#but that doesnt have to mean anything I suppose

[mishy-mashy]

I said this in a whole reblog, but just copy-pasting to a separate post because I think it'll give some reading comprehension and reblogs don't show up in the search feature.. again, I'm reiterating what I said in another post.

Go check out @demidokuriya 's post for this; OP's post made me put this all down in like. 20 minutes. Mind went vroom vroom cuz HEY THEY'RE ONTO SOMETHING.

(They also reblogged the post with some hint to some behind the scenes of what led to the ideas if you wanna check that out)

Look below at how, when Mineta told AFO to spare Tokoyami, AFO specifically went "..."

He remembers Jirou and thinks, The braying howls of the weak...

He was going to take Tokoyami's Quirk. He took Hawks'. But after Mineta pleaded with him, AFO just straight-up left and didn't take anyone else's Quirk.

AFO saw Yoichi in Mineta.

These scenes are near-identical to each other.

Mineta and Yoichi (at that time) are both much smaller than the normal person at their age

They're both hurt, yet dragged themselves up from the ground to throw something at AFO, to get his attention and make their voice

Both are considered weak, even if they have a Quirk (Mineta's Pop-Off and Yoichi's undeveloped Factor)

The fact that Yoichi got AFO's attention here by throwing a can at him, while Mineta got his attention by throwing a Pop-Off ball; and it stuck.

Mineta's call for his attention landed and actually stuck to AFO. This is unlike when Yoichi and his can bounced off, and AFO kicked him, not listening to him; AFO listened to Mineta and left Tokoyami alone, technically doing what Mineta wanted—to not hurt this person.

AFO just went on to hurt more people away from Mineta's [Yoichi's] eyes so the small weakling wouldn't see.

Yoichi and Mineta both cried to AFO to not hurt in his ways, when AFO was intent on stealing people's Quirks

AFO even stole Hawks' Quirk during this time.

He had time to steal Hawks' Quirk, and though he could've tossed him to the side, he let Hawks stand in his way.

He had the energy. Right after this event, he flew off and left the scene. But he didn't go for Tokoyami immediately.

And this let Mineta play his part, and remind AFO of Yoichi.

"A putrid, festering Quirk Factor."

That sounds like Yoichi, AFO.

".. such garbage."

Hey hey hey, what did Yoichi throw at him when they were kids?

A discarded can. Garbage.

This chapter (385) where AFO listens to Mineta is literally called [A Youthful Urge].

Mineta told AFO to take his Pop-Off (hurt him) instead. But last time, AFO hurt Yoichi by kicking him; this time, AFO not only listened to Mineta to not hurt Tokoyami, but didn't touch Mineta at all.

Even though this time, Mineta [Yoichi] offered to take that place of suffering.

Yoichi didn't do that back then. AFO just turned on little Yoichi anyway.

Yoichi through his whole existence is literally [the braying howls of the weak]. AFO acknowledges he's weak and idealistic, yet he still loves him.

Side note about this panel, I think it's interesting that in this vision, this was the first time we saw Yoichi's eyes: when he was being defiant, despite being pushed down by someone much stronger than him.

Really characteristic of him, honestly. Yoichi's soft-spoken and frail, but it's always reiterated that Yoichi had a powerful will against his stronger big brother.

Mineta at this moment reminded him too much of Yoichi, because the two scenes are near-identical to each other. Parallels, really.

Reiterating something from OP's post that I reblogged this from;

"The reminder of his brother made him uncomfortable, so he hurried away."

AFO didn't want to hurt Yoichi again.

