#dead dumb dad and his teenage heart is angry and he needs to put it somewhere? I think yes. I also think he cried in his arms a few hours

[dirtytransmasc]

Hi!!!!

Do you have any hcs for how Alicole would try and solve and argument with the kids? Like, their dynamic (especially Aegon with Alicole cause he’s the oldest) is just so interesting and I’ve always wondered how an argument/disagreement would play out with them

ooh, tasty concept.

with arguments amongst the children, they try and get them to take a step back. they'll each take a kid (or two if it involves all of them) and give them a hug or something of the like, easing the tensions, before helping them come to some sort of compromise or agreement.

when it comes to non petty arguments that every child has, the source of issues amongst the kids is the following;

with Aegon they have to settle his need to compensate for feeling as though he is lacking. he tends to pick on his siblings when he's feeling down on himself. so it's a lot of affirming words and hugs while also chiding his cruel behavior. he's definitely hard on himself about being cruel as well, he doesn't like being mean it just sorta comes out of him when he's not in good spirits about himself. he shoves his siblings away over little things when he's upset which only makes him feel worse in the long run. the whole situation makes it hard to parent, as it's not right how he treats his siblings at times, but it's also awful how he feels and how it presents itself. there's typically long talks after the fact. Aegon's usually in his dad's arms, more often than not, while he mom comforts him.

with Aemond it's cooling his temper and frustration, deep breaths and grounding. they remind him that he can't let every jab get a rise out of him, that he always had them to turn to when he needs help, that he's not alone to handle his anger. they try and learn more and more each time, what triggers his anger, what helps him calm down, what to avoid, etc. sometimes he needs to just be held other times he needs a moment alone to breathe. they also try and help him learn how to self regulate and also make his siblings aware that he's getting upset prior to him lashing out (they also talk to them about it).

with Helaena, arguments tend to be because she thinks so differently from her brothers. not only is she a girl in a house of boys, but also because she's autistic (I was the autistic 'sister' in a house of boys for most of my life, it definitely brewed some unique arguments, and I'm gonna project god damn it), their ways of thinking and doing are so different sometimes that she just loses it. so with her, they let her talk, they let her ramble and decompress until she can ground herself, then they have to try and explain the boys point of views, how they see may not be the right way, nor is hers, neither are, but they have to learn to agree. then it's hugs and kisses and talking it out, before they go back to hashing it out with the boys.

Daeron's the most agreeable with the siblings, very adhd coded in my mind (so I'm going to project my brother onto him cause they're very copy pasted in my mind) so when he gets into an argument it's because he's going too fast, too passionate, and/or too much. so again, like most of their children, it's grounding first talking later. like Helaena, they have to explain that the way he is isn't bad or wrong, but that's sometimes we need to slow down, take a breath, cool off, and than continue.

with arguments they take their kids separately, normally separated into different rooms and they visit them together. depending on the exact situation they may just offer hugs and softness, or they'll play a slight game of good cop/bad cop, though they're careful with it. the goal is to solve the problem, not slap a bandaid on it. they tend to each kids needs before handling the actual issue at hand and then being them together to find a solution.

they can both be soft and stern in their own ways. Cole is typically softer on them, as he gets to their levels, takes them close while talking, but he has a stern voice and makes it clear he's willing to put a foot down if need be. while Alicent tends to be a bit more formal and stereotypically authoritative, sitting at the table with them, even if she holds their hands in hers and pulls their chairs close so she can stroke their cheeks.

normally the kids can make right up, or at least come to peaceful terms, but if it doesn't, cause kids can hold grudges like no one's business, Alicent and Cole are forced to remain wholly neutral which is much harder than one would think. most of their fights that lead to grudges are very childish so it's really just waiting for them to crack and realize it was a stupid argument. this is made easier when they don't get involved, so they just laugh amongst themselves where the kids can't see them, and try and keep face in front of them (they can smell weakness and betrayal. send help. a 4 kids household isn't easy). they definitely have moments where they wave the white flag cause one of the kids accused them of siding. the "get along" shirt is also an active and well worn member of the family (Aegon and Aemond share it often)

this video is very much Aegon and Daeron. they feud often. they're either acting like Aegon is a second dad to him, or they are actually going to war and have been sworn enemies for generations, fighting a battle to honor their forefathers (Alicent and Criston are so tired). speaking of Aegon being a second dad, he definitely oversees a lot of arguments between Daeron and his friends... does he understand little kid drama? no. is it entertaining as all hell? you fucking bet, he wants to hear all about what little James did at daycare.

when the kids are arguing with them, which with the way they run the house is pretty rare, but not impossible, they first take a step back for themselves. they will never show anger or cruelty towards their kids, so they make sure they're ok before they even think about talking to their kids.

talking will always be their goal, they never want to use threats or punishments to get what they want from their kids, and they have different ways about it. because their kids know how their household works, that things work on their time, and that just being open and honest, they really just need a day or two to themselves, if the reason for arguing isn't time sensitive, and then they can just take it out.

Aegon is sulky, he just closes himself in his room or flees to a friend's house (which they let happen so long as he leaves a note, leaves his location on his phone, and checks in every few hours) if its really bad. he'll drag himself back to the kitchen table in 48 hours tops, wanting nothing more than for his mom and dad to love him again (they never stopped).

Aemond is just frustrated past reason, so he'll go out and fence with his dummy or just something physical, then he's more willing to listen to reason.

Helaena normally had a boundary or nerve pushed, which was normally accidental, either cause she was already frustrated with something or something changed and it just put both parties in bad positions. space is all she needs.

Daeron is a bit of all the above. he's sensitive, though hard to cross, its often more about other things, something his parent did just broke the camels back, so a long run brings everything back to reason.

Alicent and Criston care so much about their kids, every argument they have with their kids, typically one-sided as they refuse to truly yell, breaks their heart whether or not they did anything or not. they never plan to punish their kids for arguing, they were kids once and they know that its good that they feel safe enough to stand up and fight for what they believe to be true, that they feel safe to shout and disagree with them. they would rather that over anything else, cause they know their kids trust them.

while they aren't permissive with their kids, their are rules and hard limits, they don't count arguing as something to be punished, and their kids don't tend to strand into punishable territories. so resolving a fight is a long talk at the kitchen table, no man's land so to speak, where all parties air their grievances. the problem is discussed, apologies are said on all sides, and sometimes it doesn't always end in a hug, but it does end in feelings being soothed and bridges mended. no one walks away with hard feelings.

they're not perfect, but they make it work, and because they've put so much time and effort into making their home safe and sane, the whole family in therapy, making active efforts to be nothing like their first "home" true arguments are far and few between, and when they happen they're equipped to handle it. Alicent and Cole are such good parents, their kids love and trust them, theirs so much space to talk and negotiate and handle issues early on that there typically isn't any reason to fight. I think that's what makes them such a good family, cause its so hard for me to picture them actually fighting outside of petty things.

#I genuinely cannot picture this family fighting #like petty things between the kids or teenage angst hurled at Alicent and Criston that they laugh about a few hours later most definitely #they wouldn't be a family otherwise #but I think that real arguments are rare and I love that for them #definitely strived to find the balance between gentle and authoritative parenting so their kids are well structured #handle all of their problems when they were little and now most issues are easy #cyclebreakers fr fr #they're also all mommy/daddy's girls and boys #all their fights are just big feelings that need to be rode out #Aegon yelling at Criston cause he's young and dumb and hurting cause he got his heart broken at school or cause he had to think about #dead dumb dad and his teenage heart is angry and he needs to put it somewhere? I think yes. I also think he cried in his arms a few hours #later and begged for his dad to love him again. cause they're hopeless #Helaena losing her mind at her parents cause she's just so stressed and everything'd out by the world and they just happened to breathe the #wrong way at dinner? again. I think yes. and she felt so bad afterward and goes on a whole vent about school and people and does some DPT #after letting them both hug her really tight so she could calm down #Aemond getting frustrated cause they're “babying” him over the loss of his eye and just ending up a sobbing screaming mess cause he's just #so mad at the world and he doesn't know what to do with himself #Daeron's head getting too loud so he gets super upset and disregulated and starts yelling in his room. not even at them directly until they #come in. he just loses his shit for a minute until he's tuckered out and then he's a mess in his parents arms #teenage angst is a bitch and the source of everyone's problems #alicole #alicent hightower #criston cole #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen #daeron targaryen #pro team green #hotd

[parkrstark]

ben’s old number

5k | (ao3 link) | buy me a ko-fi?

Peter’s shaking thumb clicked the familiar contact number only moments after he woke up from the nightmare. It was almost 3am, but Ben worked midnights and hopefully, if he was by his phone he could pick it up and just talk to him to reassure him it was all going to be okay--. 

The thought was smashed when a woman answered the phone. “Hello?”

Peter couldn’t breathe. 

How could he forget?

Ben wasn’t going to pick up the phone. Ben was dead. And his phone number was gone. 

He didn’t say a word, but whoever was on the other line could definitely hear his labored breathing. A woman sounded annoyed when she spoke, “I’m not in the mood for your damn practical jokes.” 

Peter just wanted Ben to pick up. He wanted to hear his voice. 

“Hello? What are you still doing? I’m not buying anything. And take me off your list. Should be ashamed for calling folks this late at night.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered suddenly, his body refusing to stop shaking. The nightmare was still fresh in his mind and the fact that Ben wasn’t there to pick up the phone made it even worse. 

“Sorry?”

“I shouldn’t have called-- I wasn’t thinking. I thought he’d be there.” Because he was always there. Peter squeezed his eyes shut as tears rolled down his cheeks. 

The woman didn’t respond right away but when she did, her voice was softer. “Well, he may not be here, but I am. If you need someone to talk to.”

Peter couldn’t say anything, but the woman on the other end didn’t rush him. She sensed he wasn’t going to say anything and spoke softly instead. Peter wasn’t sure what she was saying, but it was easy to focus on her soothing voice. Before long, his breathing had pretty much evened out. 

“Sounds like you’re back with me,” she said, cutting herself off on a conversation about...her cats? 

“Back?” Peter said, still trying to calm himself down. 

“You were freaking out moments ago-- you have anxiety, son?” It didn’t sound harsh or rude, only patient.

“Bad dream,” he whispered, his voice still raw from the scream he let out as he shot up in bed. 

“Not that I mind the call, but why’re you talking to me?” Now that Peter could something other than he panicked breathing, he could hear her voice. It was soft and she sounded older, probably in her 60s or 70s. 

“It’s a long story,” Peter said just because this stranger didn’t want to hear him whine. 

“Seems like I've got the time. Since you already woke me up,” she said, her voice teasing. 

Still, Peter apologized. “I'm sorry for waking you. I usually call this number and get his voicemail.” 

“Who is he?” 

Peter swallowed around the lump in his throat. “My uncle. You’ve got Uncle Ben’s old number.” 

“I'm sorry.” 

“It's okay. It was a few months ago.” 4 months ago. And it still hurt like hell. 

“My husband passed three years ago and sometimes it feels like just yesterday.” 

“Does it get any easier?” Peter whispered, afraid of the answer. 

Her reply was hesitant. “Sometimes it's easier to forget there's a part of you missing. It never truly does leave.” 

He already knew that. Even if he only knew his parents for the first few years of his life, there were nights he missed them more than anything. “It sucks,” he said. 

The woman laughed. “Yeah. It does suck. But he wouldn't want you to be upset over them. He had his life; it's time for you to live yours.”

But Ben didn't get his life. He died in his early 40s because of Peter...that wasn't a life. That was half of a life. All because of Peter. 

“He deserved more.” 

“Only the Lord knows why he takes them from us so soon. I wish He didn't...but there's a reason out there.” 

Peter clenched his fist, remembering the countless nights after losing Ben that he spent screaming at God. It had been a strained relationship ever since, to say the least. 

“And I know right now it's hard to see, but it'll be okay.” 

Peter appreciated her taking her time to talk to him and even calm him down from an anxiety attack, but this wasn't going to help. He'd talked to dozens of people, including the school psychologist about finding peace and knowing Ben was safe and happy now. 

Why couldn't he be safe and happy here? 

It wasn't fair. 

“Are you still there, son?” 

Peter blinked the angry tears from his eyes. “Yeah. You know what, I'm gonna head back to bed. I've got school tomorrow so…”

“Are you okay to sleep?”

“‘Course. I'm sorry again, ma’am,” Peter apologized quickly. “I'll let you go now.”

“If you need someone to talk to again...you know who to call,” she said before Peter could hang up. 

“Yeah...thank you. Goodnight.” 

Peter hung up his phone and shoved it on his desk. He fell onto his bed, laid down, and cried. 

--

It had been months since he last called the phone number. Ben wasn't on the other side anymore. Not even his voice-mail. 

There was no reason to bother that poor old lady. 

But he didn’t know who else to call. 

“It’s their anniversary today,” he told her when she picked up the phone. “It’s her first one without him.” 

She stayed quiet, but Peter could hear her breathing softly. 

“I could tell she was upset so I left the apartment to give her some space.” He wiped the tears off his face. “I’m sitting in a nearby park. My uncle and I used to come here a lot when I was upset. He always knew...what to say. I wish I could do that for May.” 

“I think just being there for her might help,” the woman said.

“I want her to remember how it was before I came into her life and ruined it,” he said, kicking at a pebble with his shoe. “If I never came along, they’d be enjoying a romantic day together.” 

“Something tells me you didn’t ruin her life. I’ve seen parents that don’t care for their children. I know what that looks like. But from the few stories you’ve told me, I don’t think that’s true.”

Peter grunted as he watched a father chase his child around the playground. Jealously was gnawing at his heart. “I ruin everyone’s life. Everyone leaves me.” 

“Your uncle--.” 

“My mom, my dad, my uncle...they all just left.” Peter scrubbed at his eyes, hoping the tears wouldn’t start falling in public. 

“People would stay with you their whole lives if they could. I know that for a fact. You’re a good kid.” She was trying to make him feel better just like Ben used to. But it didn’t work. Nobody could ever make him smile again like Ben could. 

“Doubt it.” 

It was silent on both ends for a few moments before she spoke again, “Do you feel like this a lot? Like a burden to the people in your life?”

“Sometimes. Yeah.” 

“Do you have someone to talk to? Someone other than me, I mean.” 

Peter immediately felt guilty. “I’m sorry for always bothering you. I’ll stop calling. I’m sorry--.” 

“No. No. That’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you suffering by yourself. I’m only a phone call away, but I want you to have someone in your life there for you. In person.” 

“I have my aunt and my best friend. I have people...just sometimes, I don’t want to put it on them. May already has been through a lot and my best friend is just a kid. It’s hard. Ben used to be the one that knew how to fix everything.” 

“I don’t mind being that person for now, but I’m not sure I’m the best. Maybe start talking to your aunt about this more. She might need someone to talk to too.” 

“I don’t need someone new!” Peter shouted, angry at her for even suggesting it. “I just need him!” 

He hung up the phone before she could answer. He stood up from the bench and started to walk away as the tears started to pour. He didn’t want anyone to see him this upset. These kids on the playground didn’t deserve their days ruined by an emotionally unstable teenager.

HIs phone rang twice before he got back to his apartment. He knew it was the woman, but he didn’t know for sure until he got back into his room and he saw two missed calls from Ben on his phone. He hadn’t seen that since the night he ran off and Ben called him to come home. 

Peter let out a cry and threw the phone against his wall, watching it put a hole in the wall and probably shatter the entire screen.

He fell to the floor next and cried.

--

“Your call has been forward to an automated voice message system recording.”

“I-I’m sorry about how I acted earlier. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m sorry.” 

--

“Your call has been forward to an automated voice message system recording.”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you the other day. I’m sorry. I just-- I get so angry when I think about Ben because it was my fault. Everyone tells me it wasn’t, but I know it was. And I hate myself for what I did. I yelled at him too. The last thing I did was yell at him. I never got to say sorry. Or to tell him that I loved him. And--.” 

Beeeeeeep. 

--

“Your call has been forward to an automated voice message system recording.”

“I’ll stop calling you. I’m sorry.” 

--

“...Hello?”

“Your uncle didn’t need you to tell him you loved him for him to know. He knew you much you loved him every moment of his life.” 

--

He tried to limit how much he called her after that. 

But one day, he found himself clicking on Ben’s contact without even thinking. There was a grin on his face. He knew Ben wouldn't be there, but his excitement told him to call anyway. 

He shouldn't have been surprised when she picked up. “Hello?”

“I got an internship from Tony Stark!” Peter said because he couldn't exactly tell this stranger he was Spider-Man and Iron man recruited him. 

“Oh-- well, congratulations.” It was so obviously the woman's voice, but he just wanted to be happy for once and pretend everything was okay.

“Can you believe it? Tony Stark wants me. He's been my hero since I was a little kid. Remember when you took me to that Stark Expo? And the Hammer drones almost fried me-- but he came in and saved me?”

Of course, she didn't. She wasn't there. 

But he was. 

“You got so mad, but I know it was only because you were so worried. Man, I was a dumb kid.” He laughed. “But, anyway, I just wanted to tell you the news. Can't believe Tony Stark actually chose me.” 

Her voice was low as she responded, “I'm proud of you.”

Something broke inside Peter at that and the tears started falling. “Thank you.”

“I know he'd be very proud of you too. Sounds like he raised quite a brilliant boy.” Her voice was warm with praise and he was okay with that. Because it was obviously for Ben. Ben was the one that raised him into the person he was today. He deserved all the credit. 

“I just want to make him proud.”

“Believe me. You do,” she said, softly. 

But how could she know that? She had no idea how Ben died. Why he died. Whose fault it was. There was no way she could know it was all because of Peter and still say Ben was proud of him. “You don’t...you can’t say that. Not if you knew.” 

“Look at you. Look at how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking. I don’t know you, son, but I know you. I know you are definitely the kind of kid any parent or uncle would be proud of. Hell, I’m tempted to go brag about you at my cards night.” She laughed and Peter listened hard as if he could hear Ben’s laugh in hers. 

“I just want to make him proud,” Peter said, softly. “I wish he was here so I could tell him. He’d be so happy.” 

“I’m sure he would be,” the woman agreed. “And he’s up there looking down at you. I know he is. Don’t ever think he isn’t or he wouldn’t be proud.” 

“He always told me I’d do great things one day. He told me he’d be there every step of the way, cheering me on,” his voice cracked at the end. 

“He’s still cheering you, son. I bet he’s your biggest fan up there.” She laughed softly. “He’s telling all of the other angels you’re his boy.”

Peter hesitated, trying to keep his voice from fully breaking. “It’s not fair.”

“It never is.”

--

“We won! We won the World Series!”  Peter practically screamed into his phone as he threw himself on his bed. The tattered old Mets hat was still on his head, his hair curling around the edges of it around his head. It was a bit tight on him, but he wasn’t ever going to replace this one. 

Ben bought it for him at his first Mets game. 

“Hate to break it to you, son, but I’m a Yankees fan,” said the familiar voice that Peter had started to see as a friend, even though he didn’t even know her name. 

“Oof,” Peter said, “You’re one of them?” 

She chuckled. “Yes. I am one of them.” 

“It’s okay. So is Mr. Stark.” Peter closed his eyes and smiled at the memories from earlier that day. “I’ve tried converting him, but he won’t listen.” 

“You won’t convert me either, kid. My hubby had season tickets and he’d drag me along to almost every game when they played at home.” 

“Not a good season to be a Yankee fan, huh?” Peter grinned. 

“You better watch yourself,” she said with no heat to her words. “We’ve got 27 wins, bud. What? Is this your third?” 

Peter rolled over staring at the Mets poster he had on his wall signed by a few players. “Ben always promised he’d take me to the parade when they won. He’d take me out of school and we’d celebrate together.” 

“He’s not missing it. He was watching the game with you.”

Peter looked down at his blanket, feeling the guilt he’d been trying to ignore. “Mr. Stark offered to take me to the parade-- not that I need a chaperone...but he wanted to join me. Make a day out of it-- He thinks he can get me on a float.” 

“If he does, you better tell me. Maybe I’ll have to check out the parade then. Will you wave to me?” 

Peter tried smiling, but it didn’t stay. “Do you think it’s bad...that I’m excited to go with him? It’s just...it was always something Ben promised to with me and now…” 

The woman sighed sadly. “Now you feel like you’re replacing him?”

“Yeah. Because it’s...I’m happier now that I’ve been hanging out with Mr. Stark. And sometimes I stop and think about how it’s not fair that I’m happy with him and Ben isn’t.” Peter wiped at his eyes when he felt them burning with unshed tears. 

“You being happy isn’t selfish, son. He’d want you to be happy. Enjoy yourself. Just because Mr. Stark is there for you doesn’t mean you’re forgetting about your uncle.”

“That’s what Aunt May says…” 

“Sounds like a very wise woman,” she said softly. 

“So...you think I should go? And-- it’s okay to let myself be happy when I’m there.” 

“Of course it is. Your uncle wants nothing other than you being happy. Go to that parade and have the time of your life.” She chuckled again. “Afterall, the Mets winning a World Series? That’s a once in a lifetime event.” 

“Ha ha, very funny,” Peter replied. “Keep your eyes out for a kid with curly brown hair and slightly larger than normal ears on the Mets float. I’ll be waving right to you.”

She laughed out a loud laugh and Peter wished it was Ben. “Sounds like a plan, son.” 

--

Peter excused himself to the bathroom in the middle of dinner. He knew he didn’t have to call her. But he wanted to. He wanted her to know he was okay. He rarely checked in anymore. “I won the science fair!” 

“Oh, you did, did you?” 

“Yeah! I’m going to the National level next month. Mr. Stark and I worked on it for weeks. I never thought it would actually win first place!” He leaned against the wall just outside the restroom with a smile on his face. 

“Mr. Stark, huh?”

“Yeah…” Peter peered around the wall to see Tony and May sitting at their table, laughing about something they were talking about. His smile softened. “He took me and my aunt out to dinner to celebrate. It’s our favorite diner.” 

“I’m glad he knows how smart you are.” 

“I couldn’t have done it without him.” 

“I doubt that, son.” She laughed. “But I’m happy for you. Congratulations. You better call me when you win Nationals.” 

Peter nodded his head. “I will.” 

