniable spark. she could sense the tension in his mind, knowing that something had set him off. he looked like he just wanted to break down, but he didn’t want to. if he did, he doesn’t know how to put himself back together.

“you ok?” she asks, cautiously. he’s almost like a wild animal, get too close and he runs away. especially since susannah died, he hasn’t been able to find a connection like the one he had with his mother.

“fine,” he mumbles, folding a few blankets onto the couch and placing some pillows beside it.

“conrad, don’t play this game with me again,” y/n sighs, stepping closer to him. he pauses in his movements to look up at her, slapping one last piece of decor on the mantle. “can we at least talk about the exam?”

“i, um,” he stutters, unable to find the right words that have disappeared in his mind. it’s like he completely pushed out the exam, all the other events had forcefully taken the excitement from it. “i feel really good about it, but it’s just an exam.”

y/n can tell in his slumped stance that something is truly disturbing him. he looks broken, and whoever did it certainly failed to put the pieces back together. it appears that they didn’t even try. “talk to me, conrad. please?”

he stops, breaking eye contact. he can’t look at her while he tells her because she can’t see his face when he says it. he doesn’t want y/n to see him crack under the pressure again.

“jeremiah and belly were making out on my car when i came out of testing. i walked out and there they were.”

“what?” y/n spits out, thinking about everything belly had told her before. “i thought she said she moved on-“

“yeah, i did, too,” his voice breaks, still avoiding any looks to y/n. if y/n sees him falling apart over belly, y/n would probably say something. the last thing conrad wants is for belly to know the affect this had on him.

“conrad, you know you can talk to me, right?” she steps closer, wanting to reach out her hand to him but knowing he probably doesn’t want it. he wants belly’s. “anything you say to me won’t get back to her.”

he slightly turns, finally letting his eyes wander up y/n’s body until they meet hers. he’s always found a trust in y/n. she’s been there since they were little kids, but it’s always felt different. there was an innocence to her, she felt like home and he could always run back to her if he needed her. he wouldn’t be able to handle it if he ruined that.

“i’m just so tired, y/n. it’s just one step forward and two steps back. i thought we could finally be over this, but they both just stabbed me in the back. on my car, during my test, in my hoodie. my mom always said belly was destined for me, but it just feels like jere took that.”

y/n can feel the hurt as well as see it on conrad’s face. she’s able to read him so well now that he’s not afraid to open up. she feels like they’ve gotten through a door, a point where they can share secrets and find a safety net in the other. “belly doesn’t deserve you, conrad. she’s not as mature as you, and you can thrive without her, i swear.”

“i’ll be ok, i just need a break from all this shit,” he groans, allowing y/n to finally walk up to him and hold his hand. “i don’t know if we can go back to the way things were after this.”

“i know i can’t change what happened, but i need you to understand that you’re not alone. at this point, you come first to me.” he nods, and y/n can see the sunrise in his face a bit more, but his mind is still covered with darkness. “if you need anything, please call me or come see me, ok?”

“deal,” he cracks a little grin, making y/n smile a bit in return.

“take care of yourself, connie,” she says before opening the front door. she starts the long drive home knowing what’s waiting for her there.

she plants her stuff down on the counter, letting her body relax after the hours behind the wheel. she starts to clean up some of the mess that she left on the counter when she hears squeaky footsteps come down the stairs.

“hey, you’re back already?” belly says, lurking into the kitchen to lean against the frame. y/n doesn’t say anything, she just looks at her and continues to organize everything. “what’s wrong, why do you look like that?”

“honestly, belly, i’m just trying to figure out what to say to you.”

“what do you mean?” belly asks, trying to think about why her older sister could have a reason to be mad at her.

“i stopped at cousins on the way home,” y/n informs her, belly knowing exactly where she left conrad.

“y/n, you can’t be pissed off because of what he told you-“

“no, belly, i have every right to be pissed. i’m pissed for conrad. you left him in the dust and you have no shame about it.”

