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mimiatmidnight · 11 months

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Will you be commenting on the Taylor drama?

I love the way this was worded, like I'm one of the siblings on Succession and the press has cornered me outside my penthouse to ask if I'll be releasing a statement on my family's latest scandal. Hehehe anyways.

Sorry but I just don't understand how anyone is shocked. Truly what has that woman ever done to successfully convince people that this is out of character for her. Like I don't want to diminish anyone's pain or anything but I see all these stans on here and over on Twitter in all this distress, having their very first epiphanies like "Hold on . . . does Taylor . . . suck??" And I kinda just have to chuckle at them cause like bless your hearts babes, but omg catch UP 😭

Lol because 1) she is a severely emotionally stunted person who thinks edgy British "bad boys" are hot like she's 12 years old, 2) she has no true deeply-held moral principles outside of issues that directly affect herself, and 3) truthfully, she seems to be suffering from a serious crisis of identity after the end of the longest and most significant romantic relationship of her life, and in my opinion is pretty clearly desperate to prove something to the world/her ex/herself.

The first reason is cringe but not news to longtime viewers, the second reason is pathetic but also not news (to those who can be honest with themselves), and the third is . . . understandable in some sense, but not pitiable enough to make me willing to humor this insufferable little episode she's having. I wish her luck on this humiliating rebound journey, but she is gonna have to walk that road on her own.

Normally, I always roll my eyes when people make these kinds of jokes, but given the circumstances I feel justified in saying: I can't wait to hear the breakup song about him, sis 🤡

#the great thing about disliking your own fave is that they simply do not have the power to disappoint you lol #like her stans (at least those who arent complete sycophants—which sadly is not most) are breaking down over Babys 1st Cognitive Dissonance #meanwhile im just over here chilling lol #ive also just NEVER been particularly invested in her personal life anyways so im gucci on that front too #i didnt even realize specific songs were about specific celebrity exes until *several* years into listening to her music #thats how unplugged i am lol #she is unusually extremely visible in the collective conscious right now cause of the tour and this insufferable PR blitz #but the absolute best thing for me is when she disappears and i dont have to perceive her -- the actual person -- outside of her music #and then it can just be me and my lifelong companion the fictional character “taylor swift” (c)(r)(tm)#so personally the only real threat this hangs over my head is the thought she might put him on an album #like that does strike real terror in my heart im ngl #ESPECIALLY any of the rerecords oh my god #and given the way hes been tailing her in and out of that damn studio . . . its not looking good for me kids 🥴#i cant believe she would be that dumb after making the same mistake with joe on folklore #cause even tho now she has to suffer the indignity of sharing a grammy with her ex (LMAO)#at least we can understand that at the time she thought they were in it for life #but if she pulls that shit again with a REBOUND??? just to like stick it to joe or further delude herself or whatever?#idk im gonna need interpol or somebody to step in and do something drastic like this is a cry for help #did you guys see that euphoria meme someone made about her deranged “ive never been happier!!!!” speech the other day?#it was SO funny ill go find it

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dazais-guardian-angel · 1 month

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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years #not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion #so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all #but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him #i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted #and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms #i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still #and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case #i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now #but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience #and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over #he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday #and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh #(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*

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applejongho · 2 months

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bro wtf my band was supposed to do the senior sendoff a different day but they did it tn. they made me go up there w my other seniors and bawl my eyes out in front of them while they played the sad senior sendoff song. ok!

#I'm like joking n shit but oh my god :(#my stand partner and a lot of string players came up and hugged me #which made me cry more #the band has been such an important part of my life and i DO have a few more months w them but this was the honoring sendoff day #gonna go and cry (happy. and sad. both. bittersweet). ow. I love music i love humanity :( ❤️#SOB STORY OVER BACK TO THE JOKES N MEMES 🤘#apple lady words

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT DUDE I LEAVE ASKS FOR WEEKS BECAUSE I'M EVIL (EASILY DISTRACTED AND INARTICULATE) SHDGKJDSHDSLGF see you got to it before I was even done with a stream...

But yeah The Smile Ruined My Life. It helps it's not as silly as his last card's though lol

The "soul patch" is a bit of both; it is amplified a lot by lighting, but you can see it's noticeably darker/less patchy than the rest of his facial hair in his texture even when lighting isn't a factor and it's like that for his younger model too. I rarely notice when Tsutsumi actually has one though because it blends in with the shadow lol (sorry for the disgustingly high res texture btw I don't know why they did that and Tumblr blows it up to max size anyway </3)

YAYAYAY HOPE YOU ENJOY GOD OF RISK <3 Genuinely don't remember a single thing so probably due a rewatch for me as well. I do miss Hit Me too...

That's exactly the vision! Sad dog left out in the rain. I love fish out of water (so to speak) type stuff where the character is normally So Serious and So Capable. Jo just Existing In Public is such an image, right... because he's like... this guy with a fifty-foot AOE "leave me the fuck alone" aura active at all times but wearing one of THE most eye-grabbing fits... Honestly kind of insane no one ever connected Aoki to the yakuza before Nick's call-out post, though.

It's fun to imagine RGG characters just living their lives too. I LOVED Mine's first event because he had a lot of commentary on random encounters you could have in Y3 and even achievements you could get, while offering a pretty good idea of what his day-to-day is like

he cant be smiling so sincerely while holdin a fuckin katana that looks RIGHT RIDICULOUSAELKJA (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

if my followers can handle me posting masato and aoki's skinned face texture, then i can surely handle a bit of extra hi-res stubble ☠️☠️ BUT i dosee it. if i squint real hard (the shadows in the rggo card really do help point it out)

I'M ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH THE FIRST EP RN (got distracted for a sec to hang with my bro) AND SO FAR IM ENJOYIN IT !! Business Bullshit has always entertained me, and esp when kaori's being so hard headed rn only to be faced with the facts that if she doesnt change Serious Shit is going to hit the fan is ABSOLUTELY pulling me in

YAYAYA THATS EXACTLY IT I LOVE FISH-OUT-OF-WATER TYPE OF SCENARIOS TOO. it really is funny that no one connected the dots when every other npc or character seem so deadset on clocking characters like kiryu frame one as yakuza. meanwhile there's alligator-print, perpetual-scowl and slicked-back hair jo and everyone just seems to be none the wiser. He Just Looks Like That Don't Be Rude☠️☠️

i LOVE imaginin charas doin mundane shit so much, it's probably why i really enjoy slice-of-life stuff. Oh The Beauty Of Everyday Life Etc Etc- esp when applied to yakuza characters where it should be hard for a day to be bland and not noteworthy ☠️

#long post #snap chats #got distracted. IRONICALLY SO.#my college mate was askin me how i make my art dynamic and emotive and im like girl idfk i didnt know you thought it was That #im just a goofball making silly shit.... i cant help you make art bro.... i can tell you the rules of comedy tho. Subjectively.#IN ANY CASE. i forgot what i was gonna say 🥰#OH I REMEMBERED it took me looking at jo's goofy ass smile to remember #never over that PLEASE NO STOP IM CRYING #because ironically i did think about jo smiling this week. idk WHY- im lying i do know why #if i ever say 'idk why' im lying and 75% of the time it's just cause im embarrassed of the actual reason #in any case the actual reason why was cause Of Course i like it when tsutsumi smiles #i think it'll be a day in hell we see jo have a Smile smile but his smaller ones are Just Fine as well #also. every time he smiled in y7 it was to precede some heinous shit happening and it makes me laugh #fuckin smacking ichi with money/gauging a mate's eye in. yeah thats bout it ainit #crying thinkin bout it still IN ANY CASE NO I START LAUGHING CAUSE I WAS LIKE #'ah well i can draw jo sincerely smiling and that'll be that OR. i could redraw this meme 😭☠️☠️'#PROBABLY WONT I WONT LIE OR GIVE ANYONE HOPE but god the mental image made me hack up a lung #ive prattled so much tho i wanna at least finish this ep tonight i can worry bout all that in the future☠️☠️☠️☠️

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ellieslob · 2 months

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★ streamer ellie!

ways to help palestine!!!