“Good boy...now you go and enjoy your meal! I don’t wanna hold you up. Thank you for calling.” 

“Thank you for listening.” 

--

Their phone calls grew less and less through the months. Then, there came a time when it was almost a full year since he last dialed her number. 

When Peter called her that night, he wasn’t calling Ben. He was calling her.

He was hesitant when she answered. He wasn’t sure he’d even remember him. “Hello…” 

“Why hello there, stranger.” 

“I’m sorry it’s been so long.” 

“You don’t have to apologize.” She didn’t sound upset or angry at him. 

Peter bit his lip, unsure of how to start this conversation. She seemed to sense his silence as something and started it for him. 

“So, this is goodbye, huh?” 

“N-not goodbye exactly…” Goodbyes scared Peter. He liked this woman. He didn’t want to just forget about her.

“Son, you don’t have to sugarcoat it. It’s alright. We both know I was only here because your Uncle wasn’t. You called me just to have someone to listen.” 

“Yeah, but--.” 

“And do you remember that day when I told you that you’d find someone else to talk to? Someone in your life that would make you feel a little less empty?”

Peter swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Yeah…” 

“You found him. You found the person that makes the pain hurt just a bit less.” Her voice sounded like she had a smile on her face as she spoke. 

Peter knew she was right. Tony was always there. Even when Peter himself didn’t know he was upset, Tony did, and he refused to let it get bad. And when it was out of Tony’s control and Peter spiraled, Tony was right there the entire time. 

“Mr. Stark loves you something awful. He’s your person now. It’s okay to make room for him.” 

Peter wiped at his eyes. “What about you?” 

“I’ve had my children and their children since day one. I’m not alone in this either. Go and live your life. Let yourself feel happy. Let Mr. Stark cheer you on. Ben’s always there. I’ll be here too, if you ever want to say hi.” 

“Thank you…” Peter paused and furrowed his brow. “I just realized I never got your name.” 

She laughed and answered, “My name is Maria.” 

“Nice to meet you, Maria. My name is Peter.” 

--

Peter wasn’t supposed to be crying right now. He wasn’t supposed to cry until he saw his soon to be wife walking down the aisle. But in the dressing room before the wedding even started? No, he probably wasn’t supposed to be struggling to stifle his sobs. 

He heard the door behind him open but he didn’t move. He knew who it was by the way his Spidey senses sent a wave of comfort through him. “Hey, bud, you almost ready? We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” 

Peter hoped his voice wasn’t as weak as it felt when he spoke, “Do you ever...just miss someone?”

Tony, of course, took the humorous route. “You just talked to Ned like an hour ago.” 

Peter sighed. “Mr. Stark...I’m being serious.” 

Tony remained silent as he walked over and sat in front of Peter. He put a hand on his knee and squeezed when he was sitting. “Alright, bud, I’m here. I’m listening.” 

“At first...I forgot he wouldn’t pick up. He was always the one I called. Good or bad. And then suddenly, it wasn’t him on the other end anymore.” Peter sniffled as he stared down at where Tony’s hand was resting. “A woman has his number now. I used to call her a lot before I met you. She said I’d find someone else like Ben, but I didn’t believe her. Until you came around.” 

He looked up at saw Tony’s eyes widen. They were older now, with wrinkles pinching in the corners and his hair was starting to gray. He was getting the kind of old that Ben never got the chance to.

“I’ve called her here and there, but not for Ben. Just to see how she’s doing...it’s you that I call now. When I got accepted into MIT, when I got too drunk at that frat party, when MJ asked me out, when MJ got pregnant...it’s always you on the other end now. FOr those big things and even the little things. And I like it.” 

“I like it too, kiddo.” 

“But--.” Peter had to pause for a breath when he felt a sob close to escaping. “But sometimes I just miss his voice. I wish he could be here right now, telling me how nervous he was before marrying May and then he’d tell a corny joke and call me Petey and it would be okay. But he’s not. And I can’t even call his phone number to listen to his voice anymore. Sometimes I forget what he even sounds like.”

Tony cleared his throat and said, “I threw up all of Rhodey’s shoes.” 

Peter furrowed his brow and sniffled. “What?”

“Right before I was supposed to be out there. Remember when I said I had adult stuff to do?” 

Peter nodded his head. 

“I was just trying to get you out of the room so you didn’t seem me freak out. The second you walked out, I turned around and hurled all over Rhodey’s shoes.” 

Peter let out a small laugh. “That’s why he was wearing sneakers?”

Tony closed his eyes and nodded his head. “Yup. That’s why he was wearing sneakers. Peter laughed again. “I thought you weren’t nervous one bit.” 

“Are you kidding? I was like two seconds from pulling a Big and leaving Pepper at the altar.” Tony shook his head. “Rhodey was the one that calmed me down after...changing out of his shoes. It’s okay to be nervous. It’s good to be nervous.” 

Peter let out a long breath. “I just...I’m about to marry the love of my life and she’s got our baby inside her. I don’t want to ruin this.” 

Tony put his hands on Peter’s shoulders and said, “You will not ruin anything. I’m not anywhere near the man you are and I turned out fine. You’re going to be an amazing husband and an incredible father.” 

“Thanks, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, smiling softly. 

Tony pulled him in for a tight hug and whispered in his ear, “No problem, Petey.” 

--

“He’s beautiful,” Tony whispered, looking down at the newborn in his arms. MJ was fast asleep, exhausted after the hours of labor. 

Peter smiled next to him, keeping his voice low too. “His name is Benjamin Anthony Parker.” 

Tony lifted his head to stare at Peter with wide eyes that were already filling with tears. “You named him after…”

“After Ben and you. My two biggest fans.” 

“I’m telling May you said that.” Tony said with a soft laugh. 

“Guess I’ll have to name my daughter May then.” Peter moved closer to Tony so that their arms were touching. Neither of them said a word as they both stared down at Peter’s son, who was only a few hours old. He was blinking back up at Tony, unaware of the man holding him and just how much he loved him. “Being a grandpa looks good on you.” 

“God, I’m not that old, Parker. I’m the cool uncle.” 

“Ned is the cool uncle.” 

“Cool is kinda pushing it.” 

Peter tried to hold back his laugh so he didn’t wake his sleeping wife. “Yeah. You’re right.” 

“Always am.” 

Peter reached over to push his finger into Benjamin’s hand. “I wish Ben could meet him. I wish I could give him a call and let him know.” 

“Why don’t you? Did you forget his number?” 

“No. Of course not.” Even if he didn’t have his number saved still he would never forget it. 

“Then why don’t you give him a call? Tell him you named him after him. Me too. Don’t forget that part.” 

Peter pulled his cell phone from his pocket and sighed. “I guess I could give her a call. I want to thank her for the gift she brought to the baby shower anyway. Even if it’s a Yankees onesie.” 

“I personally cannot wait to babysit Benny and dress him up in that.” 

Peter rolled his eyes as he opened his contacts and chose Ben’s. He really needed to change that to Maria’s name. He brought the phone to his ear and wait for her to pick up. But she didn’t. It went straight to voicemail. 

“Hey, this is Ben Parker, sorry I missed your call. I’m either suffering from food poison given to me by my wife or kicking my boy’s ass in a Nerf gun war. Give me a call later and I’ll get back to you.” 

Peter’s world stopped for a moment. That was...that was Ben. His Uncle. That was his voicemail. That was his voice. 

Peter looked over to Tony, not even bothering to stop the tears from trailing down his cheeks. “Mr. Stark…” 

“At your wedding, you wanted to hear his voice but couldn’t. I thought maybe for this milestone, he could be there for you.” 

Peter hadn’t blinked once. He knew the phone was recording his message, but he couldn’t look away from Tony. “How…” 

“It took a while. And I had to fight with a lot of people with the phone company. They said his recording was gone, but c’mon, it couldn’t be gone completely. It had to be saved somewhere. So I had FRIDAY search through their files linked to that phone number until they found it. And I had them put it back up. His phone line isn’t going anywhere. It’ll still be up when your kid is having a kid. Don’t worry about that.” 

Peter felt his shoulders shaking with silent tears. He didn’t know what to say. Tony went through all that trouble just for him?

“And I got your friend’s new number. Maria.” Tony’s smile softened. “Pretty name...but yeah, I saved it for you so you could still talk to her. And you don’t have to go back to calling him. I’m still here and I still want to be here for everything. Whether it’s as big as Ben taking his first steps or as small as you telling me about what you had for lunch. I want to hear everything. I just thought...you’d like to hear his voice again too.” 

Peter stared at Tony for another moment before turning back to his phone and dialing Ben’s number again. He didn’t even click the contact. He pretended he was 6-years-old, learning Uncle Ben’s number for emergencies. 

He put the phone on speaker so Tony could hear his voice. So Ben could hear his voice. “Hey, this is Ben Parker, sorry I missed your call. I’m either suffering from food poison given to me by my wife or kicking my boy’s ass in a Nerf gun war. Give me a call later and I’ll get back to you.” 

Peter took in a shaky breath as he heard Ben again. “Hey, Ben...haven’t spoken to you in a while. A lot’s happened, but I know you’ve been watching...I just wanted to tell you my son was born today. Him and mom are both healthy. I named him after you and Mr. Stark...Benjamin Anthony.” Peter paused for a second. He didn’t have forever, but he didn’t need to fit it all on this tape. Ben was always listening. “Alright, well, I’m gonna hang up. I’ll talk to you soon. Just wanted Mr. Stark and Benjamin to meet you. I love you, Uncle Ben.”

Peter hung up his phone and stared down at it. He knew Ben never really left, but it was nice to hear him again. He looked back up at Tony, even though he could barely see through his tears. “Thank you, Mr. Stark. Thank you so much.” 

“You named your kid after me, Pete. It’s the least I could do.” 

Peter wiped his eyes so he could look down at his son and see him. “He’s gonna grow up so loved.” 

“Sure is. Spoiled too. You know how I didn’t spoil Morgan--.” 

“You spoiled her. You spoiled me too.” 

“That? That was not spoiling. Just you wait. You haven’t seen how bad I can spoil yet.”

Peter leaned his head on Tony’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Tony spoiled him just by growing old enough for Peter to see his hair turn gray. Nothing Tony could ever buy for Benjamin would be better than that. 

“Thank you.” Thank you for giving me that.

“You’re welcome, bud.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Peter’s head. “Why don’t you go lay down next to MJ and take a nap too? Grandpa will watch the little one. He’ll be safe with me.” 

Peter looked at the way his son was snuggled against Tony’s chest and he felt safe too. “Yeah. I know.” 

#iron dad #peter parker #tony stark #shannon writes

[lambourngb]

My brain is still a messed up bowl of depression and anxiety soup. However, I’m trying to get back into writing so I can finish Last Year’s Wishes. And hey, thank you everyone for reblogging my dumb not-fic this morning, that was sweet.

Anyway @tasyfa gave me some suggestions on re-igniting the fires of creativity- like re-reading the story, putting on the right playlist, thinking mindfully about the next step in the story.

I spent the morning re-reading, and it felt a bit weird. Like I know I wrote it, but wow it feels like a million years ago... bits that I love and can’t believe came out of my brain:

From Chapter 8- I loved writing stoned Alex.

The sounds of Michael moving about the cabin, the thunk of discarded boots on the wooden floors, the soft close of a door and the start of the shower all made for a soothing background noise that Alex drifted in peacefully. He shut his eyes for a moment, only to find himself awake to the strong scent of food again.

Michael sat a plate on the coffee table in front of him. Dinner was a pair of hot dogs slathered with relish and mustard, with baked beans spilling around it. He placed a can of soda next to it, sweeping away the now-warm beer bottle from his reach. “You awake enough to eat?”

“Yeah, I'm starved.” Alex rubbed the drug fatigue from his face, and reached toward his hip for the melting bag of ice only to encounter a fresh pack with his fingertips. Michael had thoughtfully changed out the ice and prepared him dinner, all after working a full day at Sanders's. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you do all this after working.”

Michael cracked open a bottle of beer, and settled back in the chair with an amused look. His own plate of food balanced on his thighs. The shower’s effects were present, the damp curls mussed and in intact locks around his face, and his grease-marked clothes exchanged for a simple sweatpants and t-shirt. “You make a terrible wife, Alex, not having a hot meal ready at the end of the day for your hard-working man.”

“Haven’t had a lot of practice.” Alex bit into the hot dog, noting to himself that Michael prepared it just the way he liked it with no ketchup to be seen.

“No? You never played house like this before with a boyfriend? I mean, once you could legally.”

“Can’t play house if you've never had a boyfriend.”

Michael paused, holding his beer to his lips in surprise. “What, never?”

It was flattering that Michael appeared so shocked by the idea. Alex chewed with deliberate consideration. “Depends, are you counting yourself?”

“I wasn’t.”

“Then never.”

***

From Chapter 12:

Michael swallowed hard, twin wet tracks of tears shining on his cheeks. “That family tree, the evil doesn’t branch out much, does it? Direct line to your dad.”

“I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t,” he cut Alex off brutally. “Don’t apologize. You’re not the one who put her in that cage. That was what, your great-grandfather Harlan? And you’re not the one who gave her that fucked up exam, that was just your granddaddy. And you’re not the one who killed her. That was just daddy dearest-” Michael choked harshly, as a sob caught in his throat. “Or me, depending on how you look at it. So don’t apologize, Alex. It wasn’t you.”

“No, just everyone I’m related to,” Alex replied bleakly, taking a seat next to Michael. He reached out to rest a hand on Michael’s leg cautiously. “I'm sorry that you saw that. I was… I was looking for footage of her where she was... where she was just in her cell. Not okay, but not being hurt.”

Michael tipped his head to the side, to meet Alex’s gaze finally. “Did you find any?”

Mutely Alex shook his head, as his own eyes welled up.

“Yeah, didn’t think so.”

His heart breaking at the amount of pain and hopelessness on Michael’s face pushed him to keep going, “It’s early though. I… I've only been able to crack two out of twelve of the drives. That one’s part of one that documents procedures. There might be others that are just surveillance.”

“Mmmm. So I can watch her pace in a glass cage, instead of being sexually assaulted. Cold fucking comfort, Alex.” Michael’s voice broke on the word assaulted, before it turned hard and angry. “When were you going to tell me you had these? When you found some nonexistent footage of her not being tortured?”

“I was going to tell you, I was,” Alex defended weakly. The justification for waiting for the correct time was just as Kyle predicted, feeble and without weight. This was the fruit of his cowardice. “It’s horrible, I know. I was trying to spare you the visuals.”

“I need you to stop doing that. You can’t keep trying to control shit by holding onto information and then saying it’s to protect me. I have a right to make my own damn decisions. She was my mother!” Michael ended his ragged speech with a harsh cry. He wrapped his left hand into a fist, pulling tight on the black wrap on his knuckles.

Immediately Alex tensed, as he wiped at an escaped tear. His brain, formed and shaped by his experiences with his father, went into high alert. Michael, with his own trauma-shaped instincts, caught his flinch instantly and exploded upward from his seat and away from Alex to place several feet between them in the close confines of the bunker.

“For fuck’s sake,” Michael shook his head, wounded as he fisted the curls back from his eyes. “I will never, fucking never, lay on a hand on you.”

More tears spilled from Alex’s eyes, as he took a deep breath to lock down his feelings. He was really messing this up with Michael, not that the reveal was ever going to go smoothly. The progress that they had made in the last few weeks was vanishing right before his eyes, and he felt helpless to stop it.

Trying for calm and conciliatory, he replied lowly, “I know. I know you wouldn't. We've never done that to each other.”

“Right. Never.” Michael kept to the other side of the room.  He dropped his hands flat against his side, keeping them in view. His face was red, struggling to hold back his devastation at Alex’s response, merely compounding the grief triggered by the video. “I'm pissed and I can barely look at you right now because you kept this from me, but that. That’s not me, that’s not us.”

“I know, Michael.” Alex took another deep breath, and wiped at his face with his sleeve. Gradually he felt his pulse starting to slow, with the soft embrace of an upcoming adrenaline crash threatening at the edges.  “Just... tell me what you need?”

“I don’t know. Short of a time machine, where I can rescue my mom, there's nothing. She’s dead. She lived a long, miserable life here. How ...how old was that clip?”

***

From Chapter 14

“Well, it’s like you said, I’m the expert in leaving.” He twisted his lips in a semblance of a smile, “I had just learned you had slept with my best friend and you were working on a way to leave orbit, how else was I supposed to react?”

“I don’t know, I guess I didn’t really think you’d care,” Michael paused, shrugging carelessly, “about either of those things.”

“Now we’re back to the ways in which I’ve fucked up with you.” Alex braved a hand on Michael’s arm. “I care about both of those things. I'm trying to come to terms with you moving on from me and that’s not going great, okay? This limbo we’re in, it hurts, but it’s nothing compared to what you leaving the planet will do to me.”

Michael blinked a few times forcefully as his eyes started to glisten. “Really?”

Alex tightened his grip on Michael’s arm, as he dug down for the words. He knew this was usually the point where he backed off and let things be understood instead of implicitly being said. The second, third, and fourth chances to get this right kept slipping away from him.

It would be stupid to waste another moment.

“It would kill me, Michael. I know I left in the past, with deployments and training rotations, but I was always going to come back. Even after the IED hit, I pulled a belt off my dead friend and killed my right foot just so I could live long enough to come back to you.” Alex swallowed hard, forcing the grief back down his throat. “I was prepared to hack the DMV once my assignment to Roswell was over just to track you down. But I can’t hack a spaceship, so I kept the piece from you. I’m sorry.”

A tear finally streaked down Michael’s face as he let go of the console and turned to put his arms around Alex. “God you’re such a fucking asshole.”

The sentiment was in direct opposition to the tight embrace Michael pulled him into, before he leaned back to meet Alex’s eyes. His hands trailed from Alex’s waist and glided up to cup his jaw, holding his face close, so he tipped his forehead against Alex’s. “Such a fucking asshole,” Michael repeated wetly.

“Does that mean you forgive me?” Alex ventured tentatively, soaking in his touch greedily.

****

From chapter 17:

“Yes, and no,” he admitted quietly, his fingers fidgeted with the discarded beer cap. “I want to talk to my best friend about my boy problems but he’s also your boy problem so that makes it hard.”

“Pretend he isn’t then,” Maria urged softly. “Can you do that? ‘Cause I miss you, Alex. There’s nothing I want more than to talk to my best friend about dumb boys again.”

Alex had had a lot of experience pretending it wasn’t Michael Guerin he was twisted up over and then seeking out the counsel of Maria in return. It wasn’t that much of a stretch when he thought about it. Over ten years of discussions about feeling he wasn’t saying the right thing, or being too scared to act on his impulses, and she had patiently held his hand through it all without once knowing the identity. Steady, supportive, and always with a wicked twist of humor to remind him just what a catch she thought he was.

When he was a teenager trying to fall asleep through the various dull aches that came from disappointing his father, he used to press his bruised face into his pillow and pray for two things. To not be Jesse Manes’s son, or if he had to be that, then at least let him fall in love with Maria Deluca.

God was cruel enough to keep him under Jesse’s roof and to leave his desires unchanged.

While his love for Maria skipped over the romantic track, nonetheless it still flowed strongly over the years. Scattered around the loft were various gifts that Alex had sent to her during his time away from Roswell. A wall tapestry he had picked up in Kabul hung from one wall. A pipe and ashtray set from an Istanbul market sat next to a wooden cigar box where Alex knew Maria kept her weed. A bright blue glazed bowl painted in the geometric designs of peacock feathers rested on a side table. It had been a gift from a thankful Yazidi father after his unit evacuated his daughters to a UN camp safely. He had meticulously packed and padded the bowl to ship to Maria two weeks prior to the IED. With the typical international shipping delays, he had already transferred from Landstuhl to Walter Reed by the time Maria had received it.

He held onto that connection, pushing down the lingering question of where Michael spent the night in the close confines of the loft. Certainly not on this small couch.

“Alright, deal.” Alex licked his lower lip in thought. “So there’s this guy, and we have some pretty heavy history together. We’re trying to be friends and like figure out who we are to each other outside of-” he broke off, glancing toward her bedroom alcove nervously before finishing, “outside of the bedroom.”

Maria followed his glance without comment, before taking another sip from her bottle. “That sounds like a healthy and adult decision, Alex. Can I take the credit for browbeating you over the years or do I have to share it with your therapist?”

“Depends, Maria, do you want to take credit for my complete failure here? ‘Cause for whatever reason I keep fucking it up.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

Alex raised his eyebrow skeptically, “Do you?”

“Yeah, you’re right, I forgot what a disaster you are,” Maria teased gently. “I mean you have a good job, you have amazing friends if I do say so myself, you’re the kindest person I know. And your face isn’t half bad either. So you have a few walls to climb, who doesn’t? Alex, you are worth the effort here.”

“He hates my job, and he really hates that I signed a new contract.” Alex tipped his bottle to finish the last swallows. Dully he looked down at the bottle cap pressed tightly between his fingertips, “My walls are pretty high, here. I either hold back on him, or I get scared and push him away, which means I’m either pissing him off or hurting his feelings. It’s no wonder he wants-” He stopped, leaving the rest of the thought unfinished.

“Being afraid of being hurt or rejected is normal. Life has taught you a lot of reasons why you need to protect yourself and if you’d share that with him, I’m sure he would understand.” She reached up to touch her necklace absently, before sighing. “I admit, I wasn’t thrilled when he told me you re-upped.”

“Not you too, Maria.”

“You were so close to being out-”

“I can’t leave until the job is done-”

“Please, that’s the kind of thinking that has kept us in Afghanistan for twenty years.”

A beat passed between them before Alex cracked a disbelieving smile at her sarcastic reply. “Did you just compare me to Donald Rumsfeld?”

Maria covered her mouth, as she started to laugh with him. “I mean, maybe? You have much better hair though, or at least you did. There’s only so much product can do to fix that boring flat top.”

“Thanks,” Alex replied drily, as he reached upward to his hair out of reflex. Maria giggled as he belatedly brought his hand away from his head. “My ego is safe with you around.”

