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#dave u cannot just be saying shit

coleslawleviathan · 3 months

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okay so. i challenged myself to try and draw some snakes and try to capture the features i want to stand out for them. i wanted to see if i could make them all look distinct but where its obvious they look extremely similar.

heres the main lineup but i want to get into design elements for them as well as some personal headcanons.

FIRST! bibo.

okay so. i'm going to toot my own horn here. i think his beard looks so fire and i did a good job. i imagine this design is around the portable ops era... not much else to say because most of the interesting stuff (at least to me) comes from the differences the others have from him.

V!!! I LOVE YOU V!!!!!!!!!!

for venom snake, i made him look like big boss but Something's Off. in the game people often (notably huey and the boss' ai) don't recognize him as big boss for a few seconds. an imperfect replica because you cannot get that close with plastic surgery. i made the fat distribution on his neck a bit different from bibo's because i imagine the way that the human body configures itself is hard to change. if you noticed the little snake-tongue-shaped-hair-doohickeys, he is the only one with a slightly different shape. it's a genetic thing, you wouldn't get it. just thought that was silly. his hair texture is different, too. can u tell i like him a lot. also, my favorite detail might be his different nose shape. they never got bibo's nose right i guess. in mgsv, he actually has a bit of a downturned nose, and i honestly don't think i captured that enough.

TIME FOR MY FAVORITE BOY. LOVE OF MY LIFE. HOLDER OF MY GENDER ENVY. solid snake :3

SNAVID! the most obvious difference here is his nose. he broke it as a kid lol. i love headcanons. there's not as much to say about him as with venom, but i can say that he is incredibly handsome and i like him. i think he is cute. was he free yesterday? if so i would like to have dinner yesterday with him yesterday. well... i will say that out of this specific lineup i think he looks the most like good old dad. which is awful and i feel bad for him.

FINALLY: LIQUID!!!!!!!

i gave him his canonical sharp nose and high cheekbones! i based a lot of his features off how he looked as a kid so he really has little shit vibes about him. he also has thinner eyebrows, and i headcanon that he does them himself lol. he has less sideburny sideburns than his brother. his eyelids are also smaller. he also does look kinda like kaz so its plausible that he tricked dave! yippee! i also like drawing his hair. its such a great hairstyle. it reminds me of a lion's mane.

N E WAYS... i hope you enjoyed me rambling about giving these goobers a more realistic design for future reference. i like talking about this kind of stuff. life is so much better without same face syndrome.

#metal gear #metal gear solid #mgs #big boss #venom snake #solid snake #liquid snake #im going crazy

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souji-upseta · 3 months

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yo my name is nyx, it's my birthday today (2/3). my birthdays have sucked SHIT the past few years for reasons that are depressing—

—cringe is also dead, i killed her myself, and i'm still grieving her loss. its been very hard for me—

—since i am the protagonist of Me and can do st abt this, this year i turn 31, and i will at some point turn 31.4, with all of this in mind, what do i want for my birthday? i'll tell you:

to talk about homestuck.

i'll do that, anyways, but you'd be doing me a gift by giving me a prompt to follow, and to feel slightly more validated in my inability to shut up about my hyperfixation.

so i'm asking YOU to talk about homestuck with me.

talk to me abt homestuck? ask me my headcanons. my thoughts. my relationship to the work. tell me yours. expect nothing that's profound, and plenty that's stupid.

i'm even turning anon on, for the first time in 6 fucking years. where making this happen.

this never expires btw. today is my birthday, but, for story purposes, let's say that it's still my birthday after it isn't, bc i will still want and, if i am honest, NEED you to talk to me about homestuck for years onward. i'm very metatextual like that.

i get the feeling it's going to be a long day.

>Nyx: Be the other guy.

You are now the other guy! What will you do?

>Web Tumblr User: Inbox Tumblr user souji-upseta?

>Mobile App Tumblr User: Do that, but hyperlink is unavailable?

=(n×∞)>

FOURTH WALL BREAK!

you are now nyx again, and i am now me, and i need to exposit some lore.

as in, some starting points to get u going, since "homestuck" is a very broad subject:

•i'm a massive massive slut for the epilogues and post canon content/hsbc. pesterquest is too good for this gay earth.

•dirk is my fav, ALL of the dirks, all of them, and it isn't even close. my fav relationship is the canon platonic/familial one between dirk and dave. i fucking love the striders. dave is my 1.5th fav.

•im more invested in dave's relationship to corndogs (and corn dogs) than you even know.

•mspa reader is my second fav after the striders, bc they are a good thembo friendsimp and also bc they are me and they are You. i might be biased. i love You. i love me. i love us. we're fucking gr8.

•im pretty canon-compliant, so my fav ship is dirkjake as exes (for now), and my fav ship as not-exes is panquadrant (canon) davekat.

i'm also really fascinated by rosemary and would welcome more opportunities to learn abt and talk about them but if homestuck makes a statement about anything it's to let the women and the sapphic characters tell their story (thats a joke, talk to me abt them too)

•june eg(g)bert real.

•i'm fascinated by classpects and the applications of paradox space's classpecting and extended zodiac system when applied to real life, since our only experience of those fictional systems is in linear dimensions of spacetime, and our only experience of astrology is as a species that in-universe cannot experience the sign caste system the same way the fictional aliens that created our species in their own image do. skaia knows, but we sure as fuck don't.

•i'm a former prince of heart (2012-2020) and a current knight of space, and my aspect is light. that is a thing that actually makes perfect sense for the reasons i just said.

don't ask me about vriska serket or (vriska) serket. not bc i'm not willing to discuss dark or problematic characters (hello, lanque bombyx) but bc:

for one, she can speak for her damn self, and has, tyvm.

for two, talking at length about a problematic character in any positive capacity marks you as an enemy of the state if that character is a woman, and being an enemy of the state is way too much fucking pressure for me for reasons i already explained as soon as i told you i'm a knignt of space. i wouldnt make a very good enemy of the state. it'd be an unhealthy blackrom relationship to the detriment of us all.

for three, i can just give you all my opinions/headcanons on vriska that matter:

•JOHN HUGGING VRISKA IN HSBC YESSSSSSSSSS

•she's greasy and gross and unkept af but not unclean or unsanitary, like, she bathes, she smells fine, she changes her clothes, but she's got the troll crust punk aesthetic absolutely on LOCK. she doesn't comb her hair.

•it would have been funny if she did even more bad things

•aradia did nothing wrong. vriska did but the meme is funny even if someone needs to take that meme out back and shoot it for the good of humanity.

•she should beat up ultimate dirk, and my reasoning for that is bc that would, also, be really fucking funny if she did

•john has both punched her in the face and hugged her, and now that john has punched aranea in the face, all that's left is for june—i assume she will have come out of her egg(bert) by then—to hug aranea and complete the circle of stupidity.

•she is trans yeah but she doesn't wanna get into it, she doesn't have to, and neither do i.

•vrisrezi most important relationship in homestuck.

there. you already got me to talk about vriska at length, and you didn't have to try. moot issue.

#homestuck #dirk strider #dave strider #june egbert #vriska serket #dirkjake #davekat #strider bros #homestuck epilogues #homestuck post canon #homestuck meta #homestuck shitpost

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fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty · 1 year

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Drop the Miku Binder TJ rant bestie

okay so like

i was just thinking about it, and, like, i think it's fucking nuts but also really weird how the hamilton fandom (which i'm in but i swear i'm not an uwu lams turtles shipper please) somehow took this CRUSTY, TERF-BANGED, UGLY, OLD, REDHEADED, RAPIST ASS MOTHERFUCKER,

and turned his ugly ass into this.

like damn what the hell- what- how???? okay like yeah, they're using daveed diggs as a base for this bullshit, which, okay, fine, but YOU DID NOT NEED TO ADD THE INFO. The idea itself is funny but also a bit weird, however im 99% sure Diggs himself wore that shirt. However, all of the extra info??? come on. Where'd the fandom get this istg y'all-

Also, also, they did something similar by making John Laurens (gay blonde dumbass) into an UWU turtles boy. ....why. Bi trash coffee gremlin tumblr over-worked sleep-deprived alexander hamilton. like yeah relatable but. why. small bean big sweater uwu innocent boy blushy short james madison. ...why. bro was stubborn and would pick a fight and was the 'fuck you' type of shy.

I just find it wild the fandom made this and it is the entirety of the fandom into one. There's the good sides, there's the bad, and there's this. Which encompasses the ENTIRE. FUCKING. FANDOM.

The fandom has its headcanons, it has its perks, but then you reach the side where everyone is just a wild fucking original character. They don't model the historical figures anymore- they're just OCs with the name 'Philip Hamilton' or 'John Laurens' or god forbid our third U.S president 'Thomas Jefferson' slapped onto it.

I'm also so confused as to how this is what the fandom is known for. We have some good fics, we have hella good art, we have a M U S I C A L , and then the first thought people have of the Ham fandom is Miku Binder Third President Founding Fucker Slaveowner Thomas Jefferson.

I also find it kind of offensive (almost put insluting oh my ufckjg-) that they made a founder become this but like he'd probably be really pissed so please keep fucking up his memory lmao he deserves it

But like... also why. What made them think of this.

Like yeah I write 20k word TR smut but you don't see me drawing it.

You don't see me making him an UWU e-boy.

...Eh I probably would for shits and giggles tbh

But like this is founding father Thomas Jefferson. Third Pres. Second VP. First Sec. of State. And he is a furry, ex-cocaine addict. Also btw do they mean John Laurens or John Adams as the former drug dealer part because neither are better but it'd really help

Also bro literally raped his 14 year old slave and had like 6 kids with her. He had her room DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIS. He RAPED HIS DEAD WIFE'S HALF-SISTER. AND HE'S A SAD UWU MAN WHO DID NOTHING WRONG?

Let's not forget this same person made a post saying Lizzie (the Queen) would be reincarnated as a horse when she died. I'm serious. Deadass.

However, it's also funny as fuck because this entire thing is a tarnish to Jefferson and I fucking HATE that bastard so like good job lol

At the same time though it's still super weird??? But insane??? Because how did this become one of the Tumblr exclusives??? like it's Tumblr history at this point. Twitter history. You cannot express any like for the Hamilton musical before you get the 'have you seen miku binder thomas jefferson' and it's like 'well shit'.

But also remember: THIS IS NOT AN OC TO FUCK AROUND WITH. Hamilton the Musical specifically gave you and presented you the founder. Thomas Jefferson. Played by Daveed Diggs. Just because it is played by a POC, but also modernized, and vastly different from the actual founder and President, does not mean that at its core it is NOT STILL THE SAME PERSON.

If you name it Thomas Jefferson, if you use the presentation of him given by Daveed Diggs, you are still using that white fucking slave-owning racist motherfucker, and that's the point of it all.

I find it stupid but funny but also insane, and I wouldn't care, unless I KNEW IT WAS SERIOUS. The artist made it seriously. They made John Laurens. They made Philip Hamilton. They did this seriously.

but like also look at this lmao

This meme of Thomas Jefferson in a Hatsune Miku binder really got trending on Twitter at one point

It's an infamous, hellish, classic meme of both Tumblr and the Hamilton fandom, and it deserves what attention it's got, but Jesus please never unironically make shit like this again, Hamilfans, we're stained by this we don't need another😭🔫

EDIT:

i have more

So like, I just remembered: it kinda romanticizes these guys??? The musical??? so like don't get me wrong i love the music but... it puts them into this light. This pink light. It paints Hamilton as an abolitionist who was outspoken about it. When, in reality, dude traded and sold slaves for his in-laws + wasn't all that outspoken about it + was against immigrants or migrants, WHEN DUDE WAS FROM THE ISLANDS. HE HAD SCOTTISH BLOOD. AND HE'S AGAINST IT? Hypocrisy at its finest.

Washington also owned slaves and ran his own plantation too, so he's not off the hook. Madison, the 'uwu small bean' of the fandom, also owned slaves and ran a plantation. So the main people of this entire fiasco are slave-owners. Perfect. But also I've heard Ron Chernow's book on Hamilton, the entire start of the musical, is a bit biased to Ham himself, so...

You could be saying 'but FDRsduckfloaty, Sally is mentioned!' yes. But however, not enough. Not more. It's not even implied more than potentially ONCE what he did, and I'm not sure it ever was! Cabinet battle 3 states it flat-out but it was cut. For your info, Ben Franklin and John Adams are the only two you can really like in the slavery aspect. Ben bought them but let them go for their freedom, and John detested slavery and was against it. Never owned one.

Jefferson did add a slavery clause to the declaration but it was discarded, and he didn't fight half as much as he could have. Maybe he did and since it was the 1700s he didn't have a lot of support, but surely he could've done something like, I don't know, call it out after his terms? Once you're done gaining your second term and out of office, they can't do shit to it or your presidency, since it's over.

