#i am so Alone here.

[sharkjumpers]

aughhhh (clutches my cursed eye.)

#Sorry to vent on tumblr but i have nowhere else to talk right now: #i was doing so good in school but ive taken a steep decline and it feels like everything is Over and i'm failing. its literally just three #classes. all i can do all day is cry and stare at the wall and i dont feel like anything really at anything i do. i dont know what to do an #its killing me. Im gonna do something that lands me on national television. im in pain all day and have a migraine every day and when i don #im busy sobbing the rest of the time. i know its just because its that time of the year but that doesnt really help me at all. im trying my #hardest and it still isnt enough. Wat am i supposed to do. Theyre putting me down tomorrow. #i have not felt this bad in a while and its not Nice and I Dont Like it and I cant pull myself up. i cry as soon as i wake up. Who is #putting me through some matt murdock depressive episode simulator. #i need help but theres nothing anyone can help with and i dont want to be here* #*here meaning the state i live in. #i am so Alone here. #i feel little and stupid

[autoraton]

same as it never was.

#variant + wip under the cut! #back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #fanart #my art #illustration #having big lone pines timeline feelings. can you tell #tfw when you're you but you're not You. #you're not the You they know and you're not the You they grew up with or raised and you're not the You who belongs here #tfw everything is better but nothing is right #but if you're the only one who knows any different #then is it really everything else that's the problem? #tfw you overwrite your entire reality but in doing so you created a world you don't and can never belong in #tfw you alone remember a childhood that never existed because you destroyed it #tfw you technically committed temporal genocide but your mom needs you to make space on the table for the turkey #as you can see i am normal about marty mcfly

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween! #digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone. #I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen. #Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture. #Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen. #The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers. #My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene. #The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined. #It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change - #You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts- #You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember. #WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

[fucklife101]

No one understands how much I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much I can’t even look on the mirror without feeling absolutely disgusted. I want to die.

#i dont want to be here #mentally exhausted #tw depressing stuff #im losing hope #i hate myself #i want to die #i’m so alone #self h@rm #i hate my existence #mental health relapse #anxi4ty #deppresing quotes #deppresing thoughts #depressing shit #i relapsed again #i want to disappear #tired of life #i hate my body #i hate me lol #i hate me why am i like this

[chrisbangs]

231003 ♡ Happy Birthday Bang Chan!

#chan #bang chan #stray kids #cb97net #createskz #*gfx #*m #long post #all the stars in the sky couldnt compare to how much i love you... thank you forever and for always... #i will be by your side till the sun sets okay? #together always... im happy here with you #you changed my life and made me into a warmer person... #i think im so lucky that the universe led me to you... im so grateful that you exist here with me... #my everything... you are always my brightest sun and i hope to continue to be your moon #how many times can i say thank you till my tongue grows numb it still wouldnt be enough... to say thank you to you #because of you i am here still today... because of your kind words i was able to hold onto who i was that night #im never truly alone because you're always a part of my heart and who i am now.. you exist inside my very heart #you are so truly and deeply a soulmate to me... #i love you... so much..

[sergle]

what I was talking abt earlier. we have fully looped back around and away from feminism, societally, whereas before it was very Feminism 101 to acknowledge that many parts of existing as a woman in a misogynistic society are painful and upsetting. not that being a woman is Inherently Negative in a bubble. but that living on this earth, in the conditions we're living in, is hostile to women. and that gender is a performance. that many of the Staples Of Femininity as accepted by society are things that you have to create and perform and mold artificially and aren't inherent, that COMPLAINING about day to day difficulties of existing as a woman is something that you're allowed to do. acknowledging these basic, again, feminism 101 things, that something tied to womanhood is more time consuming or more expensive or more dangerous Because Of The Problems. does not CREATE the problems. that when women complain about having to perform femininity, they are not, in fact, oppressing themselves. the call does not come from inside the fucking house. saying that you HAVE suffered does not fucking equate that you believe you SHOULD have suffered.

