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procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics · 2 years

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How the Witcher Characters would react to Lambert's child surprise

...having a similar temper as him

A/N: I think Lambert and his child surprise would have a very fun dynamic that would entertain the witcher fans. They’d definitely argue a lot and then go off to opposite ends of the camp to sulk like children only to make up a few minutes later and kick some ass. It would make for some amazing banter in my opinion.

Tagged: @lucyinthelibrary @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @sunndust @bloatedandlonly (hmu to be added!)

Masterlist | based on this request | requests are OPEN!

Geralt

He’s just surprised anyone can match Lambert’s verbal onslaught

Then again, he’s worried that you’ll hurt Ciri’s feelings, both of you being child surprises in Kaer Morhen

When the two of you do get in a fight, Ciri has to remind him that her grandmother is Calanthe

He doesn’t mind you raging on, he’s used to it from Lambert after all

More amused than insulted

Yennefer

Oh she’s pissed

She’s only just gotten used to Jaskier’s shenanigans, and now you

Nope, she can’t be around someone who expresses their anger so clearly

Avoids you, but will get into verbal arguments with you

The two of you are not good together, or scary together

Ciri

Literally does not care

As said, Calanthe is her grandmother

She’s thankful for some company that doesn’t treat her like a child or tiptoe around her

Great person to argue with (read: great sibling)

Perfect sparring partner

Triss

She’s so pure (at least in the Netflix series…)

Like, you CANNOT be angry at Triss

Only person exempt from your or Lambert’s anger

Which means that people flock her to avoid your anger

She doesn’t mind, enjoys her exclusive treatment

Eskel

He didn’t expect anything else

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

The tree being an angry witcher with a potty mouth

Looks on in amusement, mostly

Bets with Geralt over the outcome of you and Lambert’s arguments

Coen

He’s Lambert’s friend – he didn’t expect anything less

You won’t enrage him past an eyeroll

Will team up with you against Lambert

Also a great help for when Lambert is actually insulted

Vesemir

The first time he meets you he immediately goes

NOT THIS

Too bad, you’re there now

Does not put up with any more versions of Lambert

Finds outlets for you to let off some steam so that he doesn’t have to deal with it

#geralt #yennefer #ciri #triss #eskel #coen #vesemir #the witcher #witcher imagine #the witcher imagine #geralt imagine #triss x reader #eskel x reader #coen x reader #lambert x reader #lambert x y/n #cirilla of cintra #geralt of rivia #the witcher netflix

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pukner · 1 year

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✨masterpost of my works✨

posted to my ao3

[this post is subject to editing in the future]

Since I intend on using Tumblr a bit more now, and because I like neat lists, I thought it'd be prudent do make a little list of what I have out on ao3 right now!

My name's Looth, and I am ENTIRELY at the whims of my hyperfixations. I'm on twitter and pillowfort by the same handles, but I rarely use the latter.

fandoms: Stranger Things, Our Flag Means Death, The Witcher (Netflix) and Good Omens

[list under the cut!]

fanfiction

Good Omens:

A Nanny? In MY Summoning Circle?

A twoshot wherein Warlock Dowling meets his Nanny again, via the very normal uni student past time of trying to summon a demon with a book you found in a dodgy bookshop. Very fluffy, genderqueer Warlock.

[Complete] 2/2, 10.5k

The Witcher (Netflix):

The Viscount

[geraskefer endgame]

A 5+1 that works on the premise that "I'm from Lettenhove" is a sort of codeword in the royal class for children that have fallen out of grace with their court/family? And the higher your rank in Lettenhove, the worse the thing you have done is? Lots of Jaskier shenanigans, aggressive found family and genderfluid Jaskier.

Based on a post by @artistsfuneral.

[WIP] 3/?, 1.3k

build me up, buttercup [rated M]

[geraskefer endgame]

A longfic I've been chipping away at since 2020, dear God. Features Jaskier and Yen being fake married and co-parenting Ciri, Geralt getting adopted, the found family inherent to bards and the city of Oxenfurt, ftm Jaskier and Ciri having a well-deserved identity crisis. Also, ocs galore, gratuitous academia, and also Valdo Marx is immortal and Jaskier's annoying best friend.

Geraskefer endgame. My baby, who I will return to as soon as I am able.

[WIP] 15/?, 64k

Our Flag Means Death:

the inertia series [rated E]

a three-part series following Israel Hands as he attempts to move on from the things keeping him trapped in amber, unable to grow.

[steddyhands endgame]

[Complete] 62.9k

1. love like a dog on a leash

Izzy Hands encounters an old friend in the form of Sam Bellamy, Ed starts a barfight, and Stede learns some backstory.

All of these men are haunted in some way.

1/1, 5.5k

2. open season

Izzy Hands finds himself inexplicably being courted by various pirates to be their first mate. No one has addressed that fact that he isn't looking for a new Captain; he already has two. Steddyhands endgame, features some Jackhands.