S★ she started with fornite and minecraft gameplays but went viral for playing girly video games and screaming with pure rage and desperation if she loses or if her chat tells her the outfit she made was ugly asf😭

S★ she deadass will say “u guys clearly don’t know about fashion like i do” n then pull outfits like this:

S★ she used to be so fucking afraid that her face reveal went like dream’s that she posponed that shit for like a year. when she finally did it she ended the stream, turned off her phone and went to bed covering her body completely, while sniffing and crying “my career is over ”

S★ after her face revealed her account went even more viral, people started to make thirst traps of her and edits, videos, even fanfics, she got a little more comfortable with showing her face. her favorite edits were to songs like ride, baby by me, hey daddy (daddy’s home) and a song in spanish called vaquero, they were just so funny to her😭

iloveellie: she’s daddying so hard‼️

ewisinthechat: aw you guys really see me as a father figure?😺🫶

brondon444: 😭

kvcjjsaj: 😭

loverboydsa: 😭😭😭

“hey why is everyone crying in the chat, is everyone okay?”

S★ she really loves the cat emojis, specially this one 😻

S★ out of all her platforms (aside from twitch) she uses twitter the most, she tweets without a second thought in that head, without filter, like zero hesitation and then apologizes if she said something way too controversial.

ewisinthechat2: have you had that feeling when someone is so stupid you want to stab your eye with a fork? #kys

ewisinthechat2: k, i guess u have not😅…

S★ she was practically new to tiktok, so the first moths she had her likes public, she didn’t even know that was possible on the app. but if you click on it all you could see were shit post and memes that a dad would like, all except for a big section of aprox thirteen videos, one after the other, all with the same girl.

sckerforellie18: did u guys saw ellie’s likes? i think she’s stalking that poor girl😭

slaybabesew: HAHAH WAIT IS REAL, IS SHE HER GILFRIEND???

elliesaheymamasg: she’s so hot wait😩

heyemogirlbb: it’s her @girlypop666

S★ the chat started to tag you to every single one of her videos on tiktok, her photos on instagram, tagging you on things like “hi, could you please date my mom?🤗” or “my new mommie😻” EVEN in her questionable tweets telling you “we know she’s crazy but give her a chance😭”

S★ one day you waked up to your phone being practically broken from all the notifications, you still had your little pink iphone 6 and you had to buy another one because of it.

Instagram

girlypop: hi um i don’t think we really know each other but people are tagging me on your videos😭 love them though

S★ ellie was in a stream, the chat had to make her laugh and spit the water so she was reacting to videos that her chat had send her. when that notification appear on the screen, she read it, gulped the water, looked dead ass serious at the camera and turned off the stream.

elliewilliasm: omg hi, im so sorry i didn’t know, I’ll tell them to spot

elliewilliasm: spot*

elliewilliasm: STOP**😭

you laughed in your new phone, she was funny, and for what you had seen in all the posts that you were tagged on, very pretty too.

girlypop: hey would you like to grab coffee sometime?

ewisinthechat: TO EVERYBODY IN THE CHAT, THANK YOU, YOU GUYS ARE THE FUCKIN BEST, LOVE YALL, IM SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU, XOXO😻😻😻😻

GIVEAWAY COMIN FUCKIN SOON💯💯‼️

S★ she was exhausted when she jumped to her bed, after all the crying, screaming, jumping and the extreme tweeting that just said “YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES”, she unlocked her phone again.

elliewiliasm: yeah sure :)

REBLOG AND COMENT

IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THE TAG LIST

#ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams #ellie x y/n #ellie x you #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie smut #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #tlou #the last of us

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zhongrin · 1 month

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psssst Rin idea ehehe.... imagine having a remote control vibrator and alhaitham has the remote :))) that's it that's all bye //runs

crys.

...... must you send this while i'm on my period hauhdwhjfshdakhd

cw. minors dni, fem!reader, afab!reader, vibrator, self-indulgent shit bc i'm 1) in pain, 2) horny, and 3) just because i can. tldr; this is crys' fault /silly /lh

al haitham has your cycle memorized. it may sound like a useless thing to dedicate one of his brain cells for, but in his opinion, it really isn't. the common theories of the female hormones factors a lot into your mood and emotions, hence it makes a good tool to interpret your actions and outlines a specific guideline for him to act accordingly to make sure he continues to prove himself a suitable partner for you.

but sometimes, the man couldn't resist but just to tease you a bit.

and you look adorable in his eyes, all flushed and pouty like this.

"what's wrong? i thought someone said she wanted to 'get all the chores done before my uterus throws a tantrum for not getting to house a fetus'?" he asked, a little too nonchalantly, as he pressed buttons on the washing machine with one hand, the other sneaking into his pocket to play with the intensity of the little toy fitting snugly between your puffy folds.

"you're evil," you somehow managed to choke out, knees trembling as you held onto the edges of the sink, having to pause from cleaning the dishes at the heightened vibrations, "evil."

"that's not what you said last night with your legs wrapped around my w-"

"al haitham!!!"

"we're at home and kaveh's out to survey a project. i see no reasons for you to act unnecessarily demure."

you grumbled and muttered under your breath as you tried to wash the soap suds off the plates. a chuckle left your boyfriend's lips, and you feel a momentary relief when the buzz between your legs lessened into a hum.

key word here being 'momentary'.

you continued on ー wiping the plates dry, setting them onto the drying rack… as you reached out to open the cupboard drawer, the devil whispering in your beloved's ears seemed to have won the silent battle within his mind, for the bullet-shaped contraption seemed to increase in intensity with every seconds that passed. higher. higher. higher.

"h-haith- oh- fuck-" the quiver in your voice was palpable; arms steadying yourself onto the counter in a hurry. you were sure the dampness would have shown over your shorts by now; he'd been playing with that remote all morning, and it was driving you nuts.

perhaps it was that very desperation that prompted you to turn towards him with a pair of pleading eyes. perhaps it was your hormones going haywire that made you latch onto him and whine like a bunny in heat, your hands roaming across broad muscles, hips canting towards the growing bulge beneath those grey sweatpants.

oh, you really, truly look adorable when you were insatiably horny, he thought.

"…. fine. consider it my duty to finish the chores later," lush greens zeroes on the trickle of slick slipping down your thigh, the swipe of his tongue across his lips unconscious yet felt like added desire into your already heated loins.

"for now, i suppose your duty is to be thoroughly spoiled by me."

#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #al haitham x reader #al haitham #rin writes #minors dni #rin answers #rin is having tea with: crys 🧡

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duskloved · 2 years

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i am going to personally fight whoever chose find you for monsta x’s setlist !!

#hi friends !#i miss u all Very much !#i'm gonna Try to be here sometime this week #since my schedule has been all out of wack thanks to new management #i'm gonna make a more Official post detailing what i wanna do re: old drafts n memes n Such #but for now pls accept me lamenting over the fact the monstas made me fucken cry at their concert #like i was Vividly reminded of 2019 n watching them perform right after that shit went down #( * out of chara . )#anyway ! yes the goal is to return !

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agirlcandream84 · 9 days

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Somehow, More Boyfriend!Frank Headcanons

Cliche as it is, Frank's gonna kill all the bugs in the apartment. When you encounter a colossal winged something in the kitchen and start screeching and grabbing for the closest thing (a frying pan) to smash it but dancing around it because you're too afraid to get close, Frank comes charging in thinking you're being attacked and instead gives you a look like "really sweetheart?" and then literally scoops you by the waist with one hand so you're nearly dangling by his side while he smashes the gross thing with a bare palm and then flicks it out the window.

