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k-arb · 9 months

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Dunked on: a collection of thoughts reguarding sans

I like how sans just cheats. Specifically at the end of the genocide route. When you get there, youre expecting a fight, be it from asgore, sans, or whoever. When it finally starts, youre braces for it to begin, you know the rules of the game, youre prepared with your highest healing items

And then sans goes first. You arent expecting it, it hasnt been like that the entire game, and youre not even familliar with the mvoes hes using. You know how the blue soul works, assuning you played pacifist beforehand, but noones ever been able to physically move your soul. And then theres the gaster blasters, more moves you know nothing about. Everything flies at you so quickly, you almost instantly die. And the whole time youre confused as to why youre taking heaps of damage with what looks like poison chipping away at your health.

Your invcibility frames are gone, mentally youre thinking "thats not fair". And it isnt. Sans doesnt let you go first because you dont deserve to be fought fairly. Youre a mass murderer with too much unchecked power, noone in their right mind is going to want to fight you fairly. So sans cheats

Immediately after the first attack, you may fight, but by checking you find out how sans cheeses the game. "The weakest enemy, can only do 1 ATK". 1 ATK sure, he can only deal 1 hp of damage, but with the absence of your i frames, now replaced by the KR meter, 1 hp adds up. And it adds up fast.

Now maybe after checking him, you decide to try out your new weapon. But you cant. Sans knows you'll kill him in one hit, so he does something no other monster has until this point. He dodges. He dodges your attacks, breaking the rules of how the game is supposes to work. Monsters dont dodge, theyve never been able to. Sans doesnt care. This isnt a fair fight, and he never intended for it to be one. Everything he does is to get you to give up and stop playing, because that means you cant hurt anyone else. And playing a game thats unfair sure as hell wont want to make you play anymore.

Sans's attacks are unlike any other in the game. He plays dirty. Sometimes theres a pattern to be followed, sometimes there isnt, and you have to think on your feet in order to not get killed. His attacks dont give you any breathing room to speak of, you have to jump through tight spaces, inch your way between bones, its always at 100 and wont ever not be.

Then the turning point happens. Something stressed in undertale is that your goal as the player is to see what happens. You kill almost everyone just to see what sans will say, or to see how things play out. Its always you wanting to see whats next. So when sans presents you with the option to spare him, some might give into that desire, and click the button. This is tied for sans's biggest act of cheating. He puts you in a box, shoves it full of bones, and gives you nowhere to run.

Youve been dunked on. Sans says so himself. In an attempt to get you to stop once more, he says that if you really are friends, you wont bother coming back. Hes a sore winner, and he tells you to never boot up the game again because youre just that bad.

Now once you come back, and decide not to spare him, his attacks get harder. The screen blacks out, youre unprepared for what happens next, and the gaster blasters ramp up in intensity. And to make matters worse, he gets more blatant with his cheating. He begins attacking you during your turn, in the text box, in your menus, not enough to kill, but just enough to chip your health down to 1. Reminding you that this isnt a fair fight. It never was, and it wont get any easier.

The fight keeps getting harder, you only learn how his very first attack works now instead of when you needed to, and the quick attacks get quicker. All the while, sans appears to be getting more and more tired. So he issues one last attack before his so-called special attack one thats a combination of almost all of his attacks so far, and if you manage to survive all of that, he just grabs you and throttles you around the room like youre nothing. It doesnt kill you, but it does rub salt in the wound.

Then, after youve made it to the end, sans tells you what his final move is going to be. Nothing. Aboslutely nothing. This is the biggest act of cheating sans displays. Its as if you were playing chess, and the opponent means to win by never moving. Sans is going to keep having his turn forever. It doesnt matter how long you stay there, hes not going to give up. It never becomes your turn. Sans has won by initiating a stalemate.

At least thats how it is before you decide to play along.

The only way to beat a cheater is to cheat back. You do something youve never been able to before. That being having your turn during sans's you push the text box to the side, and then down, and press the attack button. Sans, still keeping up his cheating streak, decides to dodge again. But at this point you dont care. Mid sentance, you issue your first and final blow. Sans falls, bleeds, and realizes hes lost. Then, he simply gets up, and walks off screen. If he cant beat you or cheat the system, the least he can do is take away the satisfaction of seeing you die.

So yeah, sans cheats. He cheats a whole bunch. And i like that. Its such a frustrating fight, and i feel it was at least partially designed to be. Story-wise it also makes sense because why would anyone plal fairly against you, a murderer?

Im not sure how to end this off, so i'll just reiterate that i really like how sans cheats against you, and i hope hes drinking ketchup in undertale heaven.

#sans undertale #undertale #sans cheats a lot lmao #essay #maybe????#hope bettina levy sees lol

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thedeafprophet · 2 months

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38, 40, and B for all!

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

Alex:

Alex doesnt thing of the distant past, wont let himself. At least not now. Most things are heavily repressed as much as he can to avoid thinking about that.

In terms of more recent things,,, I think he freudntly revists the memories with his child. He misses the hybrid quite a lot, the parabolan base camp feeling far too empty when he's the only one there. There's a sense of almost nostalgia in returning to those memories, even if the situation was not great, he still misses the times in his own way.

Jamie:

Jamie tries to avoiding revisiting memories (...in more ways then one...) but isn't always so successful in that matter. As far as they're considered the past is done - there's no sense fussing over it, nothing could have been different anyways......

In lighter terms, it's probably happier memories they return to. Old times of telling stories late into the night, adventures when running off into the nearby woods, all sorts of little things.

...in darker terms, it's probably one of the many memories of being alone in the past

Or, perhaps, more recent memories. Of a hand in their hair or the grip on their wrists, and other less entierly wanted things....

Josephine:

She doesn't remember a whole lot from when she was young, both the fading from the years gone by and the ever complicated mix of devasting trauma making it harder to piece together where things fit.

But she remembers lying up in the evening outing, fighting sleep that tried to pull her under, listening to the peaceful sound fingers on keys as her mother played the piano. What that melody was, she has long since forgotten. But the way it made her feel secure, that she keeps.

Aurora:

I think Aurora tends to go back to the memory of her childhood a lot. When she first was taken home by her mother, she gave Aurora a toy bear, the first toy Aurora ever really had. She thinks on that memory a lot, and what came from it, and where she is now.

They also frequently revist a memory of the first time they truly spilt blood. It wasnt even intentional - fencing blades arent supposed to be sharp. they dont know what happened... or truly what they remember

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Alex:

I think,,,,,, Alex is aware, somewhat, of his flaws. But it really depends on his flaws. Alex knows he's grouchy and awkward and doesnt get along with people because of it- and he's fine with that. Most of the time he wants to be left alone and not deal with other people. It only becomes a problem when he wants to get along and help someone and is left unable to do so. he really doesnt mean to come across as insulting, but he know he does.

Other things well... Alex knows he has a temper. He's aware and tries his best to avoid loosing his cool but well... its hard. especially with the situations he's been in leaving emotional regulation all the more difficult for him. He's terrified of turning out like the people who've hurt him, terrified of hurting those he cares about, and he's quite sensistive about his anger because of these things. He doesnt know what to do.

And then theres the things he's not fully aware of. at least not fullly. Alex's hypocricy and controlling behaviour are things he really should be more sensitive too but... well. its harder to recgonize these things when you believe its justified.

Jamie:

Extremely, extremely sensitive to their flaws. And then some. Jamie tends to over exagerate their own performance and see flaws even when they arent there. Were they talking too loud again? For too long? Did they say the right things? To the right people? Everyone was watching them, what if they did it wrong? They are the type of person to lie awake at night analyzing every single interaction theyve had during the day and then some. They tend to get heavily into their own head and overjudged and anaylze their every fault in a very unhealthy way.

Thats not to say this really effects the way they behave. Jamie still acts selfish and self serving, still tends to talk over and past others, and hardly ever learns their lesson about sticking their nose where it doesnt belong, or insulting people when they really shouldnt. No matter if theyre aware that they shouldnt do these things they still..... do it.

They know what they do isnt healthy. They know interacting with certains things and certain people isnt good for them

They still do it anyways.

Josephine:

Josie is well...she's a very ends justify the mean type of person. Yes of course her obsessive need to know isn't good, yes she can become overly captured on a topic, yes she keeps information she knows from others people but this is all FOR A REASON. she has goals to reach, plans in motion, things to come. is it always morally good? No. But the world they live in isnt either. Some sacrifices have to be made.