like I could talk about this for hours. how braindead and one-dimensional the Takes are getting. "being a woman is looking in the mirror and going fuck yeah i'm a woman" damn. I guess any negative experiences you have by living in a misogynistic world... are your fault if you are anything but positive? "you don't actually want liberation" we've fully gone back to telling feminists "you WANT to be oppressed" when anything negative about our society is pointed out. it's not real until I say it out loud, I guess, and then I'm actually the one who caused it. if anybody expresses any unhappiness with how they're treated or the status quo or the language and culture surrounding womanhood and femininity. they've created it, right that second. they invented it just now. it wasn't a problem before somebody complained, right? also trans women aren't braindead zombies who just follow the flow of whatever cis women around them say. I am pretty fucking sure they are very much aware of pain, and are MORE than aware of the swirling torrent of misogyny and standards of femininity than anybody else. actually. and I am pretty sure someone complaining on tumblr that being a woman means always putting on a performance is going to make someone change their mind about transitioning. also "performing femininity" as a necessity to being treated well as a woman is not fucking NEWS to your Local Trans Woman. I AM PRETTY SURE SHE GETS THE CONCEPT. using trans women as a scapegoat for this braindead perspective on gender politics is spineless, meritless, and pathetic.

#how I feel about my gender is not the same as how I feel about the living conditions of my gender #when I saw that post I screenshotted here I literally sat w my mouth open for a minute #sent it to my friends and was like am I fucking crazy. is this what we're doing now #Forced Positivity and that there is no war in ba sing se and actually #you're ruining children's lives if you complain about misogyny on twitter #I don't HAVE to tell little girls about the downsides because they are already being mistreated #before they have even heard the word 'misogyny' let alone know what it means #you do not have to be fucking happy all the time about the cards you're dealt. #you don't live in a bubble where it's just you and your mirror and your pretty dress and nothing bad has ever happened to you #unfortunately bitch. we will have negative experiences that are in fact. part of the package of being a woman #and IGNORING them doesn't make them not exist. actually they will continue to remain status quo unless acknowledged #sergle.txt #I see so much rhetoric that is JUST old-fashioned gender ideals being presented with liberal language on tiktok #that is just telling women that womanhood is just being a girllll and loving pretty things and being kind and gentleeeee and nurturing #and not working and just like being wholesome and being happy and being a light in ppl's lives and just LOVING LOVING LOVING being a woman #so if for even one second. you don't love it. you are actually failing at being a woman #if you complain about the standards for shaving or putting on makeup. which used to be Baby's First Feminism online #that's actually just you creating problems. you're not supposed to acknowledge it. you're supposed to shut up and smile into the mirror.

[immortalsins]

HANNIBAL (2013-2015) — SEASON ONE

Killing must feel good to God, too. He does it all the time, and are we not created in God's image? Depends on who you ask. God's terrific. He dropped a church roof on thirty-four of his worshipers last Wednesday night in Texas, while they sang a hymn. Did God feel good about that? He felt powerful.

{inspiration}

#hannibal #hannibaledit #l.gifs #flashing gif #will graham #no way am i tagging all the characters actually #magnum opus. if we're going by effort alone #some of the choices here are as ugly as hannibal's interior design but we move #:/ started off trying to make it pretty and it's dissolved into chaos #pls enjoy my visual clutter i spent hours&hours on it #jumping between serious creepy gifs & then making things objectively so silly #homage to s1 of my favourite silly show <3 #small explanation: the typewriter text is what appears to be the situation (to the fbi). the gifs obviously show the truth that we know #so if ur thinking e.g. tobias budge did not kill franklyn. yes but thats what is believed by everyone but hannibal #idk if thats necessary to say #sometimes theres a dichotomy between the text and gif. sometimes not #so idk if it was clear #anyway #there we have it #good lord #im done #there are so many things i want to say abt insignificant details sjdbjhsb e.g. hannibal not being in the final few gifs is deliberate. #hes menacing in a ghostly background kind of way #the same way he is in s1 #okokok im going to post thsi now my procrustination is getting ridiculous #pls if you see a mistake i would love to have it pointed out #so i can fix it early on #i am sure there is one #ANYWAY posting & logging off . this was hours and hours worth of work holy shit

[xoxoemynn]

I came up with the idea for today's love fest over the weekend when I saw a lot of comments from people expressing sadness about the cancellation, and then also some embarrassment for feeling that way, or feeling alone in their emotions. I wanted to do something positive that felt personal and that would remind people that fandom isn't going anywhere.