A long look at the dynamics between Ed and Izzy, and now Stede, and the older dynamics of Ed, Izzy, Calico Jack Rackham and Sam Bellamy. Actually, it's a look at Izzy himself, and his various traumas and the way he's transitioning from being in a Black Sails type dark genre to this weird muppet land everyone else on this ship seems to live in.

7/7, 44.5k

3. red sky at morning

An epilogue, wherein the boys all contend with the future on the horizon; the good and the bad of it.

1/1, 11.9k

stranger things

[my current hyperfixation send help]

Eddie Munson and the Dreamboy

[steddie]

Wherein Eddie and El traverse the inside of Steve's mind, and encounter various Steves at different points in his life trying to find where he's hidden himself to escape Vecna's final curse.

A 5+1, featuring Steve's Scoops Ahoy flirting, a little baby Steve, and El's hair.

[Complete] 1/1, 8k.

Dustin Henderson and the Lovebirds

[steddie]

Five times Dustin Henderson was subjected to Eddie Munson being gross and sappy and in love with Steve Harrington, and one time Steve didn't even have to be there.

Features Steve being serenaded, Eddie Munson's Roger Rabbit Impression, Steve's Tiny Gym Shorts, and a good old fashioned worm conversation. Also, gay dnd.

[Complete] 1/1, 9.7k

always burning, world keeps turning

a two-part series set in a soft post-apocalyptic Hawkins, where community and family keep everyone going. And Steve and Eddie kiss about it.

[steddie]

[WIP]

1. took you for a working boy

In a post-apocalypse, mildly nightvale-flavoured Hawkins, Steve and Eddie are the only ones who aren't aware they're dating. Steve does not have a gender crisis but does have a lot of difficulty finding the words for it all, Eddie is oblivious but earnest (and running a radio show, Dr. Death Defying or Cecil Palmer style), Steve and Robin are ACTUALLY soulmates, and everyone's doing their best.

I cannot stress how much everyone thinks they're already dating. Featuring genderqueer Steve, disaster gay Eddie, scheming younger teens, and lots of stobin fluff.

[complete] 6/6, 43.8k

2. hometown blues

The sequel to working boy, wherein Gareth, Vickie and Steve's mom encounter how fucking weird Hawkins has got in their absence, and take it with varying degrees of grace.

[WIP] 3/? 17k

off-script

Wherein Steve Harrington has his sexuality all figured out, Eddie's in comically heavy denial, and everything rapidly snowballs from there.

[steddie]

1. off the beaten path

Wherein Steve figures out he's bi before Eddie figures out he's gay, but Eddie STILL manages to fall first.

Features Steve talking himself though discovering his sexuality in approximately five minutes while on the phone with a baffled Jonathan, and him aggressively flirting with the local metalhead. He's also very good at being an unreliable narrator.

It ALSO features said local metalhead (who thinks himself straight) accidentally flagging, calling Steve Harrington princess in a totally straight way, and doing the ttrpg equivalent of doodling your crush's name on a notebook over and over. Also, somehow he's convinced himself he just hates Steve.

This won't end badly for anyone, I'm sure.

[Complete] 6/6, 34.2k

2. no boys allowed

Robin Buckley has her very first Girls' Day. She gets her hair braided, consoles her heartbroken best friend, and everyone muddies the water a bit on the exact definition of what a Girl is.

Steve Harrington has a good cry about Eddie Munson.

[Complete] 1/1, 7.5k

3. here be dragons

Eddie Munson has kissed a boy, and now he has to handle the fallout. He's got to grapple with the fact that he likes boys, likes a boy, and the harrowing fact that he may have inadvertently broken said boy's heart.

Or, a rapidly snowballing fic that's become a series of character studies by accident. Features Mike Wheeler kicking Eddie's ass into gear, ruminations on being a fashion-assigned dom, Steve Harrington's Various Abandonment Issues, and a surprise Tommy Hagan.

[WIP] 6/?, 38.9k

original works:

court of law

A mildly unhinged second person pov piece about a person going to college and finding that he's trapped in a bizarre dreamscape with no memories. And a new body. He accidentally steals a cute boy's name.

Lots of shenanigans, lots of gender and bad jokes.

[WIP] 6/?, 13k

#looth yells #my writing #ref #pinned post #writing #fic #i genuinely never remember what tags i use

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kingeomer · 2 years

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Now You’re In The World

Geralt/Jaskier / rated teen / 1,849 words / ao3.

inspired by this tweet, which grabbed ahold of me right after christmas and wouldn’t let go until i wrote some new years fluff. i’m super proud of this one, i’m not gonna lie.

“Merry Christmas from the Pankratz family! Julian couldn’t join us this year so it’s just the two of us again, and the dog, of course. May your holiday be filled with the warmth of your loved ones by your side! — Alf and Jules xx”

The picture on Jaskier’s Facebook feed had caught his attention first; his mum and dad sat by the fireplace back at Lettenhove Hall, logs burning in the hearth. The family dog was at their feet, and hanging from the festively trimmed mantelpiece were three red stockings, each with a name embroidered in white thread below the fluffy white trim.