“See? You need me around, you’d be lost without me.” Her smile widened with fondness, the old comfort of teasing each other over having high maintenance hair habits settling in naturally. This time, her words landed awkwardly into the air and her smile slowly dropped away. Her eyes grew bright and glassy in the warm light from the two floor lamps. The atmosphere between them changed again, as the unsaid pressed against them impatiently, nagging for their attention.

Alex dropped his eyes to the floor again. The words in his throat were tangled, as he wished one more time that he didn’t feel like this with Maria. He was caught in the rough current of feeling jealous and angry while being tossed against his ever-present pillars of self-loathing.  

“What are we going to do?” Maria asked forwardly. She was braver than him like usual. “Are we ever going to get past this? I mean, I can pretend some more if you want-”

“God, that’s all I do these days, pretend, so maybe it’s best if we don’t.” He licked his lower lip, registering the dry chapped feeling from his nervous chewing. “I pretend with Michael, I pretend at work, and I don’t want to have to pretend with you, Maria.”

“I don’t think you’re pretending with Michael,” she pointed out, in a no-nonsense tone. Her eyes lost their sharp focus as her face reflected the changeover from friendly observation to a psychic read. “Unless you’re pretending that friendship is going to be enough for you. You love him and you’re not getting over him, and you’re sabotaging yourself with him because you’re afraid. You’re afraid that friendship is enough for him.”

The air in the room felt thin to Alex. He closed his eyes, and placed his hand on his chest to count the rapid beat of his pulse. The black spots in his eyes swam in front of him, and he blinked several times to clear his vision. “I thought he had already made his choice. But then living together, pretending that we never broke up- It’s complicated now. Messy. And I’m afraid if I really ask, he’ll tell me the same thing he did before, that love isn’t enough. That it’s too much baggage to get past and he won’t choose me.”

****

From chapter 19:

Michael closed his eyes, as a tear slipped down his cheek and turned his face into Alex’s touch, as he whispered roughly, “Losing her, my mom like that, I didn’t want to be known by anyone. Not by Max, and not by you.” He lifted his face away, his eyes still wet as his smile wobbled, “That’s why you found me at the Wild Pony.”

“I figured,” Alex replied, his throat tight.

“I know now that I hurt you by doing that. It’s a fucking weak excuse to tell you that I really didn’t think you would care. ‘Cause it doesn’t change the fact you did.”

“Michael.” He started to tell him that it was fine. That he understood. Except on one level, as much as they had laid out the pain and wounds that had been exchanged between them, some targeted, some merely shrapnel from outside forces, there was the unavoidable fact that it wasn’t fine. Discarding the emotions of it, which he was never going to find comfort with, Alex fell into the cold facts of what happened. “I wasn’t what you needed then, or wanted. And that’s okay. You are allowed to make that choice for yourself. You went through something unimaginably terrible, how could I begrudge you for turning to someone who made that a little better for you?”

The hurt miserable laugh that escaped from Michael as he pressed his lips against Alex’s palm in a kiss, sent a chill down Alex’s spine.

“You were exactly what I needed after Caulfield, Alex. You make everything, fucking everything, in my miserable life better. This whole month, every minute of it, you made me feel whole. I can take a full breath because of you. I am okay, and that’s so much more than I deserve to be. And I tried to fight it, especially early on when I was a dick to you, but as it turns out, hurting you so I could make myself miserable isn’t worth it.”

Alex was frozen, his hand still against Michael���s face as he worked to understand just what he had said. The first three thoughts circled back to Michael still being drunk, or perhaps this was delayed gratitude for helping keep them safe from the police investigation. For all that Michael spoke of not feeling like he deserved to feel okay, it was shockingly clear in Alex’s mind he shared that same sentiment. Their broken pieces were shattered on the same fault lines, not necessarily the mirror opposite that would fit together in the same way.

Michael kissed his thumb softly, looking up at him, “I can see by your face you are having a hard time believing me. If you let me do this, open up the bond print, you’ll get it. You’ll see that as nice as Maria is, she doesn’t have nearly the power you do. You’ll feel what I feel. Um, just what I feel, if you’re worried about your privacy. This is a one-way street.”

There was a brief moment of disappointment for Alex hearing that, but the lure of Michael’s offer was too strong to deny. “Okay. Do it.”

“Yeah?” Michael smiled brilliantly as he sat in bed, and gently pressed Alex back on the mattress. He spread his palm flat on Alex’s chest, directly over his heart, its beat strong and quick beneath the touch. Michael’s eyes flickered down at his hand and then to Alex’s tense gaze, his lips quirking with shy pleasure at what was about to happen. “Merry Christmas.”

Michael’s hand didn’t change in temperature, even as a red glow started to build in his palm. It was reminiscent of how his mother had communicated in those last doomed moments at Caulfield. And like that too-short interval from before, there was no pain on Michael’s face, just rapturous joy.

Alex stored that snap shot of Michael’s face, looking so unbelievably happy, away in the place he hoarded his good memories.

It was the last clear thought he had.

Oh. It was a lot.

His therapist had warned him a long time ago that trauma had changed his brain patterns forever. It wasn’t just psych jargon to understand that his electrical pathways of experiencing pleasure and joy were forever altered after his childhood. His doctor had argued to him that comparative MRIs would prove it. The therapeutic homework of practicing pleasure and reacquainting his body to positive feelings had been taken with a dose of skepticism. Michael had always made him feel okay in receiving and giving pleasure, but later Alex realized it wasn’t necessarily the comfort of sex that was the issue, it was happiness.

Michael loved him.

It washed all over his mind, like standing under a waterfall. The torrential press of love, joy, peace beat down on the brittle feelings of shame, of self-hatred, of feeling like Alex had been made wrong in some way right from the start, after all, why didn’t his father love him?

Michael loved him.

Water was the most destructive and most transformative force on earth. It was relentless. It sought out cracks, pouring into the hollows while it filled the caverns. Once inside, if needed, it could freeze and expand, to break down defenses, until the path was clear. It nurtured with the same unstoppable power, feeding the roots, nourishing the parched throats, cleansing the wounds and washing away the filth.

Michael loved him.

It was infinite. It was one thing to know it intellectually, after all, Michael had said it once to him, present tense and all. This connection made Alex feel ashamed, because now he knew he had never really believed it. It wasn’t Michael’s fault though; the core truth was Alex had made it 28 years believing he was the issue, that he was unlovable. Any words that Michael had said, Alex had dismissed as something shallow, or perhaps the result of a trick.

The connection battered at that belief until Alex had to discard it as false.

****

From chapter 21

There was a moment when he thought Michael would break away, he could feel Michael take a deep breath, his chest heaving in effort before he tipped forward into Alex’s body, a mirror of Alex’s earlier collapse. He caught Micheal’s weight easily, and held him securely.

“I really want to scream right now, just so you know,” Michael warned with a low voice in Alex’s ear. “I don’t want to be mad at you, but I’m fuckin’ mad.”

“You can be mad at me,” Alex offered weakly, keeping his arms around Michael.

“I really can’t, Alex,” Michael huffed a humorless laugh, “you tried to pick a fight five minutes ago about Maria, and I saw your face when you got here, you were totally white. You didn’t expect this reveal to go well, did you?”

Alex hummed a little in his throat, acknowledging Michael’s point without argument. He thought about the file that had his father’s request for testing when he was a child and locked down his feelings on it to deal with later. “It’s not all terrible news to report though. If the pod responds to intent, then we should have Liz and I guess Kyle, meet us at the cave so we can see what it might be doing to Max in the meantime. See if there’s any readings we can gather.”

Michael moved his warm hands up to cup Alex’s face, the fabric wrap on his left hand rasping lightly as he gently moved Alex back to meet his eyes. “I’m sure Liz was thinkin’ about saving Max, but he’s not the only one in a pod. What were you thinkin’ when you put your dad in there?”

“Honestly?”

“Uh yeah, of course.”

Alex smiled grimly, “I was thinking how good it felt to choke him out and finally win a fight. I was thinking he got to see my face as darkness took him, the way I used to see his face when I was a kid. And I hoped he was scared. I hoped he felt small and powerless.”

“God, I hope so too. I hope the pod is making him relive that non-stop,” Michael breathed fiercely as he tightened his hold on Alex for a moment, then he leaned in to capture his lips in a deep, hungry kiss. Alex opened under his mouth easily, surrendering to Michael as he backed him against the parked Bronco. He pushed his fingers into Alex’s short hair, pressing against Alex’s body as Alex’s tongue stroked firmly against his.

The warning burn in Alex’s lungs was the only thing that brought the kiss to an end, as he sucked in a gulp of air, the taste of Michael and a hint of beer still on his lips. “As much as I want to continue that, um, you should finish up here so we can make a plan with Liz and Kyle.”

“You’re lucky my trailer is at the cabin, otherwise you and me and a horizontal surface-”

****

Also from chapter 21

The warmth of Michael scooted up against his back as his arms snaked around Alex’s chest. He pressed his lips against Alex’s neck and offered softly in his ear, “Listen, if this is…. If this is something in your head, I can help with that. If you want.”

Anticipation and pleasure lit up briefly through the agony as Alex followed the train of thought to Michael’s offer and remembered Christmas Eve. It was beyond tempting but being back on active duty made that an impossibility. With regret, he shook his head, “No bond print, too risky.”

“Nah, not that, but I could go inside your mind, and um, persuade you that what you’re feeling isn’t real.”

“Oh,” Alex breathed. Michael inside his head, seeing his thoughts, seeing just how messed up Alex was, not that he couldn’t already guess it from the outside. The cramping seemed to intensify as he debated, from what felt like a stabbing feeling from the ball of his foot, to a deep burn into the arch of his instep, traveling up his right leg. “Yeah, okay, do it.”

Michael licked his lips at the acceptance and took a deep breath. He shifted in bed again until Alex faced him. He brought his palm up, to cup Alex’s cheek gently, meeting his eyes. Alex blinked heavily at the touch, tears from the pain slipping down his face as Michael brushed the wetness away with his thumb with love.

Then.

Then it was warm and bright. Michael was the joy of a perfectly played note, the pitch and harmony of Alex’s favorite song, slipping into his mind to curl around him. The percussion of matched heart beats, thundering in time together. The vibration of strings, dancing across two keys, one high and soprano, one low and deep.

That was Michael in Alex’s mind.

Alex though, Alex was a crumpled ball of paper. The painstaking drawing, scratched out in eraser marks and errant ink blots. The brush strokes of a self-portrait imperfectly translated from three dimensions to a flat disappointing two. Discarded and tightly balled up, waiting to be tossed into the trash.

Then.

Teasing at the edges, Michael picked at and pulled at the scrapped drawing, the furrowed shell of Alex. With infinite care, he worked to flatten out the wrinkles and to smooth the creases. This wasn’t a failed attempt; this was a work of art, worthy of being framed. He laid out love, ironing out the perceived imperfections, until the crushed bits, and worn notches were treasured marks of strength and experience. These weren’t deficiencies to reject, or blemishes to trash but well tested symbols of armor worthy of protection.

Then.

Alex blinked again, and swallowed down the sob pressing at the edges of his throat waiting to erupt as the pain was gone. Inside his head, every small scrape and cut was calm and soothed. Michael had wrung the tension from his mind and body, leaving him loose and shapeless.

“Better?” Michael asked, his hand still on Alex’s face.

“Yeah, much.” Alex licked his lower lip, his mouth dry. “Is that, is that really how you see me?”

An enraptured look slipped over Michael’s face as his eyes grew dark, “You are a work of art, Alex. You’re beautifully made, inside and out. I wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

Blushing, he had to look away, unable to meet the intensity in Michael’s gaze. “I think you’re crazy.”

“You’re the crazy one for not seeing it, but I know why you can’t believe me.” Michael’s expression saddened as he turned to catch Alex’s eyes, “He is wrong about you. He was wrong when you were a kid, and he’s wrong now.”

“Ah, you saw it. What my dad wanted to do.” Alex pressed his lips together tightly, and sighed.

“Yeah, I saw it.” Tension grew in Michael’s grip, as he moved his hand down Alex’s shoulder to his chest, pressing his hand against the rising beat of Alex’s heart. “He is a monster, and it’s his loss that he could find anything in you that was deserving of hate, but sweetheart,” Michael’s voice broke briefly, “it breaks my heart that you might agree with him on any level. Your body, the way you love, how you love, it’s all part of what makes you, you.” He paused, before finishing with a thick voice, “And I love you. You should love you too.”

“I’m trying, Michael,” Alex leaned in to kiss his lips gently, “I’m trying really hard to do that.” He let Michael deepen the kiss, sighing at the care Michael used in touching him, like he was that precious work of art he’d glimpsed in Michael’s thoughts.

“Don’t be ashamed of this,” Michael whispered, his mouth hovering over Alex’s.

Alex shook his head, and leaned up to trade another kiss, “I’m not, not anymore. Well, not most days. I’m working on it.”

Michael smiled in response at Alex’s honesty, “Good, anytime you need a reminder, let me know. We can fight those demons together, darlin’. Speaking of, how’s the pain?”

Stretching his right leg out, he rubbed his stump against Michael’s leg, and sighed in relief at the motion. “Gone.”

****

All self-indulgent clips.

#personal stuff #the writing process is tough #just reminding myself that I can do this #self-promotion sorry #oh hello imposter syndrome nice to see you #wip whine #ignore this as I give myself a pep talk

[ma-gic-gay]

"I'm sorry, what?" Carly asks when Olivia tells her the news. "You- repeat that, please."

"Jason has been shot. He's going to the hospital right now. I didn't get a good look at him or anyone, really, but I do know that he's not doing so hot right now. Go to GH, I'll handle everything tonight," Olivia repeats, urging her to leave. "Do you want me to call Sonny?"

"God no. I-I'll do it myself. Thank you," the blonde says, rushing to catch her breath and get to her purse, behind the bar. He's been shot. With a gun. This is exactly what she didn't want to happen to him. Dammit!

She doesn't have the time to fall apart, though, and calls Michael when she locates her phone in her purse. "Michael. Jason's been shot. I'm heading to GH right now," she rushes out before ending the call and fumbling for her keys.

Finally getting the keys, she sprints to her car and runs every red she sees, not caring about getting a ticket or whatever. The hospital's only a few minutes away, so she's able to get there in record time and runs in the doors, conveniently right at the time Michael shows up with an anxious Willow, Dante, Wiley, and Monica. "Mom, what's going on?"

"Jason got shot," she forces out, the realization of what happened sinking down on her like the way a bullet sinks into the skin.

That was a morbid metaphor.

"Where's Dad? Does he know what happened?" Michael asks impatiently. He's probably thinking about his personal experience with guns: He got shot and was in a coma for awhile.

"He's at home, I haven't told him yet," Carly sighs, processing.

"Why isn't he here? Jason's his best friend, Mom. Did Dad get shot too?" Michael continues to ask and she sighs again. Well, better now than never he finds out. Though this is incredibly unideal timing.

"No, he's fine. It's just that Sonny's not exactly thrilled with either Jason or me right now."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story," the blonde shakes her head quickly. "I want to tell you but right now we should all be focused on how Jason's doing and what his condition is."

"Carly?" Elizabeth asks, confused. "What are you doing here?'

"It's Jason. He, he's been shot," Carly manages to get out, her heart breaking again. That's the last time she ever wants to say those words. God, why couldn't he be a farmer or something, maybe a musician or a normal person with a mundane job?

Well, then again, if he was, Carly probably wouldn't have cared much about him. Normal people bore her, it's why she kept coming back to Sonny.

"He's been what?" Elizabeth asks. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know. All I know is we heard sirens outside of the Metro Court and Olivia went outside to figure out what was going on and then Jason was being loaded into an ambulance for a gunshot wound. He's not here yet?" Carly asks, containing her sobs and minor hatred for her.

"No, he's not. How did you get here faster than him?"

"May or may not have broken several traffic laws."

"We were at the hospital for Wiley's appointment," Michael says, gesturing to the clan of Q's and Dante with him.

"We have an ambulance coming in, gunshot wound to the chest!" Portia informs everyone and that's when the very first tear is shed from her. The chest? How the hell do you shoot someone in the chest in that parking garage? How didn't she think of this before, that someone could go and shoot them in plain sight; HER parking garage was a target too. Great. Just great.

The stretcher with him is rushed in and everything becomes blurry as she fights off the tears. Nope, not today. He is not dying today if she's got anything to say about it.

"Male, 48, GSW to the chest. Sats are staying roughly the same and BP is as well. Found him in his car. Apparently there might be a gunman running around town. Cops didn't find anything at the scene," the paramedic says quickly, rushing him into the nearest room.

"That's Jason," Willow gasps, gripping her husband's hand.

"Yes it is. And I bet I know who shot him, too! One of Cyrus's guys," Michael says and his mother can feel the anger coming off of him.

"Michael. Causing a scene won't help anything here. Let's just let them do their jobs and tell us what we need to know when we need to know it," Carly says uncharacteristically. She's never, ever calm when anyone gets into an accident like this.

"Carly, are you okay?" Dante questions his stepmom.

"No."

"I'm calling Sonny. No arguing," he says to her, walking away.

She gives herself a minute to collect her thoughts before thinking about how disastrous Dante calling Sonny is. For all they know, he gave the damm order!

Put some faith in the guy, Carly. He is your husband, after all.

That's how, twenty minutes later, Sonny ends up finally showing up at GH with Joss, who's clearly worried. By the looks of it, Sonny's been pretty damn loud with his rage. She just hopes he didn't scare her too bad. It takes a lot to rattle her mini me, though, and so this reaction is concerning.

"Mom, I need to talk to you for a minute," Joss asks, looking highly concerned.

"Sure, hon. Let's just wait for the doctors to tell us what's going on with Jason first, okay?" The blonde suggests to her daughter, who nods her agreement as Portia walks towards them.

"Jason has to be taken into surgery to remove the bullet. He has stabilized and that's a good sign. Carly, you have his power of attorney, right?" Portia asks and Carly nods. "Good. I'm going to need you to sign off on this paperwork for the surgery before we can actually dislodge the bullet."

Thankfully there's a pen attached to the clipboard Portia extends to her and so Carly signs off quickly, not even registering what she's signing. "Can we see him?"

Portia sighs, considering it. "We won't have the OR prepped for a few more minutes, so if you like, you can visit one at a time."

Not wasting another minute, Carly hands her the clipboard and walks into the room seeing the very disheartening sight of him going in and out of consciousness, groaning in pain. She sheds a few years and he notices her presence in the room. "Carly? What are you doing here?"

"You got shot," she answers simply.

"Yes, I did," he nods, confused.

"You're not allowed to die," she tells him firmly. "You simply cannot. I will not be okay if you do and I know that if I tell you that you'll fight harder. So I'm telling it to you as best I can, I won't be okay if you die. You put me through it once, and I will be damned if I let that happen again. You'll survive this, promise me."

"Carly," he sighs, "you know I can't make you that promise. I promise you that I'll do my best to survive this."

"Don't make me guilt trip you," she threatens playfully.

"I get the gist of it and need to get this bullet out of me, so please go so the doctors can save me and you can give me more headaches with your plans," he smiles at her before drifting out of consciousness again. Ugh.

"Fine," she agrees though she doesn't want to, "I'll agree to that. Don't you dare die on me though. I love you."

As she leaves the room, a single tear falls from her eyes that she quickly wipes away, putting on a brave face for the kids. "He's gonna make it out of this, I have faith he will," Dante assures her.

"Thanks. I needed that," Carly smiles at him. "Now, Joss, do you want to go talk about this somewhere else?"

"Yeah, please," the teenager agrees.

They walk away and as soon as they're out of earshot, Joss asks, "Did you and Jason kiss?"

That was... Direct. "Yes," Carly admits, studying her daughter's face for any sign of not being okay with it or anything else like that but instead notices there's a sigh of relief. What the hell?

Noting the expression on her mom's face, Joss says, "Sonny was losing his mind at home, he screamed about it. He was scaring Avery and Donna so I took them outside and had them play for a few minutes while he was losing it and went inside. He was drinking... Something, I couldn't tell, and I asked him what the hell he was doing. That was probably a dumb thing to do, though, because he started yelling at me about how I was going to hate you and that he needed to tell me before you two got to but then Dante called him and so we came here."

Carly engulfs her daughter in a hug at that, mama bear and Jason got shot rage all combining into one. Sonny's got good reason to be scared if he's not already. "Oh Joss, I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Sonny shouldn't have been drinking in the first place around you girls. Thank you, for taking your little sisters outside."

"Of course. I figured he's just angry about something, so when I found out we were going here I was happy he wasn't seeing things or off his lithium," Joss beans at her mom. "I don't want anything bad happening to Jason, of course, but I was scared, Mom. Scared of what he was gonna do."

"You have every right to that fear," she smiles at her. "When he gets like this, it's completely unacceptable behavior. I'm so sorry he did that to you. He had no right to scare your little sisters and you like that." He is so dead. No one messes with her kids.

"Please don't kill him," Joss jokes and Carly fakes a smile.

"I would never."

"Well, I think we've got the slightly more pressing matter of you being in love with a certain Jason Morgan to discuss," Joss smiles at her mom.

"God, Sonny really did tell all the story," Carly sighs. "Are you okay with all of this?"

"Mom," she rolls her eyes, "you're in love! This is a good thing! I'm happy for you two. Besides, you know we all love him. It's not like it'll be a huge adjustment until I move."

"Oh god, I haven't even thought of that yet," Carly sighs, pinching her temples.

"Sorry to wreck the party, but Sam's over there losing it," Monica tells them before excusing herself to go to the chapel.

"I have a headache already," Carly complains before walking to Sam. "Hey, Sam. May I ask why you're sobbing on the hospital floor?"

"Jason's been shot, Carly! Why aren't you sobbing and screaming and causing a scene?" Sam asks her.

"I know he's been shot, but I'm being strong for my kids and Monica and Willow. I've got plenty of time to fall apart and I'm barely not," she admits, "but it won't help anything. He's in surgery right now and the best thing you can do is go spend time with the kids. They need their mom."

"This is what I get for breaking up with him. He's in love with you and look at me, pathetically crying. God, this is so pathetic," Sam sighs, collecting herself after a minute. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"You were upset and lashed out. Trust me, out of you and Sonny he's the one I'd shoot first," Carly attempts to crack a smile.