So the musical itself has its own problem and the fandom is even worse. It blatantly disregards that a LOT. A hella lot of the amrev fandom + a small part of the ham fandom has called TJeffs out for it but I mean can we please not make shit like Miku Binder Jefferson and act like he wasn't an actual child rapist???

This video does pretty well at it. I will admit the tagline 'America then, told by America now' almost sends shivers down my spine for what it really means. But then again I find men not knowing they'd make it down into the history books for starting the world's global power and the world's economic powerhouse pretty interesting. Doing something big and knowing it's historical, but not that it's going to form a very, VERY large country, where you'll be honored down the road and called a Founding Father of an entire nation? Signing papers and not knowing they're the founding stones of a country and still looked up to today? Intriguing.

But like still fuck Thomas Jefferson lmao

youtube

there's a lot more videos on it that dig deep, but the point is, that Hamilton is a good musical with good songs but it's also very... complex, and a bit problematic, Thomas Jefferson is a little bitch, and you should stan 1776 before you ever stan Hamilton. 1776 does not do this. It is much more realistic. 1776 has Benjamin Franklin and that's an immediate win. Be more like a 1776, be less like a Hamilton.

#miku binder thomas jefferson #thomas jefferson #this is the rant that woulda stayed in drafts #rant post #hamilton fandom #not just hamilton no no the fandom itself

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disabled-stuck · 11 months

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HI ITS ME CHRONIC PAIN ANON BACK AGAIN... here's my thoughts on who of the human cast is Aware That They Have Chronic Pain Issues. srry ppl were discussing and im like, Wow, Time For Me In Hc Central

june's issues start to really develop and get bad post-game (in my headcanons), so for a long period of time she literally has no one to talk to about it bc she's self-isolating. she eventually tells nannasprite about it when nanna is guilt-tripping her into getting up (nanna voice: Whatever works, hoohoo!), and nanna is like. this is my only granddaughter. i will do whatever i can for her. (i love june & nanna's dynamic. could u tell.) jasprose also is like GIRL!!! You Are In Pain!!! nanna & jasprose team up of the century to get june egbert to Acknowledge Her Problems

dave NO clue NO idea WILL not talk about it. maybe EVENTUALLY tells karkat about it but i don't think she ever seeks out a diagnosis or tries to get one. hes got old ingrained trauma about seeing doctors, which is something he's trying to get over, but like, he already has 4 bajillion other things to unpack about his childhood and healthcare systems are not historically good about chronic pain, a dismissal of their symptoms might set them back in that regard. they're just homebrewing this shit for now.

rose: yeah, she knows. she doesn't talk about it in those terms, though. instead of saying "i have a horrible migraine and cannot get out of bed" she tells kanaya to text the gc that she's afflicted by the Broodfester Woes and cannot join them this evening. theyve sort of picked up by now what that means but she thinks it's funnier this way.

jade: HMMM. i think she put herself through her denial paces but actually i think going grimbark essentially caused her to not feel her chronic pain (a side effect of condy's semi-control over her body), and when she got shunted back into her body she had to face the reality where she DIDNT hurt all the time like wow thats how ppl normally feel? what the fuck????

jane: oh absolutely fucking not does not know. unlike jade, his pain got WORSE during crockertier. yet it still takes literally two decades for him to finally acknowledge that his stuff is NOT normal and the fact that her whole friend group has chronic pain doesn't help, which kind of sucks. jane voice: well sometimes i can get out of bed when i have a headache and rose can't, so clearly its not the same (as if jane doesn't force himself out of bed even when he really shouldnt!!!). roxy has to be the one to tell him.

roxy: yeah she knows it's chronic pain. she's been worried about getting cirrhosis for years, and so has been keeping up to date on her physical health as a result. she figured it out pretty quickly after a couple flareups. trickster mode made it worse for her.

dirk: hal has been telling him for YEARRRRRRRRS that his carpal tunnel is just that, carpal tunnel. and yet. AR: Dirk, if you do not take better care of yourself, you are never going to be capable of building me a body of my own. TT: 1. I'm fine. 2. I'm not building you a body anyways, so the point is moot. anyways he accepts it during the game bc he's like you know what. might as well admit it to myself. good thing, too, because it only gets worse after a couple decapitations.

jake: has pretty much always known, deep down, but like. she lives on an ISLAND. the hell is he going to do about it? no, better not to think about it. someday they'll be able to deal with it, but that day isn't today, and theres so much to do. so he represses it DEEPLY. normal action hero jake english doesn't have chronic pain, of course. she's a heroic manly lead, after all... (the deconstruction of that mindset sort of makes them acknowledge it, though.)

ANYWAYS I JUST RAMBLED AT YOU FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED WORDS HOPE U HAVE, A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/WHAT EVER

YYAYYY no you're so good nonnie thank u forever and ever

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ryuseibutgayer · 11 months

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As I watch blue lock, I will update this with the names I knight each character with 🤺 If you're a triggerable fan, hush <3

Isagi: Isekai/ "NATIONALS NATIONALS NATIONALS" (wanna call him nationalist, but- yk-) / Never Noa / Noa stalker / Child Scarer

Bachira: (tokyo revengers) Ryusei Satou and Kazutora Hanemiya's love child,

AKA 2000s emo scene kid battling inner demons

Chigiri: Chigu/Strawberry man

Kira: #2 / Big goal save man / Dave bc my keyboard autocorrected to it and that's just who he is now, deal / mr celebrity / ISAGI'S YAOI BF CANDIDATE #1

Tada, #9: the man who sucks and ruined everything right from the start (LOOK I'M SORRY OK, I'M JUST USING WHAT HE SAID, AND I'M FUCKING AROUND) / one whose name cannot be spelled (none shall try)

Isagi's Original Coach: Mr.Snotway (oogway) (Yall saw that snot leak onto his teeth, right-)

Noal Noa: Bokuto from haikyuu, but make him football / Never Isagi

SIDE NOTE: who tf is the brat sucking his thumb while his hair looks like a pack of fucked up curly sticky notes - W H O A WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK GAVE MR SMILEY IN THE BACKGROUND HAPPY PILLS-?? AND WHO'S THE KOKICHI RIP-OFF, WHAT THE HELL-

Yokawa???: anyways, he's Nendou Riki from Saiki and Ryuji Suguro from Blue Exorcist's love child. I want his earring <3

Ishigari: An ape is the ape became the tree it climbs

Nishioka: Fucking Killua rip-off

SIDE NOTE: no. I'm going to quit r I g h t n o w if this bowl cut glasses baldi mixed with the short designer from incredibles on edibles looking mother fucker doesn't get off the fucking screen. Right now. Love the guy in the background opening his big mouth and "murmuring" :this guy can't be serious right now:

BRO DAMMMMNNNNUH, WHY IS THIS PSYCHO POTATO HEAD WITH A HEADSET LAYONG IT ONTO KIRA, F U C K MAN HE'S JUST AN AMBITIOUS KID- (lowkey his face reminds me of an attack on titan face, but sh)

BACHIRAS SLEEPY MOANS I CANT NDSIAIWEGDSMOQWOR OK I'M A SIMP-

Gurimu: gurimu is......oversharing because he's autistic. That's all I have to say tbh. / ankleless

SIDE NOTE: Why do none of them have socks or shoes in a concrete enprisonment block.

GOOD MORNING BACHIRA MY PRECIOUS LITTLE CARTWHEELING PSYCHO 💕💕💕

Kunigami: Captain Man (because why else tell him aye aye, bachira....?) / Bakudeku Love Child Abomination

SIDE NOTE: HOLY FUCK OK I UNDERESTIMATED ISEKAI THE CRACKHEAD, GODDAMNNNNNN POOR KIRA LMFAOOO tbh I wanted to see him get hit in the head with a soccer ball at the start of the episode anyways

DAY TWO MFS

Just saw the intro, who the hell is the emo with the hand and long hair over his face

Uhh isagi if you're excited in a concrete room with a shit ton of other guys in tight clothes sweating, ik it's pride but...keep it down here bud-

Who tf is the black and white haired guy, we've got Strawberry man and we've got penguin

DO THEIR PARENTS KNOW THEYRE LOCKED UP SWEATING WITH 300 OTHER MEN?

Dude what's with Mr penguin, he eats like a cricket ape

Bachira is my precious little schizophrenic baby

OH IS HIS NAME GAGAMARU? Bro I got so many jokes to pull hold up

Gagamaru: Penguin Face / Suicidal version of Shikamaru / Mr Penguin / Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't reada my foooootball faaace / gag on my kleats (or however the fuck you spell football shoes)

WHO TF IS MR JAPANESE DAVID BOWIE WITH THAT PLATINUM BLONDE HAIR AND EYELINER????

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simmonsized · 2 years

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Okay, I was going to write something about how I was happy about how you approached the subject matter with Bro and Dave in TRaG

But

My mind suddenly remembered what their sprites freaking look like.

I think about Bro Strider a lot (along with the complexity of the other characters) and then *boom*, I remember what he looks like in the comic.

Damn you fanart!!!!

TBH i was just showing my friend some of the homestuck pages to be like "look do u see do u see" and of course they're just like. their dumb big heads and lil bodies but somehow that just makes it all the better bc i know sO many people who are like "I couldn't get into homestuck because nothing happens" and i'm like yes but nothing happens in a SATISFYING way anyway their sprites are dumb but i still love them

ALSO: you were "going to write something" but you have already said enough to set me on my path here we are grab my hand welcome to nam etc etc etc

This really only encompasses Dave the God's relationship with Bro but like. It'd be too long to talk about Dave the Used to Be Sprite so! Forgive me.

WARNING: this post is 2000 words, I cannot and will not cut it shorter. If it's killing your dash, I'm begging you, mute me, or block the post.

Here we go!

Okay, so the thing is, when it comes to Bro, I have a really complicated history with him. Because obviously for YEARS he was the fandom darling, and we all kinda brushed off the fuckin' training and shit because that's just like, anime hullabaloo, the concept that he was preparing Dave for the game, but then also, when you take a step back and look at it, it's not like Dave KNEW there was a game at all??? and like. okay so just straight up right now i'm saying this FUCK hussie but these particular notes in book 2 of homestuck

kinda really changed things about the way we look at Bro as a person, as well as Dave's conversation with Dirk, though that comes along later. No comment on that line about Bro apparently """training""" Dave to take on the final boss. Because. Well. Lmfao. (Notes above are from Beatdown Rounds 1 and 2 in book 2 of Homestuck)

Enter: Dirk and Dave's conversation, basically the beginning of my insane deep dive into all things Strider, and dealing openly with abuse, past abuse, and recovery from that abuse.

obviously I cannot post the whole convo, it's easier for people to just read it BUT some highlights for context:

The start of it for me of course was "and he's dead now so that's that"

which is like. Kind of how it actually is when you have a parent (or insane older brother who is actually your parent) who dies but you're unable to EVER discuss your relationship with them or even confront them on all the horrible shit that went down, if you ever get to that point at all.

And because Bro was like, basically a giant fucking deadzone of just. Nothingness in terms of Dave's brain, when it came to any kind of positive emotion, it just??? Man that's one of the most interesting things about their relationship to me. Dave says "i think he hated me" but it really feels like, from their conversation, the fact that Bro did not express any kind of emotion at ALL led to what Dave felt must be fucking LOATHING. Man. I feel terrible for typing "and i find that fascinating" but i do so. lol

Insert "violent robot" comment here lol

also i know people have Opinions about Bro and his smuppets but tbh I don't want to fucking hear them when Dave was running around with a tiny smuppet butt walkytalky on his fucking wrist and also, when Dirk, mr "They're a funny little critter of your own design" Strider is sitting right fucking there so. Anyway that's all u need to know about that.

okay i lied i'm posting like the whole conversation i realize that u know but it's just

man it's right there lol

i LOVE that Dave associates Bro with the concept of heroism and being a savior of some kind, because in truth, it is likely that beneath all the bullshit, and even in line with the fear, there is a good chance Dave did admire Bro, to a point, until he had time to sit back and realize, "hey, what the FUCK was up with my childhood??? and wait, this isn't actually funny at ALL."

What's (not) funny to me is that, I don't much think of Bro as the kind of person who saw himself as a hero at all, and I say as much in RNG, but for him, and yes, this is a fucked up thing to say, I see it as: he saw raising Dave as A Job He Needed To Do, and everything in between Didn't Matter. We'll get more into this and the Dirkesian aspects of Dave's upbringing, even without Lil Cal, if anyone ever asks me about my genuine honest to god Bro Strider Personality Discourse but like. Basically dude's hells of about efficiency, and this is evidenced in the way that Dirk tends to push his friends, sometimes past the point of their personal comfort levels, in order to achieve a goal. I hardly feel like I'm reaching here.

