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mrs-santoss · 1 year

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Love at First Sight - Neymar Imagine - Chapter Eleven FINAL

Summary:

Y/N is scared to fall in love. She fell once, and it was a nightmare. She can’t risk it again. But, this lucky boy manages to steal her heart, but unfortunately, manages to break it at the same time. What will Y/Ns decisions be?

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , Chapter 8 , Chapter 9 , Chapter 10

I could hear everything, but I was unable to open my eyes. I remember screaming, pain, Neymar's cries, my mom's cries, I could even hear the doctors saying I won't be able to make it. I gather all my strength to open my eyes. I was in a hospital bed and It was dark. The only light was coming from two small lamps on the table in front of me. I felt a hand on top of mine, it was warm. I looked down to see Neymar laying his head next to my hand, holding it loose, indicating he was asleep. I suddenly remembered why I'm here. "MY BABY!" Neymar jumped up and looked at me. He held my arms down while I was trying to get out of bed, panicking. "Y/N, It's okay. Calm down, meu amor. Hey-" "NEY, WHERE IS MY BABY? WHY ISN'T SHE HERE?" I kept yelling and began crying. I was in tremendous pain, but my mother instincts were kicking in, making me forget about the pain. Neymar cupped my cheeks and sat down next to me on the hospital bed. "Bebê, she's okay. She's healthy. The nurses have her, they will bring here in shortly. Calm down, meu amor." Those words worked like an "off" button for me. My baby was okay, she made it. I smiled through the tears, hugging Neymar. He pulled out of the hug quickly to look at me. "Y/N how are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" "Yes, a little. What happened, Ney? How did I end up here?" "You had some complications that obligated us to come here. The labor went okay, there's doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you or our daughter, our Y/D/N." after he said that, I felt a rush of happiness. It is finally over. We hear a knock on the door and the nurse comes in holding the most important creature in the world for us. The second she placed her on me, I felt a radiation on my chest. It's like my daughter was speaking to me, saying that everything is okay and she's safe. It felt like life finally had a meaning. Even though she was born a few hours ago, I can already tell she has Ney's features. I hold her close to my face and smell her. It's crazy how yesterday she was inside of me, and now I'm holding her. There's a knock on the door, Davi comes inside and runs towards me. Neymar's family and my family come in after him. Davi gives me a quick hug and I pat the empty spot next to me, letting him know he can sit there. "Hey, honey. This is your brother, Davi. Hii, Davi!!" "She's so little. What's her name?" Davi asks and pets YD/N's blanket wrapped around her. "Her name is Y/D/N. Do you like it, amor?" "Yes, I do. I will take care of her as a big brother." said Davi, making me and Neymar awe, Ney hugs him.

I interact with all the family members, but I kindly ask them for some quiet time, since the pain was getting worse. Neymar and Davi stayed with me in the room. The doctor came over to check on me and gave me something for the pain. I fell asleep with Ney, Davi and Y/D/N close to me. _____________________________________ "Davi, honey. Can you see from there?" "Yes, Y/N. When does the game start?" "They will come out in a couple of minutes." I was with Davi and Davi's mom and my one year old daughter Y/D/N watching Ney play for Brazil. I sat on the row behind Davi and Carolina. It was a very important game, Brazil was playing for Copa América. It was also my first time bringing our daughter to a game, so I was a bit nervous. "I can't wait for her to grow up and come to watch me play" said Neymar while rocking our baby to sleep. "Me too amor, she will be your biggest fan, after me of course"

The player got on the field, the first thing Neymar did was look for us. When he spotted us, he blew kisses and smiled at us and mouthed " eu te amo". During our conversation before the game, he seemed very nervous about this game, I prayed that this doesn't distract him. Neymar managed to score after 20 minutes. We all jumped on our feet celebrating. During his celebration, Neymar went to the nearest camera and did a heart shape with his hands and kissed his new tattoo.

"Amor, I have a surprise for you, close your eyes"

"Ney, It better not be any of your stupid pranks, don't make me scream because Y/D/N is sleeping" I said to him and followed him to the couch.

"Don't worry, amor. You'll love it, cause I do."

He helped me sit on the couch with my eyes closed and I could feel him sit next to me. He kissed my lips for a second making me jump a little and told me to open my eyes. He had a new tattoo on his arm. There was a pair of eyes, my eyes. He looked at me for my reaction. It made me smile and loved. I kissed his lips and pulled away to look at him. To stare into each other's eyes like we always do. This has to be the most meaningful tattoo. "I love it, Ney. I love you"

I blew a kiss at him and yelled 'I love you' at the top of my lungs, making Y/D/N look at me weirdly but still continue to clap, mimicking everyone's actions. The game went on, until the 120th minute. The other team had managed to score after Ney, tying the score. It all came down to penalties. This has to be the most stressful thing in Neymar's life. I'm not even the one playing and I began to sweat. I know how much this means to him. The other team missed their 5th penalty, Neymar was about to shoot the 5th one. If he scores, we win. The pressure is unreal. He approaches the ball slowly, praying. He kissed the ball before putting it on the ground. And...he scored, Brazil won. I began crying and hugging everyone. Neymar ran to his teammates and celebrated with them. Before the cup ceremony, all the family members of the players went down on the field, including us. Davi took Y/D/N from my arms and ran towards Neymar, me and Carolina followed them. Neymar picked up our daughter kissing her before kissing Davi and hugging both of them tight.

I went to see Neymar play for the first time after I gave birth. I was excited to watch him play after a long pause. Neymar scored a goal a his celebration was the biggest surprise of my life. He untied a white band from his hand, making it flat and showing it to the camera. There was a text, written in black marker saying "Will you be Mrs.Santos?"

"Congratulations, amor. I'm so proud of you" I kissed him and hugged him tightly, Carolina did the same. "Thank you, bebê. I'm so glad you're all here, everyone." "Congratulations, Ney. You did a good job" said Carolina and kissed him on the cheek. Their relationship is so good and healthy, I like that a lot. They never let Davi feel uncomfortable or sad about their situation. "Thank you, honey" said Ney and we let him go back to his teammates to receive the cup after that. During our ride home, it was just me Y/D/N and Ney in the car. Davi and his mom left with his dad. Neymar held my hand during the whole ride, kissing it and we sang at the top of our lungs. I'm so glad I accepted the job. I'm so glad I moved to France. I'm so glad I went to that party. I'm so glad I gave our relationship a second chance. Now, we are the happiest we've ever been. We have our family, our home and a very long future ahead of us. I would've never thought that we would end up here in 3 years, but I wouldn't change a single it about our journey.

I looked at him and smiled. I remembered our first interaction. Even though it's been years, It always managed to make me smile, it always will.

"Hi, I'm Neymar. Nice to meet you!" he says to me, and extends his hand.

"Hello, Neymar. I'm Y/N, the new medical team assistant. Nice to meet you too!" I say back to him and I smile. He can tell my hand is shaking from the emotions, so he gives my hand a light squeeze before he releases it.

"I guess you will be seeing this guy in your office a lot then. Aahahaha!" this other guy says, making everyone laugh and approaches me.

"Hi, I'm Kylian. Nice to meet you, do you speak French?" he shakes my hand and asks.

"Hi, Kylian. Nice to meet you too. Yes, I do." I say the last part in french.

There's one last guy left to meet me from the three of them. As he's reaching to shake my hand. Neymar says to him in a low volume "she's extremely beautiful, oh,my god." in Portuguese. He responds back to him "yes, she is." and then turns his head to me and shakes my hand.

"Hi, I'm Thiago. Nice to meet you" he says to me in a broken English. I shake his hand.

"Hi, Thiago. Nice to meet you too. You can always talk to me in Portuguese." I say back to him and smile, I look at Neymar when I say "Portuguese" because a want to see his reaction of me understanding what he said a few seconds before. He looked shocked and started turning red immediately. Thiago starts laughing and explains the thing to a curious Kylian. The all laugh together aside from Neymar who's still a bit shocked.

A tear rolled down my eye. I didn't even bother to wipe it. It was a tears of joy. Neymar looked at me at smiled, reaching to wipe my tears. I took a hold of his hand again and squeezed it tighter this time. "Ney?" "Yes, amor." "I love you with all my heart, I'm so glad you're a part of my life." "I love you, too, meu amor. I will always be by your side, no matter where, how or when. Thank you for everything you've done for me so far. I promise to always put a smile on your face, even during rainy days, just like in our vows. I will always stare into your eyes, even during my last breath. I love you"

-END-

#neymar #neymar jr #neymar masterlist #neymar x reader #neymar imagines #neymar imagine #masterlist #football masterlist #neymar jr fanfiction #fanfiction #football imagine #football imagines #neymar jr x reader #neymar jr imagines #neymar jr imagine #world cup #fifa

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occult-roommates · 6 months

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A new beginning to an old story

Around five days after their walk in the park, Athena felt ready to invite Akva to her new apartment. The reason it took so long is mostly because she needed to clean it first, and also for Akva to have some free time in between her retail job and flying lessons, but now it was time.

Athena: Tadah! Akva: Oh wow, congratulation on getting your own place. It's actually pretty decent. Athena: Why are you surprised by that? Akva: Cause like, have you seen my apartment? I live with six grown adults and one baby, but we only have two bedrooms but Charlie refuses to share hers except with the baby. We barely have enough space, privacy is like a foreign concept to me now after living like this for more than three years. Athena: I mean, I'm just saying, I only have one bedroom, but I think it's spacious enough I could get at least one roommates. Akva: Also, I was about to ask how you can afford it, but I mean, it's the spice district, most people in the area don't make that much money in the first place. Athena: That's because Paisley pays me good. Like I said, I could have a roommate to make it easier but I don't absolutely need one. Especially since in college I had one that must be from Hell. Like imagine a dude who refuses to shower more than once a week in spite of being a gym rat, would leave his dirty dishes everywhere to the point we had bugs infestation multiple times, and would punch holes into walls on a regular basis. Even had to bail him out of jail after a DUI with the money I needed to pay for a new computer. Oh and also he'd let his used condoms around the apartment as a way to assert dominance over my "beta" ass. Akva: Cause this guy was getting laid???!!!

Anyway, Athena kept showing Akva around the place. It wasn't that decorated to her personality yet, 50% because she couldn't afford it yet, 50% because the landlord wouldn't let her repaint that sickly green or move the furnitures around that much.

Then, the two women sat down on the couch to continue their little chat.

Athena: Fun fact, you can see by the window the exact place where that plane landed in the Myshun river a few years ago. Akva: Oh wow, that's cool. I remember recently, Ralf and I went to an aviation museum that's in southern New York in hope of seeing part of that plane, but turns out it's in North Carolina. We still had fun though, after the museum we went to eat at the shadiest roadside dinner known to man. Athena: Who are you talking about? Akva: Ralf is my new father figure, you should meet him, he is really nice.

Akva then leaned in for a hug. It felt good to finally have a close friend back in town. It felt even more special now that she knew Athena was actually happy and not just pretending. Though, it did messed her up that she literally had no idea what she was going through. Then again, in her defense, she was living on the other side of the country, even if Athena was visibly unhappy, she couldn't have known. Yeah, they did saw each other from time to time, like when they briefly dated which caused Akva to get pregnant, but still, she could have very well hid how she felt.

Akva: And you know, it would feel even more special if instead of introducing you to him as my friend...

Akva tapped her laps and told Athena to sit here, so she did. Now that they were in a more intimade position, step 2.

Akva: I'd introduce you as my girlfriend.

Athena looked at her all red and then, they made out on the couch, as the cameraman panned away as to not creep on them. Maybe their first attempt at dating did not ended up super well, and let's be real, ruined Akva's life for a year, but this time is the right time. Round 2 will be different, round 2 will have a happy ending.

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#the sims 4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 #ts4 simblr #ts4 storytelling #occult roommates #akva singh #athena ramdeen #OcRo s3 #long post

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thebanterboys · 11 months

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I feel like I am not qualified in any way to analyze male relationships but that being said I still wanted to write out some thoughts I have about George and Sapnap’s friendship. Everything is speculation and paraoscial af lol

Reflecting on some of Sapnap’s behavior towards George in the past two Banter uploads and how George & Sapnap were arguing over who Punz prefers more as a friend on stream today, I think Sapnap is a bit jealous of how close George and Karl are. Like we already knew Sapnap was jealous of George and Dream’s fast growing friendship (someone he had already been friends with for YEARS before) but then everything got a lot better when he moved in with Dream. And he also made his own close friend Karl. (This isn’t a romantic thing btw just to clarify)

But then when Karl and George met irl last year they really clicked. And you can kinda see Sapnap being left in the dust during the Lego and chess streams in London where Karl & George are teasing Sapnap for his injured ear. And more recently during Sapnap’s sponsored stream with Genshin Impact in North Carolina you see KNF gallivanting around in the background which I imagine isn’t a rare occurrence. And then you have the times where Sapnap didn’t travel for the Twitch Con Amsterdam convention or the September London trip to record a Banter episode irl with Mr. Beast (I’m pretty sure they mentioned that Sapnap was supposed to go but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) The reason he didn’t go ultimately could be a variety of things like 1) He hates going on planes 2) He felt bad for Dream so he stayed for him or 3) He didn’t wanna be the third wheel to KNF again. Could be a combination of all three and I don’t remember if he ever answered why he didn’t go.

I don’t think Sapnap’s jealousy is really warranted but I think it makes sense that someone might be a little jealous if two of your best friends seem to get along so well without you just like it is with Dream & George.

Now I do want to say that I don’t fully chalk up all of Sapnap’s behavior as that of a jealous friend cause I know he already gets constantly third wheel coded and we know that there are some genuine disagreements he might have with George as we heard in the Airbnb and go-kart accident story but I do believe it’s a bit of an influence on his behavior whenever the Banter boys are all together. I mean he kinda acts jealous at home with Dream & George too you just don’t see it as often. First thing that comes to mind is when Sapnap realized Dream hadn’t gone to his room during Squid Craft just George’s. I also think Dream might have picked up on this and it is why he doesn’t wanna do a DNF solo stream unless Sapnap is out of the house. Dream even said in the meetup vlog that Sapnap is a “crucial part” of the Dream team so he is definitely overly aware of the fandom’s perception of him.

#Banter boys be bantering #sorry for the essay its just been on my mind for the past week #and then I watched George's stream today and the way SNF were talking about Punz reminded me

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mr-gallavich · 2 years

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Analysis of Mickey Milkovich's Bedroom Part Three

HELLO HERE IS PART THREE SORRY ITS BEEN A BUSY FEW DAYS AHHHH

(Warning, mentions of the dreaded scene in 3x12)

ALSO YES PLEASE ADD THEM TO YOUR VAULT OF FICS BECAUSE THIS MAKES ME EMOTIONAL AS WELL AND I COULD MAKE WHOLE SEPERATE POSTS ELABORATING ON PHOTOGRAPHER MICKEY AND TAXIDERMIST IGGY

Also @tidalrace made an extremely good point and honestly yes, that is exactly what I think they wanted us to think with Mickey st first. The poor hygiene plus the violence plus the animal skulls plus the taxidermy plus the satan symbols: yes. I think they wanted us to think Mickey was or was going to become a serial killer/murderer.

But if we are thinking/theorizing within the canon universe and not irl then I think it was Mickey trying to come off as sketchy/edgy/badass thug. I think all of that was a manifestation of Mickey's inner suppressed emo boy.

So first up is here's a box on top of the wardrobe behind Ian:

Again, super blurry, but it says "Jump Boots". Jump boots are typical boot styles for people in the airforce... so I think Mickey had a similar idea to Ian. I think Mickey had a plan to escape T*rry by entering the airforce, but he was just barely 17 when he met Ian so he wasn't eligible yet. Then by the time he was 18 he had been in juvie twice, and then there was no way.

And actually I looked them up and they're Carolina Jump Boots, very popular among Paratroopers.

And this last one for this room isn't particularly a room analysis but I still want to add it in:

Top picture is Mickey's hand tattoo next to T*rry's, and the bottom picture is the poster in his room.

Obviously knuckle tattoos are a theme here and we know Mickey's are sort of iconic. There are a lot of people who headcanon Ian as bring in love with his hand tattoos and honestly I agree.

But what I want you to imagine today is many many years down the road, Mickey and Ian are raising their daughter, she's 16 now. And she's basically a mini Mickey, with the edgy clothing and spikey hair and the attitude and one day after a party with friends she comes home with a shitty knuckle tattoo done by one of her friends with a stick and poke and at first Mickey and Ian are upset. Mickey is a little proud at first but Ian kinda elbows him and mutters that she's only 16 and gonna have that for the rest of her life, and Mickey has to pretend to be upset while Ian scolds her and then she mutters under her breath "I just wanted a tattoo like dad's" and it's quiet for a moment and she says "I didn't think you would be angry"

And then Ian relaxes and he's like "no, I'm not angry. Here let's see them" and on her knuckles is "Fuck U-Up" just like her dad's and Mickey says "they look like shit but they're thing enough we can get them covered professionally".

And then I got screenshots from his room in season 3 so guess what's next 🤪

In the back of these screenshot is a walkie talkie. At this point Mickey and Iggy are both in their dads criminal business and I would be willing to bet money that what these are for.

It starts with Iggy and Mickey coming up with dumb code names for each other that they take very seriously and will get offended about if the other slips up/doesn't use them while on the walkies.

*Mickey handing Iggy a walkie before a job* "Remember we have code names for a reason. Fucking use them"

"You forget code names one time and then you get nagged for the rest of your life-"

Then it goes from just code names to code words then code saying and slowly they begin to develop this code language that only Iggy and Mickey understand and then they start to get ballsy about using it. Using it outside of walkies, using it in every day life, and then one day Iggy talks back to T*rry under his breath using the code words and Mickey's eyes near about pop out of his head and Iggy snaps to look at him, waiting for his brother to rat... but he doesn't. And now they use it all the time, from talking shit about people right in front of them (especially T*rry and his buddies) to "hey can you get some milk while you're at the store".