Julia, Alfred, and Jasper.

They could’ve at least pretended there was a place for their son in the family home by hanging a stocking for him.

Geralt lifted his head when he heard a weary sigh from the other side of the room, looking away from the lunch he’d been preparing to where his boyfriend sat at the kitchen counter, phone in hand as his coffee sat neglected.

“What is it now?” he asked, wiping his hands on a tea towel as he padded across the kitchen, leaning against the counter across from the musician.

Jaskier let out another sigh, putting down his phone to slide it across the surface to Geralt, showing him his mother’s oh so perfect Christmas morning without her failure of a son present to ruin things.

“Ah,” Geralt responded, swiping up on the screen to close the cursed app for Jaskier, saving him from looking at the offending picture and caption much longer.

“It’s fine,” Jaskier said, aiming for noncommittal but knowing he’d missed the mark by miles. Geralt sighed quietly, moving around the counter to wrap an arm around his boyfriend, holding him close and kissing the warm spot behind his ear that always made the brunet shudder.

“It is fine, because we’re gonna have a great holiday,” Geralt told him firmly, his large palm resting against Jaskier’s chest pressing against him, right over his steadily beating heart. Jaskier grinned to himself then, turning slightly on the stool to look up at the love of his life fondly.

“We are, aren’t we?” He leaned up for a kiss then, capturing warm, plush lips with his own and shuddering as strong arms enveloped him, Geralt stepping closer into the gap between his thighs and crowding him against the counter as his tongue slipped past Jaskier’s lips.

Yeah, they’d have a fine holiday without the judgement of the Pankratzes, thank you.

——————————

A week feels like no time at all when you’re having the time of your life.

Geralt and Jaskier were at Geralt’s family home just like every year, in the company of his two dads and his three brothers, ex wife and her new wife and their adopted daughter. Lambert had brought a guest this time, a “friend from work” called Aiden. Jaskier immediately bonded with the other outsider, welcoming him into the fold alongside himself and Triss.

Geralt, as the eldest of the brood, would pretend like he was somehow above his two younger brothers and their shenanigans. Jaskier knew better, having seen -year after year- endless drinking games, dick punches, unplanned wrestling matches, and various other stupid feats of physical endurance that usually ended with Jaskier kissing Geralt’s bruises and rubbing his aching joints on an evening. He’d had no doubts that this year would be much of the same.

The week between the two holidays was spent eating too much good food, like always. Eskel and Ciri had spent hours in the kitchen, and having roped in Aiden this year, there were cakes, fresh bread, and elaborate meals aplenty. There’d been too many drinks, too, with Jaskier curled up in Geralt’s lap, drinking a glass of wine which kept mysteriously being topped up while Geralt sipped at a glass of scotch.

When New Year’s Eve did roll around, Jaskier couldn’t help but feel a little miserable. Another year unwanted, he found himself thinking as he scrolled Facebook again, speeding past bullshit updates from his family, not caring to see their annual ball, the pretentious bullshit, and some horribly passive comments about Julian not being present.

He was torn out of his thoughts by Ciri, the preteen throwing spindly arms around his waist and beaming up at him with the full power of the sun. God, he loved this family. He ruffled his as-good-as stepdaughter’s hair before he wrapped his arms around her, hoisting her up the couple of inches he could manage and making her shriek with laughter.

He would not let his parents ruin his time, he wouldn’t.

Later, with the party in full swing and a few too many glasses of what Vesemir had dubbed White Gull, a horrifyingly strong mix of just about every bottle in his liquor cabinet that the Rivias all swore blindly was a punch, Jaskier was content. Content, but… Well. He couldn’t help but feel a tinge of regret, like he was missing something by not being at that stupid snooty fucking ball.

“What’s up?” A voice pulled him out of his thoughts as Lambert flopped down next to him, his red curls bouncing. Jaskier sighed, looking down at the empty glass in his hands before glancing up at his friend, a surprising amount of sincerity in the man’s eyes.

“‘S just this time of year,” he answered with a tiny shrug, biting his lip nervously. Lambert nodded at his side, and Jaskier almost jumped when a large hand landed on his knee, patting him gently, comfortingly.

“Family can fucking suck, mate. Especially the Pankratzes.” Lambert’s voice had a definite teasing lilt to it, and a quick glance at the redhead’s face revealed a playful smirk. Jaskier huffed a laugh in response, aiming his elbow for Lambert’s ribs and laughing harder when he made contact, knocking a winded sound from him.

“I’m a Pankratz, numb nuts!” But Jaskier was still laughing, a warm feeling bubbling through him. He hadn’t ever really felt a sense of family, not since he was a kid, but here with Geralt and his ridiculous family, he felt like he had somewhere he could belong.