Other things, she denies all together. It is very clear to anyone that Josie is too caught up in her grief, her inability to move on. But how can she be blamed for that? When the world has been so horridly unfair to her?

So yes, i suppose Josephine is sensitive to and aware of her flaws. but she would never admit and succumb to them.

Aurora:

Rory has no flaws. She sees nothing wrong with what she's doing. She certainly doesn't sit up at night wondering if there's any purpose in what she does, if killing for the sake of it is at all worth her time.

In other things well.... She grew up with the world so insistent that she had to behave one way, its hard still not to view just existing against the mold as a flaw, no matter how untrue it is. she tends to just shove everything down and try to avoid thinking about it.

B) What inspired you to create them?

idk i just work here.

my ocs come to me in a beam to my head and they exist from then on out

i guess their individual ambitions inspired me ajkfglglhljk

#okay answering for every single one of them makes these long XD #oc talk #ask game

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arcaneyouth · 10 months

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Hmmm.... top 10 OCs and why you like them! Also allowed is just giving their entire backstory with each answer.

OH FUCKIN BOY this ones almost definitely going under a read more thanks

1) JOE!!!!

ironically i cant explain this one in detail sorry thats still spoilers. we are getting there in my comic i fucking promise just give me. another year. or two. fuck. anyways he's just!!!! he's my silly!!! he helped me figure out a lot about myself and what i wanted from the world and i kind of accidentally processed some of my biggest traumas through him and because of that every day he is a reminder that life continues, the time will pass anyways, tomorrow will always come, and fear of something ending does not have to control you

2) amedeo my fucked up piece of shit amedeo. ive already written paragraphs upon paragraphs about him in several different places so i will refrain from doing it again and focus on Why he means so much to me. he's kind of! like a counterweight to what joe helps me with? like joe reminds me i have the freedom to do whatever i want with my life, and amedeo reminds me i still gotta fucking be nice to people or that will have consequences i dont want. if i were to live my life purely by what joe helped me figure out i wanted, i would become amedeo and thats like not. good ADGAHFS and i have fallen down that path before. and there was still hope for him. so theres still hope for me. hes also really pretty

3) oh fuck now i have to choose between my beloveds. UHHHHHH dara we're going dara. honestly she only gets this high up the list because shes joes girlfriend, but she is still really interesting and special to me. dara did genuinely awful things.... 70 years ago. things she has spent the rest of her life trying to make up for. she is a good person who is trying so hard. she also cant even see how hard shes trying and sabotages herself often. she is the narrator of the story and its not a role she can bear. because she knows its not her story to tell. so she hands it to theron and lets them paint her as a monster, lets everyone believe she deserves whats coming to her, that shes the scum of the earth. and she knows her side of the story will change things. and she does not give it. she thinks the best way to make up for everything shes done is to finally let theron speak. its their story. and she is their villain. she knows its true. even as shes still trying, still trying to help people, still trying to survive one day at a time, still trying to improve (even if shes not good at it). she is still therons villain. she wont take that from them

4) reverie somethings fucking wrong with them. and you cant even blame them for it. at least when i go on unreality spirals i can get someone to confirm things are real and thatll help pull me out of it. reverie cant trust a word anyone tells them because Nobody Else Is Real. They Are All Made Of Code. of course an npc would tell reverie the world is real. of course the ai living in the game would tell reverie the world is real. what else can they do. the only other player, the only other real person in this game, left them. and now its just reverie. they cant find meaning in a life theyve replayed hundreds and hundreds of times. they get trapped in their own head because thats the only thing thats real. and their head isnt filled with any comfort. they are much too far gone to be helped by the people who care about them. and so the people who care about them choose to make them worse.

reverie is interesting to me because they are an awful person who just needed to let someone hold their hand and help them through their hardest days, but i know if i was in their position, i wouldnt have accepted it either. shattering what little hope they had left was genuinely the only way to get them to snap out of it and want help. if theyd just had a hug, that they could consider real, maybe theyd have been ok. but they couldn't.

5) eden, girl got dragged down hard by reveries spiraling. got treated like less than a person by them so much she believed she wasnt a person either. and none of it really mattered, in the end. everything she went through was about reverie. never her. for the entire story up until that point, it had never been about her, and at her lowest point at least she thought she had some kind of meaning and purpose as she shoved her sword through reveries chest and killed them in a way they couldn't just respawn from. and none of that was about her either. just reverie. any emotions eden felt did not matter for the plot elysium wrote. edens tragedy just fucks me up because she goes through so much for nothing and she still has to just wake up the next day and keep going. and she will. she just has to find something that matters, to her

6) theron this kids fucked up theyre like 10 and experiencing horrors beyond their comprehension

7) elysium,,,,, shes really pretty and also shes trying so damn hard to save reverie but the only way she can do it is to ruin their AND eden's lives. she's a good person. she writes the story and there was nothing she could do!! she just wants everyone to love the world she helped create for them and they Cant and that breaks her heart. she looks like shed give warm hugs and hand me a juice box

8) rowena. somethings wrong with her <3 she is kind, she is awful, she kills for her own fucked up sense of justice, she is the kindest person theron has ever met, she justifies innocent bystanders getting caught in her wrath because if they didnt want to die maybe they shouldnt have been on the wrong side, she is giving a 10 year old reason to hope and love again. she genuinely cannot be considered a good or bad person because every move she makes helps AND harms others at the same time. shes fun!

9) raid, they are another player of the game just like reverie (tho they dont know each other) and they are so comfortable with their life and they make me so happy. they wake up on a day theyve seen hundreds of times, and ask themself what they can do to make it special. life is what you make of it, and raid has made it into a love letter to everything thats ever existed. they have no control over when the resets and reloads happen since reverie is always doing it before they can even consider it, and they are ok with that. they really have a grip on what a joy it is to simply be alive

10) I CANT CHOOSE. FUCK YOU

#asks #WAAAAA THEM #MY BELOVEDS

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ninjayuri · 2 years

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warning. past fae was a lot less afraid of talking. dr3 hope arc the anime spoilers uh. i'm just copy pasting from discord idk man. and im NOT JOKING WHEN I SAY THIS IS FUCKING LONG

ruruka + seiko (a bit of sonosuke)

honestly, this dynamic is really, really well written. in fact, their toxicity/issues are focused on more than ruruka x sonosuke, and theres reasons for that, because this relationship has influenced their personalities and world views a lot, and explains some things too. ruruka, sonosuke, and seiko were childhood friends from the very beginning, with sonosuke and ruruka having a dynamic with more romantic undertones, while ruruka and seiko had,,,a lot of history. okay so ruruka? her whole candy making thing is actually a lot deeper than it seems, i feel like. like,,,,it's literally her only talent, so she feels like she isnt much good for anything else. on the other hand, seiko is seiko and shes very talented and stuff so what ruruka used to do is, she used to like ask favours of seiko a lot. and i mean a lot. seiko isnt dumb though, so she assumed that she was being used. but the thing is, she wasnt. ruruka was just glad to have someone to depend on, i think.

and like i mentioned earlier, candy making is ruruka's only useful quality in her mind, so the only way she can really think of paying seiko by is by giving her candy. so despite seiko repeatedly saying shes allergic to candy, and that consuming it can literally kill her, ruruka has trouble believing that, thinking that seiko probably looks down on her or something?? cuz ruruka doesnt have anything else to offer?? eventually i remember in the manga, seiko felt really bad so she did eat one of the candies, but then ended up hospitalized,,,,ruruka then ended up feeling bad and she visited seiko in the hospital a lot, etc etc. and despite all of these conflicts, they really did want to be friends. evidence for which i will present in this next essay

remember that one episode? the bombing and stuff? right, so nagito ended up taking the other bag blablabla, ruruka got blamed for the drugs and things, and because there was no way to tell that it was a different package, ruruka naturally assumes that seiko did this on purpose, gave her the wrong drugs, to make ruruka look even worse than she already feels. this is when they both really snap, and all the toxic aspects of their relationships that theyve been ignoring this whole time to focus on their caring for each other, all this pent up anger comes out. ruruka ends up blaming seiko for everything, and seiko responds in an equally hateful manner, they both end up saying things they dont mean, they get expelled, you know the story. this part is really important because this is the real point where theyre both too like,,scared?? of what the other thinks now??? so despite them both heavily regretting the things they said, this is waayyy too big of an event for them to just push aside like they used to. after this, theres really no easy way for them to reconcile, and they both believe the other girl will never forgive her because it was all jsut so,,,true? they both did mean it and i feel like, if they had the chance and things happened in a slightly different manner, this actually couldve been good for their relationship, because theyll both realize what the other girl is feeling and theyd be able to target those issues and heal their relationship. unfortunately, nothing is actually that easy, so they both take the easy way out: ignore each other, cut all contact, blablabla. but like i mentioned. they both DID feel extremely regretful as despite the toxic parts, they did value their relationship,,,it was just too far gone for them to fix easily after that

okay NOW we're getting to the real part. so the bombings happened, they arent friends anymore, they both think the other girl is a traitor, you know the story. but yeah, they feel regretful, yeah, they still want to be friends, but they kinda end up ignoring that because how could they?? after all theyve been through, after that other bitch messed up their life, they shouldnt care. they SHould hate each other. and so, seiko challenges sonosuke and ruruka in super beast mode. during this, seiko remembers the very beginning, where ruruka wanted to be her friend. she kinda gets really regretful at this point, because like. where did it go so wrong?? they were best friends. they really cared about each other. so why did it go so wrong?