Mandy is really the only one who cares enough to catch on so one day when they're shootin' the shit in this secret code language Mandy corners them and is like "I know you're using some kind of code bullshit and you're going to teach me it or else" and Mickey and Iggy are like "or else what?" And Mandy is like "or else I won't make dinner for a week. You'll have to make it yourself-" and Mickey scoffs and is like "a week, that's it?" And that was the wrong thing to say cause Mandy crosses her arms and says "for a month" and they're quiet, contemplating it, and then Mandy says "two months-" and they're like "Alright alright" and now all three of them have this secret language they use.

Now for this next screenshot I have two thoughts. At first glance I thought this was a vintage speaker which sprouted its own series of headcanons but I think it's actually a tool box. Now, logically, this is probably for crime but also here's why I think he has a tool box just chilling in his room.

Growing up shit was breaking all the time. Either from testosterone fulled rage or never being replaced even far past their prime, things were breaking in the Milkovich house all the time. And it's not like they could afford to replace things like sinks or toilets or fridges, and sure they could steal things but it would be so much faster and easier for Mickey to just learn how to fix that shit himself.

So when Mickey is about 8 or 9 Iggy gets (steals) him some tools of his own and teaches Mickey the basics and that's it, Mickey is lost. He cannot stop fixing things. Every time something breaks he jumps to fix it, and when there's nothing to fix he'll take things apart just so he can put them back together again.

As Mickey gets older he gets more skill and more tools and in his preteens/early teens he starts building things. Putting things together crudely in an abandoned old building.

Stealing sketchbooks from walmart to fill with ideas of inventions and floor layouts for houses and toy designs and car designs, really anything he can create with his hands.

Hiding these sketchbooks under his mattress, jumping when he hears someone come home and leaping to shove it under the mattress (as carefully as he can to not rip the paper while still trying to be fast), his heart pounding out of his chest as he tries to act natural, feeling as though he's not breathing until at least 10 minutes later.

Next, from this screenshot:

I would like to point out this in the background:

Yes. That is the same taxidermied crocodile head from season 1... in a metal cage.

I could see this going two ways (one funny and one kinda sad):

1) it started as a really dumb joke, like Iggy saw it in someone's trash and brought it home for Mickey's "pet gator" and he never really expected Mickey to put the head in the cage but Mickey wanted to know if it would fit and it did but now he can't figure how to get it out so he just has a taxidermied alligator head in a cage in his bedroom.

2) Mickey had some sort of pet, a hamster or a rat or a ferret (I could 100% see him with a ferret) and while he was in juvy everyone sort of forgot he had it and then it died. It started to stink so Iggy was going to throw it out, cage and everything, but Mandy stopped him. That afternoon Mandy took the pet out of the cage, wrapped it up in a pillow case and put it in a shoe box and then dug a hole in the back yard to bury it. She knew Mickey would be upset when he got out, though he would never admit it, and so she leaves the cage in case he wants to get another one. But when he gets out and hears what happened, he is upset, but instead of getting another he decides he's not getting another pet until he leaves. He keeps the cage as a reminder as to why he can't have a pet. Mandy says it's depressing and tells him either to get another pet or get rid of the cage. He spots the gator head and a light bulb goes of. He puts the alligator head in the cage and is like "Happy?" And she just looks at him before saying something like "this isn't healthy Mickey, let go" and then walks out in a huff.

Now this one is so blurry you can probably not tell what it is but if you rewatch the scene (at your risk of your heart shriveling up in your chest) you will see those are string lights. Mickey has fairy lights in his bedroom, confirmed.

I can see Mickey being the kind of guy to have string lights lining his room or dangling from his bed frames. And whenever Ian tries to comment on them, like "Oh fairy lights aren't too gay but holding my hand is?" Mickey just tells him to fuck off, "You can get the fuck out of my room if you don't like it".

I think I got another part in me so I'll see yall in part 4

#mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #gallavich #shameless #shameless character analysis #character analysis #mickey milkovich character analysis

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fragilevixenfic · 3 years

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My AO3 Fanfiction Links (Current)

“I’ve never really thought about making a “Master List” of my own work but I figured, now is the time to do so. If any of the links are incorrect just let me know. I fix.

Adding in a “keep reading” tab because the list is starting to get long and intense.

Each fic is categorized and easily referenced. I’ll update as I go.

X Files

Series

Into The Shadows

XII (COMPLETE): A serial killer targets victims and leaves behind symbols of his affection -- but who is his intended target and what will it take to discover the truth? (This has a lot of trigger warnings)

Dance In The Dark (ONGOING Chapters 12/? Posted **UPDATED): With the continuing murder trial of Miles, Mulder, Scully, and Max are confronted by the VCU with a case that seems to be mimicking the pattern by their, now infamous, psychopath on trial.

Echoes and Whispers

Parallel (COMPLETE): The aftermath of the three little words that Mulder says to Scully in his hospital bed after being rescued from the Queen Anne as it re-appeared in the Bermuda Triangle...and the strange connection that Scully starts to feel to a memory that Scully couldn't possibly have.

Only The Night (ONGOING): Mulder and Scully begin their undercover assignment as an engaged couple with the assistance of Skinner at the University of Maryland to catch a serial rapist, putting their newly formed physical bond to the test in this sequel to “Parallel”.

Casefics

Falling Away (COMPLETE): Kersh’s assignment partially splits the team as Scully goes undercover under the watchful eye of Mulder as they both assist on an operation with SWAT and FBI personnel. (A gift for Greta)

Veritas se revēlet (COMPLETE): (The title is roughly translated to let the truth be revealed in Latin) An impromptu wild goose chase leads Mulder and Scully to the drifts of a winter-locked Tonopah, Nevada—where a little more than the embodiment of Mulder’s imagination takes shape between the walls of the Mizpah Hotel in the dead of winter. (A gift for @monikafilefan)

She Walks at Night (COMPLETE): Mulder’s knack for getting himself and Scully into sticky situations leads them to the heart of NOLA at the tail end of Hurricane season after barely surviving a Floridian storm—to investigate a rumor of a notable Voodoo Queen and missing girls trying to bring her back. (A gift for @starbuck09256)

Intrigues in the Dark (COMPLETE): A string of suicides leads Mulder and Scully to a sleepy, coastal town in Oregon for the second time—on their return to The X File—as tensions run high and nothing is as it seems. (A gift for @admiralty-xfd)

By Light, Unseen (COMPLETE): A series of re-opened cold case murders with one link…they’d been drained of every drop of blood and wore the same, haunting stare toward the sky with their lips aghast as if they were still screaming. (A gift for @serahsanguine)

Post-Series

A House is Not a Home (COMPLETE): The mere thought of raising a newborn in a world full of horrors has every part of Scully’s emotional irrationality over firing on a chilly, winter evening. Mulder wants nothing more than to show her that not everything is gray and grim. (for @danceswithcybermen)

Remember the Reason (COMPLETE): Post Series (Part 1 of the “Little Redhead Series”). Mulder and Scully already knew that life with a newborn would be difficult but the first Christmas with their two-month-old daughter throws every curveball…some worse than others, some more humorous. (For @underworldobsessed)

Confectioners Sugar & Snow Drifts (COMPLETE): Post Series (Part 2 of the “Little Redhead Series”). Mulder spends the morning bonding with Eliana by having a Christmas baking session while Scully is out shopping for gifts. Messes, mayhem, and a healthy dose of laughter ensue. No moment is ever dull as the snow falls outside.

The Easter Bunny was a Fox (COMPLETE): Post Series (Part 3 of the “Little Redhead” Series). Scully has to pick up Bill, Tara, and a couple of surprise family from the airport, leaving Mulder alone with their 6-year-old daughter, Eliana, on Easter Morning. All she has for him are curiosities as Easter’s non-Christian ideology unfolds before her eyes…creating the most unique bonding opportunity for a father and his daughter. (For Flicked_Switch)

Angst/UST/RST

Caught in the Rain (COMPLETE): A dark, rainy night leads Mulder and Scully to a hole in the wall bar where glasses of Scotch and unresolved tension is re-visited.

Or We Can Burn (COMPLETE): Post Never Again - expansion and continuation of the aftermath surrounding what Scully has been hiding from Mulder.

It Lingers (COMPLETE): The aftermath of trauma and the lingering effects of Mulder’s risky attempt to recover the truth about Samantha’s abduction leads to a revelation from Scully about her own coping mechanisms and flashes into a past she doesn’t fully remember...and the path to which they lead thereafter. (For @red2007)

Fluff/Humor

Nervous Laughter (COMPLETE): It’s been two full days since their tender, albeit brief, moment at the stroke of midnight and Mulder decides to be brave and methodical by inviting Scully over for a little movie and popcorn night for a film that has stayed locked in his mind as her favorite—The Exorcist. (This is a gift for @rationalcashew)

Lamplight & Shooting Stars (COMPLETE): It’s Spring-time in DC and spontaneous, mutually taken vacation time has become a personal mission of Mulder’s to surprise Scully with so much more than an escape from their norm—and the unseasonable, uncomfortable city heat. (For @underworldobsessed)

Into the Nightlife (ONGOING): A little paid vacation time never hurt anyone, right? (Not giving anything away this time)

Smut

Insomniac (COMPLETE): Another lonely, sleepless night, another dingy motel, and another town that isn’t home for Mulder…but, something changed, with the last gasp of the air conditioner as his partner, and best friend, chooses to walk through the adjoining door. (Expanded writing exercise)

Vultus in Speculo (COMPLETE): The last of the paperwork on the Strickland case has been finalized and filed and Scully goes off for a drink at a known FBI watering hole. Mulder is invited but doesn’t show up until after Scully is halfway through a drink—giving him an opening to inquire about a whole lot more than her flirtations with the Sheriff in the booth of a rooftop bar. (written for @msrheadcanon

Phosphorescence (COMPLETE): Still reeling from their experience in North Carolina, Mulder and Scully take a much-needed excursion to the coast of Oregon, where a flicker of light becomes more than a curiosity in the middle of the night. (Written for @anniexami)

The Darker Side of Love (COMPLETE): Mulder does not want to talk but he does not want Scully to leave, either. (This is for the MSR fanzine vol 3)

Ficlets/Drabbles/Short Prompt Collection

Affirmations and Protestations: “Fluff and Angst” Prompts (ONGOING):

Chapter 1 - "You Weren't Supposed to Hear That" - prompt #5, 61, 77

Chapter 2 - "Shout!" - prompt #19, 61 (From Valerie)

Chapter 3 - "Litost" - prompt #1, 85, 97 (From Monika)

Chapter 4 - "Ad Infinitum" - prompt #42 (From Minuete)

Chapter 5 - "Brick" - prompt - After Scully calls Mulder in the ep Emily, she asks him to bring her some things from home. Her journal falls to the floor and Mulder sees some things written about him that she has never allowed him to know. (from Monika)

Chapter 6 - "I'd rather be oblivious" - prompt #46 (from Annie)

Criminal Minds

Angst/UST/RST

Dulce Periculum (COMPLETE): Maxine and Spencer have continued seeing each other, in spite of the interference brought to the surface by Cat Adams. Spencer continues to work closely with the BAU after it nearly dismantled, with signature members scattering to the winds, leaving behind only a few, including himself, to keep working on their caseload. After a long, intense case, Spencer returns home to a little more than a can of worms. (A gift for an anonymous prompter)

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Angst/UST/RST

Chasing your Silhouette (COMPLETE): They’d learned each other’s quirks and intricacies on the job—but when did it become over the line? When did physicality become a detriment to them once they’ve taken off their shields? When did they realize the line in the sand no longer existed? (This is meant to take place a couple weeks after “Zebras” – had to assume a timeline, I don’t remember actual dates)

Paternity Redux - Time Just Stopped (COMPLETE): Her strength has always been immeasurable—but sometimes, something has to give and a string breaks. Nothing will ever be the same.“I’m trying my best, that is enough.” - UnknownThis is part of a challenge, to right a series of wrongs in an episode that has perpetrated many a discussion of “What Could Have Been”. WriterKC, Liv.Einziger, JustAnotherBookWorm78, MrsWellRested, EORocks, AlexisDawn, ChriskaPeach, and I have stepped up to the plate to do just that.

Oblivion (ONGOING 9/? Chapters posted ***UPDATED***): The undercover operation in Oregon takes an unexpected, unpleasant turn for Olivia Benson as an injury turns her life, and career, upside-down leaving her with pieces of her memory scattered in the wind.

Humor

Unlock the Door (TENTATIVELY COMPLETE 2/2): Olivia returns home from a celebratory series of shots with Kim Greylek and lets Elliot Stabler hear a little more than she ever intended to in the aftermath.

Series

Polaroids and Promises (COMPLETE): The Special Victims Unit has undergone an enormous amount of changes in the past six months, to the point that they are drastically undermanned—until a transfer from the 13th precinct brings new life, and a little chaos, to the team. Will her addition prove to be a permanent shift or a flash in the pan?

Discarded Dignity (COMPLETE): Elora continues to gain much-needed confidence as a member of the Special Victims Unit but an arrival booked for trespassing, assaulting an officer, and disorderly throws her progress into chaos as her past jumps to the surface. Will she be able to look beyond the misstep to solve one of the most convoluted cases she’s faced?

Contract Corruption (ONGOING 10/?): Dickie Stabler and Justin Andrisani are in over their heads--and the members of SVU and the Organized Crime task force must come together in order to set things right.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Organized Crime Crossover

Series

Words of love, words of lies, words of loss

Age of Regret (COMPLETE): Elliot Stabler has never been good with words but ten years and a double on the rocks in a lonely room will make a man pour his heart out…in any way that he can.

Infidelis (COMPLETE): Elliot had been haunted by too many ghosts; expectations, fantasies, and a promise that he knew should never be kept. It was time to lay them all to rest. “I do not regret you…I regret what you did to me.” - Unknown

#My fics #X Files #Criminal Minds #this is ongoing #someday soon #this will have SVU on it #all the fics #Law and Order: Special Victims Unit #yes I have more #no they are not all done #I'm a little crazy #Organized Crime #crossover

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riathedreamer · 3 years

Text

Zero is Null

A discussion of Zero’s love-hate-relationship with RvB and struggling independence; including a hotdog too big for the bun, tragic backstories, a single bow-chicka-bow-wow, and a cookie at the very end.

Welcome to what will be a lot of text. Basically, it will explore why Zero fails as an RvB (with emphasis on RvB) season. I will not be the first one to bring forth some of the points, and I promise to be fair and civil and fun. This isn’t supposed to be a piece of hate – in fact, I’m writing this because I love Red vs. Blue.

Okay, first of all, to increase your fun – take a guess on just how much of Zero is spent on fight scenes. You see, I’ve calculated the exact amount, and I will reveal it later, but for now, take a guess and remember the number. Maybe you are the winner!

Alright, time to share my thoughts. Wait! Since I suffer from anxiety and have this one annoying voice pretending to be all those critical statements my opinion could be met with, let’s give it an actual voice and address the points throughout this review.

“Why would I care about your opinion, Ria?” – I don’t know, you’re the one who clicked Read More.

“Your opinion doesn’t matter!” – Of course, it doesn’t! Geez. Do you think your opinion matters, though? Listen, we’re on Tumblr, the actual equivalent of screaming into the void. And it’s fun, too!

“If you don’t like it, don’t watch!” - *activates Uno Reverse Card* “You can’t talk about something you haven’t watched!”

“You’re just a Hater” – Actually, this is a point I’ll come back to. Like a cliffhanger. Also, at the end of this, there’ll be a cookie. But this will also include me talking about the stuff I like, because, surprise, Zero is not without talent!

“You just don’t like it because the Reds and Blues aren’t in it!” – Actually, that’s a good point, so instead, this review will start with a sole focus on Zero and discuss the problem that lies within that story. Then we can address why the lack of OG cast is understandable and problematic and weird.

But first! Backstory.

When the first 5 second teaser dropped back in spring (you know, when we were young and innocent and the world didn’t feel like an apocalyptic movie yet), I held onto that one image of what I thought (hoped) to be Grif and Simmons in the sunset, hopefully addressing Grif’s hateglue arc, but boy was I wrong because a) that’s not Simmons, that’s Sarge, and b) the image was from a PSA since the Reds are not in Zero.

Actual face-reveal of me below:

Admittedly, when I heard that the Reds and Blues were not going to be the main characters (or even show up), it felt like a gut punch. However, I actually found myself getting excited due to the creators’ hype. I want to praise them for this. It’s been a while since an RvB season was talked so much ABOUT before its release; it had advertisements, it had creators and voice-actors talking about it. Please. More of that in the future. Their passion rubbed off on me, and that deserves recognition. So it pains me that this was clearly a passion-project, and then when I gave it a try, I didn’t want to touch it again for weeks.

Here’s the thing. I cannot whole-heartedly say that Zero is bad. It’s not gonna melt your eyes. It’s not even so-bad-it’s-good. For me, it’s meh. It’s a Saturday-morning-cartoon aimed for a younger audience with a rushed plot and clichéd characters. The problem is that it calls itself RvB, and with that title comes something to live up to – but more importantly, something to continue.

My main issue is that Zero forces its story into existence by ignoring established content rather than adjusting to it. Let’s call this for the hotdog-too-big-for-the-bun syndrome solely for the sake of the bow-chicka-bow-wow that’s coming now. Bow-chicka-bow-wow. Many of the separate issues I will dive into all add to this hotdog-issue, so I will scream “Hotdog!” whenever this is the case so we can all keep track of my argument.

You can continue the story of Red vs. Blue without the Reds and Blues. While that would personally crush my heart, it can be done. There’s a story of Red vs. Blue that can be continued. The world can be expanded, the previous actions of the Reds and Blues can be explored from another angle.

So.

How does Zero do this? It doesn’t.

I just want to make it clear that new elements can definitely be added when it comes to worldbuilding. That’s literally the point of sequels. But Zero’s settings are presented with so little grace and with no connection to previously established worldbuilding. We get Alliance of Defense and GLASS thrown in our face as very big important organizations – yet we’ve never heard of them before. A big central plot point of RvB is the UNSC and Project Freelancers, and those were introduced naturally with the plot. We already have big established intergalactic organizations. What is AOD’s connection with those? We aren’t told. We are just told they exist and expected to accept it, no questions asked. If this was a whole new world and story – fine. But when you need to build on an already established worldbuilding, you need more grace than this. Chorus was a whole new setting, but it was explained, and it was connected to the previous plot. Same with Iris. Same with Desert Gulch. In Zero, it feels lazy. It feels forced. These organizations are just there because the story is built around them (HOTDOG).

