I drew this for a friend a couple months ago, someone obsessed with 02 haha, I used it as an excuse to practice skin shading and transparency effects
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Blush-hued River
A Red Deer With A Human Heart
All that I left behind was but this empty shell, this body that cannot be called human.
The desire to fulfill just that – Wish – began to strip away the layer of essence that had defined my being, consuming me until I had lost myself. Still, I clung to it, desperately striving to become a creature, I had drifted away from in the process of trying to reach it; without having realized, until it was too late and my silhouette that reflected in people's glassy eyes mirrored what I had become – a Beast. It’s rather paradoxical, don’t you think?
This beautiful image I had of humans had been a lie from the start, an image I created, a nightmare that showed me I didn’t belong, all the same giving me a reason to continue living. Since I thought I would be allowed to see you again, once I looked like your kind.
Given that I gazed at myself with disgust, viewing my existence as unavailing, I was equally unable to recognize the worth of the souls around me; only when your life had been threatened was I capable of understanding that value, which could solely be measured by a humane heart. Only when I myself was in pain, could I understand the sorrow of others.
Every person is precious to another and I had always believed that to be a weakness, something that trapped one in a confined space and withheld one's radiance. That may be the case for some, but what is the point of living a life, in which you are forced to be someone less than yourself? If anything, I am able to let my wings be carried by your refreshing gust of wind. In my eyes, that is freedom itself.
Through your kind words and sincerity, I have come to recognize that my interpretation of a human existence had been wrong, all along. My actions are as faulty and irrational as a human’s: the crimson horns, dyed with the lives that I stole, souls that I shattered, nevertheless, the cherry blossom-colored hair that you loved so dearly as well, inducing a warm feeling in my being. Suddenly I wanted to live, I wished to be cared for. Your Love made me blossom into the person I am now, and you taught me the true meaning of this gentle endearment.
The simple act of lending someone a hand or a glance of sympathy, such simple gestures should not be underestimated since these tiny things, can teach you the true nature of kindness. Yet, the instant you have known love, the malicious behavior, which previously made your body and soul unfeeling, hurts all the more. For one is only able to experience true pain when one has wished for another’s genuine happiness. Regardless, of whether you lost warmth or never possessed it in the first place, both leave a void in one’s core.
Even though our lives in which we were able to see each other for whom we truly are, have merely begun, I must abandon it. Even when I do not sense the burns and cuts I sustain, I cannot imagine the unbearable pain you must endure while gazing upon the red tears flowing from my lonely heart, leaving for you to guard – The vessel that once held my cherished emotions toward you.
I wish for you to stay unaware of the truth – that my consciousness is elsewhere, destined to fight an endless battle. However, it pains me to think that you will never find out that we are separated by millions of galaxies and gleaming stars, awaiting my awakening which will never occur. How can they continue shining so brightly, despite your absence?
The salty drops of my soul gather, forming a river of emotions that will drown me.
Please don’t meet me at the river, it isn’t your time.
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I want to draw on other fandoms besides the beatles. but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop drawing the beatles. I'm just tired, haha...
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