Sam lets out a hollow laugh at that before leaving, confusing pretty much everyone. "Aren't her and Jason together? Why isn't she pacing the halls of GH with us?" Michael presses his mother and Sonny snaps.

"Your mother and him are in love or something disgusting like that," he says, shocking everyone. "Him and Sam have been over for a couple of weeks."

"Did-did-did he say love?" Michael stutters out, the first to collect himself enough to say that. "Like, romantically?"

"Yes," Carly admits. "Look, we can talk more about this later."

"Actually, I see this as the perfect time to talk about it," Sonny chimes in, smiling. "After all, Jason's in surgery for god knows how long and you've got nothing but time to explain to them what happened between you two today. Repeatedly."

"Oh my god, did you-" Dante starts, trailing off.

"No! God no, we did not sleep together," Carly answers quickly and Joss flicks him in the back of the head. Attagirl.

"Then what did you do?" Willow asks cautiously. Unlike everyone else here, this is her first big fight between Carly and Sonny to deal with.

"They kissed. In public. Where anyone who cared to dine at the Metro Court could see them," Sonny starts. "And them when I got upset, they both started defending each other to me and I ended up finding out that they're in love. My wife and my best friend, in love! Give it up for things I wasn't expecting this year!"

"Sonny that's enough," Joss starts in on her stepfather before Michael cuts in.

"Dad. Shut up. Mom's in love with Jason? This is a lot to wrap my head around so give me a minute," he urges of his unresponsive father.

"I'm not exactly hearing a thank you or a single- Ow, Joss, what the hell?" Sonny asks when she elbows him in the ribs.

"Stop talking down to my mom, first off, and second, don't be rude to Jason either. He's your business partner! You two have known each other forever!"

"Which is why this hurts so much, Josslyn! They've betrayed me," Sonny moans in pain when she elbows him yet again. Motherly pride fills Carly.

"Following your heart isn't betrayal, it's doing what you feel is best. It's listening to your heart no matter the consequences. You're supposed to be an adult, so start acting like one dammit! I'm embarrassed to be seen in public when you're throwing a temper tantrum so grow the hell up," Joss explains to him.

"Mom, you cheated on Dad? With Jason?" Michael asks, connecting the dots.

"Yes. I didn't mean to and I know it was wrong to do and I'm so sorry if this taints your view of either of us but it just happened so fast and," Carly gestures around the hospital. "Now we're here."

"I don't know what to feel," he admits.

"That's okay, Michael. Please, take your time to process this and work through your emotions. I'm sure you especially will have a lot of them," she smiles at her oldest son.

"Him especially?" Dante asks, confused.

"Jason raised me for the first couple years of my life and on and off since then, because Dad couldn't always do that. It's like I had two dads growing up. So this news kinda confuses me a lot and I've got lots of questions but I'm only with this," Michael dmes.

"You're siding with the?" Sonny snarls. "Really? After everything they put you through-"

"You shot me in the head and put me in a coma! They're not doing anything illegal and it's not my place to judge," Michael snaps at his father. "Joss is right, grow the hell up."

"I'm always right," she smiles at her big brother who pulls her in for a hug.

"Not always, but it happens on occasion," Michael teases her and she gently slaps his arm. "Where the hell did you learn how to hit like that?"

"I took self defense classes from Jason."

"Of course you did," Michael sighs at his sister's antics. "For when you start a massive fight."

"Ooh, good idea," she teases him.

Sonny interrupts the moment. "Hey you two, you're on her side in all of this?"

"Yes, we are, because you scared our little sisters into making me take them outside so they wouldn't have to hear you screaming. They lost their minds and they didn't know what happened to you. Honestly, neither do I!" Joss exclaims.

This is providing a good distraction from the whole Jason's having surgery thing right now, but that doesn't mean it's not at the front of everyone's mind. Everyone except Sonny, it seems, and that in and of itself is suspicious to Carly. They don't know who ordered the hit on him yet.

Too much complicated.

To be continued

:,)

[skullsnsunbeams]

Please enjoy the first part of my commentary of Outer Banks. I'm going to post eps. 6 through 10 in a second post so as to keep within the text limit. Disclaimer: I started this show because I wanted to see what all the hype was; I won't lie, I thought it was dumb and cliche throughout most of it. However, since I've finished I can safely say that I NEED A SECOND SEASON BC HOLY FUCK BRO. Don't come at me for MY OPINIONS, & also, most of what I say is in the spur of the moment. If you wanna come talk to me about the show I will GLADLY DO SO

Ep 1:

• Ragtag group of friends, including a girl that the 3 other guys wanna bang, and she's also a rich girl but she "doesn't fit in" with that crowd so she hangs with the down and out guys

• "Kid from the wrong side of the tracks falls for rich girl"

• A 27 year old playing a teenager, the usual

• One of the main guys in this is HOT

• In a basic white dude way

• He's the asshole bad boy of the show and I want him to BRB THERE'S A FIGHT

• I bet he's a genuine good guy tho

• HE'S A DUMBASS SO NOW I'M IN LOVE

• ADINA PORTER

• The main protagonist looks like james from BTR

• His face is too small for his head

• His best friend (JJ?) moaned about 20 minutes in and I haven't been the same since

• I have to watch ep 2 to decide if I'm gonna genuinely enjoy this or hate watch

Ep. 2

• I'm getting Flight 29 Down vibes

• The narration is kinda, too much? Like if I need to be guided by it, that means the writers didn't do such a good job

• "wHaT dO yOu KnOw AbOuT tHe CoMpAsS!?"

• This Sarah chick is fucking annoying

• Annoying rich bitch wants attention and she's fucking so fucking CLICHE

• This little sister is FUCKING AGGRAVATING

• We got our sleezy bad guys, ofc

• "Ratter" ooof course that's his name

• THEY'RE STEALING SHIT

• HE JUST KILLED A CHICKEN

• I'm literally crying right now AHAHAHAH fuck

• Sarah's douche bf has HIGHLIGHTS

• His name is Topper which I ironic bc he's def a bottom

• SO FUCKING CLICHE AND I HATE IT SO MUCH AND I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT IT???

• THIS KID HAS A HACKEY SACK WHAT KINDA 2000s MOVIE IS THIS

• Why is this so dramatic

• Like for whaaaaat

• There was ONE kiss and now I wanna make out with someone wtf quarantine is killing me

• John B. is growing on me

• Curse me being for a White Man's Whore

• Oh no Ward is HOT

• Please let him turn out to be a decent man bc I don't trust rich white men as far as I can throw em

• John B runs weird????

• OHP THERE'S OUR BADDIES

• Cue Poppy's Voicemail

• My mom just came in and asked me to tone it down but I told her it's not in my nature and she said " *sigh* I know"

• FUCK THE POLICE

• don't give it to her John B

• ACAB

• I knew he wouldn't be able to give it up, we wouldn't have a show then!

• "Back in the friend zone" I'm hollering

• A snake!

• "Stop barking at the snakes" JJ IS SO DUMB

• And now Kie is going into the grave

Ep. 3

• There would be spiders everywhere realistically

• THESE DUDES ARE EVERYWHERE BRO

• Ah it's just grave diggers

• JJ. Is so. Dumb.

• Fuck bro I'm cryin

• Pope is an angel

• Sarah needs to shut up

• Her sister also needs to shut up

• TO THE BIG KAHUNA

• Is JJ wearing a shark tooth necklace

• ONLY 900 FEET

• Dumb idiot bitch is vomiting too calmly

• This kid, Rafe? Annoying and useless

• Sarah's brother???

• HE BOUGHT A MOTORCYCLE WITH THE GENERATOR MONEY WHAT A PRIVILEGED CUNT

• He's a drug dealer, ofc he is

• ANOTHER CLICHE

• Creepy security guard. Wonderful.

• Always gotta help the young pretty girl

• JJ lying about being abused, or is he really? Either way it's lowkey smart

• HE'S LYING. HIS FAKE CRYING? BELIEVABLE. KUDOS TO YOU, JJ

• That is a human hand

• They're gonna get hurt lmao

• Yayo? Tf is yayo? Some slang for coke?

• I googled it, it's Spanish slang for cocaine lmaoooo I'm dumb

• TOPPER SAID I LOVE YOU AND SARAH DIDN'T SAY IT BACK

• Mmmmmm love when guys get MAD because she took back her yes!!!

• "Tastes like bananas"

• I don't like this kid but I feel bad that he was pressured into this

• POPE LIKES KIE

• Dead bodies oh yeah

• AND THE THUNDER ROLLS

• Ofc Rafe is causing problems

• I think Topper isn't so bad and may just be a product of his environment

• Nevermind FUCK HIM FOR HURTING POPE

• Those surfing shots are cool

• Little fishies

• Pope is so cute and adorable

• THAT'S A BIG STORM

• Uh uh, no thank you

• They're gonna lose the camera

• Do you ever have anxiety

• Oh shiiiit there she is

Ep. 4

• John B has pretty freckles

• "On what grounds?" "On solid grounds, on holy grounds" (ON THE GROUNDS OF BROOKLYN, YOUR HONOR)

• Wait how old is he, even?

• HE DO BE RUNNIN

• Poor Jorge

• That was a very fake jump

• "That's not ideal" he's such a goob

• "Why is this my fault?" "Because it usually is." Oof

• Rafe just said Pope needs to take some personal responsibility. IS HE LISTENING TO HIMSELF? THE IRONY

• This bitch.....is putting rubbing alcohol on the wound? Not peroxide?

• He slapped her hand I'm crying

• I'm sorry but bitches need to mind their business

• I S2G IF THEY HURT POPE I WILL END THEM

• This is so messy

• Why did I think she was gonna flash the guy

• Rafe def likes Kie

• "It might go down tonight" I love this over dramatic shit

• Ward was poor once too, wah wah

• John B is going crazy

• Well the sharks didn't do shit

• Ofc they're going shopping

• "I'll sugar mama you"

• This is actually funny, but I can feel the tension

• "You almost killed him HAHAHAHAH" shut the fuck up you pussy bitch

• Aw he shook the librarian's hand what a good bub

• Of course the stupid rich mom wants to press charges

• FUCK THIS IS BULLSHIT

• JJ I LOVE YOU

• YOU'RE DUMB BUT I LOVE YOU

Ep. 5

• So there was a kiss. Nice.

• JJ's dad is gonna beat his ass and Susan is gonna feel bad

• YUP THERE IT IS. THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD.

• I wanna hug JJ so bad

• Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

• DIRTY COPS

• AW THAT HUG, THAT SMOOCH. I LOVE JJ AND POPE

• I hope Rafe d*es

• The dude who plays Topper is a good actor

• JJ IS SO DUMB I LOVE HIM

• Denmark Tanny was a G

• John B do B lyin

• Ward knows, ofc he fucking knows

• A SAFE BEHIND THE PAINTING

• OH MY GOD WARD WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED THOSE GUYS

• ahhhh drinking and driving love it

• Topper is about to do some moronic shit

• She's not there, she did the pillows under the covers trick

• OH NO IT'S HER SISTER

• "I'm not a jealous guy" sure

• He's spilling his heart out rn

• HE'S LYING TO KIE'S FACE

• Ofc Wheezie snitched, again

• Topper looks like he's gonna murder someone

• BRO HE JUST FELL????

• Did your "short fuse" make you murder those dudes?

• He's gonna be a KOOK

• UH UH, WARD IS SUS

#emily rambles #emily watches #outer banks #obx #outer banks spoilers #obx spoilers #netflix outer banks #outer banks netflix #netflix original #netflix original series #obx liveblog #obx lb #sorta

[vaguely-concerned]

TEMERAIRE LET’S READ: BLOOD OF TYRANTS, THE WILLIAM LAURENCE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT NG+ SPEEDRUN

- oh NO LAURENCE D:D:D:

I do love that one of his first realizations is that he’s definitely not dutch tho lol this dumbass remembered that he was english before he remembered his own name

- caught between OH NO TEMERAIRE (and it’s only page 9 it’s going to be one of those books huh) and laughing my ass off at the thought of him swooping into notoriously isolationist japan and yelling ‘HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY DAD???’

- “Yes,” [Laurence] said, unyielding, as he could not be otherwise. ahahahahaha way to summarize the entirety of old school!laurence with one fucking sentence

(I am very much enjoying this uh. ‘setback’ of his character actually? novik really did just roll him back to factory settings and went ‘now... from the top again, let’s see if you’ve been paying attention these last seven books’ haha. no one told me there’d be a test!!!!!!!!!!)

- Kaneko really has the patience and graciousness of a saint, @ laurence please... please try to be marginally less sketchy hm? (I guess his sheer obliviousness to how direly he comes across here must be why kaneko hasn’t dismissed him out of hand)

- y’know... at least laurence is in no position to have to worry about all this shit temeraire and the others are pulling. when people start talking about black-scaled celestials shaking the country to its very foundations he’ll be blissfully, innocently unaware. that’s something, I suppose... well who am I kidding we’ll 100% get a couple of paragraphs of him convincing himself this is all his fault somehow anyway

- . . . and His Majesty’s Government does not behave in such an underhanded a manner as to attack another nation with no warning or quarrel. aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh what a strange beautiful fantasy land you’ve been residing in for most of your life william laurence, hang on tight for the opium wars

- hahaha oh my god this is like a platonic version of that text post

temeraire: have you guys seen my dad??!?!

them: what does he look like?

temeraire, crying: beautiful and human and has gold buttons

- I take it all back old school laurence is such a tremendous idiot. just PRETEND you’re willing to cooperate at least you huge fuckign dummy, all you’d have to do was say something vague about how the ship can’t get too close to shore; it won’t actually help them and they’ll know it but you won’t make yourself look so unspeakably willfully suspicious

-  :( making me read things where temeraire is just hurting should be ILLEGAL actually

- NO LAURENCE STOP TRYING TO KICK LITERALLY EVERY POLITICAL HORNET’S NEST WITHIN REACH BAD BOY he is... a disaster but I love him and fear for him as a son so here I am anyway

- hahahahaha yeah wow laurence it sure would suck if you ever had to commit treason huh death probably would be preferable indeed

b o i

- i like that it took him like a week to even give a single thought to edith lol at least he remains aggressively himself

- I think temeraire basically just invented dragon baby photos and I can’t even think for how darling it is

also every dragon physician is delightful; they fear neither god, man nor huge ass patients who could swallow them in a bite

aw man I love gong su

- ahahahahahahah kiyo is the actual best I can’t breathe

KANPAI INDEED, MY LADY, MY LIEGE, I DON’T CARE WHAT ELSE HAPPENS I WOULD FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH

Laurence was forced to at least moisten his lips in a show of accompaniment, and hope that he had indeed buried Caesar and not praised him, or for that matter raised him from the dead one act too soon; he was not perfectly sure. He did not think he had been this appallingly drunk since he had been a boy of twelve, trying to make good on every toast at his captain’s table. I. am. dying

thank you thank you thank you for the mental image of laurence drunkenly trying to stumble through the ‘friends, romans, countrymen’ speech as well as the entire rest of the play in a one-man performance

- oh no... I would die for junichiro, baby boy who loves his teacher SO MUCH ;____________; aaaaand there are laurence’s adoption instincts, I see, right on time <3 I like how they have had one actual conversation now and laurence is like ‘ah well nothing for it then guess you’ll have to stay on my ship and I’ll have to be your dad now, brash 16 year old child’

junichiro is being Full Teenager about laurence not knowing ~*obvious*~ things and it’s a delight

- y’know this period of japanese history is always portrayed in the west as paranoia and it could probably only be done because the country was a strict military dictatorship at the time... but having read oh, any history book ever, deciding that nope nah don’t think so no europeans ever is the greatest ‘fair enough’ in human history.  (...I guess this series is sort of AU fix it fic of the period in the first place haha)

- seeing temeraire this level of straight out angry is very interesting and also very unsettling

- ooooof whenever laurence almost-remembers temeraire... stab me in the heart why don’t you

- man churki really is the mom friend of these dragons she’s the only one who has a lick of sense

- *laurence, upon clobbering several men with an oar* “Ma’am, I beg your pardon,” Laurence said to the old woman, who was still sitting ramrod-straight in the ferry over the side from him and regarding him with a flat expression of utter disapproval and not the least evidence of fear; he put out a boot over the side and shoved the ferry off with a heave

god this book is just a continual parade of glorious mental images, just this old woman glaring at him like ‘RUDE’ and “Ma’am, I beg your pardon” fdslfhsdlkjh

- I have a lot of sympathy for hammond. imagine having to navigate the extremely delicate diplomatic situation between europe and japan, with the real prospect of a war breaking out over it, while temeraire is looking over your shoulder... real dragon in the glassware shop vibe going on here, i’m sorry about your life hammond

- AUGH laurence just sort-of-remembered emily he just half-remembered he basically has a daughter someone hold me (...junichiro is so so sweet ;___;)

- bwahahaha yeah I’m sure the only reason this impressionable young kid who’s slowly becoming very impressed by you has for sneaking glances at your bare chest is manly appreciation of your battle scars laurence, well done (I mean a supremely understandable innocent teen crush to develop but stay safely out of that, kid; I trust tharkay to survive the sheer field of mayhem around this man only because he’s got like 20 years, extreme competency and a world of cynicism on you)

- aw junichiro :(:(:(

- ...laurence you need to stop making your dragon boi think you’re dead because this is hurting me. my heart lies in sad little pieces on the ground right now. you are stepping on them with tapdancing shoes.

- “I am under an obligation to Junichiro,” [Laurence] said, quietly, “who you must know has aided me for love of you. If I surrender myself and am made prisoner in this way, will your honor be satisfied?”

fdsfhsdkfsdja  *ELMO SURROUNDED BY FLAMES GIF* this is all awful they’re all such good people why must this happen why this  

(what a way to remind me why I love this stupid wonderful man so much tho uuuuuugh)

- “He is a prince of China, and my captain.” “The devil I am,” said Laurence. This might be the funniest heartbreak I have ever experienced

- good job making me cry whenever I read the words ‘principia mathematica’ naomi novik that was real nice of you

- maximus is such a solid bro. not the brightest, but by god a good 80% of that boy’s gigantic body mass is pure heart

- I love the sheer trollishness of just dropping all these hints about whatever’s going on in the US and then moving on like nothing has happened lol at least it’s deeply implied that hamilton squandered his chances at the presidency by pulling his dumb hoe act in this universe too... constants and variables friends constants and variables

- bOY for a moment there I really did wonder if junichiro was going to die, thank god for a quick google to stop my heart from leaping up my throat and out into thin air to shatter yet again on the flagstones beneath

- in unrelated news I recently found out a bit more about the whole historical Situation in Australia at the beginning of Tongues of Serpents (incidentally, by reading Mark Forsyth’s ‘A Short History of Drunkenness’, which is very funny and quite interesting although I can personally testify that the chapter about vikings at least is completely riddled with misunderstandings or straight out factual errors about the mythology, the role of women in society and uh the entirety of how poetry worked so maybe take him with a pinch of salt lol), and now, in retrospect, I have to say Novik does a poor job conveying the sheer hilarity and madness going on at that time. Like. I was quite bored in those first few chapters, whenever Tharkay didn’t have page time. how could you make this incredible spectacular shitshow boring. it should have been easy comedy gold and not just like. misery. oh well great times, let’s return to the book at hand

- I remain utterly devoted to Lady Kiyo. livin’ life, drinking sake, giving no fucks, absentmindedly scoping out the western style ships and starting an entire modern navy for her country, getting some Theater up in here.... truly I would follow her into the jaws of hell itself, safely in the knowledge that she’d find some way to have a good time down there

- kaneko tearing up at laurence promising he’ll take care of junichiro 😭 this is so cruel to me, personally, specifically against my person, I am undone

- I like how the incan dragons are told like ‘don’t pick just one special person; you can love all your humans equally’ while the poor japanese ones are told ‘actually don’t love any of your humans very much at least not more than Honour’ lol they must have so many neurotic dragons running about b/c that when that attachment happens it seems extremely central to their psychology (and considering lady arikawa it’s not like they’re exempt from it, they’re just supposed to repress it to conform)

- laurence desperately trying to work out whether emily’s his daughter without actually asking anyone... delicious

the descriptions of roland’s letters: even more delicious

- temeraire sees the sad remnants of laurence’s robes and ‘hello darkness my old frieeeeend’ starts playing in his head... too bad laurence isn’t really in a position to experience the relief

- He is very much a one-note character, but O’Dea’s resolute dedicated fatalism is extremely funny

- hahaha poor temeraire... when you try to introduce bae to the family and they insist on being TOTALLY EMBARRASSING god

- The guilt of having caused pain to one deserving only consideration at his hand mingled with unanswered disquiet. I’m bawling laurence’s dad instincts are so pure and good even tho everything’s a bit messed up right now. like this whole paragraph is so powerful b/c you can see laurence’s natural loving impulse at war with his dad’s cold authoritarian parenting style and because his lived experience is removed he doesn’t know what is right.............. oh b o y

- oh okay I see my earlier comment about the opium wars proves unexpectedly prophetic

- it cannot be overstated how much I love junichiro or how happy I am that laurence is being so soft and patient with him. this kid has Been Through some shit

- emily roland shoulder to shoulder with laurence killing fools and he never doubts her for a moment... *chef kiss emoji*  

- the problem with these books is that there are just so many good characters and so many of them don’t get any real page time in any given one -- I’m sitting here plaintively like ‘I realize this is not the most pressing issue right now but how is demane and sipho doing. are they okay. does sipho have enough books’

- ouch memory loss isn’t stopping laurence from flashing back to victory of eagles :(

there’s something so disconcerting about knowing why laurence reacts to things the way he does when he doesn’t; novik is using that very efficiently, this is a very satisfying use of amnesia just from a writer’s POV haha

- I like how none of these suckers really have the tools (or in some cases even inclination) to understand how messed up junichiro’s political situation is in all this

they just expect him to come home to britain with them and meanwhile he’s just found out that The greatest threat to his nation (from his POV I mean china/japan relations irl seem uh complicated) has more dragons in one field than he’s ever seen in his life. it’s a rough and lonely deal being this kid in this book

- oh ouch yes hey there laurence there might have been... a little bit of treason. true. extremely justified treason tho. I mean. oh dear

we don’t have tharkay and his unique mix of deep cynicism, incisive sarcasm and surprising depth of concise moral clarity here to assist with the aftermath so this could get  u g l y

- listen what did I SAY about making me read about temeraire being miserable     :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

- SIPHO!! hey baby boy pls have some thought for your brother’s cardiac health tho

- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw the fact that laurence is getting out of this crisis so much quicker this time because of his bone-deep instinctual knowledge of how much he loves temeraire, which doesn’t need specific memories to be true and felt. god. jesus. stars above

- laurence: approaches little

little: gay panic

- [Laurence] groped after the truth of himself like a prisoner in Plato’s cave, watching shadows. *clenches fist with great emotion* fuck naomi novik why must you be such an excellent goddamn writer im in pain

- oh hay arkady

poor poor temeraire feeling like a failure in every way is so awful but also kind of funny. ‘oh shit arkady’s egg oh fuck oh crap’

- I LOVE that hammond is so clearly and repeatedly shown to be a very astute political thinker and working shit out before everyone else! he may be a dumbass and a bit of a weasel but by god he’s great at what he does!

