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#child eater
365filmsbyauroranocte · 11 months
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Enchanted World Sculptures.
Find them in Arte Feudo’s Etsy Shop!
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connachtisgrisly · 10 months
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👹
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shldbwriting · 2 years
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Good Luck NaNoWriMos!
It's November again, and that can only mean one thing. It's time for NaNoWriMo! You spend the entire month of November working on a new novel. I finished a novel in 2011. #nanowrimo #writingcommunity #nanowrimo2022 #nanowrimo2011 #nationalauthorsday
It’s November again, and that can only mean one thing. It’s time for NaNoWriMo! “National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to creative writing.” You spend the entire month of November working on a new novel. Though I won’t be participating this year, I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. You can peek at my NaNoWriMo profile here. I’ve participated a…
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apotelesmaa · 3 months
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I genuinely think lord death was smoking the grim reaper reefer when he made 95% of the decisions on how to run the dwma because there is no way in hell anyone with a functioning brain would decide an army of preteens should be the world’s last defense line against the apocalypse. They aren’t even learning math.
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revvethasmythh · 1 month
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You know, I think it's interesting that Liliana is exasperated with Imogen for thinking Predathos is going to cause loss of life (outside of the gods), but re: Imogen's dream in ep. 68, when Imogen feels the draw to Predathos, Liliana shouts to her, "Imogen! Please run! I won't let it have you!"
Does this mean that Predathos is not a threat (as far as Liliana has been told) to common folk, but is a threat to Ruidusborn? Does this have something to do with why they are amassing Ruidusborn in Kreviris, in preparation for the mass migration to Exandria? This adds some interesting implications to her statement to Imogen about having children to look after. Does she mean the other young Ruidusborn she has personally called to the moon, as she did Petrov? "It" (presumably Predathos) can't have Imogen, but it can have the other children she's "looking after"?
She also seems to believe that there's a future for her after releasing Predathos, so it feels like she means something more than just giving in to Predathos' influence. She's done that, after all (as far as we know), and she thinks that's not the end of the road. She's trying to convince Imogen that Predathos is not a threat, but at every turn she is also telling Imogen not to get any closer because Predathos is a threat. Which one the fuck is it, Liliana?? Imogen is right for perceiving Predathos/Ludinus' plans as a threat that will cause loss of life because that is how Liliana is treating it every time she pushes Imogen away. So what IS happening with the Ruidusborn recruits that has Liliana so determined Imogen not get close to it? What does it mean for "it" to "have [them]"? And why is Liliana unafraid for herself?
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loyallieutenant · 28 days
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Hey.. my blood is black, y’now..
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ottisbuns · 1 month
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I think my favorite flavor of protagonist is "The world is soso big and soso scary, and I am small and much MUCH scarier."
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redcasper · 4 months
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Hehe comfort character doodle
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silaswritesthings · 6 months
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‘I am not in love with a criminal.’
Summary: Reader comes across an intriguing individual that captured their attention months prior.
Starring: Multi character x gender unspecified reader (the characters I had in mind as I write this are mainly Scaramouche and Childe from genshin impact, Dazai from bsd and unknown from mystic messenger but you can imagine whoever you wish to imagine)
Genre: romance, sfw, sharing an umbrella (that's not a genre but its valid!)
Warnings: A bit of cursing, implications of stalking, implications of murder, first person pov :)
Author’s note: It took me three days to write this and I hope it matches the effort I put into it. I was listening to goth and alt music as I wrote this so take that however you wish to take it. Likes, comments, reblogs and new followers will always be welcome!
Word count: 914
Part two is here
No. Just no.
He didn’t deserve a single drop of any affection from me, not a sliver of attention. He was not even worthy of the mud beneath my boots, but…
“Is there something on your mind?” His voice was accompanied by a flash of lightning. The dull sky rumbled as if the heavens were sending a warning. Bitterness gathered in my chest.
“I don’t want to talk about anything with you.” My words were almost drowned by the rain hitting the umbrella he held above our heads; we stood in the middle of the pavement, and pedestrians gave us odd and disapproving looks as they walked around us. The rain had just started but it had picked up quite a bit and I would have been drenched if it weren't for him.