Few things make Frank Castle cry but after a day of babysitting your niece together and watching endless episodes of Bluey, you catch him with his eyes all watery, absolutely hooked to the TV. It's quite a sight-- your one year old niece happily babbling away with her toys but Frank is the one glued to the TV, the giant tearing up while he's still got scraped knuckles and a healing black eye from a recent encounter. You ask, "Frank... are you.. crying?" and he makes to wipe his eye quick saying, "Course I am! You see this shit sweetheart? That'll tear your heart out."

Frank is super tuned into your little routines, knowing you get crabby or stressed when things don't run just so and now he's become a routine-tracker, gently lifting you from the couch when you've fallen asleep at night saying "Come on honey, I know you don't wanna sleep with your makeup on. Gotta get your lotions and stuff on baby" and helping you to the bathroom.

After Frank was at the gym or just with a bunch of guys in general he'd come home and beeline right to you, plant a kiss on your lips and then plant his nose on the top of your head and inhale all deep, has hands landing right on your ass, claiming he just needed the soft clean feel of you. Frank wasn't going soft per se, he could still hold his own in any situation, but he came to appreciate the comfort of your soft skin and the smell of your shampoo after he'd been with a a bunch of stinky, loud, scratchy, hideous guys too long.

Frank is DEFINITELY a morning sex kind of guy. He's already pressed against you all night, the big spoon to your little, and its more often than not that your feel the growing press of him as your stir awake, his hand snaking around to cup your tit and play gently with your nipples. Instantly you're whining and Frank is murmuring "shhh shhh honey, gonna make it feel better," as he tugs down your sleep shorts and fucks you slow and lazy from behind. As a result, he's begun convincing you to just sleep nude from the get-go since you're gonna end up that way.

Speaking of sex, Frank loved to make you work juuuust a bit before he'd ultimately take over. You're in his lap, already full of him, slowing down from the effort, and he's all "ah ah, come on sweetheart, I know you can do it," with his hands on your hips, helping you rock back and forth. When the pinkness starts to hit your cheeks and you're huffing in effort, Frank is quick to take over and he's doing ALL the work from there on out.

Frank is adorably inept at technology, often grumpily tossing his phone aside and mumbling "piece of shit" when he can't figure something out. He only keeps the damn thing because he wants to check in on you otherwise he'd have ditched it long ago. One time you sent him a meme and he's like "the fuck is that sweetheart?" and you're just like "don't worry about it Frankie"

Frank loved you wearing quite literally everything, and nothing, but the site of you in a cottagecore dress?? He was FERAL. Like a caged animal. He claimed they always made your boobs look fantastic and he was like a teenager when you had them on-- just constantly battling the bugle in his pants and bending you over a table the MOMENT you got back home.

#frank castle #frank castle x reader #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle fanfic #frank castle x you #frank castle smut #frank castle x y/n #frank castle fluff #frank castle headcanons

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rainybubbles · 1 year

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How do you accidentally confess to COD men ?

Soap, Ghost, Alejandro, Gaz, König, Alex, Price

(Sorry in advance for my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue. So sorry if it's badly written)

S O A P :

-"I can't lose you, Soap. Shit, you're important to me," you say while crying.

-"...I'm flattered, but can you focus on fixing my leg first?" he says.

-You blinked awkwardly.

-Let's start over and try to understand this, shall we?

-Well, you were a nurse working on a military base.

-When all the doctors asked you to wake up at 3 AM, you knew something had happened. You ran to the infirmary and saw Soap.

-He was heavily injured.

-Your heart skipped a beat.

-You and Soap had known each other since his enlistment.

- You were just an apprentice nurse, and he was a cadet. He always burnt something, and you were there to look after him, even when he accidentally burnt the ass of his sergeant.

-You had a crush on him since that time, but you decided a long time ago not to act on it.

- Soap was clearly not interested in you, and he had gone out with a lot of people.

-You can definitely say you're not his type at all, and you like your bond the way it is.

-But now, seeing him like this, it was different. Your heart was overwhelmed, and your mouth spoke before you could filter what you said.

-"I can't lose you, Soap. Shit, you're important to me," you say while crying.

-"...I'm flattered, but can you focus on fixing my leg first?" he says.

-You blinked awkwardly.

-"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm not ethical at all. You need help, and I'm talking nonsense."

-You helped the doctors and quickly went outside when you finished, in order to think about what had just happened.

-"Shit, it was so awkward. I really thought we were in a movie or something," you said, angry at yourself.

-"Well, honestly, it was fun to see you like that. I mean, it could have been the climax of a movie if Ghost had started to play the violin, and a slow-mo started on your face," a voice joked.

-You turned around and saw Soap.

-"You're supposed to lay down. You can't walk."

-"What can I say? Seeing you make miracles," he says with a smirk.

-You sighed and walked towards him, offering your arms to lead him to a bed. He smiled.

-"I'm sorry for what happened. I shouldn't have said that," you said.

-"But you mean it?"

-"That's not the point. It was not the moment, and I know the answer. It was just cringe."

-"...damn, loving me is cringe?" Soap said teasing you.

-"That's- you know that's not what I mean."

-"Yes, I know. I feel the same, by the way."

-"But you..."

-"It's been three months, I realize. I know it's longer for you."

-"You noticed," you realized, all these years thinking you were good at hiding it were in fact obvious to him.

-"Yes, but you decided not to tell anything, so I never acted on it. But I...I feel the same now, and you almost confessed, so can you give me a chance?"

-"You mean when you can take me on a date and not bleed to death?" you said, looking at his injuries.

-"Yes," he chuckled.

-"Okay," you whispered, scared that it was a dream.

-"Okay," he repeated with a smile.

G H O S T :

-"WHAT DO I DO NOW ?!" you screamed and looked at your friend.

-"Just...explain to him."

-"Oh yeah and how do you explain why I send him a fucking eggplant emoji at 4 AM without anything ?" you screamed panicked

-"Tell him the truth." your friend casually says.

-"He won't believe me. Like 'hey I sent you this emoji not because I want to fuck you, but because my brother sent me a lot of memes with eggplant so every night we sent this emoji to each other laughing. And I made a mistake and sent this to you, not him. Nobody does that. He won't believe me." you sigh."Oh fuck, he rode the text."

-"Well...he's your crush no ? I mean you talk about him often so if anything happens it could be good."

-"Yes he is, but I don't want to confess, not now. Fuck, I only met him like three times and only thanks to Soap. We're just acquaintance. I only have his number because I'm Soap's emergency contact."

-"And now he thinks you want to fuck him." your friends resumes

-"Thanks for your help." you say sarcastically."Shit he's writing, what would he say ?"

-"Well I bet on a peach emoji."

-You looked at your friend and showed them your middle finger.

-"What if I make things awkward and-"

-"You are always awkward."your friend interrupts you.

-"...thanks for your support." you said ironically.

-"I mean the worst is that he says no and when you'll meet again the only thing he remembers will be this fucking emoji. That's fine."your friend says.

-"No. I don't want to be the eggplant emoji in his mind."

-"It's too late."

-A ring interrupted your conversation.

-"It's him." you said looking at your notification.

-"And ?"

-"He sent a comma."

-"A comma?" your friend asks lost

-"Yes."

-"what does it mean ?"

-"I DON'T KNOW ! Does it mean he stops to breathe, or I should breathe or-"

-"Or he made a mistake and typed wrong."

-"No, he's good with his hands."

-"I don't want to know how you know that." your friend says looking at you

-"...I wasn't implying anything weird. He's a fucking military." you answered.

-"Ok. So what do you do ?"

-"I could send a comma too ?"

-"Yay revise your punctuations with Y/N and Ghost." your friend says ironically.

-"I...oh fuck, he sent another text."

-"And ?" your friend asks

-"Does the eggplant be used to convey a desire to meet me or is it some weird shit like Soap does usually,"you read out loud his text

-"he texts like a grandpa." your friend comments

-"Fuck you." you say.

