#depresssion is the worst

[daddario]

I follow 187 blogs and at least half of them haven’t been updated in 3+ years lol where to even begin?

#life post #i have no fandoms right now and no idea if I’d stay on this site but man I do miss it sometimes #well let’s be real I miss caring about things #lol sobs through my tears #depresssion is the worst #What are hobbies? #I don’t even remember having those #Gonna go watch some eps of tw and pretend the movie never happened because wtf it was so terrible I can’t #how did that even get made? #It’s so fucking bad #and mean #why do you hate the fans so much? #Chris argent yelling darkness motherfucker was the only part I liked

[crispyblonde]

the season 4 resurrection arc brainrot is so real

#╰––– » 「 ✞ 」 𝗼𝘂𝘁. ┊ alexa — play my own worst enemy #i want to be active but my depresssion is kicking my ass and ive been sick on top of that

[flower1622]

Good or Evil/The goddess not so ordinary (Fanfic)

(Chapter 18 - Crossover)

(PJO and HP)

Valerie paces around the floor nervous without knowing what to do in these situation:

- Could you please calm down? You are making me dizzy - Selena says

- I'm sorry if it's not you husband who is danger - Valerie says frustrated

- Hey! That thing came from my world. I may be a goddess and don't have a husband, but I still have a family to protect too, alright? - Selena says losing her patience

- Okay. Look, I'm sorry. It's just that I was having a great time on my vacation with my family and now all this is happening - Valerie says almost crying

- I understand this is too much to take in. But I'm gonna need your help. The many people we can get, the better. This is for the future of your family. If you don't try to do anything...they will suffer too - Selena says

- Alright. What do we have to do? - Valerie asks already returning to normal

- First, we need to find the most powerful heroes of this world and warn them about this biggest threat. But, in the worst case, they may have already been turned - Selena says

- Well, if you want to find the most powerful witches of this world,  you are in the right place - Valerie asks

- What do you mean by that? - Selena asks

- What I mean is they are already here. Almost all of them - Valerie

- That's great! We must warn them quickly. Let's go.

Valerie and Selena left the bathroom and went to warn the others, but Selena stops.

- What happened? What is it? - Valerie asks confused

- This place is infested with vampires - Selena says

- How do you know that? - Valerie asks

- Well, I'm a goddess that can feel others' energy. I'm telling you this place is infested with vampires, lots of them. I can feel their dark aura. Maybe... - Selena tries to say

- Maybe what? Tell me! - Valerie says

- Maybe the heroes of this world are already turned - Selena says

- Damn it! We must hurry! I need to save my future husband and stepson. Let's go! - Valerie says while Selena follows her. They go as fast as they can, but suddenly stop and watch two man interacting with each other in a far distance as possible, hiding themselves.

- That one with white hair, he is my future husband - Valerie murmurs while looking at the scene 

- He looks pretty! Is he okay? - Selena asks

- He is. Why the question? - Valerie asks

- Nothing. It's just that his aura seems tired and depresssed - Selena says

- Well, I can't blame him. Even though he used to make bullying with other people, he grew up and turned into an amazing man. What he did in the past wasn't cool, but he was only trying to hide his insecurities by pretending to be an arrogant boy. He lost his parents and has only me and his son to really count on. We are everything to each other. Without one, it feels incomplete - Valerie says

- Wow, that was too deep - Selena says not knowing what to do

- That's why I'm freaking out about vampires being in the same place that my family is. If it was only me, I wouldn't care, but now I have to think about them too - Valerie says

- I understand. Someday, I desire to have a family too. A husband and a baby to care and love - Selena says

- You will! I may not know you so well, but I'm pretty sure they'll be very lucky to have you in their lifes - Valerie says

- Thanks, Valerie! That means a lot to me! Your stepson and husband are very lucky to have someone like you protecting them too! - Selena says

- Well, they are not related to me yet, but we all consider each other family already. That's what counts - Valerie says

- I agree - Selena says

Then Selena sees the waiter serving a drink to the white man and notices that it's not a normal drink, but a love potion.

