#damn you matthew

[llynwen]

hey I saw your tags abt reading the MM book too and I desperately need to hear abt it from more ppl that also shoved it up their ass. Thoughts?

oh brother you have no idea just how many thoughts i have about it.

i really didn't wanna read the book because i knew it was going to make me go insane, but then a friend of mine who i'm trying to force to watch the show (i beg of you martyna. it's so good) decided to get it for me for my birthday.

from the very first few fucking pages i was Perplexed, to put it lightly. i was expecting a light and breezy autobiography with some silly childhood anecdotes and maybe behind the scenes tea about the hollywood crowd. Instead i was served almost 300 pages of trauma dumping, philosophical ruminations and some very TMI info that i wish i never read. i rated this book 5/5 on goodreads btw.

the first thing that really knocked me on my ass was this (i'm ignoring the ketchup story i DON'T want to think about that)

this should've given me an idea about that kind of book this was gonna be. yet i continued on, blindly, thinking, okay maybe he just wanted to get that out there. more power to him. whatever. (not really).

then the motherfuckers starts explaining his little philosophy, the titular green lights, right? and i'm like, yeah. i agree. you're correct. but why did it take you 50 years to figure this out? i'm 24 and i've been living by this very logic for years. Anyways. i continue reading.

now, bro spends half the book trying to convince us his parents were NOT abusive. i disagree. i think he has stockholm syndrome. i hope he's in therapy. i don't wanna think about this either.

now, this is where i started catching on that he was lying to me. i know it took me an embarrassingly long time, but i was giving him the benefit of the doubt. the undead parrot and the 13 story tree house, however, was what made me go Wait A Damn Minute.

yeah, turns out this book isn't a memoir, it's a mix between a magical realism novel, a self help handbook and a philosophical treaty. served to you on really nice paper (i mean Really nice. i appreciate that) with important words in bold, italics or even sometimes in green (which i appreciate even more, since i am tragically dyslexic).

after establishing that all men do is, in fact, lie, i gained a different outlook on the whole thing (i swear i need to read it again, this time in full englit major mode, make some notes and dissect this thing like it's shakespeare).

i like how candid he is about kind of getting lucky with the whole famous thing. he really took that slutty slutty waist and peculiar bone structure of his and said I'm Gonna Make A Career Out Of This. good for him.

he is, however, just a man, and at the end of the day, you can really tell he sees the world through his privilege. the white straight cis christian rich and famous thing kinda sways him into obnoxious territory in some parts, and it had me seething with rage. like, i too would love to go hike through south america because it came to me in a dream. i'd looooove to go visit my favorite unknown artist in a country on the other side of the world. i was half hoping to read about a piranha biting his shlong off when he went skinny dipping in the motherfucking amazon. (un)fortunately, no dice.

the david and goliath story made me chuckle out loud. he makes it Just believable enough to make you think about it. i like being made to think.

the philosophics continue in the form of the single most cursed wall of chicken scratches i ever did see. i sat there, straining my eyes, trying to decipher this shit, and i'm pretty sure he was on something when he wrote it because all of this

could be summed up with "you've gotta leave your comfort zone to learn more about yourself and the world." suck my cock dude.

i Really like how he talks about his wife. but then again, when you look at her, there really isn't any other way of talking about her.

i mean. how the Fuck did his stinky ass pull this goddess. lucky bastard.

now, the 3ish pages where he talks about filming the show (which was the whole reason i even started reading) are criminally underwhelming. i was hoping for a sneak peak into that elusive 450 page manuscript (i will Steal your laptop matthew. watch out), but instead i got a one liner of him being like i wanna play rusty because he's the specialest little girl in the whole entire world and the producers going yeah fine. THAT'S IT. still mad about this, especially because after that he hits you with the love letter to new orleans. i mean be serious. he should Not be allowed to write shit like that.

to summarize, i think he might be a genius, or he might be insane. he is probably both. i want to shove this book up his ass for many reasons, for example him making me learn the names of his kids (i hate knowing things about celebrity kids. leave them out of this) or for making me agree with him. because i do. agree. I don't appreciate his continued efforts to convert me to christianity and i think he's disgustingly obnoxious in some places, but the truth is he has a real cool outlook on a lot of things and i'm very mad that i now respect this bastard for more than his acting skills. i would like to buy him a six pack and listen to him talk about it. i'd love to argue with him, too. i can recommend this book to everybody who feels like they need to experience some psychic damage and maybe an existentialist crisis alongside it. on Very Nice Paper.