-"Calm down, I'm just saying the truth. You should answer it's because you want him."

-"No way, I told you we're acquaintances. I have a crush yes, but we don't know each other well and I-"

-Ting.

-Another text from him.

-"Because it's okay in both cases." he texted you.

-"Oh fuck." you say with your eyes widen.

-"You can say that again !" your friend laughs.

A L E J A N D R O :

-Being a soldier means living in a community. And even if sometimes you're lucky and have your own little room, it's obviously not a hotel.

-So when Alejandro was doing a patrol to check everyone was asleep, he didn't expect to overhear you.

- But it was normal, the walls were thin and he could hear Rudy's snore from here.

-So yes, he heard you talking in your sleep.

-Except it was a fever dream you were having, and it was his name you were whispering.

-He froze.

-He didn't want to intrude, so he stepped back, but it was too late.

- He heard you clearly because of those thin walls.

-The next morning, when all his soldiers were eating together and you were present he couldn't stop looking at you. He didn't know what to do.

-He was not a moron, and he didn't want to confront you about that, but keeping this silent was also horrible.

-"Everything is good, Ale?" Rudy asks.

-"...I overheard something."

-"Let me guess, two soldiers making out? It's like the fourth time this week. Are they rabbits or what?" Rudy sighs at the new cadets.

-"No, it was not two soldiers," Alejandro answers.

-"Oh." Rudy realizes, "oh. Well...it's also common to do it solo. Why are you making this a big deal?"

-"Because they say my name."

-Rudy chokes on his bread and starts laughing.

-"Why do you find this funny?" Alejandro whispers angrily.

-"Because you seem all flustered. You're usually a smooth talker, but you seem so shy about it. It's not the first time a soldier has a crush on you, Alejandro."

-"I know, but it's different."

-"And why is it different?"

-"It's them."

-Rudy smirks.

-"I see."

-"But I can't say I overheard them, but I want to tell them I feel the same. How do I do this when all I could think when I see them is this memory?"

-"Be honest, you don't know how to lie. You're an honest man, Alejandro."

-"You're right, I have to tell them," Alejandro says. He's brave, he can do that.

-"They're coming, good luck," Rudy says and winks.

-You sit at your usual place, greeting everyone, and look at Alejandro.

-"Is everything okay?" you ask him when you notice his expression.

-"I overheard you," he says blankly out of nowhere.

"...can you be more clear, because I have no idea what you're talking about?" you say lost.

-"Last night, I was checking if everyone was asleep and I overheard you saying my name in a feverish dream."

-You raise your eyebrows and smirk.

-"Is that so?"

-He notices the smirk.

-"Why are you smirking?"

-"Because I was on cleaning duty this night; it's Mina who was in my room."

-"Oh."

-"Yes. I guess you have to talk to her," you say.

-"You're right. Sorry, I didn't know."

-"That's okay, but if I may ask, what were you planning to do after telling me this?" you tease him.

He notices your playful tone and smirks back.

-"That you don't need to dream, you can have me in real life."

-"Smooth, really smooth, Alejandro."

He smiles.

-"So it's a yes?"

-"Yes, but you still have to talk to Mina. I wasn't joking; it was her in my room last night."

G A Z :

-It was a night mission.

-You were waiting with the 141 for the order to go.

-It's been hours since you were waiting, and you knew after this mission you probably couldn't see the 141 again.

-Because you were in a different unit, and your collaboration was only for this mission.

-So you knew it was probably the moment to shoot your shot with Gaz.

-You inhale and go to his figure lying in the dark.

- "Gaz, I know we get along with each other. I can't count how many nights we spent just talking to each other on the base or even how many times we laugh together.I...I'm interested in you in more of a friend way. I know it's horrible to say that now, but afterward, it will be too late. So yeah." You say.

-Silence.

-You only hear silence as the figure doesn't move.

-You feel your heart aching.

-Shit, is he rejecting you in silence without saying anything?

-You look at the ground.

-"I think you should activate your vision nocturne, soldier. Gaz is at your right."

-Shit.

-Shit, shit, shit.

- You open your eyes wide.

-You...you just confessed to Price thinking it was fucking Gaz.

-"Shit, I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean that obviously. I-"

-"Calm down, soldier. And go talk to him. We still have time here, but look at who you're talking to." Price teases you.

-You nod and walk towards Gaz ashamed.

- "Are you okay?" Gaz asks.

-"I just made the worst mistake of my life."

-"What did you say? Did you say to Price he had a nice ass or what?" Gaz jokes to light up the mood.

- You stay silent.

-Gaz opens his mouth. "No, you-"

-"It wasn't his ass. But yeah, I basically confessed to him, because I mistook him for someone else. ?Because obviously in the dark without night vision you can't see anything."

-Gaz laughs.

-"Stop laughing, it's horrible. I'm the worst, he probably will report me."

-"No, he knew it wasn't for him, didn't he ?"

- "Yes, but it...I'm feeling so ashamed."

-"With who do you think mistake him for?" Gaz asks.

-"I don't answer that question. I have made enough confessions for today."

-"Come on, tell me."

-"Nope."

-"Let me guess then."

-"We're only five here, I don't want to let you guess."

-"Soap?"

-"Gaz, I said no."

-"Because if it's him, I don't think he-"

-"You. It was you." You say to shut him up. "Happy, now?"

-He stays silent. You look at him.

-"Yes," he says, smiling. "Even though I'm jealous that Price got the whole speech, it felt like I'm only having the crumbs." He teases you.

-"Shut up," you smile.

-"But I'm happy, I feel the same."

-"Good, because I have enough rejection for today."

-"Ohhhh, Price's rejection is not a good experience?" He jokes.

-"I could never again look at him in the eyes," you say.

K Ö N I G :

-"I thought you were just getting to know him," Soap says.

-"Yes. And that's why I was doing."

-"So could you explain how König ended up with his vest burnt if you were just talking ?" Gaz says skeptical.

-"I...well I was lighting the vanilla candle and he was here, with his eyes and I-"

-"You were checking him out and didn't pay attention to the matchstick, isn't it ?" Soap asks.

-"I was absorbed by his eyes ! They're like so beautiful and he was so close, I-"

-"You burnt his vest." Gaz says.

-"Thanks for the reminder, Gaz. I know now my chances are ruined with him. Shit. The worst is that I can't tell him why I accidentally burnt his vest, so now he thinks I hate him."

-"Well you could find an excuse." Soap says.

-"What excuse could explain a burnt vest, Mr. explosion ?" you asked.

-"You wanted to test if his vest was fireproof." Soap tried

-"..." you said.

-"..." Gaz said.

-Soap sighed.

-"Ok it's not a good one. But I'm trying to help, okay ?"

-"I have to tell him the truth. I don't want him to think I hate him. He's so gentle with us."

-"He's here. Go !" Gaz said as he pushed you.

-You opened your eyes wide. You didn't expect you would have to do that so soon.

-You walked anxiously towards him.

-When he saw you, he stepped back a little.

-It hurt you, but it was fair after the incident.

-"Hey, König, I- I wanted to explain what happened."

-He looked at you and just nodded, waiting for your explanation.

-"In fact I burnt your vest because I was admiring your eyes.I was gazing at you. And I didn't concentrate at all on the candle and I let the matchstick fall. I'm sorry."

-He opened his mouth. He didn't know what to say.

-"I- you were gazing at me ?"

-"Yes, I find you beautiful. But it's not an excuse for what happened. I should have paid more attention to the candle" you said honestly.

-"Thanks for the compliment and the apology"

-"I hope that you don't have any grudges, or you don't think I hate you. I wanted to make it clear."

-"Oh no, well, I know it was an accident. You seem..." he stopped himself to find the right word to described how much you were screaming and scared "terrified ?"

-"Yes." you confirmed.

-"So I knew it was not intentional, but I didn't understand why. But now I know."