#i really dont mean to steal the post from op this fandoms reading comprehension just bothers me #cuz i see too many takes being that horikoshi is an IDIOT who DOESNT KNOW WHAT HES DOING and RUINED A GREAT STORY #and this should only be FEEL-GOOD- #ahahahaha NO. #horikoshi is a genius and him labeling the manga as shounen attributes to a worse-level-of-understanding from the audience #reblog #technically #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #yoichi shigaraki #minoru mineta #afo #all for one #ofa #one for all #spoilers #the reason i started posting bnha stuff was to add some of my own reading comprehension #horikoshi is really smart honestly #poor yoichi AFO saw him in mineta #minetas supposed to be likeable but hes creepy toward girls #but if mineta were tall and nothing else changed i bet some people would like him romantically #reblogs dont show unless its from someone you follow or in the fyp page and i go to the chapters of rewound afo a lot #cuz. cough. hes hot. why #hes an ugly baby and more western or greek(?)-looking as a grown man but between those ages? hes hot and looks like yoichi #im sorry im not trying to hijack anything i swear #im not very smart but i like psychoanalysis and foreshadowing #this was just my reblog adding onto what op said. check the og post for more context #i wouldnt have thought about this on my own. originally thought AFO sparing tokoyami was just for the series fans

[ganondoodle]

dont want to make two posts so im putting them both in one (totk thoughts ... uh oh i cannot shut up)

anyone else find raurus arm .. WEIRD? like, judging how the rings on the fingers are literally MADE for absorbing someones elses ability just adds to rauru and the lot of the sonau feeling .. off- what do you mean you wear a bracelet made for incorporating swears of fealty from others and gaining their abilities while they gain nothing?? and then rauru doesnt even seem to make use of that (which i guess is in line with .. the ghost copies links gets going away if the actual sage is there- SO WHATS THE POINT THEN???) though thats a bit more unclear since ..... we dont get to see ANYTHING from the last battle, all standing around with dirt tm texture on them 5 times and then they throw their weapons (weird.... use your damn ability) so zelda can use her new important time power .... once .... to make them fly backwards again and rauru does one thing :/

another thing, funny how the enigma stones are supposedly enhancing whatever powers someone already had, bc other than ganondorf none really gain anything, they act like they achieved some new power level (and suddendly know how to do it as soon as they have the stone) but then its just a silent ghost copy of themselves and they gain ... nothing but some jewelry, i find that a little .. underwhelming? and strange bc why does gan get a nuclear power upgrade and they print a bad copy of themselves and its treated like the same thing (i know its gan and he kinda deserves to get more out of it but do you know what i mean?)

cant help but also feel like its not even .. related to their own ability, like at all, istn it supped to enhance THEIR power, what does a ghost copy have to do with water magic? (wouldnt that more be sth of the shiekah/yiga .. creating copies of yourself?) if anything its something for link to gain .. i guess? or raurus arm i suppose? wouldnt it have been great if they all had a weaker version of the ability at the start and AFTER they gain the stone it gets upgraded, or its like it now is and after the they get their stone its stronger, like maybe rijus is as normal but then when she has the stone it charges faster and doesnt get canceled if she gets knocked over (assuming the way to control the ability stays the same ... which i wouldnt want bc that is so bad to control even if you change it like this) and giving link access to it is just PART of the stones power and not literally all it is

AND THEN ... you cant even argue that it doubles their fighting power bc now theres two of each bc .... the copies ... go away when the actual sage is there .......................................... so its really just a hamfisted way to give you their power ... and its not really giving you their power its giving you a copy of them which is just clunky and unnecessary, you want the theme to be connection (lol where) so you give the player soulless silent ghosts to accompany you ...? not even the real deal? (i know that would be harder to do bc they are all important ppl in their own region and turning them off would be be strange- but them having to teleport around isnt an argument bc they also do that in their dungeon- hello yuno i didnt know you can fall from the sky at will- and all that wouldnt be a problem with my next suggestion

wouldnt it be even MORE of a connection if it worked more like in botw? giving YOU a literal part of their ability, their soul even, and their abilities are now so much a part of you that you cant sever them, its integrated into your moveset, no silent ghosts to run after, your friends are part of you, ACTUAL YOU and not part of an ancient kings arm bracelet rings