His next words sounded almost hesitant. “You were more friendly when we first met.” My gaze remained fixed on my wet boots, his own facing mine, and I didn't miss the way he shifted on his feet, the umbrella shifting along with the action.
People like him, criminals, are well versed in lies and manipulation. Feigning distress wouldn't have been a hard task for him and I was aware of that. Despite knowing that, the bitterness in my chest lifted just a fraction.
“It’s been months, I can hardly remember your name.” My eyes remained lowered, watching water droplets slide down the leather of our boots.
“But you remember my face.”
“What?”
“You haven’t looked at me at all during our entire encounter yet you seem to know exactly who you are talking to you.” It was his observation not mine. Our first meeting, which happened over four months ago (not that I have kept count), remains as a vague memory in my mind. I would have voiced my thoughts but he was right. Why would anyone entertain a conversation with a stranger like this; with their eyes on the ground and heart in their throat as if they knew something that they shouldn’t.
I knew something that I shouldn’t. No- he revealed things to me that I shouldn’t have known. He’s a criminal.
My gaze lifted to his, regrettably, and my argument stopped at the back of my throat along with my breath. This was not the face of a killer but rather the face of someone that many would kill for.
His eyes lit up. “You’re looking at me.”
I narrowed my own. “You’re a criminal.”
“I’ve never been incarcerated for a moment in my life.”
“You killed people.”
“Without context, it sounds worse than it actually is.”
My right eye twitched. “Do you have an answer for everything?”
He leaned forward, his mouth curving into a light pleasant smile. “Why don’t you test that by asking me every question that comes to your mind? I’ll answer anything, everything even.”
I shifted my eyes from his, a simple look was all he needed to convince me to take his offer. “I have-" I cleared my throat, "plans.”
My eyes returned to him when he straightened himself with a sigh and took out his phone. He messed with his screen for a few seconds. When he showed me the screen, it was a copy of my schedule.
Fuck that.
I turned and walked away from him and forgot why I had even left my apartment half an hour ago. The rain was the least of my concerns because there was a lunatic who had a copy of my personal schedule on his phone. The rain was not the problem.
He spoke in a sing-song manner, “you’re in quite a rush for someone without any plans.”
Anger rose from the bottom of my chest and I turned to face him and yelled, “Fuck you!”
His mouth fell open before he burst into a fit of laughter. My blood boiled as I watched him clutch his abdomen as if he had heard the funniest joke in existence.
Now he was gasping for air.
Now more people were giving us more odd looks.
I marched to where he stood and whisper-yelled, "You're embarrassing me, stop it."
He beamed at me. “I’ll text you later since you have ‘plans’ today.” He handed me his umbrella and waved with the hand holding his phone, the screen and my damn schedule flashing at me, before he stepped backwards.
“Criminals have feelings too,” he said before he walked away with an energetic stride.
“Lunatic.” I cursed him. I was annoyed, wet and could feel the start of a headache from my now ruined day.
When I arrived back at my apartment, I paused by my door where there was a vase filled with flowers and herbs; lavenders, roses and rosemary were bunched together in a deliberate manner. I picked up the vase and read the little white card that was sticking out from the flowers. I then remembered why I left my apartment. It was to find flowers to decorate my apartment.
Do you know you smell like lavenders?
My face burned because of anger.
Right.
Anger.
I entered my home and placed the flowers on my kitchen counter with care, only because the vase looked fragile and I didn't want to clean up the mess of a broken vase.
By the time the sun had set that day, I was already facing another problem. Should I answer the text from the unknown number on my phone or call the police to spare my time and sanity?
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sleepyfan-blog · 11 days
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Clinic Day
Author’s Note: This is the next installment of Cedric's story - watch him struggle to integrate into the Husbandry AU. First. Previous. Next
Tagged: @the-pure-angel @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams
Warnings: misunderstandings
Summary: Cedric works in the Astartes run health care clinic in the town he’s found himself living in, on ancient Terra. 