- laurence wouldn’t have changed anything if he could u guise. I . that. hm. oh

- thARKAY

.........arkady I am only a human and a small one at that but I will find some way to climb up there and wring your neck

(how cute is it that apparently jane roland realized she needed someone to find laurence and was like ‘well I need someone who can take care of themselves and knows the area and speaks dragon and Understands the chaotic ways of william laurence and also has looked uncharacteristically like a kicked puppy at the very mention of his name ever since being forced to leave him behind in australia.... hey tharkay you want a job’ fhkjshdfkalhsd)

- I’m very glad I googled ahead and spoiled myself a bit on this, because if I just read this part fresh I would have expired on the spot

- MISSION GET MY BOY BACK SAFE FOR GOD’S SAKE is a go

- general chu is pretty cool for an old dude you feel me

- . . . and Laurence knew him; knew him and knew himself.

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahhha

haha

what... what pure undiluted soulmate nonsense is this. what. how. WHY would you do this

- I think I said something offhandedly in my victory of eagles reactions about how tharkay makes laurence remember who he is. I. thought I was exaggerating slightly for dramatic effect at the time. um wow

- I am having the sort of feelings about I need to write fiction about because my ability to express it any other way is failing me. That’s just about the highest praise I could give, really, Novik sure knows how to plant interesting seeds in her stories lol

- for the record this is not how I wanted him to end up in laurence’s bed

(im not thinking too much about how he got hurt b/c if I do I’ll start crying and that’ll just be embarrassing for everyone)

- “I hope you will forgive my mentioning it, Will,” Tharkay said, eventually, rousing Laurence from his reverie. “ -- I recognize there is a certain pot-calling quality to my doing so under the circumstances, but have you noticed that the top of your head appears likely to come off?”

a) my love for him is just. so pure. so complete. so deep b) consistent first name basis; the one sure way to make me swoon c) the implication that he’s just been quietly watching laurence while he was lost in thought... im so soft

- oh god laurence very gently helping out demane and roland because he remembers now....... i cry and my tears are blood welcome back buddy

- “I am of the opinion,” Tharkay said, “that you ought not assign to free will something more likely the consequence of a sharp blow to the skull.”

he truly is the gift that keeps giving. an endless cornucopia of sarcasm and delight. we do not deserve him.  

- [The man he was eight years ago] would not have valued his own feelings, on such a matter, higher than the law and the discipline of the service. *AIRHORN AIRHORN AIRHORN* there we have it folks that’s literally his character arc spelled out, he would have done SO MUCH BAD SHIT because he thought his own feelings didn’t matter and yet he chose another direction, stupendous, brilliant, revolutionary

also him trying to get his support across to both of them in as roundabout and discreet way as possible... laurence you beautiful disaster

- im just so happ. so happy. so happy temeraire has his dumb dad back

- oh so the russians think the BRITISH, of all people, are too soft on their dragons... ruh-roh

- sdfskadlfj yes good tharkay the ROBES (also the implied depth of fond schadenfreude-tinged amusement contained in that ‘those particularly magnificent robes’.... *prayer hands emoji*)

laurence is like ET TU BABE?????

I think this is very delicate gong su speak for ‘please do not be a dumb bitch your majesty’

hahaha chu knows what’s up -- I am growing desperately fond of him, please don’t have him suffer any cop-one-day-from-retirement style accident

- “If I may cut your Gordian knot,” Tharkay said, with a glint in his eye. fdsklfhsdkflhdsakjfhdskjh remember back in black powder war when he was all closed off and phlegmatic and purposefully distant... and here he is... with a glint in his eye and a crazy ass plan that requires other people and that he actually shares before pulling it off and calling laurence by first name in public......... we’ve come so far

- Also this means he’s close enough to Laurence’s height and build that he can wear his clothes without it looking weird, which is nice to know because Laurence is sometimes more preoccupied with describing what men are wearing than, y’know, what they look like lol. (probably not quite as broad in the shoulders, tho, since it’s pointed out every time laurence is described that he has shoulders like a linebacker)

- temeraire: eXCUSE me god didn’t do this the emperor of china did???!?! rude???

- pffffffffff tharkay and chu being jaded world-weary bros for a second there... this is what I read these books for folks

- NOOOOOOOOOOO chu this is the one thing I asked you NOT to do D: temeraire being sad and scared about it is slowly murdering me, thank god laurence is back online for him

- dunno this napoleon dude sounds pretty great and all but this also sounds suspiciously... like trying to invade russia in the winter time. immovable force and unstoppable object or something. I mean I don’t read history so I don’t know. might be a great idea. who’s to say.

- I see that tharkay and laurence have reached the ‘communicating complex information solely through eyebrow movements’ stage of their relationship. *drinks this excellent excellent OTP juice with both hands*

- god I love how cool temeraire!napoleon is, in a strangely believable way. he’s just so weirdly charismatic and novik is SO GOOD at setting up a situation so you understand just how brilliant a move he’s made whenever he seems to be backed into a corner and turns it all around. I kind of want him to win at this point (though tbf all of europe fucking sucked at this time so like he doesn’t have to doll it up TOO much to look better by comparison haha)

- boooyyyy Laurence is P I S S E D (also him being like ??? :D that the general basically agreed with him lol)

ALSO also the fact that laurence does not realize that he’s like the fucking horror story all the major authorities around the globe tell each other at night... fjksdfhsdkjlhf

ah russia. truly consistently one of the most shit places to be a peasant or apparently a dragon through so much of history.

- junichiro Y__________Y no wonder laurence is so protective of him, he’s finally met someone as stubbornly stupidly ~*honorable*~ as himself. godspeed bb boy I wish you only the best even though I know your story line is never properly brought up again

- I ship... roland and demane... so much. like with my heart. she’s so young and earnest and curious and misses him so much and casually scandalizes alice about it fsjdakfjhds

- well I mean. dragons eating people is clearly not  g r e a t  but also... karma. y’know?

- this is a lot of words to use to convey the sentiment ‘oh they are all so fuuuuuuuuuuuuucked’ naomi novik

(feels a little like she wrote herself into a corner here tho -- she’s set up such an impossible situation, in RUSSIA in the WINTERTIME, that I’d need a hell of a lot of convincing to believe they get out of it)

- aaaah okay I really enjoyed this one too, especially the first half! I feel like this series is often at its most inspired when it sticks to a tighter character focus (for example I still vividly recall the part in the first book where Laurence stays in his father’s house and it’s Bad. relatedly........ F U C K lord allendale), and this brought that in spades. I love this series so much, it’s shamefully underappreciated in the speculative fiction world.

also it brought *me* to my knees with a simple “Tenzing,” [Laurence] said, which... holy shit. fuck. damn. that’s my personal recommendation of this book, tbh, even beyond my wish for this series to be more appreciated within the genre: Tharkay was there and it was very gay and non-obnoxious soulmate vibes???? I never even thought it could be done but here we are

This is probably going to be my last reaction thingy for the foreseeable future, since my local library doesn’t have book 9 and honestly... having read a few summaries of what happens in it I’m not that keen on reading it? That’s not the ending to this story I want, so I’ll just live over here in denialville, I-realize-the-author-made-the-choice-to-not-make-further-use-of-Lien-AKA-THE-coolest-antagonist-in-this-series-and-indeed-did-not-wrap-up-numerous-character-arcs-or-plot-lines-but-I-don’t-like-this-choice-so-I’ll-ignore-it

(actually I do sort of appreciate the idea of not having one grand final duel or something, because that’s not how it usually works in real life, but that she’d just shrug and not mercilessly hunt for the revenge she’s so clearly motivated by when everything she loves is falling apart around her again... that’s too much of a letdown to bear, really)

let me just... live in willful ignorance and pretend anything could happen from this point onward haha.

- let me give a final shout out to my boy gong su, who’s been hanging around since book 2 (!) and yet we do not know One Single personal detail about him for certain except that he sure knows how to handle knives. that’s some good spy shit right there, he knows what he’s about

#temeraire #blood of tyrants #willzing #william laurence x tenzing tharkay #aaaaaaaaand last one for a while! I had a lot of fun with this one even though I lost focus for weeks at a time at some points haha #that's not the book's fault that's very much a me problem

[thelastspeecher]

Superhero/villain AU - Heroic

Okay, the title is really vague because I wanted to avoid spoilers, but I’m gonna have to do a spoiler or two bc this particular ficlet requires trigger warnings!  Hooray!  So here’s an intense ficlet inspired by a hot button issue in my home country (the US of A), in which Emmett rises to the occasion, making both his parents proud and angry at the same time.

TW: Gun violence, school shooting situation (no injuries or deaths, don’t worry)

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              Emmett looked up from his comic book when his mom turned off her favorite John Denver CD.

              “What in the world…” Angie said faintly.  Emmett looked out the window.  His eyes widened.  He sat up straighter.  Every day, one of his parents would pick him up from school and then go pick up Emily, since her school let out half an hour later.  He’d gotten used to the routine.  The police cars parked outside Emily’s school and crowd of people milling around was most definitely not part of that routine.

              “What’s going on?” Emmett asked.

              “I’m not sure, hon,” Angie said.  Emmett continued to stare out the window.  A familiar shade of orange caught his eye.

              “Is that Dad?”

              “Looks like.”  Angie’s voice was carefully controlled.  Emmett watched his father, who was in his full hero gear, animatedly conversing with a police officer.  The car came to a stop.  “Stay in the car, Emmett.”

              “But what if Emily’s-”

              “Emily can take care of herself.  You know that.”

              “But-”

              “Emmett Stanley McGucket, this is not up fer debate. Yer goin’ to stay in here until I find out what’s goin’ on, understand?” Angie snapped.

              “…Yes, Ma,” Emmett mumbled.

              “Good.”  Angie got out of the car.  Once she was engrossed in conversation with a police officer, Emmett silently opened his car door and exited.  He snuck as close as he could without attracting attention, but still couldn’t make out what Angie was saying.

              “Dangit,” Emmett muttered.  

              “Hey, kid,” a voice said.  Emmett spun around.  A police officer was approaching him.  Emmett discretely slid off his power dampener.  “You can’t be here.  Go back to-”

              “You don’t see me,” Emmett instructed the police officer. The police officer’s eyes glazed over. He stood silently, limp as a rag doll.

              Oops.  Emmett glanced back at his mom, who was still arguing with a police officer.  Hang on.  This might work.  Emmett turned his attention back to the police officer he was commanding.

              “Turn on your radio and give it to me,” he said. The police officer handed him his radio. “Go over there.”  Emmett pointed at the small cluster of people that included Angie.  “Turn on someone else’s radio.  Discretely.” The police officer lumbered away, following Emmett’s instructions.  The radio Emmett was holding crackled on.

              “I demand to know what is goin’ on,” Angie’s voice said.

              Yes!  It worked! Emmett grinned.  I can’t believe it!  He looked up from the radio to see his dad walking over to Angie.  This won’t go well.

              “Ma’am, you need to leave,” Stan said gruffly. Emmett winced.

              It’s so awkward whenever they have to interact and one of ‘em is masked but the other isn’t.  Angie crossed her arms.

              “I won’t.  Not until I get some answers,” she said firmly.  “Tell me what is happenin’.  My daughter’s in that buildin’!”

              “I-” Stan started.  He rubbed his face.  “There’s a gunman situation.”  Emmett’s heart plummeted to his feet.  “We were able to evacuate most of the children safely, but the gunman is holding one class hostage.”

              “Which class?” Angie asked.  Stan looked away.  “Which class?”  Angie’s voice broke.

              “Seventh period Advanced Chemistry,” Stan said quietly. Angie covered her mouth with one hand.

              Emily’s in that class!  Emmett gripped the radio.  That’s it.  I can’t just stay out here and do nothin’!

              “Tell me now what steps yer takin’ to rectify the situation,” Angie demanded.  Her voice shook with emotion, but carried, attracting attention.  Emmett swallowed.

              It’s go time.  While his mom was occupying the attention of everyone, Emmett silently slipped past the line of police officers.  He sprinted towards the school.  Before he could make it to the front doors, he was tackled to the ground.

              “Kid, what the hell are you-” began the police officer holding Emmett down.  Emmett met his eyes.

              “Let me go,” he commanded.  “You didn’t see me.”  Like before, the officer’s eyes glazed over.  He silently released Emmett from his grip.  Emmett got up.  He looked over at the officer he had commanded earlier.  The man was shaking his head like he’d just woken up from a deep dream. Emmett broke into a cold sweat.

              I can only control one person at a time.  They’re gonna realize where I am.  This is my only shot.  Emmett jumped to his feet, bolted the remaining few feet to the front doors, and ducked inside.  Immediately, the radio he was holding crackled.  The sound echoed strangely in the mostly empty school.

              “Emmett!” Angie’s voice screamed, startling Emmett so much he almost dropped the radio.

              “H-hi, Ma,” Emmett said weakly.

              “Emmett, get back here, right now,” Angie snarled.

              “How the hell did you do that, kid?” demanded the voice of the first police officer Emmett had controlled.

              “It’s- it’s a long story, sir.”

              “And it’s irrelevant at this juncture,” Stan’s voice said.  Emmett swallowed nervously.

              Oh, no.  Dad only uses fancy words like “juncture” when he’s pissed.  Emmett began to walk through the deserted halls, disconcerted by the book bags and notebooks on the floor, dropped when people were running. I’m gonna be grounded until I’m eighteen.

              “What matters is that we’ve got an innocent, harmless kid who managed to get into a dangerous active crime scene,” Stan continued. Emmett huffed.

              “I’m not harmless,” he muttered.

              “Emmett,” Angie said in a warning tone.

              “Kid, leave the school, now,” Stan demanded.

              “No.”

              “Boy, if you don’t-” Angie started.

              “My twin sister is being held hostage, okay?  I’m not gonna sit in the car and do nothin’, Ma!”

              “Rethink your decisions,” Stan said.

              “No.  I know what I’m doin’,” Emmett said firmly.  Muffled noises sounded over the radio.

              “Ma’am, please don’t make me arrest you,” said one of the police officers.

              “I’ll take care of her,” Stan said.  “You just keep talking to the kid, okay?  Don’t let him turn off the radio.”

              Shoot!  That’s right, I should turn off the radio.  Otherwise, that person with a gun ‘ll hear me comin’.  His hands shaking, Emmett turned the radio off.  A dead silence fell.  Not the best adjective to use right now, ‘Met.  He came to a stop and strained his ears.  Faintly, he could make out vague sounds coming from down the hall.  Okay. Okay.  You’re actually pretty close.  He continued to stand still in the hall, every inch shaking with nerves. Move, dammit!  Emily’s counting on you!  Emmett took a step.  C’mon!

              Still shaking, Emmett managed to walk down the hall. He stopped outside the only classroom with a closed door.  Through the door’s window, he could see Emily, pressed up against one of the classroom’s walls.  She looked up.  Her eyes widened.

              “Emmett?” she mouthed.  Emmett nodded.

              “Send him out here,” Emmett mouthed back. Emily’s eyes widened further.  She shook her head.  Emmett nodded.  Emily grimaced.

              “Fine,” she mouthed.  She looked at something that Emmett couldn’t see, most likely the gunman.

              “Hey, uh, I think I heard somethin’.”  Emily’s voice was loud enough that Emmett could hear it through the closed door.  “Somethin’ out in the hall.”  A muffled voice replied.  “It’s not. I’m serious.”  Footsteps sounded.  The door burst open, revealing a teenage boy Emmett’s age, holding a rifle not unlike the ones Emmett’s relatives used to kill foxes that got too close to the henhouse.  Before the boy could raise his gun, Emmett spoke.

              “Stop.”  Emmett focused as much of his power into his voice as he possibly could.  The boy froze.  “Let go of yer weapon.”  The boy dropped the gun like it was red hot.  “Kick it over to me.”  The boy did as he was told.  Emmett picked up the gun, then tossed it over the boy’s head.  A gust of wind carried the gun to Emily, who caught it in her hands. Emmett then released the command. The boy’s eyes cleared from the haze they got when under Emmett’s control.

              “Who- how-” the boy started.  Emmett swallowed.

              “Look.  I could force you to give yourself up,” he started.  His voice shook, betraying his continued anxiety about the situation. The boy straightened his back.

              “Oh yeah?  How?”

              “Well, fer starters, my sister has your gun now. And our ma’s been teachin’ us how to properly operate firearms since we could crawl.”  Emmett nodded at Emily.  The boy turned around.  He saw Emily brandishing the gun and paled.  “So yeah, I could force ya.  But I shouldn’t have to.  And I don’t want to.  You did a bad thing.”  The boy’s shoulders fell.  “You know it. So do what ya can to rectify it. Give yourself up.”  Emmett put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.  “I’ll walk out with ya.”  After a moment, the boy nodded.  “C’mon.”

----- 

              “You’re grounded until you’re eighteen, kid,” Stan said, his voice muffled by the tight hug.  By the time Emmett and all the students had emerged from the school, Stan had gone home to change out of his spandex so that he could be there not as the superhero Flamethrower, but Emily and Emmett’s dad.  Emmett and Emily were currently wrapping in a tight hug by both their parents.

              “I figured,” Emmett replied.  Angie broke off the hug to cup Emmett’s face in her hands.

              “Emmett, that was incredibly brave,” she said sincerely. Emmett smiled.  “But it was also incredibly dumb.”

              “Easily the dumbest thing I’ve seen any of you kids do,” Stan added.  “And that’s saying something.”  Emmett shrugged.  “Sport, if it wasn’t for your power, you’d be in deep shit.  You realize that, right?”

              “Yeah.”  Emmett rubbed the back of his neck.  “I know.”

              “Emmett got the guy to give himself up without using his power, though,” Emily said.  “Yeah, he used it to get the gun away, but after that, he talked the guy down.” Angie put a hand over her heart. Stan’s eyes welled with tears.

              “Dad, don’t cry,” Emmett said.

              “I’m not crying,” Stan grunted.  “It’s just- it’s allergy season, y’know.”

              “No, it’s not,” Angie said.  She kissed Emmett’s forehead, something she had to stand on her tiptoes to do, now that he was taller than her.  “Honey, I can’t decide whether to be proud of ya or profoundly furious with ya.  Which is part of bein’ a parent, I s’ppose.”  She frowned at Emmett.  “Seriously, though, if ya ever try somethin’ like this again-”

              “Not planning on it.”

              “Well, not until you become a hero like your old man, right?” Stan asked, jovially elbowing Emmett.  Emmett shrugged.  “Aw, c’mon. That was pure heroism, what you just did.”

              “I know, but…”  Emmett looked away.  “It was really scary.”

              “Yeah, that never goes away.  It never stops being scary,” Stan said breezily.  Emmett grimaced.  “What makes a hero is doing the right thing, even though you’re scared.”

              “Yeah…”  Emmett nudged the ground with his toe.  “I’m not really in the mood fer one of your motivational speeches, Dad.  I’m a bit…I just wanna go home.”  His voice became smaller with every word.  Stan wrapped his arm around Emmett’s shoulders and squeezed.

              “You got it, kiddo.  But maybe we can stop for a treat on the way?  I think a hero deserves some ice cream.”

              “I agree,” Angie said.

              “Yup,” Emily said.  Emmett managed a small smile.

              “I’m not one to turn down ice cream,” he said. Stan grinned at him.

              “That’s my boy.”

#oooooof this had content a bit heavier than I usually write #but I'm proud of how it turned out nonetheless. #Superhero/villain AU #Emmett McGucket #Angie McGucket #Stanley Pines #Emily Pines #ficlet #my writing #my stuff #speecher speaks

[bookdragonlibrary]

Second Tuesday YJ appreciation

1-3 ; 4-6 ; 7-9 ; 10-13 ; 14-16 ; 17 ; 18 ; 19 ; 20 ; 21 ; 22 ; 23 ; 24-26

—————————— First Impression

- Is that... a Reach ship? Could it be linked to the machine? It’s fonctionning, nothing good...

- 4 days later. 

- I love how Garfield is respectful and aknowledges Kaldur and M’gann efforts despite the situation. Batman should take him as an example...

- A public Team. So is that what he had in mind in the previous episode? I’m relieved. So much clever that what I thought! But the bad guys will probably guess if there is a public Team, there also is a covert Team. Not all of them were aware of this...

- Kaldur being a protective Big Brother :)

- Lex restricted even more the JL? What does he want them to do? Charity missions and gala?

- Strikes against meta people :( Not really surprising as we have strikes against POC and queer people... Humankind really doesn’t like difference, does they? :(

- Of course bad guys would find a way to make profit of humans. We already do it with pollution,

- Gar has good points actually! My boy had mature so well!

- It’s me or Traci is drown way differently when she is in civics and hero costume? Her face seems different.

- It’s them at the end of the previous episode! And there’s a picture with Gar and Perdita. #RelationshipGoals I agree!

- “We’re gonna start a revolution! A... a small one anyway.” xD It would be a revolution in YJ verse and against the Light actually :)

- “Get on board or get out of the way!” xD And Conner is not really proud about this and probably wonders who told this to Gar xD Who bet Wally?