This vagueness when it comes to wordbuilding is also reflected in the settings - we have a desert, a training base, a lab, temples, Tucker’s workplace, and we do not know if all those are set place on the same planet. If that is the case, what is this planet’s relationship with Chorus? Is it Earth? And most importantly, what is the deal with the temples? Why are they connected to Tucker’s sword if it isn’t the same planet. Are they made by the same aliens? Are people okay with this? Why haven’t these temples been explored before? Chorus makes sure to establish this, while Zero doesn’t, adding to a growing amount of confusion.

Okay, so no connection with previous worldbuilding. What about characters? I mean, we got Wash and Carolina and Tucker! So we have RvB characters, it gotta be RvB! Technically – yeah. But it feels dirty. These three characters are not here to be characters. They are here to be props to the new cast. They are not given any development. Their presence isn’t even that important, and if this was a whole new show, they could easily have been replaced with an unknown face. Worst of all, they feel miswritten.

Carolina and Wash are working at a new military organization? Leaving the Reds and Blues behind? To help people? First of all, fucking bad idea, Carolina, the last time you left the Reds and Blues alone, they changed the timeline. But most importantly – Carolina and Wash just joined this new super elite military organization? After being mistreated and manipulated by such an organization in the past?

Carolina is there to introduce the characters. That’s it. We are force-fed their personality by having her literally read out loud their personality. There is no gentle introduction to the new cast. We are not allowed to get to know them naturally. Why show when you can tell, huh? That’s Carolina’s role. That’s why she is there. To introduce the cast and explain their story. That’s it. (HOTDOG).

How about Wash? He is there to get beat up and be a damsel in distress so that the new cast has a reason to explore the plot. Oh, and that brain damage that was the consequence of previous seasons – gone now. The guy who literally has trauma from having an AI explode inside his head is fine with having a computer inserted into it instead. Because that’s needed. To explore his brain damage wouldn’t work now when his role is to be a prop to lure the new cast for one episode and then be put onto the bench for the rest of the runtime (HOTDOG).

And Tucker – he is there to die for a second and have his sword taken from him. That’s literally it. And for the few moments he is there, he feels like old super flirty Tucker, which erases the character development he went through in previous seasons. Okay, so Tucker dies, and then not dies, and then he is put on the bench with Wash where they can sit and talk or whatever (‘cause holy shit, the new cast is not allowed to that), because he isn’t important. The sword is. Tucker is just a prop, even more than his sword is (HOTDOG).

Damn. Wash gets beat up. Tucker gets beat up. Dies. Gets his sword taken away. Almost seems like a Red’s wet dream. Sorry not sorry, Blues, you were done dirty.

So there are miswritten old characters. Even worse is the retconning. The plot needs a “normal” Wash, so, bam, magic computer solution. Never mind Wash’s trauma and character traits. Never mind the logic of the new worldbuilding which also includes a character suffering for years to heal an illness. But the brain damage that was such a big consequence that it became the main part of the plot of the last two seasons – gone. I mean, a gunshot to the head can be healed by CPR. That’s canon. But no one gave Wash CPR so it’s a big thing, okay. It was canonically a big thing, and Zero erased that. This is not me saying that a Cerebral Enhancer couldn’t work in the RvB universe. Imagine it being done right. Wash struggling with the choice of getting used to his disability or accepting the possibility of help - at the cost of reliving his trauma. The struggle between what to choose - what should he choose when he wants to help as many as possible, the sacrifices he thinks he has to make, the way it could have been used as a part of his character growth. But in Zero, the enhancer isn’t a part of Wash’s character. It’s there so the story can work without having to deal with the previous plot’s consequence (HOTDOG).

Same with the sword thing. They sorta explain it by having Tucker flatline, but it’s weak. Honestly, I find it sorta offensive. What about Locus’ sword as well? It’s twisting previous lore to make the new plot work (HOTDOG). (Also, are we not gonna talk about the ultimate power being Spencer Porkensenson’s helmet? Have the writers forgotten Spencer Porkensenson? Have we as a community forgotten Spencer Porkensenson?)

If you have Red vs. Blue in your title, you cannot ignore what you inherit from it. You need to respect the worldbuilding, the established characters, and the previous plot. Zero does not do this.

Let’s talk about the Triplets. No, really, let’s do it. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about them before, because season 14 was a mixed bag for me (that I have now learned to appreciate. Thank you, Zero.) because I have heart at the size of the Grinch and can only love a few characters at a time, and that did not include the Triplets. Can’t even remember their names. Well, I can, but I can’t for the love of me remember which state is which, and my tongue is twisted every time I try to say Ohio, Iowa, and Idaho, and I know it’s on purpose. I know it is. And it got me good. That being said, the fandom actually embraced them really, really well! Seriously, I’ve seen more content for the Triplets than for Zero as a whole.

Why talk about the Triplets? (Was Iowa the lesbian? Or was it Ohio? Fuck.) Because like Zero, they introduced new characters with a story of their own. The Reds and Blues didn’t play a role. But here’s what I feel like the Triplets got right. They didn’t change the settings to force their narrative. They used stuff already established (Project Freelancer), added their own story as a continuation of that. They even included old characters in the beginning (Wash and some other Freelancers) but it felt natural and it didn’t feel like it happened at the expense of the old characters. Wash’s writing felt natural, and his presence wasn’t needed to tell these new character’s stories. He wasn’t a prop to them. He was there to establish the setting and to establish the relationship with these new characters, and then he and the other familiar faces (helmets??) left, and we as the viewers were left with these new characters. And the new characters told their own story by themselves. It felt like, hey, here’s something you know – remember Mother of Invention, and remember Wash’ lower rank, but now, try to imagine being even lower rank than him, aren’t you curious about those fates? Now let’s hear their story! It was new, it was something else, but it didn’t wreck what came before it, and it stayed true to the classic vibes of RvB.

As I said before, the hotdog-issue is my biggest problem with Zero. It infuriates me. I will return to this. But there are more issues, even if we try to look past the title-related problems.

If we try to imagine Zero as its own story and universe (as it should be, in my opinion), it still earns the meh review from me.

These isolated issues include awkwardness, the writing, lack of self-awareness, and pacing. First of all, holy shit, this is a tell, don’t show. Nothing is subtle, nothing is allowed to develop. It’s like the show thinks you are six years old with an attention span of a goldfish. You are not just led by the hand – they have literally pulled off your arm by the end of the show. We are force-fed every bit of information, every bit of personality from these new characters.

The voice-acting is a mixed bag for me. Sometimes it’s pretty good, sometimes it’s not. Some of the problems can definitely be blamed on the dialogue that you can only do so much with. It’s not good. I can’t remember any good jokes (the one joke I really appreciate was the cast on armor, and that was freaking visual humor. That was so RvB. Kudos to that. It was fun. More of that, please.), and RvB is known for having memorably good lines. This is a show built on good, clever, funny dialogue. Zero does not deliver. You have to sit through clichéd lines – “You’re not my dad”, “I trusted you”, “Come with me”, “It can’t be!”, “She’s way too powerful”, and “We have to do this together” – performed unironically. I cringed more than I laughed. Worst thing is that Zero could be a good parody. Sometimes, it feels like it is. One-dimensional characters, a villain wanting ‘the ultimate power’, very overpowered characters, bad one-liners, etc. But Zero takes itself seriously, and I was one of the people rooting for Jax to show up at the end and yell “Cut”. That would have been a funny-as-fuck twist. A spin-off parody. If I can’t have “Sarge the Movie”, I would have taken that and loved it. I would have forgiven everything. “We put so much info into finding that power, but we had no idea what it was” is really a line in the finale, and I cannot believe this is real in a show that somehow still tries to present itself as serious. What a plot.

We have to talk about pacing. God, first of all it should be stated that RvB is a mess when it comes to pacing. I honestly get what they were going for. Sometimes, RvB has come across as a bit boring when you get three episodes stretched over three weeks without much going on. I know season 11 did not have the warmest welcome because it was seen as boring until the finale. But when you see season 11 as a whole, as a movie, as a part of a trilogy, it works so well. Zero is more focused on being episodic. They want something to happen all the time so we will stay tuned. The thing that will happen – a fight. Oh god. The fight scenes.

I have done the math. I have run the numbers. I deserve a freaking cookie for this. Are you ready?

If you put all the episodes together, you have a runtime of 106 minutes. HOWEVER, with the introduction of credits in every episode, you gotta account for this. Removing the credits, this gives us 94 minutes of actual runtime. Out of that, 45 minutes are dedicated to fight scenes. That means 48% of the show is fight scenes.

If I wanted that many fight scenes, I’d watch Death Battle. Except the actual RvB Death Battle episode has a runtime of 20 minutes, and out of that, 5 minutes is dedicated to the actual battle. For the people who hate math – that’s 25% of the actual runtime.

RvB Zero has more fight scenes than a show called Death Battle. Take that in.

The pace suffers from this. Where’s the time to explore the characters? Where’s the time for good dialogue? All I can think of is this:

I get that RvB is a show that’s literally making fun of itself by acknowledging all their characters do is stand around and talk. I get that you want characters to do more than that. But for the love of Church, would it kill the new characters to stand around and talk? For just a minute? Stop fighting, I am begging you, stop fighting! Am I a pacifist now? Am I purple? Have I joined Doc’s team? What has Zero done to me?!

The good thing though is that fight scenes are very good. They’re entertaining. However, they seem to deconstruct themselves when we need to get a fight scene in every episode. Usually, the few fight scenes in an RvB season were in some of the most climatic episodes. In Zero, I can hardly keep up with the pace because they won’t stop moving. Fight scenes aren’t plot. They aren’t character development. You need more than just fight scenes. They entertain, but there’s a limit to that.

Noël Wiggins, the co-writer, stated the inspiration was a Saturday-morning cartoon. They nailed that vibe. If that was their goal, hurray, they have accomplished something! Because of the poor plot and constant fight scenes, it feels like you could just switch on the TV and drop in at any moment and let yourself be entertained by the cool and colorful soldiers punching and kicking each other. I will admit that the fight scenes entertained me. But they don’t make it a good season.

If I were the six-year-old with the attention span of a goldfish that the show believes I am, I honestly would enjoy it. The stiff dialogue and the constant tell-don’t-show makes you feel like an audience that’s not supposed to do anything else but admire the flashy fight scenes. I miss the cleverness of RvB. I miss the characters I get to connect with as I see them grow.

I miss the tone of RvB. Because this isn’t RvB to me.

It’s not that RvB hasn’t changed its tone before. Holy shit, I sorta do want to experience the absolute shock the RvB fandom went through when s6 aired and they were given new characters and serious plot. I would have loved to experience that, but I was too busy being ten years old. The Freelancers seasons also introduced a new tone and more fight scenes with very talented fighters compared to the Blood Gulch gang, but a balance was kept by having half of the season still revolving around the Reds and Blues. But Zero – Zero is so much change. And it’s on purpose. At least this has been made very clear from the beginning.

They constantly seem to appeal to new fans, rather than be directed towards older fans of the show. If you want an entirely new audience with a season with a new cast, new worldbuilding, and new tone, I’m confused as to why they don’t just make a new show. The hotdog-problem begs for this solution. This story and environment and characters feel so out of touch with the original RvB, that with a few rewrites and lack of Halo-armor, it could just be a new show. Problem solved.

If not this, then present it as a spin-off. In all ways, it feels like a spin-off (again, see everything marked HOTDOG). But the creators refuse to do this, and I don’t understand why. I could forgive many of these issues, had they officially separated themselves from canon.

Ah, what’s the idiom? You can’t both swallow and blow? (You can hear the Bow-chicka-bow-wow in the distance). Something about eating cake and having it. Forgive me, English isn’t my native language. POINT IS why are you calling yourself RvB while actively fighting against the core essence of RvB? In my humble opinion, you can’t be both. Marketing it as a spin-off would have granted it some defense when changing, well, literally everything, and I just, would someone please properly describe why it isn’t a spin-off? Isn’t this season marked by its association with the plot of RvB rather than a continuation of it? Zero presenting itself as not a spinoff feels like a toddler clinging to the hem of its mother’s dress while forcefully running away from her, ripping the dress in the process.

When they do connect with the original RvB, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. When they let Carolina, Wash, and Tucker appear for a moment, it feels like luring viewers in with the RvB title. Look at me. Look at me! I’m not saying this is the case. I say that it gives me the annoying vibes of being lured, rather than letting the characters be a part of the show for their own development, rather than having RvB in the title to continue its story. I should not be getting these vibes at all. But I am.

If you want to use RvB in the title, something from the core of RvB needs to be embraced. Things can be changed. They should. Something new should be brought in. But there’s a limit to how much you can change and replace and twist until it would have been better with an original show. As a season of RvB, it should tell the story of Red vs. Blue.

From my perspective, Zero fails to do so.

It pains me that the old cast has been replaced, but as stated earlier, a season could have worked without them. However, I do not like the take that one should be excited about all the new characters. That it isn’t a big thing that the OG cast got replaced. That we should just deal with it. Just, try to imagine another show suddenly replacing the main characters with characters we’ve never met before. Imagine RWBY suddenly only focusing on a new team of huntresses with the previous main characters reduced to an Easter Egg presence, or Camp Camp suddenly being about a new team of campers, no warning given. Can you imagine the outcry? So maybe let’s agree that a replacement of the main cast is a big thing and should be addressed and it’s valid to be upset about this change.

Could Zero have worked? It’s hard to answer this. How can I accept something as RvB if the season actively pushes away the core of RvB aside for an isolated story that could have been told in any other media? As a spinoff, I could have ignored it. To enjoy Zero, I have to fully separate it from RvB in my mind, and then it’s alright. S’not good. But it’s not bad. It’s entertaining enough. I really ended up liking Raymond and Tiny, and there were a few good jokes, and the fight scenes were admirable (but too much) and I love the creators’ passion. But it’s not RvB. I also wish that the new characters had been attached to previous worldbuilding, for example soldiers on Chorus or agents from Project Freelancer. That way we could build on familiar lore which would have decreased the confusion and added a much needed connection with the previous seasons of RvB.

God, the anxious voice is back (by the way, it sounds like Tutter from “Bear in the Blue House”).

“You’re racist” – I hope not. Literally, I do not want to be. Tell me if I’ve ever crossed some lines, because I swear, that is not my intention, I will apologize and most of all, change and do better. I included this because I’ve seen this take thrown around in the big ugly mess that is the fandom clashes regarding Zero. And racism is problem within RT community (this includes AH and RvB, sorry, I just use RT as an umbrella term for the latter), and I’m not saying it hasn’t been a problem with this season. Writers should never be harassed, and never-fucking-ever because of their skin color, and voice actors shouldn’t be treated like they are responsible for the choices of the show. But I was legit nervous to post this review, and I hope it’s been factual without feeling like personal attacks on the creators because that has never been my intention. I was delighted to hear about the diversity behind this project, and Torrian’s passion legit blew me away because it’s been a while since I’ve seen that for an RvB project. I’d hoped for it to be good, and when I feel disappointed, it’s for the reasons stated in this analysis. That said, Zero is made by a diverse cast and it’s made with love, and both of those things are so, so great, but it does not mean that Zero cannot be criticized. It can, and it should. It’s a product, just like all the other seasons, and fans are allowed to discuss it – both what they loved, and both what they found troublesome. And to repeat previous points, and be respectful, always, fuck racists, and never-fucking-ever harass the staff behind a season, what the fuck is wrong with you if you do this.

“Don’t you get it, it’s different because it’s trying something new!” – Hey, remember the philosophical question: if you replace all the parts of a ship one-by-one, is it still the same ship when you’re done? If it doesn’t include the Reds and Blues, if it ignores previous plot, if the old characters feel miswritten, if it values animation over dialogue, if it values fight scenes over comedy, if it wants to be Fast and Furious instead of Red vs. Blue – is it still Red vs. Blue? Because it doesn’t feel like it to me.

“It's been 17 seasons, it’s time to let the Reds and Blues go so someone else can shine!” – I simply do not understand us having been with the Reds and Blues for 17 seasons should be an argument to let them go, rather than be an argument as to why their absence hurt like hell.

“The Reds and Blues ran out of things to do!” – Did- did they, though? I mean, if we were discussing pretty much any other show, I’d probably agree that they were running out of content. But for the Reds and Blues… I think the PSAs nailed it this year! I’m not kidding, I had more fun watching the Reds and Blues discuss how to do laundry than watching Zero. You could literally give me an hour of the Reds and Blues trying to bake a cake or clear a gutter or simply settling down with an ordinary life, and I would trust them to make it worth the watch.

“The flaws were due to the fact it’s only 8 episodes long!” – Look, I can only judge a product the way it’s presented to me. I cannot come up with excuses for it. If they had 8 episodes to work with, they need to come up with a plot that works with this runtime. Seriously, this excuse cannot work when 48% of the season is spent on fight scenes. They could have used more runtime, sure, but the show needs to be able to pace itself and be planned accordingly.

“The OG cast couldn’t be a part of this year, hence Zero!” – That might be true. But. Would one year without RvB kill it? Is Zero necessary? Again, I just can’t judge excuses for the show. But trouble with the cast has been an issue before. Season 15 solves Geoff’s sabbatical by actually making Grif’s absence a part of the plot. Zero’s lack of Reds and Blues just feels like this excuse to tell a story that needn’t be a part of RvB.

Am I a hater? I guess? I greatly dislike Zero for the critique stated above. I do, however, not harass the creators and no one should ever do that. However, I have to admit that I feel there’s been this weird rejection of any critique of Zero where everything’s been brushed off as haters gonna hate, including the critique stated above. And I think that’s a problem because critique, as hard as it can be to hear (and I know this. I’m an author of original works. Weird flex, I know), is valid and necessary and shouldn’t just be shrugged away. As always, both sides of the fandom should always be respectful, but my own opinion is that addressing the flaws of Zero should not be controversial.