#i can never think about lord byron the same #damn you matthew #banger of a read for realsies #ask #matthew mcconaughey

[starch1ldz]

"I could fix him"

NO YOU COULDN'T BECAUSE HE DOESN'T NEED FIXING!! He needs love :( so so so much love and care and someone to treat him tenderly like he's the only thing that matters in the world

#star child speaks #star child is very gay #for spencer reid #i could be that somebody #just saying #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #im mentally unwell #matthew gray gubler #mgg #i love him your honor #hes just a little guy #and HE DOESNT NEED TO BE FIXED GOD DAMN IT

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Been a barista for about a month and a half now and I understand Emma Perkins in a whole new way because if someone ordered a plain black coffee and then tipped five whole dollars I’d probably catch some feelings too.

#before my fellow Paulkins stans come after me I know it’s about so much more than that #but damn if Paul isn’t just the Dream Customer #anyways can you tell I hate being a barista? #Emma Perkins #paul matthews #the guy who didn't like musicals #paulkins

[whoisspence]

wait do you think matthew ever just sat on his couch after a long day and watched criminal minds ?

#this thought just occurred to me #like do you think he ever just sat down and watched the show #he gotta be like damn i look so good #idk why i think the things i think #matthew gray gubler #mgg #criminal minds #whoisspence

[javelinbk]

Paul and John (and Ringo) talk to Brian Matthew on the first edition of the BBC radio show Top Gear, recorded 14th July 1964 and broadcast 16th July 1964.

Brian: In my young days, when I was a lad, they used to have actors in films and that, now they... Paul: Yes John: Eh, listen... Paul: It's all changed now John: It's all changed now Brian: Well, this is what I'm wondering. Paul: They're not doing that. No actors. Brian: In those days, the actors used to say their best bits were left on the cutting room floor, did you find that? John: No (laughs). No, no, there was the good bits in the film. You should have seen the rest. Brian: Yes? John: Rubbish. Brian: Was it really? John: Even worse, yes. Brian: Who was worse? John: Oh, Paul Brian: I see Paul: (laughs) No, I think John was about the worst John: No, it was you Paul: Ah, Ringo was very good Brian: He was Paul: He's a good lad Brian: They're saying he's... John: He was miming Brian: ... a new Charlie Chaplin. Do you think that's right? Paul: A new Charlie Chaplin? John: Oh, aye - he's an old one (laughs). Ok, Ring? Brian: He's beginning to look like it Ringo: Alright, John? CAN YOU HEAR ME? Brian: Now then... Paul: Can you hear him? Brian: Not really, I hope not. Hope not. John: We brought you the flowers, Ring

Brian: He’s not allowed to talk. Ringo: Eh? John: We brought you the flowers! Ringo: Oh, good John: And the grapes! Ringo: Oh, I like grapes! Paul: He likes grapes

#me whenever I see grapes: oh I like grapes! #I still fall in love with john every time I hear these clips #there's something so fond about the way he says 'no it was you' #even if it's about paul's terrible acting #and I love john and ringo together around this time #I had to split these damn clips but they should play straight into each other #paul mccartney #john lennon #john and paul #ringo starr #brian matthew #the beatles: live at the bbc #july 1964 #1964 #audio and transcripts

[tabithatwo]

mirrors and reflections in yellowjackets (part one: the pilot)

yellowjackets pilot (2019) / behind the draped mirror by colin dickey (2015) / on dionysus by svetlana kirute (2022) / venus in venice by anne hollander (1998) / venus with a mirror by titian (1555) / aphrodite and mirrors, author unknown (2009)

#i will do these for the other episodes eventually. because mirrors/reflections/sight are so huge on yj #and also because i am personally obsessed with mirror mythology #and both the jewish side and the southern american sides of my family made damn sure we covered mirrors when speaking of the dead #and when i tell you i gasped at both jackie and laura lee being the ones to hold handheld mirrors up #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #jackie x shauna #laura lee yellowjackets #lottie matthews #lottie lee #van palmer #yellowjackets pilot #yellowjackets

[lastwiltedflower]

things written in my notes app during my first watch of hey, melissa this morning

-no one out sleazes ted. get this man OUT! [on Freddie]

-I just know emma despises being put on delivering duty because isn't ccrp like three blocks from beanies... is she walking there with over a dozen orders of coffee?

-bill is the father of ccrp technical department love him for that

-oh where oh where has my greasy sleazeball gone?

-"don't work too hard!" "oh, I won't!" so he's just like me actually

-A REVOLVER? american civil war ass weapon

-Mr. Davidson WTF

-hot. just kidding.... or am I? [on Paul's "defeat" of Freddie in the basement with the belt]

-TEDDY BEAR?

-OH? found greasy sleazeball I guess.

-Catboy Paul Matthews enters the chat?

-Corey and Matt's faces... me too guys

-STOP MEOWING.