- Uh, Valerie? - Selena asks 

- What? - Valerie asks

- I think we shouldn't let your future husband drink that - Selena says while pointing to the drink 

- Why not? - Valerie asks

- Because it's a love potion - Selena says

- Really? Because I kind drank it - Valerie says embarassed

- You what? And didn't feel any different? - Selena asks

- Actually, no! - Valerie says

- Well, maybe you are immune or your love for your husband is very deep - Selena says

- Perhaps - Valerie says

- Well, before we go there, we must do something about your dress- Selena says

- What about it? - Valerie asks

- There is blood on it - Selena says

- What?! - Valerie asks

- This thing in red is blood - Selena says while pointing to the specific place on the dress

- Really? I didn't know - Valerie says

- Yes. But, how did you get blood on your cloth? - Selena asks

- Well, someone bumped into me and I bumped into my rival's drink - Valerie says

- Rival? - Selena asks

- Yes. I guess she thinks she is the best for being a gryffindor and being one of the most powerful people of this world - Valerie says

- Wait, what? One of the most powerful people? I don't want to scare you but I think your "rival" is a vampire. Think clear. You bumped into HER drink. The blood was from HER drink. What kind do we know that drinks blood? Except Werewolves. They usually drink when they are transformed in their animals - Selena says

- I would say vampires. But, how do you know a lot about this ? - Valerie asks

- I like to read duh! - Selena says

- Alright, stupid question. But, if Diana is a vampire, so that means they all are - Valerie says while looking panicked at Draco talking to Harry. Harry says something to Draco as if daring him to do something. Draco looks at the cup and answers Harry. Then, he takes the cup.

- We must go now! - Valerie says already waking away

- Too much for waiting - Selena says while using her magic to clean Valerie's dress.

- Hey, Dray! Could we talk for a minute, please? - Valerie asks

- Sure ... - Draco says while looking uncertain about it but went with the girls. But, they didn't notice Harry staring at them, standing up from his seat and walking to Diana, whispering something that made her mad.

Valerie:

Diana:

Spoiler:

"Selena and Valerie will have daughters, but they won't be alive to be mothers. Both will disappear since one is a goddess and the other, a mix of Harry's DNA and Voldemort's DNA created by Dumbledore to be a substitute saviour in case something happened to Harry. Their children will be adopted by other people because their partners (Harry Carter and Draco Malfoy) will also die."

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo series #heroes of olympus #percy jackson heroes of olympus #harry potter #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3

[omniblades-and-stars]

Future and secret for the OC ask?

I have a lot of OCs so I'll answer for Lou, Nilea and Inonsi

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

Lou: The worst possible future Lou is someone who was not able to overcome her traumas and continued to experience a downward spiral of depression and fear and just holed up in her parents house and stayed on Earth and probably developed a substance abuse disorder. She is aware that this was a possibility, and with some encouragement from her father, she goes on to experience a very full life.

Nilea: The worst possible future for Nilea is one where she lets her anger and dismay get the best of her and decides that it's not even worth trying to do something good. So maybe she just keeps on with the shitty merc band she joins, and she just continues to grow more and more jaded. And then she becomes harsh and bitter and violent.

I think Nilea is well aware of how she tends towards that sort of embittered apathy and looks for ways she can make a difference in the word around her very actively to avoid sinking down to that.

Inonsi: Inonsi doesn't make it a habit to plan so far ahead for her future. She is a creature of the here and now. If the worst future was to happen she would become cruelly greedy, but it's so hard for me to imagine her as cruel, I'm not even sure what would need for her to become cruel. It's just so antithetical to her whole personality that I don't even know if I can conceptualize it.

This isn't to say that she's a perfect little ray of sunshine who has never done wrong. She tends to be selfish, so if things go to the dark side, there is a capacity for cruel behavior. I just think it would take a great deal to push her there.

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

Oh this is a good question that I had not really considered at this point. That's why answering this one has taken me so long.

Lou: I think Lou less has some sort of dark secret and more that she doesn't want people to identify in her a tendency toward episodes of depresssion and getting caught up in dysfunctional and codependent relationships. She knows these things about herself, but would vehemntly deny it if someone just said it out loud.

She'd rather most people just believe that she's totally fine, damn it.

Nilea: When Nilea was still an active part of the turian military, she very seriously considered going AWOL. Eventually, she just did what she always did up until PtK, and that was grit her teeth and keep doing it. She will probably never admit it because she feels like it would reflect very poorly on her. And somehow be another way she failed her mother (who's expectations never aligned with Nilea's, but even a couple of years after Juna's death she still has complicated feelings about that.)

Oh also she really likes kitschy little statues and memorabilia, but she would never, ever, ever admit it out loud.

Inonsi: Inonsi is a star-system hopping thief. Her brand of secrets is less shameful world-shattering information about past deeds so much as trade secrets. Her most personal secret is definitely her father's identity and location. Ever since the fiasco she caused as a teenager trying to emulate dear, old dad, she has taken extra care around protecting him and his interests.