Does this super long rant/critique/whatever mean you cannot enjoy Zero? Gods no! I almost envy you if you enjoy this season, but holy shit, feel free to love it and tell the creators that you love it! Me pointing out the issues I have with the season shouldn’t be stopping you. I loved (and still love) s15 when it came out, and it was majorly rejected by the fandom. There were many, many critical posts, people were going on about how RvB should have ended with s13, and it evolved into the writer receiving death threats (me, once again: never ever harass the creators, assholes). But I didn’t tell people to stop being negative. I actually agreed with many of the flaws that were pointed out, and I enjoyed the season despite this, because that is possible. We, as RvB fans, should agree that RvB, is... I mean, it’s not the greatest, most flawless of shows, but we love it nonetheless. So go ahead and love Zero. This is not a stop sign. This is my opinion that you chose to read.

Wait, I promised you a cookie, didn’t I? Well, you’re not getting one. Why? Because I’m a Red and this is my chance to piss off a Blue. As Caboose wisely said: “Well, at least I don't go around... knocking on people's non-doors... and promising them cookies... and then NOT. GIVING. THEM. COOKIES!”

Blue Team sucks.

End speech.

#rvb zero #rvb #rvb zero critical #rvb critical #rvb0 #my rvb stuff #pls dont hate me for this #this is my honest opinion that people apparantly wanted to hear #as a standalone story zero isnt totally bad #as an rvb season it is

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imagineclaireandjamie · 3 years

Note

Blood calls to blood.

It Does My Heart Good: Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 || Chapter 15

“That’s it, Rab!”

Jamie almost doubled over, breathing heavily, beaming with joy as his six-year-old son pedaled down the road on his bike, wobbling just a bit.

“No training wheels, Da!” Rab shouted, almost not believing it himself.

Jamie took deep, heaving breaths. “Claire!” he croaked. “Where are ye?”

Claire poked her head out of an upstairs window, peering down at her husband and son in the street. “What? Everybody all right?”

“Mama, look!” Just then Rab pedaled back to the house.

“Oh, lovie!” Quickly she darted inside, raced down the stairs, and flew out of the door, almost colliding with Jamie who still clutched to the mailbox to hold himself steady.

Rab absolutely glowed, smiling ear to ear as he pedaled back and forth in front of his parents. “Look, Mama and Da!”

Slowly, carefully, Jamie pulled his phone from his front shirt pocket to take a video of Rab racing up and down the street, giddy with joy.

“Has he fallen yet?” Claire asked, trying to not sound worried.

Jamie shrugged. “He’s a boy. It happens.”

“That’s not exactly comforting - ”

“Have ye had a message from Bree today?” he interrupted uncharacteristically.

Her brow furrowed. “No. Why?”

Jamie held out his phone so that his wife could see the screen. It was a text from Brianna, sent about half an hour previous: I need to see you and Claire tonight. We’re fine. I’ll explain later.

Silently Claire counted to five before responding. “Well I’m worried.”

Jamie watched as Rab ground the bike to a halt at the end of the road, stood up, caught his breath for a bit.

“I hope it isnae the bairn. She’d tell us, aye?”

Brianna and her husband Roger were expecting their first child - Jamie and Claire and John and Isobel’s first grandchild. It had been a surprise - Brianna had become pregnant only about three months after her wedding and six months after starting her new job, and although the two of them were young and early in their respective careers, they loved and cared for each other. And they could provide for a baby - a baby that clearly they both wanted.

Claire nodded. “She would. Same if it was some kind of problem with Roger. I know it’s been stressful, and that they’re still trying to plan for what they’ll do when she goes back to work.”

Jamie tucked his phone back into his pocket and wrapped an arm around Claire’s shoulder. “The puir child has four grandparents to care for it, not to mention two decrepit great-uncles who have gladly said they’ll be full-time carers.” That was true - Lamb and his partner Fez had told Brianna as much during the dinner they’d organized to celebrate her pregnancy. With Lamb retired and Fez on sabbatical for the next year - and with Isobel Grey only working part time, and with Jamie himself fully in control of his schedule at the bookstore, this child had an entire network of people to ensure his or her comfort and care.

“I can’t help but worry.” Claire sighed.

Jamie squeezed her shoulder. “You’re her Mam. It’s your job to worry.”

Rab raced his bike down the road again, whizzing past them, hitting a rock, and wiping out in spectacular fashion.

“Thankfully he’s wearing his jeans today,” Claire muttered before racing over to her son, too drunk with joy to feel any pain.

---

“That’s a huge scrape you’ve got there,” Brianna politely observed as her brother showed off his skinned knees.

“Yeah. And I was even wearing pants! Mama said it was a good thing I didn’t wipe out in the dirt.”

Bree smiled, rubbing her six-month-pregnant belly. “That’s certainly true.”

“How old were ye when ye learned to ride a bike?” Jamie spooned up the last of the peas Claire had made to go with the roast chicken and mashed potatos she and Bree had cooked for dinner.

Brianna frowned, thinking. “I think I was about seven. It was the summertime, I remember that. I was wearing shorts, and my legs were covered in bruises and my arms were covered in mosquito bites.”

Rab wrinkled his nose. “Gross.”

She laughed. “You don’t need to tell me that.”

Jamie swallowed his last bite and stood, pushing his chair away from the table. “All right, wee Rab. Help me clear the dishes. Bree - you and Claire can sit in the living room if ye like?”

Carefully Bree stood, stretching. “Sounds like a great idea.”

Claire stood too, and took Bree’s hand. Bree squeezed it, and together they retreated to the soft chairs in the room off of the dining room.

For a while they sat next to each other on the couch, not speaking, listening to the low hum of Jamie’s voice speaking quietly to Rab and the clink of dishes and silverware as they washed and dried. Claire wanted Bree to make the first move, but soon enough Bree spoke.

“I had a realization this morning. Well, two, really. And I wanted to talk to you about it.”

Claire nodded. Patient.

Brianna looked down at her lap as she spoke. “The first is...I almost feel terrible for saying this, but I’m glad not just that you’re a doctor, but that you’re my mother, and I can talk to you about being pregnant and all of the weird things about it, because I can’t talk to my Mom about it.”

“Because she was never pregnant,” Claire said softly.

Bree nodded. “I feel terrible even thinking that - she’s the greatest Mom, and she’s known me all of my life, but -”

“But it helps to talk to someone who has experienced it firsthand. I understand.”

“I remember when you were pregnant with Rab - I remember asking you all about it, and learning about it. Because I’d never had that growing up. But it’s all so different now.” She paused. “I feel terrible even saying that about my Mom.”

Gently Claire rubbed the back of her daughter’s hand. “Don’t feel bad. I think she’d understand. And I’m so glad that I can help you, Bree. That this is another thing we can share.”

Bree swallowed, still not looking up at her. Claire felt her daughter’s hands shake with emotion.

“Are you all right, honey? Is everything all right with Roger?”

Bree let out a breath. “Oh, Claire, he’s so wonderful. He takes such good care of me. He’s a goofball and it’s really, really endearing.”

“I’m so glad you have that love in your life. Having a child with the man you love - it’s an incredible experience.”

Inexplicably Bree began to sob. Working from an instinct she couldn’t even begin to name, Claire leaned in to hold her daughter close. Comforting her, sheltering her as she cried and cried and cried.

“What’s wrong?” she crooned softly. “You can tell me anything, lovie.”

Brianna hugged Claire even tighter. “The other thing I realized today,” she whispered, “is that I can’t even begin to imagine my life without this baby in it. And then I realized that that’s exactly what you had to do, with me.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Claire rubbed her back soothingly. “That was different. I was unmarried and alone.”

“But still - I feel such a bond with him already, and I can’t imagine disrupting that. For most of the time before I was born, you knew me - and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to keep me.”

“Yes. But I made that choice. Jamie and I made that choice together, because it was the best choice we could make for you.”

“I can’t even imagine making that choice.” Bree took a deep, shaky breath. “And it really, really hit me today. I feel like I finally understand. And I want you to know...” Now she pulled back to look at Claire, wiping away the tears still streaming down her cheeks. “I want you to know that I love you so much more for what you did for me. Because I don’t know if I’d ever have the strength to do that.”

Tears welled in Claire’s own eyes. “Jamie said something to me, before we left each other in Glasgow, during those few precious weeks we had together when we knew you were coming and before I came back to Boston. He said - love forces a person to choose. You do things you never imagined you could do before.”

Bree smiled tearfully. “He’s right.”

Claire wiped away her tears, and cradled her cheek. “Of course he is. I kept saying that to myself over and over and over before you were born, and after you were born, and after I’d moved to North Carolina.”

“I’m sorry if I scared you earlier today when I texted Jamie. I just - ”

“I know, sweetie. I know.”

Just then Rab darted into the room, oblivious to his sister’s tears. “Ice cream for dessert?”

Bree sniffed and looked at her watch. “Roger should be here in fifteen minutes or so. Mind if we wait until then?”

Rab careened out of the room, intent on setting another place at the dining room table.

“Had I not made an adoption plan for you, Bree - I never would have had Rab.”

Bree turned to her mother, incredulous. “Oh my God. You’re right.”

Claire smiled tightly. “So. Everything is worthwhile. You never know the happiness that will come from the sadness.”

Bree squeezed her hands. “My life has become so much happier with you and Jamie in it. And Rab, too.”

Claire’s heart soared. “Oh, lovie. Ours too. Ours too.”

#;mod gotham #adoption au #Anonymous

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sparklekitteh · 3 years

Text

Prom Night

SFW, inspired by this imagine from @jeanslove

Jean Kirschtein x fem!Reader

Word count: 1998 -- LOL, ironically the year of my senior prom

Warnings: None, this is all SFW cotton candy fluff

“Y/N, will you come take one more picture before Jean arrives, dear?” Mrs. Kirschtein asked sweetly, her professional grade Nikon camera dangling from her neck. You adore Jean’s mother -- this woman who might as well be your own mom, as much time as you’ve spent at her house with your best friend Jean. She thinks the world of you and was delighted when Jean asked you to be his date to senior prom. She was over the moon when your parents invited her over to take pictures of the big moment when Jean whisked you away to the dance. In the two hours it has taken Jean to secure his rental tuxedo and your corsage, your mother and Mrs. Kirschtein -- Mama K as she likes you to call her -- have probably snapped hundreds of pictures of you from every angle. She was posing your hand on the waist of your red satin gown in front of the old upright piano where your father gave you and Jean lessons for years when you heard the cheery tones of your front door bell.

“Honey, he’s here!” your father calls to you from the door. “And he looks real sharp, like a fine young gentleman. Come on in, Jean,” he beckons to your date, and your father is not wrong. Jean is dressed to the nines in a black tux with a red vest and red bowtie matched to your dress, his shiny patent leather shoes gleaming in the light of your living room. Despite his attempt to sound suave in his text to you earlier, now his face is almost as scarlet as his outfit. He manages to find the words to say thanks and shake your dad’s hand nervously, who claps Jean’s shoulder with such a heavy hand that he has to take a step to the side to catch himself from stumbling.

“Oh Jeanboy, you’re here! Come in here by the piano so I can take pictures of you two dressed up,” his mother calls and you are surprised to learn that Jean’s face can turn an even deeper shade of red. “Look at my handsome boy!”

“Mother, please!” he groans as she drags him by his elbow and you follow trying to suppress a laugh at Jean’s protests at his mother publicly doting on him. She fusses over your dress for a few moments, straightening the hem while she instructs you to angle your shoulders just a little this way and tilt your chin up. She grabs Jean’s wrist and pulls him to stand behind you, then places his hands on your waist. “Sorry about this,” he mutters to you as she continues adjusting his stance.

“It’s ok,” you smile reassuringly, and it really is. You’ve had a crush on Jean for the longest time but didn’t want to do anything to endanger your friendship, especially since he’s your next door neighbor and it would be awkward as hell if it went sour. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy having his hands resting lightly on your waist as his mother flits about. She takes a few steps back and peeks through the camera lens to frame the shot and then steps over again to nudge Jean closer to you, closer, closer still, until he’s standing so near that you can smell the minty gum he’s chewing mixed with the cologne he bought for the occasion, a light botanical scent that reminds you of rain and freshly cut grass. His hands are trembling slightly, probably from the fact that he’s practically standing on top of you with your parents right there. His mother, finally satisfied with the shot, begins snapping pictures. Jean relaxes a little as your mom and dad crack jokes and tell stories about their own prom adventures, though the tremor in his featherlight touch near your hips betrays his nerves. After what seems like an eternity, his mother decides she has enough pictures and begins to shoo you and her son to the door.

“Mom, wait a second, will you? I have something for you, Y/N.” He strides to the table next to the front door where a plastic clamshell holds a delicate white rose fastened to an elastic band. He pops open the box and pulls the bud out, then slips the elastic around your wrist -- you note to yourself to thank him later for opting for this corsage and not one that would be pinned to the front of your dress; considering what a jittery mess he is he’d probably stab you with the pin.

“Thank you, Jean. It’s lovely,” you say as you bring the bloom to your nose. The scent blends perfectly with your vanilla rose lotion and you close your eyes as you inhale deeply. As you open your eyes, you see Jean is watching you with a dopy smile and it evaporates as soon as he realizes you saw it. He looks down at his feet, then runs his hand over his fresh undercut.

“You are lovely,” he whispers, then looks around the room with a sheepish grin. What a relief -- all of the adults are reminiscing about their high school days and are blessedly unaware of the two of you. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, thankful that this stage of the night is coming to a close.

“It’s getting close to seven, it’s time to see you two off,” your mother smiles and walks you to the front door. “Have fun and remember, curfew is midnight.”

“Thanks, Mom,” you nod. Jean is whisking you out the door, eager to leave before his mother can stop him for another round of photographs. As you stumble over the threshold, you are shocked to find a black limousine parked in front of your house. The chauffeur, leaning against the passenger door and dressed in a black tuxedo himself, sees you approaching and moves to open the door for you. You stop in your tracks and gape at Jean. “Is this for us?”

“Yeah, silly… who else would it be for?” he laughs. “Cinderella went to the ball in a carriage, right? Every princess needs to arrive in style.” He pulls a pair of aviator sunglasses from his pocket and puts them on, then flashes you that crooked smile that makes your heart feel like it’s going to race out of your chest. He takes your hand and turns to wave to his mom who has followed you outside, the shutter of her camera snapping as she takes another hundred or so photos. Jean looks dashing in his tux and shades and you feel like you’re getting a glimpse of the man he’ll become -- handsome, confident, cool as hell. He helps you into the limo and as if the universe couldn’t miss an opportunity to humble him, Jean bonks his head on the doorframe and yelps a curse.

“Jean Kirschtein!” his mother scolds him, then rushes over to examine his injury. He holds her at arm’s length and rubs his head, the aviators sitting askew on his face now and for the second time you have to hold back a giggle -- you can tell he’s not physically hurt too badly but his pride certainly is. He mumbles an apology to his mom for the profanity and slides into the limo with you, taking the sunglasses off. You lean over and peer at his forehead.

“I think you’ll survive but you might have a bruise tomorrow.”

“Oh good. I knew everything was going too well,” he complains and you laugh out loud this time.

You’re still a little confused why he would go to such an expense -- it wasn’t like you were actually dating, and in fact the reason Jean is your date tonight is because you made a promise to each other that if the two of you didn’t have a date to senior prom that you’d go with each other. He probably feels sorry for me, you think to yourself. You wonder why he wasn’t able to secure someone else as his date, though. You know for a fact there are several girls and even a couple of guys in your graduating class that have turned their attention on Jean but he never seems to be aware of their interest. He turns to you as the limo pulls away from the curb and you’re grateful to finally be out of the glaring attention of your family and just relax with your friend.

“Jean, thanks for this,” you gesture around you at the limo’s interior. “This was unexpected but very sweet.”

He scoots a little closer and your breath catches in your throat as his knee bumps into yours, the black satin stripe on his tuxedo pants brushing against the red satin of your dress. “Of course, Y/N. I wanted to make tonight special for you,” he smiles shyly. “I hope you don’t think I went overboard or anything -- mom actually suggested this.”

“Oh,” you reply, a little let down that the thoughtfulness came from his mother and not himself.

“She said I owed you after chasing away everyone else who wanted to ask you to be their date tonight,” he chuckled, turning red again. You stare at him dumbfounded at what he just dropped so casually.

“What?” is all you can manage to squeak out and he shows that lopsided grin you’ve come to cherish.

“I know we said we’d be each other’s date if no one else asked… but I kind of cheated. Mina Carolina asked me but I turned her down, and I … uh… I might have warned every guy in our class that I’d kick their asses if they asked you to prom.” His grin faded into a sheepish look as he looked into your wide eyes and fumbled over his words. “I hope you’re not mad. I just… I didn’t know how to tell you that I like you. A lot. More than best friends. For a long time now.”

“Jean, I like you too. Way more than best friends,” you whisper and feeling an impulse of bravery, you thread your fingers with his and squeeze his hand.

“Would you … um… would you be my girlfriend, Y/N?”

“Oh my god, I thought you’d never ask. Yes!” you breathe and he tilts your chin up to look into your beaming face. The look of relief and adoration in his eyes melts your heart as he softly kisses you -- your first kiss, and his as well. He goes to lean his forehead to yours and then swears quietly, feeling the bump he received earlier. You giggle and gently kiss the sore knot on his forehead, and he laughs too. He’s warm and wonderful sitting so close to you and you feel like you’re dreaming, enchanted by this sweet clumsy boy.

The limo pulls up to the entrance of the school gym and Jean, more carefully this time, leads you out of the vehicle into the school. Sasha greets you at the door, both of you gushing about how pretty you look in your gowns and Connie fist bumps Jean when he sees you’re still holding his hand. Jean opens the door for you and ushers you into the dimly lit gymnasium, decorated with silver and blue balloons and streamers, fairy lights strung along the walls to resemble constellations, and leads you through a tinsel-curtained archway that reads A Night Among the Stars. There are certainly stars in his eyes as he leads you onto the dance floor and you fall into a comfortable swaying rhythm as you wrap your arms around his neck, his hands resting on your hips with just enough distance between you not to alarm any of the teachers and chaperones. What you thought was going to be an awkward night of goofing off with your friends has become the night you’ve dreamed of -- the night you finally get to hold Jean and call him yours.