And you know it does matter to me, that even though he is saying this to Dirk, he still says, "I didn't like you very much" because it's SUCH a thing with complicated relationships, it's SO much ingrained in our upbringings to love our parents, even if they completely fuck us up, irreparably. Am I saying that you HAVE to love your abusive parent??? dude FUCK no like, everyone's situation is different and there are always going to scenarios where broaching the subject is impossible, or something you don't want to do but

Well. It's my fucking fic and my take so! I have decided we're doing it, we're making it happen etc

Enter: Lil Cal and the potential for?????? Whatever was going on there

Obviously in RNG we take Lil Cal and Caliborn's tendency towards disgust for any kind of positive emotion, platonic or otherwise, and like, ok not to shit on caliborn i know that guy is just a little kid but lil cal is like, basically intended to be representative of Bad Things in the homestuck world so it's like. That's where we're at u know. Gestures above where it says "theoretically the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever" And u know yes this doll also had AR inside it, as well as Equius so???????? Fucking dude who KNOWS what's goin on with lil cal. Nothing good?????? Anyway

So then now that we have all this context, we take Dirk Strider, and we isolate him even further than previously thought possible, we give him the "theoretically most evil doll to exist in any universe ever," we wind him up, we watch him go.

That creates a baseline for my own personal little Bro guy which is "Dirk Strider with a Singular Purpose" and whose purpose was only to "Raise Your Player to Survive The Game" with a side of, man part of Dirk's still gotta be in there because holy fuck does this guy LOVE PUPPETS. which is fine u know. puppets i mean. muppet references. wow.

Bro Thoughts, Bro in Relation to Dirk, etc. U know how it be.

OKAY SO: starting with "It doesn't change my past or how I feel about him.... and I'm sure that's the only feeling I'll ever have about him."

For me, this is an easy thing to say when this person is dead. It's exTREMELY EASY to say when you will never see this person again, or have a confrontation with them, or even have to like, address it in regards to an interaction that hides your true feelings but you know, deep down, that they hurt you.

Basically, homestuck ended, I'm happy Dirk and Dave met in the middle with something like Understanding and Solidarity, but I just. Was so angry about Davesprite. And also wanted to get all up in the relationship between the Daves and Bro SO, SO SOSOSOSOSOOO BAD.

So then I did!

And basically, along with being a guy with no purpose, who, for all intents and purposes, would literally rather be dead, it's super interesting because like. Bro is Dirk, and I know people vary on mind control versus influence, but I like to lean into the concept of some kind of Influence, or PUSH but also that Bro was very much in control of his actions, and knew, to a point, that he was doing what he was doing. I just genuinely don't think he believed it was wrong, or if he did KNOW it was wrong, he was not going to stop, because at the end of the day, he was seeing results. Is that cruel??? yes. Is it cruel to both of them???????? hell yes. But efficiency and work and results are the baseline for a successful session, and that's uh.

I think of Bro as a man of just like. Pantshittingly terrifying Control, a dude who not only cares about results from Dave, but from himself, and whether that's Cal or Dirk talking, who really knows!

think all the time about the time Hussie said that Bro has never slashed Dave with his sword. I know the fandom doesn't mention it much lol but it's always on my mind. No, punching and kicking your teenage bro-son is not better. But it's fascinating, that that's where he chose to draw the line.

Perhaps because as they said, sword strikes tend to end in people's deaths. Hmm.

Anyway since the Thesis of RNG is based around Reconciliation, but not necessarily forgiveness, at least not as an outright stated thing, we see a lot of just. Talking in circles, circling the drain, over and over. Naval gazing, I love it. Can you tell???

The thing with past abuse, about loving a parent who hurts you, is that you can still love them, after they hurt you, and You do not Have to Forgive them, but you can still love this person, and you can see hope to and seek change. You can still want a relationship with this person.

It's important to me that Bro seeks forgiveness. It is not Dave's (either of them) job to forgive him. There is a reason that (spoilers sorry) Bro says sorry in chapter like, fucking 14, but the fic keeps going anyway. "Sorry" is the beginning. "Sorry" is the start on a path towards better things.

Along with all this is Bro learning to be a person who no longer has a job to do. He's learning to be Dirk Strider again, something he hasn't really reckoned with since he was maybe, what, 13 years old?? His entire life has been dedicated to serving The Timeline, while not necessarily even being connected to his own aspect, at least not in a healthy way, and like. Once again this is not a Post About Bro Strider but bro in context of Bro and Dave so u know, but I do, again, see the guardians as the worst reflections of the kids themselves, and that goes fucking quadruple for Bro! He is the fucked up heart guy who severs connections and is tied up with strings, it is him.

On top of recovering personhood, though, he is also reconciling with (two of the same) a kid he not only abused, but potentially never loved, at least not in a way that makes sense to Dave, or sometimes to the reader. There is resentment, and there is frustration, and there is something to it, losing your own life at the expense of raising a kid. Yes, it's a comic about a video game, but I'm writing a fanfiction, and there is definitely something like overlap, in ineptitude and parenting from a young age. I still believe they had good memories, examples we see in the text where Dave talks about how he and bro had rap battles that were just throwing shit at each other's heads with their sylladices (dangerous) and like, building forts and shit. There is still softness, in the places in between.

But there was cruelty, too, and that's obviously the forefront of the whole situation, and it's so important for Dave to be brave enough to call his Bro out, to demand change, and it's important that Bro WANTS to connect with him, even if he doesn't know how. Even if he's so fucking shitty and sucks SO much.

Obviously a lot of what we learn is from Dave's perspective, and a lot of that comes at the marvel of, wow my Bro is back, and the concept of like, the Ultimate Reward being what the players wanted, and in RNG canon (fake) basically the kids just wanted to fucking. go home lol. John at least definitely deserves to have his dad back!

But Dave's (both daves) not just a little kid anymore, he's had 3 years of development and change and growth, and he has a way of looking at the world that differs vastly from how he grew up. Bro, someone he never knew but felt he knew, and then lost and didn't know all over again, is suddenly a Big Unknown, and that's??? fucking scary! Trying to reconcile with a person you love and fear is one thing, but doing that when you're learning you barely know them as a person at all, particularly because they were like, Just Your Guardian and you'd only known them from the shitty little kid perspective?? makes it tough. It's easy to say "i wish you were dead" it's hard to admit "I don't wish you were dead, I just wish you were better" and! That's kind of where we start lol

RNG has a lot of "three steps forward, two steps back" and as much as that frustrates people (and trust me, I see the comments, I know lol), that's just the way life is sometimes. They're on a set path, and Bro has to fucking learn not only his lesson, but that he can't just change because Dave(s) wants him to change. He has to change because HE wants to change, too.

#THIS IS SO LONG #I'M MORTIFIED #nobody read this please #thanks i barely scratched the surface help help help #this is specifically about #the run and go fic #yes i go on a huge rant about dave BUT like #it's mostly about bro and dave and my fanfiction #which i wrote obviously so i'm mortified but it's fine it's fine it's fine #LONG POST warning

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kaleschmidt · 1 year

Text

anyone ask for henry thoughts ramble post? well like i fucking fucked up my first draft and deleted all of it by mistake so um. i am now writing it all over again. i hope he explodes.

anyways it's all under cut and i need you to know i'm dunking on him so much he's gonna be a soggy cookie ok? ok nice

i have SUCH a burning hatred for henry to start this off. It was like. worse when I first got into dayshift, but i am now capable of hating him more in a cooler way

I hate Henry as a person but as a CHARACTER he's fun to me. I'm glad we know his backstory, even outside of the story, and that he's not excused. Yes, he had a shit childhood and experienced the horrors of war, but what he did after the war- all of dayshift's events... it doesn't excuse what he did, and I'm glad about that because like if he got redeemed, I would have had to get in the game and maul him dog-style myself. /lh

Now. Onto my interpretation of him.

Something important to me while writing Henry is that he's vague. He's never written in his own first person perspective. Only seen through others. Nobody knows what he's thinking. Only a VERY select few people can get close to his motives, and even then, they aren't on the money. Even when his son gets murdered (sacrificing nemself to save another's life), it's kept vague how exactly Henry feels about it. Kale (oc) believes that Henry's uncharacteristic aggression towards Dave prodding about his son is due to either Henry actually caring about nis death, or being upset his son's death stained the family, but it's never confirmed. As much as Kale likes to say it knows Henry more than he knows himself, it also admits that it could never know what Henry was thinking. Also kale is an unreliable narrator and has fucking issues /lh. I'm never gonna write Henry in first-person because I find him more interesting when he's not exactly picked apart from the inside, but the outside, if that makes sense?

Something also to note, which is canon anyways I believe, is that Henry is always scheming, no matter what. Always prepared. He makes sure that everything will go his way, albeit the small divergences and such. It's the big ones that irritate him. He'll always manage to improvise, though. hard to improvise when u get jumped by a dog and bitten and dragged to the void tho. #lol couldn't be me.... i'm different

ok like give me a bit i am so sad that my first draft was fucked up bc i had a lotta good points i couldn't remember. sniff.

I won't touch upon it too much (maybe in Jack's ramble if anyone wants it) but I really like parallels btwn Jack and Henry, especially as there are canon parallels. Henry is the Beginning, and Jack is the End. (i am so normal about this phrase btw. trust me.)

Also won't touch upon Martha in this post because she gives me major brainrot i have so many thoughts about her.

About Henry's void... i actually dunno if that's a confirmed char or not, but the concept is really interesting to me (...and i kinda accidentally did that before i interacted with the fandom too). Would love to dive into that but part of it is tabbykat's playground spoilers. And also will make this post longer than needed. just ask for kale ok?

OH another thing. More of a personal pref n no hate to those who do this, but I do NOT like henry good aus... genuinely cannot see that happening. Better counterpart for me is that he doesn't do murders but also he is a terrible dad in the most funny way (those terrible, terrible baby clothes. you know the ones.) I also just think man just became the way he is by himself n not the void but mostly bc i'm fond of my own interp who i would love to beat up and explode

I think. that's all i had but like closing this off with a song in my playlist for henry: Drink To Me. Look it's SUCH a fucking henrycore song. SOOOO fucking much. Parts of it relate to Dave ofc. god. Anyways hope y'all enjoy reading through this i love going into my thoughts of chars and should do it more

EDIT:

OK I FORGOT TO PUT THIS AND I CANT BELIEVE IT but I think of Henry gasterisms ok? He is gasterisms. And I think that's another thing that makes him interesting to me bc I like gaster. My brain is kinda fried but I need to put this hwre.

#Grave's Digs #TabbyKat's Playground #i am NOT maintagging it ok.#world's most normal henry hater /lh #again if anyone wants to ask me abt a specific char. i would love to ramble abt them.#...minus most dayshift 3 chars i am so fucking sorry i am not caught up onto their deepest lore yet. i'm getting there i prommie.#TabbyKat Rambles #SIGH. UNFORTUNATELY I DO HAVE TO TAG THIS.

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dav3katz · 2 years

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Hello ! Nice to see a new homestuck blog. This fandom dead as shit lol. Do you have any just general hcs for what it’s like to date dave or dirk?

Dave relationship hcs

- Dave is pretty new to relationships, but he tries to be as cliche and romantic as he is able without letting his cool guy act be sabotaged.

- but at the same time .. he is like.. a huge fuckin dork lmao like overly sappy and just .. my god this boy is actually a mess

- he makes raps for you, yeah how original OP. Listen..!!! I know.

- but seriously yeah makes you raps and then wants your opinion.. he’s dying inside waiting for your reaction to it, but he’s happy when you say you like them :))

- he craves validation, especially for his raps tho.

- but sometimes he gets up in his feelings and wants you to validate him as a whole

- which he will deny getting up in said feelings

- teases you a lot

- he’s also always blushy around you .. blushy boy ..

- so like any affection he gives .. big blush on his face

- likes holding your hand a lot (and kissing them)

- likes sitting in your lap as well, doesn’t matter if he’s bigger than you or not

- goes “mwah mwah mwah” everytime he kisses you

- draws dicks on you while you’re minding your own business . He does it to karkat too tho

- doesn’t matter if he’s taller, when you kiss he wraps his arms around your neck, with your hands on his waist

- he likes his hair being played with but he won’t tell you that ;p

- likes you wearing his shades btw . He thinks it’s cute he dies inside whenever you do

- rambles to you a lot.. big surprise .. but he will ramble to you about anything and everything and appreciates you listening to him

- he rambles about you to rose a lot, well just anyone really? But mostly does it to rose, John, karkat, and kanaya.

- are you actually strong enough to carry him? Or is he just floating? The world may never know..

- he’s clingy and is always with you. On the off chance he isn’t you’re send a million “mwah” “love u or whatever” “<3”

- he can only keep the cool guy act for so long okay .. but he can be lame and sappy… just for you..

- but at first he’s awkward about his feelings he has so much he wants to let out but he’s trying so hard not to be a complete dorky loser in front of you so he’s so weird at first about affection and just.. a lot of things.. when he finally lets loose he’s fine

- he’s annoying and likes annoying you >=)

- “babebabebabebabebabebabebabebabe” “WHAT” “hi”

- the only reason he confessed is rose ? Like tbh . I think he would repress his feelings for the rest of his goddamn life . Especially if you’re a dude cuz holy shit

- but yea he spends so much time trying to not let his whole heart out, he can’t help but wanna express himself with you (when he’s more comfortable).