In the handful of weeks that Cedric has spent on Ancient Terra, most of it has been spent in one of the eight Astartes bases in the large - for the time period's - city. As an apothecary in training, most of his days were spent working alongside older Apothecaries, learning whatever they were willing to teach him... And there was almost always a squad of Imperial Fists near wherever Cedric was working, for reasons that the young Black Templar hadn't questioned. They were the closest thing  he had to direct superiors and though they weren't Black Templars, his chapter had been founded by one of the Fists' First Captains, and their presence helped immensely.
He was curious as to why he hadn't seen any other Black Templars in the area. He'd seen Ultramarines - and several different of their successor chapters - as well as Imperial Fists - he'd spoke briefly with the Fist who'd been made Chapter Master (a stern and no-nonsense older brother who went by the name Mirros)... He'd seen plenty of Blood Angels - and members of their successor chapters (Including the perpetually unlucky Lamenters - poor, poor bastards), Salamanders, the occasional White Scar or Iron Hand... Cedric had patched up more than one pack of Space Wolves, or pod of Charcarodoons... He'd seen at least two or three of every first founded Loyalist chapter, as well as some of their most numerous successor chapters. But where were his fellow Black Templars? It was a question that had been starting to bother him rather persistently, though the young Apothecary wasn't exactly sure how to ask the question, nor to whom he should ask.
"Oi! Apothecary, are you going to continue to stare off into space, or are you going to help me?" A loud, irritated voice growled out in High Gothic, snapping Cedric out of his internal musings. 
Cedric dipped his head a little and responded to the growly Marine with a slightly apologetic "What have you come in for?" He was one of a half-dozen Astartes Apothecaries who were working at this medical clinic. It was available for both baseline human use as well as for any Astartes in need of help. Cedric was currently in medical scrubs - as the resources needed to make him a new suit of power armor were incredibly difficult to come by on Ancient Terra, and he had yet to gain the trust of the older brothers and cousins to earn any pieces of armor that might be handed down to hi-
Wait a fucking minute!
Cedric stared silently as he had finally registered the fact that the Marine in front of him, holding a small human child hostage was a fucking World Eater. 
The World Eater was a huge fucker too. Covered in jagged spikes and horns, likely fused to his armor. There were symbols of chaos carved into his pauldrons and cuirass. Cedric's eyes darted around the examination room - there was fuck-all he could use as an effective weapon against a Khornate Chaos Marine, especially with no fucking armor or real weapons of his own, but without armor, Cedric should be much faster than this demon-empowered, traitor. How the Fuck had he even gotten this far into the clinic? Or had the Chaos Marine used the miserable and sniffling human child as leverage against the Ultramarine who was manning the front desk, keeping the schedules and appointments in order? Oh. Oh fuck the chaotic traitor is talking. What is he saying? Cedric should probably be paying attention to the fucker.
"-nd that's when the sickness started. His parents say that it's just a common cold, but he's gotten those before. He's not been this sick for more than a couple of days. I'm worried that he's gotten something more serious. Look him over... Pease. He's my bonded and... I want to be sure that he lives as long as possible. Baseline humans live for such short periods of time..." The World Eater huffed, holding the tiny human close to his chest, surprisingly making sure not to spear the poor boy on his spikes. 
What... What Chaos-fueled trickery was this? If Cedric's ears weren't deceiving him, this Traitor was genuinely concerned about the human child in his arms. And given the utter devastation his legion in particular was notorious for on formerly peaceful imperial worlds - the vicious bloodshed as they drowned whole systems in tides of blood for their false god, this felt like some sort of sick and twisted cosmic joke. Cedric counted to ten in his head as he took in a deep breath and let it out before responding through clenched teeth, aiming to keep his voice calm "When did his more serious symptoms manifest? What is the child's name? I'm not sure I caught it. Does he understand Gothic, or should I get an interpreter so he can participate in his healthcare? I am... Learning the local languages, but I have only been on Ancient Terra for... I believe the term is a month and a half."