#jean kirstein #jean kirschtein #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #tooth rotting fluff

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spider6oy · 4 years

Text

This is on you || JJ Maybank

summary: y/n and jj had been best friends for many years and had always been there for each other. but what happens when jj gets a new girlfriend and y/n finally comes to realise what has been happening between her and jj all these years. based on the song ‘this is on you’ by maisie peters because i am an absolute slut for her

Warnings: swearing, bad writing

word count: 3.2k

Your sleep was currently being disturbed by an incessant tapping at your bedroom window. At first, you had only thought it to be a tree branch raking against the window from the wind – you honestly didn’t think much of it. Living in North Carolina, you were used to the strong winds making things bash into the side of your house (or in this case; your bedroom window). With that thought in mind; you gripped the duvet cover, rolled over, and went back to sleep almost instantly.

Almost.

The tapping quickly became much more constant, almost never-ending, which lead you to assume that this in fact was not a tree branch in the wind but was something else. You let out a frustrated groan as you threw the covers away from your body and swung your legs over the side of the bed. You felt a scowl set upon your features as you marched over towards your bedroom window, feeling goose bumps rise on your skin as you walked across the cold wooden floor.

You couldn’t really think who would be knocking at your bedroom window at 3 o’clock in the morning – 3 in the morning?! Everyone you knew would either be asleep right now or at their own homes, there was no real reason for anyone to be at your bedroom window. You huffed lightly as you gripped the chord for the shade and yanked it; revealing who was outside your window.

Your eyes widened slightly, and your lips parted as you watched JJ, who you now realised was responsible for the tapping, wave at you through the glass and send you a dopey smile. You remained stunned, your hand hadn’t even let go of the shade chord, as you simply stared down at JJ.

You couldn’t believe it, quite honestly. You simply could not believe that he was stood outside of your window right now – at 3am, did I mention?

You hadn’t actually seen JJ for just over a month. At first, it had felt like your entire world was falling apart. What were you supposed to do without him? He was one of the most important people in your life; if not the most important person. Everything you had ever done; JJ had always been by your side – and you had thought that that would never change. Not in a million years did you expect him to be missing from your life. But it happened. He was in your life one day and gone the next.

It had all started when he had met this random touron at a kegger. Her name was Amber. She was pretty with her blonde hair and blue eyes. When you had first noticed her, you could have sworn that she was a real-life Barbie doll. She looked perfect (you could understand why JJ had started speaking to her).

But honestly, you didn’t even bat an eyelash at the pair. Why would you? This was typical JJ behaviour. Find an attractive girl, woo her with his good looks and dazzling charm, have sex with her, and then move on to the next poor unfortunate soul. It was practically like clockwork.

So, you could imagine how surprised you were to see the blonde girl sitting on John B’s couch (with a beer in her hand, laughing at something JJ had said) when you had arrived that afternoon. You had shot questioning glances at your fellow Pogues and received just as confused expressions from them back. You were all entirely perplexed and couldn’t help but wonder; what had this girl done to JJ?

Anyway, it quickly became apparent that Amber was not going anywhere anytime soon (much to your disdain) because for the next week and-a-half; everywhere JJ went so did Amber. It was as if they couldn’t live without each other. They had practically become joined at the hip. Every single boat trip, dinner at The Wreck, kegger, or whatever the group had planned to do for that day; Amber was always there. It quickly became impossible to separate the two.

And of course, you didn’t like it. You absolutely fucking hated it. You had basically lost your best friend overnight without so much as a warning. A quick ‘Hey, can I borrow JJ and. . . never give him back?’ would have been much appreciated on your end. But you hadn’t lost him entirely.

No, you still got to see him. . . and Amber. And, you still got to talk to him. . . and Amber. So, could you really complain?

(I mean, yes. Yes, you could complain. And you would complain. But only to the Pogues, and only when JJ wasn’t around (which was becoming more and more of a regular thing)).

Yet, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You felt guilty for the fact that your best friend, who barely got a chance at happiness in his shitty life, had finally found someone that made him feel happy. You felt guilty that you couldn’t just be happy for him too. You felt guilty that you couldn’t push your own selfish opinions and emotions to the side, at the benefit of your best friend. You felt guilty for not being a good friend.

So that’s what you did. You pushed those thoughts and feelings to the side and replaced them with only the happiness you felt for JJ. And it worked. You no longer felt irritation and anger when you looked over at the pair, wishing that Amber would somehow just disappear and never return. Instead, you could only smile softly at the couple now, loving how JJ’s eyes seemed to be filled with pure joy and his smile never seemed to drop.

Only that didn’t last long. It was maybe two days later when JJ was knocking at your front door. You remember your smile widening as you noticed he was alone (for the first time in forever), wondering if maybe your JJ had finally returned, and if Amber had gone back to whatever hovel she had come from. But your smile quickly faltered as you noticed his nervous demeanour. He was constantly nibbling at the corner of his lip, fingers fiddling with his rings, and his eyes couldn’t seem to meet yours.

You had quickly questioned what was wrong with him. Your own nerves were beginning to get the better of you, your grip on your front door tightening as you waited for his response. Your heartbeat began to quicken, and you could feel your palms becoming clammy as he awkwardly stuttered out what he had to say. You remembered tears welling in the corners of your eyes and your throat becoming impossibly tight as you couldn’t believe what he was telling you.

He didn’t want to see you anymore.

He didn’t want to be your friend anymore.

He didn’t want you anymore.

You had thought he was lying. You nervously laughed it off (holding back the tears) and shook your head, claiming that he must have been joking. Your lip quivered as you watched him shake his head and repeat his words, stating how he didn’t want to see you again and that you shouldn’t try to call him or talk to him from now on. He awkwardly turned on his foot, sending you one last pitiful glance, and walked back towards where you noticed John B’s van was parked.

And guess who was sat in the front seat?

Your sadness and despair at the loss of your best friend quickly transformed into anger and hatred towards him. How could he just dump you like that? Like you didn’t mean anything? How could he act as if your friendship meant nothing to him? As if 10 years of friendship equivalated to fucking zilch?! How could he choose her over you? How could he choose some blonde touron that he didn’t even know last month over his closest friend and ally?!

You were utterly destroyed by the whole thing. Honestly you were. You had never quite felt a pain like it before. It was as if someone had plunged their hand into your chest and physically ripped your heart straight out from within your body, squeezing it in their palm until all of the life had drained from it. This left you feeling empty and hollow. This left you feeling as though you had lost your sense of identity within the world. Who were you without JJ?

The next couple of weeks were quite possibly some of the worst weeks you had ever experienced in your life. The Pogues would visit almost every day; which made the passing time a little bit easier. All of them were completely enraged by what JJ had done. He hadn’t decided to cut them out of his life as of yet, but that didn’t mean that they wanted to be a part of it. They would always cuss JJ out for what he did, cursing him under their breath.

But you all knew who the sole culprit for JJ’s actions was – and this is what angered you the most.

Because you had given her a chance. You had started to put your own feelings aside and respect the relationship that JJ was developing. . . but, she obviously couldn’t do the same for you.

With all of this newfound time on your hands, you couldn’t help but think. What else was there to do? So, you thought. You thought back to all of the times you had spent with JJ; talking over your feelings together, helping and comforting each other through tough times in your lives, making each other laugh when all either of you had wanted to do was cry.

But, as you continued to think over all of those times, you suddenly came upon a thought. It was like some sort of fucking epiphany. You felt like someone had literally just smacked you right across the face and had woken you up from a sort of mad-daze because, when you actually thought back to all of those times you had spent with JJ, consoling and empathizing, he had never actually done the same for you.

Not once.

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh (the first sign of positivity you had shown in a few days). Your hands reached up to cup your cheeks as more and more dumfounded chuckles and giggles seemed to leave your lips, laughing at your own blindness and stupidity. You fell backwards onto your bed and stared up at the ceiling above you, finally feeling a sense of clarity. You finally felt like the fog that had inhabited your mind for so long had finally been cleared away.

Because you quickly came to realise that you did not need JJ. JJ needed you.

“Uh, hey Y/N.”

You couldn’t deny that your heart ached slightly at the sight before you. His eyes were puffy, his nose running slightly, and his cheeks seemed flushed whilst the rest of his face seemed to blanch in comparison. You couldn’t help but internally curse yourself for pitying him upon one single glance. You had been pitying the boy for so long that it was practically second nature at this point.

“JJ.” You greeted, but it came out as more of statement. As if you were confirming to yourself that JJ was actually outside of your bedroom right now.

He bit his lip as his eyes looked past you and into your bedroom, “Can I come in? I just. . . I just really need to talk to you right now.” His eyes travelled back towards you and captured your own in a pleading gaze.

You looked away from his stare, boring holes into the windowsill below you. You knew what he was trying to do – it was obvious for anyone to see. He was trying to pick up from where he had left off with you. Where he would show up at your house, teary-eyed and a blubbering mess, expect you to listen to his struggles and calm him down with your warm embrace. Because that was what you had always done.

People had always told you that you were caring, that you had the kind of loving touch that would make even the most hysterical and rowdiest of people settled with a single glance. And you had always thought that it was a good thing. You had always had a sense of pride when it came to your empathy because you liked helping people, and you wanted to help people. But you had come to learn that people could (and would) take advantage of your kindness and use it to their own advantage, and you didn’t want that anymore.

“No.”

You looked up from your windowsill and stared straight into JJ’s widened and shocked eyes. You could instantly tell that he hadn’t been expecting that from you (neither had you in all honesty).

His mouth bobbed open and closed whilst his eyebrows furrowed, eyes flickering all over your face as if he were trying to find an ounce deceit. “N-No? What-What do you mean, no? Like. . . like, no?”

You gripped at your windowsill, your heart hammering in your chest. You had never been one for confrontation or telling people exactly how you felt. You had always been too wary and scared of hurting anyone’s feelings; you were a proper softy at heart. Your worst nightmare had always been the thought of hurting someone, or worse; hurting those closest to you.

But, honestly, enough was enough.

“Yes, ‘No’ JJ. No, you can’t come in. I’m sorry.” You voice came out with a slight waver to it; you were not feeling confident in that moment at all and all you wanted to do was shut your bedroom window and hide under the blankets on your bed.

JJ, still utterly perplexed, stepped forward until he was directly beneath your window. He stretched up onto the tips of his toes and held onto the window edge for some form of support. “But I really need you right now, Y/N. Amber, she-um. . . she, uh, she broke up with me. And I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go because I always come to you in situations like these, you know?”

You nodded your head. Of course, you knew.

You wet your lips as you pushed a hand through your hair, trying to think of the words to say. You knew that you didn’t want to hurt JJ, after all he had just broken up with Amber. But you also knew that you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself, you had already been drained of so much.

“Listen, JJ, I am really sorry that Amber broke up with you. I really am because I knew how much you liked her. But, I can’t help you right now and. . . I don’t think I ever will.”

That really made him start to panic. You could see it all over his face; his eyes had widened, his face paled even more, and you could see him start to become much more jittery.

“Wha-What? Ever..huh, um, ever? Y/N, you’re not making any sense right now? What do you mean ever? Do you. . . do you now want to help me, or something?” His words were leaving his mouth in a rush and it all just seemed to scream fear and dread. He knew that he was losing you, and he couldn’t have that.

What was he supposed to do without his shoulder to cry on?

You sighed lightly, kneeling down on your floor so that you were much closer to JJ now. “I do want to help you JJ. I have always wanted to help you and be there for you when you needed me most.” You could see a spark of hope glisten in the corner of his bright blue eyes, most likely thinking you were reconsidering his invitation into your bedroom. “But I’ve been doing that for the past ten years, and honestly? I can’t do it anymore.”

You watched as JJ slowly reclined back onto the balls of his feet, snatching his hands away from the sill; obviously not wanting to be anywhere near you.

You couldn’t deny that that had hurt.

“This is such bullshit, Y/N! You’re supposed to be my best friend, and best friends are meant to be there for each other! We’re supposed to help each other through these types of things!” JJ’s voice had raised a couple of notches, making you reel back slightly from the harsh tone.

You couldn’t help but feel a sense of anger at his words. Was he being serious right now? His accusations were entirely hypocritical. He was straight up accusing you of not being a good friend, of not supporting him through the toughest of times, when all this time he had been doing exactly that.

Frankly, it was all a major piss-take in your opinion.

You scoffed, your eyes narrowing into slits as you felt the built-up anger and frustration finally break through to the surface. “And I have! I have helped you through everything, for so fucking long, JJ. I have always been there for you. When the Kooks would rile you up, I was the one who would calm you down. When your father would beat the living shit out of you, I was the one who would patch up your wounds. And when the anniversary of your mom came around, I would always be the one who’s shoulder you would cry on. You cannot call me a bad friend, JJ. I will not let you call me a bad friend, no fucking way, because the only person who has been a bad friend this entire time; is you.”

Your chest heaved as you took a deep inhale of breath. You couldn’t help but feel like weight was being lifted from your shoulders. It was as if this is what you had been waiting to say all these years but had never truly been able to grasp at the idea. These words had been buried deep inside of you for so long and your break from JJ had finally allowed for them to come to the surface.

“You dumped me JJ. You left me, your supposed best friend of ten years, for some random touron girl who you had barely even known for two weeks! Who fucking does that, JJ?!”

You leant forward, your head slightly protruding out of your window. You wanted JJ to hear every word that you had to say. You wanted him to understand what you had gone through. You wanted him to understand what he had put you through.

“So, when you need someone to cry to and you can’t think of anyone because you fucked up what you had with me; just know that this is all on you, JJ. All of this, everything that has happened, is on your shoulders.”

You noticed how JJ’s jaw seemed to clench as your words left your lips. You could tell that he was trying to hold himself together. He was trying not to fall apart right there in front of you because for the first time ever, he knew you would not pick up the pieces.

“This is your bed JJ, you made it,” You leant back from the sill, standing up and grasping onto the window as you readied yourself to finally close it and put an end to everything between you and JJ – this was it. “Now, lie in it.”

tagged: @5am-cigarette thank you for giving me the idea 💖

#jj maybank #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagines #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj x fem!reader #outer banks #jj maybank x platonic reader

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utterlyinevitable · 3 years

Text

Time Bomb

III.

I. | II.

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 3.2k Warning: angst, trauma, panic attack Summary: OHSY Chapter 13 rewrite with the trauma we should have had.

A/N: I was going to have this be one long fic but it read just as jumpy as the canon chapter so imma split it up into 3-4 parts. I’ve been sitting on this for weeks and not really happy with it but yolo it’s as good as it’s gonna get! Enjoy 💗

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III.

Following an all-too-short lunch with Jackie, Becca reposed in the residents lounge for the rest of the day, alone, save for the somewhat reassuring chime of silence which was suspended throughout the room, and a riveting new journal that she held in her hands as she waited on labs to come back for her only patient, Farley.

Esme stepped inside the newly renovated room, closing the thick wooden door behind her and spinning a pen anxiously between her fingers. The atmosphere changed immediately - whatever calmness Becca found in this modern solitude vanished with her enigma of an intern’s presence. She moved to sit across from Becca without saying a word.

The two of them sat there in complete silence for a bit. The only sound was the rattling of the central heating from behind the ceiling panels and the taps of the pen Esme was still spinning between her hands.

Becca folded the article on her lap. She couldn’t focus on it anyway.

“Esme? Everything okay?”

It was impossible to miss the sullen look on Esme’s face - as if the weight of the world was resting on her shoulders and crushing her completely. She looked at Becca for a long moment, never meeting her eyes. Esme’s stare scanned the resident before her; the one resident responsible for her mentorship, the one she’s supposed to trust, the one who’s known to have faced great ethical dilemmas. All Esme could see was the same struggle staring back at her - only worse.

“Not really,” she huffs, crumpling back into the couch cushion. “It's Levi. His situation... it's really getting to me.” She took a pause to lick her dry lips. Then dove into the guilt eating away at her, “He's in so much pain every minute of every day. He's miserable, Becca. His whole life is agony, and he can't even tell anyone. I put my stethoscope to his chest a few days ago, and he teared up.”

Becca could tell Esme was trying not to cry, hiding her emotions behind the brick wall her angry tone provided. Trying to be strong. For whom had yet to be determined.

“Could you live like that?”

“Honestly…” Becca sighed as she bit her cheek, “I don't know.”

The last two weeks had Becca contemplating her own existence more than ever - a unwarranted side effect of escaping death. And in all those restless hours she hadn’t settled on a solid statement. She hadn’t found the right words to completely encompass and make sense of the endless agony tearing her apart.

She wished she could have switched places with Danny and Bobby; it was her fault they got caught in the crossfire. But Becca was selfish. So selfish for not wanting to die.

Rebecca Carolina Lao did not want to die. She could not die.

She’d worked hard her entire life - devoted her youth to her studies and cultivating the best resume she could. Her life had only just begun. She finally had the career of her dreams and…

What else is there to live for?

Those around her. Her friends. Her family miles away.

She couldn’t leave them. What would her mom be like if she had died without saying goodbye? She was strong but no one is strong enough to bury their child. Would she have her buried, or cremated and kept close to her heart? How would her roommates cope with the loss of another friend? How would they cope with taking on her share of the bills on top of inevitably losing their jobs in a few months? Who would pack up all her stuff and where would it all go?

Becca didn’t know any of these answers because she wasn’t in that position.

Through all of her pain, she fought like hell to stay.

As she sat in front of Esme, Becca’s mind briefly wandered to what it would be like to be in Levi’s position. If she couldn’t hold anyone’s hand anymore, or hold a pen or a book without pain… or kiss Ethan…

Would she be strong enough to live without everything she holds dear?

No.

She could not imagine her life ending any time soon.

“So what do I do for him, Becca? How do I help?”

The pen stopped rotating and the heating system lulled to a dull hum.

“You try... To respect his wishes,” she said with a resolute nod. “That could mean finding new experimental treatments, or it could mean accepting the fact that he doesn't want any more surgeries, even if you think they might help. He doesn't have any good choices right now. You have to make sure he knows you care about him first and foremost.”

The damaged girls looked at one another. The words settled and the air shifted.

Esme balled her fists against the loose fabric of her scrubs at her thighs. “Yeah... that makes sense.”

“Levi's been through a lot, and it makes sense that he doesn't want to get his hopes up for no reason. But it's your job to try to get him well.”

“I just wish I believed we could actually do that. Fix him.” Esme sniffled and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, straightening up resolutely.

Becca’s eyes softened. She remembered how it felt with her first terminal patients. That absolute helplessness didn’t compare - not any more.