- kanaya and rose find it funny to just make you nice outfits so that Dave has like a heart attack <33

- “Dave look at this new outfit kanaya made me!” “Dave your face is redder than usual are you ok” “yes just having a heart attack is all.”

- the first time you you kissed him, he’s red in the face and just starts randomly beatboxing bc he cannot handle how cute you are and how great that was

- likes just chillin and listening to music with you

- loves cuddling you to sleep!! Usually likes being the big spoon . He likes the idea that you’re safe in his arms

- but like? Also likes being the smaller one when he’s just tired and sad and just .. needs to feel safe for once

- but if you try to enforce being the big spoon it takes some getting used to but he likes it so =)

- you guys got your own language at this point, communicating random shit with your hands.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY SAYING NOW. IS THAT HUMAN SIGN LANGAUGE?” “Definitely not.” “Yes I’m Not Sure What They’re Saying Either” “oh! They’re saying how karkat is really fuckin stupid! Haha!” “John why do you even know that” “WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT. WHAT.”

- carries you bridal style while he’s like flying.. just like.. looking down at nice views with him and shit.. so long as you trust him enough for that lmao

- he’s a dork and gets you flowers when you go on dates =) he refused to when you started dating so now he uses every opportunity he can

- also he’s very chill, like goes wherever you want to and it’s very hard for you to upset him

- likes neck kisses of any kind . Receiving or giving

- just stares at you .. a lot .. usually you can’t tell because of the shades but if you pay attention to the way he smiles you would be able to.. he gets this warm smile when he looks at you

- he just loves looking at you.. all the time… in a non creepy way ..

- he does worry a lot, so he does get a bit protective at times. Given everything he’s gone through, naturally he fears something could happen to you.

- he wants to be able to keep you safe and he fears he can’t do that. + he just fears the day you’ll die . He’s just . Rlly scared for all of that and thinks about it a lot and sometimes just needs some reassurance

Dirk relationship hcs

- oh boy

- well, he’s extremely grateful you’re dating him, he’s pretty self aware that he’s not dating material. Or at least, thinks he isn’t.

- of course, there will be some problems to work through in your relationship, he needs somebody who can get him to open up and talk about his emotions. It’s hard but he can succeed if he tries at it.

- he would hesitate for a long time to tell you how he felt about you, but I think his friends would be really encouraging about it.

- plus yknow… Hal … would probably do something

- speaking of, Hal does a lot of things to embarrass dirk and expose him for his affections to you, even while you’re dating.

- “he totally lovesssss you” “no I don’t” “he wants to kisssss youuu” “shut up”

- it takes awhile for him to be affectionate, and to truly express emotions very freely. However, when he does, he does.

- he won’t get too sappy on you, but he’s a lot better at expressing himself than at the beginning of your relationship. If you say “I love you” he says it back, and may even say it first on days he’s feeling particularly softer than usual

- he typically likes buying you things, it’s mainly how he shows affection

- he gets awkward at first with physical affections, but he grows to love it. Never initiates it though, even though he wants to.

- just kinda acts all tsundere abt it tbh

- but he loves it :)

- usually the most cuddly when you’re both sleepy and tired

- he likes being picked up, wrapping his legs around your waist and his arms around your neck :D

- that goes for while kissing too

- likes touching your face

- speaking of touching loves being touched now and is low key clingy af he just doesn’t wanna show it. Cant blame him tho he hasn’t been touched like almost his entire life

- he also teases you a lot, more than dave would though

- it’s how he shows affection <3

- you play with this hair and he goes >:( he takes too long to do it everyday ok . Don’t play with his hair unless he’s gonna sleep

- usually likes control in what you guys do for dates, but doesn’t care if you come up with plans sometimes

- he likes watching anime with you

- he gets kinda blushy and flustered.. quite a bit.. especially when you’re being touchy

- likes wearing your clothes, or you wearing his but it usually leads to more NSFW thoughts so I will not go too into that LOL

- big on cuddles, number one way to get him to be very touchy with you and affectionate

- likes putting his face in your neck when you cuddle, or when he’s feeling cuddly and affectionate in general

- when you cuddle he clings onto you like some koala

- when cuddling he tends to be more open and vulnerable so sometimes just vents about shit

- or like mumbles in your neck about how much he loves you and he’s sorry he doesn’t tell you it enough

- when you text him he gets all giddy and shit . All excited like “Omg haha what do they want”

- likes just listening to music with you and vibing

- cursed hc but he listens to blink-182 with you

- also . Yes bad at expressing himself at times but do not doubt his affections for you . You are quite literally his world and he will defend you through thick and thin

- touch is his love language now BTW . Kinda your fault tho :)

- tends to pay close attention to you, just little things he notices about you that even you don’t notice about yourself

- he’s not trying to be creepy promise he just likes looking at you

- which means though that he noticed your behaviors and habits

- and tends to copy them without meaning to

- like if you tend to say “like” a lot, guess what he says it a lot now.

- do you make specific hand movements when you talk? Well .. so does he now

- roxy is your guys number 1 shipper btw . They think you guys are just the cutest

- but absolutely teases tf out of dirk

- also Jane is the fucking “lesbian bullies gay man” meme but with you she’s like “hello sweetie honey baby Angel”

- Jake loves you guys too =)) he always asks dirk how you’re doin

- imagine a double date with John and Roxy. “I’m cold” “here you go Roxy! :)” “I’m cold too.” “Well damn y/n I can’t control the weather.”

- he is a good bf tho . Promise .

#dirk x reader #Dave x reader #dave strider x reader #dirk strider x reader #hs x reader #homestuck x reader #homestuck Dave x reader #homestuck dirk x reader

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mirrorforevers · 3 years

Text

here, there, and everywhere • graham coxon/reader

this fic is based on two prompts y'all sent me:

and

this fic really tested all of my blur knowledge holy Fuck. blur as talking heads au i guess. how cool would it be if they

1. had a girl bassist instead of the cheese tory dude

2. werent as unhappy as they were in the mid 90s (just a bit)

3. were just a little 🤏🏻 bit more female friendly lets just pretend this is a universe where the blurjob passes didnt exist heh

it took me everything i had to make this sound as realistic as it could be. u know these girls who think they could fix patrick bateman or don draper? perhaps y’all could fix blur

consider this a gift n not only me writing for your prompt, @nottuned! thank u so much for all your support n encouragement n for always bein so sweet 🥺 i hope u enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

let’s see how many references to unfortunate britpop moments y’all can find in this

also i hope i captured the silliness of the gossip and drama in that era well. if you enjoyed it, please leave an ask telling me more! ur feedback is rly important to me 😔✊🏻

tw (?) reader has shitty parents

word count: 7.938 (this one's quite long!)

smut. set in the 90s. au.

You were unlocking your door when you heard your house phone ring. The shrill sound echoed through the empty corridors as you hurriedly unwrapped your scarf, tossing your keys and backpack on nearby furniture as you ran to answer the call.

“Hello?” You answer, panting.

“Y/N?”

“Dave?” You smile, that call was a very welcome surprise. Your friend owed you an answer.

A few weeks ago, Dave Rowntree, your music classmate who became a close friend, told you that he had teamed up with two other proficient musicians to form a band. Dave was ecstatic, and every day he had new stories about his new friends to tell you between breakfasts and lunches that you shared between the countless hours of rehearsals. Even though you weren't part of the group, you already felt that you knew Damon and Graham like the back of your hand. Yin and Yang. One was expansive, ambitious, vain, impulsive. The other, shy, introspective, anxious and careful.

Damon Albarn wanted to be an actor, Graham Coxon had a firm foot in the visual arts. One was a fan of grand classical compositions, the other was a Beatles fan. They had been friends since they were children, in a seemingly unbreakable bond. Damon dropped out of his theater class not only because out of a sudden he had found a bigger calling in music instead of acting, but also because he couldn't stand being away from his best friend for so long. You found yourself often imagining their faces and voices while trying to make all of the wild and endearingly funny stories Dave told you more tangible in your head.

It was not long before Dave started dropping little hints that they needed someone else for their project. “It’s not that Graham isn’t good at bass,” he’d say, “but we could do better.” It wasn't at the top of your plans to be part of a band right now, especially as you were preparing intensely to join the Royal Academy of Music, and he knew it. When you mentioned the conversations you had with Dave about the boys on your family dinner, in quiet wonder and timid want of being part of something really exciting, your parents wrinkled their noses. Focus on the greater things, they’d say. Don’t let these boys distract you from your goal.

Our goal, they meant to say. Since you were born, you never knew if the things you wanted were really your will or theirs.

But anyway.

That dynamic went on for a while, until the day Dave invited you to audition for them while you shared a Diet Coke in the tube home.

“Will it take too much of my time?” You asked, coyly.

“Bold of you to assume we’ll let you in that quickly.” He chuckles, amused by your confidence. You playfully elbow him in return. He knew how good you were at what you did, though, and there’s lightness in his tone when he continues, “But no, unless you let it. You’ll probably have to stand up to Damon every once in a while.” He sips the drink, handing it over to you.

“What about Graham? How much is he determined to make it big?”

“Damon’s the one who wants it the most. Graham’s studying Fine Arts at Goldsmiths, so. There’s still cautiousness in him.”

“Huh. Okay then.” You reply, thoughts running wild. “Do we have a time and date?”

“Is tomorrow ok to you?”

“Sure. After our class?”

“Perfect.” The train reaches his station. He ruffles your hair: “See you tomorrow then.”

“See you.”

You don’t tell anything about it to your parents, you just warn them that you’ll arrive a bit later than usual. Dave’s intel was crucial to your choice of songs: knowing Graham was the beatlemaniac and also the rational brake to Damon’s tireless ambition, you knew who to please and have as an ally, so you build an innovative and fresh mashup of Paul McCartney’s greatest basslines to play for them. Of course it could backfire, but you didn’t care. You had a hell of a good ear anyway and if Damon wanted you to play anything out of the blue, you would improvise beautifully over it.

The day comes. You didn’t know why you were that nervous for an amateur audition. You weren’t even sure if it was the right path to follow, given that, depending on how focused Damon really was and how contagious his aspiration was, being part of a band could really take you out of your predestinated course. The reason why you were so nervous, now thinking a little more about it, may be because deep inside, you want your path to be a little less predictable. You didn’t want to fill your heart with hopes that you might make it big and travel all over the world because you didn’t even know them. But… what if it clicks? You knew some people in the scene whose work was getting seriously recognized out there.

Meeting them for the first time was an enigmatic experience. Damon was incredibly brash and cocky - not the first theater kid you’ve met in your life. Graham was way more approachable, though also a bit conceited when pushed just right. You wondered if you’d fit in that boys’ club, and decided you wouldn’t be an easy target for discredit or any kind of shit they might give you. “Took me a while to fully get their trust. You’ll do just fine”, Dave said, out of their earshot.

That gave you more fuel to play amazingly well. Damon definitely wasn’t one to be impressed quickly, but he was, when you finished your set. So was Graham - Graham was starry eyed with your performance, actually. Albarn showed you a song and asked you if you could improvise to it, just as you imagined. Of course you could, on the first play. You even suggested some adjustments to its structure. Your feedback was welcomed and noted.

Even though everything went surprisingly well, you still weren't sure if you would be a member of “Seymour”, as they called themselves. (You knew it wasn’t the best name, but you didn’t have a better suggestion at the time so you’ve kept your opinion to yourself.) Graham became eerily quiet out of a sudden and wouldn’t cross eyes with you the entire time you were there. Damon, well, was Damon. Perhaps he thought you were too ordinary and mainstream for deciding to play Beatles when he’s trying to be the new avant-garde Jesus.

But Dave's news was different than you expected. “They really, really enjoyed your audition. As I thought they would.” You can hear the smile in his voice. "When can you rehearse with us?"

Months after, on your first gig as a fully formed and integrated band, Damon was hit in the face by a guy twice his size, Graham vomited onstage and you and Dave had to take care of both. A beautiful way to close the already exquisite day you had, after you fought with your parents, got kicked out of your childhood home and gave up on entering the Royal Academy of Music two days after you received your acceptance letter featuring rave reviews of your entrance exam.

Dealing with these boys - no, grown-ass men - was hard, but not completely unpleasant. If it were totally unpleasant, you wouldn’t give up on your entire life to embark on such an adventure.

You - plural you - were so gifted and Damon’s compositions were so good. You could see that artsy pretentious mess of an act going somewhere. Of course, you were a bit lost in your life, but so were they, as you ran from city to city meeting new people and trying new things in your journey to fame.

Loneliness, once a close friend, became a distant acquaintance. One you didn’t know anymore.