“Whatever you say…” Lambert responded, bumping his shoulder into Jaskier’s with a little smirk before he got to his feet again. He reached a hand out and ruffled the brunet’s hair, cackling and walking away as his hand was slapped, Jaskier smiling to himself as he tried to straighten it back out.

The night went on as expected, with Ciri on a sugar high charging round the house and Eskel holding an ice pack to a bruise blooming on his jawbone after a stray hit from one of his brothers. Jaskier had lost track of Geralt at some point, but he’d popped back up at around eleven thirty, an arm wrapped around his boyfriend’s narrow waist and chin resting on his shoulder.

“Come here often, handsome?” Geralt joked, the smile on his face audible. Jaskier laughed brightly, patting Geralt’s hand with his own and turning his head to kiss him sweetly, lips lingering for a moment. The two men stayed like that for a long moment, swaying slightly to music.

“Hey,” Geralt’s voice was soft, close enough to Jaskier’s ears to make him shiver, and his arm tightened around the brunet’s narrow waist briefly. Jaskier hummed in response, inhaling his boyfriend’s warm scent before blinking blue eyes open slowly. He hummed in response, frowning softly when Geralt’s arm dropped away only to snatch up his hand, tugging to pull Jaskier around to face him.

“What is it, love?” Jaskier asked, a slight uneasy feeling bubbling up in his stomach. He watched as Geralt swallowed and licked his lips, honey warm eyes flickering from Jaskier’s eyes to his lips, down to their joined hands and back up again. He let out a huffed breath before chuckling to himself, a sure sign to Jaskier that he was nervous.

“I uh. I’ve been doing some thinking…” the silver-haired man started, giving Jaskier’s hands a soft squeeze as he bit down on his lower lip, tongue flicking out to wet plush pink lips before he continued. “About family, and what it means. Who family are.”

Jaskier nodded, confusion no doubt writ across his face, but he smiled all the same, encouraging Geralt to continue. He wasn’t always the best with his words, so he’d tread as carefully as he could.

“You’re family, Jaskier. My family.” Oh. Jaskier nodded softly, his eyes prickling with tears he would not shed. He watched Geralt inhale deeply before he spoke again, the bigger man’s eyes uncharacteristically wet.

“Julian Rivia has a nice ring to it, right?” Geralt was clearly aiming for casual, but the slight waver in his voice gave away his nerves.

Jaskier was stunned. Was Geralt saying what he thought he was?

“Marry me, Jask.”

Jaskier couldn’t speak. The world seemed to narrow down to just the two of them, the feeling of Geralt’s large hands holding his, the warmth of his breath on Jaskier’s skin as he waited for a response, bottom lip pulled between his teeth to worry at the thin skin.

He nodded first, his mouth hanging open slightly. As Jaskier squeezed Geralt’s hands back, though, he found his voice.

“Yes! Yes, of course!” Jaskier could feel his eyes prickling with tears as he let go of his boyfriend’s— no, his fiancé’s hands so he could throw his arms around his neck, clinging onto the other man like his life depended on it. Face buried in Geralt’s neck, Jaskier didn’t notice when the whole of his— their family turned their eyes on them, but the loud cheer from Coen was impossible to ignore.

Lifting his head with a wet laugh, Jaskier wiped the tears from his eyes before leaning up to capture Geralt’s lips with his own for a deep kiss, tongue teasing at the spot Geralt had kept biting down on before sweeping into his fiancé’s mouth. A wolf whistle had them both laughing, Geralt resting his forehead against his as he smiled.

“He said yes!” Geralt called over his shoulder to another round of cheers. The wind was suddenly knocked out of Geralt from behind as Ciri barrelled into her dad, clinging to him excitedly. She was followed by Vesemir and Filavandrel , the two men smiling proudly.

“Welcome to the family, son.” Vesemir’s voice was a warm, rumbling thing, his eyes and his smile kind and inviting. A large hand clapped Jaskier’s shoulder before he was wrapped up in the old man’s arms, and truly, Jaskier had never felt more like he belonged.

The sound of fireworks outside interrupted them, Vesemir letting go of Jaskier with a fond smile and stepping away, taking his own husband’s hand and leading their family to the open patio doors.

“Happy New Year, Geralt,” Jaskier’s voice was slightly shaky still, too many emotions running through him. Geralt didn’t seem to mind, though, instead giving the brunet another soft kiss, large hands stroking down his back to his waist, holding him close as fireworks lit up the sky.

tagging @jaskierswolf, @kueble, @thepassifloradiscord on request :3

#the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #fanfiction #fluff #manda writes

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roughentumble · 10 months

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wait oh my god! thinking about a modern pretend marriage au but Geralt has to pretend he and Yen are still married because Ciri got into a really good school but it's very old fashioned so Geralt's hiding the fact he's remarried to Jaskier and shenanigans ensue, esp if Jaskier starts calling Yen and himself sister wives bc it always makes Geralt go

YEEEEEEESSSSSSS

YYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!