-"Cool, so we're okay ?" you asked.

-"You don't want to know ?"

-"Know what ?"

-"If I find you beautiful too ? If I'm gazing at you sometimes ?"

-"Oh, no. I mean I didn't expect anything, so don't feel pressured or anything and-"

-"Because I do." he interrupts you.

-"Oh."

-"Yes."

-"So if I ask you on a date ?"

-"Yes."

-"Cool, cool, cool," you said anxiously but happy

-"Tonight ?" he asked.

-"YES ! I mean, yes of course."

-He smiled under his mask and left. You walked back to Soap and Gaz.

-"So ?" Gaz asked.

-"I have a date."

-"WHAT ?" Gaz said.

-" WHY DID Y/N HAVE A DATE WHEN THEY PUT HIM ON A FIRE AND I CAN'T EVEN HAVE ONE ?!" Soap whined

-You laughed. You didn't know why, but you definitely knew you were lucky he said yes.

A L E X :

-You were a barista at a coffee shop. You were taking Alex's order as usual, since he was a regular when your colleague interrupted you.

-"I prepared the order of the regular hottie you were talking about."

-You looked up at Alex.

-You looked at your colleague.

-He opened his eyes wide.

-"Oh shit" your colleague said.

-"I'm sorry Alex." You said, "This one is on the house and the next time my colleague will serve you. Sorry again." You gave him his coffee and left in the backs now not only your chances were ruined, but you could be possibly fired.

-Shit, it was unprofessional to talk with your colleagues about your crushes on some clients.

-But this was worst because the said client knew that now.

-He knew he was the hottie.

-"Hey", your colleague said after few minutes "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

-"That's okay you couldn't guess he was here. In fact you could because it was his order, but yeah..."

-"But I'm happy."

-"Happy ?" you said a little angry by his remarks now.

-"He let you that." he said giving you a paper.

-"What..." you took the paper and saw a number :"glad to be called a hottie by a hottie, call me."

-"oh wow"

-"It's like a romantic movie !"

-"Absolutely not."

-"YESSSSSSSS" your colleague teased you.

-"I'm just glad to not be fired right now."

P R I C E :

-You were an interpreter. During a long, boring brief, you were chatting with Gaz.

-"Nikolai, Lasswell, Price. Kiss, marry, kill," he says.

-"Lasswell is married, Gaz." you answer.

-"Then Ghost."

-"I kill Nikolai."

-"You dare to kill him!" Gaz says shocked.

-"I mean, I like him. He's a good guy, but I don't know him well. So yes, kill him, kiss Ghost, and marry Price."

-"Your judgment is so biased," Gaz says laughing.

-"Biased?"

-"You only marry Price because you like him."

-"Yeah, that's the point of the game. It's based on preferences, Gaz," you say.

-He smiles.

-"You don't deny what I say."

-"It's because that's obvious, I have a thing for him. Plus, everybody knows Price is like the perfect husband material."

-"Hmm, thanks for your comment," a voice says.

-You and Gaz look at each other.

-The whole room is staring at you.

-Lasswell points the microphone at your right, which is still on.

-"Fuck," you say and your voice echoes throughout the room.

-"Sorry about that," Gaz says, and he switches off the microphone.

-"We are so dead," Gaz says.

-"I am so dead, you mean. I'm surprised if they don't replace me with another interpreter at the end of the day."

-The meeting ends, but as Gaz and you are leaving, you hear Price calling you.

-You hesitate but walk towards him.

-"You know what I'm about to say."

-"Yes, Sir, it was inappropriate, and we should have paid attention to the brief. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. As you can guess, my goal was not to let this slip," you answer.

-Price nods.

-"Good. You can leave."

-You leave the room.

-You thought it was the end, Price clearly rejects you.

-Yet a few weeks later, when the mission ended, Price approached you.

-You were sitting at the bar with the 141 celebrating the success.

-"So you're not working with us anymore," he said.

-"Yeah, that's the end of my mission." You answered, smiling.

-"So it's not inappropriate if I ask you on a date?"

-"A date? Wait, you-"

-"I keep my work and personal life separated."

-"Shit, so if you didn't say anything, it was because we were colleagues."

-"And because it was fun to see you defeated," he chuckles.

-"You're mean." You laugh. "But that's a yes."

If you want more my Call of Duty masterlist : here

My masterlist : here

#cod x reader #captain price x reader #gaz x reader #ghost x reader #soap x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #alex keller x reader #alex x reader #könig x reader #call of duty x reader #ghost simon riley x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #john price x reader

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ellielatinagf · 27 days

Text

Ellie Williams in Covid head cannons

Sooooo this is just a small idea I had because I’ve never seen anyone else do this soooooooo. Our poor girly in yet another epidemic. Love you all!

Warnings: a tiny bit nsfw content, cursing, for the girls only pleaseee, lmk if there’s anything else

Was absolutely thrilled when everyone was advised to stay inside because she’s such an antisocial loser untilllllll she saw how everyone was rapidly spreading the disease. She’s low key a germaphobe.

Totally had a YouTube channel which consisted of her recording herself doing nothing but laying on the couch with you watching tv. Her only subscribers were Jesse, Joel, and Dina and some rando from Tennessee.

She found a new obsession every week and now the garage is filled with boxes of old paintings, crochet chickens, and diy art stuff.

Had ranked every Ramen noodle flavor from best to worst

Absolutely freaked OUT when you got Covid from your job and she ended up sleeping over at Joel’s. She actually refused to come back untill you showed her how you deep cleaned the whole house.

Ellie on FaceTime

Ellie: wait babe lemme see right there on the dresser

You: Ellie I literally wiped it down twice

Ellie: well I didn’t see it

Tried to make cookies one time and thought they were perfect and crispy around the edges. They really tasted like chips and she got mad when you laughed and claimed you never take her seriously.

Okay I’m sorry but she was a horny monster like cmon she was in the house all day with you like how can she not.

Had an obsession with the Big Bang theory and made you watch it with her and explained all the science stuff which she knew for the most part. On the ones she didn’t know she’d yap about it till you looked it up and she’d gaslight you into thinking she was right.

You: “Umm babe google says……”

Ellie: “that’s literally what I was saying”

She was at Joel’s house one time helping him make more guitars. She accidentally cut herself and when you demanded she go to the hospital which she was terrified of because of all the Covid patients getting her sick she went like this

“Hold on babe i watched greys anatomy”

Fell victim to the meme pages all in her camera roll that were like this

Hated zoom meetings but she’d be the type to hold her phone on the screen and watch those Roblox Tik toks.

I know i already said she was a fortnite god but that girl watched every single fortnite concert at the time and made sure you were right there with her and she made sure to clip the whole thing even though when watching the clip back her and Jesse were yelling their asses off. She loved season three of fortnite.

Ellie: “ HURRY UP BABE TRAVIS SCOTT IS GONNA PREFORM OH MY GOD JESSE WHERE ARE YOU!!!”

Ellie hated when people overstocked at the grocery store meanwhile she did the exact same thing because she was paranoid and it came in hand since you guys wouldn’t need to go grocery shopping for at least a week and a half

Ellie also discovered games with an emotional storyline like Detroit becomes human, red dead redemption, resident evil, ect. And had a phase where she’d be all poetic and shit thinking she was Shakespeare, she got tired of talking like she was from the 1800s.

Ellie: “my love, your eyes, they remind me of a thousand sunsets…”

You: “did you take out the trash?”

She had all her favorite YouTubers and would watch them on the tv and she’d make you play among us with her because that was “the game of century” as she proclaimed.

She actually had a small mini breakdown because our poor girl found out Joel had Covid and remember that in the news it said older people were more at risk. The poor girl though Joel was gonna die and you laid in bed with Ellie who was sniffling and crying in your shirt while you rubbed her back. Those always calm her down. Then when Joel was better again she made you pinky promise not to tell anyone anything. But she did end up calling Joel more frequently.