Even through some .... interesting times in her family's history (that were definitely pop's fault) she remains quite loyal to him. And would, in fact, put herself in harm's way to keep his location and identity a secret. It is kind of a two person mob situation.

She doesn't worry too much about protecting her mother’s identity since her mom long ago divorced her dad and moved on with her life. Inonsi has a good relationship with her mom, and goes to visit her and her slightly age inappropriate boyfriend every once in awhile.

#this is my ask game tag now #pass the knife #out of context lou posting #out of context nilea posting #inonsi you little menace

[carrioncrowes]

i MUST know 9 and 22 for akechi

for 9, I feel like it's cheating to say the worst part is that he dies TWICE but anyway. That aside.

the worst part of canon is that you have this. you have this man. and he goes out of his way to make time for you, and take him to all his favouite places that he's NEVER shared with anyone before, and he knows that he's going to kill you one day, yet he still comes with you to jazz clubs and aquariums and all manner of places.. that he takes off his glove and throws it at you to challenge you to a duel. and that he even says that if you had just met a year earlier, if you had ONLY met a year earlier.. maybe he could have changed. maybe you could have been friends

but it's too late now

and yet despite all this, you can't fucking kiss him. it drives me insane. Atlus im in your walls, release the akechi romance route right now

AnYWAY for 22. my personal favourite part of Deep Akechi Lore that hardly anyone talks about is just how much his childhood has always been fucked, like everyone likes to go on and on abut how he's a serial killer (god forbid a woman have hobbies) but like. his mother was a sex worker and would make him leave the house and go to the bath house when she brought men over, and then she was severely depresssed and Akechi as a CHILD had to take her into rehab repeatedly until she eventually!!! killed herself!!!!!! and he was thrown through foster care until he managed to start to make a name for himself and live independently. this boy is in HIGH SCHOOL. he had no childhood!!!!! he is forever an angry, bitter, empty child lashing out at a world that never cared about him and it makes me insane!!!!!!! i have to bite him

#for the court #goro akechi #I CANT EXPRESS WHAT HE DOES TO MY BRAIN

[droxdon]

Just learned that there's a stage of being so depressed that you can't even cry or anything. It occurs when you mix immense depresssion and trauma with mental fortitude harder than steel. Funny thing? I learned this through having to experience it. I've escaped it now and wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Anyways, remember to stay healthy in the head and check up on loved ones. Sometimes, the strongest people are the ones who are really the "weakest."

#sad thoughts #depressing shit #mental health

[gpuzzle]

so I've been daydreaming about my own void impulse of going out and living in an experimental farm doing all sorts of hippie shit mixed with a high tech "how do I automate this garbage" thing

and I know what's happening, it's my runaway instinct when I feel my life falling apart, to latch on to opportunities to run the fuck away

and I 100% know why, it's the complete uncertainty of where I'll be living in by the end of the year

of my life failing to start, or at least what it feels like

so it goes "why don't you just run the fuck away"

which is what I did when I was dealing with some nasty depresssion right off a breakup, I took the opportunity to ether myself to the middle of nowhere and be a townie in a small college town for months on end

it healed the severe depresssion by being a monastic retreat so I only had to worry about sustaining myself and how to keep my mind busy; I didn't have to worry about anything else

but it created this weird scar in me where by empirical evidence I know I can be loved and I know that it's not on me to decide who wants me and if I'll want them back, and that when I am in love it is incredibly intoxicating, but the comedown on a breakup is the worst of all worlds

it makes me afraid to fall in love again, and unsure as to whether I'll fall in love again

and still I'll see a cool girl at the record store and my heart will skip and I'll be frozen, terrified

thanks, therapy

[loveisbraveandwild]

the worst period of my life is going to be the 2 months between glendale and philly when i'm so depresssed over missing taylor and wanting to be with her and not being able to for almost 2 full months

#gonna be the post sessions depression all over again #and i know there are ways i can like proactively prepare a bit #but i just like will be uncontrollably sobbing for 2 months i know it

[kamil-a]

meandering thoughts forming in my head

abt how alice seems to truly believe she has no use or value to her original world + the way her self imposed burdens and responsibilities post lorina's death are all like.... internal. like u have a younger sister and an extremely depressed dad but the responsibilities dont go to them or even to like "doing good in lorina's memory" it goes to remembering forever like a scar how awful evil *she* is and to not letting *herself* ever grow past that moment. and again i think "selfish" is too judgey a word but i do think its a deeply like... self centered way to think. though it's entirely understandable. like. i do understand why shes behaving that way. but its :( . and i kind of see why edith might be upset with her especially if this is like, a pattern over their lives.

i think, and i think from experience, that it is easy to forget that u have any kind of impact on others. esp when ur deeply depresssed. but un/fortunately it turns out you do actually. she just had to go somewhere else to see it.

alice has negative traits but not for the reasons she thinks shes the worlds worst human yknow. but she is lovable even with those traits. so that could mean something maybe.