- “Green skin. Can’t hide.” He’s already a famous star anyway. But easily recognizable because of it.

- “Public doesn’t always get I’m a different guy.” Aw sweetie :( 

- “They already know what I have become. Now I want to show them who I have become.” So powerful :)

- “And there were no way I was gonna let this be a no girl squad.” / “Group needed a little color.” Seriously writers? Can’t they have real character motivation? Like Cassie wanting to be aknowledged as a true hero (to show her growth since her insecurities in season 2) or Virgil wanted to be known as a hero (since in the previous episode the girl didn’t know Static). This kind of comments are in the 4th wall dimension, something the fans see, not something the writers say to show they have included diversity in their characters. It’s something you show, not tell, or it doesn’t have the same impact on the fans. 

- But I like Jaime and Virgil friendship

- “Not ready. Noy yet.” That would also have been a great occasion to give them character development. Like Forager is supposed to be dead, Terra still copes with her abduction and Traci doesn’t trust her control on her powers yet (her hero insecurities) and develop why Halo isn’t ready yet. 

“Guessing we’re too old. Whoa. When did that happen?” Technically Conner is 8 so he can still be part of their Team and I would have love Artemis being with them as their Team lack of martial arts :)

- So it’s Teen Titans Tower but in Hollywood instead of San Francisco? And it’s called the Hub.

- Wait... where’s Traci? I know she’s the only one who isn’t part of the Outsiders or lives there but still!

- “This is so crash!” I agree Bart!

- “Finally! I mean: thank you!” Brion is so glad to have his own personal space again :) The bioship should have felt pretty small compared to his room in a royal palace.

- “Who’s paying for all this?” “Gretchen Goode.” xD

- “Now that what I call payback!” “This is a sympathy bump.” I love Cassie and Virgil frienship! Finally a girl and boy being BF without love involved! :D Please, writers, let’s them stay BF! :( I want Cassie to give poor flirty advice to Virgil when he meet a girl he like xD But fans, still feel free to ship them ;)

- Poor Forager :( 

- “No way 6 teenagers are gonna to live here alone and unsurpervised.” *she says while looking at Violet and Brion* “Yeah, who knows what might happen?” Those two make love (with their respective boyfriend) in the Cave, didn’t they?

- “I would be happy, honored to act as a den mother.” Helga, stop saying honored, that’s weird and suspicious... What everyone else doesn’t find it suspicious?!

- 3 days later. It feels like it’s the same day, doesn’t it?

- Nowadays teenagers reflex: record it before to go in safety...

- Does he... play against himself? Super cute!

- EyeSpasm? What kind of technology is that? Something to make livestream? I don’t like the “Spasm” on it... Look like Granny’s goggles to me...

 - So the Reach ship makes a move 6 days after?

- “Mother of God!” Brion is still so funny while he’s angry xD

- “No drill, the Reach are back!” “No, just no!” My poor babies, please no more trauma for them :( maybe we’ll have flashbacks of Bart’s past and Jaime’s while on mode?

- Kaldur is so great and... beaten to easily? I know it’s Reach tech but I thought he would manage longer as he put Blue inconscious in season 2...

- He’s DEAD? No, he’s ok! Don’t give me heart attack like that! I had enough with Forager already!

- “Chill, Aquaman!” Is that supposed to be a joke? You know, because it’s winter and/or Kaldur is Atlantean.

- *fangirl laugh* I hated that... I just hope she won’t get hurt because the fangirling makes people dumber...

- “My spectacles” Is that an old word for glasses? “Gratitude.” This girl definitely has a high rank vocabulary.

- “Stay calm, citizen, and stay inside.” Cassie feels a little unease and  in a confident character :) Not confortable yet with speaking with the population yet :)

- “Superamalgamated.” No clue of what she said...

- Love that Virgil has a techonological plateform now :) 

- Helga seems so proud of Brion :) Ok, maybe she’s not evil, but just overprotective like I thought...

- “Please, miss, you must get to cover.” Give up, Kal, she’s a teenager AND a fangirl, no way she stay out of danger...

- Wait, why Joan is at hospital? What happened to her? :(

- Aw... Ed showing the Team to his proteges :3 And Wendy is laughing!

- “Maybe it was a bad idea to do this in mid-air.” You think? Didn’t Scarab tell you about this? “This is a really bad idea, Jaime Reyes. You should...” “Don’t worry, Scarab, I’ll handle this!” By the way, why we don’t hear him? It would be interesting to have his pov since it’s the Reach in front of them!

- The scream doesn’t seem to be Jaime’s voice but Brion’s...

- Aw... Mom Arty is sad they’re leaving :( Or did they already have? Violet is crying :( “One last sleepover.” They haven’t leave yet.

- So cool Gar is introducing his team :)

- The Sheriff is funny but what kind of American accent is that? Is it cliché? I find it annoying :/ (no offense, it’s just difficult to understand)

- “We prefer protégé.” = “don’t call us sidekicks!” in season 1 xD But more diplomatic.

- Whisper A’Daire and Intergang are back! Blue already met her in season 2 with Superboy. And here are Scorpia A’Daire (her little sister I guess?) and Cairo Defrey. Is she from Egypt? Is she old or does she have metapowers with her white hair?

- Scooby Doo vibes? I mean the Team appeared in an episode, so why not? Wait, so the two girls are from Scooby Doo Team too? (Don’t know their names in English...)

- This bip doesn’t look good... The big ship is awake again! So the Reach will come? But it seems pretty empty so? Did the signal activate because of Whisper’s line? As she said they didn’t succeed?

- “Look what they’ve done to our library!” It’s just a glass sir, pretty sure it’s no big deal compared to a destroyed city... Have you seen Central City after Neutron?

- Tommi Tompkins, sound like a boy name... Wait! Is Tommi transwoman and his dad just use his dead/birth name? He’s really a jerk :( 

- He’s on Lex Luthor’s side, that’s why...

- The ship is huge! Is it the same than where the heroes and Runaways were abducted in season 2?

 “This is so moded!” “No way...” “Yes way! I mean: look at us! We’re in chackles!” They still have the same dynamic! :’)

- When the bad guys told you to call the JL, you know you’re in trouble! Except if you’re a dumb jerk...

- He called the US Air Forces. Is he dumb or... No, there’s no other explanation that stupidity (I mean a lack of knowledge, but essentially common sense...)

- And... they’re dead... Mayor, your stupidity caused two deaths (maybe 4?) of soldiers. Are you proud? Remorsed? “No, no, no!’ He’s a stubborn dumb jerk, isn’t he?

- “Mine aren’t (tied). Just handcuffled.” and they break free so easily it’s funny xD Why do you think they use collar in Belle Reve, stupid mayor?

- Tara’s flashbacks are heartbreaking :( She couldn’t see her parents again after her kidnapping :( 

- “Do you see how brave Tara and Violet are? You can be brave like them.” *Violet hides because of thunder* It was sweet and funny :) And Artemis is educating Lian to be brave like her parents and auntie :)

- Big sisters Artemis and Tara :) It’s rare to see Tara smiling, those family moments do good to her :) 

- Gar still likes to perch on people’s shoulder :) 

- “No baddies, just their bones.” Bart, the Reach are insect-base, they don’t have bones... Wait, could be the bones of the abducted teens in season 2 who didn’t have the metagene? Virgil said there were kids they never saw again and they were only 5: the Runaways plus Chimmer. Where were the other kidnapped kids? Dead. And that won’t make any sense the Reach stay on that ship to die at the end of season 2... And the Team didn’t kill anyone while saving the abductees. So yeah, it have to be the murdered abducted kids :’( 

- “bad news, there are still militaries air force.” The mayor is really stupid or the soliders didn’t get the memo their colleagues are dead in one blow?

- “Good news.” “Please no bad news, Please no bad news.” “Bad news.” “Urg!” xD

- Virgil’s sarcastis comments are back! xD

- Gar still has clever solutions :) 

- Of course, Ed is worried :) And Wendy doesn’t have the collar anymore! The Team did inspire her! :D 

- Joan :( 

- Big Bro Kaldur is so proud of them!

- “No concept of how much that thing is gonna cost to get out of my lake?” Sorry, mayor, we thought Brooklyn was a democraty, not Tompkins’ kingdom... And the taxes aren’t your money either but serve the city... --’

- “A Young Justice League” that a recall of the show title, isn’t it?

- “We are all Outsiders.” Catchy indeed!

- “Relax, your time will come.” Tara can’t wait to act, but against what? against who? Those family moments didn’t stop Tara for working with Slade :( 

- Is she looking at Lian? Why? :o :(

- So the ship was indeed empty for 2 years. Man, Jaime and Bart would be so mad at them when they’ll learn the Anti-Light thing and that they knew there were no Reach on it... 

- Lag’aan! Is still in the hero game! Only for Atlantis or he’s part of the League now?

- Oracle!

- So Kal was indeed holding back!

- Who is the second guy? He looks like Garth’s old brother. Edit: name’s Wyynde. he appeared in the tie-comics. 

- “I don’t think he’s ready for that, for this.” M’gann also talks about the lies and secrets the Anti-Light has to come up with. She doesn’t want that responsibility and burden on her brother’s shoulder. And maybe fears his reaction to this.

- What is the Anti-Light mission?

- Brucely and Wally plushie! Wait... is that text sounds? This’s Tara but where is... In Lian’s room? In her own room? Are they sleeping in the same room just like Violet and Artemis?

#young justice #Yj reviews #watch young justice #watch young justice outsiders

[jhessail]

Me attempting to make 90s esque story and failing:

“He’s gone! He’s gone!” The messenger yells through the long drawn halls, his voice reverberating with panic. Doors all along the hall the messenger ran threw open in synchronicity, all demanding the same thing.

“He’s gone!?”

“He’s gone! He’s gone!” The messenger repeats endlessly, more doors ahead opening with repeating the process until the messenger finally exited the castle, shouting for the entire kingdom to hear. Soon the kingdom was full of open houses and people trying out the same set of words the messenger refused to change. Only when the messenger bumped into someone did the words stop.

This someone was young man with green hair and a sinister smile plastered across his face, and by him a man in full plate. The messenger gasped in terror, falling on the ground as the young man bent forward to sneer delightfully at the messenger.

“Who is gone?” The messenger paled and he compulsively yelled,

“The king!” The messenger’s hands threw his hands up to cover his mouth as a delighted evil grin spread across the young man’s face.

“I suppose this means,” he dramatically stood straight, flipping over the white coat that draped across his shoulders, “the battle for the throne can begin!” His companion cheered and screams echoed throughout the kingdom with a maniacal cackle of the young man.

~*~*~*~*~

Morgana Savenouski stares straight at the whiteboard of the classroom with dull eyes. There were equations that had yet to be erased from the previous class, and one huge word that she knew applied to her and her alone.

“Witch”. Someone must have written it on the board before she got here. Luckily for Morgana, she had long ago become used to words like that. Ever since she was little, she had been bullied ruthlessly by society. She learned late to stop fighting back so the name calling persisted even after reaching late into middle school. Now the words didn’t hurt as much.

As much being the key word.

“Oh look at the little rat,” Morgana heard a girl say, far away from where she sat of course. “She’s as dreadful looking as ever.” The girl’s volume was louder to try to get Morgana’s attention, but instead the girl continued to stare straight at the whiteboard.

“She’s probably more like a zombie rat with her ugly clothes and crappy hair.” Some of the equations looked like they might be hard, so the girl took out a piece of paper and pencil to write them down. She was supposed to be here to learn, not be continuously mocked by her supposed peers.

“Oooo scary, a zombie rat. Do you think she needs to be shot in the head like a normal zombie?” A boy joined in the overly loud mocking and Morgana just continues to copy the equations. She never reacts to them much anymore, so she was used to being called several different things now. They wanted her to get angry and try to beat them up again. Because it was funny when the small short girl with tiny fists tried to hit a giant.

“Good thing she’s so small, one shot with a shotgun will get her whole body.” Finished, Morgana focuses on the numbers to try to see what she could correlate from yesterday’s lesson. Her pencil glides across the paper to try to formulate a pattern between the equations.

“Must have been easy for her mom to give birth to a rat.”

Her pencil snaps.

“I bet her mom is as much as a zombie rat as her.”

Her vision goes red.

“You know I’ve heard from my dad that her mom’s actually a-” it didn’t matter what the girl was going to say, because Morgana stands up and approaches the group venomously, her fists bunched together and ready to swing. The group of teenagers laugh gleefully and scatter, letting the girl chase them around the room until she could catch one. A boy. Probably let her catch him, but that didn’t matter. She grits her teeth and was about to hit his face, hopefully break his nose,

“That’s enough!” The classroom quiets down, everyone looking over to the teacher. “You two, go to the principal’s office now!” He obviously addresses Morgana and the boy, “and the rest of you, clean this mess up immediately!” Chairs and desks had been moved during the scuffle. The teacher gave them a few seconds to glare at them, then yells, “Now!” The boy she had caught sulks to the hall and she slowly follows after him.

Frustration plasters across her face, especially when the boy, she thinks his name is Tyler, bolts and flees the school building. Idiot.

But she was a bigger one for letting them get to her again.

She reaches the principal’s offices, the office aids behind the desk were not surprised to see her. One of them, a nice older woman that went by Missus Darrow, gives her a hard candy to suck on as she waits to be yelled at by the principal. She was proud of herself for only having to come in once a month instead of every single day like when she was in elementary school. It wasn’t long when Mr. Aramai, a gentlemen with slicked black hair, square glasses, and blue eyes exits his room to see her outside of his office.

He sighs quite heavily and took a practiced step to the side to let her in. He closes the door when she enters and when he sat in his chair, she was already bunched up with shame and her legs on her chair with the rest of her body. Mr. Aramai looks at the picture on his desk then stares at her.

“How many times are we going to do this Ms. Morgana?” Her neutral expression morphs slightly to match the rest of her body’s stature. “Is the other person in the nurse’s office?” He asks seriously. She shakes her head. “Ms. Morgana.” His voice took on the cross tone she only hears from her mom.

“Tyler left the school.”

“In an ambulance!?” Mr. Aramai shouts in a panic,

“No, no! He just...left.” Mr. Aramai groans and quickly exits the room, Morgana assumes to get someone to either find Tyler or get his parents alerted. Morgana rather likes Mr. Aramai’s room, it was filled with the normal principal office assortments of certificates and other dumb things for adults, but unlike her elementary school principal, his room also held a bunch of pictures of smiling people. Parents, families, and children, all of them doing something fun. Mr. Aramai wasn’t even in most of the pictures, so it must be because he liked the same thing she likes.

The genuine smiles of the people features in the pictures.

“Now that, that’s been taken care of-” Mr. Aramai came back into the room and returns to his seat. “Ms. Morgana, I will ask again, how many times are we going to go through with this?” Morgana found her gaze glaring down at the ground. “I know that the elementary principal didn’t put you through any punishments for these kind of outbursts, and I have been as understanding and patient as I can be.” She knows.

She hates talking to most adults. Mr. Aramai has been one of the few she tolerated talking to, and that was because of his understanding and patience. “I’m sorry Ms. Morgana.” She looks up at him, a little fearful of his next words, “I’m going to have to call your mother,”

“No!”

“And we’re going to have to schedule a conference to see if we can help you through other methods.” He continues effortlessly.

“No don’t drag my mom into this!” Morgana shouts again, pushing her chair away with irritation. “Mom has nothing to do with this!” Morgana finds her voice higher than she ever remembers it ever being able to get. Mr. Aramai sits on his chair, unimpressed. He simply stands up and Morgana, small and irritated as she is, follows after him as he makes his way out of the room. She tugs on his pants angrily, like the child she feels like now. “Don’t tell my mom! Please!” She pleas, her knees giving up on her and falling down to the ground. She still gripped his pants and tears flowed freely from her eyes. “Please, please, I’ll be good, I promise!”

The office aides and Mr. Aramai look down at the pitiful girl. The adults share a look and Mr. Aramai sighs once again once all the women focus a defensive glare at him.

“Okay. This is the last time Ms. Morgana, next time you’re in my office for anything, and I mean anything I’m doing what I said.” He helps the girl up, “You got that?” The girl sniffs the snot pouring from her nose up, wiping the remnants of her tears off her face. “Ms. Morgana?” The girl nods, her mouth choked up with her turmoil. “Okay.” He rubs the top of her head, messing her ragged hair even more. “Now head to class, I’m sure your teacher is eager to continue teaching you things.”

“Her schedule says she has Mr. Bellevue.” Mr. Aramai makes a face.

“Ooh, um. Right.” He pats Morgana’s head again, “Actually go clean yourself up and we’ll just,” he coughs with his cheeks flushing slightly, “just give you a free block.” Morgana internally giggles in her head. Mr. Aramai and Mr. Bellevue had a strange relationship with one another, it was pretty famous that they butted heads with each other often. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” Mr. Aramai insisted, patting her shoulder awkwardly, coughing lightly.

~*~*~*~*~

Morgana walks slowly to her home after the long day at school. Now that the other kids finally found another thing that could trigger her anger, they continued to say cruel things about her mother. It took every ounce of her being to not ruin the very earth the bullies stood on. The ground she stared at slowly passed her as she continues to drag her feet home.

Why was it so easy for people to hurt other people? Her mother didn’t deserve to be called such mean, rude, and untruthful things. Morgana did for existing, but her mother definitely didn’t deserve it. Morgana found her steps stopping as she came across a dead cat. It looked like it had been mauled by another animal. The girl crouched close to the animal.

It must have been painful.

It must have been the worst experience in its life.

But at least it wasn’t alive anymore.

Jealousy coursed in her heart.

Morgana found herself shaking, she was so sick and tired of everything. She had to make sure she didn’t have anymore outbursts, she had to make sure she didn’t trouble her mother, she had to make sure to continue getting good grades and-

She started sobbing. It didn’t matter she was on a public street crying over a dead cat. She just wanted everything to stop, to end.

“Excuse me Miss? Could you help me?” Morgana shoulders shudder, her chest shook with her emotions as she looks up to the voice that asked her the question. She was taken aback to see a young man in a suit of armor. She couldn’t help herself, her brain was stunned into shock. “Miss?” She spotted the young man had a spiky tuft of orange hair peeking out from his helmet. This young man was a little older than her from how tall he towered over her, but he wasn’t a complete adult.

“H-help you?” Morgana answers his question with her own. The stranger sees her face and his hands go up, panic lighting up his face.

“Oh-oh dear. I’m so sorry, may I help you first?” He offers one of his hands and then he must have seen the dead cat because his next reaction is heartbroken, “Oh no. I am so sorry.” He kneels to the ground and Morgana watches as he presses the front of his plate. Part of the plate pops out like a robot and he reached into the new hole in his plate, bringing out a symbol Morgana had never seen before connected to a long golden chain.

She watches as he spoke a prayer, sounding more holy than any priest Morgana had ever heard in her life. He touched the symbol to the dead cat and tucked the necklace back in and he put the full plate back into place. “Sorry Miss.” He offered the hand that had not touched the cat, “I do not know if it will comfort you in any way, but know that this creature is in a place of peace.”

Morgana felt annoyance course through her entire body. Who the heck was this guy to just say something like that? She grabs his offered hand and pushes it away with rage, getting up and wiping her face with her long sleeve. The young man did not seem offended and stood there quietly.

“I don’t need your help and I’m not going to help you. You can find some other jerk to get sucked in your religion.” Morgana finally spits out, getting into the street to get past the man.

“Miss be careful!” The young man grabs her arm and before Morgana could yell venom at him, the loud blaring noise of a truck screeched past the two. That...that had came out of nowhere, and the stranger had just saved her.

“Why did you do that?” She demands, the sudden realization that she had been that close to everything stopping was gone. It would have been the best accident of her life. She hit the full plate and found herself cursing underneath her breathe from the pain.

“Because you were going to get hurt by that monster Miss.” So matter of fact. So honest. SO FRUSTRATING!

“I WANTED TO GET HURT BY THAT MONSTER!” Morgana shrieks at the stranger. “NO ONE TOLD YOU TO SAVE ME!” The young man just stares at her with shock. “I WANTED TO DIE YOU MORON!” Her whole body leaned in with her scream, the truth she had hidden from everyone else in the world. She shook angrily, staring at the ground with the dead cat between the two again. She was so close to being like that stupid cat. Her tears litter the street, coloring the grey a little as she continues with her frustrated emotions from finding the dead cat.

“If you wish to die...then you can definitely help me.” Morgana looks up at the young man, shock blatantly pasted across her face.

“What?”

“Miss this may be a little hard to believe, but I am from another world.” It would be harder to believe if he weren’t covered head to toe with armor. “I am here to try to find someone willing to help me find our king.” This was getting to be a bit too much. Morgana holds out her hand to stop the young man from talking any further.

“Doesn’t matter, I already told you I’m not going to help you.” She turns to try to continue escaping the conversation.

“I am glad to hear that you were not serious about dying.” The strange man remarks loudly when she got ten feet away. Morgana found herself stopping. Not serious? She turns to glare at the man who had continued to stare after her. Morgana held her teeth close together, waiting to see if the stranger would continue talking. His eyes, weirdly colored, seemed genuine and happy. Happy like the pictures in Mr. Aramai’s office.

“You don’t think I’m serious?” Morgana challenges. His eyes shifted and he held up his hands, like he was going to talk her down but she wasn’t going to let him. “I am! I want to die so much!” She hisses at him and to both hers and his shock, Morgana found herself stepping out into the street again. She was about to die and all it had taken to finally push her over the edge was a stranger from another world thinking she wouldn’t.

This was just great.

Morgana spreads her arms and legs out, waiting for a car to finally wipe her from his world. Her prayers were going to be answered as a car rushed from a previous stop light, breaking the speed limit, and Morgana stares at the panicked face of her killer. She wouldn’t have to get hurt by people anymore. She wouldn’t be a burden on her mother anymore.

“Go Servant of Bonds, bind her temple and become my sword!” Morgana gasped as something pushes her to the other side of the street, hitting the grass of the park that was on the other side. Morgana stares up at the sky, her breath taken away and her eyes unable to focus. Soon she manages to focus on something other than the sky as a snake stares down at her.

Oh good, maybe it’ll poison her.