"My name is Andrew, doctor. I do understand these words, a bit. But I speak-" The child explained, before breaking off into one of the local languages, speaking faster than Cedric could parse through, especially when trying very hard not to descend into a furious whirlwind of fists and holy wrath when faced by a Chaotic Traitor. "- much better, sir."
"Well, the first thing I need to do is give you a full examination, to check you over. Then, I'm going to use this needle to draw some -" Would the word blood push the Khornate Fucker into a frenzy? Cedric did not know and had no desire to risk the child's safety "-vital fluids, for some tests. Those tests will take about an hour, and hopefully we'll be able to figure out what's going on."
"Will the needle hurt?" Andrew asked, huge brown eyes wet with tears, fearful.
"It will hurt, but only a little, like pinching your finger." Cedric answered truthfully. He was pretty sure that the sight of fresh blood would send the Khornate Fucker into a frenzy. He'd rather avoid that if at all possible so he asks, internally gagging on how polite he has to be to a filthy traitor. His teeth were still clenched as he requests "Please set Andrew down... Older Cousin. He will need privacy as I check him over and draw a sample of his vital fluids. Please wait outside the room, ideally in the waiting room-" His eyes flicked over the other's armor, trying to figure out if the other had some sort of rank to refer to him as "... Sergeant." God-emperor forgive him, but he is trying to get this child to safety. He is going to hit the safety alarm soon, too.
Benji clearly did not like his suggestion, and looked down at the tiny human in his arms "... Are you sure that I can't stay with him? Even if I set him down on the exam table and promise not to interfere with you checking him over?"
Were he not a Treacherous Chaotic Bastard, such a compromise would be fine. But Cedric wanted him out of the room. Out of the clinic, and ideally back to whatever demon-infested pit he had crawled out of. He bit the inside of his cheek, hard. Until he could taste the metallic tang of blood in his mouth "Check-ups are done with the most amount of privacy possible. Unless Andrew asks you to stay, I am asking you to leave, per the local laws we're to abide by."
"... Fine. But if you hurt my bonded, there is nothing that will stop me from getting vengeance. If there is so much as a hair out of place... Your comeuppance will be brutal. your pleas for mercy will -" The Khornate Bastard began to threaten.
Cedric closed his eyes for a moment, taking in another deep breath, trying to shove the fury at the insult that he would be the one to harm the child of the two of them threatened to crack his composure as he interrupted the posturing Traitor "The only harm done to him will be a small prick of the needle, which is necessary for the tests that need to be run. Apart from that, I have taken oaths not to harm patients unless absolutely necessary, and on Ancient Terra, I have yet to need to give a patient the Emperor's Final Mercy, and I doubt that this patient will need such. Leave. Please."
"... Fine. I'll wait in the holding room. But -" Benji breaks off into one of the local languages, clearly telling the young baseline human something. Cedric wished he knew what the fucker was saying, but the older marine was speaking far too rapidly for him to begin to guess. Once he finished giving instructions to the child he continued "I am one shout of his away and I will break your spine if you hurt him more than absolutely necessary. Understood?"
Cedric swallowed down the challenging words that were on the tip of his tongue. Now was not the time to get into a brawl with a Chaotic Traitor. Not when he was so close to separating the two of them and being able to check to see if the child was willingly with this fucker (and thus Chaos Tainted, or at least blind to the dangers) or if he was being held hostage. "You need not threaten me, sergeant. I am not the threat to this child."
"Good." With that, the Khornate bastard finally, finally left the room, closing the door behind him with a loud bang. Cedric counted to ten ins his head before raising the room's internal shielding and kneeling down, so as to be as close to the child's level as possible. He gently held the young boy's hands as gently as he could "Listen to me. You understand, yes?"
Andrew nodded, a confused expression on his face "Yes. I understand."
"Okay, so I activated a shield that means that he can't hear us talking, so please speak truthfully. Did he kidnap you? Is he holding you against your will?" Cedric asked, doing his best to keep his voice calm and soothing "My older brothers and I can help you, if that's true. Or if he's threatening your family, so that you behave."