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #ganondoodles rants #totk #totk critical #like really #whats more of a connection #putting a silent staring ghost of your friend into a ring of an arm that doesnt even belong to you #or getting granted a piece of your friends very soul infusing you with a part of their power #i get its suppoed to be well its raurus arm on link so its a conenction to link blah blah #but thats the only argument against that imo #and i might find a workaround for that too

[datheetjoella]

have you ever considered writing professionally? sorry if this has been asked before but I've read some of your works over the years and think you'd be pretty good at it! hope you're having a good day/ night

Ahh thank you so much! That means so much to me, you have no idea. I definitely have considered it before and it's funny you ask this now, because I actually resolved to try and write my first original novel this year. I haven't started writing yet because I'm still in the stage of developing my characters (which is the only aspect about writing an original story which I've never done before and it's daunting haha) but once I get everything figured out, I'll start writing it.

Honestly, the publishing industry is super tough so publishing a novel is a very far off dream, but you miss every shot you don't take and I have nothing to lose, so who knows what the future holds!

Thank you for your kind words and I hope you'll have a wonderful day/night too!

#asks #i'm sorry i'm stupid #writing #a lot of fic authors are getting published recently but they were all in HUGE fandoms #and their fics got thousands upon thousands of readers and alas my makoharu fics are not that big haha #but that doesnt have to mean anything I suppose #thanks again for your kind words!!

[pinkeoni]

i dont think that byler needs to have had been planned since the beginning for it to still be happening

#now truthfully do i know if byler has always been planned?? im not the duffers so i dont know. maybe #although… #i dont know #will was always supposed to be gay per the pitch book #and thats carried through in s1 #but mike was supposed to have a birthmark and joyce was supposed to be a tough long island mom #things change #el being dead in the original draft doesnt really mean anything cause well shes still here #tbh i can imagine the duffs going into s1 without byler really in mind but then later realizing that it could work #based on how it was already written #‘hey. wouldnt it be funny if we put mike and will together instead of mike and el’ #i dont think that byler or gay mike contradicts what we see in s1. i just dont know if blyer or gay mike was always on their mind #in those early stages of the show #in s2 i could see this however #like how monica and chandler werent always gonna be together #and then they end the show together #byler is still happening as hinted by everything up to this point #that wouldnt change if it were not in fact realized at conception #same thing with el likely not dying just because she was originally planned to

[wormy-worm]

ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3

#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL #meart #original character #robot oc #ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys. #ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!! #Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people.. #hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders! #shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet.. #him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk #being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol #Enho inspires her! #milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot #which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!! #he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME #its EXSAUSTING. #yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely? #hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him #he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble. #hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7 #enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol. #shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS #but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified. #enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways. #polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle. #anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS #theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol

[jinstronaut]

this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things???? #i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk ! #be nice its so easy ! #tbd

[numericalbridge]

🔥 every time darius is shown to use his abomination form he is using it in a very deliberate and calculating way, and not because he is supposedly so angry/furious

meanwhile every time he shows real strong emotions, whether positive or negative, he is not in the transformed form (though his abomination powers are clearly important to him with how he uses them for affectionate gestures, etc).

and, imo, both times he is seemingly very outwardly furious - with Raine in ER and the kids in the ASiAS - he is playing the role, possibly playing up the real annoyances (because he is more often shown to be annoyed than angry in actual canon). and compare to how he reacts to other coven heads who are his real enemies: focused fighting with Vitimir, concern over Eber AND over failing to stop the spell in KT, and disdainful and stern expression in the finale. It's concern, hurt, or pettiness, annoyance rather than explosive anger.