#witcher tag #ogc tag #i love love love when jaskier calls yen his sister wife specifically to make geralt make a yucky cat face #yen WOULD hate it. but she also thinks its funny when geralt makes a yucky cat face. so she allows it.#shirt that says PARTNERS IN CRIME on the front and BUT NOT IN THE BEDROOM on the back #anyway. kissing you on the face. i love this so much.#oh my god ciri getting in the habit of telling stories about yen and jask interchangably #by saying ''the other day my mom [xyz]''#but then accidentally it sticks. yen will always be her momma but now jaskier is mom. momskier.#jaskier voice ''what not gonna kiss your wife goodbye before you leave for work??? 😤''#geralt letting out the most tired aggrieved sigh youve ever heard #his husband. is SUCH a dork.

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continentcakeshop · 1 year

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Reverse casting time!!!! Cakeshop peeps as Witcher characters. Go!!!

ALRIGHT I spent like 2 hours on this and the shenanigans that happened with everyone laughing and helping out... BUT ITS LONG. So it's behind a cut. It's not complete, because oh man I gotta go do errands, but we did our best!

@on-a-lucky-tide is immediately our Eskel @hungarianbee as Erland @lookoutrogue is Coen @major-trouble is the best Valdo ever but countered with @sometimesiwrite as Essi (she LIVES THO) @trickstermoose67 is Ciri ... but @so--many-fandoms is Baby Ciri (from W3, with the freckles) @jayofolympus is Serrit @frenchkey is Auckes @tumbleweedtech I'm claiming Keldar thanks @angry-cajun-lady is Gaetan @lohrendrell is Ivo @thirstyforred is Jacques de Aldersberg @stellecraft is Nenneke @round--robin is Arnaghad @piranhaincaps is Gezras @greenbirddraws is Letho @anonymousblueberry is Ves @cylin-aka-ankamo is Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy @liaonyxrayne is Dettlaff @jlyarts is Kiyan @justhereforeskel is Lil' Bleater @justleaf is Iorveth @zzzett is Isengrim @whysowlowl is Philippa @heyriel-art is Vesemir @eyesofshinigami is Shani @lokibus is Geralt (complete with horse pics) @straysinfiltrator is Meve @iboughtaplant is Gascon (she has the BEST boy) @pressedinthepages is Angoulême @jaskiersvalley is Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach obscure potato is Reynard @Towelapocalyse is Aiden @andtosatvrn is Ivar @disaster-imp is Lambert @resident-beekeeper is the beekeeper that Regis thinks is a werewolf? sdorim is an npc who wrote punny letters to Geralt @winter-fir is a farmer NPC. Her rakes are not broken, and if you press X you get an 🍎 And who you've probably been waiting for? @skaldingrayne would be Jaskier.

#cakeshop shenanigans #ridiculously long taglist

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my-jokes-are-my-armour · 1 year

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Part of the family

Well, this is a subject I'll always come back to, it seems. But when I am in a dark mood, I just need my blorbo to be loved and having all the cuddles, but he is not, so I am 😫.

I wish a lot of things for S3, but I am not waiting for them. Things will grandly depend on the thematics chosen for the main arcs. But there is one little thing I need, it's Jaskier's kind of belonging with Geralt and his "family". It's time for him to be accepted. I don't want it to happen in the hansa only.

Don't get me wrong, I love the hansa ! But I will find it heartbreaking that the only way Jaskier can be part of any group with Geralt is when everyone in it is the strangest person you would choose to be part of it.

Even if he is too "noisy" sometimes, in the books, Jaskier has no problem to fit in groups with Geralt.

That family rejection is something that irritated me a lot on the show. Because we saw a more open Geralt, calling people friends, smiling at them, caring and sharing. That was lovely. But then when Jaskier is back in his life (because Geralt chose to, may I add), nothing applies anymore for him. Sure there is the hug and the little smile. We understand that he trusts the bard. We have lovely glimpses like in S1, but where is the new Geralt with him. He is just as closed as before in front him. Like, he knows how to navigate his shenanigans to get what he needs but that's all the way he would go to connect with him.

And the bad part is that Jaskier had learnt his lesson from the mountain. He knows when to step back, when to really shut up, while he is around him. He was WAY more intrusive in S1.

In S2, he is waiting more of a clear signal that he can actually interact with him and don't overstep the threshold as much as he used to. So why he isn't rewarded for his efforts. It's like telling him he is still too big and annoying or strange.

Harder, the only moments he tries to push a little bit to connect with people navigating around Geralt, he is pushed out. The dwarves (I wish we could have a Yarpen Zigrin more like in the books btw), Ciri and the witchers.

It's pretty clear to me, from S1, that Jaskier wants to be part of Geralt's world. So, even if it's a broken family, we see Jaskier trying but he's received nothing but clear rejection.

That infamous no will always hurt me.

