I forgot to say this when I first watched the show but I wanna say in jatp when julie's dad was angry about her missing school, the kids didn't really recognize it fully. Carlos said it as an afterthought and you know what he said? He said "careful, dad has that face like when google maps tells him to turn on the wrong street". Not "careful, dad's in one of his moods" or "careful, he's angry" like I would've said when I was that age about my father. Their dad was rightfully upset about her missing class, but when julie apologized he calmed down and accepted. We stan Julie and carlos' dad so fucking hard, as hard as he's trying to father well.
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beef: what would this apartment cost??
iskall: 32 diamond blocks. a month.
beef: [makes a noise like a small pig choking on a french fry]
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Every SandRay Scene (40 ¦ ??) (feat. BostonNick)
B: "Hey Ray."
R: "Ton, you bastard. What are you doing here?"
B: "I think that's my line. What's with you and Sand?"
R: "What? We're friends. and you and Nick?"
B: "I'm here to talk about that hostel project."
N: "Sorry, dude. I interrupted you guys again. I'll be in my room."
B: "Hey, hang on. Since we're all here, let's party."
N: "You're just bothering them, come on."
S: "Hey, it's alright. Let's drink."
B: "Sand. This ain't your typical stuff, isn't it?"
...
All: "Cheers!"
...
R: "The cookie's getting to me."
S: "I told you to hold back."
R: "Good thing I'm not driving. Can I stay over?"
S: "More often than this I'm going to start making you pay rent."
R: "Go ahead."
N: "Sand. Can I ask you something? Are you and Ray going out?
You two talk all lovey-dovey like you're a thing, you know?"
S: "Look at his face. Look how squishy he looks.
He looks just like a dog my mother has."
R: "You jerk, I'm not a dog. And I'm not his boyfriend."
B: "Ray. I bet Sand likes you. I can tell."
R: "Really?"
B: "So what is it, Sand? Do you like him? My buddy here has both the looks and the dough. His type is hard to come by, you know?"
S: "Now that you said that, my answer has to be yes now, doesn't it?
But if you really want to know, ask me again when I'm sober."
R: "Do you like me?"
N: "Oh, oh, oh? Kiss him. Kiss him, man. Kiss."
B: "Even if you really like Ray, I doubt it will work out between the two of you.
Ray's whole ass is owned by Mew."
R: "What the hell are you saying?"
B: "Sand doesn't know you've been in love with your best friend for years?
But Mew is with Top now. Someone beat you to it, man. What a shame for my pal. Oh, wait. My bad. I remember you and Mew making out.
Did you take his virginity?"
R: "Ton, what the shit are you going on about?"
B: "Oh? I saw everything. I took some photos, actually."
R: "What the hell did you do that for, bastard?"
B: "What? I just want to keep track of my best friend's romantic moments.
Was I wrong?"
R: "'Keep track'? Jerk."
N: "Hey!"
S: "Hey, Ray!"
N: "Ton. You're drunk. Stop it!"
B: "Sand has every right to know Ray is in love with Mew. They even screwed.
But good thing you came along, Sand. He needs to get over Mew."
R: "What does it have to do with you?"
B: "Then why the hell did you get so mad? If you're not in love with him anymore, then why did you get so mad? Oh... Are you going to be two-timing."
S: "Ray, stop!"
N: "Ton, enough!"
S: "Stop! Go to your room! I said go to your room!!"
N: "Let's go."
R: "Nick? Let me warn you. If you plan to fall for him, your life will be miserable.
Because the likes of him don't know how to love anyone but himself."
N: "Crap."
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Sand & Ep11
I keep remembering this ask I got a while back, and I think it's important now more than ever.
If I was Sand, I personally would not give Boeing the time of day for what he did to me. I would be livid. I would never speak to him again.
But Sand is not me. Sand is more forgiving than is probably healthy for him. Even though it is something I hope he works on for his own benefit, it doesn't change the fact that for the moment, that is who he is. That's his flaw just as much as it his strength.
Caring for people is generally regarded as a positive trait because it is, but there's a such thing as caring too much for people who do not show that same care back to you. That is the position Sand seems to find himself in continuously. I believe Ray does care about Sand, but it took so long for that to be communicated to Sand in the way he deserves. The reason their relationship has lasted is because Sand does not demand that reassurance the way many people would, even though he might want it. Words of affirmation are not at the top of Sand's love language list.
Abandonment
I don't want to prescribe any definitive long-term childhood response to Sand from what little information we have, but given the emphasis on Sand's absent father, I think it's safe to say that Sand faces some abandonment issues. Growing up, he only ever had his mom; of course he was bound to cling to her very tightly. That is where I imagine his caring behavior has stemmed from most. Additionally, having so few people on his life that he could rely on, he learned to be a support system for others and learn not to complain for what he has.
I think Sand is in a position where he objectively understands that he is mistreated. He admits as much to both Ray and Nick. But he can’t break out of this cycle because there’s a deep-seated fear in him. A fear of being alone? A fear of being abandoned? A fear of not being good enough or “special” to anyone?
I have been wrestling with myself over the past day about Sand’s behavior in Ep11. And I’ve realized that a reason why I feel so ambivalent about it—a reason I don’t like to admit—is because it’s related to Boeing, not Ray.
Sand has received the same criticism he’s facing in Ep11 in past episodes: i.e., “He needs to know his worth and tell off Ray for what he’s doing to him.” A very similar situation has now arisen with Boeing. Sand is once again trapped in the cycle. He is nice to Boeing because even after what Boeing does to him, he cannot handle the thought of banishing him from his life for good—not when Boeing is still here and willing to engage with him. Again, we see the conflict between what he knows he should do and what he defaults to.
I empathize with Sand’s plight here, and I understand that it is difficult for him to react to Boeing and Ray. Where my frustrations arise are in the way he reacts to Ray’s reaction.
Ray is insanely passive aggressive at the end of Ep11. Sand has seen this all before; Ray lingers at the bar after being told to go home, he invites Boeing over without really wanting to invite him over, and he invites Sand to get naked in the pool with them. Each time, Boeing eggs him on by agreeing, playing up the guise of “we’re all friends here!” while simultaneously making both pointed and subtle jabs at his previous relationship with Sand (the most obvious being the “we’ve already seen every part of each other” line).
I’m of the belief that Sand is very aware of how Ray feels, especially in that ending shot when he looks between Ray and Boeing. But he does not ever confront Boeing or disengage from the situation. He’s playing into Boeing’s guise, and both he and Ray know it.
In virtually every part of Part 4, we see Sand caught in this same perpetual cycle where he lets people walk all over him. While I empathize with his struggles, as I said, there's a part of me that believes his boyfriend’s discomfort with the situation should supersede that. He committed to Ray, not Boeing, and this situation with Boeing is posing a threat to that.
This is not me saying that Sand needs to scream at Boeing and cuss him out for what he did to him. But I do think Sand needs to acknowledge much more firmly that he is Ray’s boyfriend. Sand can be nice to Boeing and offer him friendship, but he cannot allow Boeing to make advances on him and hang around with them when Boeing so clearly has other intentions. (There’s an argument that maybe Boeing does genuinely want a friendship with Sand, but after the way he talks with Sand and how he handled the TopMew situation, I don’t believe that for a second).
This isn’t easy for Sand, but when Ray is right there, he has to be more direct. Boeing was his past but Ray is his present. Much like how Sand encouraged Ray to go to rehab, I think Ray will encourage Sand to stand up for himself against Boeing.
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