[added more ramblings in the tags]

#darius deamonne #toh darius #the owl house #obviously there might be situations when he would transform out of anger - like fighting belos in an au #but it would take much more than what fanon prescribes imo #and i think being very deliberately in control of the abomination form (doesn't mean always but most times) #makes a more interesting take on the abomination magic being like his second nature while also being a science or art form he perfected #and i don't think it takes anything out of the supposed parallels with belos either since it doesn't need to be one-to-one comparison #and its not like he doesnt have little outbursts sometimes - just like most characters would get angry when someone flings dirt at them #or his impatience when eda doesnt understand that he is talking about her curse - but i see it as frustration and impatience and not anger #and i agree that when he was a teenager he would have more teenager-y reactions #and the way he had to hide or redirect his emotions during the coven head time is something worth of exploring too #but i dont agree with the way certain parts of fandom flanderize his emotions into this constant outbursting fury #when it is clearly not even to explore his character but to flanderize him solely for the sake of other characters

[to-illustrate-the-stars]

(delusional voice) kamisato art: hyouka!!!!!

#genshin impact #hyouka #eru chitanda #kamisato ayaka #something something characters who retrace the same themes of duty and belonging and also I LOVE THEMMMMMM #star's art #ive been like rotating these two in my head for ljke 2 years now and seeing concept art for ayakas skin finally let me draw them......wauuua #i was wondering wtf to do for the bg but then i remembered natsu//yuu vol30 and how much i love the cover for it and this happened <333 #chinju forest and the scenery from ep 22 as the home they r forever bound to [explosion] #the fan doesnt mean anything fancy but both of them having plots where they uncover some hidden truth abt a family member dear to them.... #im connecting thr DOTS!!!!!!!! #the green flowers are from ep1 visuals and the pink r supposed to be camellias for ayaka :> #holds them so gently... my beloveds.................. #if i ever get around to posting scribbles i have like 4billion misc crossover stuff from random favs of mine bc its the only stuff ive drawn #lately #ithink thats everything i had to say rigjt at this moment #goodnight!!!!!!!

[gilliontidestriderchampionoftheu]

tbh the worst part is that we just dont know who is or isnt a black ops. admiral grandma didnt say "soldiers" were replaces, just that "targets" were. that could be anyone. pirates, queens, elders, random people on the street. anyone could be a fucking navy clone.

#my post #jrwi riptide spoilers #no bcus im making myself insane rn. there was so much triton skin in there. it was specifically called out multiple times. meaning the navy #has multiple triton black ops. so many of them. #im 10 seconds away from breaking out the red string im sitting here like #'grandma said 'my son is stable' so possible jayson OR drey could be black ops' #'could edyn be one? she is dealing with the navy and has spoken directly w admiral grandma and knows about the leviathans' #like it could be anyone. it could be anyone #grizzly why would you sow this seed of doubt #she wants to conquer the world she has an army of hidden clones #what the fuck #what am i supposed to do with this information #its all sitting in my lore doc but at the moment it doesnt really tie into literally anything else #aughhh #anyways we still have one episode left right? before the hiatus?

[cutemeat]

i know that they just included Mac Finds His Pride at the end of that 'episodes to watch before s16' post cuz they were going in chronological order w the eps listed and they're gonna bring up the dance this season ofc, but deep down i want it to have to do with Dennis Takes a Mental Health Day being at the end of this season and MFHP being a finale that did something unexpected and grounded in the emotional reality of a character somehow correlating to Dennis' ep....

#i just... man itd be so good #also i know some ppl are very against ppl making MFHP abt anything other than Mac #but truly theres just a gaping hole in the ep that is shaped a LOT like dennis #which is valid however #i still have my more literal theory that dennis was supposed to come out with/dance with mac in s13... but he decided to stay in the closet #so mac had to find a new dance partner to do the dance with #but i think the more grounded subtextual thing of it is dennis' arc in Gets New Wheels is a direct FOIL of Macs in MFHP #(dennis is afraid of his father and stays in the closet in Gets New Wheels V.S. mac is afraid of his father but comes out and STAYS out in #MFHP....) #esp considering the joke in MFHP where dee's like 'just get the gay man to dance on the gay #float its not that hard!' then IMMEDIATELY charlie comes into the scene talking abt how 'dennis got claustrophobic n he doesnt wanna drive' #like that ... the joke is LITRLLY that dennis is gay too but wont come out #AND THEN THEY GO BACK IN ON THIS JOKE THE VRY NEXT SEASON IN TEXTS WITH THE GRINDR BATHROOM SCENE LOL #i mean how can u argue its not insignificant that frank aka DENNIS' FATHER is being guided thru this journey where he sees the struggle #of someone whos been in the closet?? u think that could not even possibly be related TO HIS SON??? #but one fear what if they actually keep him in the closet forever cuz mac came out #WHAT IF #dennis takes a mental health day