Andrew looked startled and confused. He shook his head "No! No, nothing like that. Benji's safe, I promise! He's very nice to me an' my family! I know he looks really mean and scary,, but he really is nice. He growls 'cause he cares."
Poor child. So young, and already tainted or at least blinded by Chaos. But it was his duty to tend to anyone who walked into the clinic, no matter their allegiance, so long as they didn't try to attack anyone inside the clinic. "Alright. If that answer changes, please come see me. My name is Cedric, and I'll help you as best I can. Now, let's see what illness is making you all sneezy and feverish, hmm?"
"Okay!" Andrew responded, smiling adorably up at him.
Cedric couldn't help but return the smile as he narrated what he was going to do next during his exam of the young human - patiently answering the questions he had, and letting him look over the instruments he was using in order to complete the check-up, as he'd been instructed to. Pediatric care was not something he'd been taught before he'd come to Ancient Terra. 
~
The next several patients were adult humans. Two had work-related injuries that he helped to set initially, before giving them the paperwork they needed in order to start the process, suggesting that they speak with one of the medically-inclined Ultramarines at the front desk in case they needed help filling out the paperwork, or were confused about certain aspects of that process as it wasn't something that Cedric himself really understood. The other three adults had bad sunburns from a recent trip to the beach and an improper application of sunscreen schedule. he prescribed them burn ointments and sent them on their way.
He had just finished the write-up on the last patient he'd seen and had signaled to the front desk people that he was ready for another patient when a flirty voice called out "Oh my, well hello doctor. Aren't you a handsome, big man."
Cedric froze for a moment before spinning on his heel, shifting into a combat stance on instinct, his eyes narrowing as he spotted a fucking Emperor's Child leering up at him, his armor painted the bright and gaudy purple. The Chaos bastard's green stretched far too widely across his face and Cedric felt unclean at the way that the other was leering at him.
There was nothing visibly wrong with this... This affront to the god-emperor other than being a Chaotic Traitor, from what Cedric could see. He did not have a human with him. H could see something dripping from the other's claws, and given his last encounter with Slaaneshi-scum had ended with the death of one of his squad-mates, Cedric felt that it was entirely prudent for him to slam shoulder-first into the Emperor's Child, knocking the other off of his feet. He then pinned the pathetic excuse for a marine with one foot planted on the other's back, his gloved hands reaching for the nearest empty jar and a roll of tape. "Stay down, you Slaaneshi bastard! I don't know what nefarious fuckery has brought you here, but I will not have your poisoned touch corrupt the innocent souls here."
"Excuse me?! I came here because my -" The Emperor's Child spluttered.
Cedric shoved a stress ball in the bastard's lying mouth. It would do little to keep him quiet for more than a moment or two, but the silence was blessed "I don't care what lies you told the others to get in here, but know this, Slaaneshi whore, I will not let you corrupt the people here. I know damn well the literal poison that drips from your clawed hands, and the devastation it can bring. If you truly mean no harm, then stop struggling!" 
Surprisingly enough, the Chaos bastard did, in fact, stop trying to squirm out from where Cedric had him pinned. Not that the young Black Templar trusted his apparent compliance as he finished taping empty jars to both of the Slaaneshi bastard's still-dripping hands. He called over the vox unit that he'd been given "We need a full biohazard clean up. There's Slaaneshi poison dripped all over the floor and God Emperor knows how much he's dripped all over the fucking city. I don't think that it's a contact poison, but if it finds it's way into an open orifice or wound we're going to have problems. I've got the fucker who's secreting it contained for now, but we're going to need somewhere better to keep him... Unless we can banish him back to The Eye?"
One of the Salamander Apothecaries who was working next to Cedric's assigned exam room came sprinting out, a confused looking elderly human and their Dark Angel companion peering through the door behind him. The Dark Angel immediately picked up the human and shuffled deeper into the exam room- smart. 
"Cedric... Young one, you wanna explain why you've got an unresisting Marine in a headlock and jars taped to his hands? I know he's a Chaos Marine, but we've told you that things are... Different here on Ancient Terra. The Chaos Marines don't feel the pull of their false gods nearly as keenly here as they do where we are from. What do you mean by poison?"