You confess you were getting worried, though, with how much money you had left on your savings and how much you were spending lately now that your parents weren’t an active part of your life. Wanting to eat something you cannot dream of buying without that money being really useful in a much more critical situation, not having nearly enough money to replace something important that broke or got torn off was frustrating. Some basic things became luxuries out of a sudden.

One day in particular, you very briefly mentioned that you were dying to eat a slice of chocolate cake, but your voice was so small and everyone was so immersed in their duties you thought no one gave two shits to what you said. Two days later, Graham arrived late at rehearsal with a small chocolate cake in his hands, handing it over to you like it was a completely ordinary act. Nothing in the way he acted told you he expected a reward, it was so natural and… gentle. You knew no one in your band could buy a chocolate cake without it being apocalyptic to their personal finances during that time.

That day, you were assured by fate that feeling lost together was better than feeling guided alone.

The band finally got on track - strictly musically speaking. Personally speaking, many contemporaries who followed you at parties and other events described you as an ever-growing odd, annoying and intermittently disarming bunch - and Blur and its members became household names, at least in the UK. It became harder and harder everyday to impose yourself as an entire industry and its target public aimed to tear you down. Men couldn’t understand.

(Graham Coxon was the one who tried the hardest to.)

It was four in the morning. You’ve got used to following your bandmates to hospitals, running away from trouble or knowing when to relish in it. But it was the first time you offered yourself to clean up dried blood from one’s face, given how much you hated seeing the fluid and even fainted when younger whenever exposed to it.

You, so delicately, wipe the saline solution-soaked cotton across Graham’s face, who flinches at the cold sensation on his still sensitive skin. He stares at you with the eyes of a child, and you couldn’t help but give him a slight, warm smile in return, which he retributes. Your face conveyed gratitude and affection towards the one you were taking care of. Your hands still struggled to stay completely still after the surge of adrenaline your body received a few hours ago.

Being the only girl in a massive band, and one the music magazines and mainstream media loved sexualizing, meant having paparazzis in your window in odd hours (not that that’s acceptable in any hour, but you had to lower your standards even more these days), meant having different photographers trying to pressure you to get into all kinds of uncomfortable angles with skimpy-ass dresses and just count on the intervention of your fellow bandmates so they would stop, also having invasive male fans who would try to harass you in any way they could.

Of course the day where one of your bandmates would get into a fist fight with one of these men inserted into these categories would come. And even though they were all protective of you, each in their own peculiar, increasingly contradictory way, Graham’s dedication to it was sometimes commendable.

You were making your way through a small corridor of people on your way to the stage when a random guy cupped one of your breasts. It’s not like the venue was incredibly tight, it could not have been on accident and it made your blood boil. You turned around to scream at him, and Graham, who was just behind you, threw a punch directly towards the man’s face, without thinking twice.

And oh boy, took a lot of people and a sweet amount of time to separate the two after that.

After all was said and done, Graham had a few scratches, a black eye and a cut brow. He kept dodging your many “sorrys”, “you didn’t have to do this” and other expressions of guilt. “You have nothing to be sorry about, he deserved it”, he kept assuring you, like a mantra, just giving in to your pleas when you supplicated to take care of his wounds during intermission and after the show.

“I get why you did what you did, Gra. I hate that you took such a risk because of me, but I understand.” you say, voice cracking from not using it for a while after spending some good minutes in complete silence taking care of him. “However,” you soak another cotton ball in the saline solution a roadie got you, punctuating the word with a squeeze to the cotton to remove excess liquid. “I was worried sick about you. What if he… had a knife or something? You could’ve got seriously injured. Or killed.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly able to have a good fight,” after wincing from the contact of the cold wet cotton with his dried blood, he purses his lips in a forced, shy smile, trying to light up the mood. He notices your hands are still shaking from the adrenaline, and takes one of them in his bigger ones, trying to calm you down. The fact that he did this for you, coupled with the fear and how tired you felt of having to go through that kind of situation once again, made you cry-laugh from how overwhelmed you felt.

His expression changes to one of pure compassion in an instant. “Hey, don’t--oh my,” he gets up from his chair to embrace you as you pour your frustrations through fat tears running down his shoulder.

“It’s so exhausting,” you mumble, through sobs. “Now I’m putting you in danger too. I feel like I did and I’m still doing everything wrong. I should be the one giving you a shoulder to cry on.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong! Anything at all, I promise you,” he says, tenderly, running his hands through your hair, still holding you tight. “It was his fault! I decided it was the right thing to do. You’re worth the risk. What people have been putting you through is unacceptable.”

“I’m not worth the risk!” You break apart from his arms, trying to get your point across. “What would I do without you if someone killed you? You need to be more careful!”

The silence hangs heavy between you two thanks to the weight of your words.

“You should’ve asked me before you lunged at him, at least. I don’t know.” You wipe your many tears as you move towards the nearest bottle of water to try to calm yourself down. “It’ll never end. I’m so afraid that these situations will get even worse. That,” you motion at his wounds and dirty clothes, “is a bloody tragedy. It’s a tragedy things escalated to this point. You can’t do that forever.”

“This is just a consequence. And something I would do for you in a heartbeat whenever necessary.”

“Graham, I don’t want you to get hurt because--”

“They hurt you. I won’t let you go through that alone. Besides,” he comes closer to you again. “As I already told you, I can take care of myself, most of the time.” He takes your face in his hands, his fingers so delicately running across your cheeks to dry your tears. You knew that gesture wasn’t his way of asking you for anything you weren’t ready to give him yet. He just wanted you to feel safe. “And I want to take care of you.”

“I’m the one cleaning your wounds.”

“A great partnership, I think.” Coxon chuckles softly, and finally gets a smile out of you. As he always does. “And they make me look cool, don’t you think?”

“Shut up.” You giggle, still feeling too emotional to return to the stage. You sigh: “Thank you for being there for me. You know I’m still not very used to it. Just please be safe.”

The roadie returns, a little flustered by interrupting your little moment together. “5 minutes and you’re back, guys.”

“Okay!” You both turn to answer her.

“I’ll be. No need to thank me for anything, Y/N.” He answers, giving your forehead a little kiss. “Let’s go.”

“Give me two minutes. I’ll be right behind you.”

“What’s it like, being the only woman in the band?”

Four eyerolls at once don’t seem to faze the interviewer. She waits for your response.

Apparently the thousand invasive questions regarding Damon’s love life and the same bullshit treatment of women as either rare specimen or sex dolls is what pleases the audience of music TV shows these days.

“What do you think?” is what you say.

“Must be a thrill to have these beautiful boys around you all the time. And we’ve heard you never even took advantage of it!”

You don’t like where this is heading. “Is that… a bad thing? I don’t know what you mean.”

“Perhaps some of our lady viewers might think it is. No judgement though!” She raises her hands. “You do you, it’s just that it’s quite unexpected to see prudes in non-Christian bands. I mean… from what we’ve heard.”

“I’m sorry? What are you trying to say? What did you hear?”

Her tongue clicks while she stares at you with defiance and mischief on her eyes, as she goes a little further and raises her voice so it can overlay yours. “Oh love. You do know what I’m talking about. There’s no need to be ashamed of being a virgin.”

Your cheek burns intensely and the only thing you wished for was for the ground to swallow you whole. Dave and Graham are especially uncomfortable. Damon’s a bit amused. The three knew almost everything there was to know about you. The one topic that surprisingly they didn’t know about is that you’re still a virgin.

They know you’ve been single for a long time. They know that’s part of what draws so much attention and twisted lore regarding you and your past, but that’s not something they felt they needed to know about you at all, and you truly never felt the need to comment about that with any of them, and they haven’t asked. Not even Mr. “the way to be successful in this game is to make all the boys wanna be you and all the girls wanna sleep with you. In your case that’d work in reverse” Damon Albarn.

“Is that even something that should be discussed in an interview about our music? Is that what your boss told you to ask her about?” Dave answers, his tone venomous.

“Musicians are way more than just music. You’re entertainment in every sense of the word.”

“Who told you that about me?” You asked, not sure if you want to know the answer.

“A lovely elderly lady who lives in Elgin Crescent. She knows you so well.”

That’s your mum. That’s how far low your relationship has degraded. You’re not surprised. That doesn’t feel less like a punch on your gut, but you don’t feel like tumbling again. Not today.

“I know who you’re talking about. Tell her I asked her to go fuck herself and burn in hell. In that order.”

“But that’s your--”

“Yes, she is my mum!” If people are going to expose you anyway, then why don’t you do it on your terms? “We’re truly entertainment in every sense of the word, aren’t we. Not everyone’s mum’s a cunt. Some of us aren’t that lucky.”

“You want to be the next Gallagher sister with the spicy remarks?”

“Not sure. But I do want to be the last person you ever get to interview.”

The management of the band wasn’t at all surprised your interview became UK’s topic of the week. People were heavily divided between family is family and we shouldn’t hate our relatives and blood isn’t everything, family can be shitty too. Your bandmates were proud of you. The management was angry but tried to understand, and didn’t press you for further explanations. They suggested a two-week break from everything so Blur could rest their image and start a fresh cycle after that, and you gracefully accepted it.

The whole thing seemed so ridiculous the more you thought about it. Did your mum tell the reporter about that gratuitously? What was their conversation like? How did that even happen?

You became the butt of jokes in some places. You saw other famous people doing challenges between them, countdowns, all sorts of crude remarks. What a pathetic, sad chapter of your career.

You dial Graham, and you feel like your heart was about to burst out of your chest.

“Hey, Gra. It’s me.”

“Hey, Y/N.” He sounds pleasantly surprised. “How's it going?”

“Better, I guess. I have to take my mind off all that chaos though. Are you available right now?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been owing me a movie night for quite a while now and I miss spending time with you. Wanna come over?”

“Aww. Sure, I--um. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“I’m pretty sure I got everything we need here--ah… I think I don’t have any more beers.”

“I’ll buy some then. See ya in a few minutes.”

Actually, you couldn’t take all that chaos off your mind because that was the only thing in it. You’re feeling so nervous.

The main reasons sex wasn’t a priority for you until now were:

You didn’t have any real opportunities of losing your virginity in your teens. You were impossibly introspective until, like, 3, 4 years ago, and the way your family worked hasn’t really allowed you to get really close to people. Be it boyfriends, girlfriends or just friends. Anything that threatened to take time off the various tasks and classes your parents assigned to you just couldn’t be part of your life. To be honest, you still struggled a bit to form meaningful connections with people thanks to how you grew up.

The moment you stopped being shy, you noticed it was a real man’s world out there, especially in music, classical or not. You didn’t want anyone to think you fucked your way up to the top, you didn’t want any messy affairs. Also, you had yourself, and you didn’t get all of the hype regarding the concept of screwing someone. But apparently there’s a lot you’ve been missing, given the importance people seem to give to it. After that incident, even though you swore to yourself you wouldn’t give in to any kind of misogynistic pressure, that was one that really got under your skin.

You never really found someone who you felt 100% safe with in that sense until the one who’s about to arrive at your house appeared in your life. Bloody hell, and you don’t even have anything romantic going on. By the time you were a Blur member, you’ve fooled around a bit, but not all the way. You knew how to kiss, knew how to touch yourself and even brought manual satisfaction to some random fool you thought you were into one time. But perhaps this is the time to go all the way. Why not? Everyone knew how close you two were. He made you feel special. He was so kind. And gorgeous. And--

You hear a knock on your door. It’s him. Beers in hand, hair somewhat in place, twitchy as ever.

He comes inside and you feel like your legs will give up anytime. It was not the first time he visited you. It was one of many, actually, and he noticed you were acting… different.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks after a brief dialogue between you two, after plating some snacks for both of you.

“Graham...” You sigh, being really careful with your words. “What is your perception of me?”

“My perception of you?” He smiles. “I… think you’re great. You’re fun to be around. You’re one of the best musicians I know, if not the best. Why are you asking me that?”

“N-nothing. It’s nothing. Also, I asked the wrong question. What was your first perception of me?”

“Uh… the day of your audition?”

“Exactly. You barely talked to me that day.”

His eyes lower to his own feet. “I was really timid, actually. I wasn’t used to being near any girl, especially one who… w-would spend so much time around me if everything went well.”

You giggle. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never!” his smile turns into a full blown laughter. You melt at his confession. “Also because it seemed like you were trying to read my mind or something.”

“Of course! Because I thought you hated me!” Now that was a laughter you two shared. You do a voice: “‘Why is that pesky girl trying to get in my band?’”

“My goodness, no! I don’t even sound like that - you know what, I changed my mind. You suck. Because, besides the fact you don’t even know what I sound like, you still haven’t told me why you are asking me that in the first place.”

You couldn’t help but notice how he slightly cornered you physically in one of the kitchen corridors. Graham could be really persuasive when he wanted to.

“Okay. Right. Um. I’ve been thinking about some stuff.”

“What, exactly?”

“Everything that happened this month. The great virginity debacle,” you roll your eyes, and he scoffs.