[lonelyquail]

ok so while my ds is getting sand poured into it at alarming rates I'm thinking about how jrpgs in specific have a really weird desync with How Important Death Is. like some address it better than others but it very frequently happens where if you take a step back youll go "am I wild or is everybody just like, Really down with murder in this game". and consequences for said murder, especially in a characterization sense but even just actual physical consequences, don't really happen? unless it's a vehicle for conflict but like. when it is a vehicle for conflict it feels weird because why are These Guys actually taking the fact we killed somebody in broad daylight seriously and coming after us for it while all the other npcs and even the main party took it like it was another saturday evening

see I Think where the issue lies is in the fact that everything is in its own little world when you're in a battle? like. when you fight an enemy and you get leather out of it it's seen as something the enemy Drops and not. their hide. when you defeat a character in a battle it does just feel like you Defeated them. unless there's dialogue afterwards that says otherwise you don't even mentally assume you killed em you just wounded them enough to make them flee or dissolve or whatever. and it's Weird to just. have that assumption there because for a lot of games it really isn't clear if you're killing them or defeating them !!

that last point is extra important when you have the specific brand of Skittish Hero / Noble Hero Who Doesn't Kill People / Rational Hero In Way Over Their Head or whatever where you really don't think they Would kill a guy just to get them out of the way. in that case it's REALLY weird because it's hardly brought up. even if it Is brought up that that guy Sure Did Die the mc doesn't tend to actually have a reaction ??? and I don't know why this is ???? like Any written reaction would be more interesting than nothing even if the guy doesn't have a full on crisis about taking another life having them go "oh shit, The Consequences" would be nice. really anything except (oh cool we can advance the plot now).

I will also mention that Some deaths do matter plot wise but very frequently what makes them matter is how much of it is linked to an in game battle I think. if your mc just finishes a fight and comes back to the overworld and the guy's Disappeared or Dissolved or whatever it means they don't matter. if the guy's still around after the fight it means it's more significant, especially if they're still alive but wounded or Really Shaken Up. because this clears up the indistinguishable line between if a battle is lethal or not and if a character decides to deal a finishing blow now it's Way more telling of their character. even though this is basically the same thing that happened in the (killed In A Battle) scenario. just with more dialogue. I will also mention that the person who deals the finishing blow is Rarely Ever that good hearted protagonist and often they'll even go :0 at somebody else committing a murder despite them instigating and helping murder quite a few people. just. In Battle. so it's less bad. I guess.

this is leaving out the fact that in party deaths are often a Major Major Blow because like. ok that's fair. that's A Guy You Knew that's understandable. anyway I don't really know where I'm going with this I just think it's interesting how in these types of games death can swap from not mattering at all to mattering a Lot and if u don't think about it too hard u don't even question it. I'll probably be putting some examples in the tags idk