"Family" is one of the biggest theme of S2. I mean we see everyone struggling to find where they belong, how they find purpose in this world, etc. And this is great. I liked that overall. But why always is Jaskier the one who fails ?

It makes me wonder. Was Geralt more open to the others because they are more like him ? Does it make Jaskier the only weirdo within his world ?

Weird uncle Jaskier

I began to write this post after clipping Joey saying that he is the "drunken uncle Jaskier" in Lucca Comics and Games interview. And I remembered he said something similar in others occasions.

Source [x] and [x]

This is something Joey said about the dynamic within Geralt found family in S2 and with Ciri. I have the feeling that this is what we will get in the end. I mean if being the "weird one" can give him a place then it's already something BUT if there is no disdain or mockery, which I doubt.

Of course, Jaskier is always a bit off. He is not like any of them. But for me the weirdness is in the combination, not on Jaskier's side only. I feel like they found some balance with Yennefer and him, so why not with the others. One can only hope.

In the books, he is simply alcoholic because well.. he is. In the series, it goes more into his emotional state, especially brokenhearted. So... Something about the acknowledgement that Jaskier is the "drunk uncle" makes this more bittersweet to me. (Sorry for the extra potato gif - source [x])

#jaskier #my blorbo needs to belong with his chosen family #he deserves to be accepted #long post #my potato gifs #joey batey #still tagging nothing else #afraid that people think i am bashing geralt #i am not #this is the development i am pointing at

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ghostinthelibrarywrites · 2 years

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fake fic title, from one of my favourite songs: "It's alright (You're not a monster, just human)"

This seems like the right title for some angsty Geraskier identity shenanigans:

Geralt is cursed by a mage to turn human and forget his life as a witcher. With no memory of who he is, he starts a quiet life, maybe as a woodcutter or a huntsman.

Jaskier, Yennefer, Ciri, and Geralt's brothers have no idea where he's gone. As far as they know, he simply vanished while out on the Path. They search for him for years, and eventually accept that he must be dead.

Jaskier (who is probably part-elf or part-fae or something here) teaches at Oxenfurt for years before he grows bored and decides to return to his life as a traveling bard. He's passing through a little village where he runs afoul of bandits or some beastie and is saved by a local.

The local turns out to be none other than Geralt, but a human Geralt who has no memory of his life as a witcher, including Jaskier. Geralt brings Jaskier back to his cottage to recover from his wounds.

Jaskier is initially desperate to figure out a way to undo the curse and turn Geralt back into the witcher he knew, until he realizes that Geralt is happy in this new life. He has friends, he has a life free from pain and violence, he has no memories of the horrors of his past.

The first half of the fic would be Jaskier, and later Yennefer and Ciri as well, trying to decide if they should figure out a way to break the curse and bring Geralt back to his old self or let him live out the rest of his days in peace as a human. Meanwhile, Geralt is falling in love with Jaskier (and Yennefer as well, since Geralt has two hands) all over again.

Eventually Geralt does regain his memories of being a witcher, either because they undo the curse or because something happens to trigger his memory. The second half would be Geralt coming to terms with his life as a human vs. his newly recovered memories and trying to reconcile these two very different lives (while also being pissed at Jaskier and Yennefer for not telling him the truth earlier.)

After a lot of brooding, Geralt eventually forgives Jaskier, Yennefer, and Ciri and finds a compromise between his old life and new, maybe by living in the cottage part of the year and traveling the Path for another part.

Send me a made-up fic title and I’ll tell you what I would write to go with it

#the witcher #geraskier #or you could easily make this geraskefer if maybe jaskier and yenn became lovers while they thought geralt was dead for twice the drama #asks

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iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid · 8 months

Note

Radovid from the show and Radovid from the game are not the same character

they are both based on a paragraph of information from the book that mentions that there is a character named Radovid that will be king in the future - that it

ahhh okay, i do need to add the witcher books to my tbr pile soon. regardless! i am still so obsessed with the angst potential here. either show radovid is on his way to becoming what he is in the game (which, like, i've only played a portion of the witcher 3 so far so my knowledge is limited, but boy howdy it sure seems like things are lining up that way) or, OR, the show is an alternate universe in which radovid has the potential to become what he is in the game, but maybe things could pan out differently. maybe he can make a few better choices this time around. maybe those better choices are inspired by jaskier. who knows!

i'm just burning with the vaguest of possible fic ideas here for the show post-season-3. like, radovid's just watched his brother die and he's struggling to rule a country he never expected to (and never WANTED to) rule in the first place. he misses his brother and he misses jaskier and he's traumatized from the attack on aratuza and he can't focus on any of that because he has shit to do, and then he finds out that his advisor, his brother's advisor, is the one who killed his brother and caused all of this, and now he's not just in mourning and a little heartsick, he's fucking furious, and god! it's so easy to take that out on phillippa and then project it onto sorcerers everywhere! it's so easy to hate sorcerers and elves and the whole stupid war and just kick them all out of the castle and then the country and lock up the doors and wait until this whole thing ends! it's so easy!