“it just happened, jeremiah and i. i never wanted to hurt conrad, but im in love!”

“yeah, you were also in love last week with conrad. and the week before with jeremiah. you need to move on from them, bell,” y/n sighs, allowing belly some time to build another response.

“who are you to even say that?”

“because i’ve been there for both of them! i was there for jeremiah when you wanted conrad. i’m there for conrad because you are playing with their hearts like they’re toys. i can tell your hearts not fully in it with jeremiah, but i’m not gonna let you destroy those boys even more.”

“how am i destroying them?”

“belly, wipe that innocence off your face. you’ve managed to rip apart the fisher brothers because you cannot pick which one you like more.”

“but-“

“no, belly! listen to me,” y/n cuts her off before she can try and make anything better. “you couldn’t even contain yourself at susannah’s funeral because you were too worried about conrad. i know we are all grieving, but you are acting like you’re more worried about which brother likes you more. it’s exhausting having to clean up the mess you make over and over again. you’re slowly ruining this bond for me, for steven, for mom! you know i love you more than words, but if you keep playing with their feelings, belly, this family is going to be destroyed.”

“y/n, susannah told me-“

“use susannah as an excuse one more fucking time, belly.” the room goes deadly silent, y/n sick of the excuses and victimized mentality of belly. when steven comes stepping quietly into the room, he ganders softly into the chaotic mess that has formed between his sisters. she swipes her keys back off the table, grabbing an extra bag out of the closet. “i’ll be back.”

“where are you going?” belly says, eyes full of tears from her fear of confrontation. her voice was shaky, and y/n could still feel a sting of guilt in her chest. she hated to build a bigger wall between everyone, but belly had to hear it.

“i’m going to look after conrad, because you failed to do it,” y/n ends their conversation, slamming the front door behind her and moving to the car. she left the house with a terrible tone, but someone else needed her more. belly had jeremiah, taylor, steven, laurel, anyone she wanted. conrad had y/n, and that became enough for him.

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greengableslover · 2 months

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PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (1995) | Episode 4

#pride and prejudice #perioddramaedit #papedit #prideandprejudiceedit #austenedit #tvedit #perioddramasource #userbennet #tuserbea #tusereliza #userpavlova #pride and prejudice 1995 #elizabeth bennet #jane bennet #jennifer ehle #susannah harker #*p&p1995 #*

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balkanparamo · 1 year

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Susannah Martin, Frosch

#art #painting #susannah martin #frog #frosch #animals in art

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ybon-paramoux · 4 months

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Susannah Martin, Frosch

#art #painting #susannah martin #frosch #frog #animals in art

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kierreras · 9 months

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belly, you're my best friend, i know you.

#aka taylor being always there for belly #belly x taylor #tsitp #tsitpedit #the summer i turned pretty #belly conklin #taylor jewel #bellyconklinedit #taylorjeweledit #also can i complain that jenny could have made them the next laurel x susannah but the plot is way to focused on the love triangle stuff #mariestuff

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justineportraits · 9 months

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Susannah Martin If we run 2013

#susannah martin

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didanagy · 10 months

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PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (1995)

#pride and prejudice #pride and prejudice 1995 #miniseries #period drama #jane austen #colin firth #jennifer ehle #barbara leigh-hunt #alison steadman #crispin bonham-carter #anna chancellor #susannah harker #benjamin whitrow #julia sawalha #david bamber #emilia fox

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shesnake · 1 year

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The Killing of Sister George (1968) dir. Robert Aldrich

#filmtag #lgbtcinema #the killing of sister george #robert aldrich #beryl reid #susannah york #film #fm #*#q #subtitles #w #dsg #probably one of my favourite first watches of last year #1k

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haveyouseenthisseries-poll · 1 month

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#tv shows #tv series #polls #pride and prejudice #colin firth #jennifer ehle #susannah harker #1990s series #british series #have you seen this series poll

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ashesandhalefire · 10 months

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My dad always loved Conrad better, but I had my mom. She was the only person who ever really saw me.