"The substance that he is secreting out of his claws, it's one of the six most potent Slaaneshi poisons. If I am not mistaken, it's the Poison of Vainglory." Cedric explained, still keeping the Chaos Marine in place. He was trying not to think of why this particular fucker wasn't resisting the choke-hold, because Slaaneshi. He gives a quick run-down on what happens when someone is afflicted with the poison of Vainglory, voice cracking a little as he tries not to think of how one of his squad mates had nearly been corrupted beyond the Emperor's Light because of it. He finished with a miserable "As far as I know, there are no known antidotes or cures to any of the poisons. Allegedly there are certain kinds of witchery that can slow down the onset of symptoms... But once the vines begin to manifest, the afflicted being is beyond the Emperor's Light and is damned to be consumed upon death by the ruinous powers as their body twists into a horrible plant-homunculus that seeks to infect as many as possible with the poison. Which is why I taped jars to his hands - they are leaking the poison and while the poison can be cleansed in holy fire, I figured that the less of it is around to be cleansed, the better."
"Did you... Perhaps... Ask if he could stop dripping poison everywhere?" The Salamander asked, his voice gentle.
"... No? Why would he seek to do anything other than inflict his patron's wretched curse upon the innocent, and upon those of us who are loyal to the Emperor?" Cedric asked, blinking in confusion at the older apothecary. This was a Chaos Space Marine after all. Misery, cruelty and suffering was what they tried to spread to everyone they could get their corrupted hands on. Everyone knew that.
"That's not... I came here looking for help not to be judged by a Big Baby Boy! You are very mouthy for a Son of Dorn, aren't you?" The Slaaneshi Scum spluttered in his arms. 
Cedric tightened his grip, and put more of his weight on the older Marine "Still your tongue, traitor!"
"What help were you seeking?" The Salamander asked, looking genuinely concerned. Soft hearted bastard was going to get all of them killed. "Cedric, put him down. I know it goes against your training as a Black Templar to release a Chaos Marine you've gotten your hands on, but as we've told you earlier, things are very different here. I'll take over handling him. "
Cedric hesitated, torn between the clear and present danger that the Emperor's Child posed, and obeying a direct order from a superior who clearly had more experience in handling Chaos Marines in this context. "Sir?" 
"My claws just started dripping this poison this morning and couldn't get it to sto-how in the fuck did you get a Black Templar in the city? I'm surprised he hasn't murdered half the humans already for heretical beliefs!" The Slaaneshi Fucker sputtered, his eyes going wide - all six of them. 
"He's an Apothecary. And he's very recently appeared on Ancient Terra, and until you spooked the hell out of him, he's been adjusting fairly well." The Salamander responded, before looking directly at Cedric. "Put the Emperor's child down. Right now. I want you to go to Chapter Master Mirros and tell him what you just told me about Slaaneshi poison. That's not something I've heard of before, and will definitely be of interest to him. You've done very well. Come on now, lad. Ptu down the heretic. If he tries anything funny, I do have my flamer handy and you said that fire works to counter the poison?"
Cedric nodded, and glowered again at the Slaaneshi traitor "Yes sir, fire works very well against Slaaneshi poisons. And that which creates them." With that he lowered the Emperor's Child into the salamander's hands, before stalking off to go find Chapter Master Mirros. 
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La Zarrampla. Child Eater Ogre. Resin Sculpture.
Available in Arte Feudo’s Etsy Shop.
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bcbdrums · 5 months
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So, I got blocked for replying to this post here
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I commented and pointed out to OP that the relationship during adolescence being referred to in this very good book they show is NOT child to child, but adult to child. That is the type of attachment needed for healthy development.
I also recommended the excellent book The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog by Dr. Bruce Perry for further reading on the topic of child trauma. My comment to OP was kind and supportive, but still pointing out the error in their interpretation.
But, my comment was deleted and I got blocked.
CroMa fandom, why you in denial about the fact that Crona needs THERAPY???