But it was a bit too cute looking for her to think of it as a ferocious carrier of death. Golden colored with giant eyes that could compete with a puppy.

“Hello snakey.” She remarks lazily.

“Miss, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“No.” She simply replies. The serpent staring at her disappears from her vision and instead the stranger’s hand comes close. She hits it, and he offers it again. This happens a few times until he just grabs her by her entire arm and pulls her up. The serpent is wrapped around the young man’s neck like a funny looking scarf. “You saved me again.” Morgana hisses at the stranger. “You’re a real jerk!”

“Yes…” The stranger’s gaze shifts with discomfort. “Miss, please just hear me out-”

“No!” She knows she was childish sounding but screw this guy! She had finally got the guts (spite) to kill herself and she had been stopped. “I’m going home now!” She yells at him, “Now go find someone else to bother!” She starts to march off but a loud sound of clanking follows after her. She must have cried too loudly earlier to hear him but now when she was just seething in her head and walking only to the sound of cars and walking the full plate was obnoxiously obvious.

She turns to yell at him. “I told you to go find someone else to bother!” The young man still looks incredibly uncomfortable. “Don’t follow me you creep!”

“Miss-”

“My name is Morgana!” The young man stopped speaking for a moment and nods in response.

“My name is Rian, Miss Morgana.” His strange colored eyes seems to light up at finally introducing themselves to one another. “Heh, we make a team of a king and queen.” Morgana shot him a very confused stare. “Our names mean king and queen in different languages.” Oh. Weird. Wait. She turns around and continues to walk to her home.

“If you’re from another world how come you can speak English?”

“I come from an English-speaking world.” Rian took on a happy charming tone to his words. He must have been glad she was going to stop trying to kill herself or crying in front of him. “Our languages are not any different from here. In fact we have had the Tower of Babel in our world as well, it is a very interesting-”

“Stop being boring and keep your answers short.” Rian made a noise of surprise. The two walked, Rian in a sulking mode apparently as he didn’t speak another word. Perhaps he was just waiting on another question from her.

“Why are you following me? I’ve told you several times I’m not going to help you.” Rian made an uncomfortable noise. “Well?” Morgana snaps at him.

“Yes. Sorry Miss Morgana. I was just trying to figure how to say the predicament we are in shortly.” She stops.

“We?” She turns to the orange-head. He nods to this. “Why we?” Rian seems to pale under her gaze. If Morgana wasn’t so unhappy and irritated she might have mustered a giggle in her mind at the thought of her, a tiny thirteen-year-old intimidating a young man who towers over her.

“Well...you see…”

“You can take your time with this.” Morgana spat at him, sensing he would probably have more pauses then she would have cared for.

“Right then. Miss Morgana, can you see Chai here?” He pointed to the serpent wrapped around his head, its head resting on his head adorably. Chai sounded weird to Morgana for a snake name but then again, she didn’t own any snakes.

“Yes?”

“And you were only able to see Chai after your...attempted suicide, correct?” Morgana frowns.

“Yes?” It was a good thing Rian’s eyes were expressive because Morgana could easily read the distress off of them.

“I was afraid of that.” She stares at him dully waiting for him to continue, her irritation growing on her face. “Miss Morgana because you can see Chai now, it means our bond is accepted by Fate.” She waits, her face growing more angry with every second going by. “You see in my world I’m of a race of creatures that gain power from a Sire.” Rian visibly squirms under Morgana’s gaze. “Chai is my family’s Servant of Bonds that determines our Sire.”

Morgana got a bad feeling from his words as he continued. “We can use Chai for some magic until we find a Sire but when Chai determines a bond we are no longer allowed to perform such feats without our Sire’s permission.”

“Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”

“Because you can see Chai now...you are my Sire Miss Morgana.” She jumps as he kneels down. “Please, I pled of you, let me be your Knight.” For the first time in her life she thought of doing something she had never done. Never thought she would have to do.

Morgana ran away. Despite all of her faults in both the intelligence, looks, and height department, Morgana had pride in her speed, and with Rian in heavy armor, there would be no way he would catch up with her, especially if she took a shortcut. Morgana dives through someone’s yard, flinching but not stopping when she hears the rapid barks of whatever dog the person kept in the backyard. She continued to run, darting through many people’s backyards, her lungs trying to punch themselves out of her chest. She needed to get home, and she just needed to forget about today entirely.

“Spear the earth and consume the flaws of humanity!” Morgana screams as something wraps around her ankles and drags her to hit the ground. She slams into the earth and screams again as her body starts dragging against the harsh grass of someone’s backyard, the blood leaking from her nose giving an eery trail. She turns around and gasps to see a chain wrapped around her, and connected to the chain was a man in black full plate.

Standing behind the man with full plate was a wizard looking fellow. This must have been two people from whatever world Rian came from. Why were they attacking her? She tries to grip the chain around her ankle as the man kept pulling her to him, her butt on fire as her dress started bunching up uncomfortably against the grass.

“Leave me alone!” Morgana yells as she can’t get the thing unwrapped around her.

“Sorry miss,” the wizard looking fellow cackled out, “Bruno here feels that troublesome Knight around you.” Must be Rian, stupid magical world. The dark-haired girl screamed as the wizard spoke again, “Crush the flesh of rock and render the soul useless.” The chain wrapped around her ankle started to sink into her ankle, it was the most easily the most physically painful thing she had ever felt in her life.

The chain continued to sink into her flesh, she could actually feel her bones shrieking in vibration. “Bruno don’t be so tasteless, wrap more around her body to get her quick.” The wizard man laughed and Bruno gives him a laugh in return.

“Sorry Sire, I just like to make them feel useless first.” The two share a laugh and Morgana continued screaming in pain. These stupid sick jerks!

“Stop it!” She begs, screaming even louder as sees her foot bend at a strange angle. Her screams must have become a siren by now, so high-pitched that no one normal could hear them.

“Give me a command Miss Morgana!” She was sure the only reason she could hear his voice because she wanted anything to interrupt the pain. A command? What, like how that wizard looking guy was saying those long sentences? She can’t think of something like that now, she was in pain!

“Rocket punch the asshole!” The chains sinking into her broken ankle even paused at her words. The grip on the chains grew slack and Morgana managed to glare beyond her tears to see Rian’s gauntlets had flown through the air and had punched Bruno with what she imagined was the force of a rocket.

“T-that wasn’t a spell!” The wizard complains as Rian approaches him with a demonic aura around him. “Hart, this is-” the wizard’s voice high and panicky while his face was filled with sweat.

“I don’t care.” Rian simply spoke, and Morgana watches as he grips the wizard by his shoulders and she sees Chai coil around Rian’s arm and meet the wizard’s face.

“No please don’t, Bruno will-”

“Goodbye.” Chai bared sinister fangs that Morgana never thought she would see from the sweet looking snake and pales when Chai bit the wizard’s eye. The man screeches, he tries to move and grasp Chai who looked like it was swallowing something. Morgana sees from her peripheral vision that Bruno got up from his spot and he starts to head to the trio. Each step he took however looked more and more like he was becoming smaller, what little Morgana could see of his face seemed to be shrinking.

When Rian finally let go of the wizard looking man, Bruno reached the trio but sank to the ground, his armor falling apart as if he had never existed. The wizard man cries, the eye that Chai had bit into was gone, left with a hollow black hole. He sinks down and he picks at the sand all around the full plate, dripping all over the empty plate with pathetic whimpering. Rian only gives the man a cold glare then made his way to Morgana. The girl looks at him with shame.

He kneels down to her and sighs, “I am sorry my Sire.” That cursed sincerity was there, he really was sorry. It wasn’t even his fault. Morgana burst into tears again,

“My mom’s going to kill me.” She sobs. Rian couldn’t help the little chuckle that escaped his control.

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“She has a superpower, she always knows when I’ve cursed, I’m going to get my mouth washed out with soaaaaap.” The young woman continues to sob, pain and anxiety mixing her face into a wonderful mess with mucus and redness. Rian laughs at her a little, his bare hands patting her head with a gentleness.

“Ah, I can see why you wanted to die now.” A hiccup of a chuckle managed to escape her aching crying. Ah this was just a confusing chaotic mess, she still wanted to die but now she knew at least she didn’t want to die this painfully.

The world was cruel, people like to bully her to get a rise from her to watch the small little rat fight against giants. People like to hurt her through her mom because it was easy to make fun of someone who wasn’t there. Now there was another world that looked like it wanted to hurt her as well, for reasons she didn’t know yet.  

At least Rian was nice to her.

#Find the King! #Morgana Savenouski #Rian Hart #This went down a darker road then I would have liked #AND JUST FROM WATCHING ZATCH BELL #HOW ABSURD AM I #OC Alert #Wall of text

[beepbeeprichiellc]

Pink Lemonade

Summary: Richie Tozier finds himself in a sticky situation and is forced to hide in a closet for safety. He wasn’t expecting to find the space already occupied, and he defiantly wasn’t expecting to enjoy the company so much

A/N: *Warnings: Mention of Sex, and Loss of Virginity.* How in the hell is this fiction still going. I mean it just keeps on going and I don't want it to be too long but God, I just love it. Next chapter, whenever I get to writing it, will be a bit more angst. Angry Riche, hurt Eddie and pissed off Stan. Not what you think though.

Word Count: 2221

Masterlist

Part: (1) (2) (3) 4 (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

The first thing that Richie noticed was the smell. Fresh linen laced with lavender washed over him, practically coating him in the heavenly scent. He could feel himself melting into it, wishing that he could swim in the aroma forever. This wasn’t his own sheets, his mother refused to wash his, and yet the he could almost place the scent, almost.

The second thing Richie noticed was the sunlight that shined onto his face. He rolled over, trying to block it out but it followed him. He willed himself to ignore it, to resume his slumber but his eyes opened themselves anyways.

The third, and final thing Richie noticed was that he had no fucking idea where he was. The room was neat, everything in its place. There were no clothes on the floor, no trash anywhere in sight and he couldn’t find a speck of dust on the nightstand. This was nothing like his bedroom at home and he suddenly became worried about the night before.

Richie attempted to rise from the bed, immediately meeting the headache that swelled in his skull. There was a slew of curse words as he dropped back into the mattress. He was hung over, that much was for sure.

“Look who decided to wake up.” A sarcastic sneer came from the threshold. The trashmouth shifted his head, noticing Eddie only in boxers and a night shirt.  “It took you long enough.” He yawned, passing by Richie, muttering something under his breath as he rummaged through his dresser drawer.

“Where the fuck am I?” He asked, trying to tune out the loud shuffling of the clothes. Eddie closed the drawer loudly causing Richie to wince. “And do you mind? I have a killer hangover, be a little quitter, fuck.”

“Okay.” Eddie hissed, moving to his closet. “One, you’re at my house and two fuck you. You’re at my house Tozier, I can do whatever I want.” He removed what looked like a pair of jeans before slamming the closet door shut.

“Shit!” Richie exclaimed, covering his ears. “How did I even end up here?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Eddie asked, pulling the jeans over his boxer shorts.

“I remember talking to you at the hay barrels, then I remember falling and-“He paused, looking over to the smaller boy who had taken his shirt off before replacing it with a fresh one. His body was tiny, almost all of his ribs and shoulder poking out of his skin, reminding Richie of a Halloween skeleton. The trashmouth wondered if he would break in bed. A smirk curled at the corner of his lips, “And did I puke on your shoes?”

Eddie cringed. “Yeah, you did. You also puked in the car, the sidewalk and on my favorite hoodie so thanks for that.”

“Man, what a party foul.” Richie joked, chuckling lightly.

“Yeah hilarious.”

“Okay so how did I end up at your place?” The trashmouth asked, suddenly aware of his almost nudity. “And how did I end up in only boxers.”

“Well after you fell off the barrel, highlight of my night by the way, I took you to Beverly. She told me she couldn’t take care of you because she was already chasing down a drunken Mike, Ben was helping. Apparently the football team had stripped and were seeing who could streak closest to the fire.” Eddie shook his head, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. Richie couldn’t help but imagine Mike, fully moon, trying to jump the bonfire with Bev and Ben rushing after him. He smirked as Eddie continued. “Stan wanted nothing to do with you, shocker there, and Bill was Stan’s ride. So lucky me, I was stuck with your dumb ass.”

“So you took me here?”

Eddies shrugged, “Where else was I supposed to take you? I have no idea where you live and I had to drive your truck, which is a piece of shit.” 

“I bet your parents are pissed.” Richie joked, rubbing his head and reaching for his glasses from the bed stand.

“Dad’s dead, Mom’s out of town.” He replied matter-of-factly.

“Huh.” Richie retorted, “And you just undressed me for fun or?”

He could see the blush that spared across Eddie’s face, his gaze dropping to the floor. “No. You were fucking filthy so before you were totally gone, I had you strip and I washed your clothes.”

“Uh huh.” Richie mused, a shit eating grin crossing his face, “If you wanted me naked in your bed Eds, all you had to do was ask.” He leaned over, running his hands down Eddie’s back causing him to jump up in surprise. “Purrrrrr.”

“Oh fuck off trashmouth.” Eddie hissed, standing from the bed in a huff. “I should have just left you out there with the rest of those idiots.”

“Oh calm down princess, it was a joke.”

“You’re impossible.” He hissed, walking out of the bedroom. Richie could hear him storm down the steps, hopefully going to grab his washed clothes. The lanky boy rose form the bed, feeling the dull throb of his brain but ignoring it. Lazily he walked around the room, taking the odd cleanliness. His hands ran themselves across his dresser, accumulating little dust. Richie smirked, unable to stop the bubble of emotion that began its way up his throat.

God, Eddie was such a dork.

His eyes caught the picture frame that was pushed back to the back of the dresser, practically hidden by Eddie’s book bag. Richie pulled the photo closer, immediately noticing his small friend. It must have been years ago, the Eddie that was in the picture no older than five or six. He was holding an enormous baseball bat that had to be more than twice his size. Behind the child was a man, his face fixated on Eddie’s hand placement, a genuine smile spread across his face. Slowly, Richie traced the small boy’s face, feeling his heart swell at his adorable, overzealous smirk.

“That’s my Dad.” The trashmouth jumped at the sound of Eddie’s voice, nearly dropping the picture. He fumbled slightly, managing to recover not so smoothly. The other boy only smiled, placing the clean clothes on the bed. “That was taken a week before he was diagnosed.”

“Diagnosed?”

“Cancer.” Eddie replied, his voice void of emotion. “He died less than a year later.”

“Oh I’m sor-“

“It’s fine.” He replied, shrugging off the entire situation. “That was a long time ago.” They stood there from a minute, Eddie’s eyes down casted, brows furrowed as if deep in thought. Richie debated whether or not to say anything, his stomach twisting painfully, but it passed as the small boy spoke up. “Your clothes are washed so hurry up and get dressed.”

“Can’t take all of this sexiness?” Richie joked, making a rather crude motion with his hips.

Eddie cringed, a ghost of a smile crossing his face. “No, I want you out of my house. It’s bad enough you contaminated my sheets. Who knows what sexually transmitted disease you’re carrying.”

“Nothing that your mother doesn’t already have, I made sure of that.” He retorted, grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head, his voice muffled by the fabric. “You’re okay with herpes right Eds?”

His host rolled his eyes, snorting as he turned to leave out the room. “You really need to stop calling me that.”

Richie smiled, shaking his head. He stumbled somewhat, trying to follow his friend and put on his pants on at the same time. He stopped at the top of the stairs, buttoning up his jeans. “You fucking love it Eds.” He cooed at the boy descending down the staircase. Eddie only flipped him off in response.

The trashmouth hurried down the stairs, eager to catch up. He hopped the last two steps, landing loudly on the hardwood floor. There was a smirk on his face when Eddie picked up his shoes and keys from the coffee table. “Here.” He bit, shoving the items into Richie’s hands. “That’s everything.”

“Awe, you’re too good for me.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at the sentiment, walking into the kitchen. Richie looked at the door as he pulled his shoes on, feeling his chest tighten. He knew he should go, he had already burdened his friend with his drunken self and he knew that was a handful, but he didn’t really want to leave. At least not alone. “Hey Eds?” He yelled, not moving in either direction.

“What?” He replied, practically groaning.

Richie grinned, “How about I take you out to breakfast, I kinda owe you for last night.”

Eddie appeared, scrunching up his face. “It’s noon Rich. You’ve slept all morning.”

“Okay lunch then.”

“I don’t know.” His host started, fidgeting with his fingers. “I’ve got to clean those sheets and-“

“Oh come on, it’ll be like an hour, two tops.” He could practically see the wheels in Eddie’s head turning. Richie bit his lip, waiting for an answer that seemed to take forever to come. He jingled his keys nervously and Eddie sighed.

“Fine.”

The diner was small and smelled of hotdogs for whatever reason. Richie guided Eddie to a booth near the back where a prissy teenager took their order. The trashmouth talked mostly, filling the air with his nonsense. He was relatively surprised when Eddie responded to his babble, actually putting his input into the one sided conversation. The whole thing was comfortable, their interaction with one another light and placid. There were a few jokes thrown around between them but it was all in good fun and Richie couldn’t help appreciate the sense of calm that Eddie brought out in him without even trying.  

Soon though the small kid grew quiet, his gaze settled on something out the window. Richie noticed, instantly felt his body tense. “Got something on your mind Eds?” He asked, shifting his weight in his seat.

“Can I ask you something?”

Richie was taken aback by the question, the seriousness in his voice forcing the trashmouth’s stomach churn. “Sure.”

“It’s kind of serious.” He replied meeting his friends gaze. “I don’t want you to make one of your dumb ass jokes about it.”

“I will try my best.” Richie replied, putting his burger down and whipping the mustered from his mouth. “Shoot.”

Eddie paused, his eyes darting between the trashmouth and what remained of his food. “How do you know when you’re ready for sex?”

Richie nearly choked, he could feel his face become red with embarrassment. His mind fought to respond but his fat mouth beat him to it. “Well you see, when you get aroused your penis gets hard and then you stick it in-“

“Forget it.” Eddie hissed, “I knew I shouldn’t have asked you.”

“Whoa hey, look I’m sorry I didn’t mean that.” Richie managed as Eddie slid out of the booth, shaking his head and huffing in disgust. “You just took me by surprise.”

“Thanks for lunch.” He replied coldly, tossing his napkin onto the table.

“Come on Eds.” Richie pleaded, feeling his heart pound against his chest. “It was a joke.”

“It’s always a joke.”

“Eddie.” But his friend ignored him, turning to leave the quaint diner. Richie reacted, grabbing hold of his forearm. “Please, just sit back down. I didn’t mean it.”

“You’re just going to make fun of me.”

“I promise I won’t” The trashmouth pleaded. Eddie glared at him, unmoving. “I’m sorry.”

Slowly, Eddie sat back down on his side of the booth. Richie watched as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, grimacing every so often. Richie took in a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. When he exhaled, he could feel the air become thick with their unspoken anxieties. “I um-“ He started, adjusting the glasses on his face. “I lost my virginity when I was fifteen. It was with Betty Ripson, on the couch in her basement.”

“I thought you were-“

“Bisexual.” Richie finished, shrugging. “I like them both. Anyways, I didn’t know if I was ready. It was her first time too so we were both clumsy and awkward and it was absolutely horrible.” He chuckled, the memory of his adolescence nipping at his brain. “Look, I’m not sure if I’m the person you want to have this conversation with. I don’t have the best reputation when it comes to knocking boots, and we’ve already covered that we both have different views on love vs sex.”

“I feel like a prune.” Eddie confessed, “I mean there’s this guy that I like and I don’t know, I’m worried that the lack of sex would drive him away.”

Richie stomach knotted painfully. He could feel his own jealousy claw at his chest but he swallowed, forcing down the ugly emotion. “You should never feel pressured Eds. If you want to wait till you love someone to have sex then do it. It’s your body, your decision and you should never do something that you aren’t comfortable with.”

Eddie smiled, his face blushing at the out of character speech. “Thanks Rich. That was actually-“He paused shaking his head, “Nice.”

“Hey I can be all gushy if I want to.” He replied, winking at his friend. “Just call me the love expert.”

“Yeah I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Good choice.”

Tags: @decaffeinatedpostmoon

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it #it 2017 #it au #it fanfiction

[erule]

Can you see it?

Title: Can you see it?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 4.200+  

Warnings: romantic, fluff, angst, teen!reader, time travel  

Summary: The reader dies and Dean asks Rowena help to bring her back, but it’s not that easy. He’ll have to come back in time and make her remember him.  

Notes: This is the story I wrote for the Fandom Writing Challenge, my prompt was pudding. This contest is such a great idea! Hope you like the fic :)  

<< Can you see it? >>

<< Yeah, I can see it. >>

Dean smirks, his eyes still closed, while he’s laying on the grass, the left arm under his head and the right one on his stomach. She’s laying next to him, breathing slowly, an eye opened now.

<< You’re cheating. >> Dean says.

<< Nope. >>

<< I bet you have your eyes opened. >>

<< Just one! >>

<< Unbelievable. >> Dean comments, opening his eyes, propping on his elbows, turning to look at her, raising his right eyebrow.

She looks at him, a lock of her hair that descends on her shoulder, a roguish smile just mentioned. Dean lives for moments like this, when they’re playing like two teenagers. He feels younger (and a bit dumb) whenever he’s with her, but maybe it’s a good thing after all, since they had to grow up so much faster than the other kids. Since he has to play the parent all the time, with Sam (it’s not as bad as it may seem, that’s just his job, to look after his pain-in-the-ass little brother). Since he has to kill the monsters to clean up the whole world, a mess that he didn’t start, but that he has got to finish. His heart feels heavy, sometimes, because he thinks he doesn’t deserve a corner of peace in this world, especially with her, but Y/N taught him to be a little selfish when it comes to them, to spend two minutes alone, because he has to stop to pay for Atlantis’ punishment: the world doesn’t need him to take it on his back. She is the one who needs him.

<< What are you thinking about? >> she asks, bringing him back to the Earth.

<< I don’t deserve you. >> he replies and she rolls her eyes, sitting down. Everytime he tells her these words, she gets angry. Everytime, except for this one.