#i will note that in this specific instance most of my party Is actually super down with murder like vocally #so its less weird but it Is weird that the mc does. Not Seem The Type. #i mean not to say he should have tried to spare everybody i think its kinda neat that he doesnt but #if the fact that he doesnt was brought up at all thatd be interesting. have him acknowledge he killed a dude #but no hes just kind of standing there like (ok what next) no leaning one way or another #these would all be interesting reactions if they were actually Brought Up in dialogue but no its just. oversight #anyway this is about sand but ive also felt this about live a live and even bits of twewy #like specifically in lal the fact that the edo chapter Exists and killing people is just Battling Them made me look at Every Other Chapter #thru a lens of (okay am. am i killing these dudes.) and the answer is I DUNNO #like the guy exploded into a cloud of mist theres no way hes Not dead but its STRANGE #this felt most noticeable in the imperial china and present day chapters because they had mcs who decidedly did not feel down with murder #specifically present day because masaru is fighting this guy for the crime of killing a guys. and woa. he killed a guys. with his Hands #i think theres only a handful of deaths in lal that actually mean anything and you can tell which they are because they dont explode #like in You Know The Part with The Character I Cant Say that guys i think the only time defeating an enemy Leaves A Corpse #ok actually thats a lie the Other Guy I Cant Say in The Chapter Before That also died like that and that was equally important #s also worth mentioning that said first guy can ? also die without leaving a corpse? just turn to ash?? #depending on where u go with him. which is weird right. thats weird right. #maybe that just means (hey youre not supposed to feel bad about him dying this tiiiime) #anyway its 5 am ill post this in the morning #vee shut up

[sharkjumpers]

aughhhh (clutches my cursed eye.)

#Sorry to vent on tumblr but i have nowhere else to talk right now: #i was doing so good in school but ive taken a steep decline and it feels like everything is Over and i'm failing. its literally just three #classes. all i can do all day is cry and stare at the wall and i dont feel like anything really at anything i do. i dont know what to do an #its killing me. Im gonna do something that lands me on national television. im in pain all day and have a migraine every day and when i don #im busy sobbing the rest of the time. i know its just because its that time of the year but that doesnt really help me at all. im trying my #hardest and it still isnt enough. Wat am i supposed to do. Theyre putting me down tomorrow. #i have not felt this bad in a while and its not Nice and I Dont Like it and I cant pull myself up. i cry as soon as i wake up. Who is #putting me through some matt murdock depressive episode simulator. #i need help but theres nothing anyone can help with and i dont want to be here* #*here meaning the state i live in. #i am so Alone here. #i feel little and stupid

[spitblaze]

i know that interpretation is an individual thing and our conclusions are formed by our experiences and no two people will come away with the same conclusion from the same piece of art. i know that. i know that. it still feels bad when I add a song to a character/story playlist because my interpretation of it is thematically relevant when the original intent is very much like. not that

#spitblaze says things #i have never had any relationship with jesus so i came away from john my beloved with. a very different take than what its supposed to be #that will of course not stop my gay and mentally ill brain from drawing conclusions #(that being a kind of love story where the narrator has a weird relationship with his feelings for his partner #loves him more than anything. shoves him away bc he doesnt feel he deserves him. his partner brings light to his miserable life. weird) #idk. like i said. im not good at dissecting subtext and symbolism but that doesnt mean i dont enjoy it

[maudlin-scribbler]

Mother has told me she thinks that my behaviour has been getting worse lately and that apparently she doesn't recognise me anymore but it's really that I'm so tired of her shit and my family in general + school + my mental state that I barely care to pretend around her anymore and yes maybe I am more of a dick around my family. But whatever me sometimes raising my voice at them and telling them to leave me alone is only like 5% of everything they've ever put me through

#corin's lore #Okay so where I was a dick maybe was that #My aunt wanted to talk to me on the phone and I told my mom I wasn't on the mood to talk to her #I really wasnt cause she was gonna give me some advice I didnt care for #So aunt hears and gets pretty upset curses my mother out and then hangs up #And okay. Its my fault but now my mom is upset at me and even threatened to take my phone away #And now mother is on this whole spiel bout how Ive changed and she doesnt recognise me anymore yada yada yada #Ive always been kind of a dick & obnoxious ig its my thing. Im full of love but I can be mean #She says ive gotten more Like That. #Also she told me my aunt is probs crying and I know im supposed to care but my aunt sure she gives us money but shes a dick to us too #And like. Shes not crying ik her she's just upset at me. And i dont give a damn idk i dont even hate her #I just have a hard time feeling any sort of affection for my family which is fucked up but I can abrely feel anything for any of them #Besides.my sister whom I love I cant say that I really love any of them theyre just there to me