however, seiko doesnt know that ruruka wasnt using her at all, she doesnt know about the fact that ruruka was just glad to have someone to trust and depend on. this next part isnt technically canon, but in the manga, they do get the reconcile scene they deserve, where they explain their feelings and fixed the relationship. seiko asked if she could have a candy, like ruruka always wanted, because she's gonna die in this death game anyway and shes at least like to do the one thing ruruka always wanted before she dies. and then in the anime again, right before seiko commits s//icide, she hears ruruka saying that all she wanted was to be seiko's friend.

some other uncanon things: i feel like ruruka probably has some kind of unexplained trust issues, because it shouldnt be so hard to believe that seiko genuinely was telling the truth with the being unable to eat her candy, like it shouldnt be something she feels she has to repeatedly state unless theres soemthing there. she obviously had some issues with being able to take seiko's words at face value despite caring about her, until seiko actually got hospitalized

SUMMARY: they had a very complicated relationship, that they both wanted, but with all of their struggles with not telling their feelings before something big broke them up, the potential caring dynamic they couldve had, unfortunately, never had the chance to happen.

it's realistic too. not the BOMBINGS AND STUFJHDFS i mean the dynamic. like sometimes? its easier to blame the other person, to ghost them, even if you deeply care and regret it, because explaining and all that is so incredibly difficult

#this is from! january of last year??????#I STILL TYPED THE SAME SEE oh mein gott why #i never even finished watching the fucking anime myself by the way what the HELL WAS I ANALYZING

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 2 years

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was annoyed with not knowing how long yaz and the doctor have actually been together and apart so i made a timeline

i dont know how clear the picture is but this is as far as i can tell how the timeline goes:

all the way on the left is 7 october 2018, first episode. all the way on the right is 17 april 2022, most recent episode. 1 cm on the timeline is approximately 1.5 months.

the first mark after the start of the timeline is 1 january 2019, resolution. thats the first date that matches up in universe and out of universe explicitly.

the second mark is exactly one year later, 1 january 2020, spyfall. i dont think spyfall takes place on january first in-universe? i dont remember any mention of it. so im gonna say spyfall just happens somewhere begin january. spyfall 2 follows exactly on spyfall 1 in-universe and we have a four day gap so i think we can push spyfall 1 back to 5 january too and then everything sorta kinda matches up again.

until the end of fugitive theres no explicit mention of how time goes so im just gonna assume that every episode is about a week apart for them too, just like it is for us. so orphan 55 to fugitive is about two weeks of travelling. (theres also that small time skip at the end of spyfall 2, “youre really quiet” “have been for days now” but it’s all close enough right? im eyeballing it)

then fugitive-praxeus are basically one day. we dont know how much time is between praxeus and can you hear me. to me personally the scene at the start of can you hear me feels like theyve been gone a while, and while that can be explained by them just not having been home since spyfall, spyfall is actually not that long ago if youre counting the way im counting right now. like spyfall (5 jan) would be only about a month from can you hear me (9 feb), so to my intuition theres like, another couple weeks between praxeus and can you hear me, but because theres no basis for that and to not mess with the timeline too much, im just gonna stick with 9 february for can you hear me for now.

can you hear me -> villa diodati -> ascension -> timeless children: all basically one day. YikesTM

then revolution i think we can place in the first week of january? i dont know if it’s directly january the first but soon after. their 10 months are our 10 months.

the following 10 months im also taking as 10 months for them. i know it’s a time machine and they could take as long or as short as they want getting from 1 january to 31 october, but for simplicity’s sake, im gonna assume it was about 11 months for them in their relative time too. so yaz and the doctor have basically caught up on the time yaz was alone stuck on earth at least.

that means that now theyve been travelling together for, eyeballing it still but i think, from 7 october 2018 to around 31 october 2021 - because flux is also basically one really long day for the doctor YikesTM2 (this is why timelords dont need as much as sleep as we do) or maybe two days, with a break between 13x3 and 13x4 - with a pause for the ten months/few decades, is about 800 days, or 116 weeks, or 27 months, or just over 2 years. thats time theyve spent travelling together. which it seems is a 24/7 sort of situation when theyre not interrupted by prisons and such.

but thats until the start of flux. the end of flux is to us about a month later, to the doctor is maybe like two 72-hour days later, and to yaz is obviously like 3-4 years later.

so to make up the score: thats 2 years together, a few decades apart for the doctor, and a few years apart for yaz.

then in eve of the daleks dan says “you saved the world last week” about the end of flux, so im gonna say they have a few days between flux and eve of the daleks to, like, lick their wounds. and sleep. and eat something damn this is why the tardis just makes custard creams come out of the console, i dont think 13 would eat otherwise.

and then eve of the daleks goes directly to sea devils. they go the short way from january first to easter sunday.

so just to really hammer that in, what for us was 6 months from halloween to easter sunday, for the doctor was one really bad week.

i mean, just for fun:

it’s halloween, youre chasing karvanista, get swarm in your head, find out about the flux, land in crimea, stop the sontarans, kidnap dan, walk into a trap to find yaz, risk your life and sanity to save yaz and also the guy youve just taken as an unwitting hostage who youve spent all of half an hour with, PLUS this boy yaz picked up whose name you dont even know, find some uncovered memories, talk to tecteun, get your tardis hijacked by a weeping angel, try to save this girl you met like half a day ago in another time and place, get horribly blindsided and turned into an angel and kidnapped and come face to face with tecteun again, who you just left like, a couple hours ago, tecteun dies, swarm and azure torture you, you get split in three, you save the world, you get your memories and you realise you really want to trust yaz with all this but you dont know where to start, you die 8 times by dalek fire, you watch yaz die 8 times by dalek fire, you feel the sword of damocles over your head and you realise what will happen if you let yaz into your heart any more than she already is.

she needs a vacation.

which brings me to what actually made me think about this in the first place: the finale probably takes place at least in part in our real normal time right? ace and tegan, theyre on earth, in our time. so i feel like we can assume that the date for them then will again match up with ours. one googling and reading the first result suggests maybe october 16 or 23.

but thats not really important, whats important is, will they again get six months of travelling together just like they did between revolution and flux? will their timeline match ours or will they do another time skip and go from april 17 directly to october 16? because i dont think i could deal with that. that would break me.

but i dont think they would do that! because like, with the sea devils there was no real in-universe date, because they were in the past, it might have been april 17 1807 but it doesnt really matter. the only dates that really matter about matching up are the ones where theyre in modern times in the show.

and other times where episodes have followed each other directly were because the end of one directly signaled the start of the next. eve -> devils. can you hear me -> villa diodati -> ascension -> timeless children etc

so what i would GUESS is they will have had time. some undefined amount of time that we can assume is six months bc it was six for us, where theyve been travelling with this “i want to but i cant” sort of, just like, There.

and i would expect the finale to then have a scene similar to 13x1 where yaz lets us know that it’s been a little bit with her frustration over her questions not being answered. i would expect something similar to happen at the start of the finale where we can see some of the tension between them and we get that this has been going on since sea devils.

i dont know what the tension will be really. i dont think it’ll be frustration. i could see the doctor being flirty at the start of the finale and yaz just like, having enough of that and snapping a little. similar vibe to 13 saying “stop asking me that”, yaz could be like “stop doing that”. not convinced it would be that though. i think i would enjoy it if it were something like that but i dont really expect it i think.