<< Dean, you know you do. >>

<< I don’t. >>

<< That’s not your call. >>

Dean snorts. He always loses against her.

<< Fine. >>

She smiles, this time for real and Dean’s heart skips a beat, when she does it.

<< You know I love you, right? >>

And that’s here, in this moment, that he understands it: this is a dream. She doesn’t say it. It’s not in her DNA to tell these three words, like him and like his dad. That’s why she didn’t get angry. But Dean nods, holding back his tears, because there’s only one explanation of this dream.

<< I know. >>

Out there, she’s dead.

 He still has nightmares, about what happened three weeks ago. He just can’t get through it, he can’t forget. There’s her blood on his hands, red, too red like strawberry’s juice and sticky. The world is crumbling down from his back, an avalanche, hitting his spine, crushing his bones and flattening his lungs. It just feels wrong. Wrong that she got to die so young, wrong that he had to watch her leaving for the last time, wrong that she was still holding the gun and not his hand.

There’s not a way back from the darkness. That’s what Sam told him, before he got out from the warehouse and slaughtered the witches who hurt her. Even the newspapers talked about it. His moment of unglory. His first memory without her. Even though she was with him, somehow, in his mind.    

<< Can you see it? >>

<< Yeah, I can see it. >>

Dean opened an eye, then the other one, while she was still listening to the wind, eyes closed and legs crossed. He put himself closer to her, his hand a few centimeters away from hers. His dad would have said that he was a coward, but the truth is that he didn’t want to rush the situation. He let it evolve.

He gulped.

<< What do you see? >>

She remained silent, moistening her lips before she could talk, while he was completely kidnapped by the movement of those.

<< I see… an enormous pudding looking at me and asking me to eat it! >> she exclaimed, opening her eyes and then Dean tickled her. She tried to run away, but he succeded to hold her back, listening to the beautiful sound of her laughters.

<< Y/N, you’re such a liar! >>

<< Alright, alright, I’ll tell you what I saw, if you let me go. >> she said and Dean did what she asked. << Thank you. >> she stated, adjusting her t-shirt, that had risen. << I saw it. There was this… white house and… >>

<< Am I the new President of the United States? Awesome! >>

<< Jerk. >>

<< Bitch. >> he answered.

Y/N snorted.

<< Can I keep going? >> << Yes. >> << Good. This house was ours and Sam lived with us, but like in the basement. Don’t laugh, Dean. Then… Oh! You were a mechanic and I was a waitress. >>

<< Wow, humble. >>

<< Yeah, very humble. We were happy and… nothing more. >> she finished, shrugging her shoulders.

Dean nodded.

<< Something else? No? I like it. >>

<< Do you? >>

<< Yes, I do. It’s… simple, real. I like it. >>

She looked at the grass, without even seeing it. Dean raised her chin with a thumb, forcing her to lock her eyes into his. Stars, stars that suddenly were becoming constellations.

<< We won’t have it, right? >>

Dean promised her that the lies were not considered in their relationship, but it turned out he lied anyway.

<< Yeah, someday. >>

Then, her hand reached for his.

 He was outside Rowena’s door, with a bottle of beer in his right hand, banded because he punched the bartender. Not that he was concerned or something, but Sam would have thought the worse, so he had to keep it for himself as a secret. He didn’t have secrets with her.

He knocked. He heard her footsteps behind the door, hoping he didn’t have to force her to do things she didn’t want to do. He wasn’t that kind of man. Or, at least, he wasn’t once.

<< Dean. >> she said, with her accent, smirking. << What are you doing here? >>

<< Sam doesn’t have to know about all of this. >>

She rolled her eyes.

<< No, I won’t enter in your stupid family feuds! Not anymore! >> she shouted, trying to close the door, but Dean stopped it putting a shoe between the door and the jamb. She gave him a bad look. << You better be convincing, Dean Winchester. >>

<< Trust me, I will. >>

She looked at him one last time, then she let him enter. Her hotel’s room seemed so expensive, he asked himself how she managed to pay for it, but it was none of his business. He just shaked his head.

<< Tell me. >> she crossed her arms, annoyed.

<< It has to be a way to bring Y/N back to life. >>

<< No, there’s not. >>

<< Listen to me: your coven did this to her, so you’re gonna fix it! >> he screamed, angry.

<< I was running away from them, they were not my coven! >>

<< Yeah, but we were trying to help you and it’s your fault if she died! You owe me, Rowena. You’re gonna clean up this damn mess. >> he said and Rowena swore she saw actual flames in his pupils.

She snorted, but he got a point. He was half right. There was a sperimental way to help that girl, but it was stupid to give this information to a desperate man.

<< There’s something. >>

<< Okay. >>

<< I can bring you back in the past, in an exact moment of her younger age, to warn her. >>

<< It doesn’t sound hard. Where’s the catch? >> << She has to remember who you are. >>

Dean shaked his head, counfused.

<< We didn’t know each other. It’s an oxymoron. How can she remember me, if we’ve never met? >>

Rowena gloated.

<< This is the difficulty. There has to be something inside her soul that only you can reach. It will be like she met you in another life, like she did, because I’ll send you in the past of a parallel world, in which you will never meet. >> she explained. << In or out, Dean. >>

He thought about it for a minute, then he nodded. Perhaps, he was just being selfish, because in that world she would have never become a hunter, qithout knowing him and she would be stilla live right now, but he needed her.

<< In. >>

She didn’t have feelings, but she knew that if she could have ones, she would have felt sorry for him. The last time she saw those sad eyes, was when Fergus killed Alonzo. That’s why she felt the need to warn him.

<< You could remain stuck in the middle, Dean. >>

Dean shrugged.

<< As long as I’m with her, I don’t care. >> he responded.

Rowena nodded, then she prepared the elements for the spell. An hour after that, Dean was laying on the bed, his eyes closed and Rowena was moving her hands, casting a sort of sleeping spell.

<< You’re gonna sleep for two days, Dean. You don’t have very much time. >>

<< It will be enough. >>

 When he opened his eyes, we found himself in a graveyard. He saw some people around a tombstone, grieving and crying. Between them, he recognised her. She was younger, her eyes were circled in her, but she was not sheding a tear. She had her hair tied up in a ponytail, whitened knuckles and she was looking at the ground. Then, he looked at the picture on the easel. She had his father’s eyes. That’s what happened in her life that made her kinder, stronger, nicer. She buried her father, when she was eighteen. She never told him. He knew her age, because he saw some old photographs. It was the most important moment of her life, probably. The moment she became the Y/N he learned to love.

He came closer to them, thinking about what he should have said. Sam was the good one at this, not him. He was always too rude or too embarassed. So he took a deep breath and walked.

<< Hey. >> he said to her, after the priest was gone.

She raised her eyebrows.

<< Does we know each other? >>

<< Yeah. I meant, no… I knew your father? We worked together? >>

<< Were those answers or questions? >>

Damn, he was already making a bad impression on her. So he did it again, he lied to her. This time, he would have been convincing.  

<< We did. >>

<< Oh. What’s your name? >>

<< Dean. I’m Dean. >>

Something, like a switch was pressed in her head, but Dean wasn’t sure.

<< Hi. >> << Hi. I’m sorry for your loss. >>

<< Yeah, thanks. >> she answered. << It was… >> she bite her bottom lip. << It sucks, to be honest. >>

<< I know. I lost my father too. I didn’t love him as much as my mother, but it was hard anyway. It always is, when you lose someone of your family. >>

It was hard when I lost you, he would have liked to say, but he couldn’t and so he didn’t.

She nodded.

<< Despite everything he did, he was a good father. >>

<< What did he do? >>

<< I thought you knew. He stole all the money from his society. That’s why you have been fired. The company has failed. He did this for us. I hated him for a very long time, but I can’t be angry at him now, right? He payed his debts. >> she said, looking at the tomb. << He payed for all of it. >>

<< Y/N, he did a good thing in the wrong way. The company was already sinking like the Titanic… >>

<< I’m sorry, I have to go. Thanks for your presence, Dean. >> she said, wanting to go away from him.

She didn’t want to hear the truth. She didn’t forgive her father. Never. Not that he couldn’t sympathy for her, but it was the reason why she couldn’t move on and it was the reason why she didn’t say those famous three words to him in so many years. Because she loved him, she let herself be fragile by trusting him and he died. He betrayed her.

He followed her. Firstly, she went to her house with her mom and the guests. After half an hour though, he catched her escaping from the window. There was the Y/N he knew. She went outside a school, maybe her old one and she stayed there, looking at the guys that went out from it. Her gaze was full of melancholy.

<< Do you remember something good? >> he asked, coming closer to her.

<< Are you stalking me, old man? >>

<< I’m barely thirty years old! I’m not old. >>

She smiled a bit.

<< Don’t worry. I don’t like boys of my age. >> she answered, her hands in the pockets and an off brightness in her eyes.

<< Sweetheart, I’m not here to fill your ego. Tell me what you’re doing here. >>

<< My mom sent you, right? >> she questioned. Dean nodded. Is it a lie, if you don’t say it? << Tell her I will be fine. >>

<< You won’t. >>

<< It’s not your call. >>

She was stubborn, like always. He loved it. The problem was that he had half a day to make her “remember” him, so he couldn’t enjoy her company for too long, sadly. He just realised how much he missed her.

<< Listen, Y/N: I don’t wanna seem an old man that gives you a crappy advice for your life, but I know the feeling. >> he started and he had suddenly her attention. << Look, I… recently lost a person that I really loved and I blamed myself for a long time, before I realized it wasn’t my fault. That was, perhaps, the worst part, because I didn’t have anyone to blame. So I reached agreements with the truth: I loved her and she died, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t in my heart anyway. >>

She looked at him, his eyes were glossy.

<< Was she your girlfriend? >>

He shaked his head.

<< Sort of, but not really. We just enjoyed each other company. >>

<< Did you forgive her? >>

<< For what? >> he asked, confused.

<< For leaving you alone in this world. For missing her so much, it hurts in your chest all the time. >>

<< You’ll fill the void, someday, Y/N. Or you won’t, but it will be okay anyway. Someone will take the pain with you. >>

She nodded, holding back the tears.

<< Thanks. >>

<< You’re welcome. >>

She dried out her tears, gulping.

<< Can I see you tomorrow, again? >>

Dean smiled.

<< Of course. >>

<< Okay. See you tomorrow, then. >>

And now he had just 24 hours to make her fall in love with him.

 The day after the tragedy, Dean was waiting for her outside the door like it was a date. He prayed that her mom didn’t see him. Y/N looked so young, he almost felt like a maniac going out with her, but in their reality she was twenty-nine, so he felt relieved.

<< What’s your profession now, Dean? >>

<< Oh, well… I’m a hunter. >>

<< Cool. My granpa was a hunter too. >>

<< Yeah, I know. >> << Did we bump into each other some years ago? Probably no, I would remember you. >>

<< I wish you did. >> Dean murmured.

<< What? >>

<< I don’t think so. >>

<< Yeah, I would remember your pretty face. Hell, if you’d be just three or four years older than me, I would really have dirty thoughts about you. >>

Dean really thought for a minute that Rowena was messing with his head, making fool of him with that prank, because he didn’t even get to kiss her once when she was still alive. He didn’t have the chance. He didn’t even know what he was to her.

<< Can we talk about something else, please? Do you want to go eat something? I’ll take a pie and you’ll take pudding. >>

<< How do you know about my favourite food? >>

Dean gulped. Damn.

<< Your father told me, I think. >>

<< Oh, right. He used to bring me one when he was late for dinner. >>

<< Maybe your father and I were very similar, after all. >>

Then, they entered in the bar. It was nice and good-looking, but Dean kept looking at her instead, because if something would have gone wrong, he could have returned in a world in which she wasn’t alive and the idea killed him on the inside.

For about two hours, he totally forgot it. He just sat down and watched her eat her pudding, laughing at his jokes, talking about their favourite things, learning some new elements about her younger version and listening to the old ones he already knew, but without getting tired of her. He just couldn’t get tired of her. He missed her so much, a hole in his heart just opened and threatened to swallow him alive.    

<< I can’t believe I forgot it! >> she exclaimed, suddenly. << Dean, I’m sorry, but today I have to babysit my little nephew, so I have to go home. Can we see each other tomorrow? >>

Dean’s heart fell in his stomach. He had got two days. Just two days and they were slipping away from his fingers. He couldn’t pretend anymore.

<< We can’t. >> << What? Why? >>

<< Look, I’m tired of lying to you, because I know that lies are the worst thing to you. I’m gonna be honest with you and I hope that honesty doesn’t make me lose you. Again. >> he answered. She seemed confused and a bit scared.

<< Again? >> she repeated, her voice was shaky.

<< Y/N, this is a parallel world in which we weren’t supposed to meet. Probably, it’s a world in which you survive. Yeah, I’m sorry to tell you that, but in the other world you die and I couldn’t live without you in it, so I asked a witch what I had to do to bring you back, but I only have some hours. I know that it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me. >>

She gulped, processing all the information he just gave to her.

<< What are you supposed to do, to help me? >>

<< I’m supposed to make you remember me, even if we’ve never met. >>

She rolled up her sleeves around her fingers, nervously.

<< How did we first meet? >>

He smiled, remembering that day.

<< It doesn’t sound like you, but I swear that you were dressed with this pink ribbon, tied up to your hair, looking like a vintage girl, outside this cafeteria in California, giving tickets for the new opening. I took one and then I made a very dumb joke to impress you, but you laughed at it. You laughed and I fell for your laugh. >>

She had tears in her eyes and it hurt him to see her like that.  

<< So, the dead girl that you loved… was me. >> she whispered.

Dean clenched his jaw.

<< Yes. >>

She brought a hand on her mouth, just a moment before she went away from there. He tried to follow her, but she had always been faster than him, so he let her go away.  

 It was night, when he was laying on the grass of her courtyard. He was looking at the dark sky. There was just a star and it was about to explode, because it was too bright and too far away. Like her. How can you dig so deep into someone’s soul in order to make them to fall in love with you? He didn’t do it in six years, he couldn’t do it now in six hours. He was about to be brought back in a world he didn’t belong to, without her. Or he would have been stuck in the middle with her, that probably hated him right now. But, at least, she was alive. She would have been in love with someone that would have deserved her more than him.

<< Pudding? >>

He sat down immediately. She was standing next to him, offering him some pudding to eat. He nodded.

<< Thanks. >>

They remained silent for a while, just eating.

<< I’m sorry. >>

<< Shh. >> << Y/N… >>

<< Okay, just tell me. Just tell me how you got it. How did you fall in love with me? How did you understand it? When? Why? >>

He clenched his jaw.

<< I don’t know. >>

<< You suck. Just like my father. >> she said angrily, standing up and walking away.

<< Please, don’t go! >> he yelled, following her.

<< You are a liar! I could tell, if I loved you! >> she shouted, turning to face him. << I could tell you from the way that you look at me, that makes me blush, because that’s too sweet, no one looked at me like that. I could tell you, because you make me shiver, when you talk like you know me, but I don’t recollect a first meeting with you. I could tell you, I could tell you, because I feel a connection with you that I’ve never felt with anyone, anyone. I want to spend hours with you talking about stupid things and eat pudding, because hell, that’s all I want. And I’ve met you just yesterday! I don’t believe in soulmates, Dean, but I do believe that I’ve felt something for you in the other world. >>

Dean gulped, holding back the tears, trying not to look like a complete fool in front of her.

<< How would you feel, if I told you I loved you? >>

She bursted into tears, without being able to answer, but it was an answer to him.

He felt the wind the was trying to bring him back. It was all around him, calling him with Rowena’s voice. He was returning to his world, the world that didn’t belong to him, because she wasn’t in it anymore. Maybe he would have preferred to stay there, stuck in the middle with her. Alive, but not alive, at the same time. But existing, existing in her heart.

<< I remember you! >> he heard her shouting. << I’m not leaving you! >>

She reached out a hand and her fingertips touched his for a second, right before he disappeared.

 When he woke up, Rowena was biting her nails.

<< You’re back! I was already thinking what to say to your brother, you know, just in case… >> << She remembered. >> he said.

<< What? >> she asked, astonished.

<< Yeah, but I guess it didn’t work very weel after all, uh? >>

<< Dean, if she remembered, it worked. >>

Dean’s eyes staring to wander.

<< Where’s she now? >>

<< In the same place you left her. >> Rowena answered, pushing him outside the door. << Where she broke your heart. >>

When the door closed behind him, he found himself in that warehouse again. It was a mess: blood on the walls, witches on the ground, Sam in a corner, trying to fight against one of them. He was back in the past, that was the night she died!

<< Dean, go help Y/N! >> Cas shouted and he woke up. He had a knife in his hand.

He ran away, looking for her in the room she left the world forever. He screamed her name, but she didn’t hear it. The witch was casting the spell that killed her, but this time he was there, he was ready. He threw the knife along the room and it cut his throat. She fell on the ground, the blood on her face, but she wasn’t dead. He took a breath of relieve and went to hug her.

<< Hey, hey, hey, I’m okay. I’m okay. >>

<< I love you. I should have told you. >> he said.

She remained quiet, her hands on his back.

<< I love you, too. >>  

                                                                ***

 Laying on the grass, Dean was holding her hand, looking at the sky. It wasn’t a dream, this time. He was smiling, even if he was trying not to or she would have made fun of him.

<< I’m gonna repeat the question: do you see a future with me? >>

<< True answer or sarcastic answer? >> she replied.

<< True one. >>

She chuckled.

<< You’re such a dumb guy, Dean Winchester. >>

<< Yeah, but you love it. Alright, now do it. >>

<< A future with you? >> << A future with me. >> he repeated.

<< Okay. >>

She looked at him, while he was still fixed on the stars. She smiled softly.  

<< Can you see it? >>

<< Yeah, I can see it. >>

#fandomwritingchallenge #dean x reader #spn #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagine #jensen ackles #spn ff #spn fanfic #dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester fanfiction #castiel #sam winchester #misha collins #jared padalecki

[rediscoveringdreams-blog]

Whoops, I fucked a trump supporter!

Introduction: Okay so here is the story I probably shouldn’t be putting on the internet, but it’s a story I need to tell. It mostly is a story of my summer love crashing and burning but I get a good giggle out of it and I hope you will too. Story time: It was the middle of the summer and my family and I were going on our annual road trip but this year was a bit different. An old military buddy of my stepdad’s was retiring and had family land in, middle of nowhere, Wyoming where he was going to throw his retirement party. For the purpose of this story we will call my stepdad’s friend Tyler. Now Tyler has a beautiful wife and two teenage kids a daughter, Olivia 15 and a son, Travis 18, I was 17 at the time. Now all the parents thought that me and Olivia would hit it off and be the best of friends. But that wasn’t really the case….. So we are staying on their land in Wyoming and after a long 9 hour drive up (from Denver), with a flat tire and just a generally shitty trip we get there at about 7 o'clock at night. We pull in and get introduced, and start to settle in. My first thoughts were that Travis was really friendly to my younger siblings who are 4-10 years old. He was not super tall but had shaggy dark brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes with stubble as they had already been staying in the cabin for a few days. He smelled strong of pine from helping his dad clear dead trees from the land earlier that day. He was rocking a university of Wyoming hat (go wyo!) and I thought he was generally cute but by no means my type. I may be pansexual but I have a tendency to fall for girls and was barley over my girlfriend from earlier that year. We decide to play games to pass the time, (no wifi, no cell service, for almost a week). It was fun so we lost track of time and before we knew it it was 10 o'clock and all the parents are ready for bed. So they tucked in the little kids, Olivia was tired and went to bed leaving just me and Travis to stay up playing cards. We get talking and it seems like nothing is off limits, we talked about politics and religion, ex’s and high school bs ; nothing was off limits. We were telling stories and he opened up to me about his ex boyfriend who broke his heart,(he is bisexual).He talked to me about moving around the world with his dad in the military, and what school was like in Germany. He was super smart and told me that after a year off he was going the the university of Wyoming for pre-law. We didn’t got to sleep until about 3 am. I felt like I was getting to know him and it was really fun. Every night it was pretty much the same we would stay up late talking and playing cards, we didn’t see each other much during the day because his dad needed his help with stuff around the land and I was busy visiting colleges and doing stuff with the older girls. Finally it was the last day he had asked his dad for a break day and asked me if I wanted to see his favorite part of his family’s land. Naturally I said yes, who would pass that up and at this point I was itching to get away from my family. Shortly after breakfast me and him head out on a walk to go see his favorite spot. It was beautiful, a breath taking lookout over a valley, which stood alone in the sense pine forest. We sat and started talking and like usual we lost track of time, we stayed out until dinner, and right after dinner me and him headed back up so we could see the sunset from the lookout. Right as the sun started to set a small heard of dear moved into the valley next to us. It was so freaking beautiful and by far the best day of my trip. After dark we wondered back to the cabin. When we got to the cabin we were late and the parents were angry at us for being gone all day. I being the nervous wreck I am started to get anxious that this day, which brought me so much joy, hurt and upset other people. I went in the living room and sat on the couch crying. Travis calmed me down really quick saying it was okay and that we didn’t do anything wrong. Next thing I knew we were knees deep in a conversation about daddy issues and I was crying again. He then moved closer to me on the couch and asked me if I wanted a hug. I said sure and we sat there just cuddling for a minute. After a long hug he moved in and started kissing my neck, I kissed back and next thing I knew we were making out. The rest of this part of the story is my buissness 😉 but all you need to know is that we went all the way in the living room of the cabin. The next morning I had to head out, he gave me a hug goodbye and that was it, he told me to find him on Facebook, (I broke my phone otherwise I would have given him my number). After we got home I was anxious to find him, I liked him and missed him. When I found his Facebook I had a rude awakening as he stood proudly in a “Make America Great Again” hat. I was shocked and quickly messaged him he said he was meaning it as a joke, then I found his Twitter which was even worse he was a totally different person who shamelessly posted about “dumb liberals” and holding guns talking about shooting things. It was a wreck and I felt so stupid. I know I will run into him again because he is a family friend but for now I’m just happy that it was over quick. So there is my long winded story of summer love lost.

#fucktrump #ididthat #makeamericagayagain #fuckyourcouch #whoops #seeyoulater #twofaced #thoughtyouweregreat