To do:
Mark stuff for school
Prep lessons
Clean the fucking bathroom
Write some stories I've been planning in my head
Prep breakfast for tomorrow
Read for a bit to calm down
Tidy up my desk, it's a mess
Adapt a poem into a script for a staged reading
Currently I am:
Messing around on HeroForge and Picrew
Singing along to old Austrian pop songs
Doing everything to not think of work tomorrow
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James rolled across the bed and onto his stomach, abandoning the campus map he’d been annotating in favour of reaching for the other boy sat with him in his bed; and he smoothed the sticker balanced on his thumb onto the apple of his cheek with an efficient little sweep of the digit, smiling when he’d achieved his goal.
Regulus Black held himself very still for a moment, eyes still on the book open in his lap, before they finally flicked up to meet James’.
He arched an eyebrow at him incredulously.
“What have you done to me, Potter?”
James’ grin widened, and he shuffled closer on his stomach; and for a moment, just took in the sight of his lovely boyfriend, cross legged on his bed while he read through one of James’ University textbooks, devouring pages on Cultural Theory for no reason but that the book had been out when he’d come over.
Even longsuffering and watching James with that dry, amused smirk pulling at a corner of his mouth, he was all kinds of breathtaking, long hair mussed around his face from the enthusiastic snog James had initially greeted him with, his most recent stolen-jumper gaping around his collarbones, knees peeking through the tears in the knees of his jeans.
James loved him all the time, but this was always special. When he was dressed how he wanted, wrapped up in Sirius’ hand-me-downs and the secret things he’d purchased with years-worth of scraped together pocket money - the lilac converse abandoned beside James’ bedroom door, his favourite floral-printed sunglasses - instead of primped and polished to his mother’s standards.
He was hot when he was dressed up like that too, of course, but James felt too full when he was like this.
When he was James’ Regulus. Not Walburga’s, or Orion’s, but James’, loose and comfortable and smiling with his eyes.
On the apple of his cheek, where his blush always stained darkest, the little purple star James had stuck there cheerfully read ‘good job!’ and, well, yeah. Accurate.
“Just a reminder of how good you are, Reg,” he informed him airly; and predictably, Regulus went bright pink across both cheeks before he reached to carefully peel the sticker from his face, and look at it himself, the star stuck to the tip of his pointer fingers while he peered down at it.
He scrunched up his nose - but didn’t stop blushing, in fact turning an even darker pink once he’d read the words - and looked back at James, before he reached out and stuck it to James’ forehead instead, right above his eyebrow over an old chickenpox scar Regulus liked to trace his fingertips over when he was granted the opportunity.
The smile that pulled at his lips was the briefest flicker of upturned lips, tiny and soft and so thoroughly pleased, and James stared at him and thought I love you, I love you, I love you.
“Stop that,” Regulus murmured, poking him between the eyes; and James grinned back at him, before tackling him to the bed, and ducking in to swallow his giggles.
Several minutes later - when Regulus had been kissed to James’ satisfaction for the time being, because while he would never have kissed him enough he understood that sometimes the other boy needed to breathe - James pressed his lips to Regulus’ cheek, directly over the spot he’d previously placed the sticker; and Regulus huffed back at him, both hands braced against his chest, before he murmured into the space between them.
“You’ll come back to visit sometimes, right? After you’ve moved on campus, you’ll still come back and visit. Not just on holidays to see your parents.”
He wouldn’t meet his eyes, instead staring resolutely at James’ collarbones; and James sighed, and reached to take hold of the hand resting over his heart, holding it tight against his chest.
“I told you at the start, when you were still trying to pretend you didn’t like me back. There’s no getting rid of me, Reg. I’ll visit so often it’ll be like I never went away at all. Hell, you’ll be sick of the sight of me before Christmas even rolls around.”
Regulus scoffed softly, but he’d relaxed again, and he turned his hand in James’ grip so he could interlock their fingers instead; and James hummed happily, and scattered more kisses over his face, lips brushing his cheeks and his eyelids and the tip of his nose.