#the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #tsitpedit #jeremiah fisher #susannah fisher #*#*tsitp #this VO quote is so evil fuck mr. fisher for real

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humblequestvinyl · 1 month

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i'm not pretty

I’M NOT PRETTY, CONRAD FISHER X FEM!READER

APART OF THE ‘ANOTHER ON THE WAY’ SERIES

SUMMARY: while dating one of the hottest boys on cousin’s beach, and an accidental like on an old instagram post, singer y/n l/n realizes exactly what her relationship with the entails, and past girls she might have pissed off.

inspired by i’m not pretty by megan moroney

◀ ⏸ ▶

lowercase is intentional! wc: 0.7k

warnings: reader is blonde today (i promise this will make sense), belly being kinda a bitch!! (peace and love), use of nickname/relationship nicknames (babe)

a/n: guys this is not my best work but thats what i get for not writing since november

“UM, HEY CONRAD?”

y/n called out as she sat in the kitchen of the susannah fisher’s beach house, and the boy turned the corner, giving the girl he loved a wide smile.

“what’s up sunshine?”he questioned, resting his head on the shoulder of the blonde, and he could see instagram open on the girl’s phone, “who’s this?”

y/n pulled up a profile, with her face filled with confusion, and she heard conrad groan as soon as he saw it, “is it someone bad?”

“my ex girlfriend.”conrad told her, and the girls lips shaped into an ‘oh’, before tilting her head slightly.

“but i thought you and nicole were just a fling?”she questioned before conrad went back and tapped on the profile once more, “sunshine that isn’t nicole.”

“that’s belly.”

isabel conklin. the girl that had always loved conrad, and could never move past the breakup between the two. even now when she was interested in his brother, and conrad was dating y/n, the girl couldn’t move past the boy that should have been hers.

“yeah, that explains a bit of it.”y/n shifted back in her seat as conrad walked across the island, and raised an eyebrow at her, “what! you and i both know she wasn’t exactly nice to me the last time i was here while she was.”

y/n was right, belly wasn’t nice to her the last time the two were both at the beach house together. in the blonde’s words, the girl was a bitch. but she tried to be as nice as she could for conrad’s sake, knowing how much the conklins meant to his family.

“did she comment anything?”conrad questioned, and y/n shook her head no, “maybe she heard one of the songs you wrote and accidentally liked the post.”

the blonde gave the boy a look, knowing how wrong he was, “i love how naive you are.”

“i am not naive!”conrad argued as the blonde walked away, up towards the guest bedroom she had been staying in at the fisher’s beach house.

“keep telling yourself that babe!”y/n shouted before she climbed up the stairs, and into the room where her guitar sat, just screaming at her to write a song for her upcoming EP.

the girl had recently been signed to a record label, and while the inspiration had been there, the words wanting to be sung had disappeared from thin air. until now it was almost like a fire had been lit under her as soon as she got the instagram notification, all the words wanted to spill out of her.

it was almost hours before conrad finally peaked into the room, to see his girlfriend hovering over her song book, with her guitar playing and he could see himself in the background of her video.

“somewhere out there, my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend is scrolling through my instagram.”she sang, and a small smile crept up onto conrad’s face knowing this would make her ep.

“tearing me down, passing the phone around like there’s nothing better to talk about.”the blonde went on, playing what conrad would call a beautiful cord progression on her guitar, “zoomin out, zoomin in, overanalysing.”

“head queen of the mean girl’s committee.”

“but whatever helps, keep telling yourself i’m not that pretty.”she finished, before turning off her video, finally noticing conrad standing in the doorway.

“that’s going on the EP isn’t it?”he questioned as y/n stood up, wrapping her arms around the boy she adored.

she looked up at him with a wide smile, before nodding slightly,

“you know me so well, lover boy.”

#conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher #conrad fisher angst #jeremiah fisher x reader #susannah fisher #the summer i turned pretty #the summer i turned pretty angst #belly conklin #conrad fisher imagine #another on the way series #tsitp conrad #conrad fisher smut #conrad hawkins x reader #jeremiah fisher angst #jeremiah fisher

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mvltisstuff · 9 months

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going, going, gone pt. 2 - c.f

summary: y/n leaves to do what susannah always wanted for her boys.

conrad fisher x conklin!reader

a/n: gif is not mine, but i was so so happy to see how much everyone loved part one!! i’ve never had to tag people, but i will try and do that at the end of the story <3 this is also not following the books, that i haven’t read because i’m the worst reader 😭

y/n stood on the opposite side of susannah’s bed, visiting her in boston after she was waiting to see her girls. her connection to laurels daughters was always something susannah felt from the moment they were born. she always wanted girls of her own, but she was still blessed with her two sons.

belly was sitting on the bed, a bright blue dress as susannah looked into her eyes. laurel had gone out to run errands for her friend, so the girls had stayed with susannah.

it was clear that her condition was declining, and rapidly. her face didn’t have the usual sunshine look, and she appeared weaker than y/n and belly were ever used to. her skinny hands trailed to theirs and wrapped together. her touch went from a warm comfort to as light as a feather. somehow, through the cloudy day, the sun poked through and her angelic smile blessed the girls.

“i’ve been missing you so much,” susannah grinned, placing a hand on belly’s thigh and grabbing y/n’s hand with the other. “i’m so glad you came to see me. i needed to see you girls.”

the look on belly’s face was almost coated with uncomfortableness, her naïve self not used to seeing people in this condition. y/n didn’t want susannah to see her fall apart in her grasp, so she made herself blend with tranquility.

the time had passed where they wanted to attempt to save susannah. now, they knew it was only a matter of time until they lost her. they may not have physically lost susannah, but they lost the spark in her a long time ago.

“the boys love you, you know,” she tells belly, and then turning her head to y/n. “both of you.”

“i know,” y/n replies, seeing belly trying to find the right words.

“promise me something?” she asks, looking at belly who’s head perks up. “look after them for me.”

“you’re going to do that yourself,” belly remarks barely over a whisper, moments away from letting the dam break. y/n’s cried enough tears for susannah, but somehow they don’t seem to stop. watching her whole family experience this grief makes her feel less alone, but seeing her baby sister fall apart is near unbearable.

she watched as belly crumpled on the bed into susannah’s arms, and her once warm grasp felt lighter than ever.

ever since her death, y/n wants to look at belly the same. her actions make it so hard. she promised susannah to take care of her boys, and she failed. she let jeremiah sit around knowing he wasn’t the one she truly wanted. afterwards, she made conrad watch in heartbreak her new self with jeremiah.

that scares y/n, knowing that she’ll never truly be able to pick between them. in the long run, no matter who she “picks”, she’s hurting more people than she thinks.

she figures the best thing she can do is be there for conrad, as belly and jeremiah don’t think it’s necessary.

as she drove further and further away, the music she normally sings to turned into static. conrad would probably still be in cousins, not wanting to face his family back in boston. the traffic had quieted down, for people would be home with their families.

she pulled up the the house that had gotten it’s life back before julia took it all away. conrad and y/n were the main ones trying to save the house from being invaded by another family. even if they couldn’t, the cousins house would always have the fisher’s name on it. when y/n walked up to the front door, she slowly turned the doorknob and stepped in.

her footsteps lightly echoed due to the emptiness of the house, some of the front rooms still looking lifeless. y/n walked around, picturing everything exactly how susannah had it, all the portraits and loving decor she had around. she knew, though, that’s how conrad will set everything up.

the sun was just starting to dip down below the horizon, and when she spotted conrad sitting with his feet dipped in the pool, he looked lower than the sun ever could get.

she quietly stepped out onto the back, not saying a word until he noticed her. his head slowly tilted around, feeling her sweet eyes burning through him. he felt more relieved. she’s the only person he wants to see. she’s the one person who hasn’t ripped his heart out and used it.