“You don’t own anyone any information about what you do or don't do with your life. Everyone’s being so invasive. That was incredibly childish of the reporter to do, and we talked about that hundreds of times.”

“Yeah, but… you know what, forget it.”

“Tell me, Y/N. I just said that because I want you to know you were not in the wrong.”

“I know. It’s just… I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s silly for me to… keep closing myself for affection. Any kind of affection.”

“What are you talking about?” His brows furrowed in curiosity.

“I’m not sure if it’s the pressure that finally got under my skin, but… I’m willing to learn what all the fuss is about. Maybe it’s silly that I’m still a virgin.”

He bites his lips, still processing what you just said, expression unreadable. Perhaps you’ve treaded a ground you shouldn’t. You step back both literally and figuratively. “I’m sorry I even brought that up--”

“No, no, don’t be.” He assures you. “I’m just… surprised, that’s all. I swear.”

“And...” You know what. You already went too far, so why not go all the way. You’ve already gone way past the point of no return. “I was wondering if… you would… popmycherry?”

His eyes widen, yours still closed. When you finally open them, he’s closer to you again.

If his head was a machine, you’re sure it would be releasing lots of steam and shaking due to overprocessing. You felt like you just ruined everything.

“Y/N, you don’t need to do it if you don’t really want to.”

“But I want it! At first I thought I didn’t, but then I thought...”

“I don’t want to be part of that if you’re just doing it to fulfill weird expectations.”

“But it’s not that. Not just... that. I asked about your perception of me because I really like you, Gra. I think we should be more than friends and I wanted to know what you think about me. And I want to know what the fuss is about, yes, but I’m not telling you that just so I can lose my virginity to prove some point. I’m telling you that because I like you, I want to kiss you, and I think it would be a great idea if you showed me what it’s like. Y-you know, sex.”

“I-I can’t believe it. Did you even have any movie in mind?” His smile’s back, but you’re still not confident about what his answer will be.

“I didn’t. I’m sorry. You don’t have to--”

He sighs. “I was in love with you the moment I first saw you, actually.” He says it like he’s releasing a huge load out of his back, his arms crossed. Now your eyes widen, and you hold your breath without even noticing. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I know how you feel, or, felt about relationships, so… there wasn’t any reason for me to tell you that. And what I said about being timid was just half of the truth.”

“Huh?”

“I also was really intimidated by how pretty you looked. You can’t imagine how.”

“No way.”

“It’s true. I felt like I wasn’t even worthy of looking at you, really.”

“You’re joking. That’s mean, Gra.”

“I’m not. I’m really not.” He doesn’t look like he is joking. He looks relieved. “I’m really not. That’s why I’m so surprised by your request.”

“I’m nothing special.”

“You are everything to me. But I can’t accept your offer, not now.”

“Are you… seeing someone? Am I too late?”

“No. Definitely not. I just want you to be sure you’re not doing it because people are saying you should.”

“Graham, I’m a grown woman.”

“I know.”

Graham carefully presses his slightly chapped lips to yours, kissing you for a few precious, heart stopping seconds before pulling away; his voice is impossibly silky when he suggests, “Let’s watch a movie. How about The Godfather? I heard it’s airing tonight. Then, if in two weeks you don’t change your mind, tell me and I’ll be glad to help you with what you want. Do we have a deal?”

“That’s so unfair. I want you so bad.” You whisper.

“Tell me if you still do in two weeks.”

You sigh, defeated. “...Deal.”

You definitely notice the subtle shift in Graham’s personality and actions after that fateful night. If you were already close, both figuratively and literally, it now seemed like he would use any excuse to always touch you, be near you, sometimes tease you. The shift was subtle, though, don’t forget it’s still Graham Coxon we’re talking about - the constant “is it okay if”s or “is it alright if I”s were still there, as careful as ever. You don’t even talk about your deal that entire time, or even kiss again - sometimes you wondered if it was even real or just a fabrication of your mind.

The way he now caressed your hand discreetly when you listened to Damon’s ramblings, the way his hands now went directly to your waist when your games became too handsy, the way he seemed to be madly in love with everything you were and still are from the start - made you realize you were ready for this man to be a consistent part of your life.

The dust of the controversy was settled, and your own intentions were 100% clear to you now. The societal pressure has waned. The need for Graham to be your first persisted. After exactly 2 weeks have passed, you call him again, yearning to share the answer with him.

One beep.

Two beeps.

Three beeps.

Four beeps. “Hello?”

You release a sigh hidden deep inside of your lungs. “Graham, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh. It’s been two weeks.” You could hear the contemplative tone of his voice.

“...Yeah. That’s precisely the reason I’m calling you.”

“Do you still want to…?”

“...Desperately.”

“Ok.” He chuckles, flustered as hell on the other side of the phone, probably one of the prettiest sounds you’ve ever heard. “Right. Ok. Your place or mine?”

“I think there’ll be an element of mystery if I go to your place this time.” You lose some of the constraints this silly shyness has been tying you on. “Do you have everything we might need there?”

“We don’t need a dungeon, you know.”

“The basics.” You make your smile heard.

“I do have… I do have the basics.”

“See you in a few minutes then.”

“Will you want to… ease into it? Or just go straight to it?”

“God, don’t make it awkward!” Your cheeks burn, your smile turning into contagious laughter. “Maybe… I don’t know. Ease into it, I guess? A movie night… but with s-something else?”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

“Alright then. See you.”

“See you.”

You don’t choose any particularly fancy or sexy clothes, instead settling for a slightly oversized yellow striped shirt he gave you as a birthday present some months ago and some skirt that fit you well. He wasn’t one to lavish his loved ones with gifts all the time, but few things were as precious as the look on his face whenever he saw you wearing something he gave you or, hell, even eating something he paid for you. You’re thrilled to see it again when he opens the door for you, it easing some of your deepest doubts.

2001: A Space Odyssey is already playing on the TV when you arrive. Despite it being one of your favorite movies of all time, and his, you’re not mad it was already halfway through when you arrived. It wasn’t your main priority to rewatch it for the 17th time tonight.

He offers you some wine, which you accept to ease the nerves. You sit on his couch, and he shares the cozy space with you, now mindlessly throwing one of his arms around your shoulders. You cuddle up to him, and everything seems peaceful in the world for a while.

The tip of his fingers softly caress your lifted knee, absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but notice how well his body fits with yours, how your skin was apparently made for him to touch, and the anxiety rumbles in your stomach like a storm in a wild wavy sea. After some minutes, you raise your head, his big brown eyes meeting yours as if asking you a silent question. You leaned up a bit more to press your lips to his, in a silent answer. The sweetness in him makes this moment as precious as every other moment you ever shared with him. His hands enter your hair, making you shiver a bit from the unfamiliarity and the electricity of it all - but it doesn’t sway you from deepening the kiss, wanting more of his taste, more of this, more of him.

“Do you wanna take this to the bed?” He whispers, after noticing your moans were becoming more frequent and needy. You nod, and you are taken by surprise when he carries you bridal style to it, hiding your excited giggles in his broad shoulders.

Graham wasn’t exactly the most organized man in the world - so the fact that his bedroom was now impossibly tidy was something that positively caught your attention. He put some planning into this. He lays you down and you part your legs, beckoning him to meet you between them. He does, and you go back to the breathtaking makeout session. You notice he’s holding himself back a bit, taking his time, his warm tongue moving smoothly, not hurriedly, against yours. His self control falters a bit though, given how he can’t stop grinding against you. You follow the rhythm of his hips a bit timidly and not nearly as in sync as you’d really like, though the pressure his covered cock is creating against your core can already be felt and some particular thrusts are able to fill at least partially the aching, wet need growing within you.

“How do you feel about oral?” He asks, breath warm near your ear, his voice raspy and spent by his desire for you.

“Um… It would be my first time receiving or doing it.”

“Would you like me to go down on you?”

“Wow. I never thought I would hear you saying something like that.” You smile, still assimilating the situation you’re in, trying not to show how badly his voice is affecting you. “Sure.”

“I never thought I would get to propose this to you. Aren’t we full of surprises lately.” He smiles back, warmly. He notices your hands trembling a bit from how anxious you are while you’re taking off your underwear with his help, and as he lowers himself to where you need him most, he takes your hands in his as an act of reassurance. “Tell me what you like. Tell me if what I’m doing works for you. I want this to be a great experience.”

“You want me to get addicted to you, that’s what you want,” He chuckles, lovingly kissing your thigh as a reply. “Okay, Gra. Guess I’ll find out along the way.”

You quickly take a peak below you to see the lower half of his face disappear in the middle of your thighs. The sight alone sets your fire ablaze, as he hooks his arms around your thighs and lifts you closer to his mouth, his lips ghosting over the curls between your legs tantalizingly and his breath catching when your hips jerk forward.

As he begins his ministrations, you immediately notice it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt. That feeling was completely alien to you. It was even wetter than you expected, and weird, but powerfully pleasant. Before this exact moment, you had a firm belief that hardly anyone else would make you feel the same way, or better, than you do yourself, but apparently you were very wrong. Thankfully you were wrong. “My god,” you gasp as the flat of his tongue drags over your folds, too much and not enough, and you jerk at the contact. “This is great. So weird, but-- great.”

He moans at your response, his movements carefully enthusiastic. He works his tongue between your folds and traces up to curl the tip of it around your clit, and it’s quite endearing and madly arousing to see how he eats out you like you’re the sweetest and tastier dessert he has ever tasted. You involuntarily buck against him with a desperate sound the moment he moves his tongue and lips in a particularly wicked way, something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by him, but you still feel the need to highlight in case it didn’t - “That. Keep doing that, please,”

And he does. The building of this climax is also different than the ones you already had by your own hands, and is more coy. As he sees the drops of sweat sliding along your soft skin and the expressions on your face as you get lost in this new but enchanting sensations, his hesitation and self-control fades away; there’s nothing uncertain in the way he buries his face in your cunt now, nothing restrained in the groan he lets out as he devours you and drinks you down as if you’re the first stream of water he has seen in days.

His tongue glides deeper in your folds again and again, swirling up through the wetness you’re coated with to tease at your clit while he grunts and strains closer, squeezing your thighs with both hands tight. The wave of heat inside of you is cresting so fast, you don't even know how to tell him, how to signal that you’re nearly done for and, in the end, it happens too fast to even try. He sucks at your clit, circling it with his tongue, once, twice, and then you’re crying out, shaking underneath him, trying to keep your thighs from clenching too hard around his head as he laps you through it with with urgent whimpers and moans, as if he cannot have enough of you.

You’re still trembling when he rises, the look on his face revealing to you how proud he feels by making you feel this way. It looks so good on him.

You fail miserably at the simple task of connecting words together after that, choosing instead to collect your remaining strength, prop yourself up and beckon him again to keep kissing him and learn, through his talented tongue, how you taste. He kisses the thin fabric of the shirt at your chest that covers you from view, your throat, your jaw, and before he reaches your impatient lips, he notes, sinfully, “Seems like you enjoyed yourself, love.”

“That was… unbelievable. Stars, I want to make you feel good too. Please show me how.”

“Keep kissing me,” he begs, voice still strained from how aroused he is. “I want to be inside you so bad. Let’s get you prepared.” You’re still so sensitive, you tread on overstimulation when his fingers lightly touch your clit, making you break the kiss in a hiss. He traces a line on your folds, inspecting the impact his mouth had on you. “So wet for me.”

“Bit slower, Gra,” He complies to your breathy plea, his fingers now more tame as he slowly spreads your wetness throughout your pussy. He stretches towards the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube, interrupting his contact to spread some on his fingers before unhurriedly slipping his middle finger inside of you. The coldness of the gel makes you shiver in surprise, the easiness brought by it very welcomed. Again - the sensation is odd. Completely unfamiliar. The feeling of having something inside of you for the first time, going further than you ever dared to try, probing, exploring; the coldness of the lube clashing against your burning hot cunt. But it also felt nice. The focused look on his face was adorable, he looked like he was a scientist in the middle of very complex research.

Despite the panting, the messy hair and the fire in his eyes.

Your body already has a lot of new sensations to process simultaneously, so when he asks you to take off your bra and shirt so his tongue can work on your nipples - which you gladly accept, you feel like you’re on sensual overload. His tongue, again, so talented, takes your mind off the slight burning you feel when he introduces his ring finger to your soaked, throbbing core, his focused, carefully overpowering and constant stimulation driving you insane.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, voice muffled by your breast. You nod, carried by the wave of pleasure sweeping you.

“Yes. God, yes.” You pant, tangling your fingers tightly on his thick hair as an encouragement, a desperate sound escaping from your lips the moment he reaches a certain point within you you didn’t even know existed, hot mouth continuing to lick and suck your nipple. Even though you were spent by your last orgasm, he was indeed getting you addicted to those new feelings, and even though this was heavenly, truly heavenly, you needed more. “Gra, I’m ready, I think.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Please.”