but then you have jaskier, who's neck deep in this war between his work as the sandpiper and the fact that the people he loves most in the world are at the center of all of it, and, like, i don't know man! does jaskier catch wind of the king of redania being murdered and his brother being crowned king? does he get a chance to intervene early? does he not find out any of this until he starts hearing about hate crimes against elves and mages in redania? what happens then? i don't know! but i know it will hurt me!

maybe. okay run with me on this one. maybe a few months after everything jaskier hears bits and pieces about what's going on in redania. maybe he gets a few exaggerated stories and can't tell what's real and what isn't: radovid's banned all magic users and nonhumans from the capital, radovid himself is hosting mass burnings at the stake for any mages caught within city limits, they say he gouged his former advisor's eyes out in vengeance for his brother, etc, etc, and jaskier's like. okay back up. this isn't the radovid i know. i need to go talk to him. but he can't send letters when they're on the run, and how could radovid answer anyway without knowing where they are? so jaskier convinces yen or ciri to portal him directly into the castle. and maybe some shenanigans ensue. this is where things get really vague in my head and why i haven't written it yet, but maybe....? maybe something goes wrong with the magic? maybe they end up both portalled somewhere else and have to, like, fight for their lives while also dealing with this massive rift in ideals that's suddenly opened up between them. bonus points for jaskier being a worried mess over not knowing how to get back to ciri the entire time. idk man there's something juicy here i just gotta figure out how to shape it

#anon: lets me know a fun fact about the difference between the show and the books #me: hey thanks! anyway excuse me while i vomit up an entire fic idea real quick #i'm at the point where the mere mention of radovid and/or jaskier sends me into a frenzy of writing ideas #only problem is they are all! so! goddamn! vague!#anon #sam answers stuff #see the thing is. i was SO feeling a fic idea after the cabin scene #where ciri doesn't leave and instead accidentally portals all THREE of them far away #and jaskier's fresh off the betrayal of ''he was using me to get to ciri'' but also can't deal with that right now #because they're in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE and ciri's injured and now you've got a bard and a prince as her temporary dads #her woefully unprepared temporary dads #but see then the whole ''brother murder'' thing happened and i was instantly 3000% more obsessed with radovid after that #i just love exploring how batshit insane grief can make people. you feel me?#ANYWAY.#the witcher #radskier

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mumblingsage · 8 months

Text

Timestamps for Jaskier living his best bisexual life in Season 3

Put together for @bishkebab but really for anyone who wants to enjoy a bard-centric watch or rewatch.

I've tossed in brief descriptions of what happens in each scene while trying to avoid big spoilers (though reading what happens in a later episode could spoil you for previous ones). The * marks a scene important to his romance arc with Prince Radovid.

This is actually the time given on the right-hand side of the screen/completion bar showing the remaining minutes in the episode, because that was the easiest for me to get accurately on Netflix, so smaller numbers are closer to the end of each episode.

Episode 1: Shaerrawedd

32:52 - 28:22* Meeting one love interest while mid-argument with the other one. Rolls right into a short scene with Geralt, Yen, and Ciri.

19:42- 15:16 Fight scene, Jaskier gets a few reaction shots and is even helpful; the best parts for bard-lovers happen from 16:13 on.

10:09 - 8:38* Follow-up with Radovid + another character from the earlier meeting.

Episode 2: Unbound

(Scene starts right after title card) 54:33 - 53:20 Some muppety goodness with Geralt

50:10 - 44:35 There's some plot-relevant exposition here but also Jaskier making friends with a cat (and flirting with Liz Carr's character) and otherwise offering charming reaction shots - and then sadder/scared-er emotions from 45:30 on.

35:08 -33:40* Going to Radovid for a favor, he winds up agreeing to sing for him + a roomful of fans.

24:09 - 20:38* Sings "Extraordinary Things" and has an extremely subtext-laden conversation with Radovid.

14:56 - 13:21 (*) Not Jaskier, but some of Radovid's perspective on events, and this scene has him doing his best to fulfill the favor Jaskier asked.

Episode 3: Reunion

(From beginning of episode runtime) 1:01:32 - 58:08* The Most Important Scene. Bisexuality: confirmed. Tits: out. His girlfriend Vespula: amazing.

58:07 - 53:02 This runs right from the previous scene but is rather different in tone and amount of visible cleavage. Geralt calls on Jaskier to comfort a distressed child (brief reference to the deaths of preteen girls) while they bring her to a druid for help.

38:00 - 33:25 Getting on the same page with Geralt about the conversation with Radovid's people back in Episode 1, winds up giving Geralt an idea how to help the child. Things get more distressing and perilous as this scene continues but Jaskier is helpful again!

23:15 - 20:08 No onscreen Jaskier but Geralt wraps up the druid plotline, makes plans to keep the child safe with her, and announces his destination (and Jaskier's) for the next episode: Aretuza.