“what are you doing back?” he questions, keeping his collected expression.

“i didn’t think you really wanted to be alone. you can’t fool me, conrad,” she smirks softly, moving over to sit next to him on the edge of the pool. she dips her feet into the cool water, not yet graced by the hot summer air.

“i don’t need you to be here for me, i don’t think i’m too good of company right now.”

“i think that’s exactly why you need me,” y/n says as conrad looks back to her. he’s always noticed y/n’s beauty on the outside, but he never got to really appreciate the inside. her mind was just as beautiful as her hair when the wind blows it, or the dimples on her cheeks when she’s happy. “you don’t have to do this alone, you know.”

“yeah,” he sighs, swaying his feet in the pool. “i thought jere would at least help me.”

“i talked to belly,” y/n tells him, seeing him quickly freeze and lean his head back.

“it’s not a big deal, y/n, really,” conrad says.

“it is to me. i never thought of her like this, but i don’t understand how she could do that to you.”

“it’s a me problem, clearly jeremiah’s better than i am.”

“that’s not true. belly’s young and thinks she’s innocent. she doesn’t deserve someone like you. she’ll never take the time to know you, but she’s going to jeremiah because he’s ‘easier’.” y/n replies. “you’re perfectly fine the way you are, and you never have to change for her, or me.”

“my mom always saw me with belly. i think that’s the worst part.”

“but your mom didn’t see what belly’s done to you. susannah would never want you to change in order to be with her.” y/n says, clearly to him. “susannah asked belly to be there, and she failed.”

“what do you mean?”

“when belly and i went to visit, she asked us to take care of you and jeremiah. belly barely looked after you, and i don’t even know if she’s helping jeremiah.”

“i get it, though. i left her at prom, and broke her heart.”

“was it shitty of you? yes, i’m not gonna lie to you. at this point, she’s taking it too far by playing with you and now it’s jeremiah’s turn.”

“maybe my mom was wrong,” he looks away, connecting his eyes back with the minute waves in the water. “i miss her. she was like a breath of fresh air, and i feel like i haven’t gotten that since she died.”

“she’s still here,” y/n tells him, seeing the corner of his mouth turn up a bit.

“i still feel her sometimes. if i’m home and i hear a noise, i’ll think she’s cooking, or painting. i don’t need people to see me fall apart.”

“you never have to hide, conrad. not anymore, and not from me.”

the next time he locks eyes with y/n, he can majorly see the sincerity in her face. there’s still a hint of when they were young in their eyes, memories swimming back into conrad’s head. every time she talked to him, all the time she spent with him. every party she skipped because conrad didn’t feel up to it, and she didn’t want him to be alone. he never felt nervous around y/n the way he did with her sister. they always had a complex relationship, but never once did y/n fail to be next to him. conrad let his inch closer to y/n’s, letting her hand lay on top of his, leaving solace in him. he never noticed how soft her hands were, literally and figuratively. she never once used him and glued his pieces back together. it’s then that he realizes that’s something belly never did.

impulsively, he moves his body more toward y/n, trying to get all the gladdening she can give. she’s more than happy to give it to him, letting conrad hold onto her and have her help him. the world around the boy became lighter, almost forgetting about his former despondency caused by belly. the closer he got to y/n, the more he thought that his mother had mistaken belly for the one.

he brushes a stand of y/n’s hair behind her ear, placing his hand on the side of her neck. she breathes lightly, knowing what conrad wants from her, but not knowing if he needs it.

“conrad,” she whispers, his name coming across incredibly from her lips. “you know i love you.”

“of course,” he says back, his hand trailing down her arm.

“but i won’t be a redemption because you cannot have belly. i’ve been the second choice once and i destroyed myself. i won’t do it again.”

“belly’s not who i want. i don’t think i’ve ever loved belly the way i have for you.” it all felt so sudden, the tension growing thicker between them as conrad only wanted to deepen the connection. y/n was just so horrified of hurting him more. she knows that she could help him and love him how he should, but she needs to know that he’s not just trying to get belly back.