You guys actually had spent a lot of time together and most couples who spent so much time together broke up and got bored and such and such but you two actually enjoyed you time together. You and Ellie would would go to an open park where no one was around and watch the sunset and talk about what your plans were after everything was back to normal. Ellie asked if you two could get a puppy and who can ever say no to those eyes and freckles cheeks?

Another thing you guys liked to do was spent all day in bed and cuddling. Now a lot of people will assume Ellie would be the big spoon and that can be true sometimes but the girl is a hugeeeeeee softie. She loved being the little spoon because she felt safe by feeling your soft breath ok her back or shoulder. And she’s hold a dinosaur plushie. Like always.

She cried when she watched videos of family’s finally being able to reunite or grandparents watching their families through a class. Who didn’t cry?

She loved playing just dance with you and she’d purposely pick a song where you both had to dance together because she never has the balls to ask you to dance to with her.

She had a little camcorder where she recorded almost everything in your lives at that point. You brushing your teeth, both of you eating cereal, having tickle fights, ect. What Ellie doesn’t know is that now you sometimes go to the camcorder and watch the old videos and she’d a tear here and there because you loved the memories.

Some how she was actually a beast at the toilet paper kick up challenge and got a good 14 kick ups.

You cannot tell me she didn’t buy those apple juices that actually founded like apples when you bit into them.

I lowkey just had an idea of what Ellie would be like at this time sooooo lmk what other hcs you guys might want! Also be sure to let me know if you’d like to be in the Taglists! Don’t forget to talk about Palestine guys! Free Palestine 🇵🇸 🇵🇸🇵🇸

Taglists: @vqxen @bready101 @lilylynne11 @Lively-blues @Yurixxiii @vampyangel @gato-chino @a-little-bit-of-everybody @abbysbraids

#ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie x reader #tlou2 #ellie tlou #ellie x y/n #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #ellie hcs

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elliespassagerprincess · 6 months

Note

ohh i love your works smmm <3 can i request more loser ellie hc? fluff & nsfw <333

Headcannons: loser!ellie x reader

Part 1 Part 2

Sfw:

☆ Loser Ellie who took you stargazing on the second date.

There was no cloud in the sky as the two of you lay on the soft pink blanket Ellie brought. You were amazed by the stars, and Ellie was amazed by your beauty. She could stare at you for hours.

Ellie was lost in a trance before she heard your voice “what are you looking at?”

Ellie’s throat went dry. Her cheeks tinted pink, she’s been fucking caught.

“the air” she lied all you did was shake your head.

☆ Loser Ellie who refused to touch you because she was so shy. Even holding your hand scared her.

☆ Loser Ellie who had multiple accounts to stalk you because she was afraid that you might think she was weird for watching you every move.

☆ Loser Ellie who was too scared to make a move, and in the process she was pushing you away.

☆ Loser Ellie who didn’t touch you, who didn’t make eye contact with you and you truly felt unwanted.

☆ Loser Ellie who went to your house one night when she saw a picture of you kissing someone else.

She knocked on your front door. She was confused. Angry. Sad. Jealous.

The door opened and there you stood in all your glory.

“What the fuck do you want Ellie?” you asked with a huff.

Ellie’s gaze fell to the floor before she spoke in a whisper “who was she?”

“what?” you questioned

“who was she? The girl you kissed”

“that has nothing to do with you”

Ellie made eye contact with you for the first time in a long time

“it fucking does. We- i- I thought we had something”

“We have fucking nothing Ellie” you replied harshly

“you make me feel unwanted, and so I moved one”

You watched Ellie turn around to walk away and before you closed the door, she ran back to you, grabbing your face for a kiss.

She pulled away looking at you with wide eyes “I’m sorry” was all she said before she ran away.

☆ Loser Ellie who ignored your calls and texts.

☆ Loser Ellie who buys you things that she thinks you would like and she just kept it in her room hoping she’d get the guts to face you again.

☆ Loser Ellie who wrote you letter but she never sent them to you.

☆ Loser Ellie who tries not to cry when she sees pictures of you and other people.

☆ Loser Ellie who has a photo album dedicated to pictures that she thinks you would like. It was a collection of flowers, stuffed animals, memes just things that reminded her of you.

☆ Loser Ellie who loses her shit when she can’t find the letter she wrote you.

“Dina where’s the letters?” she yelled as she threw her clothes from her closet onto the floor.

“I gave it to her”

“what?”

“Ellie-“Dina sighed “you’re losing your fucking mind because of her, I had to do something”

☆ Loser Ellie who wasn’t even mad because you arrived at her apartment.

Before you could even open your mouth Ellie confessed:

“I’m in love with you”

you chuckled at her confession “I know els I read the letters”

And just like that you kissed her. It was a real kiss. Ellie didn’t want you to pull away but you had to tell her something

“in one of the letters you said that I’m the light in your life, that was very poetic” Ellie blushed before she replied

“yeah you are, but can I kiss you again?”

☆ Loser Ellie who asked you to be her girlfriend the next day with a poster because she couldn’t ask you the question.

☆ Loser Ellie who started punching the air when you said yes forgetting you were there. She was very embarrassed afterwards.

☆ Loser Ellie whose palms were so sweaty the first time you held her hand that you kept wiping your hands off.

☆ Loser Ellie who gains more confidence while being with you.

☆ Loser Ellie who has polaroids of you all over her room.

☆ Loser Ellie who has one of your sweaters that she sleeps with every night because she missed you and she was too scared to ask if you wanted to come over.

☆ Loser Ellie who waits at her phone for you to respond.

☆ Loser Ellie who doesn’t always text first because she doesn’t to annoy you.

☆ Loser Ellie who paints her nails your favorite color.

☆ Loser Ellie who secretly gets your initial tattooed behind her ear.

☆ Loser Ellie who buys you both matching outfits, bracelets, shoes, literally she wants to match everything with you.

nsfw:

☆ Loser Ellie who almost combusts when you wore lingerie for the first time.

“holy shit” she breathed when you walked out the bathroom.

“you like it?” you asked with a shy smile.

“I fucking love it, now come fuck me”

☆ Loser Ellie who’s a switch.

☆ Loser Ellie who likes when you ride her because she gets to suck your tits.

☆ Loser Ellie who loves it when she can leave hickeys on you (especially between your thighs)

☆ Loser Ellie who gets most of her pleasure from giving you pleasure.

☆ Loser Ellie who sucks your fingers after you made her cum multiple times.

☆ Loser Ellie who can stay hours in between your legs.

☆ Loser Ellie who’s scared to try new things.

“I want to try something new” she spoke one afternoon

“what?”

Suddenly Ellie went quiet. Should she really ask you?

“i- um- if you d-don’t want to its ok”

“Ellie talk”

“sit on my face please?”

☆ Loser Ellie who like it when you sit on her face. She could die this way honestly, being suffocated by you.

☆ Loser Ellie who keeps your underwear, and she has a whole collection.

☆ Loser Ellie who buys lingerie for you because she’d always imagine how’d you look wearing them.

☆ Loser Ellie who keeps the nudes you send her. She has a special folder.

☆ Loser Ellie who has polaroid’s of you in underwear that she uses to get off.

☆ Loser Ellie who gets turned on when you breathe, so she’s constantly ready to pounce on you when you give her the chance.

☆ Loser Ellie who can never get tired of you.