Originally I thought to do it a few days after the WJW with DJenks, figuring we'd need another boost after that high wore off. Obviously the WJW didn't end up happening, but then I realized it was Rhys' birthday today, so that also felt like a great reason to spread a bit of love (not that you ever need a reason for that!).

And honestly, while the whole point was to make other people smile, the whole experience really boosted my own spirits tremendously. While stalking perusing everyone's blogs for inspo, I was reminded quite powerfully just how many extremely kind, talented, smart, funny, insightful, beautiful people there are in this fandom.

So I just want to say thank you. All of you who create gifs, make art, write fic, analyze the show, share shit posts, or reblog all of the above so we can see it again and again and again, you have made a difference in my fandom experience. With every post, you made me fall in love with Ed and Stede and the whole crew just a little bit more. Whether you're someone who's always in the tags or someone who prefers to quietly reblog, you have made my time here very special and I'm so grateful. 💕

#emynn.op #ofmd #also please know I tried to get to as many of you as I could but I'm still just one person #I'm also afraid there may be a bit of user error when I was trying to submit some of the asks from switching between tabs #and also I don't doubt tumblr ate a few since APPARENTLY there's a limit of 10 asks/hour and I sent...about 130 #so please know even if I didn't reach out to you directly I am still giving you all the love and good vibes in the world #and I'm so happy you're here 💕 #and if you're ever feeling down or alone just reach out #to me or to some other friendly face on this site #bc if there's one thing I got out of today #it's the knowledge that this fandom has a whole lot of love to give #basking in all the love tonight and I hope you are too #💕💕💕💕

[cinamun]

Good morning to women over 30 who feel old, specifically because our dumb ass culture says that women over 30 are old and useless, and everyone has been buying into that dumb ass shit.

Spoiler: You're not old. You look great and have really landed in a wonderful place in life. I hope you know that and I hope you keep living.

Have a wonderful weekend.

#psa #got kids out here dying before they see 20 #its a privilege in some places to reach 25 let alone 30 #no fr #I am SO glad you're here

[youweremyversaillesatnight]

Tula of the Red Warren

“We’re all the Blue. The Blue’s in all of us.”

#dimension 20 #burrow's end #tula #tula burrows end #brennan lee mulligan #i’d love to do the rest of the table and make a full set of these but idk if i’ll have the time or motivation #this one alone took me the better part of two days #also in case anyone was wondering: the diamonds are a reference to tula being of the second generation at the table #drawing (whether digital or traditional) is not my typical medium so i am very much out of my comfort zone here #but i do like how it turned out

[cerise-on-top]

Hi! Hope you're having a lovely day ✨️

Valeria and Gaz with a fashion designer s/o! Dressing them up and using them as a practice model to test new designs... this has nothing to do with my need to put Valeria in a suit, ofc not

Anon, you're so galaxy brained for wanting to put Valeria in a suit in all honesty! She'd look so good in one because women always look good in suits!