Episode 4: The Invitation

44:33-40:56 Meeting Geralt (and Ciri) at the coast. They want to take a ferry to Aretuza but the ferryman's scared of a sea monster. Luckily the passenger list includes a witcher and a half, plus Jaskier. Unfortunately it also includes Jaskier's mortal enemy.

37:29 -35:50 Geralt and Ciri are on monster watch while Jaskier's in a snark battle for his life. You can watch a bit past 35:50 if you want to see Geralt and Ciri continuing their father-daughter chat.

31:35 - 27:40 The monster finally attacks, ending Jaskier's misery. He's kind of helpful in the background of the fight scene, keeping other non-combatants safe.

21:52 -18:41 Reuniting with Yennefer. She gives Jaskier the job of babysitting Ciri and the two of them do some lip-reading with poetic license at Yen and Geralt's expense.

(runs from previous scene, new location) 18:40 - 13:13* Sweet babysitting shenanigans, singing "A Little Sacrifice," and suddenly - enter Radovid. Without spoilers, I'll say that chemistry read between Joey Batey and Hugh Skinner sure proved itself. Wow.

Episode 6: Everybody Has a Plan 'Til They Get Punched In the Face

45:50 - 44:13* The morning after.

Biphobia is alive and well and as proof, that's all we get of him in this episode, though his fellow members of the Rience Hate Club will enjoy the bits around 31:00 - 30:32.

Episode 7: Out of the Fire, Into the Frying Pan

(right after title card) 52:00 - 48:15* Looking for Ciri, Geralt, and Yen, Jaskier finds Radovid instead. As a bonus for the Jaskier-cut watchers, Radovid provides him with a summary of major plot developments from Episode 6. (Biphobia is alive and well and as proof the camera omits the hand-holding around 49:28. We all know it's happening! But still!)

Yennefer gets him further up to date (and hugs him!)

The bulk of this episode is Ciri-centric. At some point I can't find the timestamp for, she sings "A Little Sacrifice" for a cute Jaskier-and-his-Pocket-Princess-bonding-moment. In terms of Joey Batey's face being onscreen, he gets to flex his muscles at acting sad and scared from around 11:41 - 11:24 in a hallucinatory scene that reaffirms his and Ciri's love for each other in the cruelest possible way.

9:54 - end of episode. Jaskier wins his way past some distrusting dryads to see Geralt, in part by singing (in Elvish!) "Enchanted Flowers." He catches Geralt up on events that have happened during the Ciri-centric midpart of this episode; unfortunately it's all bad news. Hopefully their hand-holding is comforting, though.

The credits music for this episode is Freya Allen (Ciri's actress) singing a badass dark reprise of "A Little Sacrifice."

Episode 8: The Cost of Chaos

1:03:14 - 1:00:39 (until title card) Geralt's an understandably impatient patient, but at least he has Jaskier to hold his hand again and otherwise enable him.

48:44 - 46:26 Jaskier composes some songs while Geralt continues recovering. And pledges to compose more (plus an epic poem) if Geralt gets himself killed going out to find Ciri prematurely. (The scene continues between Geralt and another character until around 44:33)

(Around 38:30 Yennefer appears to supercharge Geralt's healing, which is a helpful plot event to know if watching the Jaskier Cut)

35:30 - 33:33* No Jaskier, but Radovid's side of the romance nears its conclusion (for this season). You can stop at 33:33 if you want a happy ending, or watch past that til the scene change if you're okay with blood and want to know the rest of what's going on. 28:16 - 26:52 wraps up Radovid's plotline (for this season! I'm holding out hope!)

24:55 - 21:02 Jaskier's composing the credits song for this episode when Dara (Ciri's elf friend from Season 1, who also shows up in Season 2) says hello. Then on to making a Witcher potion. Jaskier cheerleads Geralt through his training sequence, still composing.

13:04 - 7:21 Jaskier fails to dissuade Geralt from a final fight scene of the season (sorry, Jask, Geralt's in the right on this one, they had it coming), but again proves very helpful in a non-combatant way!

Credits music is Joey Batey singing "Ride Witcher Ride"

Let me know if you'd like a rundown for Season 2 as well (it's a less rich tapestry since there's less Jaskier and the bisexuality isn't canon yet, although there are moments it's hard to read heterosexually, and wow is it fun to realize nobody expects me to do that again!)

The first 7 minutes or so of the tie-in miniseries Blood Origin also have some great moments, including Jackier being audibly not not into it when a supernatural creature mimics his face (can't blame him, it's a sexy face, amd Joey Batey is excellent at being ominous) and also canon confirmation that he has good self-esteem, which I like in my bisexuals! (He's also there for like the final 2 minutes of Blood Origin's 4th and final episode if you're a completionist, and Joey Batey sings "Song of the Seven" over the end credits, which is the song Radovid references when he first meets Jaskier.)

#Jaskier #The Witcher Netflix #Joey Batey #The Witcher

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