☆ Loser Ellie who wished she’d met you earlier

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killjoynest · 3 months

Text

[ID: A photo of a man pointing to the sky, where an panel of the fridge from the comics has been added. Text in the image reads: "If nobody got me, I know mysterious fridge in the desert that somehow has power got me. Can I get an Amen?" End ID]

[ID: The Destiel confession meme from Supernatural. With teary eyes, Castiel says: "I love you." Dean, looking unruffled, replies with a tweet from the NewsAGoGo twitter account, "This station is no longer operational. Have a BETTER day." End ID]

[ID: The Oh No Anyway meme made from two screencaps from the British TV show Top Gear. the caption reads "dr death-defying announcing yet another clap with the exterminators going all costa rica". Panel 1: Show host Jeremy Clarkson says "oh no!" with feigned shock. Panel 2: He looks into the camera with a straight face and says "anyway." End ID]

[ID: The 2-panel "turn up the volume" meme. Panel 1 is a motion-blurred image of a hand turning a volume knob up to the maximum level. Panel 2 is a motion-blurred image of Viner Jay Versace crying with headphones on and pumping his fist in the air. The caption reads "when cherri cola gets too polka dotty to go on air but that means jenni cocaine is covering poetry corner for the evening". End ID]

[ID: Griffin McElroy holding up a piece of paper that reads: "I don't know whats in the grafitti bible and at this point I'm too afraid to ask." End ID]

in-universe posting back yet again

and a few bonus ones:

[ID: A meme of the outline of the side profile of a person's head, labelled kobra kid, with a speech bubble to the left. The person thinks: "this is not a great situation" Out loud, they say: "bit shit innit." End ID]

[ID: A meme of Viktor and Five Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy, looking out the window at each other from the driver's seats of their cars with confused expressions. Viktor is labeled "me in re-education after my neighbour reported me" and Five is labeled "my neighbour being put in the next tube over." End ID]

#danger days #zone memes #the fabulous killjoys #digging up old bits to commit to bear with

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snenbubs · 4 months

Note

I've been reading your work for a while now and the way you write for Mammon is amazing, you're definitely my favourite writer for him. So I was wondering if you aren't too busy if could you please write breakup headcanons for mammon

HELLO! Thank you so, so much!!! It means so much to me that you enjoy what I write! Most of it is my delerious train of thought at like 1am so im honestly shocked at the amount of support ive been getting!

ANYWAYS, ONTO THE HCS!

HB MAMMON X GN!READER, BREAKUP HCS

I'm assuming you meant like, if you broke up with Mammon? If thats not what u meant just send in another anon! I wont mind :3

- Okay, first of all, how dare you?

- He is, the Mammon. You don't just decide when things are over!

- You were smart enough to break it off with him over text, rather than in person, because he absolutely would throw a scene. No matter where you are, public or private. Think Sarah Lynn level shit.... like, literally stabbing himself, in public, to prove a point.

- What is the point? That he loves you!

- He's especially pissed off about the fact that you broke it off with him though. It bruised his ego, he would much, much prefer it if he had been the one to have broken up with you. He would have never done that though.

- He would go through the five stages of grief 100%

- For the first few days he's in DEEP denial about it. He'd go about life as though the two of you were still together, even though you weren't there.

- Pretending that you were on a work trip or something really helped. It gave him a sense of hope that one day you'd return to him, and he'd feel your warm body embraced against his once again.

- But you and Mammon were a big public thing, like, everyone knew about you. So, people started to notice your absence. Where you would always be by his side now bore an empty pocket of air. People started questioning it;

- From simple posts online to 666News interviews asking him invasive questions regarding your lack of publicity. It pissed him right off, because he couldn't pretend you were still with him whilst constantly being reminded that you weren't.

- And then you spoke up about the breakup.

- You made a Tweet regarding the status of your relationship. Que the next stage...

- With the world now aware of your distanced status Mammon was bombarded with crude comments and remarks, from your fans and haters, to his fans and haters. It'd range from "Wow Mammon fumbled the bag hard." to "Now that Mammon is single do you think he'll start letting groupies backstage ?"

- He actually refused to show up to a lot of interviews and talk-shows because every single time theu brought up the headline, he would get so, so angry. He's almost torn through an interviewer once or twice.

- His bargaining phase was the absolute worst phase though.

- Thousands of calls a day, and an equal level of voice messages followed by hundreds of texts. You'd block his number and then BAM, another number calls you. He manipulates the phone manufacturer of Hell to give him an unlimited free supply of phones so expect him to not let up in that department.

- You know that meme where the person is stood outside the door, crying, with an umbrella over their head and fake rain over them. That's him.

- He gets Beelzebub to provide the fake rain and probably prepared a whole speech to recite to you... its not that good though, most of it is deflective bullshit. He wont take his own problems into account at all.

- If you don't take him back after that then he may even resort to the old boombox by the window trick.

- I don't think he'd hit the depression or acceptance stages of grief, though. He's a tempermental character and he resorts to anger if something doesn't go his way. So the traits he shows through this whole ordeal is frustration and desperation.

- He has a strict victim complex too. So he's most likely never going to understand what he did wrong in the relationship.

- Even if he did realise what he did however, he isn't apologising. He expects you to understand and forgive him despite this.

-It would take him a long while to get over you.

-You were one of the only people who would put up with his shitty personality, who could make him feel so loved and adored. It had been a long, long time since someone had made him feel such a way. It was such a fleeting experience, and he will not be recovering from the loss of your love any time soon.

This is a little short, so I do apologise! I hope you enjoy it anon :)

#helluva boss x reader #mammon hb #mammon hb x reader #hb mammon #mammon helluva boss #hb mammon x reader #headcannons #breakup headcannons

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dxrksong · 11 months

Text

Jason 13 au

PLOT WITH MEMES

-----

Jason: you ever have that moment where you're relaxing on a rooftop with a nice cup of tea.

Jason: and then you get kidnapped by your reanimated bicycle from the GZ?

Danny, desperately trying to steer: NOT HELPING JOHNNY!!!!!

Jason: I know.

The Bike: :)

------‐---

Jason: so what the hell am I supposed to do with zom?

Danny: considering they're the only thing keeping you alive rn? Not much

Jason: how the hell-right right, acting as a vein system....

Danny: in theory if you do manage to absorb the blob ghost, you won't have to deal with the rage anymore? That's a plus right?

Jason: I know we use them as snacks sometimes but they're also PETS, phantom!

Danny: wait, you're keeping it?

Jason: CaN YoU NoT SaY It lIkE ThAt?!

--------

Constantine: what the fuck......*walks out*

BatMan: ???

Constantine: Manor's haunted.

Bruce: *cocks gun* always has been

Constantine: WTF?!

Batman: yes?? I know??

Constantine: byyyeeee

Batman: Constantine get back here!

--------

Jason: shit. Goin' ghost! Damn you kid, for infecting me with your stupid phrase! *transforms*

Kon, Jon, and Superman: *physical and visual distress as they immediately scramble out of their chairs*

Jason: ??? What's wrong with you??

Jon: YOUR HEART JUST STOPPED!!!!

Jason: oh. OOH! Yeah, it does that.

Superfam: *visible distress and confusion*

-------

Danny @ Jack with a little dance: you are my daaaaaad YOU'RE MY DAD!! Boogie woogie woogie!

Jack: AWWWW DANNO!!! *shamelessly shedding tears* IT'S BEEN FOREVER SINCE YOU'VE MADE LITTLE JINGLES FOR US!!!

Jason:

Jason: hmm

[Later]

Jason: *slides into the batcave*

BatKids: ??

Jason: *DEEP INHALE*

Jason, trying to mimic Danny's dance: YOU ARE MY DAAAAD! YOU'RE MY DAD!! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!!!!!

Batkids:

BatMan:

Batman: "Dad.....?"

-------

Batman: check out how hard I can cry! SUSHAUAABSIDBESJDDKEDB

[Note. May or may not be immediately after the previous meme]

--------

Danny: *dies screaming*

Also Danny: *screm powers*

Jason: *died in explosion*

Also Jason: *Explody powers*

-------

Jason: say hello to my BOOM STICK!!!!

The boom stick is a ghost glock. Jason can imbue it with his powers to make the targets explode upon impact.

-----------

Gotham:

Jason:

Gotham: *starts crying*

Jason: SHIT-Gothi, what's wrong?!