Gaz and Valeria with a Fashion-Designer!S/O

Gaz: He’d honestly be so flattered you wanna use him as a practice model. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a very pretty man and he’s well aware of that fact, but he didn’t think he’d ever get that sort of privilege. The first time you measure him he’s a bit confused, but complies, asking you with a chuckle about what you’re doing. However, as soon as you present him with a jaw dropping suit that leaves every other one in the dust, he’s a big fan. While he may have supported you from the very beginning as soon as he heard that you’re a designer, his support skyrockets as soon as you present him with the first piece of clothing for him to wear. He feels so very fancy wearing it. He may be used to wearing fancy clothing from time to time when invited to certain occasions, such as weddings, but he never really paid much mind to that sort of thing. Once you’ve put the first article of clothing on him, he’ll ask you if you wanna use him as a practice model again at some point. Only if you feel like it, of course. He hopes you’ll say yes, he loves how creative you are and the things you create. You’re a lovely designer who puts their heart and soul into it all, and it shows. Although unprompted and despite it being a bit silly, he’ll also pose and do that one walk models do where they sway their hips. He feels pretty in your clothing. If he can afford it, which he likely can, then he’ll even buy some of the things you’ve made. And yes, he will 100% wear them as well, doesn’t matter if it’s a fish tail or if it’s a shirt with a dragon on it. He unironically loves it and will wear it whenever he can.

Valeria: She chuckles a bit when you ask her to put on some clothing you made. Valeria is a very attractive woman, and she knows it, so she’s not at all surprised when you ask her to put on a suit. She’s worn those before, and every time she has she was turning heads left and right. If you blush while seeing her in a suit then she’ll chuckle and trap you against the wall before letting you continue whatever it was you were doing. Like Gaz she wholeheartedly supports you, and she’ll own every single article of clothing you’ve ever created. While she may not have the time to wear them all every time, you will catch her wearing your creations from time to time, if there’s no danger of them tearing. Valeria’s glad that you trust her enough to want her to try on all your prototypes and will gladly pose like a professional model for you and you only. The first time you measure her she, too, would be a bit confused and would ask you regarding what you’re doing, but afterwards she’s more than happy to model for you whenever she can. She doesn’t have a whole lot of time for that, but the things you do for love. If you ever want a real, professional model, she can arrange one, though, it’s no problem for someone like her. Besides, she has a pretty good eye for fashion as well, so she can give you some hints regarding what could look good and what might be a complete no go. You don’t have to do as she says, but she will point it out if you do. If she ever does find herself having the time and there’s a fashion show that shows some of your clothing, then she’ll watch it and jokingly tell you that she looked better in your clothes than all those models did. If you ever need some creative inspiration then I’m sure Valeria can help you as well, she’s seen plenty of things and is always more than happy to help you. Besides, she can get just about anything as well, so you really don’t need to fret if you wanna feel the fabric of something yourself.

#cod #cod x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #y'all would never guess who got sick again -.- but hey! at the very least I'm doing home office this time instead of resting up! #this request made me realise just how gay I would be for Valeria Garza. the one and only. to wear a suit #I need her to wear a really fancy suit and show herself off because she'd look so so good in it #sometimes I do go on pinterest and look up women in suits just because my heart can barely take it #women in suits are my ambrosia and I am so glad they exist. more women should wear suits in all honesty #maybe next month when I've gotten paid again I will commission someone to draw Valeria in a suit #naturally I will share it here because everyone deserves to see that sort of thing #the thought alone makes my heart sing with joy I think I will do that #Valeria is among best girls and I would force the world to stop spinning just to make her happy

[lucydoodlessometimes]

Icon...

#lucy doodles #my art #fanart #miraculous fanart #miraculous ladybug fanart #miraculous ladybug #the BOOTLEGGEST adrien agreste redesign... #HIS DESIGN IS MY WRITING PARTNERS TO DO AND I DONT HVAE A REF YET LEAVE ME ALONE #adrien agreste #ladrien #love square #this is actually about a month old #i just shaded a little #and now you get it!! #ladybug miraculous #miraculous #miraculous au #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous lb #miraculous adrien #miraculous ladrien #miraculous redesign #miraculous rewrite #yeah... i could be happier with this one #but it is here. and i worked hard on it. #and so i am going to post it and you all are going to LIKE IT

[bamsara]

Currently stuck at the airport alone for over 9 hours on a 17 hour total travel time today and as soon as I figure out how to connect to the airport wifi it's over for you hoes /j