another option i can see is a sad vibe like the end of sea devils but if theres a time skip of six months i think they’d be over that, at least on the surface. so another other option i can see would be they would be like normal, just like, copilots being all in sync like in 13x1 and sea devils, but then Something happens or Someone says something that makes them go all Oh This We Dont Talk About. like you can feel how theyve been avoiding the topic and just been trying to Live In The Present for six months.

that i could also see happen. although i think i would like if it after sea devils they dont like, stop talking again. i’d love to see them in a way that makes it clear that theyve been talking a Lot over the past six months. like idk the doctor making casual references to old friends or yaz mentioning them.

or! you know what i would love, like, the doctor saying something like “trust me this is gonna work perfectly” and yaz going “thats what you said last time with jenny and madame vastra and then strax ended up with a concussion” and the doctor is like “yeah can you believe sontarans can get concussions? honestly thought their skulls were too thick”. THATS what i would love. like, please, bring in more lesbians. we can get all the lesbians in here if we really try. mention BILL for god’s sake. mention bill in a familiar way that makes it clear that the doctor has told yaz about bill, like not just the “she was a friend who died” bit but like, anecdotes, like yaz knows bill secondhand now. that definitely wont happen but that would be perfect

#WHAT do i even tag this #thasmin #thasmin timeline #that i can probably find back

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obihoe · 2 years

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thinking about madara growing up in a world consisting entirely of violence, war and destruction, continuously being forced to participate in warfare to protect himself and his loved ones .. but he cant, all of his brothers die one after the other. his friendship with hashirama is tainted by all of that, too, their dream of a peaceful village turns out to be a lie for him .. before and after that short time in the village all madara does is keep fighting and fighting and fighting even tho all he wants is a world where him and hashirama could be together, where his brothers are still alive, where nobody is forced to keep fighting like that anymore but fate just doesnt let that happen for him .. then he starts reading about the origins of chakra on the uchiha monument and comes to the conclusion that no matter how hard he struggles, there Never will be a world without constant violence, a thought that is so unbearable to him that it makes him despair but at the same time he also starts immersing himself in battle even more now, deciding to just lose himself in it completely, finding ways to find joy in it even cuz theres no other option anyway .. giving in to the most violent and destructive parts of his own nature that have developed there as a means to persist in the world .. the constant battles that have brought him so much pain now turning into something that he actively seeks out cuz it feels good and familar and safe somehow .. cuz its all he's ever known, violence and war is literally what shaped his entire life, nothing could be more familar to him and there is no hope out there anyway, hashirama and him dont understand each other anymore, there is no way for madara to ever trust him again after siding with the villagers after all, madara couldnt tell him about what he read on the uchiha monument either bc he is convinced that fate itself will keep hashirama from understanding or being able to make any changes .. only decades and decades later when theyre both reborn and engaged in battle once more he tells him about it but by then he is so far gone that even hashirama cant help him anymore. his last words to him before leaving the village are a vow to enjoy fighting him on the way towards his insane plan of ultimate self destruction that is going to almost make the entire world go under with him cuz thats all there is now, violence is inevitable so u might as well revel in it. fighting is almost like a love language to him and hashirama cuz its all theyve ever done, the periods of them developing their friendship as children and madaras time in the village are much shorter in comparison. everything else was just fighting fighting fighting .. "the relief of giving in to destruction" .. its like kafka had madara specifically in mind when he wrote that.

#i love pain and suffering #posts #madara #naruto #long post

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nuclearnerves · 3 years

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INCOMING VAMPIRE AU THOUGHTS

Don't mind me I'm finally getting the ideas I had on this shit out so I can actually go forward with developing it as an AU. It's my usual mixup of fps protags, Gordon Guy and John, but I'm starting with Gordon as the Vampire and Guy as the Vampire Hunter.

absolute beast of a wall of text under the cut

What If Being A Vampire Literally Sucks All The Time Forever like chronic pain sucks. like THAT level of sucks. Like Here's what I was thinking of. Being a vampire isn't just "being alive forever but you need to drink human blood" It's like Oh man I have some lore you look at vampires and their main thing is that they're blood suckers right so lets start with a corpse dead body. cadaver. no longer with us. just some rotting meat. The brain needs oxygen as fuel. The blood supplies the oxygen through blood. The blood is pumped through the heart. The blood is made by your bone marrow. You die. Your heart stops beating Blood stops pumping Brain no longer has oxygen to think marrow stops making blood thats standard! Now, becoming undead, as a vampire, is a little more complicated. The long and short of it is: your body is FIGHTING ACTIVELY to be alive against all odds and wins every time (immortality), but it hurts the whole way

I have the gist of it. It's like. Your heart stops. By all means, you should be dead. but the magic kicks in, and you're still thinking. Your brain is still sending signals to your muscles to move. But using what oxygen to move? whats burning in you? You don't know but you know it's just enough to get to your next meal. So you ferociously eat something, and then find you can't swallow. You can't make saliva. You barely have the energy to chew, and once you DO get something in your stomach, it immediately comes back up. Why can't you feel your pulse? What's going on? You're out of options so you figure you might as well just lie down and die. You're too tired to keep going anyway. So you do, you lie down, and you close your eyes, and you quietly hope that death is as peaceful as sleep. You realize you've actually been moving around without breathing, which makes sense because you can barely flex your diaphragm for more than a shaky wheeze. How are you thinking with such little oxygen? But as you fade from consciousness, you can feel something in you, and it's so upset, it's crying, it's filled with grief, and you instantly can tell it's your skeleton. It's your bones. You're distraught down to your marrow. You're dying. You're dying! Your heart stopped and you have no more blood! You need blood! You need blood to move! To breathe! To think! You try to breath deep again for the voices in your bones, trying to comfort them, to sooth them with the repetitive motion in your lungs, trying to fill yourself with anything but grief, but they keep wailing. We make the blood, our creation, our child, what we put all of our work into is gone! gone! gone! We need it back! Anything! All of it! Find it! Bring it back to us! We're hungry! WE'RE HUNGRY!

and once you find yourself too exhausted to listen, to think, how badly you wish just to die already to cease hearing this wailing, you find your body moving without you. And it's hungry and it's searching and it's crawling on all fours and it misses its beautiful red life that made it feel so full before and it needs it back, and the next thing you know you're desperately grabbing anything with blood in it and shoving it in your mouth in a desperate attempt to sooth this cry for life, you don't want to die, you don't want to die, you worked so hard to keep up this body and craft it and LIVE with it and you're not going to go, and even when you try, even when you try to lay down and die, your body refuses, it takes the reigns, and it keeps up the work itself with or without your help. And it's not until your stomach is full and your teeth are stained and you feel a pulsating burning in your bones that you snap back awake, completely conscious, just fine. You're lucid, you don't feel any more pain. Everything around you is dead and drained and messy and your heart still isn't beating. but you can breathe now and holy shit you guess you literally need to kill to survive and the less you eat and the more you starve yourself the worse it gets when your body finally decides to take recourse.

my idea was like. "the vampires curse is actually stored in the bones, thats why the teeth get so sharp and also theres a connection between blood and bones with the creation via bone marrow" its literally like i was sitting there thinking "no no no, whats it like to be a vampire. what neurosis would you develop. How would you panic? What are common mistakes beginner vampires make" which, by the way, gordon is a beginner vampire

so now you gotta factor, what blood lasts for how long? how long can you go between meals? not only that, but what creatures satisfy the urge? How long can you go avoiding human blood? Does it work like drugs where you develop a resistance to the high, or is it like food where it will keep you moving until you eat again? How the fuck are you gonna get your hands on blood? Can you just eat raw meat? Does that count? and thats where im at lol

OKAY now. now thoughts on beginning scenes of vampire au

So my idea was this Doomguy is a vampire hunter independent and one of his buds says that some freak scared and almost attacked his daughter when she got too close to his old abandoned laboratory up the hill and hes like “he might be… you know… a problem. if you needed a lead” and guys like yeah i fuckin hate the undead ill kill this dude so he busts into old lab space and sees so many dead animals its actually mostly Bones and pelt that hes seeing piles of feathers etc so hes like yeah this is all telltale signs of vampire uhhh hes introduced to gordon SOMEHOW im not totally sure of the details but the working idea i have is guy falls into a trap gordon devised that restrains him suspended in wire or something and gordon like. limps/stumbles into the room and this dude looks haggard he’s breathing heavy, his cheeks are hollow, he’s bug-eyed and shaking while looking at this massive wall of meat in his trap and he bares a bunch of hideous teeth and grits them and looks like hes really struggling with somethin... Like if these dudes don't know each other then Gordon might give in and try to drain Guy, and Guy would absolutely do anything in his power to turn this new vampire into ash, im thinking the inclusion if g-man as a coven leader can fix both issues.

i like the idea of guy falling into gordons trap and gordon thinking about what to do with him before gman shows up and whisks gordon away for a “meeting” while complimenting him on his good work catching the most feared vampire hunter in the country and gman just leaving guy suspended in wires that he has to fight his way out of. Instant situation defuser.