Gotham: Why must you grow up??! Why can't you stay my little birdy!

Jason:

Jason: look just because I said you don't have to mother me, doesn't mean-

Gotham: MY BABY DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMOOOORE!

---------

Jason: *gets hurt*

Shades: so you've chosen death

--------

Duke: shit, we're cornered!

Jason: don't worry, I got this! *High pitched scream*

Shades: *come rushing in to defend the baby*

Duke: WHAT THE-

Jason: relax, they're friendly.

Duke: I'm talking about how fucking girly that scream was J-*gets elbowed in the ribs*

Jason: You sure your name ain't Dick? Cuz you're sure acting like one!

---------

Bike: *in batcave*

Also Bike: *suddenly in the dining room, just sitting there*

Damien: ?!

--------

Damien: Todd, can you not leave your bike in random places in the house?! It's annoying!

Jason: my bike?? Oh, OH! That's just squishy, he moves on his own time.

Damien: are you saying your bike is alive Todd? Tt do you mistake me for an idiot?

Jason: why don't you ask the bike then?

Bike: *beeps*

Damien: *jumps 5ft into the air*

----------

Dick: Jason, we need to talk.

Jason: *sigh* fine, I admit, I put him in the nicu, but he deserved it!

Dick: what?! No, I mean about your bike! What the hell are you talking about?!

Jason: ooh! Nevermind then, carry on!

Dick: Jason, this conversation isn't over.

Jason: jeez, you're starting to sound like Bruce, just tell me what you wanted!

Dick: your bike is crying.

Bike: *just realized it was stuck like this*

Jason: ?! Squishy?! *runs off*

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dc x dp #jason todd #dc x dp au #dc x dp crossover #dc red hood #red hood 13 #halfa jason #johnny 13 #memes #with plot!

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gh0st-t0wn3 · 5 months

Text

Lmk ss edits + headcanons, Part 6 (Azure Lion, Peng, Yellowtusk)

(I originally made my own design of Azure and Yellowtusk but wasn't quite happy with how they turned out so I scrapped them, the designs for those two I used in these edits were made by @/erraday_ on twt, with a few minor changes, but Peng's design is my own :) )

- He/Him

- Pansexual

- Snores so loud, it's insane, Yellowtusk once thought there was an earthquake

- Feels bad whenever he's steps on a ladybug, butterfly etc

- Gives everyone and everything giant bear hugs because he thinks if Yellowtusk can take it, so can everyone else (They cannot)

- Mei once gave him catnip as a joke and he went fucking feral, he's not allowed near catnip anymore

- His hair/fur is actually very soft and curly

- Thought he saw an old friend while out in public and hugged them, it was a stranger

- Wakes up Yellowtusk in the middle of the night to ask stupid questions

- The Brotherhood asked to hear his roar but he got really nervous last second and it ended up being really meek, they never let him forget it

- Coughed up a hairball once and Peng refuses to let him live it down

- Has eaten cat food before and would do it again

- Cannot do the splits and is too scared to try

- Gets really confused by modern slang, MK and Mei abuse the hell out of it because it's funny

- Whenever he's rough housing with people he accidentally hits a bit too hard

- Whenever he walks past anyone playing a game that involves a ball (football, basketball, netball, etc) he somehow always ends up getting hit in the head with it

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he wouldn't know what the fuck to do and would be really awkward cause he doesn't know how to interact with children, he'd be able to bond with Redson better when he becomes a teenager though

- No one gossips with him because he always ends up unintentionally outing someone about something

- Ate moldy food once by accident and freaked out, he was absolutely disgusted

- Hates horror movies but loves slashers

- Drinks mouthwash

- Smells like catnip (trust me guys)

- Love language is words of affirmation

- Has horrible bed head, his mane gets tangled really easily and he tosses around a lot at night so his mane takes hours to brush out

- Absolutely refuses to wear shoes, they hurt his feet (paws?)

- The type of person to cry over a movie about a dog getting lost and then finding its owner at the end

- Can somehow eat an entire goddamn buffet and not gain a single pound

- His face always scrunches up when he smiles

- Lost his balance on a hill and fell down like a tumbleweed once, Peng still brings it up

- They/He (Canon, Peng uses They/Them in the show but is exclusively referred to w/ He/Him in the sets)

- Nonbinary (Canon)

- Starts squaking when he laughs too much

- If you throw a blanket over their head he'll immediately fall asleep

- "look behind you but don't make it obvious" Looks behind him in the most exaggerated, obvious way known to mankind

- Stole food from Wukong's private stash for several months when the Brotherhood was all still together, Wukong still doesn't know

- Wukong gave them cooked chicken once as a joke but he actually liked it

- Constantly argues with Wukong about Macaque not being able to hold his own, yes it got physical

- Their wings have a bunch of scars from the amount of weapons and shit they block with them. Has to consistently clean their wings in order to keep them from getting too damaged, yes this includes softening and preening his feathers

- If they weren't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid they would tape him to the wall like that one meme and call it a day

- Bit off a person's finger once just to see if they could

- Doesn't shop, just steals

- "I hate you so fucking much" as he's handing the person a gift

- Tried to draw on Wukong's face once but got wacked with his tail

- Absolutely HATES beetroot, will actually gag if he smells it

- Kicks over kids sand castles at the beach

- Can't stand small buzzing sounds

- "I'm not that competitive" is that competitive

- Claims you can trust them with anything but will snitch the second they know it will benefit them

- Probably threatened to eat someone's baby once

- Goes to playgrounds to trip kids

- Smells like Lavender, it just feels right

- Love language is words of affirmation and acts of service

- Has tried sleeping upside down like a bat multiple times

- Hardcore wine aunt vibes

- Had a bunch of ducklings accidently imprinted to him and they followed Peng for hours

- You'd have to pin this bird down to get them to eat collyflower

- Jokingly pushed Azure off a cliff once then remembered they're the only member of the Camel Ridge Trio that can fly

- They have full on concerts at like 3 am, has woken up Azure on multiple occasions

- He/Him

- AroAce

- Is the calmest one in the Brotherhood

- He uses Peng's head as an armrest sometimes

- He and DBK were actually quite close, he knew and accepted that DBK was in love with a celestial but was very surprised to see they ended up having a child

- Very poor eyesight but doesn't like wearing his glasses because Peng made a joke about them once saying he looked like a grandma

- Uses ":3" and ":D"

- Loves soap opera's

- Hates seafood

- Peng once tricked him into eating fish nuggets once and he still hasn't fully forgiven them

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he would definitely be the most responsible one, and probably Redson's favourite uncle

- Eats a snack then forgets he ate it and will bet frustrated when he can't find it

- The therapist of the Camel Ridge Trio, and probably of the whole Brotherhood in the past as well

- Was the only one who felt bad about imprisoning the Demon Bull Family since he and DBK were very close

- He also reprimanded Peng for when they pinned and scratched Redson with their claws after they left the Demon Bull Palace (he's the protective uncle, trust me guys)

- Hates getting hiccups, he despises the feeling and it gives him heartburn

- Wakes up at ungodly hours just to raid the fridge

- Heard a story about a bug crawling in someone's ear while they slept and has worn earplugs to bed ever since

- Loves apples

- Smells like Lilies

- Love language is gift giving

- Is really big on safety, would be the type of person to make sure everyone is wearing their seat belts before the car is even turned on

- Actually really good at cooking

- Makes the best chocolate chip pancakes ever

- Is the kind of person who assumes everyone tells eachother everything and accidently exposes someone because he thought everyone else knew about it already

- Always hears things wrong but doesn't wanna ask anyone to repeat themselves

- Has the most elegant ass handwriting you will ever see, somehow

- The peacemaker of the Brotherhood, they all would've disbanded way sooner if it wasn't for him

- Uses his trunk as a snorkle when swimming or sleeping underwater (elephants actually do this irl, I just thought it was cute)

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