“i think we need time, conrad. please?” she asks, and he nods, slipping his hand back down and grabbing her hand. “but trust me when i say that’s it’s not over with us.”

the meaning behind her words is stronger. in reality, she just wants to dive into conrad and accept anything he has to give, but he needs to strengthen his own heart first. he needs to know what he wants. if y/n needs time, he will wait for her.

tags: @historygeekqueen @am-i-shit-or-am-i-the-shit @celesteblack08 @parkerdayaa @shelby-x

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ist4rgirlo · 10 months

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─── 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 - 𝐜.𝐟 : 𝐈𝐈

Summary: Being Belly & Steven’s older sibling has it’s pros and cons. protecting them and taking care of them is a must, but do you really have to put their feelings first instead of your own?

Prev ; Next || Conrad Fisher x fem!reader || My blog

Warning: angst, fluff, swearing(?), smoking, conrad being a two timer. (lmk if i missed anything!)

───────────────────────────

It was the night after me and Conrad talked. We were now in the dining room, eating the food Susannah prepared for us.

“So, I want to continue on your guys’ portraits tomorrow. Are you guys free?” Susannah smiled at us.

Susannah was almost done with our portraits. She just needed to put a little bit of touches, more color to it. We’d love to stay home and let her continue it but it was almost the end of summer, we all had our own plans.

Steven looked around the table, waiting for our answer. “Well I am free tomorrow, you can continue mine” he smiled.

I smiled at Steven and started to look around the table too. “Anyone else that’s free? it’s okay if you guys are not, it’s summer, you guys are supposed to have fun not be stuck here” Susannah reached for my hand and smiled.

“I don’t think i’ll be free tomorrow” Belly said, stopping herself from smiling. Trying to cover her mouth with her hand. That smile, I knew there was something going on. I just knew it.

Susannah and Laurel looked at her, confused while Steven looked at me like asking me if I knew what was going on. I shook my head no even though I knew.

“Wow! Belly is finally going out!” Steven teased Belly. I laughed “Shut up, Steve! Don’t tease her like that” I nudged him with my elbow and looked at Belly winking at her.

Belly smiled big, “Well whether you believe it or not, I am going on a date” she bit her lip — trying to contain her giggle.

I knew it. I knew Conrad was going to ask her anytime soon. This is what I wanted right? but why am I hurting? am I sad about it? I don’t think so.

I smiled, “So who’s the lucky guy? huh?” I asked — acting like I didn’t know, I definitely knew and Susannah knew that I knew.

Susannah who was still holding my hand, started to caress my hand. I looked at her, I nodded and smiled, as a way of saying that it was okay, that I was okay.

“Well, It’s Conrad” Belly said, trying not to giggle. My mom smiled, she looked excited, “Oh really? that’s nice!” finally, what she wanted was happening.

Steven looked at me, confused — trying to comprehend what was happening. He was confused with how Belly and Conrad happened, how it started, when it started.

“What the fuck, Conrad! Really? my sister?” Steven teased. “Hey! Don’t be like that!” my mom said glaring at Steven. Of course she’d defend them, this was something that she always saw back when we were little.

“Well, what about you Y/N? are you busy tomorrow? Jere?” Susannah said looking at us with a gentle smile.

I looked at Jeremiah, he was looking at me too, “I think i’m-“

“Me and Y/N actually got something tomorrow, Mom” Jeremiah said, cutting me off — smiling at Susannah.

I looked at Jeremiah — raising my brows at him. He just smiled and shrugged.

“What?! where are you guys going now? why am I not included in whatever this is?” Steven yelled while pointing fingers at us. I laughed at him along with Jeremiah and Belly.

“Oh come on, Steven. Let your sisters have fun without you!” my mom laughed, looking at me and Belly. Steven groaned and slumped on the chair he was sitting at, “This is not fair!!”

It was funny how he always acted like he knew everything, like he was the shit but when it comes to things like this, he acts like a child. He doesn’t like it when he feels left out.