#thoughtful honking

[ask-cloverfield]

deferring my diploma was a mistake

#the worst part is I dropped out of the thing i deferred my diploma for in the first place #because I A had a breakdown #b my brother was diagnosed with cancer #C I became paranoid about catching something and spreading it to him #D i was very very depresssed #and e I now have to finish classes I wouldn't of had to do because I was a fool

[ratabrasileira]

asks?

#the worst thing of being depresssed #it's to not eat properly #i just ate a little #and now i want to puke #fuck #of course there's the void too #i try to draw and sucks everything sucks #i need to be 1% less depressed

[memoriesofasuicidalgirl]

I’m everything my depression didn’t take from me.

#which is not much tbh #actually it's nothing at all #buy hey thing could be worst #or so they say lol #my own mess #depressed #depresssion #depression

[hollyhomburg]

what’s the biggest argument that’s ever occurred between any of the members of the pack?

Probably jk wanting to go on seizure medication and namjoon saying it wasn’t safe. It happened when yoongi was away because his seizures got really bad. I think that jk briefly went on seizure medication at first and like- the side effects where almost as bad as the seizures and he was regularly like- too dizzy to move around and even walk strait on most of them and an insomniac at best,

i think one time that really rattled namjoon in the others was one day when jk started to try and get up and just- couldn’t- the mild sedative/paralitic was just too strong. There where a bunch of other side effects- like neausea that made it hard for jk to get the right kind of neutrition he needed and depresssion- their kookie just didn’t smile like he used too- he probably tried to shrug it off like “I’m sad because our packmate left not because of the pills Hyung” but nj wouldn’t have been convinced.

I think jk also would have been undergoing a lot of tests too and they found that it affected his liver pretty heavily too so he had to go off of them. After the 3rd new medication in as many months, namjoon faught with him about it, jk wanted to keep trying to find one that worked but namjoon was infinitely more worried about the hidden damages to jks body.

Jk and namjoon didn’t talk to each other for 3 days until jk agreed to go off of the medication and try to live with his seizures. At worst they where twice a week, with yoongi and his diet/sleep schedule- they’re about once every two weeks, on the medication they where about the same because none of them quite worked right for kookie.

[secret-findings]

My thoughts are razor blades

cutting my flesh like paper

My blood flows like water

I breathe these thoughts

that cut my lungs and body

into shreds.

I am my own worst enemy.

- S.F.

#writers #writer #writing #author #spilled words #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #depression #mental health #feelings #own worst enemy #words have power #words have meanings #thinking #depresssing thoughts

[sleepy-chespin]

Story time

So I figure I'll get this out there, I've been struggling for about 11 years now with depression and suicide and all that other lovely stuff, and it's been so rough this year keeping myself going, I've lost so much, I've lost so many people in only 10 months, and it's been so rough that all the work I'd done towards getting better towards being able to be myself and learn to cope with everything that's happened growing up has been crumbling. I've been trying so hard to keep holding on to hope, to keep marching through life not letting this stop me, to be a better person and help others, but it's come to a point where I feel like maybe it's not enough maybe I'm not enough and I start falling faster, and im afraid to ask people for help I dont want to make people worry, but feeling so alone like this only makes it harder. If I could just know that I mean something to someone, that I matter and that I've helped them even just the slightest then maybe I could regain the motivation and confidence to get better but I can't just ask "hey I matter to you right?" Or "Im not a burden of a friend am I?" I just can't ask that it puts people on the spot it's uncomfortable and worrisome. I just want to be able to one day see that I'm not as bad as I think and feel and that I can start getting better again.

#im not sure how to tag this one #tw depresssion #i mean it is what this is about #its always the worst times that i get bad #its always when im alone to think that i scare myself #tw suicide mention #im just tired now

[alacranite]

--

#im miserably depresssed and being sick sure isn't helping #aila rambles #id like to just #yknow #not #be derpessed or sick #hell ill take being sick over being depressed #id even gladly suffer through the worst congestion over spending just another day being depressed #i wanna be more than this #im drowning in it #im literally at the point where im skeptical that i even have anything to me outside of depresssion