The thing about being terminal - the silver lining - is foresight. People with incurable conditions have time to come to terms with dying. They have time to make amends. They have time to live the rest of their days on their terms. They have time to say goodbye.

Unlike Danny and Bobby.

Esme rose to her feet, wild determination in her eyes. “Levi's an amazing guy. I'm gonna help him... somehow.”

“He is,” a small smile pricked the corners of Becca’s lips. “I'm glad he has you to look after him.”

“Thanks, Becca. This really helped.” The standoffish intern smiled back and headed off towards her mission.

And once again Becca was left alone in eerie silence.

***

Stir crazy and mind bouncing too much for the walls of the small lounge to handle, Becca decided to make laps around the hospital. She spent the rest of her afternoon reacquainting herself with the wards and spending time comforting premature babies in the NICU.

Babies.

How can you be sad around babies? So full of life and promise...

Becca was walking past the E.R. on her way to check on Farley when she ran into Ethan.

His face lit up when he saw her; she looked better. She had pulled her hair back into a neater bun and there was a ghost of a smile present among her features. Looking up at him there seemed to be a glow about her, glowing in the faint way that only someone with a new lease on life could. Maybe Ethan was wrong. Maybe she did need to come back to work and face her fears head on. Maybe what was best for her was the distraction and promise of doing good. For once he hoped beyond all hope that his assessment would be proven wrong.

The sweet coloring in his eyes sparkled and the small cracks of crow's feet peeping at the corners sent a joyful warmth throughout Becca’s body. Just the sight of him gave her enough purchase to let out a large gust of air and with it most of her reserved tension.

Ethan.

He was here and she was safe.

For a fraction of a moment they both forgot they were still in the hospital.

“I've just been with your landlord,” he said slightly softer than his normal cadence, giving them both reason to stand closer in the busy lobby.

“How is he?” Becca shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her coat, keeping herself from reaching out to him in such a public place.

Their eyes never strayed from one another. The sparkle in his azure’s matched the glow of her heart as she gazed at him.

“A pain in the ass.” The sides of Ethan’s mouth perked upwards just a hair. “Medically, however, I'm waiting to see if any bacteria shows up in his cultures. If he has meningitis, we'll need to-”

Suddenly, the ambulance bay doors burst open cutting him off. Their heads whipped towards the door where an EMT was wheeling a new patient in.

With skilled precision the EMT rattled off. “I have a patient here. Unconscious female, 50's.”

Becca and Ethan took a brief look around the E.R., but the few doctors on duty were busy with other urgent cases.

“We'll take her,” he says just as Becca’s feet carried her to the gurney in an adrenaline-fueled rush.

Unconscious woman. Shallow breaths.

Becca’s muscle memory took over well before her brain could catch up, gently slapping the nameless woman’s deathly pale cheek. Everything happened so fast. Becca’s vision was filtered by a vignette secluding her from the world. The only thing pulling attention at the center was the woman before her. This patient barely breathing and clinging to dear life. This patient with frayed graying hair, soft creases and a pale white face with a structure she’s seen before.

This woman’s not going to die.

Becca wouldn’t have it. On the third slap to her boney cheek the darkened edges faded and Becca could finally see the bigger picture.

The moment she made contact, it clicked.

Becca’s jaw dropped as she registered the features glaring back at her.

“Oh my god…” she whispered to herself.

This can’t be.

Nervously looking over her shoulder Becca called, “Ethan,”

He raised his brows, ready to jump in and help at her command.

Before he could take a step forward Becca quickly elaborated, “It's your mom…”

Time kept spinning and every second this patient came closer to losing life.

For the first time in his career Ethan was rooted to the spot.

Of course this would be how they meet after 25 years. The universe had been playing a sick and morbid joke on him lately - Dolores, Naveen, Becca, and now the woman who was dead to him long ago.

“Ma'am?” Becca tapped her again, trying to jostle her awake.

Becca’s eyes further assessed the woman’s state. Blue lips and fingertips. Memories jolted through her on the backs of the numbing adrenaline of her first ever case with Ethan -

She’s losing life.

Just like Danny and Bobby and...

Becca pushed the constricting feeling of paralyzation aside. This woman cannot die on her watch. Another life will not be taken from her. Regardless of who they are.

Ethan watched Becca move frantically around that woman. The reassuring color she finally found had drained from her face completely. Without having to ask he knew how Becca was feeling, because he felt it too.

He didn’t want to help this patient. He wanted to turn on his heels and let the powers that be take control. To let whatever power that took her away from them all those years ago to come and take her away now. He couldn’t look at her. The nerve of that woman. But Ethan Ramsey took an Oath and there was a patient who needed his expert care.

With herculean effort Ethan shook himself out of his trance and leapt into action a split second later.

“How's her breathing? Listen to her chest,” he instructed.

“Shallow. Pupils are small and unresponsive…” Becca responds, moving to check their patient’s arms for any telling signs.

And she finds one.

Track marks.

She bit back the gasp threatening to call Ethan’s attention.

Ethan…

As much as Becca wanted to protect him from this - from the deep seeded, constant pain his mother inflicts - her job came first. Becca was a doctor and her attending needed to know the diagnosis.

“It looks like an opioid overdose. We need to wake her up.”

She didn’t take her eyes off of his mother, willing her awake with every fibre of her fragile being. Calling up to that invisible force that spared her life only weeks ago for just one more favor. Just one more delay to the inevitable. She greedily needed her to survive. Needed his mother to open her eyes - there was no other option.

Death would not come today.

“Louise?” Ethan finally acknowledged the woman. His voice bellowing, pricking goosebumps on Becca’s skin. “Dammit!”

Ethan brushed past Becca and ground his knuckles into his mother’s sternum.

“Hnnng…” Louise whined; her eyes opened for a moment and Becca caught the same baby blues blankly staring at her then rolled back in her head.

No.

Doe eyes wide and full of diluted terror Becca announced, “I'll get the naloxone.”

She hurried to find a bottle of the drug in a cabinet by the nurses station, quickly preparing an injection in her unfaltering hands as she moved back towards the gurney in ten steps. Then without an ounce of hesitation, stabbed the needle into Louise’s shoulder. Ethan’s mother drew a deep, shuddering breath, eyes fluttering as she slowly pulled out of her unconscious state.

Becca’s breath caught up with her.

She’s alive.

That was all the assurance Ethan needed.

“Alright, she'll make it.” Ethan pulled his rubber gloves off and stepped away from the gurney and where Becca still rooted beside it.

“Nurse? Keep an eye on her. We're done here.”

Becca wasn't done. She was sinking in the feelings surrounding her. She felt like she was drowning in the onslaught of waves overtaking her - waning adrenaline, fear, terror, inadequacy, remembrance. Death looked her in the face again today. She evaded him once more.

Becca 3, Death 2.

What quarter were they in? When will this duel finish?

She doesn’t know. It’s an inevitable prolonging. A battle she won’t win for long.

When is the end?

She’s consciously terrified of losing.

Becca’s rooted in place as the waves began rolling towards her. Everyone moves around her in fluid sweeps. She sees nothing and everything all at once. Her line of sight coated in blanched static.

When the nurse took over and shook her out of her trance, Becca noticed Ethan promptly striding from the room without another word. This wasn’t the Ethan she knew; he would never leave a patient this soon. And this wasn’t a patient… it’s his mother… who nearly died if it wasn’t for him…

Becca swallowed her bile of trauma and chased after him through the storm;

“Ethan!”

The haunting she felt in her core didn’t matter. The shadow taking tallies over her shoulder didn’t matter. None of that mattered. She had to push past it all and be strong for him now.

He was elusive. She didn’t even hear his footsteps stomping through the hall and rattling through her, not even the vibrations ricocheting off the steel foundations. His long legs couldn’t have taken him too far. Scanning the corridor, Becca noticed the door to the on-call room a second away from shutting.

Ethan.

She finds Ethan hunched over a cot in the empty on call room. The room is dark - only one clinical light is glowing in the far corner of the cramped room. His hands balled into tight fists, the whites of his knuckles reflecting the little light away from his crumpled face.

She gingerly sat down beside him and ran a gentle hand over his back.

“Ethan?” Becca whispered a few moments later “Are you alright?”

Warm air flowed indignantly between them.

“She does not get to do this to me.” He huffed in his deep voice laden with the sentiment of a broken child. ”She does not get to make me feel bad for her.”

“I’m sorry.” Becca couldn’t say anything louder than a whisper. Her own despair still gripped into her like a vice.

“Don't be.” Ethan shrugged bitterly, though not enough for her to let up on her calming caresses. “This has nothing to do with me. That woman isn't anyone I know.”

She rested her head against his shoulder. They let silence hang and their minds clear. It was Becca who asked the most pressing question from their earlier observations:

“Do you think your dad knows she’s using?”

“...I don't know.”

He grinds his hands further into his eye sockets, willing the newest image of that woman from his minds eye. Becca continued soothing rubs up and down his back and placed her chin on his shoulder so she could look at him more closely.

“It’s okay to be sad,” she mutters.

“I'm not sad. I'm... I'm…” Ethan dropped his hands and they hung between the gap of his legs. His eyes squeezed shut and she can make out the small droplets trapped against his lashes. “Angry.”

“That's okay, too.” Her free hand moved to begin tracing nonsensical patterns over the thin, starchy fabric at his forearm. “Anything you're feeling right now is okay.”

His clouded eyes flew open.

“I'm…” he begins to speak before pressing his lips together tightly.

He huffed, shoving off her embrace and stands.

“I have to get back to work.”

“That was your mom, Ethan. She nearly died. You can take a minute. It's okay--” she began to plead.

Becca was trying to beg him to stay. To lock the door and let them hold one another for a while. So that they can fall apart and patch one another up with unconditional affection. She needed this just as much as she knew he did.

But Ethan didn’t give her the chance to ask, to make the all too enticing proposition as he bound across the room. He didn’t even bother to turn around; his eyes shut tightly and hand reached for the metal knob. He inhaled a deep cleansing breath;

“No, it isn't. There are patients that need me much more than she does.” There was a finality in his tone that frightened her.

Becca’s jaw slacked.

Ethan didn’t leave a second for her rebuttal. For her to beg. Not even a quirk of the neck in her direction to see the matching brokenness in their eyes.

The door shut loudly behind him, his footsteps echoed down the hall.

She wanted to chase after Ethan. He needed her now more than ever. Another person in his life could have been gone in a swift, unforgiving instant. If the effects of seeing their patient on the brink of death was this bad for her she could only imagine what he was going through. Though Becca couldn't move, couldn’t force herself to run through the halls and break down the barriers he’s just put up sky high. He’s pushing her away again; she can feel it.

Resigned, Becca gave up the great fight.

When the rattling of his exit dissipated and all that reached her ears was an unnerving peace, she laid down, hugging the plastic wrapped pillow tightly to her body. It smelt like clean and disinfectant and morbidly hospital-like. She wasn’t able to lose herself in this horrid smell. She ripped off the case with as much strength as she could muster, freeing the mass-produced cushion. The squish of the mildly firm pillow through the hypoallergenic fabric wasn’t helping. It still carried all she needed to forget. Rolling to face the wall, curling into a tight ball and burrowing her face in the pillow she let out a vital, subdued scream. The damn was shattered and her emotions spiraled freely for the first time in days.

Everything was all too much.

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#ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart #open heart fanfic #choices open heart

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ptersparkers · 4 years

Text

who is harley maybank?

summary: harley maybank, born harley summers, finds her quiet life in a small californian town turned upside down when she realizes she has two long lost older brothers. as told from the perspective of harley.

warnings: typos, probably.

notes: this is a side project. i was messing around with ideas for season two and then thought....what if we got to know more about jj’s backstory and what if i wrote about it? this won’t necessarily follow the obx tmieline -- i’m borrowing characters but that’s pretty much it. jj’s 18 in this story. he will make an appearance.

this is a limited series.

WHO IS HARLEY MAYBANK?

WHO IS JESSE MAYBANK?

Harley Maybank never quite fit in just right.

Some might’ve said she was a carefree spirit who jumped from person to person, yearning to experience a life different than her own. Some might’ve said she was too reckless and wore her heart on her sleeve, ready for it to be broken over and over again before she learned how to rebuild herself.

It always caught her off guard to know that people her age wanted to settle down in the small town they grew up in, never having the desire to explore beyond the city lines. Harley always felt like she was living her life on the edge of her seat, constantly pulling herself back from the cliff’s edge before jumping too quickly. Perhaps that was what made people so drawn to Harley; her effervescent personality combined with the motivation to leave the quiet town that never satisfied her hunger for knowledge.

People were quick to make judgements about people who knew the future they wanted and Harley was no exception. She was young, perhaps too young, to know what she wanted out of life but the first step in discovering what that is was leaving the town of Mill Valley, California, and exploring different corners of the world before deciding which life for her. Harley was reckless with her feelings, pushing her heart to the limit and latching onto the feeling of the light on her face so she could taste the freedom of leaving.

The residents of Mill Valley would argue everyone who grew up there knew each other by first and last name, and knew everyone in town. From kindergarten to the local community college, the tight knit community prided themselves in being sheltered in their safe haven that never seemed to welcome nor encourage locals to leave. In summary, everybody knew each other.

But nobody, including Harley, really knew who she was.

Up until a month ago, Harley was born to a single mother and never knew who her biological father was. She could always tell she was the odd one out as it didn’t take her long to realize her friends had a matching set of parents and Harley could feel the distance between her life and everyone else’s when she’d come to arrive at sleepovers with only her mother in tow.

Marisol Summers was strong-willed, willing to sacrifice her livelihood for Harley without thinking twice. The woman raised Harley with nothing but her wits and morals, teaching the young girl about independence and that womanhood is whatever she wanted it to be. The small suburban town that never seemed to be home was home when Harley and Marisol were together, laughing at television ads and watching films late into the night.

From a young age, young Harley had a future brighter than anyone who grew up in Mill Valley. She was always eager to step off of the curb despite her mother’s warnings and color the white walls of her elementary school’s classroom, much to the dismay of her teachers. Marisol could recall all of the parent-teacher meetings but always stood by Harley’s eagerness to be challenged intellectually.

The teenage girl never felt like she had a core group of friends she could rely on to embark on late night adventures of spontaneous trips to the beach. She was a free-floater, drifting between people, befriending anyone who’d befriend her. Harley wasn’t afraid to strike up a conversation with strangers in the supermarket checkout line or help lost tourists who were passing through. The girl was a light in the darkest tunnel and everyone could see it. Everyone except for Harley.

The rambunctious teenager sought more from life than meek conversations with people she’d never dream of being around. Her passions and interests were vast and numerous, unlike her peers who seemed interested in marijuana and alcohol. Harley’s love for life exceeded her love for the town she grew up in, which would always be part of her, but not who she would grow to be.

But her world was turned upside down when her mother sat her down when she came home from school one afternoon. Marisol, with an expression Harley couldn’t quite make out, asked her to sit on the stool of the kitchen’s island and to not interrupt as she spoke.

“You have a brother,” Marisol spoke, finally. She fiddled with the bracelet on her wrist and avoided Harley’s gaze. “He called me about a month ago.”

“You have a son?” Harley asked in confusion. Marisol shook her head.

“No,” she said quickly. “Your biological father, Luke, and I met on that island in North Carolina about a year before I had you.” Harley nodded, already having known this about Marisol. “You know how I was back then. Young, careless, not ready to have a child.” Marisol cupped Harley’s cheek in her hand. “But happy you came nonetheless.

“What I didn’t know was he had a son when he was much younger,” she explained. “Seventeen, or so. The mother left him and took their son to Sweden where he was raised until moving to New York a while ago. She passed away recently and the details are hazy, but his name’s Jesse and he’d like to get to know you.”

Harley sat in silence for what seemed like a century, processing the influx of information that surprised her to no end. Her entire life was built around the closeness of family, despite having only her mother and a few aunts, uncles, and grandparents from her mother’s side she didn’t see very often. The prospect of getting to know a side of her family, her father’s side, after being in the dark for sixteen years was both exciting and horrifying.

Beads of sweat decorated her forehead and she wiped them away hastily. Her jacket felt too heavy and she took it off, setting it aside haphazardly on the counter. Marisol looked at her daughter with an unreadable expression, which made Harley uneasy.

“I’d never make you do anything you didn’t want to,” she said. “But from what I could tell, he sounds legitimate. Told me about the Outer Banks and everything I could remember seventeen years ago.”

“Do you know anything more about this ‘Jesse’ guy?” Harley asked.

“He was born in North Carolina before moving to Sweden when he was two years old,” she explained. “He lived there before moving to England for college, then New York for work. From what I can tell, he’s pretty established with his own venture capitalist firm in the States. I did some digging after he called me and he’s pretty legitimate.”

“Jeez,” Harley said. “How old is this guy?”

“In his thirties,” said Marisol. “The reason why he knows we exist is because of a friend of his mother’s who kept tabs on your father up until his mother’s death.”

“Sweden, huh?” Harley asked rhetorically. “He sounds like he lived a pretty good life.”

Marisol chuckled. “Yeah, but I can only imagine how hard it fell when he realized he had a younger sister.”

Harley was quiet. The sound of the clock ticking was apparent and signified how long she’d been thinking about her family, the side she never knew, and all the things she would’ve said to her father if she knew who he was. What would he be like? Was he still alive? Does he have his own family now, and if so, what were they like? Were they still living in the Outer Banks?

“It’s kind of scary, isn’t it?” Harley asked.

“A little,” Marisol confessed. “I was a bit skeptical at first but he explained his knowledge of the Outer Banks and, honey, he sounded desperate for him to believe me.”

“Do you?”

“I’m sure of it. I don’t think he’d oppose a DNA test either.”

“Do you think I should talk to him?”

“Only if you want,” Marisol said. She handed Harley a piece of scrap paper with a phone number on it. “That’s his number, Harls. Jesse said to give him a call, day or night, and to take your time.”

“But you admit that everything about this sounds weird, right?” Harley asked. Marisol nodded slowly.

“Oh, definitely,” she said. “It’s weird if a random guy calls you and says he wants to get to know your sixteen-year-old daughter, but I did some digging on my own and was able to connect with Grace, someone who knows my family and Jesse’s.”