Guy ends up needing to take care of other monsters before going back to Gordon, and he DOES plan to go back to gordon, because no vampire is a good one, especially not one associated with the fucking head of a coven, but next time he sees Gordon, Gordon helps him out of a scrape by attacking and draining a combine who was going to take Guy out or something and escaping before Guy can catch him, or otherwise seeing Gordon do something good with his insane undead powers and like, the third time he meets up with him is when they can actually talk, and Gordons fuckin SO haggard, he’s not even fighting back and he’s even going as far as to say “just make sure theres nothing of me left when you’re done, I don’t want anyone else getting hurt”

Side Note: Guy has a bunch of scarring on his body from dealing with vampires, cops, ghosts, werewolves, anything violent that kills people. I'm playing with the inkling of an idea that he has Divine Blood in him, so that any time something undead bites him or tries to drink his blood, it burns. We'll see.

Side Note 2: now i really like the idea of the combine actually being an organized faction of vampire hunters that are WICKED crooked and exploit people for all their worth in exchange for their “safety” when they kill a vampire They’re essentially loansharks and Guy fucking hates them and hates the name theyve given to vampire hunting

Side Note 3: You've probably noticed that I haven't said anything about John yet! He's in this too. His species is a surprise but I need to get to him later I have an idea for where he came from (Cortana too)

I still need a good reason for Guy to not instantly kill this vampire, if not it's just gonna be "Gordon Freeman escapes the countrys best vampire hunter like a seventh time" every time they meet and they end up being rivals. And it gives Guy enough time to look past the whole "undead monster" thing and start looking at the "Oh this dude figured out how to fight his ridiculous craving for blood in a way more humane than most and is actually staying out of peoples way and keeping to himself. Guess he's not that big of a threat but I still need to keep an eye on him in case he loses it. Turns out he's got a family (Probably Alyx, Eli, Issac and Barney) who's been lookin for him and cares about him as well, don't wanna hurt them". I like the idea of them ending up needing to team up to take out undead together.

And that's what I got so far!!!

#freeguy #gordon freeman #doomguy #vampire au #freeguy117

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dropoutparty · 3 years

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shurara corps ark fix-it concept babeyy!!

under a read more bc this shits long LOL

also this is kinda rambly but whatever

when it comes to shuraras motivations here, maybe he could have been another childhood friend of keroros. idk how they could have been introduced, maybe through pururu or just by meeting in school, but ig that part doesnt rlly matter. what DOES matter though is that shurara decided to tag along with keroro, giroro, zeroro, and pururu on one of their misadventures and he gets hurt during it. BADLY. pururu patches him up, and zeroro apologizes like crazy (since he knows how much this sucks), but shurara is left with a strong dislike of keroro and friends. except for pururu, who he still likes (but im not keeping the crush bc it serves no purpose here) and zeroro who he kinda forgives a little bit but just because he apologized so much. maybe this could have resulted in some major physical injury that affected how he lived for a while, or maybe it spawned a phobia, but either way it left an impact.

putata and mekeke are sent in first with the goal of beating up the platoon a little bit and taking the star because they are the most skilled team. shurara doesnt want the star because of some stupid bandaid, but he wants to take it in order to both deeply hurt keroros pride and also to potentially have his platoon no longer be officially recognized, taking away something that means a lot to keroro. they actually succeed in taking the keron star kinda. when they get back to base, they realize that the star is fake, its just a piece of fabric or paper with tape on it (like what happened in the original arcs ending). this way the shurara corps will be established as an actual threat and also the ending will have actual stakes.

gyororo sends word back to base that the keron star putata and mekeke got was fake, so giruru is sent in to ACTUALLY get the real star, as well as punish the platoon for embarrassing the corps like that. this one plays out kinda like the actual episode (bc im too lazy to think of anything else), but all that matters is that he still ends up captured.

after this, the platoon is like ok this might actually be serious so they go on high alert. one day dororo notices gyororo (who was sent in a little before putata and mekeke to scout the place out and gather info) bc hes the only competent member of the platoon and confronts him, outing his presence to everyone. gyororo fights back but he is also captured in the end.

after the platoon has captured giruru and gyororo , shurara plans to capture and torture a member of the platoon as revenge. before he can do this though, dokuku and nuii decide to rescue giruru and gyororo in secret. nuii serves as a distraction to everyone while dokuku goes to rescue the fellaz. theres some minor conflict but in the end the four of them escape. after that happens, shurara is furious about his subordinates disobeying him and doing things behind his back, but he keeps his goal the same.

im gonna change yukikis powers bc they kinda suck and hes confusing. anyways yukiki isnt actually a snowman, but hes the hat! kinda like in mario odyssey, you put the hat on anyone or anything, and it will immediately be controlled by yukiki. he was an experiment done to try to make a sentient object, and he got his name because he was first tested on a snowman (which also makes it the form hes most comfortable taking). anyways, shurara sends in yukiki to capture someone by taking control of them, but hes defeated somehow and returns empty-handed.

im also gonna change robobos powers a bit. with robobo i dont think that he should have the ability to turn people into electronics because thats dumb and doesnt make any sense, so im gonna give him the ability to just control other machines. he also doesnt have a giant form, and can switch his hands between their magnet form and their drill form. anyways, at this point shurara is furious and decides that he doesnt care about capture anymore, he wants the platoon dead. he decides to send robobo for the job because robots dont have the same margin of error that living things do, or at least theyre supposed to. turns out, they totally do bc robobo also comes back with a failure.

after this, shurara somehow lures the platoon to his base (just like in the anime) but this time everyone is waiting for them there in a big empty room together. shuraras disembodied voice gets a monologue like in the anime and the roof opens, lighting the room up because its a bright spring day. kagege then appears and takes control of the platoons shadows like in the anime! all of the shadows are used to fight the platoon, as well as the corps themselves fighting. its an epic fight, but just when it seems like the platoon is all gonna die, the corps suddenly decide to stop fighting. they all tell the platoon about how shurara has been acting worryingly erratic and obsessive, so they agree to spare the platoons life as long as they confront shurara. the platoon obviously agrees, and theyre taken to a holding area so that shurara thinks that theyve won. they give them this offer because theyre not personally invested in killing these nerds, they dont really care. they ARE worried about shurara though, seeing how obsessed with this hes become.

anyways kagege reports to shurara (in my headcanon hes like shuraras right hand man or something like that) and is like "we beat the platoon, but we didnt kill them. theyre our prisoners right now and were gonna torture them before we let you do the honors" and then shuraras like "poggers!!! thats a great idea!!" and then proceeds to drink his choccy milk and play minedcraft. meanwhile, some of the others are actually patching the platoon up and telling them what to do with shurara. they tell the platoon to try to hurt him as little as possible, and DEFINITELY dont fucking kill him, but just try to knock some sense into him and restrain him or something.

the platoon asks why shurara hates them so much and whoevers patching them up doesnt know, but kagege comes down soon after and tells them shuraras motivations. after this, some understanding can be felt by giroro and dororo (bc they were there, even tho dororo is the only one who remembers shirara like at all) and keroro feels kinda guilty but not too much bc head empty. later, the corps has a big celebration feast and shurara declares that hell painfully kill the platoon bright and early tomorrow. in all the commotion, nuii convinces gyororo to sneak down into the platoons holding cells to bring them some leftover food.

the next day, the platoon is brought to the same room that they fought the corps in, and theyre tied up. shurara is talkin abt how hes gonna kill them all super painfully and stuff but little does he know that the ropes holding the platoon are actually not secure at all (on purpose), so the platoon all escapes their bindings and a fight with shurara ensues. when the platoon is in a tight spot, one of the corps will show up real quick and help them out, kinda like a support in a fighting game. eventually, shurara is tied up and defeated technically.

shurara is whining and stuff and calling the corps a bunch of traitors, but the corps talk to him about how worried they all are about him and that this whole thing has gone too far (you rlly think these goobers are worth all this effort??). shurara says something about how keroro hurt him before, so he wants to hurt him and his platoon back. the corps are like ya i get that but killing them is wayy overkill no pun intended. keroro apologizes and maybe dororo can say something about how keroro also hurt him in the past but hes been able to move past that or whatever and shurara is like bro ur right and he starts crying like da babey he is lmao and there u have it!!! the arcs over and everyone is ok and happy!!! found family trope pog!!!!!!