Releasing your nipple from his lips with a sounding pop, he eagerly frees himself from his trousers - hard as a brick - and puts protection and lubrication on, swiftly positioning himself between your thighs while stroking himself to the sight in front of him. You motion to take off your skirt, and he holds your hand, not letting you. “Don’t. It’ll be really hot to fuck you in this.” He confesses, giving your forehead a kiss in a very different context than before. He aligns his forehead with yours, each of your lips just barely touching while you breathe each other’s air. He looks deep into your eyes, slowly running the tip of his cock between the slick folds of your pussy, coating himself in the remnants of your pleasure. “Do you trust me?”

You trust me to know your limits? Not to go any further if you don’t really want me to?

“Absolutely.”

The only response you get from him is a shuddering, helpless moan into your mouth and you hold him tighter to you, grinding your still sensitive cunt up against his cock while he pulls hard at the soft fur next to your head. You feel your soaking pussy lips part around the solid curve of his length and gradually coat the underside of him in slick with every gentle circle and roll your hips make, as he finally pulls away from your mouth to drop his forehead to your neck. He then, very slowly, penetrates you, stopping when he hears the noises you make indicating you’re struggling to adjust to his presence. Out of everything you’ve felt in the last minutes, this was by far the most painful sensation. “This-- is new,” you note, your face completely incapable of hiding the discomfort. He also notices that.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

“It’s okay. I’ll get used to it.”

“It’s not supposed to be about endurance, you know.” He says, a bit breathless and worried, caressing your hair. “Tell me when it’s okay to move. Or if you feel too much pain.”

After some long seconds and some deep breaths, you say: “Okay. Go on.”

“As you wish.”

He moves inside you at a very slow pace, the lubrication clearly making it easier for you to handle it. It still hurts, significantly, but the sensation of being filled is also surprisingly arousing.

His hand moves to your sensitive clit again in small, measured circles, your little moans being a mixture of the pain of penetration and the sheer ecstasy of seeing him falling apart because of you. The way his chest heaves while the drops of sweat start pearling his fair skin, the furrowed brows and broken groans, the thickness of him as he rests heavy up against your entrance, the way his voice presses deliciously tight in his throat as he gasps out into the quiet room - everything’s making your chest burst in love and satisfaction. You tighten your grip around him and roll your hips up into his cock, letting it break you open nice and slow; it stretches you wide with a deliciously sharp fullness and pleasure rips through you, and Graham becomes even more vocal as he picks up a steady and gradually faster pace. He turned all of your keys, it’s about time you turn some of his.

“Graham, deeper,” you whimper, continuing to tighten your legs and hoist yourself up, lifting your hips to take his cock deeper inside you. His name rips itself from your throat while Coxon clenches his jaw and starts to lose himself in the pleasure, holding you down into the bed while he allows your desperation to guide him to the perfect angle and speed to sate you. He found denying you to be impossible.

He snarls and curses as he holds you down and rails you, determined to make you sing again before he finishes, and to his delight, your heightened sensitivity gives him what he wants. And this time, he couldn't hold on.

Graham kisses you one last time as he groans and gives in, head dropping to your neck again. You didn’t reach a second climax, but stars, what an experience you just had.

When he comes back to himself enough to realise he still had you practically folded in half, he carefully pulls his softening cock free, taking the condom off and taking the strands of hair out of your face as you struggle to catch your breath. You suggest a shared bath, a suggestion he gladly accepts.

Too tired and too sore for pillow talk, comfortable silence falls as your hand finds his, and you lay, listening to each other’s breathing slowly settle.

I could get used to his little snore on my chest, is the last thought that twinkles on your mind before you fall asleep snuggled with him.

#graham coxon #alex james #damon albarn #dave rowntree #blur #britpop #smut #imagine #reader insert #graham coxon x reader #graham x reader #y/n #fluff #au #fanfiction #blur band

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contrispos · 3 years

Text

Episode 9 - Bounty Lost

[Star Wars: The Bad Batch]

Dave, I will murder you. But like not right now cause I can’t breathe after this episode.

—

DAMN TECH CAN FLY

Crosshair’s scars are gonna be really nasty, I kinda don’t even want to see them after they heal.

Hunter can you worry about your own life please? At least he got the goddamn blaster wound bandaged.

I never thought I would be this excited about Cad Bane yet here we are

Omega really is a little shit, but in a good way

CAD BANE’S MUSIC I CAN’T

STOP TELLING HER THEY ARE GONE, SHE IS A CHILD

But like Cad steps into the scene and just like that it’s a western and I love that he radiates such strong energy

I fucking love Todo

STOP CALLING HER CLONE

NALA SE IS THE ONLY RESPECTABLE GIRAFFE IN HERE RIGHT NOW

EXCUSE ME BITCH????? TERMINATE HER?????

Oh Omega, You sneaky little shit. I know what you’re gonna do

Hunter walks like a fucking gym dude, he has his shoulders all poofed up

Awswwwww RICKA

Omg

Wait

DO WE GET TO KNOW WHY SHE IS SO GODDAMN IMPORTANT

WHAT

SHE IS A FEMALE BOBA??????

HOLY FUCK

OMEGA I LOVE YOU

Todo and Omega are my new favourite duo send tweet

OMEGA YOU LITTLE SHIT I LOVE YOU

Did I mention I love Cad’s boots?

Okay maybe Todo and Cad get the best duo, I dunno

WRECKERS EXPRESSION WHEN HE HEARD OMEGAS VOICE

HUNTERS TOO

HUNTER SHE NEEDS YOU

Why do I love Cad Bane so much all of a sudden?

OKAY NEVERMIND HE THREW MY CHILD AT A WALL

but like,,,,,,,,I kinda like him??

he is mr. confident

also: FUCKING FENNEC??? SHE IS BACK

HOW DOES CAD BANE MAKE AN ABANDONED KAMINOAN FACILITY INTO A FUCKING WESTERN I DONT UNDERSTAND

oh no, cad’s beloved credits!!!

RUN OMEGA

okay I will shut up about Cad Bane but how do I fucking love him now when I absolutely could NOT stand him in TCW

is he ded

it must be hella hard to run with those handcuffs

is that some sort of distant cousin to snoke?

YES GO SAVE YOUR DAUGHTER

Bane’s hat looks really sad when it’s on the floor like that

OKAY THAT IS DEFINITELY SOME SISTANT COUSIN OF SNOKE

that shit fugly

EWEWEWEEEWWWW

THAT IS DISGUSTING

I LOVE WHEN HE SAYS LITTLE LADY

U A GENTLEMAN

hold up

cad bane without blasters? interesting

the lesbian goddess vs. the blue twink: who will win?

I swear Omega just gets cuter by the second

OH NO IS MY CHILD LIMPING?????

I love her

I am in love

HOLY SHIT IS HE GONNA DIE

no okay nevermind

I TOLD YOU HIS BOOTS ARE AMAZING

Cad Bane without a hat? Interesting

no the pod is failing

shit

stop

shit shit shit

THAT IS A SHIP IF I’VE EVER SEEN IT

BADBATCH BADBATCH BADBATCH BADBATCH

PLEASE BE THE BATCH I AM BEGGING YOU

YES

WRECKER

RICKA

YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS

AAAAAAAHHHHH

I CANT

STOP BUT LIKE DONT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SHE GOT A HUG

THAT WAS A HUG

I WANT A HUG TOO

I want Tech to hug her

HUH

GASP

SHE IS CRYING

HUNTER FUCKING HUG HER GODDAMNIT

STOP CRYING

HUNTER BE A GOOD FUCKING DAD AND HUG HER

BE LIKE CUT

Yes mom that is true

Bane is coming

BANE IS COMING

MAKE THE JUMP TECH GODDAMNIT

What

how is the ship not working???

was is fennec?

IT WAS FENNEC

why tho?

okay THAT is Nala Se

OMG

YES NALA SE I KNEW I COULD TRUST YOU

KEEP HER AWAY FROM LAMA SU PLEASE AND THANK YOU

wait

is fennec’s job to not get Omega?

WRECKERS TIRED SOUND

AHHHH

WHO IS SNORING???

TECH????

I AM DEAD

TECH IS A SNORER

tech is a snorer…

TECH IS SO FUCKING CUTE WHEN HE IS SLEEPING I ACTUALLY CANT HANDLE IT

OMEGAS LITTLE SMILE AS SHE PASSES HIM

I COULD DIE RIGHT NOW AND I WOULD NOT BE MAD CAUSE I WAS BLESSED BY TECHS BEAUTY

i will shut up about tech now

im sorry

one question: where the hell is echo?

*CUE A SCREECH WHICH CANNOT POSSIBLY BE INTERPRETED INTO TEXT*

HUNTER YOUR DAD IS FULLY SHOWING RIGHT NOW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THE ONLY THING MISSING IS A FUCKING HUG

alright Dave I thank you for this slightly less angsty episode, see ya next week when I will probably have to sue you again

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duckymcdoorknob · 3 years

Note

HELLO HOW DID I NOT REALIZE WE COULD BE SMTH LIKE MUSICAL MUTUALS I'M SO DUMB I NEVER REALLY CHECKED YOUR FANDOM LIST- hi ehe would you do tkl hcs for jack and spot from newsies? (platonic or not idc) no worries if not hope u have a good time rn 💛

100% doing movie Spot and Jack

Is this biased bc I find movie Spot enamoring? Maybe

BUT we don’t see a lot of Spot in the stage

Soooooo

who has the cutest tickle laugh?

SPOT SPOT SPOT SPOT

PLSSS HES JUST-

He starts with heavy breathing, then snickers and then just giggles

Jack knows exactly where to go to get him to just giggle (spoiler alert it’s his ears)

what are their tickle spots?

From least to most ->

Spot: Ears, Neck, Stomach, KNEES

Jack: Palms, Calves, Ribs, SIDES.

who is ticklish in unusual places and where would that be?

Imma give it to good ol’ Jackie boy.

Jack is ticklish on his palms, biceps, calves etc.

Spot has his fair share: ears and tops of his feet.

But jack just wins with the unusual spots.

who gets cheer-up tickles?

This one is a toughie.

I’m gonna go wiiiiiith-

Jack.

Jack really only sees Spot when he needs dire assistance.

So naturally, Spot knows something is going to be very wrong.

He lets Jack vent and eventually just gives his sides a tweak to get him to smile.

“C’mon Jackie boy, you’s can’t be all mopey like ‘dat and not ‘spect this!”

do either of them try to hide their ticklishness?

Yes

And it’s both

And it’s 100% reputation based.

Jack has a reputation to uphold amongst his boys.

Their fearless leader is not able to get taken down by such a measly, childish thing.

Except he is

Spot also has to uphold his reputation amongst the Brooklyn Newsies.

Spot fears no god, nor no man.

god complex boy cannot be weak to something like tickles, no sir.

Except if you squeeze his knee he’s a goner

who takes advantage of the other one getting their arms stuck while taking off their shirt?

Oh Jack 100%

He’s so mean to Spot

So mean

how did they discover each other’s ticklishness?

This one was tricky too

I’d say...

Jack -> Spot: Jack found out when he was hoisting spot up as a lookout during the rally. He dug into bb’s stomach a liiiittle too hard then-

Spot -> Jack: Spot found out when Jack visited him with Specs and Davey! To get Jack to cool down, Davey gave him a few pinches to the sides. This awoke something in Spot right away. Great job Dave you created a monster.

who can’t take tickle bites/raspberries?

SPOT

Bb is so ticklish on his stomach that just a single raspberry just floors him

Height difference = comparative advantage for Jack. He just hoists Spot by the hips, pulls him up to face level and goes for it.

who has to be tickle-forced out of bed in the morning?

In general, I’d say Jack.

He just does not give me morning person vibes whatsoever.

Spot has to resort to drastic measures more often than not.

who initiates tickle fights?

Jaaaaacky boy for sure.

He is a firm believer of winning the game called “How much can I piss off Spot Conlon before he retaliates?”

Who gives up in tickle fights?

Neither!!!!!! They are both fearless leaders who cannot be taken down by such a childish weakness!!

It’s Jack

Spot always has pent up rage from Jack’s initiation that he just gets a boost

who is in danger of getting hurt when attacking the other?

Jack 10000%

Jack himself is very careful not to injure the poor kid. So he like glues his limbs to the floor.

Spot on the other hand does not give any shits and just w r i t h e s

who always provokes the other into tickling them and how?

See “Who initiates tickle fights”

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thewebcomicsreview · 3 years

Photo

Homestuck 2 has updated! Christmas is ruined!

Previously, on Homestuck 2: Literally nothing happened, and a non-trivial portion of the patreon supporters gave up and quit. Can this update pull a Christmas miracle and right the sinking ship of Homestuck 2? Probably not, but let’s find out!

youtube

We’re back in Candyland, having completely skipped over Karkat and John talking about Dave’s apparent death, because this comic is only interested in long conversations when they’re boring and not about anything at all. That’s alright, I got the gist of it.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

So, it appears to be morning now, meaning that John’s son has been missing in a war zone for almost 24 hours and I guess John literally forgot Harry existed?