“And?”

“And what he said checked out,” she explained. “Apparently, Grace kept tabs on Luke after Jesse’s mother left him, and there are more details about financial compensation that I can’t wrap my head around, but she found out about you when you were young.”

“This Grace person isn’t messing around, is she?”

“From what I know, Jesse comes from an important family in Sweden, the Nystroms. His mother was heir to a Swedish textiles company and it was scandalous news when she ran away to North Carolina to be with Luke.” Marisol stood momentarily to reach for a glass of water before sitting down once again.

“And Grace?”

“I spoke with her too,” Marisol replied. “I got to know her because I wanted to know this wasn’t a scam.”

“Imagine that,” Harley mumbled, rolling her eyes.

“Grace is from another prominent family in Sweden and has been family-friends with the Nystroms since the dawn of their business partnership, I think,” said Marisol. “From what I understand, the Nystroms had asked Grace’s family to keep tabs on Luke as a favor, which is why Grace found out about you.”

“Why didn’t they want to reach out to us?” Harley asked, heart dropping.

“You know how the rich are,” Marisol replied with a pitiful laugh. “It wouldn’t look good for their image if people knew the heir to a multibillion-dollar company eloped with a small town American to North Carolina. Truthfully, I don’t think there’s much either of them could’ve done.” Marisol paused to collect her thoughts before speaking. “I spent so much time looking for Luke and trying to put the pieces together with no luck and then Grace calls me to tell me Luke’s last name is Maybank.”

Maybank.

For sixteen years, Harley had known the truth about her father and Marisol’s escapades that transitioned her from a careless post-undergraduate student to a responsible mother. Their bond was held together by the fundamental truth regarding the mystery about who her biological father was, and for the longest time, Harley felt incomplete not knowing her last name. As far as she knew, she was Harley Summers from California. But her biological name was Harley Maybank.

Her mind was racing and she couldn’t seem to focus on one thing or another. Her name, the only aspect about her that she knew was her identity, wasn’t what she thought it was. The surname carried a burden on her shoulders; she had longed to know her biological father’s side of the family and spent the majority of her life fantasizing about the first words she would hear him say. But Harley never seriously thought that she’d ever know who she was or where she came from and the notion that her mother spoke to Harley’s biological brother was making her mind race as if a speeding car couldn’t stop for a red light.

“Maybank,” Harley muttered. “That’s a little weird.”

“Isn’t it?” Marisol asked. Harley let out a confused laugh.

“I mean, I’ve gone by Harley Summers my entire life and I didn’t think I’d ever learn my father’s last name. It’s a little comforting and horrifying at the same time.”

“I bet,” Marisol replied. “I mean, I’ve had a month to think about this. I genuinely thought it was a scam or a prank call until Jesse was able to send documents about Luke’s whereabouts until the night I met him.”

“Wow,” Harley said, widening her eyes. “Grace and her family kept that much information?”

“I suppose it was important,” Marisol said with a shrug. “Grace didn’t say, but I’m almost positive the Nystroms paid Luke for his silence. Jesse’s mother spent two years in North Carolina and it’s hard to keep who you are a secret for that long.”

“Still,” Harley said, sighing dramatically, “In my lifetime, I never thought I’d be wrapped up in a conspiracy.”

“I’m pretty sure Grace was hinting at the fact that the Nystroms would’ve been scared if the public knew about your existence too,” Marisol added. “While you probably wouldn’t have inherited their fortune since you’re not technically related to the family, I can only imagine how Jesse would’ve behaved if he knew he had a sister. But what do I know, right?”

“Mom,” Harley said, looking at the older woman. ��You’ve always been perceptive and I learned a long time ago that you’re never wrong.” Marisol laughed. “I’m being totally serious. I can’t really wrap my head around this either.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Marisol reassured. “Jesse’s an adult and has an established life already. You’re young and barely off to college. I wouldn’t want you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or jeopardize your future. But if it makes you feel better, I trust Jesse. We’ve gotten to know each other through phone calls and emails for the past month.”

“I’ll take that into consideration,” Harley said cautiously. Marisol's eyes softened and she reached out to cup Harley’s cheek.

“My baby’s growing up,” she said lovingly. “It’s weird to think I was telling you bedtime stories not too long ago.”

“Yeah,” Harley replied softly, “those days seem easier in hindsight, doesn’t it?” Marisol nodded and Harley stood from her seat. “Is it okay if I go to my room? I just want to digest this for a while.”

“Of course,” said Marisol. She pointed at the slip of paper with Jesse’s phone number written on it. “Here’s Jesse’s number in case you feel like calling him but don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to, okay?”

“Okay,” Harley said, giving Marisol a quick hug before retreating to her bedroom.

For three weeks, Harley debated on telling her closest friends about her dilemma and what to do next, but she knew none of them would offer valuable advice nor give her the courage to do what she thought was right. On the third Friday of the month of March, when the weather was warmer than the previous day, Harley took note of the colorful leaves on the trees surrounding her apartment complex and reflected on the idea that the seasons would always change and so would she, but not if she waited for something to happen. Wordlessly, she marched into her bedroom, noticing her mother had yet to come home, and dialed the phone number that sat on her desk untouched, hearing a deep voice answer the phone.

“Hello?”

***

i included my obx taglist because jj will make an appearance.

***

taglist:

@jellyfishbeansontoast @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @simpingforrudypankowonly @hi-my-name-is-riley @antoheartit @runway-to-my-aid @kayleypaige2233 @jroseron @mahleeyuh @decap-quadrant @deviouscharitos @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @wasabiwitteks @waywardbabie @parkerpetertingle @cheshirecat107 @ballerinafairyprincess @underratedmisfit @gardengirl-18 @letsgofullkook @thankfulfortimmy @voguesir @madzleigh01 @suhoey @yeslifeofateen @spn-marvel-nerd @outerbongs @cleverandwitty @onlyalittleteenwolfobsessed @scottish-sim @lonely--witch @thin-spiration-for-me @britnicole11 @Jessica-1120 @ilovejjmaybank @goodgodimaweirdperson @beckester @louiesfineline @jamielinnsmith @asmallhobbitruinedmylife @whosxthat @ollyoxenfrees @thesadestsadperson @saphira1412 @leilanixx @serpent-baby @a-daydreamers-day @sofianunes10 @sleep-i-ness @shxwarmq @fandomngirl @nightxshadex201 @eternalqueensworld @shreckluver7 @fourfearsofdivergent @stfukie @lauren-sun13 @brithedemonspawn @pogue-h @mfmaddyperez @sspidermanss @outerbankslove @bxbyyyjocelyn @jjsbxtch @rudethchalamet @srirachibi @shawnssongs @shoppingcarthappiness @calumbroutledge @jayjaymaebank @goldenhanna @harrysbbby @copper-boom @void-maybank @rudys-pankow @x-lulu @serrendipiity @storiesbymads @danicarosaline @allie-mcginn @thistreasurehunter @k-k0129 @annedub @urlocalbrochure @freeshavocadoooo @Katiaw2 @ceestlaviemylove @wicked-laugh @kamcrazy123 @myrandom-fandomlife @clio-muse-of-histories @yeehaw87 @manip-maker-blog @rudypankow-whore @iichydobrik @jjtheangel @httpstarkey @peqchyharts @myhead-myuniverse @normatural @vindictive-hearts @Spycemilk @loveylangdon @mybrainiswhack @judayyyw @midnightmagicmusingsmain @jjsmaybitch @little-ms-awkward @obxmxybxnk @5am-cigarette @xinsonyax @gabbismith5 @heyitsmeimdead @fullpanicmode @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @o-b-x @iamaunicorn4704 @jj-maybabe @jjmaybangme @newhopenessie @the0uterbanks @llvinlavidaloca @ponyboys-sunsets @angvelics @lilpeekabooze @thatbloodymuggle @couldyouspeaklouder @apoguecalledjj @collectiveuniverses @starkeymarkey @goldenharryvol6 @teenwaywardasgardian @milamaybank @merchantjjreply @lustgardn @curlybrownhairedboys @booksandshish @ilymarkchan @ihatemyself21 @bailspogue @deathcompass @alternativehp @keepingupwiththepogues @kylosleftbuttcheek @stargazingstarkey @rafescameron @katrynec @ilovejjmaybank @teamnick @jjaybank @kiarascarreras @sunwardsss @fandomtravels @honeybunchcalum @ughitslizzy @sleepyhollands @adanielle8 @jeyramarie @paradigmax @whoseblogsthis @sweetlysilent @outerbanksbro @i-mmunity @extratragic @jjbaby @jj-bxby @jjmaybanksbaby @drewswannabegirl @letsgotothehop @sugarcoatedcalum @wiensrsoldier @serious-killer @karleeluv @jj-baebank @secretmoonphantom @outerbankslut @obxsummer @poguesrforlife @broken-jj @sortagaysortahigh @erraaxh @haharudy @kimxft @rubjeffo @hannahrisacher @family-buisnes @king-ronnoc @sexytholland @28cnn @maraseavey @jurassicjosie @bolaurel @perfektionsmakel @masintahin @everyonesababe @rudysmaybank @koufaxx 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@unknown-user84 @jooorrdd @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @unfortunatekiwitrash @celestialmaybank @kayleea122 @mynmuses @trashmouthpogues @natalie-kate-98 @maraudersandco @millssssonline @vaswn @lindysti @casper17 @babyybesson @itsagurl @everyonesababe @kaitieskidmore1 @aesthetic-lyssa @crispywolftreeflower @yesp0ny @broken-jj @beth-winchester21 @diverdcwn @cozyshawn @pcterparxer @comphersjost @bbygrlsyd @lovelynerdytraveler @obbx-tings @m-a-d-e-l-i-n-e-e @curlybrownhairedboys @jjshands @rachelfizzyhizzy @outsider-at-hogwarts @Magcongirl52 @drewsstarkey @chocolaeth @damnobx @hoeforshows @lemur46 @honestlywtfisgoingon @beth-winchester21 @bruhjustdont @iknowwhatihavefound-blog @jillianwritesstories @sleepyhollands @etherealtony @sofianunes10 @slytherinquill @invocacao-dos-unicornios @coloradogirl07 @no-shxt-sherl @maybankobx @jjmaybankg @itsallblueblackwhereimfrom @hookedinto-fictionalworlds @jjbanks @that-one-weird-fangirl2020 @rewindlr @beautyandthebleh @kenziemcnicol @dirtyskittlewater @luvbabyjade @p0gues4l @sunfl0w3rvol6 @theloveofpeterparker @ebonyyyy-e @niagaratears @alilybush @julesclues @aleeciamackenzie @outrbanxs @trinnwazheree @fangirlika @hotel-colson @talksoprettyjjx @106sami @ohbabycal @takisss @spam-to-follow @toloveortobeinlove @alexis-marrt022 @lovingonshawn @drw0301bieber @diverrdown @finelinebitch @amortiff @velvetxvignette @emptycanvasposts @kcxxlove @its-fun-to-fantasize-4 @thedemonsimpofcamphalfblood @Sugarglohss @strawberrydonkey @heavenlymama @cxrlyrxe @thotbutpurple @ibookofstars @kayladownunder @jjaybank @cyrrusmreadings @omigodbeckylookatherbutt @obx-imagines-07 @lussuria-zephyr @yeahilljustgo @morganoddwalker @junisfics @trash-can-kristin @hippyexplosions @June549.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #rudy pankow x reader #rudy pankow #obx #outer banks #my writing #anywayyyyyyyyy #entertain my oc thx

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riathedreamer · 3 years

Text

You asked for it: live thoughts from Ria and @creatrixanimi watching RvB Zero.

So, after having a movie night the day before (third movie night in a week, actually, we are very productive) watching Neil Breen movies and “Cool Cat”, it was now time to touch upon Zero. Sadly, Zero does not belong in the “so bad it’s good” category, but alas, Ria had to spoil Haley’s innocence.

This is not a proper edited review, but just snippets of our live reaction while watching the thing together. We are not drunk, but this continued way past midnight for Ria, so maybe her brain isn’t fully functioning. Also, Ria is a potty mouth because cursing is easy when it’s not your native language. Enjoy.

Episode 1:

Ria: I can’t figure out if they were trying to do a Grif and Simmons parallel with those two random guards talking outside, the ones with the Wash retconning.

Haley: Their armor doesn’t cover their noses.

Ria: That’s gotta be cold. Frostbitten noses.

...

Haley: There is no exposition. Like, it feels like the writers had their idea and know what is going on, but we don’t so it just feels weird and random. It feels like a Marvel movie.

Ria: Is that a compliment? I haven’t watched Marvel.

Haley: Not a good one.

...

Ria: This episode isn’t that bad in itself. But it’s just there to establish that the OG characters can’t beat this new villain, but the new guys can, and, urgh.

...

Episode 2:

[The shot focuses on One’s behind.]

Ria’s dirty mind: Ass.

...

Ria: STOP CALLING HIM DAVID.

...

Ria: I like this character, but I don’t remember his name.

Haley: Raymond.

Ria: This is why we need a name system like with the Freelancers and states. Should’ve just been numbers all the way through. Except Eleven, you fucking whore.

...

Haley at the sight of Raymond’s phone: It’s so big.

Ria: It’s the future. I can believe it.

...

Ria: Here’s the thing driving me crazy. Axel is a normal name in Denmark. But like, only old people use it. I know two Axels and they are both older than eighty. So that’s when I think of when I see Axel.

...

[After the whole training montage where we are introduced to the characters, we are still confused.]

Ria: I can’t remember their names.

Haley: Well, they didn’t show all of them. They didn’t show One.

Ria: They did!

Haley: They did?

Ria: Wow. So we got all that tell and no show, and we are still confused.

...

Haley: When it comes to genre, it’s actually not that bad with the narrated tell and don’t show. If it wanted to be a cheesy/bad action movie, that’s a trope that’s used relatively frequently in the genre. It’s a bad action movie. But it’s not RvB. It’s kinda like a particularly bad Marvel movie.

Ria: You’re really not selling me on the Marvel movies tonight.

...

Ria: I know I’m just a sucker for Joe, but I keep thinking of s15. Like, here they just use the files as a cheap way to introduce the characters. But like, in s15, Dylan just read out loud Grif’s file, and it was not to introduce him, but like, to show the complexity of the characters and go against the files? I don’t know, it just seems way cooler now.

...

[After the whole “what’s East’s deal” scene, we were so confused. Literally paused for five minutes trying to figure who was whose dad and why and what. How many daughters did Axel have? And where are they? We were just lost. Future Haley: Him waxing poetic about his daughters while watching the two girls in his team train confused me like I thought he was talking about East and One and couldn’t count sdfghjk. Future Ria: I’d even watched the show before and I was still confused.]

Ria: I can’t figure out if they’re too fast or if we’re just stupid.

Haley: It’s like I’m trying to remember the details but it all slips through my fingers.

Ria: The whole Zero experience is to feel too old for this shit.

...

Ria: STOP FUCKING CALLING HIM DAVID

...

One: This is how it’s done, grandma.

Ria: Fuck you.

...

Episode 3:

Haley: People would like it if they love dumb action shows. It works as a mindless action show.

...

Haley: So this is a temple?

Ria: I hate the worldbuilding. Is this the same planet as before? Like, Chorus had temples, but it also had lore about it. Is this the same sort of temples?

Haley: So shouldn’t this temple have its own key? Why do they need to include Tucker? It makes no sense for the temple to require a totally different sword from a different planet.

Ria: So they could beat him up ‘cause OG characters are weak now.

...

Haley: I don’t like the training scenes. They are so long and boring.

Ria: This is like the third episode where they are training. Holy shit.

...

Haley: It’s not that bad. But if you like Red vs. Blue, it’s not something for you. They aren’t really comparable.

Ria: I just don’t understand what they wanted to continue for Red vs. Blue. Like, it’s not the worldbuilding or the plot or the characters. I just don’t get it.

...

Haley: Raymond is the best character.

Ria: I like Raymond.

Haley: He’s RvB. He should be the main character.

...

Ria: Did East just use the “I’m not like the other (girls)” line?

Haley: I don’t like her. She’s a brat. Why did Carolina have to apologize? They were just training, this is something she’s gonna have to deal with on a daily basis lmao.

Ria: Didn’t Carolina have a cast on her arm? It’s gone now. I can’t keep up with the timeline. So, she’s healed, but how long was Wash gone? They are so vague about everything. Worldbuilding, timeline, motivations.

...

Ria: …Did Carolina just say she’d suit up? While wearing a full armor suit?

...

[And this is where the cursed part takes place. To talk, we’d often pause the thing. Here, I randomly paused during the introduction for Starlight Laboratories. There’s a desk in the shot. With a fucking marker on it.]

Haley: That’s a Crayola marker. That’s a Crayola marker on the table.

Ria: Glad we can appreciate the details by pausing.

[Haley then missed the entire Axel flashback scene because she was too busy looking up pictures of Crayola markers. When this is revealed, Ria lost it for like, three minutes]

Haley: I had that marker as a kid.

Ria: So 4/5 stars for the marker?

Haley: They were supposed to smell like blueberries or something but they just smelled like chemicals.

Ria: This is the most excited we’ve been about Zero so far.

[Future Haley: I was literally laugh-crying you dont understand. This was the best part of the show.]

...

Episode 4:

Ria: They all have super powers. It’s so weird.

Haley: I keep thinking they are gonna explain stuff. But they don’t. So I’m just confused.

...

[Haley has now brought forth all the markers in her room to find a Crayola one. She drops them all on the floor. Ria loses it again.] [Future Haley update: I found a yellow one it smells like lemons :)]

...

Ria: They are all glowing and have super powers. It’s weird. Like, I know we had super powered armor before but that was all connected to AIs. I don’t get how all of this works. They don’t have AIs.

...

[We both agree that we enjoy Raymond and Tiny. Bless them.]

...

Ria: It’s weird. The dialogue is so oblivious, it comments on its own mistakes. Like, Carolina just acknowledged Wash has had a computer in his head before. But they don’t acknowledge the whole canonical lore about his trauma regarding computers in his head and why he’d hate this. Same with the name David. They just noticed that it’s his first name and that’s how they’d show how close Carolina is with him, but they didn’t acknowledge the canon lore that Wash dislikes people using his first name.

...