-Paul and Ted are so that one tiktok sound with the dog and cat going back and forth melodically

-this is what republicans think middle school bathrooms are like [on that scene that melissa films]

-ENOUGH MEOWING.

-Nick being iconic once again okayy

-Dude is way too horny right now... just leave man

-WOOF WOOF WOOF

-Slay (literally)

-BILL NO

-PAUL. PAUL ITS LIKE THE STORY YOU TOLD OH MY GOD

-YIPPEE! Safe at last

-GODDAMNIT

-*Mr. Davidson voice* Paul... Paul... PAUUULLLLLL

-Puss Matthews

-the immediate laughter and regret on everyone's voices the SECOND that last line was said

#hey melissa #nightmare time #team starkid #starkid #hatchetfield #thinking about the implications #npmd #paul matthews #ted spankoffski #melissa starkid #can you tell i lost my mind #this was an experience #mariah killed it though like DAMN

[jezter911]

#matthew macfadyen #it's like he's talking directly to you #of course he would have to read the lyrics to 'like a virgin' like this #god damn #*

[sunbleachedlottielee]

Yellowjackets 2x07 — I Don't Smoke by Mitski

#i haven't been able to stop thinking about this all day #lottie matthews #shauna shipman #shauna sadecki #yellowjackets #mitski #like you cant say this song isnt so lottieshauna it hurts #i only like them as a platonic ship really but a damn fine one #my edits

[ruthflemwad]

i'm DYING! DEAD ON THE GROUND! DECEASED! (thinking about let it out again)

#THAT NUMBER. THAT GOD DAMN SONG I CANT #AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH #PAUL MATTHEWS YOU CRUEL FORCE OF NATURE LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME #hatchetfield #tgwdlm #starkid

[mmmmalo]

#doodles #you got us matthew! #your smooth talking exposed out latent racism! #damn you are good!

[herman-draws]

matthew's room

#oc #oc art #lost and wayward #matthew #damn bitch you live like this /ref

[adamprrishcycle]

The declan lynch girlies when they see me, a fellow declan girly saying I’m a niall lynch apologist

#you can be both…right? #there’s just…so much to unpack #everywhere #also girlies is genderless in this context #declan lynch #niall lynch #ronan lynch #damn she gonna tag all the lynch’s? #the whole lynch collection??? #matthew lynch #aurora lynch #mor o corra #opal lynch #stop it now man #just stop #chainsaw lynch #lmao birds don’t have surnames #hand cat lynch #wait what #trc #the raven cycle #tdt #the dreamer trilogy #text

[heronchildlove]

James has definitely tried to use kisses to make Matthew stop rambling about something a mile a minute and actually pay attention to him.

It didn't work. As soon as they stopped kissing, Matthew picked up the subject right from where he left it lmao

#I love Matthew but damn boy Shut Up #he takes 3 paragraphs to say something you could say in one sentence hgjdsl poor Jamie #heronchild #james herondale #matthew fairchild #tlh #the last hours #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #headcanon

[manderleyfire]

‘rain' (rapa nui) by pablo neruda  ||  ‘wuthering heights’ by emily brontë  ||  ‘desgraciado’ (the collected letters) by angel dominguez  ||  ‘these hands, if not gods’ by natalie diaz

#larys x alicent #larycent #alicent x larys #alicent hightower #larys strong #his dreams are the color of her dress his hands are as red as her hair #sorry guys but it's a hozier song #'don't give it a hand offer it a soul' and 'don't let it in with no intention to keep it' #and 'honey don't feed *the rat alicent!!* it it will come back' and 'you should never know how easy you are to need' #damn now I feel the need to make a thing with 'it will come back' lyrics #the darkest the most poetic the most layered!!!!!!!!! #i'm not even going to tag it as hotedit because it's made for my creepfam and creepfam only #happy holidays to us and a glorious shoutout to matthew needham and that unparalleled brain of his #*kisses his intellectual curls* #shitty things i do for love #game of thrones

[dayurno]

Kevin Day would not use petnames. However if calls you an idiot at least three times a day that's how you know he loves you

YEAH THAT’S THE THING REALLY i think kevin’s first of all a low empathy & low emotional intelligence autism girl so he struggles with most aspects of affection nevertheless, but especially spoken conversation is hard for him and to both convey and understand an affectionate tone is a big task. that’s why kevin treats men like the dogs they are and unfortunately sounds like someone’s really uptight dominatrix in casual conversation

#sorry i think trying to date kevin is really hard and not for the weak #but its totally worth the effort i promise. i think. i hope #probably not #by then youre too into it to mind though #i love low empathy kevin hes watching matt sob to a movie like damn. its fake did you knowz #did you know. matthew. its not real #trying to get andrew and kevin to empathize with you is like trying to draw water from a rock #my loves #kevin #asks