#keroro gunso #sgt frog #shurara corps #i wont tag anyone lol #if anyone wants to like elaborate on or expand anything here go ham!!#also send it to me bc i wanna read that shit lksdfjlsd #im just sending this out into the ether but if u base somethign off of this idea id like to be credited #as if anyones gonna wanna do that psjdfksdjflk #anyways i hope this is good!! its way better than what we actually got imo but i might be biased

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xumoonhao · 3 years

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alright so....here are my Thoughts on this last scene of episode 10 of beyond evil. ill put it under a read more for those who don't wanna scroll past it all <3

okay...here WE go babes. so, this scene is one of the most powerful scenes (for me, at least) and is something i havent been able to stop thinking about since i watched it. episode 10 had a lot of things going for it; the resolution of ep 9 where dong sik found his sisters body, finding out more about what exactly happened with jin mook, and joo wons character development & subsequent dropping of his newly adopted persona are just a few of the things i can point to for being pivotal, but this last scene is truly the stand out part for me. it just...it holds so much weight to it and tells so much while being quite short.

first off, just before this scene there is a small snippet i couldnt include simply for length purposes, but it is where dong sik (for the first time, if my memory is correct) calls joo won his partner. that in and of itself wouldnt be much to point out, however during this scene there are brief flashbacks to dong siks prior partner and his death which i consider to be impactful because what must dong sik be feeling in that moment? what must he be going through, remembering what happened to his last partner? and it makes me ask why did he call him that? he didnt need to call joo won his partner, but he did. to acknowledge this man who has been nothing but a thorn in his side as a partner...it says a lot about what dong sik feels for joo won despite their misgivings about one another. to me, it shows that hes come to trust him, however slightly, and that he cares for him.

secondly...there is such a level of fear in dong sik for joo won during this scene. when dong sik realizes he's going to go on his own you can see that hes concerned. and why wouldnt he be? im sure hes replaying what happened to his old partner over and over and doesnt want it to happen again. then, we see the fear again when dong sik arrives at the scene and sees all the emergency vehicles there. the small glance he takes into joo wons truck...i imagine he probably thought he could be there dead. dong siks fear in this scene in palpable and its not only for joo won, i know he was worried for sang bae as well, but i think its worth to be noted just how scared he was as a whole, for both people.

thirdly...when dong sik found sang bae? GOD. the way he tries to save him even after joo won tells him that hes passed away, the helpless way he tries to give him chest compressions is heartbreaking because he doesnt want to believe it! he doesnt want to believe that this man who has been there for him since he was a young man is laying there dead. its so painful because, for dong sik, this is another person that he loves that is gone. min jung, his sister, now sang bae...they were all people he loved and cared for and now theyre all dead. ugh...it hurts so damn much to watch this part because you can just tell how badly dong sik wants to save sang bae because really, he was so damn close. im sure he feels horrible; after all, his sisters body was found in his basement and min jung was alive while he was literally standing over where she was while he was searching for her, so i can only imagine what it must be like to be unable to save another person. dong sik has been through too much. i HATE it for him.

moving on from dong sik a little bit, this scene shows a lot about joo won as well. from the first episode we have known that joo won has mysophobia. its been shown more than once and directed at more than one person, but in this scene he pushes all of that aside and jumps into the ocean to save sang bae. he shoves aside his fear to make way for saving this other person, because, at the core of who he is, joo won is a good person. he truly is. beyond that...the way he holds dong sik when he starts crying? that shows so much growth. joo won isnt someone who seems like the type to really comfort someone, but thats exactly what he does with dong sik. he holds him because he knows dong sik doesnt have anyone else there in that moment. theres no one else from the substation there; without joo won dong sik would have been alone and i think what joo won wants in that moment is for dong sik to know that he isnt alone. and with the way dong sik moves his hand up to grasp over joo wons...he knows. he needs him there.

(theres also a Tiny part where the camera cuts back to joo won when dong sik starts trying to save sang bae and i think thats where things start to click for joo won that dong sik isnt the guy he had first impressions about. idk if it means anything but i had to slip it in anyways ehehehe)

as a whole this really shows just how much a citizen of manyang joo won now is; after all, the people of manyang protect each other. thats been such an overarching theme in this show and its been used with joo won a few times before this; the times i remember are when joo won came to dong siks defence at the press conference, and when joo won started choking jin mook when jin mook was choking dong sik. joo won has been brought into manyang effortlessly, and him protecting the other people showcases that really well.

also...one small parallel i noticed is, during the part of joo won holding dong sik, it almost mirrors the brief part we saw of that same thing happening to dong siks parents. its slight and a bit of a reach, but i thought it was a little nod to what happened to them. im not sure...maybe thats just me looking into things too much, but i noticed it anyways.

in conclusion...this scene held a lot of meanings for both dong sik and joo won and how much theyve both developed, not only individually but also together. its just...its a lot.

also did i look to deep at most of these things that are small? you bet i did!!! but those are all my thoughts on this scene...i think i got em all! and i hope this made sense jfgnvkdfr

if you got this far and read all of this i love you. im giving your forehead a lil kiss rn 💖

#theres so much writing here good fucking lord #i just...i had to get this all out. this scene has been in my head rent free since saturday. i havent stopped thinking about it #i watched it so many times. i think ive lost my damn mind #also im pretty sure i included everything i wanted to?? like what more could i have said lmao #this scene hurts and im sad. im so sad about this show rn #i forgot to mention the part at the end where its sang bae singing :((( its ok tho. thats tjust there for pure sadness.#ugh god...thats all tho! i think lmao. if i remember anything else ill make like. a separate lil post or something idk #also sage if youre reading this i LOVE the way you like all my posts where i lose it over beyond evil fdkjndf it always makes me smile!#anni.txt #beyond evil #kdramas

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iridescentides · 3 years

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i watched the ep twice bc i didnt take notes the first time BUT. hsmtmts 2.04 thoughts under the cut

gina first. my favorite part of the episode was when she admitted that she feels out of place living in someone else’s house and that she wanted a bigger part in the play. i was SO worried they were gonna just let her happily sideline herself in a “yay she learned her lesson about not being the center of attention” kind of way bc i would not be able to handle that two seasons in a row. let her be angry!!! she has a lot to be upset about

the gina/carlos conflict was awful bc theyre making carlos unreasonably annoying this season. last season he was nice, he was enthusiastic, not competitive and just rooting for other people. idk why they needed to flip him so drastically to being spoiled, rich, selfish, pushy, and bitchy. and on top of that i have not been vibing with the pieces of dialogue theyve been giving him this season just to score woke points. its so unbearably obvious that even though hes a brown gay character, he was written by a white gay person who thought, on some level, that he was giving the gen z kids the #hashtag representation they wanted. his delivery of every line that screams “remember, im mexican” is so awkward, it doesnt land well, and im begging them to stop. they want so badly to commodify his character and parade him around as a “look how diverse our show is!” thing and im so so sick of it bc you can tell, with all the surface-level pieces of dialogue, that they dont actually care at all

(”look around, theres not a lot of me at this school” we GET it, this show wants to be glee so bad)

im honestly starting to slowly ship rina less and less. in season one i loved seeing someone make gina happy, especially since she had no friends before opening up to ricky. but now its just a whole mess and i wish she would love herself a lil more to realize that its not worth all this stress. he made a choice and no amount of conflicted moments of eye contact is going to fully take that back. im not necessarily against love triangle plots, but i HATE the whole “women wait around hopefully while male character, whose decisions have already hurt multiple people, makes up his mind” bullshit

that being said, gina handled the situation like a CHAMP, im dying over how quickly she was able to mask her pain and make the joke about the twix bar. im love her

we were absolutely ROBBED of an ej/big red performance this episode!!! i am at my LIMIT we better get gaston next week or i will riot

on the ej train, him not getting into duke was extremely predictable. we all kinda saw that coming and knew that would be his main point of growth this season. im glad they didnt wait super long to do it. now please @ writers i am BEGGING you to give my man more screen time than one scene per episode

its very odd that they keep making mr mazzara have emotionally tough conversations with the students. i will do a parallel gifset of those once the season ends. i liked his convo with ej for the most part, but he really didnt have to beat him over the head with the “youre an emotionless robot” thing again. its clear ej is gonna throw himself into av club or whatever (even though at the end of last season that was supposed to be big red?) and discover that he has a lot going for him. because he does, he literally has everything going for him, thats why they had to make his “problem” not knowing himself. bisexual ej caswell ftw

i love the parallels between ej and nini this episode? i think since the beginning ive felt that there was a lot about them under the surface that was similar. it was interesting seeing ej tell nini about duke first, instead of the obvious choice of ashlyn. i wouldve loved to see how that scene wouldve gone with ricky, gina, carlos, or big red though bc each reaction and attempt at comforting him wouldve been so different. i didnt love that nini had to be pulled away from the conversation, but im glad they can still talk to each other after everything that went down. and i love the juxtaposition of ej’s convo with mazzara directly following nini’s convo with miss jenn bc theyre essentially the same.