Prediction: This conversation is going to end in some variant of “Where is our son?” “Oh shit!”

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid

ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid

ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

What.

So, I went back and checked, and apparently nowhere is it explicitly said that Harry Anderson was also looking for the Vriskas, so I guess he....stayed home? Which makes sense, I suppose, but maybe a “Stay here I’ll go look for them” would’ve helped. I wasn’t the only one who thought Harry was out looking for Vriska too.

ROXY: sup

ROXY: follow me

ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way

JOHN: haha ok.

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

Is Roxy....horny? Is the solid she’s looking for John’s dick? I mean, that’d make her saying Harry wasn’t available kind of weird, but I think this framing is a fake-out.

...

What the fuck is that lamp, Jesus Christ it’s awful. Just a cat’s asshole, facing the door.

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert

JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding.

JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

Oh hey, it was a fakeout. Good job, Homestuck 2. You successfully implied something just through the art. Art which, by the way, looks a lot better than the last chapter. There are backgrounds and everything. I wonder if Chapter 15 was rushed out due to Hiveswap and that’s why it was so weak?

He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

I’m not the biggest fan of the way the narration is going JOHN IS AFRAID OF SEX WITH ROXY LIKE HE’S A TEENAGE VIRGIN AGAIN (LIKE IN HS1!) AND IT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IT’LL BE IMPORTANT LATER, but okay, noted.

ROXY: u said ur house is gone??

JOHN: yep.

JOHN: completely.

ROXY: jeez

Heh. I like Roxy, still.

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

If this comic actually uses the phrase “home” and “stuck” in the same sentence I’m turning this blog around and we’ll go right back to Winnipeg.

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

I feel unqualified to talk about how hard Roxy is pushing the June Egbert thing.

....Is that the fucking portal from Hiveswap under a tarp? Also hi Candy Callie, appearing in HS2 for the first time. One of the Calliope’s is nonbinary, I think, but I honestly can’t remember and I think it’s Meat Calliope?

JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is?

ROXY: hmmmmmm no

JOHN: oh ok.

JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room.

JOHN: space.

JOHN: wherever we are.

ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now

ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi

ROXY: and by that i mean

ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn

JOHN: right, sorry.

JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain.

ROXY: u catch on fast egbert

Oh thing HS2 has not been great at is that it has a lot of plot mysteries that are supposed to keep us enticed but they don’t really get implanted into the audience’s head (Remember Vrissy mysteriously collapsing that one time? Probably not, she did it off screen and the boys kind of laughed it off). This one’s hard to miss.

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs?

JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done.

ROXY: well no not x actly

ROXY: were in the old meteor

It’s kind of weird how this meteor keeps popping up like this.

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

This is an unexpected but not unwelcome direction for Callie to have gone.

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes?

Oh, wow, we’re going right there, then. This does seem like a bit of a reaction to complaints HS2 wasn’t shmoovin’ enough, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole.

JOHN: ok.

A’ight, that got a laugh out of me

JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it!

JOHN: i'm so sorry.

JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ):

I like this conversation a lot.

ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you

JOHN: listen.

JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given.

Quite a bit, in fact.

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

Roxy and John have a good dynamic.

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

JOHN: ...right.

John’s phone has very good coverage, since he was able to talk to Terezi in the epilogues, as we’re being subtly reminded of here with that ... before the “right”. I wonder if it still works after alt-Calliope left.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

Okay, so we are now being explicitly told that living in the black hole is fucking with the characters and is part of the reason they make such baffling decisions, like Rose not telling Kanaya about Yiffy, or naming her daughter “Yiffy” in the first place.

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

So, the plan is literally for Vriska to be such a Huge 8itch that the black hole itself gets sick of her and yeets Earth C out of its own event horizon to freedom.

This is actually a great plan.

And that’s Hamsteak. This definitely feels like a bit of a reaction to complaints about HS2, but hey, I dig it, I guess? Definite improvement over the last chapter.

#homestuck #homestuck 2 liveblog

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we-are-inevitable · 3 years

Text

until forever // javid

Until Forever

some things about this fic: -davey being salty about his grades -Oblivious Jack !!! -drunk confessionsssss -jack splurges on good tequila and you Cannot tell me otherwise -they’re in university so, like, it’s automatically good

i hope u guys like this oneee !!

The front door opens to reveal a frazzled David Jacobs with a single black coffee, one bag of groceries, and an overstuffed satchel crossed over his torso.

The groceries are the first to drop to the floor. Jack knows that nothing in the bag is damaged; if something inside was fragile, then David surely would have brought the bag to the apartment’s small kitchen rather than discarding it onto the floor. As he watches the taller man set his coffee on the small table next to the front door, Jack can’t help but smile.

“Rough day, Davey?”

“You. Have. No. Idea,” David crosses the room and inelegantly drops his school bag into the chair against the wall, heading straight for the kitchen. “I’m convinced that Professor Snyder is incompetent. There is no fucking way I got less than a 90 on my midterm report, Jack, there’s no way! But no! Apparently he gave me a goddamn 86 on the paper--”

“I’m sorry, but is there somethin’ wrong with an 86? Seems pretty good to me,” Jack says as he stands up off of the couch, following David to the kitchen. “Don’t stress about it. You have, like, two months until the end of the semester, you’re gonna bring your grade up.”

“Oh, no, I have a high A in the class,” David says nonchalantly as he reaches up to grab a bottle from on top of the fridge-- tequila. Oh. David is in one of those moods. “It’s just-- He has the audacity to give me an 86, yet he gives Morris fucking Delancey a 98? There’s no way his paper was better than mine! I just--”

“Davey, I love ya, man, and I feel for ya, but if you get any more pissed you’re gonna break the bottle and you’re gonna owe me, like, $40. That’s my good tequila.”

“Get the shot glasses, Kelly.”

“On it.”

Jack has a painting he could have been doing. Not classwork, he was pretty much caught up with everything so far, but he has a commission that needs to be sent off by the end of the next week and he's still in the sketching phase. But, really, what's the point of working on a commission when he can get drunk with his best friend instead?

After all of these years, it is still weird to call David a ‘friend.’ They had met in the 8th grade, when Jack was adopted by Medda, who happened to teach drama at the school David attended. On the first day, David had told Jack to "shut the hell up" in their science class, and the two had been inseparable ever since. They had been 13 when they met.

Now, they're both nearing 23, living in an apartment together, both in their last year of college.

And Jack still hasn’t told David that he is completely, totally, irrevocably in love with him.

Jack brings the shot glasses to the living room, while David brings the bottle and a container of orange juice to chase it. They both sit on the couch for the next thirty minutes, ranting about their days and the horrible people they've dealt with in town or at work or in class or wherever they had over the course of that week.

Thirty minutes turn into an hour, and an hour turns into two. By that time, the sun is setting, casting a glow straight into the window of the apartment. Jack tilts his head and looks over at David with a chuckle at something he had said, but all laughter was lost as he caught David’s gaze.

God, those blue eyes make him weak. And with the way that the light was directly on them… Jack can’t take the silence.

He turns his body to face David, leaning his head against the back of the couch as his arms cross over his torso. “You ever been in love, Davey?” He asks with that signature Kelly grin. There’s no doubt in his mind that he looks like an idiot. Big smile, scrunched-up nose, squinty eyes- he had been told by plenty of girls that that look was 'something out of a romcom,' and he had never wanted that to be truer than right now.

The question seems to sober David up a little bit. He gulps and glances away, cheeks flushed- though Jack can’t tell if he’s blushing, or if it’s the alcohol. “I-... Jackie, c’mon. You’ve known me for ten years, you would know--”

“Ah, ah, ah, I think you have a bunch of shit you ain’t tellin’ me,” Jack says with a smirk, though his eyes soften up a bit. All he wants is for David to say yes. If David tells him, then Jack will be able to move on. If David is in love with someone else, then Jack can finally muster up the courage to finally stop telling himself he has a chance. “What about that boy you was with last year? What was his name? Lance?”

“Luke,” David corrects him with a grimace, “And no. I didn’t love him. I… I figured out a few months into it that I… loved someone else,” He admits with a shrug, then scratches the back of his neck. “...Love. Present tense. I love someone else.”

What a kick in the teeth.

Jack sits up a little straighter, then raises a brow. “Damn, you must’a had feelings for this fella for a while. It’s been, what, near a year since you and Luke broke it off?”

“I’ve liked this guy way longer than I’ve even known Luke,” David says simply, shooting Jack a smile that made his stomach flip.

“What’s he like?”

“Well,” David thinks for a moment, then grins. “He’s really sweet. Stupid, but in a good way,” He chuckles, and Jack can’t help but let out a little laugh as well. “He’s been through a lot, but he’s the most caring guy I’ve ever met. He’d give the shirt off his back for any one of his friends, and trust me, he has a lot.”

“Lots’a friends? Is he a frat guy?”

“Oh, hell no. Far from it. He’s just… really charismatic. He’s… He’s great,” David says with a melancholy grin, avoiding Jack’s gaze as he takes a slow sip of tequila straight from the bottle.

Something about the way that David is acting has Jack on edge. He seems so close to saying something, but Jack has no idea what it is, and, against his better judgment, Jack presses on. “Tell me more. Does he go here?”

“Mhm. He’s an art student,” David admits nonchalantly, and Jack’s heart feels like it rips in two. An art student… No. There’s no way David is talking about him, but the fact that he’s into another art student who isn’t Jack makes him regret ever asking in the first place. “He’s good, too. Really good. Seriously, Jack, his art... It’s the best I've ever seen. He likes music, too, and he’s a great singer, even though he doesn’t think so. He’s a horrible driver, but he can navigate the subway system in his sleep. He’s a pretty good--...”

David hesitates. Jack watches, holding his breath.

The silence between them is so heavy that Jack feels like he’s being crushed. Suffocated. “David...”

David takes a deep breath. Closes his eyes. “He’s a pretty good roommate, too. Even if he cares more about a $40 bottle of tequila than he cares about me.”

Jack is silent for a few long moments. He’s frozen in place, trying desperately to connect the dots, and deep down he knows what David is saying, but he can’t do this and he doesn’t want to assume and what if he's wrong? What if David is just playing a cruel joke on him? What if-- “Davey, what- what are you sayin’? I-- Dave, you need to- to spell it out, I don't understand--"

"Jackie," David cuts him off as he turns to face him, a sad smile on his face. The look makes Jack’s breath catch in his throat. “I love you. Jack Kelly, I love you.”

“No, you don’t,” Jack responds instantly, his eyes widening just slightly. “No, because- because I-- Fuck, I’ve loved you for so long, but you- you don’t love me. You- you can't love me, Davey, you deserve so- so much better than me, I'm so-- Is this real? Are you-- Are you real?”

The smile that breaks out onto David’s face stuns Jack into silence. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids,” David whispers, before letting out a laugh. “I just-- Jack, how could I not love you? You're everything to me, Jackie... Everything. All I've ever wanted. I know you don’t see it, but... You're the best thing to ever happen to me."

There's a long, long pause as Jack takes in the information. He's confused, and overwhelmed, but as the gears finally stop turning and the pieces fit into place, Jack lets out a giddy laugh. “I-- Davey, Davey, oh my God, you’re so fuckin’ perfect. You’re smart, and nice, and stubborn as a mule in the best way possible, and I- I ain’t good with words, you know that, but you--... All of my best paintings, all of my best sketches, are all because you were my muse. You were… Perfect. You’ve always been perfect… David?”

“Yeah, Jack?” David answers, breathless, and he's truly a sight to behold.

“Kiss me.”

The feeling of David frantically dragging him into his lap would forever be one of the best Jack has ever experienced. He straddles David’s thighs, wraps his arms around David’s neck, and melts as soon as David pulls him into the best kiss he had ever had.

It's just this side of rough, of passionate, of needy and wanton and Jack can feel ten years worth of wanting, waiting, wishing for this moment fuel the kiss even more.

David’s hand is in his hair. Caressing him. Grounding him.

They kiss for what feels like hours, but Jack eventually pulls back for breath, forehead gently pressed against David’s. Something tells him they should have done this a long time ago, but at least they had the rest of forever.

#I !!! LOVE !!! THEM !!!#jack kelly #david jacobs #davey jacobs #javid #javey #newsies #newsies live #newsies broadway #newsies musical #livesies #92sies #jac writes #jac txt.

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jubberry · 3 years

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oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.

thanks el i love you

Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol

1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.

so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.

Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.

2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool 😭

Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.

Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.

I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.

I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).

I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.

Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!

3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!

horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:

1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.

2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.

I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol

3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol

alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.

1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.

2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).

In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).

Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.

3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.

Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).

The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).

#harcest #fiveya #horrance #i dont think this is anti alluther but i did say i dont ship it #cause im not invested in tua canon romances #i wont tag just in case #ask game #THIS GOT SO LONG

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