Thing is... It could have been anyone to exorcise Crona. It just happened to be Maka. But Crona would have developed a dependency on whoever had first reached out to them. Maka isn't special. Maka was just the one who was there. And to really heal, Crona needs professional help. A romance or even a friendship isn't gonna magically solve Crona's problems. Neither will antidepressants or other drugs. Children need a positive adult attachment. This is well-established brain science, not opinion.
Highkey think y'all know that, CroMa stans, and don't wanna admit it cuz...you think it would sink your ship? 🤔 Idk. A kid can have friends, that is normal but that can't be their primary relationship. That's not healthy for anyone, and especially not for someone in deep trauma.
Anyway, guess polite conversation get blocked now. Oh well.
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padawansuggest · 4 months
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Like the whole 'living at home in your 20s means you don't gotta do anything' trend needs to die. Sometimes I go into dads room with the ENTIRE PURPOSE of asking dad if I can make him something for dinner lol. Some of you just have zero want to take care of family. Couldn't be me, im making him a grilled cheese just cause he asked if and said he doesn't feel well lol
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apotelesmaa · 10 months
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I think people ignore that dtk spends all of his time with former criminals Liz and Patty and has like zero parental supervision he acts super proper but I know in my heart of hearts they have done everything in their power to be bad influences on him and it worked. “He is polite” is such a blatant misreading of his character. he is actually rude on purpose because his sisters enjoy it and he does whatever they want. Patty taught kid every swear word under the sun within a month of knowing him because she thought it was funny and Liz was like ooohhhhg my god his dad who is literally the grim reaper is going to fucking kill us & then lord death just did not care because he lets kid get away with everything so she gave up on being a responsible older sibling and taught him how to threaten and intimidate people. Anything he does that seems cool is something that liz and patty taught him.
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bitchapalooza · 1 year
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If Lord Death really did make Kid exactly like a child then I think these are things Lord Death would have had to say and/or do while Kid grew up
“Isn’t this fun, Kiddo? Don’t you want to go play on the slides too— STOP TRYING TO EAT THE ROCKS??????”
***
“Where do babies come from? Er, well, you see… Oh look at that, it’s Mr. Spirit with Maka! Why don’t you two go play! …….hey, Spirit, where the hell do human babies come from?”
***
“Kid, would you mind telling Mr. Sid what you just told me?”
*absolute toddler gibberish*
“What?”
“Yeah I know! Who knew toddlers were so bad at speaking!”
*more toddler nonsense*
“Haha, right you are, son! You tell ‘em!”
***
“Now Kid, what do we say to Mr. Sid?”
“You’re gonna die one day.”
“Uh. No. It’s. It’s thank you. We say thank you after we are given a cookie, Kid.”
***
“Father, I’m getting married. Come by the playground at four.”
“Oh my! What an occasion! Who’s the lucky fellow!”
“It’s Mr. Beary. If anyone asks, it’s not for the tax write off. It’s genuine love and stuff.”
“Ah— wait. Where did you learn about tax write offs? And that’s not how those work. Kid, you’re nine, who taught you what a tax write off was???”
***
“Father! Father! I lost my toof!”
“Uh. Kid, sweetie, that’s not possible. Shinigami don’t lose teeth like humans do. We don’t even have baby teeth. What do you mean by you lost a tooth?”
*opens his hands to reveal several teeth, he’s smiling showing off the large gap in the front, missing about 3 teeth*
“Those….. Those won’t grow back…. Those won’t grow back….”
“A kid with weird blue hair hit me a baseball bat! He said he was sorry and that I was lucky because the toof fairy was gonna give me money for them. So how much can I get for 3 teef anyway?”
*Death silently sits down, head in hands as he attempts to process what the fuck his son just said*
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magicbystarlight · 4 months
Text
Please ignore this rant:
The idea that Hufflepuffs can’t be dark is insane to me because you have people who are unwaveringly loyal and who believe life should be fair and you don’t think a single one of them is going to go too far to seek justice for someone they care about when the system inevitably fails? They’re patient, hard working, and they stay under the radar. They’ll do the wrong thing for, at least in their minds, the right reasons.
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