“Well I guess it’s just you and me, Steven” Susannah smiled gently. I looked at Conrad, noticing that he was already looking at me, I looked away and turned my attention to Belly.

Belly looked back at me and smiled, I smiled back. She wanted this, this was her dream, to be with Conrad. She deserves this, she deserves to be happy. She is happy and I am happy too. That’s what matters.

───────────────────────────

After the dinner, I went up to my room and changed into my swimsuit. I decided to go for a swim, since it was something that always eased my mind.

It was such a nice night to swim, not that cold and not that hot. It was just the right temperature.

I went in and swam for a while. As I returned to the surface, I saw Conrad, smoking.

“Hey, there. Didn’t know you smoked” I tilted my head, smiling a little bit. It was the first time I saw him smoke, he never smoked.

Conrad smirked, taking a drag of his cigarette before answering me. “Well it just helps me sleep well” he shrugged.

“Yeah sure, It’ll kill you too.” I rolled my eyes and swam away from him.

This was different. Conrad was acting different, this wasn’t normal. I wanted to act like I didn’t care but I did. He’s my bestfriend too, I can’t afford to lose him.

As I returned again to the surface Conrad asked me, “Are you happy?” he titled his head, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“All of a sudden?” I asked him. I ask myself the same question, am I really happy? am I putting up a front? is whatever i’m doing right?

Conrad shrugged, “Yeah? Just wanted to ask, you seemed kinda off earlier” he looked at me in my eyes, trying to read my emotions. He always said I was an easy read, but he wondered why he can’t read me now.

I remained silent for a while — I didn’t know what the answer was because even I ask myself that. “Well we’re all complete. It’s summer, no school, no problems. I guess i’m not fully happy because of what Susannah’s going through right now but we’re all together so somehow I am happy.” I smiled gently, Conrad smiled back.

“Well I am glad you are happy because me too. I feel the same way” Conrad said, smiling at me — taking another drag of his cigarette. Looking at me while he blew the smoke out of his mouth.

I can see that he was happy but there was a glint in his eyes, I knew he wasn’t fully happy, how can he be happy when Susannah’s sick? — he made it so hard not to care for him but I knew I needed to stop this feeling, I needed to do it even if it hurts me.

I looked away from him, “So… where are you taking Belly?” I asked as I swam away from him, turning my back on him, trying to change the topic.

There was silence, I guess he didn’t want this conversation. He never expected to jump into this topic. He didn’t want to talk about this with me.

“Uhm, I’ll be taking her to her favorite restaurant and probably go to the arcade too or something” Conrad shrugged throwing his cigarette away, not really sure with his answer.

I turned, “That’s nice, Belly will absolutely love it” I smiled at him. He just looked at me with his brow furrowed,that look like I was crazy — like I was someone he didn’t know — all because he couldn’t figure it out, he couldn’t read me — it was so hard for him.

It was silent again not until Jeremiah came out of the door.

“Y/N! Go inside, it’s getting cold!” Jeremiah walked towards me with a towel in his hands. I swam all the way to the end of the pool where Jeremiah was, he lend a hand out and he helped me get out of the pool.

“Thank’s Jere” I took the towel and smiled at him gently. I wiped my face and rubbed it on my head then wrapped it around my shoulder.

I look back to check if Conrad was still there but he already stood up and started to walk inside the house.

Jeremiah looked at Conrad then looked back at me, I looked back at him, his brows furrowed, “You okay, Y/N/N?” I smiled at him and nodded, “Come on, let’s get back inside” I said — Jeremiah nodded and guided me back inside the house since I didn’t have any slippers on, we went inside the house and watched a movie with the moms.

There was a lot of things that happened today, my talk with Conrad, Conrad asking Belly out, and me and Jeremiah going out which I didn’t even know that we were, I am honestly glad that Jeremiah was there to save me. As of right now, if my sister is happy then I am happy too. As I said, that’s what matters.

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