speaking of, i loved miss jenn in this episode. her stories are always so funny, but i loved seeing her care so much for nini and guide her, like a teacher. i loved how she pointed out that everyone who loves nini just wants her to be happy

im glad nini is leaving yac bc there was no good way to keep that up honestly. but im pretty annoyed that they were so obvious about it? like, they immediately made it the worst place in the world without exploring it very much. the place is super unrealistic, ive never been to drama school but im sure it wouldnt be like that. no creative arts place for KIDS would be so impossibly limiting. plus the weird bluish coloring in comparison to the nice warm tones of the rest of the show was, again, a dead giveaway. why send her to the school at all if it wasnt even gonna matter?

even though im glad nini left yac, im NOT looking forward to the way miss jenn is about to bend over backwards to put her in the play somehow. she plays obvious favorites and im so annoyed

(sidenote: nini just? decided to leave yac without consulting her parents??? ummm)

granted is a very good song, one of my faves so far

ricky deciding to tell nini he wants her to stay was stupid. what did he think that would accomplish? who in their right mind would drop out of a good school for you?

i loved when nini said yac was missing something, and miss jenn said “ricky” and nini said “you.” that was so so sweet and cute

i think the kourtney/howie thing is gonna grow on me. i hate amatonormativity so im not a big fan of them introducing a whole ass character exclusively so kourtney can have a love interest, but i loved the gesture he made of bringing her the pizzas and her flashcards. i feel like kourtneys love language is acts of service, and she was literally this meme when he did that for her:

i liked seeing ashlyn try to be there emotionally for gina! i want more of them together

overall this episode was okay. not enough songs, and i wish they were spreading out the emotional conversations through the season instead of packing them all into literally one episode, but what we did get was pretty good.

after watching the preview i see that next weeks episode is gonna be about carlos’s party, and i love party episodes. BUT i hope that after that ep we finally get an advancement on the north high stuff! i dont give too many fucks about lily, but i wanna see my son asher angel

#me @ myself every time i write one of these: we GET it youre a gina and ej stan #hsmtmts lb #hsmtmts spoilers #txt #waffle words of wisdom

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 4 years

Text

@taiqrowweek

SINCE ALL THE FICS ARE SAD im going to go ahead and make a happy one. (Well... its bullet notes so maybe more of a fic outline?). Can be consider as Free Day or AU Day since its canon divergence

Ive been dying to see a Tai comes to Atlas fic so im making this one a reunion in Atlas fic

Qrow isnt in Atlas when Tai arrives. Hes out on a Amity Tower mission with Clover

Qrow and Clover are actually in the middle of flirting with each other when Qrow gets the call

Its Ruby and shes talking so fast Qrow cant understand a single thing. "Woah Ruby slow down. Whats going on" theres a deep gasping breath and then "DAD IS HERE. DAD IS IN ATLAS"

Qrow is stunned. Tai made it to Atlas?

Clover is thinking about how on Earth he could of gotten into the Kingdom.

Qrow finds out through Yang (she had to take Ruby's phone away since she wouldnt stop screaming) that the girls are waiting for Tai since Ironwood is having Winter personally escort him (Qrow figures that either he got arrested on arrival like they did or that Ironwood wants to know everything Tai knows about Salem despite being removed from the situation since STRQ fell apart)

Clover notifies him that they wont be able to get back to the city for another three hours, and then Qrow tells the girls, who are disappointed but tell him theyll "let Dad know when he gets here"

Most of the way back Clover is trying to get information out of Qrow about what Tai is like. Its both friendly small talk and adding to what Clover knows about this group of children + Qrow. The group is part of Ironwood's inner circle now which makes them important

Qrow briefly wonders how his reception will be. These days hes always the one coming to see Tai, and its 50-50 on if Tai's happy to see Qrow. Qrow considers running away from the encounter entirely but hes trying to be a better man now and that means sobriety and facing his problems. Besides he'll have to see Tai eventually

So lets backtrack a bit. Tai and Qrow used to be a thing wayyyy back in the day. Defining their romantic relationship is complicated. They tried dating before Tai ever got with Raven and it only lasted a few days because they realized the attraction was just sexual so they went back to being teammates who makeout when theyre drunk (thats how they decided to start dating in the first place). So through the early years they were Friends With Benefits. After the dark years of Raven and Summer they became Friends With Benefits That Only Get Together When Theyre Feeling Heartbroken. Its sad sex and half the time one of them is crying. Their friendship is good while the the girls are young. They disagree on a lot of things when it comes to the girls as they get older. That animosity plus arguments about Qrow's espionage job plus Qrow's worsening alcoholism are the reason theyve drifted far apart today. Theyve still been through so much together so that history and Qrow's dedication to being a uncle are the only things holding their friendship together.

So anyways lets get to the good stuff. The reunion:

Tai is actually waiting for Qrow at the garage

The girls are with him because they missed him. Ruby has her arms around him while talking and Yang is standing besides them smiling

Qrow gets a little scared. The fact Tai is waiting for him doesnt bode well. Him and Tai try to have their disagreements when the girls arent present. Qrow thinks its fair to assume that Tai is so absolutely pissed at him that he cannot wait another moment to yell at him. Clover goes "i guess you wont have to hunt him down after all. He mustve really missed you all" and Qrow really hopes thats the reason

Qrow decides to break the ice before it forms by insulting Tai as he's getting out of the truck

"Two and a half continents away and i still cant escape the sight that is your hideous cargo pants" "says the man who's idea of fashion is a 25 year old ripped cape"

As soon as Qrow gets close enough Tai puts his hands on his shoulders, takes a deep breath, and yells "YOU GOT POISONED"

Turns out Tai was just worried about him after Ruby explained what happened on her trek through Mistral

After answering his questions they hug and its the kind of hug where you sway a little bit

For the next few hours Tai yells at Ruby for running away, Tai yells at Qrow for going sober and not telling him, and Qrow goes with Tai to meet Ironwood (and stop Ironwood from asking too many questions. Hes actually soley focused on Salem and he doesnt even ask Tai how he got through his military blockade)

That night in Qrow's room Tai explains to Qrow how he got there. He lied to the girls. Made up some story that had plenty of holes in it. It was Raven. She opened her portal to Yang as far away as she could and Tai landed there. She had come to him after Haven, told him a few things but clearly left most of it out. Tai managed to get her to promise to take him to the group whenever they got to Atlas and had adjusted.

He came for two reasons. 1) to see exactly how close his children were to Salem. 2) to see if he could protect his kids any way he could, knowing they wouldnt back out now. But the reason he was telling Qrow all this (instead of sticking to his if-it-involved-Raven-i-dont-talk-about-it mentality) was because of one of the few things she mentioned about Haven: the disowning.

Tai wanted him to know that despite all their problems that Qrow was still his family. Not because Raven is still legally married to Tai, not because hes Yang's blood uncle, but because Qrow has been apart of Tai's life and chosen family as far back as STRQ.

Qrow's felt like a outsider to Tai ever since (and every time) things got serious with whoever Tai's dating. Qrow felt like a third wheel when Tai was with Raven, and Qrow was to raw from the increasingly strained relationship with Raven to let go of Summer and Tai when they got together. And ever since Qrow has felt like he was there in Tai's life but no longer apart of it. Even after Tai recovered from his depression, Qrow felt like a visitor in the house he still considers his home despite being called "uncle".

And Tai knows Qrow broke ties with Tribe soon after Beacon, and Raven hadnt truely been his sister in 20 years, but to have what you known from literal birth taken from you still hurt. And now Tai knows Qrow isnt drinking so the only way he can cope is by not thinking about it.