Episode 5:

Haley: Why didn’t they use Locus’ sword instead. It’d make more sense. He’s the one travelling around planets and wanting to help people??

Ria: What’s the worldbuilding here? Is Tucker on the same planet? Is this Earth? Chorus?

...

Haley: Gotta love it when they make Tucker hit on teenagers.

Ria: Oh god why did they make East 18.

...

Haley: They should have done something with the Warthog song, even if that’s a Red Team thing.

Ria: I miss Red Team.

...

Ria: Wait, so if these three swords are connected, why can the two first ones move by themselves and they have like super powers connected to them? When Tucker’s sword is just boring? They didn’t even make a joke about how the two new swords are longer than Tucker’s.

...

Tucker: I’m fine, I have my sword.

Ria: That line is so tragic in hindsight.

...

One: It’s Tucker. He is dead.

Carolina: Oh my god.

Haley: *laughs her ass off*

...

Haley: I don’t understand why anyone is doing anything.

Ria: Your brain is still thinking about that fucking marker.

...

Episode 6:

Ria: The dialogue did it again! Wash just said “amazing medical tech”. Like, he points out a plot hole. Because that amazing tech can heal brain injuries and bring people back from death, but East had to be tortured for years to heal her vague illness? Like, why couldn’t their amazing tech fix that.

...

[While watching the design of the temple.]

Ria: It looks like those are just plates glued to the wall. Dinner is served.

...

Haley: There is no logical reason why they brought in Tucker. His sword isn’t even from this planet.

Ria: To lure in fans.

...

Haley in a very sad voice: The speech wasn’t good.

...

Episode 7:

Ria: Is all of this happening on the same planet? They keep driving. The worldbuilding is so weird. At least earlier RvB made a joke about how they could just drive everywhere. This is like a big desert, a training base, laboratory, city and temples and Tucker’s workplace, and I don’t know if it’s even on the same planet.

...

Ria: Diesel is just standing there waiting while they outfit Carolina.

Haley: It’s like a video game.

...

Ria: The temple’s walls are filled with runes.

Haley: It feels like a free/bought asset. It doesn’t even look like the temples on Chorus. It looks like something in WoW or something like that.

Ria: It’s driving me mad. I can read runes! Imagine a big boss fight and the freaking alphabet is plastered on the walls. That’s what I’m looking at.

...

Haley: Zero is such a boring villain. It’s not interesting when we don’t know what this “power” actually is or what he wants to do with it.

...

Ria: That’s the helmet Spencer wore.

Haley: Oh god I forgot about him.

Ria: So did the writers.

Haley: Spencer should have been the real villain.

...

Haley: *sees the random model of the temple guardian alien* I miss Santa.

...

Episode 8:

Ria: The aliens are just dancing in the background while Carolina is fighting Diesel.

Haley laughing: Oh my god, they are. They are just jumping up and down.

...

Ria: So, the villain just turned overpowered, and the solution is that Raymond just flicks a switch we haven’t heard about and now the heroes are overpowered too?

Haley: It just makes them shiny. And like... they don’t even use the “power”, they don’t fight him with their powers which only some of them have, they just shoot their ordinary guns at him while doing unnecessary flips.

Ria: I just remembered Church’s dick switch. That had more dramatic buildup.

...

Axel: You’re too cocky for that.

Ria’s dirty brain: Cock.

...

Post Zero thoughts:

[Ria returns from bathroom break and Haley is proudly showing off her marker over video cam.]

Haley: There was too much going on so I just focused on the marker.

Ria: So how many stars would you give it?

Haley: It’s really bad.

Ria: How many stars for marker representation?

Haley: Three out of five. It was only there for a second.

...

Haley: In the beginning, it wasn’t that bad. It was dumb, but also fun and sorta cool. But then it just went on for too long and they didn’t explain anything properly and it stopped being fun really fast. But I can see why some people might enjoy it. Like, you’d love it for its action but only that. Not for plot and/or the character writing.

Ria: I think my biggest problem is the worldbuilding. They kept everything so vague because they didn’t want to connect, not really. Like, where is this happening? When? Why are Carolina and Wash there? Like, the motivations for all the characters were so vague as well.

...

Haley: Raymond was great. He had personality and some good lines. And he felt like RvB. Like, he used his brain and actually got shit done, but he also wasn’t over-powered. He followed a similar character arc to what the Reds and Blues had. He sucks at fighting but he’s efficient and smart in a practical way with his rocket launcher. He does the most and he doesn’t stop being a goofball! Even Zero was focused on stopping him the most at the end. And he didn’t need to do any stupid flips.

...

Haley: The borrowed assets annoyed me. It ended up looking stupid, like, the temple felt more like fantasy than science fiction. And nothing like Chorus. And normally, RvB doesn’t have to worry about being cohesive because all of the designs are from Halo so it all makes sense and it’s connected. But this is just so random it feels distracting, I feel like this is a big reason people felt that Zero was so jarring… but on a subconscious level. It just felt off and there was no cohesive design. Also everything looked like it was made for video games and not modified at all for the show.

...

Haley: Honestly I was optimistic at first but then I got confused really fast and it kept getting worse because it was so fast. They didn’t explain stuff properly or at all. Like, they made it too big. Should have been smaller. I thought going with the “Starlight Labs is evil and needs to go down” plot would have been A LOT better and would have tied together multiple aspects of the story that the temple plot didn’t.

Ria: If I had the power which I don’t, I dunno, but I if the main point was to introduce new characters, I’d keep them tied to lore and worldbuilding we already know. So we don’t get so confused and it doesn’t feel so disconnected. Like, I’m still in love with the idea that it should have been Carolina on Chorus dealing with these soldiers who have been fighting all their lives and now don’t have to do that anymore. But maybe Chorus still needing an army, and that’s why she is training it. I don’t know, but like, familiar, build on what we know. And then they wouldn’t be superpowered, but like, just competent-ish but normal soldiers and we’d get to know them better, but I just think Zero just wanted them to be these super cool soldiers even better than Carolina so they could pull off all the fight scenes. ‘Cause it’s all Zero has going for it. The fight scenes. It’s its strength and weakness ‘cause they sacrificed everything else to look cool. And it does. But it’s boring and there is nothing else going on.

...

Ria: I’m still so annoyed about the temples. Why are they there? Like, on Chorus it was a big thing, also plotwise, but it had lore connected to it and the worldbuilding explained it. So, where are these temples? A different planet, right? Is it the same aliens? Are people just cool with the temples? Why haven’t they been explored before. Chorus made sure to explain all of that.

...

Haley: The West and East scene-

Ria: Feast.

Haley: Confused me. ‘cause West didn’t really regret anything. He just said why he did it. And then all of the sudden East forgave him and rejoined the team. It was so weird. He doubled down on the thing she hated him for so much I was like “Wow he’s kinda an asshole” and then all of a sudden she was on his side? What?

...

Haley: Zero does its job if you want action and nothing else. And it’s not RvB. Don’t watch it if you like RvB. And I just want to acknowledge that we are nitpicking. Quite a bit. I’ll admit that. But, I wouldn’t nitpick the other RvB seasons the same way because the old RvB never took itself seriously the way Zero did.

Ria: I agree. We are nitpicking. But like, that’s why we have the movie nights.

Haley: But we are also allowed to criticize it. You can do that with any season. And with the other seasons, you could nitpick it and you can find stuff you don’t like, but there are always stuff you do like or that other people like. I just can’t find anything about Zero that I like. Besides Raymond.

Ria: Yeah. Like, I really love 15. And it had so many flaws people pointed out. And when it comes to criticism and Zero, I just don’t see many points about why people like it. They are allowed to do that though. But, like, we could have a movie night where we watch the Chorus seasons and we’d nitpick so much because we both have issues with it, but there is still so much stuff we’d still like.

Haley: I like Raymond though. He’s like Grimmons lovechild.

Ria: No. Fuck you. Don’t put that in my brain.

...

Haley: Raymond being in this… I want to say it feels like the Freelancers seasons but if Grif was part of the team or something. But that’s just “Hit and Run”. *laughs*

Ria: NO! That’s cursed. Shut up. Also, the Freelancers were way better written.

Haley: And those seasons made better sense.

Ria: And like, the Freelancer seasons did the thing with change of tone and have these new and super cool characters and fight scenes. But they kept half of the seasons to be around the Reds and Blues so we still had the humor and the dumbasses, and Zero just, it didn’t connect.

...

Haley: So, I have some thoughts on Zero.

Ria: I know, you fuck, I had to write them all down by hand.

Haley: I like bad movies, actually, but Zero didn’t stay fun, so no, I didn’t enjoy it.

...

Ria: Do you forgive me for making you watch Zero?

Haley: Yeah.

Ria: What should we watch next?

...

Also, Haley dressed up her dog for the event and you all deserve to see her:

#we asked you answered we delivered #like most of these are just stupid observation #but we do have some proper reflections on the good and the bad and the ugly #and markers!#rvb zero critical

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nerdyfangirl67 · 4 years

Text

Driving Rain - NCIS Reader Insert

Pairing: Tony DiNozzo x reader

Warning: angst, hurt, language

Word count: 2025

The reader admits her feelings to Tony, who doesn’t know how to respond. She flees, driving to somewhere unknown, at least until she tells Gibbs where she is, who gives Tony a good head slap and sends him after her.

A/N: This idea came to me while listening to “Driving Rain” by Slash featuring Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators. Thus, the name of this one is Driving Rain.

Sitting at your desk, you try to find some courage for what you were about to do. With Tony being the only other person in the bullpen you had decided now was the time to tell him about your feelings for him.

Taking a deep breath, you stand and brush the wrinkles out of your slacks. After procrastinating for a few moments, you move to the front of Tony’s desk.

He lifts his head, his alluring green eyes catching yours. “What’s up doll?”

You internally cringe at his nickname, one he had been calling you for years, despite your protests. “Tony. I-I don’t know how to really say this, so I’m just going to go for it.” He opens his mouth to speak but you place a gentle finger against his lips. Although your action has your heart racing and your head feeling faint, and has Tony raising his eyebrows at you, you make yourself continue. “I like you a lot, more than I like my other coworkers. Actually, I think I’m in love with you. And I have been for a while now. I just couldn’t keep it a secret anymore.” You finish your rambling and slowly remove your finger from Tony’s lips. You have to stop your brain from wandering to the many scenarios you had imagined with those lips.

Tony’s mouth falls open but nothing comes out. You wait for a few beats before begging, “Please say something.” His eyes search yours, but he still doesn’t reply. You feel fear and rejection creep up and start to choke you up. Finally, you can’t take the quiet so you shoot out a quick “It’s fine” before grabbing your jacket and rushing for the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator. You hear Tony call your name, but you don’t stop.

You quickly make it to the parking lot, scrambling for your keys, and unlocking your car. The thought that you would have to face Tony again in the morning made you feel sick. A quick, impulse decision has you driving in the opposite direction of your apartment, with no destination in mind. After your phone rings twice, you shut it off, not wanting to think about the excuses Tony may have to tell you.

After driving for a few hours, without paying attention to where you are, you decide to stop for the night. Upon entering the hotel you discover you are in Henderson, North Carolina. Knowing that you weren’t going to return to work the next day you decide to call Gibbs, rather than have him struggle to figure out how to read your text.

He picks up after the first ring. “Gibbs.”

Hearing his voice brings tears to your eyes. “It’s me. I-I-I can’t, I won’t be at work tomorrow, or for a while.”

“Y/N/N.” His gentle voice breaks you down. Gibbs had figured out almost as soon as you did that you had feelings for Tony. And he never made you talk about it. He was just a comforting presence whenever you struggled with keeping these feelings quiet.

After collecting yourself as well as you can, you say “I told him. And he didn’t say anything. So I ran. And I ended up in Henderson, North Carolina.”

A gentle hum from Gibbs prompts you to continue. “I can’t face him right now. So I’m gonna stay here for a few days.”

Gibbs is quiet for a long time before he responds, “Take your time Y/N. Be safe and let me know where you are.”

His caring response has you tearing up again. “Okay, thanks, Gibbs.” You say your goodbyes before hanging up. After talking to Gibbs, you curl up on the hotel bed and pull the blanket over your head.

As comforting as Gibbs could be for you, the hurt and sadness from Tony’s rejection are drowning you. And all you want to do is run. Run from the hurt and the sadness. Run from the way your feelings were choking you. Run from everything and leave it all behind.

Tony’s POV:

She ran. She ran before I could tell her how I feel and it’s my own damn fault. I couldn’t find the words to tell her and she left.

I had come into the bullpen this morning, hoping to see her so I could tell her that I fucked up. To tell her how I really feel. I had even made reservations at one of her favorite restaurants for the evening in hopes of taking her on a date.

She wasn’t there when I got to my desk, although Gibbs and McGee were. As the morning progressed, she still didn’t arrive. The thoughts of doubt and fear finally made me stand and walk over to Gibbs’ desk.

“Hey, Boss. Do you know where Y/N is by chance?” I ask, facing his desk.

He turns his attention to me before standing up and walking around his desk. A moment later, his hand slams into my head. Hard.

“You bone head. She loves you. Now go get her.” He gruffs out. “She is in Henderson, North Carolina.”

I stand there, dumbfounded. “Go Tony.” McGee pipes up behind me.

“Okay, I’m going.” I rush towards my desk, grabbing my jacket, and swipe the keys off my desk. I ran down the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator. As I step outside, I’m greeted with pouring rain. It’s coming down so hard I can hardly see my car.

Nevertheless, I get to my car and start driving. Getting on the road, I realize that I can’t see much through the driving rain. But knowing that Y/N is out there, thinking I don’t love her keeps me driving. Knowing that when I stop driving, I’ll be able to take her in my arms and really be home has me driving faster, despite the lack of visibility.

Your POV:

You didn’t sleep much that night and by one in the afternoon of the next day, you still hadn’t moved from the bed. Deciding that you are done feeling sorry for yourself, you trudge towards the shower.

You turn the water on hot and spend the next twenty minutes with the water blasting over you. You had cried all your tears last night and now all you felt was numb. You were numbed by the pain and numbed by the feelings of rejection. Eventually, you shut the water off and wrap one of the small hotel towels around you. Knowing you didn’t have a change of clothes, you weren’t too excited to leave the warmth of the bathroom.

As you enter the room, you spot a figure sitting on your bed. “What the fuck?!” You scream, retreating back to the bathroom and locking the door. A moment later a knock sounds on the door.

“Whoever you are, I have already called the police.” You lie through your teeth.

“Doll, it’s me.” Tony’s husky voice echoes through the door.

“Tony?” You open the door a crack and peek out. Tony is standing nervously in front of the door.

Your heart plummets and then feels like it finally restarts for the first time since you ran out of the bullpen yesterday. You almost grab him in a hug, but you remember you have nothing but a tiny hotel towel on.

“Um…, I don’t have a change of clothes.” You mumble.

“I think I have something in my car. Let me go check.” He gently states before leaving the room. He is gone for maybe five minutes, in which you sit idly on the toilet in the bathroom, a stream of negative thoughts running endlessly through your mind. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t make yourself think about the one positive thing you had been hoping for since yesterday. If you got your hopes up, and Tony let you down, you’d be crushed all over again.

You hear the door to the hotel room shut, followed by a knock on the bathroom door. “I’ll just leave these here for you Y/N.”

You wait a moment before opening the door. You grab the clothes, a pair of gym shorts and a NCIS sweatshirt, and quickly get dressed. You towel dry your hair before opening the door and moving into the “bedroom”.

Tony, having lost his jacket and shoes, was leaning against the headboard of the bed, watching the evening news. His hair was tousled and wet from the rain and you could see the five o’ clock shadow gracing his face from where you stood. All you wanted to do was curl into his side and have him wrap his arm around you.

You clear your throat, partially to get his attention but mostly to prepare yourself for what you were going to say. He powers off the TV before standing and walking towards you.

“Tony, I don’t know why you are here. I said what I needed to say.” His increasing proximity to you was making it hard to think, so you took a step back as he stopped in front of you. “And you apparently said all you needed to say as well.”

His eyes, usually so soft and playful, were hard and serious as he looked at you. His brow was furrowed and his shoulders tense. Seeing him like this made you realize how much you loved his joking, relaxed side, even when it wasn’t appropriate.

“No Y/N.” Another indication that he was serious was the lack of any of the nicknames he had concocted for you. “I need to say something now. I fucked up. I let you leave thinking your feelings were one-sided, which they aren’t.” He steps closer to you, until you are close enough to reach up and kiss him if you want, which you really did.

His breath fans across your face as you maintain eye contact with him. “Tony, what are you saying?” You want to hear him say it, not just imply it.

“Fuck, I’m in love with you Y/N. I have been since the day you walked into the bullpen and shot down my cheesy pickup line.” He pauses for a moment, but you don’t say anything. “I love the way you laugh when you think something is funny. I love how you look when you are concentrating at your desk. I love how your face lights up when Gibbs listens to you and how excited you get when you and McGee talk nerd. I love fucking everything about you. And I really fucked it up when I let you leave, but now you know how I feel.” His speech has tears springing to your eyes. You’d never realized how much he had been observing you. Frankly, you thought it was just you doing that.

You search his green eyes, softer now than they had been earlier, before you close the space between you. “Tony, I love you.” You watch as the corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiles before reaching up and pressing your lips to his.

He doesn’t move his lips right away but when he does, he presses hard against your mouth. His hands are everywhere; in your hair, on your arm, at the small of your back, even on your face.

The kiss continues until both of you pull away for air. Your heart is racing and you are gasping slightly from the kiss. You have both your arms wrapped tightly around him and one of his hands rests on your face. “Jeez, if I’d known telling you would have led to that, I would have told you a long time ago.” Tony jokes, even though there is a ring of truth to his words.

You smile, before asking him, “How’d you get into my room anyway?”

His smile turns into a smirk as he steps out of your embrace. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black case you know all too well. “I am an NCIS agent, after all.”

Seeing his less serious side return, your heart swells and you realize that you are finally home.

#ncis #ncis imagine #ncis reader insert #reader insert #imagine #ncis x reader #x reader #tony #tony dinozzo #tony dinozzo x reader #tony x you #tony x reader #tony dinozzo x you #fandom #ncis fandom #fanfiction #ncis fanfiction

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