[gibbearish]

i can't take any discourse post seriously if it says "x side is refusing to listen to survivors" because if you can't accept that survivors are not a monolith and may disagree with you in regards to your shared type of trauma then it really begs the question, are YOU actually listening to survivors? or are you only listening to the ones who say what you already thought and disregarding the rest as a) people who are incapable of understanding their own trauma and therefore can't be trusted to make decisions about it for themselves or b) outright fakers?

#i also go out of way to try and take all discourse posts with a heaping helping of salt but these ones specifically im like #conflicting access needs dude what hurts you might help another person so you need to step back and ask yourself if what they're doing #is overall harmful or just harmful to you specifically and act accordingly #theres nothing wrong with you being the problem here‚ its ok to be like 'i cant be around this' and dip #ik the word problem has negative connotation but idk ive always felt like my brain worked a little differently than other ppls w that #problem doesnt mean anything morally bad it just means somethings not working as intended and so #you need to problem solve to fix it #you have a problem that is you can't be around xyz thing while others can #and in your own spaces youre allowed to solve that problem by requesting others not bring it in with them if doable or to work together #to minimize its impact on you if you have to be around it #but in spaces where that thing is accepted and enjoyed and you are the outlier‚ theres nothinf shameful abt the solution to that problem #being removing yourself from that space #you were the problem‚ so you solved the problem. it doesnt have to be a bad thing yknow? #same with 'broken' ive had multiple people to me explain why i shouldnt use that word about myself but im like #no i understand abt forming neural pathways with negative words but its not negative to me genuinely !!! its just a descriptor!!!! #like. a part of my body is supposed to work/exist in a specific way‚ but it didnt. it was broken‚ it couldnt perform its intended function #it was broken‚ and we fixed it #you wouldnt tell me to call a broken bone a fuckin. 'area for improvement bone' it got broke! it dont work anymore!! #my brain doesnt produce the chemicals its supposed to‚ its BROKEN and im taking medicine to fix it #i think veronica got it but i only got to see her for a few months #anyways. that was kind of offtopic but i think still follows the central theme of just. understanding that sometimes people's brains #work different from yours and they process the world differently than you #i dont call other people broken because i know that would be mean given how their brains interpret the word but i do feel comfortable #using my own version of language to describe myself #autism dialect KENFKSBFKSBFMDB

[lesbuoyant]

everybodys all lets condemn people with Morally Impure Interests until all of a sudden you have an interest that is suddenly considered Impure and wanes in and out of Public Opinion for many years because nobody actually knows how to think for themselves online. personally i think we'd all be very lonely if we chose and broke friendships based on.... What Video Games They Like and like absolutely nothing else regarding the person's character

#like consider the fact that Steven Universe was considered Irredeemable Media 5 or so years ago #which sounds like me just bitching about the fact that ive been getting into pretty NOTABLY muddy media as of late (which is true) #but even when it comes down to it... #you start talking to people in real life and its like hey everyone has a voice and opinions outside of the media they consume #You know #and it doesnt just end there this is rlly why ive looped back to supporting self expression and supporting victims above all else #in supposed “darkfic” “proship” “discourse” #its just kinda like.. #well none of these things are cut-and-dry. there is context behind why people do anything that they do #social media exists to curate a limiting digital image of yourself therefore people make judgment calls based on very small parts #of your whole character #and this is why i deleted twitter #because its like an ocd torture simulator #anyways i know im being incredibly vague and i mean OBVIOUSLY there are always outliers ie actual literal propaganda art and all of that #im making a sweeping statement because this type of discourse has become so aimless that words dont even have meaning anymore #like we just need to destroy the whole thing and start over. #anyways i might delete this later its just on my mind #becuase of those maia crimew posts lol