So Tai had to tell Qrow what he meant to him

And when he found out about Tyrian he realized Qrow couldve died not knowing Tai still loves him

Tai ends up ranting about all the things he loves about Qrow, about how he regrets that almost every word said to Qrow in the last 15 years has been unkind

Qrow is now confused to if this is a fixing my mistakes kind of thing or a love confession

So he asks

And Tai gets a little sheepish because it was a fixing my mistakes because i love you thing but a little past halfway into his rant he realized hes IN love with Qrow and has been for a while now

And Qrow decides f it. Tai is doing his embarrassed thing Qrow still finds cute even now when theyre middle aged adults getting their first gray hairs. So Qrow gets up from the cheap academy table theyre sitting at and kisses Tai

"After the world stops ending do you wanna try that dating thing again?" "You think we'll make it past one week this time?" "I actually meant since you havent gone on a date in about 15 years." "Oh. Well im pretty sure you havent been on a proper date since Beacon" "Are you gonna take me on a proper date then?" "Yeah"

#hinacu rwby #rwby #taiqrowweek2020 #taiqrow #taiyang xiao long #qrow branwen

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jenna-jayde-the-renagade · 3 years

Text

So my life has gone to shit.. I dont trust anybody anymore, and honest to god I cant help but keep thinking of ways to end it. My mom keeps telling me how to feel about this whole thing, that I should be grateful that i got in finally to see a specialist. Reality is I dont even trust those subhuman animals anymore, and frankly they're gonna have to earn my trust. After 4 fucking years, my life, my future being ruined. My mental health going downhill, all for the second time now. Add on to that, I dont get any meds for the pain so this has pushed me into addiction now for a second time. I've been dehumanized and humiliated, treated with nothing but the utmost disrespect while being stigmatized for being mentally ill, transgender and a recovering addict for most of it. They ignored me for 4 years, my body is damaged, and frankly help just might have came too little too late. I wont just suffer through the next one, the next time this happens I'm gonna end my life, my suffering on my own god damn terms. Atleast I still have control over that..

Fuck the canadian healthcare system. Some days I honestly just want to start selling drugs, and fly to a country where I can just pay to play and get the best care in the god damn world. Cause 4 years now I've been telling them to refer me to a specialist, I've been telling them that it's probably crohns or some other GI issue. They need to do a colonoscopy and a scope to find it, so that's what I would ask for. I would never get it, so i more or less gave up on the healthcare system. They would leave me on the floor thrashing in pain for hours. Treating me like a drug addict in withdrawal when I didnt even have any opioids in my system. I would be lucky if I got an IV for fluids, and even more lucky if they pumped me full of a bunch of over the counter drugs and others that didnt work like gravol, tauridol, buscopan, zofran, and haliperidol. I would tell them each time, that this was the hundredth time they tried gravol, and it doesnt help people when they're screaming in pain. They treat the nausea. Its bullshit because I am in so much pain that its making me nauseous and until they get rid of the pain, the vomiting is just gonna continue. They always treat me like I'm full of shit, and when I turn out to be right and continue puking, thrashing and screaming in pain, they just get angry at the fact they were wrong. Our doctors and nurses are a bunch of sociopathic, apathetic adult children who in my experience take pleasure in watching you suffer. The worse I get the more they smile. They are so stupid, blind almost because if their stupid fucking machine says I'm ok then I guess it's all in my head. They only think that theres nothing wrong with me because theyve only ever done a blood test or an xray. Never ever once have they done a single test that would have found the issue, crohns cant be found just on a blood test. The emergency room doctors think it can be, my family doctor and everybody else I've talked to says otherwise.

On January 1st I was having another flare up, and they shoved me in the psych observation room because they genuinely didnt want to deal with me. They ignore me, and I keep going in because I want help. I dont want to end up relapsing again cause I cant take the god damn pain! But nope, I get treated like a crazy person now.. they did it against my will. And they even tried to take my phone and my keys. I was puking constantly, I needed water to keep hydrated and they left me for 4 hours, locked in, no meds, no help or nothing. So I just cracked.. I had nothing to barf in, to wipe my nose with, or to wipe the cold sweat off me. So I puked in every corner of that room, I puked beside the bed especially because a mop wouldnt fit in there. I pissed in the corner, I would hack up some phlegm and spit it all over the floors and walls, I blew snot rockets on every surface too! After a while some nurse came in and gave me a barf bag. I threw it on the floor and just continued to puke over every hard surface in the place. I was puking every 5 seconds I swear, and the doctor finally came in at 3 hours and 15 minutes. At 3.5 hrs they give me two pills. I straight up tell them there is no point in even taking them. I couldnt even keep water down and these people are stupid enough to make me take pills? Come on. You need to hold it in for atleast an hour to see even the most minimal affects. I was puking every 5 seconds, to the point that I puked before I took the pills, and I puked them out the moment after I swallowed. They had given me a fucking gravol tab, and some Ativan, the latter of which I couldnt even hold under my tongue long enough. I barfed it onto the floor when it was half dissolved. They come back with this clear liquid shit in a shot glass. I swallowed it right after I puked. The liquid burned my insides, and i puked that shit out even quicker. I asked them to give me IV medications for that exact reason, I always ask for IV medications cause its literally a waste of your time and mine to just pump me full of pills when I can't keep them down and they hurt my tummy as they dissolve. They tell me to just "breathe deeply and relax" and to "just try jayden, you gotta try", so then I try, and when they end up being wrong, and I can't take shit. They end up saying that I'm manipulating, that I'm drug seeking or I'm not trying hard enough to make it work. Absolute bullshit, over the course of 4 years I have quite literally told them what to do. I have multiple family members with this disease, and my grandmother was ignored like this too. She told me to ask them for a colonoscopy and a scope, and to ask them to treat the pain, not the nausea cause the pain literally causes the nausea. The sooner the pain is gone the sooner I can be normal and tell them what's going on. Instead I'm left to suffer in the worst pain a human being can feel. I get treated like shit and told it's all in my head. I gave up on getting a diagnosis in year two. I just want to shoot dope whenever the pain comes. Dope atleast takes it away, after all they would be giving me some of the strongest shit they have at the hospital if I was some boomer with a sprained ankle. It would take the pain away. Thats for sure. Being a mentally ill, drug using, autistic tranny they just see that. I get nothing. No help, no answers, not even some relief when my screaming can be heard far and wide.

I want to die right now, and I keep trying to think of a painless way to do it.. buying $400 worth of street fentanyl and slipping into a nice, peaceful opioid coma seems like a wonderful idea right now.. that would end the fucking suffering atleast..

I wont be wearing a colostomy bag. Colostomy bags arent sexy, they are fucking disgusting and you cant just be body positive when you have a fucking bag full of your own shit hanging off you, and your only way of having penetrative sex sewed up permanently and taken away from me. Not like I could even be a decent fuck for anybody at this point anyways. Its painful to shit, let alone anything else. I dont want to give up food either. I love food, food is literally my life and the only way I have to bond with certain people! Like my family for example. Nothing makes me just want to slip.into that coma more then the worry of the future.

Will I be sitting at a family gathering eating bland gluten free, dairy free, all organic 100% vegan fair trade horse shit on a plate while my family actually gets to enjoy the food I used to be able to eat? Moms spaghetti, grandmas meat pies, the baked goods, fresh tomatoes out of my garden and others. A good fucking steak even? Cause honestly a birthday isnt a birthday if I dont have my birthday meal.

I know for a fact my body is damaged from 4 years of suffering. I used to bounce back, now it takes the wind out of my sails for a month.

Needless to say, I just want to fucking die more then anything else. Positivity and anything I love is gone, and all that I have left is knowing that Alberta health services, coast mountain health services, providence health services, and interior health services have all fucked me in the biggest way humanely possible. So thankful for free fucking healthcare!!

You get what you bloody well pay for!!

#thisiswhattranslookslike #girlslikeus #transgender #mtf #trans #transition #hrt #transgender girl #transformation #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronically sick #crohns disease

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floralkittygambler · 3 years

Text

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

#warning long #long post #hazbin critical #very long rant #important #hear victims voices #just sick of how awful people can treat one another and believe this is acceptable #everyone is accountable #toxic fanbase #Toxic shippers #toxic ships #im literally too fucking old for this #forgive the anger but after years and years it gets so cumbersome and tiring #im happy to be the pariah if it means victims actually get heard and helped

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delbeugre · 4 years

Text

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen.....

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid...

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat:

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

#yatesintro #/tw implied violence #/tw death mention #/tw drug use #/tw jail mention

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