“I’m not ever going to be sick of you, Jamie,” Regulus whispered, in the millimetres of space between their lips before James could kiss him properly; and he froze, chest suddenly so full he felt like he could burst, breathing out shakily.
God. God, I love you.
James used his free hand to cup Regulus’ jaw in his hand, and led him up into the next kiss; and when they met, he felt him sink into it.
I love you, he thought, and I’ll never leave you, not ever, not for anything, not long enough for you to miss me.
And for a perfect, sun-kissed moment, it was the absolute truth.
(for @siriuslythatbitch)
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Hiii I just saw a post Abt the v day video and how it's fucked up and such and I was just wondering why? I found it a few years ago but it was just kinda cute tbh what's wrong with it? Lmao I'm definitely a newer phan, I only started really following their stuff in like 2017 so I don't know too much about early dnp lol
Oh fuck I’m old
I think it’s safe enough to finally talk publicly about it.
Basically the vday video was a video Phil made for Dan for Valentine’s Day. He uploaded it privately onto his YouTube channel which Dan had the password to so Dan could see it. At this time, Dan was on vacation (pretty sure in India) and he wouldn’t have been able to see a video of that quality just through text or email. Shitty luck, the same time he privately uploaded it, infamous YouTube glitch happened where all private videos became public. And one of the videos that went public was the v day video.
There’s a lot of jokes about Dan in 2012, but it’s actually really depressing. Dan wasn’t out yet and he had a fuck ton of trauma surrounding his sexuality. 2012 is when dnp started blowing up enough to where they became part of popular early YouTube so people saved the v day video when it was uploaded.
They’ve only addressed it a few times in which they said it was an April Fool’s prank, which obviously doesn’t make sense, but what were they supposed to say? According to legend, people would keep reuploading the video and Phil would spend hours taking them down one by one and it would say “AmazingPhil took down this video for copyrite.”
It was a catalyst to just a really shitty period for dnp. All aggressively heterosexual clips from Dan’s liveshows are my 2012. “FYI I like vagina” is 2012. People were contacting his 14 year old brother to ask about him and Phil. That alone is both fucked up to drag a kid into this, but remember that Dan still wasn’t out to his family. It was probably so fucking terrifying when his YouTube life, especially regarding his sexuality and relationship, clashed with his family life for the first time.
There’s a noticeable difference between their relationship in videos from 2009-2011 and 2012-2015. And it is most likely because dnp blew up pretty big in 2012 and started going from making YouTube videos for fun to doing it as a job with the added pressure of millions watching. And the catalyst, or at least metaphorical catalyst, from the switch between being openly touchy feely giggles to strict, five feet apart mates is considered to be the vday vid.
It was a big problem in the phandom since it was leaked to around 2017ish. A lot of people were circulating it and word was that they were still being taken down years later, implying that Phil was still searching for the video years later.
The phandom used to be primarily 12-16 year olds. And when you’re that age, speaking from experience, you don’t understand the complexities of the situation and just kinda thought “teeheehee phan is real XD.” When in reality, it was a very sensitive and serious thing that wasn’t meant to ever be seen by the public. It’s literally where the cherry lube and kissing at the Manchester Eye reference is from.
Rightfully so, the video became more and more taboo to mention and most people caught on that it was a shitty thing to upload or share it. It used to be really taboo and affectionately was often referred to as “the video that shall not be named.”
It honestly has a backstory that is so story-like that it seems unreal. So much had to happen for it to be leaked and the impact it had on them was so large it’s like a black hole in phandom history.
It’s possible not all of this is accurate, this is just the basic lore of it. So while I don’t think the internet police will drag you to prison for saying you watched the vday video, this is the context behind it. Do with it what you will.
Spending your entire preteen, teen, and now 20s as a phannie will fry your brain in unimaginable ways. I knew this off the top of my head😭
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