#i am ALONE in an empty airport and im going to be here for 8-10 hours by myself #and i cant even get food yet because my desk for my flight isnt open to get a check in so i cant go thru security #for the record i agreed to this since my ride could drop me off NOW or not at all because of Circumstances and i didnt want to intrude lmao #sara shush

[uncanny-tranny]

I think what might actually help the families of trans loved ones is to actually engage with where the trans person is at - especially if the family isn't quite understanding yet. When I came out, I was completely alone in figuring out my manhood. I had peers and I had exposed myself to so many trans people who explored gender, and while it was amazing, it isn't quite the same at times. I grieve quietly, sometimes, about all the missed opportunities that might have just made it easier for my family to have seen how utterly happy I was. It took them a very long time to actually notice that I was happy, especially once I got on testosterone. I'm lucky that they saw that happiness eventually, and slowly accepted it. My manhood is completely detached from their influence, both to my relief and chagrin. It's sad to me that I learned to shave from a kind online stranger, somebody who didn't even have a father and yet, I do. I have a father. I grieve at the loss of a potential shared experience. I grieve about the pain I went through when I was in that stage of transition, especially because it was raw and vulnerable. I grieve that many trans people today are traversing the path I had to, because it's sometimes lonely (even when you do have other forms of support).

It's hard to know that I will never have gotten my sense of being from my family. In many ways, it has severed a lot of connection with them because there were so many times that I was begging them to see happiness when they were focused on the idea that I was almost in a state of purgatory - flesh which felt warm but held no familiarity to them. I don't harbor ill-will toward them, I hope I don't leave the impression that I despise them. I understand what they felt, even if I can't conceptualize it myself. However, it's a raw wound in my heart, and I don't want to leave anybody else feeling that way, either.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #ally advice #i'm thankful that my manhood is the way it is. but it was a painful journey to get here and i did it partially alone #i absolutely am grateful to have had my friends and the trans people who made themselves known though. i owe these people my life #i still think it's not unreasonable to have wished for my /family/ to have been part of that journey sooner especially when i was young #sometimes it seems like parents who believe their child has died after they express their transness make that a self-fulfilling prophecy... #...in that the parent often aloenates themself/themselves from their child in a variety of ways... #...i was alienated from my dad when he threatened my transition - it became a self-fulfilling prophecy in that i shut myself down... #...i retreated inward and in a way became a ghost - corporeal to the touch but a spirit who may not be seen... #...in many ways i felt in limbo between life and death. it was a cycle of purgatory #and that is something i think is best avoided. it's lonely and scary and it makes it hard to imagine a future #i need to emphasize that even though this was shitty i am still lucky in so many ways #i just faced a lot of undue shit even so - shit i don't think was conducive to a good environment or well-being

[jojo-schmo]

Sworn Partners at their weekly Dreamland protection strategy meeting

#-coughs up sugar packets- I am on some kind of sweet fluffy ship streak these days oh my lord #I never EVER thought id get to the point where id pubicly post fluff let alone this often but here we are. HERE WE ARE. #HAPPY BIRTHDAY META KNIGHT #sorry I didn't have anything more substantial prepared but alas I am a desk sitter with woefully little free time #so i made sure he got kissed instead #someday I will be able to make actual art pieces about these characters #but for now i humbly offer these drabbles instead #i said to myself the other day “be the metadede you want to see in the world” so I just make them smooch a bunch #hope that's cool with yall #meta knight #king dedede #metadede #kirby series

[enii]

Don't push yourself too hard💕

#illustration #artists on tumblr #cute #artoftheday #digital illustration #wholesome #cat illustration #cat of tumblr #caturday #pretty cats #cats in love #you are not alone #i am here for you #thank you for always being here #i'll always be here #a gentle reminder #you can't do everything all at once #please be gentle with yourself #be gentle with yourself #small progress is still progress #so proud of you for trying #it's okay to cry #everything will be okay #its okay #rest #rest is productive #relatable #relatable art #gentle reminder #rest is important